#but I need to get this posted before I can post a different thing which I need to post before I go in for surgery

[vaspider]

Listen to me. Listen very carefully:

They are trying to wear you out.

They are trying to wear you out, and they own most major social media now, along with many major media outlets. The disinformation machine is cranking along. You are going to have to slow the fuck down and read things before you help them wear out other people, too.

So you just saw a post about a real scary bill, hunh? Republicans want to make it a capital offense to pet dogs and repeal The Sky Is Blue Act of 1793, declaring the new official color of the sky to be squant? Damn, that sounds scary.

Let's go look up this fictitious "Make The Sky Squant Again Act" on GovTracker* & on the official legislative tracker on congress.gov!

Well, let's see... GovTracker estimates it has a 1% chance of even getting out of committee and a 0% chance of being enacted, while congress.gov says this bill has 2 cosponsors who have been in the House and combined total of less than a month. The bill doesn't have any actual text, and it was referred to 5 different committees.

That fictitious bill and a hundred others like it are quite literally not worth your time, and more than that, continuing to wring your hands about it and tell other people about the scary scary squant sky bill only does their work for them. It scares people, it makes them spend time and energy on it, and it wears them out. It is a legislative Gish Gallop, meant to throw so many things at people that we can't keep up.

Even calling or messaging your Rep in this case means their staffer has to waste time responding to you and letting you know that Representative Buttzonheads definitely won't support making petting dogs a capital offense, a thing that will never, ever happen regardless.

Staying engaged in this environment is going to require protecting your heart and protecting your energy, yes, but also protecting the energy of others. This is why WWII propaganda posters also included ones taking people to task for spreading panicky rumors and undermining morale.

Do you know why most observant Jews don't eat chicken and dairy together, even though the ban is on red meat and dairy together bc you're not supposed to cook the calf in the milk of its mother?** It's not because we think that chicken might secretly lactate or Just Because. It's because the rabbis decided that if I'm sitting out in public and eating turkey and cheese together, someone might glance at the turkey and mistake it for red meat and think, "oh, well, I know that Spider is a good Jew, there must have been a change, or maybe I can just justify it to myself that if Spider does it, it must be permissible to bend the rules just that much." And I would then be accidentally leading my fellow Jew astray. We are responsible for being even more careful for the sake of others than we are for ourselves.

It's the same principle here. We need to really be careful about the information we are spreading and check things past reading a news site. Is it true? Is it relevant? Is it meaningful? Is the news site one I recognize? Can I find meaningful independent corroboration on another site, which is to say, if I find an article about it on a second site, is it just quoting or rephrasing this site?

Yeah, that is a lot. But that's how we keep them from using us to lead our fellows astray.

*GovTracker is an independent site. They explain their methodology in their About section.

**I cannot say enough how I am not at this time interested in going on a Jewish Side Quest About Dietary Laws on this post. Usually, I love it, but hold off this time, please, y'all. Let's stay on target this once.

[rage-against-the-dying-of-light]

To add to this, if you want to wake up earlier, you need to start small and fix your sleep in general. Turning sleep into a habit and routine will help too, as it teaches your body to wake up without alarms.

But you’ll have to commit to going to bed at exactly the same time every single night to get this benefit, which can be the hardest part.

Anyways, all of these are things you can and should work up to in tiny steps, but fixing your sleep will make it easier to do all the other morning stuff you want.

Anyways: Elliot’s guide to good sleep hygiene which will help you wake up at the same time every single day without even needing an alarm clock so you can have more time in the morning! (Seriously I only barely use mine!)

1. Go to bed at exactly the same time every night. Yep, I mean it! This can take a little finagling, but for example I know I need X amount of sleep and wanna be up at a certain time every morning so I go to bed every night at 11 PM. This will look different for every person, and I’m aware not everyone has the privilege to sleep during their ideal time period!

2. Follow the 3 hour rule to prevent night time wake-ups which ruin your sleep and make it harder to wake in the morning. The 3 hour rules means: 3 hours before your chosen bedtime, don’t eat a bunch of food, drink a bunch of water or exercise a bunch! (Especially no caffeine or alcohol in this window!) Food and drink take a while to digest when you’re sleeping and can keep you up (a light plain snack like a banana or yogurt before bed if you absolutely need it can prevent wakeups from being insanely hungry too), and exercise makes it hard to get your heartrate to the slow point it needs for REM sleep.

3. Turn electronics to night mode so the blue light doesn’t disrupt your circadian rhythm at least 30 minutes before bed. (Even I’m not very good at no electronics before bed, so yellow light is my recc instead of abstinence here!) but if you can do more lowkey activities online in the 30 minutes before bed that’s recommended, like reading posts instead of watching videos.

4. This one can be the hardest step and I recommend it as a last step to work on: when your alarm goes off, GET UP IMMEDIATELY! Force yourself up and do not hit snooze even once. Allowing yourself to hit snooze even once keys your body back into the sleep-wake cycle, it’s better to wake up completely and help your body get into the wake up routine like that.

Anyways, do each of these steps as small as you can and you will likely find it easier to wake up each morning giving you more time to do other things!

here's some more unsolicited adult advice as someone in her 30s who knows there are a lot of twenty somethings and teens that follow her: if you're trying to build a new habit you really want, and are struggling, you have to break it down to the smallest building block possible. If you're failing, you haven't thought small enough. I know it's possible to hear stories of people who just snapped into new life mode one day by "just deciding", but truly what's happening there is a confluence of events and experiences that force the brain into some sort of epiphany. You cannot will an epiphany. It'll never work. For most times of your life, you will need to build habits intentionally, and that means not working against yourself and to set micro goals. like laughably tiny goals. because once that easy tiny goal is met, you can build off it, tiny goal after tiny goal until you reach your big goal.

so for example, if you want to be a morning person that gets up at ass crack dawn so that you can work out, eat brekkie, shower, and get to work at a leisurely pace, and you're not that person because you will hit your snooze button 800 times, you have to get the big picture goal out of your head. think smaller. "I want to get up 15 minutes earlier than I normally do." If you can't do that, make it 5 minutes. "I want to cook breakfast every day" hell no too big. "I want to eat something, anything, before I leave the house" hell yeah, fantastic. When you go to the grocery store to make sure there are things in the house for breakfast, if you keep buying bagels and microwave sandwiches that you ignore, you gotta think smaller. SMALLER. What's something so easy to eat that you'll never say no to. Is it a yogurt? Is it a handful of grapes? Is it a hostess ho ho? is it hot cheetos? FORGET the big picture of the fantasy put-together woman preparing a full nutritious meal that you'd be proud to admit to. Think only of the smallest goal you can achieve. If you know you can't say no to an ice cream sandwich, put a ton of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer and have one for breakfast every day until it's so instilled in you that you gotta get up to eat something you can start diversifying.

It sounds like, from the lack of habit place, that must take forever. But really it doesn't take too long to form the habit once the discipline kicks in. the trick is that you have to give your brain something easy to become disciplined to. If it's too hard, think easier and smaller. No one has to know. Literally no one in the gd world has to know that for 4 weeks when you were 22 you had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast every day. who cares. If it gets you eating oatmeal with fresh fruit in a few months who cares. you did it, yay. smaller, easier. if you can't do it, think smaller and easier. smaller!! EASIER!!! You are not thinking smaller and easier enough. break your brain thinking how small and easy you can go. SMALLER. EVEN SMALLER, SIS.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, last week I made this post and in it, I said that what makes buddie is time, everything that happened to them, and then I corrected myself by saying what actually makes them something you can't fight against was Christopher but that that was a different post. Well, this is that different post.

So buddie. We have 2 main characters whose main screen partners are each other. Something that makes Buck and Eddie different is that Eddie was written in for Buck. Connie leaving left a gap on the show, they lost the dispatcher and Buck lost the thing he was written for, since s1 Buck is very much there to be the love interest, to give Abby something, and the bridge between the firehouse and dispatch. Since the space was surrounding Buck, they filled that space through him. They added Maddie in. But Maddie alone didn't really fill the void, a sibling dynamic doesn't really fill that space because Buck would need a more constant scene partner, so in comes Eddie. Giving him a partner in the field plus adding Maddie in fills that gap. So they gave Buck a best friend.

The thing is, in a universe where Christopher isn't a variable, where Eddie is just some guy Buck's age going through a messy divorce at the same time Buck is coming to terms with Abby abandoning him making them bond, the basis of their relationship is something completely different, and it is something you can fight against if you really want to separate them and give them other endgame love interests. If they are just best friends, you have a lot less at stake, so you can put the space between them a lot easier if necessary. A new love interest would be fighting against one person. That's a fair fight. That's a fight a new person can win if introduced correctly.

But in the universe we have, Christopher is the thing that makes them bond. The foundation of their relationship is Buck stepping up to help Eddie and Eddie deciding that that would warrant Buck his full loyalty and the relationship builds on that. Major movements in their dynamic are marked by Chris (and death, but again, different post). Chris' existence brings them together, with Buck deciding to introduce Eddie to Carla, then the tsunami shows us that there is a deeper trust between them, and then the will reveal intensifies all that and seals them together as an unconventional family (it all makes me wonder about the way they took Chris off the board, why would they do that if they aren't about to use him to snap the last piece into place to get them together since Eddie makes statements through Chris).

All this means that a love interest isn't fighting a best friend, which is something you can make work, a love interest is up against a life partner and child. Since Eddie is a single parent and the person that Buck turns to, they aren't really best friends to the audience, they are partners. And the show made a conscious effort to develop Buck's bond with Christopher outside of his relationship with Eddie. They have been adding that in since Eddie's introduction, the tsunami makes it clear, but season 4 is the one that puts the focus on Buck and Chris by showing us Buck at the house in a casual setting then making Buck a trusted adult Chris runs when upset with Eddie to then making Buck step up to take care of Chris before he knew about the will. They built upon that in s5 and then during s6 they really drove home the point that Buck sees Chris as his and that's when we start getting casually parenting, with the cookies, then the conversation they have in s7. The 3 of them have their individual connections, so for all intents and purposes, they are a family.

The chances of you actually convincing an audience that a new person (especially a new person that only exists as a love interest, since we established on the other post that audiences aren't inclined to care about characters they don't see a lot) is a better fit than an established family unit are null. It will literally not happen.

To give someone new a chance they would need to separate Buck and Eddie, they need to effectively break their partnership while building the fuck out of the new person, but that means making Buck abandon Christopher. And that's the point that would make audiences riot. The whole time Chris has been on the show, Buck was made into someone Christopher could count on like a parent. By s3 Buck and Eddie were having custody battles at a grocery store. And if you need to keep Buck in Chris' life, you can't separate Buck from Eddie. And that's what makes them IT. They can get away with separating Buck and Eddie, they cannot get away with making Buck step out on Christopher. So there's no way around them into someone else. It would never feel as satisfying because they can't really exist in a space that's like "I'm Eddie, this is my husband Buck, that's our kid Christopher, and that's Buck's boyfriend whatever" it gets boring. Especially when the show isn't exactly trying to establish the other love interest as someone worth rooting for, as explained on the other post.

[messedupfan]

Chapter 25

Summary: Persistent as ever, Jean and Anna recruit Jean's mother to help with their cause. Which sparks an important conversation between Wanda and Y/n.

A/n: Helloooo! I know I'm slow with posting lately. Work has been CRAZY. Hopefully I'll get in a better rhythm soon. Especially with the hell that is coming upon us these next four years. We'll need each other to get through! Have a good day and enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist  | All Chapters

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You are folding laundry for you and Rachel when your phone goes off in your pocket. You pause for a moment and pull your phone out to see that it's Jean's mom calling you. It's not unusual for her to call but it's not as common as it used to be. 

“Hey Mrs. Grey, how's it going?” You say cheerfully. 

Mrs. Grey makes a disapproving sound. “Y/n I've told you many times since the divorce, you can still call me mom.” 

You laugh at her slight upset over the misuse of her formal name. “How are you doing, Mom?” You ask as you lean your head to the side to hold your phone between your head and shoulder. 

“That's better,” she cheers. You hear some rustling around on her end. “I am doing well. I just came back to town to check on the house. The last tenants just moved out and I came to assess damages before I hire the cleaning crew and repair guy.” 

“Oh, do you need a lot of repairs done? You know that I'm always happy to help,” you offer while you resume folding.

“No, no, dear. I couldn't ask you to do that for us,” she says and now you're more confused. 

“Oh, I just figured that's why you're calling,” you say as you set the newly folded shirt on a stack of others. 

“No dear, I was calling to ask you to lunch. Are you busy this afternoon?” She says happily. You look at your watch and consider your options. You're not certain you want to be spending time alone with your former mother-in-law. But there are worse ways to spend an afternoon.

“I would love to meet with you. Where did you make reservations?” You ask, knowing that she most likely already made reservations. She laughs and mentions that you know her too well. “I will see you at one,” you promise and say your goodbyes. While you finish folding and start getting ready you run through the scenarios of how the lunch is going to go. 

As you arrive at the restaurant, your stomach begins to turn. It's a nice place. The last time you went to a nice place with one of Jean's parents, it was with her father asking you to convince Jean to not go through with the divorce. Since then you haven't been asked to dinner or lunch with either of them. 

Mrs. Grey greets you with a hug as you arrive at the table. She gives you a kiss on each cheek and she squeezes your arms as she looks at you. “You look great, I love what you've done with your hair. It's nice to see it cleaned up and natural like that.” 

You smile at the compliment. She has seen you with many different hairstyles over the years. She has almost never had anything nice to say about your hair until now. Your hair was growing out uneven because of the mullet so you had to cut it short in order for it to grow out properly. “Yeah, well, it wasn't working for me for a bit there. You look wonderful! How are things with you and Mr. Grey? I hear the two of you have been doing a lot of traveling.” 

Mrs. Grey nods and moves to sit, “We've been good. All of our kids are so spread out, it's nice to have a reason to go somewhere. Meet all of our new grandbabies. I just love being a grandma now,” she grins as she lays out the cloth napkin on her lap. You follow as you look around the restaurant, feeling a bit out of place. It was a very nice restaurant. 

“Oh yeah, I had heard that Roger finally had a kid,” you say as you lift up the menu to look at the pricing. 

“Yeah, yeah, he's doing great, very happy to be a father,” she says as she goes through the menu herself. “Don't be shy now, order what you want. It's my treat!” She reminds you in a cherry tone. Something tells you that things might eventually take a turn for the worst and you do not want to leave her with a big bill. You want to be able to leave money to cover your portion of the bill. 

“I appreciate that, Mom,” it feels a little foreign to call her that after all of these years. But if it makes her happy, then that's what you'll do to appease her. 

You proceed to order what you can afford. You ask her about how your former in-laws are. She mentions that they miss having you officially part of the family. That none of them get along with Anna which makes you laugh since none of them actually have to deal with Jean's wife the way that you do. 

You update her on your life, leaving out that you're seeing someone. Especially when she presses for the information. You don't let up because it's not the time to. Besides, you're almost certain if you tell her anything she will tell Jean then she and her wife will be on your case about it. Then Jean will recruit Kate and the information will continue to spread like rapid fire. 

When you're able to drop the subject of your love-life you talk about how proud you are of your daughter. How great she's doing in school. The friends that she has made. How kind she is. How strong she is becoming. 

Elaine watches you go on and on about her first granddaughter. She is impressed by the way you and her daughter have really stepped up and took on your roles as parents for her grandchild. She knows that she was harsh when the news first came out. But it's clear that neither of you hold her poor reactions against her. 

Finally, once you've both finished your meals, you ask her what is really going on. Elaine dabs her lips with her cloth napkin. She sips her wine. She clears her throat and she looks up at you. 

“My daughter wants to expand her family,” she states in a professional tone. She is a very good negotiator. Her entire adult life and career has been about getting her way. But you aren't nervous, not about this. “And I'm asking you to reconsider helping her do that.” 

You nod your head with a growing smirk as you wipe your mouth with your napkin. “She recruited you,” you state with amusement dancing in your eyes. 

“She is my daughter, I would do anything for her. You should know something about that,” she states with her cold stare. 

“Yes, well, my answer is still the same. She can find someone else to grow her family with. It's not going to be me,” you state as firmly as she was speaking to you. 

Elaine sets her checkbook on the table and you know exactly where this is heading. She tried this with you many times before. Had you accepted any of them, Rachel wouldn't have been born, she wouldn't have you in her life, and the divorce would have been an annulment shortly after you had gotten married. 

“Stop, you know that you can't buy me off Mrs. Grey. I won't do it,” you stand firm. You pull out your wallet and leave whatever cash you have on hand but she stops you. 

“What if I can guarantee you have custody?” She says and you scoff. She was not about to start negotiations. “Jean says she won't budge on it but I think I can convince my daughter what a great influence you are as a parent. Certainly better than that so-called wife of hers,” she rolls her eyes. 

You almost want to laugh at the irony of this conversation. “I can't believe you, the woman who tried to pay me to convince her daughter to have an abortion, is now asking me to get her daughter pregnant.”

“Times have changed. She's not getting any younger and she cannot afford to pay for treatment to-” 

“Why don't you pay for it for her then?” You interrupt her. She clamps her mouth shut. Astonished by your abrupt question. You don't typically stand up for yourself in such a way. You are known to walk away to think or remain quiet. But speaking up to her like this, it's unusual. “If I decide to have another child, it will not be with your daughter. I will not have her and everyone else she mentions this to bully me into changing my mind.” You sigh as the upset quickly leaves your body. “Thank you for the meal, I would love for us to stay in touch and meet again under different circumstances. Better circumstances.” 

You walk out of that restaurant and breathe in the fresh air to calm yourself down. You want to call Jean to tell her off but you don't. Instead, you call Wanda and ask if she is available. It had been a couple of weeks since her son's birthday where she admitted that she was having conflicting feelings about you and her. You gave her space the last couple of weeks to see if she would reach out on her own. But you needed her now. 

Luckily, she hears the upset tone in your voice and asks you to come over without question. Next thing you know, you're parking your truck in her garage. You walk into her house and she greets you in the laundry room with a hug. 

She takes your hand and leads you to her room. “My mom is having a book club meeting,” she says softly as the two of you quietly climb the stairs. You look over your shoulder to see her mom surrounded by a group of women her age engrossed in a conversation discussing presumably the book that's in their hands. 

You sit on the edge of Wanda’s bed and look at your hands. You let out a big breath. You have missed being in her presence the last couple of weeks and part of you hates that this is the way that you return to her presence. 

Wanda stands by the door, she has her fingers laced together as she observes you. She has missed having you around. She knows that she is the one who asked for space but she didn't consider that you would actually respect that request. No matter how good this time apart has been for her. It gave her time to reflect and realize that the only red flags you have are the red flags she has. Nothing extreme, nothing she can't handle. She has been meaning to call you and invite you over but she couldn't explain why she needed the space so she waited until she could. She expected the next time she'd see you, you would have that award winning smile of yours. She didn't expect to see you this way. This upset. 

“What happened, Y/n?” She finally asks. You look up at her and blink a couple of times.

“I…” you sigh and lick your lips. “Jean got her mom to ask me to help her have another baby.” You rip the bandaid off not seeing any other way to approach the subject. Wanda gasps as she sits next to you. 

“I thought they moved on from that,” Wanda says as she puts her hand on your back.

You nod, “So did I, but they completely blind sided me. Her mom was willing to pay me off.” 

Wanda shakes her head. “Unbelievable. I cannot believe her. I cannot believe she would do that! After everything that happened the last time she asked you. I cannot believe she would get her mom involved in this to pay you off!” 

You agree, it is insane that they would bring this up again. Let alone bring her mother into this. You cannot believe that it has come to this. You almost want to cave just so that they'd leave you alone about this. You sigh as you reach for Wanda's hand. “Should I give them a baby? I mean, not in the way they wanted but I don't know. Should I just… donate to them. Am I the one that's just being crazy and stubborn?” You ask as you think about the amount of stories you've found online where families have done this sort of thing. That a couple that cannot produce a child on their own approached their ex partner to have another baby together. And they accept with no issues. You're starting to think you were being selfish.

“Y/n, you're not being crazy. You don't want to do that. It's your choice, you have a choice in this and you chose not to do it. That is something they have to respect. The whole thing is completely unfair to you.” Wanda reminds you as she turns your head to face her by pulling your chin. “Yes, had you agreed the first time, it could have been seen as this selfless beautiful thing that you did. But I've watched you tear yourself apart about this. It would have destroyed you to agree to it. You would have regretted it the moment that she announced that she was pregnant. You would have regretted it every week you had to pick up Rachel and pretend that her sibling is not your child too. You would have hated yourself when one day that child found out the truth and felt like you abandoned them. You made the right decision not only for yourself now but for everyone in the future.”

You listen to Wanda as she speaks so strongly about your decision. Defending you against your thoughts of yourself and against the perception of everyone else against you. 

She has a point. This scenario can only be a beautiful one if everyone was in agreement. But you don't want this. That was never in your mind in terms of expanding your family. The thought never occurred to you that they'd one day approach you about helping them with that especially since Anna seemed disinterested in the idea of ever caring for a baby. She would tell people the reason she wanted to adopt was because she could avoid the baby stage. 

Now she wants to ask this huge thing of you because she is insecure of her role in Rachel's life? You could not believe it. 

“You're right,” you say as you hold eye contact with her. You hadn't realized just how much you've missed gazing into those green eyes of hers until now. “I'm sorry to dump this on you. How are you doing? Have you figured out what you needed to?” 

Wanda shakes her head as she scoots closer to you. “This is something serious. I'm glad you came to me with this instead of sitting alone in your apartment or going to Bucky and Steve whose solutions are typically to just let you vent and drink. Which is not helpful because then they just dump you onto me.” You let out a soft huff of a laugh as you nod because it's true. She caresses your cheek with the back of her fingers as she pulls her bottom lip under her teeth with her tongue. Her eyes bounce around, gazing into your eyes, glancing at your lips. “And I have, by the way. Figured out what I needed to, I mean. I've missed you and I think I'm ready to start telling people about us. Not today or tomorrow but… soon.” She says nervously. You break out into a big grin and pull her against you in a celebratory hug. 

“That just made my day, truly,” you say as you continue to hold her close. Wanda starts to push against you by your shoulders to create some space. As you're about to apologize, she keeps you quiet with her lips on yours. It has felt like a lifetime since you've been able to hold her and kiss her. You're not certain when the last time was and you don't care to think about it as you lay on top of her on her bed.

“We have to be quiet,” she whispers as your lips are on her neck and her fingers are working on your jeans. “I don't want us to embarrass my mom in front of her friends.” 

You chuckle at the statement. “You mean you have to be quiet,” you remind her as your hands slip under her shirt. She lets out a soft whisper and you chuckle again. “See?” 

She rolls her eyes and mutters, “Shut up.”

After, you are holding Wanda in your arms as the pair of you settle down. You start to think about the future. Consider when exactly you will be ready to have another baby. It just seems like it's too late. Rachel is in middle school, she is grown up. When the kids are grown you're not supposed to have more, you're supposed to wait to have grandkids. Then you remind yourself that you are still young enough to have kids. In fact, this is how you have them the proper way. Or at least the way that stable adults have families. 

There's also the fact that Wanda might not want to have more kids. She did try to expand her family but it didn't work and instead her family fell apart. You hate that she blames herself for what Vision did to their family. You clench your jaw at the thought and your arm tenses up. Wanda notices and starts to rub your arm softly. 

“What's on your mind?” Wanda asks with eyes closed as she presses her head further into her pillow. 

You hesitate to speak. This isn't the time to ask about the future of your family with her. This is the time to hold her and worship her. To be present with her and not spinning around in your head. You kiss her cheek as you try to calm down and return to the moment with her. She looks so relaxed and comfortable. You don't want to change that. She deserves to be relaxed for a moment. 

“Nothing, it can wait until tomorrow,” you whisper as you loosen your hold on her. 

“Mmm no, we can talk now. If you need,” Wanda fights her sleep as she tries to open her eyes. You shake your head with a smile. 

“Go to sleep, we can talk about it tomorrow,” you repeat yourself as you caress her cheek. Wanda tries to hold onto consciousness a bit longer. It was a little early for bedtime but she was exhausted and perfectly satisfied. Every muscle in her body was asleep after the massage you had given her. As well as the many other things you did to pleasure her.

She doesn't fight you or her body anymore. She falls into a deep sleep and you follow shortly, once you're able to shut off your mind. 

You wake to her alarm and you curse yourself as you remember that you didn't set your phone up to charge. This wasn't meant to happen the way it did. But you only have yourself to blame as you find your dying phone. You quickly set it up to charge while you get ready. You brush your teeth and get dressed in the clothes you wore the day before. Wanda showers and goes through her morning routine. While she does, you head down stairs to make coffee for her and yourself. 

As you're pouring the coffee into the mugs, Wanda is walking down with wet hair and a casual outfit. “No meetings today?” You ask as you slide her mug towards her. She typically dresses up a bit more when she has meetings with her co-workers and/or clients and potential clients. She shakes her head as she lifts her mug to her face and sits on the stool at the counter. You nod and check your watch to gauge how much time you have before going to work. 

“It's Sunday,” Wanda says as she swallows. You look at her like she's crazy until you realize that she is right. It's not Monday quite yet. You start laughing to yourself as you set your coffee down. 

“I'm all messed up from yesterday,” you laugh as you gesture towards your head. “Speaking of which,” you clear your throat and look into your mug. You bite your cheek nervously as you think of the best way to approach the subject. “Have you thought about having more kids?” You ask with your eyes bouncing between Wanda and your mug. 

Wanda sets her mug down and clears her throat. “I think I'm going to need this coffee to kick in before I'm ready to have that conversation.” You nod in agreement and scratch the back of your head with a nervous laugh. She was right, this was not something you talk about first thing in the morning. 

So you ask her how she slept and if she was hungry. Then you make her some breakfast, as you're cooking the aroma wakes her mother so you make enough for all three of you. Then the topic of conversation becomes her mother and the book club. Apparently, the meeting was less about the book and more about gossip as you listen to stories about people you've never met and may never meet in your life. 

Once everyone is done eating, you try to wash the dishes but Ms. Maximoff refuses to allow you to since you made the breakfast. She has Wanda clean them on her own while she traps you in a longer conversation about you and your future. Your girlfriend tries to spare you but her mother is very insistent. You stumble your way through some answers since some of her questions are questions you have yourself. 

She starts to ease up on you and starts to go on and on about her life and gossip from around her neighborhood. The scandals of the elder community. You react as though you care that Marjorie is sleeping with Thom and Chad, which makes you realize there are elders with the name Chad, without either knowing. Or that you sympathize with the 

After a while, Wanda gives you the signal that she is ready to talk. You nod and attempt to end the conversation with her mother. You fail miserably and Wanda has to come to your rescue. 

“Mom, hey, I need to take Y/n from you,” she says as she pulls on you to rise from your seat. 

“Oh but we're having so much fun! I haven't even gone over what David over on the corner house might be up to. Giant garbage bags, every other week. We think it's bodies or-” 

“Mom,” Wanda interrupts. “I’m taking my partner back. Okay?” She pulls you closer to her and Ms. Maximoff laughs. She waves the two of you off and says that she needs to get started on her day anyway. You turn to Wanda with a shrug. 

The two of you walk to her bedroom to privately discuss. Wanda shuts her bedroom door and you walk around her room. Looking at her photos as you usually do. Wanda sits on her bed with her back against the headboard. Her eyes follow your every move as she thinks about your question. She can have more kids. She talked with her gynecologist at her most recent check up just in case this conversation ever did come up. Her doctor said she had never seen such clean results from Wanda. She assured her that she would be fine to have another baby, maybe ever two of she desired.

But did Wanda want to have another baby? Her boys are so close to becoming teenagers. Your daughter is right there as well. Would it be wise for the two of you to have another baby? 

“I don't know how I feel about intentionally trying for a baby at this point in my life.” Wanda starts, grabbing your attention away from the photo of her on her first day of college. “I have two pre-teenage boys who can be a handful at times and are already struggling with the younger siblings they have from their father. I don't know if I want to contribute to their insecurities by having another child,” she expressed her concerns when it comes to her boys.

You nod as you join her on the bed. You sit in front of her just next to her legs. You reach for her hand and she willingly gives you her hand. “Hey, I'm not even certain I want another kid. I was only asking because I keep saying no to Jean. I don't want you to think I'm saying no to you.” 

Wanda looks at you and tilts her head. “If I'm honest, I didn't consider that. I know that the situation with Jean and what's happening between us are completely separate things. So that didn't cross my mind,” she explains that your worries aren't hers in that regard.

“Well, that's reassuring,” you chuckle softly because you feel a little ridiculous about making that assumption. “I'm open to the idea with you. But I'm fine if you don't want to go through another pregnancy.” 

Wanda pulls your hand closer towards her. She looks at the palm of your hand and traces the lines with her finger tip. She thinks about the art you make with this hand. The pleasures you've brought her with this hand. The tears you've wiped from her face. The food you've made. Then she thinks about you holding her pregnant belly when the weight gets to be too much for her. She thinks about you holding her child in this hand. Butterflies flutter in her stomach at the idea. 

“Let's just… if it happens, we'll talk about it then,” she says softly. “We'll go over our options at that time. But let's not make a thing of it. We don't need to start telling people about us and including that we're trying. We can just,” she shrugs as she drops your hand and places her arms around your shoulders as she leans forward. “Well we haven't even discussed marriage yet but knowing your track record, kids are what come first.” She teases and your eyes widen momentarily to show your shock and amusement of the statement. 

“Of course, with most people they just get a sappy speech and a ring. With me, you get real commitment,” you add jokingly which makes the two of you laugh. You lean closer and kiss her lips. “You're right. We need to be talking about marriage and our commitment to each other before we talk about having kids. I only brought it up because of everything that's going on right now.”

Wanda smirks, “I know honey, that's why I entertained the conversation without shutting you down. It's one of the many topics of conversation we should have before going straight to the marriage of it all. You know? What if we got married and weren't on the same page about this?”

You nod as you agree, “It's exactly why I'm glad we're taking things slow. I would love to whisk you away to Vegas and elope. And I probably would have if we'd have met at a different time in our lives. But we both have a lot to consider outside of ourselves.” 

Wanda's thumb moves back and forth on your neck. “You're a very wise and considerate person, Y/n. What did I ever do to deserve you?” Her eyes are locked on yours as she searches for any kind of malice or false intentions. All she finds is kindness. She cannot fathom what her life would be like had you not made yourself part of it. 

“Have an ex with poor taste in liquor,” you remark on the first conversation you ever had with her. She smiles. 

“I was a mess,” she states as she bites her bottom lip and drops her face shyly. 

You nod in agreement. “You were, and I didn't want to seem like some creep going after vulnerable people by talking to you. By the way, my intentions were pure. That night.” You point between the two of you. “I never had this goal in mind until the night we hung out after my camping trip.” 

She looks back up, a little shocked by this news. Especially since you ended up dating someone else after that night. “Really? So why go after Daisy?” She asks as she looks over your features. Taking in every detail of your face. Your jawline, your smooth skin with a chicken pox scar on your forehead. She loves every detail of you. 

You shrug as you try to remember that time. It was only several months ago. Or was it a year ago by now? It feels like a lifetime ago. “Fear, insecurities, and a long list of other reasons that don't make a lot of sense but at the same time they do. I mean, we're still afraid to be together.” 

Wanda nods as she listens to you explain. You're not wrong there. She was pushing you away for weeks because of how afraid she is to be in love with you. “I'm not anymore. Afraid, I mean. I love you and I only want to be with you. I hope forever but you never know.” 

You chuckle at her last comment and kiss her on the lips. “Yeah, you never know.” She smiles before leaning in for another kiss. You rub the spots on her back where you have your hands placed. You continue to pull her closer and closer as the kiss continues. You love her and you can't wait to tell everyone.

Chapter 26

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @diealittlesometime @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick @inarayofmoonlight @crimsonwidow666 @vael-altieri @elle161989

[vignirek]

Wukong + Macaque headcanons (part 2)

Wukong:

- Wukong's drawing style is akin to classic paintings, while Macaque's drawing style is anime + cartoony

- his body temperature permanently became warmer from the furnace and he became less susceptible to diseases bc the heat kills the bacteria before it can do anything + he has developed an immunity to most diseases due to his stacked levels of immortality (though maybe there's still a small percentage where he can get sick somehow)

- never saw the need to learn how to cook food bc fruits were available all the time (and he can also use his hair transformation + duplication powers whenever he wants, so he never lacks food)

- his clones are pretty much direct copies of him and function like a monkey hivemind in a sense

- whenever he feels really lonely, he rolls up a blanket and curls up next to it while he sleeps (and pretends it's Macaque bc in those moments he really misses him + they used to hug each other often in the past and he misses that as well)

- dancing was his and Macaque's mutual favorite activity (it's also the only thing he was able to do without stage fright getting in the way bc Macaque was there to keep him grounded); secretly he really wants to do it again but doesn't know how to approach Macaque with everything that happened

- Wukong is an extravert, while Macaque is more like an ambivert (basically an in-between or a combination of traits from both sides-)

- has kept Macaque's personal belongings from the past in very good condition to this day and still looks after them (in spite of how angry he is at Macaque, he can't even fathom the thought of throwing them away, so he just keeps them tucked away in safety instead)

- Wukong was pretty much Macaque's dance partner in the past very often, so consequently, Macaque frequently joined in to draw with him (and even posed for paintings on occasion)

- besides his standard outfit, he typically wears gender neutral clothes (and occasionally wears skirts) (monkeys have much less of a gender difference than humans so I doubt he'd care about which clothes he wears due to growing up with his monkeys)

- he and Macaque liked to give each other small gifts: Wukong would gift bird feathers and Macaque would gift flowers (Wukong preserved most of those flowers in tree resin, while Macaque made the feathers into necklaces or head accessories)

Macaque:

- knows how to play multiple musical instruments but his preferred picks are dizi (horizontally held flute) and erhu (two-stringed bowed instrument), though he hasn't gotten a chance to practice much in the present; he also sometimes practices his singing in private

(yes he typically gets headcanoned to have a love for theater- but I wanted to do something different bc technically Macaque never touches anything theater related ever again since "Shadowplay" in canon)

(also bc I like to imagine Macaque singing Alejandro Saab's covers of songs for silly purposes) (also i just like to think that he has a good sense of rhythm even without his ears)

- likes to watch anime in his free time (his artstyle is canonically anime-like so I think he'd like anime too- idk which series he'd like though)

- forced himself to learn how to prepare food during the years of not living on FFM (it's at least implied that post-resurrection he was absent from the mountain for some time and only came back there sometime before season 4); eventually picked up a more varied diet bc he couldn't afford to be picky and only eat fruits like he used to

- much more likely to get sick than Wukong due to him being more "mortal"

- his clones overall have distinct personalities to them, but Rumble and Savage gradually developed more than the rest and gained their own personalities and thoughts overtime (they just happen to look like shadow copies of Macaque) (though maybe they chose to shapeshift at some point and changed their own looks to suit their preferences)

- optional/limbo headcanon (a.k.a. one i like but not fully sure about): self-enforced (and a pretty bad) habit of covering/hiding injuries out of his need for independence (and possible trust issues)

- struggles with sleeping after all the things that happened since season 3 (and the events of S5 indirectly made his insomnia worse)

- optional/limbo headcanon 2: typically a confident person but his insecurities get to him during particularly bad days, he's often very quiet and prefers to hide under blankets during those times

- he usually goes through the day with his sensitive hearing just fine but can still get overstimulated in some cases

- would probably have a massive playlist of songs he likes if he knew how to use music apps

- usually prefers practical clothing, but he does like to wear accessories (scarves, bracelets, necklaces, etc.) - Wukong gifted Macaque a few paintings during the time they were still close and Macaque has kept them to this day (like Wukong, he can't convince himself to get rid of them because they're still precious to him, no matter how bad their current relationship is)

[ominous-faechild]

Hey how do you do the color gradient thing for your dialog tags?

Assuming you mean these things, I've actually been meaning to make a guide of my own for a while lol.

For one, you can only do this on computer/the website of Tumblr! There's no option to select this stuff on the app.

STEP 1: CREATE A NEW DOC / GO TO SETTINGS

It opens a dropdown menu/whole screen full of options!

From there, select the "text editor" dropdown, which starts as displaying "rich text".

Select "HTML"

And it should change how the entire post looks!

STEP TWO: CHEAT

Yeeeeeaaaaah, so I use a website for this lol

I inserted my colors for faeries (#30853C) and Cloud (#6DC1B4) for my example of "these things" earlier. To make this easier, I most often have two windows open at a time while working on uploading my scripts to Tumblr.

To get colours to insert into the Text Colorizer website, you can use any kind of hex color picker or even this one website I've used to yoink "thematic" colors from photos!

Personally, I've developed a massive library of colors over time for this exact purpose lol. Using my old colors as a "base", I can change it accordingly to the kind of "new color" that I want for a specific character or thing!

(I'll use the website to also make gradients for "in-between" colors lol)

STEP 3: INSERT TEXT / DESIRED COLORS

To make Nova's gradient, I start with #A600D9, my color for Magic, and end with #F56745—their individual color. However, being as it's short, I'll use a quote from them instead lol.

Once you've inserted your text and colors, you will click in the text box I highlighted in red, ctrl+a and ctrl+c to copy it all, and go back over to your new tumblr post tab!

From there, you'll ctrl+v to paste the entirety into the HTML area, which pastes the code into your post!

AND VOILA!

You have gorgeous gradient text!

However, I want to give a fair warning and a bit of advice! If you didn't notice wayyyyyyy back when...

Tumblr warns that this all can break your formatting!

It doesn't do it too often, but take it from someone who does an obscene amount of formatting... it's 100% true.

STEP 4: CHEAT SOME MORE!

For this reason, I personally have a whole separate draft post full of my characters' colors (and names lol) that I use to copy-paste them in from rather than using the "html" text editor on every post!

I mentioned earlier I often have multiple windows open while editing? Here's what that looks like!

Additionally, I'll use a separate tab off on the left (my "current wip post" side) with the "html editor" enabled for me to copy-paste stuff!

(Also here's yet another example of how many colors I have)

Once again, you can ctrl+c these things to paste them into another tumblr post with the correct colors!

And it's ONLY possible to do on the website!!!

EXTRA INFO!

WARNING:

Tumblr will only allow each "paragraph's html to be so many characters long, so you can't have too big of anything in a gradient!

And by "anything"... I mean you really can't have that big of a gradient in general. RIP lol.

It straight-up won't save the post so long as you have that "overflow" in the character block! MAKE SURE YOU'VE FIXED IT, OR YOU CAN AND WILL LOSE ALL PROGRESS ON YOUR POST!

SINGLE-COLOR TIP:

You don't need the website for a single color! If you'd like, you can just change the "color code" within the html editor to change specific colors!

MAKE SURE COLORS CAN WORK ON DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS!

On desktop, you can use shift+p while not on any sort of textbox to change the color pallet! I always do tests to see which colors work best before settling on any!

(Tho, the blue background SPECIFICALLY is nightmarish to work around. So if that's the ONLY thing I can't make work, I often ignore it and let you guys who use it suffer lmao)

(Hopefully this'll give you guys some respect for me and how much I do to make my posts aesthetic af lol)

Also hopefully this all helps???

divider by @cafekitsune

[ranchstoryblog]

ICYMI: Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma Livestream News

Earlier today there was a nice, hour-long livestream covering new information and details about the upcoming Guardians of Azuma, set to release on May 30th. The stream archive is linked above, and is absolutely recommended viewing, but if you just want a quick summary of the basics, that's what this post is here for!

15:05 - Countdown Ends, most recent trailer begins playing. The trailer features the different season-based villages, Village Builder Mode, Adventure, Romance, and story-focused segments.

18:50 - Our host, Ovilee May introduces herself and welcomes viewers to the livestream. She also introduces us to Suzie Yeung, the voice actress for Kaguya, the game's heroine, and Brandon McInnis, voice of the game's hero, Subaru. They emphasize how much work they've put into the game, with a lot of voice acting and story emphasis for the game. Brandon and Suzie describe the protagonists as "good listeners," but adds that Kaguya is refined and elegant while Subaru is a bit more brash.

22:48 - An overview of the Rune Factory series, with slides pictured above. Brandon relates a story about how his voice acting career began during his play-through of Rune Factory 3. Suzie hasn't played Rune Factory yet, but is a fan of farming sims. The basics of the series are laid out, farming, fighting, romance, RPG elements, etc.

30:13 - A look at Guardians of Azuma specifically. Describing it as a re-imagining of the series, building on the core tenants of the series but adding village building and earth dancing. There is emphasis on the turtle in the artwork, which is appreciated as turtles are extremely cool. Please look directly at the turtle in the above image.

32:32 - The next segment focuses on the Earth Dancers, our protagonists. Brandon and Suzie emphasize again that their characters are a bit brash and more elegant respectively while also adding that Subaru is a bit more emotional and Kaguya is more reserved.

34:25 - We move on to the next segment, which covers the Village Builder and farming aspects of the game. Players will be able to place residences for villagers, build farming/ranching facilities like barns, and storefronts. Ovilee emphasizes that you can design the town for your own quality of life, such as setting up the blacksmith next to your home instead of having to run into town every time you need them.

35:20 - There's emphasis on the Eastern style to the game's world design, though there will be some Western aspects as well, such as foods. No specific mention of actual Western foods included in the game.

36:33 - Bows and Talismans are new weapon types, and the ability to recruit monsters and party members to adventure with you as a returning feature is emphasized. When asked about favorite characters, there's some evasion on being able to mention specific characters, but shout-outs to Woolby, the game's mascot.

38:19 - We pivot to the romance side of Guardians of Azuma. If there was any doubt, same-sex relationships are emphasized as a returning feature. While, there was some evasiveness on favorites at first, Brandon does say that the writing is wonderful and that different scenes would make him laugh or cry from the ways different relationships play out before highlighting Cuilang's story in particular.

41:15 - Ovilee, begins asking Suzie and Brandon about their characters. Kaguya and Subaru being childhood friends who were betrothed in an arranged marriage before the events of the game, where things "get complicated." Ovilee then asks about their opinions on the depths of the relationships of the characters. The phrases "comprehensive," "fleshed out," and that each side character has a strong story without short-cutting anyone. Playing their characters did have plenty of strong emotions, with Suzie mentioning one of the characters made her extremely angry, "I was ready to take a swing at somebody." Kaguya and Subaru have a lot of history with each other as well.

45:33 - Garrison Denim, localization team member, joins the group to hand out three Sacred Treasures from the game, a Sacred Drum, Sacred Sword, and Sacred Parasol. After praising our voice actors, it's time to jump into some gameplay. Garrison narrates as we're given a look at Spring Village, the first in the game. Village customization is emphasized, and it's shown that villagers are also helping with the farm work, not just the player. They can plant, water, harvest, and each villager will have distinct qualities and specialties. You can also still use monsters to handle your fields.

Next, the Sacred Treasures are introduced. Each has special abilities: The Sacred Parasol can water every tilled tile simultaneously, the Sacred Drum can speed up growth, the Sacred Sword generating seeds from crops ready to be harvested. While the drum is being used, there is a pop-up referencing a "Drum Dance Skill Tree."

An alternative, birds-eye view for village customization is shown. Maintaining villages will be extra important, as you're "not farming just for yourself" as the leader of these communities, and "making sure all the villagers are fed." There's also a lot of decorations to help creative village designers. Each village will have a fully customizable space, or multiple spaces, to use.

55:55 - We now switch to demonstrating combat. Your party can have a maximum of six, filling in with romance candidates, monsters, or villagers while you adventure. It's demonstrated that bosses have specific weaknesses and that filling a stun gauge can allow you to get an upperhand, and different characters will have different specialties. You can also ride some monsters, relationships with party members will improve, Sacred Treasures are demonstrated to offer combat abilities like debuffing enemies, and perfect dodges will grant bullet-time like effects.

1:07:22 - It's time to get to relationships! There's a new menu while interacting with characters that will give you options based on your bond level with them, with new options unlocking as your bond level increases, as well as a time-based cost. Each character has a variety of different things to do with them, as well as likes and dislikes, and some interactions lead to distinct scenes.

1:12:25 - Sakuna collaboration DLC! She exists as a villager, can join your party, and such. She's itty bitty. We also get to have a little look at the Collectors Bundle. Closing out, Suzie and Brandon also mention that this is probably the longest running project they've worked on, with lots of hard work and voiced dialog that they're looking forward to players experiencing. Finally, the newest trailer plays again.

[elbiotipo]

Some thoughts for a D&D Spelljammer setting I'll probably never get around to actually write:

Spelljamming ships should be a revolution in transport and not only for fantasy space, they're basically flying ships, they could transport things from one end of a planet to another. Worlds that know spelljamming must be very different than those that don't.

What's the limitation here, then? Spelljammers themselves, that is, the guys who pilot the ships. They need to be magic users and you would need at least 2, preferably more, for shifts. That means you need to have mages that could be doing other useful magic stuff piloting a ship.

There's also the cost and skill required to make spelljamming helms. 5000 GPs in materials and level 5 spell apparently. Now, gold and levels in D&D don't mean much to me, so for the purposes of this scenario, I will assume making a spelljamming ship is costly and needs a lot of skill regardless of the actual numbers involved. So you don't have ships flying around the skies of every world, just a few have both the "human resources" (that is, trained mages) and material resources (I assume the spells and components are expensive and rare) to make spelljamming helms and crew ships.

Do we have equivalents of this in the real world? Yes, actually! The entire aircraft industry! Airliners, which are among the most complex machines produced in mass, are basically built only by Boeing, Airbus, and recently Comac on China (there used to be more) and pilots aren't easy to train either. There might be few worlds with the concentrated *productive forces* to build spelljammer helms in "serial" production, outside of some crazy wizard in a tower.

In fact, this is a bit besides the point but in general, the world(s) of D&D are pre-industrial, and this makes sense as for complex tasks you wouldn't really think of using a machine to do it, you seek a magic user who can do it instead. They are very jealous of their trade secrets too. We are looking at a kind of Renaissance economy in a large scale then, with guilds and church(es) and other institutions for "artisanal" complex goods instead of industries. Fantasy settings have always been strange about the demographics of mage users, but I think knowing the role of monasteries, alchemists, etc. during the real-life Renaissance helps you get closer to the dynamics.

Returning to the ships, I think spelljammer ships (or helms) might be hard to make but very hardy, long-lasting and easy to pilot, sort of like DC-3s that were built before WWII and are still used in Colombia. So that fits with the adventurer idea of getting an old ship and going into the stars. And maybe there is a surplus of them in some worlds that used to have large navies (like post-WWII surplus of airplanes and ships).

In Spelljammer you can stick a spelljamming helm on anything and make it fly, even seagoing ships (which are preferred for many reasons) but the true spelljamming ships like the Hammerhead Ship, the Squid Ship, etc. have strange shapes. I will say that those are not just decorative (because that's frankly a bit silly) but actually designed for better navigation through the currents of the Phlogiston or Astral Sea.

The 5e rules of spelljamming navigation basically say that ships go into the Astral Sea and then the spelljammer at the helm just thinks where to go and flies "100 million miles in 24 hours", that's it, just think about it and you're wherever you want, or, if you're not in a ship, you can just fly through the astral sea and, I quote "The more intelligent a creature is, the faster it can move." Which is frankly too stupid for words. I'm actually kind of angry at how stupid it is.

I'm completely ditching the 5e Astral Sea with its whole spiritual thing (to me that's a completely different thing) and making it a material plane of phlogiston (or aether, that sounds better) where the crystal spheres float. They aren't fixed, they move and flow with the stellar currents, but you CAN navigate them if you're attuned to them, you can use navigation equipment to find particular spheres and you can use your sails to get more favorable currents, this is a skill you have to learn and can cut travel times or let you find some things in space.

Doesn't that sound much better than "you just think and you're there xdxddxddxdxd"?

So how fast then? I think we'll just play it safe and see the top speed of sailing ships on the real world. Clippers, the fastest sail ships before steam ships, took roughly 100 days to cross the Pacific. The usual before was about 4-6 months. It depends on how big your setting is, but I think that's a good estimate to go to "the other side of the world" as one would say. And it of course would depend on how well known the routes are. It could be that you simply CAN'T fly to other spheres without doing extensive navigation first.

So instead of having 10 to 100 days at random to go somewhere (like in the original Spelljammer) or the somehow even stupider rules of 5e, you would have a map of well navigated, average, poorly known, and completely unknown spelljamming routes. Every time you got farther away from the well-known routes, navigation becomes more dangerous and travel more slow. You need (both in game terms and in setting terms) to have good navigation skills to get anywhere fast and safe.

You could have crystal spheres grouped in "constellations" (in my setting I do) that are easier to navigate inside, where the currents are known. This is also useful for worldbuilding "regions" in fantasy space that share cultural traits.

There must be all sorts of magical and non-magical navigation means, especially for landing on planets. Magical lighthouses, compasses, communication (a kind of morse code that can be communicated by lights, when magical communication isn't an option). I would think that for convenience, since planets are so big, spelljammers might sort of memorize the land of the main port and not bother with the rest. It might be that in an entire world, only one or two ports are truly visited by spelljammers. This also means that it would be very easy to set up a new base somewhere, even in well-travelled worlds.

What about power projection and star empires? We can read about colonial empires and age of sail trade to get a hint here. Empires where you rule by posting armies in every planet are very unlikely, since we established spelljammers are kind of expensive to make. Imagine invading and controlling, say, Earth in the 1600s with a dozen ships.

But imperialism where an external power controls key trade routes and ports, economically controlling a world, is very possible. This control means that those worlds must be integrated into the *galactic* economy somehow, as a large world can be self-sustaining, but its connections to the greater galaxy can be controlled. So, an imperialist power might succeed into controlling the economy of a world by controlling its trade centers and politics, without needing large armies or simply enlisting local collaborators. In fact, many might not be even aware they belong to a interstellar empire in their maps. On the other hand, *more* *voluntary* associations similar to the Hansa or Greek leagues might arise.

[technicallybeautifulfest]

Oh hello SOMEONE WANTS TO GET TO KNOW ME I'm putting this in my diary 🫶🏼

Thank you @bitching-and-witching for tagging me🥰

🎧Last Song🎧: idk honestly, my fiance and I have Playlists together for different moods (smoking, ear worms, working out, etc) so it may have been Fall Out Boy or LP or Coheed and Cambria....this morning though inhave doechii stuck in my head(:

🎨Favorite Color🎨: this changes all the time!! Right now I'm obsessed with purple, pink, and green. I do have a favorite color combination though and it's peach and grey

Like how stinking pretty is that? I also love pink and white together.

📚Last Book📚: i just picked reading back up so I haven't finished anything in a while but the last one I did finish was Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. It is about a school shooting and was written in a time when a school shooting in America was a national tragedy and not another Tuesday. I have started other books more recently but have yet to finish. The most recent book I opened is actually a self help book to help me control my mean girl inner dialog.

🍿Last Movie🍿: does Dead Meats Kill Count count? If not, it was a studio ghibli. I can't remember which one though, I think Spirited Away.

📺Last TV Show📺: Bridgerton! I literally finally started it yesterday and I am already so into it. I love love LOVE drama TV shows. I hadn't watched this one until now though because I usually don't like period pieces like this but I've been hearing only good things about the show since it came out. I'm only a few episodes in so far but I can and will binge watch like crazy so we'll see how long before o finish it lol

🍔sweet/spicy/savory🍔: spicy. I know i have been blessed with a weak stomach/GI system but so far I am (somehow) still able to eat spicy foods. I don't typically like sweets but I will have some times when a craving is too strong and I need a zebra cake. Savory is also OK but I will add hot sauce(:

🌀Current Obsession🌀: YouTube. 🙃 Dead Meat has become a staple in this house over the last few months. Also watch a ton of Memoria, Any Austin, Gabi Belle, and Game Grumps. Oh and Let's Game It Out for when I need a little chaos.

🔍Last Thing Searched🔍: how to spell Gabis name lmao

👀Looking Forward To 👀 : a job?! Lmao I have only worked about 6 months out of the last 2 years. I hate it and I hate being so broke. I know with everything going on politically in this world it doesn't matter but I miss having GOOD HAIR CONDITIONER?! And also the ability to put away for savings for a house but the conditioner too cause I will chop off my hair if it's too dry lol.

Uhm idk who i would like to know better lol I have yet to try to reach out anywhere and now I don't know how to end this wow awkward bye (actually going back to the previous post I follow some of those accounts and would also like to know them more)

// 10 People I'd like to know better //

I got tagged by @kbthebearcat and @captain-clandestiny THANK YOU GUYS

🎧Last song🎧: I am not sure to be honest 😭 i was listening a mixed playlist on shuffle but i last remember listening to return to forever and when i fall in love

🎨Favorite color🎨: THE ONE AS MY BLOG BACKGROUND i am obsessed 💔 AND A WARMER TONE OF MUSTARD YELLOW tbh all the natural colors really 🤭

📚last book📚: I am not much of a reader, but i read "Ağrı Dağı Efsanesi" as homework. (Browsed the recap but sshhh)

🍿Last movie🍿: Ugh i am so embarrassed but Sonic 3. MY FRIENDS FORCED ME OKAY?!. Like you can't expect someone who likes "The Game", "Silence of the lambs", "there will be blood", "Jane Eyre" etc to like such a movie- i am REALLY picky about what i watch. But yeah it was Sonic 3 I'm sorry 💀

📺 Last tv show 📺: It was "Baby Raindeer" i guess... It was alright.

🍔 sweet/spicy/savory 🍔: Savory 😌

🌀Current obsession🌀: ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED

Finished the ezio trilogy and now playing unity and black flag. Torturing myself by replaying missions (in unity) over and over until i perfectly ghost them. People hate that game for some reason but i like it a lot tbh

🔍 Last thing searched 🔍:

I was answering the ask then i called Hargrove "passed away recently". i was sure it was not as "recently" so i searched to find out. 2018 was the date. He was such a nice trumpeter. I found about him after coming up with Roy and now one of his songs i think is roy if he was a song. Here's the song for those wondering !

👀looking forward to👀: nothing specific. But i am curious about the gt of that upcoming fable game. Probably can't afford it and don't have the hardware to run it so I'll watch the gameplays 💀

People I'd like to know better:

@justagiantpotato @pipinpali @pacthesis @ohnobrooo @paxmorgana @guaxinimraccoon @olivexing @territorialrain

[veryace-ficrecs]

Young Justice Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

Big girls don't cry by siren_of_the_ocean - Rated G

For Bart Allen, it's a random weekday in the middle of a random year. For Tim Drake, it's the day after his birthday and his whole world had just fallen apart.

Rest and Relaxation Post-Mission by Cherry_Sofa_729 - Rated T

After a mission that leaves everyone in safe condition but exhausted, all of Young Justice decides a little R & R is in order. Granted, when you’re young, together without any supervision, all dating each other, and a bunch of superheroes, a chill night in looks a little different

Dick needs to learn to stop listening when young justice starts talking by allmywritings - Rated T

Dick wished he could stop overhearing the things Young Justice said. At this point, he’d make a deal with the gods. Or://Dick keeps hearing the absolutely wild things that come out of Young Justice's mouths and then has to carry on with his day like there's nothing wrong.

Running in Place by d3ssie_r0se - Rated T

"Tim. How're his vitals?" She forced a calm into her voice. Like her, Tim was almost certainly itching to be out there looking as well. Still, it's not like either of them stood a chance. Cassie maybe, if he wasn't trying. Tim? At the end of the day, Tim was human. "Heartrate and BP through the roof. I can't tell if he's running low blood glucose yet. Both flashes have done this for days without crashing but... It was rough after." Cassie fought to keep her breathing steady. It was awful feeling helpless like this. Conner threw his bottle of water to the ground, "Okay. I'll give it another go." Then he was gone. Again. Cassie glanced to Tim. His usually cool blue eyes were betraying signs of stress as he clicked through various tabs on his laptop. They couldn't activate anything global without alerting the league and putting Bart in danger. Not to mention further stressing him out. -- most speedsters run off their problems when things get to much. where it gets dangerous is when they don't (or can't) stop.

Uh, Who?! by FloatingNebulas - Rated T

Everyone knows the four remaining members of Young Justice: Tim Drake, Bart Allen, Cassandra Sandsmark, and Kon-El. Everyone also knows that the four of them used to be part of a team named Young Justice in their early days, before joining the Teen Titans. However, very few people know what happened on that team. Very few people also know about the missing members of the team. Young Justice was not just those four. Young Justice was populated almost entirely by unknown names in case files and half-forgotten syllables. Or, five times someone learned about the forgotten members of Young Justice and had no idea who they were, and one time they met them.

it’s all fun and games ‘til Santa checks the naughty list by suzukiblu - Rated T

“Because we said we were gonna do it together, Bart,” Cassie says. “Which requires us all being here and contributing. Together. Tim is not here yet, therefore we are not all here and contributing, therefore we are going to wait.” “Tim is an atheist!” Bart says. “A Jewish atheist!” “Christmas decorations don’t, like, stop working if you don’t believe in them, man,” Kon says, then raises an eyebrow at him. “And aren’t you an atheist?” “That’s between me and the Speed Force,” Bart says, making a face at him. “But Tim is. And Cassie knows gods and doesn’t even pray to them, and you just keep anthropomorphizing your broken cloning tube!” “Poor ol’ Nanny McTubers, may she rest in peace,” Kon says wistfully, laying a hand over his heart before shrugging casually. “Or pieces.”

"Don't mess with my friends" by siren_of_the_ocean - Rated T

A phone call can bring many things. Good news, bad news, joy and terror. This particular phone call never should have happened. “Tim. Greta’s missing”

Those still here by Lilac_Demetrius - Rated T

After a week in space, Tim and his team return to earth only to find out that 5 years have passed since they left, and everyone thinks they're dead.

Bat in a Flash by siren_of_the_ocean - Rated T

When Tim is struck by lightning, his whole world changes. Everything moves just slightly slower now. Not because they are slow but because he is fast. Now he has to adapt and live, but with the help of Young Justice and the Flash team, he might actually make it through.

The Case of the Missing Kryptonite by Mouse_in_this_house - Rated G

The Kryptonite ring in the Batcave has gone missing. When such a dangerous weapon is in the wind, the Bats have to collaborate to track it down. Meanwhile, the former Young Justice team obliviously enjoys their piercing party.

Streamer by Day, Vigilante by Night by jupiterliketheplanet - Rated G

Ok, maybe Tim has a problem with working too much. But seriously Dinah, a hobby? or; Four friends accidentally get internet famous in an attempt to get Dinah off their back about having fun outside of work.

Tim Collects Last Names Like Infinity Stones by zetarogue - Rated G

“If we got married, you’d be Tim Allen.” Tim didn’t look up from his computer as he spoke. “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t just add another hyphen.”

Put a ring on it by Miss_Choco_chips - Rated T

"You’re gonna freak out so badly over this when you actually wake up", she informed Tim’s fluffy hair. Said vigilante only released a cute little snore, face buried on her lap, legs thrown over Kon’s, one hand that had fallen from the couch resting on Bart’s head where he sat on the floor in front of them. "Well, they were going to find out one way or another. And this was probably among the best scenarios." "How? This was probably out of Tim’s ‘worst case’ nightmare list." "I was there and saw their faces. I didn’t even know Batman could express any emotion other than ‘cold’ and ‘overflowing with rage’. That image will bring me joy in future distressing times, I’m sure. My patronus memory, if you will."

[melliae]

Hong Lu, An Analysis-Prediction

Before beginning, as always, I've to clarify something: I haven't read Dream of the Red Chamber. My best source of information are the thematic connections drawn in the Reddit sub of Limbus, and that only gives me a slight idea of what Project Moon may have in mind.

So, everything below here is complete and utter speculation based on my own knowledge and impressions about Hong Lu's character, Sins, EGOS, and Abnormalities. Beware, and feel free to comment your own opinions!

Now, let's go with the post!

What We Know

So, I think the best way to start this analysis is by recapitulating Hong Lu’s overall character so far. For that, we need to return to the first ever explanation of his personality: the “resume” given in the game page and during his presentation in Selva Oscura.

“As such, he has a certain admiration for a free life; but occasionally, he may make ignorant and unsavory questions in regards to the food cooked by a certain other Sinner or other aspects of the low-lives' lowly culture. [,,,] However, it is important to note that no sarcastic undertones are contained in his curiosity-driven inquiries, so it is ill-advised to let them get physical over it.”

As a general thing… It surprisingly holds up! Don’t misunderstand me, though. It isn’t that the description is perfect; it’s just not untrue. In fact, his first even line in the game, about Dante’s head being some sort of trend and not waiting for an answer, totally falls there. Similarly, there are several other moments showing Hong Lu’s innocence and naivety without any ulterior or hidden motive, from wondering if the casino workers of Canto II were trying to make the Peccatula their pets (likely because his grandmother collects weird animals) to unintentionally insulting Outis’ watch in Canto VI. I’d say the biggest proof of his lack of experience is the moment in Canto V where he adjusted the LCCB badge of a pirate that very obviously wasn’t a member of Limbus. Though all of his weirdness may derive from the fact that his elders—which are weird as hell—are his point of reference.

Now, since his most notable trait has been explained, we can move into the discrepancies of the description, and the biggest one is mentioned at the end: that under Hong Lu's comments there is no sarcasm—which is a complete lie! This man is a menace, and the Sinner’s experiences in District 20 during To Claim Their Bones and Canto VI shows it, from agreeing Caiman’s assessment of LCB to joining Nelly’s teasing, including his lines while helping Heathcliff with his appearance and clothes. But arguably, my favorite example of this is the horror story he told during Canto V that scared Sinclair and which he only finished when the latter ran away. Don't tell me Hong Lu was being innocently insensitive back there: Sinclair was visibly shitting bricks, and the pretty boy here is keen enough to masterfully play the most compassionate and kind member of the League of Nine.

“Brother Young-ji was a man of kindness. He was not one to rashly harbor spite or reproach for others. You resemble him in that sense.” - Yi Sang, Blossoming League of Nine Littérateurs, Canto IV.

Though I suppose the difference between them is that Hong Lu clearly has a more optimistic and fun-loving attitude. This is an obvious trait that he has had since his childhood, when he played with and complained about his “cheating” siblings, sneaked into the dining hall of his manor for snacks, and simply didn’t follow his family’s rules. But since we know his family is extremely strict (if not outright sadistic), this sanguine streak may have developed (or gotten worse) as some sort of defense mechanism, which is seen better with Wakashu Hong Lu and his “lack of manners.” In fact, all of his Identities show an unnatural or improper calmness about his situation, no matter how horrible it is.

Another thing to highlight is his inquisitive, curious, and surprisingly understanding nature. While most of the examples above, especially him playing Young-ji, are proof of that, as it plays very well with his sheltered life. But I want to point out the best and most recent example of Hong Lu’s surprising contemplativeness: Time Killing Time. In particular, the most important scene is near the end, when Rodya and Hong Lu discuss his motivation to pursue the Time Reaper:

“I... just wanted to understand. Because, to me, the world was full of things I couldn't understand. In truth, I still understand so little of it. Why do people hang on so desperately to something like time? Something so... ephemeral?” - Hong Lu, Chapter 15: The Final Problem.

It’s normal to assume Hong Lu’s words are solely referring to the miserable monetary system of T Corp., but I don't think that’s all. We know that Hong Lu and Xinchun are well acquainted with the “immortality of the mind” the elders of their family are obsessed with, and what is immortality but infinite time? Thus, what Hong Lu asked there was why people hang on to the erroneous belief that life should not move or change, remaining constant and hence perfect for the rest of eternity. Yet, that isn’t what life truly is, right? It’s not for nothing that Hong Lu’s introductory quote is that “life has its vicissitudes as jade has its flaws,” which conveys his philosophy of detachment perfectly.

“When you’re distraught, simply remember that life goes on even if what you’re doing now doesn’t work out. Then, you’ll be free of worries.” - LCB Hong Lu

However, while the idea of detaching oneself from the whole without renouncing loving it is respectable, the way in which Hong Lu lives it is far from perfect, because detachment is not about carefreely admitting you will just simply gather the remains of your sister in case she is mutilated or readily accepting a horrible death just because you don’t mind dying. Even he himself admits from time to time, as with his jealousy over Heathcliff’s propensity to “ignore what he doesn’t like” (Rooms Past the Door) or Rim’s capacity to fly freely. In fact, one may even say that he hasn’t become detached at all, because doing so implies the complete acceptance of the “jade’s” beauty and flaws; Hong Lu, however…

“A thousand hours… Will a thousand hours have passed in the blink of an eye? [...] Then... I like that. Rip my time away.” - Hong Lu, Chapter 14: The Clock Tower of Fear, TimeKilling Time.

He has become detached from life altogether, and how could he not with the disaster that his family is? That likely was his only way to survive in such an environment, and unlike the rest of the Jia, he doesn’t seem to have that lucky predisposition for resentment and hatred. Even when his siblings tried to kill him the first time, Hong Lu didn’t come to hate them; he fully understood them because that’s the kind of person he is, just like Young-ji. However, since he realized such a thing through his big heart, he’s now fully aware that he will ultimately and cruelly die by their hands thanks to his love. In such a case, what other option does he have beyond merely “dancing”? A joke here, a sarcastic comment there, and a final appreciation for everyone so nothing is taken seriously and causes dissatisfaction, no matter how dim his eye becomes.

So, as of the 5th Walpurgisnacht, Hong Lu’s character can be summarized as follows:

Has a friendly, compassionate, and understanding personality that clashes against the violent and strict nature of his family.

Became detached over his own life because he can’t bring himself to hate and hurt his family.

His carefree attitude and sheltered life lead him to not understand some of the social conventions of… anyone who still has some respect for their own life.

Has a certain sarcastic and teasing streak, likely originating from both his personality and ideology.

There’s 1 aspect remaining that I didn’t mention above because I think it’s better to analyze Hong Lu’s EGOs first, to see what else we can rescue before giving a sort of “conclusion.”

About EGOs

Before any of you ask, no, I will not analyze Land of Illusion here; it’s best reserved for the next section, about Hong Lu Base ID. Instead, the first EGO I’ll deal with is, fittingly, the first one he ever received: Roseate Desire.

Roseate Desire originates from Pink Shoes, an Abnormality that evidently is an Aberration of Lobotomy Corp.’s Red Shoes, with their shared meaning being that of a single-minded and very violent obsession that’s impossible to resist—one of the purest expressions of Lust. But while Red Shoes and its EGO are fundamentally egoistic, not wanting to share the glory and pleasure of their desire’s fulfillment, Pink Shoes and Roseate Desire are of a softer shade, spreading their overwhelming lust to as many people as possible. The difference becomes clearer when you compare Rodya’s and Ishmael’s respective obsessions: the longing to be special vs. the desire to kill the “source of all evil” in retribution for all she has done.

Applying the former logic to Hong Lu, we can conclude first that he has a desire as strong as Ishmael’s hatred for Ahab, which is quite unexpected for someone who has basically given up on life! Thankfully, the Sin resources his version of Roseate Desire costs tell us a couple of things about his “fixation”: 4 Lust and 2 Envy. The dominance of Lust is self-explanatory, so that leaves us with Envy, which I commented on in the previous section: jealousy over those who can ignore and escape their problems—those who are “free.” Yet, since Roseate Desire and Pink Shoes are characterized by a sort of collective hedonism, so is Hong Lu’s wish to escape his family. Surely such a thing will bring joy to his cut-throat siblings.

And speaking about escapism, Hong Lu’s next two EGOs are all about that, beginning with the one whose Abnormality I analyzed in one of my previous posts: Dimension Shredder.

While Wayward Passenger is an Abnormality that is clearly about the trauma inflicted by W Corp.’s method of operation, it has a secondary meaning that Project Moon uses for its EGO too: being trapped in a horrible duty, necessity, or “path” that makes the individual envious of the life and possibilities others hold. This is best seen with Outis’ Dimension Shredder due to the Envy affinity, though Hong Lu’s Pride version isn’t that far off thanks to the Sin costs: 3 Pride and 3 Gluttony. Basically, it means that Hong Lu is “lost” due to external necessity, by things he can’t control (i.e., his family), but instead of resenting it as any other person would do, he takes pride in that, in having to follow a “terrible path,” because that’s the type of person he knows he is—the kind and understanding one that sacrifices himself.

The second EGO about escapism originates from LobCorp and hence from an Abnormality I haven’t analyzed: Soda and Opened Can of WellCheers, respectively. The two come from a Korean urban legend about people being drugged through juice cans and sold to fishing boats as slaves. Needless to say, the parallels with Hong Lu’s Soda are more than obvious: an envy born from a necessity (Gluttony) that grimly (Gloom) pushed him into a role he doesn’t want. Alternatively, and considering the ending of the Abnormality’s story log in LC, it’s the fulfillment of a fantasy born of jealousy, sadness, and necessity, though that doesn’t explain the Envy affinity of the EGO. Either way, nobody can deny that Soda stands for Hong Lu’s “murdered” wish to flee his circumstances.

The next EGO luckily is from another Abnormality I analyzed some time ago: Ambling Pearl and Effervescent Corrosion. However, unlike Rodya, who keeps the Abnormality’s original meaning mostly intact (safekeeping the “pearl”/one’s meaning from the “filthy” outside), Hong Lu gives it a twist: it’s not about protecting his “life treasure,” but something else

“Faust: For instance, let’s say that Hong Lu held a belief he was certain would be an unchanging constant as he lived in the City. Or, it could be a hope for some other psychological sustainment that has supported his life. Hong Lu: …Hmm. Faust: If that support suddenly collapses in a massively shocking event that causes one to let their “ego” go, his mind would crumble, so to speak. Hong Lu: …Well, I could see that happening. [...] Hong Lu: Hm… I thought I knew, but I can’t seem to elaborate on it with words right now.” - Chapter 3: Hell’s Chicken, Hell’s Chicken.

Unlike Rodya’s desire to be special and her notorious inner conflict, which is reflected in how similar her Corrosion is to a broken Ambling Pearl, Hong Lu is much more secretive about his opinions, usually referring to his frivolous comments instead of using the great insight he has, according to Dante. Nonetheless, even if we don’t exactly know the “core belief” he holds close to his heart (though we should have a general idea at this point), we do know that his version of Effervescent Corrosion, beyond Gluttony or the desire to survive, requires Gloom. So whatever Hong Lu is hiding, it’s far from happy, as his Sin weaknesses further show after EGO usage: weak to Lust and Sloth, to love and inaction—to the idea of not protecting himself.

In a similar vein, Hong Lu’s next EGO is entirely about sadness, as it comes from Blubbering Toad, aka depression incarnated. However, Cavernous Wailing isn’t a Gloom EGO but a Sloth one, and whose Sin costs are Gloom, Sloth, and Pride. That’s to say, Hong Lu’s refusal to take action and the resulting self-pity (“A heart shaken by sorrow bursts… like this.”) are fed by his sadness, indolence, and distorted self-perception, an aggrandized mental image of himself as able to carry all his pain without problem.

“It goes like this. Any of our siblings who managed to survive on their own up to the age of thirteen in our household will probably be a-okay even if they were to be tossed out to the middle of the Outskirts! Hehe…” - Hong Lu, Chapter 20, Canto VII.

Finally, the last EGO is the newly added Lasso, which comes from Rose Hunter, and really, its Mirror Dungeon Encounter puts it the best: Rose Hunter is the one who makes sure all stories follow their natural course, their flow, and “he” is no exception; the Hunter is willing to get lost if that’s the story it must obey. Fittingly, Lasso represents the same idea of not resisting one’s “tale” or “myth,” going along with what’s written not out of indolence or apathy, but because it’s necessary, akin to the motif of the “fetters of fate,” for example. In that regard, their underlying archetype is the same as that of the Orphic Ananke, the deification of the necessity that created the universe, which can be best understood through the following aphorism: existence came to be because it exists. Or put it in a simpler manner: you must follow your nature because that’s who you are.

Hong Lu’s Lasso, in the same way as Faust’s, requires first and foremost Gluttony to work, for that’s the entire deal of the Abnormality. Then comes the Lust requirement, which implies this “work” is also done out of either love or a twisted desire, a mania for things to follow their assigned nature or role. The final Sin cost is the variable one, which for Hong Lu is Pride again, his aggrandized sense of self that drives him to fulfill his role without complaining, solely out of love and necessity.

So, with all the EGOs analyzed, we can rescue the following:

Hong Lu, more than anything, wishes to escape the situation he has been put in. He wants to be free behind all those frivolous and/or insensitive commentaries.

However, due to his upbringing, he “murdered” those wishes so to speak, and remains walking the path his family has put him by many reasons, chief among them his love for them and his distorted perception of his own self.

Thus, all that longing and yearning for freedom remains hidden, barely able to see the light of the day except in the rarest of occasions. That’s likely his “pearl,” the thing that he ultimately hides for his own survival.

About His Base ID and EGO

You know, I have always been curious about why people are so adamant about Hong Lu being depressed. No doubt he has depression at some level, but I don’t think it’s as severe as people normally think it is because his Base ID simply lacks any form of Gloom. This is in stark contrast to Sinners such as Yi Sang, Gregor, and especially Ishmael, since she has a Gloom Base EGO as well. But if such is the case, then what does Land of Illusion means, since it requires Gloom to be used?

However, I think it’s important to understand Hong Lu’s Sin spread first, his psychology in this particular possibility:

His third skill, that is, his most inward and deep trait, is Lust. This Sin placement is only shared with LCB Heathcliff, whose devotion to Catherine is quite literally a multiversal constant as per Canto VI; everything he does, he does it for Cathy. Thus, Hong Lu must have a similarly romantic or affectionate nature, and we know that he isn’t the type to stop “loving” due to the cruelty of a person; his reaction towards the attempt against his life says enough. He even tried to understand the Time Ripper at some level during TimeKilling Time.

His second skill is Sloth, an inaction that’s much shallower but no less decisive, so to speak. One can understand it as deriving from his much more encompassing Lust or Love, which is to say that Hong Lu refuses to take action or initiative in his life out of the love and understanding, in a similar manner to how LCB Faust lets her every move be commanded by the Gesellschaft thanks to her need for self-realization.

Finally, his third skill, his most outward and shallow trait, is Pride. This position is only shared with the Base IDs of Faust (again) and Sinclair, although the former is the easiest one to understand: Faust is somewhat haughty without a doubt, but not egocentric or self-absorbed by any metric; she’s just socially naive and with a great deal of knowledge that tends to ostracize her by her own volition. Pride is, after all, the de facto Sin of distorted self-perception, of thinking you are more capable than you really are.

Again, all of this tells us what we already know: the kindness of Hong Lu, his indolence born out of said kindness, and the weight he alone bears on his shoulders. We can’t even say that he has a low self-esteem unless we include in that definition a “imposing limits on who you are,” which, yes, sounds right, but it leans too much in the territory of semantics for my taste. Furthermore, Hong Lu’s strange relationship with Gloom and sadness can also be contrasted with the Sinners I mentioned before, those with Gloom and whose Cantos are available:

Yi Sang was the living stereotype of the depressed person: cold, distant, unfeeling, dead inside, etc. Whatever you name, Yi Sang likely had it.

Ishamel’s emptiness and self-destructivity were well-hidden until her Canto, during which all hell was let loose.

And Gregor is possibly one of the most realistic approaches of all, as we can see with the flashbacks of his past during Canto I. Even so, he… well, remains somewhat functional (and I’m really stretching the definition there xD)

And don’t get confused. In this case, Gloom isn’t equal to feeling sad or being traumatized by any means; every Sinner has their own share of problems, and not all have Gloom. Sinclair had his family and town massacred thanks to Kromer's obsession with him, for example, and while I don’t doubt he feels a deep sadness and regret about it, he doesn’t have Gloom in his Base ID. The same applies to Rodya, her low self-worth, and her guilt about the fate of her neighbors, lacking any sort of Gloom as well. The most extreme and recent case of this is boss Sancho, who doesn’t have any Gloom skill at all, despite her character and story being more than fitting.

Therefore, Gloom, in the straightest sense and avoiding exceptions or little quips, refers to a deep-seated hopelessness, a melancholy that devours all dreams and hopes, causing one to become completely lost in life. In such a case then, it’s not that Hong Lu isn’t sad or, damn, depressed, but that he knows how to manage such emotions so they don’t overwhelm him as they do with Gregor, Yi Sang, or Ishmael. The same likely happens with his wish to escape and his jealousy, for he seemingly knows that no life is truly a “flawless jade.”

“In a way, we’re all ‘deprived’... and that can change a lot of things. Maybe there are things that we can understand only when we’re left with nothing.” - Hong Lu, Chapter 1: Wuthering Heights, Canto VI.

This self-control naturally falls in line with his inclination for Pride and Lust, creating a sort of “transpersonal” point of view that allows him to curb his emotions in order to understand others. It’s quite Buddhist or Taoist, no? This kind of detachment over life I explained before, I mean. In a way, it strengthens the theory of Jia family elders treating Hong Lu as a golden child, and while he doesn’t seem to really like the idea, he resigned himself to it.

“I can't do much about what I was born with~ To them... I was a gem of a child.” - Hong Lu, Liu Association South Section 5 Uptie Story.

He renounced all the transient things in his life, all of his wishes and sadness, in order to carry out his family’s expectations: the preferred family head candidate. And what is another form to call transient things? Illusions.

Land of Illusion is the culmination of Hong Lu’s hidden sadness, his yearning to escape that will forever remain out of his reach—or at least he thinks so.

“With this there is often, to a smaller or greater extent, a savior complex, or a Messiah complex, with the secret thought that one day one will be able to save the world; the last word in philosophy, or religion, or politics, or art, or something else, will be found.” - Marie-Louise von Franz, The Problem of the Puer Aeternus.

Hong Lu doesn’t believe himself to be a savior, naturally. But I cannot deny that it would be very much in character for him to imagine or fantasize about a world where he doesn’t have to fulfill his family expectations, where they can all be happy. That would explain the Lust cost of Land of Illusions, as well as the weaknesses to Envy and Wrath, which are a stand-in for the rejection of his innermost wish.

But alas, at the end, life has its flaws, and there’s no way Hong Lu will raise a fist against his family. Even if his survival depends on it, Hong Lu won’t defend himself because that would mean choosing and thus losing, and there’s nothing more terrifying to the eternal child than losing things. Death is a much more merciful and tempting possibility than acting and suffering.

“The puer aeternus very often has this mature, detached attitude toward life, which is normal for old people but which he acquires prematurely—the idea that life is not everything, that the other side is valid too, that life is only part of the whole existence. [...] So before he has gone down to earth, he already has the offer of death.” - The Problem of the Puer Aeternus.

In this regard, it doesn’t matter much Dante’s rewind or the actual existence of an afterlife. It’s the idea of death as a solution for a hard life, instead of confronting the problem itself, of standing up and withstand the uncertainty and pain of life.

AAt the end of his Canto, Hong Lu will have to stand up for himself and to carry on the pain. That's how a "child" becomes an "adult," or better said, an actual family head.

Post-Commentary

... Yeah.

To be honest, I don't know where the inspiration behind came for this. It just fell on me one day, like Faust's theory. But where I'm confident in that one, I'm completely lost in this post, especially because while the conclusion seems right (standing up to the abuse and expectations coming from one's family), the reasoning is somewhat flimsy? I don't know. I have the feeling that I'm retreating Canto VII's (and even Canto III's) story and themes somehow, though the similarities may be the reason of why Xinchun was introduced, maybe. That would make Don's confusion funnier xD

The final mentions of the puer aeternus (similar to the Peter Pan syndrome, but not quite) are due to how Hong Lu's character screamed "puer" to me, surpassing every other one. The fact his summary highlighted that he is a "bachelor" brought to mind this little quote of Marie-Louise's books:

“The two typical disturbances of a man wh ohas an outstanding mother complex are, as Jung points out, homosexuality and Don Juanism.”

If a man gets around too frequently, he'll obviously not get married. If he's gay, then even less reason to do so or look at women. In this case, the idea is not about the actual sexual orientation of Hong Lu (or the accuracy of the book's assessment), and more about highlighting his refusal to commit.

Also, as a funny note, The Problem of the Puer Aeternus has a fragment that's really similar to, from what I've gathered, the warnings the monks gave to the Stone at the beginning. Since the book also deals with the case of Saint-Exupéry and The Little Prince, there may also be something interesting regarding Demian (Limbus', not Hesse's).

Anyway, and repeating myself, if you have any other opinion or thought you want to share, feel free to do so! Similarly, if you notice any orthographical or grammatical error, let me know. It's difficult to see them, even when using several online tools...

[anarchy-and-piglins]

https://www.tumblr.com/anarchy-and-piglins/772595793282711552/anything-u-post-in-relation-to-fireworksduo-haunts?source=share

I am begging you to tell me more (whenever ur feeling up to it). I will offer you my bones and third born in exchange.

Keep your bones and children, I need no payment to yap about AU ideas!

Okay so the original AU is called 'Empty Vessel AU', trigger warning for suicidal ideation as part of the premise.

The base idea is that Phil does not stay on the server.

After killing Wilbur, Phil - caught in grief and hurt - takes off basically just as quickly as he arrived. Maybe he doesn't even realize Techno is there too, or maybe he's too caught up in it all to really mind. Phil fully leaves the server. This means Techno does not have Phil's support in the initial fallout of November 16th, which is a negative for his mental health (think the angst arc ccTechno wanted for his character before ccPhil ruined it by being like "hi m8, let's build a house :D" /lh).

Techno does not build the cabins in the Arctic, his base is more like a ravine/hole somewhere. He's miserable, but he stays trucking. At least until the Butcher Army happens - because it still does happen in this AU, just slightly differently than in canon since Phil isn't around. When returning to his 'base', Techno also doesn't find Tommy living there (because Tommy in this AU did not stumble upon Techno when he ran away from exile, since the cabins don't exist).

Now, Techno is the Blood God's conduit, as well all know. The Blood God is basically parasitic in nature, latching onto a mortal to serve as its conduit until they die and it must find a new vessel. The Blood God can control its conduit's body only with consent.

Techno, who is not doing too well mentally after everything that's happened, being treated as a disposable weapon or active threat by everybody, having no friends and only Chat around, etc, decides he doesn't care anymore. He'd do anything to just... not have to think for a bit. Not have to deal with all that's happened. So if the Blood God wants to use its vessel, it can.

Techno 'dies' in a sense.

More accurately, his consciousness goes into a sort of coma - completely senseless and all - while the body is left behind as an empty vessel the Blood God can puppeteer around. This is Not Good because a mortal body is not meant to contain a god so there are some negative effects. Including that the Blood God does not experience hunger, exhaustion, or pain, and it damages Techno's body by being in it. It's a ticking time bomb situation. If it stays inside Techno for long enough, Techno's body will also die.

Also, other people have to deal with an eldritch god so that's fun kekw. The Blood God is a bit of weirdo, but it does latch onto people around it as long as they promise to let it shed blood for them.

The original version of the AU was rivalsduo-centric as mentioned. Dream would have been the first person who ran into 'Techno' and clocked pretty quickly what's going on (it's not exactly subtle) and initially he thinks it's something he can exploit maybe, but then over time he realizes how dire it is and he does care enough about Techno to try and undo what's been done.

Now I'm just thinking of an alternative where it's Tubbo or Quackity (or both?) who encounter the vessel first and have to deal with that whole thing. Would they also be happy at first? Disturbed? Would they feel guilty or nah? And ofc how different it would be for them to try and get Techno back. Throw in other L'manburg members maybe and Tommy? I can assume stuff like the Green Festival would also go very differently in these circumstances.

[ftmpuppyboy11037]

god im such a fucked up slut into too much shit im scared to tell my girlfriend cause i dont want her think im gross or too needy

i want her to tie me up and blindfold me while she trails her knife down my body. i want her to hurt me. i want my skin to be red from her hitting me. i want marks and bruises. i want hickeys. i want the imprint of her teeth on me. i want her to put a shock collar on me. i want her to take me out in public with a remote control vibrator stuffed in me. god last time we fucked she said couldnt fit herself all the way in my cunt and i asked her to stop cause it was too much and she did and thats good but now i want her to try to push even deeper. god id lose my fucking mind if she did. i cant even think straight its not fair. its so not fair and im not allowed to get myself off.

i wanna live together and i just be walking around in nothing but one of her shirts so she can use me whenever she needs. id let her. id let her do so many things. ive never really smoke or drank before but id let her get me high or drunk or crossfaded just to fuck me while im all hazy. id let her use my while i was asleep. waking up to her fucking me or waking up in the morning with her gone and cum dripping out of me and marks left on me and a soreness between my legs telling me id been used. id let her do all that cnc shit to me (heavy focus on that first "c" tho)

id let her take videos and pictures of me to sell them or to show me off or even just to keep for ourselves. id let her bring her friends over to watch me get fucked. hell id even let them fuck me too if thats what she wants. i think shes too possessive for that though ehe.

id let her leave me tied up with a vibrator pressed against me or shoved inside me so she can see how long ill last until i cant take cumming anymore. id let her try out different toys on me just to see which ones i react to the most. even painful ones or ones that would be too much for my stupid little cunt. god i want her to degrade me. i need her to tell me just how useless and depraved i am. how the only thing im good for is getting filled and toyed with and how even then im not very good at that.

so here we are. anonymous tumblr posting

but fuck im too scared to tell her. i already feel annoying and needy anytime i tell her about milder stuff and it makes me nervous

not because of anything shes done i just have mental issues 😣

[diggity-didge]

Reassigning the Main Six Ninja Weapons Because I Lowkey Hate Them

The more I watch Ninjago, the more I realize one thing: I hate the weapons assigned to the ninja. Like, LOATHE them.

So, to fix that, here's me reassigning the ninja weapons that fit their element/fighting style/overall vibes more!

Before I start, I will acknowledge that: a) Ninjago is meant to sell toy sets. I get it. The weapons were probably chosen off of what stereotypical ninja weapon looks coolest, and b) that being a Lego restricts what can be made (it’s hard to make Lego gauntlets the size of a minifigure. I get it.), and c) I’m insane and really enjoy the different types of premodern combat weapons the world has to offer and they probably thought people over the age of 11 wouldn’t get quite as invested into Ninjago as I would.

Anyways. Me being a hater outweighs all those disclaimers. This post is a little bit of an essay, so I put everything under the cut.

Cole: I'm starting with Cole because he is, by far, the WORST. He's the reason I made this post.

What screams "rocks, dirt, earth and superstrength" more than a scythe? Just about every other option! In the show, Cole barely even uses his scythe, opting to instead throw hands, which makes so much more sense for someone with SUPERSTRENGTH. Scythes are notoriously not actually weapons and are not good at being a viable weapon. They are hard to inflict damage with due to their limited range and shape of the blade, and the blade can be snapped off with enough force (which Cole has in spades). Piercing an enemy is difficult as the point of a scythe is curved and flat and very small, and very far away from the user so accuracy is also difficult. Big sweeping strikes are not optimal as they are easy to block or evade. If he was the elemental ninja of nature or plants or whatever, he'd get a pass for aesthetics because farmers use scythes.

The solution is to lean into Cole’s strength: strength. Give him gauntlets, like Vi from Arcane or Generator Rex. He's a close range brick shithouse, might as well make him even more of one. Other options for the “boxer on steroids” theme include push daggers (small knives designed for in-between the fingers) or, to really push home the "ninja" bit, give him Chinese deer horn knives.

But, gauntlets aren’t the only weapon associated with feats of strength. To keep with the original scythe having a handle, he could also be given a large hammer or axe, like Amy Rose or Hilda from Fire Emblem: 3 Houses. He’s big and strong and needs something that can handle-and dish out- that same power.

Jay: the second worst offender. He, to me, is the opposite of Cole- the unstoppable force to Cole's immovable object. He is based around speed and long range, and NUNCHAKU ARE ONLY ONE OF THOSE THINGS. It's also very difficult to conduct electricity with such a short weapon, when chain lightning is basically thee lightning attack.

Give him a chain whip (metal is a conductor, after all) or a rope dart. Something that can be thrown far and whipped around (WHIP? LIKE HIT SONG AND NINJAGO THEME WEEKEND WHI-). It’s also a very flashy and eye catching weapon that needs quite a bit of movement and precision to use, and I think it suits Jay’s personality well! He’s a very intelligent character and something that needs precision and maybe even calculations would fit him. Rope darts in particular are, well, as quick as lightning. Speed is his greatest ally, and the wide range and high flexibility allotted to him serves to only make his job easier.

Zane: Shuriken aren’t the worst thing, but they also don’t fit Zane. He's a versatile fighter when it comes to range and never uses his shuriken close-up since they’re typically used as throwing weapons and are too small to really be good at defensive maneuvers.

I would give him either a polearm or chakrams- both weapons that can be either short or long range and take skill to master. (Chakrams are circular blades that originate from India and Southeast Asia that can be thrown or used as hand to hand weapons.) I could also see Zane using throwing knives- once again, they are both long- and short-range weapons that a user can have multiple at a time. In fan art, I usually see him drawn with a bow and arrow (I’m only on season five so I don’t know if he does switch to a bow as his go to weapon), but unless he’s Legolas, if an enemy gets close, he’s cooked.

Lloyd: Lloyd suffers from Specialest Character Syndrome, where the Specialest Character gets the most boring weapon because that’s the most easily identifiable one. He has a katana, which, yeah, cool, he’s a ninja…BORING!! I think he should get Jay’s nunchaku. One of the biggest themes around Lloyd is duality. He’s the green ninja, he’s the golden ninja. He’s so young, but also old after being forcefully aged. He’s a human…but half oni. He’s the son of Garmadon, but the protector of Ninjago, etc. Having a double-grip weapon symbolizes that and allows for enough speed and enough brute strength for him to use effectively. And it’s very ninja.

Kai: Specialest Character Syndrome #2. He’s the Main Guy, and as the Main Guy of a Team, he gets to be red. And have a sword. And have fire powers. It’s just how these things work. It’s cliched, yes, but fire is an interesting element. It’s quick, but devastating. Strong and painful, but not solid.

A sword allows for quick, successive strikes, but also allows for heavy and powerful swings. It’s a good balance, and very unassuming. For someone like Kai, who thought he was the Green Ninja and likes being the center of attention, having such a simple and basic weapon and being forced to learn it’s actually a good choice with a lot of versatility would work. (I can practically hear him complaining: “but, Sensei, even Jay’s weapon is cooler than mine!”) I think he should stick with the sword! There are lots of types depending on the area of the world and time period, so this allows a lot of flexibility.

Nya: I'm not that far into the series so I actually haven't seen her become a ninja and am going off of vibes alone.

Make her spear a trident. Guys. C’mon. It's RIGHT THERE. I think a spear fits the elegant and fluid nature of water, and trident goes with the theme! Yeah, it’s a little obvious, but sometimes you just gotta commit to the bit.

[9mysterybook6]

What do I expect from this coward?🤦‍♀️

I told her to come and face me.

But guess what Rhylie did?

Rhylie you can't run away from me not after you keep lying and harassing us

you tried to escape again

This is exactly what Rhylie did on her old account.

I will continue to spread awareness about Rhylie to everyone.

But look at her actions

I'm so scared she said

And Rhylie is still playing the victim.

I thought at least is not that worst

But I was very wrong

because of that the spoiled brat Rhylie

First I never said that I queen of Tumblr But that was you

You insisted on saying you are queen of Tumblr

I have evidence in the previous posts that you said this.

Plus Rhylie says that she is a god to all us🙄😬

And secondly

I never damsel in distress

I don't need anyone to save me

I can face my battles alone unlike you, you coward who hides behind your followers.

I said you are a fake damsel in distress And I did not mention myself in this phrase

else

Delete this now, You do not have the right to publish this drawing.

This drawing belongs to torrentialchaos.

This was an old drawing

When torrentialchaos didn't know Rhylie for who she really was

torrentialchaos story

((Alright, time for my story on Rhylie…

So, a while back, you may recall I did an art trade with Pami, and I very much enjoyed doing it.

Anyway, the next day, I got an ask in my inbox from her asking if I do requests, and of course I said yes. This was before I knew who she really was.

Anyway, her request was very simple. Draw herself, Pami, and a few other people (that she probably is also harassing) in the pose from Turning Red, which I did

Yes, I’m finally showing this now. Only so you can see what this creep made me do. I feel disgusted looking at this because I spent a good amount of time making this, only to find out I was being used for a stalker.

After I made this and posted it, I messaged Pami, of course since she was in it, and that’s when I found out the truth. Disgusted, I deleted the post immediately and blocked her.

And guess what happened next. A little later, I get a message from HER FRIEND asking me to unblock her! I unfortunately know what this is like as I had something similar happen to me once another time, but I’d rather not talk about that…

So yeah, that’s my Rhylie story. We need to get this creep off of tumblr for good.))

I feel bad for torrentialchaos

But what makes me angry is the response of Rhylie If you read what is in the picture

The worst thing is Rhylie taking The drawing without the owner's permission.

Seriously, torrentialchaos posted how they hates you now and you take the drawing and say three points

That's all matters to Rhylie.

her requests and demands

else Rhylie You prove it that you are 100% a Creep

I'm talking about this

@rainbow-starheart and @shadowwolfmemes was asked an important question

And you say you are 21 old And sensitive

You are asking someone with Different age from you to date you.

You don't even know them

They only know Rhylie through the drama

You ask to be in a relationship with people, you barely talked to them

Plus She wrote her name this way

(rhylie the cater fly is not a creep🤣🤣🤣🤣)

and other thing, I see your conversation with @rainbow-starheart

You want to get rid of me, you donkey

Don't make me laugh

What will you do? Will you send me one of your followers on me Or ask them to expose me

You are really stupid🤣🤣🤣

Guys I want to remind you, that Rhylie tried to make evidence against me In her old blog.

And it was very bad and weak evidence.

On top of that, she was confident of her weak evidence.

If you don't know what Rhylie evidence is

So let me tell you the funny thing.

Rhylie evidence was just a screenshot of On insults🤣🤣

just like that

There were many errors in Rhylie evidence.

First of all How do you know if this is was me huh

You just take a screenshot of the letters and Nothing indicates my blog

Unlike you, I take full screenshot on your blog

and secondly You can play with the letters.

You can easily mix my insults With fake sentences from you

For example, you can write something and take screenshot And you say I said this

and thirdly

She was very confident in them.

(((This is the real evidence, My own evidence are true and there are many truths about your true color that you've kept hiding from me and you lied and making everyone turned against me,

Unlike you, you're f**king delusional about your business and controlling everyone for what you have did to me.

Don't you see that all this hate posts about me makes others win against your fking Filthy mouth of yours, you're the worst gacha community leader ever and it is ugly and disgraceful, you have been kicked out from gacha community group, shame on you mysteryb*h!!!!!!

I won't let everyone forgive you…….))))

I'm laughing like crazy at Rhylie stupidity.

Even if one of Rhylie's followers tried to exposed me

They will be thrown Tomatoes at them.

Because first of all there is nothing to expose me at all

And secondly, if they tried to cover up Your crimes With an excuse and empty arguments, than Their position will be very bad.

And thirdly

If they try to lie about the truth or deny it

Their position will be very bad if they lied.

For example, if they said that @pamithebunterfly2007 Under mysterybook control And her lies

pami will respond angrily: This is not true.

pami: and Who gave you the right to say that?

pami: Rhylie is the problem

pami: Rhylie is a old creep stalker me!!! And you dare to say that mysterybook controls me

And pami showering them with their anger While others agree too

You're just making yourself worse and worse every second.

You can't get away with harassing people that easily without punishment.

So I suggest you to delete your blog from here Rhylie

I'm not afraid of you, You coward

Face it I'm the winner in this drama

[stiltsthegm]

What if you just had fun?

When I'm really bored at work and need something to distract me, but can't get TOO distracted (due to the aforementioned work), I like to watch challenge runs. This inevitably leads to me getting other videos that are tangentially-related to the game that was the subject of the video I just saw, and that's how I stumbled upon this one:

And it was fascinating to me in a way that made me feel a need to say something about it. Not in, like, a mean way (I'm aiming for a gentle ribbing, at most). There's been thoughts stirring in me for a while now about how disconnected I can sometimes feel between the ways I experience games and how "content creators" play games that are simply fascinating to me.

Although I do recommend watching at least some of the video to get the gist of what's happening, I'll do my best to accurately summarize the main thing that prompted this whole post. The author has played Skyrim a lot, almost always with a bunch of mods, and nearly always played it the same way: stealth archer. However, he recently tried a challenge playthrough that essentially forced him to engage in a bunch of systems he never paid much attention to before: alchemy, blacksmithing, mining, herb gathering, and shouts to name just a few. He even found himself using fast travel less, because it meant he could do gathering and transmutation magic while going to his next destination instead of going out of his way to grind out everything right before he needed it. This ended up giving him a greater appreciation for how an un-modded Skyrim actually works and is deeper than he originally gave it credit for.

My first reaction to this was perhaps a little uncharitable: "Were you even playing Skyrim at all until now?"

In a previous video he made (which I also watched), he talks about why stealth archery is so popular. He posits that it's the only combat method that plays well with Skyrim's other systems, since its damage scales well, it's precise (very little worry about hitting friendly NPCs), it's the easiest way to engage in stealth mechanics, and it's just generally pretty powerful. I'm mostly sympathetic to that opinion, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't find stealth archer to be my favorite way to play.

However, I was completely blindsided by someone saying they didn't engage in so many of these other systems. Like, yes, you can simply buy armor and weapons and potions, so alchemy and blacksmithing isn't mandatory. You can ignore it if you want to. But to not EVER try to engage with it?

I've encountered this sort of disconnect before in a way I found much more frustrating. You see, I really like the Civilization games, but I'm kind of bad at intuiting the systems at play on my own. I often look up videos from much smarter people to help me build a foundation of understanding so I can then at least make terrible choices on purpose rather than on accident. I was watching one particular Youtuber's reactions to some Civ 7 gameplay previews and found myself constantly baffled by the statements they were making. There were several little things that irritated me, but the one that finally made me turn off the video was a criticism of Civ 7 trying to implement story events like Paradox games do. They mentioned they hated that kind of mechanic and completely ignored the writing, just picking whichever choice offered the best mechanical advantage at the time. It was then that I realized this analysis video was going to be completely useless to me. We had very different priorities, and they had no interest in considering the changes from any angle other than the very narrow one they've always used. Like, sure, maybe it will end up being bad, but this is one preview video of one playthrough. Being angry at just the concept of story events seemed absurd.

There are folks out there who like "solving" video games. They find the most efficient, most powerful thing they can do, and they do that. Over and over and over again. I think what hit me most about the Skyrim video was that I wasn't expecting to find that kind of playstyle applied to that game. Skyrim exists so you can play in it. I sometimes make characters that run up to guys and hit them with a big sword not because it's the best way to play the game, but because it's just funny to hit guys with a big sword. I explore the map because Skyrim's world is beautiful, and I like simply being in it. I gather herbs because it gives me something to do while hiking and I like how the plant's graphic changes after I collect it. I do things in Skyrim not because I'm forced to, but because I want to explore what the game has to offer. And lately, I sometimes choose to not do things because I want to play a role.

The more I thought about Thane's Skyrim video, the more I grew fond of it. It starts out as just another challenge run where he's thinking about mechanical efficiency, and ends with him appreciating just how many different things he can do in the base game (Building a house! Marriage! Praying at shrines!) and how these systems interact with each other. That's neat! I genuinely love that someone who plays these games from a completely different mindset than I do can keep an open mind and learn to share my love of these mechanics. I wish I saw it happen more often.