I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.
Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.
Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.
I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.
This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.
They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.
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god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?
he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.
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You know Desmond is really unlucky with how his bloodline like he got the Kenway drama and bad fathers genes from his from one side and the non-existent mother genes on Altaïr's side where instead if you flip them you get Desmond's father (whose name suddenly escapes me) dying while Desmond is young and Desmond either raised by his mother who might be better idk but it'd be hard to do worse than (insert des's dad's name here)
Uuuhhh… well, his mother’s personality has never been explored all that well.
The most we know of her, as far as I know, is that she had been worried and trying to find Desmond when he ran away and that she knew that her husband’s personality can be considered quite cold but she’s used to it and it’s from Assassin’s Creed Encyclopedia p182 (the White version):
“While William’s wife has always been able to deal with this emotional distance, young Desmond could not.”
This could either mean that it was a loveless marriage that may or may not have been amicable OR they had the kind of love where they didn’t need to show it to know that they love each other.
I personally believe that Desmond doesn’t hate his mother. Whenever he talks about her, there’s always this feeling of wistfulness in it. While we cannot be sure what kind of mother she was, it’s clear that Desmond cares for her in some way.
At the very least, he feels some kind of guilt for leaving her when he didn’t feel the same way for Bill.
So in this situation where Bill died while Desmond was young, there’s a higher chance of Desmond not leaving the Farm.
Of course, Bill’s death could easily change his wife and Desmond would now have to deal with a grieving mother who might want to finish Bill’s training.
The grief of losing her husband could just as easily turn to fear of losing her son and that fear would force her to push her son to work harder, to become stronger.
In turn, making her just as bad or even worse than Bill.
On the other hand, losing Bill could be the trigger that makes have a more active part in Desmond’s training with the fear of losing her son making her dote on Desmond more.
We can never be sure how one would react to the lost of someone they love after all.
But what if it had been a loveless marriage?
Then the most that would change would probably be his mother taking a more active role in his life.
So it really boils down to what kind of mother you would want Desmond to have.
The only limitation is that, no matter what kind of mother she is, she did not have the power or she directly didn’t intervene with how Bill treated Desmond.
.
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My go to ‘mother’ is usually one that’s cold towards Bill and only married and had a child with him because of it was her duty. Why? Because I like to add more drama to Desmond’s life.
She’s usually the one who give Desmond tips when he’s having trouble with training, being the one to teach him how to use fae lies and to close and open his hands to the timing of his slow breathing whenever he’s starting to panic.
She cares for Desmond and tries to be gentle with him but she has a heavy sense of duty to the Brotherhood as a descendant of the Ibn-La'Ahad and her complicated relationship with Bill and Bill’s focus on raising Desmond makes her a bit more distant than she or Desmond would have liked to each other.
When Desmond left, that’s when her carefully created mask of indifference fell apart and she tried to look for him desperately.
That kind of personality would have stepped up after Bill’s death and train Desmond the way she had been trained and the way she wished she had been trained.
In that kind of scenario, there’s a chance that Desmond would actually grow up to be more like Altaïr than the Desmond we all know and love.
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Personally, I think canonically Bill’s wife does love him (who may or may not have already died in the attack on the Farm if the way Bill sides away from Desmond's request to talk to her in AC3 was any indication). I just like writing her as having a complicated relationship with Bill and Desmond so Desmond inherits the Kenway family drama XD. (which can be seen a bit in The Shadow’s Endgame)
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