#but I don't really believe the text supports that reading of her character

[gudvina]

In regarding to Effie/Hayffie (just briefly mentioned but i will include it) I feel like Katniss being a limited narrator (in the sense that she doesn't take a third party approach, and tells her story from the point of view she held while living its events) is something that's important to take in consideration.

What we do know of book Haymitch and book Effie (more so the latter) is limited to what Katniss sees firsthand.

Solely speaking about Effie, Katniss tells us a few things:

1. she's compassionate towards her and Peeta, and towards other victors too ("Oh, not Cecilia..." and her talking about Chaff)

2. Haymitch has an habit of defending her, and she does the same in the limits of her capacity

3. She is very observant; she sees that Katniss isn't able to sleep and gives her sleeping pills. She cares.

4. She was the one who proposed the tokens for the 75th HG.

Of course we don't get her full point of view or opinion, but that'd because Katniss genuinely didn't know, nor does she know about what happened to her in MJ until Flavius, Venia and Octavia tell her.

There is a lot that's said between the lines, that's easily forgettable but that make up her character and give us more context about what goes on with her.

Again, she's a character that's highly open to interpretation, because we don't know anything about her apart from these little tidbits Katniss shows us, and so it goes with Hayffie, if we want to make a stretch.

We only know that they often bicker, but we also see her defend Haymitch's role as a mentor, ally with him for Katniss and Peeta's sake and, again, we are told Haymitch will defend Effie.

And we are also told, in the end, that Haymitch and Plutarch take great pain to keep her alive.

Can't stress enough that the interpretations are endless, but the idea of Effie being more than a morally grey character (like an antagonist, or worse, a villain) is a stretch, given what we do know about her.

[padmestrilogy]

Anakin and Padmé as courtly love/exhalation of the beloved lady ???

They have the forbiddeness, the secrecy, the knight/lady dynamic, the purity of the love

(including these paintings to set the mood, and help remind people of what this kinda imagery is)

anakin and padme’s relationship is absolutely modeled off those ideals of “courtly love,” of something wholly pure and good despite the battle raging around. their romance is intentionally fantastical and high-stakes: it must end in death/rebirth, heaven/hell, there's no room for moderation. and with such a strong fictional lineage of doomed lovers to look back on, casting padme as a maiden saying farewell to a knight just feels right.

the really interesting part about this reading—to me at least—is you can come at it from a "believer" angle, and a "skeptic" angle. or, text v. subtext.

the "believer" angle is a straightforward applying of the "courtly love" fantasy onto the anidala dynamic. this angle disregards a lot of common criticisms of their relationship (anakin's awkard flirting, those stiff first dates, padme's reaction to the tusken massacre, etc etc), in favor of looking at what the plot demands of them. because if anakin and padme really are this great romance that splits the galaxy apart, these criticisms don't matter. their broad declarations of love are not structural weaknesses, but the whole point. what they as characters symbolize (truth v. lies, good v. evil, water v. fire, peace v. war) in the text et large is the source of their love for another, and questions like "but why would padme go for whiny anakin??" are completely off base. (i like this reading, i hope i'm not coming off as patronizing.)

the "skeptic" angle has anakin and padme seeing the other as fulfillment of their courtly love fantasy, and using these dual delusions as explanation for their worse moments. i.e. having padme idealize anakin as her only freedom from the oppressive queen/senator lifestyle as the reason behind her feelings for him. where i think this gets cool is interpreting padme as a religious figure, someone who is elevated to high status in society for her "purity" and goodness, but also objectified and dehumanized. "courtly love" is a deeply religious concept, and the "idealized beloved" is too. the most sympathetic reading of padme out there, imo, is she spent her whole life trying to be more than just queen of naboo and feel something real.

with anidala, you can have them truly be each other's only source of good and light, or you can have them build up impossible expectations of the other that all come crashing down. and both these readings are supported by the text, we have fun over here

[windienine]

the best game of 2024 was an hour-long visual novel demo, and i can't tell you how it ends

attack and dethrone god.

okay. oh my god. soul of sovereignty by ggdg (of lady of the shard & deltarune fame) is discounted for only a few more days, so i need to get this one out while the iron's hot.

so: i'm inviting you along on another journey. we're following a polite gentleman of the wizardly inclination (loïc) who is approached by a sickly woman in dire need (ysmé). all she requests, in her plea, is an escort to guide her to the nearby temple. his decision to support her may turn out to be the most important choice he ever makes.

... have you ever enjoyed the kind of narrative that traps two people with heavily contrasting motives and personalities together in an unbreakable contract? do you like stories of absolute devotion?

i could look at this shot forever ngl

... are you compelled by immersive speculative fantasy worlds where the use and study of magic heavily influences the rhythm of people's day-to-day lives?

(really intriguing magical linguistics system going on here)

... do you ever promise too much of yourself to others, sometimes, even when it's a bad idea?

... if it was possible -- if you could -- would you abandon your humanity for the power to change your world forever?

and, whatever you may feel in your heart about the above...

do you want to see behind the eyes of a hot trans girl as she bullshits her way into a truly volatile level of power and influence and gets everything she wants?

(+ her pet dilf lovely assistant)

if even one of these elicited a "yes," i think you'll love this story.

i'll go out of a limb:

i think, if you open up your heart, you'll find yourself falling for both of the leads. It's a game that really wants you to look at it from every angle, take it apart, and ask questions about loïc, ysmé, their stories, and what they believe to be true about the world and one another. subtext -- especially the charged subtext this story throws at you and hopes you'll piece together -- is a beautiful thing.

the number of talksprites in this demo is kind of staggering

the jrpg-inspired world of the mosaic and its surroundings is as vibrant as it is profoundly lonely, color folded into every facet of its character as you move through it. appropriately, it's really invested in a lot of questions that arise not just from high fantasy as a genre, but from the modern fantasy sensibilities of jrpgs and the interrogation of what divinity even means in a world where the gods are forces you can interact with and draw power from, however indirectly.

what can i even say? that gg and toby fox's collab score for the prelude is downright heavenly and made it onto my work playlist right alongside the deltarune ost the day it came out on bandcamp? that gg's art, especially their use of light, conveys every scene with vivid beauty?

i wouldn't be posting so much of it if i didn't want to eat every CG. oh my god. he's so pretty. it's not even fair

beyond all of that, i think the game's main resonance point with people is that gg's writing is genuinely thoughtful. they use art detail and deft character writing to convey everything about the leads, using the limited time you get with it to paint layers and layers of information on who these people are and why they make the decisions they do. soulsov's roughly an-hour-and-change of text, expressive talksprites, and lush CGs is infused with so much heart and so much horror and so much intrigue that it leaves you feeling like you're a part of this world, carried along for the ride right alongside the two leads. gg clearly really adores these two, and that level of passion makes everything loïc and ysmé do shine even brighter. in spite of (or perhaps because of) all their friction and flaws, they're easy to love.

(it's really fun to read aloud as a script, too! ysmé's a hoot.)

i hope you experience it with high expectations and an open heart. i don't think it will disappoint. it is, perhaps, just a little bit magical.

i hope you see it through to the end!

[herejusttosufferalong]

Spain-happened-right-after-GQ-theory anon here. This time I want to say something about the photo N posted of her and L as P and C. I'll say again, as a preface, that I believe L and A are done (and I also don't think that N and JD are romantic).

I am an art historian, analyzing visual information while using textual information as base is what I do, and I specifically inquire a lot into image-text relationships. That is to say I can only speculate on Lukola, as anybody else, but here's my reading.

I struggle to understand why some people read such a positive photo of N and L as Polin in such a negative way (goodbye to L, giving him all to A). Yes, the caption alone is ambiguous, but when text comes with an image, neither one of them should be isolated. N's post has both. The caption is accompanied by a helpful illustration, or rather the text here is illustrating the image. We see smiling, cuddling newlywed Polin, who are actually N and L as it's a photo from the set but not a shot from a scene in the show. They're dressed as Polin, but not in character. Please remember also the timing it was posted (dates are important in history). It was after N fed us with crumbs such as the two songs (which started soon after Italy and the paps happy birthday wishes to CW) but before the photos with JD (of which she must have known) came out. She wanted to send a message to us and with the positive elements of the specific photo she chose, I believe it's a positive, assuring one. She didn't choose a Polin shot from the show and she didn't choose a photo of them as themselves. She left it ambiguous *enough but not too much* on purpose. It was her last message, on her grid (the pal story was probably a supportive message for 24 hours against the hateful comments on MD's post). All the other stuff (festival photos, Malta) didn't come directly from her. My bottom line is, let's trust N and the message she sent (image+text together), and take into consideration that it would be a really weird photo to pick to convey such a bleak message.

Hard disagree but y’all already know that

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hi there! First of all, I want to express my undying love for everything you write, it's absolutely amazing the way you describe Aemond's character.

May I request something about reader dealing with her period and Aemond taking care of her (maybe he wants to know anything about it to help her relax and relieve her pain and everything turns to sexual, it's up to you, really) since I'm one that suffer enough during those days and it would be of comfort to read something about it.

Thank you very much!

That is really sweet of you to say, thank you so much! I appreciate you and your support!

I'm a stickler for canon, I don't write modern AUs, so am basing this on the rough time period that HotD is set in (medieval era) - religious shame caused people to go to great lengths to hide their periods, and they even believed that cramps were a divine punishment for Eve's original sin. Since cramps were seen as a punishment, people who were menstruating weren't offered pain relief medicine (mostly herbal remedies at the time). There are few records from this era regarding the menstrual cycle/women's anatomy, as most medical texts were written by monks.

With this in mind, I'm going to write this from the perspective that both our character and Aemond are pretty clueless when it comes matters of "moon's blood", but Aemond is a naturally curious individual, so we are going to get real squicky with it. Anyway, I've rambled enough - onto the fic!

Warnings: Periods, smut, religious shame, clueless behaviour regarding women's anatomy, slight hematolagnia. Word count: ~1000

She awakens to intense cramping in her lower belly and a stickiness between her thighs. Pulling back the sheets, she gasps as she sees the crimson stains on both her nightgown and the bed.

This is the first time she's gotten her moon's blood since her and Aemond wed. She had hoped it wouldn't come at all, they hadn't been married long, but their coupling was frequent. They were both eager for a child, though it was more than apparent that they derived great pleasure from the act of attempting to create one too.

This is divine punishment cast down from the Mother for not having fulfilled her duty as a wife, she is certain of it. Her body has failed to produce a child, so now she must suffer the consequences.

She groans as her womb contracts painfully and yet more wetness blooms between her legs.

Aemond stirs beside her, voice still thick with sleep. "Are you alright, my love?"

She huffs, shifting uncomfortably and attempting to cover the stains, as her cheeks burn with shame. "It is nothing, go back to sleep."

"You are in pain." Her murmurs, taking in her furrowed brow and clenched jaw as he rouses to full wakefulness. His right eye goes wide as he spots red on the sheets, and he moves as quick as his grogginess will allow into a seated position to pull them back from her body. "Are you hurt?!"

Hot tears prickle her eyes, her chest feels heavy under the weight of her embarrassment as she covers her face with her hands, unable to bear the shocked expression on Aemond's face. "It is my moon's blood. I am sorry. What must you think of me?!"

Gently he pries her hands away, his expression softens noticeably. Concern is now etched across his features. "Is it painful?"

She sniffles and nods her head.

"I will call for the Maester, there is likely a herbal remedy he can-"

"No!" She cuts him off abruptly, gripping his arm in case he decides to leave the bed. "This is my punishment from the Mother for not producing an heir. I must endure it."

He sighs, giving her a small nod. He regards her carefully then asks "Where does it hurt?"

"Here." She responds placing her hand on her lower belly.

Gently, Aemond coaxes her hand away, replacing it with his own. The warmth and gentle pressure alleviates a little of the pain and she lets out a sigh of relief.

"Does that feel good?"

"Mmm." Is her only response as her eyes flutter closed.

His fingers drift to the hem of her nightgown and he pauses, looking back up to her face. "May I?"

She opens her eyes, looking at him quizzically. She knows Aemond has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, but never anticipated it stretching quite so far. "It is unsightly." She whispers.

"I have lost an eye, it will take more than a little blood to startle me."

He does not wait for a response as he lifts her nightgown above her hips.

She watches, her heart thudding loudly in her rib cage as he drinks in the sight of the ichor that's smeared across her thighs.

Dexterous fingers coax them apart and run through the slickness of the blood that decorates their insides. He brings them up to his face to inspect, running the pad of his thumb across the red that now stains his fingertips.

"It is thicker than the blood I am used to seeing." He says in a matter of fact tone. "When people bleed in the training yard it is not quite so...viscous."

She stares at him with bated breath, not knowing what to do or say. This is so unbelievably crass she can't quite believe it's happening.

"Allow me a better look." He says, pulling her legs further apart and kneeling between them.

"I have got to be dreaming." She thinks. "Nothing like this could possibly happen in reality."

He swipes through her folds and she elicits a breathy moan. She is more sensitive than usual and his touch sends white hot sparks jolting through her body.

His gaze snaps to hers, a look of excitement bubbling beneath his usually composed exterior as he smirks. "You liked that?"

She nods enthusiastically, not quite knowing how to articulate what she wants to say. "It feels...it just feels more...more..."

Aemond chuckles. "And if I were to fuck you, do you think it would feel more?"

Her mouth falls open at his question, anticipation fizzling in her blood as she spots the length of him standing fully to attention against his lower abdomen. "I-I don't know." She stammers.

"Sinful, sinful, sinful." She thinks, but her mind goes blank the moment Aemond slips inside of her, the added lubrication of her bleeding creating less resistance than he would usually be met with.

He lets out a groan, eye screwing shut and jaw going slack. "Gods...your cunt...it feels..."

"More?" She offers with a giggle.

Her giggles turn to lewd moans as Aemond begins to thrust inside of her. Everything feels too much and yet not enough all at once. It's as though every nerve ending is ablaze with sensation and as the familiar ache begins to build deep within her, she knows she won't last long.

The wet sounds of Aemond pushing and pulling in and out of her, coupled with the slapping of skin and their mingling pants of pleasure create a cacophony that's absolutely obscene.

As she falls over the proverbial edge, her vision goes spotty with the intensity of it, her back arching off of the bed to push her body against Aemond's as she lets out a strangled cry.

The forcefulness of how she spasms around him rips his own end from him, and he spills inside of her with a string of High Valyrian obscenities tumbling from his lips.

He collapses against her and they both lay there for a few minutes, basking in each other's sweaty afterglow while they catch their breath.

Eventually, Aemond pulls out, watching with fascination as his seed mixed with her blood trickles from her.

"We should do this again." He muses quietly.

"My pain has gone." She says, a tinge of surprised wonder in her tone.

He stares at her, almost prideful. "Then we are definitely doing this again."

[rockwgooglyeyes]

rock's thoughts on ivantill (nsfw edition)

trigger/content warning: open and uncensored discussion of nsfw content (smut specifically) I'm not tagging this as mature and leaving it up to the reader's discretion whether or not they're able to handle this. I'm not incredibly explicit but I am talking about something inherently nsfw.

the thing about nsfw is that, when it comes to fandom, it often is based less on the characters themselves and more on whatever the fans want to see. I say this about fandom in general, btw, not ALNST in particular- in my experience with nsfw (fanfic anyways) in fandom, is that a lot of it comes down to writer preference rather than the actual characters themselves. It's literally playing with dolls and this isn't necessarily a bad thing! It's pretty much what fan content is for, right? It's just something that doesn't sit super well with me and it's something I don't really understand- if you want to make a specific dynamic, why not just make ocs that can similar or the same personalities as the characters that you enjoy and yet their dynamic fits with what you want.

Like overall when it comes to my opinions (and these are opinions, preferences if you will), I might as well be up front- when it comes to the ships that are common in the ALNST fandom, I think that while mizisua and hyunamizi definitely switch, out of mizisua? Sua is the top imo. on the other hand, I think that it would be a lot more interesting if either hyunamizi were switch-centric or Mizi topped, just because of what that would say about her relationship growth as well as her character growth. With hyunaluka (which is not a ship that I enjoy but I respect those that do obviously) I think Hyuna tops mostly. With ivantill, I see Ivan as a bottom and Till as the top. Sometimes they switch, no one is exclusively one or the other- and I am fully in support of them being switches because I believe most relationships are fluid and have the inherent capacity for switching, top/bottom is about preference but I do think it's rare. I don't know, smut can be part of the relationship to me and the dynamic when it comes to sexual encounters is important to me with a couple.

I don't know, maybe it's because I'm one of those people where my headcanons have to be related to the text somehow (and I don't say this in a way that's derogatory to people who don't have that- honestly I kind of admire you guys, it seems freeing. I'm just extremely autistic about this) but idk the way people intrepret Ivan in the ALNST fandom is super interesting. This is mainly going to be talking about ivantill because to be perfectly honest, I think people are weirder about mlm ships than they are about wlw ships, when it comes to their characterization? But I haven't read as much wlw nsfw so I can't fully speak to this. But when it comes to Ivantill, I have found some people who's opinions I love. Some people I agree with even if I don't agree with everything. But then there are some folks that are so out there like I wanna study you guys underneath a microscope y'all are so peculiar. yeah yeah he's King Yaoi the Third, he's tall dark and handsome, whatever. he's a little freak, I want to put him in a jar and shake him up, I understand, but at the same time sometimes the reading comprehension with people seems not so bueno.

In the fandom overall, (not just on tumblr dot com) people like him as top and I think that, to a degree, that is supported by the text. At least, some of the additional art from Vivinos/Qmeng, that’s supported

(^ the amount of horny comments on this image *sighs*)

But for me? I don’t like that as much (even though I’ve read some fanfic with it that I liked just fine.)

This is because of the way that this interpretation of their relationship feeds into that surface level analysis of both Ivan and Till's character? Ivan is the violently jealous lover, the one who watches from afar and seethes with envy, he’s the unfeeling pretty boy who only loves one person, he’s willing to do whatever it takes to keep that person. Till is the tsundere, the person who plays at strength but weakens at the first touch of someone stronger, easily flustered and even easier to cow into submission- but the thing is? We know that's not true for either of them, it's not supported by their backgrounds, their other actions, the context of their trauma. which makes that characterization super funny (to me) when this series is kind of about peeling back the edges of outward perception, with Mizi, Ivan, Luka and Hyuna especially.

While top/bottom isn't necessarily a power dynamic, when in the context of certain relationships, it can definitely take on the connotations of power. In Ivan and Till's relationship, the person who has the power is Till.

Out of the two of them, Ivan is not the person with the power and that's honestly the main issue that I have with the way that people portray him. In the top Ivan fics that I actually like, he's not the one with the power, he is only where he is because Till wanted them to get this far, he is at Till's mercy and he's loving it. The issue I take with those who portray him as domineering and controlling is that he doesn't try to control Till in canon. He might have concocted the incident with the wagyein and Mizi but after that? Ivan isn't trying to force Till into anything, he isn't controlling the situation, he isn't even trying to get Till to do anything but react. Ivan would do anything that Till wanted him to, no questions asked. For those who take the possessive angle with Ivan, the problem I have is that Ivan has no desire to own Till. He's obsessed with Till, yeah, but it's in the way that you love your favorite band- you love them to bits, you listen to all of their songs, you go to a concert, you have their merch- but you would still respect their choices, right? You would be disappointed if they decided to break up but you wouldn't force them to get back together. That's the difference between Ivan's obsession and Luka's- Luka thinks that he deserves Hyuna's affection in exchange for loving her (it's transactional), whereas Ivan is under no illusion that he is entitled to Till's affections.

On the flipside, when Till is portrayed as the tsundere who cares but refuses to show it because of his pride, well, that one's a little tougher because the main problem is execution. Till does really care about people but his affection isn't shown out of a matter of pride- he shows his affection for Mizi quite freely, after all, if he was really worried about vulnerability, I feel like he might be a little more conservative with his adoration. Often times, he doesn't show his care for people clearly because he doesn't really know how, defaulting to blushing and stuttering, gifts and acts of service to get his point across. He's not a super verbal-affection oriented guy and I think this is actually portrayed pretty well in the gen fics but not so much in smut because it's not as applicable lmao (comes with the territory ig). When Till is written as really timid, fumbling, innocent (@bluemoonscape called it woobifying), I hate that with a passion because he might fumble and he might get shy sometimes but he is not a pushover. He is not meek and if he doesn't like something, he'll voice his complaints, he'll let you know. I mean why else would he yell at Ivan in their version of My Clematis when Ivan gets too close? Admittedly, Ivan doesn't listen, lost in his monologue, and Till kind of just accepts it- but I am certain that if they were even intimate with each other, that Till would object were he uncomfortable and Ivan would listen. Like, whether Ivan was top or bottom, if Till's not having a good time? Ivan is no longer having a good time. Ivan's pleasure is very much contingent on Till's pleasure, at least, in my mind.

That's all the characterization centered stuff and kind of the reason why I think their relationship just works better with this dynamic *but* one of the biggest reasons it's a preference for me that Ivan bottoms is because of the inherent nature of that dynamic- it's a lot harder to end up fucking someone unwillingly than it is to get fucked by someone. There's a far greater likelihood of reciprocated feelings or at least, consent, when it comes to this version of their relationship and that's what I prefer because I really do think that they love each other.

(tagging @atrophiedemotion because I asked him if he wanted to be and he said yes! Blue is already tagged above too so all of the known interested parties have been notified :D love you guys)

[vegaseatsass]

Alright so 23.5 aka Toxic Positivity: The Series aka Everyone Teaches The Loser Queer Girl The World Is Kinder Than She Thinks By Viciously Gaslighting Her About Homophobia: The Series aka Teacher4Teacher Yuri and Everything Else Is Getting Memoryholed: The Series!!! I'm certain that so many words have been written about this already, but I haven't been on tumblr since Monday so I need to just exorcise my own reactions before I read anyone else's. I am really intentional these days about giving space to art to be descriptive rather than prescriptive, that is, to portray people acting in ways I find annoying or aggravating or cruel or despicable and to not jump to "how DARE this narrative betray me by saying it's good, actually, to be annoying or aggravating or cruel or despicable" even if the people who do those things in the text are supported by the other characters or circumstances in the text. I am very against "character acted badly, therefore bad things should happen to them so we can KNOW the narrative understands they were bad". However!!! For this series to have ONGSA'S OWN PARENTS ACT AS SPOKESPEOPLE FOR SUN'S PERSPECTIVE. Like her parents, who Ongsa was visibly afraid were going to reject her for her queerness, not only not care she's queer (because homophobia is fake in this universe except for Ongsa's inexplicable internalized homophobia which is treated as a character flaw), but behave like automatons Sun programmed dialogue into, scolding Ongsa for 1. not coming out to them sooner 2. "thinking for" Sun, as if that's something they'd have any context for (even IF Aylin and Alpha filled them in). That took the sense of "this narrative is taking Sun's side in her forced outing of her partner, doubling down on it and making sure every single character agrees she was right" to the next fucking level. It had the vibes of being a supportive coming out scene too but they weren't embracing their daughter for who she was - they certainly weren't letting her have her own identity and voice and needs! - they were just drumming home how correct Sun was in her every teenaged interpretation of who Ongsa was and should be. So that moved me firmly away from being able to employ a "Sun is a teenager behaving like a teenager" read on a storyline I find noxious. That moved us firmly into the territory of "we are being strongarmed into agreeing Sun is a JUSTIFIED, morally righteous teenager, who fixed her relationship/girlfriend by outing her against her will." It's just truly flabbergasting to me because without the outing plotline (which I understand was in the novel so maybe that's why it was forced on us despite its dissonance with the rest of the story), there are the ingredients of something I really, truly could have loved:

Sun being scared by the intensity of her own attachment and behaving badly because of it. This is literally one of my number one tropes of all time. I am OBSESSED with people becoming their worst selves because they're so terrified of how in love they are, the depth of their need for their partner.

Sun feeling bitter about giving up her future for Ongsa and not believing Ongsa (ONGSA) would do a similar level gesture for her, when Ongsa doesn't want her to give up her future for her and really Sun's bitterness is an internal cue that she doesn't want to give up her future herself, even if she loves Ongsa desperately and passionately.

Ongsa being so focused on what everyone else thinks of her and Sun that she can't hear Sun tell her what Sun thinks, and wants.

Much more importantly to me, Ongsa being so trapped in articulating her own needs as "I was worried about how things would affect you, Sun!" that she cannot voice her own actual feelings about things: "I don't want to come out because I'm afraid my parents will reject me." "I don't want to come out because I'm not ready for the entire school's hyper-scrutiny on me and my relationships." There was a really narratively rich story there where Ongsa tells Sun everything she does is with Sun in mind, and it takes a little bit of untangling to admit that actually, she has her own needs SUN is not hearing and those fucking matter too.

There was a great, great episode 11 conflict in those dynamics. They could have fought about who sits in front on Sunny the motorbike drawing on those dynamics and given me a more compelling episode than what we actually fucking got. You know? And that's not even getting into the, I feel, missteps with Aylin's writing and that relationship the past two episodes, or the way they won't let MawinTon be great and I'm actually afraid Mawin is going to end the series single and we'll be expected to appreciate how pure his supportive onesided love for Tinh is. Honestly probably good there was no teacher4teacher yuri in ep11 because I'm sure they would have found a way to ruin the number one thing I will be describing as this series' strength going forward. Well, that and the acting. MilkLove are acting their ASSES off. but for what.

[sunnys-aesthetic]

I have had this certain itch to say this. I'm surprised you never got mad or despised Naff for being more well-known about a dca detective au and people stealing your designs to make fanart for her

I had to think over how to respond to this ask because by all means I didn't want to give a quick answer and dip without leaving things properly, genuinely answered or explained. I'd like to minimize any misinterpretations or misunderstandings :<

I think the best way for me to properly address this is to section it into 2 parts? One part for how I feel about Naff and the second part for how I feel about some of my designs being used without credit! Also sorry for any messy typing as admittedly I'm nervous typing all of this out after so much time has passed and I haven't really thought about this in eons FHSKJDHFSDGJKHJF

Long body of text warning So I'll place down a 'keep reading' down here! v

I want to answer this ask truthfully on my experiences and how I overcame this, what my mindset was then, and what it is now.

So! First part- Naffeclipse! Right off the bat I want to say that, no, I don't hate or despise Naff. Yes, I used to feel hurt by how they used my work, but I don't feel that way anymore. I think you're the first ever person to have asked me anything regarding this in almost two years. If I'm honest, no one online has ever made a comment regarding this so I was a little surprised! I began the DCA Detectives and dubbed it "Sleuth Jesters" in my original post back in mid-June 2022. And from there the concept's popularity kinda exploded.

I'm proud of Naff for the wide range of followers, love and support that they've cultivated using my au, and I don't want to take away from the fact that yes, the story, the world, the character interpretations they created was all their own work! That's something i want to make known first and foremost. That is all 100% their own hard work and skill as a writer. And I never want to take credit for that.

Now, I know this may look really unfair and believe me, within the first few months of Sleuth Jesters taking off from not my own platform but from another persons, I thought it was too. I was possibly going through one of my roughest periods, as all of this was very new for me and I had a lot of IRL personal stuff going on at the time. The main reason I hadn't made any remark or mention aside from one post asking for credit the same day I had talked to Naff about it privately in DMS is because I inadvertently developed imposter syndrome with the whole situation, and I privately decided to not work on that au of my own volition and lack of want to continue it on my own terms!

Why did you have imposter syndrome? Well! Because for me personally it was a feeling of 'hey! I know you racked up tons of followers and created a big platform, and you personally put the work into it, but can I please be credited for your hard work? Because they're my initial idea and designs?' was essentially my mindset for months back then, it was a sticky tricky situation! ^^; and it was not very healthy for me.

However I don't want to dive into too many details on my emotional & mental wellbeing during 2023! I was a new artist, and I was absolutely scared I would be the one who would make or initiate the first large discourse within the DCA community if I spoke up about it, possibly receive unwarranted hate or backlash, and I felt the pressure was really on me to keep the peace because as far as I had known, the DCA community hadn't had any 'big drama' since its making during that time.

But! At the same time all of this was happening I moreso delved into making my oc cloud drop + being with friends and having fun, and I simply personally didn't want to continue the AU anymore. It was not entirely due to Naff's usage but also because I simply just didn't have the time or energy for it! That's all there was to it. I struggled yes, sure! but,

What matters to me is not how or what i think or say, but how I choose to act or deal with situations that can be stressful or uncomfortable in the general sense. and despite any negative feelings I may have had, I think kindness can live a lot longer than any hatred ever could. I don't physically have it in me to hate someone or hold a grudge for too long, even in the heat of the moment, and I hope this mentality can be applied to anyone who reads this as well ^.^ Communication is key to me in any relationship, even if i know you or don't know you! And if you are not willing to make that effort in talking or speaking up it will negatively affect you in the long run. And I made that mistake by waiting for too long! sorry that was cheesy haha but its a personal mindset i live with.

So to answer the first part of the question, yes I used to be upset, but I'm not anymore.

What about the people who used your design(s) to make fanart for her?

wwweell, ill admit this was actually one of the bigger things that hurt me the most at the time, Nowadays I am being more properly credited, even if there's a few people who forget to credit me I wont take it personally. It's a much better improvement compared to when I hadn't spoken at all about it.

It's already gotten to a point where its thousands of people who associate the fanart to their fiction, and even if it wasn't with my permission at the time, it is now! We can't really force or change what happened in the past but at the v least I hope those who will make fanart are a little more aware of who to give their credits to! I still enjoy seeing everyone's art! ^^

tl;dr, i was really sad and hurt by it at the TIME, and yes it messed me up but not once did I despise Naff as person at all. Everything's all good now and I'm doing much better and all I can ask for now is the continued credit for at least my au and my designs ♡

And i very VERY VERY much urge you all TO NOT give any animosity towards naffeclipse as I already know they did not mean any of this in any ill will at all since the beginning, and we both already talked about it mid last year c:>

[itsclydebitches]

Did I just saw with my own two eyes an episode, where Ted’s mother shows up and acts in this very disinterested “I am not interested in you and your achievements whatsoever, you are not even the main attraction of this trip and I’m going to tell you that in this indirect passive-aggressive way, but at the same time I AM here because I am displeased with you, now guess what’s wrong while I tell lies about you to your friends and colleagues. The lies that are kind of nice but also lies and it makes you feel uncomfortable and I do not care”.

And then Ted goes back to Kansas where he can’t have his career, his friends, but he will be in contact with Michelle (who dates their couple therapist, and that is something that makes Ted very uncomfortable) and mom???? Like? And Henry never asked him to return and in fact is not suffering at all. Henry is shown to be fine. He never has meltdowns when he leaves London, he doesn’t express any hurt feelings towards Ted. They seem to just have an unconventional arrangement and Henry misses Ted, but doesn’t feel neglected. It also seems like his mom just believes that Ted should be home with his son, an unassuming father who doesn’t have public panic attacks and causes her embarrassment??? Because the way she showed him the clippings from the papers?? Boy! I don’t know how else to interpret that tbh

Ted has just achieved one of the best moments in his career and his mom actively and purposefully poisoned that moment for him, this whole thing is being contrasted to Jamie’s mom, I just don’t believe that Ted is going to stay in Kansas. That can’t be.

Also I feel like the tedependance tinfoil hat is not a tinfoil hat at all because actually! Ted having suppressed a huge part about himself (bisexuality), and not being able to live his life because of his roots works really well here.

It's precisely readings like this that make me hope a permanent Kansas ending can't be possible and likewise believe that if that is our ending... Ted Lasso will have failed in a pretty significant way. Even just a few episodes ago I was fully on team, "I 100% don't want Ted to return to Kansas, but if he does I accept that this was an ending long in the making and just because I personally dislike it doesn't make it bad." Now though? They've introduced so much lately -- and emphasized so much else from past seasons, like Ted's rocky relationship with Michelle/Jake -- that I just can't read Kansas as a positive ending for Ted anymore. It's not just me and my preferences anymore, I don't think that ending fits the show, period. Is, in fact, a betrayal of everything Ted Lasso has argued for.

Ted's mom was a big part of that feeling this episode, as you've nicely laid out, anon. It's no coincidence that in an episode titled "Mom City," Ted's story with his mother does not run parallel to Jamie's (unfailingly supportive, knows him better than he knows himself, Jamie comes to her when he's ready, an act of agency that Dottie doesn't allow Ted), but rather closer to Jamie's dad. Which I don't mean as a way to say, "She's abusive!" but rather the more nuanced take that we end the episode on: You can forgive someone while still acknowledging that they've hurt you so badly. Ted, normally so polite with his "Oh boy"s and "Darn"s and "Shucks"s really says it all with a string of direct, angry, "Fuck you"s. That level of anger and disappointment will not be magically fixed with one dinner. By continually introducing Kansas-aligned characters that make Ted uncomfortable at best, uncharacteristically angry at worst, it HEAVILY sells the idea that the space itself is no longer healthy for him. He can slowly rebuild those relationships -- and arguably should -- but that's not the same thing as throwing himself back into their mix. Allowing Ted to stay in London with visits from his family is akin to Jamie remaining removed from his dad, but sending him a text on his own terms.

As for Henry, yeah. I've been arguing for ages that Henry does not act like someone who feels abandoned and the few arguments I've seen fans bring up aren't very persuasive to me. Basically, framing every normal child struggle as a result of Ted's distance. Henry being a short-term bully is not automatically some cry for attention tethered to an absent dad -- there's no evidence for that, especially when Henry uses Ted's own teachings to realize his mistake and apologize -- and him being sad with Beard is because he's finally seeing his dad and Ted is ignoring him. I'd be sad too if I hadn't seen someone in a while and they were spiraling instead of hanging with me. That doesn't mean I need them to drastically change their life to accommodate me in new ways. Henry as a character needs to be allowed to make mistakes without that automatically reflecting badly on what Ted has chosen for his own happiness and mental health. Anyway, yeah, Henry has consistently been shown to likewise be happy, well-adjusted, and fully engaged with Ted through visits/over Zoom, so this claim that Henry needs his dad in this way doesn't jive with three seasons of Henry flourishing through Ted's parenting this other way.

All of which means that, frankly, I think we should take Dottie's "Your son misses you" with a serious grain of salt. That's a damn broad statement because of COURSE Henry misses Ted and vice versa, but that basic reality of missing people in life when you're separated from them doesn't mean he misses him in the way that I think Dottie is implying: he's hurting to an extent that you need to fix in this specific way (moving back home). Beyond everything you've listed about how Dottie makes Ted uncomfortable, I think it's significant that she has Very Traditional Ideas about how this family should function. She couches it in a lot of humor and starts to demonstrate a bit more open-mindedness at the end of the episode, but we're still left with:

Telling all Ted's friends that he's done Amazing, Unique, Super Cool Things That are Objectively Impressive. To be clear, I found her interactions with the team as funny and surface-wholesome as we were supposed to, but I do think there was this underlying implication that Dottie is not as satisfied with Ted's choices as Ted himself is, so she 'accidentally' makes up stories that make him seem 'better' than he actually is. This is compounded by what you've pointed out, about how she only gives a cursory congratulations for this MONUMENTAL achievement. Compare that to Jamie's mom absolutely loosing her shit in support of him.

She brings the 'gift' of the clippings -- Ted should be GRATEFUL for this. Only a terrible son would be upset by a mother keeping track of his accomplishments! -- which not only include the headlines about the panic attacks, but she's situated them front and center, ensuring they're the first thing Ted sees. Combine that with her 'concerned' question about whether he's still getting panic attacks and you have this strong implication that Ted Is Bad For Showing Weakness. Men don't do that. The Lassos don't do that. They bury things in positivity, even the suicide of a father/husband. The fact that Ted immediately lies and says the panic attacks are gone says it all. He knows trying to explain this to her is a lost cause.

Speaking of mental health, are you really seeing that therapist? Oh, well, good for you, I guess. Me? No, no, no, I would never see one. I'm going to be suspicious of it to the point of implying that it's a flaw to need one. This is the one point where I cut Dottie a lot of slack because Ted himself went through the same arc of needing to accept the benefits of therapy, but we're nevertheless seeing where he (in part) got that biased perspective from.

There are a lot of throwaway lines that paint Dottie as a Good Traditional Mother, very much in contrast to Ted Lasso's queer, open-minded, gender roles-bending world. She continually reminds him that she is NOT having sex, it's those Australians. Why-ever would an older woman be having loud, enthusiastic sex? (Compare that to Rebecca nearly getting it on with the boat guy, a celebration of romance and sexuality for older women.) Dottie can't take the bed. That's not the polite thing to do. She needs to be coaxed into accepting even the simplest of care while, simultaneously, expecting Ted to offer it despite the inconvenience. (If I bring up the awful hostel I've been staying in you'll offer to let me crash here instead, right?). That's one of the big differences between Ted and his mother: Ted has a lot of trouble accepting help, but honestly doesn't expect anything in return for the intense kindness he doles out to others. In contrast, Dottie has trouble admitting that she's accepting help, she pretends to do the nice thing while waiting for someone to insist strongly enough that she do what she's wanted to do from the get-go, then she's off the hook because, well, they basically made her. Will Dottie go to a football game like Henry and Higgins and Rebecca and Keeley and Bex and all the other emotionally open characters, screaming for her son in the midst of chaotic action? Oh no. No, no, no, that's not for her. She'll just stay home and do the Proper Thing of making a home-cooked dinner for her little boy... while making him feel guilty about that by sending texts about how now she kinda does wish she was at the game. The conclusion to their moment of honesty and growth is Ted (a man, the child in the relationship) serving her (the woman, the mother) for once, which I think highlights how much of the Good Traditional Kansas Woman mask Dottie has learned to maintain.

All of which is to say that we've been introduced to a loving but incredibly flawed mother who puts a LOT of stock in old-school values and appearances. There's no way that this all doesn't extend to her views on Henry, her grandson. Right now, Dottie is not someone who can fully embrace Ted's nontraditional style of life (divorced, in therapy, taking some risks like drinking not-actually-drugged tea) or parenting (long-distance, "It takes a village"). She doesn't outright reject Ted's choices, but she does spend the entire episode being passive-aggressive, even manipulative at times, to make it very clear that she does not approve of all this. When she says, "Your son misses you" it reads as a very biased view of the situation, driven by the idea that no child could possibly be happy without that nuclear family living their white-picket fence life in the good old US-of-A. Ted needs to move back to Kansas not because of Henry, but because that's what Good Fathers Do. I don't think Dottie should be seen as a reliable source here for what Henry actually wants or needs. She certainly hasn't been a reliable source for Ted.

Which -- as said numerous times -- paints Kansas in an incredibly negative light. We haven't actually seen Ted in Kansas on the show, so our understanding of his relationship with that place is filtered through the people living there. Michelle, Jake, and Dottie are all emotional landmines that Ted still needs a lot of time to diffuse and Henry is written as perfectly content with their arrangement. If Ted permanently goes back to Kansas I'm really gonna be ????????????????????????????????? about it.

[justaviewer345]

My first pride month (sorry, there's a lot text here)

Last October, I started questioning my sexuality. I was (and still am, really) an insecure person. So when I started questioning that particular aspect of my personality, accompanying thoughts began to creep in: "Seriously? You are already 20! You never questioned yourself before, but right now decided to? Why? Got bored because of the large amount of free time? Have you forgotten, that you study at the university?! You must focus your thought on this, not that! Why don't you get back to the box, where you exist as a standard girl, who is confident at least in some parts of her identity? Where everything is more simple."

Summarize of my personal experience:

I got interested in R-rated content only because I thought that I was lagging behind the others: "Okay, my classmates got interested into all of this stuff 2 years ago. I guess I should too. That's what teens usually do, right?"

I had crushes (on fictional characters, celebrities and a few classmates), but it was more like an admiration, appreciation of their aesthetic beauty (like a sculpture or a painting) or love for their personality. And I never wanted to "bone" them. Seeing an image of a favourite character on a dakimakura was feeling like: "Oh, okay. I can see the creator's train of thoughts. I appreciate the quality of work. I don't mind other people wanting to buy something like that. But it's not something I would like to have. Seeing a character half-naked seems like I'm violating their personal space. Too intimate. I would rather have a pin or a poster." I am more into fluff. Also like the idea of being buddies with the favourite character and being happy for their happiness with someone else.

When I became an adult, I understood, that I never want to act flirty around guys, or anyone really. For me it feels out of character. And never want my body to be sexualized. Icky.

My view on relationship was either a "hopeless romantic" one, or a "trying to logically or mathematically figure out how relationship work" one. It took me time to believe that two people can barely know one another to "jump right to action" and/or to start dating. I saw that in movies, read about that in book, heard about that in real life, but couldn't believe it or accept it. Because I always thought that choosing a partner takes time and "the thing" is one of the ways to show them your love for them. Like a catharsis, a quintessence of love. Something special for someone special (I'm and idiot, I know).

However, I always saw these things as a prove that I just have a childish outlook on life. That I'm just a dumb kid, who tries to understand the world of adults. I wanted to understand, why I felt that my experience differed from the people who surrounded me; but I couldn't identify myself as ace because back then I knew only about demi and grey. I didn't know that this spectrum has more labels.

I've finally found the answer to my question. It feels releaving and scary at the same time. And yet I feel happy.

P.S. I want to say "thank you" to two of my friends in real life, who supported me, after I came out to them.

[saintsenara]

Weird question but do you think the centaurs SAd umbridge in ootp? It kinda feels like it’s written that way and it’s pretty disturbing tbh

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

the spoiler alert is that i don't - i think the series' approach to sexual violence leaves a great deal to be desired, but i don't think this is one of those cases - but obviously this discussion does come with a trigger warning for rape and is under the cut.

i know where this interpretation comes from - since a huge amount of the classical greek mythology surrounding centaurs is based in the idea that they rape human women - and i also know that the series' general view that any violence which happens to someone who "deserves" it is fine means that readers consider it plausible that jkr would have thought it acceptable for umbridge to be subjected to such a "punishment"...

and the text certainly can be read as showing the aftermath of a sexual assault:

All six of them looked around. Professor Umbridge was lying in a bed opposite them, gazing up at the ceiling. Dumbledore had strode alone into the forest to rescue her from the centaurs. How he had done it - how he had emerged from the trees supporting Professor Umbridge without so much as a scratch on him - nobody knew, and Umbridge was certainly not telling. Since she had returned to the castle she had not, as far as any of them knew, uttered a single word. Nobody really knew what was wrong with her either. Her usually neat mousy hair was very untidy and there were bits of twig and leaf in it, but otherwise she seemed to be quite unscathed. “Madam Pomfrey says she’s just in shock,” whispered Hermione. “Sulking, more like,” said Ginny. “Yeah, she shows signs of life if you do this,” said Ron, and with his tongue he made soft clip-clopping noises. Umbridge sat bolt upright, looking wildly around. “Anything wrong, Professor?” called Madam Pomfrey, poking her head around her office door. “No... no...” said Umbridge, sinking back into her pillows, “no, I must have been dreaming...” Hermione and Ginny muffled their laughter in the bedclothes.

but i think its actual intention is for us to take ginny's reading of the situation as the correct one.

the series likes to punish its bad characters for their bad deeds with a punishment connected to their defining flaw. lockhart - the epitome of grasping narcissism - is felled when he believes that he'll be able to perfectly cast a memory charm, too convinced of his own brilliance to notice that ron's wand is broken and the spell will backfire. fudge - a coward who's obsessed with his own public image - is forced from office when his year-long burying his head in the sand is revealed and the public turn on him. marietta edgecombe - a traitor, and a character jkr is on the record as loathing - is punished for wanting to remove the risk of negative attention falling on her and her family by having her crimes, quite literally, written on her face.

bellatrix is taken out by her arrogance, wormtail is taken out by his moral insubstantiality, and - of course - voldemort is taken out by his attempts to outrun both love and death.

what the series hates about umbridge is that she is the encapsulation of bureaucratic bigotry - she's someone who is obsessed with maintaining control and order by subjecting everything in her life to elaborate rules, she values the rigidity of social convention, and she is completely intolerant of anything which contradicts this rule-system. her ruthless discrimination against "half-breeds" is because she wants to confine things she fears or doesn't understand into rigid boxes - she doesn't want to risk discovering that a colleague she likes is a werewolf, because that would undermine the belief system she upholds, and so she removes that threat to herself by passing legislation which prevents werewolves from working alongside her.

her punishment for these crimes - in the series' world-view - must therefore directly relate to her prejudices, and - specifically - to her prejudices being wrong. it wouldn't do for her to be raped by creatures she considers subhuman, because this would justify her belief that centaurs [and werewolves, mermaids, goblins etc.] are savage beasts who will violate wizarding norms at every opportunity, and who, therefore, need to be subjected to violent wizarding control.

it makes more sense to suppose that she is subjected to something she would find it impossible to deny was "civilised" - i imagine, for example, that centaurs have their own legal system, and that she is dragged off to stand before the assembled community and have something which she can meaningfully recognise as a trial - and that her shock and disorientation is because her conviction that she'd be brutally attacked by a group she considers incapable of restraining or governing themselves did not turn out to be true.

and she is also, i think, supposed to be read as affected by the fact that dumbledore - whose authority she has been trying to eradicate from the school - is the person who rescues her, and who achieves through his commitment to [ostensibly] respecting centaur autonomy, far more authority over them than the ministry does.

her humiliation, then, comes - in the text's eyes - from the fact that her hypocrisy has been utterly exposed. and so ginny is right to say that she's "sulking" as a way of trying to save face.

[aotopmha]

I'm around level 82 Endwalker MSQ and I know that some really hate the Garlean section of the story, but I really like it.

Above all I really like the nuance in it all.

Firstly, I think they spell out the intentions of the expedition really well – the goal is to help the regular people who are suffering, but not excuse the system they live under.

Secondly, they spell out the really important detail that a bunch of the characters do not support the Ilsebard contingent.

As an example, not all of your job mentors might show up, as was my case with the RDM mentor because of his history with Garlemald, adding important nuance in terms of varying perspectives regards to helping Garlemald.

Reading some takes you'd think everyone agrees that Garlemald is all okay and cool now, but this is not the nuance/subtext I see in the text itself myself.

This was also not the sole objective of the expedition. The towers needed to go for the world to not end.

So it isn't just randomly barging in there to self-righteously "help" another nation. Everyone needed to be on the same page at least somewhat to survive.

Thirdly, I think they gave Gaius and his group enough nuance back in ARR (and Regula in HW) and we had enough decent and more complex good/less villainous Garlean characters across the game (Cid, Nero, Lucia, Maxima) for me to not feel like asking to see them as people was rushed or too late.

The key to me is that even the Garleans who were villains had defined, substantial perspectives and sometimes had non-villainous aspects to them.

The humanity itself was always there.

Fourthly, I see people say it is a thematic mess, but I don't see any of that, either.

The entire zone is full of nuanced perspectives on how fascism can hurt people and not once are we told to push everything the empire did under the rug – if nothing else the horrors of the system are only emphasised.

I agree with the system itself being the central enemy, which to me has been the entire thematic point of Garlemald from the start.

Licinia and her sister, the ceruleum workers from other provinces, Jullus and Quintus all represent very important aspects of how the empire's principles and its own self-made "faith" affected the people of Garlemald and to see it reduced to "oh some of them are just sad now", I think really misses the point considering the foundation of some of their stories.

Genuinely believing you're right, making nationalism almost a core of your identity and being distrusting of your enemy due to far-reaching propaganda are very real struggles under systems like this.

Finally, I've seen people say we are done with Garlemald now and it's so rushed because of this and I'm just not sure about that because to me that has never been the identity of this game.

It's really rare something is dropped and never brought up again, so I always disagree with almost any claims like this.

This is why I think Sky Pirates and Four Lords will also eventually have larger significance.

(And so will the 6.x series.)

I still feel the framing is very much "there is a long way to go here."

Doma and Ala Mhigo both had restoration arcs in various content and are still in progress, really, as the 6.0 role quests, literal "restoration" content and also patch content itself (4.1-4.3, 5.4-5.5 in particular for Ala Mhigo and Doma) attest.

I think we will still see more of the aftermath of Garlemald's collapse in the yet occupied provinces as I still think we will have to open up the huge cloud in the middle of the map in some form, I even think there still would be room for a Garlemald expansion, it just wouldn't be "as" urgent anymore and mixed with other stuff because the empire is an husk now.

As much as Bozja might seem like it was dropped suddenly because of the field notes, I do not think it is like this story to not address important aspects like this until we are unquestionably, completely done.

I know there are some reveals in the role quests and material in 6.x quests that people are also iffy about, but to me most of that seems pretty okay, too.

Garlemald has to reestablish proper trade connections, they have to fight the remainder of their old guard and they can never be complete victims. They also need an entirely new governmental system.

It's the old guard that holds them back, but also crumbles when threatened.

So I think where we are now narratively, we still need more time with Garlemald and I think we are not quite done with them yet and if there is something I personally would dislike from here on out, it *would* be getting no follow-up at all.

I think we need to actually visit Dalmasca, Corvos and Nagxia in some form and put a final end to all of those regimes.

Now, do I think more could've been done here?

Absolutely. As I said, we have whole occupied provinces we have still not seen and a whole massive cloud right in the middle of the map still uncovered.

(And I think revisiting Ala Mhigo's and Doma's struggles against specifically Garlemald in some form also needs to happen.)

So as much as I really liked the zone, it is still clear to me there might have been more done there (in fact it was confirmed because we know about a potential Garlemald expansion).

So I actually do share a criticism I see around, I just think what we got still turned out to be really good and really important nuance to go into regarding Garlemald.

Something about asking to somewhat empathise with an enemy faction just destroys any nuanced discussion on the internet, be it the heroes doing something bad (for good or bad reasons) or villains doing something good (despite having really awful views otherwise).

You see an enemy faction just even dip toes into nuance and the story automatically must be excusing them.

You see the heroes not be completely, unconditionally respectful and thoughtful and the story must be disrespectful itself.

It's such a boring way to discuss art (which is also made by people, who are flawed like anyone else) in my eyes.

[ewingstan]

What do I do with this.

I'm not gonna claim that the text is endorsing this or anything. It did construct a situation where leaving someone on an empty world was the best choice with Monokeros, and we can analyze what that writing choice means, but I don't see this conversation being something we're meant to nod our heads along to. I can't see someone writing "we're gonna disappear people on this list" and "its fine if you're especially violent vigilantes we'll put you in our especially-violent-vigilante support network" and not mean for it to be read as awful. Otherwise it would use words that sound less bad on the face of it. Maybe I'll hear that WB has spent the last few years arguing on reddit that this was actually totally moral and cool but with the text in front of me, with the language used, I cannot see a reading where any of this is meant to be seen as okay.

But more to the point I don't see how we got here? Worm did an amazing job of making every choice Taylor made believable and understandable in the context of what choices she's already made and how she's been changed by her experiences. I do not understand what has prompted Victoria to suggest this and every other member of breakthrough (and every major hero team) to go along with it. I can see why its accepted on a systemic level, its not too different from the birdcage and most of the villains sent there were given sham trials at most anyway. But literally no one on the team is pushing back on this. Two members of breakthrough were just in prison—three, if you count Damsel. Its not clear that she's even given up on the top-tier villain persona even if she's not making moves to pursue it, why is she going along with this. Several of them have done things that at least approach getting put on a list like that. You're living in a world where Riley and Valkyrie and Legend are load-bearing pillars that people rely on, and suddenly disappearing powerful capes that are currently a problem is the only option we can think of? Is the whole "the city is the place of renewed chances" thing really being abandoned so thoroughly?

Kenzie had just told Swansong how much it hurt for her to go to prison, how much it felt like breaking a promise to not leave her alone even though they kept in contact. They were just having a conversation about how much Chris meant to them, how much his deal is a result of horrific circumstances that its the group's original goal to try to work through constructively and come out a better person with. Chris would almost have to be on a list like this, right? Apparent shadow-leader of a cape dictatorship? Sveta would've been on a list like that as Garotte, if it wasn't apparent how much she hated what she was doing. Sveta had spent the last chapter yelling at Carol for her views on criminal rights. Why is there such a huge disconnect here that the text isn't seemingly doing anything with.

Its not even that I can't see a version of this beat working for the story. The track just hasn't been laid for it. The prison break story set up "hey there's a lot of really dangerous capes and knowing where they are can let people try to break them out" thing well, but that does not automatically translate to "everyone will be on board for Secret Prison Colonies" given all the strong character and thematic reasons for the opposite reaction. Why isn't this the result of a more gradual slide or a series of moral compromises? Why is this something that's being described in jump cuts?

[96percentdone]

Every time my old post expressing bafflement at 'anti player theory' undertale and deltarune fans gets a note, I go through the war again. Maybe some of them are normal, but like every post from these people that I have ever seen is never content to just have a strictly in universe read of the text. They gotta assert that believing a video game has meta elements spits in the face of craft and storytelling, and no video game could ever draw attention to it being a video game as part of it's thematic identity. They have to debunk the concept of metafiction just to be right, which is hilarious because they end up overwriting the thematic craft they claim to be the only real supporters of.

Undertale is about war, and violence, and hate and how we respond to it. Most monsters don't really want to fight, half of them are just hanging out, so they're happy to be friends if you are, but the memory of the war between monsters and humans lingers. Whether they don't entirely understand the war's true essence because of their purehearted natures make them antithetical to it (Papyrus, Monster Kid), or use the narrative around it as a prop for their personal goals and are forced to contend themselves (Alphys, Mettaton), or try to teach its horrors with its methods (Toriel), or are convinced that the only way to escape the shadow of the war is to win it (Undyne) even if they don't really want to wage war at all (Asgore), the history of that war informs it all. Flowey is who he is because that violence ravaged Asriel, a small child, SO hard his grief and anger are now everyone's problems. He cannot feel love because the cycle of violence stole his ability to believe in it. Every genocide boss only fights you to stop you from carrying out your own. They know that if the entire underground is so easily destroyed, there is no reason humanity wouldn't face the same fate, and this cycle must end, even if they are powerless. The ending is determined by whether you perpetuate war. The genocide run is a grueling, unfulfilling, deliberately difficult challenge as punishment for enacting war for nebulous gain, while pacifist ending brings about the best future, where everyone including Asriel is saved, and it is the most fun to play, because is one where you commit to kindness and understanding. They both are in service to the thesis statement that "love and compassion are good and the key to rectifying all wrongs."

Hbomberguy and NezumiVA have made videos on the same lines, but Undertale's meta because it's about how we engage with video games as a medium. It's about completionism. It asks whether mining a story for every possible scrap of information is worthwhile. Chara's true name is literally a derivative of player character, you are meant to name them after yourself, and project onto them and Frisk until the game seperates them from you because you are a real human being, not a character in a video game. You only learn Frisk's name by the end of pacifist, the best possible ending that you should be satisfied with as a means of separating your ties, and you only meet Chara when you go way the fuck out of your way to get the worst possible ending because of vague hints that there is one. Undertale uses the vibe and aesthetic of old turn-based rpgs to draw you in, get you comfortable, only to use it's characters to ask why are you doing any of this? Is this why you like stories? Are video games merely arrangements of lore to be logged into a wiki until you run out of data to sort, or did you like Undertale and other video games because its characters and ideas resonated with you emotionally? The text has a lot of compassion for Alphys and her fan hobbies, and it only criticizes her when she treats the real world as a self insert fanfic, and it's meta thesis for you is similar. It's fine and good that you love your favorite games, but what are you getting out of engaging with the medium in this way? "Don't you have anything better to do?"

But Deltarune is where they really start to lose me. It is not finished, things could change with later installments, but from what little we have, it follows up on Undertale's commentary about the cycle of violence, and brings it back to suburbia. Violence here is interpersonal abuse and neglect. It is adults caught up in the myriad problems of adult life they do not notice, or fail to support, or do not care about the children suffering under those same systems. Kris is a child who lives in the shadow of their older brother. They befriend Susie, who eats garbage and doesn't seem to have parents (or at least not any that give a shit), and they have a childhood bond with Noelle, who has lost her sister, her father is in the hospital, and her mother is absent and otherwise not great. Even Berdley has a whole complex about needing to be smart thanks to his upbringing. Kris opens this portal themself, literally escaping into a fantasy land where they, children, are the most important and powerful, unbeholden to adults and their baggage. They get to be agents, not subjects, and yet the dark world still has those same anxieties. Lancer is afraid of his father, Queen is an overbearing mother, Rouxls is an opportunist most concerned with himself, King struggles in vain to liberate himself from being a subject while forcing his subjects to adhere to his agenda, Spamton wants to escape his chains and is the incarnation of a spambot, Seam gives up, and Jevil escapes into his imagination. Kris can abuse Noelle into the snowgrave route, and Susie and Berdley are bullies because kids are just as capable of hurting one another as adults are. Darkners may say shit about not wanting to fight anyway, and Ralsei might regurgitate Undertale's lesson as truth like it's his full time job, but even he re-evaluates by the end of chapter one. In the real world things cannot be as simple they were in Undertale.

Agency obviously relates back to the meta, as Kris' is literally overwritten by the red soul you are asked to give your own name in a dialogue that once again separates you from your fictional vessel, a player character, then goes even harder when they slam dunk that little guy you made into the trash because "No one can choose who they are in this world." You can't either. You can get Kris to abuse Noelle into killing people, carry out the abuses that made these kids desperate to escape in the first place, even if they don't want that, but understanding the player solely as a force that strips agency, much like understanding Undertale's player as a comment on real world morality, is incomplete.

If Undertale critiques completionism and datamining as a valuable ways to understand art, then Deltarune reuses its cast and critiques is thesis as part of a its meta to showcase the it's real value. It is a story that even in universe is about fiction. The dark world and its inhabitants are palatable reflections of Hometown. Kris and Susie keep going back because it is freeing, and allows them to grapple with the their complicated feelings about their world. They can come out more confident in themselves, with a healthier mindset, or Berdley can fucking die! Violence in the dark world comes back out of it because the dark world is a mirror. Video games aren't real, you don't actually kill monsters or darkners, but war is real, and violence is real, and abuse is real, aren't they? Isn't that why you get sad when characters you like die? How often do we use analogies and metaphors to explain our feelings, or complicated ideas? Fiction is just a tool to understand the world. What are the stories you love saying to you?

If the meta doesn't compel you, it's not what you find value in, or how you interpret the text, I don't care, even if I think it's strange. What you get out of these games belongs to you, and you deserve to have your reading as much as I or any meta proponent does. But anyone making claims about what fiction must be, just to deny the a meta angle is possible? That's anti-intellectual bullshit. It denies metafiction exists as a tool altogether. It shits on not just Undertale and Deltarune, or meta video games, but stories written across every medium that have ever used their work to comment on itself, its genre, its medium, or art as a whole. If you denigrate a whole artistic convention and the work of countless artists just to validate your hot take? You don't deserve any respect.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

We're Back To UCMH!

I have been waiting for this book for literal months, and I am SO HAPPY that it is finally here. I'd have read it in one day, except that I got 1 hour of sleep in two days, so I did actually crash before getting to finish Halle and Henry's story. It was worth it though, because watching the dynamics between a neurodivergent-coded love interest and a demi-coded love interest was absolutely fascinating. I had so much fun with Halle and Henry, and it was nice to have Nate, Stassi, Russ, and Aurora around a little too. Like, the "adopted by a gang of hockey-playing golden retrievers" vibe that I loved from Icebreaker was still here, but we also get how Henry and Halle navigate a deeply gregarious group that loves them. Let's talk Daydream.

Hey, so this is your SPOILER WARNING because I'm going to SPOIL THE HECK out of this book. You were warned, proceed with caution.

Soooooooo...the fact that Henry DIDN'T take a swing at Will because he was so worried about how Halle would feel about a) what her dickhead ex-boyfriend said and b) about Henry's response just makes Henry the bigger man in so many ways, and that was just deeply satisfying to me as a reader. That and Halle letting her mom HAVE it because her mom has been using Halle as a third parent in the household since Halle was a kid. Hannah Grace has a knack for making character arc climaxes immensely satisfying and avoiding cliches, and I really appreciate that. I also loved how Halle and Henry both get climaxes that work WITH their character arcs. Halle learns to say no and prioritize herself, and Henry gets to BE himself and be loved and supported in his needs.

So I'm not neurodivergent, and I'm not always good at seeing it in books and book characters where it's not explicitly stated in the narrative, so I was grateful for the letter that my copy had about how there was explicitly NOT going to be a diagnosis. I will say I'd probably have caught it in Henry's case from the text and the context, but I appreciate the clarity and I also appreciate the opportunity taken to highlight that nobody needs a diagnosis to be valid or to explain their experiences and needs. Just the matter-of-fact acceptance Henry gets and the patience people in his life have to let Henry explain what he needs and then GIVING THAT TO HIM with no questions asked was lovely. I also love that it wasn't always perfect. People made mistakes in good faith when they were trying to help, and there cannot be enough good said about modeling communication, accepting new information, and doing better the next time.

Listening to and believing people when they tell you about their needs and experiences should not be groundbreaking, but holy crap do people still struggle with this, so I love that Henry never had to. He is surrounded by people who listen, hear, and support.

Which is extra nice narratively because Halle is not. Her dickhead ex-boyfriend is ten kinds of jerk, her family basically uses her as a stage manager/extra parent, and she was honestly super isolated and lonely before she got pulled into the house full of hockey playing golden retrievers (seriously, that wonderful lost keychain in a frat house tumblr post about how wonderful "boys will be boys" can be as a vibe when it isn't toxic absolutely applies here). I was never a Halle, but I have KNOWN Halles, and I cannot tell you how lovely it was to watch her learn how not to people please and to find herself in a girl squad that genuinely loved and valued her in addition to having Henry around. It was lovely and happy.

I also (and please feel free to correct me on this) read Halle as demisexual coded, and that's a dynamic that I'm not used to seeing in romance novels, but it was also one that I really enjoyed. It's never bad to reiterate that pressuring someone to do something they're not ready for or don't want to in bed is SUPER BAD, ACTUALLY, and that that behavior includes bullshit like trying to enforce arbitrary timelines or calling someone cold for not wanting sex. Also, asexual spectrum identities are entirely valid, and deserve more representation in romance.

Overall though, the thing that made this book for me was Halle and Henry's communication. They're really good at the communication thing and they're really good at BEING together, which does not mean sex, it means that they are good at existing in the same space while being aware and accommodating of each other's preferences, needs, and boundaries. AND THEY HAVE FRIEND SQUADS FOR SUPPORT. Because it is normal and healthy (and often hilarious) to have multiple sources of support in addition to your partner. I adore that Henry and Halle have that, and the side characters (both new ones and ones we know from other books) are still wonderful.

Other things I adored in this book in no particular order:

Henry being a fine arts major. That was such a fun alternative side to an MMC after Nate and Russ were SO sports-focused. Henry having that extra dimension was great.

Halle being a writer. This is very much a "ooh, it me!" moment, so your mileage may vary, but I do love me a writer character. (Yes, this is why I still have a deeply soft spot in my heart for Rick Castle. No, nobody asked. You just know this now.)

Henry being so worried about Halle being sick that he takes her home to his mother who is a literal doctor. Henry was correct, Halle needed to take care of herself, and honestly, this was the sweetest thing.

Halle getting to have her girl squad preparatory periods. As someone who also used to adore getting ready for stuff with her girl squad, there is something really wonderful about this dynamic, and it was a treat to see Halle get to experience it.

The sex painting. I was not expecting to do anything but roll my eyes at this scene, but actually? It was well handled, it was cute, it made sense in the context of their characters, and y'know what? Sure. The book not self-cringing at this also helped, and I was willing to let these two adorable college kids have their fun and make some art together.

Henry's gift giving. I am a Halle, I am SO BAD at gifting, but I appreciate the skill in others. And Henry NAILED it. A+, no notes.

Halle admitting to Gianna that she wasn't sorry she and Will broke up. That was big for Halle personally, and hot damn did it model something important to her little sister. Just excellent.

I had a delightful time with this book overall, and I'll be sad to leave Maple Hills. If we are lucky, there will be more Hannah Grace books in the future though!

[horizon-verizon]

Daemyra stans on Twitter are so misogynistic, illiterate, and racists. They missed the entire point of Rhaenyra’s story. It’s scary how they refuse to admit that people have several loves in their lives. I hope they never met a remarried widow/widower irl.

*EDITED POST* (10/8/23)

Please refer to this post to get a more in-depth answer.

A)

It's pretty clear that in both the show and the original story these two would have preferred to marry each other from the beginning. I am not totally sure if book!Daemon would have actually pursued, developed a relationship, or "looked" at Laena while married to Rhaenyra like I suspect he did "when developed a romance/had sex with/pursued/"looked" at Rhaenyra when she arrived at Driftmark and visited during the duration of her friendship with Laena.

Repeating myself, which is most likely? IF Rhaenyra was not okay with an open marriage nor in love with/attracted to Laena herself: Book!Daemyra marry from the jump and Daemon has a relationship with Laena or acting on the attraction I think he'd still have & pursuing a relationship with her? Or Daemon and Laena being married & later Rhaenyra shows up and he pursues/looks/develops a relationship with her while married to Laena?

I do not think he stopped loving or caring for Rhaenyra in their unique way after he married Laena. However, in the original story it is more than obvious he loved & cared for Laena.

B)

Here's the thing, I was/am a Daemyra Stan before and after HotD existed and I love their story. I read them as intentionally the OTP of the narrative. But I also don't really get how book!Daemon was seen as uncaring didn't love or wasn't at least emotionally as well as physically attracted to Laena in the beginning and came to lover her more beyond that.

I as a reader/audience/consumer of stories do prefer soulmate and one-true-love stories over many other types of love stories, but it's not enough for me to measure a person or character's worthiness based on how many people they've been with. And in real life, it's just a fact that people fall in love (and I still don't know what that's supposed to mean myself, what "love" is) more than once in their lives. Doesn't seem fair to be so repressive and deny the possibility for DaemonxLaena to have more respect, affection, or care in a TV adaptation, which is what some do. The show we do have barely delivered and made it seem that Daemon cares but is much more distant than even what the original text shows.

So I don't begrudge people for saying show!Daemon should have been genuinely in love with or loved and cared for Laena, even while also in love with Rhaenyra. One, the text supports that possibility, and two, love could be different without being less or "more" or "less" as in quantity, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Outside of narrative, yes I do think it's possible for a person to want to be with one person more than another person, and the original story gives enough for us to believe that there was real love and caring between Laena & Daemon. In canon, they marry they married in 115. In 116 A.C., he took it upon himself to write a letter to Viserys un-flashingly (as is his way) to get him and his family to stay at Driftmark so their daughters could grow up in one of their ancestral homes. Before that, they lived together touring several Essosi cities before settling in Pentos so Laena could birth the dragon twins 116. Only a few months pass before they move to Driftmark so the girls can grow up there. So they had been married for a year or so, alone, for a year. At some point in 117, Rhaenyra becomes friends with Laena. Laena died in 120 A.C., so Laena-Daemon-Rhaenyra was a unit of some kind longer than Daemon and Laena were but Daemon was obviously still sleeping with Laena for her to be pregnant and die of her labors in 120 A.C. The man also grieved heavily after she died.

Meanwhile, he spent a few months with Rhaenyra after he came back from the Stepstones in 111 A.C. and before his next exile. Still, Rhaenyra admired him familially/platonically before Mysaria's exit and for years. I do not think he ignored her or did not spend some time with her before he went to the Stepstones, and he was not responsive to that, even if not to the same degree. There was a bond made there that facilitated/informed their later bonding after he returned and began to court/"court" her.

This is what I think DaemonxLaena's pre-marriage relationship was like and why he chose her/she chose him in the first place.

I don't think he loved her exactly like how he loved Rhaenyra nor that they immediately built a relationship like the one he does with Rhaenyra, but these women are two different people and the circumstances of their getting together are very different. And I am not sure if Laena thought of him as her great love so much as her partner because it likely wasn't that type of relationship, as: the text centers Daemyra more; we do not get a clue as to Laena's feelings for Daemon as much as we have considerations for how he felt for her besides her wanting to marry him (and not likely not wanting to marry a freeloading poor Braavosi boy-man); and the text emphasizes how much Laena loved dragon-riding and her bonding with Vhagar at 12 over any romantic feelings for Daemon while they were married. Her relationship & feelings of love (of any kind) for Rhaenyra also seem evidently stronger than her feelings for Daemon to me during the actual marriage. (But IDK, bc we don't have actual details!)

Is this because Laena had a smaller role to play in the story and did not do any political act besides marry Daemon have his kids and betroth her kids to Rhaenyra's and therefore there was less attention paid to her and her feelings for Daemon? Is this because those who could have brought more insight for us were at the Essosi cities the couple spent more time in than in Driftmark? Or is this because she just actually didn't express affection with Daemon in their time at Driftmark? IDK.

Conclusion(?)

It's also safe to say that he really did love/care about Laena when we know how he treated Rhea Royce. But, I can see how Daemon would love Rhaenyra more...intensely, I guess? There's a je-nais-se-quois to it.

Because it is without a doubt true that he spent with Rhaenyra not very long after Laena's death if he hadn't already been doing so before she died. Pretty sure that post-death sex was for intimacy and to "consummate" something interrupted and thus longed for.

Like I said in an earlier post, it's better to say that book!Rhaenyra was Daemon's first, enduring, and most intense(?) love. It's hard to impossible to quantify the unquantifiable.

NOTE

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