#I hate!! how men will say the most traumatic shit

[saitamastamaticsoup]

Oh I REALLY wish Reo wouldn’t say he likes older women immediately after saying that in KINDERGARTEN his teacher confessed to him 🙂

[envolvenuances]

like it's not that people particularly like me or respect me. torn opinions on whether I am a self hating bisexual repressing my attraction to men or a self hating lesbian repressing my truth (I am a confident bisexual women with a preference for other women and enough age to admit men didn't make me happy). but I am taken more seriously and the reactions (especially from the neoliberal rebranded homophobia crew) are less aggressive. almost like I passed the ritual served my time as an object to men. a concerning amount of people on every social circle and political opinions still seem to believe lesbians have to "just try it" "just to be sure". otherwise they are either infantilized as eternal virgins who never reach complete womanhood. or vilified as fetishist predatory towards women in what is so obviously mere punishment for their complete proud and certain rejection of men. everyone is so lesbophobic it's unreal

[busket]

gravity falls rant, cw sexual assault and harassment

seeing the gf fandom do a full 180 on billford is so odd to see and kind of infuriating because I had so many nasty rumors and lies spread about me in 2015-2018 because I liked them as bitter exes. a callout google doc was made and I never read it, but I know it framed me as a creep and an abuser. all because I thought a cartoon nerd and a triangle had a fascinating dynamic that was dark and compelling

in 2017 or 2018 someone sent like 70 messages to my curiouscat just repeating RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST over and over again. I'd never even had sex at that point, and I had just cut my dad out of my life for actually being a pedophile and a rapist. so that was traumatizing! that really hurt me!

I also know it was because I had a NSFW account where i drew porn (i was an adult, i was clear i only wanted adults following me. and I still do draw nsfw, I'm not ashamed of that now but these folks made me ashamed of it for years) that included some porn of trans men, like Stanley or Stanford as trans men (NEVER together bc I've always been staunchly against incest or pedophilia ships) and these people framed me as a transphobe and a transmasc fetishist

well obviously I'm a trans man now and I didn't know it at the time but those drawings were a way to explore my own relationship with gender. I even look like Stan and Ford now, obviously i latched on to them as trans men because I wanted to BE them. but I believed it when people called me a piece of shit, I assumed all trans people would despise me too and I'd committed a horrible sin and it forced me back in the closet for another 5 years.

the people doing this were teenagers at the time, a few I thought were my friends/mutuals, and they made that part of my life kinda miserable. I was already miserable with other shit going on in my life. I ignored most of the harassment to make myself uninteresting and to avoid the possibility of becoming a lolcow but it involved anonymous messages both on tumblr and curiouscat, I even got a few emails just mocking me. even in 2019 when some people were like "oh yeah she's moved on to moomin, this is what her art looks like now, I can't look at it without thinking about how much she loves rape :/" which was NEVER true!!! I liked Ford and Bill as bitter exes but it was always consensual in my mind.

Anyway I don't ever expect or even want an apology. I'm sure they don't realize what an effect that harassment had on me during literally the darkest years of my life. to them they were just teasing a weird girl on the internet for fun, or very seriously warning their friends against whom they'd been lied to about being an abuser, but I was a closeted trans man trying to finish college, my home life was abysmal and abusive, I hated myself, i hated my body, my only friends were online, and when I'd log on for some escapism I was met with another message like "hey, you should block this person. they're saying some really cruel things about you on their account. I know it's not true but it looks like some people are believing it."

gravity falls was so important to me as a show since oregon is my home and it felt so authentic to my own childhood being interested in cryptids and going camping and visiting shit like the Oregon vortex as a child. but the fandom was the worst I've ever been in. it ruined my enjoyment of media online for years. so idk. I guess I feel somewhat vindicated but it would also be nice to get those years back and not be harassed and bullied online about something so stupid and unimportant

[missmastectomy]

This is a vent post more than anything, but honestly? Despite the lip service I see a lot of gender criticals give to detransitioners, ime the Average Joe is a lot more likely to sympathize with detransitioners and to see us as fully fledged human beings. People who don’t know anything about the trans discourse aren’t ideologically involved and they’re more likely to approach us individuals first.

I’ve noticed a LOT of gender criticals and radfems basically view detrans women as “traitors” and assume the absolute worst about our motivations. I have literally seen radfems say shit like “well, I could never trust a detrans woman because she transitioned because she hates women and secretly wants to dominate me/rape me/enact misogyny on me,” radfems acting like transition ruins a person and that it’s impossible to ever come back from that. As if there aren’t literally women who used to hold all kinds of problematic/misogynistic beliefs who eventually snapped out of it.

For all the talk about how women need only be biologically female to be women, I’m convinced a lot of the most adamant GCs don’t see us as women. They literally just see us as gender freaks. They have this image in their mind of us as this weird in-between female, separate from the real women.

It’s so incredibly insulting. These people have a caricature of detrans women in their head. I highly doubt most have ever even met a detrans woman irl. It’s so stupid because most detrans women are very clearly female after they’ve been off hormones a few years. I’ve literally known women who were on hormones for years and I had no idea because they sound and look typical. Like, when I first detransitioned a lot of people thought I was male, but now I am gendered female and deal with the same shit as any other woman. And no, not every detrans woman will be able or want to assimilate back into her birth sex, but that still doesn’t take away from her status as a woman.

Detransitioners have literally gone through hell. Where the fuck is all this righteous indignation y’all level at these endos prescribing kids HRT, when you actually talk to someone who went through that? Fuck any GC who treats detransitioners like trash because you lack the basic human empathy to understand that what we went through was abuse. Most detransitioners nowadays started transitioning as children. CHILDREN. Kids who were traumatized, who had already been violated or neglected in some way. We were the ones who got swept up in a massive social experiment and we payed the price for it.

Some of y’all are repulsive. We are human beings, not pawns in your culture war. I see the same crap leveled at detransitioned men, too. Not every detransitioned man was an AGP fetishist that abused women ffs. I also know men who were gay or experienced CSA and ended up pushed into transition as kids. The way people talk to detransitioners and our bodies is disgusting. People calling Jazz Jenning’s SRS shit like a “festering, non-functional fuck hole.” What the fuck is wrong you, that was literally a teenager who was groomed into this is as a 6 year old.

At the end of the day detransitioners cannot rely on other groups, only on individual allies and ourselves. I am thankful for the feminists and GCs who sincerely care about we went through and want justice for people harmed by transition. The rest of you can piss off. Go find another toy to chew on.

[raisedbythetv89]

I just started watching White Collar for the first time and a realization about most male written and directed media smacked me DIRECTLY in the face which is that SO MUCH media written by a for men is genuinely just male nerd self insert, non-canon compliant, AU fan fiction??????

Like them writing and creating stories is just “ok so these guys are soooo smooth and well dressed and women just flock to them at every turn and they can get away with anything and everyone believes and supports them when they do mess up and everyone thinks they’re sooooo brilliant”

This media isn’t just portraying women “for the male gaze” it’s EVERYTHING. Everything in these stories is supporting and uplifting mens’ delusions about who they are, how they’re perceived, and how they should expect to be treated. Which is incredibly ironic because anytime media portrays women or the world in the female gaze in a more “in my ideal world things would be like this” instead of portraying us as nothing but weak, broken, unloved, traumatized, victims OR one dimensional sex symbols with no needs or emotions they’re screaming, crying, throwing up about how stupid and unrealistic the story is….

This explains SO MUCH about how male characters are handled in shows like Veronica Mars and Buffy. Even though they’re shows staring women all the “good guys” get the delusional self insert, y/n, AU fan fic treatment (Buffy still wants Angel in season 3 and Riley in season 6 even after everything they did and Xander is CONSTANTLY forgiven for all the atrocious shit he says and does and is wanted by all women besides Buffy. Veronica forgiving Duncan and getting back together with him and even CONSIDERING Piz could truly only be born from men being delusional AS FUCK. Writing how they want men to be treated by women rather than being based in reality and the woman having even an ounce of self respect.)

Which is why the “bad boys”, Logan and Spike are such better characters. They’re so much more realistic, they get held accountable by the women in their lives, have better growth and are just way more appealing and attractive because they’re not the walking embodiment of what MEN want men to be treated and act like.

Oh god this feels like such cursed knowledge to have like it’s important to see this media for what it really is but now watching it feels that much yuckier like finding the porn of someone you DO NOT LIKE but like their emotional porn “this is what life would be like in my fantasies” and they’re the fantasies of the grossest men alive 😭😭😭😭😭

Also it shows their emotional maturity like all of these things are what 13 year old boys fantasize about not actual mature, grown men….

Also just realized this is why the Star Wars sequels were so hated. It wasn’t just Rey being powerful and loved by her found family and Kylo. It was that the movies showed the reality of men like Kylo. They destroyed the male fantasy Darth Vader created. They aren’t super cool, powerful badasses. They’re extremely sad, broken, temper tantrum throwing lost little boys who just want love and acceptance but have lost the ability to accept it because of the dark side (aka the patriarchy) which is the reality and that made me SOOOOO ANGRY lololololololol and this is why Joss Whedon THOUGHT making Spike into a sad pathetic mama’s boy of a poet would make the audience not like him because that DOES work on misogynistic men who enjoy the male gaze but does NOT work and only humanizes and makes Spike even more complex and lovable to the female gaze 💀💀💀💀 oh good lord

[arceespinkgun]

alright I know you haven't talked about this in a while but you're pretty correct about the way jazzprowl is written usually being weird. One or both of them is always portrayed in a weird offensive way (it's either racist towards jazz, portrays prowl as an ableist stereotype, BOTH, and MORE)

I agree with this. It took me a while to think of what I could add to this and I think I'd also say: it's important for everyone to know that when I see people injecting bonus ableism into fics with these characters in them, Jazz is also normally portrayed as an ableist stereotype (racist as well as ableist)! Whenever Jazz is written as being super disruptive, lazy, and chaotic, or when he's written as super violent and scary and people use terms like "schizo" (I'm sorry but I've seen it) to describe him, these all fall into the overlap between racism and ableism. It's the same bigotry that in the real world results in Black men and boys to be deemed disruptive and violent over their peers. And I probably don't need to say it at this point, but the character Jazz has never been portrayed like this in any media, not even close. And there has also never been canon media where Jazz disrupts an ultra-rigid Prowl into changing anything about himself (and there never should be because that sucks). Hey, is now a good time to point out that in the G1 comics, as far as I can tell Prowl is just one of the many, many Autobots who are massive Blaster fans and they have nothing but positive interactions, and Blaster in those comics actually is a super disruptive, loud, angry, sometimes violent character? I mean, they have to be friends because they both hate Grimlock....

I also think something I haven't discussed as often but is equally important is that we should all be looking at canon with a critical eye as well. If you look at the way some IDW writers like James Roberts, Nick Roche, and John Barber wrote the characters, they utilized a lot of extremely problematic tropes as well. For example, I personally balk every time I see someone saying that Barber did Jazz justice, when what he did to him was make his entire story center on cops and police brutality and barely let him grow or find any community. He also decided that Jazz's backstory would be that he was a beat cop on Cybertron... I think it's bizarre for anyone to look at how Jazz has been portrayed over time and think it makes total sense for that of all things to be his backstory. I'll also just never forgive Barber for writing that issue where he had Prowl point a gun at Jazz's head to get his attention, and had Jazz making fatphobic jokes about Prowl (weird in context for SO many reasons), and also tried to resolve the issue with some kind of friendship moment despite all of that.

Roche, JRo, and Barber also knowingly took every trait Prowl had as a character before their stories—ones easy to perceive as signs of disability—and twisted them into signs of cartoonish evil (I know Barber seems to think he did not write him as a flat evil character, but he's kidding himself). Understandable meltdowns about stressful situations and injustice get turned into a running gag and scary villainy, a lack of social awareness and literal thinking get turned into the most flatly evil dialogue I've ever seen ("You can apologize later," anyone?), a drive to make everything just and fair and better for everyone gets turned into arrogance (Barber, the fact that you wrote this character saying something like, "What's morality got to do with any of this?" means you failed). I especially hate these decisions because these writers also showed a ton of favoritism towards this character. You could feel how much they LOVED making him as revolting as possible while also making sure that instead of facing reasonable consequences he'd always go through the most disturbing, traumatic, worst shit ever so there wasn't even the catharsis of fair consequences... while also giving him tons of prominence.

I say all of this because both canon and fandom works should be examined critically and that IMO it's not only a good idea to not make things worse in fanworks, but also probably a good idea to go along with the better parts of canon and not the super problematic parts.

[drdemonprince]

most of my experience with the idea of transandrophobia or any specific hate towards trans men mostly came from a lot of the harm the “irreversible damage” book did to me as a teen and the harassment i saw a lot of transmasc youtubers go through. i don’t know if maybe i was just in a particular place on the internet where that was much more relevant but i think that rooted a lot of, idk, paranoia? in me? i’ve never compared my oppression to transmisogyny or believed that trans men were more harmed than trans women in any way, it’s always been like a next to but separate concept in my head, i suppose

So first let me say that Irreversible Damage and its ilk are HORRIBLE and the detrans TERF movement so thoroughly fucked me up. SO much. See my piece "My Dalliance with Detransition" for more on that.

I do not think that's transmisandry though. It's transphobia. And an attempt to recruit transmascs into the TERF detrans cult. They use corrective therapy tactics. (The group Health Liberation Now does a great deal to blow the whistle on this).

It's the same as ex-gay shit. That isn't misandry either. It's homophobia. I think people discount how bad homophobia and transphobia can be? People need it to be this special gendered locus of oppression these days. But those two things just really are that horrible. It's traumatic and manipulative. And they try to recruit us to use us as a cudgel against trans femmes. Doesn't mean we don't have it hard. But wanting to make us compliant footsoldiers is different from what they want of trans women, which is eradication.

[cocklessboy]

Bafflingly, some of my posts are yet again getting notes from terfs and transphobes, so once again, here is a reminder that:

I am literally trans and extremely happy about it. Love being trans and injecting myself with testosterone and being hairy and having a deep voice and being called "sir" by strangers. It fucking rocks.

Trans rights and let people do whatever they want with their bodies and gender presentation forever.

Men are great, I love men, they are not evil or inherently dangerous.

Penises are not inherently dangerous.

Women can have penises and men can have vaginas and anyone can have any combination of genitals and it's none of your business what they have.

Trans men are men, trans women are women, nonbinary people are nonbinary, people's gender is whatever they say it is and I don't care how many times they change it.

Trans women are great, I love trans women. I love all trans people but trans women get a special shout-out because they really seem to have to put up with the most bullshit, hate, discrimination, and violence. I am giving every trans woman who wants one a hug and/or a fresh-baked cookie and telling you how beautiful you look.

Yes, every trans woman is beautiful, this transcends cultural ideas about what is attractive, they are all inherently beautiful.

Intersex people are fucking awesome too by the way, whether they're trans or cis or don't think of themselves in either of those terms.

No one is giving the surgeries you're all so afraid of to typical trans kids, but they sure as fuck are doing them on literal babies who were just born if they are visibly intersex and that is some fucked up shit and needs to be banned everywhere forever.

Conversion therapy is just torture, doesn't work, does immeasurable harm, and should be banned in every circumstance everywhere in the world forever. (That also includes conversion therapy for autistic kids, typically called "ABA therapy," just while we're on the topic.)

People can fuck around and explore gender and try something and decide it's not for them and transition and detransition and retransition and redetransition as many times as they want and that's all fine and cool.

Dysphoria is not a necessary part of being trans, you can be trans without dysphoria. Gender euphoria is more important than gender dysphoria.

Medical transition is not a necessary part of being trans, you can be trans without hormones or surgery.

Not all trans people know they're trans as children. Some of us don't figure it out until we're much older. (I was 35!) It doesn't matter when you realize you're trans, it's still valid.

Ignore whatever other people say about who you "really" are and whether you're "allowed" to be that. You are whatever version of you makes you feel the happiest with yourself, end of discussion.

Gender can also change. Genderfluid people are real and valid and awesome.

Trans people are in no way inherently a danger to children. While we're at it, neither are drag queens, I love drag queens too.

Misogyny is inherent in our culture and we are all touched by it but we can choose to fight against it, and that includes transmisogyny.

Medical misogyny is real and it sucks and we need to fight against it. (So is medical racism and medical fatphobia and all kinds of other discrimination.) These are structural problems caused by the way doctors are trained and not the result of men being evil. Female doctors are frequently just as bad or even worse in how they treat female patients.

Toxic masculinity is real and baked into our culture but it is not an inherent aspect of men or masculinity itself, it is something we are taught growing up, it can be unlearned, and we can fight against it.

Men are not inherently bad or dangerous, and if you hate all men you should genuinely get some therapy and work on that. Yeah, even if you were traumatized by a man, that doesn't mean they're all bad. The vast majority of them are good and awesome.

If you have been so badly traumatized by a penis that you can't handle seeing one, then I am genuinely sorry to hear that, but it is on you to avoid any place where people might be naked, and not on literally half the human race to hide themselves from you.

Women can also be aggressive, violent, and abusive. They are not all inherently pure and gentle and nurturing.

Most women are good too though, just like most men. People are mostly good!

Gender is not a binary but neither is "biological sex." Your third-grade education in biology was, believe it or not, extremely simplified, because you were a child, and does not reflect actual reality. If you can't face that, then I guess you are still a child, no matter how old you are.

Feminism is about how women are as good as men and can do everything men can, not about how women are weak and soft and men are better at everything. That's sexism, you're doing sexism, not feminism.

Fuck terfs, transphobes, radfems, "gender criticals," or whatever the fuck else you're calling yourselves these days when you realize once again that everyone hates you so you change your name to try to make yourselves sound like you're not a small, sad group of conservative extremists that, again, everyone seriously fucking hates.

Focusing on helping the people you love is more important and productive than focusing on punishing the people you hate, so once more: trans people are fucking awesome and I love every one of us.

Trans rights forever.

In the words of the legendary @drchucktingle, love is real. Now get out there and prove love and make your world a little brighter today.

Terfs please out yourselves in the notes so I can block you. 💖

[punkeropercyjackson]

Literally cannot put into words how much i hate bisexual Percy Jackson hcs.It NEVER uses guys who're actually good enough for Percy and just narrows in on the ones she hates instead and rightfully so on her part seeing as she's only 18 and they were all grown from the start of the saga and as a young adult too,she shouldn't be dating anyone over 23 with her current age,much less someone who she hasn't actually interacted with when grown as she is now and sorry to have to break it to you but all 'evidence' you use to say she's 'canonically super into men' is taken out of context deliberately

Her describing Ares as 'handsome,i guess' was a backhanded compliment about how he fits so much into male attractiveness standards she finds him offputting and she says 'but wicked' afterwards and 'cruelest,most brutal face she'd ever seen' beforehand which confirms this.Her calling Zeus' expression 'proud and handsome and grim' is a common familial thing said about older family members.She straight up said Mr D is 'not that handsome' and that Hermes nose 'isn't that big' that implies she thinks it makes him ugly.She uses the 'handsome,i guess' line a second time about Annabeth's dad followed by 'for an older guy' so it's canon she dosen't find older men hot.This applies to Apollo too since she never calls his conventional hotness a good thing and instead uses it to emphasize what a loser she thinks he is and that he creeps her out.And for Luke,y'all's 'defitinive proof':The only instence of her implying he's attractive to her is 'not at all handsome' when he betrayed her so any potential crush was lost on her part after the whole college aged man beating on an extremely lonely 12 year old he'd groomed into trusting him incident

The only instance of her showing legit textual attraction to boys is her best friendship with Jason and the most standout example is her being in a dreamy dazed state as she compares him to Superman.I know you guys hyperfixate on the blonde part but the truth is anyone with reading comprehension can tell you his positive and healthy masculinity a la Superman's is what actually made her flustered and there's a reason she never compares him to Luke or Annabeth throught their many interactions,it being Percy dosen't have an actual type unless we count people who treat her well and saying 'she has a thing for blondes' is factually incorrect because her loving Rachel was canon but no blonde crushes except Annabeth were.Another thing that IS canon is that Percy considers Luke's treatment of her to be traumatizing and further proof that adults ain't shit and what inspired her to be better to troubled kids like she used to be than them as we see with Nico and Hazel and her being their punk mentor and pseudo-mom instead of a fascist and pedophile

You're wondering why i used she/her for Percy?Because she's extremely femme trans woman-coded and THAT is a queer Percy you can say is canon since unlike the bi one,official material never referred to her as 'tragically cisgender' so it's free game and more in-character and better writing than using her as a prop to prove how good your faves because look,the objectively best character in the series was drooling over him,you HAVE to love him too!!!Percy's attracted to men but only the ones who actually deserve her,always has been,always will be.Maybe you should stick to Harry Potter and Marauder's Era if you don't like it

[cursed-man-prayers]

High Infidelity is about Miss Americana.

Notes before we begin: First, I can’t post screenshots from the doc bc Netflix, but I have pulled direct quotes and rewatched scenes over and over as I wrote this analysis. The more I watched, the more this theory made sense.

Second, while I obviously don’t know what Taylor Swift’s relationship with her dad is like, the clips in Miss American plus the song tolerate it are enough to convince me that he’s not/wouldn’t be accepting of Taylor being queer. There’s a reason she’s a mama’s girl. This is a Scott Swift hate account.

Let’s begin

Verse One

Lock broken,

A common interpretation of this lyric is the invasion of privacy that is someone reading your diary/journal. Having a locked diary is also something most common with young girls (only girls get privacy, sorry lads), and in Miss Americana, the first diary that Taylor shows in the first scene while she says the first words of the film is a diary that has a lock, and there’s also a closeup of another diary with a lock, as well as the words “bitch session.” There’s also the very common trope/reality of parents reading your diary. Speaking from personal experience, this can genuinely be traumatic, especially taking into consideration the next two words.

Slur Spoken

Seeing as Taylor is a white woman, I genuinely don’t know how else this can be interpreted besides a homophobic slur being spoken. $!u and b*!tch are derogatory, but that’s not the same thing as being a slur. Also, I’m not going to justify the “she’s talking about slurring words while drunk!!” interpretation bc that makes less sense than thinking the slur is “whore.” (I think the diary I mentioned that says “bitch session” is further proof that Taylor doesn’t consider ‘bitch’ to be a slur, even though she has called out the misogynistic way men use it in music.)

Wound open, game token

The person who is breaking this lock and speaking this slur and opening this wound is using Taylor’s pain as a means to get a prize. “You play stupid games you win stupid prizes” (MAATHBP), “You knew you won, so what’s the point of keeping score?” (hoax).

I didn't know you were keeping count

In the Man music video, during the tennis match, Scott Swift is playing the scorekeeper. This line is repeated multiple times in the song. The context of the repetition does change and develop throughout the song.

Rain soaking, blind hoping

I think this refers to the Lover era and how Taylor was not able to come out (specifically that video where she’s talking about ME! and looks sad as shit). I think it’s also a reference to Midnight Rain, rain being a metaphor for unexpected, unseen change, and also the isolation of staying hidden.

You said I was freeloading / I didn't know you were keeping count

As someone with a dad, I can confirm that this is very dad-coded. Like, I can’t think of a context in Taylor’s life where a romantic partner would’ve said this to her, especially considering how idk, rich and successful she’s been since she was a teenager? While I don’t think her dad would ever be justified in saying this to her either, it could be a reference to him throwing his role in her career in her face, the way we see in Miss Americana.

Chorus

This is where things come together in terms of being about Miss Americana.

High infidelity / Put on your records and regret me / I bent the truth too far tonight / I was dancing around, dancing around it

In order to produce a consumable product (the Lover journals) around her and her art, she had to dance around the full truth. The entries were meticulously chosen and most likely edited. In Miss Americana, the segment where she “comes out” as a democrat feels like it might’ve been a different kind of coming out story, especially when you factor in the creation of You Need To Calm Down. It comes across as extremely personal, and while there are multiple factors leading to the experience being emotionally charged for Taylor, I do think that her own queerness is one of those factors. The entire documentary feels like she’s dancing around a bent truth.

Put on your headphones and burn my city

Putting on headphones is shorthand for ignoring someone. “Burn my city” in the context of how Taylor equates her (former) lover with *a certain city* feels like an indication that the subject of the song did something to sabotage and burn down the relationship. I think this is a reference to how her career and the people controlling it (such as her father, but others as well) ruined the love she’s been singing about since reputation.

Your picket fence is sharp as knives

This also goes back to Midnight Rain (“my town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences”)

I was dancing around, dancing around it

Taylor has used dancing as a literary device throughout her discography. I believe it’s typically a metaphor for queerness.

Post Chorus

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

This goes back to the diaries from Miss Americana. This is Taylor being confronted about a journal entry from an April 29th where she wrote something gay. When *her dad* saw it, it led to a slur being spoken.

Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

This refers to the segment in Miss Americana that is allegedly all about Joe. Call It What You Want plays over a montage of videos filmed by an unseen lover. The only clip actually featuring Joe in the entire film is a single moment where Taylor and Joe look vaguely excited to see each other after one of the Rep shows. The way she wrote and sung this line makes it seem like charting constellations in some dude’s eyes is the last thing she wants to do.

Verse Two

Storm coming, good husband / Bad omen / Dragged my feet right down the aisle

This very much sounds like Taylor being forced to be romantically linked in a traditional, heterosexual way. The storm coming and bad omen are what led to her being pushed into this, likely the media storm that happened in 2016. It ties together the lines about pickets fences and how the rain referenced in the first verse is connected to Midnight Rain, because, as we learned with the very first track on Midnights, Taylor is not interested in 1950’s shit.

At the house lonely,

“To a house not a home all alone ‘cause nobody’s there,” Dear Reader

good money,

“the jokes weren’t funny, I took the money” from YOYOK is just one example of how the money comes at the cost of herself and who she is and her worth as a human being…

I'd pay if you'd just know me / Seemed like the right thing at the time

…but now she’s regretting paying that price, wishing that she could be truly known. It seemed like the right thing, but she’s realizing that it wasn’t. Alternatively, she regrets coming out to her and the price she now has to pay of knowing his love was conditional. She paid the price for being known. Also, during the clips that play during the segment allegedly about Joe, Taylor is singing Call It What You Want, specifically the lyric “At least I did one thing right” which is… devastating in this context. She also says:

But I wasn’t happy in the way that I was trained to be happy…It was happiness without anyone else’s input. It was just, we were happy.

Anyway she doesn’t seem happy anymore.

Pre Chorus

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love / The slowest way is never loving them enough

This creates a strong connection to tolerate it. I feel like this lyric is the thesis of that song. Again, this is a very dad-coded lyric. It’s the slow realization that a parent’s love can be conditional. It’s like when a queer kid comes out and a parent says “I still love you, but…” There’s other contexts where that phrase could exist, but it’s an extremely common queer experience.

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th? / Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

I think this could refer to the narrative of Joe Alwyn being William Bowery (which is suspect at best and criminal at worst). She has to say that Joe helped her write devastating breakup songs like exile and champagne problems to keep up the narrative that they are in a VERY HAPPY relationship.

The next new lyric is in the third chorus and let’s just say I have thoughts about it.

Put on your records and regret meeting me

THIS LYRIC HAS BEEN DRIVING ME MAD FOR THREE MONTHS. In the other choruses she says “regret me,” but she changes it here to be “regret meeting me” in the last chorus. “Regret me” implies regretting the existence of Taylor Swift. It’s the people credited with kick-starting her career (such as her father!!!) putting on your records, a double-entendre for her albums + the awards and accolades she has earned for those albums. But! In this chorus! The lyric is! Regret meeting me! The promo for Midnights focused heavily on “meet me at midnight,” the concept that she would be showing who she really is with the album, so much so that people thought she might be coming out with this album. While I think this lyric is a reference to that narrative and the fear that her fans won’t get her or won’t like her after listening to Midnights, I also think it is about how her dad regrets learning who she really is, and how he therefore IGNORES IT by listening to the albums she wrote about me. This is the only lyric in the chorus that changes, and it’s seemingly such a small change, a single word added to the line, but that’s what makes it so massive. Because why would she change this lyric if not to completely change the meaning of the line? It’s drawing a distinction between regretting someone’s existence and regretting knowing the truth about them.

Oh, there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

And it's never enough, it's never enough

I think the phrasing here implies that Taylor feels like she can never be good enough to earn the love she needs and deserves. This ties it, again, to the intro of Miss Americana where she’s going through her diaries and talks about how her main goal in life was to be a good girl.

Outro

The entire first chorus is repeated, and we have a new perspective.

You said I was freeloading

When it comes to this line specifically, I think it refers to the conversation about Taylor’s desire to speak publicly about politics, in which her dad throws in her face how he hired armored cars, essentially saying that she owes him something. It’s just phrased in an odd way and it makes everyone uncomfy.

I didn't know you were keeping count / But oh, you were keeping count

The repetition of the first chorus at the end of the song implies that this song is cyclical. It’s a loop that she’s trapped in. (If you put this song on repeat and turn up the crossfade, you can listen on a seamless loop). Tolerate It does the same thing. Repetition also draws attention to the lyrics while recontextualizing them. The last lyric (“but oh, you were keeping count”) is this acknowledgment that her relationship with this person was/is transactional.

What about the name of the song?

Okay, I’m convinced the only reason anyone would ever think this is a song about cheating is because of the title. Obviously, the primary definition of the word infidelity is cheating on a romantic or sexual partner. Nothing else in the song indicated cheating. SO. OBVIOUSLY. I GOOGLED. THE DEFINITION. TO SEE. WHAT. AN ALTERNATIVE. MIGHT. BE

unbelief in a particular religion, especially Christianity.

Jesus Fucking CHrist. Taylor Swift has called herself a Christian, and she has also written songs with overt religious themes, typically borrowing from Christianity specifically (Don’t Blame Me; False God; Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve; Soon You’ll Get Better). While I know that you can be queer and Christian, it is not unreasonable to conclude that coming out as queer to a conservative Christian (parent) would be considered a lack of belief in Christianity. Infidelity literally means “unfaithful.” To many people, Christianity and queerness are unreconcilable, to the point that they believe accepting yourself as queer can lead to you going to hell. While they won’t say this outloud, many Christians put “homosexuality” into a higher category of sin, meaning that being queer is HIGHLY UNCHRISTIAN, HIGHLY UNFAITHFUL, HIGH INFIDELITY.

One last thing. Miss Americana was released at midnight PST. Which is 3am EST. High Infidelity is a 3am track. So, yeah.

tl;dr

High Infidelity is about being considered unfaithful for being who you are. It’s about dying slowly because you are not loved (enough) for who you are. It’s about how the lies you’ve been forced to tell have forced you to be unfaithful to yourself. It’s about Miss Americana.

[hecksupremechips]

But really, it’s like. I don’t want to be so obsessive over something so trivial cuz it really just causes shitty discourse at the end of the day. I’m just really really into queer analysis of shit I like and put waaaaay too much thought into it so when it seems like others don’t do the same, or that they’ve done it completely differently than me, it’s like. I get way too hurt by it agdjskl

I think I get way too like. Obsessive when it comes to gender/sexuality hcs for queer characters and I think it all started with people saying Marvin from falsettos is bisexual representation

[gingerylangylang1979]

Carmy is a problematic fuck boi who doesn't deserve Sydney at the moment. But look at how Rick and Michonne turned out.

I really actually don't begrudge anyone who questions Carmy's worthiness of Sydney, shipper or not. Like, I get it. I was ready to drop his ass so many times both seasons. But... this is how these stories go. If you have a traumatized leading man, he's going to make you give him side-eye, you're going to think he's not made for love, and as much as I hate it, you are going to see him be a raging dick and disappointment to the woman he loves... until, he isn't. This isn't me excusing good women being with bad men. This is me explaining the trope of a good men, acting bad, who becomes a good man, acting good, because this woman inspires his transformation. Please note, I didn't say fix. She doesn't do the work for him, she is the catalyst for him deciding to change and she will support him and check him along the way and he will be what she needs in time. That's just how this works folks.

When Rick first meets Michonne, he doesn't even think she's real. His wife just died, a woman who left him with a baby fathered by his best friend, who he had to kill before he killed him. He's delusional, distrustful, hopeless. He sees this woman in the distance who is in dire need and despite his trauma, his instinct is to bring her in. Once in camp, he inspects her in the most intimate way, a way that is way over the top. He is already drawn to touch her. Once she is conscious again he is suspicious, he says he wants her gone, he sets up scenarios that should drive her away... yet, whenever she is gone he freaks out. He will welcome her back each time.

My favorite is when he literally has her at gunpoint because he just made up that she is a threat, and he takes her sword, disarms her, but he still welcomes her back. He just doesn't want her to be able to hurt him. Get it? And we know she's important to him, even if he doesn't admit it, because when their enemy demanded her in exchange for the safety of the rest of the camp, he wouldn't do it. I don't even think he knew why. But he couldn't do it. And even before he actually really knew her, he entrusted her with his most precious love, his child. And when she went out on her own mission, he was sad and worried. He was upset when she didn't need his help.

I could go on. But the point is he treated her like shit and then things slowly changed. By the time they became a couple he went off the rails quite a few times, had a love interest, etc. but the whole time, in the background, Michonne was becoming his partner not only in leadership, but in life. If she was ok, he was ok. If she wanted to make a move, he made the move. If he needed a second by his side, it was her no doubt. And Michonne could handle shit on her own, wanted to for a long time, but then through meeting Rick she decided to let someone in and wanted it, knew she wasn't whole without it. So by the time they became a couple, it was earned by both of them. The both had to change. But before that change, Rick was erratic, insane, often irrational, and he was sometimes that way with her, at one point mostly with her. But it changed. Because that is growth, that is character development, that is good storytelling.

So, when I see Carmy still struggling so hard and Syd struggling so hard at his side, because of him, I remember that this is that kind of love story. It's a love story seeded in the midst of chaos, uncertainty, distrust, but also an undeniable pull to each other that is at times inexplicable, questionable, but fated in a way only two broken people can be. They aren't going to have the kind of love story where he is a perfect prince from day one or his progress is linear. And that makes it better because look at what happened with Richonne. They became co-leaders, family, lovers. It's possible. So, I'm going to continue to be patient with Carmy Bear and see where this goes.

[gwiyeounsonyeon]

out of all the people you write for in cod watchdogs and strangerthings who is most to least kinky

COD i dont think a lot of these men would be diabolically kinky, like they see enough shit on a daily basis, i think they just want to be loved.

BUT-

Konig and Ghost are at the top of the list, they're into some weird shit konig moreso they're both into size difference stuff, like,

ghost cant get over how small you feel in his hands, it turns him on so fast. he covers up for it by teasing you or playfully being mean, bullying your cock if its smaller than his, poking fun at how wet your cunt is when he hasn't even touched you yet, stuff like that...

i also think he might be into bullying or degradation, not to him of course, if you try to bully him he gets all fussy but as soon as the tables are turned hes relentless.

konig LOVES your size difference, i wholeheartedly believe this man is a sub-leaning, he can still dom he just needs to be in the mood for it first but thats pretty rare. so if you're tiny and you can still dom someone the size of him hes head over heals swooning for you. if you top him AND dom him hes actually in love.

hes got some other nasty kinks as well, i can feel it

third place is a close tie between soap and price,

price is super into taboo stuff, it just takes a minute to unlock that side of him. he likes being called daddy and sir and LOVES roleplay

soap is an exhibitionist, you can't argue with me on this one. he pulling you to every little nook and cranny he knows of and having at it. there was one point in his life where he couldn't have sex in normal places like he just couldn't get hard at all unless there was a chance you could get caught.

Stranger Things

first place is Johnathan, youu know that saying i think its like the quiet people are always the freakiest.

hes nasty, i can feel it in my bones.

he LOVES taking photos of you and himself, he gets off on knowing you're probably jerking off to one of his pictures.

slight exhibitionist, he likes going to develop his photos in public dark rooms, the thought of someone seeing one gets him all hot and bothered.

hes kind of into cnc, as far as his photos, nothing more than taking pictures of you without you knowing you've already consented before

next in line HAS got to be eddie, theres someone i cant remember the name of who hc's him as a virgin and i whole heartedly believe it, hes had so much time to just sit and think, hes got so many filthy little fantasies and hes so pent up

he likes being edged, hes only thought about it, every time hes tried he ends up getting too desperate and making himself cum anyway, if its by accident or not.

he gets off on being called a pervert, maybe a freak but only if its in an explicitly playful way, theres a fine line and honestly its better to steer clear of degradation unless he states he wants it outright.

he likes being made to say what he wants, he likes to act confident and stuff but as soon as it comes to actually having sex hes so nervous.

i also think he really latches onto nonsexual domination, not like anything aggressive just if you nonchalantly do something that strikes as dominant in your every day life he starts getting hot and bothered like, telling him to do something "answer the phone, I'm busy" or "move i need to get over there" he likes a man who can assert himself without being overly aggressive.

steve and controversially billy have to be the most vanilla,

as much as i want to say steve is a kinky degenerate, hes not. hes a rich white boy with no parents, he probably just wants to be comforted during sex.

but that doesnt mean he wont try things you want to try, hes open to suggestions you have. the kinkiest thing hes ever initiated would probably be heavy making out along with some frottage in a public bathroom.

billy is heavily traumatized and very like self-repressive and oppressive, he hates himself for being gay and he probably won't let you touch him like that for the longest time.

WATCH DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so excited to get this one, i never get watch dogs asks but i love my babies sm

first on the list is wrench, duh. the guys a fucking degenerate, he wants to try any and everything, no matter what it is.

i think his personal favorites are choking, cameras/filming, wearing women's underwear, and exhibitionism less so in legion

he doesnt like being called or calling you daddy unironically, it gives him the ick if its done seriously.

second is probably jordi. the more i think about it the more i think he might be kinkier than wrench but jori knows what he likes whereas wrench will do anything.

jordis into objectifying, hes not really the kind of guy to turn to a sex worker, i see him as a fuck buddies guy purely because he thinks hes too old/his job is too much to have a real relationship with you but he still acts like your boyfriend and he gets possessive in the way where he stalks you and your socials for more info about that new guy you're hanging out with. he wants to be the only guy you fuck and what he wants he gets.

jordi also favorites rough sex and choking and he likes cumming inside you whether you like it or not.

hes also super into spending money on you but only when it benefits him, he'll whine and complain if you ask him to buy you a charger or something but hes all over buying you like expensive ass lingerie or something

in last place is marcus, im sorry but he doesn't give me kinky vibes, the kiniest hes ever gotten was playing the weekend and turned the leds red while you fucked

[thurio-edau]

im so fucking mad right now. this is a rant post that i will probably delete later on, i just need to yell. mutuals- especially new mutuals that dont know much about me, feel free to ignore. cause this isnt gonna be pretty.

oh my fucking god. i cant believe how low humanity can go. i cant believe how bad shit they can say and think its completely okay. or even worse know the shit theyre saying is terrible but dont care. you can NOT go on a post of a r4p3 victim and say you WANT IT TO BE YOU. do you have ANY IDEA how absolutely jarring, traumatizing, dehumanizing it is ????

i cant believe i had to debate someone. for this. 'but what if i like having my power taken away?' THEN YOURE SUBMISSIVE. THERE'S A FUCKING WORD FOR THAT. you can not compare a normal, basic thing such as being submissive to the most dehumanizing and hurtful act you can do to a human. i hate talking about this but apparently some people are so fucking stupid and insensitive that they cant understand.

'it is normal to sexualize something that is already sexual in nature' NO. NO. JUST NO. r4p3 is NOT an act of sex. it is an act of violence, torture, it is an act of dehumanizing god knows how many times i said that. it's not something you can just call 'non-con' and pass it. no. 'wahh >w<!! i wish someone would r4p3 m-' r4p3 isn't sex. it isnt and never will be. and yes i have legit seen posts like that and people liking and reblogging it. you're just submissive, you do NOT want to be r4p3d. you do not.

i cant take it. what kind of sick bastard are you? each time i remember those posts i want to gag. what the actual fuck. asking people to send them r4p3 threats to get off on. making imagine scenarios where you are r4p3d by several men. fine, you like bdsm or like to be dominated. i have no words for that. but you have no idea what the actual hell r4p3 is. how it destroys a life and kills it.

in here, in my country, recently a 2 year old child died in a hospital. they said the child was 'dropped'. no. the child was molested, TWO FUCKING YEARS OLD. i have read stories about someone telling their own experience that no one believed them, they were getting molested by a fucking adult that lived in their APARTMENT as a CHILD. me, I was SIX FUCKING YEARS OLD.

you dont know what the hell you are talking about. Junko Furuto looks down on all of you in disappointment. all victims of Ted Bundy, looks down on all of you in disappointment. the kids that died in the Red Room, all the past victims that has died. they all look down at you in disappointment.

last words in this rant that i will repeat whenever needed:

trauma is not your fetish. get help. there is something wrong with you.

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: I STILL FUCKING HATE WILL HERONDALE AND HE IS A BASTARD 👏🏼

Will said, “some shadowhunters have always been bastards. My family has good cause to know it.”

well that’s ironic because you’re a bastard but we must be ignoring that? are we ignoring how you’ve treated Tessa in the beginning, all Jem has been through, Sophie’s treatment, literally almost everyone in TID, how you treated Gabriel-

and I don’t care if anyone wants to argue Gabriel but Will threw the first punch. he came after Tatiana, Gabriel’s sister. say what you want about Tatiana (I hate what she did to her brothers) but she was just a child with a silly infatuation. she at the time didn’t know any better and how he treated her was gross and then assaulting Gabriel because of it, and acting as though Gabriel is some ghastly villain, the fuck?

and yes, Gabriel hasn’t always been kind (he’s a sweetheart and I love him ok?????) but he’s not the one who started this feud if you want to call it that. Gabriel owns up to what he did, staying by his fathers side and choosing to be better.

at least Gabriel grows and becomes a better person. I’m not defending what he’s done wrong but I feel like gabriel actually grows and adapts as a character. I don’t see Will changing and to say this statement is humorous and ironic in all

Will has made jokes about the most traumatic experience Gabriel probably had. having to kill his own father. I’m sorry but that’s not a laughing moment??? that’s something I would guess stays heavy in Gabriel’s head. if I were Cecily, I would not be allowing that shit. everyone just accepts this????? if Gabriel made a joke about Will’s father, on the devil, all hands on deck!!!! then Gabriel would be seen as the bad guy. and it’s mainly CC and her writing that do this because she purposely does this thing consistently.

this is part of the terrible and lazy writing of CC. she has men go through things (herondales) and then doesn’t have them own up to what they did wrong. there’s no trying to change, adapt, grow. it’s just stale

Alastair grows a lot in my opinion, Alec slightly grows (it’s still super bad though. he deserves better too.), I even think Matthew kinda grows. literally so many characters grow but who never takes accountability??? majority of the herondales. they’re basically out here “I went through trauma but I will treat anyone how I deem desirable and y’all will accept it”. this is just my personal take on the family and the characters. plus it’s super repetitive because CC keeps doing the same thing over and over again.

it’s tiring honestly. I don’t think Will has ever apologized for how he has treated Gabriel or Gideon (which I don’t think was as bad but I also can’t remember) and his apologies always come off as half ass. also I feel like Tessa kinda settled for Jem because he was sick and they thought he would die anyways??? and that doesn’t sit right with me. but these are just my opinions and takes on these matters

I still fucking hate Will and what he did to Gabriel is unforgivable.

personally I would’ve cut out all the Will stuff in TLH (especially the weird fucking grieving sex he and Tessa love and the abandonment of their children basically) and added more Gabriel and Gideon content. yes im Lightwood biased but it’s not my fault they’re better lmao

let’s see gideon and Alastair bonding, add Gabriel as a parent. maybe have him talk some sense into Anna!!!! see gideon reassuring Thomas that he knows he’s innocent and didn’t kill anyone. see more of Eugenia. once again: IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER

[thenanamisimp]

Danmei and MXTX novels

Would you look at that, another post that's not about anime? WILD. It is about MXTX novels though so the hyperfixations continue. I'm actually in the process of planning a very lengthy analysis of all three of her series but this is a warning, don't expect too much. I was never good at those in school plus it's been almost 7 years since I've last written something like that but I feel so passionate about her works that I really wanna try to share what I thought about the novels. Nevertheless, this isn't actually those analysis posts since those are gonna be separate and will probably be written after I re-read each series. However, since I'm actually finally fully done reading all her series - including the extra side chapters - I wanted to quickly share some of my opinions and how I feel after finishing all 18 of the books.

This goes without saying but just in case - SPOILER WARNING for Heaven Official's Blessing, The grandmaster of demonic cultivation and The scum villain's self saving system novels.

First off, if you haven't read any of MXTX's work before, prepare for trauma and tragedy. Most of her characters are either deeply traumatised already or in the process of. I will always encourage people to read content warnings before reading her books.

Starting off with my favourite - TGCF or Tian Guan Ci Fu (aka Heaven Official's Blessing). This story means a lot to me. I got introduced to TGCF through the donghua before I even knew it was queer fiction and even with censorship, the closet is made of fucking GLASS so I had to look for the source material. Honestly it took me a while to commit to reading the whole series as I've been struggling to pick up books for years now but TGCF actually got me back into reading (I think in total it took me about 8 days to read all 8 volumes). More than just the story telling being good, I got so incredibly attached to every single character (except Jun Wu, he can eat shit - tho the fact I'm even saying this speaks volumes about how well MXTX can write characters. It takes a lot for me to hate a character this much).

Taking place in a beautiful fantasy world, we follow Xie Lian and Hua Cheng through tragic traumatic past and present and we learn of the horrible truths about the lives of immortal beings. We also see two idiots in love take their sweet ass time to confess. I love me a good slow burn full of longing and pining. I eat that shit UP every time and MXTX gave it to me with every single one of her series.

TGCF for me was a journey full of kicking my feet at fluff, second hand embarrassment (because xl I stg, what do you MEAN you were taught how to resist the advances of women but not how to resist hot men you gay lil shit the closet is made of glass) and honestly, lots of crying. The hundred stabs incident, ruoye's creation and hcg's last death made me sob and scream (no exaggeration, I was stomping around my room, crying and yelling GIVE HIM BACK RIGHT NOW).

Also, in a not so unpopular opinion (I think?), Pei Ming is my fave because 1) he's the no.1 Hualian shipper - check the whole Mt Tunglu adventure for proof and also 2) he's just a lil slut with a big heart. I could seriously talk about him forever because I went from hating him after he tried to throw the blame for the Banyue Pass incident on Xie Lian, to loving him after I realised that everything he does, he does because he is truly just a kind man who loves a good fight. He's so silly! Just a lil guy! Go Pei Ming go!

Fuck you Jun Wu. Again. (I hate him just as much as I hate Mahito. Maybe a little less. I really hate Mahito).

Moving on to my second favourite (but honestly it's such a close one), MDZS or Mo Dao Zu Shi (The grandmaster of demonic cultivation). Take a wild guess about how I got introduced to it... Fandom of course, because very few people talk about TGCF online without mentioning MDZS so I just had to give it a chance.

The great grandmaster of demonic cultivation has been dead for a while but when he gets gifted a new body through a not so well known demonic ritual, he runs into an old acquaintance. We learn about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's past and current world of cultivation and hear stories about messy betrayals and conspiracies. Aaaand we find out about some more trauma and tragedy because is it really an MXTX novel without it?

And talk about a rollercoaster because (and please don't hate me for this) I found Wei Wuxian annoying initially.... But it's okay now because I kin him so go figure. Tho I actually kin only his adult self, I was a very introverted and rule abiding teenager, a lil more like Lan Wangji. In any case, wwx is the same stupid chaotic bisexual that I am and he is babygurl. Yeah and what if he murdered 3000 people? It was self defense. THEY ATTACKED FIRST. Your honour, he did nothing wrong and he does not deserve to be punished!

On a serious note, MDZS explores so many themes that are personally important to me, my favourite being the power dynamics of the world. It’s truly moving that even with all the pain Wei Wuxian went through, how far in his cultivation and how powerful he got, he still couldn't protect those he loved (until Lan Wangji of course because Wangxian is perfect together and they always protect and defend each other. Wangxian my beloved). While it might be a stretch for some, it really reminded me of how powerless we are in the world. People aim to educate themselves and go on to do whatever they can to better the world in their own way and yet, it really feels like nothing’s improving sometimes. I could talk about this for hours but maybe I’ll leave that for another time and another analysis post since this is supposed to be a shorter one (lmao)

Last but not least, RZFZX or Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong (honestly this one I use the english name for because I can’t pronounce the chinese as much as I try - The scum villain's self saving system or Svsss). This one I actually kinda struggled with - first of all because WHY BUGS MXTX. Not much bothers me in fiction but BUGS? Too far. Heads with spider legs? Raw flesh with maggots? Blood mites? I was out (for about half an hour and then I kept reading). Please note that it's not the raw flesh that bothered me, it was the fucking maggots. I can read about graphic murder, creepy hauntings, torture and many more but as soon as there are bugs? Nope! I’m done. People have phobias and that’s mine I guess. Enough ranting about bugs!

The story follows Shen Qingqiu, the scum villain of the hit web novel Proud Immortal Demon's Way (or PIDW for short, as it's referred to in Svsss) who is actually one of the original readers - and haters - of PIDW, who transmigrates into the book in order to fix the plot holes left by the original author. With his guide “the system” he does his best to lead the male lead of PIDW, Luo Binghe, down a better path than in the original story.

Svsss employs a comedic way of storytelling, with our protagonist being omniscient, it allows for the narration to be sarcastic and poke fun at a lot of moments that are cliche or badly written, as interpreted by sqq. Honestly, this is just a personal preference but I favour the more serious storytelling way of MDZS and TGCF (give me hurt until the very end when the main characters get together and then give me comfort).

To me, Svsss is a lot harder to analyse as a lot of its themes are unfamiliar to me, especially considering I’m the furthest from having any sort of humanitarian education (I have 2 engineering degrees). Using a story within a story, MXTX is able to deliver two main overarching themes; one about abuse and its results through Luo Binghe as well as one about the relationship of author and their readers, the feeling of being trapped by the readers' opinions and wanting your story to be liked through Shang Qinghua (to be honest, I hadn’t really picked up on this one until I saw discussion about this in the fandom).

If I'm being completely honest, I don't think I grasped this series as well as the other ones and I'm finding it hard to digest lbg and sqq's relationship. I'm unsure as to what it is that's holding me back from loving them as much as Hualian and Wangxian. I do tend to prefer tropes like theirs more than the whole "had to convince him to date me" thing which is what Bingqiu's relationship seemed like to me up until the end of volume 3. It’s also why I'm glad I actually followed through and finished the extras in volume 4 (I was really tempted to stop reading once I finished volume 3 not gonna lie). I believe those to be integral to understanding sqq's feelings towards lbh and while I understand that sqq did actually love lbh from the beginning (denial is a river in egypt and the gloset is made of glass - what the fuck is with MXTX's bottoms and the damn glass closet), I struggled to see the tipping point of where he actually understood his own feelings and what was going on in his head and that he was actually in love with lbh. Which is why I think to really understand Svsss, I would seriously need to reread it.

I also would love to eventually talk about queerness in MXTX's work because in each book, sexuality and queerness is explored and examined in so many different ways. As a queer person myself, it fascinates me as I can relate to so much of it. To be honest, I think I could write a short thesis on just this.

Honestly, while I'm very passionate about my favourite pieces of media (if you've heard me talk about any of my top 5 anime you'll understand what I mean), there hasn't been a lot of things outside JJK and MXTX's novels that have made me wanna dive deep into analysing every single detail. It genuinely makes me feel like I'm gonna implode sometimes. These 3 series have seriously reignited my love for reading. I was shown that a good book - in my opinion of course - doesn't need to avoid difficult topics. It simply needs to use them well as a means of delivering a message and a story, rather than them being included just to be included. They also reminded me that I love queer fiction and I need to read more.

I actually would really like to read Erha (or 2ha or The husky and his white cat shizun) but I've read the content warnings and I'm ~~apprehensive~~. While not a lot of things bother me, I'm not sure I want to read about that stuff (please look at the content warnings of this book, or any piece of media in that matter, especially if you have topics that easily bother or trigger you). Remember, it's our responsibility as readers/consumers to look out for ourselves first!

Please recommend any good danmei (other than MXTX) and possibly include links where they can be read! I would also highly appreciate recommendations for some good wlw fantasy fiction as I really would love to read some wlw novels - or even anime/movies/webtoons/manga. Just in desperate need of quality wlw content.

Also while I said I'd keep it short, it seems I ended up writing over 2000 words…

PS. I proofread this about 5 times and during one of them my file crashed, so if there's any mistakes or if I’m not making sense somewhere, blame my deep-fried brain, thanks

Thanks for reading my novel ramble! Enjoy reading :)

theNanamiSimp