#just me yapping about life
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8 October, Tuesday 2024
Ouffffff
Last time I updated was almost a month ago and let me tell you that sooo much has happened.
(Needed to take some time for myself, and so much happened, didn't have the energy, nor felt the need to share on tumblr)
So,
Main events of the previous month:
- Had multiple outings with friends and family, was soo much fun, made some life memories ♡
- School started, I had to start this year in a degree I don't like, but hey I met soo much girls/friends and we happened to have so much in common, imagine my surprise when I discover thar one of them knows my cousin 🤨, so guess those 3 weeks in this degree were worth it ✨️✨️
- Now, the NEWS I was expecting since the start of september, I wanted to change studies to go into science and I GOT ACCEPTED. Well I have almost 3 weeks of classes to catch up on but at least I LOVE what I'm learning and studying. I definitely did not feel that in my previous degree, but now it's like I can finally exploit my skills and knowledge. I feel like im in the right field. Youhouuu! 🎉
(I'm also on the same campus than a cousin of mine and 2 close friends, isn't everything soo great? I rarely saw them before but now we often cross paths hehe, that's one of the perks of studying in the city you grew up in)
- I also met with multiple close friends I hadn't seen for a long time so it's also a positive note.
- Today, I had my first driving lesson, I never drove a car before so I will have to take between 30 and 35 hours of lesson.
Almost 60euros per lesson, oh gosh that's so expensive 💀💀💀💀
And my cousin only had to drive 20hours. HAAAAAA. *expressing frustration
And omg the instructor literally tried to intimidate me, I think she was testing me, she invaded my personal space, and I was like "Hehe alright when do we start " 😀 Ughh, help.
- I also watched the 2nd season of jjk, and damn gege, stop making the fans suffer.
(I never watch animes even tho I love them, so for me that was also an accomplishment)
Anddd that's it I guess.
Now
Personal goals:
Did I stop scrolling? No, but I'm not extremely addicted anymore, I can stop and not be distracted when I study so it means I improved on that point.
Those last 6 months struggles paid off it means 😁
(But I need to be careful to not fall back into it, I think it could easily happen)
I'm also including short exercices in my routine.
Stretching more often.
I still don't eat healthy, on this aspect I'm doing really bad at the moment 😓
But, I can study without distractions and actually work my lessons, that's a W.
What else could I mention?
Sleep: I have a nice sleep schedule now, I managed to sleep early almost every night and wake up early in the mornings, I feel rested and great.
Mental health: I think it's adulthood doing that to me but I've started to go from optimistic to pessimistic. I discovered lots of new negative feelings during the last year, I don't like how I'm changing negatively.
I guess I just had a taste of reality, not everything's perfect, neither are people, I guess I've started to come out of my bubbly wrapped pink dusted innocent view of life. Welcome to reality as they say. People are not as nice as I had always thought. I'm starting to not like people. But I only became 19 recently after all, i feel like a child mentally, am I not 1 year old in adulthood?
Anyway, I just want to be nice for the sake of it, does it mean they will see me as naive ans stupid? Well I am not, I just chose to be kind.
Let me fight evil with kindness.
Also need to work on my faith, because without it I lose my inner peace.
And to finish, let's talk about health; well, health wise I'm really not doing great. I really can't handle the humidity in my city and everyday I feel like im about to have a heart attack in the sense that I feel this humidity in my head, heart, bones, nose, throat, EVERYDAY. I really don't feel great, and I KNOW that's its because of how humid everything is.
I'm even 80% sure that it's because of the humidity that I developed so much allergies. Screw bad healthcare and bad doctors, in 6 years, couldn't they tell me that I was suffering everyday single day because I had developed so many allergies? Maybe it should have been obvious when I told them that I sneezed literally hundreds of times per day and had a very runny nose every day of the year FOR 6 YEARS
(I feel resentment)
Well.
Overall life has been 70% positive, 30% negative.
So much great things happened and I'm really happy but life's not easy for anyone and like any lambda human, I have my deal of problems.
But well, I think our purpose as humans is to keep trying to BE better and DO better.
So I won't give up, for the sake of my own life.
And we always have more good things in life than bad, others sometimes even have it worse, we just need to be open minded enough to see all the great things that have been granted to us.
Goodnight people.
N'abandonne pas, ça va aller <3
Crois en toi et continue à faire des efforts ✨️
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I don't remember who I am | you are the universe looking back at itself
#I tried to do my own rendition of the machine girl cover ajfkdawfkawfj#this project means the WORLD to me.#splitter and fanieant and taxidermy girl all came out at the exact moments in my life i was going through the same thing-#/realising stuff about myself and remembering trauma#all the girls mean so much to me and there's each a part of them in me AND AND AND!!!!!!!!!!#nurse parallel's lyrics really did it in for me and I was sitting at my desk liek that one speed gif trying not to cry#okay. im just yapping now#weevildoing#machine girl weevildoing#tptm#the post traumatic manifesto#nurse parallel tptm#xiomara huapaya#harvart#my art#SOMETIMES WHEN YOU THINK IT'S OVER YOU JUST KEEP ON LIVING 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
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just waiting for it all to get better!!!!
#just some isat stuff i did last night in a frenzy#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time spoilers#my art#isat#i’m be 100% real with you all drawing has been so boring lately..#i’ve been focusing on music bc it’s what i hope to pursue as a side job from my actual work and that’s eventually stemmed into#”oh man. why would i draw when i can think about music. and imagine it. and play it. and use it for so many things”#and art has gotten kicked to the curb completely#need that post burn out piece of media to inspire me yk…. come find me life-altering video game or movie pls…#anyway yap session over 👍
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One thing I've noticed about Piltover, not only do they not take disabled people into consideration(i.e. Salo and Viktor), they don't even think about their non-human residents. Steb being the number person to use as my evidence.
Stebs uniform when we first meet him is the typical enforcer uniform. The only difference is you can clearly see that Steb wasn't given a uniform that took his biology into consideration. The collar of the uniform goes up to the fin that's on the back of head/neck, and for fishes fins can be used to feel around them so I doubt having something rubbing up against the end of it all day is comfortable. Not only that but we know that his ears can move and are seen facing more outwards and away from his head, his hat wouldn't allow that and would make it very uncomfortable. The straps of his hat also cover the gils on his jaw and that as well would be uncomfortable, they're silts in his skin that would most likely allow him to breathe underwater so having fabric rub against it would be uncomfortable.
In conclusion, his uniform wasn't made with him in mind. His uniform would be fine for the typical human, the collar might be annoying but not uncomfortable for some. The hat wouldn't cause discomfort as well, it would be like wearing a typical hat or even just like a helmet. But that's for a human, Steb clearly isn't human. He's more fish-esque than human, his biology is different meaning his needs are different. His uniform doesn't fit those needs.

His uniform for Caitlyns striketeam is better suited for his needs(at least some of them). The collar goes out more, it's not rubbing up against his fin. His hat is much different, it's no longer covering his ears and it doesn't have straps that covers his gils.
Obviously Caitlyn had a say on the uniforms because they're part of her striketeam but she also took in Stebs needs and how his old uniform wasn't made with him in mind. So she made the suitable changes, even if they don't seem important, for Steb it most likely made his uniform more comfortable.
His uniform in act3, while it seems different than the others around him based on the fact that it doesn't have a belt and his arm things are black with minimal gold outlines, it still seems like the typical enforcer uniform based on the color scheme. Not only that but it looks similar to his uniform when he was on Caitlyns striketeam.
His collar still pokes out and away from his fin. His hat doesn't cover his ears and it doesn't have a strap that covers his gils.
This uniform takes in his biology, probably more than the two previous ones he wore based on the fact that it looks much more different. Graysons uniform and Marcus' uniform never looked like the one Steb wears in act3 and both of them were of a higher rank than Steb. So it's safe to assume that this new uniform that Steb wears is better sited for his needs.
Basically before all of this, Piltover never took in their non-human residents into consideration when doing things despite having Heimerdinger(a non-human) as a councilor and founder. Steb is a prime example of that, he shows this fact with the different uniforms he wears when on screen.
#arcane#steb#steb arcane#arcane steb#steb my beloved#i love him sm in case you didnt notice#yapping#not a professional yapper#just a yapper with no life#because i could talk about this for a good while before getting off topic and end up talking about how adam and shiro deserve better#ik im very talented#arcane piltover#piltover doesnt think about anyone but the able-bodied humans they have#and getting what they want ig#unimportant#steb is what they should think about#hes so pretty#hes my wife#trust me
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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr

#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
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I took my golden kiwi ice skating!
and made this silly video of us doing skills
🎵 The Blue Danube Waltz - Johann Strauss II


Phiwi had a lovely time!
#figure skating has completely taken over my life in ways i can't even begin to explain lmao#If anyone wants to yap about the world of competitive figure skating please yell at me#Now is a great time to get into watching it too#European Championships have just been on and then this month is the 4 Continents and then next month is the World Championships!!!#There's also a mega post I wrote up as a guide for people getting into watching skating (see the bottom of my pinned post)#I am actually quite proud of how far I've come with my skating in just a few months :)#and doing everything whilst holding a metal bird is certainly one way to test your proficiency at a skill hahaha#the phiwi#phan#dan and phil#dnp#phil lester#daniel howell#pholden phiwi#phiwi#figure skating
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good morning tetro community
@jubileedeeznuts-posting dragged me into this because he's a dastardly awful terrible unforgivable wretch and i HATE her
#my art#tetro danganronpa pink#hiroaki nakamigawa#ojima takeshi#hama ran#that's right ... it's me .... jubilee “mate” who was dragged in for the third trial .....#im just gonna yap in the ensuing tags don't mind that#hama's such a cutie i actually love him so bad thats all abt that#“that's all” no it's not i just wanted to draw him smiling bc he deserves it#what a sweetie bro has done nothing wrong ever#and hiroaki and takeshi .... wait shoudl i tag#hirojima#anyways aside from shipping i just think their dynamic is really really good#hiroaki is so clearly bothered by takeshi zoning out but vehemently doesn't blame HIM for it#and defends him against other people getting mad at him for it AND their accusations because he TRUSTS takeshi more than anyone#that trust and that bond means so much in a setting like this#andit must mean so much to takeshi who feels so unsafe in his life. in this place. in his own head. but he has SOMEONE he can feel safe wit#the way he calls for nakamigawa when he's in such a vulnerable state and sounds so close to tears#that bond is something so special. i'm not even talking about shipping it's just so SPECIAL. this is so MEANINGFUL#having someone to rely on even if you're not ready to tell them your deepest traumas#but still knowing that they'd be there for you when you need or want them#not being in your right mind but calling out for someone and they're THERE and they keep reassuring you of that fact#holy mother of god#i really like takeshi and hiroaki but especially takeshi he's my number 1#tetro danganronpa
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another post for @bttfjanaury! this one's @itsthemorph's mermarty au and very predictably i got carried away with it LMAO.
yap session and bonus stuff below the cut:
once again i came up with an entire backstory for this au, and if i were a fanfiction writer i would genuinely consider writing it since it's a lot less visually comedic than the weredoc au (and comedic in general, it's played a little straighter than "man turns into dog and is thoroughly inconvenienced by it") (unfortunate [in reference to visuals] bc i enjoy drawing mermarty a great deal more than weredoc GBJKGJ) bc i really like the premise but i'm pretty bad at fleshing out a narrative in enough detail to last the whole story so bullet points it is:
doc has decided to take a break from his time-travel-related research and go on vacation! the fresh coastal air might jostle a couple ideas into place, and while he is a nuclear physicist and not a marine biologist he wouldn't mind checking out some of the local aquatic life
and by local aquatic life he meant like normal fish and stuff. a nice mollusk or two even. so when he ends up fishing an entire boy out of the water instead he's understandably very shocked
before doc can move past the "where did he come from??" thought to register his more fish-like qualities, the boy makes a run (a swim?) for it. fortunately or unfortunately for doc, he ends up being able to register the fish-like qualities after all since he gets dragged into the water along with him. the moment doesn't last too long, though, and the fish-boy is gone as soon as doc realizes the guy has a fish tail instead of legs
doc gets back on the dock (haha), thinks about the whole ordeal for a bit, and decides that the best course of action is just to assume he hallucinated the whole thing in a fit of heatstroke or something like that. he's here to relax and get his thoughts in order so he can continue working on his time machine! there's no time to investigate fairy-tale creatures or whatever supposedly living off the coast of california!
it's not shown in the comic but i imagine doc has a little portable radio next to him as he was fishing, so some time passes before he catches a glimpse of something shining in the water underneath the dock
he looks through the cracks in the dock and lo and behold, it's the same boy from earlier! doc greets him, and the boy immediately disappears under the water. doc thinks he's scared him off until a few minutes later where he pokes his head out and says hi back
they get to chatting and doc learns a couple things:
1. his name is marty!
2. he was trying to get doc to realize that he forgot to put bait on his hook but got his hand caught on it, and was trying to get his hand unstuck from the hook without ripping it open before doc ever had the chance to see him, which he obviously failed at
3. both the being seen and ripping his hand open, because in his haste to get away after being seen by doc he ended up doing that anyways. so there's like a lot of blood coming out of his hand now? but like don't worry about it. it'll be fine. he thinks.
4. he really likes whatever it is that's playing on the radio
doc insists on patching up his hand and initially marty refuses but lets him do it eventually, and marty tells doc that for a land dweller he's actually surprisingly nice. doc says nah anyone would want to help out someone hurt, especially if they're the one's who caused it. and marty's kind of confused by that because his family's always warned him of how dangerous humans are, which he kind of never thought too hard about until now where his time off this particular coast has really proven them correct, because he's encountered a bunch of humans over the past couple weeks and they've all tried to kill him or catch him. doc's the only one who's actually bothered to say hi!
after learning that particular not-at-all-concerning tidbit, doc asks him to elaborate because there's a lot to unpack over there, but someone else walks onto the dock before marty can get a word in and he takes off
marty does not return, even once the other guy leaves, and when doc packs it up to return to the place he rented out for the vacation he overhears a conversation among a group of men about spotting something weird in the water earlier and that it kind of looked like a mermaid? and that if any of them manage to catch it they'll all be rich as thieves. and another guy in the convo goes no you're thinking of rich as kings, you're mixing it up with a different analogy. and the first guy goes no i'm not i said what i said
so now this vacation is doing anything but clearing doc's mind. he's really worried about that little fish guy
there's a couple more ideas i had but halfway through writing out this bullet list i've realized that if i were to actually write this as a fanfiction, i'd probably want to keep those a surprise. so what i just wrote out is kind of the equivalent of one chapter
edit after thinking about it a bit more: since most humans have been trying to kill him, marty really has no incentive to let a guy know that he's wasting his time fishing with a baitless hook. so a. he's still pretty optimistic that most humans aren't out to get him, even if his experience off this particular coast says otherwise, so he was trying to be nice anyway or b. (which i think is a lot funnier) he has started to pull on people's lines as a way to fuck with them. i think if i wrote this i'd change it to this one
i based mermarty off of a guppy fish! specifically this kind of guppy fish:

i was searching up kinds of fish and he just had the vibe of this thing. although now i think i should've made him a flying fish instead. for the pun
alternate ending to the mini comic:
the other one makes a little more sense since just approaching a guy whose species doesn't know about your existence unprompted is pretty stupid even for marty (and also i thought it was funny that the hook didn't have anything but doc ends up catching something anyways) but i still think this one's funny too
#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#doc brown#emmett brown#mermarty au#kit does an art#kit yap session#what's with me and animal related bttf au's this is like the third/fourth time#first being weredoc second being the penguin picture and third being this bit we came up with on discord where everything was the same#except doc was a horse LMAO#i spent so long coloring mermarty and i have no regrets. very fun to draw the fish. 10/10 would reccommend#scratching my brain thinking of how i can make the plot of bttf still happen if marty's a fish#“and then back to the future happens” is my favorite bit about these kinds of aus gbkjgbjkg#maybe doc builds the flux capacitor into a speedboat or something#the mcflys are all fish but biff and jennifer are human in this version of the au. just to let you know#needles is a pufferfish. not like this will come up at all ever but i felt the need to share that#“his ass is not binding properly” could refer to most versions of marty i think#i can't believe that a mermaid au of bttf being my first piece of written fanfiction is more plausible than not at this point#such is life i guess.#tag as ship and i feed you to the sharks. they don't normally eat people but there's exceptions to be made i think
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I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.
Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.
Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.
I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.
This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.
They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.
#merlin meta#bbc merlin#merthur#ignore me im literally just rambling#im not sure this even makes sense but i had to yap it out anyway!!#i think merlins love for Arthur surpasses his destiny in a way#He foresakes himself and his people just to ensure Arthur lives#but that turned out to be the undoing of them all#I cannot stress enough how insane this makes me#its sometimes harder to look at Arthur and understand how his love for merlin takes form#but the way he starts taking small steps to check in on merlin when he's being particularly quiet#or noticing the changes in merlin is a good indicator because it is so completely opposite his nature#and ofc the way in which he trusts merlin so completely#remember this is a man who has constant problems with people he chooses to trust#and he also shows time and time again how far he's willing to go beyond the accepted norms to also protect merlin#I think it was always harder for him to allow himself to open about his emotions#and it was much easier to keep it under lock and key to avoid it being seen as a weakness#Obviously thanks to Uthers A+ parenting which could not have helped#but as the seasons go on he begins to open up and thats no small part in thanks to merlins influence in his life#and when it comes to the finale they are both boiled down to raw emotion having to face each other#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon
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Ford loves Stan’s tits. On the Stan O’ War he’ll ambush Stan from behind and slither his hands under Stan’s shirt, past his gorgeous stomach and up his ample chest. Stan could be doing anything. Fishing, cooking, on the phone with the kids, it doesn’t matter to Ford. He’ll grope and squeeze and flick at Stan’s dusky nipples till his twin is painfully hard in slacks. Then he’ll walk away like nothing happened, leaving Stan alone with a boner he now has to take care of by himself, cursing his twins name under his breath as he jacks off to the ghost sensation of Ford’s large hands playing with his breasts.
Anyways, that’s it, that’s the post.
#stancest#can you tell my creative juices are struggling#I have so many ideas but I just can’t get myself to write them :((#cooking up a stancest heart flower au and for someone I just can’t sit down and start writing#if anybody wants to hear me yap about it let me know 👉👈#life is hard 😔😔
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭

like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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Kyra’s Design & Symbolism

I just wanted to ramble about how I designed Kyra, and all of the tiny details behind why I did so! Hehe!!
Inspiration
First of all— Why did I base her on the Disney Princess Stereotype?
If you think about it, its honestly perfect. Someone thats based on the Disney Princess Stereotype, trapped in a school of villains and unable to escape??? Its hilariously perfect, and such a good way to poke fun at tropes. Shes quite literally the perfect “Damsel in Distress” , especially how shes always somehow involved in each and every overblot.
It was pretty interesting and fittingly cliche. It feeds into the whole “damnsel in distress, captured by the villlain!” Cliche, and it kind of pokes fun at the fact many stereotypical princesses in media usually find themselves in unsavory situations, and need to be “saved”.
I will continue to expand on this more— but I also wanted to make it obvious that Kyra does not belong at NRC.
I wanted to make sure she stands out somehow, just to make it obvious that Kyra does not belong here, and was never meant to be at NRC in the first place.
A princess in a school of villains… Its just too funny of a concept to pass up!
General Design
Like I said earlier, Kyra was designed with the goal to stand out. To make it obvious that she doesn’t belong at NRC at all, and be the complete opposite of most of the NRC cast.
Kyra is meant to oppose NRC itself. She goes against what NRC represents, and the student body itself as “villains”.
A magicless student in an academy for mages, a foolishly selfless and (mostly—) humble girl surrounded by prideful students, a representation of light in a place that is a place of darkness as the “Villains’ World”.
Kyra is meant to stand out not only as my technical “MC”, but also to represent and have her as a symbol for change at NRC. With her arrival to NRC, and through the events of the main storyline, Kyra obviously has an effect on everyone she meets, and somehow I wanted to make sure that when you see her, it was someone you’d never forget. Not just from her actions, but from how memorable she is in general.
Even her name, Kyra, was purposeful. Depending on what language you check, it has different meanings, but every one of them suit her perfectly.
In Greek, the origin language for her name, it means “Queen”, “Ruler”, “Lord” or “Lady”; yet in Japanese it can mean “Glittering” or “Shiny”.
And in many other languages, Kyra has other meanings.
“Sun”, “Far-Sighted” and “Throne” in Persian, “Beam of Light” in Sanskrit, “Leader Of The People”, “Beloved”, “The One People Look To” in Russian, and “Beloved”, “Precious”, “Valuable” in Turkish.
I could go into detail on how all of these meanings fit her perfectly, but this post would get too long HAHAHAH
While Kyra is meant to oppose the NRC cast in some way, she was specifically designed and written in a way to directly parallel Malleus. I will make a post talking about how and why, and when I do I’ll link it Here!!
In a nutshell: Kyra was designed with the intent of being a contrast to NRC itself. She was designed and written in a way that is meant to set her apart from the cast, not only as the technical “MC” as my Yuusona, but also because of what shes based on.
But !!! She is also meant to be a physical representation of change at NRC. Of new beginnings, and love.
Color Scheme
Besides Pink and White being my favorite colors (SHHH IGNORE THAT FACT FOR NOW!!) — Kyra’s color scheme is actually meant to parallel Malleus. Like I said before, they are direct parallels personality and lorewise, and I wanted to show their parallels even through their designs.
Black and White are obvious opposites; Pink and Green are also directly across from eachother in the color wheel!
Buut, its also meant to parallel Disney Villains in general! Like I mentioned before, she is meant to parallel NRC and, by extension, the student body. See, one of Disney’s favorite things to do for their villains is using a bright green when animating scenes with their villains.


Soo, it was just too perfect and fitting to pass up!
That, alongside the main color for NRC being black, gave me the perfect idea. It fits so well, as the symbolism of both the colors pink and white perfectly fit Kyra’s entire concept! Her color scheme is not only the opposite of Malleus’, but also the colors commonly used for Disney villains in general.
White being a famous symbol of purity and innocence, and hints to the naive, innocent, sheltered princess stereotype.
Pink being a famous symbol for femininity, love and compassion. It is also very affiliated with princesses.
Furthermore, white also symbolizes perfection, honesty and beginnings.
Uniform Design
Oh lawwdd here we go… *cracks knuckles*
Kyra’s uniform is, again, supposed to somehow represent how she doesn’t “belong” at NRC despite wearing the uniform. Its heavily customized, and also represents her love for fashion and her desire to express herself.
Kyra’s uniform is mainly inspired by two kinds of fashion. Lolita fashion and Himekaji fashion!

Her sleeves are inspired by Lolita fashion, while her cropped jacket, innershirt and skirt are all inspired by Himekaji, a Gyaru substyle!
Himekaji is actually her main inspiration, and I have a few different reasons! Though, one is just because it suits her perfectly, theres one other!
“Himekaji” when directly translated, is “Princess — Casual”. And Kyra IS a princess trying to act casual and hide her royal background. Its a funny little way to hint at something, but its a fun fact I love about Kyra hehe
Furthermore, both Lolita fashion and Gyaru fashion are alternative fashion styles meant to fight back against the usual beauty standard and societal norms! Both are styles meant to represent dressing up for fun and for yourself, and not for others.
Lolita Fashion~
Additionally, Japanese culture emphasises the importance of motherhood as a “sacred mission” and discourages women from pursuing a career as it distracts her from her main task of motherhood and running the family home.
Thus girls and women who wear Lolita are rejecting the societal expectation of low-importance careers and homemaking in favour of a fantasy in which they can “fulfill their own sense of princess-like aesthetic beauty” and avoid growing up in a more mundane world.
Lolita fashion appears to be a rejection of societal expectations in favour of a luxurious, responsibility-free life.
Hehe, get it? Kyra was told her whole life her only purpose in life was to be beautiful and get married. She lacked any sense of identity other than the one that was forced upon her— and now, she dons a sense of fashion that is deeply rooted in fighting against those exact same ideals!
Gyaru Fashion~
The term “Gyaru” In Japan is usually used to refer to young women who are cheerful, sociable, and willing to convey their feelings and emotions through actions such as adopting trendy fashions.
The fashion subculture was considered to be nonconformist and a rebelling against Japanese social and aesthetic standards during a time when women were expected to be housewives
Also!— Gyaru girls in particular, are often associated with a carefree and rebellious spirit, challenging traditional Japanese norms of appearance and behavior. This ties in very well with Kyra’s own views of living, and which is why I made her main style lean more towards Himekaji, yet still made sure that there are hints of lolita fashion in her outfits, too!
In short— both of the fashion cultures I took most inspiration for with Kyra’s style both were created with the intent to rebel against what was expected of women in society.
Its kind of silly, but I thought it’d be a really fun way of representing who Kyra is and even hinting parts of her backstory through her uniform!!
Coffin Symbol

Man I really need to remake this😭😭
You might be thinking— “A dove? Isn’t that kind of random??” And, yes, thats what I thought too at first.
But, the thing is, even if Kyra’s character began as being inspired by the Disney Princess Stereotype; Kyra herself has her own story. And if I gave her a symbol that resembled her background and status of royalty, that would just completely throw away her entire character.
While Kyra may be royalty, during the course of the storyline she is actively trying to get away from it. Of course, it will always be part of her, and you can’t erase the past. But she strives to be more than just her beauty, and more than just her status.
And so, I decided to give her a symbol that represented who she truly is perfectly. A symbol of who she is and what she believes in.
Birds in general are a famous symbol of freedom. Something that is vital to Kyra’s character development and beliefs.
But ! I decided on a dove specifically because it represented her own beliefs the best, but also her role in the main storyline.
The dove has always been a famous synbol connected to the heavens. But it is also a symbol of peace, inner tranquility, harmony, purity, as well as love and freedom.
Personally, have always seen doves as a symbol for a new, prosperous era. The dove is the perfect symbol for Kyra! Freedom, love, and rebirth is everything she values and believes to most.
Similarly, ever since coming to NRC she's brought with her a new era of renewal. Spreading love wherever she goes whether people realize it or not, her effect on others is undeniable!
Honestly, the reason I chose the dove is also because of the story from the Bible with Noah’s arc.
Genesis 8:6-12: After forty days Noah opened a window he had made in the ark and sent out a raven, and it kept flying back and forth until the water had dried up from the earth. Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. But the dove could find nowhere to perch because there was water over all the surface of the earth; so it returned to Noah in the ark.
He reached out his hand and took the dove and brought it back to himself in the ark. He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth. He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.
This story is why the dove in her symbol is specifically holding an olive branch! The dove being the symbol of the coming of a new era after a great disaster, isn’t it fitting?
Anyways— Another reason that I have is that, again, I wanted her to somehow act as a parallel/opposite to the NRC cast. While NRC is represented by a raven, I simply thought it’d be fitting for Kyra to be represented by a white bird.
Its also a way for me to once again poke fun at stereotypes. Ravens are commonly seen as bad omens and “evil” in media, while doves are much more praised and beloved and commonly related to the heavens.
Buut !!! There is more !!! Continuing on my raven - dove symbolism…
Ravens are often symbols of death, while Doves are symbols of rebirth.
If it wasnt obvious already, I really like it when there are parallels within themes and characters WHAHAHAHA
Kyra herself is going through a period of rebirth and renewal throughout the main storyline. She is slowly discovering herself and the life she wants to lead, thus beginning her new, personal journey of life.
While she helps others— they help her, too. Without even realizing it.
Kyra’s character development focuses on Freedom, Love (romantic, platonic, self-love and familial—), Rebirth/New beginnings, Inner peace, and Hope in spite of a terrible past. Remaining full of love and hope regardless of the situation, and slowly coming to terms with who she is as a person.
HOLYY YAAPP😭😭 I put in a little TOO much thought into Kyra’s silly self methinks… only for me to mostly post only crack about her LMFAOOO
@screamintoad since I yapped to u abt this before hehe …
#🎀🕊️! kyra#yes this is how im going to reveal Kyra’s religous references ty#me when Kyra is super super complex but then i turn around and only make shit posts HELPME#its just so much more fun being unserious ……..#kyra …. my queen ………. ily …………#funfact!!: the reason I began shipping Kyra with Floyd is the exact same reason why I decided on Kyra’s symbol#I sat down one day and rlly thought about who SHE would want as a partner… Who would be best for her considering her background…#and boom— it just clicked!! Floyd!!! perfection!!! (worst decision of my life /j)#<- i have a seperate yap sesh abt that in my drafts somehwere….#twst#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twst wonderland#disney twst#yuusona#twst yuu
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WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY!!!!
#god i hope this feeling holds when the sun rises tomorrow. at least i have a little charming prism that fractures it for me#it hangs off the vent in my living room (where i get the sun rising across treetops and below: an industrial landscape that#for some reason. has become very dear to me)#it has it's own shine in the morning#and there's a lot of gruff men that light up when i walk naniu and we both say hello#one of the companies (and this is soooooooo. you know what i can't even say it bc too revealing but. there's an inside joke here) and#i had a laugh about it with some of them a time ago and it made us ??? idk we always say hi and more but with that lilt of 'please linger'#and it has made this whole ordeal so much easier#wow i really am a spout unstoppable after the anon thing aren't i. but truly who gives a shit. here i am#you can't do worse than what i was in a few months ago lmao. (please don't try it)#precautionary 'i WILL delete this' if it feels funny a couple minutes from now#anywaythis industry is shoulder to shoulder with a forest landscape where i let nana loose each morning to stretch her bil ol toothpick legs#and we always come across the other dogowners and we all have that same weight to us. it is so comforting to say g'mornin to someone just as#bleak and newly awoken as yourself#and sometimes we talk. theres this cane corso couple that i adore more than life#we have similar interests. god ill just leave it at that i guess. what am I YAPPING SO MUCH FOR WHAT HAVE YOU DONE#yeah im deleting this. am I? who cares (oh my god I do. I DO)#AAAAAAAH (tailcoats on fire)
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Honestly I feel for Sam but serves him right.
Even if we ignore the potential intermingling of the web or any other other spooky strings that are likely being pulled, there's a lot to unpack here.
I wouldn't say Sam "deserved" it, but Alice tried warning him for months. This is what he gets for sticking his nose in places it didn't belong.
Did I say the same thing about Jon in TMA? Yes and no. Obviously there isn't a story without someone doing something dumb, but I think Jon's situation and Sam's situation are a little different. Jon was an idiot, yes, but he (and everyone else around him) were forced to go in completely blind. He had no idea what he was doing and didn't have any warnings or help at all except from his creepy boss with ulterior motives.
Sam also went in blind, but he was warned several times by several people including the eldritch computer to stop and turn around. He could have avoided this if he just returned Alice's calls or looked at her messages.
But nooooo he had to poke around with his little crushy crush and get himself thrown into a portal to what we can only assume is the TMA universe. Serves him right.
#i have a lot of feelings about this if you couldn't tell#sam you little idiot#in many ways i get it#both from a personal standpoint AND from a writer's standpoint#he thought alice was being overbearing and blah blah blah i've said this before#i personally also hate overbearing people who helecopter me#BUT#there are a lot of moments where even i would have listened to alice's warnings#sam is a cave explorer in this scenario tbh#and he just got himself stuck in a tiny hole underground#because he didn't listen when someone more experienced said “dont be stupid”#its not a great analogy but its all ive got because youtube loves to show me that stuff apparently#👎#anyways i had more thoughts but ive ranted enough#im gonna stop yapping now#the magnus protocol#tmagp ep 30#tmagp spoilers#tmagp#jonathan sims#tmagp sam i still forgot his last name#alice dyer#celia ripley#the tags always give me the characters last names idk why i cant find sam's </3#to the person who gave me his name i owe you my life#samama khalid
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Lowkey wanna write a Sebskully fic that is just the Diasomnia fam realizing Sebek has been spending a lot of time over at Ramshackle with Skully instead of their own dorm. Lilia being the absolute troll (and dad) he is suggests they want privacy, and has to imply maybe they're doing the good old horizontal tango and since Sebek is typically so loud they're doing it over at Ramshackle for privacy so a whole dorm doesn't know they're fuckin. (Give me old man Lilia being "well he is at that age you know.") At first everyone is "oh makes sense," then with horror Malleus realizes no wait Yuu/the prefect is there and being bothered. Cue one very awkward lunch conversation of them trying to figure out if Sebek is doing uncouth things at Ramshackle and disturbing Yuu. Malleus says he will make Sebek pay for any damage done to Skully's property, poor Yuu has to come right out and ask if they think Sebskully are having sex upstairs and laughs at everyone.
Turns out the two idiots are actually very good house guests and spend most of their time curled up on one of the couches next to the fireplace in the guest room reading and being quiet, just enjoying each other's company. The degree of cuddling varies because Skully is actually a restless/fidgety person so he'll just be in whatever position he finds comfortable, sometimes you'll find him sitting upside down on the couch instead of like a gentleman. Either way Yuu just points and is, "Yeah no you can't have them. Their date nights will remain here." Every time Sebek comes over Skully makes lots of snacks and Yuu is not giving up on that toffee, butterscotch, and pumpkiny goodness. Hey, they like snacks okay?
#sebskully#sebeskully#twisted wonderland#idk which is the proper ship tag anymore have both#part of this is just me wanting to yeet out that my nerds will yap together but also enjoy quiet reading time together#lilia is just having the time of his life this is so awkward#lilia as a parent who is open to answering and teaching his kids about sex so they're safe#i also just wanted to yeet out fidgety/restless sitter skully#is this ghost skully or 1st year with everyone skully au idk but here you go#adding in yuu likes any opprotunity for food like any high schooler would
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jegulus antis are soo negative all the time please guys where's your whimsy!!
#dont actually respond to this i dont want to talk to them#theyre always so mean it makes me want to cry😞#i mean this in the sense that theyre just constantly posting about it like guys why are you filling your life with negativity#i could never i want to feel the most amount of joy possible#jess yaps。*♡#jegulus#marauders era#starchaser
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