#but I should be able to manage 3??
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recent veneer art >:o)
#FLOYD SCRATCH INCIDENT.......... i think via should reblog and about it wink wink wink wink wink#but basically <3 floyd freaks out and SCRATCHES veneer up so bad#cue a vicious declawing from velvet#ven wore asymmetric sleeves for AGES until managers and producers and costume designers were like .. “no girl let ur freak flag fly”#“the ppl will love it”#veneer is probz the easiest character EVER to draw so all of these didnt need sketches ... having sm fun being able to whip out a drawing o#him with little effort.... my lazy heart sings#veneer#trolls band together#trolls#trolls veneer#veneer trolls#band together#fanart#art
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ifrit's tail makes delicious food
#dali smoking was a surprise to me ngl#he and ipos#i love orias sm#babylus teacher content my beloved#theyre all<3333333#my friend was so confused and blanked out when i started to rant abt the teachers#and was like 'Who??' all the time regarding teachers who werent balam and kalego#</3#marbas is my favorite regarding concept and design#hes so plain and nice looking and you dont expect him to be the torture arts teacher#that and he has a sister who's kerori's manager at devimuse agency and then a relative who's now a freshman student#i think marbas has the most family branches we've seen of all teachers#all the teachers are just so interesting#robin orias and dali are the next three teachers i want to know more of not in that exact order#azz and ifrit's showdown and azz being able to hold up against a teacher was so cool though#and ifrit's remark on how azz was still daleth was interesting#what rank SHOULD he be ifrit??#im so curious as to what the teachers think of every misfit and student#mairimashita iruma kun#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#welcome to demon school#iruma kun#mairuma
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This weekend wasn't enough I need 2 more T.T
#1 to do all the work i still have not been able to do and 1 to unwind from doing all the stuff#No really how has anyone else managed to do all this? Have they halfassed all this? Maybe i should ask :l#But like. I know this woman. This is the hrm woman i was complaining about like 2 semesters ago. This woman makes the worst paper in the#World. Thinking nah ill make up my grade in the paper is the road to retaking this course. You have to make up in assignments what you know#She'll take away in the exam#Sigh#3 complete sadists this semester :l 3! And one actually really brilliant prof who is notorious for giving awful grades but whatever shes#Good i like her. And the other 2 are good :) but these 3! Need to find new jobs somewhere else PLEASE!#For the sake of whatever dredges of sanity i have left#Actually 3 weekends would be nicer. I need to sleep#Oh wait what am i on about everyone else is probably using chatgpt#Right#Ok
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Saw someone who followed me simping so hard for antipsychotic medication that they went as far as to say that questioning or doubting whether you want to be on them counts as a delusion, and so I blocked them lol
We support non-medicated schizophrenics here, Sir
Everybody gets to choose their own paths of treatment and recovery, just bc you have a psychotic disorder instead of depression or anxiety doesn't mean you have less autonomy or choice in how you want to manage your symptoms. We can make our own medical decisions, idc if everyone in the world has been preprogrammed to think a schizophrenic person off their meds is the worst thing in the world and they must not be thinking reasonably - we are capable of making our own medical decisions and yes we do have rational concerns and valid justifications.
#im not saying everyone should go off their meds#im saying that if you love your meds and your life wouldn't be the same without them then that's so awesome#but people who are unhappy or uncomfortable while they're on them should be able to choose not to take them#for every other disorder they have a whole toolbox of ways to approach managing and living alongside it's symptoms#but with psychotics disorders all the doors are closed and the only one made available to you is meds#even though that's not the only one that works or will help improve things#i haven't been on antipsychotics in like 3 years and fellas I'm doing fine#i have schizophrenia so my psychosis is not intermittent and my symptoms aren't only sometimes#and I don't take the meds bc they ruined my life and it just become a medical choice I could not justify for myself anymore#we are not going to shit on non med psychotics#not on this page#actuallypsychotic
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#16 days till I move out of this childhood not!home. a not!home which brings mostly really sad memories of being gaslit and minimized#and of receiving zero accommodations as an autistic kid#moving is a financial risk..but it'll be better for my health#visiting my ex-supervisor soon means I've managed to shorten the wait by 5 days. or else it would've been 21#if one counts the Lunar New Year as a distraction..it cuts it down by 4 additional days to make it 12.#(so yeah I've simply been unable to smoothly dish out new art and stuff..coz of this. that should change in maybe 3 weeks)#my body and soul feel like lead. I need a new start#also gotta love C-PTSD for turning what should be a straightforward celebration into a mess of murkied emotions..#well. at least I'll be able to walk to the nearest grocer and shops from then on..instead of having to drive#loz says stuff
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guys when the disability is disabling 👎
#sorry stupid vent post <3#im gonna be angry in the tags here for a second#im just. idk. sick of being aware of the fact that im getting worse.#i had a week off from work for moving and school purposes#and now that im back i am . oh boy 👍 not great#literally passed out this morning which . thats new. dont like that.#hopefully its just a . one off thing. i dont know. but. idk.#something something capitalism something something ableism something something im tired of this grandpa#i am tired of being in pain <3 im tired of feeling like im falling behind constantly and like im letting everyone down#by just not being able to do the things i feel i should be able to do.#and like. also currently looking at wfh jobs bc i do not think my body can handle school and work and having to stand and walk and stairs#that much . every single day.#and i feel bad about that too bc i transfered to this store ! i put in work to be here at this store and my fucking body is giving out !!#its not even bad. its a much quieter store than the one i came from. everyone ive talked to is nice. the manager is understanding#and i hate that i feel like im just. deteriorating. and failing at everything <3#but like whatever . its whatever. i know its just the. internalized shit of 'yeah but im not bad enough to warrant this'#like ! fuck !#idk. things to bring up in therapy i guess <3#ok goop night sorry for this. i wont be deleting bc fuck me if i ever delete a post. cringe is dead or wtvr
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I sometimes wonder how much Louis is able to withstand. It’s a lot of heartbreak in a short amount of time. I got to thinking about this when I’ve been catching up on old 1D footage and even after 1D ended how they really supported each other.
A couple of things that are like daggers to the heart… that hug they shared at the last show. I know we all focused on the Larry hug but with some of these videos & tik toks people are sharing on Twitter, I really saw the Lilo hug. I teared up. They were so close even with the band ending. And then I think of Liam wearing Louis’ merch. Ugh I teared up again. Louis defending Liam on that radio show, teared up again. These darn lilo compilations lol. It’s just minutes of pure emotion. I feel like Louis once again lost such a big part of his support system that he and we thought he’d have for many years to come. Oh and the “I thought we’d share the same stage again but it wasn’t meant to be” part. And how Liam said that Louis would purposely start these water fights to make Liam smile and be like a kid again.
To see how he was publicly grieving by posting not only his statement but the pictures he posted of the 2 of them and then also posting his latest song to encourage people to stream it. It just kills me to see Louis be the next big target online. The amount of hate & wishes of harm on him so soon after Liam’s passing is gross. I hope Louis stays far away from social media and just concentrates on himself during this difficult time.
Oh, that was a bit soul cleansing lol. Sorry to bring up all of this, things just really got to me yesterday. I hope everyone can take steps to heal, I guess I realized my process might be a little longer ❤️🩹 Take care!
🫂
#i think Louis has a very strong support system#even with his fans#it’s different than the hate Liam has been receiving#also they are different personality wise#i just hope Harries will stay the fuck away from#him and I just hope they will all will stay away from public eye for a long time#i know this is not what is going to happen because sooner or later they’ll be back#especially Harry cause I can’t imagine they will hold back whatever project they have for a long time#i just wish they would tho because I don’t think anybody needs it#it will take me like 2 to 3 years to be able to consider the idea that we should move on#i am considering selling zayn tickets too because honestly i cant imagine what it must feel like#for us but also for him?#im dreading that moment#mostly because I know it will happen earlier than ill be ready for it#and i will hate seeing everyone happy and celebrating how life moves on#and im struggling with that too#i hope louis knows there is no rush#i hope he sits down and heals and recovers before thinking it’s taking too much time or whatever#there is no rush and i hope he knows it#i hope he knows there is the option to stop and take care of himself#the option is there and it’s valid#he didn’t have this option when his mom died. he didn’t have this option when his sister died#i just hope he knows this is different and should be treated differently this time#for the others… i don’t follow them closely so i don’t care#even if i am afraid they will move on soon#but with louis… yeah I hope he manages the pressure of it well#also just remembered Louis was seen wearing Liam’s merch#and honestly im broken now#casella di posta numero 32
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I had really good classes yesterday (apart from like one kid who got actually angry when I said we couldn't play soccer in class but even that I managed to stay calm and kind of work around) so I'm definitely feeling a lot better than yesterday.
Today though. Today will be challenging.
#chough chatterings#i have 3 classes today and they're all big and they're all chatty#i'll have an assistant this time though so it'll hopefully be manageable#thankfully the second class has been split now. like before it was a mix of 2nd graders and 5th graders#so instead of trying to cater to 2 different levels i should now just be able to concentrate my effort on one kind of lesson#the first class though. ugh. 1st/2nds graders of adhd boys (1 hyperactive 1 inattentive) + mean girls + one preschooler
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It’s so insane that my job here got so bad so fast I relate it to loml of all fucking things
#like how did I go from feeling like I was literally born to do this#and having been promoted to BAR MANAGER in 2 months#to feeling like I’m the stupidest idiot alive and genuinely EMBARASSED to be taking up space#in 3 weeks flat#it’s fucking insane#and like#yes dumb misogynistic asshole boss is the answer#but it’s like actually some kind of psych warfare not being able to have a single opinion that’s respected and not turned into an ARGUMENT#like full on argument#it’s just WEARING on me dude#I’m so tired and I am so fucking sad#it should not be like this#whatever you say it isn’t right whatever you do it isn’t enough there’s nothing like a mad woman etc
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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
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frick. mannn. i can not feel tired, but sleep deprivation really does make the adhd worse
#not concentrating on anything? yup#not able to fricken start a task? YUP#wanderlust resulting in me taking an impulsive 2-hour bus detour? yup#impulse eating? yup#i have. been trying to start this assignment on and off since 11am. it's 10:39pm now.#i've only had 3 hours of things that would obstruct task. i still have got nothing done#somehow i've managed to fit in probably 2 hours of touhou#totally inappropriate sense of levity about things when i should be worried? yup - okay that's not an adhd symptom but still#talking in circles and rambling more than usual? yup#no motivation? aaargh#i don't have a formal adhd diagnosis. but aaaarrgh this is kinda funny but also infuriating but hilarious
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Y'all say this site is toxic, but mweor got my sister and I diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome instead of fibromyalgia and "that weird kid who keeps telling people she dislocates an entire limb by just existing"
So I'd say it is a win.
#mweor#like 6-7 years ago a mweorian talked about their struggles with it and being taken seriously due to their age and its rarity#i learned about it because I have a thing for knowing about less common medical conditions#and wanted to be able to help people get answers and stuff if I ever managed to follow my md dreams#only then it was wait a bloody moment the brat is also having an issue that sounds like POTS bro you should get tested#and then she fought multiple specialists until 1 was willing to test her butt for hEDS#and what do you know#and then that led to testing for the rest of us#so I guess technically they got 3 people diagnosed because dad but atill
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The reason I haven't posted a Big Bang fic preview yet is because I'm literally not done with it T_T I had to get an extra week extension and even so I'm not sure I'll be 100% done by then.
#wip stuff#i have like 85% of the overall fic done#in terms of doing editing and cleaning up i just finished 1/5 chapters tonight#i might be able to do ch 2 and 3 tomorrow and the day after#which basically leaves me the weekend and change to finish ch 4 and 5#i should be able to manage that but lord help me. wish me luck
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the more i think about herlock's plan to protect kazuma the more holes it has. which is probably because he made it up on the fly, but, like, what was his plan if kazuma woke up sooner than *checks notes* (less than) 48 hours after getting bonked on the head (and also didn't lose his memory lol). like if he woke up early the whole scheme is fucked because he could have just said "uh no i'm not going home?". and even if he still got amnesia the only reason he got lost in the first place was because he wandered off. but if at any point he'd heard that the ship was heading to london, well
(presumably herlock would have come up with another ridiculous scheme which. i think would be very funny)
#star says#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#dgs spoilers#herlock sholmes#kazuma asogi#herlock when kazuma wakes up in a fucking coffin and immediately demands to speak to the manager (hosonaga):#damn i should have locked that door#LIKE? HE JUST LEFT? THE DOOR? WAS UNLOCKED???#(there was most likely no one inside since kazuma got out so easily so it can't have locked from the inside)#ANYONE COULD HAVE COME IN AND NOTICED HEY THIS DEAD GUY'S NOT DEAD#au where ryuunosuke and susato go visit the body to pay their respects right after dinner and kazuma sneezes on the pepper or some shit#ik herlock says that manipulating ryuunosuke into lawyerhood was a way of guaranteeing kazuma couldn't actually go#but. i think if kazuma was present on the ship no one would be able to argue that perhaps the actual lawyer chosen is a better candidate#than ryuunosuke who at this point is Just Some Guy#this is not to rag on the game btw i think it's very funny <3
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One of the things that hurts Khare the most isn't so much the eyes and teeth growing in her flesh but rather her memory issues, how easily she forgets things and struggles with the most basic tasks. Her IQ wasn't impressive before getting experimented on but she lived independently and picked up a range of skills from doing so along with working many odd jobs back in Hull. It's immensely frustrating - and upsetting - to her when it takes so long to learn what should be a simple thing.
#🌈 || musings#🌈 || headcanons#Okay the eyes and teeth are a little upsetting but you get used to them after a while#Covering them up and scraping them off every couple of days is managable#It's the impact the injections had on her brain that's most upsetting#Trying to remember the right way to spell certain words and phrases#Struggling to repeat a task when she nailed it before#Now she struggles doing even the simplest things and it takes so much effort#Fortunately Pauli and everybody else at the diner are patient and she's able to function well enough but#It's still upsetting like she could DO all this so easily before and now she can barely remember what her own mother looks and sounds like#Would she even recognize her if she walked past on the same street?#How long until she forgets another important thing?#As her body mutates she gets harder and harder to kill but that IQ is dropping as a result#She KNOWS she's not dumb but can't help it#Rorschach helping her retain her memory and correct spelling by playing Scrabble tho <3#OKAY just one more doubleshift tonight then I'm FREEEEEEEEEEE#Hours should be bback to normal next week but I'm not holding my breath#Ah well I'll be happy for a day off tomorrow regardless#Sorry sorry to have been so quiet and lacking activity I am just tired :(
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I haven't done anything tonight yet bc I rediscovered Guitar Hero (damn I feel old XD)
but good news is I've only got 16 things left to do! by tomorrow, I should have more things in the queue than are left to be done, which is always a good feeling
I still have a little ways to go but DAMN I should have the askbox open in about a week! I'm so freaking excited <3
#mod post#my hands hurt tho idk if it's still eczema or if it's dry skin or what but they're cracking and painful#esp across my palm and on the webbing between my thumbs and first fingers? it SUCKS bc like obv you use your hands for everything#I'm a lil angy about it but I'm managing#also on shark week AND haven't had any ibuprofen in almost a week when I used to take it at least once a day for headaches#so I'm in a little pain but I'm trying to power thru bc I'm worried that my headaches are rebound headaches from taking ibuprofen so much#ALSO BITCHES????? BITCHES FNAF MOVIE DROPS ON FRIDAYYYY#me and Mom are gonna watch it on Saturday after I get out of work... WITH PIZZA AND WINGS!!!!#that thought is getting me through the rest of the week dammit#really looking forward to it#ANYWAY SORRY I RAMBLED IN THE TAGS BUT I'MMA TRY TO GET SOME HECKING THINGS DONE!!#should be able to manage at least two tonight <3#but I'm tired so two mmmmay be the most I can muster up tonight#but that'll mean the queue and my drafts will be tied at 14 each and that will feel HUGE#love you guys pls take care of yourselves!!!! practice good self care drink water take your meds go have a snack and watch a show!! <3
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