#but I do wanna get to my goal as fast as possible since I do not wanna think abt what would happen if I ran out of certain materials
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Y'know I was thinking abt how I like to bully alone dupes in oni when they enter the socializing state alone but then I realized... When they're socializing they go to the printing pod. They're talking with their deadbeat mom that's so cute 🥺
#rat rambles#ok ok calling her a deadbeat mom may be a bit harsh but its not completely untrue imo dhdkhd#anyways I didnt make a lot of progress today in my main oni playthrough but I finally got a couple that Ive been kinda avoiding getting#aka ari and joshua because I like to hate on them for no reason#I also got a nails today so yippee#Im almost good to go with jorge I just need to wait out the timer basically#I've actually already gotten some decent food production going so I might try to commit to this colony instead of dipping like I planned#I will be sending quinn back home tho they deserve to see their friends again#in the meantime I got party phones set up in the newer two colonies so everyone can call eachother now :]#Im still not exactly sure how Im going to fit like 20 more dupes but Ill figure smth out#I should be able to fit like 5 or so dupes in the newest colony and if I play my cards right I could shove the rest into the other new one#but for that Id need to seriously upscale my oxygen production there and while I do have infinite water I do not have infinite space#but I do wanna get to my goal as fast as possible since I do not wanna think abt what would happen if I ran out of certain materials#specifically in the second newest colony were their main food source is waterweed#I should be able to manage for a while and worse comes to worse I can cheat but Id rather not have to#I could theoretically switch to mealwood if that happens but again Id rather not have to#oh also some real poggers news I found a single bristle blossom plant on the newest colony#I still need to go dig it out but that means that Ill be able to start progress on getting a more reliable food source since grup fruit#will only last so long without me taming a sulfur guyser and well Im a wuss who doesnt want my lil guys to die#oni posting
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Hello my fella ana-girlies!
Tomorrow is the 1st of August.
Do you all know what that means?
This month will be OUR month!
If you had binges or didn't do well all this time, THIS will be our chance to glow up!
So this is an account that was actually made for personal use, but I thought, why shouldn't I share it with you?
Tomorrow YOU will stop binging!
You will work out!
You will archive your GW!
'But how?' You may ask
I have several tips for you that used to help me back then where I was at my lowest. (I was in forced recovery. That's why I couldn't go any further)
Do not fast. I know fasting is a very popular thing people do, but most of the time, if you haven't eaten in days, it causes binging on whatever you see. I never fasted, and tbh, it was the best decision I've made.
LOTS of fruits! Fruits are a very good substitute for when u crave sweets. Tho, you need to eat them in moderation since some of them can be high in cals!
The personal calorie limit I set is 300 - 500 cals MAX.
Workout. I have a workout that used to help me slim down, and it wasn't that hard even tho I felt dizzy. The workout is linked at the end. Do it as often as you like.
DRINK WATER!!
In the commentsection under this post you can talk about everything and ask for tips and questions! Might also find motivation.
I'll post daily blogs about my day to stay on track! Wanna join, too? Use the hashtag #️⃣ 4n4August and tell us about your day!
Visualise your goals! Everyone has different goals. Wanting to be thin, not get bullied anymore, fit in cute clothes, etc... think about YOUR goal every day, so it's less possible that u give up!
Good luck <3
#4n4august#an0rec1a#ed but not ed sheeran#4norexla#ana advice#light as a feather#ana tip#3ating d1sorder#ed ednotsheeran restriction#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#4nor3xia#@tw edd#tw 3d vent#@na vent#@n@ diary#@n@ buddy#@ana#@na blog#@n@ tips#@na bvtt3rfly#@na buddy#@na meal#@na motivation#@na rules#@na rant#@nor3xia#@nor3×14#@na shit#@na memes
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hi! maybe a little self indulgent but was wondering if you could write a lil drabble of earthrealm gang x yn (fem y/n if possible) but she’s related to shang tsung in some way (idk sister, daughter if u wanna get real silly) and shes just as pretty but just as mean :3c ty!
author note: In some the reader is the sister in others the daughter. Going for hcs for my mental health :)
Do you like what I write? Consider tipping on my ko-fi!
Johnny Cage: -He doesn't completely trust you, even if damn, you are hot. -Like he can't resist flirting with you even if it means getting the harshest rejection ever. -At this point, it is a challenge more than anything else. Once one of your failed potions exploded right into his face while he was blabbering one of his cheesy pickup lines. "You are smoking." "Hot?" "No, just smoking." You reply, pinching a strand of hair still on fire, extinguishing it. -You know 99% of boys stop flirting just before getting a date? Johnny's positive mindset won't let him fall for this trap. -Maybe you'll fall for his loserboy behavior…
Kenshi Takahashi: -Mh the ex-yakuza doesn't trust you one bit. Even if you never betrayed them. -It's just that you like lying a bit too much for his liking. -"I'll keep an eye on you." You chuckle "What eye? I don't see any on your face." You shrug his words off. -Nobody has ever been blacklisted this fast in Kenshi's mind. -But for real, he'll keep your every step checked ready to attack at any of your missteps. -"If you like spying on me so much you could take me out on a date so I can answer all your questions." You hear him choking on his saliva before snapping back. "How do you know I'm spying on you?" Your eyes widened getting closer to him "So I was right? You are spying on me? Damn, you must be so down bad for me-" -The idea of falling one of Wu Shi mountains sounds so good now for Kenshi. "Come pick me up at 9 p.m. and take me to a nice place it has been so long since I've eaten something nice." -Seems like Kenshi has a new problem to deal with. -Also because Madame Bo is the only place nearby…
Kung Lao: -He doesn't trust you at all, your mother may have been a nice woman but your father is terrible! And with your sharp words, Lao thinks you have taken his personality too. -"Begone sorcerer! My hat will slice you in two if you take another step closer." "I'm sure my words have done more damage than that stupid hat." -Actually, a friendship will develop thanks to your constant fights, not always won by you. -Raiden better if you stay alert, you have two sly foxes in the temple now
Raiden: -He isn't as wary as the others, after all you haven't done anything wrong. Being born from such an evil guy doesn't make you evil. -But damn, you can be so harsh with him at times. More than once Raiden wanted to remind you that if it wasn't for him you would be homeless and a loser just like your father. -But then Raiden remembers it's actually thanks to Liu Kang if you are there and bites his tongue. -You are also one of the few people able to make Raiden snap! Most monks never saw such fury before he met you. -"You should thank me. Weak minds don't last much in battle." "If you expect me to thank you for pissing me off you'll have to wait your entire lifetime, snotty sorcerer."
Liu Kang: -When he created this new timeline he hoped a sister could tone down Shang Tsung's evil intentions. -But at the end he threw you away, treating you like a stepping stone to the road to achieve his goal. -So Liu Kang took you in. That doesn't mean you will so easily forgive him for his mistake. -Your words slice his heart frequently. Not because you want to cry about your condition, it's mostly your fault after all, but simply because you like to tease that raw nerve that awakens a usually hidden side of him. -"Shut your mouth or I'll seal your lips forever!" "Ohhh-" you coo at his words "But then how I'll latch my lips at your throat? You seemed to like it yesterday." You say, pressing a finger on the spot where the hickey should be, already recovered thanks to his godly nature. -Liu Kang stomps his right foot on the ground before running out from your lab. How he can love you so much and despise you at the same time is something he still has to wrap his head around.
Geras: -A saint. You may tease, joke, just be nasty and Geras will reply with the calmest voice ever. -Liu Kang told him to make you feel at home and Geras takes his job seriously. -You nagged him a lot about the hourglass, making you take a small peak at it but he never let you close. -"You are too serious Geras, loosen up a little." "It's to compensate for your lack of rules." -You still have to warm up to each other…
Bi-Han: -He doesn't like you. AT ALL. -Bi-Han looks at you with a face dripping with scorn. Even if you are taller than him, he'll make you feel like an ant. -If you tease him too much he'll snap back and won't keep himself from hitting you. -But if you stroke his ego, promising him strength and glory… -As your brother told you "If you want men to do what you want stroke their ego and they will be at your feet." -He also did an analogy comparing the ego to a di- Okay I think the point is clear.
Kuai Liang: -He doesn't trust you, but if Liu Kang decided to keep you with them he won't oppose his decision. -Liang will often ask to train with you, mostly to test your skill level and eventually prepare for a future betrayal. -Also your lab will be often spied, checking if your experiments are safe and good for Earthrealm. -Till one day Liang found a small card on your desk "Train better your men, I could tell someone sneaked in the first time. Shirai Ryu won't last long otherwise." -He tightens the grip on the card, rolling it up before throwing it on the ground. -Liang was the only one that has been spying on you…
Tomas Vrbada: -He doesn't trust you immediately but he is one of the few to give you a chance. -Tomas won't be like a dog, following you around and completely trusting you, but he'll be one to bring you a hot beverage in cold winters when you are alone in your lab. -He answers wittily to your words and rarely he gets dejected. -"I suppose you won't survive in the Lin Kueis if you had a weak mind or if you are simply an idiot…" You whisper out, Tomas' ears catching your words anyway. "…You thought I was an idiot?" -You'd like to reply "Why the paste tense? I still do." but you decide to bite your tongue. You don't mind his company after all.
#mk x reader#mk1 x reader#mortal kombat x reader#mk headcanons#mk1 headcanons#mortal kombat headcanons#johnny cage#johnny cage x reader#kenshi takahashi#kenshi x reader#liu kang#liu kang x reader#geras#geras x reader#mk1 raiden#raiden x reader#kung lao#kung lao x reader#bi han#bi han x reader#kuai liang#kuai liang x reader#tomas vrbada#mk1 smoke#tomas x reader#smoke x reader
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Can I request an Part two of Argenti x fem Vash like reader and maybe x Boothill too? Like since Argenti met Vash reader what if they meet Boothill too? Like how he was trying to find Vash reader due to their bounty over their head and finally found them when Argenti gave them a gun to vash reader from the last interaction with Argenti and Vash reader, this can be the reason why Argenti and Boothill fought for each other about how they fight over who tried to capture Vash reader when the readers goal was saving many lives as possible and stoping their twin brother knives (knives is the very reason why Vash reader has a bounty over their head because knives made it convincing that Vash reader stole smithing sand murder others when it’s actually Knives that did that)
(It is said that Boothill met Argenti and caused some heat between the two so I assumed the two became enemies😭, you can ignore this if you’d like and also take your time and be sure to hydrate!!!)
𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Boothill & Argenti x Female reader
𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with a reader that like Vash
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: fluff, spelling mistakes,
𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈: post
𝐵𝑜𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓁 "𝑀𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓍𝓎 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓈"
The second he sees that bounty on your head, he wants you. He never missed a target, never! You ain’t nothing special either, pretty face with a high bounty. He doesn't mind any mouse and cat chase with you, you better hope you’re running fast.
He’s gotten you a couple of times but you're always escaping by matter of luck and mistakes. The galaxy rangers make fun of him, saying if he ever caught you he should try his luck on a lottery ticket.
You’re just pulling his boot but he’s got ya. You're distracted by that redhead knight, just don’t move and let his bullet go right through yer’ without any pain, quick and easy for everyone.
Until that dunce of a knight grabs you and pulls you away just at the right second. Now he’s just gotten himself some more work to do. You run along with that Prince Charming of yours holding him off, He doesn't get any time for this bull.
He’ll take the loss this time but he’s gonna be on tail til’ you’re backed up in the corner with your tail between your legs.
That knight ain’t telling him nothin’ either, all that’s coming out from his mouth is flowery trash. Makes him wanna feed that knight some led
Till he found your little self in a bar with some angry men around you and they have a bone to pick with you.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Come guys! Let’s talk things out first!”
Putting your hands up to surrender, while a group of men surrounds you—all of them are angry and you’re not getting out of here Scot free.
“How bout’ we sell her piece by piece?” One of the men brought up an idea that made everyone else laugh but made you shiver to your core. “That isn’t necessary!” “Yea, gentlemen, that ain’t necessary cuz’ she gonna be my catch.”
Shots just started piercing through everything like a madman was given a machine gun. You just book it towards the behind-the-bar—glass shatters around you as you run— the adrenaline in your body doesn’t want you to stop.
“Move 'n I’ll shoot yer brains out too.”
You just completely stop the track, hearing his gun click he was going to shoot and there isn’t any way you're getting out of this either. The cold barrel of the gun against the back of your neck.
“Come on, let’s just talk this out of you—“You slowly turned your head, before he smashed you to the side, against the wall with a gun right between your eyebrows. “Yeah, talkin' it out like good ol buds, sorry but I gotta bounty to collect. It’s money, not ya”
“Haha….” You feel sweat dripping from your forehead, the gun being pressed more in between your eyebrows as if to prove a point. “Come on, it doesn't have to be that depressing! Not everything has to do with money.”
“Neither does it have to end up in people getting shot up—“
You shove him roughly to the side, fast but not fast enough for you to avoid the bullet going through your body—catching him completely off guard. What are you stupid or just that selfless—sharp bang echoes fill the air.
The flaming sharp pain in your shoulder, makes the adrenaline run off the walls in your head. Your knees weaken, collapsing onto the ground, body hunching over. Your hand clutches the coat where the bullet tore into, warm blood rapidly soaking through. Every breath just felt like you’re last. Gasping for air like a man who’s drowning in the big ocean.
He doesn’t get it at all, that bullet would’ve gone straight through and probably killed him, no it would have killed him. Yet after shots were fired and everyone was lying limp on the ground, he turned back to have gone with a trail of small drops of blood following.
Guess he was unlucky today.
In another universe you kiss, have a happy family and live without worries because I said so
𝒜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒦𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝐵𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝓎"
Argenti is bae. Like he saw you around a couple of times, helping people and keeping them safe and how can he not find that respectable? Like is knight, not someone who is the most selfless even without amour.
Forget the bounty bae, you're his bae now(jk). He finds you so gentle that he can’t even come close to taking you away.
Seeing kids surrounding you, telling you all about their days and interests all at the same time like you’re the heavenly woman he’s ever witnessed. You’re blessing him with your presence near him.
But seriously he’s most of the time just seen you injured, and it’s pretty obvious when you try not to. Taking shallow breaths, grunting in pain, having a hard time leaning down or just the expression of wanting to die when you’re alone.
Yet he doesn’t understand when he tries to help you out that you start telling it’s fine and he should get off his knee. A warrior fighting for others shouldn’t go without some reward, to allow him to help with injuries. One look. Just one.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Even under the gaze of the bright sun and in pain, your beauty is breathtaking.”
Sitting on wood with your back against the old wood of the box, creaking every minute with newspaper on your face blocking out the sunlight as you try to deal with the terrible pain in your shoulder—even with the bullet out and bandaged up, the pain was just worsening— “Huh?…” you take the newspaper from your face to get a good look at who was there.
“Ah…before you decide to arrest me…we…should talk out Mr knight!” You look at him nervously, knowing you probably wouldn’t be able to get out of this with your injury.
You don’t have glasses on, why now? You try to move your arm around to see where your glasses go. You can’t just leave without them!
“A knight doesn’t attack the innocent. Especially one with honour such as yours.”
“Yeah ....I wouldn’t say I would have honour, it's more like I just want to be as helpful as I can.”
Glasses? Where are those glasses? “Your eyewear.” He’s just holding it right in front of you, “Allow me.” Put it gently on your face before going on your knees.
“What are you doing?!”
“Allow me to treat your injuries.”
“No, no, that's completely fine!”
“I insist, allow me to be in the grace of your beauty.”
if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!
#✧*:・゚✧:・ Yurinna's Writing :・゚✧*:・゚✧#hsr x reader#hsr fluff#boothill x reader#boothill x you#hsr x you#hsr boothill#hsr boothill x reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x reader#star rail#star rail x reader#boothill hsr#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr imagines#Argenti x Reader#Argenti x You#star rail x you
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Can you do a Gabe imagine pls? Can it be a childhood friend's trope pls?
For as long as you could remember, Gabe Perreault had been a constant in your life. You had met in first grade, the curly haired boy coming up to you, with your tiny pigtails, and insisting he sat next to you. What came next was a friendship that had only grown stronger as each year passed.
You went to every hockey game of Gabe’s that you possibly could, and tagging along on each other's family vacations.
You weren’t sure when things shifted, but ever since you had arrived at Boston College for freshman year, something had been different. A good, but also scary different.
Seeing girls flirt with him makes her sick now. A year ago, she would’ve given him a thumbs up and a smile as encouragement, but now she can’t stomach it.
——
It’s a Friday night, and instead of going out to a party, you’re sitting in Conte Forum, watching Gabe’s hockey game, just like every weekend they have a home game. You’re his so-called ‘Good Luck Charm’, deemed when the one game you didn’t go to ended in a loss for Boston College.
Ever since then, you were to be present at every Boston College hockey game, with Gabe’s jersey on, per order of him, Ryan, and Will.
You make your way over to the locker game to see Gabe, like every time. Media is done, and Gabe should be walking out the door any minute now.
“Y/N!” Ryan shouts, running over to you. You spot the familiar brown curls walking behind him, and your stomach flips. “Did you see my goal? It was so sick, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was cool.” You respond halfheartedly, meeting Gabe’s eyes. Ryan shoots you a knowing look, but you swat him.
“Gabe-o!” You shout, throwing your arms around him. His arms go around your waist, steadying the both of you. Butterflies erupt in your stomach. “You looked like a rockstar out there!”
“Thank’s Y/N/N. You brought us good luck, just like I said you would,” His arms are still around your waist, and the butterflies are multiplying rapidly. “The team and girlfriends are going to the bar tonight, you in?” He looks down at you, and you look up at him.
“Sounds fun. I should probably change out of this though, put on something nicer.” You point down at the jersey.
“Oh, you don’t wanna wear my jersey to the bar?” He mocks fake hurt, his million dollar smile spreading across his face.
“I don’t think this exactly screams ‘bar attire’, so I’m gonna have to say no.” You giggle.
“Fair enough. We can swing by your dorm and then head over.”
“Perfect.”
——
The bar is crowded, and Gabe has a tight grip on your hand, in order to not lose you. He’s deep in conversation with Ryan, while you are talking to Ryan’s girlfriend who’s leaning up against him.
You chose not to drink tonight, instead having a diet coke with lime. Someone needs to make sure that everybody finds a safe ride home tonight.
Gabe is not drinking either, figuring you’re gonna need help with rounding up everyone and getting them back.
“Have you told Gabe you liked him?” Ryan’s girlfriend speaks a little too loudly. She’s drunk, and you can’t blame her. Ryan’s eyes widen, and you squirm out of Gabe’s hold.
“Oh, um, look at the time. I should go.” You all but sprint out of the bar, ignoring Gabe’s shouts behind you.
“Y/N, Y/N, wait!” He shouts, but they fall to deaf ears.
“Gabe, go back to the bar. Your teammates need you,” You yell back, not losing your fast pace. But Gabe is faster, and he lifts you off the ground, despite your feet flailing around. “Put me down, now!”
“Sorry, can’t. Not until you stop yelling at me.”
“Please, spare me the embarrassment. You can never speak to me again, just don’t laugh at me.”
“Was she telling the truth? Do you like me?”
It’s a heat of the moment decision, but you decide it’s now or never. Surging forward, your lips meet his, and his hands fall to your waist, pulling you oh so close. It feels like magic; like a years worth of lingering feelings finally coming to a crash in the best way possible.
“Does that answer your question?”
“Yeah, it does.” He goes in for another, hands still on the small of her back to keep them both steady. It feels right, and nothing else could make either of you happier.
#gabe perreault#gabe perreault x reader#boston college hockey#bc hockey#boston college#ryan leonard#will smith#boston college eagles#bc eagles#bc eagles hockey#q writes
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how i went from 60kg to 54kg ( 6kg / 13lb difference ) in two weeks!
( after two years of yoyo-ing and plateaus! )
so first i wanna clarify a few things :
weight loss will be more rapid in the first week or so but will continue throughout
even though this method is very lenient, still count calories and be mindful of what you consume!
i do not promote completely dry-fasting simply because of the negative effects that it has had on me in the past, but feel free to incorporate it safely!
now the good part...
after 2 years of (failed) 4n4, intermittent fasting has been my golden ticket.
my key is giving myself a 4 hour window to eat whatever I want, then fasting for 20 hours. in the first 5 hours of the fast, I hydrate with water and green tea (drink A LOT!)
for the remaining 15, i go with minimal liquids. obviously drink if you're thirsty, but do not indulge to suppress cravings. this will cause bloating, discomfort, and may mess with your digestion.
what to eat while the window is open.
my favourite part about this is that you can eat whatever you want while the window is open. a balance of healthy fats, carbs and proteins is always ideal, but usually I stick with 4 cups of green tea ( 0 cal ), yogurt with granola ( 800 calls ), and some sort of carbohydrate. this keeps me "full" for HOURS and ensures that your body is still getting nutrients while still helping you drop fat quickly.
staying accountable.
ever since the "LIFE fasting app" went down, i've been using "ZERO". it is just as good and includes all the features and possibly even more. if you input your current weight and your goal weight, it estimates how long it will take you to reach your goal.
extra notes.
light-headedness, constipation, and mood swings are expected
"refeeding syndrome" occurs when binging after a long fasting period. consume wisely.
a consistent routine can help you lose up to 3 kg (6.6lbs) a week
I recommend an eating window from 6am to 10 am, but it is totally up to you!
good luck!
#tw 3d vent#tw a4a#tw thinspi#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️ ving#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#tw ana rant#⭐️vation goals#sk11ny#4n4blr#4n4t1ps#tw ana bløg#tw ed ana
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Which apps would I recommend? (3)
It's a bit long, bear with me. I tried to give as much info about the apps as possible. Reminder that I have an iphone, n one app isn't available on google play. I did try to find a alternative that seemed good enough from the pictures of it. 2 of these apps go straight to the point, 1 app is an alternative for people who can't have obvious apps on their phones.
Hope you guys do find this useful !! If you want more apps (or more specific themed apps), you can comment it n I'll try my best to find a good useful app for it.
MyNetDiary
app store, google play n website (n apple watch)
MyNetDiary is my favorite out of them all. It's already pretty popular between in the pr0 - 3d community! It has an app n a website version, which means: wherever you go, MyNetDiary is always with you! You can also download it on your apple watch (n log your w31ght through it or log 'quick c4ls', see your c4ls of the day, ect). DM's r open if you need help figuring out the app (since it took me a little to figure it all out lol).
With MyNetDiary, you can: - log your consumed food, keep track of your consumed c4ls, set a c4l budget, scan food labels (only available on the app) - log your w31ght, get a chart of your w31ght over the past [days, months, year, ect] - set your gw n set a target date you wanna achieve it by, - keep track of [carbs, protein, fat, ect] - connect your account to your health app (like 'apple health' on iphone) - so much more.
Intermittent F4st1ng Tracker
app store (n apple watch) google play alternative: 'FastEasy'
Intermittent F4st1ng Tracker is, as the name implies, an app for f4st1ng. I've been using it for a while n am pretty satisfied w it!
With Intermittent Fasting Tracker, you can: - set lots of different 'f4st goals', like 13:11, 16:8, 18:6, 20:4, 23:1 (OMAD) - set 'f4st goals' over 24 hours (you can set one up to 1 week) - log your w31ght - get an overview of your f4sts (how many hours, ect)
Structured
app store, google play (n apple watch, macbook)
This one is more for the people who have to keep it more hidden for privacy. Structured is a simple day planner, not made solely for losing. But! It is useful anyhow, especially if you do not want apps on your phone that give your journey away. (I can name a few people I know w strict parents, who's check their phones.) DM's open for this too, always willing to help you get a good layout on the app for this.
How would this work? Well, you can use Structured for: - logging your f4sts - logging your c4ls n w31ght everyday - putting your c4l budget to "apply entire day" so you have an overview - N more!
#my net diary#4nor3xia#c4l0r13s#ed c4ls#@nor3×14#pro 3d#@na motivation#light as a feather#@n@ diary#3d f4st#⭐️rving#4n4t1ps#4n4rexia#4norexla#4n4blr#@nor3xia#@tw edd#@na vent#f4st1ng#f4st!ng#l0w c4l#c41
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In your fanfictions, How would you describe Chris/Leon relationship?
lmao idk, read and find out? :'D
nah but the thing that personally attracted me to the pairing was how they're so equal. they've both been in the whole BOW-mess pretty much from the beginning, they've both been fighting the same fight for so long, and there's something so compelling in how they have that shared experience to bond over. especially since they're both so similar and yet so different.
like, excluding re1, Chris has pretty much had more freedom and more leeway to what he's doing, he works with teams and partners, wherein Leon has been on a pretty tight leash and mostly sent in solo. that already creates a difference in circumstance, even though they are both on the same side in the fight, technically.
at the same time, their personalities are very different. they're both good guys, they both wanna help, but how they do so is very different. Chris is more act-before-thinking while Leon bides his time and collects info until he acts (and because someone will purposefully misinterpret this, I'm gonna add; No, I'm not saying Chris is stupid, I'm saying he's impulsive, he needs to get rid of the big bad as fast as possible so he does). and Chris is very single-minded (again, not stupid) and he focuses on the big goal (end the big bad ASAP, to eradicate the threat and save people) not seeing anything else, while Leon gets distracted by every single living soul in need of help on his way to do the same thing. is one of them better than the other? of course not. they're just different personalities.
and I think that's so interesting about them, how they're on the same side, how they're fighting the same fight, but at the same time how their personalities show in how they do it. and not only personalities, but also Chris's militaristic background and Leon's more ...solo-approach (do whatever works :'D). there's such a good dynamic there, how they clearly respect each other and trust each other despite those differences in how they take action. and in fic, that translates to so many things, how Chris is so direct while Leon seems to need to withdraw and mull things over before anything else, if he can (he is also quick on his feet to make decisions if he has to, but it doesn't seem to be how he prefers to do things).
also, not gonna lie, that scene in RE6 where Chris immediately recognizes Leon while he hasn't recognized literally anyone else in his amnesia-riddled mind?? how can you not be moved by that?
of course, you've got to keep in mind that I'm just some random person who likes the pairing. the Chris/Leon fandom is not a monolith, and a lot of other people see the appeal in them differently than I do. if I've learned anything in my time in fandom, then it's that people have very, very different views to how their dynamic works and how their personalities are. to the point i sometimes question if we saw the same source material at all :'D there are a lot of prevalent tropes in the fandom that are not for me, at all, and a lot of characterizations I can't vibe with. there's a reason I feel like I'm outside looking in more often than not lmao.
so. what I'm trying to say, find the thing that works for you. there's a lot of fic out there, find the ones that you like, find the people who make your fandom experience the best possible one, and have fun!
I do hope this ramble at least made sense and helped some, I just woke up so no guarantees on coherency :'D
if anyone wants to add their own thoughts on Chris/Leon to this for anon, feel free to chime in.
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Happy Homestuck day everyone!
Fuck, insane I'm still obsessed with a comic THIS OLD but what can you do.
I feel like people often focus on what Homestuck did poorly or just discuss the characters or the comic abstractly, so in this post I wanna go into a bit more detail about what I think this comic did really really right which I'm yet to see done in other media.
The dialogue is just fantastic. Hussie really knows how to write naturalistic internet style dialogue and it breaths life into characters which otherwise are very flat. So many of the characters are objectively very simple but the dialogue is just so good they still feel like real people. Like Nepeta is objectively very boring, but the dialogue made her feel real enough to make past me kin her.
The format gets a lot of attention for using flash animation and games, but I think the real biggest strength of Homestuck's format is the pesterlogs. I read through Kill 6 Billion Demons a bit ago which is a very similar comic to Homestuck and despite loving it I found I didn't grow nearly as attached to the characters as I did HS. The reason I've come to as to why is that in K6BD the standard comic formatting just doesn't allow natural the characters to be normal people and have normal conversations without totally killing the pacing, so to maintain a fast pace it has to keep that to a minimum. In Homestuck, however, the pesterlogs allow characters to just kinda talk about whatever for normal amounts of time while not requiring the plot to just stop around them. John can ramble about his love of Con Air while doing important ectobiology shit. This gives the audience time to get to know these characters while maintain the lightning fast pace of acts 3 and 4 and a bit of 2 and 5.
The time travel, holy shit like I have NEVER seen time travel done so well, I used to think I hated time travel in media until I read this comic. The comedy gotten through time-traveling chat clients and the use of stable time loops for the story is just so masterfully done. The fact HS manages to have very few plot-holes in terms of its time travel internal consistency is seriously impressive compared to other stories featuring it. I crave so badly a story which can reach the peaks of the lil' Cal reveal and the conversions Karkat had with Karkat.
The fandom hooks. Like most stories are out here letting the fandom do some shipping or have a fun set of factions or a magic system to sort their fav characters into. Homestuck is here quadrupling the potential ships. "My story has 4 elements and what element you have is determined by your personality" Homestuck has a character personality sorting system with 336 possible combinations. Your story has one cool unique world to imagine being in? Homestuck has several. How would your fav react in the Hunger Games? How would they react to their entire planet being destroyed and being sent into a game designed to allow personal expression as much as possible! The lore is also overcomplicated but it does a great job at helping the audience through it. Like fuck this shit was crack to my neurodivergent ass.
The [s] pages were fucking AWESOME, like I am yet to feel the emotion the best [s] pages did since I finished reading the comic for the first time. The complexity of the storytelling means that when it's being told visually you need to actively interpret what's happening, causing strong moments of "oh shit!" when you realize what you just saw, further making an already awesome animation even better!
The way the comic mythologized the feeling of growing up online was so fucking cool to my terminally online ass. It made the worldbuilding feel so much more compelling than similarly complex fantasy worldbuilding ever has.
I might have missed a few things Homestuck did really well I'd like to bring up so I might make another post later, but like, damn. Homestuck was an incredibly unique work and I haven't seen anything like it since. One of my goals in life is to make a work that makes other feels how this comic made me feel cuz nothing has scratched that itch for me, but who knows if I'll succeed at that.
Either way, happy 413! I'm a derse sylph of heart btw <3
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I just wanted some genuine suggestions for losing weight without burning out my body and harming it. Since you are one of the most mature Tumblrina I know, I thought of asking you. You don't have to answer if you aren't comfortable.
thank you for your trust hun❤️ and for the tentative approach to a sensitive subject.
i learned a lot when i was on my own weight loss journey and i can genuinely give some sound advice on how to approach it in a healthy way.
depending on your starting point, i would suggest skipping working out entirely in the beginning. you can walk, 10k steps a day i still swear by, and that's cardio almost everyone can do. again, i don't know your starting point so if we're talking severely overweight start off slow, don't force your joints. just regular walking, no sprinting, running etc.
working out, even cardio stuff believe it or not is more for toning towards the end of weight loss journey and afterwards. everyone thinks hitting the gym is gonna help them lose weight when in fact it can do you a lot more harm than good especially at the beginning. you burn very little calories with an extreme amount of effort, making you even more hungry and prone to overeat, you're gonna end up bulking up your muscle mass and not really getting rid of the fat, plus, again, it can be extremely taxing on your joints and overall health if you push yourself too much too fast.
nutrition is the key with weight loss and i'm tired of ppl trying to sell working out to those who are desperate to make a change.
however it's not as easy as "just don't eat as much", unfortunately. and if you're like me and have other things hindering your process, in my case, insulin resistence, then it's really not simple at all.
you gotta try and see what works best for you but there are some things that benefit everyone regardless of their specific needs.
first of all, you gotta be in a caloric deficit. there are a lot of online calculators where you enter your current weight, age, gender, height and your weight goal, and it calculates what your daily caloric intake should be for you to get there as realistically as possible while still mentaining a healthy dose of nutrients.
which leads me to number two on the list, macros (those calculators will tell you what your daily macros should be too). you wanna look up meals that are high protein low cal. you'll be amazed how some easy changes to your diet can make such a big difference! download myfitnesspal (an app) where you can track everything you eat, buy a food scale so you can weigh everything and this way you can ensure you reach your macros for the day (protein, fats, fibers and carbs) while staying within your daily caloric deficit. which btw, should never go bellow 1100-1200 no matter how fast you're trying to lose weight! there's no way you can reach your macros if you do that and you'll be malnourished, you'll lose muscle mass not just fat and you'll also end up with lose skin if you starve yourself.
which leads me to number three, don't starve yourself!!! you won't be able to sustain it for a long period of time and you'll end up binge eating every several days, which will erase all the "progress" anyway. trust me.
allow yourself a lil cheat meal every once in a while so you don't grow frustrated(careful to remain within your daily calorie intake, carbs and fats will probably skyrocket but at least try and get smth high protein)
drink lots and lots of water at least 3-4 liters daily (not all at once!!! this is very dangerous and i just wanted to clarify!) it makes a world of a difference!
try and get your 10k steps in if you can but even without that if you're in a defiict you WILL lose weight
you can also try intermittent fasting. i wouldn't recommend one meal a day. try at least two. the way it works is you try and not eat at all for as long as possible and then only eat in the ramaining timeframe. most ppl do 16-8 or 18-6. meaning you fast 16/18 hours and only eat in the remaining consecutive 8/6 hours. this eliminates snacking. which is important in terms of glicemic spikes. your body needs downtime between meals, if you keep feeding it and snacking however little every few hrs you keep getting spikes in your blood sugar and you won't lose weight. sometimes even if you're in a significant deficit. skipping breakfast is easiest, but you could skip dinner if it makes more sense for you. but make sure you hit your macros in the remaining timeframe. if you can't manage that, intermittent fasting is not for you
this is, in very rough lines, what i consider essential. keep at it for a month and you'll see results and will be motivated to continue! i hope it helps ❤️
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Just finished eating 4 in n out burgers and animal fries, plus chocolate shake and now I'm about to use my Thrusting dildo and cum handsfree, I'm such a fatass 🤣
Pls someone kidnap me and get me out of this life and put me in a dungeon chained to the ceiling with funnel strapped to my mouth!!!
My address is 5221 W. Sunland Ave. Laveen Az 85339
The first day I'm walking home from getting the mail, and I get approached by this car and the window rolls down, a man asked me are you the one that post on Tumblr saying you want to get kidnapped and taken hostage to just be fattened up, I excitedly said "yes!!" With glee... He tells me to get in, but before I get in I smash my phone against the curb, then I get in...
He ties my eyes shut with a scarf and tied me up so I can't pussy out and say no, I've already made my choice once I smashed my phone... I hear the car stop and get rushed down a few flights of stairs and get chained up in a sex swing completely nude. My eyes get unscarfed and I'm looking around the dungeon, I'm laying on my back with my legs hiked up as if I'm giving birth. I see the ceiling has 4, 5 gallon tanks full of melted ice cream... I'm freaking out and kind of getting turned on at the same time I can't explain it, but it feels right.
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, then the door behind is making unlocking sounds, so I lean my head back to look back at the door upside down, I see a tall 6'6 man walking towards me, I can't say anything cause my mouth is strapped up and ready to be funnel fed. HE SAYS THIS TO ME, "I know you must be a little scared but don't worry from now on till you die I'll be taking care of you" with a smile on his face. He says that these tanks are full of whey protein powder, melted ice cream, whole milk, peanut butter and cum... I said "Cum?!?" He said "yes cause deep down you wanna eat up someone cum like a slut", I said "yes you're right, daddy." He said let's get started with the feeding...
I see the funnel coming down from the ceiling, he reaches for the funnel and straps it to my mouth, I'm getting turned on just from him manhandling me and forcing what he wants unto me. Once the funnel is strapped on he tells me I hope you don't get too uncomfortable too fast, I look at him like why? Then he puts the flow on 10/10 I see it going down the tube, and I feel it rushing down my throat not giving me enough time to swallow so it's just being guzzled into my gut with no remorse. I feel myself starting to get full from not even doing a minute of the machine, I start squirming and trying to do everything to get out so I don't pop, but I can clearly see my feeder is enjoying himself and rubbing himself till he cums to let me off the machine, but he's taking so long to get off to me, I pass out from the pain of my growing body. I wake up 4 hours later cause my feeder told me and also told me I passed out because I drank so much, but I feel myself still full from the funnel feeding, I can't move or anything because I forgot I'm chained to a sex swing with no motion to move for myself.
My feeder told me "I'm not gonna have sex with you till you reach 400 pounds and I can't cum till I get to that weight", I'm only 200 pounds rn, also like it's even possible for me to move and jerk myself off cause I'm restrained...
4 months later
I'm 375 pounds rn it's been 5 months since I've had sex and I'm still on the sex swing haven't moved since I got here. now I'm wearing a chastikey to keep myself locked up, in case I get free to try and jerk myself off, I'm craving it so bad I'm willing to eat anything and everything just to get my dick even touched or looked at by him. So everyday at every hour I'm drinking that liquid from the ceiling just dreaming of one goal... To get my butt fucked and drilled out by my feeder, but it's taking forever, and wearing the chastikey is depressing but who cares?!? It only makes me wanna eat faster and gain as much weight as possible!
1 week later
He finally says to me "I think you've gained quite a few pounds 🤣" he said jokingly... My feeder had gotten me a farm animal weight scale, so I step on the scale and it says 416 pounds, I ask "we'll, what does it say?" He said to me "youre finally over 400 pounds!" I fall to the ground crying and weeping in tears of joy and I ask him "is it okay that we have sex now?" He said to me "yes, go get in your swing!" I immediately and obeying as I am, I run over there but my body is too big for me to hold myself up for much longer cause I've been laying in that swing for almost 5 months gaining hundreds of pounds... So no shit, I somehow managed to get myself into the swing, laying on my back I spread my legs open, and finally he unlocks the chastikey after 4 months of no touching, getting hard, and whining about it to my feeder, he takes it off and he says to me, looks like the chastikey is really working, I asked "why?" He asked me "are you horny rn?" With a smile on my face I said "yes?" He said to me "your dick shrunk!" Laughing at me and made me even more hornier. He sticks his dick into my ass while I'm getting funnel fed again but for the first time in months of actually gaining weight, I'm getting fed and fucked at the same time! This is just the life I've always dreamed of...
If you like this? Ask for Part 2 😁
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I really hate how I just can’t have a consistent goal or dream in my life.
As a kid I dreamed of being a veterinarian because I loved animals but eventually gave up on that because I lost that spark to actually care for them.
I mean it’s normal for that to happen but the thing is that I can barely take care of myself so I don’t trust myself enough to care for another living thing.
I had dreams in middle school to be a webcomic artist but I also lost the spark for it since I struggled to even pick up a pencil sometimes and often had art block.
Now currently I dream of being some form of popular/famous and find that Vtubers tend to be a hot topic on the internet so I’m like “Why not?”
But then I realized I’m nowhere near fucking stable to be a good streamer and would probably make my audience hella uncomfortable and not wanna watch my stuff. Plus I know I would get tired of fame very fast.
All in all I just want to be loved.
I want to be known and seen for what I am, but I know that’ll never be possible because I’m genuinely such a mess that I scare people and make them lose hope in me, and that’s not even exaggerating. My parents have said to me on quite a few occasions that they don’t know what to do with me anymore.
Idk maybe for all I know it could just be a case of me being young and aimless, but I won’t deny it’s the most frustrating shit ever.
#jirai lifestyle#jiraiblogging#random rants#rants#rant#jirai#jirai posting#jiraiblr#landmineposting#lifestyle landmine#landmineblogging#landmineblr#landmine jirai
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"lost in the 80s" - my metallica dr-based fanfiction!!
chapter one: hungover at the beach
I woke up to the sound of my roommate (who’s simultaneously my ex-boyfriend and best friend), Dave, throwing my bedroom door open, yapping about how it’s time for me to wake up. It’s 9am on a Friday, band rehearsal is on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and it’s never this early, so why the fuck is he waking me up now? Naturally, instead of getting up, I pulled my covers over my head, avoiding the light that was making my head pound so hard that I felt like a vampire with light sensitivity issues. I was incredibly hungover from the night before, we spent all night drinking and partying, celebrating our album coming out soon, finally finishing another song after weeks cramped in that tiny studio going over the same riffs. I’ve never been much of a partier or a drinker like the others, but it was Lars that convinced me to “loosen up and have a drink,” and he can be oddly convincing so I joined; turns out I am in fact a lightweight and I’m facing the consequences. I spent the night avoiding the crowd while Jasmine and Lars kept pulling me back into the crowd while I was getting called a “poser” by some random guy because my favorite band is Eagles and not some underground, guttural thrash metal band, and arguing with James. Pretty much everything else was a blur.
The sound of continuous car horns honking outside and Dave non-stop yelling “Wake up, wake up, waaaakkkeeeee uuuuuuppppp!!” finally got my ass out of bed. I stumble into the living room to see two packed tote bags on the counter, and James leaning against the same counter fidgeting with his rings.
“What are you doing here?” I say with a scratchy morning voice and already an attitude brewing at the quick sight of him.
“Waiting for you?” He said, scoffing. “We were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago, Giana.”
I pause, a confused face starting to form while I just stare blankly at James and wait for him to tell me what’s going on. He lets out a sigh and says “We’re all going to the beach? It was your idea, said something about shark spotting or shark swimming.” Then it clicked!! There’s a place on the beach by a secluded cliff where you can see and swim with nurse and leopard sharks, so of course, my face lit up almost in a second as I giggled and ran to my room to get ready as fast as possible. I could hear James’ footsteps getting closer to my room as I tried to do my skincare, hair, and get my shit together so we could just go. “Someone’s excited,” he said with a slight smile. I try so hard to be nice to him but everything he says just makes me want to blow my brains out.
“Get out of my room.”
“I’m not in your room?” He was leaning against my dresser? So, yes, he was?
“I have to get changed, get OUT.” He stood there with a smug smile on his stupid face. “What do you want? You’re not allowed to borrow shirts anymore after you stained my Scorpions shirt.”
“I don’t wanna borrow shit, can’t I just stand here?” He wanted something, I just couldn’t figure it out.
“Is your life goal to annoy me?”
“Oh, of course it is, Giana. And I'm never gonna stop.” God, that fucking man makes me want to bash his guitar right over her head. Sorry.
“Alriiiight, I’ll just change in my bathroom since you wanna be a fucking creep,” I said while making my way over to my bathroom, I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull as I closed the door. Like, 5 minutes went by and I was finishing up putting my bathing suit on, some short-sleeved compressed bathing suit top and bikini bottoms, and I could hear James fidgeting around with shit in my room. I opened the door and saw him trying on my rings?
“Can you put them down and stop invading my privacy more than normal?”
“What are you talking about, Giana? You said I could try your stuff on, do you not remember?” I think he’s sarcastically gaslighting me?
“Okay, shut up and get out now,” I grabbed his shirt collar and started to pull him out of my room. He turned around and latched himself in between my door frame, and with a big grin on his face, he said “Giana, if you wanted an excuse to get your hands on me, you could’ve just said so. You know I wouldn't say no, pretty girl.”
“Will you say no if I ask you to shut up or die?”
“Fuck off,” he said while rolling his eyes and walking away, finally. I finished getting ready shortly after and walked into the living room, the tote bags were gone and so were James and Dave; I swear I thought they ditched me til I heard a car horn and Tori yelling “Giana!! Hurry up, we’re losing daylight!!” I rushed downstairs and out to the car, and to my surprise was James leaning on the drivers’ side of my car. I walked over and nudged him, kind of a subtle hint for him to move it.
“Quit it, Gia, I’m driving.” He said, annoyed.
“Like fuck you are, get off my car, Hetfield.” There’s no way he’s driving my car?? He roughly but not painfully grabbed my arm and said “Like fuck I am. Tori doesn’t trust you driving with someone else in the car at more than 55 miles an hour, especially me, so you’re stuck in the passenger seat, puerquito.” Ever since Jasmine and I met, he’s picked up on some Spanish from eavesdropping on us, and ever since he found out that puerquito means “little pig” in Spanish, he’s been calling me it for months because apparently, I make a mess and defile everywhere I go like a pig. How sweet.
“Dear God, there’s no way you’re dri-”
“Save it because I am,” he said with the biiiiigest and most obnoxious smile on his face.
“Do I at least get to pick the music?” I said, hoping I would since I’m not trusted in my own car.
“Yeah, ‘course. I brought your guitar if you wanna play along too, even if you suck.”
“Okay, asshole, I do not suck?”
“Right, right, I forgot, you swallow.” Face went blank, no one laughed, and I swear I hate him more every second. Before I could respond, Tori yelled at us both to get in the car so we could finally leave. And if I forgot to mention, James is by far the most insufferable person in a car, and even more so when he’s the one driving. He pretends to not pay attention to freak me out, he messes with the stereo, he sometimes misses the exit, he’s just all-around someone you don’t want to be stuck in a car with for more than 10 minutes. And this place was an hour and a half away.
Roughly 30 minutes into the ride there, I’d conned him into listening to Hotel California by Eagles at least 5 times, specifically the cassette that my dad had made for me by using his old tape recorder so I could hear them play live since I wasn’t old enough to go. James tried to weasel his way into changing the tapes but all of my cassettes are stored under the passenger seat for safety when I lock the car at night. “Giana, I’d be on my hands and knees begging for you to change the song if I weren’t fucking driving right now. Just. Change. The. Tape.” I loved being able to aggravate him with no way for him to do anything, he does it all the time so why can’t I?
“Mmmmmm, wonderful offer honestly, but you didn’t even say please?” I playfully taunted him. He tilted his head at me while rolling his eyes, “Change the song, Gia. Please? I can’t take it anymore, both you and the song are giving me a headache, so would you be so kind as to change the song?” He smiled softly before letting out a sigh.
“Since you asked so kindly, of course I can, James,” I flashed him a smile and went to change the tape, which was unknowingly to him, another Eagles tape.
“Thank you so so much, sweet girl.” Trying not to giggle. “You know how seriously I hate that-” before he could finish, Nightingale by Eagles began playing loudly and I started headbanging softly as soon as it started. “Oh, coooomeeee oooonnn. As if their music isn’t bad enough, you have to go and headbang to it?”
“You’ll get over it,” I smiled and sang along to the lyrics.
Finally, after what felt like ten million years, we made it to the spot. Everyone got there before us and since the cliff was a little more hidden, no one was there but us. Tori was rubbing sunscreen over Lars’ already red back, Jasmine was laying her towel down, Grace was off to the side setting up the stereo, Dave was sitting on the edge of the cliff and unaware that Cliff was about to kick him off in a millisecond (it’s not too high up, he’ll hopefully be fine…), and James sat our bags down under some shade of the tree hovering over this secluded little spot. I gave Grace my cassettes and I went back over to quickly get my shoes and cover-up off. Just as I finished taking off my shirt, I turned around and James slammed right into me, his chin hitting my forehead; since I was close to the side-edge of the cliff, I would’ve fallen had he not grabbed my waist and pulled me away. He had a slight look of concern on his face, one hand around my waist, the other moving my bangs out of the way to see if there was a mark. It was all very… much. But a good much. “Shit, you’re bleeding a little. Does it hurt badly?”
“No, no, I’m fine, James-” he touched it and it stung, so as a human reaction, I winced.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he said while giggling a little. Tori, Jasmine, and Lars were all very obviously staring while James used his thumb to wipe off the blood, everyone else was just minding their own (which is what they should’ve been doing as well, those invasive little shits.). “What? What’s wrong?” He turned to look at what was making me hold back laughter, and saw them staring shamelessly.
“Get a room, you gross gremlins,” Tori said, making Jasmine and Lars burst out laughing.
“Oh, come on, guys. I was just trying to be-”
“Save it, twink!” Jasmine said in instant rebuttal to James” attempt at defending his relatively flirty actions.
We all laughed it off (except James) and moved on with our exciting day. After a few minutes, I went over to the edge of the cliff after everyone jumped off; Lars grabbed Tori and they dove in together, Dave failed an attempt at a cannonball, Cliff had to quietly convince Grace to join in since she was invested in a Vogue magazine and had her walkman on full blast, Jasmine did a run and jump, and all that was left was me and James. “You gonna go or you just gonna stand there and be a pussy?” James asked, teasingly.
“Ha ha,” I laughed sarcastically. “For your information, I’ve never cliff-dived before, so my bad if I’m a little nervous.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up and just go before I push you in.”
“Do not.”
“Then go.” I was debating whether I should let him or not since it would take me another 10 minutes of convincing to jump off a 30 foot cliff. It was a little laughable that this was my idea, but in my solid defense, I didn’t know it was this high. “Taking so much time to make a little jump off a little cliff, Miss Vázquez. Need my help?” He sarcastically asked while staring at me.
“No, no, I can d-”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, took too long to answer, so you’re coming with me,” and my life flashed before my eyes as he wrapped his arms fully around me with full force and dove off the cliff with me. It’s easy and obvious to say that day was not quiet like I was anticipating, but in fact full of him getting on my nerves and not letting me have a moment of serenity. I fell asleep on the ride home while “Peaceful, Easy Feeling” by Eagles played quietly in the back.
working on the next chapter :)
#metallica#james hetfield#cliff burton#kirk hammett#dave mustaine#lars ulrich#80s#fan fiction#metallica fan fic#reality shifter
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What Are My Goals? (+ a little backstory)
Hi again!
I figured my next post should definitely center around introducing what goals I want to achieve.
Well, as I said in my last post (which you should read if you want a bit more background on me), I am in my senior year of undergrad, but that definitely doesn't mean I'm done with school. Nope. In fact, the goal is to go straight into a master's program. Then after that, even more academia (yay!), but that's getting too far ahead of ourselves. Let's stick with the near future for now.
I know to get into a good master's program, I have to keep my grades up. That's among my goals for this year: keep those grades UP.
This semester is quite the mess. Not only do I have ochem 2, a subject I am practically allergic to fully understanding, but I'm also taking another god forsaken subject: physics. If you are one of those gifted individuals who just "get it," know that I envy you tremendously. They are the bane of my undergraduate existence. The only thing standing between me and my degree, I fear.
My goal is to get all A's this semester. An ambitious goal (when I consider my history with these subjects, ochem 1 resulted in a B) but one I think I can seriously achieve if I dedicate myself the way I know I can. So there's one goal: Study, study, study. And when I think I'm through studying? More studying.
Another goal I have for myself is working out. I do workout, but I am insanely inconsistent as of late. I want to work out consistently. Not only is it good for me, but I also feel really good when I do it. It just feels good to feel strong, you know. I've been going for a few weeks, and I've seen some improvement already, but I've just been really inconsistent diet wise, so I'm not seeing many results. Let's segway into that: I want to eat better.
And when I say I want to "eat better," I don't mean I want to restrict myself or anything like that. I'm uninterested in becoming this ultra health person who can't live a little. The deal is: chemotherapy affects a lot of things. To be honest, I try not to think about it much, but I do have to wonder how much it'll affect my health later on in life. I know I did what I had to do, but I really wanna lessen the blow of it as much as I possibly can. I think I can do that through diet and exercise, even if it's a fairly small difference. When it comes to my diet, I want to prioritize fiber and lean protein. Protein, of course, because I really would like to gain muscle. So far, I'm very inconsistent with my protein intake. Not only that, but I spend way too much money on eating fast food. I don't want to be too strict with myself, so of course I can get some chicken nuggets every once in a while, but fast food is not as cheap as I think it is in those moments! I swear, every meal is literally like 10 dollars. Am I the only one who remembers when a meal was like 7?? It is genuinely a problem, especially since I should be saving for a car right now. Yikes. So those are some of my diet goals: more protein, more fiber; less eating out.
Another goal: save money. Well, folks, it's time. I absolutely have to save money. I've missed out on so many opportunities because of my lack of reliable transportation. It seriously holds me back from internships, shadowing, etc.. I have a license, but it's hard to always have to borrow my mom's car, especially considering my uni is quite a bit away. So one of my goals is to save up a good chunk of money to buy something used that'll get me from point A to point B. I'm not really the type of person who needs a "fancy" car. I just need something reliable. Something that'll go the distance. I've heard good things about Hondas and Toyotas, but even used, those are a bit expensive. The goal is something in that realm though, so saving money really has to be prioritized.
Finally, I just really want to take care of myself. I've been at odds with myself for a while, my entire adolescence basically. I've just now in recent years (the last two or so) become a bit more "at peace" with who I am + who I've become. Before, I kinda saw my body as this enemy, and now, I'm learning to love it - learning to love me. To do things for myself, because I want to - because I think I deserve to give those things to myself. I don't want to be too harsh on myself about anything, but I want to nudge myself towards the goals I so very badly want to achieve.
These are just a few of the things I am currently wanting to strive towards and accomplish.
My future posts will be about these topics and perhaps other goals. I plan on doing weekly goals, weekly recaps, updates about specific goals, what I'm doing to achieve those goals, etc. etc.. All in the name of accountability. For example, I think it would be really cool if I do posts about how my fitness journey is going, like what sort of progress I'm making PR wise (I'm lifting weights now!). Then, I'll do weekly uploads going through just about everything I studied, read, etc. etc..
If you're interested in reading about all of this sort of stuff, you should give my blog a follow! I'd also recommend you read my first post if you're a bit confused or curious about the purpose of this blog and or myself.
Thank you for reading,
-C
#blog#study#studyblr#fitness#studying#study blog#student#college#university#digital diary#diary#journal#journaling#get my life together#study motivation#student life#study aesthetic#studyspo#academic#workingout#work in progress#study inspiration#study inspo
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!! An@ diaries ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。
28 August 2024, 11:44 pm.
• trying to fast as much as possible..
• alternating between fasting n 300 cals max (volleyball)a day /week
Goal day reach:: 1st October 2024.
Goals::
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚Day 1...
September 1st,2024
• umm so.. my unlucky ass got my period the day after I was gonna start fasting 😞
When I get my period it's so hard for me to not binge because I start craving food even if I'm not hungry so I binged the whole day and failed ... Tomorrow ill try to fast since my period never affects me on the 4th day !! And it's also Monday so I find it easier for me to "schedule" my fasting and omad yk😓 but anyways I'll try do to my best to prevent myself from eating and since school started its been getting much more easier since im busy the whole day,yippie!!! But anyways bye babes I'll update tmr!🤗
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ Day 2...
September 2th,2024
• ok so..Today there was no school because it was Labor Day! So preventing myself to eat was a lil harder😓 But I guess I did ok today! For breakfast at around 8:45am I had 2 croissants which I had NO idea it was almost 300 CALORIES EACH. So I def had a lil moment of regret after eating it🤗🤗 but it's wtv I guess🙄 luckily I was occupied for the rest of the day deep cleaning my room so I didn't eat anything except chew on sugar free gum😛
at around 2:30 I went to play beach volleyball with my friends which we played for like 4 hours straight so I ended up burning most of the cals I got from the croissants!!! After we got tired we went dep and I tried monster for the first time!! It was the white sugar free one and it was only 10 cals so I was very happy abt that!! I didn't really like the flavor tbh.. but it's still a good "safe food" when I'm eating less than 300 cals ! After that I walked home so I was able to burn a lil more calories and my mom made pasta so I had a plate! And that's all for today🤭
Since tmr I'm going back to school I'll be able to fast/ eat less than 300cals for the week! That's all goodnight guys!:)
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚Day 3...
September 3th,2024
... I actually wanna kms😞
So I had volleyball tryouts/practice today and I had this plan to only eat a small meal for lunch so I can atleast have some energy for volley... and that's what I did! I had one hotdogs which was able to fill me up for the day and I was able to burn it all out during volleyball! So I decided to starve for the rest of the afternoon and when I came home my freaking brother bought like a whole ass feast for the both of us and I was trying sooooo hard to resist but I felt bad bc he used his miney and he's always so kind to me and I couldn't lie to him bc ik he knows yk😞 so my fatass ate a freaking cake and shawarma thinking if I drank a 100 cal smoothie during it would make a difference but no it did not🤬🤬 u honestly feel so guilty and disgusting bc I just CANNOT PREVENT MYSELF FROM EATING. AS HARD AS I TRY I JUST CANT I END UO GIVING IN☹️☹️ and I'm honestly so done with saying "oh I'm gonna fast the whole day tmr I won't eat anything and catch up" like no girl why you lying😞 please if u guys have tips to avoid and YK HOW I FEEL PLEASEEE HELP A GIRL OUT💔💔
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personal ramble - if you don't wanna hear about my personal life, scroll on I won't be offended :)
I keep on flip flopping between 'life is amazing!' and 'i feel hopeless'
I have to move out of uni and back into my family home in 27 days. I am dreading it. there's no guarentee that I'm returning here and I know full well that I cannot take living at home indefinitely, I think if I'm not returning to uni (it's all up in the air atm) then the max amount of time I could survive at home without going insane and needing to be literally anywhere else is like 2 years
I have no idea what I wanna do, I have no idea what I'm going to do, all I know is that I NEED to move out of my family home as soon as I can
I wanna re-come out to my parents, I never actually came out to them actually I was outed when I was 14 and they basically said 'no you are not trans you're not a boy you never will be a man you are our daughter and always will be' and that hurt, a lot. obviously
I am so used to being called my preferred name and he/him by friends, uni and work when I still worked at unspecified fast food chain, that my deadname and she/her hurts that whole lot more when they get used to refer to me
I don't know if uni has improved or worsened my life. it's given me some hope in that when I do eventually move out I know my life will not be as horrible as it was for the 20 years before I started uni because I was starting to worry that I just hated everything like being alive sucked when it doesn't, I just desperately needed to not be at home. then again, the freedom and the independence that uni has given me has given me this hope and positivity that I've felt since starting uni and living on my own, have the last 2 years of my life where I've felt happier than I ever thought possible actually been a bad thing in that when, whether that is in 27 days or this time next year if I end up able to stay at uni, I move back home I'll feel even more trapped and lonely and hopeless?
going to uni was my light at the end of the tunnel, the end goal, the thing I worked so hard for because it was all I could see myself doing. I just wanted to get into uni and move into uni and then work it out from there, I may have to do that in 27 days and I am so scared
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