#but I do wanna ask that you keep

[springtrappd]

Legitimate question here: do you have DID? Like, there’s some descrepancies and refs to it in that discourse post, but, like, just want to know what you actually know about the disorder-

gonna repost my tags on the og post here:

...and say that while I am very uncomfortable with discussing the specifics of my trauma-based disorders on my five nights at freddy's sideblog, I do have a dissociative disorder. if you read through the reblog chain, you'll see that I already explained that most of the omissions in the og post were deliberate; I didn't want to take focus away from the point of the post (subconscious ableism), nor did I want to confuse people by overcomplicating the whole thing with specifics. I'm in therapy for it, I read studies on it in my spare time, I speak with members of the community often (and have many as close friends), and the only thing stopping me from reading books on it is the nightmare that is capitalism. I think I know a fair bit about the subject.

[yuwuta]

half of these tiktok relationship/break up/whatever pranks would not work on most of the jjk boys, but nanami is esp funny because he just becomes immune to it. you tell him you two should break up and he just sighs and nods, continues making dinner even as you flutter around him and try to start a fake argument. “kento, hello? i’m saying we’re finished!” and he just hums, and chops the vegetables, “that’s nice, dear. did you want red or yellow peppers this time?” 

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[ayulaoneone]

It's fucked up that pets are dependents and you need extra money to feed them and shit and you have to consider that before you get one. In my opinion when you put a collar around a girl's neck and watch the personhood drain from her eyes she should become immortal somehow also.

[triglycercule]

mtt therapy moment except dust keeps taking breaks to talk to phantom papyrus and horror just wants this to hurry up so it can get to his turn because he couldn't give two shits about dust and killer's trauma and killer physically cannot discuss his issues and just starts zoning out while crying for some reason during it

and i'm the therapist listening to all of this writing down notes fervently because ITS CANON MATERIAL CANON I NEED TO GET THE CANON MATERIAL

[spookberry]

I put them next to each other casually without much thought, but I've had to redraw them in this set up so many different times in the development of this project that I kinda ship them now??? like why are they always lookin at each other like that

[vynnyal]

Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂

[spaciebabie]

at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

[todayisafridaynight]

rate the outfit

[artifeast]

some more telesphore :3

[necrotic-nephilim]

in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)

[sillystringsimpsons]

Just realised I never shared this omg

Meet the redesigned (and present-day) Jono! I realised I'd originally subconsciously coded him as Aboriginal in some little chunks of experimental writing I made of him and Memphis, and I wanted to make him explicitly so because a) NO SIMPSONS ABORIGINAL AUSTRALIAN CHARACTERS? NOT ONE? b) I thought him having ties to the Stolen Generation (on his mother's side) brought valuable depth to his character (and the Stolen Generation is also something I've wanted to explore a bit in my work) and c) I was already subconsciously writing him as Aboriginal and there's literally only one rough artwork of him made before all the development I gave him, so why go against my instincts for his character?

For context, this is only other appearance in a visual work, back when he was just a two-dimensional placeholder, haha.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A Blorbo You Treat Nicely, Right?

[mars-ipan]

Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.

Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏

hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.

as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D

check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia

i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.

i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and “immature.”

he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.

been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.

option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.

option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.

we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.

hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.

if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.

regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.

regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.

hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

PROJECT: FREEMAN AU

Okay so I already made a post explaining this au a while back, but it recently got a rewrite so I'm gonna go over it again, in a bit more detail this time, so bear with me

Project: Freeman is an au that takes place in a timeline where the resonance cascade never happened, and Black Mesa is instead focusing not just on teleportation technology and studying Xen, but also finding ways to utilize Xen pools and the micro-organisms inside that are proven to have healing properties. Thus, they spend a lot of their time and funding on experimentation on both Xen animals and human beings, studying how the Xen organisms will heal damaged tissue.

(full explanation below since this might get a little long)

After multiple failed tests, they get a new mysterious sponsor, one promising full funding if they do one more test to prove the technology is worthwhile, and Black Mesa begins work on a new HEV suit to utilize it, fitted specifically for the use of Gordon Freeman, unaware he's even taking part in a test of any kind.

After a while, the suit does it's job, healing any and all wounds inflicted on Freeman due to the Xen Micro-Organisms being introduced into the system whenever he is harmed. One test even results in Gordon's death, and he is still resurrected using the suit.

However after that test, the Sponsor was not satisfied, and ordered for a month-long endurance test on the suit, being used non-stop for an extended period of time with various methods of both harm and death used to see how long the suit can keep Freeman alive. After a few days, the suit began to show signs of wear, healing wounds incorrectly and at a rate that seemed more harmful that helpful, all while Gordon is still unaware of what is causing it all.

After that, the suit malfunctioned, causing itself to fuse to Freeman's body, unable to be removed or have its life support systems shut off, leaving Gordon to mutate and deteriorate without a way to get help.

Despite the fact the test was a clear failure, the Sponsor pressured Black Mesa's Administrator to continue until the full month was over, leaving Gordon a pawn to a continuous and agonizing test, unclear when it will end, all while he begins to suspect the ones "helping him" aren't there to help him at all.

[theinternetisfulloftrash]

Here you go!

I- I... I don't know what to even say except....

THIGHS. TUMMY. HANDS. AND WHY IN THE FUCK DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD IN A GARTER BELT!? Like who gave you the fucking RIGHT, sir?