#but I may change it more between now and posting

[randomfoggytiger]

I always feel like Mulder doesn't get enough/any comeuppance for the whole Diana arc. I know you have a list of Diana fics but do you have any specific recs for where he is truly made to suffer consequences?

Collector's Edition: One Son's Repentance

I believe Mulder's suffering and consequences were meted out in Biogenesis-Amor Fati: circumstances which forced him to confront and reform the cracked foundations in his psyche.

That aside: there weren't any on-screen scenes that addressed One Son's rift, now were there? And while the writers and actors and crew barreled onward towards more laughs and light times, viewers were left a bit short-changed, I'd say.

Which is what fanfic's for, isn't it?

Loose chronological order below~

@baronessblixen's

Never Cold With You By My Side

Her anger dissipates as she catches sight of Mulder in that too-small bed, looking like a giant sleeping in a dwarf’s bed. There’s half a smile on his face and a hopeful gleam in his eyes that disarms her. Tonight, it’s not enough. It may not be his fault that they’re locked in here, but when push came to shove, he chose Diana, the path of least resistance.

“I want to sleep,” she says, squashing whatever hope he might have had of making her laugh with his jokes tonight. “It’s been a long day,” she adds.

AU-- Mulder and Scully spend a night in Fort Marlene.

Mulder gets really mad at Scully for running from their feelings

“Look at me, Scully." 

"No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m giving you privacy.”

“I didn’t ask for privacy. I don’t want privacy.” I want you, his mind screams. 

“Well, why don’t you ask Agent Fowley back then. I’m sure she’d love to keep you company.” Before he can utter another word, she passes by him and walks out without a glance back.

One Son Mulder and Scully are at cross-purposes.

Fictober Day 18: At The Crossroads

“This isn’t just about us stranding here, is it?” She doesn’t answer. “Is it because of-”

“It’s not,” she says too quickly.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“It’s not because of anyone,” she says, turning to him and staring straight into his eyes. She won’t say the other woman’s name. She’s not important. “It’s because of me.”

“You don’t want to be doing this anymore.” Mulder lets go of her arm as though burned by her touch.

Post-One Son tensions are heightened by a broken-down rental and scorching temperatures.

Making Progress

“No, Diana. That was all you.” Mulder’s voice picks up, is louder now over the fake laughter on the screen. “No, I did not. Not once.” If only Scully could hear Diana’s side of the conversation. Mulder is quiet, appears to listen. He sighs once, runs his hand over his face.

“Scully is my partner, Diana.” Scully stands up straight, takes her lower lip between her teeth, worrying it. She should not be here, should not be listening in on this private conversation. But why can’t she leave?

Arcadia Scully overhears Mulder's phone call.

In Sickness And in Health (Ao3)

The waitress wanders off, leaving Mulder and Scully alone with their thoughts and their silence. He starts playing with the salt and pepper shakers, his hands unable to stay still. Scully wishes she had something to say. Anything. She watches and waits for the waitress and their food. Her stomach is in knots. She knows it’s not just because she hasn’t eaten anything in a while. It’s because of whatever is happening between her and Mulder. She wants things to go back to normal, but she still flinches when he touches her. The way he treated their first case back still leaves a sour taste in her mouth. The way he treated her, as his wife, even more so.

Maybe they should have sent Diana with him.

Post-Arcadia Scully and Mulder draw back together when she's hit with a nasty case of food poisoning.

@queeenpersephone/light_loves_the_dark's

wishbone

If Diana’s a liar, then Scully will be the only person to hold him without hurting him. And as much as he loves her, the idea that only one person has ever loved him without ulterior motives is almost unbearable. Is he that hopeless? Is he that unloveable? 

He’s ready to bark at Diana to give them a minute when Scully catches him by the wrist, and the fact that she’s still willing to touch him makes him hate everything a little less. He wants to touch her too: everywhere. To climb over her and into her and block out the past few months in the solace of her body. For now, he settles for turning back to her without a second thought to Diana, watching as she breathes in and out before speaking. “If you love me,” she says carefully, her voice breaking on love, “prove it.”

One Son Scully refuses to join Mulder and Diana.

in this metallic silence

“It has been six years,” Scully says quietly, like she is empty. Like she has lost a fight that he didn’t even know they were having. Lost a war while he has been on a different battlefield altogether. “If I am still just assigned to you, I should go.”

Post-One Son Mulder's trust in Diana is finally torn away after Scully is injured in the field.

Erin M. Blair's

Never Me

Does he trust me?

Sometimes, I wonder.

One Son Scully is fed up with the lies and deceit.

Mistaken Moments

"Are you going to quit?" asked Mulder.

"Is that what you think I should do?" inquired Scully. Her eyes flashed with anger at Mulder. "Sometimes I don't think you really trust me. You have droned on and on about how not to trust other people but then you placed your trust with Diana Fowley. And I wonder why." Mulder and Scully were both in the elevator towards the basement office. As Scully watched the floors go by, she turned towards Mulder, "I wonder why you trust her."

Post-One Son Skinner has to facilitate a vacation for his emotionally bruised agents.

@minuete-blog's Done

“No. We’re done. I’m done.” She looked at him slightly wide-eyed, stunned at her remark seeing the mirrored expression on Mulder’s face. Did she genuinely feel that way?

One Son Scully reaches her limit.

@contrivedcoincidences6/Spooky66/geektime66's Things you said #10 (Ao3)

He sees her there, still in her car but she doesn’t see him. Scully’s face is in her hands and her shoulders are shaking. The need to run and comfort her overwhelms him. He can count on one hand the times that he’s seen her cry.

Before he can second-guess himself he knocks on her window, startling her.

One Son Mulder promises to verify Diana's trustworthiness.

Diadem's

Scene 15 - Winner Takes All

Some little part of you must know that I love you. I never told you, it wasn't really necessary. But I'll be there when you fall, Mulder, and as always I'll be right beside you to pick you up again.

One Son Scully doesn't know what Mulder sees in Diana.

Maybe and Movement With Time

id he ever find me useful? Were my theories, my versions of events ever taken seriously, or was I simply around for amusement value? Did he ever find me attractive, as a woman, rather than a gun-toting authority figure? I thought he did. Maybe he didn't.

Post-One Son Scully navigates her complicated feelings with distance, looking for evidence of Mulder's loyalty and devotion.

Dianora's Impasse

The ride back from the Air Force hangar passed in tension-laden silence, none of the passengers in the car ready to discuss what they had seen, or the carnage they had witnessed. Despite her inner turmoil, Scully half-dozed for much of the ride, the physical and mental exhaustion of the past 24 hours finally catching up with her. She was looking forward to a long hot bath and then a good night's sleep, but when Skinner pulled up in front of Scully's apartment building, Mulder got out of the car too.

"What are you doing?" she asked, slamming the car door shut.

"I'm going in with you, so we can talk."

One Son Mulder stubbornly clings to Diana's friendship, forcing Scully to prod the limits of his loyalty.

Vehemently's Rainbow Sign

Agent Spender matched his white dress shirt, the arterial red a startling speckle on skin and cloth alike. Mulder noticed the gauze padding that blood was gluing to the man's ribcage. Scully, who had worked hard to forget her rotation in emergency medicine, saw instead the face upturned, nostrils gaping and half-open eyes revealing only the whites.

They stood together like that, in the hallway, while the elevator took on its passengers and began to close. Before the doors had closed all the way, the paramedics began shouting to each other. There was just a glimpse to be had of a man climbing astraddle the gurney before the doors were shut and all they saw were their own dull reflections.

Post-One Son Mulder pieces together the breadth of Diana Fowley's duplicity.

@is-on-its-way/Ophelia_is_a_nun's In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son (Ao3)

He did have to talk to Scully. The stooges had been a little bit right. He had been a jerk at their place. But not because Scully might have been wrong, because he had so much else on his mind that seemed so dire at the time. Preventing an invasion of colonist aliens for one. That when she’d made it clear she didn’t trust his judgement, it had been the last straw for his patience.  But he’d been dismissive and mean in a way he’d never been with her. He’d hurt her, and he was terrified she would leave him for good. He needed to try to make this right. 

Mulder, Scully, and the aftermath of One Son.

JLB's Car Ride

We haven't spoken for the last ten minutes, but I will not be the one to break the silence. I refuse to give in first even though I know that this entire situation is strange and I should make allowances. I'm driving Skinner's car, which he graciously offered to us since he had to stick around and oversee the official investigation. Part of me wishes I that I had insisted on staying, that I had just let Mulder take the car and go by himself. I could have caught a ride with someone else later. But then I would have been avoiding the inevitable, not confronting this head on. Not like I'm actually confronting anything now, but at least we're sitting in the same car, even if it is in complete silence.

But I refuse to speak first. I will not do it. For a variety of reasons. Yes, I'm still angry with him.

One Son Scully and Mulder are goaded into tears and confessions.

@all-these-ghosts/all_these_ghosts's what happened in the scene at the Lone Gunmen between Mulder and Scully in Two Fathers/One Son?

“I went to her apartment,” he says. For a moment his eyes lose focus, and she goes very, very still. “After what you said at the Gunmen’s. I went to see if I could find any evidence that she…that she’s what you say.”

She can’t keep the hope out of her voice. “Did you?”

“No.” And the hope evaporates. “But while I was there, the Smoking Man stopped by.”

Her eyes flash up to his. “At her apartment?”

“He said he was looking for his son,” Mulder says, “but I don’t—I don’t know anymore. Diana didn’t seem surprised by any of it. Not the fact that he was there, not the fact that the world as we know it was about to end.”

There are so many things she wants to ask him, but she stays quiet, waiting for him to go on.

Post-One Son Mulder and Scully are reinstated.

Vesalius's The Estrangement of Shared Purpose

At the sound of her voice, Mulder stopped and looked up. Scully solemnly held his gaze for a moment, and then spoke again.

"And if we..." she paused briefly, placing emphasis on the "we", "are going to look for answers, we need to talk."

Mulder stiffened, blinked slowly, and said quietly: "About?"

"About our ability to continue working together."

"Are you saying you want to quit?"

"No. I'm saying I have concerns about our ability to work together effectively as partners."

AU-- Post-One Son Scully's frustration forces Mulder to open up about his past.

Brandon D. Ray's There But By the Grace of God

Diana. How could I have been so wrong about her? How could I have failed to see the signs? Especially when my own partner, the one I have come to trust as no other, my one in five billion, kept trying to get through to me, kept rubbing my nose in the unpleasant facts that I didn't want to see, didn't want to hear, didn't want to know. How could I have been so blind?

Scully... I'm so sorry.

Post-One Son Mulder's contemplation.

Shoshana's Breathing Room

Mulder glanced through the peephole, saw Scully, and threw open the deadbolt. The knock had sounded familiar but he'd been nervous all day since young Spender's blood was found in their basement office. He was less concerned about Diana's whereabouts, not wanting to dwell on her betrayal.

He didn't want to think about his ex-partner and sometime friend because he didn't want to face Scully.

Post-One Son Mulder and Scully have an honest conversation about his guilt.

Jennifer Brady's Laughing Out Loud

"That's it? I sign this, and we're back?" I ask, running my fingers over Mulder's jittery scrawl.

He smiles a bit and nods. "That's it,"

I quickly grab a pen and try to unwrinkle the paper. Mulder's right behind me, I can feel his breath. All of a sudden, I am struck with a realization. If this is going to happen, it's going to be on my terms.

AU-- Post-One Son Scully seizes an opportunity to forge her own conditions.

@agent-troi, @tofuttim, and baronessblixen's Eden

Mulder’s arms wrapped around her completely, like he was afraid she would escape.

“What are you doing, Mulder?” she whispered.

“I…” his voice was tight, unsteady. “I need you to be still for a moment, to let your guard down and hear me. Can you do that?”

“Okay…” Scully said cautiously, realizing the warmth and pressure of his wrapped arms instantly brought her comfort.

“I’m sorry.”

AU-- Post-One Son Scully is furious over the events of the past few days (if not years.)

@alienbaby-babymama's 12 Days of Ficmas (Ao3)

 He didn’t want to believe it.

“You told me you loved me.” Diana barely hears his muffled statement but she’s prepared with her retort.

“I told you a lot of things I didn’t mean.”

Post-One Son Mulder has to know.

amorfati3215's

I watched AmorFati and actually had a dream about it last night.

When he’d walked into the office earlier that morning he’d hoped for an easy day; he had a headache brewing, no doubt a result of little sleep the previous night, and for once he just wanted to go eight hours without arguing with Scully.

Post-One Son Scully is not letting the matter go.

Prompt: Post ONE SON.

So instead she enquiredabout vacations further afield, and ten minutes later found herself booked on abreak to St Lucia in the Caribbean. Sun, sea, relaxation, not to mentioncopious amounts of rum and somewhere Mulder wouldn’t think to look - it wasjust what she needed. 

But now she was back, and as Scully walked into the Bureau building, she felt a ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach as she prepared to face her partner once again.

AU-- Post-One Son Scully finds herself replaced by Diana.

@foxmulders's daniel waterson just knocks on scully’s door, hoping to rekindle things

In all the years she’d known him, Daniel had never ended a lecture a minute early or a second late. Which is to say: The man had an uncanny sense of timing.

AU-- Post-One Son Daniel Waterston shows up on Scully's doorstep.

@gaycrouton's Up Close and Personal

"What part of 'I want to be alone' was confusing, Mulder?" she asked, venom lacing her tone. She took a few steps forward to confront him but was shocked at the damage her room had taken in such a short amount of time.

"Trouble in paradise?" an unexpected voice teased from behind her.

Scully jumped forward and whipped around, immediately making eye contact with the last person she expected to see: Alex Krycek.

Post-One Son Scully and Mulder's distance is broken by a particularly cruel manipulation on Krycek's part.

@cecilysass's One Hand Tied (Ao3)

Scully doesn’t see the point of this kind of charade. Surely she understands that the gig is up. Surely she doesn't think anyone is fooled by this friendly, reasonable persona she puts on. Surely she doesn't think Mulder is softening towards her. Is she actually attempting to win him back?

There's abruptly a bitter taste in Scully's mouth behind the gag. She hopes that’s a ludicrous idea. But Mulder has not been entirely predictable where Diana is concerned.

AU-- Post-One Son Diana Fowley preys on Scully's growing distrust, ferreting Mulder away under the guise of lovestruck abandonment.

@actual-changeling's

the definition of insanity

They will try again tomorrow, and maybe it will be different, maybe they will mend and heal, maybe she will slide her fingers between his and squeeze.

Maybe they will find the truth tomorrow.

Post-One Son Scully is struggling to forgive.

agent_starbuck's What You Don't Know

“Scully…” he breathes, her name rolling thickly off his tongue, and her belly flutters at the way he says it. She hates that he can do that. Even when she’s furious at him. She settles a palm against her stomach, willing the sensation to go away. It never does.

Before she realizes it, he’s made his way to the living room, planting himself on the coffee table across from her.

“I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have second guessed you or your intentions. I don’t expect you to forgive me. But at least let me try to make amends.”

His confession is a breath of fresh air to her weary soul. It is definitely a start. But she needs more than his cool, practiced and calculated words.

Post-One Son Scully takes a personal day.

@lotsoforangesoutside's Mulder’s Chickadee (Ao3)

“Was she your partner like… I was?” Scully never beat around the bushes, he knew.

“Are you asking me…” His voice trailed off.

“The Boys called her your chickadee.” She spat. “Though I certainly don’t want to ever be reduced to Mulder’s Chickadee, yet… How personal was she to you, Mulder?”

He wondered if he should get up and put some clothes on. This is Scully, his heart reminded him, Scully will never hurt you.

His brain chose this exact moment to pipe up about him being shot in the shoulder.

Post-One Son Scully confronts Mulder over what TLG had said.

Defnotmeyo's Unnamed

Mulder will forever remember that from the last meeting in Kersh’s office, Jeffrey proved himself the bigger man.  

Dribble.  Bonk.  Mulder rebounds the ball.  The thunk of his dribble echoes in his maniac mind.  

There are more apologies to be made.  Considering Diana’s body was not among the remains of El Rico.  

“Thou-thought they could sleep with the enemy.”  A statement. A gaze.  A skeptical eyebrow.  And a billion apologies swallowed in Kersh’s office.

Post-One Son Mulder dribbles the ball as he processes.

Lynn Saunders's Unbreakable (Gossamer)

"Don't think, Scully. Don't talk. Just listen," he says in his rushed, single-minded manner, all in one breath. He has wandered through the grimy streets, through the storm raging outside, to stand here looming in her doorway, dangerous in his black leather jacket. His hair is slicked back, dripping rainwater down his collar.

"I don't know where things started going wrong or why we've been acting this way when we're together... but I'm not leaving until we fix it."

Post-One Son Scully brings to mind Melissa's courage.

@wtfmulder's Sharp Turn Blues

Scully looked surprised by his entrance which made him feel worse. It was her intention, then, to brush it all off, let it fester, only to add it to a checklist she could later refer to when she eventually came to her senses and left, like she’d threatened just days before. She sat on the floor with her knees tucked in, a microwaved meal going cold on the coffee table . Something dramatic and mind-numbing played on the TV.

“Mulder?” She asked, making no move to get up. She was tired, so, so tired, he could see it on her face. He imagined what it must have looked like before he’d burst in, the listless shoveling of bland food into a sullen mouth, a half hour flipping through channels only to land on something she didn’t even like.

Post-One Son Mulder confesses his feelings.

@sigritandtheelves/DarlaBlack's Hurt's Hopeful Plunder

She sat down again on the couch, farther from him this time. She stared at her fingers, which were folded in her lap. “Do you want to be with her?” Scully asked, her voice so low he could hardly hear.

He thought for a moment. Part of him did, maybe–the part that hated himself and thought he deserved whatever misery Diana had to offer up. But that part had always been prone lies and terrible self-destruction. What his heart wanted was right here, glowing in a rumpled bathrobe and bare feet, but bruised by his miserable tendencies. “No,” he said.

“Do you love her?” Impossibly, quieter. Still, she didn’t look at him.

Post-One Son Mulder's apology spills into more.

thenonexisting's life is just a game. - Chapter 1  

“You smell good, Mrs Petrie,” he rumbled.

Just like that, the veneer shattered.

“Stop.”

Hands thrown up, she pulled entirely away from him and hopped off the counter. Stumbling dizzily towards the sink, she ran the water and splashed her face. Wake up, Dana.

AU-- Arcadia Mulder and Scully have a short and painful post-One Son discussion.

Anne Haynes's Friendly, Whole, and First Day Back

Her dark eyes were sympathetic. "I heard other things, too."

"Spender's resignation?" It wasn't what she meant, and he knew it, but he wasn't going to talk to her about Scully.

"Seems he's cleared out of town." She gave a little shrug, uninterested. "But that's not really what I was talking about--"

"We're just settling in. First day back." He changed the subject with a faint air of desperation. The cafeteria seemed close and small. He looked across the table at Diana and felt something dark and mean curl in his gut. Suspicion, something he'd fought against when Scully tried to bring her own doubts to his attention.

Post-One Son Scully and Mulder struggle back in their partnership, wanting to vent and understand and find their own answers.

EPurSeMouve's Dinner

She raises her eyebrows, confused. He thinks it's confusion, at any rate. He is just starting to realize that there is so much about her he doesn't understand...

"It's been a while, Diana. Three weeks. And I've been doing a lot of thinking, trying to figure out a lot of what happened... It still doesn't make a lot of sense. But I can't help wondering about what role you had in all of this."

Post-One Son Mulder realizes the old Diana is gone.

yukla's like a lonely house 

Scully’s hardly listening anymore. Grab dinner, he said. 

As if they’re stopping at one of the endlessly sticky dinners on the side of the road after a long day of investigation with nothing to show for it, tossing change over the counter in exchange for the country’s gummiest cheeseburgers. As if they’re doing overtime on a weekend and pulling cold, smushed sandwiches out of their bags to wolf down before returning to their paperwork. As if she hadn’t been waiting on this moment for ages now, as if she hadn’t summoned all the courage in her body preparing herself for this night, hoping that he would feel the same. She’d assumed he did.

Scully nods sharply to herself, feels her stupid, lonely, dangly earring bounce off her jaw with the movement. That strange hot feeling, high in her face now, creeps into the space behind her eyes, and with sudden clarity, she recognizes it as humiliation. 

Post-One Son Scully believes Mulder no longer has romantic intentions.

Vivian's Amends

"Scully, I'm sorry."

"Mulder, this is not your fault."

"I mean for, well, for all of it." He ran an agitated hand through his hair. He took a few more steps, and stood still, his back facing her. She could practically see him struggling for words.

Despite the unremitting pain in her wrist, Scully felt the tension she'd been carrying for the past weeks slowly begin to slip away. Glancing outside, she noticed the gloom was beginning to dissipate. "It looks like it's letting up a bit," she noted. His shoulders dropped a notch, and his stiff posture eased.

Post-One Son Scully realizes Mulder is trying to show he cares, in his own way.

@leiascully's Endeavors Too Short of Desires 

There are days lately that they just prickle at each other until the air is so charged he isn't sure one of them won't take a swing. He gets smug and she gets arch and he wants to remind her of Scully-that-was with the bad suits and the naivete, but the quips dry up when he looks at Scully-that-is, who might just shoot him to shut him up, her eyebrow cocking almost audibly as a pistol. It was easier when they were upstairs, Moose and Squirrel against the Badinovs. Now they've won and they're back in their weird seclusion, and he spends all day trying not to think about things. Diana and Spender and the enormous scar on Scully's stomach and a normal life and that's just for starters. Scully nags at him: he should be thinking of his knees, his cholesterol, his prostate, his geriatric future chasing phantoms, and he almost blushes under her cool stare as she dissects him and gets irritable about that.

Post-One Son Mulder ruminates on Scully's innumerable losses and the endless road pitching them perpetually forward.

@settle-down-frohike's Desert Woman

He mourns not meeting her first, before anyone. He can’t help wanting to assume the best in anyone who’s ever even pretended to understand him, but he wishes he could, for both their sakes. 

Post-One Son Mulder, Scully, and TLG at a birthday party.

OnlyFoxMulder's Sunshine in the Rain

Indignant at first, it took a long drive and a greasy burger from his favorite hole in the wall to see the light. Then, he called Scully. It was late, definitely after midnight, and he found her awake and willing to finally conquer the growing space between them. In the end, it worked. After that night, the air felt lighter; they allowed themselves to joke with each other again, even flirt a little bit when the mood struck them. He was delighted to have her back, the giddiness he felt every morning returned. She was smiling again, albeit less than she did before Diana, but she flashed him many of her cute tight-lipped smiles that made his insides turn over. 

Post-Milagro Mulder mulls over his and Scully's post-One Son reconciliation after Padgett's attack.

fxckthishit 's You're It

Her breath hitched as his voice twisted something painfully within her. Foregoing the feeling, though, Scully stiffened her spine and crossed her arms. “What’s there to talk about?” She got her coat, “I’m not abandoning you, Mulder, if you are worried about that. I don’t know about you, but my priority has always been my work and the X-files.” She started heading out the room before turning around at the doorway, regarding Mulder with a look. “We’re partners, Mulder. I still got your back. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the scene,” she turned around and walked away, leaving Mulder dazed with only the receding sound of her heels, the cacophony of his muddled thoughts and an eerily familiar scent.

AU-- Post Amor Fati Diana Fowley is alive and squirming her way back into Mulder's life, forcing Scully to erect inner walls for the sake of the partnership.

Shoshana's Recovery 01, Recovery 02, Recovery 03, and Recovery 04

From my conversations with Scully and the journal entries I've made it through so far, we were both going to deny that moment ever occurred for the sake of our partnership. The indignity of having the X-Files ripped out from under us, the embarrassment of scut work like background checks and fertilizer investigations must have suppressed my libido in a big way.

Most likely, and from what I read between my own lines, I lost my nerve, waiting for her to give me some sign, show me how she felt. I wasn't willing to take the risk and lose her forever, not after she chose to stay with me, X-Files or not. She remained my partner, my best friend all last year. And I'm so very grateful for that. But something must have happened last February that shook her up, made her extraordinarily sensitive to the mere mention of Diana's name.

AU-- S7 Mulder wakes from an injury with amnesia; and, via Scully and his journal, slowly catches up on the past year's events.

BONUS

Flywoman's The Blessed One Bites the Bullet

"Here it is," he said triumphantly. "Diana Fowley, Special Agent with the VCS from September 1985 through October 1987. Seems she was suspended from duty following a joint panel investigation into certain unauthorized extra-governmental employment opportunities."

"Drugs?" Scully asked. "Weapons? Embezzling Bureau funds?"

Frohike consulted his sheet. "Apparently she played a starring role in a soft core porn film with some nobody called David Doo-chuhvnee."

Crack-- Post-One Son Scully ends up siding with Diana Fowley.

Ryo Sen's Revanche

Pulling the antenna up with her teeth, Scully punched the Send button and answered, "Scully." She felt supremely stupid with a phone to each ear.

"Who are you talking to?" Mulder's familiar voice demanded. "Your phone's been busy for hours."

Scully paused, unsure how much she wanted to confide in her partner. Deciding to share as little as possible, she asked, "What's the problem, Mulder?"

AU-- Post-One Son Scully's nightmares begin to unravel her abduction memories.

@writingwell/RocketMan/Darkstryder's Refuge of Lies

Mulder kept too much from her. If some police department somewhere found something about Emily or the other fetuses, she wasn't confident that Mulder would tell her.

And now, she'd been e-mailed this article about an unknown virus, her contacts were reporting some suspicious stuff, and large quantities of medical supplies were being moved across the globe, through holding companies and warehouses that had no real board of directors.

The worst news of all. . .three microbiologists had disappeared, two pre-natal doctors had been lost at sea, and thirteen virologists were either reported missing or presumed dead.

She was going to be sick. This couldn't be happening all over again.

Post-One Son Scully and Mulder are caught up in the Consortium and Rebel war.

@mldrgrl's Looking Back: Nine Moments That Changed Things

“Sorry,” Scully said, jumping in surprise and then fumbling with the keys.

Mulder put his hand on her wrist and she held her breath.  “You could tell me we’re going to Florida,” he said, “and I’d say my overnight bag is in the trunk. You could tell me we’re going to Switzerland, and I’d say, good thing my passport is in the glove compartment. Scully, you could tell me we’re going to McDonalds and I’d say I love French fries.” 

It was quiet for the next few moments and Mulder ran his thumb over the side of Scully’s wrist.  She sniffed lightly and then inclined her head towards him, but cast her eyes down to his knees.

“You know I don’t like McDonalds,” she said.

Mulder smiled at her and her lips curled slightly as well. “You could also just tell me you’re taking me home,” he said.

“And what would you say to that?”

“I’d say, maybe you’d like to come up for awhile. Unless there’s somewhere else you need to be.”

Mulder and Scully's personal journey from Alpha to Millennium.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[kanmom51]

How do we know they are more than just best friends?

Someone asked me this the other day. After watching their latest joint live or parts of it:

"How do we know they are actually a couple? How do we know they are more than just best friends? Isn't that just the usual banter between friends?"

And I was thinking to myself: "how do I answer this?"

How do I explain how they are just so much more than best friends.

Is it that I recognize the signs being in a loving and healthy long term relationship for over 30 years? And others that might not have had the good fortune of experiencing this kind of relationship just can't see the signs? Is it about them being 2 men that makes it harder to reconcile with their behaviours and assigning them to it being couple behaviours? Is it because of their fame or looks or opportunities or maybe because they are so young that people find it hard to accept that they have been in a committed long term relationship for years and are each other's "THE ONE" for life? Is it the intensity of it all? How can they be a couple and behave the same consistent way for close to a decade now? How is it possible that they are acting as attracted as they were to each other 10 years ago? That doesn't make sense, so that must mean that maybe we are reading it incorrectly and it's not attraction, they aren't a couple, because how can someone look as in love as they were 10 years ago with that same person?

And though I have written many posts in the past, which can be found on my masterlist, I feel like there has been an uptick in this attitude - Jikook are best friends and not a couple, so I thought I should address this.

This will be about what I believe. What I see. What I recognize.

Also, for those who are all about "maybe they were together but aren't anymore" or something similar, I will ask: if that's true how is it that absolutely nothing changed with them. The behaviour. The interactions. The intensity. It's a constant throughout the years. It's not about them changing or the nature of their relationship changing. It's about if they are visible to us, if we are 'allowed' to see it. Whenever they show up together they are the same. And this is something I have on repeat on my blog: not seeing them means absolutely NOTHING. Not seeing them most definitely does not mean they are not together.

So, following that intro, I will try to put into words why it is, based on the content they give us, that I was so sure and still am that JM and JK are a couple in a loving healthy long term relationship and not just best friends.

I guess that there is no better way than to start with the basics.

A healthy loving long term relationship is based on being first and utmost each other's best friend. Knowing each other thru and thru, at their best and at their worst, and still loving them.

Yes, best friends love one another. As friends. On a platonic level. And being a couple usually, mostly, has the added sexual attraction and relations added to that base (usually and mostly because there are always exceptions). But the sexual aspect of being a couple isn't the only thing that separates best friends from loving partners. It might be the initial addition of said attraction (that btw is way stronger and long lasting when the relationship is built on friendship first), but from that, many times, stems a level of intimacy that surpasses any kind of friendship, as close as it may be. The level of intimacy of course, the level of trust, the level of need (for the other, to be with them, to touch them, to hold them, to feel their affection physically and emotionally, to get their input, to comfort them, to just BE with them) is just BEYOND.

So, of course there will be best friend energies recognizable in a couple's interactions. But it will be on a different level. It will include other recognizable couple behaviours.

The level of intimacy will be higher. The behaviour will be flirtatious, at times with sexual innuendos (yes, JM talking about JK's "precious" is part of that, JK worried that JM is once again mentioning his "member" is another). It's the flirting about having to discipline JK. The tone, the behaviour while saying it. Talk about innuendos. Not even going down the eating ramen mentioning discussion, even more so with us knowing the others were out at the time (or maybe I am seeing that I put it down on paper, figuratively that is).

😏

And when you see all of these you cannot disconnect them from previous moments, things they have done and said in the past. So obvious and loud. This here is only a continuation of those actions, those words.

Before I continue I wanted to add something that just came up in a discussion I had with a very close friend of mine. Why it is that it seems so many Jikookers have suddenly backflipped on this. That they are back to "maybe they are just best friends", and she said something so profoundly true. That maybe people have become desensitised. With their loud moments over the years and AYS, that somehow seeing them together being themselves without the grand gestures or loud moments is just another Monday. No wows or gasps. Them being them, as couplie as their behaviour might be, is just something we got used to. So much so, that many stopped recognizing just how couplie that behaviour is. To that I will add that the level of expectation of them, the need of some Jikookers for them to 'prove' to us they are a couple is also a thing. All while forgetting, again, that they are still a closeted queer couple and there are things that we just cannot expect of them as such. Definitely not on a regular basis (that in itself is actually something that really frustrates me, as they do not owe us a thing, and somewhat demanding this of them is beyond entitled). They still have to live within the realm of deniability. And I do think that their hard work from 2019 thru to 2021 in stretching those boundaries has done it's job. Because if a fandom can see a dude sucking his 'bro's' ear or proudly strutting around with a hickey his 'bro' left on him and still call them "friends" or "brothers", then whatever they did in their live a couple of days ago, including talking about the other's member, will fly right under the radar as "bros being bros". Apparently, including for some Jikookers.

Ok, point made, I will go back to what makes them more than just best friends. Let's get back on track.

The touches. Friends touch. They hug, they hang over each other. We saw that with Tae yesterday in the live. But seeing that, you could also recognize the clear difference. And it's not about it being a different level of friendship. It's, once again, about the level of intimacy and need to touch the other. It's JM's little touches on JK's nape, his playing with JK's hoops (which I am still thinking were his gift to JK for Silver day). It's JK's constant touching JM, groping JM basically. His chest, his necklace (at least twice - again, his Silver day gift to JM?), his hand, under his shirt.

It's the way they react to each other's touches. Not always visible, but definitely on occasion it's clear as day that this isn't a friendly reaction to the other's touch (re: JK's visible problem first day of BV4 at the lodge while playing footsies with JM). At times leaning into it. At times trying to avoid it, not because they don't want that touch (because they themselves initiate it with the other), but because in the moment they need to be guarded, perhaps worried of the effect it might have on them, or on how it might be perceived by others.

And the hug. Of course friends hug. But there are hugs and there are hugs. And we know JM gives the best hugs. JK told us that himself. But just like all the other things I mentioned, this hug is different than that hug with your best friend, as big and encompassing that it might be. JK's expression. The closing of the eyes. Contentment. Peace. Safety.

A reminder of this moment too.

JM is JK's safe place. Always has been always will be. On the highest level possible. The one person that knows him thru and thru and that he trusts and can rely on fully in his highs and his lows.

It's also the knowing what the other is feeling, what they want, what they want to tell you without the other having to even say one word. It's an expression, an eyebrow lift, a look, a twist of the mouth, a gesture, and sometimes not even any of those. Just knowing the other on such a deep level that you know what they are thinking and feeling in that situation!!!

Knowing someone on that deep of a level is so much more than just being a friend. This is what a couple in a loving long term relationship looks like.

The way they look at each other. Again, this is beyond how even the best of friends look at each other. I guess my word of the day is "beyond", because basically that's what it's all about. Beyond and more. It's the need to see everything the other does, clock it in, every funny expression they make, even if they aren't in your line of view, making that effort to see them anyway. It's love, it's adoration, it's admiration, it's lust, it's all of the above compiled into one.

This next point is not really about their behaviour during the live, but more about choices we've seen them make over the years and clearly over the past couple of years, and that's the choice they make to spend their spare time with that one person over any other, when possible. Even after working through the days together. Even when on leave after being together on base the whole time and spending their spare time there together. Even after they are discharged. Even when they are now back working as ot7 in LA and could clearly be spending time with the others.

Seeking out each other, including when sleeping, and documenting every single thing they do, cute, funny, weird, awake or sleeping... Can you even imagine how many Terabytes of JM pics and videos JK has stored away on a cloud or memory drive? Same to be said about JM, btw. You don't do that with a friend. Not on that level. And that's my point exactly.

This is a relationship built on deep friendship, trust, mutual support, affection on levels beyond anything you can call friendship. Their reliance emotionally on each other, each being the other's "person" who they will turn to for support when they are down and in need. Again, this is beyond being a good friend. A best friend.

And do I have to remind you of Like crazy and Letter?????

You have to be blind and in denial not to get that JM is referencing JK in both of those songs!!! That is not friendship he's talking about there.

What about the dates and numbers? What about the matching outfits? What about the wearing each other's clothes? Including JM wearing JK's sweaty sweatshirt to bed. Yeah, not something even a best friend would do. What about going to sleep with the other's piece of clothing in bed with you (either because they can't be or because they spent the night with you and left it behind).

And did we forget about the "I promised to go to the moon with JK"? The ear sucking, hickey making, crotch footsie events? The sexy couple dancing boner moment? The ass grabbing and squeezing, the chest pinching, too? The congratulatory couple gift sending? Not to mention JM talking about JK's "precious" member, his jewels. I guess if anyone knows it's in good working shape that would be JM.

This is where I want to mention another point, and that's for us non Korean Jikookers. There is so much we don't see or don't understand while watching these interactions, even when they are translated. The choice of songs they will sing in a certain situation;

The wording they will use, like the whole "precious" innuendo we were clueless about;

It's the way they talk to each other, something only Koreans will catch onto. The usage of formal and informal; The flirtatious tones of it all. These are things that we as outsiders can't initially catch onto. We can see the obvious. The looks, the touches, the facial expressions, and some of the translated interactions, but there is so much more to it that we initially can't see. Things that are uncovered as days go by. As translations come out. As cultural explanations are posted.

It's about those little inside jokes that the Korean side of the fandom might just understand (or not if they are inside inside jokes, and they do have many of those too).

And the last couple of points I wanted to make:

First is they themselves not putting a title to what they are. For years not framing it for us. With Vmin there was zero problem calling them soulmates. Jihope best friends. And Jikook nothing. Even though it's been clear to those who see them that at the very least since 2016 the two have been literally attached at the hip. But not once have they addressed it, nor have the other members - not by name. Why? Because they can't. Because they aren't just best friends. They aren't just soulmates. They are more. A more that can't be named.

What about the other members? The way they too do not address it. Once in a while we hear from them about the two being off together. Where is JM? He's with JK, and vise versa. We get a snide remark about them looking like or acting like they are a couple or dating. The way they constantly and clearly consider the two as a unit (not working unit). It's always about JM and JK as if they are one. They will talk about the one and automatically mention the other in the same context. Where they talk about the one the other is to follow. It's how they get mixed up between the two, even visually. It's about their reactions to the two and their interactions. It's NJ's frowns and making sure he's there to stop them from going too far, even running across the stage to stand as a wall between them. It's Hobi's ear to ear smile when they are on with their shenanigans. It's Jin's small and short endeared grin when they get up to their shit.

This isn't about the others seeing 2 good friends misbehaving. It's about the others seeing this beautiful love as it grew from a mutual crush into a blooming strong long lasting once in a lifetime love. And their need to protect them, many times from themselves, lol. Just ask NJ.

I'm 100% sure I've forgotten something. Just me being me. But if you are up to it my masterlist is filled with posts explaining why I believe they are a couple and not just friends.

Oh wait, one more little thing. If all they are is friends why didn't they tell us back in JK's 2020 birthday live that they were together when the #1 billboard landed? Why was it ok for Tae to say he wanted JM to come over without it being clarified that JM was with JK, on his birthday eve? If they are just friends. And why was it such a big deal for JM to tell us in the interview the next day that he was with JK? And JK's huge ass smile as he is revealing that piece of information? If they are just friends!! And if they are just best friends, something that is clearly long lasting and not something that started the minute they enlisted together. Something that made them supposedly decide to enlist together, how is it, as clearly the 2 closest members of BTS, we saw close to nothing of them together in public or in BTS content during chapter 2, while they were on their break or during their solo activities? Why was that content of just the 2 of them cut to almost zero? Why weren't we allowed to see them together? Not even in a campaign to promote Busan???? The two Busan princes!! If it was only a couple of good friends why was there such an obvious attempt to distance them (not in real life but in the public eye). While on break in 2022, the two best friends were the only ones that didn't interact, even once on their public SM. Not once. They weren't seen in public in events. They didn't show up to each other's promotions. The one time JK was seen at JM's rehearsals we don't see him arriving and we get approx. 60 seconds of interaction. They were distanced so much that even Jikookers fell for the anti campaign against JK in Sep. 2023 and were full on surprised to find out the joint enlistment. But I stress this again, this was just in the public eye, all while they continued to stay as close as ever (trying to adapt to the solo era and their different super intensive separate schedules).

And when you take ALL of those components, look at them as pieces of a puzzle that just fit together so perfectly only to reveal the full picture. It's never been about a moment, a touch, a comment. It's about the entirety of it all. Years and years of consistent behaviour. What they say, what they do, and the reactions of those that surround them. That big picture is loud and clear.

They are a loving couple in a beautifully healthy long term relationship.

So, best friends? Most definitley.

But only best friends? No.

So much MORE!!!

[shsl-simp]

tetro pink normal album artworks postmortem

under the cut will be a full post explaining (almost) all of the choices i made in the process of making my tetro normal album art series now that ive finished it, as well as things i dislike about the finished products and what i might change. enjoy!

tw // major tetro pink spoilers, blood, gore, nooses, suicide, sh

1 -- suburbia / chiba

this is one of my least favorites, but it makes sense as this was my first one PLUS i drew it while actively having an anxiety attack/mental breakdown while trying to hide it because i was on vc 😭

on the positive side, i really enjoy my color choices on chiba! her hair looks WONDERFUL, the background not so much ... !! idk what id change really.

suburbia chiba was one of the first ones i decided for this project. it fit her SO well, from the happy town turned bloodbath to the "blonde, blue-eyed baby" line. my initial plan for this piece was to have chiba walking/skipping down a classic suburban street covered in blood and guts, but i couldnt get it to look right, so we got this. i ended up making a magazine just for sillies :P

the quote i chose for this piece was "It takes a village to fake a whole culture. Your ear to the playground, your eye on the ball. Your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall." i chose this because the eye on the ball/brains on the wall line encapsulates the feeling of the song i wanted this piece to represent, as well as the first part of the quote which i really wanted to include.

2 -- 222 isono

choosing a character for 222 was surprisingly hard??? i fully believe that okazaki fits this song better but ... laplace's angel .............. isono was the cloest.

besides that there's just something about this piece that feels wrong. might be the color pallet or the way i rendered the hair. it just feels ..... off. i dont like it.

there are many references in the posters !!! the first one is meant to imply the shape of noose, the next one is chiba's piece, the 3rd is an inside joke between my friends (mizucest ..), and the last one is a sticker in the server i drew this on vc with! i really dont have much else to say about this piece. not the worst but definitely not the best.

the quote i chose here was "Now to row, row, row my boat over the falls. and maybe wake up from but a dream." i felt this was the lyric from the song that best fit isono, so i chose it.

3 -- laplace okazaki

i dont think i need to explain why i chose okazaki for this one. just look at the lyrics.

the dotted line across her neck represents kamimua, and the red string tied around her waist represents tsuno. i may have chose red string bc of the red string of fate and okazakis odd homoerotic villain yearning for tsuno ..... maybe ............

this one im not as happy with just because i didnt really include the song at all. it was just .... okazaki. if i were to redo it i'd definitely add a much more apparent reference to laplace's angel. overall, not bad, but couldve been better.

i was initially going to choose "it doesnt take a killer to murder, it only takes a reason to kill," for this, but i decided to go for something i bit more fun, "If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you."

4 - i/me/myself wada

oughhh wada :(

this was really the point where i think this series took off and got GOOD. experimenting with collage elements here really helped make this one stand out.

the reason i chose wada is pretty obvious - tfem wada :( poor girl never got her awakening ..... sigh

this was one of the fastest ones to make, but all of them only took about an hour each. this one was very unrendered, but i still like how it looks. i love this one, no notes!

"I wish I could be a girl, and really, I'd prefer it if you would use I/Me/Myself," the classic line of the final chorus. not really any hidden meanings or anything.

5 - better than the alternative watari

this one was straight fire, no pun intended. the hands are meant to represent her siblings, clinging onto her for dear life. the hand on her head is meant to represent her mother. the candle shes protecting represents her livelihood :3 i love this piece a lot. no notes!

the quote i chose was "She’s gonna be a lot like me, but I don’t wanna be at all like me," the context of this lyric in the song is the speaker character talking about their daughter, but in this context i thought of it more as watari and one of her younger siblings. sigh ily watari

6 - oultliars ken

this one. this one. i have so much to say.

first of all, i had some deliberation between ken outliars and ken laplace but im REALLY glad i ended up doing outliars bc i love this piece. as soon as the idea of a worm borrowed into his eye came to me i was obsessed.

the worm is blue to represent how kamimura would never leave his mind, even after he died. i remembered seeing an excerpt from the odyssey while searching for stuff for wada's piece, so i dug it out and used it here. i really love this one. it might be my favorite. this one is so fun ......

7 - blackbox warrior hiroaki

okay this one is my least favorite so im not gonna talk about it much. i genuinely hate this one so much its not even funny

the idea was good but i .... just didnt execte it well. sorry. the ivs tying into a noose was cool tho

i chose the quote "You've lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you'll be fine," in reference to hiroakis suicide attempt in canon.

8 -

this one is my actual favorite, right next to ken's. i don't really have much to say, just ... ough. kamimur.

the "bled out in the bath" line of the song really caught my eye, and it gave me the inspo for this piece! i really relate to kamimura in a lot of ways, so this one was kinda personal for me. i think it turned out really well!! i dont really have much else to say lol

9 - love me normally ojima

this ones a bit boring, but i still enjoy it! i was intending to do something a lot more ... colorful. but i think this still conveys the message i wanted.

fuck ..... ojima ........ again, i relate to him a LOT so this one was kinda personal as well, just less than kamimuras. i wish i had a bit more obvious inspo from the song, but thats about it. love you (normally) ojima <3

10 - memento mori hayashi

i had a REALLY hard time with this one, and if im being honest i still dont like the composition or pose. bleh. i dont even want to look at it 😭

the perspective is entirely wrong, and it .. sorta tells the story i wanted? i really needed to show the horror in her expression tho ... i think that was the main problem.

the book page is from the raven by edgar allen poe, and if im being honest i just searched for morbid book pages on pinterest 😭🙏

aaaand thank you! this is the end :) i really wanna do something like this again, maybe with tdrb. this was incredibly fun even if i dont like how most of the paintings came out. after all, for every masterpiece that artist has 100 fucking horrific artworks <3

edit: forgot to do my ranking lmaoooo

kamimura

hasegawa

wada

chiba

ojima

watari

hayashi

isono

okazaki

hiroaki

[spamtonandtennastvtime]

Fresh from the Juice, turn up the Juice!

Make sure you don't get it on your shoese!

Spamton, my marvelous mailman and partner, has informed me that he can now deliver fan mail here for the both of us from my adoring fans!

v (Important OOC stuff down here) v

OOC : Welcome to an ask blog featuring Spamton and Tenna from Deltarune! This blog takes place before the events of Deltarune, when Kris and Noelle were children, Asriel was still in town, Dess hadn't gone missing yet, and Spamton and Tenna were together. All of Tenna's dialogue outside of images will be in this color, while all of Spamton's dialogue will be in this color. If they're ever both speaking at the same time, the colors will alternate like this. All asks are fan mail from Darkners. You can also send objects in the mail if you would like.

This is my first time doing an ask blog, so don't expect anything to be perfect.

Most posts will have pictures with them.

I will respond to asks as regularly as I can, but I can get burnt out so I will not guarantee that I'll be posting very regularly.

I won't answer any sort of nsfw asks.

I'll probably do a few comics on here between asks since I'd like to have somewhat of a story going on.

The designs of these two may change over time the more I draw them. I'm just still trying to figure out how I'd like to draw these guys, especially Spamton.

Spoilers for all of Deltarune, especially chapters 2 and 3.

My main account is CeruleanGhostt, I just post random art and crochet stuff there.

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Thinking. About Kris and Susie again. I am dreading the day when Susie realises that the Kris she knew is not really them. You know how in the dark crystal it shows how Susie is looking at them coldly. I’m thinking that’s probably in like. The weird route. I don’t think Susie would forgive an act as heinous at that. Y’know.

Actually wait I’ve watched like. A Dorked video recently. That gives a very interesting perspective on the direction the story may be going. Like how despite the ending being absolute, there is also a way where we can write in between the lines to create something new. Like how Kris somehow finding a way to say what they really want to say through choosing how they’re gonna say it despite their literal lack of control.

I know that I wrote a post where the weird route may be the “true” route. But like. Let’s reconsider. Cause the person who told us how the video game thingy is the “true” route is RAMB. Not exactly the most reliable guy when it comes to it. Both Jevil and Spamton are characters that were heavily affected by the shadow crystal in their pursuit of “freedom”. One saw the world he lived in as a game, where he is the only one who is truly free from it all, while the other desperately tried to avoid being trapped by becoming stronger. But at the end of the day, they both are still completely trapped within a prison and went insane. The shadow crystal shows a future that would happen if we had decided to use violence, or whatever means to avoid that fate. It’s like, the more you try to avoid it, the more it’s gonna come true. Y’know. And the only guy that has the shadow crystal, but at the same time wasn’t affected by it at all was Gerson, who didn’t even use it. Hell, he somehow find a way to remain in the dark world Susie made when he wasn’t even able to be there. He saw between the lines and created something new out of it.

So perhaps, the weird route may not be the “true” route, the shadow crystals does show a future to be seen, but it shows a future where we, the Angel, had decided to become more powerful by manipulating Noelle in a pursuit of trying to change the story in any way. A future where Susie would hate Kris, a future where Kris would lose their arm, a future that might be more grim than it already was. Of course, the Angel (aka us), much like Kris, had no control over who we should be controlling. Why do we want to pick different choices the next time we play the game again? To see what other ending we can find. To control fate. Deltarune is opposite to Undertale in terms of their ideals regarding fate as a whole.

Now, let’s talk about Undertale. Regarding the legend of the Deltarune.

In Undertale, the Deltarune is a symbol that represents that Angel that will fall from the surface and free all of monster kind. In both extremes of the game, Pacifist and Genocide, we, the Angel, had fallen from the surface and freed all of monster kind. One through mercy and kindness, while the other through senseless murder. To me, this seems to be a clear parallel to Deltarune, where fate cannot be changed in any way. Cause, it’s interesting right? Through absolute kindness and through absolute violence, the endings still technically remain the same. The legend about the Deltarune in Undertale still came true regardless. However, the Genocide route is a much darker ending to the Pacifist route. The reason why many people had decided to do the Genocide route in the first place is because of their own curiosity. They want to see what happens if they kill everyone. Not because they hate the characters, but because they love the game so much that they just have to know what happens if they made a different choice. That’s the perverted sentimentality Chara was referring to.

Now let’s talk about Deltarune again now that the connection is clear.

For Deltarune, the reason people would make a different, weirder choice would be different from Undertale. From the beginning, it was already stated that our choices don’t matter. That we lack control over the general narrative. Most people who are playing Deltarune should have already played Undertale before this game’s release, so usually their first instinct is to play nice. To spare and recruit everyone, just like in Undertale. Probably in hopes that they’ll be able to get a happy ending by doing so. And then after that, they created another save slot where they hurt everyone, just to see what is different. But then, alas, the game barely changes. The two save slots, save for the minor differences, are identical to each other. Nothing had changed. Susie still got her character development. Ralsei still learned that being nice all the time isn’t always the best course of action. Life goes on. Which is why the discovery of Snowgrave was so intriguing to everyone when chapter 2 had released. It’s something new. Something major had changed. We got our control back through Noelle. And despite everything the story still continues on like the other save slot. But something major had changed, no? So let’s keep doing it to see what would happen next! Even though it feels awful to manipulate Noelle and make her do those things, it’s still something new! It gets easier the more I push it.

The legend had stated that the three heroes will banish the Angel’s heaven. And whatever the prophecy had said in chapter 4, something that both Susie and Ralsei now know about. Now, we know that no matter what we do, whether we decided to be a jerk to everyone or be nice to them, the story goes on the same way, with very minor differences. However, we’ve now seen how we were able to write between the lines despite what was already written in the prophecy, with the main difference being the fate of Tenna. In the prophecy, Tenna was stated that he will be slashed in red. However, it didn’t state that he will die. All it had said was that he will be slashed. In many variants, he ended up living through it, giving him a bittersweet ending where he continues to live on. And in those endings where Tenna lives through it are those where we didn’t attempt the weird route.

The normal routes (kind hero/jerk hero) parallels the Pacifist/Neutral routes in Undertale, while the weird route parallels the Genocide route. Both Weird route and Genocide route are those paths that only exists when the player had decided to go out of their way to pursue it. Ralsei stated that, despite knowing about the prophecy and knowing how awful the ending would be, he still wanted us to be nice, encouraging us to take the kind, non-violent option, despite not knowing if it’s going to change anything. I think he may be onto something here.

In conclusion, it may be true that the ending will remain the same. However, through writing in between the lines, something positive might come out of it as well. Although fate cannot be changed, your compassion and your ability to write between the lines matters. Undertale and Deltarune, one where you have complete control, while the other you have little to no control over fate. But ultimately both of their cores are kind.

[quirkwizard]

I have been thinking a lot as of late. About this blog and what I have been doing with it. Over time, it's feels like there has been a waning interest. Both from me and from the greater fanbase. It feels like there has been a lower amount of interest in what I have been writing. This is something I noticed reflected in the notes. I know that may come across as shallow. I've never had any deep investment about the amount of notes or followers I've had. To me though, it is a metric of how much people like something I make. And I've noticed a rather steady decline over the past couple of years. Now, that could simply be the fandom winding down now that the series finishing up or other things come out. Which is fair. However, it feels like it's indicative of a lack of interest from my followers in what I am writing.

However, there is another factor in this. Look, I never like to get into my personal life. However, I think it is important for the context of my mindset. Over the last three years, my mental, emotional, and physical health has been been getting worse. I won't go into why this is. All you need to know is that it's been getting a lot harder for me to write, even with simple stuff. My drive, my creativity, and even my memory. It's all been hurting and it doesn't feel like I'm getting any better. And I'm sure that has been reflected in the quality of my posts. For that, I am sorry. Needless to say, this has made creating and responding to stuff people send into me a lot more difficult. I feel like I can't create the content I want and the quality I want it to be. What you guys deserve it to be. And maybe this is all in my head, making me think things are worse then what they are, but it has been effecting me. It's between these two factors that have been changing how I see the blog. That mixed with the ending of the series has made me think about the future of the blog. That there has to be something that changes how I write for it. And that could involve me stopping the blog all together. I know that may seem brash. I've been posting pretty consistently for years now and there are times where I do get excited about writing for it again. Yet with the series being over and interesting waning, it could very well be time to be over. I figured I'd write this to explain my thoughts and feelings right now. And that, in the event I do stop, I would at least explain why that is. I do wish I can figure out what to do with myself and the blog sooner rather then later. I'm sorry again to surprise you all with this. And I'm sorry if this comes across as complaining about any of this. That is the last thing I want this to be. I just want some transparency about what I am thinking and feeling.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

I pray for a 3X Reboot character description for each character, atleast the main ones!! I fee like that the second reboot version before stanley got isekaid would have those cool villain costumes that r dull in colours but then wabam stanley isekaid and he immediately switches out his costume to a new silly costume, I'm currently imagining Stanley while doing his evil deeds in a purple costume with a bright neon orange that has a purple mystery symbol slapped on it or red cape paired with one of those sharp looking hats with a feather and a one of those opera looking mask to match it to be similar to old version of the show since those old show character designs were definitely neon and low quality

Oohph. Making me think about this fic that was thrust upon me again huh. I'm onto you.

Stan has an amazing design here by @marutianistic and Emma-May also has a design here! (i literally got a notification for it as i was typing this! I'm amazed!) Those are definitely their post reboot designs, they're simply too cool. Pre reboot Mr. Mystery wore an outfit similar to the Riddler but with the yellow and red question marks like younger Stan wore with the mystery shack in duller colors, while Emma-May just had civilian clothes.

They're very cool! I'm a little hesitant to describe the rest in case they have other designs in store, but I'll give it a go!

Ford: Hmm. I'm thinking he's a mix between super hero and detective, so he looks similar to canon, with his coat being more detective coat styled pre reboot, with some kind of face covering to hide his identity, like cool googles and a face mask with his poofy hair sticking out the top (he doesn't strike me as a hat guy). As it got grittier it was swapped out with dull colors and blacks, then in the reboot Ford keeps the (blood stained, like his gritty past) red costume with the lighter detective coat/cape over top, sort of a mix between og costume and gritty outfit that still loops around to being goofy. All kinds of gadgets strapped to him

Fiddleford: Didn't have a costume originally, just goofy goggles and oversized lab coat, then when he reaches his villain arc in the reboot and goes full engineer esq villain outfit. I'm thinking full welding mask with ominous glowing glass, giant leather/mechanical gloves, leather apron, tool belt, mecha boots, and a jet pack. For style. It takes Ford way too long to realize this is Fiddleford, because og mad science Fiddleford's costume was just him in a giant robot with 0 cool costume (another reason the og show sucked).

Soos I'm thinking was originally in a little black suit with white question marks that matched Mr. Mystery's suit, then in the reboot he's got a matching outfit with Mr. Mystery still, but in green, brown, and gold with a question mark tassel and little domino mask.

Hmm. I can't find the post where i put Carla and Dan's roles and henchnames, but neither of them appeared in the original script, so didn't have outfits.

Carla I'm thinking wears pink white and red, with pink being her main color. Hmm. She's got pink spandex, white boots and gloves, red highlights, a little device on her wrist to keep track of everyone's schedule. She's in charge of timing and coordinating things so everything goes smoothly. Uses a lost of smoke bombs to get out of dodge, as none of the crew are particularly violent (since they do crime for the goofs).

Dan i'm thinking got full checkered top with ripped off sleeves in grey and red, a full helmet with, big gloves, fancy tool belt, and grey pants.

Bill is the same triangle guy, he has a different hat though. Full bowler.

Thats what i have for now, but it could change! Also feel free to create whatever you want with it! I'm very loose about it, follow your heart

[doctorroseficmarathon]

Sorry to go radio silent, but this is my first fic marathon as a COLLEGE GRADUATE!! Which means we can move the fic marathon back to September!

The Fic Marathon has returned to its original dates of September 1st through 30th which is why I am posting these so late into July. And now has been shortened back to 30 prompts. Before we get started I (@bigbad-tardis) wanted to reintroduce the fic marathon to anyone new to the event or to the fandom.

While the DoctorRose Fic Marathon may seem like a daunting task, that is not its purpose. While there are 30 prompts provided for the event, they are not necessary to follow and you don’t have to write for all 30 days. The point of the fic marathon is just to get people excited to write fics for the Doctor and Rose! In this way I aspire for the event to be beginner friendly! Write whatever you want! It can be any pairing of the Doctor and Rose, not limited to Doctors we saw Rose with on screen! There is also no limit to rating. Just label appropriately.

While the event is hosted on AO3, if you chose to write on fanfic.net or tumblr only this blog will still reblog your posts! The point is write! write! write!

Now onto the rules!

1. If you’re going to connect the stories, connect them via series instead of a single fic.

2. There is no set length or rating. Write however long or short you want your fic to be. All you can write is plenty.

3. Tag your fics with DoctorRose Fic Marathon! I’m done with trying to separate them by years. It’s easier this way.

4. Make sure to have fun!

Now onto the best part, the prompts!

The 2025 Prompts!

1. Dedication

One thing the Doctor and Rose show to each other is dedication, if not for their dedication, Rose wouldn’t have made it back.

2. Unconventional Reunion

We have the typical reunion, dimension hopping, TARDIS fixing, and the like, this prompt challenges the writer to be a little different in their approach. How is up to you.

3. On the Run

We see the Doctor and Rose run quite a bit, but we never see them on the run for a longer period of time than a night. What would happen if they did?

4. Confrontation

The Doctor and Rose always talk about their feelings, whether it be romantic or their genuine emotional states. What if that came to a head? Or the Doctor or Rose have to confront someone else? Lots to pull from.

5. Soulmates

This could be a good old fashioned soulmate au or anything in between. Some even say we make our own soulmates.

6. “You burn like the Sun”

You can explore the quote from Tooth and Claw or use it to your own ends.

7. Fake Dating

You know it, you love it (or hate it), let’s see the Doctor and Rose deal with their very real feelings while being in a very fake relationship.

8. Dreams

Explore the Doctor and Rose’s dreams whether they share them or not, and how that changes their relationship.

9. Caught in a Storm

What if the Doctor and Rose were forced to hunker down in a different location due to unforeseen weather conditions. Or stuck in the TARDIS because of an ion storm.

10. One Bed

THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!

11. Classic

This could be a Classic Who reference, or it could be a reference to classic beauty, but Doctor and Rose will always be classic.

12. Bad Wolf as Disability

What if Bad Wolf left more of an impact on Rose than we saw or thought.

13. Episode Fix-It

Pick an episode you thought did the Doctor and Rose wrong and fix it! Whether that be Journey’s End, Girl in the Fireplace, Doomsday, or an episode of your choice.

14. Supernatural

Vampires, werewolves, mermaids, and fairies we love supernatural creatures here. And I think the Doctor and Rose should’ve ran into more than just the werewolf.

15. Memory

The Doctor and Rose’s memories are important to the facets of who they are, and with the Doctor’s long life they’ve been haunted for quite a while.

16. Guests of Honor

Whether that be a dinner, a banquet, or a ball, what if the Doctor and Rose were the guests of honor at an event?

17. The Stuff of Legend

The Tenth Doctor himself called them the stuff of legend, how did they become this way? How does that change the future and their legacies.

18. The Sword in the Stone

Excalibur was explored once in the Classic serial battlefield, but what if it happened again? Whether in a future planet or Arthurian nerds, a Merlin crossover, or actually going back in time and meeting King Arthur. The opportunities are endless.

19. Multiple Doctors

The CLASSIC TROPE of multiple Doctors in one fic, one of theeee tropes of all time, I have to include it nearly every time.

20. Canon Divergence

What if the plot diverged at certain point.

21. University

Whether the Doctor is a professor, Rose is a student, they meet in the same year, just set the fic in university or at a university.

22. Coffee Shop

This could be an AU, or the Doctor and Rose even just trying to order a drink in between alien invasions. Or a barista watching the Doctor and Rose fall in love through coffee.

23. Literature AU

I try to make most of the prompts canon adjacent, but this one is really meant to be an AU, pick between a piece of literature you like and put the Doctor and Rose in that situation.

24. Celebration

What if the Doctor and Rose were at a party? Or had something new to celebrate. This one is more simple but a bit more lowkey than Guests of Honor

25. Dimension Hopping

Just because traditional reunion fic isn’t on the prompts, doesn’t mean we can’t explore dimension hopping Rose and even what would happen if the Doctor saw her?

26. Messages

Texting, writing in chalk, emails, telepathy, explore the ways the Doctor and Rose communicate with each other.

27. Declaration(s) of Love

One of my favorite tropes and is it back again. We never got to see them say I love you properly.

28. “I would do anything for you”

Who would say this, and why?

29. Alien Cultural Differences

They meet a lot of aliens in their travels, but the Doctor is also an alien, explore the differences between Rose and the people she meets and knows and how that changes her and the Doctor’s relationship.

30. Devotion

This ties back to our first prompt, the Doctor and Rose show utter devotion to each other. We see it over and over again, show us.

And that’s our prompts for 2025! See you soon

P.S. a bonus prompt for whoever wants to write it and misses the 31 days

- Rescue

And follow docrosefic if you’re still on Twitter to get updates there!

[azurejacques]

My favorite and also least favorite part about being a linguist is trying to figure out what the linguistic landscape of a fantasy world is. Not only that, but really good authors can use language to tell the reader things and convey themes. Take the Locked Tomb universe; we learn basically nothing until Nona the Ninth, where we learn that the Houses speak seemingly one single language, simply referred to as "House." We learn that House is also spoken as a lingua franca on Houses-occupied planets, that is, as a language of trade and communication so that people of all different backgrounds may communicate (the role that English plays today in real life), and that there are dialects or at least accented versions spoken in local communities. When the broadcast from the Empire occurs, Ianthe Naberius mentions that it will be translated into the, if I recall correctly, ~15 local languages. This really paints a stark contrast between the Nine Houses and the non-aligned/Blood of Eden-controlled planets/human settlements— the houses all seemingly speak the same language, they may have each developed their own cultures to a degree, but John specifically made everyone as uniform as possible after the Resurrection; cf. Wake's claims of cultural and linguistic genocide. Meanwhile, in human settlements outside of the Houses proper, different varieties continue to flourish and cultures remain distinct and alive. One thing that has bugged me as unrealistic about this is that naturally, over 10,000 years, language is going to change, and I mean drastically change. Even if you created the Houses with one, uniform culture and language, they're going to splinter no matter how centralized you make them, especially if one house decides to go all isolationist (cough cough the ninth house cough cough). But, to be fair, Tamsyn's characters never mention accents of their own within the Houses, nor do they mention a lack of them I believe, so it's possible that variation does exist and it's simply not mentioned. A more fun idea, though less realistic perhaps (of course the most realistic thing is just that this isn't something the author considered too deeply as I do not believe she is a linguist lmao), is that the static nature of language in the Houses is a parallel to the static nature of death and necromancy, death has lost much of its meaning, so why not preserve the form of a language too in an unnatural and death-defying way? It would be yet another aspect of the Nine Houses that John could control, and we know he's got a thing about control.

Anyways I started this post to do a little rant on how I always am trying to decide what accent to give characters in my head, and it turned into this, so... there's gonna be a part two where I talk about Red Rising probably! Anyhow Gideon speaks with an American accent in my head 100% I refuse to change that, Not Sorry. Also god it was difficult but I've managed to get fairly good at doing a NZ accent in my head for John. My deepest fear is that House is really just NZ English and that everyone speaks like a Kiwi and I'd die trying to read every single character like that in my head lmfao. Sorry to the great nation of Aotearoa New Zealand, I just have not consumed enough of your media to make it easy to replicate in my head. Another aspect to think on that I am promising myself right now I won't go into it too much, but it'd be really interesting to go into how John's Māori identity interacts with his identity overall; he clearly speaks at least some Te Reo, yet it seems clear that he was willing to forsake his identity and language when creating his new (fascist) utopia after the Resurrection. But that's not something I really feel I can speak on lmao, so I won't!

[lordkingsmith]

Ollie's gaze on Jack never wavered. "Mostly everyone here was evil because of mind control." Ollie said steadily. "But even when Zedd's hold on me broke the second time I stayed. Just to try to help from the inside." Jack's eyes met his from across the small room. "Like I said, Jack. We're not that different."

Jack snorted. "Ollie it's not the same thing-"

"Don't patronize me." Ollie cut him off curtly. "Not you. And what's the difference. She's your mother? You were in this situation for years not weeks? Tell me."

Cygnus folded his arms beside Billy as they exchanged knowing glances. Despite Billy's problems with the man, he at least knew the signs with Ollie and Jack's angst fest. "Twenty dollars and a gear Jack's about to bring up the reality problem." Cygnus said quietly. Billy eyed them.

"He'll bring up Ollie's friends before that." He said thoughtfully. The two looked over at the older men and Cygnus pressed a button on one of the half completed machines on the table like they weren't fully invested in the argument.

"We can hear you" Jack said sourly. "Stop betting on the things I'm going to say, if you please!"

@augment-techs in the Coinless fic drabbles Ollie and Jack are trying to sort out the politics and angst of that…and in dance dance they’re arguing about being together in Cygnus’ workshop lol

[deus-ex-mona]

god forbid a woman has hobbies

[mad-hunts]

alright, i have come here to discuss something tonight and that topic is: barton still killing every single police officer that bothers him at the docks (except for jim, but i swear that's just for plot purposes. okay... nah 🫠 it's not lmao BUT moving on) and hating law enforcement in general + vigilantes, BUT with the new added context that he has a partner who he found out is a vigilante? well... i'm just here to say that it makes me think that doing mental gymnastics is just a daily practice for barton at this point LOL

but that's okay, because his vigilante partner is genuinely slay in his eyes + worth it. and thus, anyone who dares try to call him a hypocrite for being with her will be smacked halfway to tuesday so ❤️ (the heart essentially means don't do it JSJSJ ☠️ not to say that i would expect that anyone here would do it OFC though y'all know what i mean (,,: and oh, the mun who portrays the vigilante character that i'm talking about knows who they are tehe MUAH ilyyy)

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

What world do I live in that the entire n1njago fandom has decided that two people of the opposite gender who found each other in the world's turmoil and lived together in a home of their own making as best friends for years are found family and therefore sibling coded

They are main characters how aren't there a bunch of dudebros going to bat for it just because it's straight or whatever

[catcrumb]

after 5 years of running this blog, i've made the decision to open up a patreon!

my life circumstances are changing, and patreon will greatly help me make ends meet and pay rent. nothing about this blog will be changing - i'll still be posting a cat doodle every day, same as i always have.

i have a $3/month tier and a $6/month tier - both work as tip jars, with the latter being if you feel especially generous and can afford it.

right now i have transparent and/or higher-resolution PNGs of certain catcrumbs that i've used for redbubble up for members, if anyone wants to make emojis or such. i'll also be taking requests for drawings to be transparentized and/or put on redbubble. in the future i may start offering additional rewards - bonus art, requests, maybe physical stuff - but my life needs to settle down a bit before i do anything like that.

your money is of course yours to do with as you see fit (and there are many many good causes out there that i urge you to donate to), but i hope that if my little drawings have given you joy over the years and you have the room in your budget, you'll consider supporting me!

i also have a kofi and redbubble if you'd rather support me that way!

no matter what - i genuinely appreciate all the kindness i have been given. i try very hard to keep catcrumb a self-driven art exercise - just one cat a day, doesnt have to be perfect or even good, just has to be a cat - but i couldn't have kept up the hobby without so many people's joy. it's been a genuinely incredible experience for my silly little scribbles to have positively touched people's lives - in-jokes between friends and partners, a gentle reminder, tattoos and baby clothes, something to look forward to... it's really been a flood of human kindness.

thank you all so much for all the joy - here's to more! :~D

[gracieheartspedro]

For Cryin’ Out Loud

pairing: post-outbreak! joel miller x fem!reader

how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters

word count: 7.9k

description: living with joel is complicated, especially when you can’t sleep due to nightmares. when you find yourself in his bed, you can’t help yourself. but joel sure can. give him a day to mull it over.

warnings: pretty slow burn, kinda forced proximity, kinda angsty, unspecified age gap (don’t like it, don’t read it), joel gives you tons of nicknames (darlin’, kiddo, etc.), discussions of nightmares and possible mental illnesses, some fluff, reader isn’t really described, joel is kinda a gaslighter, he’s also a bit pervy, unprotected p in v (wrap it y’all), oral (f! receiving), dirty talk, joel like worships you!!!!!, joel licks his fingers clean, giving genitalia pronouns, joel’s a big boy. think that’s it. lemme know what I missed!

author’s note: I really enjoyed writing this. the idea is pretty simple but I love domestic jackson!joel. I promise i’ll try to switch it up soon and write something that isn’t jackson!era lol. support your fav fics by reblogging and commenting!! thanks love ya <3

For some reason, you always find yourself standing at the threshold of the front door when you cannot sleep. 

The air was especially brisk tonight. You wrapped yourself in a gray chunky sweater you found in the lost and found in Jackson’s thrift store, hoping to regain some warmth. Your bed may have been comfortable, but it was the place where nightmares usually plagued you. 

It was too late to be awake, and you knew that if you were caught, you would hear it from Joel. He always reprimanded you. Every time he caught you up late, it was like your father woke up and found your hand in the cookie jar. 

The dynamic between you two had changed since arriving in Jackson, and you almost resented him for it. When it was just you, him, and Ellie, you were managing a family unit. Joel was always the protective father, you being the mom or the voice of reason, and Ellie being chaos. 

When Ellie and Joel’s relationship shifted, he took on a fatherly role for you. It bothered you. A lot. 

In a moment of contemplation, you hear footsteps coming down the steps behind you. 

He’s wearing flannel pajama pants and no shirt, his hairy tummy something you did not see often. 

“What are you doing awake?” He questions, his voice groggy with a twinge of annoyance. 

You do not feel like explaining yourself, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get out of this situation without a justification. 

You huff, leaning your back against the door frame so you can get a full look at the broad man. “Can’t sleep. Thought staring into the darkness would help.”

He grunts, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “How’s that workin’ for you, sweetheart?”

You could not close your eyes without the haunting dreams that seemed lively and so real. Every night, you had the same recurring ones. You were being chased, hunted, or murdered. Or all of the above. You would wake in a cold sweat, not wanting to shut your eyelids ever again. 

“Hm,” You say, staring back outside for a brief moment, “‘Was better when you weren’t looking over my shoulder.”

He chuckles, “Get back to bed.”

“I can’t, Joel.”

“You can and will. You’re no good when you’re tired.”

“If I close my eyes, Joel, I will just have the same goddamn nightmares I have every night. And I will end up doing what I’m doing now, which is trying to get some fresh air to forget them.”

“You’re not gonna forget ‘em with some fresh air. You just need to… get over them.”

The breeze picks up as soon as he says it, almost like the world knew the tension would have to be broken with some frigid air. You retort with, “And how do you get over yours?”

"I just accept them," he says, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "I don't have time to dwell on them. There's always more important things to worry about."

"I'm more tired in the morning when I just endure them." You explain, trying not to cry about it. But you are so sick of them. The same thing every night.

“I get it. One day they will subside, I’m sure of it. But for now, you gotta-”

You just want him to shut up. At the same time, your mind is trying to remember the last time you did not have a nightmare. The memory makes your stomach churn. “You remember that one time we were forced to share that sleeping bag? Back in Pittsburgh?”

“Yeah,” His tone was wary, “What about it?”

"That was the first night I didn't have it." You explain, your voice a bit shaking at the insinuation. You don’t want to face the fact that Joel, the man that you have known for going on 10 years, kept your nightmares at bay. The same man who continuously rejected you and told you that he was old enough to be your dad. The same man that told you no, I don’t like you like that. I never will. That Joel. 

“And? Why are you bringing this up now?”

"Because every night I go to my bed and I'm forced to face them alone. When you were there... they didn't even bother holding my mind hostage.”

He took another step closer, closing some of the distance between you two. He towers over you and you can’t help but stare up at him in awe. Joel has always been a complicated part of your life. You consider him your sexual awakening, honestly, but he will never ever know that. Over the years, he’s only gotten more handsome. 

But now, he has a curious expression written all over his face.

"Are you saying you want to share a bed with me?" he asks, his voice gruff and low.

You suck in a deep breath, not wanting to answer. You knew that was stepping over a boundary for Joel. He liked his space. He didn’t like you impeding on that space, especially. Your bedroom was the furthest away from his for a reason.

"I don't know." You manage to say.

Joel's gaze darkened, his expression was completely unreadable. You wish you could read his mind, but you should be grateful you can not. 

Because in Joel’s mind, he’s trying to formulate a way to convince you to stay away from him altogether. The wall he has built over the last decade was intentional. He did not want to hurt you any further. He already knew you had feelings for him, but he was an old man. He did not want to drag you into his mess, all the baggage he carried. He looked after you, he shared a home with you, and that’s it. Strictly platonic. 

He shifted on his feet a little, unable to tear his eyes away from you. You shook like a little leaf.

"You don't know?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble.

You nod, "I don't know if I want that."

You do want that. But you want more, too. You knew you would be playing with fire. You would just be disappointed. 

Joel’s temptations are buried deep but they still fester every now and again. Some days he would catch a glance at you getting dressed in the crack of your door and have to take a cold shower. As soon as he felt those emotions bubble in his chest, he would try to distract himself. Maybe he would take a longer patrol. Maybe he would go to the Tipsy Bison and try to find a woman to take home. That one never really worked. 

“Well, what do you want then? Because standin’ at the door and letting all the cold air in ain’t gonna work for me or you.”

You look down at your picked-over fingernails and contemplate your next sentence. You don't want to be heartbroken in the morning when you wake up and he's there sleeping peacefully next to you and you're not... his.

"I want to sleep with you."

Joel was not expecting such a blunt response from you, but he appreciated you not beating around the bush about it. He gestures for you to step out of the doorway so he can shut the door, which you do. 

He looked down at you, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the exhaustion and uncertainty. 

"You sure?" he asked, his voice a gruff whisper.

You just nod as he locks the front door. You couldn’t believe you were doing this. 

Joel couldn’t believe it either. Maybe it was the tiredness or the instincts he felt to protect you, but he was not mad at the idea of sharing his bed with you. 

You signal for him to go upstairs, “You lead the way.”

-

Joel’s room was always off-limits to you. So when you step into his small little world, you take it all in. 

The artwork around the room was mainly nature landscapes. He had a big dresser right at the room's entrance with picture frames of Sarah, Ellie, and other family members. You were even included in one photo—a picture of you and him on some horses from last year. 

A shirt littered one side of the bed, so you took that as it was probably his side. Unfortunately for you, it was the right side. You felt a pang of guilt realizing you would probably end up restlessly lying in Joel’s bed if you were stuck on the left. 

Before he can pull back the blanket for himself, you stop him. 

“Uh, can I sleep on that side?”

He completely halts in his motions, turning his head towards you with a blank expression. “My side? Why?”

You lick your lips, already regretting this whole thing. 

“Because I have had this superstition since I was a kid that I could only sleep on the right side of the bed."

Joel wants to laugh, but he doesn’t. He can tell you are at war in your head about the question, your expression practically anticipating his rejection. 

"Superstitions, huh?" he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips."You and your weird beliefs."

You watch as he crosses to the other side of the bed and lifts the blanket. Is he actually letting you have his side? Maybe he doesn’t hate you. 

“You could also call it a compulsion, but superstitions seem more fun and less like a mental illness.”

He laughs this time, his deep chuckle making you feel a bit more relaxed about the situation. You did not feel like a burden as much. You walk to the right side and pull back his navy blue sheets and blanket. The spot looks warm and inviting so when you crawl in next to Joel, you start to realize that you’re back in the same situation you were in years ago in that sleeping bag. He was so close and warm and you wanted nothing more but for him to hold you and keep you comfortable.

But then another thing came to mind before you could imagine his arms around you. 

You usually sleep on your right side or back, but now you don't know what to do because you didn't know how Joel slept.

"Do you sleep on your side or back?"

Joel studies you as you fidget beside him, your uncertainty causing him to smirk slightly. It was almost endearing, seeing you be completely out of control of your surroundings. He remembers back when you were traveling with him you had an obsessive need to straighten up everything before you fell asleep. You had to roll yourself up in your sleeping bag the same way every night. 

"Usually on my back," he said finally. "But I can sleep on my side, too."

You swallow, trying to picture yourself sleeping. For some reason you felt the urge to have control of the situation, dictating exactly how he has to sleep, too. "Can I... I'll sleep on my side if you can sleep on your back? Is that okay?"

Joel had to suppress a smirk at your request. You knew he was trying to hold back a snarky remark. Instead, he surprises you.

"Sure, you can sleep on your side," he agreed, shifting his body weight onto his back, "’n I'll sleep on my back. No big deal."

You turn to face him, tucking the pillow further under your head. You can tell his eyes are heavy from exhaustion. You know it's time to shut up, to go to sleep, but you feel the need to say something else to him. Sometimes your brain concocts questions and statements and you know you shouldn’t say them, but your mouth betrays you.  

"When was the last time you had a girl in your bed?"

Why the fuck would you ask that? You think to yourself. It fell out of your mouth like drool.

Joel's eyes widened at your blunt question, surprise and a hint of embarrassment coloring his expression. You knew he was probably just expecting you to lay here next to him, maybe roll around a bit, then sleep. But instead, it’s an interrogation.

He took a deep breath, his mind rattling around as he tried to think of a response. He didn't want to admit what his genuine answer was to you, but he too could not help himself.

"Why do you want to know that?" he asks, his voice steely.

You hate that he even responded because now you needed to defend yourself.

"I uh, don't know. I don't know why it matters."

Joel chuckled softly, noting that you probably just had a case of word vomit. You always told him you were infamous for putting your foot in your mouth, especially in awkward situations.

"Curiosity got the better of you, huh?" he asks, rubbing his face with his hands. “You just can’t help yourself, sweetheart.”

He shifted slightly, rolling onto his side to face you, his gaze studying your expression.

You smirk, grateful that he's letting it slide. When he turns onto his side and he's at eye level with you, your face drops a bit. He is ruining the vision in your head. He’s throwing a wrench in your plans.

"You're supposed to be on your back, sir."

Joel couldn't help but chuckle softly at your comment. He knew he was supposed to be on his back, but the new angle allowed him to see you better in the faint moonlight.

"Don't worry," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. "I'll turn back over in a minute. Just... enjoying the view for a bit."

You roll your eyes, lifting your hands from under the covers and lightly hitting his arm. You knew he was just fucking with you now. 

"Okay, for that, I want to know the answer to my stupid question."

Joel let out a low laugh, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. He shook his head, amused by your persistence. You start to think about it and you have never really seen him bring anyone home. Maybe it had been a very long time and he was embarrassed. 

"Alright, alright," he said, a hint of resignation in his voice. "Last time I had a girl in my bed..."

He paused for a moment, his eyes dropping to the covers, his mind racing to find the right words.

"Go on..."

Joel took another deep breath, his voice dropping even lower as he spoke.

"It's been a long time, kiddo," he admitted, his voice pierced with a bit of shame. "Almost ten years, if I'm being honest."

Your eyes widen in surprise. "No way... You've never just... got it on with someone in bed?"

Joel's face flushed with embarrassment at your blunt question, a mix of shock and slight irritation flashing across his eyes.

"Jesus, you really don't hold back, do ya?" he muttered. He shifts a bit, trying to get comfortable in a different way. He hadn't expected the conversation to turn so personal, so quickly and he did not want to face you anymore. He was mortified. 

You mentally slap yourself in the face.

"I'm sorry, I am just tired and delusional. Uh, you don't have to answer that."

Joel could practically feel the humiliation radiating off you and he too felt the exact same way. You knew how to add to an already awkward situation.

"No, no, it's fine," he reassured you, his voice a bit gentler now. "I get it. You're tired, and your filter has taken a backseat."

"Yeah, exactly..."

He shifted on the bed, turning onto his back again, his gaze shifting to the ceiling, avoiding your curious stare.

You could not help but stare at his side profile. A prominent straight nose. His downturned lips are surrounded by some fine lines that show his age. He was a beautiful man now, but you can’t help but imagine him back in his 20s. He had to have been a hit with the ladies back then.

Joel could feel your gaze on him, studying his face. And while you were not scrutinizing him, he felt like a commodity in a museum or something.  He forced himself to keep his gaze on the ceiling, refusing to meet your eyes.

"So… ten years and no sex?”

You could seriously, not help yourself.

"Correct.” He grumbles, still not meeting your stare.

"Damn, Joel." You mutter, adjusting a bit to sit up a little more on your pillow. "I seriously thought you were sleeping around the whole time we have been in Jackson.”

He finally turns your way, a bit of offense on his face. “Why would you think that?”

You shrug, not wanting to insult him. But that’s how you formulated your grudge towards him. It was easy to just chalk everything up to problems with random women you have seen around town. 

“You just give off the energy…”

“What?”

You huff, laying back on the pillow. “I don’t know, Joel! I feel like when I’m around you all the ladies think you’re handsome. They stare.”

“They are staring because you’re always following me around and we aren’t married or… together. They think we are odd.” 

You had never heard such things around Jackson, but it does sort of make sense. Everyone was probably just confused because you two lived together but were not a couple. You can admit it is bizarre, but it just did not feel like an option any other way, in your mind. So Tommy gave you two a bigger house and you set up separate rooms. 

But in actuality, Joel secretly told Tommy that he did not want you too far from him. So when Tommy couldn’t give you any other houses nearby, Joel just told him that you two would be roommates.

“Well fuck ‘em.” You mutter, trying not to sound too offended by the thought of people gossiping about you two.

Joel just nods. You settle by tucking your arm under your pillow. You yawn, the exhaustion now taking over your body. You watch Joel grab a pair of reading glasses from the side table and a book. You decide not to bother him, especially because he probably wanted to just read himself to sleep instead of being interrogated by you any further.

You close your eyes and eventually fall asleep. The deeper you get, Joel notices how your breathing pattern changes. When he’s finally ready to get some shut-eye as well, he watches as your body crawls closer to him. Your arm swings over his stomach and rests on his forearm. He is so shocked he does not move a muscle. 

You adjust some more, not knowing what you are doing. Your leg creeps up and tucks right between his. You snuggle your face right into his chest. The only movement Joel decides to make is slinging his arm over your shoulders to pull you in tighter. 

It’s the first time in years that you two slept soundly, with no interruptions. No nightmares, no sudden intrusions, nothing. Silence and snores fill the room and that’s it.

-

When you wake up, it’s slow and gradual. Your brain hardly computes that you’re laying on top of Joel’s shirtless frame, until your hand runs across his warm tummy. 

You crook your neck up, looking at the handsome man you are spreading across. 

His lips are slightly ajar, letting out hardly-there snores. They are so pretty and pink and you cannot help but touch them with feather-like fingertips. You would feel so guilty waking him up-

His eyes slowly open taking notice of your actions even though you tried not to stir him. Your eyes fly open in shock, but he does not seem very annoyed. He smiles. 

“Mornin’ darlin’,” He says in a deep sleep-laced voice. You smile back at him, loving that he decided to call you the nickname you always got giddy over. You press your fingers into his chest before replying.

“I didn’t have a nightmare.”

His hand comes up from your shoulders and tucks some hair behind your ear as he stares down at you, “That’s good kiddo. I’m glad you slept well.”

The intimacy is almost too much. The way this is how it would be if you woke up to Joel every morning. It sends your brain into overdrive and you force yourself to ruin it a bit.

“Woulda slept even better if you didn’t talk so much in your sleep.”

Joel froze for a moment, his cheeks immediately flushing pink with embarrassment. He sits up a bit more, adjusting to the brighter lighting in his room. He knew he had a problem with talking in his sleep. Ellie used to talk about it all the time. He dreaded hearing what he was saying while curled up next to you.

"Uh... what did I say?" he asked, trying to maintain his composure.

"Something about it felt so good to be pressed up against someone, I don't know..." 

You could not help yourself and started to laugh. You knew you were going to get a rise out of him. 

Joel's face flushed an even deeper shade of pink as you started to laugh, clearly amused by your joke. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, his mind racing as he tried to come up with an excuse. He was just dreaming, it was not about you. 

"W-what?" he spluttered out instead of making an excuse. "I didn't... I didn't say anything like that."

You have a shit-eating grin on your face and you press your hands on his chest to prop yourself up. You enjoyed watching him squirm.

Joel's eyes flickered down to your hands on his chest. He sickly thought they felt so right placed there. He imagined what you would look like fully mounting him. 

He tried to keep his expression neutral, but you could see through his stone-cold exterior.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?" he grumbled, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Fully fuckin' with you." You giggle, hoping he is not really that mad at you. 

“You’re a brat.”

You move your foot slightly, running it up his leg. It sends shockwaves up his body, having you so close and moving around so seamlessly. 

"No, you said something about how beautiful, alluring, and incredible I am. Said I was the girl of your dreams…"

"Yeah, right," he said, a hint of playful sarcasm in his voice. "You expect me to believe that?"

"So, you don't believe me?"

"No, I don't believe you," he says, his voice stern but playful. "I think you're a dirty little liar, trying to play me for a fool."

"A dirty little liar, huh? Well, it's good to know that you don't think I'm beautiful, alluring, and incredible." You giggle at his acknowledgment, knowing he caught you red-handed.

"Oh, I never said that," he smirked, a hint of teasing in his voice. "You are all of those things, darlin’. But you're also a dirty little liar who likes to play games."

"So you think I'm beautiful?" You crack, the biggest smile painted on your face. You don’t even care that he’s calling you a liar because it does not matter. Joel thinks you are beautiful. 

“‘Course I do.”

You push yourself up onto your butt, sitting crisscross next to him. He secretly wishes you were still curled up on top of him. 

“You always this nice in the morning?” You ponder, your fingertips starting to toy with the hair on his stomach. He tries not to pay mind to it, letting you have full access to touch him. 

But it’s driving him insane. The way you look freshly woken up, completely enamored with the idea of him calling you beautiful. You have some puffiness under your eyes and your lips are more swollen than usual.

“I am always nice to you.”

You let out a scoff, “No, you’re not.”

He notices the shift in your tone and starts to get defensive, “Now you’re just lyin’.” 

Joel always loved to gaslight you in these situations. You knew better than to let him get away with it, especially now. “No there was that one time you told me you did not like me and that you would never like me. How you are old enough to be my dad-”

“Because I am!”

And there’s the wall. The only constant in you two’s relationship. He was so good at throwing it up when feelings were being expressed. When vulnerability was presented, Joel could not help but reject it. 

“And the world’s fuckin’ ended, Joel! Big deal!” You almost yell, moving your hands from him. 

Why does he already miss your hands?

He huffs, crossing his arms over his soft chest. “We have had this conversation for the last 10 years.’M not sure why we keep rehashing it.”

“And every time you turn me down it’s another fuckin’ stab in the heart.”

“You know why we can’t,” He practically growls. You can not stand to even look at him anymore with your bitterness and irritation taking over. 

“Whatever, Joel.” 

As soon as you say it, you’re already leaving his room and heading to your own. When you slam the door, you hope you have made your point. You want to scream and punch a hole in the wall, but instead you just furiously stomp around the room and grab your clothes. You had patrol at noon, so you needed to get to the mess hall before breakfast was over. You try not to cry as you strip down and get dressed.

Joel sits in bed, reeling. He hates that it has become a conversation every six months. He hated that rejecting you always sent you into a spiral of hating him for extended periods. It’s not that he did not want you, it was simply just not in the cards. He was too old to be in love. He was too old to play house with you. He just could not submit to the idea of leading you on, especially because you had so much more life to live. 

He finally works up the courage to get out of bed and put on some clothes. He opts for putting on his typical jeans and thick flannel. It was getting colder and he knew by the end of the winter, you would end up with half his flannels anyway, so he had to enjoy them while he had them. 

You storm downstairs, going to the back door for your boots when you spot him in the kitchen. 

“You got pat-”

“Yes.” You respond quickly, shoving your foot into your shoes. He stands behind you with a mug full of tea, watching your every move. 

“Who are you-”

“Jesse.”

He was asking his usual questions, which you were not in the mood to answer. 

“Hey, can you-”

You snap your head back at him, giving him the glare you gave him as a warning usually. By now, he takes it as a hint and backs off. But not this time. 

“Can I what?”

He rolls his eyes, “Can you fuckin’ not be a brat about this?”

You wish your glare came with knives. If that were the case, Joel Miller would be dead on his kitchen floor. 

You are so thrown off by the question that you just watch him get angrier when you do not respond. 

“Are you serious, right now?” You press, keeping your voice from cracking. 

He brings the mug up to his mouth, taking an obnoxious sip. When he pulls the mug away, you notice how steaming it is. “You always pull this shit-”

“No, you do! You do this shit to me every fuckin’ time, Joel. You sweet talk me, make me feel comfortable, have me lapping everything up in the palm of your hands, and then you snatch it away. Then have the audacity to get mad at me!”

You are yelling now and it is throwing him off. Joel knows better than to interrupt you like you do to him. You were the kind of person who would calm down if you felt heard. 

The way he knew you down to your core made this all so painful. Because if he was not so stubborn and true to his convictions, he would have fucked you the moment you touched his lips this morning. 

“I ain’t tryin’ to make this harder than-” “Too fuckin’ late.”

You think back to the moment last night when you knew you were going to hurt your own feelings by sleeping with him. You knew better, yet here you are, still blaming him for your stupidity.

He stands there, still holding his mug, staring you down like a wounded doe who got pierced with an arrow. He feels guilty like he misled you. Before he can say anything, you are lacing up your boots and leaving out the front door without another word. 

-

All day long, Joel wanders around the house trying to get rid of the pit in his stomach. Nothing works. A shower. Reading a book. Cutting wood. As soon as he tried to use laundry as a distraction, he reached into his hamper and found one of your t-shirts. He held it close and smelled it, trying to wrap his head around how he got here. 

You spend all day, silently fuming on horseback with Jesse. When he tries to get you to open up, you ice him out and tell him to focus on the trail in front of him. 

You get back by sundown, the sun setting making it a lot chiller than you expected. You decide to take the long way home, wanting to avoid being home for as long as possible. You were not ready to face Joel, let alone share a space with him. But unfortunately, during your patrol, you fell into some mud and needed a shower. The more time it spent on your clothes and body, the grosser you felt. 

You open the front door, announcing that you are home. It was a habit you and Joel developed after you both pulled guns on each other during late-night arrivals. 

You hear Joel mumble something from the living room, but you do not stop to listen and continue on your way upstairs to the bathroom. 

You strip down as soon as the door is closed, tossing your muddy clothing into a hamper in the corner. You would get them washed and hung as soon as you shower off. 

You hear Joel’s footsteps creaking around the upstairs hallway as you scrub your body with homemade soap and warm water. 

When you start to dry yourself off, you hear Joel grunting something in the hallway. You wrap yourself in a towel and peek your head out the door. He’s on his hands and knees wiping something off the hardwood. “What’s goin’ on?”

He looks up at you, your body only covered in a bleach-stained blue towel. It makes his head spin. He can’t even be mad that you tracked in mud. 

He swallows, gripping the cloth he’s using tighter. “You got mud everywhere.”

You step out, not even really thinking about the fact that you are not properly dressed in front of Joel. You were still mad at him, anyway. Who cares what he thinks?

“Sorry, I could’ve cleaned it up.”

He returns to wiping the wood, “It’s fine, I got it, kiddo.”

You accept his response and move on to your room, but the draft you leave behind drifts to Joel’s nostrils. Your soap smells like lavender and it always sends his mind racing when you are fresh from a shower. He clears his throat, trying to get through the emotions filling his chest. 

But it’s been like this all day. You’re all around him even when you’re not physically here. How can he get away from you? Why is he trying to run in the first place?

He’s on his knees in your hallway, cleaning up your mess, sniffing the air you leave behind because he’s fucking in love with you and he cannot help himself anymore. 

Joel starts to think about how peaceful he felt having you next to him last night and how he would love to feel that way every night. For once he’s not thinking about what everyone else would think. For once he’s thinking selfishly and caving into every desire he has ever pondered about you. How would you feel under him? How would your lips feel pressed against his pulse point? 

His body was on fire, thinking about you. 

You are fiddling with some clothes in your dresser after you flick on the overhead light. You do not hear him come into your room behind you. 

You are so wrapped up in your own thoughts that when he clears his throat to announce he’s in your room, you scream. Loud. 

“For cryin’ out loud, woman!” 

You grip your towel tighter when you turn and see him standing at your mercy. 

“Joel, what the fuck?” You yell, gesturing to the fact that you are practically naked. He does not care, of course, and his ears are ringing from your piercing scream. He gathers himself as you shift back, trying to create some distance from him.

He is trying not to gawk at the fact that your grip on the towel against your chest is only pushing up your cleavage. He’s biting back everything. “Can we talk?”

“Talk about what? The fact you crept into my room when I was trying to change? Are we past boundaries now?” 

You are pissed, trying not to rattle off another million things to discuss with him. He’s only really talking about one thing. 

He scoffs at your last statement. “Boundaries were already out the window when you crawled into bed with me last night.”

Silence fills the room as you completely stop breathing. The anger you originally felt dissipates. 

“Joel-“

“I ain’t doin’ this back and forth anymore,” He starts shifting in his spot, unsure if he really should be doing this. “I can’t live how I've been livin’. Somethin’s gotta give.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. 

“You are the one who won’t give, Joel.”

As soon as you say it, he practically drags himself over to you. Completely destitute. You have never seen him look so desperate before. You can tell that he’s been at war with himself ever since you left this morning. His eyes never lied.

His hand creeps up your bare arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. 

But then you remember his words from this morning. You start feeling like this is just a moment of weakness for him and that he will regret it later. You had to stop it before it was too late. You did not want to deal with the consequences. 

“Joel, you said we can’t-”

“Fuck what I said,” He cuts you off, “Do you want this?”

You stare into those brown eyes, searching for a sign of hesitance. You cannot believe Joel is being this vulnerable with you. 

But, you do want him. God, you have wanted him so badly for so long. You have searched for him in every man you have ever been with since knowing him. 

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. He takes note of your parted lips, every word failing you at that moment.

“Darlin’-”

“Yes,” You finally manage. “Yes, I do want this.”

It’s all he needs. He closes the gap between you two by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his space. His lips crash onto yours, not wasting another breath of air waiting to indulge in his sickest fantasies. 

You are all Joel ever dreamed about. He knew that once he caved and physically gave in, his world would be shot and everything would revolve around you. For years it had been a teetering object on a cliff, one nudge would have him falling. He always managed. But now, he was falling head first. 

His lips move so perfectly with your own. Your hand released your towel and found the tufts of his curls at the base of his head. You did not care that the article pooled around your feet, leaving you completely bare in front of Joel. You have wanted this all along. To be uncovered, to be stripped down to the rawest form. He broke the kiss briefly just to scan your naked body, his forehead pressed against your own. 

“Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

Your heart stutters as his hand traces your stomach down to your hips, all the way down to your ass. He stops there, grabbing a handful. 

“I need you,” You choke out before pressing your lips to his over and over again. “Right now.”

He mumbles “jump” into your mouth and you do so, his hands working quickly to hike you up onto his waist. He carries you to your bed, wasting no time dropping you onto your back. 

He cannot get enough of your soft, swollen lips. Every time he pulls away slightly, he dives in again even more aggressively than the last time. 

You are so hypnotized by the way he feels on top of you. In the light, he seems so much broader than he was last night. He’s still fully clothed, to your dismay. You start to tug at his shirt, motioning him to remove the articles that are in your way. 

He throws off his shirt before he stands up at the edge of the bed and pushes down his jeans. 

“Joel… I-“

He just shuts you up with another passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth like he’s trying to melt into your mouth. Your hands trail up his back, gripping onto his shoulders, holding him down so he is pressing against your nude body. 

“God, I have wanted this for so long,” He sputters, trying not to sound too desperate. “Been wanting this.”

That’s when his hand reaches down between your thighs and gathers the wetness your slit has to offer. His fingers dance across it, starting from the top all the way to your spongy entrance. 

“Please, Joel.”

He loves the lust-laced tone you speak with when you say his name. It almost makes him cum there and then. 

You watch as he makes his way down your body, peppering kisses from your shoulder to your hip. When he parts your legs, you feel quite exposed. The adrenaline of being so spread for him manifests into a moan. 

“You are divine, baby.”

The use of that adjective is so-not-Joel that it makes you giggle. He notes your reaction and decides to sink down into you. When his mouth gets close to your core, it’s no longer a laughing matter. 

He uses his fingers again, using them to spread open your pussy lips. He cannot keep his eyes away from how dripping you are. “This all for me?”

“Y-yes, Joel.”

“God, I was a fuckin’ fool for so long. Could’ve had her earlier and I never fuckin’ caved. Such an idiot.”

Him giving your cunt pronouns was enough to have you throwing your head back and shuttering. His touch was magnetic like he knew exactly what buttons to push as he rubbed his fingers and palm over your core. 

“Yeah, you’ve been missin’ out. Every night…” You swallow before looking down at the man that is enamored with your pussy, “E-every night I would lay in this bed, fuckin’ myself just thinkin’ about you.”

He growls at the statement, before teasingly kissing your clit. “Every night, hm, kiddo?”

“God, yes.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as he leans forward more and dives in. His nose is pressed firmly against the top of your pussy, nudging forward every time his tongue enters your hole. When that motion became consistent, you began to note the rumblings in the pit of your stomach. A familiar build-up that you managed to get when you were playing with yourself. 

His fingers move in tandem with his lips and tongue. While his middle and pointer finger slide in and out of you, his lips wrap around your clit. It’s overwhelming and all-consuming. 

You do not know where to center yourself, so your hands grip the bed sheets you were completely soaking as Joel pulls the first orgasm out of you. 

“That’s it, baby, she’s cryin’ for me, hm?”

You hardly make a noise, the orgasm is so earth-shattering that you just writhe on the mattress. 

“Oh my god…” You groan, finally able to catch your breath. When Joel removes his fingers from you, you watch as he slowly brings them up to his lips.

When he inserts them in his mouth, you gawk at him, unsure how to react. He watches your expression and chuckles darkly.

“Mm, never seen a man enjoy the taste of ya?”

You shake your head. “Never expected to hear those words leave your mouth, either.”

“Wait ‘til you hear what else I got to say.”

He stands up beside the bed, grabs your hips, and brings them to the edge. He is tossing you around with ease, bringing your lower body flush with his. He yanks down his briefs, revealing himself to you. You instantly take notice of how well-endowed he is. You never thought you would ever be close to his cock, let alone have it lining up at your entrance. 

“Joel…“ You stop him with your small voice, but still welcoming him in with your legs opened wide, “I don’t know if it will fit.”

He grins, “It will, baby. Just relax for me, okay?”

You watch him slide his member along your center, the feeling so blissfully overstimulating. You whine a bit, raising your hips to his. 

But Joel continues his torture, enjoying the way you’re squirming under him. The way your eyebrows are knitted together, your eyes shut as you grind up into him. It’s the prettiest sight. 

“Ready?”

Your eyes fly open as you watch him ease his way into your core, the sound of squelching filling the room. You don’t think you have ever been this wet for someone. 

“Oh my fuckin’ god, Joel…”

He smiles as he inches in, “Squeezin’ my cock so good, darlin’.”

When he’s fully sheathed inside, he tests the waters by drawing out slowly. You roll your hips in a circle, trying to feel out every inch of him. He fits, but you know once he starts to move faster, the stretch will become overwhelming. 

He’s trying to focus and not blow his load immediately. You look so beautiful below him, your tits slowly shifting back and forth every time he draws back and forth. He reaches out, wanting to feel the flesh between his fingers. God, he craved every inch of you, he realizes. 

You open your legs as far as you can, letting him hit you at a different angle. The movement allows him to slip in a bit more seamlessly, so when he speeds up his thrusts, you don’t feel like you will completely split in half. 

He brings your leg up to hips, and feeling your soft delicate skin against him makes him lose all sense. His hips snap faster the more you moan out for him. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, girl. I can’t believe I was missin’ out on this cunt,” He babbles, “Need this cunt every day from now on. Gonna have you all to myself every night.”

You are too fucked out of your mind to read into those implications.

“‘M all yours, Joel.”

He smiles, slowing down a bit. “Keep talkin’ like that and ‘ll finish a lot sooner than you.”

You sit up a bit, your eyes flickering over his entire body. He notices you checking out his nude frame, which makes him feel a bit more bold. He leans down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. You love the way his tongue slips into your mouth so effortlessly. When he opens his mouth, his facial hair tickles your nose a bit which makes you smile. When his hips pick back up to a quicker pace, it sends you gasping into his mouth.

“Please, Joel,” You whine, that familiar build starts up but this time it’s like a freight train. Moving so quickly down every nerve ending in your body. “I’m gonna cum.”

“‘M with you, darlin’. Soak this dick. I’m right behind ya.”

His dirty talk causes the crash. Your body practically lifts off the mattress. You cry out so loud you are sure a neighbor could hear you. You try to gain your bearings, but you are panting like you just ran a mile. 

Joel fucks you through it, but the restriction your pussy is putting on his cock sends him over the edge. His hips stutter into yours, his seed emptying into your spent hole. He just keeps repeating your name as his thrusts slow down.

He has never had such a visceral orgasm in his life. His knees are weak and can hardly keep up his weight. He practically falls on top of you, which does not offend you at all. His warm sweaty body on top of you is almost reassuring. 

“You okay, kiddo?” He finally mutters as his hot breath fans the nape of your neck. You just nod, bringing your hand up to his salt and pepper hair. You tug lightly, smiling to yourself. 

“I’m more than okay.”

He finally sits up, his cock spilling out of you as he adjusts his position. Your hole drips a mixture of cum onto your newly clean sheets, but you could care less. It’s just another thing to hand wash tonight.

Joel stumbles to the middle of the room, picking up your bath towel. He uses it to wipe himself up before coming over to you. Your legs are still slightly apart so he decides to clean you up a bit. He’s gentle, knowing that you are probably still sensitive.

Once he finishes up, he crawls next to you as you continue to recover. Your bones felt like jello so standing up to adjust yourself was not an option.

So instead of facing him, you stare up at your ceiling fan as his eyes lock onto every detail of your profile. It brings him back to one night you two shared under the stars a couple of years ago. It was his turn to keep watch so you curled up in your sleeping bag by the fire. He admired you from across the flames, the orange hues lit up every angle of your face. It was at that moment that Joel realized that he could not picture his life without you. You had weaseled your way into every facet of his life and he used to resent the impact you had on him. You were younger, more patient but still stubborn like him. You made him laugh, like genuinely laugh, for the first time since the infection. While you may have been a bit impulsive with your emotions, he envied the way you could say exactly what you were thinking. 

Joel did not want to love you, but it was impossible not to. 

You finally look over at him, noticing the softness in his gaze.

“Are you okay?” You pose, scrunching your nose. 

He gives you a toothless smile, his eyes crinkling a bit. “I just can’t wait to sleep next to you for the rest of my life.”

tags of people I love and who may wanna read (no pressure I just love u) (some of u did ask tho) : @ashleyfilm @hockeyhughes @pedrospookie @guiltyasdave @amanitacowboy @myownwholewildworld

[yujateaandpi]

Gravity Falls Thirty More Years AU and Art Masterlist

Here's all the pages of the comic in order plus some of the other GF stuff I've made. I'll keep updating this list to make it easy on y'all.

Edit: I have a new tagging system! All asks will be tagged #thirtymoreyearsau without spaces, and all comics and fic updates will be tagged #thirty more years au with spaces. If you want the whole story together, then you can filter using this tag on my account! Filtered link here.

If you like the comic and would like to support it, here’s my tip jar! Donations also appreciated for this family's fundraiser!

Thirty More Years AU Comic:

Page 1

Pages 2 and 3

Page 4

Page 5

Page 6

Page 7

Pages 8 and 9

Page 10

Pages 11 and 12

Pages 13 and 14

Prequel Multiverse Mini Comic

Epistolary Prequel Companion/ Dipper's Diary Entries:

"Dear Mabel, I Miss You"

Answers to Common Questions:

What is the Thirty Years AU?

A Gravity Falls fan story and comic about what would happen if Mabel and Ford both fall into a leftover multiverse rift at the end of summer. They experience a week of silly adventures but return to a world where 30 years have passed and Dipper + co have aged without them. Told as both a comic and a companion fic.

2. How old are the characters?

Answer

3. When does the story take place relative to the show?

Answer

4. Where's Bill?

Answer

5. Where else can I read the comic? Will you distribute it on a site?

Releasing it on my Instagram (but Tumblr gets the pages earlier cause y'all are special). As for releasing it on a site, answer here.

6. How many pages/ how long will the comic approximately be?

Subject to change, but here's my answer for now.

7. How often will you post/ when will you post again?

Here's my answer for now, but if there's delays between posts please don't spam me with questions on when I'll post again. The updates will come when they come and I'm trying to keep this flexible.

8. Is this Drifting Stars AU/ Other Similar AU?

Answer

9. Someone's reposting on TikTok/ Other social media! Are you okay with this?

No, and please report them if you can. Answer here.

11. Will you tag me/ make a tag list?

Answer

12. Why haven't you answered my question?

Answer

13. What art program/ brushes do you use?

Answer

Other Fanart

Twin Glare^2

Kitten Sweater

Pines Pines Pines

Happy Birthday Twins

Gravity Falls The Odyssey AU

Sona Shenanigans

Fiddleford to the rescue

mystery trio eizouken

twins in time mini comic

F-fiddlestan…🥺

Stan Pines Mini Character Analysis Essays

Apparently I do this a lot, so collecting them in one place:

Poll thots

Rough and tumble little Stanley

Stan Appreciation

that magic 8 ball man…

off topic Billford thots

off topic Fiddleford thots

off topic Fiddlestan thots

off topic Emma May thots