#but I still need to pay my bills
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Did this Landlords Are Leeches design, for fun. You can get it here if you’re interested: https://society6.com/art/landlords-are-leeches8284119 https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/44995877-landlords-are-leeches?store_id=2389831
#leeches#landlords are leeches#landlords#rent#rent is too damn high#socialism#socialist#fuck capitalism#but I still need to pay my bills
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Oh my god, poverty brain makes big purchases so freakin scary. I know I need a laptop. I will have tons of downtime at work and I can't cart my three monitor gaming PC into work on slow days. So I need a laptop. I had some help picking a really good one and it's gonna do the stuff I need. But it's still such a big chunk of money. *Sweats* I have done it. But it was hard.
Luckily it sounds like my accommodation is getting reviewed for real this time and I should have more freetime at the small store and on my days off to take commissions again! I can also resume working on my comics as I've got a tablet going spare that I can take with, so all that is very exciting.
#the prospect of having spoons to create and time to do so is alleviating some of the Big Purchase feelings#the last time I was making big money I still really struggled to buy stuff even when I needed it#and one time my beloved took me shopping for clothes and I racked up like a $500 bill because it was all way nicer than I've ever considere#and I literally couldn't pay. I was like I want these clothes and I have the money but it's so painful so my beloved took my wallet#and shooed me away and the worker was kinda laughing cause I know it was ridiculous but I was so anxious#ramblies
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I know a sorta made a small post along these lines the other day, but something a lil more official of!!
im kinda broke rn, between the recent stuff with losing my car and having to get a new one and work literally scheduling me 13 hrs a week. Im slowly losing money and it got really bad this month after paying my bills and everything and realizing I had just 300 bucks in my bank account.
My current job hasn't been working with me to give me the hours i need to make a living wage and iv been trying to get a new job for months with no success and it's looking like i could really use a lil extra support via online commission work rn until I can land a more solid paying job. I really hate to sound like a desperate wet cardboard box beast but I still need to insure my new car and cant afford it as i stand right now.
I wont ask for donations, I think im going to be fine, but a lil money to help keep my head above the water would be great so im just gonna promo my commission work. To anyone who can commission me in some way or another would be awesome! I appreciate any support I can get rn even just a reblog
My Commission Info
My Kofi
My Etsy
My Toyhouse
#again sorry for sounding like im crying wolf with 200 in my account but i havent bought groceries this month#or my car insurance#im waiting for my next paycheck#so i kinda know its about to get sucked down the drain#i still havent bought christmas gifts for my brother and the cousins which i would really like to be able to if i could#again im not gonna die#so im not asking for donations#i will be fine#im just a lil money stressed and if i could branch out to try and get some commission work rn that would be a huge help#again im not asking for donations#there defiantly ppl who need it more than me#but if you were everythinkin to commission me and have the funds rn#i wouldnt mind if you reached out#i know its the holidays and everyone is probably low on funds#i see the situation as it is rn#but if i could just make an extra hundred or two i think it put my mind at ease a lil more for when its time to pay all my bills again
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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Doing the biannual round of checking in on and managing my retirement and high interest savings accounts ($147 dollars)
#i have a friend whos had his retirement account going since like 2014 and tries to argue abt why i havent and btch....#i did. technically#but sir. pal#you were an only child with two (divorced) working parents who were able to live w ur mom until u were in ur 20s#we're 30 and your dad still has your car loan#i didnt have any money to fucking put in it that i wouldnt possibly need on a rainy day like. fuck off man#the other friend who started saving at the same time as me ALSO still has her phone bill payed by her parents. gets money on birthdays etc#ive been paying my own rent since i was 16. took over the last of my recurring bills at 18.#at no fucking point have i been in a position where i could coast on anything. byeeeee.
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me during the triple header + canada:
me seeing the one week break:
#formula 1#f1#charles leclerc#scuderia ferrari#cl16#ferrari istg#ferrari depression#i still love you charles#ferrari needs to pay for my medical bills#forza charles sempre
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Hey hey hey
Idk if you know this
But I'm currently Looking for work and it's not going too swell at the moment
BUT I have art commissions!!!
My prices aren't set in stone and can be Negotiated! And I can do all kinds of work! I can even do some light animation work!!!
If you don't see quite what you're looking for on my page you can always DM me with questions and I can make custom options for you!
I do OCS, show/game characters, humanoid and anthro characters, ships, character designs, you name it!
So please consider giving my commissions a peak!!!
Here's a few of my most recent examples too!
#works been tough to find#and ive got bills to pay#reblogs are SUPER appreciated#commissions#art commissions#digital art#art commissions open#open commissions#vgen#vgen commission#vgen comms#art comms open#commssions open#comms#starrspice#broke artist#semi emergency commissions#not urgent but still very much needed#i typically work pretty fast!#my art#commission art#emotes
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If you like my content and want to support me I have now a Ko-fi, thank you in advance of you help 🥺💖
#i wanted to make another post more clean ckbsjdj#more official#while I find a job it will help me a lot pay for Sowon’s food and litter my medication and my phone#also Puppy’s pills if my mom dosen’t have enough#with my dad changing job she will have to pay more for bus pass and it may put her in trouble#i need to go to the place where they can help you find a job cause I’m lost on where to go and what’s good for me….#I’m in trouble with money but I still live well thanks to my parents so you don’t have to but it would help a lot for now#and even if I do get a job the money I receive will go into puppy’s vet bills 💚#alex.txt#ok to reblog please do
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Today I created my own holiday called “handle your shit saturday” in which I had to actually deal with all the shit piling up in my house and actually do the projects I’d been planning and it was so satisfying and made me feel SO much better. If you’re struggling rn, I highly recommend, even if you just handle a small chunk of your shit, giving it a name made it feel all official and whatnot and somehow let me trick myself into doing things I’ve been putting off since November.
#I re-sealed around the basement window where I think ants were getting in last summer#I filed my taxes#I put away the candles in the windows from Christmas (all the other Christmas shit got put away a while ago)#I put away all the snowman decor#there’s still more to do:#I need to pay my water bill#i need to scan the QR code that came with the water bill to see if I have to test something about my pipes#I need to re-seal around the kitchen counters and also the kitchen window#(the other likely entry point for the ants)#I need to replace the picture frame I broke mopping last weekend (don’t ask I don’t know how I did it either)#but getting rid of the piles of paper for my taxes for example feels so good
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being a sollux fan is suffering cant even check his tag w/o getting ersl as the first result😭😭 pissed me off so bad i actually blocked the artist sjdjsjjsjdsj
HELPPP i wish tumblr's filter content settings actually hid posts entirely instead of leaving it behind a wall. but i will say there were two fairly recent ersl interpretations that i found pree fresh, rlly gotta clown these charas for the funs
#ask#anon#mumblings#not sure if ive mentioned before but one of my earliest exposures to ersl was from a super old humanstuck slkt fic#its been 2yrs since i last read it so i may have misremembered the details and thereby fudge this description but#the premise had slkt being poor living together w karkat working his ASS off to the boneeee barely afloat providing for both him and sollux#they're dating but sollux was v mentally ill + extremely distraught and depressed after accidentally killing aradia in a car crash#he became confined to his room and when he wasnt bedridden he was physically and verbally lashing out at karkat. its heavy and upsetting#meanwhile karkat was churning multiple jobs just to sustain them - he's hurt stressed and in pain from losing the sollux he once knew#but he still insists on staying bc he cares abt sollux. then after a few months of this sollux's dad refused to keep paying for his meds ??#the bill was so expensive kaRKAT BROKE DOWN AND COULDNT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! i forgot what happened immediately afterwards but#they split and sollux gets kicked out (?) while karkat slowly recovers from the sheer survival mode trauma of the whole experience.#then ~Timeskip to the future~ where karkat finds out sollux's mental health improved significantly.... & that he's happily dating eridan :D#UGH. cant help but laugh just thinking about it.#bcs iirc sollux explains to karkat how eridan is loaded asf and can easily afford all the necessary medications sollux needed to get better#thats how the fic concludes btw. karkat still alone with eridan suddenly getting inserted as sol's uber lucky rich bf benefactor#like gawdd. this is THE funniest possible way of adapting the “slkt lowblood vs ersl high/lowblood” dynamic to its closest human equivalent#i hope i didnt just hallucinate this whole thing pls i cannot for the life of me remember much other than that twist ending#decade-old darkfic demonstrating relationship between class poverty mental illness and the american healthcare system! still relevant today
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dude im
i think this is the first time in... as long as i can remember that life's actually going well. like sometimes life just Goes By until something bad happens or whatever... but like, ive had a lot of pretty good days in the past month ish? ive gone to two really amazing local shows recently, plus some other concerts, im seeing my favorite band next week, i might be making merch for another one of my favorite bands.... and yeah ive had shitty days and i got sick but like.. i remember those days well so the inbetween is just, that.. the in between... god idk becoming more involved in my local scene has been so fucking surreal..
#like its hasnt been great weeks back to back but#ive had really great experiences? yk#so like... those mainly stick out to me bc of my memory issues#and like.. ugh#i dont even know it just feels like things might actually start getting#fun#ever since i went to my first incubus concert i like... knew i wanted to fucking go to as many as possible#and thags coming true!#ive found so many local bands i absolutely fucking love and theyve become what i regularly listen to#which makes that so much easier#and im hoping to eventually get my license because like... i need to start drivinnt#which will make traveling easier#if i do get to sell shirt i can make money#and stickers#and just#idk im actually excited for the future for the first time in so longm#like.. i know So many people like concerts#but just like#theyve genuinely given me a reason to live#i love seeing people at shows and i love taking photos and meeting the bands and just everything about it#i met a guy whos been to two shows i have and i got his insta n like#that shows that like hey maybe i can find a group of people to go with yk?#even if its not him or whatever#i still want to try and make a movie one day but i really am considering working for bands and shit cause like#i dont want to be rich i wanna live w a couple people and travel and actually Live#as long as i can pay the bills and get gas im okay#i mean fuck im even willing to stick around my home town longer if it means that i get to do that shit yk?#idk im rambling but whatever#just like#fuck im so thankful to have found a place i genuinely enjoy and most of the time can express that pretty easily
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mum found out I quit my job and now she's panicking from her hospital bed.
#even tho ive been unemployed since August she thinks i just quit. i think of i tell her its been a while and ive been#looking after her basically as soon as i quit she'll maybe calm down#i only ended up telling her because my money is running dry because i spent it all looking after her and checking up on her#when i wasnt supposed to. and she needs to know that im running out of money 😭#but now i feel like the situation is worse. she keeps telling me to call my old job and ask them to take me back#but id rather find another job than go back there it got so bad i genuinely thought I'd die at that place#im not built for customer service + its not worth travelling 4 hrs a day for minimum wage#shes worried about my bills but ive actually been able to pay my bills since i quit 😭 because i saved#so much money up. when i was working i could've save because i had to spend half of it on transport costs and i could barely pay my bills#my mum thinks suffering is important like its supposed to happen so im not surprised she thinks this but now i feel like#i cant even see her because she'll spend the entire visit telling me to go back to my old job#even tho i told her I've been looking for work (which i have). i was when i was still working and i still am now. im just not having the#best luck rn
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hey im sorry to ask for help again, i just dont know what else to do right now. im starting my new job today (just onboarding for now but im finding out my new schedule today and i'll be starting next week) and my bank account is currently at -23, i just had to pay my phone bill so that put me at -78. if anyone has anything to spare so i can get out of this hole itd be greatly appreciated 🙏 as soon as my new job starts i'll be able to get on track fairly quickly but my boss completely screwed me over with scheduling for my last few weeks of work, idk what im gonna do
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 💕 of course plz only help if you can afford to
#im trying not to be angry about my schedule but its hard not to when i need to work to live and my boss doesnt give a fuck#good thing this is my last week!!!!!! that was maybe one of the most toxic environments ive experienced at a job in years.#toxic in a way im not used to or experienced before#and now my finances are going to be in shambles for months bc my boss wanted to be petty. thats literally all this is#i hate the world. i still have bills to pay and im on the verge of getting my bank account closed bc it keeps getting overdrafted#idk what im gonna do. trying not to freak out its too early for a freakout but uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh
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Holy fuck y'all i should NOT be awake 😭
#p#i need to be up in six hours 😭😭#i had an awful exhausting evening#my hamster that i had before moving passed away#the car i bought not even two years ago is totaled and unfixable#i lost one of the gigs i thought i had secured for the school year#it is pms hell week for me and i keep swinging wildly between utter fully body rage and complete overwhelming despair and anxiety#i want to cry but ive done enough crying tonight thank you!!!!#please let tomorrow be kinder i desperately need it#please let the jobs ive emailed tonight email me back#and let the pay be good#i also have sooooo much to do before next tuesday oh my god#i need to prep for our session on saturday#finish lesson planning for the summer camp#finish character creation#grocery shop#quick clean of the house bcuz lord knows i wont be doing it while at the camp#i still havent received a v important piece of mail#figure out how to pay my taxes and insurance#prep for the meeting i have monday morning re new school year including some brain storming#reviewing the pacing calendar and handbook and looking at the google drive again#and im being social this entire weekend agh#plus look for jobs i guess??? bcuz money is needed#and theres family drama 🙃#ugh i should probably not be posting this on main#perhaps i will delete later ugh#life is just hard atm it will get better it always does#and i will not lose my rental nor will i be unable to pay my taxes and bills#it will be FINE#because i will make it fine
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Since when did we start charging money on patreon for fanfics 😭😭😭😭 is this for real😭
hi, love. I haven't seen that many people doing the Patreon thing when it comes to fanfic, but it's pretty common for people who draw for example to set up a Patreon. I believe that everyone who does, just like myself, needs the money. I wouldn't be doing it if i didn't need to. I figured the Patreon setup was the best idea since it's not really that common for people to tip writers, we've been struggling with getting reblogs and comments, so you can imagine.
Right now, I'm applying and doing tests to get an internship, which still won't be enough because I'm also trying to apply for a master's. So, yeah, I'm really thankful for everyone who tipped me on ko-fi and subscribed to my Patreon, last month my savings were over, and the Patreon money was what helped me pay for some medical stuff I needed (Idk if you saw the whole mick schumacher's sick club, but yeah — huge thank you for everyone who subscribed/donated btw).
We often see fic writers as little robots who don't eat, drink, or sleep. We request stuff, and expect an instant reply, and when we get the content we don't even go back to the page to tell the writer our thoughts. We don't reblog, nor leave comments, but still, we expect them to keep writing and keep sharing everything as if it didn't take hours, sometimes days to come up with a 1k piece polished to what we think readers will like best. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm just trying to make a point because I'm tired of seeing writers deactivating, tired of seeing my friends getting writer's block and then people still demanding things.
On top of that, I'm still posting a lot here, from smau to blubs and long fic requests (and I won't even talk about how some pieces aren't even getting a hundred notes, which always makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, if my writing is bad, or if there's anything that I could do to make the reader's experience more enjoyable), and it takes a lot of time, it's even harder to balance the two profiles now, but still, I keep sharing some of my work for free. so please, please, don't make me feel bad about needing money. thanks ❤️.
#I'm still searching like crazy for the best internship that gives me enough time to study for my application and enough money to pay for +#the stuff that I really need#medical bills are expensive#school books and stuff are expensive#we do what we can#and I say we including other writers that relly on donations too#anyways#Im sorry for letting my heart run wild here but I really needed to share this because I'm tired#and I do feel a bit guilty some days for sharing paid stuff because I wanted everyone to read what I post#wanted everyone to enjoy it and gush with me about college!mick and ghost!lewis and so on#but right now that's the best way I found to deal with my current situation#so please please try seeing your writers side#and on top of that make sure youre supporting the people that are here everyday putting their hearts on each piece#and I mean support as in reblog and let them know you liked it and so on#if you can support someone with money thats great#but most of the times a comment and a reblog will make the writers days#it makes mine#I wish you guys could see the smile on my face whenever someone comes back like “hey Im the one who requested x and I loved it”#anyways Im sorry for ranting#I hope I did not come across as rude again#and Im not saying you don't reblog or support your writers this is more of a widely rant#<3#millies inbox#anon#patreon#f1 fandom
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I think for the meantime (considering work schedule) I'll only have the simple shading (like my last 2) available for commissions as I'm not sure I'll have time to dedicate to more complex pieces without it taking too long & I don't want people feeling like they'd have to wait months for something
#ill edit this on my commissions page and post#bc i still do need some extra money to pay my student loan bills#however i dont have time/energy for more complex pieces
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