#but I can’t even fucking do that huh
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Patron Saint of Missed Expectations
#literally every birthday I have sucks straight ass. I’m so tired.#literally just wanted to go to a nearby Dave and busters#but I can’t even fucking do that huh#not to mention that my grandpa forgot it was my birthday today. oh well.#you bet your ass he doesn’t forget his other granddaughters birthday#you would think I’d be used to being second best#regardless I just want the pain to stop#it won’t though so what’s the point of bitching#gore#body horror#tw gore#cw: gore#please let me know if I need to add more tags thanks
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honestly i’m still so incredibly pissed off that they made Sunfyre larger than Syrax in hotd.
like, you’re telling me Syrax, who’s thirty-three years old or possibly older (around the same age as Rhaenyra, her cradle-mate) and was large enough to ride when Rhaenyra was seven, is somehow smaller than Sunfyre, who’s twenty-five at the most and grew up in the dragon pit while Syrax has been on Dragonstone with Rhaenyra since she was sixteen??
i don’t want to hear about sexual dimorphism since it’s directly stated in the book that they couldn’t even tell if dragons had genders or not, and they only classified the dragons who had laid eggs as female.
#house of the dragon#syrax#sunfyre#anti hotd#that and the fact that they didn’t even make sunfyre GOLD.#like. the two second snippet you get to see of him in season one makes him more gold and pink than season two#the show runners just can’t let the dragons have vibrant colors huh#between that choice and the weird color muting they do in post production you’re never getting a vibrant colored dragon i guess#…i do like sunfyre’s horns though. those are cool#wish they’d put more thought into the dragon horns in general tbh. like that cgi concept for an older vermax was cool as hell…#you’re telling me vermax could’ve had cheek horns? could’ve looked like she was smiling?? that’s cool as fuck#in general though. they fucked that show up horribly
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27 today huh. Weird! Pics taken at my birthday party because it’s been a minute since i posted a selfie lol
#my glorious face#it’s genuinely fucked up im 27 now#i’m an adult and have been an adult and do adult things and am married but i’m still like. HUH? IM HOW OLD?#anyways im not that old just mentally stuck at like 22-23 lmfao#also i need more pictures of my tattoos smh you can’t even see half of them
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got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’
#i’m so tired man#yeah because you’re a cis straight white woman#but what about your queer child?#what about other lgbtq+ people? you say you support them/us but apparently not enough if you don’t care to vote#and then she started on about how kamala is just as bad if not worse#bc she’s an easily influenced boomer and listens to other dumbfuck boomers#plus the internalized misogyny#i just can’t yall#i know some have it worse with their parent/family member being full on pro trump but this#is just so fucking frustrating#not to mention my bitch sister who within the past couple years moved to the midwest with her abusive bf & got knocked up twice#is suddenly loudly pro trump#the same woman who a mere handful of years ago was about to marry her trans girlfriend (whom she also dated before they realized they#were trans!!)#the same woman who has dated girls multiple times#and had more than a few abortions#like just because you now have two children and no longer interested in having abortions no women should have them?? fucking hypocrite#she just disgusts me#like did he beat the brain cells out of you or did all the heroin you used to do kill them#i’m sorry im just so fucking angry with her like i didn’t think i could get more pissed/upset with her#after she ���indirectly’ killed my cats#which i will never ever forgive her for#but this is just extra on top#legit no longer acknowledge her as my sister - i now only have one vs the two i was raised with idfc im better off#i’m just tired#and it’s not even an ‘election time’ thing this is just … never gonna end/change huh#personal#tdl#vent
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Okay maybe it’s my frontal lobe developing on speed run rn but a lot of English speaking subbed anime fans are saying some ableist ass shit when talking about how much they hate dubbed anime
#cuz every time I see a dub clip on insta many of the first comments I see are about how it sucks and Japanese is better#and this usually gets followed by ‘you need to go back to kindergarten to learn how to read’ like excuse me????#many of us can read just fine but watching subbed anime can be difficult#so just fuck the blind weebs huh? fuck the blind weebs? fuck the weebs with bad vision. fuck the dyslexic weebs#and just fuck the weebs who can’t even fucking see the subtitles because so much anime that’s popular had a lot of white/bright colours#and half the time these subs don’t have a thick enough boarder to stop the words from getting blurred#and that’s just the people with vision issues and dyslexia. some people just like to watch things in a language they understand#some people got attention issues and will watch anime while doing something else at the same time#sometimes I’ll even see some drop the r slur like damn bro#like fuck off and let my blind ass enjoy anime in peace cuz dub fans never act like this#we used to be a proper society that used yellow subtitles and now we have these fuck ass white ones#like how do you expect me to watch my happy marriage or mha subbed when I can’t even see the subs that pop up in h the dub????#cuz after an episode or two of subs my eyes and head start to hurt but this only happens with the white subs#give me yellow coloured subs and I can see so easily and have a swell time watching sub#cuz rn I’m in the middle of watching demon prince enma on tubi and I’m having a swell time having such visible subtitles#and honestly they should bring yellow subs back or add that sexy semi transparent grey box to put the subs in#cuz I don’t only have a hard time seeing subs for anime. I have a hard time with kdramas too#so I barely watch the popular ones that people recommend which are mostly in a current timeline#I can only see subs in these dramas when it’s for a historic drama and that’s cuz they’re very colourful compared to ones set in workplace
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i’m not trying to be mean but people who say stuff like this piss me off so bad it’s not even funny anymore 😐 can we just enjoy a movie even one time. can we just sit down and enjoy tangled. must we do this kind of thing every time we watch a disney princess movie…
#idk. clap if you love problematic age gaps in fiction#you can’t even give me the argument that because tangled is for kids it’s Actually Problematic#i promise you. kids watch tangled and think rapunzel and eugene are the same age. because it doesn’t fucking matter#kids find out rapunzel is turning 18 and think that’s sooooo old and mature anyway who even gives a shit if you grow up and realize that was#not true. also why do we apparently know how old eugene is. is he not like. a mere 1-3 years older than her. we’re making up shit to get mad#about now huh. i have to delete this app again soon wow
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beaut 🐎 🍂
#new car!! but I’m mourning my old one#I’ve cried twice about it pls#sentimental to a fucking fault#everyone should start out with a used little car with a cd player she was so beat up but so loved#cars been there for the last six years through so many moments#happy and sad and tears loss and laughter#she held up and protected us through so much#so many deep talks and star watching and laughter in that car#so much damn food eaten in there (and spilled)#bared witness to a lot but she needed more work than I could do and it was time#I would’ve made my friend take her if I knew I would be this sad about it#it’ll get easier though just feels like a loss of a friend right now#they said she was going to auction not destroyed so maybe she'll be someone else's first car#new babe is badass she’s so beautiful#will fill her with memories too#she can’t ever replace her but I love her already and I’m excited for all the adventures we’ll see together#right in time for fall too#have to decorate her and put love into her like the other#idk how to act with a brand new car my other one had like 125000 miles like huh!#my radio didn’t even work (again)#| miss her little crusty ass!!!!!#here's to a new season though of change and growth and feeling safe out there 🖤🧿#(almost got a green one but it wasn’t the right shade in the sun) but she was pretttty#saw the most delicious green one with big olllll tires maybe in the future
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Oh I REALLY wish Reo wouldn’t say he likes older women immediately after saying that in KINDERGARTEN his teacher confessed to him 🙂
#what the fuck#like I can’t even get on board w this#bc now it’s legit trauma#cracked open the book and I’m like huh#blue lock#bllk#reo mikage#bllk reo#like I’m ??#is she dead? in jail?#do his parents know bc like AT THE VERY LEAST#they would get her fired#oh that’s so gross#I hate!! how men will say the most traumatic shit#LIKE ITS NORMAL???#nagi literally living alone all by himself#baby#that’s parental neglect#rin parents ass too bc if your kids don’t get along that’s solely your fault#isagi and bachira are the only ones who have good parents I fear??#oh Chigiri too
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Dude I’m just trying to talk to someone why is my brain attacking me with headache beams. Leave me ALONE!!!
#I’ve heard that like switching with alters can cause headaches but that’s not what we were doing I was just trying to converse. damn!!!#why can’t I just have a nice friendly chat. huh#I even took pain medicine earlier for another problem what the fuck
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trudging through this actress’s clearly self-written wikipedia page full of radio and commercial credits hoping to see she’s a lesbian in her personal life section just to find that she divorced a guy for “irreconcilable differences” and is a natural brunette
#why did kissing that girl come so naturally for you in my dream then? HUH????#i need to be let out of this house.#also not to go big lebowski but i bought a fucking rug!!!!! to tie the room together!!!!! how many times do i have to learn#not to plan ahead!!!! good god#it’s not even here yet T_T whatever at least i didn’t unpack my stuff#LISTEN MAN I’LL ONLY READ YOUR BOOK ONCE I GET SOMEWHERE STABLE ENOUGH TO UNPACK MY SHIT#:/ he saw that i was making a life separate from him didn’t he#i can’t live like this#when i was a kid i had the choice to either get fed enough food or to keep my freedom and i chose my freedom
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that post about how cregan/jace shippers are sexist and that “they think two men together isn’t cheating on baela….which is something alright” is just unfiltered homophobic reasoning for disliking a ship being reblogged thru this fandom uncritically lmao.
“two men together isn’t cheating on baela” as in, there is no possible way for cregan and jace to get married or for jace to properly end his engagement to baela to marry a man, because men cannot marry men and a crown prince certainly cannot publically take up with another man in lieu of having heirs. cregan/jace takes a situation that is straight up “jace cheats on baela” to “jace finds out he likes men and it complicates his whole life” and people specifically define it as “not cheating” because it’s this feeling of “if they make you cheat, it’s not cheating.”
gay couples have been forced to “cheat” for literally thousands of years, and have been labeled as untrustworthy, incapable of love and only lust specifically because every queer relationship until recent history was often “cheating” and ignoring that just so you can dunk on a ship you dislike is homophobic. like, you simply cannot conflate jace having an affair with a woman to jace falling in love with a man, those are different situations socially, culturally, and legally, that is the baseline of how homophobia works. the fact that jace/cregan is fundamentally a different dynamic bc it’s two men cannot be denied just bc you dislike the ship. obviously having an affair is cheating no matter what the context, but the same way that like, naerys having emotional affairs bc she’s being abused isn’t the same “cheating” bc she has no social power, jace falling in love with a man is treated as “not cheating” bc jace and cregan do not have the social, cultural, or legal ability to be together the way a man and a woman can. it’s also wildly homophobic to get mad about an incredibly obscure ship online that a bunch of gays glomped onto in a series that is wildly heterosexual. like,,,, what does my preferring the idea that jace is bisexual and falls in love with a man have on you, sara snow, the show, or the books? honestly???
YOU HAVE CANON. that is the thing, no matter how i feel about it as a queer person, heterosexuals always get canon, they always get the win in the end, they always get the pretty romantic shots and the aesthetics and the power and the storylines and they get to be the heroes and the hidden princes and what do i get?? i get loras tyrell, who in the books may or may not be dead after watching his lover get kinslayed by a shadow, and who gets religiously tortured for his sexuality until he blows up in the show. i get oberyn and ellaria, one of whom gets their head smashed in and the other of whom gets to retire to be a widow for the rest of her life. in fire & blood i get rhaena, who spends her life miserable and then dies alone. you get sara and baela and jaehaerys and alysanne and every aegon and rhaenyra and alicent and sansa and arya and jon and dany - except when she’s using her handmaiden as a living vibrator and dreaming about men of course - and tyrion and cersei and jaime and brienne and and and and
IF I WANT JACE IF I WANT ONE CHARACTER WHO DOES IT HURT? seriously, but fuck you if you think that little “it’s still cheating if it’s jace-cregan ya know, you misogynists” is some sort of progressive, non homophobic stance. it is legal to discriminate against me in the united states and my very existence is considered a threat to children, i will take jace, a character i relate to, and i will rub my gay little hands all over him in fandom because THAT IS ALL I WILL EVER HAVE and you can fucking sit there and drink your juice box about it.
#hotd#house of the dragon#jacaerys targaryen#cregan stark#jacegan#i am literally shaking with anger that i had to see that. y’all have no goddamn empathy for us queers huh#can’t even ship stuff in fandom without y’all deciding we’re actually evil sexists who hate women for wanting to see ourselves in our media.#getting on my soap box#me shit talking people in the tags#like if u don’t even like jace what the fuck do you care if i want him to be bisexual???
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seeing people “blaming” certain pride flags on gen alpha “tiktok teenagers”on here is hilarious because every time i’ve seen it it’s always been for flags that were made by either millennial or gen z bloggers (gay man flag, pan flag, agender flag, etc.) right on Tumblr
like. girl. you have BEEN at the devil’s sacrament. shut up
( worth noting that i don’t know a single flag in widespread use which was made and published on tt originally, but this site tends to pump them out once every 2-4 years on average)
#dis.txt#there was a HUGE boom of pride flags from here for all of the 2010’s and there is STILL a vibrant flag-making community#i know i’m a massive nerd about flags so that’s my initial angle but the ageism + thinly veiled bigotry#eg. ‘’these STUPID gay/trans KIDS made this SHITTY flag i hate. unlike My Favorite 2010s Tumblr Flag’’#is also very bad! i just think it’s hilarious how little people know about flags in general before saying the most heinous unsourced shit#then again i bet half of these people can’t even identify the flags of other countries/know what they stand for. they don’t actually care!#i don’t think it’s a hot take to say that the modern internet would have been SO evil towards Monica Helms/Gilbert Baker/et. al-#had they released those flags today. i mean jesus christ the trans flag literally has ‘’blue for boy and pink for girl’’ which is ~Evil~…#and tbh the cringest thing ever is that a lot of flag creators seem to have openly gone ‘’stop dogpiling people and doing this shit’’#but it still fucking happens…… we love eating ourselves alive over very inane (and often FAKE) shit while we’re getting beaten 2 death huh#whatever sorry mutuals for flag autism on main i just wish people would do A Single Google Search
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nearly started crying and having a panic attack over the smell of the laundry detergent my sister uses how y’all doing tonight
#fuck. fuck.#might relapse again just for funsies who knows who even cares rn it’s not like it’ll be bad tm#…man been a while since I had a spiral about this like I should go back to therapy but it’s sure been easier without it again#he fucking ruined me I want absolutely nothing to do with him -> having nothing to do with him means hurting or losing people I care about#-> he still continues to ruin me to this day no matter how much I try and I fucking hate it -> does he even remember or care or what is it#-> what kind of sick fucking freak does that in the first place and then stays in the same place -> why can’t I go back in time and say smth#properly before it just blew out into the situations it is today -> god how am I even still here and breathing -> etc#like. what are you meant to do with that. what do you do when he’s still right there and the costs have never been greater#all this over laundry detergent huh
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You ever look at a post and think to yourself that this is the third time now that that specific person’s post feels suspiciously like a subtweet? What a fun feeling to have! Definitely not making me want to scream right now :)
#make it 4 I guess#nice self report btw how did you know I was talking about you?#i’ve made posts about at least five fandoms and one of them is STAR WARS so how did you know it was about you?#unless you know I had valid reason to suspect it#since I know you’ve seen this already now:#imagine subtweeting your friend#real nice thing to do#because they should know how this will come across#i dont even care that its probably not a subtweet#if you dont wanna upset people how about you think twice before posting huh?#yes this is the second time I’m subtweeting someone which is hypocritical of me#and I hate it#but I can’t prove anything so like what am I supposed to do here?#so call me a hypocrite#if you don’t wanna be subtweeted then dont fucking subtweet people#it’s really not that hard#i don’t care whether it was about me or not#it was about SOMEONE#and those tags sure are specific#they sure do remind me of some fun little details I’ve written into my stories#as much as I hope they’ll miss this post#i’m kind of hoping they’ll see it#and know it’s about them#how do you like being subtweeted huh? not so fun on the other side is it?
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man idk
#not really about anything but about everything#just feeling a Way#and typing a post is an outlet#but it’s always so complicated bc while I feel the need to express my feelings I also don’t#intend to make anyone concerned#and yet if I don’t want people to be concerned why do I feel the need to express negative emotions so strongly?#the mortifying ordeal of being known or whatever#well idk. I want to be known and maybe even cared about#but I don’t want to hurt anyone#I guess thats ultimately what my Feelings are about huh#the fact that if people care about me I will hurt them when I hurt#that I want to be loved but I can’t bear the guilt of it#i can not survive without others caring for me#but I can not protect them if they do#but if I push them away I still hurt them#thus the serpent devours its own tail#I am too selfish to wish no one loved me and too much a martyr to let them#but I don’t know if I can change#it’s so fucking hard#vent post#456 words#negative
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man the thing about doing the temple of bhaal first is that durge is speaking from experience huh
#‘‘reject the safety of power. it’s not worth losing yourself’’ says the person who has just Been There all of two days ago#to the person who is struggling with this now in real time#who KNOWS that they were just there.#because he was there when they were. he saw.#just. the freight behind it!!#it caught me too in a smaller way. telling the children that you know it will be okay is Something.#and also just that. the *you trusted me when it was an objectively stupid thing to do* going BOTH ways#just. holds him gentle. as though that’s not what you just did for durge??#the. camp conversations after each one.#‘‘but somehow by your side; i still only ever saw you’’ / ‘‘but you saw something in me - someone else i could be’’#why are these two the same. why does it keep Fucking Me Up that they’re the same.#i just. POINTS at that.#THEM.#ANYHOW. WELL. JUST. I.#CAN REPORT BACK FROM THE FRONT THAT I WAS NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THE CAZADOR FIGHT#i think everything about THAT SCENE^tm that can be said HAS been said so i will!! mostly just shake my fists at neil newbon and yell a LOT!!#there is NO emotionally preparing for ANYTHING in that sequence of events huh#can’t even make a proper goddamn post becuase there’s just so no preparing. i just have to Live Like This.#and#don’t do these quests back to back you’ll just emotionally ruin yourself ;-;#(actually DO do these quests back to back like that. don’t you want a little emotional damage.)#bg3#the paranoid android speaks!
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