#but I don’t blame people bc who knows what will happen
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This is amazing!
First, I’m gonna say something as a sapphic: people respect gay couples in media way more than they respect sapphic couples. And I put it on male privileges. We see tv shows about gay men, and they aren’t cancelled after first season or something, we see straight cis women loving gay men and treating them in a sisterhood that they don’t show to sapphic women. Which is something that I, personally, won’t ever understand. Take Mirabel Garlick as an example. She’s the only canonical lesbian in HP universe and there are people writing about her with male characters 😭 she’s a teacher on the game and the game does run away from canon in lot of ways, I believe JK had nothing to do with it or little bc we also have Sirona, a trans woman who’s a badass and kind and pretty af, but instead of writing a lot about the two of them, they also wrote about Mirabel with men. Also, some straight and cis people have something against pretty and kind, sweet women being gay.
The second thing is that the Harry Potter girls, except some of them, were written as the typical heteronormative girl. The only one who could kinda run from this heteronormative thing was Tonks (to this day I still wonder how tf that woman wrote Tonks, bc Tonks could turn herself into anyone of any gender) and even she fell into the “let me loose my personality for a guy” which is a fucking shame. All of the other girls are written in a very heteronormative thing since day one. I’m saying this as a reader bc there isn’t a single relationship in HP that we haven’t seen somewhere between het cis girls and het cis boys. Ginny and Harry are the “fell for my brother’s best friend”, Hermione and Ron are the “slow burn from besties to lovers…after the girl cried her eyes out bc of him” and even the “marauders era” couples are like that.
Third thing is about the writing. I think this is mostly because they don’t use their imagination enough to write f/f. I mean, this fandom created a LOT of HCs. A lot. To a point that sometimes we don’t even know what is canon and what they created. I mean, there are people out there that shipp characters that couldn’t possibly have interacted. They had imagination enough to create a whole thing that wouldn’t ever happen, even more so bc of the age and context, but cannot create things that are quite possible. The most famous shipp in the fandom is probably wolfstar, which I also won’t ever get bc Sirius was said to be an womanizer and he did some nasty stuff to Lupin, which could have caused him to be expelled and imprisoned. The HCs also changed Sirius personality in a way that he looks almost like a saint. So I would also blame the writing on those HCs that are more focused on changing the men we already know than creating things we don’t know. The only good HC I ever saw was about Dorcas and Marlene. And the HC that Regulus was gay, bi or pan seems kinda fascinating to me. I liked it a lot. Not that I don’t like HCs, I do have my share of shipps that almost no one talks about (like Phineas Nigellus and Matilda, Tonks and Chiara, Tonks and Charlie, Pomona and Poppy…there is more) but anyway, the HCs of this fandom are mostly centered on men. And that also comes with erasing women. The other day I had to read that Tonks was only written to bust wolfstar…as if the queen of anti lgbt people would ever make them canon in the books. She only made one gay character and she didn’t even wrote this in the books, she had to say it on a interview or something 😭 that woman hates us, she was never going to make something for our community.
About the sapphic shipps…some of them scare the shit out of me! Most are with Hermione, a shame she isn’t bi or something btw, but the shipps are fucking crazy. Most of the f/f fics I see about her are with Bellatrix…Bellatrix, the crazy one who probably would’ve handed Hermione to Greyback and who tortured the shit out of her. Bellatrix, who was so obsessed with a man that she killed her own niece after he said something about ��cleaning her blood and family” and who also tortured two people to insanity bc she wanted to know where said man was. I have nothing against reading things about Bellatrix being a lesbian or bi or pan but even if she decided to date a woman, it wouldn't ever be Hermione bc Bellatrix is literally the most racist and radical of all of her family members. The only way someone can read those fics are when they change the whole personality of everyone involved. And this is also the point that get us to the HCs. If you have to change the whole thing to achieve what you want, it's more of an original work than a fanfiction based on something.
Now let’s talk about Lily. We know how Lily was pretty awesome, had power and all, but when we think of it, there’s no mention of female friends or something. We know she knew the female members of the order and all, but there’s also a sense of “my friends are my boyfriend and his mates” with it. Not saying that she couldn’t be friends with them, but it’s strange that a girl doesn’t have other female friends. And also…everything kinda happens bc of her, she should have more spotlight. She was the reason Harry was born, the reason he survived. And Harry is the protagonist. She was the reason Snape turned into a spy. She defied Voldemort two or three times and she was the “Hermione” of marauders era. And we know almost nothing about her when we compare to what we know about James Potter.
Tonks is always a bother to me because she’s my favorite character, a pretty cool girl who was one of the youngest aurors out there. She was smart, funny and a lot of other things, but she got turned into a “let me drop everything, including my self respect, for this guy” and that got into my nerves.
Another thing I disliked is that almost all mother are “stay at home” mothers and wives. I think Andromeda wasn’t, she was said to be a very very good healer, so she was probably something more, but all the others are like that. I know Molly had a whole army of children, but I would’ve loved to see her more in action bc that woman was powerful. The ones I don’t recall having children are the teachers…which also passes the vibe of “she decided to follow a career so she cannot have children”. Minerva had two romantic interests, one of them was her husband, and she didn’t have children. Not saying that not having children or being a stay at home mom is a problem, but considering we don’t see much of moms working out of their house in HP, I’d say that it passes the image of the thing all women probably heard some day about having to choose between one or another and that we cannot have both.
Do you think that the fact that most Harry Potter fanfics have gay couples as pairings (to the detriment of straight or lesbian couples) is because people have difficulty writing f/f characters as strong and m/f as equals or is this due to underrepresentation? of women in books?
This is an interesting question, especially because it’s not limited to the Harry Potter fandom; it’s actually quite widespread in all fandoms, particularly those where there are either very few female characters, or where the female characters play much more secondary roles than the male ones. I think nowadays, with the (slow, but ongoing) effort being made to foster representation, these sorts of things might go more unnoticed. But in series or franchises from fifteen or twenty years ago (we’re talking early 2000s here, no need to go all the way back to the '80s), it was pretty common for m/m pairings to prevail over the canon het couples and, of course, far above f/f couples, which are basically the ugly ducklings of most fandoms—and this isn’t just a coincidence.
The Harry Potter case is especially interesting to me because it’s a series written by a woman where, in fact, there are quite a few female characters, and one of the most important in the whole series (Hermione) is a girl. She’s not only the most significant female character but is also the only one truly developed, with depth and a gradual evolution throughout the books. The rest of the women are either unimportant secondary characters, villains, or merely “placeholder” girlfriends for Harry who only becomes relevant in the last two books (and yes, I’m talking about Ginny, who I find unbearable. J.K. Rowling’s forced attempt to keep Harry in the Weasley family shoves us with this girl who’s meant nothing throughout the story and is then given this “pick me” girl personality—please don’t count me among the other girls—which not only has aged terribly, but I already found it repulsive back then).
I’m bringing up Hermione because it’s not just that she’s the most important girl in the story; she’s also the token character who is constantly paired with every male character in the saga, including men who are twenty years her senior and are her professors, father figures, or fathers of her schoolmates. And this is really interesting because it’s not that Hermione “matches” with everyone or could remain in character if paired with Sirius or Snape; it’s simply that Hermione is the only genuinely complex, three-dimensional female character in the entire series. So, if people choose to create non-canon pairings between canon characters, she’s the easiest choice because she’s got substance and a basis to build on. The rest of the female characters are mere shadows or are relegated to the role of villains or mothers. And if we talk about the younger female characters, it’s a real hair-puller.
Sure, Rowling doesn’t give recurring characters much emphasis in general, but for every ten things you know about a male character, you only know one about their female equivalent. If you know little about Dean Thomas, you know even less about Parvati Patil, just as an example. And all those secondary characters with a bit more screen time ultimately end up being someone’s girlfriend or wife. For example, Fleur, who is also the only one who doesn’t make much of a mark during the Triwizard Tournament (what a coincidence—the three guys stand out, and she doesn’t). We then only see her as Bill’s girlfriend and eventual wife. And the other semi-relevant female characters despise her for being beautiful, only accepting her when she proves she’s a devoted, loyal woman to her husband, no matter what happens to him, even if he’s scarred or turns into a werewolf. This vision of a beautiful, confident woman as merely a sexualized figure (as initially presented) or a threat to other women (as happens later), who can only prove her worth as a woman who conforms to “proper” standards by renouncing her feminine essence to become a wife, is typical of a misogynistic, male gaze often found in fiction. It’s quite striking here because it’s a woman writing the story, yet she still falls into the same old tropes.
Then there’s Tonks, shown as an Auror, an independent woman with her own job, who’s “cool” because she’s “not like other girls” with her colorful hair and Metamorphmagus powers. But all that gets overshadowed when she suddenly becomes a simp for Lupin, who, on top of it all, abandons her after she becomes pregnant, yet she forgives him because love conquers all. Excuse me? This is the female representation you get in the series. Because the rest are mothers: Lily is a saint who sacrifices her life for her son, Molly Weasley is basically a tradwife, and Narcissa Malfoy is only worthy of some respect when she risks everything for Draco. Again, we know much more about their husbands than we do about them; we know more about the men in their lives than we do about them. Their husbands have deeper backstories, richer histories.
Take Lily, for example. We know nothing about her. The little we do know comes from Snape’s memories, and it’s tiny compared to everything we know about James throughout the series. We know so much about James that we can debate endlessly about whether he was truly a good guy or a jerk, and this despite the fact that both are dead at the start of the story and Lily’s relationship with Harry is supposedly more central to the plot. Yet James is more fleshed out! James had friends, friends who talk about him, who tell his son about their youthful adventures. James was someone outside of being a father and husband; Lily wasn’t. Lily is Petunia’s sister, Harry’s mother, Snape’s lost love/friend, and James’ crush and future wife—period. That’s it. Did Lily not have friends of her own? Didn’t she hang out with other girls in her year? Didn’t she have relationships beyond Severus? Why is there not a single friend of Lily’s in the entire saga who can tell Harry what his mother was like? We have not one, but two friends of James, a traitor, and an enemy. But for Lily? Nothing. Only Snape, whose relationship with Lily isn’t even revealed until the final book.
All the Weasleys, except Ginny, are boys. We know things about all or most of the Weasleys, and they have significant moments in the story despite being secondary characters. There are no recurring female counterparts who show up as consistently. Harry’s female classmates don’t interest him, or only come up when Hermione criticizes them. Generally speaking, the female characters have a lot of shortcomings compared to the male characters at any level of the story.
All this to say, while you could argue there’s female representation in the story, is there really? The only girl from the Marauder’s era is Lily. Mary McDonald is mentioned, but we know nothing about her. The rest of the female characters in that fandom are invented—names that pop up randomly in the books with no physical description, no substance, no relevance to the plot. They’re practically OCs thrown into fanfics because all that exists is Lily and the name of some supposed friend of hers who we never hear from again. There’s very little material to work with. And even though Harry’s generation has more girls, they aren’t significant enough for people to be interested in them because there are more boys, and the boys are much better developed. So, people either dive into slash or create OCs because there isn’t much else to hold onto. And if we talk about the reasons behind the lack of f/f pairings, it boils down to the same thing: if it’s hard enough with het couples because, aside from Hermione, Ginny, or Luna, it’s hard to find anything to work with among the female characters, imagine trying with two women.
Of course, I also think it’s largely because there’s zero LGBTQ representation in these stories, but back then, LGBTQ representation was practically non-existent in all children’s/young adult fiction. Although, seeing where J.K. Rowling stands on these issues now, I doubt she’d have done much differently in that regard today.
What I’m saying is that I’ve seen time and time again that when a fandom has well-developed female characters who actually matter, people do work with them. Take “A Song of Ice and Fire,” for example: we’re talking about a story with a ton of male characters, but every single female character has a point of view, a backstory, and a way of seeing the world. You get to know each of them, even the less important ones. If you dive into that fandom, you’ll see all kinds of het pairings and plenty of f/f pairings too. And this is a medieval fantasy saga with plenty of misogyny, but the reality is that it has a very powerful and diverse cast, full of women, each of whom is her own person with a story, ambitions, and a journey—and that gives you something to work with, which is not the case with Harry Potter. But it’s not exclusive to that saga; if you look at fandoms like Naruto, which hit their peak around the same time, it’s the same thing. Ultimately, the common thread I see (besides the fact that we live in a patriarchal society that usually ignores women in fiction, even when it’s by female authors) across all these fandoms where m/m dominates over any other pairing is precisely the lack of female characters or, if there are enough, the fact that their development ranges from minimal to nonexistent.
#harry potter critical#harry potter women#harry potter fandom#marauders fandom#marauders era#marauders#hermione granger#harry potter#lily evans#lily potter#nymphadora tonks#andromeda black#andromeda tonks#bellatrix black#bellatrix lestrange#molly prewett#molly weasley#minerva mcgonogall
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People are panic buying like crazy at Costco rn
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"Uhhh violence never the answer it's childish to start fights" it's also childish to refuse any and all criticism and expect everyone around you to bend over backwards to accommodate your every fucking whim and never do the same in return. If YOU make YOURSELF impossible to have a mature conversation with, people are going to stop trying.
#also again her and grandma's negligence resulted in my dad getting mauled by HER dog but we don’t get to be mad about that? fuck off#your dog is going to be euthanized. this will happen again with the wrong fucking person and they will press charges and your dog will die.#and I know for a FACT if either of our dogs had done anything even close to what hers did she would have flipped her shit#and now because she can't handle the bare minimum responsibilities of a dog owner our dogs are traumatized.#dad got hurt trying to separate her dog from Ghost(our aussie) bc he has no socialization skills and wouldn't leave Ghost tf alone#and then a day after THAT Ghost attacked Elphie (our corgi) bit her head and flipped her on her back. drew blood.#so because my aunt refuses to train her fucking dog now Ghost is triggered by the dog he has lived with his entire life#and has never EVER had issues with her! he has some excitability issues but he has NEVER been aggressive and has always deffered to Elphie#she's always been the one in charge. he's playful and friendly and has never instigated anything all 3 years of his life prior to this.#I am so fucking mad dog training is not just for the owner's convenience it's so your animal and other animals/people can be SAFE#they have a 2 year old and an 8 year old in that house a dog like this is a hazard. And to be clear I am not blaming the animal.#he is being neglected. they refuse to train him so they obviously can't manage his behavior so he just gets locked in his crate#which sucks for any animal but especially a year and a half old puppy who wants to play so he just sits in there and barks for fucking HOURS#it just sucks! I'm mad! He's a sweet dog but he has no self regulation skills so he's way too reactive! hes gonna bite one of the kids or a#stranger or another dog and then he won't have any chance to improve because he will be euthanized.
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muslims will act violently homophobic in a country that values gay rights and then act shocked when it reflects badly on their community
#non muslims pls don’t interract but i’m sooo mad i just need to rant#also prefacing this by saying obvs muslims are not to blame for racism and islamophobia in europe these things would still exist without#all the controversy but omggg#so this group of lgbt muslims planned an iftar for other queer muslims and they had to cancel it bc of the threats they received#and now ofc all the politicians are going on abt how they cannot accept intolerance and this behaviour is unacceptable in a society that#preaches equal rights for queer people#and like… was that not to be expected??? the very muslims who do shit like this will be the first to scream islamophobia but are you making#ANY effort#this meeting was not for you it does not affect you you don’t even have to think abt it but what makes you think sending threats of#physical violence during the holy month of RAMADAN is smth you should be doing#there is nothing surprising abt the far right (who don’t even support queer rights themselves) to jump on this opportunity to make sure#everyone knows that look!! those muslims refuse to adopt our good belgian values#and yk they’d find smth anyway but let’s avoid adding fuel to their fire by giving them real actual reasons to be concerned#and on the one hand it does feel like victim blaming bc marginalised groups shouldn’t be held responsible for the hatred targeted at them#and it’s not muslims’ fault but i’m just so tired like they really can’t help themselves#something so deeply wrong with muslims who make hating queer people their number one priority like… i don’t think you understand what your#beloved faith stands for#it’s just such a shame to have to start ramadan with this kind of discourse everywhere#exactly 0% of this is surprising i could’ve predicted this would happen exactly but it’s just so tiring on all accounts#you want to live your religion in piece without being targeted for it? what makes you think attacking other ppl wanting the very same thing#is a logical response? use your brain and spend some time doing dhikr instead of spreading hate on the internet what is wrong with you
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whenever I see people say Matty was her twin flame 😒
#everytime I see people say this I’m like please this is not a romance book this is real life#even as an avid romance reader I’m sure soulmate is just a term made up by people so they can convince themselves they were meant to be#just actively work on your relationship okay we don’t need to throw around terminology#and I get when you’re really in love you’re going to think that sure#but as people who aren’t in the relationship read a romance book#and I think romance as a genre is looked down on by others and that’s why Amelia and Andrew are like blowing up#just my opinion and honestly a little off topic#antyways when you are in a relationship you need two people to make an effort#it’s crazy cause like within the smallest man she talks about her and mattys relationship dynamic and it sounds awful#what do you mean once your queen had come you treat her like an also ran and that’s your twin flame#I mean sure if you hate yourself#she built matty up so freaking much that by the time she got to the relationship she was so disappointed and their relationship is sad asf#so much shit happened she didn’t leave him and then he left her#people blaming matty leaving on the fans is just another for dick riders and matty fans to absolve him/men of shit#and that is exactly why Matty is the way he is#I mean did you hear her in the smallest man she literally says you crashed my party in your rental car#he knows he doesn’t have to clean shit up bc someone is always going to clean things up for him#and that’s exactly why he is the way he is#enablers the entire lot of you
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my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do
#if my dad had any brain cells or observational skills whatsoever#he’d realize that in terms of our faith the problem is not the boyfriend. that guy is brilliant and open minded and would probably ace RCIA#the problem is my sister. who is catholic in name but it’s clear to me how hard she’s fallen away from the faith#but like my dad has created such a bitter home environment we never have meaningful conversations with him#so like he doesn’t know *anything* about our inner lives#all he sees is labels. all he judges people by is labels#literally you can still get married in the church to a non catholic it’s just a matter of expecting them to convert eventually#and promising to still live according to the principles of the church and raising your children as such#but my parents are absolute fools if they think that’s the issue. if my sister was true in her faith her bf would have converted already#i am sure of it. the guy is smart he just needs to be guided the right way#evidently my parents don’t realize that about him either#if my dad could become a decent parent for once and stop trying to drive his kids away from the faith by only cherrypicking the parts of it#that intersected with republican/conservative boomerisms#ugh. if he was a virtuous father she’d be a virtuous daughter and therefore all her friends and loved ones would be virtuous as well#should i blame my dad for all our family problems? no.. not rightfully……#but like. the impact a father has on one’s life cannot be understated#ugh i’ve had the sense for a while that God wants me to be the one to fix this family#because looking around it doesn’t look like anyone else is gonna do it#but that’s such a daunting task… especially alone… i don’t have any true friends (ie who share both my faith and life experiences)#and like. it’s really hard to try to assume the role of a teacher or counselor when someone is older than you#or uh. in a position of direct power over you for that matter. esp when clearly deeply mentally ill#the concept of trying to essentially parent my own parent while i myself am miserable and unstable#esp when he is the primary cause of that#just. ughhhhh it’s such a vicious circle#like i’ll do this if i have to i’ll undertake that daunting mission but i have to be so careful and really sort myself out first#or for that matter if i were to volunteer to like. catechize my sister’s boyfriend (heaven knows she couldn’t do it)#i’d have to really study my stuff bc i think the intellect is the only real appeal here#like i said tho his conversion can probably never really happen as long as my sister remains the way she is#what i know is that the first step is fixing myself. i have to be a pillar of virtue if i wanna stand as any sort of authority on the faith#problem is i suck and shouldn’t be regarded as a role model for anything. i have the knowledge down but that alone won’t fix me
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we're all bound to break. (chapter 2)
alexia putellas masterlist: here requests: here
based on this request: R tells alexia about her parents but makes alexia promise not to tell the team. alexia agrees of r agrees to speak to the team psychologist/ try and improve her eating and general health. either the team find out through social media or listening to r in an interview getting mad/ upset about a question about her parents. r blames alexia for telling people bc she hasn’t told anyone else. alexia comforts her + happy ending
word count: 2,123k
summary: you tell the team about your mami and papa, alexia helps you through it, an interviewer asks a tough question, and you're paid a visit from someone who is less than friendly.
genre: angst/comfort warnings: disordered eating, mentions of vomiting, death of parents, swearing, grief, struggling alone, eating while recovering from an ed, possibly very bad spanish (sorry! i try lol).
chapter 1: here chapter 3: here
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9ebcc90ce6fec1d56c3a830b277d39be/260d4398e8e527aa-ec/s540x810/6a773acd99b8189086b6eb25457f46d7e2586f91.jpg)
a/n: hey! ive had a lot of requests for chapter two of this story, its taken me a while because i didn't really get any requests and i was struggling for ideas, so it has taken a month, but the long awaited second chapter is here! i didn't really follow the request too closely, but I think it turned out alright, hope you do too. requests are always open. <3 :D
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“Superestrella, we need to talk. There’s something wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is.”
You froze. You assumed there were still tear tracks down your cheeks, your eyes still bloodshot, and clearly, Alexia knew something was wrong. But she didn’t seem to know what.
“I- uh- what? There’s nothing wrong. Just… tired is all.” You try to explain, stuttering out an awful and clearly fake excuse. “You look tired too, maybe you should go to bed and we can talk later?”
“No,” Alexia states firmly, sitting down on your bed next to you. “Chica it smells like sick in here, have you thrown up?” she asks skeptically, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Well not really, I think I just ate something bad earlier, it was only a little bit-” You attempt to lie again, but she cuts you off.
“Stop bullshitting me amor, just tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it,” she says. That’s the thing, Alexia’s a problem solver, a bit like a man, just wanting to fix everything for everyone so we can all be happy with no problems, but she couldn't fix this. Mami is dead. Papi is dead. They are gone. You can’t undo death, no matter how hard you try.
After nearly 20 minutes of back and forth, “There’s something wrong.” “No, there’s not, I’m fine,” Alexia pulls out the big guns, completely oblivious and unaware of how big they are now.
“Superestrella, if you don’t tell me, I’ll have to call your parents and you’ll have to talk to them. Please, just tell me, I only want to help. I hate seeing you so introverted and quiet all the time, I miss your laugh, guapa.”
And with that, the guns are fired, and the dam is broken. You burst into another round of tears, burying yourself into Alexia’s side, head on her chest. Between sobs, you manage to get out the words,
“You can’t help! No one can help! It’s all ruined!”
before falling asleep from the effort of crying and earlier, denial. Now, Alexia is seriously worried.
Alexia lets you sleep on her for a moment before carefully manoeuvring you to lie down and slipping out of your room. Once in the lounge area, she sits down on the edge of the couch, resting her elbows on her knees, face in her hands. Her thinking position, because she was thinking pretty fucking hard right now. What on Earth had happened? What had gone wrong to make her happy, giggly, pestering Superestrella, so- so…. Broken?
Finally, she decides to call Mapi, she knows that Mapi was out late celebrating last night too, and is probably also dealing with a killer hangover, similar to Alexia’s currently, but she deems this important enough to warrant a call.
The phone rings three times before a very croaky-voiced, tired, and generally-recovering-from-being-completely-plastered sounding, María León is heard;
“What Alexia?”
“Mapi, sorry, I know now probably isn’t the best time, but… it’s Y/N, she-”
Before Alexia can even get a word of an explanation in, a now far more awake and alert sounding defender is cutting her off, clearly very worried, “Chica? What about her? Is she- is she okay? What’s wrong?”
That morning, it was organised that at training in a few days, Lucy, Keira, Alexia, Mapi and Ingrid would sit you down after training, and you would talk.
It’s been a couple of days since the Champions League final, most members of the team are still on the winning high, while others are starting to settle a bit, but today is the first training back since the big game. You go about training as normal, struggling your way through it with next to no will to live and an empty stomach, but when you’re in the locker room, Alexia taps you on the shoulder. You two haven't spoken much since the other morning after her night of celebrations.
“Hey, a few of us just want to have a quick meeting with you before we go today, sí?” she says, her tone softer, more gentle, than usual.
You nod awkwardly and finish changing before heading to the meeting room Alexia had told you to meet at, only to find 5 of your teammates sat there, watching you like you’re a Porcelain doll that could shatter at any second, and that was slightly true.
“Um, hola Todas?” (Hello everyone.) you say with slight suspicion, eyeing them one by one as you slowly sit down in a chair at the long glass table. There’s a collective murmur of “Hello”s in various languages before it goes quiet again. Alexia speaks up first;
“Superestrella, we’ve all noticed something is wrong, and we just want to help. Truly, that’s all we want. You are usually all sunshine and rainbows, but recently you have been walking around like you have rocks in your pockets and a storm cloud over your head. Por favor niña, déjanos entrar. (Please girl, let us in.)” she says in a slightly pleading tone, the other women are all looking at you sympathetically.
“I- nothing is wrong. I’m just… uh… tired! I am tired. We have been training a lot recently so I haven’t been feeling the best recently! That’s it. Si. Estoy cansada. (I’m tired.)” you reply quickly, desperate to get out of here and back into bed so you can continue wallowing your sadness and grief, alone.
They all give you soft, yet slightly unimpressed, looks of ‘Come on. We all know that’s not it.’
“Chica-” Mapi starts, but she’s cut off by Lucy’s thick accent,
“Y/N please, let us in. You know we would never judge you or anything like that, we just want to help, as Alexia said. Teammates are here to support you off the pitch just as much as on it.”
“Yeah, what Lucy said. We love you like a little sister, Y/N, and we’re worried about you.” Keira adds.
A collective nod and hum of agreement spread through the room. You sigh. It was getting harder and harder to pretend.
“I- ugh. Okay. Fine. There is something wrong.” You finally relent, the lump already forming in your throat, the familiar glass returning to your eyes. The 5 women around you perk up a bit, glad you’re starting to open up, even if it’s only a little.
“What is Cari? (Cariño- sweetheart.)” Ingrid speaks up for the first time, her accent thick as always.
“It’s… it’s my parents.” They frown. They knew how close you were with your parents, especially your papa, so what could be wrong that has to do with them? You close your eyes and take a deep breath, tears falling silently down your cheeks, you’d gotten good at crying quietly, preparing to voice the words aloud for the first time. To make it all real.
“They- they’re- they- died. Dead. Gone.” you open your eyes to find 5 women staring at you in horror, eyes wide, mouths open, and sympathetic looks from them all. But it was Alexia’s face that made the tears fall, she was the only one who knew how you really felt, who truly understood. It was her arms that you felt around you first, she didn’t say anything, she just held you for a while.
After a few moments, you spoke up again, your voice a little more steady this time.
“It was 2 weeks before the Champions League final. I got the call from the police back in (your hometown), they- they were driving home from our match, there- there was a drunk driver. The driver hit them at nearly full speed, they- they didn’t survive the impact.”
The horror on the women’s faces only grows, Alexia’s grip on you only tightens.
It’s a good few minutes before anyone says anything else, and the one to speak up this time is Lucy.
“Oh god Y/N, that- that’s awful. Why on Earth didn’t you tell us? We would’ve helped you, supported you-” her tone, growing slightly frustrated and upset, is cut off by a firm pat on the thigh by Keira, telling her to cool it a bit, the defender going quiet.
“I- I didn’t tell you because…. Because I didn’t want you to pity me, to treat me differently, and you guys already worry about me enough, so I didn’t want to add to it right before the final. And also… I just- I just couldn’t say it out loud. Not then. It was too soon…”
That conversation or “meeting” as it’s now referred to, went on for a long time, feelings were discussed, tears fell, hands trembled, and eventually, you and Alexia were left to go home, and you felt a whole lot lighter… possibly because it had been 3 days since your last meal, or possibly because you had finally confessed your secret.
When you arrived back at the apartment, Olga was anxiously waiting there for the two of you. During the meeting, the subject of your eating had come up, you had confessed to skipping meals and intentionally not eating, and agreed to try harder to fuel your body the way an athlete should. Clearly, Alexia had shot Olga a text or something before we arrived, as there was a bowl of your favourite sitting, waiting on the table. Eli’s (Alexia’s Mami.) homemade paella and blue Powerade. Gently, Alexia sat you down at the seat in front of it and sat next to you, she put the spoon in your hand and made you eat a few bites, and then she just slipped into conversation with you, a random conversation, about school and friends and the new set pieces, etc. And before you knew it, you had been so distracted that you had eaten the whole bowl without even thinking about it. It felt… good, being full that is. Alexia smiled softly when she saw your small smile and took your plate up to the sink, before sending you off for a bath and a nap with a kiss on the forehead.
A couple of days after the whole ordeal, you were asked to do an interview. Where you would be talking about the Champions League final, what it was like to score both the goals for Barca, one in the last few minutes too, how you celebrated afterwards as you were not allowed in the changing rooms, but worst of all, a question you weren’t expecting, weren’t ready for,
“So Y/N, everyone is very familiar with your papa, your biggest fan, often seen wearing your jersey and waving his flag, but he was not spotted at the final, we were just wondering, is he okay, or just sitting somewhere else?” The interviewer asks with an unknowing and innocent smile.
You have to swallow the lump in your throat before you can respond, you manage to keep the smile on your face, and voice steady (barely).
“Oh, yeah, no. He, um- Unfortunately he wasn’t able to make it.” You say with a curt nod and ever so slightly pursed lips, the interviewer getting the hint not to pry any further on the question.
That night, you were curled up on the couch, laying across is, your head in Alexia’s lap, crying… again. You hadn’t been prepared for that question. It had scared you, Alexia understood, she knew how hard it was to talk about it (from personal experience), especially if you aren’t aware the subject will be brought up. Alexia whispers soothing Spanish words, her nails scratching your scalp calmingly, when there’s a knock at the door.
Alexia frowned and looked at the clock, it was 7pm, not usual visitor time, no one was meant to be coming around, Olga was out of town with friends… who was it? She carefully moves your head from her lap and kisses your forehead before going to answer the door, as she walks over, you prop yourself up on your elbows a bit to see who it is.
The midfielder opened the door to find a woman standing there, she was young-ish, probably younger than Alexia, mid-twenties maybe, but rather… uptight looking. At first, you couldn’t see who it was, the woman and Ale exchanged a few words before Alexia stepped aside, you and the woman now having a clear view of each other…
Your expression changed quickly, features hardening, eyes narrowing, jaw clenching. You practically jumped off the couch in anger, stomping up to the woman, and standing very close to her. With a cold look and tone, you spoke to her;
“What the fuck do you want to take from me now, tía (aunt)?” you spat the last word like it tastes fowl in your mouth…
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a/n: i hope you enjoyed it! if you are wanting a third chapter, please don't just say "chapter 3 pls" or something like that, please give me actual ideas or requests in my inbox. kind critisms is always welcome too. thank you for reading! 😊💖
tag list: @multifandomlesbianic
#alexia putellas#lucy bronze#mapi leon#barcelona femeni#woso x reader#keira walsh#ingrid engen#olga rios#woso#woso communtiy#obvithebestsoph
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1a63544582682342cd53e37d36daa741/43d7512226ae5101-26/s540x810/ea0902861ed8df4b5932f22ab5f178a481956fe1.jpg)
okay i have THOUGHTS about this line
he didn’t have to say that to make his plan work. i mean yeah, being nice to the player definitely earns their favor and future assistance, but he could have just as easily gone the route of gaslighting them into feeling bad and like they caused the problem, eliciting a more shame-based and desperate and less uplifting and righteous kind of reliance. like if volo really hated the player, and was truly cruel, that’s what he would have done. the player would have still gotten the chain and felt indebted to him for the plate hunt, but they also would be miserable and feel lonely and hurt and confused. but volo doesn’t do that, he grounds the player and validates their feelings, which were hurt by the cruel townspeople more than the event volo caused to prompt that cruelty. like truly, it’s only volo’s fault that the player gets banished through the most like simple calculated logic—yes, if he hadn’t caused the rift, they wouldn’t have been banished, or brought here at all. but kamado CHOSE to banish them based on his own paranoia and disdain for outsiders, and the others enabled it by choice. volo didn’t make that happen, just how he didn’t make or even want arceus to get the player involved in the first place.
i don’t think volo hates the player, personally, at all. or at least, i think that he hates them and cares for them just as much as he hates and cares for himself. i know this isn’t groundbreaking volo theorizing material, but he’s absolutely projecting his disdain for society based on his vague past experiences here. he dislikes the outsider because his plan demands it, but he dislikes everyone else because he personally thinks they’re terrible. it’s kinda neat how he “fake” compliments the player’s loyalty to him as a merchant so often, bc i think loyalty is something he actually takes very seriously. and he probably saw how loyal the player was to the galaxy team, and then the way they kicked them out, and was genuinely pissed and hurt on the player’s behalf.
the things he says at the end of the game are said in extreme distress and defeat, and while they are not NOT reflective of his character and motives, i’m shocked by how many pokemon fans regard volo like he’s a nihilistic and amoral sociopath. passion and compassion are behind nearly everything volo does, for better or for worse. they’re behind moments like this, and moments like his ranting at spear pillar. he is a person who constantly grapples to align his personal moral code and lofty ideals, which live in this weird space between the manmade and divine, with the flawed reality of existence. his entire mentality is full of contradictions, because he is a man who thinks he should be god, but in reality could never be a good god, because he is still very much a man. it’s the emotion, idealism, and intellectual curiosity of humanity that drive him, not the impartiality, absolutism, and complacency of an omnipotent all-knowing deity.
so like, with this line. he specifically mentions that the galaxy team has treated the player poorly. not that the galaxy team’s choice was illogical, not that the player just needs to try harder to get them to accept him. he is emphatically rejecting the premise that the player did anything to deserve blame, even though he has no intention to actually explain why this really happened or volunteer himself to take the blame. because ultimately, volo is not the person to blame for the galaxy team’s cruelty, and he knows it. and he also knows that it’s the cruelty that has hurt the player, more than the sky problem itself, because he has been treated like an outsider too. and he can’t DO anything about that. even if he told the truth, the damage has already been done. the player knows how their supposed allies would react in this situation, regardless of the logic or truth. and volo can’t fix that. he does not believe he can make people kinder or the world a better place, which is exactly why he wants so badly to remake it. for himself, bc clearly he’s been through some shit too, for people like the outsider, and for anyone else whose loyalty and dedication have been met with rejection and apathy. which is so deeply tragic and ironic, because by being the only person to care for the player in this moment, he is making the world a better place for them.
volo is, at his core, a hypocrite. he’s like if you put the ingredients for a hero into a blender, but accidentally used the “tragic hypocrite” setting so he came out a janky villain instead. to volo, concepts like loyalty and self-righteousness are driving forces, much moreso than simple black and white morality or consequentialism. this makes him a hypocrite because he believes a perfect world is possible as long as his moral code is strictly followed, and his evil plan is to prove it. but in his efforts to do so, he proves over and over again that a perfect world isn’t possible, and certainly would not be possible under his control.
like, okay—if someone suggested that the means of pain and suffering in the world justified the ends (the world), volo would disagree and claim that arceus is responsible for the pain and suffering, and therefore does not deserve the power to create/rule worlds. but then, following that very same logic, if volo needed to get a random person banished and betrayed in order to create his better world, then those means wouldn’t justify his ends either. which is WHY we see him subconsciously draw a line here, between the things he’s not responsible for (other people being cruel, arceus transporting the player) and the things he is directly responsible for (the way he treats the player in these circumstances, either with derision or support). and wouldn’t you know, in this instance where it truly is up to him what the means are to his ends, he chooses kindness where he could have been cruel. because while arceus sending the hero and the town banishing them weren’t really Volo’s means to Volo’s ends, this conversation sure as hell could be. And he doesn’t want his better world built on a foundation of suffering and pain.
by saying this one line and treating the player as he does here, i think volo accidentally exposes something deeply true and good about himself. this man could say “i’m a villain and i don’t care about the player” and fully believe it, but at the same time demonstrably possess the morals and compassion of a hero, which he uses to actively care for the player. he is a delusional hypocrite, but he’s definitely not heartless. and i just think that’s neat.
alternatively, volo is completely heartless, knows that people are endeared to people who want to protect them, and methodically uses that knowledge here for his convenience. that very well could have been the intention, and it makes sense too—but i personally enjoy entertaining the notion of depth where i see potential for it. so yeah.
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YANDERE DOTTORE X READER JAHEKWHZBAKNA
happy to see most dottore enjoyers sharing the same braincell. even happier to provide that good good dottore content (〃ノωノ) answering two asks in the same post bc it would be too repetitive if i made them separate agshfjns- next post will feature either childe or al haitham (depending on which one i finish first) (giving everyone a break from dottore for a hot sec) ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: yandere dottore (obvs), not quite proofread, dottore is named zandik in the mini-fic includes: gn!reader, dottore, his clones are kinda there, pierro and the tsaritsa are also mentionned. a handful of headcanons + a mini-fic wc: 1,8k
-ˋˏ Despite what most people might think, Dottore isn’t a sadistic man. He only hurts people if it’s necessary- if it helps with his research- and even then, it’s not like he enjoys inflicting pain, he enjoys the knowledge he gathers as a result of such experiments
-ˋˏ ...That doesn't apply with you though. He likes to see you squirm, to do things that make you react, whether positively or negatively. He’s that desperate and needy
-ˋˏ He’s a man that doesn’t go out much because of his work. So how could you blame him for wanting your attention?
-ˋˏ I think he’d be the type of yandere to just be incredibly obsessed with you. Always having someone checking in on you (his segments, of course) to report back to him so he knows what you’re doing at all times, probably the type to have an entire folder with your personal information in it as if you were one of his test subjects
-ˋˏ Not to mention he would be extremely manipulative, too. Dottore is the definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing; a handsome face with dubious intentions.
-ˋˏ He wants to have your attention 24/7, to never have you take your eyes off of him, but he can’t do that if he stays holed up in his lab. Unfortunately for him he's very clingy
-ˋˏ But Dottore is a patient man (he was able to create an artificial God y’know- that kind of thing doesn’t happen overnight), so he takes his time with you- getting to know you, having his segments stalk you (he’s not the one doing it, so it’s fine, right?)
-ˋˏ You’re just like a frog in a pot boiling water. If you put it in the pot immediately, it’ll jump out as soon as it makes contact with the hot water; but if you put it in room temperature water and boil it slowly…
-ˋˏ The Harbinger knows your “relationship” isn’t an experiment, but at the same time it’s hard to say that he isn’t studying you. Having a mask that obscures his wandering eyes is definitely an advantage
-ˋˏ It doesn’t matter who you are, he would bend his schedule just for you. He’s that thoughtful! Since he’s practically his own boss (aside from various deadlines and meetings) he can do whatever he wants. Who’s going to tell him off? Pierro and the Tsaritsa don’t care how he achieves results as long as he gets results. So, expect to “accidentally” run into him more times than a regular person would
-ˋˏ You’re a fatui agent? Suddenly one of his experiments requires him to watch how soldiers (you) fight and train. You’re just a normal civilian? He’ll figure out where you work and find excuses to come see you just to chat
-ˋˏ It’s even better if you work a customer service job. You work at a cute coffee shop? What a coincidence, he loves coffee! Now he’s a regular and you know his order by heart. (I like to think he actually hates coffee but powers through the bitter taste and energetic aftermath just because it gives him an excuse to bond with you)
-ˋˏ You work at a grocery store? That’s perfect, he’ll start doing his groceries at your store from now on (you don’t point out how every week his groceries- without fail- consist of mozzarella sticks, a whole rotisserie chicken, cheap red wine, a pack of cigarettes and a singular loaf of whole wheat bread.)
-ˋˏ If you’re not in the fatui, chances are you don’t know who he is (he doesn’t go out much, after all) so it’s easier for him to play up the “good guy” role (wolf in sheep’s clothing from before nudgenudge). He’s a very smooth talker
-ˋˏ Of course, you’ve heard rumors about “the Doctor”, one of the Tsaritsa’s Harbingers, a feared man all across Teyvat. So it’s a good thing that your new friend’s name is Zandik and he’s just a normal surgeon that works in a private hospital! Nothing suspicious, 'course not
-ˋˏ Both of you engage in small talk whenever you cross paths. He’ll ask questions about you (even though he already knows the answer to them), all so that you can feel seen and heard- who cares about him, about what he does? This is about you. He wants you to tell him everything
-ˋˏ The kind of person to use the excuse that he had a Ph.D. for a lot of things. You whine that your shoulders have been sore for longer than usual? He’ll get up from his seat and get behind you, sliding a hand just under the collar of your shirt to press and prod at your muscles to check if there’s anything wrong (good thing you can’t see his expression from behind you), saying he "knows best" whenever the (your) human body is brought up
-ˋˏ His patience isn’t endless, however. If he sees that this isn’t going anywhere, that you seem to be keeping him at arm’s length despite your “connection”, he’ll just take things into his own hands. And even though he doesn’t really get off from causing pain, he’s not afraid to make you squirm either
It wasn’t unusual for you to grab a bite to eat with the Doctor occasionally. Working at a local coffee shop had its perks; one of them being how you could make drinks for free and eat snacks at a discounted price. Though you never needed to worry about money since your friend would always tip you handsomely, basically paying you for the snacks you brought to the table.
Closing shop was easy enough when you had someone to keep you company while you swept the floor and wiped counters clean. He sat at one of the booths, cup of coffee in hand (you started making it decaf when you noticed his nose scrunch one time when he drank his usual order), watching you work idly.
“Rough day?” you ask with a gentle smile, looking over where Zandik sat. Being quite some distance away from him you couldn’t catch the twitch of the corner of his lips as he sighed, bringing one hand up to rub his face beneath his pointy mask.
“You could say that” he grumbles, laying his arms on the table, holding his cup of coffee with both hands. The man tilts his head to the side, focusing on you rather than his pesky thoughts. You put the broom away and saunter over to his booth, sitting across from him with a plate of various pastries in hand.
“What’s on your mind? Maybe I could give some advice and help! Or you’ll feel better if you just... talk about it,” you chuckle softly, taking a sip of your own drink. Zandik’s gaze never leaves your form, his gaze burning the sight of your lips into his mind.
If he told you even a smidge of what he was thinking you would, without fail, run and never look back. Even the tamest of things he’s thought about you would drive you away. From him fantasizing about how your skin would taste, to how your heart would look like in a jar on his desk when he worked... he shudders, swallowing down the urge to do something impulsive. Zandik takes a slow sip of his coffee, eyes flickering from your lips to your wide, innocent eyes.
“Thank you for offering,” he begins slowly, “but that’s alright. I wouldn’t want you to worry about it,” he says smoothly, losing the tension in his shoulders to seem more approachable. With the first two buttons of his shirt undone, hair lightly tousled, and overcoat thrown over the back of the booth chair, he looked nothing like the deadly Harbinger he was. Looked like an overworked businessman at most.
You puff your cheeks, disappointed that he wouldn’t open up to you. You’ve been doing it this whole time, and yet he won’t talk about what was bothering him to you? It made your heart flutter- he was so considerate- but at the same time you couldn’t shake the idea that maybe he was hiding something. Inhaling slowly, you calm your nerves, deciding that today would be the day you confront him. After all, a good friendship is built on trust, and you can’t stay good friends with someone that hides things from you.
Oh, how naïve you are.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” you say gently, placing one hand on his. The feel of his rough hand beneath yours made you shudder, almost instinctively- are surgeons’ hands supposed to be this rugged?
“I want to be there for you in the same way you’ve been here for me...” you add, voice trailing off as your cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I think you’re nice to be around. Don’t I owe you for the number of times I’ve complained about customers to you?” you say, chuckling lightly at the memory.
Zandik doesn’t react, not at first. His eyes fix your face with an underlying threat, gaze hidden by his mask. Although you can’t see his eyes, a shudder runs up your spine at the feeling of being watched so intently. Where have you felt this before...
“You’re right,” he responds quietly, voice hoarse. “You owe me.”
His words caught you off guard. Owe him? That was a joke! You were trying to lighten his spirits, to take his mind off whatever was troubling him for even just a second. How come you felt your nerves screaming at you to get up?
His free hand covers the hand you had laid on his, the grip on your skin becoming firmer the longer you two sat there. Your heart rammed against your ribcage, ears ringing from the sudden wave of adrenaline washing over you.
“You said you wanted to help me, right?” Zandik says in a sickly-sweet tone, leaning forward to stare at you, gaze unrelenting behind his mask. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you nod dumbly, staring back at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He grins in response.
Did he always have teeth this sharp?
“Then you won’t make my life harder than it already is by resisting, right?” he adds. You could hear how heavy his breathing had become in just a few seconds, how his hands had a death grip on your own. His cup of coffee was long forgotten; how could he possibly focus on something as useless as that when you were giving yourself to him?
The snow pelleted the windows harshly, essentially trapping you inside the coffee shop with him. Even the weather outside couldn’t compare to how cold your blood ran in the face of the Doctor; maybe if you had listened to your gut earlier you wouldn’t currently be skewered in the jaws of the shark that had been circling you for months.
#୧ ‧₊˚orderup!#dottore x reader#dottore x you#genshin x reader#genshin x you#dottore x gn reader#zandik x reader#zandik x you#yandere dottore#yandere dottore x reader#dottore headcanons
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gawd…… ur brain. i love u.
patrick and the self-loathing… art being so insecure so sad… they’re both extra clingy to you that night, need you to make it all better.
and patrick the next day….. you’ve never seen him like that. neither has art. it’s so eerie. especially if like. you also grew up w them. idk. i looove a girl best friend trope. ANYWAYS!!! everything just feels so #off. poor sweetie patrick hates himself kinda, doesn’t know what to do
and if i said this all actually takes a huge emotional toll on you but you don’t say anything bc the two of them are worse off and you need to fix it………. if i said you fix everything for them and are their emotional comfort but end up breaking down yourself in a week because you didn’t talk about how you felt because that’s what you’ve always done with art and patrick……… its not entirely their fault, you just want to take care of them, but it’s been years in the making. years of mediating their spats, comforting them through break ups despite your pining for them, giving so much of yourself to make sure they’re okay and never voicing that you might need something in return. and now you’re navigating this new dynamic where suddenly you have the two people you’ve wanted most since you were fucking 12 years old.
you thought you knew what they needed, you thought you were equipped to handle anything they threw at you. you’d known them for the majority of your lives at this point, so seeing something completely new from patrick is terrifying. it takes days to figure out the root of the problem, days of walking on eggshells trying to get patrick to open up again. art is particularly needy because he’s just as scared as you are when patrick stops responding to your texts and spends more time out doing who knows what. you know he’s punishing himself, but you don’t know how to get him to stop. it takes locking him in a room with you and art to get him to talk, then it takes hours for the three of you to lay it all out. you address patrick’s self blaming and art’s insecurities, but you don’t say anything about how it’s affecting you. you don’t even think it’s affecting you at all - you just feel relieved that your boys have worked their feelings out in the open.
so, when things return to an improved normal, why don’t you feel better? why does it feel like there’s something gnawing in your chest? and— why are they looking at you like that?
“what’s wrong? are you okay?” they both speak at the same time, so you’re not even sure who says what, but suddenly, the two of them are on either side of you on the floor of your room with worry written all over their faces.
“what?” you hear yourself ask the question, but the words feel distant from you. like you’re watching yourself through backward binoculars. it’s then that you feel how wet your face is. you’re crying. you hadn’t even realized. come to think of it, you’re not sure how or when you ended up on the floor either. your tongue feels numb and you can’t stop the tears. you know they’re talking to you but you can’t hear them anymore. it’s like you’re being swallowed whole by a dark cloud.
the next thing you remember is an overwhelming sense of comfort. you’re laying down, pressed between two bodies. you know these bodies. art and patrick. your boys. you blink your eyes open, taking a moment to adjust to the light coming through your window. it hasn’t been that long, then. above you, art and patrick are sitting propped against your headboard and talking in hushed voices. yours cuts through them, though it’s still soft with sleep, “what happened?”
they look down at you and it’s clear how relieved that are that you’re awake. that you’re somewhat okay.
“we’re not sure, baby, but we think you might have had a panic attack.” patrick says, instinctively reaching out to touch you but hesitating, like you’re made of glass he’s afraid he’ll break. you gently take his wrist and bring his hand to your face so you can nuzzle into it. art wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you up so you’re curled up in his lap, patrick closes the gap where your body was between them and pulls your legs over his lap, so you all stay touching.
“this week was really hard on you, wasn’t it?” art asks quietly.
you think for a moment and your lip wobbles, “i just wanted to help you both. i didn’t think i needed anything else.”
“you did help us. so perfectly.” patrick says, his hand still on your face. “we should have seen it was taking a toll on you.”
“no, i should have been able to handle it. i always handle it.” you insist, tears threatening to fall again. you feel art’s arms tighten around your waist.
“you’re right, you always handle it - handle us - but we need to take care of you, too.” art says. “i mean, jesus, we put so much on you this week alone. we should have checked on you. we should have been checking on you for the last ten years.”
“you’re our girl.” patrick smiles, leaning closer to look you in the eye. “just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to do everything by yourself. we’re here for you, too, sweetheart.”
you nod, letting out a choked little sob, and the two of them are on you again, cuddling you, holding you as close as they can. you can hear the steady rhythm of their heartbeats, feel the soft rise and fall of their chests. you remember what art always asks when he’s being held like this and decide to test it for yourself, “i was good?”
the answer is immediate from both of them.
“the fucking best,” from patrick.
“so so good - perfect, baby,” from art.
warmth and love radiate from them through you, so much so that it makes you dizzy. you understand why art asks that question now.
#hehe ilyyyy anon#hurt/comfort my beloved#LOOVVEE childhood bff trope too it’s so good#this started as puppy art but it’s evolved into something else i think#art donaldson x reader#patrick zweig x reader#need this reassurance as a chronic people pleaser tbh
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it is only complex bc abuse is always done with purposeful intent. that is the textbook definition. who accidentally abuses someone? you don’t have to label his emotional incompetence as abuse. cause it’s not. that makes no sense… cause his character isn’t one dimensional. it’s literally just a character flaw, even if it hurts someone’s feelings. just like how jason is a hypocrite and dick practices escapism instead of dealing with his problems. majority of the times when he’s fighting another bat or bird, it’s either mutual or out of his control, so yeah ima give him grace by ignoring highly ooc comic runs. cause no one’s character is consistent, especially if you’re the freaking batman. idk, speaking generally when u literally get to build-a-bruce wayne is mainly just a skill issue, so maybe u just want him to be abusive?
Anon, abuse can absolutely be unintentional. You can unintentionally hurt people like that. Abusers don't always look at the people they abuse and think "I'm hurting and abusing them"- a lot of the time they really aren't aware they're being abusive and even think they're being helpful. I'm not saying some abusers go "whoopsie daisy!" And slip up like how you'd accidentally drop a vase. I'm saying the abuse Bruce puts the batkids through, especially Dick, is something he's doing not knowing he's being abusive or neglectful.
As an abuse victim, yes this is possible. My dad is abusive, but he isn't at all aware of it. Does he still love me to absolute bits? Of course. I don't doubt that he loves and cares for me. Is he still abusive? Absolutely. This is the case for Bruce.
His emotional incompetence is absolutely a character flaw, but how he goes about it with his kids is harmful. Take this example:
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>Robin: Year One #3
This is just after Dick was nearly beaten to death by Two-Face. Bruce is genuinely afraid here, he's blaming himself for what happened to Dick and thinks that firing Dick will keep him safe. But he communicates absolutely none of this to Dick; he just yells at him, fires him, and then gives him the cold shoulder for months. Dick feels like such a failure that he runs away, thinking that Bruce doesn't want him around anymore. And i don't think this is ever really rectified or resolved. Dick becomes Robin again, but Bruce insists that he follow orders like a "good soldier".
And this incident still weighs heavy on Dick years later, thinking of it as his failure, especially since the whole situation was so traumatizing.
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>Robin #0
And this is just one example of Bruce being emotionally incompetent and hurting Dick in the process. There's also the entirety of Batman #416, Batman #408, and NTT #55, all separate incidents where Bruce is unable to communicate and hurts Dick in the process. This is very present throughout their entire relationship, and there's far, far more examples of Bruce's emotional immaturity/incompetence being harmful, not just to Dick, but to the rest of the batkids as well (I believe it's one of the reasons Jason ran off to find his birth mother).
Bruce pretty much never communicates, not even to offer praise. This is something that frequently comes up and is even joked about (Dick being weirded out in Batman: Under the Red Hood when Bruce thanks him), but is a strong point of insecurity for the Robins. In fact, Dick wasn't even sure what Bruce really thought of him, if he thought about Dick at all (Gotham Knights #14). Jason also doesn't believe Bruce loves him, thanks to the sheer differences in communication styles and beliefs (which, honestly, the tragedy of that warrants it's own post), and I believe Damian has stated that, if it made Bruce happy, he'd stop existing (I'm not sure what comic it's from, so take this with a grain of salt). I'm not sure about Tim, honestly, since I haven't read his comics, but I wouldn't be surprised if the pattern continued with him too.
And ALL of this stems from Bruce being emotionally neglectful. A lot of issues in the batclan comes from this, honestly. Neglect is, by definition, abuse, even if it's just emotional neglect. This is often paired with Bruce miscommunicating if not outright being verbally abusive (such as yelling at Dick, as seen above), or even physically abusive (Nightwing #30, NTT #55, and at least half a dozen other instances with Dick alone).
Speaking of, I also don't believe Bruce being physically abusive is actually OOC, mostly because it's a trait that's been present since the Golden Ages, and Bruce is the one who decided beating up criminals was a good alternative to therapy. Bruce in general has a lot of anger issues, and is a pretty violent person. This is nothing new, and if you don't count the Golden Ages as canon, it's been at least present since the 80s. It's been consistent over a long period of time, and because of that, i really don't see Bruce being physically abusive as OOC, except for in certain cases (such as RHATO #25 and Gotham War, both incidents that I don't believe are in character when it comes to Bruce's opinions on Jason killing based on previous comics).
I don't really "want" Bruce to be abusive. I think it'd be better if he wasn't, but at this point, the batkids' characters hinge on him being abusive or at the very least neglectful, otherwise, aspects of their characters don't particularly make sense. Also, all of this is stuff I've picked up on as I slowly get through comics and read more meta posts. I'm not the kind of person who makes things up, and if I'm proven wrong about something, I typically reevaluate my thoughts, step back, and admit that I'm wrong. And so far, I really haven't seen any real evidence towards the "Bruce isn't abusive" column beyond people saying "these comics are out of character"- which is subjective.
Also, I only don't like it when people say that he's not abusive and then list things that are abusive. Mostly because it's genuinely dangerous.
Also also, I'm not saying Bruce is irredeemable or an awful person. He certainly isn't great, but he's absolutely capable of change and he loves his kids to death. There's almost nothing he wouldn't do for them (except kill, obviously, which is honestly something I agree with him on). I think he's stubborn and hot-headed, but once he actually sees the harm he's caused, I think he's fully willing to change, even if it's hard for him. Bruce is far from heartless. He cares a lot! He's just fucked up and has a ton of unresolved trauma that messed up his parenting. I really can't state how much I believe Bruce cares for and loves his family.
Anyways, at the end of the day, I believe Bruce is abusive. Abuse has a lot of nuance to it, and to a lot of people, abuse is always done intentionally and knowing that what they're doing causes harm. But this isn't always the case. Bruce is, imo, a really good depiction of an abuser who genuinely loves his kids and thinks he's doing right by them. And I honestly prefer his character this way; Bruce is WAY more interesting to me if he's fucked up like this.
Sorry this took a minute to answer, I have a lot of thoughts on this topic.
#felix (host)#dc#dc comics#batman#batfamily#batfam#batclan#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#nightwing#red hood#red robin#dc robin#batman and robin#batman meta#to be clear Bruce is one of my favorite characters#if i ever say i hate him I'm not at all being serious lol#Dick Jason and Bruce are my top 3 favs i think
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talking about my neoptolemus/telemachus wip bc idk how to shut the fuck up!!!
SO the dynamic between neoptolemus and telemachus in my wip is essentially that neoptolemus is in love with telemachus from their first meeting, but he’s convinced that telemachus is too good for him and that he destroys everything he touches so he masks that with cruelty and pretends that he hates telemachus. telemachus is at first, drawn to neo and really likes him, but then neo starts being cruel in his attempts to push telemachus away and that gets telemachus to genuinely hate neo. it’s like a one-sided enemies to lovers. neo wants really badly to hate telemachus, but he can’t find it in him to not love this boy who he thinks shines like the sun. telemachus, on the other hand, just hates neo and he blames neo for ruining this friendship that they could have had.
their relationship basically flips back and forth between neo saying some unintentionally soft shit and when telemachus is like “what” neo just immediately says “but you’re also a weak dumbass so. fuck you.” neo is such a girlfailure in this fic he doesn’t know how to handle emotions AT ALL. he’s grown very special to me in the course of writing this fic which is very funny bc prior to starting this fic, i actually did not care for neo in the slightest before i started writing this fic. i only cared abt him as an extension to achilles bc achilles is my fav greek mythology figure ever. THEN AGAINST ALL ODDS, neo charmed me while writing this fic. like these are some tweets from my priv twt where you can see me progress from not caring at all abt neo to seeing him as my little babygirl son
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so yes, i was charmed by my socially awkward son neoptolemus. he’s such a little freak. my favourite headcanon is that maybe in another less angsty fic than the one i’m writing rn, neo wants to flirt with telemachus and bc he’s emotionally inept like his father, he decides the best way to do that is to ask telemachus to spar with him and bc he hates losing, he goes all out and beats telemachus up. it’s like
neo, internally, after punching telemachus in the face: yes, our courtship is progressing magnificently
telemachus, clutching his bloody nose, trying to figure out why neo hates him:
LIKE THEYRE SO FUNNY TO ME!! i love them sm.
but anyways back to the specifics of my fic. they don’t get to be quite as silly in my fic. essentially what happens is that neo hears of odysseus returning to ithaca and decides to visit. there, he meets telemachus and is immediately charmed because he’s such a little loser. telemachus invites neo back to the palace for dinner and neo ends up getting in an argument with odysseus that ends with him going “I WILL TRAIN TELEMACHUS.” and odysseus does not want that to happen so ofc, telemachus says he wants neo to train him.
and the plotline is basically neo and telemachus’ relationship progressing as neo trains telemachus. it’s full of a lot of really sexually charged sparring and angry arguments.
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some of you may be wondering why i refer to neoptolemus as neoptolemus always and not pyrrhus even though pyrrhus is his original name. well in my head, pyrrhus is the name that he’s given at birth by deidamia and neoptolemus is the name he takes up when he goes to war because he feels like he’s become a different person. neo struggling between his two names is actually going to be quite a plot point in this fic
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because this fic is just as much a character study of neoptolemus as it is a ship fic between neo and telemachus. i spend a lot of time exploring his relationship with his parents and also his relationship with odysseus. it’s neo’s desire to piss off odysseus in the first place that gets him to stay in ithaca with telemachus. i really want to spend a lot of time exploring neo as a character bc so often, people write him as just being needlessly cruel, but i feel like it’s important to remember that he was just a kid when he was brought into war. he has this legacy from achilles that he needs to live up to, but he’s never even met achilles and how are you supposed to live up to the legacy of the greatest of the greeks? how would it ever be possible to make someone like achilles proud? neo’s grappling with his self-worth and identity a lot during this fic.
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so far this fic is about 22k words and it’s very special to me. in the vision i’ve created in my head, we’re about 1/4 done but i make no promises because you all know me and how awful i am at sticking to the word counts that i imagine. it could be much shorter, it could be much longer. i don’t make plans. i just sit down in front of my google docs and bleed.
i’ve also been making plans for a little modern au neo/telemachus fic BECAUSEEE i really want to write that little neo and achilles exchange that i mentioned in my last post abt neomachus (teleneo? idk what their ship name is but i like calling them neomachus). my vice is creating wips and never finishing them tho so idk when (or if) i’ll write that modern au.
i guess i’ll end this little infodump off with some fun exchanges between neo and telemachus that i really like in this fic. they’re just so special to me <3
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i will absolutely talk abt this fic more in the future as i continue writing bc im so obsessed with it rn. i will do my best to finish it asap but every time i think more about it, it gets longer.
(ALSO the title of the fic is “someday i know you’ll come to your senses” which comes from the song senses by mico who is, yes, the guy who plays telemachus in epic the musical. what can i say? i like it when things come full circle (it’s also a really fucking good song. everyone stream internet hometown hero by mico))
(none of these excerpts are edited or anything btw. if there are any typos please keep that to yourself or i might die of embarrassment)
edit as of 15/01/25: THIS FIC HAS BEEN POSTED!! you can find it HERE!! :D
#idk how to shut the fuck up srsly#all i do is yap#imeda rambles!!#fic: someday i know you’ll come to your senses#greek mythology#neoptolemus#pyrrhus#telemachus#neomachus#teleneo#neoptolemus/telemachus#odysseus
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hero x villaim but hit them with the "with everybody watching us, our every move, we each have reputation" (NOT A WRITING REQ UNLESS U WANNA DO IT !!!! just a silly thought I'd share bc . theyre so doomed) :3 -🐏
“You’re upset with me.” The villain chose their words carefully. In a situation like this, it wouldn’t be smart to let their emotional side win over.
“I am. I am very upset with you,” the hero said. They still looked terrible from the fight. Scratches and bruises covered their face as if the hero was the night sky and their wounds the stars. Even though the villain knew not to rush into things, they only wished to tend to the hero’s wounds.
“You know I couldn’t let you die.”
“I begged you to save those people instead of me,” the hero argued.
“It sounds horrible but I didn’t care about these people. My decision was made in an instant. I decided to save you, I decided to reach for you without even considering.” The villain wanted to explain it, wanted to make sure the hero understood. It had been an easy decision. It was cruel but it was the truth.
And now, the hero was starting to cry.
“I asked you to save these innocent people. These ten innocent people that had lives and families and jobs. These people who were important, who were someone’s entire world. Ten of them!” they choked out between sobs.
“You will save more people in the future than all of them would have combined,” the villain tried to argue but they knew, deep down they knew, how their weakness of logic and reason got in their way. They couldn’t help but see the world as patterns and effects. With explanations and conclusions weaving around them — a big terrible net of information.
They knew it wasn’t what the hero wanted nor what they needed to hear but the villain couldn’t give them what they deserved, they couldn’t find the comforting words.
They couldn’t even find a solution this time.
“That’s not the point. People aren’t numbers. People aren’t data,” the hero said. By now, tears streamed down their face and the villain wondered if they’d let them brush those tears away for them. Probably not. “I wanted you to save them. I wanted you to do the right thing.”
“The right thing was saving you. I’d do it all over again.”
“I thought you could change.”
“I thought you’d understand.” The hero shook their head and wiped their tears away with a bruised and swollen hand. A mission going south. Partly because the villain had been present. It wasn’t easy to take the blame but the villain supposed this was the least they could do if finding the right words was impossible already.
“People are chess pieces to you. You move them around how you want and you don’t care. You truly don’t care what happens to any of them,” the hero said. The villain could see their red ears and their shaking hands. And in this very moment, the villain saw themselves as the monster that they were, as the horrible human being the hero saw them as.
“I care about you, isn’t that clear enough?” they asked. The villain’s voice was shaking.
The hero took in a deep breath. The villain wanted to hug them. They wished their hero could understand. They wished they’d stop crying.
It hurt that the hero hated them in this moment.
“You’re supposed to care about others, too. You’re — you’re supposed to use your intelligence for the greater good. For other people, for humanity. I thought you understood me.”
“I do,” the villain said. “I do understand you. But in that moment, deciding between you and those people was easy. I’m sorry.”
The hero stared at them, speechless.
“You will always be my priority,” the villain said. “Even if you hate me. Even if you kill me eventually. I won’t put up a fight.”
“Do you like being hated?”
“I like you more than I care about being liked,” the villain said. They weren’t sure if they’d ever see the hero again after this.
“And I loathe you for that. I loathe you for the person that you are.”
They didn’t see each other for a long time after that conversation.
#man idk lab was asss today#hope you still like it 😭#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#heroes and villains#villain#hero#heroxvillain#hero x villain#an answer for an ask#request#angst
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oh boy anon, you’ve activated my trap card. GET READY FOR A SEBASTIAN CHARACTER ANALYSIS ESSAY BELOW LMAO
ok so first off I know im obvs biased, but I don’t actually think my seb is that ooc, AND PUT DOWN YOUR PITCHFORKS IMMA EXPLAIN WHY. but im also gonna explain why I don’t think the other more friendly and lighthearted renditions of seb are ooc either. bc theres so many aspects of seb we get in the game that can be interpreted in so many diff ways, and so this is how i see it/landed on MY rendition of seb:
PROTECTIVENESS/POSSESSIVENESS: this is one of the main aspects of him, imo. his entire questline is about wanting to cure anne, and how he’s not giving up, and how he believes that HE is the only one that can do it, because “she’s MY sister!” seb is super tunnel visioned and has a one-track mind when it comes to this, and I headcanon that he’s this way because of their parents deaths. he’s the brother, the boy, he’s gotta be strong for his sister, and ofc when their parents died, he tries to comfort her and be there for her/be the rock, and it happens again when she’s sick. shes his sister, his responsibility, and he’ll die before he gives up on her and her safety.
SO, I just transfer all those aspects over to a romantic relationship instead. you just replace “shes my sister” with simply, “she’s mine/my gf/my wife/etc.” and in the same way I think seb tries to be strong and reliable and protect anne because he’s the brother, I think seb would be the same way in a relationship, because he’s a boy and she’s a girl and its 1890 and he’s chivalrous and he just sees it as his responsibility. I think the death of his parents and his dynamic with anne has baked this sort of mindset into him, and its even MORE intense in a romantic aspect, because then hormones and puberty and sexual tension and attraction is involved (plus the fact that seb in my fic is 17, so he’s older and has even stronger raging hormones and testosterone LOL.
JEALOUSY: who can forget the lines “between the two of you, I’m starting to feel left out” and “ominis simply needs a moment with you and he’ll change his mind. is that it?” the first one is more playful but I feel like the second one really showcases sebs brand of jealousy, and how biting and uncharitable it can be.
AGGRESSION/VIOLENCE: yet another iconic line with: “fine. but ominis knows, I won’t step back from a fight.” LIKE... the fact that apparently ominis knows this means its come up more than once��and im not saying seb is some unruly aggressor who flies off the handle at anything, but he defs has a capacity and is willing to get violent if HE believes the situation calls for it—basically the same way he feels about the dark arts. he felt justified using imperio to protect anne, and taking the relic to save anne, and so he would have fought ominis to get out of the catacomb. and with MY seb, while he doesn’t go picking fights with any boy who looks or gets close to clora, he’ll definitely be willing to beat up or lay hands on a creep who bothers clora/who is in the process of bothering her LOL.
SO YEAH, that’s pretty much it, and I’ll be the first to admit I definitely ramp up these traits further because he’s older in my fic and i think these traits would only get more intensified with age + being in love and also bc IM A TWILIGHT GIRLIE!!! what can I say. there are so many moments in my fic where you can just replace seb with edward and it wouldn’t seem out of place tbh LMAOO so blame twilight, it was a formative experience for me BAHAHA
BUT like I ALSO said, I don’t think peoples more lighthearted interpretations of seb are ooc either. because even all my earlier above examples, you can just focus on diff aspects of them. like his tunnel vision and obsession to cure anne? instead of seeing it as over the top protective and possessive, you can just view it in a more wholesome determined selfless sort of way. like I said we got so many nice little bits and ingredients of his personality that we can turn into anything we want, really👌just pick which flavour of seb u like best and use what we got in game to create it HAHA
AW TYY QUEEN BAHAHA💖 and aw im always so honoured when ppl tell me they consider my stuff canon that’s like the best compliment I can get, tysm 😭 and im glad you like my fic and art so much (enough for your friends and family to unfortunately know💀 LMAOO)
im adding your ask to this because it kinda ties into my seb essay. LETS GET INTO WHY A SWEET BABY ANGEL WOULD LIKE SOMEONE LIKE SEB. the answer ISSS: the same reason WE’RE also all into him I guess?? BAHHA
ok but to start off im gonna defend my seb, not only cause of what you said anon (i dont want you to feel like this is targeted to you!) but also bc I got an ask recently asking me to summarize seb and clora’s relationship since all they see from my art is that “they fuck and seb is possessive” LMAO, and I feel like ppl who JUST see my art and don’t read my fic have a warped image of my seb.
this may be shocking but I don’t consider my seb a red flag LMAO. I joke about how hes more of a pink flag tbh, but even THAT i dont even really believe, and don’t even consider him overly possessive. like yes he keeps an eye on her when shes hanging around other boys, but I feel like that’s normal (esp for 1890) and all of his most possessive moments have been when theres been a threat to cloras life/coming from a place of love and protection (especially since clora is so self-sacrificial, she’d have killed herself by now if not for seb LOL) so to me id actually put Sebastian as being PROTECTIVE as his first and foremost trait, followed by the possessiveness.
and yeah he gets jealous, but unless a dude is actively trying to get with her/hitting on her/harassing her, he’ll otherwise just kinda be unhappy about it/let it play out/ watch on unhappily LOL. and even when lawley was blackmailing clora and getting in between her and sebs relationship and lying about how close he and clora were, seb demanded answers from CLORA on what was happening between the two of them, but he didn’t touch lawley or tell him to stay away. bc seb thought that was what clora wanted, so he let her drift away. if he was TRULY a red flag, in this instance he would have just beat up lawley for taking what was "his"/not allow clora to leave him/immediately go to lawley instead of clora, and tell him to stay away despite what clora might want. (and clora even WISHED seb had interfered and done this. she was like 'why is he letting me drift away and go off with lawley i WANT him to fight for me...but she couldn't actually say anything thanks to the blackmail)
clora doesn’t just 'put up' with sebs more possessive and protective behaviour though, she actually likes it HAHA. just bc shes a precious baby angel, we all like a bad boy, even back then. just look at jane eyre, and how popular the dark and brooding and assholey mr. rochester was.
she tells seb at one point that she likes those things about him, even his immature competitive side, and his darker sides, and that he shouldn’t try to hide them or change himself because she accepts them. and even putting aside all of the stuff they’ve been through together that has bonded them (like the main canon quests + annes curse and then CLORA being cursed, and then clora being kidnapped and seb saving her) clora thought seb was roguish and charming and witty and intelligent and good looking from day 1. add to the fact that he’s just so devoted to her in everything he does, that even if he CAN get a bit overbearing at times, how could you NOT fall for someone like that😩 someone whose possessive behavior just stems from wanting to protect you and love you and want to keep you safe and cherish you like DAMN…. GET ME A SEB, TOO. WHERES MINE!!!😭😭
clora also realizes in ch 32 WHY seb is so protective of her (the trauma with his parents and wanting to be there for anne) and that she accepts it, and enjoys it, and that she might even MISS it if seb were to ever get less protective of her/might get lonely LOL, and then sebs like "i’ve "spoiled you, have i?"
so YEAH I don’t think sebs protectiveness and possessiveness goes into any toxic territory or red flag territory PERSONALLY (and the time that it DID get toxic was because of the relic, and clora DID put her foot down)
but my normal seb? whose dream in life is to whisk clora away into a tower and lock her up to keep her safe and keep her all to himself, but that he’d never ACTUALLY do because he knows its insane and unreasonable but jokes about wanting to do it anyway bc he would if clora agreed? clora finds that endearing and cute and is touched by how much he loves her and wants to keep her safe.
IN CLOSING: I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER👩❤️💋👨👩❤️💋👨👩❤️💋👨
#LONG ASS SEB ESSAY#this was so therapeutic to write i hope that people who dont read my fic now understand my seb a bit better#like i said i feel like he gets a bad wrap/people think hes super ooc from his canon just based on my art alone#sebastian sallow#i wanted to write this ever since that one ask where they were like what do they do other than bang and be jealous HAHAHA#ANON MY FIC IS 500K WORDS THEY DO A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF TRUST ME#and even when seb is super possessive and protective im still usually on his side LMAOO#like just based on my art you defs might think seb is unreasonable but#for the ppl who actually read my fic they know clora is on like a self sacrifice speedrun LOOL#forget team edward and team jacob its team seb and team clora#and im usually a girl's girl but sorry clora im usually with seb and his logic when it comes to keeping u safe LMAOO#sebastian sallow x oc#ask
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UNIVERSITY RGB HCS BC THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO SHARE THEM ‼️‼️
Disclaimer: this only contains Egon, Ray and Peter as they are the ones who were in uni together (sorry Winston and Janine). Also this is long and self indulgent as hell.
I am NOT taking up the responsibility to say at what exact ages they got into uni, but let’s say that during their first year Peter is 18, Ray is 17 and Egon is 19.
Now, Ray is doing electrical engineering, Peter is doing engineering in hopes that it relates to trains (spoilers: it doesn’t, but he doesn’t find out until after his second year), Egon.. well Egon actually isn’t a student, but rather an instructor. I got this idea from an uncited wiki trivia point, and just ran with it. Maybe he was in uni instead of school bc he’s just that smart, maybe something else, idc really. He’s a physics instructor who is the same age as most of his students.
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Ray and Peter are roommates and while it takes some time, eventually they bond and become best friends. And when I say best friends, I mean it to an almost unhealthy extent. In my head, Peter was always alone. Absent family, constantly moving around the country, unconventional interests, autism - I don’t think he ever really had friends. In the show we see him TRYING to be a charmer, but most of the time people do not buy his act, and I think the same thing happened in uni. He wanted friends, desperately wanted to fit in, but never really managed to. So when suddenly his roommate turned out to be a great guy who genuinely liked his company he immediately grew almost unhealthily attached. We won’t blame him.
Ray, on the other hand is liked by many due to his kind and charming personality, but doesn’t have many close friends, again, due to his unconventional interests and hyper behaviour towards them (ADHD). He isn’t that bothered by it, though. Good for him.
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Now Egon is taking his unique position very seriously. He is no doubt popular at the uni - people have to be curious about this super young, clearly genius and handsome (canon in the show, not my words!) guy who works as an instructor. However, he does not engage in personal conversations, doesn’t seek out human connection or fun activities. He is focused on studying, working, getting experience and progressing in the field. He has many older mentors, but no friends of his age and is perfectly fine with that.
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So, first semester, first year. Both Ray and Peter take Egon’s physics class (though in different sections). Ray and Egon do not interact in class whatsoever, Ray is simply a good student: he studies well and does all his assignments on time (or mostly on time). They have no reason to talk and so do not know each other personally.
Peter, on the other hand, hates physics, finds it extremely boring and useless and makes a loud statement of not studying for it. It upsets Egon, who doesn’t want such morale to spread around his class, so he invites Peter to after-class talks.
This attitude pisses Peter off immensely because the audacity of this guy to tell him what to do and what to study for?? And from that point on Peter makes it his life’s mission to piss Egon off at any chance possible. He doesn’t bully him or set him up in front of people, he just acts like a dick and shows his disrespect in any way he can. Egon doesn’t like him back. This goes on for a while.
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Now, aside from classes and physics, Egon also does parapsychological research on the side, as at the end of the day, that is his main area of interest. One day, as he goes into a lab to work on some experiments, he meets Ray who, very expectedly so, is also doing parapsychological research since that is his biggest interest, too. They bond over it and become lab partners and eventually friends.
I also want to specify that a moment when their relationship transforms from formal to friendly is one silly heist of sneaking into the patron section of the uni’s library at night to borrow a book necessary for their work. Adrenaline and oxcytocin do their job well and they go from “Mr. Spengler” and “Mr. Stantz” to “Egon” and “Ray” 🫶
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⏩️ Fastforward to the second semester. Neither of the guys are taking Egon’s class anymore, but Ray and him are still working together and progressively becoming better pals by widening their conversation topics as well as hangout occasions. Peter still hates Egon’s guts, luckily they don’t have to meet too often. At least until one day.
That day electricity malfunctions in Egon’s room right when he needs to mark his students’ assignments. As usual, he does it late at night when the library is already closed. Ray, as a good friend, offers him a spot in his and Peter’s room to work which Egon accepts, becoming a horrible surprise to the latter. After spending about fifteen minutes trying to get a reaction out of Spengler with no visible result Peter notices just how exhausted the guy is and for the first time it really hits him that surprise!! Egon is human too. He even grows slightly worried, after all, he doesn’t want the dude to pass out in their living room. They don’t begin interacting more after that, but Peter as if slightly cuts back on the teasing. But he still calls him “Spengs” out of disrespect.
⏩️ Fastforward to the second year. Egon and Ray hang out more, forcing Peter and Egon to interact, and good news! They now tolerate each other. And yes, they do go to “Egon” and “Peter” though “Spengs” and “Mr. Venkman” are still present, mostly to show annoyance and displeasure.
At some point in the semester Ray makes a new close friend named Max and that fact makes Peter crash the fuck out. Ray is super excited about this new guy who also studies engineering, loves comic books and horror movies, is super smart and funny. They hang out a lot and study together and whenever Ray comes back to the room he just cannot shut up about how good of a time he had. And Peter (need I remind you, lonely and self-conscious Peter who was always left behind by everyone in his life, including his father) watches, listens, gritting his teeth, until he just can’t anymore. Did I mention he has an unhealthy obsession with Ray?
He goes through a full mental breakdown, and they talk about it and partially resolve the situation (though the one-sided Max beef in Peter’s head continues, it’s hilarious).
⏩️ Christmas break comes and Ray announces that he is going to be leaving to spend it with his family in Bronx, and only here do we see just to what degree both of these people really are dependent on him.
Peter crashes out, yes, again. He’s lonely, he’s bored, his plans are ruined and he has no idea how he is going to survive three weeks alone in the dorm.
Egon takes it more calmly, he’s Egon, after all. He doesn’t complain or act upset, but two things happen. First, his work slows down significantly, and second, with his support system being gone he falls back into the unhealthy habit of overworking himself to a point of total exhaustion (speaking from experience here, it’s really hard to stay consistent with your healthy habits and routines when the person who is usually there to help you with them isn’t around).
To not die of boredom and exhaustion, Peter and Egon organise hangouts, sometimes sitting in the library and trying to get work done, sometimes watching TV or getting lunch together. Their relationship improves significantly during that time, and Ray is very happy to see that upon arrival.
Not much to say from that point on. All three of them become best friends, Peter switches his concentration to psychology, they rent an apartment together and go on with their academic lives. If I had to somehow describe their relationship I’d say they are a qpr. Not in love whatsoever, but still very emotionally intimate, physically affectionate and are the most important people to each other.
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Also they don’t know it yet, but the moment they met each other they met the rest of their lives 🫶
#the real ghostbusters#rgb#ghostbusters#egon spengler#ray stantz#peter venkman#I’ve had these in my head since SUMMER#but yeah just a glimpse of my twisted mind#yay yippie#silly teenage uni rgb are so dear to me you guys have no idea#just living their lives studying havin fun#if any of this doesn’t align with canon or logic - idc#I love it and that’s what matters
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y’all i found it, i found the post that originated the claim that i’m a ZionistTM and it’s even more ridiculous than i expected.
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this is, of course, the same person who labeled me a MisogynistTM for making a half baked joke reblog basically saying “jewish standards of masculinity are different than white western standards of masculinity” then cited orthodox judaism, a community i’m not a part of, as why Actually The Jewish Community Is Horrifically Misogynistic And Bad (as if i haven’t faced misogyny from jewish cis men before???????)
anyway, my post in this screenshot didn’t once mention israel. it didn’t mention zionism. it was talking about antisemitism. i turned off reblogs because people were making it about zionism and israel, which was derailing my original point. i set a specific boundary and people kept crossing it, so i turned reblogs off and blocked people who wouldn’t leave it alone. absolutely nothing about that could possibly indicate that i’m a zionist unless you think that diaspora jews setting boundaries about being forced into a conversation about israel, especially one where we are essentially being blamed for the antisemitism we face because of the government of a country we don’t even live in and have no control over (there’s a phrase that, it’s called dual loyalty and it’s been getting jews killed for decades) or if you think simply talking about the history of antisemitism and current rising levels of antisemitism is somehow “zionist propaganda” in which case you might want to get your head out of your ass and question why you’re agreeing with literal nazis. also bonus points for this person literally just blatantly blaming jews in the tags for the rise in antisemitism because we’re apparently not being antizionist enough to deserve basic human decency and safety! not even trying to hide it anymore huh!
and of course it worked like a charm bc now, months later, you have people saying this:
“the jew is trying to disguise himself as one of you to trick you!!!!!! he is actually evil and trying to manipulate you to further his evil (((zionist))) plans!!!!!!!!!! beware!!!!!!!!!!!” which is literally just repackaged antisemitic tropes that are centuries old. i’ve never interacted with the person in this screenshot in my entire life, and yet they seem to think they have insider knowledge into my Evil Zionist Plans to infiltrate the community and spread Zionist Propaganda because they interacted with one gentile witch that threw a hissy fit about being told not to be antisemitic in discourse about gentiles appropriating lillith. this gentile decided that every single jew who disagreed with them was a zionist, and when i told them it was antisemitic as fuck to call any jew they disagree with a zionist they went on about me being a “raging zionist” and “faking being queer” for DAYS. so it’s not a mystery where the person in this screenshot got the “ooh scary (((zionist))) pretending to be queer and trans to spread his evil (((zionist))) propaganda” rhetoric from. it’s word-for-word from the gentile witch who was pissed about fucking LILLITH DISCOURSE.
bc the thing is, these ppl don’t actually care if i’m a zionist. if they did, they would be engaging with what i’ve said (which is practically nothing because i knew the second the word israel touched my blog that this would happen — which is why i didn’t want people going on and on about israel on a post about antisemitism). they know that labeling a jew a zionist is an immediate death sentence in progressive circles. they know it’s the easiest way to discredit a jew you don’t like. because it doesn’t matter how many times you say “no, i’m not” you will be forever tainted in the eyes of gentiles by that accusation. that’s why they made the accusation in the first place. and so i will continue to not share any of my thoughts or opinions other than “i’m pro palestinian liberation” and “i’m not a zionist” and people will ignore that to play yet another game of Zionist Telephone to target a jew they don’t like. it’s not the first time it’s happened, to me or in general, and it won’t be the last time. i just hope people seeing this and reading this will help people understand how fucked up and antisemitic it is.
so yeah. if you see accusations floating around that i’m a zionist, this is where it came from. a situation that is textbook dual loyalty, being punished for setting boundaries on my own blog, and people who hate trans men jumping at the chance to demonize one with one of the easiest tricks in the book as soon as they see he’s also jewish. the fact i keep having to address this when the origin of the rumor is literally just antisemitism should heavily inform how seriously you take random claims online that a jew is a zionist. most of the time it’s just blatant antisemitism, and very often it’s a way to silence an unrelated conversation that person was trying to have.
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