#but I have just over an hour left
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Why does this friday feel like it is a week long?
#I don't wanna work anymore#but I have just over an hour left#and I really should get some work done#but it feels like forever#I just wanna go home
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Countdown to October 19th (19/19)
Happy 15 Years of Dan and Phil 🩵🩵🩵
#woop it is done#19 gif/edits over the past 19 days#I just finished this with like 20 minutes to go#considering I have had this planned for months I sure left a lot to the last minute#I am glad I did it considering mere hours before the first one I was so close to deleting everything I had done#because my mind was just like nooopppee it's not going to be good and people will hate it#so I just scheduled my first couple of posts and just backed away from my computer before I could delete anything#and it was all fine and people were really nice about it#people have said a lot of nice things on many of these posts and I have really appreciated it#because I know at least one person liked my post which was a nice feeling#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#phan#amazingphil#my gifs#dnp gifs#danandphilgames#dan and phil games#daniel howell#dpgphanniversary#phan countdown
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a little preview of my first-semester senior thesis, Lady Cottontail: Knight of the Warren! It's a middle-grade graphic novel following a rabbit knight and her journey through multiple animal kingdoms to find her warren's kidnapped princess. this is just a taste of the full thing, which right now comes in at 46 pages for just act 1! I plan to continue it next semester of course but working on it for the last few months has really given me a new love for these characters. and a new hatred for drawing trees. i drew so many trees. anyway :) i hope you like it lol
#and i am FINISHED WITH ITTTTT for this semester at least thank CHRIST#all that's left is to print. over forty six pages. for final crit. jesus christ how much money is that. hold on#at least $20... girl.#anyway. hi. please look at my silly little rabbit this is the reason i havent posted basically any art since linktober ended#this is like. a good 35 hours of work. and that's a conservative estimate. for just these 17 pages#ALSO. important to note. this is all hand lettered and paneled. because i am CRAZY and dont like the way any fonts look with my art#including fonts of my own handwriting. trust me i have tried#skribbles#cottontail
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...okay, one more, because Epel's white rabbit outfit is SENDING me. everyone in this event looks like a decadent little pastry and I want to eat them all.
(credit: lace stock)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#white rabbit festival#for the record i left off some of the bows#canonically he is even fancier#deuce might be the ssr but epel is the frilly little cupcake#genuinely have not been this excited for an event in a while#and that's not a knock on other events i am just SO excited for froufrou bunny frocks#chances are good they're just going to walk around for three hours and talk about. like. the gross national income or whatever#but as long as they do it while dressed like cakes i am happy#sorry if this looks bad photoshop decided to explode and corrupt my files and i lost over an hour of work on it#so i refuse to look at it any more#posting purely to spite photoshop at this point
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tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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Do you ever find yourself just sitting and thinking about how hard it must have been to write a family of seven siblings and make them all unique and interesting, yet give them these similar threads that tie them back to one another. And like not only did cassie succeed in that, but all the blackthorns literally go so hard?? Mark being the lost son who doesn’t know how to be who people want him to be and Julian being the boy who had to grow up too fast who’s whole life is his siblings, and when he tries to reach for something that’s just for him it ends up being catastrophic. We’ve got Livvy, the heart of the family and their true north, and Ty, who can’t imagine navigating the world without her. There’s Dru, desperate to be taken seriously and treated like an adult, and Tavvy, who’s younger than his years because of his trauma. Half these characters don’t even have POVs and yet they’re all so alive to me. Forget warlocks and faeries, this right here is the real magic of TDA.
#it’s go feral over tda hours apparently#sorry I left out helen I just didn’t have anybody to parallel her with#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#cassandra clare#tda#the dark artifices
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Everything is very horrible today in an autistic meltdown kinda way so either I'll pop off and draw a lot or lay face down in bed doing nothing for several hours we'll just have to see
#the worst thing is its not just any one thing#its a build up of terrible terrible terrible#and when i do fibally get set off it seems like its over smthn really fuckinf stupid#RAGHHH#i will explain actually cause most of it woild piss anyone off#my whole family is off of school/work today except me#my siblings went to the movies#i had to go to work and work was fuxking SLAMMED#so i had a pretty shitty day already work wise#then i learn like an hour before i leave that i have to pick up my siblings#in the rain#in the dark#and also two othee peoplw are gonna be there so my car will be litetally full#and its in the busiest part of town#AND i have to pick up dinner beforehand#so that combined with evweything elae aboit today was already upsettint#and then the coworker i dont fucking like started fuckung around with smthn#not doing his aork#which is why i dont like him cause he never gets anything done#so that was sort of the last straw ig#anyway my manaher was bejng really nice befoee i left cause i was obviously upsey#but i was like ' listen i am literally about to have a meltdown so i have to go i cant do this rn '#i feel bad about it#but whats worse briefly inconviencing my manager or having a whole fucking meltdown in frojt of everyone#muppets ref ha#anyway#i just wish my parents respected me#even a little bit#cause they sure fucking dont#not me nor my time haha!
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There needs to be a scientific study done on how Rockstar Games' Arthur Morgan is able to provoke the most earth shattering emotions I didn't even know I had in me
#you guys get me right#like you feel it deep in your chest#the joy the anguish the grief#it feels like words aren't enough#and I don't mean it as in “sad moment in video game makes you sad”#I mean it as in “a deep and well written moment that has been slowly building is fleshed out in a video game and I think about for weeks”#when I say I lose sleep over this game I really mean it#I spend hours just laying in bed thinking about everything that happens in arthur morgan's life#it eats at me#I'm not ashamed of how much I have cried over this game#it fucking gets to me#playing rdr2 is the best form of escapism until the story hits you like a stab in the chest but the blade just pushes in further and further#until you're left with a gaping wound#“wow michael I didn't know you were so emotional over pixels on a screen”#except those pixels were acted out and performed by real people and voiced by real people and designed to look like real people#the game's main target was historic realism emphasis on REALISM#to provoke emotions through amazing storytelling#it's okay to feel strongly about things!!#this game man#this game#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick thinks#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2 spoilers
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Guys hear me out wait shhh guys listen listen reverse death anderperry like this poem but with Neil, Todd, and Jeff Anderson

#Todd is dying so Jeff shows up at the hospital and Neil is waiting by Todd’s bed and that’s the first time they actually meet and they are#talking and Jeff is learning about Todd and everything that’s happened since welton because Todd went no contact with his family after#leaving welton and went off to become a poet/writer which his parents obviously didn’t approve of so Todd left and never contacted any of#them ever again and so Jeff hasn’t heard from Todd in years and their parents didn’t come but Jeff did cause that’s his brother and Jeff is#asking questions and Neil is answering like ‘I was Todd’s roommate at welton’ and ‘we’ve lived together after Welton both leaving home’ and#‘I’m an actor and Todd’s a writer; he’s put out a few books; we have copies in our apartment if you want me to bring them for you to read’#and Jeff would buy Neil coffee despite Neil insisting he can pay because Jeff wanted to do something as a thank you and it’s not much but#it’s something for being there for his younger brother and as they are drinking their coffee and talking two doctors are in the background#one with a cane and the other looks oddly like Neil but that’s unrelated and Neil is like ‘do you have somewhere to sleep? you can stay in#our apartment’ and Jeff is like ‘I wouldn’t want to impose’ and Neil is like ‘no no you’re family and besides it’ll be lonely if it’s just#me there so you’d be doing me a favor’ and so Jeff agrees and like he drops Jeff off at the apartment to sleep off the jetlag and he goes#back with Todd and Jeff is just looking at the things in the apartment; the life of the brother he barely knew anymore; and Neil doesn’t#come back until visiting hours are over; until they practically kick him out; but they spend the whole night telling stories; bridging the#separate Todd’s they both new to create this fuller picture of a man they both wished was there still and not dying in a hospital bed#and after Todd dies Jeff still tries to incorporate Neil into the family; he includes Neil because Neil was Todd’s family and that makes#him an Anderson even if Todd is gone so like Neil and Jeff have this weird brotherly bond even if they aren’t actual brothers#dead poets society#dps#dead poets fandom#dps fandom#neil perry#todd anderson#jeff anderson#jeffrey anderson#anderperry
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Been impossible to take photos of these nails due to horrible weather lighting, but since it was specifically inspired by Ieeha I needed to figure out a way... thank you closet for having surprisingly decent lighting and dresses for being a surprisingly decent backdrop!!!
#dont mind the wrist cuffs I just felt they helped todays joint fuckery LOL#while making it more aesthetically pleasing to look at#i hate being isolated at home i wanna go OUT and i wanna DRESS UP#lmao this was gonna be about the nails#accidental peek into silvis other hobbies (nails and egl. idk how tumblr acts with the actual name as a tag these days)#(so egl just in case to be safe)#from left to right the dresses are AP rose museum+infants little ladies portrait+AP wonder gallery&antoinette decoration#i used to be more into gothic (or kuro rather) but that was like over a decade ago#the last couple years ive been slowly accumulating a sweet/hime ish wardrobe#just a pity i havent been able to leave the house..... 😔 heres hoping we can change that!!!!#ANYWAY. NAILS. the polish is lurid laqcuers 'waiting for someone who never comes'#that and several other shades SCREAMED ieeha hence i got them.... this polish is reflective but idk if i can include video from phone#just know that its EXTREMELY pretty and even prettier irl and looks like golden dust in water in the bottle#so yeah..... shimmery sparkly blue beautiful + pearls butterflies lace? TIS IEEHA#not his only vibe but a major one nonetheless. i have other ideas i wanna try someday#(also for some reason my nails ALWAYS looks way shorter in photos than they are irl. idk why)#nor do i know why im mentioning that. probably because i spent so much time filing and shaping and you cant even TELL#anyway. im rambling. feeling better now than before though so i count tjat as a win#not ffxiv#silvi talks#(also these nails took me 3 hours ish. cause i fight against the flesh. but also its like 8 coats.#base coat + 3 polish coats (its very sheer) + glitter coat + top coat#also rip at all the phone typos for all the tags#and skipped words#infanta*** smh
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Seeing the newest TADC episode…
And Zooble (future Gooseworx) comforting Gangle (past Gooseworx) is just AAAAAGGHHHH
“Now come on over and hang out with the rest of us. And bring your art too, I always like seeing what you draw”
What if i just sobbed
#this was such a relatable episode for me#constantly keeping up a mask while working#while everyone around you is constantly poking at it#and then when Pomni volunteered to close….#it reminded me of when I broke down at work one time and the other worker there told me to go home#that they can take care of it#i was having a rough day and then the person who was supposed to take over my shift was at least an hour late#and i couldn’t drive then so someone was waiting to pick me up#and they had a busy schedule so the guilt kept on piling#whats worse is the worker who would take over wasn’t answering their phone#so idk how long i would have to cover for them#and whether i should just tell the person picking me up to just go#bc what if they left and the worker came in and id have to tell them to come back#anyways good job Gooseworx this ep rrly hit hard#gooseworx#tadc#the amazing digital circus#gangle#zooble#also the foreshadowing to ragatha’s ep is just chefs kiss#tadc spoilers#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#rosy rambles
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long!!! distance!!!! sucks!!!!!!
#I have no idea how long distance couples survive#I'm losing my mind over my squish being so far away#wdym I can't hug them :(#wdym there's a whole ass month left until they come back????#and like. I wanna text and call them so often but I'm scared of being too much yk#but equally it's been a week since I last heard their voice and I'm going insane#I also hate the time difference!!!!!! there's like a three hour window in which we both MIGHT be free but it's hard to coordinate :(#I just. I've never missed someone this much before#I imagine being reunited almost every day#sigh#also kinda scared about the fact that we're going to go from not having seen each other for 3 months to LIVING TOGETHER#I'm really hyped don't get me wrong#but also. aaaaaaa#(post inspired by the fact that they haven't messaged me back yet despite it being only 9am for them lol)#me? clingy? haha whaaaaaat nooooo#comso rambles#queerplatonic yearning hours#qpr yearning#queerplatonic#aroace#long distance love
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Umm I love them???
#SHE WAITED FOR HIM FOR 4 HOURS ON TOP OF THEIR MEET UP SPOT#THEIR MEET UP SPOT IS BIG BELLY BURGER AHHHH#I didn’t really ship jayrose too much before#but I’ve been scrolling down their hashtag and I love them so much#Die hard Rose fans will say they don’t belong together and Rose shouldn’t be reduced as a character for Jason’s benefit#Yeah I completely understand and mostly agree with you.#Mostly. So for now I’m just going to enjoy me some good soft Jayrose content :)#I absolutely think Rose should NOT be reduced as a character but I have to say they are v cute together#The “Promise?’’ “Promise.’’ made my heart flutter I don’t even know why 😭#I’m a sucker for couples who care about each other like this#She could have just left it at ‘be careful’#But no Jason had to promise her that he will come back to her#It’s just. So. Damn. Good#IM DYING OVER THEM FR#You know they’d die for each other and make jokes about death and daddy issues#And with their shared use of ✨violence✨#And just generally become THE power couple#jason todd#red hood#batfamily#batfam#dc#dc comics#Ravager#Rose Wilson#Jayrose#Jason x Rose#holy queue batman#red rambles
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well I can't say that chapter three of my big bang is completely edited because I entirely rewrote the first half of it but! the latter half is technically edited! there's something to be said for having the og chapter in one panel and then completely retyping it in another panel; it allows for a good amount of restructuring and also lets me fuck around with some syntax, phrasing, etc.
gonna have to SPAG edit that fucker though
currently debating whether to post five chapters on sunday like originally planned or just post four. I mean, chapters 1-4 are 30k in and of themselves, which is about a quarter of the (rest of the unedited) fic...I suppose it depends how many chapters I manage to edit by then
#I want to go over chapters 1 and 2 again#I mean I have to bc I left a few blanks even on the first editing pass#but also just bc I want to make sure it all looks Pretty before it's posted#yeah I have a job that I could pay attention to during the week but who cares about that when I get to start posting my big bang!!#catch me editing this during my free hours though#julia writes
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mutuals I made u cookies
#i have a ton left over from tdor im just gonna be grazing on them for the next 48 hours#i need to get pastel pink food dye. whys it hot dog color in this light amskdkd#my posts
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