#but I'm really trying to shake it

[momointhetardis]

ugh so I'm on break for the summer but the car is fucked up again so I'm probably not going to be able to to go out much over the break, so so much for doing art markets this summer. trying not to be too bummed about my plans though so I'm trying to switch things up.

I was really looking forward to being able to get away from the house a little bit bc cabin fever, but I think I'm just going to at least read some books that I've been meaning to get to and maybe try to design some stickers to sell in illustrator or something like that since I'm still able to use it through the school over the summer.

will probably reread through dungeon meshi as well, I'd really like to try making some art for it but I've been torn about where to start.

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

[numbuh424]

The unstoppable, mighty hurricane and the immovable, cold, hard truth.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[sealrock]

paris can emote sometimes.

[syn0vial]

most relatable Boba Fett Moment™ in the expanded universe is when he very calmly and curtly walks away from what should be a highly emotional conversation (much to the annoyance and disgust of the person he's speaking to), locks himself in a washroom, then proceeds to have debilitating panic attack for several minutes before standing up, composing himself, and walking out in the exact same unruffled manner like nothing happened :^)

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've gotta admit, the take that Ed and Stede are "running away" from their problems at the end of s2 absolutely baffles me.

The thesis statement of this show, as we know, is "a lot of the things we are taught about being a man are wrong." Harmful ideas of what it means to be a man are at the core of Ed and Stede's issues with themselves: Stede struggle to feel like as much of a man despite loving softer things, Ed's feeling forced into a hyper-masculine caricature of himself. These are the core problems at the heart of these characters, obviously there's more to it but when you boil it down that's what we're working with. This is why Stede's trying to live up the ideal pirate image in s2e7 is important; he's getting a taste of what he thought he wanted so he can choose to leave it behind for what's really important. Ed, too, is still struggling at the end of the season with figuring out who Ed is, once he can break free from the Blackbeard persona.

What would be solved by sailing away, planning to continue as pirates at the end of s2? How would that be addressing their problems or helping them live more authentically? Ed has wanted to leave piracy since we met him, and yes, Stede enjoys piracy, but the idea that piracy is the true and right end-state for him is a very basic reading of the text I think.

Ed and Stede making the decision to try building a life together in their new shack isn't running away from their problems - it's Stede prioritizing Ed over a life of piracy, because piracy isn't what he wanted in the first place. He wanted to be a part of something, he wanted to marry for love, he wanted to be appreciated for who he is. It's Ed finally realizing in the finale that he can use violence as a tool to protect the people he loves, but he's also allowed to step away from it. Will the inn idea work out? Maybe. Maybe not. Who cares? It's not the inn that's important, really, it's that they're both choosing to commit to each other and taking this step towards living more authentically.

We already know exactly what "running away from their problems" would look like, and it's the plan Ed proposed in s1e9. He wanted to run away to China so their old lives could be "gone, dead, never were." Ed just wanted to forget about his past, and Stede was riddled with guilt - wherever they go, there they are. The difference between that plan at the end of s1 and Ed and Stede's new plan at the end of the s2 is, first of all, they're both all in and they know it, and, secondly, they're both getting a lot better at meeting themselves where they're at.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Like I love Piers. I do. But it will forever erk me on how he just. Pushes so much on Marnie. I don't think it's malicious by any means, it's clear he adores her. But again, the " team yell situation would've been out of control if it wasn't for her" as if he's not the adult there. Or the " I'm not much of a gym leader, so I want my sister to take over for me", despite her interests being. Not that atm.

And I don't exactly hate these flaws for Piers. I think they're really interesting! But both the game and masters kinda don't do anything with it. At least masters goes " yeah, my sister wants to be champion, so I'm still gonna be a gym leader for now and let her do her own thing " but it's still banking on the fact Marnie will eventually become the gym leader in her place. Like he doesn't mean to do this, but he's putting so much pressure on the girl. Him and team yell! And I don't think that's fair! But nah, they still have a good relationship - and I want them to! But I also want them to address this. I think their entire situation is just messy, and pokemon isn't exactly showing that.

I do think it's interesting, according to Marnie, she feels like the reason her and Piers don't argue is because Piers is holding back on her. And that she would want that sibling squabble. Like! God that's so interesting! And kinda sad! To know your older brother is holding back emotions for your sake! There's so much you could do with these two I swear, and yet! We don't get much!

[another-clive-blog]

HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS

LAYTON USES TU FOR FUTURE LUKE BUT SWITCHES TO VOUS THE SECOND CLIVE'S IDENTITY IS REVEALED.

Tu and vous both mean you but Tu implies closeness : in the entirety of Unwound Future, Layton only ever uses Tu with Flora, the Lukes and Claire

[nellasbookplanet]

Do I actually think Imogen is going to turn on the party? No. I don't think it’s any more likely to happen than I did Fjord releasing Uk’otoa, or Caleb returning to Trent and the Vollstruckers.

Given the nature of the game, any character turning fully dark is unlikely, seeing as it would take them away from the party for a time or potentially even turn them into an npc, replaced by a new pc. So far the only time we've gotten close to seeing something like it happen was Yasha siding with Obann, which could only happen specifically because Ashley was gone from the table for a long time (it was also the product of mind control, not an active choice to turn dark, and as such still doesn’t really count as a pc turning on the party in my eyes).

But the possibility is there. The seeds planted. Travis has talked about how, after he threw the falchion away, he briefly considered having Fjord leave the party and retun to the coast and Uk’otoa. Liam has mentioned that, early on, Caleb returning to work for Trent was a very real possibilty. It can happen, if the players and narrative are open to it.

And now, canonically, Imogen is desperately and understandably searching for a reason not to have to fight her own mother. She is, however briefly, questioning whether the Ruby Vanguard might have a just cause. Much as she hates it, she also feels the allure of the power Ruidus gives her. Her closest ally is someone who has repeatedly assured she will stand by her no matter what she chooses, even after she voiced the possibility of letting Predathos get out. None of these parts of Imogen are evil, and all of them are understandable and deeply rooted in pain and ostracization, but they could very easily be turned into justification, were she pushed enough.

The seeds are planted. Again, I don’t think it will happen (she seems firmly against the evil plan when reminded of how evil it is), but there’s certainly nothing strange or hateful about engaging with and being interested in the darker possibilities as presented in canon. It isn't character hate to acknowledge that Imogen has the potential to go dark, much as Fjord and Caleb and Yasha. To me, it’s what makes her character interesting. I want to see her clash with the party, whether because she’s desperate to save her own mother or because she’s high off the power of Ruidus and lured in. I want to see Laudna have to choose between the world and her promise to stand by Imogen no matter what. I want to see the fallout, the slow healing and redemption and coming to terms with bad choices. I eat that shit up, and if it doesn’t happen in canon I'll probably go read some fic about it to get my fix.

[the-casbah-way]

i’m assuming jamie was written out for real-world logistical reasons but i don’t think he could or should have come back anyway. when the attack dog goes rabid and gnaws through his own fucking leash there's nothing much anyone can do but stand there and watch. you can train a dog to bite for you but once they've got enough of a taste for blood they're going to stop giving a shit about who they've got between their teeth so long as there's something to tear into. maybe malcolm never had jamie on a leash in the first place. maybe jamie didn't bite because malcolm asked him to. maybe he just liked the taste of blood. malcolm hired a loyal dog and got what he paid for because at the end of the day jamie stayed so loyal that it became the death of him. loyal to the party. not malcolm

[galoogamelady]

Hey, might be a bit of an odd question. Have you had a chance to dive into Starfield? Will there be a Buttons IN SPAAACCCCEEE!?

I'll be honest, I've seen a bit of Starfield (Cam bought it) and I'm not impressed. Can't say I've expected anything different either unfortunately, with how Bethesda has been conducting business lately. I don't feel any particular way about it and I doubt I'll be playing it anytime soon.

[raayllum]

Now, don't get me wrong, by all accounts, Rayla isn't a particularly 'good' assassin. She fails to follow mission orders when she's actually given them (1x01, 1x02) and outright defies them (1x03). A lot of this is because of her own sense of morality and compassion, which is exactly what Runaan criticizes her for and what Ethari worried about.

R: Your heart isn't hard enough to do whatever it takes.

E: I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin, so I know you did not betray them out of malice.

However...

There is still a reason that Runaan thought she would be a good assassin. Part of that is because he's a lot like Claudia, his love for his family obscuring a more objective reality. The other part is that, other than her 'too soft' heart, Rayla has what she needs to be an assassin in terms of the skill set (her blades were at Marcos' throat) and because she doesn't always listen to said 'soft heart'. In fact, she often tries very very hard not to (see a lot of early S1 in particular).

“Of course. For…” she chewed her lip and counted on her fingers. “Hrm, maybe fifteen years now. Anyway, you can call me Redfeather.” [...] Rayla felt her heart turn soft in her chest in just the way she hated. She wanted to know more, had to know more. “What did you do?”

Now, we see that in S4 Rayla is a lot better at well, not listening to that soft squishy part of herself, and that Soren was less good at appealing to her about it than Ezran. Some of this is probably because he pivoted away from the dragon and went after it from an identity standpoint — which, not only does Rayla have a pretty malleable sense of self in her own head, she does not believe that any part of whatever identity is there is particularly good / does not think she's a 'Good' person quote unquote — but this was absolutely doomed to fail post-return. Spending two years alone, trying to singularly hunt down a man and murder him, and knowing all the while that you hurt the people you love the most and have nothing to show for it... Yeah, no one's gonna be in the best head space for that, or be overly inclined to trust their own judgement or capacity to save people.

Like most characters in the show, Rayla struggles with always knowing what the right thing to do is, and what served her well in the past — trusting her gut, taking on things alone, laying herself down in the line of fire, removing her hesitation, and going to save Phyrrah in 2x07 — may not always serve her well in every scenario. She thought she was right to do all the same things when she went after Viren, didn't she? So she errs on the side of inaction, of not wanting to make another mistake by acting with her heart rather her head (again), and inadvertently waltzes into another mistake (Soren being captured and going missing).

Rayla will do the right thing, and hate herself for it, and will stubbornly ignore the signs screaming at her when she isn't doing the right thing (and she'll hate herself for that, too.)

[ Sidenote: bonus post about how Arc 2 increasingly treats more and more character traits and decisions as circumstantial rather than inherently good or bad ]

As she says to Ezran:

R: I let him go. I don't know why. E: Because you felt for him. R: But he was a human — my enemy! E: Yeah, but then you saw he was scared. And you knew he was a person, just like you. R: That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do.

I think we can read this in two ways. The first is that to be an assassin, you have to be able to dehumanize others on a fundamental level because you're 1) murdering strangers 2) on someone else's orders. Although Runaan preaches about balance in Bloodmoon Huntress (when you kill someone, you remove their capacity for love and change) we have all of Arc 1 talking about why that mindset is flawed and isn't good enough, especially because it culminates in Harrow's death when he still had plenty of things to love, like his children, and so much he wanted to change, and it would've led to Ezran's death as well. This is one of the reasons why assassination and dark magic, conceptually, often go hand in hand for the characters and their explorations of personhood and the right thing to do, etc etc.

The second way is that Rayla, by ignoring her own wants and personhood — her own heart — is also dehumanizing herself. It shouldn't matter that she's a person with wants and weaknesses; she had a job to do. We see this reflected in a lot of her behaviour ("Don't worry about my hand. The egg is all that matters now" —> "It's agonizing. But I know our mission comes first: the world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused") and in Runaan's / Moonshadow elves infamous "I am already dead" thing.

(There is also the factor that, because her and Callum mutually informed the construction of each other's new senses of identity to an absurd degree, if Callum doesn't want her then she doesn't know / doesn't have a firm footing on who she is anymore without him, but that's a codependent post for another day.)

All of this is a very long winded way of saying there, much like Viren and Claudia, are two consistently contradicting aspects to Rayla's personality that she is catapulting between, and the Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla are, as of S5, still equal parts of her as she finds her way. Both have good and bad qualities of her, even if the Assassin Rayla side is — let's say more negative — and far more worrisome given what Callum has asked her to do if he is possessed again, and how it seems like S6 will be going full steam ahead in exploring that plotline.

In a lot of ways, Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla have the exact same set of traits — selfless, protective, strong, willing to sever close bonds or divert from the mission to do the Right Thing — but instead describe the circumstances she's making those choices in. Protector Rayla is the one who stands against Runaan on the battlements; Assassin Rayla is the one who refuses to prioritize her parents even when she absolutely could (or at least, more than she is).

Assassin Rayla causes her to forget her own needs and put the world above everything else. Assassin Rayla causes her to ignore other people's needs, either not helping them (although iirc 4x05 is the only real example of it) or by leaving / keeping secrets.

The part of her we don't want her to listen to, the part she listens to when she's Scared — the one that walks away from the drake in 4x05, that tries to walk away in 1x09, and what led to her leaving, in a lot of ways, in TTM (both out of love, trauma, and a desperate need for control) — and how S4 reaffirms those qualities is precisely what may lead her to hurting Callum (again) in S6.

Because Callum is asking her to become an Assassin, Aaravos marks her as a failed one, and Rayla still — deep down — wants to ultimately be a Protector. We'll just have to see what side she answers to (and why).

More thoughts on Rayla, identity, and murder to follow lmao

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[essektheylyss]

I'm not gonna put this on the other post cuz I don't really want it rebloggable but I do want to specify that like, yes I was being dramatic about Essek in terms of affect, but every part of that post is also quite literally a description of my experience with a creative field that is pretty centralized around a few locations and that has made it stringently difficult to enter and stay in the field. There are obviously monumentally different aspects around those circumstances, but like... look I left Los Angeles literally two weeks after the c2 finale with a very clear understanding that once I did, I was not going back, and that because of that, my career would never look like I'd wanted it to in any capacity, and in fact it was likely that it meant I would not work in the field I'd trained for ever again, and also knew it was the only choice that made sense if I wanted to, like, have a life. And I do! And it's great! And it still makes me very upset to think about for many reasons! So you can see why I have a lot of feelings about the whole situation.

[waitineedaname]

Do u have any transfemme Jiang Cheng headcanons you’re willing to share 🥺 every time you bring it up it makes me unreasonably happy so I would love to hear more about it 🫶🫶

AHHHH no really major headcanons, it's just something I like to rotate in my mind a lot! transfemme jiang cheng is. so special to me. I guess I have a few thoughts

I think a big part of Jiang Cheng's relationship to gender comes from Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan being the models of masculinity and femininity growing up. Jiang Cheng already relates a Lot to Yu Ziyuan, and I think if JC is transfemme, it's a big deal to her that Yu Ziyuan wields so much power. She's an incredible cultivator, a fierce fighter, and generally is a force to be reckoned with. At the same time, she's still a woman living in a misogynistic society. YZY would probably make a better sect leader than JFM, but she's a woman and his wife, and therefore he gets the final say in things

This in turn I think affects Jiang Cheng's feelings about gender and being sect leader. Jiang Cheng has a tendency to prioritize sect concerns > personal desires, and I think in this situation, masculinity is seen as a tool. Even if she knows privately that she is a woman, she would not be public about it because she's already in a precarious position being such a young sect leader. She needs all the respect she can get when rebuilding the Jiang sect, so she stays in the closet by choice. She might eventually come out years and years later, once the Jiang sect is stable and she knows she's not going to get fucked over, but that's really not her first priority

I do think she tells her siblings, though. Jiang Yanli is probably the first person she tells, and she's endlessly supportive. Wei Wuxian is kind of clueless about this sort of thing (see: not realizing he liked men until he got resurrected into the body of a gay man) but he loves Jiang Cheng so he'd be supportive, especially if he learned when they were both still kids. Of course, this makes the tragedy of Jiang Cheng losing everyone even worse. After her siblings died, there was no one who knew who she really was. Thank god for resurrections, huh? fucking hell

in a modern au, I think being a woman would fix her. She would be able to come out without all the other bullshit to worry about, and I think it would be very healing for her. I've known a number of people to go on estrogen who said the effects were more emotional than physical, and I think HRT would be so good for her. I just need Jiang Cheng to be happy goddammit. has she not been through enough

that got long. I guess I had more thoughts than I expected lsdkjflksdjf I also have a snippet from a modern au wip that I don't know if I'll ever continue/finish, but I'll put it under a read more bc I find it funny. I think Wen Qing should crack Jiang Cheng's egg, as a treat <3

Wen Qing knew Jiang Cheng too well. It was something he both loved and hated. There were very few people outside his family that could see through his blustering and read him for who he was, and Wen Qing was one of them. Hell, she was better at it than his own brother.

She didn't hesitate to call him on it either. He wouldn't be forgetting the way she'd looked at him after he introduced her to his parents and told him this explains a lot about you. Rude. Correct, but rude.

Because she knew him so well, she knew the best times to drop these bombs on him. Exposing him when he was in the wrong mood might make his temper flare, or it might make him curl into an insecure ball. Neither were reactions he liked having around her.

Wen Qing knew the best time to drop revelations on him was when he was happy and as close to relaxed as he could get, which is of course why she apparently decided the best time to bring up this particular bombshell was when he was floating in postcoital bliss.

“I'm going to tell you something,” Wen Qing said, her ankle still hooked gently around his calf. “You can't freak out about it.”

Jiang Cheng paused in the middle of pressing lazy kisses to her temple, heart rate immediately spiking. “Now?” he said, incredulous and a little whiny. 

“It's not a bad thing,” she reassured him, gently scratching his scalp. It relaxed him like a charm, though he was still suspicious. “Do you promise to listen?”

“Do I have much of a choice?” he asked, propping himself up on her chest. Her lips quirked in a smile as she looked down at him.

“I think you're a woman,” she said, direct and matter-of-fact.

Jiang Cheng jolted upright so hard he slammed his head into the headboard. Wen Qing frowned and sat up as he rolled off her. “You're going to give yourself a concussion,” she said, accusatory.

“You're insane!” Jiang Cheng said, attempting to sit upright without making his head swim. Wen Qing huffed and pushed him down with a firm hand to his chest. He could throw her off if he wanted to, but, well, he didn't want to. He rather liked it when she pushed him around and climbed on top of him like she was right now, pinning him in place and preventing him from running away from the conversation.