#but I think they can be significant anyway

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[brain-depositary]

Hooo boy, I have a hypothesis that literally no one will like.

There is a proposed disorder called Developmental Trauma Disorder which can be caused by chronic and prolonged interpersonal during crucial developmental periods and can manifest similarly to this "late-diagnosed AuDHD" phenotype that is getting a lot of attention now.

Gender identity in humans is hammered out IIRC around two years of age, meaning that the average trans person in our society, even if everything else in their world is excellent, is not having a critical social and emotional needs met though their entire early development period. Which, when you think about it, wow! No wonder so many trans people have symptoms of this disorder!!!

However, DTD is not recognized and unlikely to be recognized anytime soon. Drawing a straight line between emotional neglect and trauma symptoms is real controversial, because it would mean we would have an obligation to fix something that's hard to define. The best we're probably going to get is a strong relationship between ACEs (averse childhood experiences) and all sorts of mental and physical health problems.

So, trans people are not only extremely likely to have this developmental trauma, but also one of the most psychiatrically observed populations there is, because of the aforementioned requirement/strong encouragement for psych treatment before gender treatment. The psychs notice these symptoms, but because DTD doesn't exist, all these people get shuffled through and labeled with significant autistic traits, even autism itself, because the criteria for that label meanwhile is expanding.

I keep hearing from autistic people that a lot of what we consider autism symptoms are really trauma responses because there are no autistic people in our society who are not at least signficantly neglected since birth. The same is true for trans people. That there are significant similarities in response to this adversity is unsurprising. It doesn't mean it's the same base cause.

Anyway, I await my tar and feathering.

something that should be taken with a grain of salt are the statistics talking about the high rates of mental illness + neurodivergence among trans people (ocd, bpd, adhd, autism, etc)

I see both sides of the political spectrum taking these studies at face value - conservatives say we're broken, and trans people try to come up with reasons why for example autism + gender dysphoria makes sense and why one of them feeds into another

at the end of the day you have to remember that we're the one category of people on this planet who are legally required to go see a psychiatrist in order to receive non-psychiatric medication and surgeries.

more trans people are in therapy by law than any other demographic of people, and as a result, this captures more comorbidities.

if I had to look at my own family & rates of mental illness?

mom, dad, 2 maternal aunts, maternal grandmother, paternal grandmother, sister, sibling, and me all have OCD.

7/9 of them are cishet, never been to therapy, never diagnosed. 2/9 are trans, required therapy for hormone treatment, and were diagnosed.

you don't have to do any math to just see that the resulting statistics end up intensely skewed.

and we can think back to how autism was virtually never diagnosed more than 50 years ago - ruling out any grandparents being included in statistics - and even my parents' generation (they're in their 60s now) wouldn't have been included either.

I don't think it's to anyone's benefit to accept these studies uncritically. a lot of these things are hereditary and far more prevalent in the overall population than people realize

[scintillyyy]

anyways. cliff notes version of my "connecting leslie's story in war games to the evils of child soldiers & utter hatred of batman/bruce as the root of the problem and violence in gotham" doesn't understand her

i mean everyone knows the obvious of. leslie would never intentionally cause harm to prove a point, but that is the big one, yes

but even within that. i do think the point of the big one is that you need to understand that leslie is an absolute dogmatic nonviolent pacifist and would absolutely disagree with the use of any sort of violence to teach someone their violence is bad. retribution and personal revenge is off the table for her & is to be condemned in others.

leslie fundamentally disagrees with *all* of their choices to be vigilantes & use of violence to solve problems, not just bruce, but even the kids. she doesn't necessarily see them as hapless victims to bruce's ultimate will of violence. she wants them all to choose the better, nonviolent path & wants to teach any vigilante the option of nonviolence is there. she would hold bruce responsible for his choice of violence yes, but she would also hold them all responsible for their participation. she also has never shown a significant issue with children being vigilantes--she's might not love it, but she's been fine enough with working with several children as robin with little qualm about their age--her argument isn't that children in particular shouldn't be vigilantes or that children are in special danger here, it's that nobody should be vigilantes and problems should always be solved nonviolently.

which is my next point--there is absolutely cruelty within leslie's pacifism for those who can't meet her standard of nonviolence. she does think cruel things about bruce for his choice to be batman. she would absolutely think cruel things about all of them in her attempt to push them to be better. this doesn't means she hates them personally however

this is because a lot of the cruelty comes from leslie's loving disappointment in those she cares about. she is essentially bruce's mom after his parents die--her anger at him is not borne out of hate for what he chooses to do, but love & disappointment in her feeling he should be choosing a better way (her way) and does not. she dislikes his choices, but never him--she loves him. and she's always trying to save him. the point is never to punish those who haven't yet learned, it's to continue to try and teach them better. she might be frustrated and be angry at batman and the choice to be batman, but she cannot hate bruce. the point is that one day maybe bruce will finally learn that he can choose to be everything she knows he can be.

leslie & steph should frankly get along like oil & water because leslie would absolutely be judgmental of steph even in her desire to save and care for steph, just as she is judgmental of bruce even as she loves him. she would be kind, yes, but leslie's commitment to nonviolent resolution no matter the circumstance would absolutely clash with steph's feelings that personal retribution is justified under certain circumstances would absolutely clash & neither would be willing to budge. like. batman chronicles #18 where leslie does everything in her power to save zsasz at all costs vs detective comics #796 where steph went in for the kill on zsasz to protect herself and batman and questioned why not kill him. think about it.

anyways war games boiling her pacifism down into "batman commits violence and gets kids hurt ergo he's bad & i think he should be punished" completely loses the nuance that is that leslie loves despite her disagreement! the power of her is that no matter how angry and disappointed she might get in someone she is still dogmatically committed to saving them. she objects to the violence criminals commit and would still go out of her way to save them despite what they might go on to do. she saved zsasz. she would save the joker if he were dying in from of her. her devotion to her ideals is commendable, but can also be a flaw that hurts those she loves due to her strict adherence. batman is a part of the problem. batman deserves to be saved, just as all others who commit violence do.

[mythalism]

i'm back in the building.

i'm still on my first playthrough, slogging through it but i think i realized what it is about this game that feels more like a chore than an actual gaming experience. i talked about the cinematics and like that's a whole thing i have beef with in the world where we have mocap and also just genuinely amazing technology for animation development but WHATEVERRR.

as a person who enjoys story games even without creating my oc, like red dead 2, the witcher series, the reason i find veilguard lacking is that rook is neither an every man character (ala hawke & shepherd 🩷) nor are they an empty enough canvas to fill in (ala hof, inq, tarnished in elden ring) it kinda feels that even as a player you have to suspend disbelief for your own character.

like for example in the witcher, all of geralt's choices cross over through three games and really you can dress him & comb him how you like but the choices are story related and you can still find satisfaction in them. same with red dead 2 and arthur where the game is more rigid storywise but still, you can unlock two endings depending on how you approach arthur's personality as a person.

and the crux of the issue is rook is not a person. they are in every way, a video game character. the infantile gameplay (left off from the mmo no doubt with no tactical view, quest summaries, limited "loot" boxes, no interaction with fauna, no actual crafting just upgrading) the juvenile writing / "storytelling" (telling fans to interpret the plot however they want, trick saying it's possible the evanuris aren't even all gone which renders the entire game pointless if we did all that and elgar'nan is in turkey getting new veneers fitted.) the fact that rook is basically woe. storyline be upon ye. (taash's identity being chosen for them ???, telling either low app, high app, or rom inq what to do w solas and yes the dialogue option of yay let's save him! also exists w low app inq?? which is to say to stop solas isn't the same as having low app but they didn't even let players choose that lol you can still change inq's mind)

like the whole game is an mmo without the multiplayer aspect. the storyline is loosey goosey because well most multiplayers are bc they go through rancid updates and additions (fallout 84 comes to mind specifically, and considering how badly that flopped idk how bioware saw the reception and went yay!!!!! lets do that!!!) and all your companions prefer to interact w each other than you because well. yeah. you're a player. you're not playing a character, you're basically playing yourself or at the very least a very conceptual idea of yourself in this fantasy realm.

anyway i have a nuke enroute to ea's HQ. that's all 🙂‍↕️

i just read this like an old man reading the morning paper, sipping coffee and nodding along like 🙂‍↕️ mhm mhm 🙂‍↕️ 🙂‍↕️

i completely agree with all of this and it really clicked for me how much the multiplayer bones of the game impacted the story and choice specifically. like obviously ive known about the multiplayer foundations for like 5 years and how it’s sooooo clear in the gameplay but this just made it click for me that it’s literally to blame for the story too… of course none of the choices are truly significant. multiplayer games fundamentally cannot have significant choice that affects the world because not everyone will make the same choice. the only MMO I’m super familiar with is ESO and when i think of the choices you’re allowed to make in that game versus what you’re allowed to do in veilguard…. yeah. they’re both shallow, and usually only cosmetic. it makes sense to me that the choice like minrathous vs treviso is pretty much just cosmetic, and then it takes content away instead of adding something new. the companion choices seem to really only manifest in some new banter? except for maybe emmrich? like it’s so clear that they had this multiplayer foundation, which is mutually exclusive with meaningful player choice, and then were told to build a single player RPG on top. it was literally an impossible ask.

also hard agree on everything you said about rook. i literally hate rook LMFAO they are so nothing - like a voice acted MMO character… i do want to play the game a second time but i want to play a veil jumper elf and genuinely the fact that my dalish elf character would have the dread wolf in her back pocket and just never ask him a single fucking question on anything that she and her entire culture have devoted their lives to figuring out and learning is so fucking infuriating I cannot stand to put myself through it

[utilitycaster]

You are right, popularity isn't that important but I'm glad anyway that f/f is the most popular in the CR fandom thanks to Imodna, because it's just nice for once!

You know what's funny is that I suppose I thought of Imodna in passing for this, but it wasn't a significant aspect of my consideration, nor was popularity, and it's depressing that you sent this question because it makes me fear we're stuck.

The ship I had in mind that I like is Dot/Cleo from Unend, which I think is really interesting and am frustrated that whenever it comes up in the Midst server the conversation just goes GOTH GF PINK GF GOTH GF PINK GF GOTH GF PINK GF with no discussion of who they are as people - how Cleo is canonically a nepo baby, but she actually is fantastic at her job of observation because she is warm and kind and genuinely interested in everything around her, and how Dot is hiding absolute terror and misery about everything but is also competent and helpful, and trying to shove them into aesthetic categories ignores all that.

The ship I had in mind I didn't like and which really set it off is that Neve/Bellara from DATV is pretty transparently an attempt to get Neve away from Lucanis, even though they'd both make each other miserable - ie, they're putting forth a Grumpy One Soft For Sunshine One ship to get rid of the women to make way for a ship that includes a man (regardless of what gender you're playing Rook, Lucanis is a man) and I realized that it was in many ways stunningly similar in tenor to Beau and Jester, or Vex and Keyleth, which were both ships that were popular among F/F shippers, and what does that say? I'm saddened by the fact that the ships I'm told by fandoms are beautiful and meaningful and at times harassed for saying aren't that great are, in the end, almost identical in structure to the ships people throw out to push the women of the story out of the way of an M/M or M/F ship. Like, doesn't that suck? Don't you want to do better? Isn't it pretty fucking miserable that any attempt to talk about treating female characters as complex and existing in canon in the work and actually being people with PREFERENCES and not some malleable nothing you can throw at anything to get the ship you want is met with passive aggression and petty popularity contests? Doesn't it make you furious, if you are a woman, that even in fiction - even in fantasy heroic fiction where women can save the world and break reality - everyone's first instinct towards female characters is to be like "lmao no you are not the person you say you are and want to be, you're the person I want you to be for my convenience"? Don't you want to stab the next person who decides that it's more important to climb to the top of the list on ao3 by sacrificing everything complex and thorny and difficult and interesting for a bigger number of fics that could be about literally any two people because there's nothing about the women they're about in them?

Like, really, what does it say that when I say "I feel like fandoms treat F/F as an afterthought and as between two entities that are less than people" multiple people decided the response was "ACTUALLY, some M/M ships are treated badly too? sounds like you hate women? here's a ship I know you openly think is bad and I'm going to send it?" I think of you, anon, in your passive-aggression here, the way I think of tradwifes. I'm not mad, I'm just sad you've gotten trapped in this mentality and this life of serving some goal that doesn't let women be people, and I hope you break free; but I must admit I'd do pretty much anything not to become like you.

[jaal-ama-daravv]

You've probably mentioned this before, but one thing i see repeated in discussion around the Lich ending has me frustrated- people thinking him becoming one is evading the threat of death and the fear of his own. However, were told that he must die to become one, and that he could either permanently die or become a monster like Hezenkoss.

TL;DR I think the fact that Emmrich succeeds in becoming a Lich makes people assume it was an assured outcome, ans they forget he literally had to walk to his certain death with only the slightest possibility he would become something greater.

Apologies for my rambling, I'm loving your takes on Em and reading through your posts has me in a contemplative mood!

The scene where Emmrich attempts lichdom is a hard scene for me to digest. At the same time, I really love it. It's significant and meaningful and you say I love you at an appropriate time and it feels more real than the one at the end of the game. Fast forward a few minutes and then the doors open and youve got a knife covered in blood and Emmrichs organs in an urn. Rook's stronger than me because Id be in the corner curled up in a ball, near drowning in the lil pool they got. So I get your frustration at this.

Whilst inevitably lichdom was Emmrich's way to save himself instead of someone he loved, he still had to die to compelte the process and idk. I think the whole thing was a tad rushed in game. Oh my skeleton boy is gone? huh, Im no longer afraid of death. HUH, Rooks telling me I can do Lichdom?????? afrter Ive sat on my ass contemplating it for YEARS because im afraid of dying. HM. Seriously it's rushed and whilst I love the Lich path, it bothers me because his fear of death essentially goes - WHOOSH, then comes back 50263x stronger in the argument scene.

anyway whos rambling now

love u

[lightlycareless]

Do you think Naoya and his brothers feel a slight resentment in the change of Naobito’s behavior towards Naohime when compared to raising them? While Naobito is certainly not Grandpa of the Year, I’m sure his behavior is a significant improvement to how he raised his own. So I’m curious if they’d hold some anger towards him or Naohime(I doubt Naoya would but I think he’s feelings might be complicated) since it shows Naobito had the capability to be better but wasn’t? Or do they think that Naohime is just a Naobito whisperer Lol

Now isn’t this an interesting ask? This is a can of worms I feared opening because it might put some of Naoya’s relatives in a bad light but hey, that’s just how some families work haha.

Anyways, I won’t say much here, everything will be either on the actual post or afterwards :> I hope you enjoy my analysis of the situation!!

Warnings: none. Difficult family dynamics.

I would love to say that all of the Nao-siblings are responsible, mature adults when it comes to their feelings but let's be real, when Naohime comes along that’s when the real issues with their nephews begin.

Sure, they always considered them to be quite spoiled from Naoya’s willingness to give them whatever they want, followed by having an actual mother that cares for them, to finally, how they don’t seem to go through the same suffering they did when growing up around people like the Zen’in. (You defend them, Naoya is somewhat softer when training them, etc)

They don’t like the whole dynamic around your family…

BUT Naohime just takes it to a whole ‘nother level. At the intervention of Naobito, they finally realize that what they felt upon seeing your family… might’ve been akin to jealousy. It’s just that Naoya gets to experience that as well this time around.

However, the worst part of it is that nobody really expresses their sentiments, so they kind of just continue to grow bottled up inside them—and you don’t blame them. It’s the first time they get to see Naobito being… well, an actual human being and not the monster they grew up to fear and avoid, so they just don’t know how to process it.

Naofumi kind of gives you hints about their current turmoil, or at least that what affects those present at the estate—I dare say Naosuke and Naohito couldn’t care less about this because they’ve moved on, really. They’re rarely home anyways. And truth to be told, when they’re told about Naobito’s and Naohime’s relationship, they don’t really believe it— but outside of that, he’s used to never being up to anyone’s expectations so there’s no difference now :’(.

Naohiko is very vocal about it too, always complaining about how the old man “now has a heart” and how “ridiculous he looks” acting like that. He blames it to old age, that he’s growing senile, or he’s finally lost it, but…. Well, he won’t do anything outside that. Like Naofumi, he’s accustomed to never being to anyone’s expectations. Dare say, he probably has children too at this point, so he can’t bother himself to care about other kids that aren’t his.

Naoaki and Naoya though… they take it the worst.

Naoya is conflicted in the sense that he’s happy that finally one of his kids appear to be of his father’s approval (he’ll never admit it, but he’s unfortunately cursed to always seek his approval, one way or the other.) it’s just that… he never expected to see that kind of behavior coming from him. For the longest time, he believed it was too ingrained in Naobito’s DNA to be evil… alongside the eternal questioning of “what does Naohime have that I don’t to earn that kind of treatment?”

He eventually overcomes this when Naohime reassures him of being the best father ever (it’s a type of “Father adores Naohime, but Naohime adores me, so take that!!), because to him being a good father is much more important than being a good son (at least to someone like Naobito.) and besides, to compare himself to Naobito is… his worst nightmare haha. But all possible thanks to your and the kid’s support ♥️.

Naoaki… yeah, he’s the worst. He effectively hates Naohime, unjustifiably, but he couldn’t hate Naobito more so he has to take it out somehow, you know?

Now, he won’t do anything outrageous, but… he’ll try to diminish her achievements, make her feel guilty about what she does or doesn’t do, and most importantly, project his own insecurities onto her, like comparing her to her siblings. Naoaki genuinely believes she doesn’t deserve all that she gets, thinks that he's worked harder and such. Kind of a “I spent my whole life training to try to appease my father, and this kid is just born and suddenly she’s all he’s ever wanted?”

But by that point Naoya is the leader of the clan so if anything happens he’ll make sure to take the necessary measures to protect his family, though I think that Naoaki would rather live anywhere else than be under the control of his brother. So, kind of like Naosuke and Naohito.

Naohime is quite a spoiled kid, but nonetheless, she’s equally loved by you and Naoya, and Naobito, it seems haha. You really did come to change the Zen’in estate for good 😭😂.

TLDR: Naoya is a bit conflicted but eventually surpasses this situation because he loves Naohime too much to let such petty things bother him. (It took YEARS to get this mature version of Naoya OOF worth it) Naoaki already disliked everything that had to do with you and Naoya so now this is just— great lol. He’ll avoid Naohime most of the time… unless Naobito inspires her to mock him 💀

There you have it :> what I believe their thoughts would be regarding Naohime’s odd relationship with Naobito. They for sure think she’s some kind of Naobito-whisperer lol and those bold enough might use that to their advantage (like get favors and such, very bad influences indeed) but I also believe it doesn’t really matter since I envision that by the time she’s around Naoya is effectively clan leader. It’s a miracle that Naobito is still around by that point lol.

I hope you enjoyed my short analysis, and you don’t know how happy it makes me to read that y’all are interested in my other characters 😭!!!! It’s the highest compliment I could get, so thank you so much for sending in this ask 🥺♥️

Take care and hope to see you soon!!

[dreamwreaver]

For as much Alastor likes to say he's the feared sinner around, a lot of people just don't respect him. Like Carmilla straight up didn't care that he was gone for years, Lucifer has no idea who he was and when he was walking with Zestial, the sinners around them were running from the eldest overlord, not the Radio Demon. The main cast isn't that afraid of him either (aside from Husk but most of the time he's free to gripe and complain about him) and pretty much everyone doesn't let him get a word in.

Charlie, however, does listen to his remarks and give him actual respect for his works. Like the commercial he made for example. She appreciates the work he put into even if she's aware that he meant to mock the hotel, she doesn't dismiss him and even gives out ideas on how he can improve on his work. The same goes for his poster of the hotel, she adds a positive spin on it while keeping his craftsmanship. Alastor, for his part, doesn't mock her for her additions and adds his own input after hers and while it's certainly making jabs at how preposterous her project seems to be, he's still encouraging any possible sinners to try anyway, through playing Charlie's games or going through hills to the hotel. He's not putting her down for her ambition at any point in making the poster and she's not putting him down either.

That's the beauty of Charlie and Alastor's dynamic, despite how different their own perspectives and opinions are, they still work together in their own ways. Respect is evident between them and they work as each other's compass to guide the other to more favorable paths. Even for how long Alastor was gone and how dubious his intentions were, Charlie still considers him a trusted and valuable business partner. She was a princess with an embarrassing reputation and lofty, nonsensical goals but Alastor still saw potential in her. They are aware of each other's background but they don't let their past define how they see one another.

Both of them desire respect and from what they can't get from others, they find in each other instead.

—rambling nonnie

Hey Rambley!

I think he both is and isn't? Like, those who know of the radio demon definitely know to be wary. Angel in the pilot not knowing who he is was so that we the audience could get the info without it stopping the plot. Charlie, the all powerful princess of hell, is afraid when he shows up on her doorstep. So his reputation precedes him enough that he's still a genuine threat. Even Vaggie, who at the absolute shortest has only been in hell about as long as she's been Charlie's girlfriend, knows about him and knows he's a genuine threat when provoked.

That being said, we don't know the canon circumstances around his absence. The leaks imply one thing, and if it's true may explain why Carmilla doesn't care much for where he was or why he was gone. The other popular theory is that Velvette and Valentino stepping in against Alastor during the last major altercation with Vox may have left him weakened enough to strike the deal that keeps his smile in shape. Whatever the reason, the fact that Vox was threatened enough to antagonize him right as soon as he heard the news shows that while Alastor is not a household name as he once was he still holds a significant amount of fear and sway.

And I think to a certain extent Charlie needs that. She has the raw power but neither the finesse nor reputation that allows people to take her seriously. Sinners seem to show a bit more respect to her with the Radio Demon by her side. And in return she opens a place for him in her heart. I don't think she was lying when she said she loved everyone in her life.

[scoupsahoy]

buck is soo. sweet prince of overcorrecting and you see it exemplified for like the hundredth time in the breakup: i'm really put off by the abby thing, and i definitely can't say i love tommy yet, but after that conversation with a well-meaning friend, i think i should ask tommy to move in. this is a good well-thought out decision and it will certainly turn out better than the last time i did that

and the thing with that is that tommy was. totally put off by it. he was like um well actually i think you dont know what you want. you totally flipped on me. i don't know you like this. i'm going to leave before you change your mind again. which. was going to happen. hamster wheels and all that

okay but then you have these two scenes that are so similar and so significant for buck and also called back to each other for the audience:

maddie and chimney coming into buck's kitchen while he is pouring all of his energy into baking, hiding this news from him that could and should make him worried. and then they make you think it does at first!! "this isn't GOOD news" with the dramatic downturn of the music and the dead serious way he delivers it, and then the surprise of "this is the best news" shocking the audience as well as chim and maddie

buck coming into eddie's kitchen because he's poured too much energy into baking and still isn't done, and he wants to commandeer eddie's place as his own because he's not really a guest with eddie. and eddie is hiding this news from him that could and should make him worried. and then the make you think it does at first!! "wait are you serious? when would this be happening?" with the dramatic downturn of the music and the dead serious way he delivers it, and then the surprise of "well... we should move this party to the couch" shocking the audience as well as eddie

i don't think it's a coincidence the way he is clinging onto positivity and i don't think it's a coincidence the way he's refusing to acknowledge the elephants in the room (at least not while the others can see him): the last time maddie had a baby she fled the state and tried to kill herself. the last time eddie left-- well. eddie's never left. never left buck anyway. and buck is always getting left and he's always clinging on so tight it leaves claw marks.

and he desperately clung to tommy, tried to take him in and force this thing that wasn't going to happen, and he was left anyway. he can't beg for people to stay anymore because his claws have been plucked out.

i think tommy leaving him exasperated his abandonment issues in a way we weren't expecting: he's getting practice letting go. he's channeling it elsewhere: baking, work, sex(?) possibly

i think another parallel from the last scene of confessions is possibly coming to light: eddie is finally letting himself feel joy and prioritize himself, and buck is learning how to fake happiness to prioritize others

[imogen-rhitt]

“It’s fine, I did it to myself, right?” Imogen forced a laugh but there was no joy in it, she didn’t find it even slightly funny actually. The whole thing was stupid levels of painful because feeling like a commodity was probably one of the worst she’d ever experienced. And not in a cute ‘oh my significant other is so proud of me they want to show me off’ way, no this was in more like stocks on a trading floor kind of way, trying to get something out of using her as currency. Status? Not that she had much of that. He arguably had more than her but maybe that was the point? He looked even better for marrying someone so normal, not an actress, still in the public eye but lesser than him. Lesser in more ways than one. “Nothing he can really do apart from ruin my reputation and I’m pretty good at making a mess of things myself anyway so maybe I’ll beat him to it.” She’d spent the last however many months pretending this wasn’t the case, that she was overthinking things, being paranoid, but with a little separation from it she could see it for what it plainly was. Bullshit.

She was rambling that much she knew, and needed to get herself under control a bit. Taking a breath she puffed out her cheeks, slowly blowing out the air as she looked at the ground. The hand on her arm had her looking back up at them, a small nod when they urged her to say what she was struggling to spit out. Imogen looked at them for a beat before managing to blurt out (a little bluntly) … “a place where there might be a chance we could have an outside chance of getting back together at some point because I think the biggest mistake of my life was breaking up with you and I haven’t gone a day since when I haven’t wished I could just to back on it but I thought you were having this great career here and I didn’t want to interrupt it but well would you look at that o managed to interrupt it anyway with my whole family death and shitty engagement and showing up at your flat in the middle of the night like some kind of entitled prick and I understand that maybe it’ll take some time, I need to earn your trust back again, or maybe you don’t even want I and I’ve read things totally wrong but even if you don’t then I still want to be your friend and in your life because I miss you and I love you and I’m so sorry…” she broke out, out of breath thanks to the fact she hadn’t taken a single one the entire duration of that run on sentence. Her face beetroot red as she waited in silence for Theo to say something…anything.

Imogen looked down at the pack of toothbrushes and that there were...multiple missing, but forced herself not to dwell on that. What - she thought Theo was going to never feel the touch of another human after she broke their heart? For gods sake Imogen get a god damn grip. So she silenced her thoughts and just yanked one of the toothbrushes out of the packet carefully. Turning to look at them as they mentioned making a joke about riding her she broke out into a cheeky grin, because the exact same thought had run through her mind as well. "I almost asked if I was the kind of rollercoaster you'd want to ride, but since it's a been there done that kind of situation I changed my mind." It was silly that saying that made her feel so vulnerable but she was considering asking a huge question of them if she finally managed to get it out her mouth without vomit overtaking. If you want me - the words hung in the air between them as they looked at each other, the red toothbrush forgotten in Imogen's left hand.

"That was kinda uh...yeah that was sort of...hold on let me brush my teeth." She mumbled before squeezing some toothpaste onto the brush, not wanting to stand here gross any longer. Starting to scrub at them she felt the minty flavour fill up her mouth and it was a welcome change from the sour taste she'd had there before. "Yeah...well that was meant to be part of the PR of the engagement, i told you it's basically feeling like a PR stunt at this point." She mumbled through the act of brushing her teeth, words coming out a bit muffled. "That I would do a bridal line next so women who were getting married like me would have somewhere to get their dream dress...or some bullshit like that. I don't know." It was so manufactured if she hadn't just thrown up there was every chance she'd been feeling nauseous over the words that had just come from her mouth. Quickly ducking her head under the tap she rinsed out the toothpaste before standing up again - finally a little more respectable looking. Well...feeling.

"So yeah uh about that thing I was saying in the kitchen." She could feel her hands shaking a little so she reached behind her to take hold of the sink, if she was holding something maybe it wouldn't be as obvious. "And then you just saying before like 'if you'll have me' i don't if you mean...like I don't know how you mean that...but like...could you see a world where maybe ever we could get to a place where we are like...you know..." Fuck, none of these words were coming out right, and she was going all hot and cold at the same time as she offered up erratic half sentences. No idea if she was even making sense. "Fuck...what even are words right? I'm making such a mess of them. Making no sense." @theoxkent

[hephaestuscrew]

Thoughts on the patterns of who speaks the episode title phrases in Wolf 359

This analysis is based on the data I gathered in this spreadsheet and summarised with graphs in this post. Basically I've been looking at which character first says the episode title phrase (i.e. the exact words which form the name of that particular episode) in every episode of Wolf 359. Go and look at the spreadsheet if you want more context.

I think we can view the episode title phrases as often expressing the key problem or question of that episode. (I might talk about this in relation to individual examples another time.) Through this lens, the consideration of who speaks the title phrase is about which character gets to frame the key issue of the episode for the listener. This doesn't necessarily mean we are meant to share that character's view of the issue, but it's why I think there is some potentially significant analysis to be done on this topic. (See below the cut...)

The proportion of title phrases said by Eiffel reduces with each season. 69.2% of the Season 1 title phrases are (first) spoken by Eiffel, compared to 46.6% in Season 2, 22.2% in Season 3, and 20% in Season 4.

This is perhaps unsurprising. Eiffel is very much the main perspective character and the primary narrative voice at the start of the series. And, as someone with unusual speech patterns, he is excellent at coining a good memorable title phrase. However, while I'd argue that he never stops being the main protagonist, over the course of the series, the narrative focus broadens away from a singular emphasis on Eiffel's perspective. This perspective shift is reflected in episode titles being spoken by a greater range of characters.

I think the decreasing proportion of Eiffel title phrases also reflects the podcast's shift towards a generally more dramatic rather than comedic tone. While Eiffel is capable of being serious at times, I'd argue that his mode of speech is particularly well suited to generating amusing unusual turns of phrase that work well within a more comedic context (e.g. Succulent Rat-Killing Tar, What's Up Doc?, Bach to the Future). As the stakes become higher and the tone becomes less humorous, characters other than Eiffel, who are more often inclined to take things very seriously, are more likely to speak the title phrases.

There's also just the fact that as we get more characters involved in the action on the Hephaestus, the opportunity to speak the title phrase is spread between more characters.

Although Eiffel is by far and away the most common speaker of title phrases in Season 1, in the first three episodes of the whole show, we get all the characters of that season represented in the title phrases. Minkowski speaks the title phrase in the second episode and Hera does in the third episode - but probably quoting a phrase from Hilbert. This gives us a good early indication that, while Eiffel may be the focal point particularly in this season, this is going to be an ensemble show and all of these characters are going to be significant.

Hilbert's only title phrase is in Ep12 Deep Breaths, in the first stage of his mutiny, arguably the only point in the show where he appears to clearly have the upper hand while acting alone.

After the SI-5 are introduced at the beginning of Season 3, we get five Kepler or Jacobi title phrases in a row, which solidifies the SI-5's presence in the show. It also highlights the fact that the SI-5 have taken over the Hephaestus and are now (at least ostensibly) the ones determining the aims of the Hephaestus mission.

In addition, these patterns might be seen to reflect the shift in the show towards a more conflict-focused tone (related but not identical to the movement away from comedy). While Wolf 359 has always been a show full of conflict, the balance of this conflict shifts with the arrival of the SI-5. For the first time, our protagonists are facing a unified team of antagonists. The potential for violence feels higher, as do the stakes. This might explain why, while we only had one antagonist-spoken title phrase across Seasons 1 and 2 (Hilbert in Ep12 - Lovelace doesn't get a title phrase while she's serving as an antagonist), 44.4% of our Season 3 title phrases are first spoken by antagonists.

The only title phrase spoken by Maxwell is spoken by her in a recording that we hear after her death. This isn't even the only posthumous title phrase spoken from the past in Season 4 - we've got one from Commander Zhang of the Tiamat as well. It's an interesting kind of legacy, an interesting way to emphasize the questions characters leave behind after death, recalling similar themes to those explored in Ep46 Boléro.

[blooming-periwxnkle]

Came across a post on pinterest about peonies- how they bloom for 100 years and are thus used to symbolise happy and long marriages. And I can't stop thinking about how Wei Wuxian tossed these peonies at Lan Wangji during his first life.

And I'm also thinking about how Lan Wangji pressed one of those peonies into the notebook on which Wei wuxian transcribed the Lan clan rules, on the page which explains the significance of the Lan clan forehead ribbon...

And just like how peonies are said to bloom for a hundred years, Lan Wangji's love for Wei Wuxian never withered even after all those long years...

Edit: okay guys, I just saw an old post on tumblr about the audio drama. In the AD, when Wei Wuxian tosses peonies at Lan Wangji, the music that plays in the background is called 'silent confession'

...

Yeah.

The post is from @/xinyuenii in case anyone's wondering

[necrotic-nephilim]

not enough TimJay content takes advantage of the fact that the Red Robin mantle and suit were Jason's first, and Tim effectively stole Jason's shit that Jason wanted to throw away. Tim took Jason's name, his suit, to go on a one-man crusade when he's at odds with the Batfamily. You're telling me Jason wouldn't be weirdly offended but also weirdly turned on by that?

robin (1993) #177

robin (1993) #178

And yes, Tim only knows about the Red Robin suit's existence because Ulysses Armstrong stole it for a hot second, but the fact he stole the suit from Ulysses and fucking kept it? Even before he had any reason to? Like before becoming Red Robin, Tim just kept a suit he knew belonged to Jason despite openly disliking Jason for. Reasons. And later on, it's explicitly confirmed Tim's wearing it because it's Jason's legacy? That's the most toxic gay shit I've ever seen.

adventure comics (2009) #3

Tim's punishing himself with Jason's image. Jason, who has been constantly trying to get Tim to see things his way and work with him would lose his mind over that. There's such a potential for a toxic possessiveness to it all, Tim branding himself with Jason's suit and name. The assumptions Jason would make about Tim because of it. The way Jason could hold that over Tim's head, that they really are one and the same, and deep down, Tim must know it to some degree, if he became Red Robin when he felt replaced as Robin. I truly do not think Jason would ever shut up about it. As a fan of 'possessive/weirdly obsessed with Tim' Jason, I think this would take Jason's weird feelings about Tim to the next level. And if Tim will punish himself just by wearing Jason's legacy, imagine how much more he'd punish himself for falling for Jason too. Weird freaky little masochist who tortures himself through Jason seems exactly Jason's type, tbh. I'm feral about it.

[hexxingcode]

somehow accidentally made an animatic(... ish.) so hey rain world downpour enjoyers come get your dubious neighborhood beverage if you want it. there's five pebbles in there.

[fearandhatred]

at first i thought it was kinda funny in a way that crowley's wings got darker when he learned that they would be shutting everything down so soon since they can literally choose their wing colours. like it was a "ok i'm emo now. i hate you mom" sort of situation

and THEN i thought about the juxtaposition between black and the colours of the stars he created. of those colours he put into the dark universe to make it not so dark anymore. there not being even a trace of black on their clothes or the items they use to create. the whiteness of heaven. and i was like oh :)

because. because his wings getting darker is an unconscious separation from everything that he has identified with and been surrounded by in the past few billion years. the colour is an unfamiliarity that he starts to relate to for the first time. when he experiences, for the first time, things being ripped away from him, and that loss of faith is potent enough to physically manifest in his wings

[starflungwaddledee]

Oooo starstruck dee has little stars at the bottom of her feet! Are they just aesthetic or would they make imprints into the ground? (like pawprints)

exactly like that! though she's not the only one...

edit: might need to add some additional dialogue to this to make it more clear, but a clarification in the interim; he knows about his own footprints. he's just surprised to see something similar already there when he knows he's only just landed. he lifts his own shoe to confirm that they're not identical (and also to reveal this to the viewer). seems his stoicism beat off the clarity in this one, sorry 😭