#but I’ve lost myself entirely

[skinreflectsthesun]

I feel like people don’t tell you exactly how much your life will change after you have kids. I think they assume that you know this but I honestly thought that my relationships, friendships, my personality, my self in general would all stay the same and I’d just have this little guy with me too, but that’s really just not the case? And I was not ready for that. Not at all.

[bondagebimbo]

heads up: (TW blood/blood loss mention from accidental injury in post and tags)

probs not gonna stream tonight because I feel so dead and I actually just physically hurt myself really fucking badly, not purposely—don’t think I did this intentionally, and have to clean up a giant bloody fucking mess now so I’m just 🫠 ugh. I hate being inconvenienced with shit like this due to my own fucking issues with my coordination and a lack of reaction time because I feel weird right now in general and I’m struggling to feel like an actual person mentally so like … it definitely fucked me up today when I was distracted and unfocused and managed to hurt myself.

I’ll see how I feel tomorrow night after dealing all this, but if I do stream tomorrow then it’ll likely start around 7pm (east coast US time) as that’s the most common time I’ve been recommended. a post will be made beforehand on whether I plan to or not to, along with the twitch link.

but right now I just REALLY need to clean up this fucking mess and lay down. I got myself BAD and I think I need to try and nap after I clean this up because fucking hell, it hurt, and it made me feel sick at the same time so 🙃

[teenageukulelescreamo]

Pros: for the first time in four incredibly long years, I have my interests back! I can hyper fixate on things again! I can’t believe I’m having my first hyper fixation in FOUR YEARS again!

Cons: why did it have to be monster hunter, a notoriously difficult series of video games, why am I making dinner at 2:30 am.

[spacespore]

HI TUMBLRR it’s me

[mollysails]

and if i went crazy and started translating and adapting the entirety of the beetlejuice musical to spanish, with changes to the jokes that would make sense within the pop culture…

what then

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

I don’t think CaitVi is “be nice to your oppressor, make them feel good about themself and everything will change and be okay”

I think it’s more like “be cordial to your ally/ be kind and understanding to a victim, work to see eye to eye and progress is a better possibility with civility and solidarity”

[f1-stuff]

how do you cope with this carlos-hate between the lines here on tumblr? btw love following you for your good vibes and funny tags

Hello, sweet anon ❤️

Tbh some days are harder than others! I like to think I’ve gotten a lot better at simply not logging on when I expect there to be those sorts of posts - also making sure that the blogs I follow are the only ones I wanna see on my tl. Sometimes, like earlier today, I just channel my energy into making gifs and only come on tumblr to post those and leave lol

Obviously, I still see stuff if I go looking in his tag or something slips thru the cracks, and some days I write out a whole rant and then delete it (it can be v therapeutic just to type your feelings, even if you never post it). Also having someone/people who I can talk to about it can be pretty helpful. Or even revisiting a Carlos thing that makes you smile! I’ll sometimes just go thru his tag on my blog and inevitably something silly he did will make me laugh and I feel (mostly) better 😂❤️

Other than that, I think just recognizing that everyone’s opinions are just that - opinions! Pro sports is one of the areas in life that people can be the most opinionated/vocal/vitriolic about online but it’s bc it inspires such passion in people. Personally, I like to channel my passion for f1 in positive ways - it makes me a happier person and it’s the whole ‘be the change you want to see’ in the fandom philosophy haha

I hope some of this is helpful ❤️ you can always come to me if you’re needing someone to talk to or wanna just toss something in my inbox to take your mind off of things!

[mabelsguidetolife]

I need to try to eat larger portions (and more frequently) but when i try to i feel nauseous afterwards……

[apathyfairy]

if i read through my old notes or my old posts from like 3 years ago i’m like. who is that like that person is dead. who even am i anymore like i have lost all sense of self at this point

[teethbomb]

alador blight fan mood board

[lesbiansupersons]

Was there a particular reason you decided against posting supersons publically anymore? (Ex. Were you getting hate or something of the sort,) if this is repetitive or makes you uncomfortable feel free to ignore this or answer it privately! But the curiosity has been killing me

This is like a year old (sorry lol) but the reason I stopped is because the fandom has a problem with sexualizing kids and overall proshippers being in the fandom.

I got super uncomfortable so I just left and took my art with me lol, now i just only talk about them with close friends in private bc I can’t trust y’all /lh

[akkivee]

nobody asked but these are probably my favourite live looks hayama-san gave us lol

[titsthedamnseason]

my roommate cut my hair for me tonight and at first i was (secretly) sad because it is wayyyyy too short but then i realized. i literally just got the 1989 chop. like this was all meant to happen this way

[itsokbbygrl]

x

[chaoswithcausation]

huh, seeing posts about how fandom wiki is going bad has reminded me of my old acc on there… I kinda wanna look back at it to see—

*the friends I made and may never know again. the good times I had laughing and creating. the person I once was.*

[sweetteaswift]

i finally caved and bought a new pair of airpods so obviously the old ones will turn up any day now