#but I felt like writing anyway lol
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not to sound rude but if youre not a hellenic polytheist you shouldnt be giving other ppl guidance on how to worship the greek gods....... what youre doing is taking deities out of their original cultural and ethnic context and westernize them
Heyo! I'm gonna assume that you're willing to hear out my response rather than just sending this ask in hoping that I'll suddenly change my entire practice. I'm not quite sure which part of my blog you have a gripe with, so I'll just interpret it both ways;
For one, I.... don't give advice to people who aren't asking for it. I only really post for my followers, and the only time I actively "give advice" is when I either address the reader of a post (AKA my followers, not intended for people who don't like my blog) or B. when someone sends me an ask actively looking to me specifically for my advice because my way of doing deity work resonated with them. I will forever encourage my followers to just fully ignore any of my advice that doesn't resonate with them! Their relationship with their gods is their own, and not mine.
That being said, I think this ask is probably less about advice giving and more about me practicing the wrong way- you're right, I'm not a Hellenic polytheist. Actually, I'm a witch, and I can point you to the entirety of witchblr and witches on just about every other social media to say that I'm not the only one who works with deities this way. Hellenic polytheism and witchcraft are two very different things, they just sometimes include the same deities. A lot of witches work with them, as it's an open pantheon, and they're not Hellenic polytheists either.
I don't give advice on how to worship the gods. In fact, I don't think anyone who considers themselves as worshipping the Greek gods would even find my blog useful because I don't worship the gods I work with. I've spoken quite a bit on here about how I work with them rather than worship, and how important it is to my craft that I view my deities as allies and friends rather than authority figures. I take their advice not because they have any control over my life and choices, but because I trust them.
I'll be honest with you; I find the way Hellenic Polytheists practice to be something that would be harmful to me. I think it's beautiful, and believe me I've actually looked into how they practice- it works for them and I love it! But that way of practicing would destroy my relationship with my deities for reasons I won't bother rambling about on this post. (Long story short: Miasma, amongst other things)
All that to say: the Greek deities are an open pantheon and tons of witches work with them. I respect Hellenic polytheism but it isn't for me. Respectfully, practice your way and allow me to practice mine.
#genuinely I'm willing to listen to people's opinions#and if I'm wrong then I'm wrong#but like#you come onto my blog and tell me that my relationship with the divine is wrong??? I'm not asking you to convert dude#also I work with Loki too#like I never have nor ever will pretend to be a Hellenic Polytheist#my whole blog is my personal experiences as a witch that's it#okay now I'm tired I'm going to bed#got this ask at an insane hour of the night I shouldn't even be up#but I felt like writing anyway lol
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an idea… rafe and shy reader having sex for the first time
everything's overwhelming with rafe, but this is particularly so. you thought you were completely ready for it, from the way you had handled everything else so well. in fact, rafe was the one taking things at the slowest pace possible, trying to make sure he didn’t pressure you into something you weren’t ready for.
you didn’t like it—thought he was trying to be something he’s not. he’s gentle with you but never like this, never to this extent. it must be a big deal then, sleeping with rafe, giving him your virginity, you finally decide, if he’s acting so differently about it.
in fact, you think you’ve been ready to give it up since you first started dating him. rafe brings it out of you, coaxes a different side of you out with gentle words and soft touches. you’re going mad over it. you can’t count the amount of times you’ve crawled into his lap at any given opportunity, anywhere the two of you are alone—his truck, the couch in your living room and at tannyhill, the hidden booth at the country club. you’re begging for it, not sure how much more obvious you can get.
you finally decide tonight’s the night—following a nice dinner with the two of you. you had spent extra long getting dressed up, a pretty white lingerie set on underneath your blue dress, all done up for rafe. finally back at tannyhill, entire body vibrating and tingling with excitement, you don’t wait another moment, crawling into rafe’s lap and kissing him hard. you take off your dress and rafe stops just for a second to take in how forward you’re being.
“hey,” he finally breathes against your lips, pulling away. “c’mon, you’re not ready for this.”
“yes i am!” you whine, impatient and horny, feeling rafe get hard underneath you. you want him to be able to do all the things you know he wants to do, want them done to you. “i am, i am-” and you lean back to kiss him, ending up pinned underneath him before long.
he knows you’re not, but he plays along. you’re so wet already he doesn’t have to do much, but he makes you cum all over his fingers anyways, hoping it’ll satiate you.
“please, rafe,” you moan against his mouth, pushing in for another needy kiss. “wan’ it inside. please.” and he does know you, knows everything about you, but even he can’t resist when you say things like that.
you watch with big eyes while he lines himself up with your wet hole, hovering over you. you think you’re so ready, that three of rafe’s fingers inside you should be comparable to what you’re about to feel, that you’re more than prepared. your eyes squeeze shut when rafe pushes inside, all the air leaving your lungs. you try to moan out but it’s more of a gasp than anything else, one that rafe swallows into a kiss.
your eyes get watery—it’s just habit. it hurts, too, because rafe is so much bigger than you expected. you bite your cheek, looking up at rafe through teary eyes and clasping a hand over your mouth—you don’t want to admit that he was right.
“c’mon kid, give it up. y’not ready for this, i know you,” rafe says, leaning in close to your ear to whisper it quietly. he’s not even half-way inside you.
“i-i can take it,” you hiccup. you hate disappointing rafe.
and it’s not that he doesn’t want to—he does, desperately so, wants to fuck you within an inch of your sanity every time you walk into a room and look at him with your shy eyes and sweet smile. he wants to break you, wants you cumming on his dick until there’s nothing left in your head, no shyness left in your heart. but he wants it when you’re ready for it, not like this.
it only takes another minute, you finally admit you’re not ready, and rafe pulls out of you. you feel like crying, terribly sad and dejected, wishing you could just be normal for rafe for once, be what he wants.
“stop,” he says, wiping away a stray tear. his arm rests over your stomach, trying to get you to lighten up. “when you’re ready for it, i’ll fuck you until you can’t think. s’just not today, kid.”
you finally agree when he says that, getting over it because you know without a doubt in your mind—rafe knows you better than you know yourself.
#omg what a lovely lovely prompt thank you babe <3#this may not be what you were expecting#to me the very first time they have sex its too much for shy reader so it doesn't actually happen happen... but it is still the first time#i rlly wanted to write something like what you guys would expect but i really felt like this is more real of their relationship lol#anyways <3 i hope you like it!#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#shy reader
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Idk who needs to hear this, but
Whenever I see a self ship double, or a popular canon x f/o ship and feel sad/insecure about it, I like to imagine that it's an "alternate universe", meaning that it's just a different version of your f/o.
The real version? They're with you. They're yours, and love you only.
No one can change that fact.
They love you, so damn much.
No one else - nothing else - matters.
YOU are their canon partner.
"I am my f/o's canon and real partner" - say it, manifest it, because it's true.
It's real. 💕
[Pr0ship DNI. Please respect my boundaries]
#yea - I'm still gonna take a break but I needed to get this off my chest LOL#already felt like crap and then saw my f/o being shipped with someone else - which made it all WAYYYY worse.#anyways#self ship community#self ship comfort#yumeship#f/o#safeship#selfship imagines#imagine your f/o#f/o comfort#selfship scenario#f/o scenarios#selfship positivity#fictional other#romantic f/o#platonic f/o#familial f/o#❤comfort#f/o community#self ship#self ship scenario#self ship writing#oc x f/o#oc x canon#comfort#reassurance#your f/o loves you#self shipping#yumeship community
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🐬🐙 a silent admiration,
A mini comic that I illustrated for Jeiazu June, featuring middle school Jade and Azul!
Jade loves Azul's tenacity. Azul's always accomplishes anything he sets his mind upon; it's what makes him fascinating. To stay at the side of someone with such resolve, surely there isn't anything in the world that they couldn't conquer together.
#twst#twisted wonderland#jeiazu#jeiazujune2024#jade leech#azul ashengrotto#ツイステ#twst fanart#ジェイアズ#// the blurb isn't particularly related to the work. but i felt like writing it anyways LOL.#kobanzme art
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“Oh, I’m sorry, baby. Want me to kiss it where it hurts?” Kirishima purrs up at you, his place between your thighs seemingly the closest thing he can get to ascension. His eyes are wide, his pupils blown out, any red swallowed up by the lust pooling in his eyes. he looks like the picture of adoration and worship, all faux worry and pure hunger as he bounces between your gaze and the pretty picture that twitches in front of his face. his eyes cross to watch the slick ooze from your hole, sighing.
“It’s the least you could do for me,” you pout to him, running your nails through his soft locks, tugging a little meanly at the root. “After using me like a toy on your cock for so long.” Your words are sighed wistfully, your eyes betraying just how much you want his mouth on you as he wants to taste you. Kiri moans at that, quiet and in the back of his throat, but you hear it none the less.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he repents, but it’s all for naught when his tongue laves over your sensitivity and doesn’t let up until you’re crying from the overstimulation once more. he’s so sorry—that you can only cum so many times before you tap out. he’s so sorry—that your thighs are more sore from tightening up around his head than his working jaw. he’s so sorry—that you’re so addicting, that he can lay between your legs until his last breath leaves him.
#I am so tired#I feel like I say that every time I write in the tags LOL SORRY#but today was so nice and it drained me in the good way lol#anyway I realized today that I don’t write enough for him by himself#and I felt guilty 😔#he’s just a big guy that doesn’t realize his own strength or stamina#and accidentally uses you like a little toy whenever he’s pent up#and he always tries to make it better with a kiss no matter where it’s at :(((#I love calling him big guy tho it’s my fav nickname#okay gn I sleeb now#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#kirishima treats! 🍬
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@xylo-phone @artchixs @reqfi
@pinkramiel @sadmages @art-in-progressosoup
@sketchmre @nessa-rpgs @hpkn
@the-mighty-glow-cloud @yarrow-leaf @st-rbiter
i hope i got all the names and urls right.... also if you don't follow my art blog you are probably mutuals with my main blog @ dirt-juice.... and if not then i have made a mistake 💀 sorry
#hi mutuals i never (/barely) talk to.....🧍♀️ (sweating)#i'm number one oc fan 🫡 i love all these guys...#mutuals if you wanna talk ocs........... hmu...... anytime..#hmm anyway i hope this is ok i know haven't really talked to some of you 💀 so i hope i'm not acting overly familiar#unrelated but writing just 'matt' for matt marja felt so weird ?? mr marja...#adding to the mallow tag like i said i would lol#also cain is so hard to draw for some reason....#btw sorry if we're mutuals and i didn't get to you 😔#edit: i hope the tagging works i had to space it out like that to get more than the first 4 blogs to be tagged ?? weird.
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it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏
#there’s a threshold I think of what I accept in comments about characters#and their actions or about who is in the wrong or what should happen#because I do like reading people’s opinions#and sometimes when someone is like I didn’t like obi-wan in this fic#I’m like makes sense! maybe you weren’t supposed to or maybe the argument they had was supposed to not be clear cut on who is right#because arguments in real life don’t always have a clear cut winner or morally superior person lmao#I’m ok with that I’m ok with comments saying boo this character is annoying#because sometimes they just are (eg the amount of people who just don’t like obiwan in pbatmb like?? yeah of course he’s not gonna be nice#but I digress lol#anyway but there’s a threshold of when comments about not liking a character go too far and you’re just like.#saying mean things about the writing itself and that’s not something lm gonna allow to be normalized#no matter the intention behind it#you do not type a comment like this knowing it wil be send to an author#who will get an email notification about a comment#click on it and go oooo long comment :D and then go oh.#you don’t do that it’s rude it’s being a jerk#I’ve been here for like 3 almost 4 years I feel ancient in this fandom sometimes#and I’ve gotten so much feedback on my work through that time and so many nice comments and community#but mean comments can really hurt especially new writers#and they can make people who maybe would write fic for a fandom decide to not#like this isn’t even that mean I can almost see the writer just wanting to say how they feel#but sometimes you do not have to 🙏#also I just think this understanding of the characterizations in the fic and probably their understanding of the characters in the films#is a wee bit trash but that’s for me to say in the long tags of my own blog post and not for me to comment on their fics for the fandom#(they don’t have any but I did check because 3am kit felt nosy)
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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throws fankids at you and runs
#blossick#boomubbles#butchercup#powerpuff girls#powerpuff oc#my art#i’ve always loved designing these but im always embarrassed to post them lol#they’re not super thought through or anything i was just doing whatever felt right#they are all named though . in my brain#ideally there’d be slight variation in their hair colors#bc i headcanon the boys to have a small difference in hair color from the girls#but i tend to avoid inserting that into my first time drawing a character design#uhhhh specific stuff i wanted to get in here#i feel like brick would pass his cap onto one of his kids just randomly#and i really wanted the boomubbles daughter to have pointy gravity defying pigtails#and the eldest green baby’s hair is based off of mandy a little#anyway. idk what else to write here#rate and subscribe thanks for watching#Bloom Utonium#Blaze Utonium#Blue Jojo#Buttons Jojo#Bopper Jojo#Bash Utonium-Jojo#Buster Utonium-Jojo#Breaker Utonium-Jojo#Bruiser Utonium-Jojo#Bug Utonium-Jojo
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thinking about. i dont know how to phrase this really but. chloe and frank.
like. when Chloe killed Frank i (, personally,) feel like her guilt from it was less because she killed Frank, and More because she Killed Someone (and their dog).
but!!! thats not to say she didnt feel guilty for killing Frank. because she definitely did. because on some level. despite everything. despite all of his shitty behavior. a part of her still cared for him. that tiny 15-17ish year old part in her still cared for him.
because that 15-17ish year old with intense abandonment issues in her only had. a small handful of people in her life that actually cared for her, and when THOSE few people aren’t even doing the best job at it— it’s no shit that Chloe’s standards for Good Friends are going to be Immensely dropped.
and so. it’s kind of like what happened with Rachel, but WAY less intense. when she found someone who didn’t hate her, and was willing to hang around her—after so so long of people hating her and not wanting to be around her— it makes sense that part of her would kinda latch onto them a little bit.
and so, even after all of the shit she’s learned he did— even when Frank starts to hate her— even when he threatens Max and her’s lives— part of her keeps remembering him as one of the few guys who stuck around when no one else did.
it’s just that. no matter how bad the person— if you’ve known someone for years, and they were one of the only nice people to you in a town where theres like. four people that are nice to you— it’s gonna hurt if you kill them. even if it was self defense. even if it was entirely their own fault— even if you two aren’t on even remotely good terms anymore.
ESPECIALLY for such a sentimental person like Chloe. taking that in consideration it makes me wonder. maybe she didn’t feel bad for killing Frank. maybe she felt bad for killing the person Frank used to be to her. but maybe she realized that That Frank already died long ago.
but yeah. im mentally ill. take everything i said with a grain of salt considering it is 12:07 AM.
#my thoughts are a mixture of coherentness but also just enough of radio static that i cant write much of it out Correctly#but anyways dont you think it’s a little fucked that.#and maybe im reading it wrong but#like.#she really wanted to be friends with him in bts#she was really put that position#god idk#feel free to discuss about the whole. “chloe felt bad for killing Somebody not just frank” thing. that’s not something im 100% set in stone#with LOL. im open to other interpretations of it#that isnt to say the rest of this isnt open to discussion— but that part In Particular is#this post is mostly about how ��frank was chloes friend” more than anything#it’s about how. out of the entire town. the shitty drug dealer is one of the guys who gives an actual shit about her#and about how. something happened in between BTS and LIS to make them hate eachother#like YES the 5000 dollar debt but that just CANT be it can it? was it rachel’s disappearance that destroyed them?#or did frank start declining after the whole dameon thing??? WHAT CHANGED THEM…..#anyways im sure im not the first to think of this and im ready to hear other peoples opinions on it#SCREAMING AND CRYING BC CHLOE IS LITERALLY SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER BUT PEOPLE ARE TOO MISOGYNISTIC TO SEE IT RAHGDHSGSHGA#if i had a nickel for every time i said “even” “despite” or “because” in this post i’d be rich#life is strange is a game about tragedy. and. misogyny.#ALSO TAKE IN CONSIDERATION. if u read this far.#that chloe likely met frank Before she was Really Truly convinced that there was zero hope for her to find somebody who cared for her#so it took a lot less effort for someone like frank to leave an imprint on chloe atp of her life.#and also partly why it was So Much More intense with rachel#hoping to god this is coherent#lis#life is strange#chloe price#frank bowers#rachel amber#…. i really doubt it will happen
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Sakura comes home after the second stage of the chunin exams with her hair short and her face set with grim determination to be stronger.
Her mother is distraught, eyes the choppy bob critically, before letting it go and telling her that it'll grow back quickly. She's young, after all, and her hair has always grown quickly.
But Sakura keeps trimming it, never letting it grow back out to the length that she was so proud of before. She feels freer without it, somehow. Her head is lighter, no longer pulled down by the weight of thick hair and people’s expectations.
It doesn't matter any more when people eye her bruised knuckles, the scars scattered on her body, the eyebags from long shifts at the hospital.
Short hair is more practical for a shinobi, after all. At least, that's what she tells her mother. They've never met the Hyuuga, so it doesn't matter if it isn't necessarily true.
Besides, Sakura isn't Neji, with his impenetrable defenses. She's a brawler with fists that punch through rock and shatter bones, and she cannot afford for someone to grab the hair that would whip around in the devastating blasts left in her wake.
Sometimes, she can still feel the Sound shinobi's hand in her hair, the burning pain in her scalp. Lee and Naruto unconscious on the ground and her weak, useless body trembling in fear.
Other nights, she feels the cold wind, a gentle pinch and a murmured "thank you" on the back of her neck. She sees Naruto's wide smile, a promise to bring him back to her, back to the village. Naruto and Sasuke with their backs to her, always in front, always walking away, leaving her behind.
Sakura trains with a savage ferocity that few can match. She needs to be better, always moving forward, so that some day, she can overtake Naruto and Sasuke.
There are times that she wakes up with a scream caught in her throat, hand reaching for a kunai pouch that isn't there. She gets up and sneaks out, runs to the mountains behind Hokage rock and pummels the rocks until her fists are bloody and her fears are assuaged. The weak little girl died in the Forest of Death, cut out of her along with the long pink locks she discarded.
The weight that was holding her back is gone. She will not be left behind. Never again.
#sakura haruno#ignore me using sakura as a vehicle to explore my own feelings about cutting all my hair off#this is rushedly written as a warm-up either way so#anyway I think about sakura cutting her hair a lot. in my experience it was like getting rid of a part of yourself#maybe im being overdramatic here lol but long hair was always an expectation for me and for the longest time I was so proud of#i hated taking care of it but i loved having it and I loved how other people looked at me and were like 'wow your hair is so long and prett#but because of that i stuck to being feminine and pretty and palatable because I needed people to like me and think of me as pretty#i think when i started realizing i was nb and butch i was so upset at first because how would people like me and think i was pretty#and then eventually i got over it when I cut my hair for the first time. genuinely felt like cutting off people's expectations of me#leaving me free to be myself unapolagetically. to be fair i cut my hair twice. once in the bisexual bob and the second as a boycut#and the second time led me to a Gender Euphoria Moment. that was cool. and so now I keep my hair short.#enjoy the deep chandu lore in the tags i guess#erumai writes fic sometimes
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kinktober day 3: vanilla
roachghost for vanilla because vanilla is a sweet flavor and i love it on them <3
also this was very much inspired by @lokibus-writes because her roachghost is simply to die for!!!!!!!!
read on AO3
nonsenseafterdarks prompt list!
additional tags: missionary, anal, lots of kissing, mute roach
word count: 966
the cabin they were staying at was cozy and small, just one large living area and a bedroom with an en suite. roach had picked the location for their first leave together, knowing that even though he wouldn't ask for it, ghost would appreciate something tucked away and romantic.
sure enough, as soon as they got there, ghost had been obviously taken with the place, despite not saying very much beyond "this is nice." but roach knew he was excited when he immediately started to go unpack, putting their clothes into the small dresser and their toiletries in the bathroom while roach started making dinner.
that had been a few hours ago, and now they were in bed, shirtless, ghost on his back under roach, kissing sweet and a bit giddy at finally being alone together in a non-military setting.
roach kissed over ghosts cheek to his neck, smiling at the giggles it pulled out of him.
"tickles, bug," ghost laughed, but roach just matched the giggling and pressed a firmer kiss against his throat.
"you wanna help me get my trousers off?" ghost asked, running his palms over roach's bare chest.
roach sat back onto ghost's thighs. always, beautiful, he signed, before dropping his hands to undo the button and zipper on ghosts jeans. ghost blushed and watched for a moment while roach shuffled around as he worked ghosts jeans down, leaving just his boxer briefs that were tented up at the front with his erection.
he quickly took his own trousers off before he was back on ghost, kissing him and letting their dicks frot against each other through their underwear. he breathed in the soft moan ghost let out; he always loved the little sounds his boyfriend let out when they made love like this, all sweet soft pleasure.
they stayed like that for a bit, just kissing and rubbing against each other, chest to chest, hands gently exploring each other with the almost timid gentleness of a first time, despite this being far from their first.
after a bit, ghost ran his hands down roach's sides and slipped his fingertips into the waistband of roach's underpants. "off?" he asked quietly.
roach nodded, working them off before gently tugging on ghosts.
"please," ghost said, lifting his hips up slightly to help roach get them off easier.
once they were off, ghost parted his legs a bit while roach grabbed the lube off the side table. he held up his arms to invite roach back in, eager to feel the warmth and weight of his lover again.
roach obliged happily, quickly getting a slick finger over ghosts entrance, grinning at the happy hum ghost let out at the sensation.
you like that? he asked.
"i like you," ghost said, "you know i love anything as long as its with you."
roach kissed him again and pushed the tip of his finger in, slowly working his way in while ghost rocked his hips back to get him in deeper.
they took their time until roach had three fingers in him and ghost was panting hard against him, clipped moans coming out with every thrust of roach's hand.
roach paused for a second, looking at him questioningly.
"i'm ready," ghost breathed, "go ahead."
roach pulled his fingers out and got more lube to slick his cock up, quickly working to line himself up. he looked back up at ghost, who nodded hard.
leaning forward, roach pushed his tip in, sighing over ghost's lips as he worked his way inside.
ghost let his head fall back into the bed, closing his eyes to soak in the way it felt: the satisfying fullness, the softness of their bodies against each other, the gentle feel of every shared breath.
he shivered at the smooth slide of roach's cock when he pulled back until just his tip was inside, parting his legs wider when roach thrust back in.
"so good," he breathed, "fuck; you always feel so good."
roach bit his lip as he started setting a rhythm, tapping ghost in the middle of the chest: you.
ghost pulled him closer into another kiss, deep and passionate, only breaking it with a shaky moan when roach reached down to wrap a hand around his cock to work him in time with his thrusting.
"just like that, fuck," ghost almost whispered, panting against roach's lips as he began moving faster, "don't stop, fuck don't stop - "
roach thrust in hard and kept it there, grinding up to find ghost's prostate until he was squeezing around his cock and crying out underneath him, legs tight around roach's waist until he was spilling over his hand and onto his own stomach, gasping deep breaths of air while roach carefully stroked him through it.
he kissed down ghost's neck and started moving again, wishing he could make it last forever...but seeing and feeling ghost get off always left him close, feeling him tense and relax and release -
"come on , bug, please, please i want it so badly, fuck i wanna feel you all the way inside me, god i love you - "
roach let out a harsh whine into the side of ghost's neck and his hips almost slammed into ghosts, pulsing hard and deep inside him. he felt ghosts chest rising and falling with heavy, satisfied sighs at the feeling of being so deeply entwined with each other.
they stayed like that for a time, just breathing each other in, allowing themselves the slow, gentle closeness and intimacy that military life so frequently denied them.
"love you," ghost quietly murmured into roach's ear, wanting to say it but not wanting to disturb the peaceful quiet of the room.
roach smiled and kissed him, pulling back a bit to free his hands. love you, simon.
#hardstyle's kinktober 2024#kinktober 2024#kinktober#roachghost#ghostroach#i like them having sweet vanilla missionary#gary roach sanderson#simon ghost riley#roach x ghost#ghost x roach#roast#roach cod#cod roach#call of duty roach#roach call of duty#im so used to writing fuckin depravity that this was genuinely a little challenging for me#in a good way#but like. kinda made me stop and think about myself for a second lol. anyway#sorry i said the word lover#ive literally never *ever* used that word in a fic before ever because i. do not love it#but. it fits and its nice in context here i think#also hardstyle not using the word hole ONCE in a piece????? insane#also cis ghost feels SO weird to write but. idk i felt like mixing it up a little#at least one (many) of these will be t4t/t4t4t so. prepare#i have to be honest i could have written this to be like twice as long but i made myself keep some of the stuff a little shorter#cause i got 28 prompts to go lol
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i know i said i wouldnt be ranting about totk anymore, but i realized i didnt really count the sage dungeons as story (dont ask me why) so i thought im gonna write a better summarized version of my opinion about totk (i have around 60% of the game, all lightroots, not yet all shrines (missing like .. 20 or so, know the reward), not all krogs (dont know the reward), not all mayoi (half know the reward?) )
(in no particular order)
good stuff (in my opinion)
the. MUSIC! god the music is good, it was good in botw too but now with much more different bosses it really is probably one of my fav soundtracks of all time (most fav are all three phases of the end fight, the pre-fight to that, the build up one before all of those, Frosgeira (wind tempel boss) the glorious mASTER KOGA and more tbh)
the build up and end boss fight(s) are fantastic, i dont think im ever not gonna have my heart racing when approaching it (despite now skipping almost the entire way bc i set a teleport thing right before it) just bc the build up is so well made and the music(again) is such a banger and the fight(s) itself is so fun too, tbh i keep wanting to play it just bc its so fun
i LOVE how many themes play into the music (endfight alone had so many layers, fav probably is ganondorfs classic theme and calamity ganons both in the same piece among much more, and daruks theme in the fire temple)
(edit) YOU. CAN. TOUCH. DA. DRAGONS!!!!
ganondorf
ganondorfs design (x3)
ganondorfs weapon designs
ganondorfs voice (japanese)
everyone elses voice (japanese)
all voices (german)
thE YIGA!!! i love everythign about them and am so happy they got to be more than just some mini mission
(edit) also the fact that they get zonau tech to work without any special ghost powers is so ????
(edit) koga can summon and use zonau tech unlimited?? hes so cool
NO stealth mission!! (as far as im aware)
bosses are very different from each other
main dungeons are not too short and not too long and mostly fun (mostly bc i personally didnt like the gerudo one), i love that you can still somewhat cheese them and do them your way
sages felt like they got a bit more involved
(edit) you gotta do more stuff before getting to the actual dungeons and i really like that, feels less like a fetch quest but that you are actually helping
(edit) each sage is actually there in the dungeon and is required for it, which is great!
each settlement saw a much bigger danger/change (tho that has more impact if you have played botw) and its problems felt much more real
shrines are well varied tho i think overall a little easy (only got stuck on two so far and later solved them easily bc when i first started them i was tired and exhausted, no brain left lol)
NPCs felt less flat + more bigger sidequests that felt like they had more impact
cool new monsters + designs
the underground was pretty appropiately creepy
the sages abilities are neat
you can refight bosses!!
stable points system is a neat way to encourage you using them
weapon fusing is neat
(edit) the forest of the krogs being corrupted like that is both creepy and a neat nod to oot
(edit) the vai gerudo outfit being gone!! (one) evil has been defeated
(edit) the health bar going so far off the middle in ganondorfs second phase is honestly just funny hnjdfdjk unfortunate that you only need the master sword and with a few perfect dodges his health melts like butter in the summer
(edit) the music when dragondorf transforms sounds so sad .. its probably meant as a oh no world is actually ending sad but i like to think of it as a oh god what did he do to himself sad
the scene where rauru seals ganondorf kinda fruity
(graphic, animations and the overall world is still fantastic)
bad stuff (in my opinion)
everything zonau they feel forced into every bit of the world and its history (i know them being somewhat alien is intentional but not like that) it feels crammed into places they werent before and shouldnt be and it makes it all feel very artificial
the glyphs/dragon tears/memories really ruined alot for me, while it gave you insight as to what happened, it felt like it showed you too much and too little at the same time and i think it would have worked better if it was all in text for once if even at all, so the past stil stayed a mystery and youd be left wondering
timetravel .. really wasnt necessary and felt more like an excuse to get rid of zelda + make her the poor little sacrificial girl again + and to make her turning into a dragon as tragic as possible, like nothing but a stepping stone to the big reveal tm
shiekah tech being not just fully irrelevant but practically erased, wiped off the world (i know about the literally last guardian parts in hateno, it feels more like an oversight tbh, purah technically using it ... tho i dont think she ever calls it that, the purah pad is jsut the sheikah stone but worse), there being no good explanation, no remains, nothing as to why it would suddendly stop working and why even the titans and ESPEICALLY the shrine of life would be destroyed, if anything why wouldnt you enshrine it as a memento to history it was such a focus in botw and so well integrated into the world that it being fully gone, not even old overgrown, or visibly reused to build homes etc., or remains of how they built the og shrines in the underground feels like a HUGE missed opportunity (seriously it would have been so easy to make the ancient shiekah base their tech on old zonau tech, without stealign the gocus but buildign a connection)
all of the continuity problems, totk feels like botw didnt happen and the excuse of 'they didnt want to confuse new players' doesnt make a lick of sense in my eyes bc; its supposed to be a sequel, if you want it to be a standalone game then dont call it a sequel- if you start to play a game with the sequel instead of the first part its your own damn fault if you get confused; if anything, it would have been a good opportuntiy to make people interested in botw so theyd buy and play that one too
ganondorfs character is very flat, you basically get to know nothing about him (yuno even calls that out midgame but its never elaborated upon nhgfrdfhkk)
the zonau and their kingdom of hyrule is presented as this so perfectly good thing to such a degree it turns creepy, the end cutscene with mineru going poof was kinda uncomfy to watch tbh
the reward for all shrines being essentially a reveal as to who the hero in the tapestry was and it being, of course, some weird half zonau is the lamest answer to a mystery i didnt want an anwser too, it doesnt feel like it came naturally either (again my point of the zonau being forced into everything)
the shrines (zonau) feel so much more unnatural than the shiekah shrines, alien in a bad way and not in a good way + really are like a bad reskin of them, their sudden appearance and use is so much less logical
back in botw i was doubtful of if the shiekah tech wasnt going to far too modern tech and cause it all to feel like a bad mix of modern tech and medival fantasy, but they balanced it perfectly (tho the eponator zero was very much the limit imo) but the zonau tech .... oversteps that line i think, it really does feel, more than anything else, that it was just bc they wanted the stuff to be in there bc it might be fun to play around with, im not against that kind of stuff mind you im all for fun, but it feels a little like they thought of a box with endless stuff to play with first and a zelda game second (if you get what i mean)
quite a few quests or things in the game seem like they are more and then end in a dead end (the worst of all is impa saying she wants to go research what could help zelda turn back, and i was excited and convinced that shed give me a quest to find some mcguffin that would do that after i beat ganon but there wasnt anything you could actually do; less bad one but disappointing nonetheless the dongos were mentioned and treated like this big awesome thing from alot of NPCs all around the map and then when you find them they are bascially just gem vending maschines)
the way zelda turns back and link gets his arm back is incredibly unsatisfying, none of them even have something like a scar, or mark from it all, zelda spent thousands of years as a dragon (a transformation that was said to cost your soul but i guess that wasnt true) and link had his arm bascially eaten by miasma and he gets it back like it was never lost, zelda returns all intact as if nothing happened, getting blasted by some magic tm by two ghosts that were supposed to be long gone is the solution to all problems!!
(edit) link losing an arm wouldnt just be super intersting but also lend itself well to lead up into the next game where his prothesis is the focus and source of abilities
(edit) zelda got done so dirty, instead of her actual interests and character to shine she just gets shoved into yet another crisis surrounded by strangers in a world that looks like hers but isnt, and all she does is beg the ancient sages to swear to help link and sacrifice herself again (can you call that fridging? bc she sure feels like she got fridged) i like zelda and i dont like how much i didnt care about her and tbh im angry at the game for that
(edit) both link and zelda not even slightly changing in the years btween botw and totk kinda boring, like a haircut can only do so much
(edit) sonia really is the wife that dies to make husband sad thing isnt she? i get that gan had to get his hands on an enigma stone but i feel like there had been better ways to do that, the fact that she dies that easily is almost funny honestly, why does ganondorf even have weapons when he can just one punch people to death (tho i find it funny to imagine he can literally just kill people in one punch but hes too prideful to do it most of the time so he always uses weapons to look more cool)
(edit) so many new characters that you barely get to see or interact with, i really ... couldnt get myself to care much
(edit) zonau tech being so irrelevant to the games story while its also the focus is .. weird, its really just play doh for the players and nothing else honestly
(edit) monsters mining sonanium feels strange bc ... they dont do anything with it? the best thing i can think of is that they were told to do that so link cant .. upgrade his battery thignies? but then again you could just destroy the mines and remaining constructs to stop it .... also you really dont need anything zonau tech related to beat gan?
(edit) ganondorf beign so utterly uninterested in their tech is weird considering how he dealt with shiekah tech (and we KNOW it can get corrupted) he should be a tech nerd tbh
my twitch VoD of the first time beating the game getting muted at the credits despite me talking over it
nitpicks (in my opninion)
(edit) ganondorf should have a bit more of a boar inspired design, as treat, i think
(edit) the enigma stone wandering back to ganondorfs forehead even after transforming is? weird? i guess an excuse for da epic last stabby but still? (how cool would it have been to have to plunge into his mouth and break it there or something)
(edit) the underground gets a lil old after a while, the fact that its pretty much the same everywhere aside from some .. very strange flowing magma is a lil boring
(edit) ganondorf could have gone way more crazy with abilities and all that, imagine hed spwan multiple miasma arms on himself when you get him to a certain level of health
(edit) i miss unique weapons, there arent even normal axes around anymore, everything is about fusing really, i miss the cool shiekah tech weapons
(edit) the forest of the krogs being largely irrelevant is kinda weird
(edit) mineru being the sage of spirit still is kinda meh, the robot is neat but i thought tauro or purah would be the surprise sage tbh
(edit) the bosses were a little easy (i did boldo gohma rather early and did it without even getting hit)
you cant talk to koga normally :(
you cant find koga again after the last fight :(
you cant refight him (to my knowledge) :(
i find it very strange that yuno seemingly lost daruk shield, despite him having inhereted it in botw
the sage powers are not .. very great integrated, while its fun to haven them run around and help you fight, to actually use their powers you have to chase after them, something that in the heat of a battle is very annoying to do, constantly activating the wrong on or them losing their charge up when they get knocked over is like trying to herd a wild pack of geese while a three headed dragon is shotting laserbeams at you
some widlife just disappearing all of the sudden is very strange (like the rhino in hebra)
some new houses or settlements would have been cool, that the material things at the sides of roads are really only for you to play around with and not to build anything that lasts
you cant fight ganondorf (non dragon, even the dragon is locked to that evening sky) in the sunlight, night or rain, i would have loved to fight him at various times of day
their refusal to show any kind of blood is honestly turnign serious scenes into very awkward ones, sonia just getting punched and she dies with not even like, losing some spit from the force or something, or the fact when you defeat ganondorfs second phase he acts mortally wounded but doesnt even look scratched is just :/
amiibo stuff while neat being included its really mostly just bloating your inventory, if i wanted 5 vaguely different link outfits then i would have gotten the amiibo for it
why hide the -now-totally-not-phantom-ganon-armor- behind such a long questline and then .. have that NOT be upgradable
they put in a house building thingy and then not let you have a roof or a tree or something :(
at some point stable points jsut get you more and more of those free staying over night tickets that i maybe used .. once at the very start and now its just accumulating in my inventory
only one new horse coat pattern :(
satori now only being a thingy that shows you caves is kinda boring, i loved the mystery around it in botw (additionally, that it shows you caves you have completed already kinda sucks)
the end of the shrines isnt that cool anymore, speaking to a mummified monk that gives you essentially his last remains of life energy is so much cooler than a statue of the oh so awesome god king and his wife
the many references and reuse of old names is neat but together with timetravel etc. it easily leads to confusing and fighting among fans for who is more 'right' and its just .. tiring
(edit) considering how much of the advertising was about the sky islands i wished there were more and bigger ones, the underground (that was a little one sided after a while, it all looking the same rly) could have been alot smaller if the sky was bigger instead
(edit) i wished there was more of a sense of .. lost life in the ruins you find, from all races, the ancient ruins are jsut some bridged and ceremonial stuff and i wished there were more like .. houses, like people actually lived there and it not being all around beign a platform for you
(edit) the fact that the half zonau hero exists mean either rauru and sonia had kids but those were clearly not important enough to ever show nor mention, or there were other mixing of them before they all mysteriously died out the fact that the ancient hero was half zonau means their genes survided till then but somehow it never came up? the tapestry still exists and impa and purah say like its a well known fact that the hero looked like that (not at all close to any modern species) when you talk to them while wearing it (the fact that the hero armor thingy is very reminiscemt of ganondorf is like some backtreading bc we were theorizing about the hero having been ganondorf once and they wanted to stop that .. but the more funny thing is the HC of its a descdendet of rauru and ganondorf nhjdfknhdgkfnhkfd) (edit to add to the HC; the game being a big battle about child support is funnier than it should be idk if nintendo knew what they were doing adding details like that)
all in all it just feels like missed opportunities, lost potential, and more a game build around some game mechanics they really wanted to get into than telling a neat story, espeically so bc they called it a sequel, most of my complaints wouldnt be there if it was some alternate thing instead
i probably forgot stuff but if i think of more i will add them later with a little note that it was added in an edit (sidenote, i find it funny how much more nuance that whole conflict would get if rauru and ganondorf were bitter exes bfdrjfbdfndk)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#totk spoilers#i felt like i was beign a little unfair#so i wanted to make a summary#tha took me hours to write#and is again long as shit#whoop#long post#this isnt a complete list iether bc that would be even longer and take even longer nhdjkkd#i wanted to do comic works damn it#anyway this is the last long post about this#bc im moving on now#...its half inspired by people respondign to me with -what how can you not like totks story but then like botws lol wtf-#well i do#*shrugs*
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wip wednesday (early cause im offline tmrw)
When the dust settles, Obi-Wan is surprised to find himself still standing.
It takes all of him, he thinks, the end of the war. It takes everything he has.
He used to wonder, in a distant, nebulous way, what it would feel like in the aftermath. How his life would return to the routines he held before Geonosis, if the cadence of Temple life would feel strange and unfamiliar to him after so long spent in the trenches. If he would miss the sound of his men behind and around him, the steady stream of words and laughter and presence of others, at all times, surrounding him.
It’s only when the dust settles, when the first grains of sand whip through the arid desert air to sting his eyes, that he realizes that every time he ever allowed himself to think about the end of the war, he’d always assumed that they would win. He had never truly thought they would be defeated. That the Jedi Order, the Temple itself, so strongly entrenched in the galaxy and in Coruscant and in Obi-Wan’s world view, were capable of falling.
He had cautioned others against the same assumptions the moment he heard them. He had warned his own padawan to not look too far into the future, to not plan too much for the war’s end. He had told many people���clones, civilians, holonet reporters, other Jedi—that it was dangerous to think of the war as something they would inevitably win. Nothing was inevitable, especially not victory.
But he realizes now, only now, only as he traverses the desert on the back of a stolen eopie, wearing robes still smelling so strongly of volcanic sulfur that his eyes are stinging with reactionary tears, that he’d thought. He’d always thought.
He’d never really considered…this.
This aftermath, where he is still standing on shaking legs and everything that he has ever cared for in the world has become ash, has become the dust settling around him.
Everything he has ever known and loved and fought for has slipped through his fingers. When the dust settles, when he looks down at his hands, he expects to find them empty.
Instead, there is a baby in his arms.
And he knows—he knows intimately how much damage these hands are capable of. What hurt these hands can inflict even on those he loves. Loved.
He knows, as the homestead rises up in the fading light of the two suns, that these hands should not cradle this baby. Not the son of the man he has murdered. Not his brother’s son. Not his padawan’s. Not Anakin’s.
He knows the babe is safest here on this farm in the care of this couple. He knows he must leave the child with them, to raise and love a thousand times better than he is capable of. He has tried before. He has failed one Skywalker already.
He knows.
And he can’t. He cannot let him go.
While the Galactic empire rises on one side of the galaxy, the dust settles on the other and Obi-Wan Kenobi looks down at the babe in his hands and realizes that he cannot let him go.
Not another Skywalker.
#omg i went to tag this obikin and then realized that it's like#only obikin implied#it's finally a canon compliant until the last scene of rots fic from me :0#anyway#obikin#fuck it it felt weird lol it's the fic where obi-wan decides to raise luke#and talks to him to keep from going insane in the first few months after the war ends#because he's a baby so he wont be able to repeat or remember anything#so obi-wan can just get a whole lot off of his chest#and then luke sort of vaguely remembers that obi-wan is in love with his dad later#not because he ever said it but because he felt all that love in the force as a baby#the last angsty thing i write for february!!
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