#but I personally theorize

[akanemnon]

We didn't even get an answer, and we never will (at least it's not determination)

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[babacontainsmultitudes]

RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[secret-spirit]

Doodle from the 4th whiteboard that exploded a week ago that I'm proud of :>

Close up

-lyrics in order in undercut:

I can see it in your smile and in your eyes

There's no compassion, no there's nothing left inside

Over and over no you're never satisfied

Made your decision now you're gonna have a bad time

I see your mind now it's slipping faster

Kill or be killed only thing that matters

Across the land all their ashes scatter

Who's the monster now?

[trappedinafantasy37]

"Weeeh! I wanna recruit Minthara on a good playthrough! Weeeh! I don't like the ultimatum and want to keep both Minthara and Halsin! Weeeh! I wanna make Minthara good! Weeeh! I don't want Minthara to break up with me!" Minthara deserves more content but none of these things are at all what she needs or deserves. No, these are all things that you want for yourself, but do absolutely nothing for her. This is one of the biggest L's in the game and it will forever enrage me because I just know it will never happen.

Minthara deserves to confront Orin like all the other companions do with their abusers. She deserves to scream and yell at Orin. She deserves to cut at her the same way Orin did, make her bleed and scream in pain. Minthara deserves to torture Orin, just as she did her in the mind flayer colony. Minthara deserves the right to roll up to the Temple of Bhaal and beat the shit out of Orin with her bare hands. Leave Orin begging for mercy in which Minthara will not even give her a drop. To slam Orin down on that altar and slice her throat, offer her up as a sacrifice to the father she is so blindly devoted to.

And yes, Minthara would be afraid. She would be TERRIFIED. Despite how strong and powerful Minthara is, she is also the only one afraid of Orin. Unlike Ketheric, or Gortash, or Sarevok, she is the only one who fully acknowledges just how dangerous Orin actually is and does not underestimate her. She will walk down into that temple, intending to duel Orin with a massive disadvantage because she is terrified.

Minthara choked when seeing Orin again in the mind flayer colony. She choked when seeing Orin as an imposter, throwing her deep into the ocean of paranoia and fear. And she is so entrenched in paranoia that it actually becomes palpable to everyone around her, even you. She describes herself as paranoid, but this is the first that you actually see how paranoid she is. And she choked again when Orin kidnapped someone in camp, making her feel inadequate, making a mockery of her for being unable to protect one of her own. And every day that passes, the more and more likely that the victim is going to die and she has doubts on their survival.

At every possible avenue in which Minthara could have done something or said something about Orin, she froze in place with fear. But she's had enough. She cannot be afraid of Orin forever and she doesn't want to be. One way or another, Orin has to die and she wants to get over that fear. She needs to know that Orin is dead, for herself.

This would also make the alurlssrin confession all the more impactful. She wants to tell you that she loves you in the best way that she can because of the very high likelihood that she will never have another chance to do so. She would beg you to come with her as you give her the courage. She has the courage to face her fears and confront her tormentor, because she knows she has you in her corner. If you have the courage to stand up to the very gods themselves, then she can stand up to Orin. Romanced or not, your presence alone is enough to give her the strength to do something she would otherwise be too terrified to do.

Minthara deserves the honor to solo duel Orin in a fight to the death. Minthara deserves the right to achieve vengeance for herself. No, I do not care that this confrontation would conflict with a Durge playthrough. In fact, it would provide a phenomenal source of some interesting, and toxic, drama between Durge and Minthara. Especially if they're in a relationship. This also does not mean that Minthara killing Orin instead of Durge would not have its consequences (because it most certainly will). Even if Minthara does not fight Orin, it would be so much better if Minthara was just given the fucking chance to yell at Orin like all the other companions in their personal quests.

[barbieaiden]

when you're the main character's little brother and doomed by the narrative because the author decided that the cult trauma wasn't enough. rip aaron

[alwayshere195]

I wish we got Diego and Five in the timeline subway instead of Lila and Five. The deep desire for us getting the same premise but with a different execution.

Imagine Diego going and asking why Five can't blink only to end up in the subway with him. Five reluctantly, explaining everything he knows. Something Diego isn't fully comprehending but understands.

The silly idea of Diego coming up with the timeline travel and getting stuck in the subway with Five. The possibilities of their interactions.

The idea of Apocalypse Five shooting at them, causing Diego to ask who's that. "Me, of course, who else was in the apocalypses?!" Five responds, heading back down into the subway. Diego follows, "Well, sorrrry! I thought you had better aim than that!" Five shoots him a look.

The idea of when they realized they're trapped, we hear dialog. Diego shouting that this is EXACTLY what Five wanted. Klaus was right! He is a chaos junkie!

Five, throwing his hands up: I don't know why everyone says that! I'm not. This isn't what I wanted.

Diego: You appear in your element!

Five: Of course I do! This is all I know, Diego! I got stuck in an apocalypse at 13! 13! I was trapped for 45 years in it! Besides living in it, need I remind that I witnessed it again and again and again?! But that doesn't mean I want it!

Diego: Then what do you want? Because (mocking) Need I remind, you went off to join the CIA. You barely kept in contact for the past 6 years. You-

Five: I want peace! I want silence! I want to not worry about you idiots! I want... Forget it. Let's keep looking to get out of here.

How it finally pushes these two to talk. Their relationship has been rocky but there's always trust between them. Plus, Five doesn't really open up. So for the day to come where Diego once again pushes Fives buttons but the correct ones this time to get a

Five: I'm tired, ok? I have seen you all die again and again and again. I'm tired. I tried time traveling, I tried talking, I tried murder, I've tried, and it all keeps going to hell. There's only so much before it feels impossible or that I'm the problem. Sure, Viktor caused the first three apocalypse but not those after that. Not all this (refering to the subway). Only I could come here...

Diego, sighing after hearing all this for the first time: Yeah, you are a problem. A problematic piece of shit like the rest of us. And for holding all this in like a secret to take to the grave. But you're not to blame for everything. If anyone's to blame, it's Dad.

How they grow closer and Diego realizes just how tired Five is. He's exhausted and barely holding on. It doesn't help that no one in the family ever truly thanked him. So he does. Gives Five a genuine "Thanks by the way. For spending 45 years and some figuring out how to save us. I appreciate it. I like being alive." And how Five gets quiet as thats all he ever truly wanted. A thank you.

How Diego opens up about his relationship issues and how his rants turn into frustration about it all. Him voicing how he'd LOVE "bookclub" because FUCK MAN he needs a "bookclub" too! He'd be in full support! And he wished she was more vocal about things like he is instead of playing the guessing game. And how it turns into all the things he wants to do when he sees her again. Tell her everything. Open up. Hold her. Kiss her. Be in the same love he always really had for her. Fives there supporting him.

Five finds the journal and ponders it. Keeps the information hidden from Diego for a day or two before he's caught reading it. Diego's rightfully upset but Five brings up points.

Five: I was reading it. Making sure I understood what to do before we had a talk.

Diego: A talk? What is there to talk about?

Five: What if it went to shit out there and everyone's died? What if-

Diego: No, Five. There is no ifs here. We're going back and we're going to see how things are. Worst case scenario, we go back in time and save their lousy asses. Together. Best case scenario, we see our family again. I get to see Lila and my kids again.

Five: Right...

They go back and they find out that Luther and Lila ended up going to the CIA because "My husband always talks about this place, and my brother-in-law works here. So maybe there's information." And it makes Diego's hesrt flutter.

Just... what we could have had.

[epicfroggz]

While i agree with you that it's very likely the abyssal serpent isn't an outer god and more of an eldrich parasite, you don't see other outer gods being obsessed with consuming and destroying the demigods they cursed. Most of them feel they're just forces of nature like the rot & the frenzied flame etc.. while the Abyssal serpent show some "wickedbess" and hatred towards Messmer it will do anything to destroy him .so you think that they're similar to Radagon/Marika? I think the white blind serpent is messmer while the red one he summoned which has red eyes and multiple eyes on its body is the serpent of the abyss, so they're kinda still different entities? While i think the abyssal serpent being Messmer is confusing but i appreciate your analysis, because it's far more interesting than the serpent being a new outer god.

Hi, thanks for the ask! I will attempt to clear it up!

I do not believe the Abyssal Serpent is attempting to consume or destroy Messmer, at least not intentionally. As is the theme of the DLC, perspective must be considered—the serpent is malevolent, but to who?

(long post under cut!)

The Abyssal Serpent is not stated to be harming Messmer, as far as I can tell. The only potential harm it could be doing is eating away at his kindling, but it is his flame that is the curse: “Messmer despised his own fire. Time and time again he hoped to rid himself of it, but ever did it burn” (Messmer’s Orb). So, it can be said the serpent is eating at the kindling instinctually and/or in an attempt to help snuff it out. Messmer explicitly has tried to get rid of his flame, but has not tried to get rid of the serpent—instead, he accepts it:

“The winged snakes were Messmer's constant companions. They were there when the base serpent was sealed away behind his eye. They were there through his eternity of suffering. They will accompany him yet, in his hideous new form born when he destroyed the grace granted by his mother. They have accepted his fate as much as he.” (Messmer’s Helm)

We’ll get back to the winged serpents in a moment, but note the timeline here: it first states the base serpent was sealed, THEN Messmer went through an eternity of suffering, THEN he removed the seal and was reborn anew. It might be hideous, but it’s his, not something his mother or anyone else has done to him. Thus, the serpent’s malevolence must have been directed at outside forces. Marika does not often directly interfere with something or someone unless it could bring personal harm to her or the Erdtree—such as when she personally slew the Fell God. Yet, she plucked out her own son’s eye and put in place the seal to contain the Abyssal Serpent, despite the consequences this may have for Messmer. The serpent was that much of a threat to her, hence why I believe it is the “traitor to the Erdtree” that was foretold. It was not even the flame part that concerned her, but the serpent’s great powers of Shadow, like I explained in the last posts.

(The whole sealing ordeal has an air of “I’m doing this for your own good” which I’m certain Messmer wholeheartedly believed. Being called an accursed traitor your whole life just for existing must’ve sucked so, yeah, seal away. I’ll go blind for you, Mother; I’ll take the blame for you, Mother; I’ll do anything you ask of me, Mother—and yet, she still didn’t trust him enough to not remove it one day, and left him abandoned in the Land of Shadow. If she had just loved him as he was instead…)

On the subject of the winged serpents—I believe you are confusing them a bit there. The winged serpents are a separate entity from Messmer and the Abyssal Serpent. Messmer himself is a black serpent with red eyes all over its body, while the winged serpents are red with green eyes; Messmer is blind, the winged serpents are not. The winged serpents only appear white in phase 2 because they are shedding, though under the shed texture you can see they are still red.

They are called “wise friends” and “constant companions”, lending to the winged serpents being separate entities from Messmer, and this can also be seen in their design. They don’t grow out of him in a seamless or natural way, instead seeming as though they’re impaled through him, and Messmer and the Abyssal Serpent do not share design traits with the winged serpents like they share traits with each other. The winged serpents are the natural wardens of the Abyssal Serpent, stated to “keep the base serpent at bay and hold its power in check” (Winged Serpent Helm). This says to me they have been performing this task since before the seal, otherwise there would be no need for them. Consider also that for all its malevolence, the Abyssal Serpent did not cause any catastrophes in particular, else we would have heard about it. It was only prophesied to. Between the winged serpents and Messmer’s own compassionate self, the serpent’s lust for destruction was not acted upon (or was channeled to fulfill his mother’s wishes instead). If I may indulge Freud for a moment, Messmer was balanced—the Abyssal Serpent was the instinctual id, the winged serpents the logical superego, and Messmer the mediating ego between them. Something about the winged serpents being specifically “wise” makes me think of that, like they are Messmer’s personal advisors. His equals, and revered as the symbol of his army.

I say all this in efforts to explain that Messmer was whole, and will be whole again. That his serpentine nature was despised was a matter of public opinion, of what was writ in the Golden Order, of what he asked everyone to do—“Direct thy maledictions, thine ire, and thy grief towards me alone” (Messmer’s Set). The serpent within may be a scary and lightless and hideous monster, but he accepts that. He is what he is. When he removes the seal, the only thing that changes is that he has disappointed his mother; he is still just as lucid as he was before. He is still Messmer.

“Embrace thine oblivion, as shall I.”

- Froggo

P.S. I may have downplayed in this post how the Abyssal Serpent is inherently destructive and painful to Messmer, and like, brooding a hundred snakes inside him (more on that later), but what I’m getting at is that this is a natural thing he was born with, while the seal was an unnatural thing that was done to him. The serpent is a disorder that does not wholly define him but is still a part of him, while the seal was an improper cure that only repressed his self. Marika often hides away that which she does not want to deal with—out of sight, out of mind, as they say…

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Ok. Ok. I honestly have no idea how Chani and Paul's relationship will be handled in the 3rd movie, and honestly? I don't care. I'm confident that however it's handled (so long as it's not some extremely OOC plot with her forgiving him and going back to him willingly, but I'm pretty confident it won't be that) it will change my brain chemistry.

But hold on. hOld on. Because as much as I love the thought of there being a lot of heat and tension and Feelings Feelings (99.9% of which are NOT positive) between the two of them, and it's likely that's the direction the film will go, I'm also somewhat intrigued by the alternative. That there's...nothing. Maybe not at first. But after twelve years, if Denis intends to keep the time jump as written, things fade. No hate, but no love either. As if they'd never known each other at all.

Because it's been twelve years. Nobody knows exactly how old the two of them are supposed to be in the films, but my personal headcanon is like 18/19. Meaning if Messiah keeps that time jump, it would put them in their early thirties. That's...a lot of time. That's a big difference in psychology, in emotional processing, in just...ways of life and ways of living. It's strange to me to assume that both of them would be exactly the same people - on their own or in regards to each other - after all that time.

And of course, that's not to say they'd forget each other entirely. Scars don't fade that easily. Everything Paul went through leaves a mark. Watching your lover succumb to the clutches of power and essentially becoming somebody entirely new, becoming your people's oppressor after swearing to fight alongside you in your rebellion as an equal (and for all you know, that was his plan all along) definitely leaves a mark. But twelve years is still a long time, longer still for people dealing with the level of shit these people deal with in day to day life. Whatever both of them could be up to for all that time leaves marks too, and adds to the pile of shit.

Especially, I think, for Chani. Because her anger and defiance against her oppressors began long before she met Paul. That is her purpose. Paul changed and grew along with her and because of her presence. He is forever touched by her and her memory, and won't, I don't think, ever be able to let go of that. And while Chani's rage and despair and pain at what he did is very real and very much not something I can see just fading away, I could also see her almost using what happened as an excuse to go back to whatever "normal" was before Paul for her. Almost as a coping mechanism. Because Paul did, in her eyes, essentially become a different being after the Water of Life. He's not the man she fell in love with. And maybe it would be easier for her to, rather than engage with that anger directly at him, just...let him fade into the background. He's not him anymore. He's just another evil to defeat.

I've just...realized I kind of have mixed feelings about the thought of her spending twelve years nursing her rage at Paul specifically. Of course it was a betrayal - probably the biggest betrayal she's ever known - and that kind of thing doesn't just go away. But she hated the empire before he was emperor. There's a depressing kind of power in going "ok, I guess it's no different than before, I'll just keep on going the same way I was before any of this happened." As if the months she spent with him were nothing, weren't even real. Just...the thought of Chani as an adult going on day to day with whatever she's doing to fight for her people's freedom, trying desperately to forget that the man who now holds that freedom in a yoke was once one she loved and trusted. And it getting slightly easier every day. Her dreams of her people's political victory mattered long before Paul came into the picture and will matter long after he left. It's not about him, it's still about the emperor. Whos is not the man she loved.

idk I *love* Chani's Feelings after part 2 and all that could come with that, I love it but part of me is also like...if they really do spend 12 years apart does she really have nothing better to do with her time (ESPECIALLY if it turns out she has a child) than plan her revenge against him specifically? Like. as the Emperor Of The Known Universe, yes, because he is at the top of the food chain of oppression she's spend her life trying to bring down. But not as Paul. Not as the man who betrayed her. Because all of that is wrapped up in personal, vulnerable feelings that I feel like to her would seem like a waste of time. She will not give water to the dead, and Paul is dead to her.

And all this would be more tragic because I'm sure, I'm sure that with Paul it's the complete opposite. He cannot forget her. He cannot have a life where he doesn't think of her. And a part of him would be still trying to protect her from his position probably, maybe even hoping in some distant part of his mind that she'll one day come back. Twelve years of grief and guilt cutting a hole in his chest versus twelve years of practicing how to forget.

And then. Again, I doubt this is the route they'll go because it's not as dramatically interesting, at least I'd love to see it in a fic (maybe I'll do it), but it would be so unusual to me to see them meet again, and their story not end in revenge or reconciliation. There's no forgiveness, there's also no surprise killing or coup or anything. Maybe Paul thinks it'll go one of those ways, but instead it's like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, for lack of a better comparison. His relief at her being alive, the indescribable regret, love that is still there, all of that met with...nothing. Because Paul, kid, it's been twelve years. She's moved on. She's fighting her fight, and you are her political enemy and that is all you are. She can't even hate you, because *you* aren't the one betrayed her. For there to have been betrayal, that would mean she had to have loved and trusted you, and she never did. She loved and trusted Usul, and you're Emperor Muad'dib. The two do no equate. She will never love you again. But she can't hate you, because she doesn't even see you as a person - let alone one she used to love.

@fuckyeahisawthat idk if you have a counterpoint or thoughts or whatever i just wanted to tag u

[sleepymaven]

The Bsd "Fyodor is Atsushi's Father" Theory:

My Not-so-Deep, Not-so-Serious Explanation on Why This Could Totally be Canon

Signed: A Sleep-Deprived Idiot

(Spoilers for the Entirety of Bungou Stray Dogs)

So... with Chapter 118 in bsd releasing, I have noticed a lot of Fyodor as Atsushi's father related things popping up and... I'm not mad about.

If anything, I'm happy the theory is getting more attention. People even seem to be taking it as canon fact, even if just jokingly.

Really, I believed the theory was plausible since it first was brought up in the fandom, but I never actually thought it would be canon because that just seemed too crazy. But those were the thoughts of a sweet summer child since the manga has gotten to the point where that might be the least crazy thing possible.

So, here I am at my keyboard yet again, ready to ramble about how, if this does somehow turn out to be canon, this might be actually rather predictable even to those who don't dive deep into the nitty-gritty lore.

Now, I won't ramble on and on endlessly about the book and Atsushi's ambiguous past and how he may be the book or a page from the book and yaddy-yadda. Instead, I'll focus on some key aspects of Atsushi's character design. First off...

His hair.

As I said, this is not all that serious or deep, so take my words with a grain of salt before you start bashing me or something for being ridiculous. You signed up for ridiculous when you started reading past the title.

Anyway, back to Atsushi's hair.

As we almost all know, Atsushi used to have a black streak in his hair that was later removed for unknown reasons, but he also has white hair.

Now, I could jokingly proclaim, "Hehe, biologically impossible Fyodor x Nikolai lovechild," and be done with it, but I am no clown, unlike Nikolai. No, I have a better, probably completely wrong, idea.

Most of us know that Fyodor has a thing for white-haired men.

Exhibit A: Every fucking member of the Decay of Angels

I rest my case.

Also, I feel the need to mention that 3 out of 6 of them have red-ish eyes while the other two have purple-ish/blue eyes. Just pointing out that little tidbit I noticed while finding pics for them.

So, it would make sense for Fyodor to pick and choose which attributes to give to his quote-on-quote "son" when he made him from the book, picking out certain traits he found appealing and pleasing to the eye.

(Also, yes, this could mean that Fyodor could have chose specific attributes that were similar to Nikolai. Boom, lovechild route.)

This could explain certain similarities between the characters who seemingly have no biological connection between one another. Their only connection then only being through Fyodor by just knowing him.

Got all that? Alright, next up...

His eyes.

Now, Atsushi's eyes are rather unique, even for the world of Bungou Stray Dogs. What also sticks out about them is the fact that they are pointed out and focused in from time to time.

Example:

(Fucking gorgeous eyes he has, btw)

To break down the colors of his eyes... While in normal lighting in the anime, they appear to be normally purple and yellow with just a hint of green in it, but under the full moon (as seen here) we can see that his eyes are a light green-yellow at the bottom and purple on the top that fades into blue.

(There are also a few times where his eyes also change while using his ability. Like when they turn almost fully yellow.)

I want to point out the colors of his eyes and the fact that they change due to certain circumstances (i.e: using his ability, being under the full moon), which is clearly not normal in their world seeing as how other ability users don't seem to do that at all.

(Edit here: I actually would like to mention that, in the manga, Nikolai's eyes also change color. The green one sometimes will change to match his normal eye whenever he uncovers it. I saw a theory talking about how it might change depending on whether or not he is lying at the time, which is pretty neat. More Atsushi and Nikolai parallels.)

Now, this might seem like a bit of a stretch just like the rest of this post, but the colors used for his eyes are similar to the eye colors of people Fyodor knows, though they are different shades.

Purple like Fukuchi. Green and blue from Nikolai.

Fyodor's eyes are also a shade of purple, kind of, so... Yeah, that works too, but Fukuchi's shade of eyes are closer to Atsushi's.

Yeah, that's all I can think of now and this is already way too long (if I start talking about Atsushi's mysterious past, I'm going to make this a mile long. Maybe later tho), so I'm ending it here for now.

Alright, bye ya'll.

[miyakuli]

What if

"I don't want to be this way, not forever" line from the trailer goes with this scene (certainly from Apology Tour episode)

We can clearly see the white & red outfit that Blitz wears in the trailer so I really wonder if there will be actually a continuation of their conversation that may turned bad in the coming episode Full Moon.

If it's the case, I really can imagine that Blitz may give hope to Stolas about their relationship. Something like "I accept your feelings, but I'm not ready yet...so give me some time to think about it".

"not forever" he said, that definitely means he wants it to work.

And that could explain why they seem to be later in a more relaxed posture, seeing the other scenes of the trailer like this one (Stolas doesn't look sad or angry, more playful so maybe he allows himself to flirt with Blitz again? and Blitz is lying comfortably in...his car? idk xD).

It'd like a new start of their relationship where Stolas would be more open about his feelings to him and Blitz would accept them and starts to acknowledge them while sorting his feelings to see how this relationship will go.

And that's whyyyyyyyy, he will be here to protect him later ;)

Boyfriend to the rescue <3

[ficandkaboodle]

Sister Imperator took one look at her undiagnosed AuHD son who was going through months/years of thanatophobia, clocked in that he also had difficulty focusing, and thought, “You know what job would be perfect for you once your time as Papa concludes? :)”

Like, no setting him up for life to relax somewhere on a farm to train rats, not even a slightly less demanding desk job within the Church, it’s just straight to the top. It’s almost as though she has difficulty conceptualizing why anyone would want anything that doesn’t have to do with the Church. 🤔

[hezekiahwakely]

I would actually kill to hear your post 200 jmart messy divorce thoughts you alluded to in those tags

Woof OK let's get into it then

My foundational piece of thought for this comes from the fic it will be this, always by bluejayblueskies on ao3. That fic is basically the closest I consider canon to the 'jon and martin managed to survive somewhere else, with consequences' ending (if you're an 'optimist' like me and you choose to believe in that option :P) Their relationship in that fic has similar tones to the show-- the writing captures the feeling of TMA well--and the fic in general is very bleak and cathartic, clinging to the edge of a damaged relationship that's about to fall apart. So, I enjoyed this fic A Normal Amount and it's stuck with me ever since.

Now I don't actually have the brain cells or the energy levels to write the fics that're floating around in my head atm, but here are my scattered thoughts on the subject of jmart post-mag 200:

Basically, they can never truly come to terms over the final decision

(Jons desire to end the world's suffering, vs Martin's POV, the betrayal of their relationship and Jon's self hating suicidality)

At least, definitely not in the first few months when they're forced to live together bc they're stranded in this brave new world and have no one else.

Both fall back on negative habits. Jon starts smoking, withdrawing, becoming paranoid; obsessively searching for signs of the fears.

Not one person in the world understands what he's been through. What kind of sacrifice he made. And they don't know how much he failed them all.

And his body hurts. All of his wounds hurt. His head struggles to clear and the empty space in it seems so silent. He sometimes gets mentally lost without the eye to guide him.

He almost wishes they had died. He wishes he hadn't cut the tether. But hes so happy Martin is alive---even if he seems to hate him right now. That's ok, hes alive. Even if he can't smile at him anymore.

Jon craves any sort of comfort. But the only man who had ever wanted to give him that is now enormously angry with him and maybe rightly so. And besides, of course, he's so unworthy of comfort that it's shameful to even desire it. He deeply wishes he could stop wanting it, to stop feeling so disgusted with himself.

He feels disgusted with himself regardless. Helpless and hopeless and confused in this floundering relationship and so very guilty of the things hes done.

He's sinking deeply, deeply into self hatred and despair.

But he still lashes out at Martin occasionally bc he's a bastard

(And bc he deserves to a little bit, y'know? He's angry about a lot of things right now and he has a right to be! And some of those things might be bc Martin uhhhhhhhh. Did not always treat him with the most compassion, understanding, or patience during the apocalypse.)

NO I don't think their relationship in show is toxic or abusive. I think it's realistic that two people who love each other very much in terrible circumstances are going to fuck up. and them hurting each other makes for good drama. anyways

Martin also withdraws, becomes cold and passive aggressive. Assumes the caretaking role for Jon (again) and walls off his feelings

He just can't forgive Jon for leaving him like that. For betraying his trust. For abandoning him. For hurting him immeasurably deeply by forcing him to kill him

And he can't understand his reasoning for doing so, when he thought that there was a chance for them to get out and be ok, and it could have all been so easy, but Jon didn't seem willing to take it. He chose to die instead because of his guilt, and martin is so, so angry at him for that.

And now he's stuck. Again. Forced into caring for someone who has treated him badly, AGAIN.

And he has no one to talk to. No one outside of Jon to go to for comfort, and being around Jon hurts. He is increasingly alone. Again.

Martin's fine. Everything is fine. He doesn't want to talk about it. Would you like some tea? I.e., it's time to shut the fuck up, Jon.

His anger and resentment sometimes turn his tongue as sharp and cold as an icicle. In those moments of icy rage, Martin thinks his voice sounds like his mother's.

Except when he finally can't hold it in and he explodes at jon like a sadness volcano, because Jon can't even look him in the face anymore. And then he leaves to go cry alone in their bedroom

Eventually communication breaks down. Then I have a few fun ideas for what might happen

Jon has a full-on mental break. Becomes catatonic. He's paralyzed by the need to stay here for Martin... but he's also held in place by the webs he sees now tying around his whole timeline. He was never going to be able to stop what they had planned for him. None of his choices ultimately matter --so he stops doing or wanting anything. It will all be taken away from him eventually. Whatever's going to happen will happen regardless of what he does

At the same time, he is experiencing so much pain and so much guilt and self hatred and lack of love in their relationship that he's desperate to escape it. When he finds no relief from any quarter, he becomes extremely suicidal. The only two things holding him to life are 1. not leaving Martin alone, and 2. his hopeless resignation to the web.

Starts having severe panic attacks.

Has that PTSD 'avalanche' where, now that he's finally somewhere he can be relatively safe, everything that happened to him is hitting him all at once.

He's scared of everything. He's scared of what might happen to Martin. He's scared of himself. He's scared of Martin.

Then there's the vomiting, anorexia, agoraphobia, bodily neglect, other passive self harms, the whole nine yards. He's physically falling apart.

Jon has a very bad time.

And he's moved almost entirely beyond Martin's reach

Martin is suddenly forced to come to terms with the fact that Jon needs immediate, intensive medical help if he's going to survive

Fate turns slightly in their favor, and they find a good physical rehab doctor, a good psychiatrist, and a good therapist for both of them. Perhaps at this point they're separated, maybe just bc of a hospitalization, but they're attending counseling together.

In my happiest ending, Jon responds well to the meds and is able to start talking to someone about his overwhelming feelings. Martin is actually able to find therapeutic help for his trauma, finds other people to help him and Jon so it's not all on him anymore, and he starts getting more of the love and support he deserves from his boyfriend

they recommit themselves to the relationship and to making it work. slowly, they start healing.

While also beginning to rediscover all the reasons they loved each other in the first place :)

In a sadder ending, one of them dies ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Eventually both, if we're being honest. One would not last long without the other. Not with that kind of connection

Or perhaps they do separate. Maybe they keep in close touch, in which case I think it would lean more towards a happy ending. Orrrrrr they make a hard break of it. Maybe it's sudden, urgent, painful and messy. Maybe they dont see each other again for years.

Regardless of what they do, I don't think they could truly be apart forever. They would visit. Even if it hurt every time. They would want to see each other again.

Because they care about each other.

But maybe, in one timeline, they need some space to heal and rebuild their lives and themselves. Maybe when theyre ready, they'll try again.

I may continue this later with my other branching ideas possibly but I wanted to get this bit out while it was fresh and I was thinking about it. This line of thought continually haunts the back of my subconscious so I'm always happy to share it

[s0lemnhypn0s]

By all means, Crocodile is only implied trans and not yet confirmed as a trans man. However, the fact the entire fandom talks about him in such creepy and transphobic ways is reason enough for me to refuse to budge on him being a trans man. Nope. Not just a theory, thats a trans man. As far as I'm concerned it's canon.

[fromtheseventhhell]

"It's normal for siblings to fight" Okay well it's not normal to be extremely classist and look down on your sister for being non-conforming. Or to go to the woman who ordered the death of your pet to tell her about your father's plans, when he specifically warned you against doing so, because you want to marry the boy you saw attack your sister and her friend (contributing partially to said father's death and your sister being unable to escape on the ship he chartered). Or to think of your sibling as unsatisfactory in comparison to another when you believe her to be dead. I notice that none of the "Sansa and Arya are going to reunite and instantly have no issues" crowd ever acknowledge any of this, which makes it seem like they don't actually believe what they say about their relationship being normal and easily reconciled. People wanting them to have no issues simply because they're siblings is another example of how fandom likes to flatten complex characters and relationships. They get reduced to being bickering siblings when their conflict runs deeper than that. If the author is telling you that they have "deep issues" to work out [X], I don't understand being so adamant about ignoring said issues. I also get the sense it's about ignoring the capacity for a certain character to be flawed, but that isn't going to change the fact that her "slip of the tongue" is very likely to be revealed and a source of further conflict 🤷🏾‍♀️

[lycorisicecream]

I'm bored so have some random characters that I kin 👍👍👍

Feel free to reblog with a list or image of your kins, I'd love to see it