#but I'm feeling optimistic
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// Hello everyone! The time has finally come once again: I’m done with the semester and free from exams!
I’ll be gradually returning to activity here as well as resuming work on threads. My efforts are going to be divided between a variety of hobbies besides writing that I've also been neglecting, as well as working on some life habits, so this might be a steady but slow improvement. That being said I expect that the sheer stress that's been lifted from my shoulders is going to make a substantial difference in my ability to do things here.
I've mentioned before that I wanted to review my list of mutuals, and that's still the intention, but before taking that measure I want to get a better understanding of what my energy and mood for RP is right now. I want to test how comfortable I am in this blog and the dash without the outside influence of studying impacting my experience.
I hope you're all doing okay, and if not, I hope your next days are brighter :]
#ooc#I am so happy and relieved to be done with it#the massive contrast between me today VS me a couple of days ago in terms of mood and behavior#tells me that I've still got a lot to improve in terms of how I handle studies and other things#but we're working on it and that's what matters. I'm getting to understand myself better#and learning strategies to fight my bad tendencies and difficulties#anyways I'm excited to pick this blog up again. Summer heat does funky things to my focus so I have to look out for that#but I'm feeling optimistic#as for reviewing my mutuals list I want to give priority to those who actively show interest in what I do#and have gone out of their way to keep in touch keep plots going etc#which I think I've already been doing to be fair#nothing wrong with anyone who hasn't of course. We all have our stuff going on and I understand that#part of the reason for the mutual cleanup is also having more energy to be proactive myself. Approach those who haven't been able to
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How did your meeting go with the surgeons?
it was memorable
#sci speaks#the sci files#im glad i've done all the research. i feel okay. i feel safe and confident. and the doctors have all been really kind and helpful.#lots of good vibes. and they're moving me through the system so quickly. i'm glad it'll be dealt with so soon.#feels so crazy that this has been going on. right under my skin. and it's all explained now and i feel so much more in control.#i know whats going on!! with my funky body!! no more unanswered questions!!#i feel really good these days. optimistic. i feel like i understand myself a lot more and it means i'm better to myself.#but you'll all have to be patient with me. please be patient with me like i've learnt to be patient with myself.
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Superbat parenting babies would be a breeze in my humble opinion. Bruce's medically well-versed enough and immune to even enhanced interrogation levels of sleeplessness, and loves kids and would probably be happy reading them stories to sleep every night.
And Clark could always tell if the kid swallowed fridge magnets/batteries/something else. Also, tell me which baby wouldn't enjoy Clark's presence and calmness. They'd be like little hamsters cajoled by the steadiness of his hold.
#I think Clark has demonstrated pretty great parenting and he's also immensely kind while balancing out certain rules#And toddlers would beg to be flown around.#maybe this is too optimistic#considering that B's track record with kids isn't perfect#but I genuinely believe they have a decent shot#I feel like the gentleness and kindness of Thomas from Batman Begins is kind of a good example of what I'd picture a calmer Bruce's mentall#stable parenting to be like#batman#superman#superbat#clark kent#bruce wayne#and I'm also willfully ignoring some stuff/chalking it up to questionable writing/can't be bothered to make sense of everything that's cano
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I've had Ludovicas girlfriend on the brain for months and finally sketched her out. I see her as the opposite to machete in that she has dark colours and softer shapes. Her ears and facefur kinda blend together and she gets big soft browneyes..
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#you've had Ludovica's girlfriend stuck in your brain for months??#oh no now I feel kind of bad about being so vague and noncommittal about her design and personality and everything#I should've made up my mind ages ago#I like her expression here#she looks like a calm and quiet but no nonsense type of lady#at least to me I mean#I'd love to make her uniformly black/dark grey#but I know from experience that it would make her facial details and expressions hard to see#it's entirely possible to make it work but it takes some extra effort#adding even a small focal point (some kind of marking or lighter eyes for example) to anchor the viewer's attention helps a lot#I'm rambling sorry#I think about her often but keep going in circles#but the same thing happened with Ludovica and her design so I'm optimistic that this one will sort itself out eventually as well#I'm flattered ypu find her interesting! I promise I'm working on it#gift art#featherfrond#own characters
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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"RIP to KaiShin shippers" this
"My sincerest condolences to the KaiShin nation" that
FOOLS! You think it will stop us or prevent us from shipping KaiShin?
I won't lie, the revelation hit us badly but we will rise like the phoenix, stronger than ever, and keep shipping them and making and enjoying content about them, no matter what movie 27 revealed.
The KaiShin nation will go on!
#detective conan#dcmk#dcmk spoilers#kaishin#kudou shinichi#kaitou kid#kuroba kaito#detective conan spoilers#movie 27#I'm trying to be optimistic because honestly those spoilers are freaking me out haha#of course I think some people will stop shipping them#maybe even delete their content#I understand#I can't tell it makes me happy but I understand#I won't force these people if shipping kaishin make them feel bad#but it's important than other fans will keep shipping and making content#the kaishin side of the fandom must not disappear
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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I am observing the (g)rouse O-O and your sword. Pretty...
A good fellow to be sure, what a strapping gentlewoman- in such a beautiful outfit! The cheese sword may not be yours but I have had the honour of witnessing something better today: a sword with style ( ´◡‿◡`)
#i-is that your sword#do you have an eat cheese ot die sword#this is incredible#pretty loopies
Alas no, @ratstuckinamarble.... Tod Cutler makes AMAZING blades, and they're priced appropriately, so my dreams of owning one of his bollock daggers is as yet just that- a dream ;_;
THIS is my sword, Goodfellow!
we got all gussied up for a party and she's looking Fabulous (as always)
also look at this ROUSE
rouse -> r o u n d g r o u s e
#all gussied up for a party indeed you'd fit right in at the medieval market I'll be going to this sunday!#hopefully that is; if my health will allow it#but I'm feeling optimistic#okay but back to Goodfellow#I love those leaves and the braided belts on the sheath#the hilt looks so comfortable to hold#good pommel#wonderful blade#lovely lovely sword
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Before and after watching The Bear Season 3
#it's so weird feeling optimistic and over it at the same time#i am still so interested in reading all the meta but-#the girl with stars in her eyes is staring into a black hole#and hoping for light that seems well out of reach#my reasons for watching this show weren't solely shipping based but it hinged a great deal upon#sydney and carmy's dynamic#and everything about their connection right now and what i thought i knew seems so warped and bleak#i'm only going to rewatch this season one more time#hopefully see some things i didn't see before#and put it to rest before it further compromises my mental state#sydcarmy#the bear season 3#the bear fx
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Been awhile, crocodile 🐊 In all honesty, I was feeling kind of stressed about character design issues I was having, so for awhile I just put all that stuff aside and focused on understanding anatomy better. Also studied a lot of Milt Kahl animation frames for gesture and simple shapes in character design. I actually had a big grin on my face when I finished these tonight instead of feeling disappointed-- the proportions and shapes feel better, and the hair is more natural in shape and greasy like I always wanted it to be, but kept struggling to draw.
#BSTproject#Jonathan Crane#character design#RA fanstuffs#apologies for not posting much the past few months#kept trying to draw and felt so frustrated with the anatomy knowledge gaps#it's still a work in progress but I'm feeling more optimistic about reaching my goals now#the important thing to remember is not to quit when you reach your limit (even if it feels awful)-- instead take that opportunity to grow.
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hello everyone there's snow where i live (freaking finally) so i'm coming back from the dead with winter pony art
it's,, probably a little generic lol, but i still think it's cute! my process here was also different than usual (even though it might be hard to tell by the end result?), i'm trying out new things and i think i'm onto something
happy late new year, hopefully i'll start posting more haha
#i also have two long textposts in my drafts !#(and i'm actually almost there!)#so i'm optimistic :)#i also have many drawing ideas#bnha#class 1b#tikto's art#pony tsunotori#tsunotori pony#does it even snow where ua is?? i think there were some scenes in the show whete it did but i'm really not sure lmao#i just wanted to use my swag new brush to draw a cute horse enjoying what i'm also enjoying rn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#love it when winter feels like winter
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HEy Vat7k fandom, you guys have any Nuru or Yong centric fics? I love Yong to bits, he's always been my fav from the entire story but it's either he's handled as a side character or baby-ified. I've seen other media writing 12 year olds way better than how he's often interpreted (from what I've seen/read so far anyways).
Nuru, I haven't even seen any fics where she isn't just. Kinda there. So please if you have any, feel free to share it! I would love to read about these characters specifically
#vat7k#varian and the seven kingdoms#pls guys I'm so hungry for content about them#on that note because I feel like rambling. Here are some 12 year olds I loved the writing of in other shows:#Molly Blyndeff and her friends from epithet erased#All the kiddads from dungeons and daddies (LET 12 YEAR OLDS HAVE PANIC ATTACKS AND TRAUMA IF THE STORY DICTATES SO.)#Gin from your turn to die (optimistic. adorable and still extremely emotionally mature and lots of help? In an adult environment? yes pleas#Casey and Lunella from moongirl (I think they're like 12? idk)#THE PINE TWINS FROM GRAVITY FALLS. COME ON.
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the mourn watch have a plaque with their 'A home in life, a berth in death, a house of many mansions' motto on the wall like a fucking live laugh love sign 😭😭😭
#'optimistic plaque' lmao#sorry to be necropolisposting like this but. I'm so relieved -- I'm GIDDY to find I genuinely love this game with my whole chest#I'm not even done with act 1 and I can already say that this is my second favourite dragon age game ever#(da2 is my nr 1 most favourite game of all time so it's no shame on veilguard if it doesn't overtake it haha. it's wild#that I feel that it even potentially *could* in the first place though)#I have trained for over a decade in the dojo of being right about da2. I'm not afraid to love a game flaws and all even in controversy#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#the mourn watch#a watcher's work is never done#also what a pleasing rhythm in that phrase. I've just been repeating 'a house of many mansions' to myself for an hour
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Called a medic?
#fanart#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 medic#overwatch 2#ow2#ow2 mercy#mercy#i literally thought i'm going to die last week#i've been to another city and got sick bad#and right after it me and my parents moved to another city#school starts in a few days...#but i feel optimistic and hope everything's going to be alr#soniianeak
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i am Exhausted but i got an hour or two free finally so hello! what have i missed the past few days
#i have been so tired and busy#i am still tired. but not busy right now#but i do feel like i'm gonna fall asleep so maybe 2 hours is optimistic of me#fredspeaks
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Quick life update -
Some good news and bad news. Starting with the good, I got a new job (yay!). It's only part-time hours but a split shift, so it will still keep me pretty busy. Plus I have a lot of paperwork and training to do before I officially start (on December 2nd!), and then I'll have an adjustment period before I feel comfortable. The bad news, my dad is having a lot of medical issues right now and has been in and out of the hospital. No idea what the cause of everything is, he has upcoming tests that will hopefully finally clear up the confusion, but we did recently find out that he broke his back in September and somehow no one noticed until now, so... that sure is something! Anyway, the reason why I'm sharing - writing has been slow. For reasons stated above... and will likely continue to be slow... for the next upcoming weeks. There will definitely be a Nobody Feels Like You update before the new year, but I'm not sure when. Hopefully, after I settle into my new job, and those medical tests previously mentioned come back with some explanation for what's going on with my dad, I'll be able to focus more on writing. Thank you all for your continued support and understanding in the meantime. <3
#so much for doing nanowrimo this year lol#but I'm honestly feeling pretty okay and optimistic rn :) just busy#lovesick writing#nobody feels like you fic#next chapter is 5K long so far
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