#but I don't think I'll do it again. and I can't keep lying to myself that it'll ever happen

[twisting-roads]

In my years of spending my life around so many animals, I've realized that... I don't want to keep pets. Despite how much I love animals I don't have the ability to be responsible for another living creature for such a long period of time. If the responsibility was split between multiple people then yes I wouldn't mind, but a pet that's ENTIRELY my responsibility I don't have the Capacity to always keep track of

I've had multiple animals (reptiles and arthropods) die by my forgetfulness and I feel fucking Awful about it and still wouldn't own anything past an isopod colony, which even then requires a ton of care I can't provide!

There's so many unnecessary deaths by my hands and I don't want it to happen anymore. I've tried to educate myself about the animals that I own, but I forget everything and am not a reliable person for these things on my own. Not impulse buying and preparing was what I thought would help but I was just not made for this

I'm mostly writing this as some Admission of how much I keep fucking up. Maybe someone else will read this and think about their limits as an animal owner. Because I've definitely found mine

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery

Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3

tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood

Bisuke: Gai's Back!

Gai: GRAAH!

Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,

Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?

Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.

Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then

Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!

Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry

Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.

Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.

Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners

Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it

Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...

Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.

Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"

Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]

Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?

Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken

Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that

[kurokawaia]

DAY TWENTY THREE - BABY TRAPPING 彡 Aizen Sosuke

WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more

| WC :: 2.8k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list

You knew about Aizen, what he wanted to achieve-you were the only person he had told apart from three others. You were going to go ahead and help him make this dream a reality. To be in the company of Aizen was to be with a God-the level of control he had, it scared you, couldn't tell if you felt safe too. He's always there to protect you, keeps you hidden away so you can't get hurt. Still, something has always been a bit off about him; you noticed it, how his eyes would follow your every move, every breath. It started innocently enough with Aizen as a perfect gentleman, never forcing and yet giving you just enough space to feel independent. Subtle changes began to happen over time. "Are you going out again?" Aizen's voice came out soft, he is masking his disapproval, he's waiting for the right moment to force you to stay with him. You lifted your gaze from the mirror in front of you and finished styling out your hair. "Just for a little while. Soon I will be back." His eyes stayed on you a moment, his smile false as he stared at you. "I worry about you," he said, moving in behind you and setting his hands on your shoulders before trailing off down to your hands. "The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not always going to be here to protect you. You're only a healer, you can't do much, my love." Comforting, even, his words were sweet. You think. A lump, tense feeling began to grow in your stomach but you laughed it off, brushing his hands with a soft touch. "I'll be fine, Sosuke! I can take care of myself." But the seed had been sown. Over weeks, he came further into your life, and what you used to decide for yourself would, it seemed henceforth, have first to pass through him. And he keeps reminding you so often with a soft chuckle that he wants nothing but the best for you. "You know, you need to take more rest," Aizen said to you one night while doing reports. He leaned over you with his hand tucked in the back of your nemaki, drawing circles, almost to sooth you. "All this stress isn't good for your health." You faltered, words caught in your throat. "I need to finish this." "You don't," he returned smoothly. His fingers closed over your shoulder, tightening just a fraction. "What you need is to unwind. I don't like seeing you overexerting yourself." Before he could object further, he leaned forward and rolled the scroll shut before taking it in his hands. "I'll take care of everything," he whispered. "Just trust me." At first, it was very easy to confuse his overprotectiveness with care. He was attentive, loving in his own peculiar way. Before long, the control started to become more evident with each passing day. 

He never raised his voice nor did he yell. He didn't have to. His words had been enough to lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. And they were so gradual besides, too slight, almost imperceptible. He started taking you away from your friends, from your captain, your lieutenant, subtly making you feel they were not people you should trust. "They don't understand you the way I do," he'd say stroking your hair as you lay in his arms. "They'll only hold you back." And when you fell, he'd lift your chin so it faced his eyes, the skin of your forehead grazing his lips in a feather-soft touch. "I only want what's best for you." You had begun to lean on him, questioning your choices, and if indeed you really knew what was best for you. Then you went to Aizen to see if it was okay-the things you were doing. Aizen had this way of speaking, as though he was the only one who knew you. Lying beside him in bed, as night fell, you said what was pent up inside your mind, "Aizen, am I the only one who thinks this all went a bit too fast? I feel like... I'm losing myself." His response was immediate. "You aren't losing yourself, my love, you're finding who you're really supposed to be. With me, you don't have to worry about a thing. Always, I will take care of you," he says with a softness, but his words are like honey. Still, with those words somehow, it sent shivers down your spine. That was when the future conversations started, light at first, talks about what life could be if you stayed together. A house, peaceful life, children. "You'd make a great mother," he said one afternoon as his eyes latched onto yours. "Can't you imagine building a life with me?" Your heart had skipped a beat, but there was a growing discomfort. "Perhaps someday, but I don't know if I'm ready for that as yet." Aizen didn't press the issue then, but the subject kept coming up. He'd casually touch your belly, remark on how ideal it would be to have a family, how complete your bond would be if you were tied together in every possible way. "It's natural to be wary," Aizen told you one evening while you sat before the fireplace. His hand lay limply on your thigh, his thumb tracing soft patterns. "But do think about it. A child would only strengthen our love. We'd be forever bound." You laughed a little nervously and brushed the suggestion aside. "That's a big step, Aizen. I'm just not sure I'm ready." He smiled gently, his eyes concealing something, something that you don't notice. "You will see, in time, it is the best thing that can happen to us." You didn't know that in his mind, a decision was already made.

Aizen and you have had sex multiple times, so it isn't a rare occurrence for the two of you to have sex at least once a day, at the least, it would be once every two days. But, Aizen makes sure to leave you every night, making sure that you are so fucked out due to pleasure that you forget to notice particular things. 

Specifically, something that is about to happen tonight. 

Your arms are pinned above your head, as Aizen's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more.

 A moan left your mouth as your back arched to his touch. Your reaction made Aizen press down slightly more, and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.

You felt his fingers slide down, and he found your seeping hols drenched with arousal. A finger slowly slid inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Aizen asked, and you nodded frantically.

"F-Fuck... feels so good, Sosuke," you whimpered as he started to slowly pump in and out your soaked walls.

"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.

Overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and intensity, it leaves you unable to hold back your moans. You lean your lips against his shoulder, muffling those sounds that burst from deep inside you. His fingers delve deep inside your core, firing a flame that engulfs every thought. Every movement, every curl sends shockwaves of pleasure across your body.

You let go and surrender to his intoxicating rhythm of touches. The junction of his skilled fingers with the intensity of our connection cossets you closer to the edge and teetering on the precipice of release. It was just a pure moment of bliss, where time seemed to stand still, filled completely with an overwhelming pleasure that coursed through the veins.

With Aizen's fingers pumping in and out of your seeping hole relentlessly, there was a familiar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, and pleasure that had tightened inside your stomach. You wrap your shaking legs around him, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure overflows. Anticipation ripples your body, reacting to every single one of his touches and movements.

You chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you whole.

At your pleading, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice husky with desire. His thumb starts pressing your clit with its fleshy pad, another layer added onto the sensations that are already so intense. The touch is electrifying, your back arches in response.

"Please, Sosuke," you sob. "I need to..."

"Let your body take over for you, you want this and I've got you," Aizen reassured, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.

Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. You managed to release myself from Aizen's neck and move away from his hold.

"Feeling alright?" Aizen asks cupping my cheeks.

"...yeah..." you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. Aizen makes you feel so good, all the time, always focusing n your own pleasure, it's like he's trying to win you over for something, to distract you from something-

"There is more coming," Aizen said slowly, his brown eyes piercing into your own and they widened.

"More?" you tease, "What possibly could you give me more of?"

"So much, my love," Aizen hums. "Just let yourself loose, don't focus on anything, just on the pleasure I will give."

He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Aizen's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.

Aizen moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against yours and you whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up agasint your stomach. His lips mingled with yours his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to go explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.

Aizen groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his chocolte and your other wrapped around behind his neck.

His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.

"Look at you," he teases. "Trembling under my touch."

Aizen pants against your lips and you didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "Please," I whimper out.

"Hmm?"

"I want you...." you mumble. "Stop teasing me."

Aizen kissing your forehead like you were a child who listened to their parent. "Good girl."

He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.

"Oh, you feel so good," Aizen whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."

You moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.

You feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Your moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Aizen held on your thigh and waist to tighten.

The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Aizen continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.

"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-" you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Aizen's bare chest causing Aizen to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you.

You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Aizen leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure. 

Effectively distracting you as he cums half in your cunt and the rest all over your stomach. He mimics that he's pulled out when in reality, he's got you filled with his seed, ready for you to bare his child.

-------------------------------------------------

 Aizen watched you from his chair.. "You're shaking, dear. What's going through your mind?" His voice was smooth, treacherous in a way that completely made it impossible for you to feel anything but relaxed and on edge all at once.

"I-I just don't understand...," you stammered, your hand falling to rest on your stomach, that for the last couple of weeks had started to show the signs of the life growing inside you. "How could this have happened? We were careful..."

Aizen chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, my love. Did you truly think I would leave something so important to chance? This was always a part of the plan."

You froze, your mind racing. "Wha... what do you mean?"

He stood, moving towards you with the grace of a predator stalking his prey. His hand cupped your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I made it happen. I want you bound to me in every way possible. You're mine now-mind, body, and soul."

It swept over you, you realise everything now. Every sweet word, every tender touch, was all an act to trap you. And in one swell, tears began to well within your eyes, but a gentle smiling Aizen wiped them away.

"There is no reason to cry, dear, this is for the best. Now you shall never leave me. You shall carry my child, and we will be bound together, forever." His lips pressed against your forehead. Your breath hitched as his hand slipped into your stomach. How had you not seen this all along? All those nights he had held you close, whispering sweet promises to your ear-all part of his carefully designed trap. He straightened, watching your. "You're too precious to let slip away. You see that, don't you?" His fingers brushed your skin. "You planned this," I whispered, more for my benefit than his. "You wanted this all along..."

Aizen smiled. "Of course. You really didn't think I'd leave a thing like that to chance, did you? I have always had a vision for us-a future wherein you would be mine-completely." You took another step backward, feeling the beating of your heart within your chest, but there was nowhere to go. "What if I don't want it?" you whispered almost soundlessly. "You are emotional now. Understandably so. But time will let you see this as precisely what you need." His voice was coaxing, speaking as he would to a frightened child. You shook your head, fighting down the panic rising into your throat. "I don't want to be trapped like this, Aizen. You can't just take away my choices." Aizen's hand rose to your chin, the pad of his thumb tipping your face upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Oh my love, I have not taken anything from you. I've simply... ensured that we shall never again be parted. Is it not what you wanted, deep down?" "I... I don't know," you said, voice shaking. "Shhh," Aizen cooed, pressing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are overwhelmed now. But in time, you shall see: our child will bind us together, and you shall understand that was the only way. You shall thank me for protecting our future. "Why?" one finally asked, barely above a whisper. "Why go to such an extent? Aizen's smile pulled taut over his lips, never quite reaching his eyes. "Because I love you. And when I love someone, I make sure they can never leave me." Aizen leaned down until his lips brushed against your ear. "There's no escape, my dear. Not now, not ever."

Do not steal, copy, modify, translate or use for ai Reblogs only!

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[ranhaitanisgf]

1:23 p.m - rindou haitani [gn]

masterlist

"rindou! let's go out!" you exclaimed, bursting into his room wholly unannounced. "come with me to get some cd's!"

rindou's eyes flicked up to look at you, your surprise entrance not seeming to phase him at all. he didn't seem to be doing all that much, a book with its pages open tossed next to him as he took a sip from his can of beer, setting it down on the nightstand as he scrutinized you.

"you suddenly want to get more cd's? why do you need more?" you scoffed at his question, walking over to sit on the edge of his bed.

"that's like me asking you why you need more beer when that's already your third can today, but you don't hear me asking that. who doesn't need more cd's?"

"my motorbike can't play cd's though."

"well good thing i have a car and not a motorbike then, don't you think?" seeing his unamused expression, you flopped onto your back, looking at him upside down. "c'monnn, rindou! you're supposed to want to go out with me, y'know?"

"i'm busy relaxing."

"but you've been busy relaxing all weekend! don't you want to get some fresh air?"

"not really."

"hmph." you frowned, sitting up from your spot on his bed and getting up. "fine then, you can stay here and be all alone and drink your beer all alone and be emo. i'll be going to the cd store by myself."

rindou seemed hesitant as you began to exit his room, but he didn't end up saying anything, which admittedly made you a bit sad. were you seriously bothering him so much that he needed a break from you for so long?

it isn't until you're heading out of the apartment that you hear footsteps behind, too caught up in your thoughts to realize that a certain someone had gotten ready and was now quietly following you to the cd store.

your heart leaped as you almost started to beam, but you instead frowned and kept walking, feigning anger at him. you deserved to get him back for being so reluctant to go out with after all!

"...i thought you were too busy relaxing." rindou began to match your pace, now walking side by side with you as he hesitantly slipped his hand into yours.

"i wasn't busy." he murmured, eyes looking forward and avoiding your gaze.

"hm, that's crazy, since i seem to remember you saying exactly that." he didn't respond for a few moments, instead using his other hand to rummage around in his coat pocket. after a moment, he pulled out a gift-wrapped square, his ears turning a bit pink as he handed it to you.

"...i already bought your valentine's day gift, so i didn't want you to buy it for yourself, stupid."

you stopped walking as you gaped at him, looking at his flushed expression, down to the gift in his hand, then back to him.

"woah...seriously?"

"no, i'm lying." he deadpanned, rolling his eyes, (he was somehow able to keep his sarcasm despite his face being flushed). "just open it." he urged, taking his hand out of yours and wrapping your hand around the gift.

you began to open it, feeling a bit sad that you were ripping the gift wrapping that he worked on, (even though it wasn't perfect, you could tell how much effort he put into it). when you saw the cover of the cd that was uncovered, you couldn't hold back the giant smile that stretched across your face.

"rindou!! how did you even get this?! it's super limited edition!!!"

he just shrugged, though it was obvious from the smug smirk on his face that he was feeling very pleased with himself. however, it was quickly wiped off and replaced with surprise when you suddenly kissed him, the look of surprise still on his face when you pulled away.

"thank you! i do still want to go to the cd store though, so-"

"yeah, let's just go." he interrupted, taking your hand again and leading you to the elevator to go to the bottom floor of your apartment building. you could only laugh a bit to yourself at his red ears and flushed cheeks, deciding to not tease him about it for now.

...or maybe just a little bit is alright.

as you two stepped into the elevator, you slipped the gift into an inside pocket of your jacket, freeing up your hand to suddenly pinch rindou's cheek.

"what-"

"you look so cute when you're blushing like that."

"what-"

"mm, so cute..."

made this w/ the cd as an early valentines day gift in mind :3 sry for not posting ahhh im trying to get into a good balance of school work and tumblr, ty for being patient w/ me ! <3

[notmorbid]

all-night pharmacy.

dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.

you're so alive, it's scary.

being a person doesn't come naturally for me.

what's the deal with this place?

you are my best and my worst friend.

are we horrible people?

i like the idea of having someone to come home to.

i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.

these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.

the less you know about my life, the better.

everyone here is a liar and a cheat.

you deserve to have a life of your own.

a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.

all relationships are transactional.

no one should have that much power over you.

it isn't too late to come back.

you're uninvited from my birthday party.

i love you, but you're such a cunt.

who do you think you are?

forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.

i know you're in there. let me in.

jesus. why do you have a knife?

what happened last night?

it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.

maybe i'm not the mothering type.

i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.

i need a break from feeling so much all the time.

sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.

whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.

i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.

this is the most i can imagine for myself.

if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.

you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.

all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.

it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.

i've never had a day of rest in my life.

i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.

you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.

i can't play house anymore.

never say that name in front of me.

to you, other people are always the problem.

you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.

want to make fifty bucks?

the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.

you don't think we'll get caught?

our loyalty is to story, not reality.

just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.

i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.

our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.

speaking our fears aloud won't save us.

one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.

i try not to think about my life at all.

a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.

your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.

boundaries? i don't know her.

i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.

you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.

think of me as a spiritually connected friend.

i know liars. you don't strike me as one.

you have iconically poor judgment.

has anyone ever told you about your past lives?

you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.

friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.

i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.

you make me want to feel things again.

criticism is still a cousin of attention.

you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.

i know you crave being told what to do.

you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.

you have desires. act on them.

bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?

i thought i had quit you.

my favorite. how did you know?

i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.

how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.

i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.

sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.

you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.

that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.

where will all the animals go in the rapture?

a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.

my little saint.

time passes more slowly as a sober person.

you'd better not pull away from me now.

there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.

you wear your emotions like a name tag.

your resting face frightens me.

how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?

i need you to just be here with me.

our dead deserve to see you happy.

i like the idea of being marked by you.

i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.

i know what i saw.

i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.

i can't believe you're mine.

nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.

you're cute when you're freaked out.

sex is supposed to be unsettling.

there are things i need to atone for.

you can't go back like it's nothing.

i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.

___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.

count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.

banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.

i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.

you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.

you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.

i've been reading about intergenerational curses.

resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.

anything you say stays between us.

i can't decide if i like you.

most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.

will it get easier?

hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.

i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.

in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.

why are you here? where have you been?

how did you know i'd come looking for you?

you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.

i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.

you were supposed to protect me.

there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.

i wouldn't have looked for me, either.

we belong to ourselves now.

you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.

when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.

survival is provisional.

[astonmartingf]

STAY WITH YOU ; CS55

carlos sainz x fem!reader

. . . the budding emotions continue at a high as you spend more time with carlos, the real question is who will make the first move?

previous: situations

yourusername uploaded a new story

[every time, he knows how to make an itinerary]

carlossainz55 replied to your story

i take it that you enjoyed our date and you definitely didn't regret meeting up with me?

hmmm

i wouldn't want to feed your ego any more but i guess i could say that you know how to work your way in my heart

is that you saying you want to go on another date with me?

take it whatever you will sainz, i don't have time for your teasing 🙄

HAHAHAHAHAHA you're annoyed again

i'll definitely take you out on another date

when are you free next?

i'll let you know

you never make it easy huh

doesn't matter, i'll be waiting for your message then

yourusername uploaded a new story

[team bonding activities with mr. country club]

carlossainz55 replied to your story

i'm back to being mr. country club?

i thought we'd built a stronger relationship than that

wym?

you're my only mr. country club, i think we have more relation than others already

"my"

my my, staking claim over me already?

there you go again, you're twisting my words always carlos

i'm joking...

but i can't help but imagine you saying that to me, i'm flattered what can you say

i say you're full of shit

and who's fault is that?

you keep filling my head with these thoughts

i don't say things like that...

get your head out of the gutter

you keep complimenting me, it feeds the soul

you mean your ego

i'm not about to deny that you have that effect on me, it is what it is cariño

yourusername uploaded a new story

[finally got to taste the infamous fluffy pancakes]

carlossainz55 replied to your story

i told you i make good pancakes

yes, yes

they are delicious

and isn't the shape amazing as well

...

don't act like i didn't see you hide the failed pancakes

they weren't heart-shaped that's why

you could've just given me the circle ones

i wanted to give you the heart ones

and how many heart pancakes were you able to make?

just the one in the picture 🥺

doesn't matter carlos

i'd eat whatever shape pancake you give me

i like you like that

carlossainz55 uploaded a new story

[making me a run for my money, beat my race time]

charles_leclerc replied to your story

let us meet her now

it's about time

i'll think about it

i want time for myself right now

wow, you're serious about this

ofc mate, i like her like that

landonorris replied to your story

first is karting, second is paddock time

i swear what's preventing you from asking her out this time?

maybe i just need more time

okay now you're lying to yourself

i'm afraid if she doesn't want to be with me like that

WHAT? you're joking

i haven't seen you two irl but from what i see i don't think it's a one lane highway

you clearly like each other

well, wait for me to make my move ig

are you cooking something?

cooking what? i'm not cooking

you know i meant something else

never mind, go get it carlos

yourusername uploaded a new story

[what can't he do?]

charles_leclerc replied to your story

ask you out 😁

literally shut up charles

i can't be silenced because i'm telling the truth

should i ask him out at this point?

what are you waiting for?

nothing really

then go for it

just don't forget to tell me first

carlossainz55 replied to your story

i ask myself too sweetheart

here we go again 🙄

did you get home safe?

you dropped me off right at my front door, i think that's as safe as it can go

how about you? are you home already, considering you're replying quite fast

i just arrived home

thank you for accompanying me tonight

no worries

it was definitely fun to see you sweat, and then go for a swim...

you enjoying the view?

yup

now rest and go to sleep

you really cut that conversation short...

because i know where it's going cariño

go to sleep carlos, or else

okay ma'am

i will sleep now

goodnight cariño

yourusername uploaded a new story

[if he isn't my boyfriend after this, i'm actually asking him out myself]

charles_leclerc replied to your story

OOOOOHHHH

date night

exciting

shut up charles

tell me how it goes please

you're just nosy

okay and?

it's data gathering

whatever charles, now leave us alone

enjoy your date with your future boyfriend

don't forget to let me know okay?

message me the details

carlossainz55 posted a new video

view comments...

user1 wait.... i've connected the pieces

user2 is this the girl from the summer fling?

user3 OMG WAIT! they're dating already 🥹🥹🥹

user4 anyone else IGNORNING THE FACT that it's CARLOS MF SAINZ???

charles_leclerc i thought i said update me yourusername now i see this on carlos tiktok feels illegal

carlossainz55 why am i hearing about this for the first time?

charles_leclerc what can i say, i just have the intel for that

yourusername you finish data gathering charles_leclerc?

user5 the girls are fighting

user6 rewatching the summer fling tt feels different now

user7 right??? like...

user8 wow, this was the result of the silly season last year

user9 they're so cute and then i remember the summer fling version of this and CRY EVERYITNM

yourusername i love you so much carlos and i very much so giggle and think about us all the time

carlossainz55 i'm glad i'm in your head rent free

yourusername 🙄🖕

carlossainz55 you love me amor ❤️

[mcflymemes]

"IT WAS NEVER GOING TO WORK" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue for those attempts at relationships that just don't go anywhere, adjust as necessary

we're no good for each other.

it was never going to work.

at least we tried this thing out.

your expectations are far beyond anything i can achieve.

i'll never be the person you need me to be.

you deserve better than me.

i can't be the person you want.

we gave this relationship a chance.

you go your way, and i'll go mine.

we gave it a good try.

you should be with someone who cares about you.

i'm just going to disappoint you over and over.

you can't get stuck with me.

i'm not giving up on this relationship.

are you telling me we're over?

is this your way of breaking up with me?

we're not compatible.

you belong somewhere else.

this relationship will just limit you.

you should be out with someone who appreciates you the way i can't.

listen. you're a great person.

the love i have for you will never be enough.

i can't turn myself into someone i'm not.

you're giving up on us?

that just proves our incompatibility.

i think we should start seeing other people.

you can't come with me.

this is the end of the road for us.

i'm done pretending like this relationship is going to work.

you want me to just close my eyes and ignore our problems?

this thing between us... it's not working.

i think you should be with them instead.

they would be a better match for you.

i wish i was the one for you.

maybe in another life, we'd be something.

this is not the time or place for a relationship.

you need to focus on yourself, not me.

if we had more time, maybe we'd be something.

there's nothing wrong with you. it's all me.

i hate saying "it's not you, it's me," but it's true.

come back to me in five years and we'll try this again.

go find your happy ending.

i'm not your knight in shining armor after all.

as much as i want to stay, i can't.

you're going to be happy one day.

your happy ending doesn't start with me.

i told you to get out of here.

i said i don't want to see you again.

how long are we going to keep lying to ourselves?

you have to stop pretending i'm good for you.

we just go our separate ways. it's that easy.

i want to make this work. i really do.

don't lie to yourself about me.

you've known my faults from day one.

you're going to find someone who really loves you.

[obeymeshallwedateaddict]

Hello! I’ve really been enjoying your writing! May I request short drabbles for Lucifer, Satan, and Barbatos who react to MC when she answers the man vs bear question with bear? If it’s heavy for you to write, I completely understand.

Have a lovely day/night and please take care!

Hello! I'm sorry for the wait. But thanks for your request. I think it's very meaningful. After all it's important to feel safe around our demons no matter what. I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: Lucifer, Satan and Barbatos reacting to MC choosing the bear in the trend man vs bear.

Contains: Fluff

Fem!MC

You can find more of my work here: Masterlist

---

Lucifer

The eldest had recently discovered the trend 'man vs bear' and was interested in your point of view on the matter so he decided to come to you and ask directly. And as much as he was expecting to hear that answer it still shook him to the core.

Lucifer: mumbling "Bear? Hm.. not that I didn't expect to hear that.."

He kept silent for a few more seconds before speaking up again.

Lucifer: "MC could you explain why you chose bear..?"

MC: "Well.. I just... I guess I don't feel particularly safe around men? The thought of what men are capable of scares me.."

Lucifer looked at you with concern in his eyes. He took your hands in his and gave you a sincere look.

Lucifer: "MC, I'm aware why you chose the bear. But.. I want you to know that you're be safe in the Devildom or wherever you maybe be when I'm right there with you. I'll make sure no man, no demon lays a finger on you."

Silence followed and the demon took a deep breath. He carefully wrapped his arms around you and spoke into your ear.

Lucifer: "...I know I, myself am a man but please trust me. I would never do anything to harm you."

Satan

The fourth-born heard of that trend from Asmo and wasn't particularly interested until one day before heading to bed he decided that he had to know your answer. So the next day he came to you with the question but the answer wasn't what he was expecting.

Satan: "Bear? Why bear? MC, were keeping you safe here in the Devildom no one would dare to lay a hand on you. Why did you choose bear?"

MC: "Satan, this question talk about men in general not men in the Devildom. And I'd be lying if I said that I feel safe around men."

The demon fell silent. Soon enough he took your hand in his and caressed its knuckles.

Satan: "MC, do you feel safe around me..?"

You smiled softly at the demon and nodded your head.

MC: "Of course I feel safe around you, Satan. You've long proven yourself that you're worthy of my trust.."

A relieved smile appeared on his face and he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

Satan: "Thank you, MC. I promise to always protect you from the dangers of life. I love you."

Barbatos

Barbatos was never interested in trends so he wasn't fast to get to know of this one. But once when Diavolo mentioned it and said that he'd like to know what your answer would be Barbatos was determined to confront you about it. And as much as he has hoped your answer would be different he had predicted what you'd say.

Barbatos: "I see..."

The demon kept silent for a minute, lost in his thoughts.

MC: "Barbatos? Is everything alright? You seem disappointed.."

Barbatos: "Disappointed? No. I'm just concerned.."

MC: "Concerned about my answer?"

Barbatos: "Indeed I am."

MC: "Well.. I mean.. of course I'd choose bear.. you never know what could go through a man's head.."

Barbatos: "Well yes of course, MC. You are quite tight but I can't help but wonder... Do you feel safe here with us in the Devildom?"

MC: "I'd be lying if I said that I don't. Even if something happens I know I can rely on the brothers or one of you guys to help me."

Barbatos smiled and took your hand in his, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it.

Barbatos: "Good. Always know that you're safe in the Devildom. Whether it would be me or the brothers or whoever it is that is protecting you. And if something happens you can rely on me to handle it."

MC: "Thank you, Barbatos!"

Barbatos: "Of course. It is my duty to ensure your safety here in the Devildom."

[shaypie67]

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐀𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

Summary: Ben has been being an asshole lately and decides to make it up to you. (NO SMUT)

Pairing: Soldier Boy (The Boys) x Reader

Warnings: Bad Language/Cursing.

Word Count: 722

"Will you stop?" I snap at him from where I'm trying to wash the dishes, getting a little distracted as he comes up behind me, pulling my tightly against him.

He just huffs and stands back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What is your problem?" He scowls back at me.

I huff and drop a plate onto the table so hard it almost breaks as I turn to look at him.

"My problem is... we just had a massive dinner and I'm the one who has to do the dishes and clean the house when I feel like dropping to sleep because all you can think of is your cock!"

He clenches his jaw and scoffs a little bit, turning away from me.

"That's not my fucking job! It's the woman's and the last time I checked it was you!"

I take a deep breath, staring at him with tears glazing my eyes, thinking he was getting better at adjusting to the new worlds, only to be brought back to the beginning.

"Screw you!" I argue back through gritted teeth and throw the sponge down too and storm off into the bedroom.

Ben stands there quietly, surprised by your outburst. He feels the guilt rise in him and lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

He knows how much you do for him, despite him being an ass and feels bad for blowing up in your face. Knowing he has to make it up to you somehow.

He looks around the kitchen and living room, looking at all the dirty plates and pots from where they had a joint dinner with Annie and Hughie. He nods again and grabs the sponge, grimacing at washing the wet food off the plates and buzzes around until the entire apartment is clean and he's panting heavily. Surprised by how much effort it took, but glad he did it for you.

He walks into the bedroom and sees you lying on the bed, nose in one of your favourite books. He steps closer and lays down on the bed next to you, grabbing your book and moving it to the nightstand.

I look over at Ben confused, still upset with him so I choose to stay quiet.

He takes a deep breath, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulls your back to his chest, letting out a sigh into your neck as he hugs you close. Whispering into your ear.

"I'm sorry."

I look down at his hand on my waist, taking a deep breath myself as I hear his small apology, knowing that probably took a lot out of him to admit. I smile a little and interlace my fingers with his, leaning into his hold.

"It's okay... I was just tired and didn't feel like doing a deep clean on the kitchen" I reply quietly, feeling his thumb rub my knuckles as he kisses the back of my neck.

"You don't have to. I finished it for you."

That makes me pause, turning over to look at his smirking face a little dumbfounded.

"You... washed the kitchen?"

He chuckles a little at your reaction to him actually getting off his ass and doing something for once, but he doesn't act too smug about it.

"Yes. And FYI, we're getting a dishwasher. Touching wet food from the bowl was nasty." His nose scrunches up, remembering the odd soggy feeling he powered through.

I can't help but laugh at his facial expression, using my hand to cup his cheek, kissing him softly on the lips, sighing softly when I feel him kiss me back. I pull away and barely speak above a whisper.

"Thank you."

He doesn't reply and just pulls you down onto his chest, wrapping an arm around your back to keep you close to him.

"Now no more whining, I'll buy the dishwasher so neither of us have to clean again." He grumbles in his usual grumpy tone, but I notice more of a humored tone than any anger behind it. So I just close my eyes and nuzzle into his chest, enjoying the warmth.

"Goodnight, Ben." I say before closing my eyes, letting sleep take me after the long day.

He hums in reply before kissing your forehead softly, replying in a barely audible tone.

"Night, Doll."

THE END

[yurinaa-world]

hello! can u do reader who likes to rest on characters lap? like whenever reader couldn't sleep but feel tired, they goes to character's lap while they're doing smth and reader sleeps :3 any characters but i prefer jing yuan n blade pls :D (its okay if u don't want to write this, i don't wanna pressure u haha and sorry for my bad english :'d i love ur works btw!!)

Characters: Blade and Jing Yuan x Gender-neutral Reader

Synopsis: laying in their lap while they're doing things

Warnings: Fluff and spelling mistakes,

Notes: IM SO SORRY I messed this up so hard, I wrote then I looked at the request, and I mentally slapped myself, If you didn't like this I would be fine rewriting it!

𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒹𝑒

This guy literally doesn’t do anything all day, just has his eyes closed and just rests (Warning: I love making reader a very little dramatic when it comes to Blade)

Dead silence; he did not say anything to you once you lay on his lap with a smile on your lips. You couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward. He’s always been quiet, but right now, you're starting to feel the silence stabbing you from every angle.

"What aren't you going to say?" you asked, opening one of your eyes to stare at him from below. "Want attention that badly?" He gave you an amused look, looking down on you as if you were some kind of little child. "Well, there's no fun if I just lay here," you pouted, looking at the ceiling as well as at him, his fingers going through your hair. He's figured out what you want from him—attention, of course—yet he just does what you want him to do, or you'll complain about it all day.

So instead, he stays silent and plays with your hair, but his hand moves to your face, creasing your lips with his calloused fingers. "You're such a pain," he whispers, leaning down to kiss you and then moving away before saying, "Yes, yes, you kiss someone you find annoying." You rolled your eyes, closed your eyes again, and sighed loudly.

"I know, bladie, you can't keep yours off; no man can!" You laugh, obviously joking.

What a personality you have.

𝒥𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒴𝓊𝒶𝓃

“How needy, hmm? What a pleasure it was to spend time with you. a pity I have work to do." Jing Yuan teased while you lay in his lap, watching him from above: reading his boring yet important paper, “You offered and I took it; you know it’s unkind to decline someone." You responded by tracing shapes on the thigh you’re lying on.

"If you don’t want me, then I'll" you cut off before you could even finish your sentence. “No need; you’ve already come, so you're going to stay like this." He said before turning the page of his paper, "I was just joking." He said while ruffling through your hair, making you frown a little, that he messed with your hair.

You both lay in silence. You broke first, asking, “When do you think your paperwork is going to be finished?" He chuckled at your comment.

"A couple of hours, it seems."

“Hurry it up, and I’ll give you a gift."

You stated matter of factly crossing your arms in front of your chest, “What kind of gift?” He asked curiously, looking down at you, and you shrugged your shoulders. “It’s a surprise. Do it and find out,” he chuckled at your words.

"Alright, I'll take your word, but this better be a good gift since I'm working so hard for you, hmm, don’t you think?"

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot

[rwuffles]

okay, so, calico cove has gotten me mushy — because of people crying over my notes, me getting emotional over the notes i got, and the community as a whole. blame them for this heartfelt mushfest, i guess; this is an appreciation letter because i can't keep my big fat mouth shut ever!

to the mogai community as a whole: thank you. for, what? i don't think i could get into the specifics if i tried. we are, to be quite frank, a mess at times — discourse and drama and pettiness galore — but god i'd be lying to say i don't love it anyways. i found the community when i was stuck in a really toxic friend group, and when i was starting to hide parts of myself in order to fit in / not get bullied. it didn't really work. but, i found everyone here. people who ided similarly to me, people who also hoarded stuff, and god i fucking adored all of the coining and npt blogs. it's been a really long ride, and i'm still trying to figure myself out as we go along, but i wouldn't be, well, xuân if it weren't for everything that this community has shown me. coining and flag-making have been there for me when i didn't have words to describe how i felt, and when i needed people who'd accept me for being me; it's shown me that i shouldn't settle for anything less than that. everything i do on this blog, really, is a love letter to the community as a whole and me trying to give back everything its given me, and i hope that's clear with how much love goes into everything i create.

and, god, don't even get me started on how much i adore everyone i've met through the community!

some people i'm not quite as close with as i used to be, and some people i don't talk with at all anymore, but i have to be honest when i say that i adore and am grateful towards everyone in the community i've met during my time within it.

to @vampitsm: what sort of appreciation letter would this be if it didn't include you? you've been my friend since, what, one of my old old blogs? it's been one whole year since we've become friends; can you believe that? it was actually right around this time that we started gaia's — or rather, sweetshop. when we first met, i'll be honest and say that i didn't think we'd stay friends long. i'd always held a fairly pessimistic view of the people around me — assuming they'd leave or i'd drop them one way or another. but, you didn't. you'd stayed, you were my friend, you sided with me time and time again. at some point, i found myself wanting to be your friend — even though we already were friends! i'll be honest and say that a lot of the time, when i do things, i hope that i'll make you laugh. you and your opinion mean a lot to me, and i always look forward to the next time we talk.

to @fangpunk: there's so much i could say about you, you little faggot (silly). when i'd first joined mogaiblr, you were one of our inspirations — we looked up to you, wanted to be your mutual, and just generally thought y'all were one of the coolest guys out there. who woulda thought that we'd have the friendship we do today? you're an amazing friend, i think you're one of the funniest people we know and you've always got something to say — in a good way! i love your input on every situation, and especially when izuku isn't scared to put his foot down in our place; you make us less scared to be ourself and encourage us to be less of a pushover. so, thank you!

to @cloverpilled: you're a real dork. my dork, though. maybe i should've realized i didn't quite just see you as a friend when i was vying for your attention and calling you 'my favorite' all the time; but, it worked out in the end, didn't it? everything you make — flags, rentries, layouts, etc. — are always wonderful and i still get giddy seeing you put 'taken' in your rentries and knowing that's me. i've always loved our friendship, and i can't fathom a world without it, especially not now that we're boyfriends. i know you're not the best with words — comforting, being open, all that jazz — and i've never minded it. really, i think you're one of the sweetest people in the world and you always try your best even if it's not in the most forward or obvious manner.

to shua: you. you have been in the fucking psych ward for the past... 4-5 months? i miss you so much, dude; i'm so happy you're going to be out in 2 days. i can't wait to spend the rest of the holidays with you and everyone else in gaia's. you're an amazing person, to be entirely honest, and i miss spending time with you. you've been my friend since before i was here on rwuffles. do you know how fucking long that is? i've looked up to you since forever, and i'm so happy that we're friends. i cherish you and i cherish our friendship as a whole more than i think i could ever express, sometimes i can't believe that we've been friends for so long, but we have! to another year of you & i!

to hadiyah: i have no idea what your current (?) tumblr account is, to be entirely honest, so i hope this finds its way to you one way or another. you're such an amazing person, i think you're so funny and i love talking with you — it's always a treat. sure, you aren't quite as active in gaia's anymore; i don't mind. i still consider you a really good friend of ours. you've been our friend since... the beginning of gaia's as well, i believe? so, really, i couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life and to have had you as a friend for so long! thank you, so much.

to @sevvys: sev. you. you are so cool and awesome and i love talking to you. thank you for being our friend — we don’t even remember how long we’ve been friends for. but, thank you. to be entirely honest, you’re an older sibling figure in our lives and we love being able to hang out and make stupid jokes; i think you’re really funny and i’ve always looked up to you in a way if that doesn’t sound weird? i don’t talk to you as much as i wish i did, and i want that to change, but you’re always super level-headed in my opinion and really good at handling discussions i guess. i don’t know how to express how cool i think you are. you’re just a really reliable, caring person i think

to @rabidbatboy: i think i’ve looked up to you for… an absurdly long amount of time. when you first started coining, you were one of the only people coining less “cutesy” stuff; it was definitely a breath of fresh air and we found ourselves super excited to see any new terms you’d come up with. to be honest? we still love everything you coin, even if we aren’t quite in the fandoms you’re coining for — plus i just think you’re awesome as a person. i love talking to you, as i’ve said to lots of people, you’re super funny and i always look forward to talking to you next! you’re not quite as active in gaia’s anymore, and i know you’re not the best with words, so i don’t expect anything grand in response; i just want you to know that i really care about you and i’ve always appreciated your presence.

to eddie: that’s right, oldie! you get a section, too! because i consider you a really good friend of ours, even if i don’t talk to you very much and you aren’t (?) quite in the mogai community. i really like talking to you and i like our back and forth banter a lot — it feels like you’re an older sibling of ours a lot of the time. i like being the annoying little brother to you, and i really hope that we can keep being friends. it feels really weird being genuine and expressing how much you matter to me considering how often we tend to jokingly butt heads, but i just need you to know that i really love our friendship and i can’t imagine it being any other way. i hope your holidays are good, ya old fuck (affectionate).

and, this section isn't quite for people who are in the mogai community. rather, friends & loved ones i've known since before then that i love with all my heart and that have supported me throughout everything — discovering myself and realizing how much i adore these labels. there aren't enough words to explain how much i love you all and appreciate your staying by my side and not abandoning me.

to elipse, my dear boyfriend: thank you. you’ve supported me through everything — even when it felt like everyone else was against me and i was left on my own again. you are my dearest, my beloved, my forever and my eternity; i’m not scared to be mushy about that. it’s been a wonderful two years by your side, and i hope for it to be many more. you’ve loved me through my ups and downs, my wrongs and rights, my weirdest moments and all the cute stuff in-between. you’ve been my number one supporter — especially when i was first starting to become a mogai coiner — and you’ve remained my number one supporter since. you’re the most wonderful boyfriend i could ever ask for: supportive, sweet, considerate, and amazing. i love you. 

to caelan, my lovely girlfriend: you!! you’ve been my best friend for seven years. do you know how long that is? i’m 16! i was 9 when we met! i’ve almost known you and akemi for longer than i haven’t! that is both a terrifying and wonderful thought: to have someone by your side for so long that you can recall more of your life with them than without it. i adore everything about you, and i’m so sorry if it seems like i’m a bit awkward or not the best conversationalist sometimes; everything about you is amazing and i just feel like a little wet dog near you somedays. i miss you so much, and i hope your break from fronting is going well, and that you know i love you and am so excited to talk to you again when you’re back. 

to akemi, one of my bestest and oldest friends: a lot of what i said in caelan’s note is what i’d say to you. we’ve known eachother for so long, that it’s hard to imagine my life if you hadn’t been in it. actually, i think my entire life would’ve taken a different course if we hadn’t met on that fnaf minecraft roleplay on hypixel — can you believe it? how such little things manage to make such big impacts on our lives and who we are as people? i know we don’t talk as much anymore, but, as i’ve said before, i consider you one of my dearest friends and you mean the complete world to me. so, thank you for having stayed by my side for so long, akemi.

to ice, my amazing sister: you!!! the sister ever!!! you’ve always taken on an older sibling role in my life since we met, and i think you just tend to slot into that role perfectly; thank you for always being there for me and taking care of me. i don’t think i’d have made it this far without you being there and reassuring me every step of the way. we might not be super close, or talk as much as i’d like us to, but i really enjoy your company and love talking with you. i’m just a little bit of an awkward guy. when you send me stuff on pinterest, it always makes me happy and i love checking and seeing that i have a new message from you. i can’t believe we’ve been friends for — how long is it, at this point — six years? i think around that time. that’s unbelievable to me.

to smg, my one & only brother: the stupidest most dorkiest most infuriating brother i could ever have the pleasure of knowing and being able to call my brother. that’s what you are. you and your stupid brainrot and stupid jokes and stupid everything — i could never imagine a world where you aren’t my brother. even if you act like you don’t care a lot of the time, you make sure we know that you do care (even if it’s in your own, stupid little way). i love being your friend and i’m so grateful i’ve had you in my life for so long. you are the first and currently the only online friend who i’ve been able to meet irl, and i hope to be able to see you again sometime soon. even if you never quite got the labels that i’d talk about or ramble about, and even if you might get on my nerves sometimes, you’re still my brother at the end of the day and i wouldn’t want it any other way.

next up, we have people who i don’t quite talk to as much anymore who’s presences in my life i really appreciate. of course, i’m not sure if all of them still have tumblr blogs — most being deactivated — or if they even really want to hear how i care about them. so, really, i’ll leave this brief and say that this part is addressed to: ghost, mimsy, and woodbyne. thank you guys for having played such a large role in our lives at one point or another, and i wish you all the best even if we don’t talk as much nowadays. 

i don’t think that i can dedicate a paragraph to everyone, even if i really wish i could, as i don’t think most people are going to be willing to read through this whole post with the length that it’s getting to. so, i’m just gonna tag a bunch of people? just to let you guys know that you’re loved in every which way even if i have a shitty time showing it to all of you? 

the sillies ever who are so kind and sweet and i enjoy everytime they send me asks, reblog, leave a reply, or just interact with me in general: @ainoshonen @smilepilled @angeltism @zoeynovie

coiners that are actually a lot smaller than i thought they were that i think are so cool and need more recognition: @acronym-chaos @nostalgiagender

OTHER coiners that i think deserve recognition for the things they do and the stuff they create even if i didn’t think they were big at first: @sylviestial @pupcoins @love-letterworm @jiiamp @boingogender @kitsflagz

other BIG coiners that i look up to and have looked up to for a long time — whether we’re currently actually friends (which i still can’t get over), we don’t talk a lot if we do know eachother, or that i haven’t met personally: @idwl @kiruliom @webby-mogai @gender-mailman @puriette-archived @lunentity @the-astropaws @lepus-fangs

everyone who participated in mogai team-up, which, i can’t get over the fact we’ve managed to hit 1k followers because holy SHIT that’s a lot of fucking people, but thank you guys for coming together to help me celebrate it and let this fucking monster of an event (very positive) happen in the first place: @daybreakthing @floraeth @kylertism @robofox-mogai @dragonpuff17 @novaurora @flutteringwings-coining @xyrthemost @catboy-autism @cannibalisticcoinz

if i didn't tag you... uh. our memory is shit, sorry! i tried to remember everyone and i'm literally going to cry if i forgot someone

finally, to everyone in calico cove: thank you. for all of you coming together to help me create a community that’s so loving, so sweet and accepting that it has managed to become a safe space for a plethora of people that i’d have never imagined it to. you’re all lovely, and i’m so glad to be able to share a space with everyone and anyone that’s there. calico cove as a whole just makes me super emotional — cheesy, i know — but it’s essentially one of my dreams come true. it’s been an aspiration of mine to be able to create safe spaces with people wherever i go, and to foster an environment where people feel safe to be themselves without ridicule or fear of judgement. i’m so glad that i’ve been able to create that in calico cove. to hear you guys say or admit that it’s a safe space for you makes me emotional everytime, even if i’m not fully able to convey that to you all. 

thank you to everyone in the mogai community; have a happy holidays!

[nightlyrequiem]

FEED ME HYPER-FEMME READER X VALERIA!!! GIMMIE IT!!! GRAHHHH!!

then, imagine a little yippee critter foaming at the mouth. Thats me.

okay, but, in all seriousness, i absolutely NEED Valeria x like, fem, bimbo-esque, PINK!PINK!PINK reader!!!! Im going absolutely feral omg... imagine dolling urself up for this woman ... im found dead xp

-🪼

Nothing would make me happier than putting on makeup while Valeria watches, I think. I love hyperfeminity! I'm incredibly partial to skirts, dresses, and pink myself. I actually painted my nails pink last night :3

Also I don’t condone the purchasing of real fur, faux fur all the way!

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Established Relationship

Nightshade and Peonies

You're lying on your side in your big soft bed. A satin nightgown draped over your body and leaving very few little to the imagination. Baby pink covers surround you, the soft glow from your lamps making them look peachy. Your eyes track Valeria's movements as she slowly approaches you with a box in hand. she kneels and sets it on the bed before you. A humble offering to her deity. you sit up and try to hide the giddy excitement inside of you. You're trying to appear calm and mildly disinterested but the slight curl at the corner of Valeria's lips tells you she knows what you're feeling anyway. You sat up too quickly to keep the illusion of feeling casual.

You grab the edge of the lid and lift. You can't hold back the happy smile at the sight of soft beige fur folded up neatly inside. You've been dropping hints for weeks. You carefully lift the coat out from the box and hold it up to see it in its full glory.

"Oh, Valeria, it's gorgeous!" You gush. Imagining all the outfits you can make with this. Mexico isn't the most ideal environment to own a fur coat in, but you will look so divine that it doesn't matter if you'll sweat yourself to death.

"That's the one you've been wanting?" She hums. Resting her head in her palm.

"Yes." You nod. Quivering with excitement.

You fold it back up with care and place it back into the box. You push it to the side; you'll be keeping the box too. It's a pretty off-white colour that will look so nice in your closet. You lean back in bed and finally give Valeria permission to join you. She crawls onto the bed and hovers over you. Her gaze shifting behind you.

"You have too many pillows." She remarks. Looking at the silk clad pillows, the throw pillows, the two fluffy heart shaped pillows. All arranged with a careful precision.

"I think I need more." You reply playfully.

"Yeah?" Valeria grins. leaning down to press a kiss against your lips. "I'll be your pillow." You're filled to the brim with so much dopamine and oxytocin that you don't know what to do with it. So, you move your head and bite down into her shoulder, making her flinch.

You sit up and push her onto her back.

"So, what are we going to do tomorrow?" You ask. Stradling her stomach. Valeria trails her fingers over the smooth material of your nightgown.

"I think we should go to dinner tomorrow." She replies. "I want you to wear that little pink dress."

"Which pink dress?" You ask. Valeria needs to be more specific because you own quite a few pink dresses.

"The really light pink one... the backless one." She clarifies. You smile. Valeria could never keep her eyes or hands off of you whenever you wore that dress. Tight, lowcut, and short with subtle ruffling at the bottom.

Valeria looks so pretty laying there with her hair sprawled out. it makes you want to bite her again. You're excited by the idea of going out to eat too. Valeria is always taking you on little dates but you're never not excited. You'd show as much enthusiasm for rock climbing as you would for slow dancing. You'd doll yourself up in a pink outfit, put on makeup, and enjoy your time with Valeria.

"The backless one." You repeat. An outfit is forming in your head. You're also thinking of what colour you should paint your nails. Pink is an obvious choice but there's many shades to choose from. You could also do white. Or a sultry cherry red. You zone out as you think critically. You have this delicious white tiara that would look so cute with the dress. Shiny white platform heels would match with the tiara.

Then you remember the coat. You scrap the tiara idea and decide to wear the coat with it. But what heels should you wear?

"Hey." Valeria says. Grabbing your jaw. "What's going on inside that head of yours, hm?" Her hand is warm and comforting.

"I'm thinking of what to wear with the dress, I want to wear my new coat, but I don't know what heels to wear with it." You explain. You have a pair of pink heels that are the same shade as the dress, but you aren't sure if that will throw off the balance.

Valeria gently pulls your face down to give you a short kiss.

"You're thinking too hard." She murmurs. "What about those cheetah print ones?" You consider it. The fur coat isn't an animal pattern. The cheetah shoes would not match at all.

"No, those don't go with it at all." You sigh.

"Oh, my poor baby." Valeria coos. "Your life is so hard; I can't imagine having to find the strength to match your shoes to your top." You playfully swat her shoulder.

"This is serious, I need to look good." You huff.

"You'll look good no matter what." She says. Making you lay down next to her. "You'll figure it out, don't stress yourself."

You sat at your little white vanity the next night, carefully applying a rosy, pink lipstick. Your makeup is almost finished, glittery eyeshadow peeks out from your eyelids. Valeria is laying back in your bed behind you, you can see her watching in the reflection of the mirror. You'd think she'd look out of place among the baby pink sheets if you didn't already know she had matching ones at home. Valeria once told you that she loves watching you get ready. To her, watching you doll yourself up is an act of intimacy in itself. A dainty necklace decorates your throat, the small white jewel glinting from just above your amplified cleavage. You dab a little concealer around your lips to clean them up a bit then stand. You turn and give Valeria a little spin, showing off for her. You decided to forgo the coat. A decision you didn't make lightly.

She gives you a little wolf-whistle and you grin in return. practically glowing with pleasure.

"Beautiful." She speaks.

"You say that every time." You reply, still grinning. she gently grabs your hand and kisses your palm.

"And I mean it every time." She pushes up off the bed.

She walks towards your closet and retrieves the pink heels that match your dress perfectly. You glance at the coat longingly. You'll wear it the next time you go out, you silently vow. Valeria chivalrously puts on the heals for you. Holding your ankles with care, thumb running over the little gold ankle bracelet. You stand, a few inches taller than her though neither of you mind and eagerly stride around the room. Putting all the things you need into your tiny little bedazzled handbag. Lipstick and lip-gloss, mascara, and a small compact mirror. You grab Valeria's hand and drag her outside. forcing her to keep up with your energetic stride.

The restaurant is in the next town over. You sit in the passenger seat, looking out of place inside the dark interior. Although little touches of you are placed around the car. A tube of lipstick is in the glovebox. A little handmade pink and gold charm dangles from the rear-view mirror. She has a hand on your thigh while she drives. 

The restaurant is nice and lowkey. Hanging paper lanterns provide a welcoming, dim glow. Your exaggerated feminine appearance garners a few looks but nobody comes up to bother you. She pulls out your chair for you and you sit down, looking around and taking in the place. It isn't all that modern inside. The tables and chairs are old, there aren't any TVs on the walls. It's a charming little establishment. You and Valeria order your food and wait. Speaking to each other in low, engaged voices. You excitedly ramble about clothing and makeup and colour theory. About all the ways to style animal prints and different patterns. Valeria listens with rapt attention. Adoring you in such a passionate state.

[munchmemes]

chappell roan lyrics, the rise and fall of a midwest princess edition ( + bonus 'good luck, babe!' for reasons )

▸ same old story, time again. got so close but then you lost it. ▸ i'm so sick of online love. ▸ um, can you play a song with a fucking beat? ▸ you're lying to your friends about how [they're] such a goddamn good lover. ▸ you got what you wanted so stop feeling sorry. ▸ you know what i mean and you know what you need. and so do they! but does it happen? no! ▸ you showed me things i didn't know. ▸ i just want you to make a move. so, slow down, sit down, it's new. ▸ i just wanna get to know ya. guess i didn't quite think it through. ▸ i fell in love with the thought of you. ▸ baby, why don't you come over? ▸ i like what you like. ▸ want me to fuck you? baby, i will 'cause i really want to. ▸ well, back at my house i got a california king. okay, maybe it's a twin bed and some roommates. ▸ let's make this bed get squeaky. ▸ my mama said nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone. ▸ this is what i wanted, this is what i like. ▸ i kinda wanna kiss your [girl/boy]friend if you don't mind. ▸ i love a little drama, let's start a bar fight. ▸ everything good happens after midnight. ▸ i really want your hands on my body. ▸ that's my type of fun, that's my kind of party. ▸ i'll meet you for coffee 'cause if we have wine, you'll say that you want me and i know that's a lie. ▸ if i didn't love you, it would be fine. ▸ every place leads back to your place. ▸ i'd rather feel something than nothing at all so ... ▸ we've done this before and i don't need it anymore. ▸ it's never just coffee. ▸ i've heard so many rumors. that i'm just a [girl] that you bang on your couch. ▸ i thought you thought of me better. someone you couldn't lose. ▸ is it casual now? ▸ it's hard being casual. ▸ i try to be the chill [girl] but honestly i'm not. ▸ i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself. ▸ you know what they say: never waste a friday night one a first date. ▸ not overdramatic, i know what i want.

▸ we're hot, we're drunk. ▸ at every party, we're the party. ▸ get up off your feet, get up on that bar. ▸ i could be the one or your new addiction. ▸ call me hot, not pretty. ▸ i try not to care but it hurts my feelings. ▸ who knew that we'd let it get this bad when it ended? ▸ i heard it from [NAME], you're losing it lately. ▸ people say i'm jealous but my kink is watching you ruining your life. ▸ people say i'm jealous but my kink is karma. ▸ wishing you the best, in the worst way. ▸ it's hot when you're going through hell and you're hating yourself, i'm feeling myself. ▸ do you picture me like i picture you? ▸ i'm too scared to say half of the things i do when i picture you. ▸ i guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line. ▸ if you really wanna leave, i'll never make you stay. ▸ whatever you decide, i will understand. ▸ love is a kaleidoscope. how it works we'll never know. ▸ i know you wanted me to stay but i can't ignore the crazy visions. ▸ i'm having wicked dreams. ▸ every night's another reason why i left it all. ▸ don't think i've left you all behind. i still love you and you're always on my mind. ▸ god, what have you done? ▸ i'm gonna keep on dancing. ▸ i'd love if you knew you were on my mind constant like cicadas in the summertime. ▸ we could go to hell but we'll probably be fine. ▸ we're an inch away from more than just friends. ▸ won't you fucking touch me? ▸ if it hasn't happened yet then maybe you should go. ▸ to think i almost had it going but i let you down. ▸ too hard to find reasons to stay. even true love could not persuade. ▸ come get me out. ▸ sometimes i scare myself but i can't help what i can't help. ▸ i fantasize what we would do. ▸ some good girls do bad things too. ▸ i wants this like a cigarette. can we drag it out and never quit? ▸ oh my god, you are heaven-sent. ▸ you can say that we are nothing but you know the truth. ▸ guess i'm the fool. ▸ i don't wanna call it off but you don't wanna call it love. ▸ good luck, babe! ▸ you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling. ▸ i'm cliche, who cares? ▸ when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife. ▸ you know i hate to say it, i told you so.

[mellowwillowy]

Omg i love your work😭😭 especially Yulian he's crazy but he's sooo sweet🥹 and you write him so well fr

I was wondering how'd he react if his darling decides that they wanna break up with him / get a divorce,, or they start to feel like he's hiding something from them which causes them to doubt him. But I feel like he would 100% gastlight them first.

Chances of divorce in Utopia is 0 honey :)

But let's talk about Dystopia.

Yan! Lawyer Husband - GN Spouse Reader

Yes, Yulian will corner the fuck out of you mentally as much as he hates it. He should have picked up on the signs earlier and yet he paid no mind to it until you exploded, again.

The reason was simple, you doubted him.

It all started from a suspicion of his absence, the rumors circulating around him and the voice in your head yelling you to leave him.

'That man is no good! Leave him before it's too late again!'

"Where were you dear?"

"Duty called dear. I'm sorry for leaving you alone for a long time yeah?"

"I asked everyone around and they told me that you were absent for the 5 days. Where were you if you were not in the court nor your office?"

Yulian didn't expect you to bother questioning around, mentally adding another note to bribe everyone next time.

"I was visiting another place, the client did not like leaving his curb so I had to visit him myself, I'm sorry I didn't notify you earlier dear."

Yulian's hand creeped into your cheek, caressing it gently while giving you an apologetic smile. The smile that always makes you shrug all your doubts and worries away.

But not today.

"This is not the first time this has happened, Yulian."

Yulian jolted. You were glaring at him. The face that he rarely sees from you, the face that he never expected to see from you. You.

"Dear?"

'You know right? This man right here is nothing but a swindler!'

"Why do you always lie to me?"

'How many secrets has he hidden from you? Better yet, why is he keeping you in the dark?'

"Always, always, always lying. I had enough of you, Yulian. This is not the first I have confronted you and this is not the first out of your many lies that I haven't confronted you about."

'Stay away from him.'

"I want a divorce."

'Run.'

"Di... vorce?"

Yulian's face darkened. A face you had never seen before.

"Divorce?"

"Yes."

'Run!'

Yulian sat down, his eyes traveling toward anywhere but you. He took in a shaky breath before exhaling it in fury. No, it was not directed at you. It was directed at himself for being slow and dumb. A fool no less.

"I'll have Aava packed my stuffs today. I will hand you the papers for you to sign later." You paid no mind to his slumped figure, leaving him.

"No..." Yulian stopped you in your track, his hand holding your wrist tightly. "Don't leave me alone again."

"Is it not supposed to be directed at you instead?"

Yulian winced. You were right but he was right as well. What should he do? What should he do?

What he should do.

"Dear..." Yulian stood up to his feet, "don't you think you are being a bit too hasty?"

"Wha-?"

"Over something so menial," he knew he shouldn't word it like that, "I was trying my best you know? I tried my best to wrap up everything quickly but I just can't not attend to duties such as this."

He was driving you into the corner again.

"If this is the same word game you are playing with me then it's not working on me anymore."

"No, this is the truth we are talking about," Yulian's hand cupped your cheek, "I know you have it hard, but I too, am troubled from it. Do you perhaps view me as an irrespobsible man who leaves his spouse because he feels like it?"

What?

'Run, leave him, just leave him!'

"Have you always viewed me like that dear? I can't fathom how you... thought of me like that even just for the slightest."

Was it not supposed to be the other way around?

"You, you are the one who always thinks of me like that!"

"How could you even say that?"

How could you even say that to me then?

'Stop listening to him!'

Yulian's hands clasped your ears, his face close to yours.

"How could you even think of something so shallow?"

'ADAMMMMMMM!!!!'

"Have you never even considered my love to be real just even for once?"

You don't feel like thinking anymore. You don't feel like listening to them both anymore.

"Don't worry dear, I'll make sure to ease those doubts away. Just listen to me and everything will be alright."

'Do----'

Yes, that sounds just right. Right?

"How about you take those pills first?"

Yes, they always calm you down.

[ningningsdream]

[4:28AM] "i still love you, y/n. it was dumb of me to let you go.", ex! jeno pleaded as he stood on your doorstep at an ungodly hour in the night, "everything i see reminds me of you. i've tried to move on but i can't help myself comparing everyone with you. i miss you even when i'm in a room full of people to distract me.", jeno rambled, his rosy cheeks hinting that he was probably a little tipsy.

today would've been your fifth-year anniversary if you stayed together.

"i thought of you every single day for almost a whole year after we broke up.", you said, looking at him.

"me-"

"let me finish.", you interrupted him, holding your index up, "i tried so hard not to, but it felt like the more i was trying to not think of you, the more i did. you were the first and last person i talked to every single day. some mornings, when i was still in a sleepy haze, i found myself looking at my phone to see if you had texted me and when reality hit me, it was another kind of pain. you were part of my everyday, you became a habit. it's hard getting rid of habits. i had to get used to say that i didn't have a boyfriend when asked about relationships, and i couldn't use 'my boyfriend and i already planned something' when i wanted to get out of things. i was wondering if i was the only one that had to hold myself back from sending you a text. i was wondering if you too, struggled with not having me in your life anymore."

"i did. i do. so much, y/n. you don't know how much i want to go back to slap some sense into myself and not break up with you. i was so overwhelmed with graduation, work and keeping up with family and friends that i thought i needed to get rid of something."

"so you got rid of me..."

"and i regret it so fucking much. the minute i saw the tears in your eyes i regretted it. i thought it was for the better, i was so busy i couldn't even be a proper boyfriend to you, and you deserved better than that. i thought letting you go was the best for the both of us."

"the best? i cried every single night for three months straight. not only because i missed you, but because as you said i deserved better. i knew that... i knew it but i also knew that if you showed up like this at my door back then i would've taken you back in a heartbeat. and it made me hate myself, because i loved you more than i loved myself."

"i'm so sorry, y/n. i really am-"

"babe! where are you?", you heard bf!renjun screaming from your room, with his sleepy and worried voice.

"i'll be right back, junnie.", you answered with a little smile on your face, imagining your boyfriend with his eyes closed and a pout on his face as his arm was lying on your empty side of the bed. you turned back to face jeno, whose face seemed like he saw a ghost, "jeno, i appreciate the apology... but you're a little too late. i've stopped waiting for you a long time ago.", you gave him a small apologetic smile.

jeno looked at you and realized how much he fucked up. you've rightfully moved on and he was the only one being stuck in something he created. when you replied to your boyfriend, that was when he noticed the smile on your face, the same smile that used to be directed to him, and that was the only time he saw you express happiness since he appeared on your doorstep.

"fuck, you're really here.", a familiar voice said right after you heard the elevator doors open.

"i really wished i was wrong.", another familiar voice said.

you turned your head and saw two people, you thought you wouldn't see again, walking towards your apartment.

"time to go home, samoyed."

"haechan. jaemin.", you greeted your ex's bestfriends.

"sorry for the disruption.", ex's bestfriend!haechan told you before grabbing jeno's arm and putting it around his shoulders, helping his friend walk away from your apartment and your life.

"how have you been ?", your old childhood bestfriend!jaemin said, letting jeno and haechan walk away first.

"great...you?"

"same."

the feeling of awkwardness and nostalgia could be sensed in the air. you looked at each other a few more seconds as all the memories of your friendship, from when you met in kindergarten to when he stayed by jeno's side when you two broke up, flashed through your eyes.

"baaaabeee!!", your boyfriend whined from far away, "come baaaack!"

"well, it's late. we're going to let you go back to your night. sorry about that.", jaemin nodded towards your ex, "and everything else...", hinting at his own mistakes.

you nodded, acknowledging his apology, "bye, jaem.", you gave him one last smile. it had been a while since he heard his nickname coming out of your mouth.

"bye, y/n.", jaemin returned your smile.

you watched him walk away with his two other friends, knowing that your byes stood as an official farewell to your friendship and his presence in your life.

masterlist