#but I got through it and I am very happy with ho it turned out

[mitamicah]

Happy anniversary to Bojere specifically :'D

[msschemmenti]

country living

request: there needs to be more love for jemily x reader tho!! so im thinking like jj taking her partners back to pennsylvania to show them what it’s all about

jemily x reader

summary: jj’s high school reunion is happening and she convinces both her girlfriends to come to her small rural town in pennsylvania.

a/n: hey hottie!! thanks for the request— country girls shake it for me jj edit stans rise!! idk how rural east allegheny is but im making it very small town rural 🤠 hope you enjoy <3 if anyone wants the actual reunion part of this just let me know 🫡

“good evening lovers!” y/n smiled over her shoulder at the sound of her front door opening.

“lovers? that’s new.” emily mumbled as she rounded the kitchen island to the younger woman.

“you got a problem being one of my lovers?” y/n asked teasingly as she turned the heat down on the stove.

“not at all, just curious.” emily replied holding her hands up in surrender before placing a kiss on y/n’s cheek.

“i kinda like it.” jj mused slipping out of her shoes.

“you like anything that alludes to bedroom activities.” y/n rolled her eyes at the blonde.

“guilty!” jj sing-songed, coming to pinch y/n’s side affectionately. the younger woman turned the stove off completely and turned to face her girlfriends.

“dinner will be done in a little bit if you want any. oh and before i forget, i picked up your mail, it’s in the mail holder in the entryway.”

“thanks baby.” jj smiled, stepping back in the entryway to retrieve their mail. she shuffled the envelopes, scanning the senders as she walked back into the kitchen. she plopped down on a stool and passed emily a few bills before pausing at an invitation addressed to her. she slid her finger through the sealed envelope and pulled the invite out curiously.

“god, has it really been 25 years since i graduated high school?” jj mumbled as she flipped the card over.

“25 years?” y/n echoed. “i’m not even going to say what i was going to say.”

“oh god, don’t do that thing you do when you say how old you were during that year. it always makes me feel old.” emily grumbled.

“hey! i stopped myself. i can’t help it, it’s the only way i can track time.” y/n whined as she started plating dinner. “anyways, is there a reunion or something?”

“yeah, it’s in pennsylvania next month.”

“oo, are you gonna go?”

“maybe. i haven’t been home in a pretty long time. i’m sure my mother would enjoy that.” jj mused.

“if we don’t have a case, i think you should go.” emily added.

“i second that. you gotta show everybody how hot you still are.” y/n nodded, as they all settled around her small dinner table.

“well if i go, you two have to go too. what better way to show everyone how hot i am, than to bring my super sexy lovers.” jj pointed with a cheeky wink.

“to pennsylvania?” emily grimaced.

“yes? don’t look so happy about it.” jj rolled her eyes.

“i don’t know, didn’t you grow up on a farm or something?” emily continued.

“not on the farm, near yes. you’re acting like im gonna make you milk a cow and churn your own butter.”

“didn’t reid say you were corn fed once? is that not what that means?” emily questioned.

“can i wear cowgirl boots? i don’t have any but i wanna buy some.” y/n asked turning to jj.

“obviously neither of you have ever been to pennsylvania.” jj shook her head.

“right, but cowgirl boots. yay or nay?”

“i vote yes. i think you’d look hot.” emily voted.

jj sighed with a smile and shook her head, “god, i hope we get to go to this reunion.”

-

luck was surprisingly on jj’s side and she and her girlfriends were pulling up to her childhood home in East Allegheny early thursday morning.

jj put the car in park and slid out first and sighed as she gazed over her childhood home. y/n hopped out of the backseat, feet covered by the red leather cowgirl boots she just bought. emily slid out last, sunglasses blocking the sun and a soft flush from the morning heat.

“welcome to east allegheny.” jj smiled turning to face both women.

“how exciting! pennsylvania.” emily teasingly cheered, causing jj to roll her eyes.

“it is giving corn fed.” y/n spoke quietly as emily leaned into her side.

“oh shut up! you two are the worst.” jj pouted.

“we’re kidding we’re kidding!” y/n protested moving to wrap her arms around jj’s neck and pull her close. “we’re so excited to learn more about country living babe.” y/n grinned before puckering her lips in a silent request.

“mmhmm, you’re definitely dressed for country living.” jj teased, meeting y/n’s lips sweetly.

“just be glad, em wouldn’t let me wear my hat. i think it looked adorable.”

“adorable yes. i agree. but i think it was a little too on the nose.maybe save that for texas or something.”

“hater.” y/n rolled her eyes before hissing as emily pinched her bum in retaliation.

“alright you two, behave. my mom’s waiting inside and i’ve got a whole day of east allegheny things i wanna show you.” jj scolded.

“yes ma’am.” emily and y/n said in unison with giggles on their tongue. emily grabbed their weekend bags and followed behind jj and y/n as they headed for the house. as soon as the first stair creaked— the door flew open and revealed sandy jareau.

“hey mom.” jj smiled softly at her mother through the screen door. their relationship had definitely been strained in the past but sandy seemed to finally be accepting her daughter for who she was and who she loved.

“morning jenny. come on in girls. i just finished breakfast.” sandy corralled leaning to kiss jj’s cheek as she pasted through the door. both y/n and emily followed suit and smiled politely at their host. jj leads the way through the hall of her childhood, breezing past the soccer pictures and family portraits on the wall. but unfortunately for her— her girlfriends were not breezing past anything.

“oh my god, is that jj?” y/n asked on an excited gasp. jj groaned and turned to see where the younger woman had stopped in the hall. she shook her head solemnly when she realized she had stopped at the top of the hallway.

“oh yeah, little jenny.” sandy smiled over the younger woman’s shoulder. “i’ve got the pictures situated chronologically as you go further up the hallway. she’d just lost her first tooth.”

“oh i just wanna pinch those cheeks!” y/n grinned pulling her phone out to snap a picture to keep.

“i’ll have to get the album out before y’all head back.” sandy smiled heading toward the kitchen.

“oh god, don’t enable her. there’s no telling what she’ll do with those pictures.” jj whined.

“no no, don’t listen to her. mrs. jareau, i need to see every baby picture of jj you have in this house.” y/n called as she stuck her tongue out at jj teasingly.

emily hid her laughter behind her hand and placed her hands on y/n’s waist to guide her toward the kitchen of the small home. jj followed behind rolling her eyes at the giddy look on all the women’s faces.

-

“are we taking the truck? please say we’re taking the truck.” y/n bounced at the bottom of the steps looking up at jj. they’d all cleaned their plates and thanked sandy and now jj had a day of ‘country living’ planned for her two girlfriends.

“i kinda wanna see you drive a truck as well. is there a hat you’ll wear as well?” emily joined y/n at the bottom of the stares.

“oh it’d be so hot.” y/n mused bringing her hands up to pull on jj’s arm impatiently.

jj’s eyes moved from emily’s teasing smirk and y/n’s pleading pout and couldn’t help but grin under their attention. allowing the younger woman to pull her into her side, she placed a chaste kiss on her pouting lips. “fine fine, we’ll take the truck. since it’s in such popular demand.”

y/n cheered happily and made a beeline for the old red truck parked under the tree leaving emily and jj to watch her go. emily slung her arm over jj’s shoulder with a laugh, “she’s loving this way more than i thought she would.”

“wouldn’t be surprised if she’s got a thing for cowgirls.” jj said bumping her hip against emily’s.

“oh for sure.” emily agreed with a laugh. they watched as y/n climbed into the bed of the truck and turned to face them.

“can i ride in the back? i wanna feel the country wind in my hair.”

“no.” both emily and jj vetoed in unison.

“aww you guys are no fun.” y/n pouted but knew they weren’t changing their minds.

-

“emily!” jj called with her hands held out in warning.

“what?!” emily paused in her step.

“your foot is hovering over a huge pile of shit. and i know how many you’re going to be if you step in that.” jj pointed.

“oh yeah that’d be so gross. we’d make you ride in the bed of the truck.” y/n nodded turning to look at the poop in question. “oh my god— what kinda animal did that?”

jj laughed with a shake of a head and turned y/n back toward the way they were walking. “the horses.”

“have i been that obvious about my cowgirl thing?” y/n asked eyeing both emily and jj.

“we assumed but the look in your eyes confirmed everything we were thinking.” emily shrugged with a knowing smirk.

y/n nodded in acceptance before turning to face jj, “in that case, i need to see you up on that steed, now.”

“i can’t believe you just said steed.” emily deadpanned.

-

after spending the day on her grandfathers farm, jj pulled the truck into the only small parking lot lit up. it was about 9pm and east allegheny had fully transitioned into night life mode. which in a small town means going to ‘the hidey hole’ for darts, beers, line dancing, and fried onion blossoms.

jj slid out of the truck first and emily followed from the passenger door. after refusing to let y/n ride in the bed of the truck, she insisted on being squished between them in the front. with both women out of the truck, she scooted her way to the edge of the driver’s side and hopped into jj’s waiting arms.

“i think we should get a truck.” she smiled dreamily as jj placed her on the ground.

“you’re only saying that because you’ve been wedged between us all day.” jj shook her head in amusement.

“well yes, but think of the easy access a truck allows.” y/n grinned mischievously.

emily blew a huff through her nose as she rounded the truck and stepped behind jj, caging the blonde between them. “now she makes a very good point. i think we should hear her out.”

jj’s cheeks reddened and her eyes rolled, “you two are trouble. i’m starting to regret bringing you both here.” y/n and emily laughed joyously before both kissing one of jj’s cheeks affectionately and releasing her.

they all filed into the bar and nabbed a tall table in the corner. with both y/n and emily seated, jj nodded her head toward the bar. “i’m gonna go get us some drinks and an onion blossom.”

“an onion what?” emily asked as jj walked away.

“i have no idea. i can’t lie though, i’m kinda excited.” y/n clapped happily. jj returned shortly with three beers wedged between her fingers and a plate of fried deliciousness.

“oh it’s definitely giving corn fed.” y/n grinned, pulling the onion blossom toward her side of the table eagerly.

-

“baby, why’s your face on the wall?” y/n asked as she and jj set up for a darts game.

“oh no reason—“ jj started to deflect but was quickly interrupted by a bumbling gruff guy leaning against the wall near them. “she’s the only person who’s ever gotten a single treble 20 in this town.”

y/n looked between the man and jj incredulously, “so you’re basically famous?”

jj shook her head with a smitten grin and the guy nodded his head in agreement. “she’s hidey hole royalty.”

“oh my god, em! jj’s royalty! come take my picture with her picture.” y/n called across the bar— much to jj’s dismay. she was positive those beers were finally hitting her girlfriend and she couldn’t help but to laugh as she watched her pose with the framed photo on the wall.

-

full of cheap beer and love, jj stopped the rusty truck in the backyard of her house. with the car in park she turned to her girlfriends with a smile. “wait here, i’ll be right back.” she darted up the back porch and quietly opened the screen door to enter. y/n and emily watched her go, but stayed put as they’d been told. when jj reemerged she was carrying piles of pillows and dragging blankets behind her. she threw them into the bed of the truck and pulled herself over the edge to situate everything comfortably. once the blankets were placed to her liking, she knocked on the back window and motioned for both women to join her.

“i can’t believe i ate something called an onion blossom.” emily groaned as she shuffled closer to y/n’s side.

“i can’t believe you wouldn’t line dance with us. that was a once in a lifetime experience.” y/n grumbled.

“you get so much more dramatic when you drink.” emily spoke into the younger woman’s hairline.

“you got a problem with that?” y/n asked feigning aggression.

“quiet you two, or i’ll ground you both.” jj reprimanded teasingly, eyes trained on the star filled sky. they all dissolved into giggles, feeling so light and so full of love that they couldn’t contain it. when they quieted down jj spoke softly. “when i was younger my grandfather would set up the truck like this for ros and i every weekend. it was my favorite part of the week.” y/n pulled jj closer as they quietly listened to her story. “it’s probably one of the things i miss the most about her. it was like our special time together. we didn’t argue, she wasn’t completely annoyed by my presence and it was our sister time.”

emily reached across y/n to twine her and jj’s fingers in support. “you know that reminds me of my summers in paris with my grandfather in his isolated cabin. we’d spend the day hiking and fishing. and end the night in a hammock identifying constellations.” emily recalled.

“i know you’ve both been together for so long, but i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of getting to know you both.” y/n smiled up at the stars squeezing both emily and jj affectionately. they hummed happily and enjoyed the clear night sky. a true perk of country living.

[hotchsofficialwifey]

strangely, he feels at home in this place

warnings: angsty, lots of fluff, hurt/comfort, descriptions of a panic attack, umm idk what else

a/n: yay, new fic! fucking finally!! i loved the fnaf movie and it re-inspired by obsession with josh hutcherson, so here i am, writing for it! pls don't bully me for this (don't like, don't read)

"mike?"

your warm voice echoed in the freezing dark room. he was shivering vigorously, his eyes bloodshot and puffy. tears stream down his face with only mere muffled whimpers coming out as a result. he hated feeling like this, but you hated seeing him like this even more. you jump to action, frantically trying to give him the comfort he so desperately needed.

you weren't close at all, you and mike. you were abby's babysitter, and that was it. but over the months, you grew very fond of mike (maybe a little more than that), and mike grew very fond of you. your co-existence was so peaceful it made you feel as if you had known each other for years. silence between you two never weighted, but instead floated, like a water lily down a stream.

but in the months you had known him, never had you ever seen him like this. so vulnerable, so frightened. it triggered an impulse in you you didn't even know you had to protect, nurture, love.

you wrapped your arms around him, his tense muscle melting ever so slightly at your embrace.

"mike, what's wrong? let's sit down, yeah?" he nodded half-heartedly, and you practically had to push him to the sofa. his movement was rigid, and his silent weeps began to turn into heavy sobs, you only prayed abby wasn't listening from the other room. you continued to hold him close, as if someone were trying to pull him away. you hoped he knew that no one would ever pull him away from you.

after a few minutes, mikes anguished sobs began to quiet down. you guided him through some deep breaths, giving him time to settle down, at least. his whimpers were quiet, but he seemed significantly calmer, and a few moments later, you broke the silence.

"mike, what's wrong? talk to me, i'm here for you." your voice was firm but caring, full of the tender love you genuinely had for him. mike took another deep breath, and then another one, before he finally spoke.

"work was terrible. it was, it was-" before he started crying again, you gently shushed him.

"you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. i just want to make sure you're okay." he was silent, contemplating, it seemed.

"mike. i need you to tell me that you're okay." you squeezed his bicep reassuringly and he looked up at you with the sweetest eyes. the sweetest, most devastated eyes. your heart tightened at the sight.

"i'm okay." his voice was practically inaudible, but his eyes spoke for him. the tight-lipped smile you forced against your face, along with the warm touches, seemed to calm him. for him, it felt familiar.

you stayed like that for a few moments, one arm wrapped around him, his head rested on your shoulders. you felt him melt into your touch so delightfully. you relished in that feeling before you spoke again.

"how about you get into some clean clothes and go lie down, yeah? that sound okay?" he nodded and slowly got up from the couch. as he got dressed, you got him a glass of water and a warmer blanket (seriously, his blanket looked terrible for this time of winter). he accepted both with a meek 'thank you', and you turned to leave, to let him rest.

he grabbed you by the arm and you froze in your spot.

"stay." he pleaded. when you turned around, his eyes were sparkling in the moonlight haze that was bleeding from his bedroom window, big and wide and brown and perfect. everything about him was so perfect.

"please." he begged again, that voice of his rich and sweet, like honey with chamomile tea. some part of you was unsure, but most of you was more than happy with his request.

you crawled into bed next to him, keeping eye contact the whole time. for the first time this night, he smiled. a soft, sleepy, honest smile. one you hadn't seen on him in quite a long time. you brushed his hair out of his face, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand. the gesture to you was small, but to him was the closest thing to an 'i love you' he had received since his parents died.

and then you kissed him.

the kiss was timid and shy, but the butterflies in mike's stomach grew nonetheless. he smiled into it, kissing you back with warm compassion and kindness. his hand found it's way to your waist, making the intimacy of the moment grow. in that moment you knew you were head over heels for mike schmidt. and in that moment, he knew the same. the kiss broke eventually and you both slept peacefully, like angels, wrapped in each others arms. you never wanted to let go, and neither did he.

[sarang-noori]

I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE

(A/n: Lil prompt i found, Calcharo has me on a choke hold.Literally. This is f!reader x calcharo....hope u enjoy this)

Calcharo the leader of the Ghost Hounds, a multinational mercenary group. I met Calcharo totally as an accident, him saving you from a group of exiles surrounding me, harassing for something i have even forgotten at this point.

Calcharo being a very stoic and 'no talk unless needed' kinda man was really hard to get along with at first. But i was adamant to befriend him. Showing up with him to businesses, trying to talk with him; those tactics eventually got through his hard shell.

The only way he decide to acknowledge my efforts was when i said i wanted to join hos group, he was strictly against that, saying "if you want protection i am here for that, i dont want you to join my group to have protection or to befriend me. If you want to become strong i'll teach u to become stronger, and i will befriend u if you want a friend. But i dont want you to be a mercenery just for those reasons, you have a bright future in front of you". Those were his words.

Its been quite sometime since that day, Chalcharo and i were closer than ever; he was still the grumpy, stoic man, and i was the same ball of sunshine. His group members were quite shocked at first when i was able to befriend the hot yet scary looking man. And seeing him laugh, left like was as if spring is here.

It was no news that slowly your feelings for him turned romantic. The way he protects me from harm, the way he looks after me, even when he scolds me when i did something stupid and put myself in harms way making him worry, or when i just did something cringey cute to make him laugh.

My little heart slowly started falling for the grumpy tacet holding man. So one day i decided to pick up the courage and just express my feelings, you entered their base greeting whoever greeted me until i reached Calcharo, sitting and doing some work, and hearing him sigh.

"Hey there big guy, whats wrong?" Saying as i placed my chin over his head while standing behind him. "Ughh its nothing just paperwork, whats up lil girl, what r u doing here today?" He said groaning and letting down his pen and taking a hold of my hand and pulling me beside him beside the desk, while keeping a hold on your hand.

"Well, i ...uh....i wanted to tell you something" you somehow managed to speak up, nerves getting a hold of you. "Are you okay?? Are you hurt? Is everything alright?" Calcharo immidiately stood up, alertness and worry visible in his eyes clearly, ready to destroy anything. "Am okk Cal, its not that serious, actually. Am good am great. Trust me." I said gripping his hands tighter in mine. "Okk then, go ahead and tell me what you have on your mind then".

"I have started to have feelings for you, its been some months since i started feeling this way, and you have been on my mind alwa - mmmph" before i could finish my speech of how i fell in love with him, soft pair of lips captured mine, making me stop mid way. "I'm so happy am not the only one" i heard Calcharo say in between the kiss, which turned more rushed and passionate as we both realised our mutual liking to each other.

His one hand grabbing on top my waist, the other on the back of my neck, my arms wrapped around his neck and fingers tangled in his beautiful long white hair. The kiss turned feverent, until we both ran out of breath, pulling away we placed our forheads together, panting yet smiling. Holding my face in his hands, he placed a tender kiss on top of my forehead. Doing the same thing, i placed a kiss on his forhead where his tacet mark lies.

"I was waiting for this for so long, from now on i will always keep you safe. No harm will ever come to you" he sealed his words with a kiss.

A/N: Anddddd were done with the story...its a bit weird probably cuzzzz its been so long since i wrote something and idk why but i cant make stories...like the brain juice is not working properly....and also i have exams from the 13th...which is really like after few days...its a pain. But i hope u enjoyed it....luv you byeee. Stay hydrated and happy reading♡♡

[calliesmemes]

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS (2012)

A SET OF SENTENCE STARTERS PULLED FROM THE DIALOGUE FEATURED IN DREAMWORKS’ ANIMATED FILM RISE OF THE GUARDIANS

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Why I am here and what I am meant to do, that I've never known. A part of me wonders if I ever will. ”

“   Oh, uh, excuse me. Can you tell me where I am? ”

“   How many times have I told you to knock? ”

“   We are going to have company. ”

“   It is our job to watch over the children of the world and keep them safe. ”

“   The children are in danger. ”

“   An enemy we have kept at bay for centuries has finally decided to strike back. ”

“   We alone can stop him. ”

“   I obviously wouldn't have called you all here unless it was serious. ”

“   Look, he's up to something very bad. I feel it in my belly. ”

“   I don't have time for this! ”

“   We have a serious situation. ”

“   It's been a long time, old friend. ”

“   Since when do we need help? ”

“   He doesn't care about children! ”

“   Oh, that looks interesting. Good book? ”

“   Come on! You guys will believe anything. ”

“   Okay, who threw that? ”

“   Did you guys see that? It was amazing! ”

“   What's a guy got to do to get a little attention around here? ”

“   But I can do it this time! ”

“   Straight to bed now, mister. ”

“   If there's something I'm doing wrong, can you just tell me what it is? ”

“   Why, there's only one thing missing. ”

“   Feel your fear. Come on. Come on, that's right. ”

“   Don't look at me like that, old friend. ”

“   You must have known this day would come. ”

“   You're not still mad about that, are you? ”

“   You got to be kidding me. ”

“   Oh, yeah, I love being shoved in a sack and tossed through a magic portal. ”

“  I've heard a lot about you. ”

“   Hey, ho, anyone want to tell me why I'm here? ”

“   I must've done something really bad to get you four together. ”

“   What are you doing? Get off of me! ”

“   What makes you think I want to be a Guardian? ”

“   This is all very flattering, but, uh, you don't want me. ”

“   I don't think you understand what it is we do. ”

“   All the more reason to pick someone more qualified. ”

“   You were chosen! Like we were all chosen. ”

“   You see, you cannot say no. It is destiny. ”

“   No, no. That's not for me! No offense. ”

“   None of them believe in you, do they? ”

“   It's like you don't even exist. ”

“   It's nothing personal. But what you all do, it's just not my thing. ”

“   You must have something very special inside yourself. ”

“   I told you I'm not going with you guys! ”

“   Hold on, everyone! I know a shortcut. ”

“   Oh, thank goodness. One of you is all right. ”

“   I have to say, this is very, very exciting. ”

“   I'm a little starstruck. ”

“   Maybe I want what you have. ”

“   Since when are you all so chummy? ”

“   Oh, good. A neutral party. ”

“   I'm going to ignore you. But you must be used to that by now. ”

“   You shadow-sneaking ratbag, come here! ”

“   Took me a while to perfect this little trick. ”

“   They smell fear, you know. ”

“   Such happy times for me. Oh, the power I wielded. ”

“   Oh, there's nothing to be afraid of. ”

“   They... They don't believe in me anymore. ”

“   There will be nothing but fear and darkness. ”

“   It's your turn not to be believed in. ”

“   You should have seen them. They put up such a fight. ”

“   When someone needs to remember what's important, we help them. ”

“   Are you saying I had a life before that, with a home and a family? ”

“   You really don't remember? ”

“   All these years, the answers were right here. ”

“   No such thing as too late! ”

“   Look, I'd tell you to stay out of my way, but, really, what's the point? ”

“   Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy there, champ. ”

“   Why did I ever stop doing this? ”

“   All right, nobody panic. ”

“   You know, for a neutral party, you spend an awful lot of time with those weirdos. ”

“   This isn’t your fight. ”

“   Remind me not to get on your bad side. ”

“   Don't fight the fear! ”

“   How did you do that? ”

“   Finally! Someone who knows how to have a little fun! ”

“   I just... I wish I could've done something. ”

“   I don't know who you were in your past life. ”

“   How can I know who I am until I find out who I was? ”

“   He's tipped the balance. ”

“   Crikey! Somebody do something. ”

“   When was the last time you guys actually hung out with kids? ”

“   How much time do we have? ”

“   All right, troops, it's time to push back. ”

“   Don't be afraid. I'm not gonna hurt you. ”

“   It's the one thing I always know. People's greatest fears. ”

“   Why were you chosen to be like this? ”

“   They'll never accept you. Not really. ”

“   You make a mess wherever you go. ”

“   You should be happy you still get dreams like that and not nightmares. ”

“   They never really believed in you. ”

“   All those years in the shadows I thought no one else knows what this feels like. But now I see I was wrong. ”

“   We don’t have to be alone. ”

“   Look at what we can do. ”

“   They'll fear both of us. And that's not what I want. ”

“   You have a bad habit of interfering. ”

“   You can't have fun all the time. ”

“   It's okay. It's okay. Don't look down. Just look at me. ”

“   I promise, I promise. You're gonna be... You're gonna be fine. You have to believe in me. ”

“   You and I are obviously at what they call a crossroads. ”

“   He told me you were real. Just when I started to think that maybe you weren't. ”

“   That little trick doesn't work on me anymore. ”

“   All this fuss over one little boy. ”

“   There are other ways to snuff out a light. ”

“   If you want him, you're gonna have to go through me. ”

“   I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see you all like this. ”

“   I'm just not afraid of you. ”

“   Mate, you are a sight for sore eyes. ”

“   You dare have fun in my presence ”

“   Leaving the party so soon? You didn't even say goodbye. ”

“   You can't get rid of me! Not forever. ”

“   There will always be fear. ”

“   It is time that you take the Oath. ”

[sports-on-sundays]

idk if you’re taking requests but could you do a fluff with rodrigo riquelme where him and the reader enjoy a rainy day indoors

rainy days / Rodrigo Riquelme

Summary: sunny!Rodrigo x girlfriend!cloudy!reader - A little bit of rain won't stop you and Rodri from having a fun day together. Fluff so sweet it might rot your teeth.

Warnings: thunder & lightning

Requested?: Frick yes!

Author's Note: My friend, I'm so happy someone requested for him that I probably actually blushed when I opened my inbox and saw this. I am your certified no. 1 Roro girlie, here at your service! 🫡

Just as you enter the living room where Rodrigo has been waiting for you for the last half hour to finish getting ready, it starts raining.

"Nooo!" you whine, your hands going to your face in dismay. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Rodrigo sets down his phone, frowning, looking out the window. "And it looks like it won't be stopping anytime soon... Look at all those dark clouds over there!" He leans back at an angle to get a better view.

You plop down next to him, crossing your arms, and murmur, "And I got all dressed, too, in this brand new dress. Now I have to go change, since we can't even go out..."

"Hey, wait," Rodrigo says, turning to look at you for the first time since you entered the room. "You don't have to go change. You look lovely in that dress."

"Don't be silly. It's a sundress. I'm not going to be wearing a bright yellow sunny sundress when it's pouring outside and we're stuck indoors!"

"Aw!" he grins, his eyes sincere. "Why not? I'm here, and I think you look adorable in it. I'm certainly impressed, even though you took an hour and a half getting ready."

"You sure?"

"Of course I am!" he laughs, pulling you into a hug, kissing your cheek, like he's snuggling with a teddy bear. "I'm so glad you decided to wear that dress, rain or shine!"

"Well..." you smile softly, blushing deeply. "I was hoping you'd think it's pretty."

"See?" he grins. "I do, so there's nothing to worry about. And I'm sure we can find plenty of fun things to do inside. Come on!" He grabs your hand, pulling you up to stand with him.

He leads you to the dining room, where he has your picnic blanket and lunches on the table. You click your tongue in disappointment. "We can't even have our picnic."

But Rodrigo looks at you with cheery eyes. "Sure we can!"

"Rodrigo, it's pouring!"

"We can have it inside!"

You frown, crossing your arms, and say bluntly, "That's stupid."

"No, it's not. Come on." He picks up the lunch and goes to the living room. He lays out the soft blanket on the floor and lays the food out. "No reason we can't have it right here. Here- and I'll open the windows, too, for some fresh air."

"Wait, no-" you suddenly say nervously, sitting down on the blanket.

He stops with his hand on the window's handle. "Why not?"

"I..." you hesitate, before continuing softly "What if it turns into a lightning storm...?"

Rodrigo smiles softly. "Then I'll close them. We'll be fine."

"You're sure?"

"One hundred percent," he chuckles, opening the windows. As he sits down next to you and begins taking out the food, you have to admit, the breeze does feel nice, and you like the sound of the rain outside.

So you sit together and eat your indoor picnic, and once you finish, Rodrigo lays down and pulls you down with him, murmuring, "Wanna just cuddle?"

"Sure," you chuckle. You have a very cuddly boyfriend.

So you just lay together, arms around each other. You rest your cheek against his chest as he runs his fingers through your hair, and you both stay silent, just contently listening to the pattering of the rain falling outside.

Suddenly, though, there's a loud crack of thunder, and you flinch, letting out a little squeal, and automatically take two fistfuls of the soft pullover sweatshirt Rodrigo is wearing.

He chuckles softly, leaning away a bit to look at you. "You scared?" he asks teasingly, but also softly.

"Can- Can you just close the windows please?"

He smiles and nods, before hopping up to do so. Once they're closed, he asks, "You're scared of thunderstorms?"

You pout a little, sitting up on the blanket. "Maybe."

"Aw," he grins. "Cutie."

You lick your lips, rolling your eyes, and cross your arms. "Whatever."

But suddenly, lightning flashes, and you jump again, biting your lip nervously, before tucking your knees to your chest and resting your face in your arms.

"Hey, hey," Rodrigo says gentler, sitting next to you. "It's okay..." He wraps his arms around you, which does add a lot of comfort. After a while of him just holding you, he says, "Hey, why don't we do something to get your mind off it? Why not play a board game or something?"

You swallow and nod, before clearing your throat and saying, "Alright. Sounds good to me."

He nods. "M'kay. You wait here; I'll be right back with a board game for us to play, yeah?"

You nod, and he's off. But only for a moment, because soon he's back with a Sorry! box in his hands. He sits down next to you, and you're just beginning to take the board out of the box when suddenly, there's another loud crack of thunder, and a second later, the room goes black.

"Rodri!" you gasp, clinging to him, burying your head in his chest.

He laughs softly and rubs your back. "It's okay. The electricity just went out, is all... There's nothing to be scared of... I'm right here..." he soothes gently.

The fact that Rodrigo knows you also have a fear of the dark- that's really not helping your situation. "But... what if... I don't know..." you sigh, leaning away. "How are you not scared?"

He shrugs with a little smile. "I like storms. And there really is nothing to be scared of. The chances of lightning hitting us is so incredibly low, there's no reason to worry."

"But..."

"Hey." He gently tilts your head up to meet his sincere eyes, which you can just barely see in the dark room, with the electricity now out. "Chin up, princess. Your crown is falling," he teases.

You sigh with a nervous smile and nod.

"And do I look scared?"

You frown. "No."

"Then there's no reason for you to be scared, either."

You pout. "That's not fair for you to say. You're, like, a footballer and travel and stuff. You do scary things all the time."

He grins. "Have I ever been killed playing football? Have I ever been killed flying in a plane or driving in a bus? Clearly not, because I'm sitting here right now looking at the most beautiful girl in the world. So what makes you think that we're going to get killed in a thunderstorm?"

You shrug with a more genuine smile. "Nothing."

His grin widens. "There you go. Besides, I think we're far too important to get killed in such a dumb way as getting struck by lightning. You know? I think we've got far more life to live than that."

Now you match his grin. "Alright, alright. You've won me over. Now, you're getting pretty obnoxious: just looking at me so cute, and not even kissing me or anything."

He giggles a bit and says, "Well, sorry!" before cupping your chin and leaning in for a kiss, spreading his sunny, cheery, happy-go-lucky aura around you, despite the rain and wind and thunder and lightning outside.

When he pulls away, you're about to lean in for more, but just then, he slaps his thighs and says, "Now, let me go get a candle, so we can get to playing Sorry!"

You smile softly as he walks off with a skip in his step.

Oh, Roro.

Soon, he's back with the candle. It takes him four tries and some taunting giggles from you until he's able to light the match and the candle before it going out first. When he finally does, he lets out a relieved sigh and says with a laugh, "Finally!"

"'Finally' is right! Rodrigo Riquelme, public enemy number one- when it comes to matches!"

He grins and nods, very, very, slowly and carefully setting the candle down next to the playing board, before you get playing.

You end of beating his socks off in Sorry!. "There!" you grin, setting your last piece in the 'home' tunnel. "Professional Hasbro Sorry! player right here! No, no, really, it's okay- I can give you my autograph!"

This, though it's not particularly hysterical, sends your boyfriend into a fit of laughing. He just tends to find you funnier than most people. One of his friends could say the exact same thing, and he might give a small chuckle.

And you laugh with him, because you love the sound of his laughter.

Finally, he begins cleaning up the board, a smile still lingering on his face, as he says, "Look at us. A pro footballer and a pro board game player. Power couple one hundred right here."

"You got that right," you chuckle, before a sudden, big yawn comes on you.

Rodrigo looks up with a little sparkle in his eyes. "You getting sleepy?" he asks as he closes up the Sorry! box.

You shrug, smiling back. "Dark, gloomy days make me more tired."

"Gloomy?" he asks, standing up. He holds his hand out to you, and pulls you up to stand as well. "I don't think this day has been gloomy at all."

"What do you mean? The weather is crap."

He sets the board game box on the end table by the couch, before coming back to you and linking his arms around your back, looking you straight in the eyes. "Gloomy is the last word I would use to describe seeing my gorgeous girlfriend in such a pretty dress," his voice softens, and so do his eyes as he continues, "It's the last word I'd choose for having a picnic with her- indoors or not, or getting to cuddle with her. I would never, ever say getting to joke around with you, and laugh with you, is gloomy. I think getting to spend time with you, playing a board game, is the exact opposite of gloomy, actually."

You grin and throw your arms around him. "I love you so much! You know that?"

He kisses your cheek with a loud 'mwah!' before promptly lifting you up and bringing you to the couch. "I love y-"

"Now what are we doing?"

"My goodness!" he laughs. "You don't even let me say it back!" he jokes as he lays down on the couch, letting you lay on top of him.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Say it back."

"I! Love! You!" he giggles, and in between each word pecks your lips. "Now, I think it's time for you to go to sleep, sleepyhead."

You smile, nuzzling into him. "Alright. I'm down for that."

"Good," he whispers with a content sigh, before his hands begin absently loosely braiding your hair.

Your eyes flutter closed, and just as you're drifting off to sleep, you feel a sleepy sigh from Rodrigo, and you're not sure if it's his voice really, or just a fragment of your sugar sweet dreams, but you perceive the soft whisper from Rodrigo murmuring, "Oh, Y/n. Whatever would I do without my Y/n?" and his soft lips kissing you goodnight.

[bansheeoftheforest]

Forever Aches [TKC Walt &/ Anubis]

This is the last oneshot in my backlog of stuff I have written and then couldn't be bothered to edit. I am not sure how Walt and Anubis managed to manifest into my brain so heavily but god damn.

This can be read both as a platonic and romantic fic!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wordcount: 3184 

Summary:  Walt is chronically ill, and life is agonizing, but Anubis is more than happy to help him pull through.

CW: Mentions and descriptions of chronic illness but nothing outside of what is standard for Walt.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Occasionally, life was agonizing.

  Walt had not been naive enough to think that his prolonged life would actively stop the curse which had burrowed into his soul. The damage was already done, to such an extent where he would live with the consequences for the rest of his life, even if it would not be the reason for his death... Hopefully.

  During his “good” days, his biggest struggle may be his joints. His muscles were weak and his joints ached with every movement, his spine creaked and the tension in his neck never seemed to disappear. On a “bad” day, it could manifest more mentally, a constant overwhelm caused by noise and light which made migraines flare up to the point where it felt like someone was taking an icepick to his head over and over. On an admittedly horrible day, the feeling of mostly imagined organ failure followed by stabbing pains left him able to do little else than curl up in bed, try not to vomit, and attempt to breathe. But he had lived most of his life like this, and he was used to it, and he was used to getting through it alone.

  Well... He wasn’t alone, now. Not anymore. 

  When they first met, and first started talking, Walt had assumed that Anubis’ worries were merely caused by a need to keep him alive for long enough to get him through the battle with Apep, as they needed as many magicians as possible on their side. Or perhaps he had assumed that the god’s worry came from the obvious advantage he had in the situation, as he might not have felt particularly keen on the idea of accepting a host who could keel over and die at any moment, but even after the serpent was defeated, and even after the curse got properly stabilized, it didn’t seem like the god really... Calmed. He still fretted, nagged at Walt to sit down, rest, drink water, eat- whatever it was that the god seemed convinced would help him in the moment. On rare occasions, Anubis would hold him and attempt to soothe his pains when it became too much for Walt to bear. He always seemed to be right by his side, always willing to do what he could to help. The more Walt thought about it, the more… Perhaps not weird, but unusual, it felt. After all, Anubis was a god, his god. It felt like the power dynamic should have been completely different, perhaps the god should be annoyed and indifferent to the weaknesses of his host, perhaps he should be regretting his offer to be hosted, and instead wish to have chosen a stronger, more capable vessel, but no. Anubis cared, and he cared a lot, always worried and doing his very best to make sure that Walt remained safe and healthy and taken care of, like a mother constantly worried for a sick child. Walt, to say the least, felt quite pampered. 

  Today, however, was one of those admittedly horrible days.

  He had felt it when he woke up. It was a few hours before his alarm would ring for him to get up and ready for school, but the aching in his joints pulled him out of his sleep. Nothing new, perhaps he simply slept in a bad position, he could pull through. 

  He got up and groaned. The window, which he always closed before turning in for the night, remained almost wide open. Cold, moist air always seemed to make his sickness flare up more, and so he made sure to close it properly before he trudged towards the bathroom, so as to not worsen how horrible he already felt. Perhaps he had been lucky that he had woken up a few hours early, perhaps he had time to take a nice, long bath and hope that it would soothe his joints. He turned the faucet on and let the tub fill while he brushed his teeth. The water felt scalding, but as he settled in the tub, he didn’t feel as swollen, a sigh of relief escaped his lips as he leaned his head back.

  He remained as such for an hour. He had almost fallen asleep, but had caught himself and hurried to get out of the water before his body could sink or the water could overflow. He knew he had death on his side, but he was not going to tempt fate by accidentally drowning himself, not today, at least. But the water had been marvelous and his body felt quite a lot better than before. Perhaps today wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

  Once he was wrapped snug in a towel or two, he returned to the bedroom, where his godly companion had appeared. Anubis sat on his bed, seemingly having waited for him. The way he perked up with such an obvious expression made Walt smile. It was like seeing a happy dog, minus the wagging tail. 

  “Good morning, bud.” Walt greeted, stretching slightly. Anubis merely looked at him for a moment, before he remembered that, in a conversation, it was polite to reply when spoken to. 

  “Good morning.” He continued to eye him, “how are you feeling?” 

  Walt moved towards the dresser, where he had folded and prepared some clothes for the day. At the question, he hummed slightly.

  “Better now, I think.”

  It was true, and he didn’t really have to say much more. However, he warned the god that he would be  getting dressed, and so Anubis politely averted his gaze. 

  “Do you think you will be able to go on with today, then?” Anubis asked, Walt could hear him fiddling with a bit of jewelry from behind him. “I do not wish for you to overexert yourself.”

  Walt, with only his boxers and a t-shirt on, moved towards the bed where Anubis sat. The weight-shift made the god look up as Walt began to fiddle with his knee braces. 

  “I’ll be fine,” He hummed, “I just have to be a bit careful.” 

  His fingers felt heavy and clumsy as he attempted to separate the velcro on the first brace, but he only had to struggle for a few seconds before Anubis reached his hand out. Walt looked up, Anubis seemed to be silently asking for permission, to which the mortal nodded. 

  The god grabbed both braces and moved off of the bed, instead placing himself upon his knees in front of his host. Had it been a little later in the day, and had Walt’s energy been better, he might have made a joke about the position, what else the god had been on his knees for, or if he shouldn’t be the one kneeling for the god, but he decided to not bother the caretaker. Slender fingers easily separated the velcro, gentle hands moved his leg to position it against the god’s own knees, careful movements encased the aching knee within the brace. The movements repeated on the other leg, until both knees were braced and protected.

  Anubis got up, ignored Walt’s ‘thank you’, and grabbed the elbow braces which were a bit further away from the two of them. Walt laughed slightly. 

  “Now you’re overdoing it,” Walt couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s worry, “my arms are fine.” 

  Anubis stopped, and squinted.

  “They will not be if you do not protect them.” 

  Walt should know better, but he knew that there was no use trying to argue with a god like Anubis, as it seemed that he had said his final word on the matter. The god separated the velcro on the braces like before, and equally gentle hands grabbed Walt’s arm and positioned them, before he began to properly put them on. Walt merely sighed dramatically and gave up, letting the god have his way. He was done in only a few moments, repeating the same movements on the other arm until all limbs were protected, but then moved from Walt’s side until he was standing in front of him again, gently cupping the back of the mortal’s head and pushing him forward. The top of his head rested against Anubis’ torso, much to Walt’s confusion.

  “What are you-” 

  His question was cut off as the long fingers pushed into the muscles on his neck and shoulders, making him wince and breathe in sharply. Anubis, aware that the pain would make him feel better, simply continued. His anatomical skills and time spent in Walt’s body meant he knew almost exactly where it would or could hurt later, and so he spent especially long time getting those muscles warmed up and tender to remove the tension, ignoring Walt’s warm breath against his stomach and the noises he let out. By the time that Anubis was done, Walt’s brain was little less than scrambled eggs, his vision was foggy, and the room felt like it would begin to spin. Anubis simply let the mortal’s head move up into the correct position before he came closer, standing between Walt’s legs so that his torso once more became the perfect resting place for the other’s head, as he attempted to breathe through the disorientation. Thin fingers moved over his scalp, through his short hair, grounding him further. It took merely a few moments before Walt had pulled himself together. 

  “...Thank you.” 

  Walt’s breathless gratitude got Anubis to smile gently, even if the magician could not see it from this position. 

  “Of course.” 

  Once the room stopped spinning and his vision became clear, Walt straightened his back and the god moved away from him. The magician took a deep breath before he stood properly, although Anubis was quick to be back by his side when his legs began to wobble. An apologetic smile, and a reassuring one from the god, as Walt resumed getting properly dressed. He opted for a pair of sweatpants today, which wasn’t really his style, but the best option for a day such as today.

  His alarm rang, startling both of them. The realization of the cause got them both to sigh with near-relief, before Walt turned it off. 

  “What do you say about some breakfast, bud?” 

  Anubis wanted to roll his eyes, even though he had gotten quite used to that nickname. It was endearing, at the very least. But he- of course, already prepared for the day- nodded. Walt’s backpack was packed and placed by his bedroom door, next to his shoes. As the teen bent down to put them on, the god had to bite his tongue to not be overbearing and attempt to help, always worried for his host. But Walt managed fine, and with his bag over his shoulders, opened the bedroom door. 

  They ventured down into the Great Room, where a few of the school-goers were already gathering. It was a mere hour or two before they had to leave, and so they had time. They moved towards the kitchen area, which was currently empty, and Walt quickly scanned the fridge for one of his already-prepared sandwiches while Anubis put on the kettle to prepare tea for the two of them. Something herbal, probably. 

  The mortal, not knowing for how long his body would work and allow him to eat, sat down by the small, round table in the kitchen and began to eat immediately, soon joined by Anubis as the water had boiled and tea was prepared in two cups. Walt wasn’t really a tea-drinker, but he was not going to deny that teas and other warm liquids helped when his body was at its worst. He guessed that it was only a matter of time before Anubis would get properly mom-y and attempt to make soup for him, too. That thought was quite endearing. 

  Anubis’ ears flickered, alerting them both of the arrival of someone new in the kitchen space. Walt smiled gently as he watched Carter Kane, seemingly still half-asleep, trudge into the room with dragging feet. 

  “Morn.” The pharaoh yawned, although he, like Walt, quickly moved towards the fridge. 

  After he had found an item of interest, he moved towards their table and took the third chair in between the other two, Anubis unconsciously scooted further away from the former host of Horus. Carter, however, didn’t notice, and simply uncapped his yogurt and swirled it with the plastic spoon as he focused on Walt, noticing the elbow braces. 

  “Oh, bad day?” 

  Walt shook his head. 

  “No, not really.” He gestured towards Anubis, who observed them intently. “But he insisted.” 

  Carter grimaced.

  “Well, take it easy, then.” The pharaoh said, although he couldn’t help but mumble ‘I don’t like when he gets gut feelings like that...’

  Anubis gave the Kane an unreadable expression, but Walt smiled reassuringly at his friend. 

  “Don’t worry, I will.” 

  Carter nodded, and the remainder of the breakfast was eaten in silence.

  Time passed quickly, and before they knew it, it was time to leave. Once Carter had left the room and the two of them were alone, Anubis let his form shift into Walt’s, until they were reunited in body and soul once more. The magician let out a sigh of relief, like a burden had been lifted off of his shoulders, before he left with the rest.

  ...

Safe to say, by the time the last bell had rung and Walt had been on his way back to the Brooklyn House, he felt absolutely miserable. 

  Despite the braces, his joints ached, his muscles tensed and pulled and felt like they tore for every movement he made, his migraine had flared up, and he knew that the stabbing pains would soon return if he didn’t hurry to bed. The journey home had been agonizing, but he was back at the Brooklyn House, moments away from salvation. 

  He found his way back to his room eventually, where he immediately turned off the lights, kicked off his shoes, and practically fell into the bed, braces and clothes and all still on. He attempted to steady his breathing, but every inhale sent another stab throughout his already abused muscles, he could do little else but to curl up and attempt to get through the pain. 

  He felt Anubis’ form leave his, but he was thankful that it didn’t seem to worsen the pain. He heard the god’s footsteps going through the room, the blinds were shut and he heard various appliances being unplugged, even the electronic static could occasionally worsen his overwhelm and migraines. Finally, the room got even darker, but Walt didn’t open his eyes, not even as Anubis carefully sat down next to him on his bed. 

  The god continued to stay silent, not wishing to worsen his host’s headache. During the time they had known each other, they had gone through situations like these more than once, enough times that Anubis knew almost exactly what to do to make Walt feel better, even if it was not much, even if he wished he could do more. Pale hands moved over Walt’s form, not daring to touch, but gentle energy seeped through the palms and into the other, like balm massaged into his body. For a moment, it was like the easiest knots in his muscles were untied and untangled, leaving him with momentary relief and deep breaths of ease, as Anubis moved his hands over his shoulders, down his torso, his arms, his stomach, hips, and down his legs. Finally, the god moved back up towards Walt’s head, letting the soft chill ease the headache which tormented him. 

  The hardest pains still remained, those no healer could ever heal or ever remove, but the smaller torments were eased and didn’t feel as catastrophic or overwhelming as before. Anubis went off of the bed and observed his host for a moment. This is where his help would normally end, where Walt would feel that this was enough and request to be left alone, and where Anubis would disappear somewhere else, but he couldn’t help but worry. Walt, eased of pain and alone in the bed, allowed himself to uncurl, and lay on his back instead. His body felt heavy, and he did not want to risk the feeling of being crushed by his own bodyweight. Yet, as Anubis prepared to leave, he couldn’t help but wish to not be… Alone. 

  “... Anubis?” 

  The soft voice of the other immediately pulled Anubis’ attention back to him, who looked at him intently. Walt did what he could to look at the other, and made sure he was still there with him.

  “Yes?” 

  “Could you… Stay, a bit?” 

  His ears flickered, eyes widened. For a moment he couldn’t process his host’s request, yet he soon realized what he was being asked.

  “Oh. Oh, of course.” He hesitated again, “where… Where would you want me?” 

  Walt considered it for a moment, but the words became hard to say, and so he simply patted the spot next to him on the bed. Anubis, however, seemed to understand his request. He let his form shift into that of his canine counterpart, the black jackal, before his soft paws climbed onto the bed, and he settled next to Walt. More hesitance, before he carefully placed his head against Walt’s chest, so that he could hear his gentle heartbeat. Walt did not seem pained by the weight, instead another soft sigh escaped as his fingers moved towards Anubis’ head, settling between his ears, letting the thick fur move between them. The jackal could not help but to let out a soft whimper, a gentle sound of worry, of helplessness. 

  It was devotion, no doubt about it. Walt Stone had the god of death wrapped around his finger through nothing but devotion and loyalty. At the end of the day, Anubis was little more than a forever grieving dog. Neither were sure how they had ended up like this, but neither could remember a time before; a time where they both were alone and plagued by themselves, in their own ways. Anubis would stay by Walt’s side until the day he died, and perhaps longer. 

  “I can practically feel the cogs in your head, bud.” Walt’s thick finger pressed between the dog’s eyes, bringing the pathetic thing out of his thoughts. “I am not going anywhere.” 

  The canine’s tail flickered, but the soft laugh in Walt’s voice calmed him, soothed him. He lowered his head against his host’s body once more, golden eyes peering at the other. Walt looked back at him, small smile still upon his lips. 

  “You’re a good friend, y’know?” Walt ruffled Anubis’ fur, “Thank you.”

  It would have been hard to tell if the canine was listening, eyes large and glistening, had it not been for the thumpthumpthump of his tail against the mattress. That was enough for Walt, honestly. He needed little else as they both settled, as the canine calmed and as Walt managed to distract himself from the pain, just enough to rest.

  Yes, life is agonizing, cruel, unjust, unfair... But at least Walt could be happy, knowing he had Anubis by his side. 

---------------------------------- Please support this on AO3 too! :D https://archiveofourown.org/works/60295000 ----------------------------------

[queenofthekings]

𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗, 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖎𝖎 (𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊)

Summary: Hawkins, Indiana, 1986. A dead end town where nothing happens. One night, Eddie Munson goes missing without a trace. He turns up two weeks later on your doorstep, covered in blood and no memory of the last two weeks. When you notice him acting strangely, you follow Eddie into the woods and discover his terrifying secret. But the most terrifying part to you? You can't bring yourself to stay away from Eddie. Whether you've realised you're in love with him or you're under his spell, you don't want to be away from Eddie for a single second and a deadly love affair begins.

Author's note: I have no words to describe how thankful I am to everyone who read the first part and loved it! I was so worried that the hype around vampire!Eddie was long dead but thank you all so much for reading! Also bonus cookies to anyone who can name the song Reader listens to while walking into school; the only hint I can give you guys is that it's a British band's debut song 😉

CW: 18+, swearing, character death, sex references, potential smut in later chapters, vampire!Eddie, blood, scenes that people may find disturbing.

Word count: 4.6k

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

6:15AM came along again, reminding you that yes, indeed, you did have to go to school. Tumbling out of bed, you yawned as you looked at your wardrobe, your still mostly asleep brain trying to work out what to wear. You ended up picking out an old Star Wars t-shirt of your brother’s and a pair of blue jeans, almost falling over as you got into them.

Note to self, don't drink on a school night.

You weren’t entirely sure if you were still drunk, overly tired, or just massively hungover, the world didn’t quite feel real and tangible as if you were drunk but you didn’t remember drinking that much last night with Eddie. Come to think of it, you didn’t entirely remember how you got home.

Almost stumbling into the bathroom, you opened the cabinet and grabbed some Tylenol before making your way downstairs, picking up some sunglasses on the way. You tried your best to get to the sink undetected to swallow the pills but was caught by Jamie.

“My god, she awakens. We thought you were a goner last night.” He smirked into his coffee mug.

You glared at him through your sunglasses. “I’m fine.”

He nodded, finishing his mug, and placing it into the sink. “Mhm. Is that why you’re wearing sunglasses when it’s March?”

“Just take me to school, you ass.”

Jamie chuckled as both of you walked out to the car and drove to school. During the drive, you leaned over and turned up the stereo as loud as it could go, joining your brother in shouting the lyrics to West End Girls. While the music and the shouting making your head spin, getting to spend quality time with your brother was worth getting a migraine over.

Once the song was over, Jamie turned down the stereo. “I suppose we should talk about what happened last night.”

Sinking back in your chair, you shrugged. “I suppose so. I guess that’s why Stephen was a no show this morning.”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “We talked a little this morning before he left, you’re not grounded, and he’ll properly talk to you when you get home. There’s no excuse for what he said to you, but he does want to apologize.”

Nodding silently, you pursed your lips together, unsure of how to respond. “So, I guess this isn’t the time to tell him I have a date on tonight.”

“Munson finally stepped up?”

“How’d you know it was with Eddie?”

Jamie smiled as he turned into the parking lot. “I’m your older brother, I notice everything.”

You smiled too, blushing a little. “So, do you approve?”

He turned the car off and turned to you. “More important question; are you happy?”

With the smile still on your face, you nodded. “I’m very happy.”

“Then that’s all that matters, as long as you’re happy and he treats you right, I don't care.”

You fist bumped your brother before you hopped out of the car, the sudden jolt instantly beginning your headache. Shoving on your headphones and pressing play on your Walkman, you tried to ignore the pounding inside your head, mentally making a note to talk to the nurse during periods.

As you walked into school, you felt your headphones being taken off your head. Turning around, you almost slapped whoever had done it but stopped yourself when you saw it was Eddie, grinning from ear to ear as he lowered the headphones. “You’re really hellbent on dropping that good girl persona, listening to a song about sex on school grounds. I should tell the principal.”

Taking back your headphones, you paused the song. “You tell the principal and I’m cancelling our date.”

“You’re still grounded?”

You smirked, biting your bottom lip. “Nope.”

“So, we’re still on for tonight?”

“Of course, I would’ve gone even if I was still grounded.” You were about to turn towards your locker when Eddie held your hand and kissed it, causing you to frown. “Why not give me a proper kiss?”

“Because, Juliet, I want to be a gentleman and wait until the first date.”

“Romeo wasn’t a gentleman.”

“Oh? You don’t want me to be a gentleman? You’d rather have me take you somewhere quiet and make you cum just by using my fingers?”

You blushed darkly, instantly feeling your desire for him rise within you as you imagined the scene. “Yeah, of course.”

“Not gonna happen yet, Juliet. You can get excited thinking about it until Friday,” he gave your ass a playful smack before walking away, the shit eating grin still present on his face.

“I’m going to kill you, Munson!”

While you weren’t a virgin by any means, you didn’t sleep around or have any friends with benefits. You had lost your virginity during a drunken one-night stand with one of Stephen’s co-workers at a New Year’s Eve party that year. It wasn't until after you two hooked up that he might’ve been… married. Your intention wasn’t to become his mistress or even see him again, you just wanted to lose your virginity and get it over with.

Even though your friends were all deemed “losers” and “freaks”, you couldn’t help but have the terrifying feeling of being left behind wash over you. You saw your classmates having relationships and going to parties, and while you crashed said parties; you wanted the life they had. And you certainly didn’t want to be the shy virgin when you went to college, you wanted to get out all the teenage hormones out of your system before you could call yourself an adult.

By the time lunch rolled around, you wished you were back in bed and sleeping, the pain killers you’d gotten around an hour beforehand hadn’t kicked in just yet and you felt worse than you did when you woke up. If you hadn’t felt better after lunch, you planned on going back to the nurse to get more pain killers.

You were quiet at the table, completely zoning out as the boys chatted happily. Eddie subtly gave your thigh a squeeze, causing you to look over at him. He gave you a slight nod, silently asking if you were okay. You gave him a small smile and nodded in return before getting up from the table, announcing you were going to get a soda.

After paying for your soda and opening the bottle, you made your way back to the table, humming a tune to yourself as you tapped the bottle. Just as you were inches from the table, Jason Carver and his cult of goons stepped in front of you, halting you instantly.

“Hey Y/N, I heard you and the Munson freak have a date tonight-” he started, a sly smirk spreading across his face.

Shaking your head, you interrupted him. “Jason, I have a splitting headache and I’m really not in the mood for your profession of love, so if you’d kindly let me get back to my table, I’d appreciate it.”

Jason laughed loudly, snatching the soda from you. “Oh, I’m not here for that. The boys and I just wanted to make sure you looked the part for your little date.”

You frowned, confused at what he meant but just as you were about to ask for clarification, the entire group emptied soda bottles, milk and juice cartons and water bottles onto your head, soaking you instantly.

Your bottom lip trembled as you heard the whole cafeteria erupt into laughter, everyone except Eddie who angrily got up from the table. “Hey Jason!” Eddie announced, waiting for Jason to turn around before punching him square in the face, causing Jason to fall to the cafeteria floor and the room to fall silent. “Stay the fuck away from her.”

Jason glared at Eddie, a bruise, and a large amount of swelling already starting to form on his face. “What the fuck did you just say to me, freak?”

Eddie’s fist clenched, getting himself ready for another punch. “I said, stay the fuck away from her, maybe you need your hearing tested.”

Jason didn't appreciate his attempt at sarcasm and began beating Eddie repeatedly and hard, everyone beginning to gather around the pair, chanting “fight fight fight fight”. Realising how dangerous the situation had become, you desperately tried to break up the fight but got elbowed hard in the face, either by Eddie or Jason, it happened too fast to figure out which.

Taken aback by shock, you walked backwards to try to get into the crowd, not noticing the blood dripping from your nose and down your face, onto your shirt. Instead of being let into the crowd, someone shoved you forwards, back into the fight. Wiping away the blood, you tried one more time to rip the boys apart, screaming at them to stop. You felt yourself being pulled down to the floor, the back of your head hitting the floor and then it all went black.

The fight was broken up soon after, with Jason and Eddie being forced into the principal’s office and you being carried into the nurse’s office. The crowd dispersed and the only thing on everyone’s mind was the fight that had just happened. Already, rumours were beginning to spread.

In the nurse’s office, you had finally regained consciousness, albeit you struggled to remember what exactly happened and insisted you were fine, and you just tripped. It wasn’t until Gareth gently broke to you that you’d been repeatedly hit in the face and your head struck the cafeteria floor, causing you to blackout.

He pressed an icepack to the back of your head, causing you to wince a little. “I need you to keep this on your head and get some rest.” You started to move your head to nod, but Gareth stopped you, moving your left hand to hold the icepack. “Don't move your head too much.”

Sighing, you pressed on the icepack, slowly raising your head to look at him. “Where’s Eddie?”

“Still with Principal Coleman.”

“Am I in trouble?”

Gareth shook his head, smiling slightly. “Nah, basically everyone can vouch for you that you tried to stop the fight, Jason initiated it, and Eddie threw the first punch.”

The thought of Eddie punching Jason because he was protecting and defending you made you feel a warm glow in the pit of your stomach and the ghost of a smile came across your face, but it slowly faded once you felt the pain set in from your swollen face.

“I’m gonna have to go back to class.” He announced, walking towards the door before turning to the nurse. “Is she gonna be okay?”

The nurse nodded, giving Gareth a gentle smile. “She’ll be fine, thank you for staying with her. She’s lucky to have you as a friend.”

Gareth gave you one last smile before leaving the office just as the bell rang, the annoying noise ringing in your head and bringing back your headache. The nurse noticed your discomfort, handing you a glass of water with some pain killers before leaving the room. Closing the door behind her, she was faced with Eddie.

“How is she?” He asked, nervously tapping his fingers against his leg.

“She has a mild concussion, a black eye, and a bloody nose. She’s lucky she didn't break something or crack her skull open. You boys need to stop playing roughly, someone’s gonna get hurt.”

“Is she going to hospital?”

The nurse shook her head. “No, we’ll keep an eye on her for the next few hours to see if she gets worse, but it doesn’t look like she'll need to go. You can go in and see her if you want.”

Eddie gave the nurse a nod before slowly walking into the office and closing the door behind him. He pulled back the curtain to see you sat on the bed, one hand for biting your nails and the other holding an icepack to the back of your head and staring at the floor. It wasn’t until you looked up that he saw how badly your face had taken the beating.

Honestly, you looked like shit.

Your right eye was so swollen, the eye itself could barely open, you had blood covered tissues shoved up your nose to stop the blood from dripping down your face and onto your t-shirt, although there already was a trail of blood covering the once pristine white shirt.

He kneeled in front of you, reaching out to touch your cheek but hesitantly stopped once he realised it would hurt you. “How’re you feeling, Juliet?”

A ghost of a smile came across your lips. “Like a peach. A very bruised peach.”

“I brought you something,” Eddie handed you a Hellfire Club shirt. He saw your eyes sparkling but cut you off to answer the question you were going to ask. “I was going to give it to you tonight, but I figured you wouldn’t wanna stay in a blood-stained shirt for the rest of school.”

“You still wanna go on that date when I look like shit?”

He frowned as he got up to sit next to you. “Of course I still wanna go, and I think you look like a badass with your black eye.”

Holding the shirt close, you subconsciously stroked the soft fabric. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

While Eddie didn't look as bad as you did, he still had bruises all over his face and his clothes were dishevelled. If you weren’t in so much pain, you would've kissed him. Instead, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Sweetheart, you should've seen Jason.”

“Did you kick his ass?”

“Of course, bastard deserved it. Only got a week’s internal suspension for it, too.”

You raised your eyebrow. “A week’s internal suspension? Honestly, I was expecting worse. Like expulsion.”

He almost laughed at that, shaking his head. “Nah, you’re gonna be stuck with me for a long time, Juliet.”

Smiling, you nudged him with your elbow. “Wouldn’t have it any other way. Now piss off while I get changed.”

Pushing himself off the bed, he chuckled a little before turning back towards you, kissing the back of your hand. “I’ll come pick you up at about 7, Juliet. Don't keep me waiting.”

Blushing darkly, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “No promises, Romeo.” You both smiled at each other shyly before he left the room, allowing you to get changed in privacy.

After changing, you sat back down on the bed, pressing the mostly melted icepack to your head and waited for the nurse to return. After almost half an hour, she returned to perform a check-up on you. It was decided that you would be picked up by Jamie and taken home, allowing you to rest for the weekend. When you were given your backpack back, you were also handed a note to give to teachers if you had any homework, allowing you not to do it.

When Jamie came to pick you up, you didn’t say a word and sat in the back of the car, putting your headphones on, and stared out the window. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about what had happened, you knew you would get blamed for trying to stop the fight and for getting hurt.

While you knew Jamie would never blame you for trying to do the right thing, you were just tired of the day and all you wanted was to get back into bed for a few hours and then have your date with Eddie.

Arriving home, Jamie helped you up the stairs and to bed, taking off your shoes and pulling the curtains to allow you to sleep without being interrupted. While you didn’t exactly sleep, you did enjoy being in bed during a school day and listening to the birds singing, and of course, knowing you had a whole weekend of no homework to look forward to.

At 6 on the dot, you slowly rose out of bed and bit your bottom lip as you thought of Eddie showing up at your front door, giving you that smile that made your knees weak and finally kissing you. Call Me by Blondie on your boombox, you carefully selected your outfit for the date. A simple white dress, light grey knee-high socks and your tried and tested denim jacket.

You looked at the outfit on your bed before going for a shower, being careful to go gentle on your scalp when you washed your hair. Once coming out of the shower, you checked the time. 6:23. Plenty of time.

Brushing your hair as gently as you could, you tied it up into braids to dry before getting dressed and sitting down at your dressing table. You gently began patting foundation and blush on your face to try to hide most of the bruising without looking like a bad circus clown, eventually giving up and accepting that you were going to look like the poster child for abuse for the evening, no matter what you did.

You took your hair out of the braids and looked at yourself in the mirror; your hair had curled a little but no matter how good your hair looked; you knew the only thing people would see was how badly your face was beaten up.

Sighing, you forced your feet into a pair of heeled boots, also grabbing your purse and jacket before leaving the room. Walking to the stairs and sitting down on the middle step, you stared at the front door and began waiting for Eddie to pick you up. You checked your watch; 6:59PM, he should be there any minute.

Only he never came.

Friday evening came and went. So did Saturday. And Sunday. Then it was Monday.

Still no sign of Eddie.

Walking into school on Monday, you looked everywhere for him but still nothing. It was almost as if he’d disappeared into a puff of smoke overnight, leaving nothing but a lot of unanswered questions. Eddie would sometimes spend the odd weekend in the city and not come back until Monday morning and spend the day hungover.

But he’d always say beforehand, and he never broke a promise he made to you.

Somewhere deep inside your stomach, you knew something was very wrong.

Once lunch rolled around, you made your way to the Hellfire table, instantly noticing Eddie’s empty seat. “Have you guys heard from Eddie?”

Gareth shook his head and replied through a mouthful of a BLT sandwich. “Nope, not since the last session on Friday. He said he was gonna go meet up with you before leaving and then he just never turned up for practice on Saturday.”

Frowning, you sat beside him. “Have you tried calling?”

Jeff nodded. “First thing we did when he didn’t show up to practice. His uncle picked up, but he didn't know where Eddie was either, assumed he was around yours.”

“Nobody’s thought to call the cops?”

Gareth's eyebrows raised so high, they almost looked look like they were going to go all the way into his hairline. “Dude are you crazy? Cops are gonna look through his stuff and instantly see his stash, then they won’t want to find a missing person, they'll be looking for someone to arrest.”

You leaned back in your chair, cursing loudly. Why the hell didn’t you think of that? Sighing, you pursed your lips together. “So do we just wait until he turns up?”

Everyone shrugged their shoulders, Jeff speaking up after a pregnant pause. “There isn’t much we can do, he’s a legal adult, he can come and go as he pleases.”

Bouncing your leg under the table, you shook your head before getting up from the table and disappearing into the school crowds. Using your doctor’s note, you stayed in the library for the rest of the day, knowing you were far too anxious to go to class and learn anything. You stayed in the library all day Tuesday, too, trying to distract yourself with whatever garbage novel you could find although nothing seemed to work.

Arriving to school on Wednesday morning, you jogged towards Dustin and Mike. “Dustin!”

Dustin turned to you, giving you a wide smile. "Hey Y/N, what's up?"

“You haven’t heard anything from Eddie, have you? Nobody else has heard from him since Friday.”

“He’s not with you?” Mike asked slowly, the cogs slowly turning in his head that perhaps Eddie wasn’t just crashing with you the whole time as he’d suspected.

You slowly shook your head. “I haven’t seen him all week.”

In unison, the three of you turned to look into the parking lot, noticing a cop car pull in as you all felt a sinking feeling in your stomachs. Eddie going missing wasn’t just him playing hooky anymore and everyone guessing and asking where he was, he was now deemed a missing person and the cops were going to be looking for him.

The cops interviewed every single member of Hellfire and eventually asked for you. You were pulled out of English class and taken into the cafeteria for questioning, already knowing how the cops were going to play it; Eddie was a runaway, and you knew where he was, you just wasn’t going to tell anyone.

“We’ve heard from friends of both yourself and Mr. Munson’s that he was on his way to see you on Friday.”

You nodded, trying to stop the constant anxiety. “Yes, we were going to go on a date.”

“What happened on that date?”

“Nothing… he never turned up.”

“Do you have people who can back you up on that statement?”

“Yes, my older brothers were home.”

One of the cops was asking all the questions, while the other was writing everything down in a notebook, not holding any interaction with you other than nodding. The one who asked the questions noticed the slight bruising around your face. “Did Eddie do that?”

“No, it was Jason Carver. Him and his group of friends poured soda cans over my head and Eddie beat him up for me. I tried to stop the fight and got hurt in the process.”

“You think Eddie ran away to get out of trouble for the fight?”

You frowned, shaking your head. “No, Eddie and Jason got internal suspensions for a week. Eddie wouldn’t have runaway over that.”

“When was the last time you saw Eddie?”

“At school. He came into the nurse’s office to make sure I was okay, and he said he’d pick me up at 7 from my place for our date. I know he had a D&D session after school and I’m assuming he went to that, but I didn’t see him after we met in the nurse’s office as I went home early.”

The cop who was writing finally spoke up after writing for a few seconds, nodding his head while you answered the question. “Do you have any idea where Eddie might be?”

Biting your bottom lip, you tried to keep your breath steady and not get upset. “I don’t know where he is. All I want is for him to come home.”

You were asked a couple more questions before you were dismissed, going back to classes, and trying your best to not make it obvious that you were crying. When the end of the school day came, Stephen was there to pick you up. Once he saw how upset you were, he hugged you tightly, pressing a kiss to the side of your head and took you home, never once questioning you.

Once you were home, you instantly went to your room and locked the door, the only sounds coming from your room was Always on My Mind by Elvis on a loop.

For the rest of the week, you barely talked to anyone and when you weren’t at school or helping with the nightly search parties, you were locked away in your room. You hated herself for completely falling apart without Eddie, and you felt pathetic for being unable to function when he was probably just off somewhere having an adventure.

But something deep inside of you was screaming at you that something bad had happened to Eddie, but you couldn’t put into words what had happened or to not sound completely unhinged.

In your room, you kept one of Eddie’s missing posters under your pillow after remembering what your mother used to say to you; if you want your wish to come true, write it down on a piece of paper and put it under your pillow then you can dream about making it a reality.

It was massively childish but in that time, you needed something comforting.

Pulling out the poster, you stroked Eddie’s picture with your finger, your bottom lip trembling as if you were about to cry. “Eddie where are you?” you whispered. “I forgive you for standing me up, just please come home.”

Jamie softly knocked on your door, you slowly unlocked the door and letting him in. “I thought you might want some dinner,” he smiled gently, holding up a Burger King bag. You smiled sadly back, sitting back on your bed with a heavy sigh. He sat the bag down on your dressing table before kneeling in front of you. “We’ll find him, I promise.”

You shook your head slightly, sniffling as you brushed away a tear. “He was there and then he wasn’t, like I blinked, and he was gone. I feel like I’m moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast and I just wanna go back to when all of this shit hadn’t happened. And there’s all this pressure like everyone is hovering around me waiting for me to do something and I can’t do a fucking thing.”

There was a pause before you continued.

“Something awful happened to him, Jamie. I just know it; I feel it in my soul. But I can't make anyone listen to me.”

He took your hands, gently squeezing them. “Whatever’s happened, we’ll find him. Now will you please eat something? Your burger’s getting cold.”

You sighed, nodding, and grabbing the bag. You didn’t entirely want to eat, but you knew you had to eat something, even if it was just a couple of fries and a few bites of your burger.

By the time the two-week mark of Eddie’s disappearance had rolled around, your anxiety had reached breaking point. You couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, all you could think about was where Eddie could be.

Late Sunday night, you were awake and staring up at the ceiling, going over your last conversation for the ten thousandth time, debating in your head if there was some hidden message you’d missed but found nothing. Sighing, you sat up to take a drink, only to see your glass was empty. Rolling your eyes, you slid out of bed and dragged yourself downstairs.

Filling up your glass, you took a long drink before filling it up once again. Then you felt a strange feeling, something inside of you was telling you to go to the front door. You tried to brush off the thought by going towards the stairs, but the feeling only seemed to get more intense the closer you got to the front door.

Rolling your eyes to yourself, you carefully placed your glass on the stairs and walked towards the door. All you were going to do was open the door and prove to your silly sleep deprived brain that there was nothing there. Opening the door, your heart almost dropped out of your chest. Standing there, covered in blood and torn clothes; was Eddie.

[mytheoristavenue]

Day 9: Zoro + Santa Dress up

Summary: While cleaning up the aftermath of a grueling battle, to break an infamous pirate's hold on an innocent village, you notice that the local children are in low spirits for the upcoming holiday. To remedy, you call upon your best friend for a favor.

Warnings: Pure fluff, brief mentions of oppression/abuse

"C'mon Zoro, please?" You begged, trying to yank on the mans wrist, as if you could budge him.

"No," he pretested, dead weighting behind the corner of the wall. "This is stupid, I helped my the damn toys, why do I have to dress up?"

"We've been over this!" you sighed exaggeratedly. "It has to be a big guy and Franky's too big!"

"No excuse," he insisted, slipping his hand out of your grasp. "Luffy coulda done it. He's practically a balloon, and he's a lot jollier than I am."

"Luffy's too hyper!" you countered, glancing around the village square, catching a glimpse of said captain laughing his ass off and chasing children around like they owed him money.

"Usopp, then- or even Chopper from Christ's sake. Anyone but me." he dug his heels into the mud, physically and metaphorically. You pouted, crossing your arms and turning away from him.

"Zoro, look at me." you huffed, stomping a jingling foot. "I look like a (y/h) foot piece of holly, smothered with glitter and bells." Unbeknownst to you, Zoro was entirely aware of how you looked in your little elf costume. Everyone else had either dressed as elves or reindeers, and you'd appointed yourself as head elf- Santa's right hand, considering this whole thing was your idea. "You're covered head to toe in comfy velvet and fur, you're by far the most comfortable person here."

"(Y/N)..." he tried to whine, no longer finding holes to poke into your argument.

"Not another word, mosshead! You're gonna shut your mouth, go out there, sit those kids on your laugh and make them smile while me and Nami pass out presents, got it?" he hung his head in shamed, grumbling as he adjusted his hat and beard.

"But this beard itches!" he tried one last time.

"You owed me a favor!" you shouted one last time, finally defeating his will to complain.

"I said-" a fake chipper female voice repeated. "With out further ado, Santa Clause!" With a final push, Zoro stumbled out to greet the crowd, standing there like a deer in headlights for a moment before placing hands on hips and chuckling loudly.

"Ho Ho Ho!" he chirped, raising his hands dramatically. "I'm pleased to bring Christmas to the children of Sunflower Village! Merry Christmas!"

You beamed as he interacted with the children, all of them feeding off his positivity and giving it back, all so undeniably happy.

-----

"Hello little miss..." Zoro greeted, prompting the small girl you'd hoisted into his lap to state her name.

"Shoji..." she mumbled, twiddling her thumbs in his lap.

"Shoji? That's a little boy's name- Ow!" You promptly kicked his shin, letting him know that that was not the right thing to say to a saddened young lady. "B-but, it's so pretty on you. It's a very nice name."

The girl sniffled, rubbing her tired eyes. "Thank you," she muttered near silently. "It means to heal or to be in peace."

"Then it's perfect for you." you grinned, ruffling her hair with a black gloved hand. "So, Shoji, what would you like me to bring you this Christmas?"

"I don't want you to bring me anything, Santa." She stated flatly. "I just want everyone on the island to be safe and happy, and for all of our sunflowers to grow again."

You both exchanged a glance as your hearts melted with her wish. There was no denying that you and the rest of the crew had been through hell and back trying to usurp power from the dictating pirate who'd claimed this land years ago. He had laid waste to all of their crops, namely their sunflowers, which were their number one export. Now, not only did the villagers not have any food, but the didn't have money either, and hope was in little supply. That's why fulfilling this event was so important to you, so that children like Shoji would have toys and a meal on Christmas.

Your crewmates were easy to convince. It gave Sanji an excuse to feed a large crowd and fight hunger, and Robin would have so many to read her stories to. Whatever toys couldn't be bought, Frank and Usopp could craft, and Luffy and Chopper could play with the waiting children while Brook performed carols on a small stage. The hardest to budge was Nami, she just couldn't justify spent millions of her hard earned berries on kids she didn't even know. However, when you reminded her of the life she came from, and the childhoods you all had, and how these children were doomed to repeat your history, she was putty in your hands.

"You don't have to worry about that, Shoji, I promise." Zoro swore, cradling the malnourished girl in his arms as she made herself more comfortable. "Now, wouldn't you prefer a doll or a teddy bear? Something you could play with?"

"He's right, ya know." you piped up, leaning on his thrown with your elbow, catching her attention. "Better not to waste your wish on something that's already fulfilled." Leaning over to sift through the bag of toys that Nami kept track of, you found a wooden sword with a pink ribbon on the handle, before pulling it out and presenting it to her. "Does this tickle your fancy?"

You and Zoro shared a laugh was her eyes illuminated, small hands reaching out to take it from you, at which you gladly handed it over. "And as for your wish-" you began, scanning the crowd for Usopp, before calling the man over and whispering in his ear. Almost immediately, he lit up, grinning from ear to ear and nodding.

-----

The crowd had gathered around the sniper as he stood ready at the edge of a cliff which over looked the scorched earth of what was once rolling fields of yellow flowers. "What's he doin'?" Zoro whispered to you, pulling his beard down ever so slightly.

"Just watch." you answered with a smile. As if on que, Usopp released the grip he held on his Kabuto, slinging dozens of small yellow marbles onto the ground below. The suspenseful silence morphed into an uproar of cheering as each ball exploded on impact, giving life to little vines that grew into enormous stalks, which then blossomed into brilliant golden petals as a finale.

"Pop greens..." Zoro realized, a bit stunned at the plan you'd conjured up with the tinkerer. "That's...actually smart."

"Are you saying my ideas aren't always smart?" you puffed your cheeks, putting on a faux pout.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." he chuckled, suddenly gleefully wrapping his arms around you and lifting you into the air. "C'mere, you!" You both shared a hearty laugh as he spun you around in the air as if you weighed nothing before gently setting you down. "Merry Christmas, (Y/N)."

"Merry Christmas, Zoro."

Taglist:

@imamonsterfucker-sorry @killmewithafanfic @elii0 @starblazer124

[violetjedisylveon]

Solid Ground.

Eda Raises Two Gods AU chapter 19

Summary: Ho Ho Ho and happy holidays. Eda finally has the big talk she's been dreading.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: ⚠️mentions of past trauma, anxiety, panic attacks and child abuse, but it's only talked about.⚠️

A/N: Here's your gift, it's got other gifts inside it. Ngl, this chapter is almost entirely Eda and Enzo talking about therapy and going to therapy and stuff like that so there's not much going on. It's just a lot of talking. The next chapter, the long awaited DSM-5 chapter, will be similarly talk heavy.

I hope you still enjoy it!

Here are some other gifts for you all, Noodle In A Blanket + animatic sneak peek, Celeste The Titan

Eda Raises Two Gods AU Masterpost

________________________________________________________________________________

Today.

It had to be today.

If she didn't do it today she didn't think she'd ever work up the nerve to do it again.

This was for Enzo, her kid needed this.

She could only hope and pray she had the right words for this.

Eda took in a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, then she knocked on the door.

Enzo was curled up in the nest with a picture book. They preferred picture books over written ones since they couldn't read yet. Nibs was happily dozing on their shoulder. They glanced up at her and gave her a small smile.

She went over to the nest with the plate she'd brought and held it out to them, they gave her a confused glance before taking it.

“Mind if I sit with you?” She asked softly.

Enzo nodded. She climbed into the nest and sat next to her kid, Enzo almost immediately leaned into her side. The kid looked so damn peaceful snuggled up next to her, she didn't want to ruin it, she really didn't.

“Can we talk?”

Eda really didn't like the way Enzo froze up, she definitely didn't like the way they pulled away from her.

“I'm not mad at you, I swear it's not that.” She quickly reassured them.

The kid shot her a wary glance but didn't turn to look at her. She let out a small sigh of relief when Enzo settled near her again, although they weren't as close as before.

“I promise I am not mad, I'm just worried. I'm really worried.” She started.

Enzo's ears flicked towards her, he still refused to look at her. She didn't want him to.

“What happened after you fell,” She paused when Enzo flinched, “it was really scary… for you and for me…” Enzo pulled their legs to their chest, shrinking away from her, “it means a lot more than you think, kiddo.”

“You remember how you felt, right?” She asked gently.

The kid gave her a hesitant nod.

“That thing you felt, it's called a panic attack.”

“A panic attack is this thing that happens when you have extreme anxiety or fear or stress. They can be random and happen without a trigger… but certain things can cause them…” she closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

“I get them sometimes… I get really scared of specific things and then boom, I'm having a panic attack.”

“And sometimes I get into a situation where I feel like something really bad is happening again, it's like I'm stuck in that moment or bits and pieces of it, and that experience causes a panic attack too.” She pretended not to hear Enzo's breathing stop for a few seconds and continued on like normal.

“It's a very troubling experience, it hurts, and it's very scary to feel like I'm stuck in such a bad place again.”

She waited a moment, or maybe she waited an hour, for Enzo to soak up the new information.

“did that happen to you when you fell?”

Enzo squeezed their legs closer to him and tucked their head down. Eda gave them their space, she needed to be careful about this.

“It's okay if you did, you can't control that, or having a panic attack.” She said.

Enzo tilted their head but didn't raise it up, his eye snapped open with that yellow glow it sometimes had.

“You don't have to tell me what it was, I don't need to know, all I need to know is if you had a flashback.” She continued.

The single glowing red eye stared at her, filled with darkness and distrust and fear. She met the fearful gaze, not even the slightest bit afraid of the darkness it held. There was only fear beneath that darkness.

They finally looked away. They blinked and the yellow glow vanished. Their body shook as they nodded.

“Papa isn't ever coming back, is he?”

“No starshine, he's not.”

“He's dead then, right?”

“I'm so sorry starshine, I think he is.”

Enzo turned to her with tearful eyes and then the dam broke.

Enzo cried uncontrollably. They might have been saying something, but she couldn't understand it through their sobbing. Eda sat silently and let Enzo cry, she didn't make any move to comfort them yet, he would come if they wanted it.

Her kid did end up cuddling up against her again, she loosely wrapped an arm around them, not too tight but enough to tell him she was there.

She sat with them for an hour before they calmed down enough to say anything.

“How do you stop them?” Their small, broken voice asked.

Alright Eda, don't fuck this up.

“There is this thing that you can do, it's called therapy. A therapist is the person who gives therapy, they spend a really long time learning how to do their job and how to help people with all sorts of things, there's lots of types of therapy.” Eda said.

“You know Gailine's mom, right?”

Enzo nodded.

“Well she is a therapist for trauma, which is really bad things that happen, she helps people understand their emotions and work through them so they can feel better. She's very good at her job.” She explained.

“So the therapist makes the bad feelings stop?” Enzo asked.

“Not exactly, they don't tell you what to do, and they can't solve the problem for you. Their job is to give you the tools and examples of how to do it yourself. They are also someone who you can trust with whatever you want, they're under an oath to not say a word about anything you tell them to anyone.” She gently corrected.

“Have you seen how Clover uses her magic?” She asked, switching over to the part she was sure Enzo wasn't going to respond to as positively.

“She uses the mind magic, right?” Enzo guessed.

“Yeah, Oracle Magic, and she's really good at it but she's a little odd because she uses it through plants, she really can't do it any other way. Her office is full of plants and they all smell really nice.” She explained.

Enzo gave her a fearful look and tightened their grip on her.

“is she gonna get in my head?”

“Enzo, she's not going to do anything without asking permission. You have every right to say no and she won't be mad at you.” She told them.

“And she's not allowed to do things you say she can't. She has a lot of rules she has to follow, respecting privacy is one of them.” She added when Enzo still looked a little uncertain.

They gave her a cautious half smile and relaxed again.

“What else happens at the therapy thing?” They asked, absently pulling at a loose thread on their sleeve.

“Well, it depends on what you need, so its different for everyone, but when she works with kids like you, Clover does a lot of playing. She has a lot of toys, games and activities that you can play with when you go meet with her. She'll play along with whatever games you come up with.”

“She's got a really big garden at her office, there's lots of plants and some friendly animals, and there's a really nice pond that's got lots of water creatures in it, Gailine keeps sneaking wild animals into it.” She said.

Enzo snickered at their friend's antics.

“That doesn't sound too bad.” They mumbled.

“Eh, it's not all fun and games starshine. It's a process that takes time, and in order for anything to get done, you're going to have to talk about some things that might be uncomfortable, you won't have to go into too much detail, Clover just needs an idea of what she's working with to help you.” She warned.

Enzo narrowed their eyes skeptically.

“Like what?”

They were surprisingly not turned off from the subject entirely. I thought that would have shut this conversation down immediately.

“At the first visit, she's just going to ask you some questions, you can just say yes or no and don't have to go into anything deeper if you don't want to. And after that she can figure out the best way to help you, but sometimes she might talk with you about the bad things.” She paused to gauge their reaction, he was still surprisingly calm.

“It's very important to remember that she isn't trying to hurt you, but all that stuff has to come to the surface so it can be taken care of, and that stuff is what's hurting you. This is to help you handle the bad stuff.” Eda said.

“A lot of bad things have happened to you, haven't they?” She prompted.

Enzo’s skeptical eyes widened with terror.

“Did you look?!” They shouted, jerking away from her again.

She rested a gentle hand on their shoulder.

“It's very clear to see without any magic, starshine. I see it in the way you act and how you talk, a lot has hurt you. It's still hurting you.” She explained calmly.

“Oh…”

“So what do you think? Do you wanna give it a try?”

Enzo frowned and bit their lip.

“So it's going to be fun and I get to play but it's going to make me feel bad while I'm trying to make the bad feel better?” They wondered.

“Yeah, something like that, Clover will also teach you ways to handle stressful situations so you don't have as many panic attacks. It will help make the flashbacks happen less too.” Eda said.

Enzo's eyes lit up at that.

“It stops the nightmares?! And the blue blood and the bad thoughts?!” They asked eagerly.

Blue blood? He's never mentioned that before.

“Uh, yeah, er, kinda after a while… does that happen often?” She asked gently.

“Sometimes I think things I don't mean to, I don't like it when that happens, those thoughts always make me feel weird.” Enzo answered.

“It'll stop all that?” They asked.

“It will make it happen less, and when it does you'll be able to manage it a lot better than you do now.” She clarified.

“It will feel better, right?” 

“Yes, after a while.” She repeated.

“But it will feel better, right?” Enzo asked again.

There was a strained, cautiously hopeful look in their eyes. They were tearing up again. They rubbed at their teary eyes, mumbling apologies to her and trying not to cry. Eda gently pushed their hands down and cupped his face. 

“i don't want to hurt anymore…” they whispered.

“Oh Starshine…” Eda cooed.

“It will feel better after a while, you don't have to hurt forever.” She said softly.

Enzo broke into a tearful smile and hugged her, crying more out of relief this time. She brought them closer and started humming a soft tune until they calmed down.

During that time, King wandered into her room and the little gremlin must have assumed it was cuddle time since he forced his way into the nest to join them.

Enzo stroked King’s soft fur as they calmed down.

“Is this why Gailine’s mom was coming over so much, cause you were talking about this?” Enzo asked.

“Yeah, sometimes we were talking about this. More times we were talking about other stuff, like old school stories and how old friends are doing or what crazy plant Eibhlín made this time. Normal adult stuff.” Eda said.

Enzo nodded and spent a few more minutes playing with King's fluffy fur.

“… philip always got mad when he was called anything else…” Enzo started quietly.

Eda glanced down at them, the owl beast growled in the back of her mind. This can't be good.

“…he got really mad at me when I called him “Pip” once… I didn't know he didn't like it… he yelled at me for a while…” Enzo trailed off again, she felt them tense under her hands.

“…do… do you get mad when people call you my mom…?” They asked.

“I mean… well it's just… Gailine always calls you my mom… and I never stop her cause I kinda like it… but I'll stop liking it if you don't like it!” they blurted before she could respond.

The Titan clearly had it out for her. She was barely prepared for the big conversation she set out to fail at having, now her kid was asking the other big question that was eating away at her and- wait, Enzo likes it when people call me their mom?

“I don't mind it.” Eda said.

Enzo let out the breath they had been holding since asking the question.

“…I thought you didn't like it cause your face always got red when it happens, like how when you get mad… are you not getting mad?” Enzo asked timidly.

Oh.

“Nope. I'm definitely not getting mad. I'm getting embarrassed.” She said.

Enzo stared at her for a moment then the light went off in their head.

“Like whenever Datura talks about that bird you like so much?!” They guessed.

Right on que, her cheeks started to warm.

“Right now! You're doing it right now!” He pointed out.

“I know starshine.” Eda mumbled.

“Why do you get so red over a bird anyway?” They asked, relaxing into her side.

“They aren't actually a bird. That's just what Datura calls them.” Eda said.

“So who are they?” Enzo asked.

“They’re an… old friend of mine.” she settled on saying.

“Enough off topic questions” Eda said, stopping her kid from prying more into her past.

“Do you think you can go to a therapy appointment? I'll go in with you, if you want me to.” Eda asked.

“I… I think I can… I think I'm ready now.” Enzo said.

Eda gave her kid a light squeeze.

“I'm really proud of you, starshine. You're an amazing kid, you know that, right?” she told him.

“You really think so?” They asked, looking up at her in awe.

“Oh absolutely.” Eda swore.

“Thank you m-Eda!” 

“Excuse me?” Eda asked.

“Nothing! I said Eda! I just said Eda!” Enzo squealed, their face flushing pink with embarrassment.

Eda raised an eyebrow and gave her kid another light squeeze.

“C'mon starshine, what did you wanna say?” she asked.

Enzo squeaked and buried their face in his hands.

“…mama…” they mumbled.

Not that long ago, Eda would have rejected that title instantly. Even a few weeks ago when she had just started to get more comfortable with it, she still wouldn't have accepted it. Hell, just a few minutes ago she panicked that the kid liked it.

Now that they had actually said it, now that it was out there, she didn't hate it as much as she had thought she would. She kind of liked it.

She absolutely knew she wasn't the best as far as parents went. She didn't have the best example for herself and she was a wanted criminal and a cursed witch. That didn't exactly scream stable child rearing environment, but…

Enzo had just called her “mom”, they thought of her like a mom, their mom.

Even if she wanted to, she was in way too deep to back out now. 

This was her kid, she wasn't going to abandon them.

That being said, her face still turned bright red. Emotions were weird.

“Do, um, do you want to call me that?” She asked, clearing her throat with an awkward cough.

“is it okay? I don't want Papa to get sad…” Enzo asked.

“Starshine, I'm sure your dad is happy for you.” She assured him.

A fond smile formed on their face.

“… yeah, he would be…” they giggled.

“So I can call you mama?” 

“Sure starshine, if you want.”

“I want to.” They said.

“Alright then.” Eda nodded.

Enzo beamed and hugged her with an adorable little giggle.

“Thanks Mama.”

“Anytime kiddo.”

XXX

Eda grabbed her scroll, the kids were fast asleep in the nest beside her after dinner and a nice warm bath. King needs a haircut soon. She thought absently as she searched up the name of Clover’s office, “The Garden House, Resources and Services For Healing The Mind And Body.”, she was going to make Enzo's first appointment.

She had already talked it over with Enzo and told them that she would try to get it done some time this week, it really all depended on how busy Clover was.

From what she had been told, the first appointment was easy to make, and all the important information got sorted out afterwards. So all she had to do was make the appointment. That was the easiest part of this whole day.

She submitted her request for a Friday first appointment and put her scroll away. She would tackle that tomorrow, now she was going to bed with her kids.

[karloff-the-uncanny]

Happy 91st anniversary to “The Mummy” 1932!

I used this as an excuse to draw Im-Ho-Tep in a Santa hat, because why not? I love drawing Monsters out of character 🎅

This also gave me a chance to try and make a “sketchy” piece of art, as I have a habit of turning all my drawings into marathon projects that take hours, and not just sketch something out quickly and efficiently. This drawing still took longer than I intended, as I decided to change some details last minute, but I managed to do the face and outline quicker than usual at least. I also got a chance to practice using my Lyra brush pens for once, which was nice.

“Im-Ho-Ho-Ho-Tep” came to me when I was about halfway through the drawing. I am still exceptionally pleased with myself for coming up with that, and will probably be very smug for the next couple of weeks 😂

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hello! I’d love to ask you some questions from the Fandom talk prompts. Your answers can be from any fandom you want! (Apologies if there’s a limit on questions I wasn’t sure!)

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

7. your favorite tropes to read/write/draw

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

- R

Well, that is a very good thing, because I’d love to answer any of your questions! I’m having a blast, honestly, just taking the couple of hours tonight to do this. I feel really happy and energized, in a weird sort of way! There was no limit on questions this time either, so no worries 😊

3. A character that fandom has helped you appreciate

I haven’t been lucky enough to really become a part of the fandoms for all the things I’m into. Sometimes people just aren’t really all that interested in interacting with me or I can’t find ways to really break into some cliquey fandoms or the fandoms just aren’t there because I’m a fandom of one, sadly. So I’m limiting these answers to the ones where I’ve got some experience in their fandoms!

Okay, but because of a fan who introduced me to the series, I went into Assassination Classroom feeling like I had to love Karma. That Karma would have to be an amazing character…now, honestly, if I hadn’t been as influenced by this person, I would have been more neutral on Karma. I would have really enjoyed him, but he probably wouldn’t have made my favourites list. I think he’s really interesting, don’t get me wrong, and I find his character design and character charming. He just would not have been my favourite. But because of that influence, he’s definitely within my top three favourites.

With Black Cat, I had a friend who really loved Sephiria. I was always neutral, leaning positive, like I am with most characters but through really talking about the character, listening to their headcanons and how they interpreted her, I really grew to love her.

Okay, but towards the end of when I stopped reading Bleach, it was because I flat out and out hated Ichigo. Couldn’t stand him, stopped giving a fuck about him, no longer wanted to read anything about him. It’s why I dropped the series. But it was only through seeing a lot of tumblr posts and hearing people talk about the series that I…well, I still don’t particularly enjoy Ichigo by any stretch of the imagination because towards the end parts of the manga, he’s just hugely OP and boring…but they made me interested enough in seeing how his story ended, how everything turned out for the other characters, for me to have picked it back up.

For Disney’s Ultimate Spider-Man, while I thought he was definitely a real cool character and a very interesting character with a great, unique twist, I definitely would not have grown to adore Adrian Toomes near as much as I do now if it hadn’t been for the fact that the majority of asks I’ve fielded for this fandom have been for that character.

In terms of Bungou Stray Dogs, the fandom really did make it so that I was pretty neutral towards Akatugawa. I really honestly didn’t like him my first read-through and the posts and talk about him made me lean more favourably. Of course, now with repeated read throughs and with how the story has progressed in terms of that character, I’m now pretty firmly in love with him as a character, but that’s just me.

The only reason I enjoy Theresa from Class of the Titans is because of a friend who had ended up adoring her. I think this friend honestly fleshed out the character more, and better, than the show ended up doing and it definitely affected how I see the character and how I write the character.

That same friend from Assassination Classroom? Also the only reason I liked Sanemi and Genya from Demon Slayer. I hated Genya, absolutely abhorred that guy, at his first introduction because that was fucking rough and same story with Sanemi. Immediate hatred. However, knowing how dear these characters were to a friend, and knowing how she talked about them, I made myself really sit and consider the characters, to pay special attention to their scenes, to do the research into them to learn more about them. While neither are on my favourite character’s list, I do enjoy them, which is a lot different from first impressions. They’ve also made me a huge Inumaki and Yuji fan as far as Jujutsu Kaisen goes (though Inumaki would definitely have been a huge favourite of mine anyway, as he’s absolutely adorable). Also the reason I fucking LOVE Bokuto from Haikyuu!!

For Eyeshield 21, I will happily admit that the fandom has forever made major gremlin boy, Hirumi Yoichi, one of my all-time favourite characters of all times. He’s forever enmeshed in my heart and I cannot fucking forget him or not love that character and how hilarious, chaotic, and bad-ass he is.

I roleplayed on ProBoards years and years ago. A friend I loved threading with created a new character with Takasugi from Gintama as their face claim and it’s legit the only reason I picked up the manga and why I enjoy Takasugi from the manga. I legit would probably have been neutral, leaning towards bored, with him if I’d just stumbled onto the manga alone.

I got into Hunter x Hunter because of reading a tumblr who started posting headcanons about the manga. I really love the manga, all the characters, it’s on my must-check-out list that I use for recommendations. But it’s simply because of that tumblr and all the headcanons, that I ended up loving Hisoka.

If it wasn’t for a dear friend self-shipping and writing with him, I’d hate Lancelot from Ikemen Revolution. I still feel like his route was the most boring in the game, he inspires no carnal passion in me, and they know I feel like that, but they and their portrayal of that character, are the only reason I like the character and they definitely have influenced how I personally write him.

For K Project, I have never been quiet about the fact that @shoheiakagi’s blog led to my now obsessive love for HOMRA’s ABC boys and has definitely influenced how I write them.

For KHR!, I definitely feel that it’s through writing in the fandom, through reading other’s fics, through hearing everyone chatter about the characters, along with an ungodly amount of rereads of the source material with those things in mind, that I’ve grown to love certain characters as much as I have. Without those things, I wouldn’t enjoy Hibari, Mukuro, Reborn, or Squalo near as much as I do.

7. Your favourite tropes to read/write/draw

Oh my gosh, there’s so many great ones. Of course, there’s the obvious in that I love writing AU’s. It’s always really fun for my mind to take these groups of characters and transplant them into various worlds with rules and guidelines and social pressures and such of those worlds. It’s interesting to think about how that might change the characters, what would remain the same, would any relationships be different. There’s also the obvious in that I do love me a good cross-over for those same reasons – it makes my brain really happy to smash these two character groups together, to figure out how it happens, who gets along, who doesn’t, what the dynamics are like, how they interact and all that.

It's rather obvious that I really enjoy domestic, slice of life and very found family type shit too. I mention it enough that you all are probably tired of it.

I’m a sucker for star-crossed lovers as a trope.

Also, a good fan of a Stepford Smiler type character in terms of character tropes, though I find it hard to write and pull off well.

The Scrooge Effect is a great, very underutilized trope.

For my own fun, I also really enjoy isekai tropes.

8. You hope more people will come to appreciate ________ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc.)

You know how I just typed above that people are sick of me mentioning it? But honestly, a real solid appreciation of friendships, found family’s, family style dynamics and really explorations of all the different types of relationships you can have with someone that isn’t ‘we’re dating and we love each other and are each other’s soulmates and will get married and be happy forever’. Hell, even exes, either on good terms or bad ones, is another dynamic to explore in terms of romance. The one who got away and is now happily in a relationship or married and having to fully let go? Another great romantic exploration. Wrong time, right person? Another great romantic exploration. None of which get enough appreciation or use and I really wish they were more used, appreciated, and explored through fic, all of them, but especially the non-romantic because honestly, who you bone and who you date is such a small part of your life in the grand scheme of things.

16. A tiny detail in canon you want more people to appreciate

In A3!, though I’m nowhere near as much of a theatre buff as a friend of mine is, I wish more people would talk about and appreciate all the little bits and pieces that the show brought into light that need to take place to make any theatre production. They showed the backstage, the practices, all the hard work that goes into performing a show and it was lovely to see.

In Black Cat…honestly, Saya. I know we didn’t get to see a lot of her and there’s a lot of people who feel she’s too Mary-Sue, just because of the intense impact she did have on Train’s life, but I feel she was honestly a really interesting, intriguing character that I wish could have had more page time and really wish more people enjoyed her character.

For Bleach, Fairy Tail, One Piece, and Hunter x Hunter, I want to just take a moment here to say that something I wish I heard more fans say. Despite any other writing mistakes or issues they had, all of these authors created these incredibly vast worlds, all solidly built worlds with societies and rules and small little details, and then populated these worlds with literally HUNDREDS OF CHARACTERS. That is no small feat by any means and it always blows my mind when I sit to read or watch any of them because it really is something so worthy of admiration. I struggle sometimes fully fleshing out one character and making them suitably interesting and all four of those writers are sitting down and creating hundreds of characters. Just wow…so much appreciation and love for them.

For Disney’s Ultimate Spider-Man, I think it was really cool how the creators reimagined these characters as teenagers and made everything feel natural to both the experience of being a teenager, and to the characterizations of these characters in other Marvel universes. It was pretty well-done, in my humble opinion.

I think BNHA does a really admirable job of showing, in often quite subtle ways, the impact that superpowers would have on a society, what pressure it would put on people, the harm they could do, the ways that being a ‘superhero’ can really rob someone of their own individual identity and how being a superhero can really break a person down in ways throughout the span of time.

Bungou Stray Dogs is so incredibly well-researched in certain ways and you can tell the author is genuinely a literature geek and I really would die to read more analyses of the literary references, both overt and subtle, that are made within the work itself instead of having to see the two thousandth Chuuya/Dazai post.

Class of the Titans actually had a pretty good production value, given the time it was made and the budget. The animation really holds up, the character designs are unique, and the reinvention of the Greek myths was pretty solidly done.

Dogs: Bullets & Carnage has FUCKING IMMACULATE artwork and a slow-burn storyline that is incredible. Just please appreciate any part of this work. Just please – the fandom is small and more people need to check this out.

Eyeshield 21 is the furthest thing from a stereotypical sports manga. It definitely does have a solid plot, with games, training, and practices, and football plays a large part. But it’s truly lovely bits lay in the amazing characters, who are all quite different, unique, and all well-designed, in the incredible interpersonal relationships, and the real human emotions that it conveys so incredibly well.

Shout out to Gangsta. for having some really great rep in terms of different abilities, body types, backgrounds, skin colours, and such. I really loved that about the manga.

Gravity Falls is…well, it rips my heart out, makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me smile…it throws me through the whole gamut of emotions with it’s amazing characters and interpersonal relationships, the real stakes you feel at play, and the lovingly written world.

Can we just all agree that, for a gacha style otome game, Ikemen Revolution had some incredibly brutal, though absolutely beautiful routes. Edgar’s route will live in my head forever, which is not something most otome games can do.

For K Project, I wish I could hear more from people on how incredible the soundtrack was and how many truly interesting, unique, or good fashion moments there were.

Okay, let’s talk KHR! All the adult characters deserve a shit ton more respect put on their names, just saying. There’s not a single KHR character who is black and white, evil, or good, no matter how biased you wanna be about it. Hate Timoteo? Fine. You can hate him. But he’s definitely not pure evil, irredeemable, a complete heartless bastard. Went on the same rant with Iemitsu the other day. Nana? Not an abusive harpy who is pure evil either. Tsuyoshi? An incredibly kind man with a mysterious past who deserves love. Shamal? Not just a brainless womanizer with no redeeming qualities. He’s a genius who was once scouted for the Varia, an able hitman, Gokudera’s mentor, and he’s shown a lot of very subtle clues of being a real decent guy, under that façade. Lal Mirch? Not a weak woman who couldn’t do anything but cling to Colonello like a damsel in distress. She’s a bad-ass former COMSUBIN trainer who lives her own life and does a damn good job of it. Luce? Not an evil, heartless witch who sold out all the other Arcobalenos. A troubled woman trying her best to do what needed to be done, who also lost a shit ton herself because of the curse. Again, you can hate a character all you want. Doesn’t mean you need to tear them completely down and reduce all the subtleties that Amano puts in down to nothing to make that character horrible and evil and bad. You can just say you don’t like them while admitting that they’re a cool enough character that someone else might enjoy, just not your thing.

The Vampire Dies in No Time! opening sequence for season 1. Excellent song, excellent opening. Just all around one of my all time favourite openings.

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 3: Travel Preps!

Hej! I can’t believe it’s already February. Time flew by as I made more unforgettable memories in Stockholm :)

I am definitely getting more used to school and living like a local (we went through so much recycling in the past three weeks).

But for now, I'll dive right into my third week:

1/29 Mon: Freedom in Gamla Stan

During lunchtime, my friends and I visited Matchaya to get bubble tea and lunch. It was only a 10/15 minute walk from the DIS building! Very convenient. The bubble teas were AMAZING and the ramen was good too :)  

My first bubble tea (Mango passion fruit) in Stockholm was a huge success <3 They put chunks of real mango in the drink too!!

I’ve always wanted to go back to Gamla Stan to go into some specific stores that I passed by when I was with my friends, hence I went to Gamla Stan again. Granted that I have been there multiple times now, I didn’t need Google Maps to use the metro or get to the stores. In a small souvenir shop, I found the perfect key chain for my housing key!

It’s a tiny little fuzzy Viking friend! 

As I walked in the warm sunshine and the occasional breezes, I could feel the definition of peace of mind. It was exactly what I came to study abroad for and I was suddenly on the verge of tears due to pure happiness. It was an inexplicable moment :)

1/30 Tue: Searching for the One 

I had never imagined that finding a cream-colored puffer in XS size would be this hard.

There was this white jacket that I saw in UNIQLO during my arrival shopping, and it had been living in my head rent-free since then. I have visited other stores to look for jackets with similar properties but I never succeeded. Moreover, UNIQLO was out of the size I was looking for both online and offline. When I went to the website and applied the filters it said “VERY LOW STOCK” in the mall. I had no option other than to go to the Mall of Scandinavia to look for the exact jacket. I had to try!  

I took the astonishingly smooth commuter train for the first time, and it only took 25 minutes in total. Much to my joy, I was able to snatch the last one at the mall!

1/31 Wed: Let’s Book Everything 

I didn’t have any field trips today, so I had a great time waking up late in the morning (afternoon to be exact). 

I appreciate the sun so much more than I did back in the States 

My roommate and I had a conversation the day before about going to Austria, Vienna together as a weekend trip. We searched through Ryanair (at 1 am) and found the best flight that perfectly suits our class schedules. It gets better: it was $65 per person for a round trip to Vienna! That’s what I call a deal.

Next, I called my dear college friends back home. They have been talking about going to London ever since my study abroad in Sweden was confirmed. My friend and I scheduled a time on Wednesday with Google Calendar (this is what we need to do when we each have 10 billion events going on in our lives) to finalize the trip. Again, Ryanair did its trick and I got my flights booked in an hour. 

** Ryanair is recommended if you are on a tight budget AND don’t have a lot of stuff! I’m only bringing my backpack since these are all weekend trips :)

My roommate and I also had a fabulous dinner, ramen. 

As you can see from the photo, we had a feast

2/1 Thu: Self-Care Day

My morning film class was canceled today, so I had the pleasure of turning off all the alarms. For once I had plenty of time to make breakfast. 

*･+:*｡･ Golden French toast *｡･:*+*

When I was done with my late afternoon three-hour core course, I really didn’t feel like doing anything. So I didn’t! 

The view from the DIS building 

We just cooked together following an Instagram recipe

(could have used thinner meat)

and watched Memento together. It played with my mind too many times… I highly recommend it + a video essay that unfolds the movie from a different perspective! 

2/2 Fri: Banksy!  

To make up for the work I didn’t do last night, I woke up at 5 am to finish my homework. 

Sunrise view at 7:30 am 

After class, I briefly ate lunch and headed to The Mystery of Banksy.

I had no prior background knowledge about Banksy, which allowed the museum trip to be a fun learning experience. There was a lot more political and social criticism than I imagined in Banksy’s artworks. The pop-up ends on February 4th, so if you are interested check out the Banksy website! 

Here are the pictures we took: 

My roomie even brought her camera!!! I was so jealous

2/3 Sat: Fika with Friends

Of course, I went to Gamla Stan again. I was invited for a fika brunch and there was no reason to say no.

We walked around until there were seats available at Fika and Wine.

The food and the desserts were all flavorful. 

After devouring everything, we strolled around the city to digest. All four of us took pictures of each other at the same time and the conversations we had were too funny.

So much laughter &lt;3

I started turning around and around while my friend was taking pictures of me - it resulted in me getting a new nickname of rotisserie chicken.  

The picture depicts a chicken in the midst of rotating

Your answer better be YES to this question!

Maybe it was the turns that led me to lose my transportation card. That’s right, I lost my 90-day SL card. Thankfully, I registered for the replacement guarantee during the first week because I knew it was bound to happen at some point (but not this early ;-; ). I went to the SL Customer Service Center in Central Station, near the T-Centralen metro station, and got my 90-day plan transferred into a new card for $2. 

Sending love to my roomie who stayed with me until the problem got fixed. Couldn’t have done it without you <3 

2/4 Sun: More Planning (Hopefully the Last)

I finally finalized all the details for my Spain trip during the Exploration Travel Week Break! I got the flight and the hotel in Barcelona, and I am extremely excited for this trip. Going to Spain has been on my bucket list for a while now, and I can’t describe how THRILLED I am. I will write more about it when the time comes :) 

My plans for the rest of today are doing more homework and maybe getting dinner with my friends at a Ghanaian restaurant. 

I hope you enjoyed my relaxing but vibrant third week! The past three weeks in Stockholm have been exactly what I came to study abroad for, and I wouldn’t change this experience with anything. 

I hope to share more of my everlasting memories with you!

 

Vi ses, 

Jiwoo Kim 

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

[chellyfishing]

ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.

instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!

(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)

in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.

i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.

in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.

confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.

i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.

in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!

my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.

after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!

i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)

oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.

in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.

the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.

in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.

my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.

another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.

so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.

i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.

i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.

the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.

i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.

and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)

anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.

[pbandjesse]

So I did not feel better today. I felt worse actually. But I was convinced I just needed to suck it up. I would convince myself that I was actually fine and was faking it. Which is stupid but I kept convincing myself and then would cough so hard I would start crying.

When I woke up I was not happy. James left while I was still getting ready because they wanted to beat the rain. I think if they stayed a little longer they would have convinced me to stay home. But instead I got myself together best I could and went down to the car.

It was raining and cold. But it was warm in the car.

Driving to camp was a little rough only because I kept coughing up stuff. And was feeling really gross and bad.

When I got to camp I immediately went up to stockade to find the mushroom from the other day. And it was just turning black and so I plucked it and was very pleased.

I got back to the office and would answer some emails and get some things sorted. I continued to work on my pine needles sewing. It's going better. I want to start a new one soon so I can try to start the middle in a better way. But I think I'm getting the hang of it.

I was confused when no one came in at 9. And then not 930. Closer to 10 Alexi and Elizabeth came in, with Sarah following not long after. I was sort of deteriorating at this point. My cough was becoming more frequent and painful.

I tried to have conversations but I was so hard to be heard. And I could only do so much. We have two Native American feildtrips next week so I would do what I could to get things set up. But it will be a little bit of a mad rush on Monday morning.

I would struggle through until right before noon. But by then I was coughing and had to put my head down on the table to catch my breath. I had tried going up to the arts building and coughing my lungs out, thinking I could dislodge all the gunk in my lungs. But it just made me feel dizzy.

Before I left I thought about going to target. But I just wanted to go home.

The drive back was good. I had talked to Elizabeth about a nerd rapper I had forgotten about and so I got to relisten to some of my highschool music and that was very fun. Made for a good drive home. Even with the rain.

I got back here before 1230. And was happy to be back.

But I also felt stupid. Like I was being dramatic. I wasn't even coughing! I was obviously fine and had been lying. And then I would breath weird and started coughing so hard I thought I was going to throw up. It was pretty horrible.

But because I am stupid I would be fine for a while. And started vacuuming and adding water to the fish tanks and cleaning the kitty litter. And would be fine! I'm obviously all better! But then would cough so hard I would cry. I hate this so much.

The worse and most annoying part is that I feel find behind the voice and the cough. I'm not nauseous. My chest is a little sore but my body doesn't ache. So it's like my brain can't accept that I'm sick.

But I am trying. So I called out of my weekend plans. I'm really sad to miss my last BAS workshop on sunday. And I rescheduled my private lesson. And I'm not going to the market. I won't say I'm not sad. But I'm going to try really hard to actually rest and get well.

I would try to sleep but it didn't happen. I mostly watched videos. I made a few tiktoks because I was a little bored. I worked on my knitting some. I tried to sleep again but my water cup fell over in the bed and got me and the bed all wet. My world was obviously falling apart.

I moved to the couch to cuddle up there. I had taken some time to reorganize the mantle in the living room and change the layout a little. And I felt really good about that. I also pulled out some blankets from storage to put an extra on the couch and finally remember to put one in the car. Very productive.

James would come home and I was happy to see them. They would get to work making tortilla soup. I was coughing a lot and was kind of miserable but I was happy to have my husband home and safe.

There would be some waiting for the soup to be done but that was okay. Sweetp was crying at the door and we figured out that he's crying and talking to the car upstairs! I hope they are having a nice conversation.

The soup was really good. Very happy with the recipe I chose and James made it so nice. Love my husband. They would hang out with me on the couch. And Sweetp and me had a nice cuddle. I watched to many tiktoks. It was nice.

I took a bath while James made got chocolate. It burned my tongue a little but it was fine. I am pretending it fixed my chest pain. But it probably didn't do much.

I just finished painting my toes. And I'm going to go brush my teeth now. And get ready to sleep.

Tomorrow I will rest. And maybe draw or something small. I just want to feel better.

Goodnight everyone. Please cover your coughs.

[atlantisknits]

4- Feeling tangled, casting on the Weekend Slipover V-Neck Edition

Hi hello

So, life has been kinda crazy lately…

But, when isn’t it?

I feel like life is forever throwing things at me that I have to try and bat away somehow. However, usually I wind up turning to the same repetitive behaviours. Honestly, knitting probably counts as one of these behaviours- it’s something I can do even when I’m stressed or there’s a lot going on and I don’t need to focus too much of my energy on it and the repetitive motion helps to distract my mind…or allows it to carry on overthinking, but makes me feel better because at least I’m doing something ‘productive’. 

I often find myself feeling guilty or anxious if I’m not doing something ‘productive’ and have found myself boxed in this mindset. However, this is counterproductive as I then overwhelm myself by thinking of all the things I could or should be doing and then just end up avoiding things and procrastinating and this isn’t helping me get anywhere. 

And, I think that’s the thing- I feel so tangled up by everything going on around me I feel trapped in this net and it’s preventing me from moving forward. This also sucks when everyone else around me seems to be moving on with their lives and I’m still trying to find a way out of my parent’s place and into a career that actually suits me and what I want out of my life. 

Even though, yes, it’s possible that knitting has become somewhat of a coping mechanism for me and there’s a chance that perhaps I need to limit time spent knitting to focus on other things. However, knitting has also become a passion and I’m so happy to have stumbled upon this hobby. By ‘passion’, I do not mean to say that I am talented or good at knitting and I want to make a career from it somehow, but if it did ever reach that point I think this would fit in more with my actual dreams and interests to where I’m at currently. As a kid, tween, teen, if I was ever asked what I wanted to do when I grow up my answers would normally consist of artist, fashion designer, writer. Yet, somehow those dreams got undermined and somewhere down the road I had to put them to one side and focus on something more ‘academic’ if I wanted to get myself a decent career.

Well, I studied for four years and now have a degree sat on a shelf doing nothing. I am struggling and find myself turning to creative hobbies in an effort to cope through this and in doing so have re-discovered these old dreams. 

For a while I couldn’t see a future for myself (and I do not mean that to sound as dark as it does but we move lol). The future I had thought out for myself I was basically pulled away from, I then started a new path, that was taken from me and it reached a point where I felt like I had been pushed and pulled in so many different directions that when it came to me actually focusing on myself and what I wanted from my life I couldn’t figure that out- it felt like whatever I would decide on would be the wrong decision. So, I was just left in this tangled mess. 

Yet, as my twenty-seventh birthday looms I realise now more than ever that I must navigate through this and find my way out. It will take some patience with myself as well as my circumstances, but I’m hoping that little by little the more I untangle these knots I will be able to see a future that I want for myself and not a future that has been planned out for me. 

That being said, I believe knitting has taught me a lot of patience. As an anxious person I find myself constantly on edge and this can make me very impatient with pretty much everything. However, I learnt that I couldn’t moan at my own mistakes and errors if I had impatiently rushed through certain parts of a project or skipped over learning certain points properly. I think this has begun to show in the pieces I create and it’s pleasing to see how my work has improved with time. 

I recently cast on the Weekend Slipover V-Neck edition by Petite Knit and since casting it on I’ve noticed how things I have learnt have stuck with me, meaning before I have even finished this project I am feeling a sense of achievement from it and I will take any small wins right now. What’s also great about this project is that it’s an opportunity to finally try out Knitting For Olive yarn! I have been looking to treat myself to some KFO for a while now and after a turbulent couple of weeks I decided I needed a treat. I opted for the Heavy Merino and Soft Silk Mohair both in Plum Clay- the colour is so beautiful, a muted purple colour that looks more brown or purple in certain lighting. I had originally considered a dark brown, but for some reason purple has been on my mind a lot lately and I guess that’s what drew me to this shade. 

There is a rather funny story about this yarn, however. The yarn was shipped from Denmark and then once in the UK I was informed it would be delivered through Royal Mail. I instantly knew that something was going to happen to this parcel and of course I was correct. 

I had gone to the hairdresser’s and returned home to an email that my parcel had been delivered. My dad was home, but there was no parcel in sight and no note to say it had been left next door. I scrolled through the email and all I was offered was an image of my parcel stuffed behind someone’s planter…we don’t have planters nor do our neighbours. So, I had to wander around the block to see if I could spot a planter that looked like the one in the image. After a couple of hours of some questionable detective skills I finally tracked down my parcel- the yarn was found safe and sound thanks to a very nice lady. 

On that note I think I will leave my incoherent ramblings there for today. To whoever is reading this, I hope you are well and if you are also feeling a little caught up in life right now I hope things ease for you soon also.

Happy knitting xo

Images originally featured on my Instagram: atlantis.knits