#but I am growing and healing and Yay

[sherwind]

every year I set the new year goal to "definitely start streaming!" and I never get around to it... BUT I never give up, so maybe next year could be the year (spinning) let's see

[angeltism]

okay honestly any time I feel negatively I just tell myself that at least one being finds me complaining annoying and it motivates me to nawt only accept my sad feelings, but get them out in a healthy (?? maybe) way.

With that being said I was reminded of the 100 note post thing I did for the sillies and how fucking good everything was before aaaand now I am mildly upset. Yay!

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies! (2/3)

🌸 @csevet asked:

hi my copy of iyhm just came in and my fiancee and i snuggled up and read the whole thing cover to cover and CRIED!!! i love when lesbians 💕💞💝💗💝💗💘💞💖💗💝

AHHHHH thank you SO much!!! OMGGGGG 🥺 live laugh lesbian..... 💞💗💖💕💖💞💕💖💗

🌸 @chrysalis-the-butterfly asked:

I read If You'll Have Me a few months ago and I loved it! Your art is so pretty and Momo and PG are such cool characters! 🥰 If you're okay with sharing, I'd be interested to hear what inspired you during the creative process? Were there any pieces of media or any other characters which influenced the formation of Momo and PG? Or did you do your own thing?

oh my gosh! thank you!! i really love character interactions and relationship dynamics, so i wanted to depict two girls who seemed like opposites - one cool and laid-back, the other soft and sweet. after a while they started to take on a life of their own, and i thought it'd be wonderful if their story could evoke the feeling of a shoujo romance!

i had a lot of things on my mind when i wrote the script... friendship, intimacy, communication... communication can be so hard! sometimes it's harder with someone you're close to because their opinion is so important to you. and what happens when you've got a character who's non-confrontational and has low self-esteem + someone who prefers actions over words, and would rather burn bridges than admit to feeling vulnerable? how would they get past that? i wanted to write their flaws as believable, and how their life experiences have shaped the way they think about themselves / the way they respond to personal conflict... but also how they learn from each other and grow ❤️ tysm for the question!!

@bisexualgoof asked:

Hi Eunnie! I just finished reading “If You’ll Have Me” and let me tell you, it was spectacular! I saw it in a local bookstore the other day and it was a no brainer to grab. The characters are so fun, the story is beautiful and heartfelt, and honestly every character is attractive… I especially fell in love with the pages of the books without words, especially 312-313, it made me cry. Such beautiful art! I related to PG’s annoyance with her long hair, I felt very seen with her comments. I’ve definitely said “I’d like to forget” so many times myself, right to my butch heart haha. Thank you for sharing this story with the world, and thank you in particularly for your acknowledgment at the end of the book, it made me feel seen. What an amazing love story, hope to see more of this adorable couple in the future!

oh my goodness!! this is so lovely and wonderful and ahhh T_T thank you so very much. it's such a dream, having these girls be out in the world with their personalities and backstories revealed at last! and i'm so happy to hear about the cast and side characters, i love designing people hehe ♥ i'll definitely keep drawing this couple, alongside more sapphic couples that are to come 😍 thank you!!

🌸 @skittles-rainbow-cat asked:

HI HI HI!!! you’ve been one of my fave artists forever and i just got done with iyhm and it’s sooooo amazing im in love with it. also i think strawberry blonde by chloe moriondo fits mono and pg very well :] i hope you’re having a good day and thank you for all your art it heals me in many ways <3333

HIIII omg!!! thank you so much! this song is so cuteeee oh my gosh this line:

Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren’t on Smaller than mine and oh god I am gone

it's so sweet ;_; thank you forever, i hope you're having a wonderful day!! <3 <3 <3

🌸 @lord-of-the-froggies asked:

Howdy Eunnie! I know you're probably swamped with work right now, but I just wanna let you know that I got my copy of your book today!! I'm gonna start reading it right away, it looks and feels amazing. From a fellow Washington artist to another--congratulations on such a huge achievement!

yay hello fellow washingtonian! and fellow artist!! thank you so much for your kind words 🥺 and i'm so glad the book got to you safely! wishing you a happy read~

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

omggg thank you that means so much!!! ;_; <3

🌸 @ddooyoung asked:

I got my (signed!) copy of the book, and I love it SO MUCH. It's everything I was hoping and more. I love finally getting to know them, especially Momo. Since the first time I saw them, I thought Momo was a lot like me and now I have confirmation 😆 Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful story!!! I'm excited for everything you do 💗

WAHH thank you so much!! yesss i'm so overjoyed to finally share their story after so long! i hope the signature turned out okay, i was very nervous signing books for the first time (shaky hand and everything) 😱 i think next time it would be fun to make a custom stamp and stamp a doodle next to my signature hehe. thank you again!!! 💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I somehow missed the news about your having created a whole damn book?? was just flipping through yu & me books's holiday gift guide and did a double take when I saw priscilla and momo!! zoomed in and sure enough, there was your name at the bottom! congrats on ihym and congrats on being featured on rec lists from shops as cool as yu & me 🎉😍

omggg thank you thank you!! 🥰 AHHH yu & me books looks so amazing! i've been to new york just once but if i ever get to go back i have to visit them... i'm always looking for indie bookstores to throw my money at 😤

🌸 Anonymous asked:

1. Will there be an “if you’ll have me” sequel? 2. Is Momo her full name or a Nick name? If it’s a Nick name what is her full name? Thank you i love your work! ❤️😊

ahh there's no sequel planned as of right now! but i'd love to make one if i get the chance... i have some ideas that i think would be fun <3 and momo gardner is her full name! i liked gardner because it made me think of flowers ☺️❤️ thank you so much!!

🌸 @upsidedown-shadow-dreamer asked:

Hello, long time fan here. If You'll Have Me was delivered an hour ago and I've already finished my first read. OMG it's AMAZING. I love the story, the beautiful art, the inner thoughts, the pacing, the page color changes for back story… Just major WOW. I hope you are so proud of this work. I'm already looking forward to reading it again. Thank you!!!

this is sooooo AHHHHH T_T i'm in tears. i can't tell you how happy and thrilled i am to hear this!!! it's so encouraging and uplifting and ahh!! i want to make more stories... and just knowing that this book will be read by the same person more than once, omg! it's truly the highest of praise. thank you from the bottom of my heart <333

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hello!! I just remembered I could borrow graphic novels as e-books from my local library, found IYHM, devoured the entire thing in one sitting, then went through your tags so I could look at all your other IYHM art, and I was wondering if you'll make more stories about Momo and PG because I can't get enough of them! Absolutely obsessed with these two and I love seeing them so happy together 💖💖💖💖

hello!! oh i'm absolutely over the moon about this! i can definitely see myself making a follow-up book if i'm so lucky 🙏 but i'll keep on drawing more minicomics and illustrations no matter what!! thank you so much for this wonderful message 💕💕💕💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

hi!! love love love your art!!! do you think we can expect to see another graphic novel about momo and priscilla in the future?

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I’ve read IYHM so many times already and I absolutely loved it!!!! Are you planning on writing another book with Momo and PG? Is is there a way we can buy more of your stories?

thank you both so much!!!! <3 a sequel is actually one of the ideas i pitched for my second book! my editor cautioned against it in case IYHM didn't perform well, so i ended up going in a different direction - but my fingers are crossed for future opportunities 😤 realistically, it will probably depend on sales... but for the record, i'd want to do one regardless of the numbers...

i have one more book coming out, which i'm working on right now! the timeline is a bit up in the air atm but i'll try to keep everyone posted. making a book is so slow but i'm so grateful to you all for waiting 🥺💛

🌸 @randomqueernoun asked:

Do you make webcomics for other apps/websites? If yes where can I find them and what do I search in them to find your comics?

ahh not at the moment! but thank you SO much for the interest! one of my biggest goals right now is to set up a website where i have all my work in one place, and that would definitely be the place where i post future webcomics 👀

also, just as an aside... i want to make webcomics so bad. i think after my next book, i might take a break from traditional publishing to do that. sometimes i can't believe i'm drawing hundreds of pages i can't post... i'm like, how are people supposed to read this if i can't show them? how will they know?! ahh it kills me... but yes... someday!!!

part 3 to come~

[tiniestkitty]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ how to start an age regression / inner child healing journal ɞ˚‧｡

🌷 content warning: very brief, un-descriptive mentions of having trauma 🌷

1. find a notebook you'd like to use ! this can look different for everyone. I picked a journal at the craft store with a pretty design on the front, but you could also use a simple composition book, a notepad or you could even keep a digital journal ! I personally prefer to have two diaries, one is for everyday boring "big-kid" stuff, and the other one is my agere journal ! ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶꒱ა if you'd like, you can combine them, but i personaly find keeping my trauma-processing stuff off to the side is helpful to me. 💛

2. brainstorm what things you'd like to accomplish with your therapy journal ( if any ! ) and what you'd like to write in it. you could set light hearted goals to reconnect with your childhood, process scary things that happened / everyday stressors , or to just keep it for fun ! remember that you don't need to know everything right away, though ! 🧸

for me, my goals are to understand trauma and learn how to grow from it, but I also like to draw pictures, write about the tinier parts of my day, do some affirmations , and follow simple prompts I find online. I will also use it as a tool to track triggers , trauma responses and anxieties to help myself better understand why I felt that way and know how to ground myself better during those scary moments . I also use it to write down thoughts or things I'd like to bring up with my therapist. ( my parents finally got me set up to see a therapist !! yay ! I am a minor so she is a pediatric therapist so she's extra gentle which is so nice hehe )

3. If you'd like, you can decorate the inside pages and the cover with all sorts of fun craft materials ! I like to use stickers and wash tape, but if you don't have those, you can print some pictures out and glue or tape them in ! If you don't have access to a printer, you could use one for free at a local library or at your school. you can also use markers, crayons, colored pencils, or whatever else you'd like to decorate the inside with fun drawings or to make some little worksheets for yourself to paste inside . maybe if you have someone to look after you or a little friend, you can ask them to come up with some for you to do ! 🩷 I like to make notes for my best little friend, wimsy, through dms hehe ! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ ` ꒱ྀིა

4. you could make lists of things, too ! I like to list my favorite songs, all of my toys names, what I wanna do when it gets warmer outside, anything !

5. I find it helpful to make charts for stuff that can be challenging when having an icky day or feeling mentally unwell, like brushing my teeth or making sure that my pet chores are all taken care of. ( don't worry !! if I forget to give my kitty treats she will ask my mom hehe ! /lh ) I like to use a reward system, like if I brush my teeth two times every day for a whole week, I can have two breaks during homeschool. 🖍️

okie dokie ! that's all I have for now. hope I gave you some good ideas and tips ! this is all very new to me but I hope this was at least a little informative or helpful hehe . 💕🐰

[myhiddenthoughts]

I've reached 100 followers!!

I came to Tumblr to find a place where I could express my feelings about my current heartbreak and feel free to say whatever. And I did not expect I would grow so much in such a short amount of time. It might seem like a small number, but to me, it means everything that at least 100 people enjoy my writing. May you be a loyal liker or someone who just stumbled across my blog, thank you for bringing me some happiness after a hard time in my life.

To celebrate, here's a proper introduction. Hello, call me L. I love to write, and most of these "quotes" are excerpts of my personal poems. My writing usually reflects on my life and how I am feeling, and I hope that someone can relate to it too. Please feel free to ask anything about my process, I'd love to share :) (or just say hello!)

Finally, I will most likely start shifting gears in my writing because I'm finally healing (yay me!). I'll still will probably reference the same thing for a while, but it's also important to grow. So I don't know where this will take me, but thank you for being a part of this journey

All the love,

L

[guiltycorp]

mmm im sort of glad they released arcane survivor jayce skin voicelines in league before act 3 drops because my expectations for it were rising a bit too much lmao... before it i almost convinced myself that yeah, viktor's character arc will lead him to manipulate jayce into transferring his soul to a new mechanical body + focus on a new strategy for 'healing' societal issues that isn't 100% evil and bad (while still having its drawbacks re: will and consent) and fighting noxians would place the zaun side in a better position to bargain with piltover for equal rights and a stop to exploitation (with an open ending sure but still), or even a straightforward revolution with zaun getting its independence through a violent protest that piltover wouldn't be able to curb due to being stretched too thin

but uhm.... all of this looks kinda... sigh

i really doubt they'll have the time in the remaining 3 episodes to develop both his and Viktor's motivations to fit those new ideas, feels like more of the same 'it all happened off-screen, trust that it makes sense' journey saying that Viktor is 'still worth saving' feels especially yucky all things considered, like pls stop trying to save that man and let him act and choose for himself for once in this season maybe? never thought i'd miss the times when Viktor was doing unsafe experiments, getting illegal drugs from evil mentors and accidentally fridging random female assistants, but mmm that sure didn't get a proper continuation for him did it... just like with Caitlyn, or even Mel or Jinx, we just can't seem to get a proper development for the obviously Questionable things the characters choose to do, it's all kind of swept under the rug or cancelled out by magic interference i guess, or they changed their mind off-screen so it's fine now now that i think about it, Jayce is the only one who was allowed to somewhat grow and change organically, and yet this arcane adventure of his might end up ruining even that... well maybe Vi too but she didn't have a concrete focus this season, just more of the same 'should i reconnect with my sister/father or kill them off for good' and lesbian angst (if she still goes back to enforcers after this i just... fml) did Ambessa's warmongering get the best of her or was she cornered by the Black Rose shenanigans with no better way out? did Isha have any purpose aside from giving us false hope that Jinx will get better and have a happy ending? will Mel have any relevance aside from the new magical one and managing her own mother? does Viktor want to 'supersede nature' and get rid of human error element now because of his own character journey or because that's just what Hexcore is leading him to do?... will Caitlyn show that she still doesn't get why Zaun is the way it is or will she also go 'yeahhh i made some mistakes, but now we fight a common enemy yay, and i'll be a bit less strict in the future without making any meaningful changes to the status quo... it was all them foreigners fault' it's just all so... aghhh

and yep now i am expecting that the piltover/zaun conflict is overrr because they have to come together to fight Ambessa and whatever is going wrong with the magic, sighhh social conflict plotlines are a little too spicy for our animated league adaptation i guess... ...this is the only voiceline implication i like and even then i can't help but imagine Viktor the damsel in distress begging Jayce to fix the mistakes they both did instead of like, participating in that himself

bonus points if that promise won't even be to Viktor fghgfhgf

[jonimitchellstan212]

Okay so I’ve gone on a Tiny Desk Spiral and so am just going to write up a little thing on what I’ve been listening to. And my past favs. Hopefully this post can just grow and grow since I don’t listen to nearly enough of these they are truly amazing. Like most of the time I like it better than the recordings💀

Doechii

So first off, if you are reading this and haven’t listened yet, GO LISTEN. Truly a masterpiece.

Anyways, I don’t listen to a lot of hip-hop, but for some reason it’s always tiny desk that gets me into a bit of a binge. But even as someone who doesn’t listen to the genre I still just know that it’s fucking masterpiece. The backup singers??? The band???? I listened to Alligator Bites Never Heal and I loved it (especially the second half something about that kind of breathy, smooth quality a lot of the later songs had just HITS you know?)

Anyways, everything about this is SO GOOD and I can’t even really articulate anything more than that

Sabrina

Okay so, I’m not a fan fan of Sabrina’s, I haven’t gotten around to a lot of her stuff but everything I’ve heard has been real good. This tho, I feel like she really leans into that country vibe her voice always has a hint of and she did so good. Genuinely one of my fav tiny desks ever. Bed Chem was a stand out for me, but everything was beautiful and everyone did amazing, not just her.

Billie

Really lovely performance all around, I actually love them acoustic, I’ve never been a huge fan of her recorded stuff but I really loved this😎

Moving on to older stuff

So a trend you’ll notice here is that most of the music I listen to is like…the most popular in each genre. Like I’m looking at all the tiny desks I have saved, and all but two are like in the millions of views. There isn’t enough time in the day to deep dive into all of the genres I love😭

Megan Thee Stallion

So I’ve never listened to her before this, but MY GOD. As every comment agrees she’s truly so talented. Her breath control??? Jesus Christ. Anyways tho, as I was watching this I remembered a post on here I saw a while ago saying Megan sings the same subject matter (but like opposite you know) to Hozier, but people don’t give it the same…I don’t know respect? Or something along those lines because she’s a strong confident black woman. And she really singing such a similar vibe (but opposite to the music I love so much. Like Freak Nasty????

We’ve got

But stop licking my pussy hard, That shit aggravating

Followed later by

If he say he a dog, I'ma treat him like a pet

LIKE GIRL HOLY SHIT

So anyways 1. She’s so good god damn 2. Her lyrics, her vibe, just 😙🤌 3. The band?? Phony Ppl just amazing. The song they did together was amazing

Chappell

So firstly, who HASN’T seen this?

1. Not even getting to the music, her outfit, wig, make-up, entire vibe, the whole “someone take a picture” was just perfect. I can’t even explain why it was so good but she has an image and she commits. I love her

2. The music!!! her band!!!! Beautiful versions. I’m mainly focused on Picture You because that’s probably my favorite song of hers, but this arrangement was really beautiful. I honestly cannot remember the instruments she used on the album, but the cello truly just brought everything together, this song was made for strings. The way her voice has that, wavery, almost country quality to it just makes me into a Little Freak honestly

3. Be bimbos ladies!! 🫡

Alright my wrists are sending pains from typing (yay) so I’m not doing the rest well. 🥲. But like what am I even commenting on this isn’t real analysis I’m just saying I like stuff lol

Butcher Brown; incredibly chill, one of my favorites to come back to

Hozier; I love him. I love everything he does. Honestly not my fav of his live things but I will make a post specifically just everything he’s done live (that I know of) and how much I love it all lol

Eskimeaux; I have never listened to them elsewhere before or after but I LOVED their tiny desk. Singer has a truly lovely voice

Aurora; I really loved this. I feel like she was a bit nervous, but the emotion on her face was really beautiful and the first few times I watched this there were def tears something about Aurora and everything she does just makes me feel things

Florence and the Machine; enough said honestly my god I love her. Some of my fav of her songs. Her singing voice is somehow a perfect blend of shaky, full, and confident that just hits the spot

[beelsbignaturals]

🪼DEMON FORMS: LEVIATHAN🪸

AN: Please check my obey me world building tag for the other posts in this series.

Inspo for this particular post: @bubbiedubs @hotdemonsummer @galoismyhimbo @waltnut @unluckykay

TWs: body horror just to be safe, mentions of mild injury, venom, drowning mention. Demons looking somewhat demonic. 

● Lvl 1.5 Starting with our loveable fishy boy, his "half n half" state has the following: a scattering of scales across his body, the biggest concentration is on his shoulders and legs. His teeth are shark-like and super sharp. He accidentally cuts his mouth all the time since he has a nervous habit of chewing on his lips. His freckles (yes, I am a Levi freckle truther) become bioluminescent but only barely. His ears look like fins. He has an extra eyelid for seeing underwater better. He also has a forked tongue. It looks cool as fuck. 

When you fuss over the demon, applying salve to the cuts the frequently littering his mouth, his ear fins wiggle ever so slightly. Is it in delight or embarrassment? Both. If the freckles glowing with a pinkish hue across his cheeks are anything to go by. When you exit his room, leaving a small jar of the healing balm behind, you might just hear a mumbled "Thanks, normie" as the door clicks shut.

● Level 2 has an increase in scales. They cover his chest all the way to his neck and down his arms. They start to become more sparse the further away they are from his torso. His horns and tail make an appearance. The bioluminescence is more noticeable, and his eyes glow bright orange in the dark. Oh! And he has visible gills! Other than that, he has everything from his level 1.5 form

You knock on Leviathan's door, having been told to go tell him dinner is ready since he isn't answering his DDD. You hear... sniffling from inside. Being the caring person you are, you crack the door open and softly call out his name. "Levi? You okay?" A large bundle that you thought was a pile of dirty laundry turns out to be a large blanket wrapped around the third born. It's completely dark aside from the illumination from the aquarium and his TV, which is paused on a tragic anime death. The blanket over his head creates even more shadow. The only thing you can see is two blowing orange dots staring straight into your soul. A pathetic sniff comes from the blanket cave, tugging on your heartstrings. Dinner is forgotten as you join the distraught demon on the floor.

● Level 3, everything from the last two but with the addition of his teeth growing longer, becoming more needle-like and his lips all but disappear. Since they would just get in the way of his teeth. He has an extra set of gills on his sides. His horns grow bigger, branching out like coral. He also grows one of those lure things anglerfish have, and his tail gets longer. Both his freckles and the light on the end of the lure glow extremely bright when he blushes. His hands and feet become webbed. His arms and legs start to have delicate looking fins along them. As well as a larger one on his spine. He needs to be kept moist, or his skin will crack, and it's gross and painful. He prefers to be submerged in water, but if he needs to leave his room, just mist him like a plant, and it'll be fine. This is the form he takes after the trivia battle… yay.

Scolding Levi for what feels like the hundredth time today, you toss one of Asmo's many expensive lotions at the demon. If this man doesn't start taking care of himself, you think you might scream. His lure and freckles flash various bright colors as you unceremoniously grab his leg and apply the lotion, being sure not to hurt the fragile frilly gills in the process.

● Level 4. Levi is every sailor's nightmare. If there is a sea monster story? That's probably him. He is completely aquatic like this. Which can be a hassle. For practical reasons, his size is dependent on how much water he has access to. For cute reasons, this means he can be a very tiny nightmare fuel sea serpent and hang out with Henry 2.0 in his aquarium. In theory, you could put him in a glass of water and carry the mini-Levi around with you. THIS GOT WAY TOO CUTE OK, so back to the freaky shit. If given enough water, Leviathan's horns will turn into a fully functional coral reef. Man has his own ecosystem. His teeth are large, thin, and incredibly sharp. They don't all fit in his mouth. He is covered in orange spots similar in shape to a blue ring octopus. And they serve the same function, letting everyone know, "HEY THIS DUDE IS VERY TOXIC" (physically, not emotionally). He secretes a toxin that, if you come into contact with it, it will cause your lungs to fill with water, no matter what environment you are in, until you drown. Luckily, unless he is super emotional, Levi has full control over it and can choose not to poison everyone. I mean, sometimes he will take on this form for funsies (playing with Lotan) so he doesn't need to be constantly secreting magic poison.

"HEY!" You shout at the glass of water in your hand. A certain otaku had a bit of a tantrum and summoned Lotan on school property. It's your job to babysit him while he's in The Timeout Cup. Levi has since calmed down tremendously and is rather playful. By spitting a stream of water at your face. The little shit!

[angeart]

consider this: maybe the community is good for them. maybe it still damages them irreparably.

WHAT-

oh

is that... sadder? its sadder. this is worse somehow. man hhau is just a constant push between healing and being shoved all the way back down to rock bottom isnt it. i love it so much

ALSO THE SNIPPET I LOVE THE SNIPPET THATS SO SOFT I LOVE THE NEW CHARACTERS AND THE GAME NIGHT SEEMS SO FUN

its such a bright spot in how difficult the rest of hhau has been for scar and grian, even in their happier moments theres still fear in the background but this feels different somehow. maybe its because theyre in a community, or just the fact that grian is feeling freer with his wings and scar is joking around and having fun

i wonder how it falls apart

anywayssss

im excited to hear more details about the vex arc! i feel like weve gotten teased with its existence for a while and im so excited to read more about it (no pressure though to move forward or write them yet I am loving mimic arc and am So curious about what the next bits have in store(especially the eclipse? the red haze? whats up with those? 👀))

-burny anon

hehehe.

it is definitely sadder. it's gonna hurt so much 🥰

i love what you said about hhau because it fits so well—that constant push between healing and being shoved back down. and there's only so many times this can happen before you realise maybe healing just... isn't for u <3

YAY I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE SNIPPET AND NEW CHARACTERS AND STUFF! they finally have a bit of security, people watching their backs, and it helps a lot to make all those baby steps to something better. weeps. i love them.

that game night was such a big thing. many things happened! them feeling free and wild, friendly teasing and unbridled laughter, ribbons and flight, and— and also breakdowns, interspersed through. spikes of anxiety with its wide, incessant reach even through goof stuff. characters learning more about each other and growing closer. man. we rpd that one for like a month through various stuff that happens just on that one NIGHT.

you gotta ask, if they've been in this vex commune for a while—really, how does it all end? :3c why doesn't it last?

hehe

we can throw bits of vex arc at u but we can't write the rambles yet because some of mimic art pt V will be relevant for context on what scar and grian are dealing with, and it'll take a long while to get there with the rambles... so sadly proper big vex arc rambles have to wait, along with the reveal of some finer details, but for now we can hopefully at least satisfy you (and, honestly, us too) like this! <3

[alpaca-clouds]

For those of us who've not touched bg3 but are a fan of sexy vampires...Could you give a quick rundown on Astarion? Or is his lore too extensive?

Sure enough.

I will put this under a cut, though, for those who do not want to be spoiled. (Now I? I totally spoiled myself for the part of the plot I have not reached because with work my plaing has gotten slow.)

So, Astarion is one of your main companions in the game. The very, very short of the game set up (in terms non-DnD-players can understand): You got kidnapped by tentacle monsters who put a tadpole into your brain that is gonna turn you into a tentacle monster as well. Through circumstances you escape the tentacle monsters though before you can be turned and now try to get the tadpole out of your brain before you can grow said tentacles.

Now, your main companions all have the same issue. So does Astarion. You meet him soon after escaping the tentacle monsters. He appears to be an elf, some of your companions note he is a bit pale, but at least my very stupid bard was like: "He looks perfectly fine to me."

But of course you are gonna find him nibbling on your neck sooner or later. And from there on you find out a bit about him.

Now, this sad, sad vampire has been stabbed 200 years ago on the streets of Baldur's Gate, upon which he was found by a vampire. Cazador. Cazador was like: "You can die or you can allow me to turn you into a vampire." And Astarion wanted to live. So he allowed himself to be turned.

But Cazador only turned him into a vampire spawn. (Explanation: In DnD it is a weird mix. Vampires can turn you by just biting you, but until you drink their blood you are only vampire spawn, giving your vampire sire a lot of control over you.)

Cazador is the most horrible, shittiest asshole to ever have walked under this sky. He proceeded to take this poor vampire man who was now under his control and tortured him, raped him, prostituted him, abused him, and at times even used mind control to make Astarion torture himself. According to Astarion Cazador liked his screams so much.

Boy, I am looking forward to killing Cazador. (Or rather letting Astarion do the deed.)

Now, Astarion's character quest mostly involves the fact that Cazador carved something into his back. You will find out, that it is basically a spell that is meant to sacrifice Astarion and his vampire spawn siblings in a ritual so that Cazador can through that gain powers no other vampire has ever had before.

And boy, Astarion is so sad and traumatized and I just wanna hug him and tell him everything is gonna be alright, okay?

The game really managed to gut punch me, before I got spoiled.

See, if you do the romances, it is very dependend on the character how quick you get to a sexy time scene. In the case of Astarion the romance quest starts with him offering you sex. So me, horny as I am, was like: "Yay, let's fuck the sexy vampire." Only to then later learn of his tragic backstory and figure out that the reason he offers you sex that early is, that he never had anyone look out for him before and had thought it was conditional on him offering sex. And I was like: "Oh. Oh baby. Oh baby. I am sorry. Q-Q"

But he is really well written.

Not to spoil too much here, but for the first two acts he is like a very abrasive asshole. Because he is in full survival mode and he does not understand what is going on and all that. And all he ever knew was cruelty and violence. So he thinks that it is the only way to act. But if you are playing a good, heroic character he is slowly gonna come around to you. And he slowly is gonna start to believe that indeed you are being good because you are good and not because you have some greater goal. And then in Act 3 the sweetest thing happens, when you are nice and he suddenly... is also acting nice. It is just so sweet.

But yeah, I wanna hug him and hold him and kiss him and make everything alright. And I will probably spend a good while writing healing fics for him.

[keysandmirrors]

🐈‍⬛ 🐇 & 🦨 for the little friends ask game!!

Oo yay my first ask!

Just as a heads up I haven’t shifted to either of these DRs yet but I’m still gonna he answering for The Elementalists DR and Academy Inferno DR! 💞This also got long sooo under the cut it goes

🐈‍⬛ : BALANCED BLACK CAT . . . have you made yourself overpowered (no judgement btw) or are there aspects of your being that counteract your powerful nature?

The Elementalists: So I'm following the game's story line mostly which means yes I am overpowered lol. I'm like a demi god kind of except they aren't called gods they're called sources. I'm known for being the only sun attuned on campus which is a third tier attunement so everyone has pretty high expectations for my magical capabilities. I do prefer my second attunement which is air so I guess that kind of nerfs me? Idrc though cause I'm using air magic to ZOOM through campus!

Academy Inferno: I can't blame any source material for this one cause I made it all up but I did make myself overpowered again 😅 I'm pretty much known as the strongest necromancer and I scripted that my magic was so powerful it took a few years longer to plateau than normal. What can I say I just wanna be epic at magic 🤷

🐇 : RATIONAL RABBIT . . . what are the beliefs and or prophecies that people in your desired reality believe in simply because of tradition?

The Elementalists: Okay this one is kind of sad but blood magic has been illegal for a good while because this ONE GUY (I hate him so much) started murdering people to achieve ultimate power. Like blood magic was used for healing and a lot of other good stuff but he gave it a bad name which sucks cause my teacher is a blood attuned and she has to hide it but she's literally good vibes personified!!! Raife when I catch you Raife 🤬

Academy Inferno: This one is more fun though cause a lot of witches believe that if they become powerful enough a group of people can combine their magic and form ✨time magic✨. It hasn't been done but it has resulted in a lot of party games and sleepovers dedicated to trying to get it. It's a famous rumor/myth that the Academy's headmaster got the closest to succeeding and that's why he's lived such a long time.

🦨 : SOFT SKUNK . . . what are a few of your favorite memories in your desired reality? what kind of emotion to these memories bring about? who else is in these memories?

The Elementalists: Okay okay this is a tough one but I'm gonna try my best. The day I got my familiar, Tim, is a VERY happy memory. He's literally just a little guy. A fella. So dopey and sweet 🥰🥰 We got our familiars at the start of class and spent the rest of the class bonding with them and I just admired him for most of it. Another memory is my first birthday party that my friends threw after I told them I never had one growing up. They did not care if it wasn't actually my birthday they just wanted to party lol. It was also my first "birthday" celebrated with my estranged twin brother so yaaayy :D

Academy Inferno: This one is easier but requires a little backstory. I mentioned my magic plateaued later than it was supposed to so I was moved into a facility where I could be monitored to make sure my magic wouldn't hurt me or anyone else (it was a good place dw) but yeah the day I got the okay to leave and attend school was a GOOD day. I got to leave and celebrate with my family a bit before school started which was nice. Another good memory is meeting my friend Iridian on her first day of school. If anyone has seen "The Parent Trap" think of that camp scene where the girl helped pull the other girl's bag out of the car and that's how me and Iridian met lol. She was born on Earth so was new to magic stuff and she saw me walking past and was like "we're friends now can you help me" and I just went along with it.

[wttcsms]

sorry if you're not comfortable answering this, but I saw you say that you've been diagnosed with depression. how did you know when to seek help?

tl;dr: from a young age, i never lived a healthy lifestyle with an easy pace. i (and maybe even my family) put too much pressure on me, and i never really coped with it in a healthy manner. my attempt at handling things "with ease" and "not stressing" was actually just me bottling up my emotions, and it's not until things started getting really bad that i finally sought help.

nothing uncomfy abt it at all! discussion of mental health is pretty important! tbh, i never thought i would have depression or be diagnosed with it; i started showing symptoms for around a year before i started really thinking to myself, hey, i think there might be something up with me mentally and this isn't just some silly, quirky thing i'm going through. ever since i was around 18, i went through great lengths to ensure i would achieve maximum academic success but while being a full-time college student and consistently working 60+ hours a week (70+ during the summer bc my junior year internship was so intense; i also went to college 2 years early, so i think that's when the internal pressure to "do well in life" began) was taking a massive toll on me mentally and physically. i would survive off of 4-5 hours of sleep, consume concerning amounts of caffeine, i was losing hair, i was losing drastic amounts of weight, i was breaking out and breaking down, and even when i got better, i still wasn't fully ever healed from that experience purely bc my schedule just never slowed down.

i am still a full-time student, i am still working 7 days a week, leading to 60+ hours (40 hours internship, 20 hours at my weekend part-time job). on top of that, i am in the second to last semester of my grad school, i help out around the house bc after my older sister moved out, i took over the eldest daughter duties, i am still holding myself to a very high standard academically (already planning to apply to phd programs, studying for the cpa exam, already have another summer internship lined up). i knew things were getting bad because 1) i am finally older (im abt to turn 21! yay!) and i realized that the lifestyle i'm living isn't healthy and 2) a lot of my behaviors didn't feel "normal" to me anymore. it finally hit me around two months ago, when i realized that i sort of lost my love for fanfiction. i've been in a weird mood where i didn't want to read any fanfic whatsoever, but i chalked it up to being "too busy" and focused on other things. when i couldn't even find the energy to read my own mutual's fanfic, i knew something was up bc i always try to power through and remain enthusiastic on my friends' behalf. more behaviors that were a cause for concern:

my disinterest in everything that brought me joy previously. sweet treats at the end of the day, coffee before work, buying makeup from sephora, cleaning my room (sounds silly, but i love having a clean living space and cleaning my room used to be a source of peace and joy for me), writing fanfiction, reading books, watching youtube videos, catching up on shows that would release weekly and that i used to count down the days to watch — none of it held my interest. i wasn't excited, i didn't care.

it wasn't just a lack of joy from things i loved, either. rejections from programs i looked forward to/rejections from opportunities, abysmal grades in class, looming deadlines that i most likely wouldn't make, growing assignments on my work to-do list; none of this elicited a reaction from me. there was no stress (that i was feeling; subconsciously, i think the stress was still there and i just refused to acknowledge it), but there also wasn't disappointment or sadness. i had no emotional response to anything, and that was very concerning to me, and the main reason i contacted my sister and then her boyfriend (who is a licensed psychiatrist)

i could sleep for 12+ hours a day. there are many days in the week where all i want to do is rot in bed. not even in a "go on my phone and dick around in bed" type of way, either. i would have certain days where i couldn't leave the bed. sometimes, i wouldn't even feel tired, but i would just sleep. my internship is wfh and if it was a slow day with no assignments, i would clock in and spend that whole day in my bed, sleeping. it got to the point where i wish work was busy so i would have something to force me out of bed. yes, i would be aware of my tiredness sometimes, but this felt different altogether. i just wanted to basically hibernate lol.

i had constant headaches. i thought it was because of the nature of my job, where i look at computer screens all day, or maybe it was bc i wasn't drinking enough water. i would also get unexplainable cramps sometimes.

tmi, but little to no pleasure and an extreme decline in interest in sex

i had extreme issues with focusing on work and studying; a lot of my work (and school materials) centers around thinking through problems and applying tax law or guidance to certain situations.

my diet fluctuated; some days, i wouldn't want to eat, yesterday, i gorged myself on food, eating to the point where even i had to pause and go wtf.

not very often was i randomly sad, nor did i ever want to kill myself or self-harm; when i was a teenager (17/18) and probably showing signs of depression, i was very irritable, angry, sad, and had suicidal thoughts, thought i was worthless, an idiot, etc. however, i mostly just feel empty and apathetic during my episodes now.

what helped me seek help was knowing that my behaviors and how i was feeling didn't feel healthy, but also, my best friend recently shared her diagnosis with me and i would have never thought she would be depressed. my sister's bf was also a major help in getting me comfortable to consider the possibility of having a mental illness and also in finding someone to talk to. hope this helps!

edit: forgot to mention it, but i exhibited many/all of those symptoms for around the past 3 months before ever seeking help. those behaviors started manifesting tremendously and seriously disrupting my daily life, and i knew i needed to do something to get my life back on track.

[rise-my-angel]

mimiiii, two things i wanted to pop in and say

1. i really love how developed your story line is. watching these characters grow and heal has truly been an experience that i mayyy be a little emotionally invested in hehe. i began ur series a little over a month ago and i am always excited to read onto the next chapter (i’m almost caught up with the latest update, yay!!)

2. the smut does NOT get in the way of the story. there’s such a level of intimacy within the scenes that creates this level of understanding of their characters throughout the story. plus… we’re all adults here, good smut is refreshinggg

p.s criticism is best from people you love and care for you and wish to see grow, not people that wish to bring u down just because they can. we’re all here for you <3

I'm really glad you feel invested in the story! I know it's hard to write a fanfic where so much of it goes over events already played out in a book and on screen and make it feel unique enough to justify it's existence, but I hope thats what i've done even a little. So I'm glad at least parts of it are working for you!

About the smut, I'm still unsure. A lot of talk of my smut and porn in general has been thrown my way lately and it's confusing my view of my work, so I'm not sure where I stand on the topic right now, but I will take what you said into consideration, I promise!

I welcome all critcism, I just wished that the negative things were said a little bit nicer then they are.

[alllinesarebeautiful]

Day 425 Art meditation, August 29, 2024,

”Vote BluePaper Dress of the Tree Ring Art Heart Art Brand Bundle”

Dear You, 

Posting my “Vote Blue” paper dress for my ‘Tree Ring’ Heart Art Brand Bundle!  YAY !!!

It’s 45 days late, but I had some deep, deep stuff to go through. Lots of terrifying honesty and heavy conversations have been happening … Lots of journaling of themes I want to flesh out into book chapters …

It’s a new day. 🙏

The center art piece (much like a logo) of the Vote art is still the abstract tree ring image, but art moves and grows if I stop trying to control it so much. I try to make my idea without over-thinking and see what happens in the stage of it. I am intentionally trying NOT to be perfect.  

Even as I made this dress, I criticized my way through it. Stupid stupid stupid.  The final photos, taken by my in-house photographer G, and who forces me to laugh in the “photoshoot” with his brilliant sense of humor, came out much better than I thought it would.  

The main ideas that I want to convey is what happens to our heart-spaces WHEN we make any kind of art, 

or when we speak up for ourselves, 

or when we vote towards love, 

or when we vote with our Hearts, not our Egos,

or and when we have the courage to stand up for BLUE truth and justice - 

is that our very fragile inner heart space becomes STRONGER, and new ideas come in. 

Love and art creates beautiful things our minds could never have imagined!

The whole point of the Blue Wave right now is to make LOVE bigger. 

And for everything else, let God handle it. And if you don’t believe in God, then all I know is that there will come a moment in your life when you have to face yourself. Honesty has a way of catching up with us…

Two days ago I felt PURE JOY for about 2 minutes. TWO. Although, I will add, last night I made an entire 3 jokes in one night, in part thanks to the big glass of wine, but the fact that I made G laugh so hard, is proof they were good jokes. He only laughs when something is seriously funny. My usual joke rate is once a month, so was this a surge of healing??

This surge of joy made me ponder, I don’t think we know how MUCH we normalize being SUBDUED and JOYLESS.

I want the paper dress to remind us all that there is more joy, love and beauty. No hoarding is necessary. It just isn’t.

If all the men in the world who are creating war-separation-divide, would INSTEAD pick up a glue stick and colorful paper and a scissors, what a different world we would live in. 

This should be a requirement if you want to get into politics. Art has a way of leveling the playing field. Art has a way of reducing your ego, especially since it is one arena where there really are no rules. If you set out to be GREAT, art has a way of having its own will and taking you down a notch. 

For example, I remember when I took my only (blissful) oil painting class at Goshen College as an elective, in a dreamy art department which was a big sunny loft. My final project was to paint “like” an artist I admired. I picked Henri Matisse, and wanted to paint something like his Blue Nude.

What came out was so hideous. I remember being shocked, because some of Matisee’s art looks so easy to recreate / copy, I thought I would easily be able to recreate the joy Matisse creates in my heart. I still got a 90% grade, but I thought that was generous. It took a serious notch out of my ego. I wish I still had it and could show you. 

The point, which I get now, and I could not understand 35 years ago, is that we ARE as unique as the art and heart-ideas that come with each of us. So, again, no stealing, or dominating, or hoarding is necessary. 

My father loved the hideous stuff I made for that art class, plus the 2 art classes I took in high school. A few years ago I threw it all away, which is a shame, I realize now, but that’s my critical brain at work!

Now that this first paper dress is done, I can feel a kind of contentment, which I always try to remember this feeling and not let my sticky mind go backwards. Heart-space expansion!

Sending oodles of love,

Anne ◎

Ⓒ 2024 Anne Hunsicker | All Lines Are Beautiful. All rights reserved.

[apparently-artless]

Hello Art,

Who are 5 of your favorite anime characters?

Hello, anon! It's been a while since I received this kind of question. But since you didn't mention TOP, I will just give the first 5 favorite characters I can think of. (￣▽￣*)ゞ

Itadori Yuuji [Jujutsu Kaisen]

Kinda difficult not to think of him since he's my pfp right now. :P And all the suffering he's going through. Ugh! I just want to keep him in my pocket tbh.

Nanami Kento [Jujutsu Kaisen]

In the manga, I know what happened to him was already quite a long time ago. But seeing it animated doesn't make it any better. I'm still not over him. T_T

Choso [Jujutsu Kaisen]

I didn't expect to like this character but he really started growing on me. He literally went from the top 1 enemy who wanted to kill Yuuji to I-am-Yuuji's-big-bro-and-I-will-do-anything-for-him-even-at-the-cost-of-my-life character. He's my oasis and the one thing that's keeping me sane in reading JJK. Like yay!!! Baby Yuuji's found family!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Mash Burnedead [Mashle]

Season 2 is coming next month!! Why wouldn't I think of him?? (´ ε ` )

Warumono-san [Mr. Villain's Day Off]

I am very excited to watch the anime! Another soul-healing series! And the gap moe of this character is just A++ for me. A villain who loves panda and cute things and totally prioritizes work-life balance?? It's a good therapy for all the tired office workers out there.

[selflovewarrior]

hey sweeties!

a new update on the life of Soetkin:

so a couple of weeks after my last post(s) i started a treatment program of three group therapy days a week. it was at a local general hospital, so no specialised program i suppose. while my expectations weren't very high and i saw it more as a tool to not sink deeper into depression and anxiety while i waited out till it would be my turn on the waiting list for the program i actually thought would help me, i quit this program halfway though my planned time there. i felt a lot worse during therapy as it progressed than i did at home. i looked so forward to it being over because i was extremely anxious and felt like i was killing myself on the inside when i was there. home was my safe space, the total opposite of how therapy felt for me. and believe me i know that it's kind of expected that you'll feel worse for a bit during intense therapy since you start opening up and stop running away from what you feel and think. so i quite suddenly quit.

(since this post ended up becoming what resembles a whole novel, i'm going to cut in here so people who don't care don't have to scroll through it ;) anyway it's not all bad if you want to read on, it actualy quite hopeful, the start just isn't very much so.)

i had a plan to pick up some creative activities at facilities for disabled folks, which i have got a government recognition for. i found a place i could start at fairly quickly, i haven't gone very often yet, but all in all i felt such intense relief when i didn't have to go to group therapy there anymore.

i'm still overly anxious and get very (extremely) easily overwhelmed by everything in this world: sounds, proximity, weather. but i am not as deeply depressed anymore. i'm actually feeling more like my regular self in that regard.

i can start the pre-program i've been waiting for since november in two weeks (and the full program one month later) and i'm so very hopeful for the future. i'm not where i used to be yet, but i'll get there, i'll get beyond there. I've already learned more about myself these past 8-9 months, things i never really considered or took seriously. while it still feels strange to say i most probably also have adhd (i got my autism diagnosis as a kid). a lot of the stuff i also struggle with seems to always have something to do with dopamine. i also probably have DCD (i still find it out they didn't look into this when i was in residential treatment when i got my autism diagnosis, but they still mentioned me randomly walking into doorframes and stuff instead of through the doorframes). i'm learning to give myself more time regarding my DCD when doing stuff that's hard(er) for me. even stuff like taking the laundry out of the machine etc. or walking up or down stairs. i'm starting to stop caring about other people being faster. the recognition of that DCD element for myself is a huge thing towards self-acceptance. i now also realise my brand of neurodivergence comes with rejection sensitive dysphoria, which explains SO FUCKING MUCH OMG.

this bout of urgent mental health issues also came with more physical issues than i've ever experienced before. which felt odd, and mostly unexpected. i've had more visits to a physiotherapist than the rest of my life combined these past few months. i also struggled with eating, but not ED wise this time, that part of me is actually doing quite well this time, which is also unexpected but yay. i mostly didn't have the energy to lift my fork and everything tasted meh. but that part is also a lot better now, still happens sometimes, but it's far better now. (i also lost a lot of hair because of it, which is growing back now, so i have plucks of toddler hair in my face all the time, and let me tell you toddler hair is a lot more annoying than baby hairs, they're too short to go anywhere, and too long to not be an annoyance). my last post also came as i was only just healed from what could've been covid, or something similar. but the worst infection i've had since 2020 (and i have had it several times). I always got booster shots (since i worked at a hospital) and never was very inconvenienced, let alone for over a week. but my symptoms now started on new year's day (yay me) and lasted for about a month and they were unpleasant and painful. i guess i partially ought to thank the booster shots in the past for not getting that ill, but i also think i kinda blew my immune system over by not eating properly.

anyway, so here we are. my husband who's a teacher in upper secondary school has started his summer holidays, he's actually had a rather nice last month of the school year since his pupils' finals were evenly spread out for him so he didn't have to rush correcting them.

we're also in a very good place now. i'm so happy and grateful this guy is my husband, that i can call him mine, that we're us. he's also started therapy for his OCD, and while he was terrified he's doing so well, i'm really impressed (a bit scared too though that he might be taking on a bit too much at once in therapy). we're building a sturdy base for our future together (with hopefully a kid at some point sooner rather than later). He's feeling more sad about having to postpone our starting a family plans due to all of this, but we also both see this as a huge opportunity to become even better parents. and in a way we're quite lucky this all happened before i got pregnant and not during or after. not to say it can't or won't happen again, but then we'll be even more prepared to take on this challenge again than we were / are now.

anyway: i still have a long and scary road ahead of me, but i'm not at the start anymore, i've already been hiking for a bit and i'm hopeful about seeing the sun rise beautifully overhead once more.

i also really really really want to reblog stuff for this blog again, and more frequently. i am however still struggling with energy, spoons are often very depleted. i even have a very hard time editing my own pictures and it's not like i've taken many these past 10 months. i've also had people i know irl reach out to me because i'm so absent on all social media and that's very unlike me. and them asking me about it, gives me the feeling that i actually do might belong here and with those people and that people actually care and that i'm missed. and that's a bewildering but amazingly heart warming feeling, that's kind of new to me.

hope to be back sooner next time!

thank you guys so so much for sticking with me, for reblogging my old posts, for sharing positivity on this website and hopefully to people you think need it, including yourself! thank you to all new followers, you're seen! you're loved! you're appreciated!

x Soetkin