#but I am glad the month is almost over
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charizardstolemynickname Ā· 1 year ago
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HAPPY LAST DAY OF PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!!!
I am starting a new show! (I have been saying this a while now BUT COLLEGE IS GONE FOR THE YEAR SO FREEDOM!) plus its the last day of pride so I will start one
I am so indecisive I am putting: Gravity Falls; Deadend paranormal park; Amphibia; or Supergirl (the only non-cartoon and non-wlw canon show but shush katie mcgrath owns my heart), into a virtual spinning wheel to decide which to watch!
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skrimshaw Ā· 1 year ago
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This is a perfect world, riding on an incline
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opens-up-4-nobody Ā· 4 months ago
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...
#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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padfootastic Ā· 2 years ago
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Hello I have come to you with another Prongsfoot thought: James absolutely losing his mind when he comes home one day (or comes back to the dorm one day) to find Sirius wearing his jersey (and perhaps nothing else hehehe.)
oh but iā€™ve got just the thing for you, miss imp šŸ˜‰ this is a headcanon iā€™ve had for the longest time, because james is absolutely the kind of person who loses his mind when his partner wears his name on them. and we already know anything sirius does is maddening for him sooooooo this is. a deadly combination.
(iā€™ve posted this before but itā€™s gotten lost in the Great Tumblr Archival System so iā€™m reposting it hehehehe)
ā€œAlright, James, this canā€™t go on anymore,ā€ Sirius said, voice firm, arms crossed across his chest. James blinked, eyes dragging up from where theyā€™d been fixed on his collarbones, unusually exposed in the large jersey, to focus on furrowed brows and suspicious grey eyes.
ā€œWhat canā€™t go on anymore?ā€
ā€œThisā€”whateverā€™s going on with you!ā€ Sirius threw one arm out in emphasis. ā€œYouā€™ve been acting off the entire day, do you realise?ā€
James tilted his head in question, silently asking for him to elaborate. He knew heā€™s beenā€¦a little distracted, but it couldnā€™t have been so much as to call for this intervention, surely?
ā€œJames!ā€ Sirius says, exasperated and really, thatā€™s one too many times heā€™s called him by his full name. He canā€™t even remember the last time Sirius did that. ā€œYou crashed into a wall twice, tripped over Mrs. Norrisā€™ tail and had to hide inside a suit of armor to avoid her clawsā€”then you fell over in the damn thing and got a bump the size of an ostrich egg on your head. Five seconds ago, you almost plummeted off the staircase to your death and now youā€™ve been somewhere Not Here the entire time Iā€™ve been talking. Seriously, what gives?ā€
Okay, maybe, put it that way, it sounded quite bad but James didnā€™t intend to be so scatter brained! He was having a perfectly decent time, had his head screwed on straight and then Sirius had to go and mess all that up! He was not prepared for the sight of him walking out of the shower, a cloud of steam escaping behind him. His hair was half wet and pulled back, cheeks flushed red from the heat and most importantly, he was wearing Jamesā€™ Quidditch Jersey.
The one that was at least two sizes bigger than Sirius usual clothes. And the one that, when his best mate turned around, had POTTER emblazoned in huge letters across the shoulders. James had just stood there, jaw slack and fingers clenched around his tie, taking in the sight. He knew what his jersey looked like, had worn it hundreds of times, but he never knew it could be like this.
And that had just been the beginning. It seemed like with every passing hour, Sirius looked better in the damn thing than before whichā€”shouldnā€™t be possible considering how extremely good he looked in the first place. Seriously, if James wasnā€™t asā€¦confident as he was, he wouldā€™ve definitely gotten a complex by now. As it was, Wormtail always looked a bit peaky around Sirius. Just before their first class, Siriusā€™ had dried into his usual perfect curls, loose strands framing his face. By the time second rolled around, the jersey had slipped off one shoulder, exposing sharp collarbones. James didnā€™t even know bones could look so- so obscene but here he was, proven wrong. Right after lunch, Sirius had gotten frustrated with how much the fabric was flapping and had casually used his hair tie to knot it in the back.
This led to two things. First, his hair was now free to tumble around his face, leaving James with the strongest urge to run his hands through it, or perhaps even tick strands behind one ear. He only avoided doing so by utilising pressing his fingers into his palms to the point of pain. The second, more maddening, one was that now, it wasnā€™t just his unnervingly attractive shoulder but also his waist that was on tantalising display. Every time he stretched, or raised his hand in class, or ran a hand through his hairā€”the jersey would ride up until Siriusā€™ pale skin peeked through and honestly, was it really a wonder that James almost walked off the moving staircases the first time he got a glimpse of that happening?
The entire day was an exercise in making him lose his mind, he was certain. Somewhere, he had pissed off a deity and they wanted him to suffer because there was no other explanation for this. James had never been one to feel possessive. In fact, he loved sharing everything he had with the people around him. Their joy was his joy and all that. Hell, Sirius and him had been wearing each otherā€™s clothes since first year when Sirius hadnā€™t had anything except uncomfortably formal robes for Christmas morning, which was an atrocity because everyone knew you wore ugly sweaters on the day so heā€™d given his to Sirius and DIYā€™d one for himself. Of course, as James started playing Quidditch and bulked up harder and faster than anyone couldā€™ve predicted, it had decreased until the only things they really shared were robes and ties.
But seeing his name on Sirius? Plastered across his body, marking him as Jamesā€™? He just knew, right there and then, that he could never go back. Now that heā€™d felt what it was like, that burning heat deep in his gut, the dizzying feeling of seeing Sirius look soā€¦delicateā€”there was no way he couldnā€™t crave more of it. In his head, James had already started making plans for now he could, inconspicuously, get Siriusā€™ in his jersey more often. Because it absolutely has to happen again, James hasnā€™t had nowhere near enough of the sight.
ā€œJamie? James!ā€ A hand waved in front of him, ripping him away from his pleasant daydreams of seeing Sirius in nothing but his jersey. His face flamed red, not even realising the direction his thoughts had travelled in until he blinked and saw Sirius standing in front of him, looking bemused and dressed perfectly respectably (James was trying very hard to ignore the skin visible just above his waistband.
ā€œErā€”sorry,ā€ James said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. ā€œWent away for a second there.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s exactly what I mean! Youā€™ve been drifting away quite a bit today.ā€
ā€œItā€™s notā€”Seriously, nothingā€™s wrongā€”ā€œ
ā€œI never said it was,ā€ Sirius said, shrewdly, making James immediately choke on his words as he tried to backtrack.
ā€œNoā€”Thatā€™s notā€¦I meanā€”ā€œ Jamesā€™ teeth snapped shut with an incriminating ā€˜clackā€™ as Sirius steps closer to him, toed shoes touching at the tips. Close enough that they were breathing the same air, for James to see the shades of grey in Siriusā€™ eyes. Close enough that he could feel the movement of Siriusā€™ chest as he breathed deeply.
ā€œSi?ā€ he croaks, throat too dry all of a sudden.
ā€œWonā€™t you tell me what happened, James?ā€ Siriusā€™ voice was soft, pitched low and James had to strain his ears to hear him properly. He gulped unsteadily, eyes tracking the way Sirius tongue slipped out to wet his bottom lip, leaving a maddening shine behind.
ā€œSi,ā€ he said, again, tone matching Siriusā€™. One of his hands had, without his permission, travelled to the waist heā€™d been eyeing for the better part of the day. It was featherlight, barely even a touch, really, but the way Sirius shuddered when his hand made contact with warm skin was entirely too much for Jamesā€™ already fraying self control. His fingers twitched, hard, in an attempt to stop but in the next second, theyā€™d wrapped themselves entirely around the body in his arms. Jamesā€™ forearm was pressed tight against Siriusā€™ back, their noses were mere inches away, and Siriusā€™ eyes were more than halfway shut.
James took a deep breath himself and let his hand press imprints into the curve of Siriusā€™ waist. The only response he got was the feeling of Siriusā€™ forehead pressing into his shoulder, arms wrapping around him in return.
It was then that James let his own shoulders unclench, let himself relax like he hadnā€™t the whole day. A soft smile lifted his lips as he thought about where to go from here
ā€œYouā€™ll wear this for me again, wonā€™t you, darling?ā€ he asked, pressing the question into Siriusā€™ dark curls with a kiss. He didnā€™t get a reply but he didnā€™t need one. Siriusā€™ hitched breath was enough of an answer for him.
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saturnsorbits Ā· 9 months ago
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Thereā€™s a secret line AU of my self-ship, where before Bakugo realises heā€™s actually in love with Kirishima and not me, he gets me pregnant and we have to co-parentā€¦
#He leaves me before we knowā€¦#And I tell him over coffee - tell him Iā€™m keeping it tooā€¦#He just nods; thin lipped; thinking - unreadable.#And then; he says heā€™ll be in touch.#Heā€™s not.#I go to the first scan alone.#And the second.#When Mitsuki finds out; she sends me a card and a bouquet - Both an apology and an olive branchā€¦#We meet up twice a month after that.#More closer to the birth.#But I hit almost full term before Bakugo finally reaches back outā€¦#Heā€™s sorry - Ofc he is and he does everything in his power to make up for his absence.#There are no excuses; heā€™s just there trying to make things right.#And itā€™s great; having him back; having the support -#but it hurts tooā€¦#Bc heā€™s got that look in his eyes againā€¦ The one I thought meant he loved me; except this time Iā€™m not fooled.#I know that look isnā€™t for me. Itā€™s for the baby. His baby. Growing inside of me.#It kicks up horrible selfish emotions. Bc ofc Iā€™m glad he loves the baby - OFC I amā€¦#But it stings none the less.#Pulls at bearly healed wounds.#It gets better tho.#Heā€™s there for the birth and him and Kiri are the best parents in the world to our little boy -#He takes to calling Kiri dad#And Bakugo is always fierce in my defence when people pass me off as a surrogate.#Itā€™s an odd family - yes - but itā€™s ours.#And when Bakugo and Kirishima have thier children it growsā€¦#As does it when Denki and I add another little boy to the mix.
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sororygilmore Ā· 7 months ago
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i feel like the warm weather is making me feel worse because itā€™s like. lorde is right every perfect summer is eating me alive.
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milo-is-rambling Ā· 2 years ago
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Just remembered how one of my dedicated to people last roadtrip literally was like ā€œoh actually I donā€™t think you can stay here tonight I have work early tomorrow :(ā€œ after driving like seven and a half hours to him (and he texted me this when I was an hour away from his house and we had literally talked about my plans to stay there all day) like hello red flag red flag red flag
#the way he made me drive ten hours in one day when it was like less than a week after my fathers funeral like bro hello#he really was like idk you should be able to just drive three hours to your next person idk ur gonna figure it out#insane insane insane#not to be that guy but literally to be that guy I am so glad I am making my own plans to sleep in random places on the road and not staying#at anyoneā€™s house besides Millie and direct family#it was literally snowing in the mountains of West Virginia he was like yeah just drive three extra hours at night thru the mountains while#it snows#GRAH MAKES ME SO UPSET STILL#AM I THAT SHITTY OF A PERSON THAT HE DIDNT REALIZE THAT WAS A SHITTY THING TO DO#me willing to wake up at four in the morning to get out of his hair before work just for a bed to sleep in and not drive#I literally stopped and ā€‹napped in his bed while the he smoked weed with our West Virginia friends before driving the extra three hours#he shouldā€™ve just let me crash if he was willing to have me and three other ppl over that night#god. angry. okay. gonna go shower and try to stop thinking about dedicated to people. I think Iā€™ve also decided Iā€™m not even gonna try to#talk to my Chattanooga almost friend at least not on the way up maybe on the way back Iā€™ll shoot him a text#it only cuts like half an hour off of my trip but like whatever Iā€™ll take that time over an awkward hang out with someone I havenā€™t talked#to in six months#ugh having friends is hard I hate it#Millie I love you. I know you donā€™t really tumblr often and donā€™t even follow this blog but Millie forever#gives me as much space as I need but then we randomly call each other and talk for hours and then go mute for a week again#send each other random pictures or texts or videos and then call in another week or two#and then we meet up in person and just absolutely love the vibes and then go back to being low key distant#I love it she is so awesome Millie ily forever and ever dude ur so good and so cool I am so excited to visit again even tho itā€™s only been#a couple months#okay Iā€™m back to ranting Iā€™m still thinking about it. we literally fucked and then he (dedicated toā€¦) rolled over and tweeted abojt thinking#about someone else during sex LIKE I WAS LAYING NEXT TO HIM#AND HE TWEETED THAT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. Not to mention all the just so so clearly ignoring me and talking to dudes on grindr while I was#sitting in his living room trying to hang out with him#still mad but I donā€™t want to be mad but I am still so mad he treated me like shit and I just was like yeah this is how having friends works#I was so dumb but I wanted attention and when he gave me attention it was incredible but so fucking rare but I actually cared about him and#he just didnā€™t care at all about hurting me while I was literally going thru the worst shit in my personal life like god I was so dumb
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mrfoox Ā· 2 years ago
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.... I feel bad bc my friend is sad ) :
#miranda talking shit#I feel a bit guilty too... I think thabks to my meds i am taking this better than normal but yeah#Fabian and me have only like spoken twice over the past month or two? Which is not much#Considering we have basically talked almost daily for years (a minimum at once per week) ...#The irony is that he implied that he was too big of an part of my life before we had this ... Break#... But as far as i know the few friends he have... Are the ones we have in common. Two irl friends . And me#Hes .... Been feeling lonely. He is now. He wants to talk to people etc and im like ): ...#I... Like oliver said 'i think fabian takes solitude a lot harder than you do. He does mind being alone' and yeah...#I think i may have unintentionally made him rely on me rather hard for socializing... For years hes basically only been in my social 'hot'#Zone. And now he have ended up in my 'cold' zone for the first time for this long... Like oliver said i dont mind solitude.#I grew up playing pretend on my own 80% of my time at home. Now i can get in isolation periods where im focusing on a video game#And literally not... Talk to anyone for a month or more. Then i talk to someone again and i realize i had been lacking social time but i#Dont actively... Feel it. I only get lonely at night badly id like to share bed with someone. But ... Yeah. Fabian is probably used to#Getting all this attention from me constantly and now im... Not providing it. Bc im focusing on other people socially...#I said im glad he shared feeling lonely with me and that i am here for him etc but...#I feel like ive failed him. Is failing him. Idk... I know its not my fault and so on but... My social... Functions have many downsides#I probably make people feel very special. I love to listen and ask about everything and encourage them and such. But then i can just stop#Talking for a long period of time and its .... Its never intentional but its how ive always been. Its why ive always kept to having like 3#Friends up until becoming an adult and now jts... Its hard. I love many people and i want to give them as much of me as possible at a time#So instead of dividing myself to everyone always... I give one or two people all my attention at a time
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jabeur Ā· 2 months ago
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whenever i'm with large groups of people i have at least one moment of Oh God. People Think I'm Either A Man Or A Woman. it's like getting shocked every time lmao party meme but it's they don't know i'm nonbinary
#he looked scared! like i might think badly of him or treat him differently!#i have many gay friends!#i did? kind of come out? to my coworker?#but i mean she already knew i'm gay lmao it's so obvious when you assume i'm a man that i'm not straight šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#i did have to make a split second decision to say either bi or gay and i said gay šŸ˜­ i do use both interchangeably personally#bc i use gay as like an umbrella term for not straight#but i know people tend to think of only homosexual and heterosexual lol bisexual people don't exist <3#but really i didn't feel like doing a lesson on what bisexuality is if it was needed so šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#my coworker was cool with it i was like i mean you probably know already but i'm gay lol and she said yeah i knew but it's your business#but um she was kinda outing our ex coworker? and i know she told me bc i'm obviously gay myself but.......#it's not cool to tell me when he only mentioned his bf to her and she said he looked scared that she might judge him.... like it's not cool#to tell period but especially since it was clearly said bc he trust *her* with the info#if they're openly out and the person already knows well ofc whatever you can talk about it but it wasn't like that so#but the thing IS....... that i only really realised she was outing him afterwards? my bad truly. i was uncomfortable in the moment#but for some reason it didn't click why til later#bc like at first i thought it was bc she said something like šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ girl. how should he know you'd be cool with it. we live in This Society.#so i was uncomfy like uhhh. and i said well i mean you probably know already but i'm gay too and even if there's a p high chance that peopl#will be okay with it in this day & age (i didn't say but. bit different for trans ppl. i'm not out as trans) we can never know#so it makes sense to be scared to say it!#and she was like yes! but i am okay with it and he looked so scared! i truly know so many and i love them even more than others!#šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ she means well but seriously HOW SHOULD HE KNOW ALL THAT šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ it doesn't work like that girl.....#i mean ? *i* never told her i'm gay šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ and i've known her for 2 years and a half almost. this guy worked with us for like a few months#anyway i wish i was quicker to realise bc i would've told her out on it like...... really not your thing to tell other people šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«#still. i am glad i said it. even when it's obvious and wouldn't need telling#it's NOT easy to like. know that everyone knows. not for me at least. especially with the added layer of being trans (AND nonbinary)#bc i don't think ppl i haven't told know that. i think cis ppl are quite bad at like.. knowing transmasc ppl exist lol#so i go by he/him only in italian (no other options lol) and i'm. not really completely masc and don't ā€œpassā€ super well but when#i present myself as nico and talk abt myself w masculine words ppl just either ignore that and go she! :) or think alright. (cis) gay man#and at work it's the latter after i've worked there for over 2 years. like i'm not out as trans so ppl draw those conclusions#i don't think it'd shock ppl if i said i'm trans but simply put cis ppl at least cis italian ppl dont know shit abt trans men and transmasc
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hereticaas Ā· 3 months ago
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aso-bi Ā· 3 months ago
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Me when I finally finish the commission I was k*lling myself over
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strikersin Ā· 5 months ago
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Dreams. Dreams. DREAMS!
The one where I'm watching a movie at Luther's house and she is dressed in almost Russian attire - Fancy, cold, and so beautiful. And we're in bed and I'm explaining my excitement over the Pathologic movie and later we have to deal with zombies but whatever.
And I'm playing with children's toys there. Everyone is so young.
Real life when we were read The Last Unicorn or something, something, at the cafeteria table. The book where the protagonist is taught how to keep her thoughts locked up tight like a box.
Ugh.
#so many connecting strings it's almost like it all MEANS SOMETHING#I just can't believe it. That it doesn't.#and all this time I've... I've spent talking about how our realities are different and how the rules are different... well#this puts that in a perspective that is new.#and it's <<what have you been doing for the last nine months>> from my dad#and it's my general lack of... faith in myself since I got sick. and more accurately when I lost my friend#I feel so stupid. for every little bit of it. for him. for believing in this. (I want to believe). for following my intuition. ("following#yeah. you get the point. I don't know. What Am I even doing. Obviously I'm where I'm supposed to be. I feel so bleak. I want this to be ove#the last NINE MONTHS> you know. the term of a . pregnancy#(pregnant with my delusions maybe)#I just can't even feel happy or experience things without running it through the lens of my father#and I'm worried about him I. want to make sure he's okay and I want him to be safe and happy#it doesn't matter if I KILL MYSELF. it's just too expensive to do so right now and I have a responsibility in Kira. I mean. I do.#Icy telling me that it's going to be March and then for March to be a whirlwind of grief and pain leading into my sickness#and now sitting with this deadline. I think about it every moment of the day I'm not occupied.#UGH. thinking about my hospital bill. that I shouldn't fucking have for a procedure I didn't fucking need. Glad that experience is over.#UGH.#and now back to limerence#what about the dream where I'm actually fucking competent and my method of doing things helps save everyone who was incapacitated#in a very cool Top Gun style.#God. Damn it.#GOD DAMN IT#What am I supposed to do though?? I'm meant to keep living and push on from all of that. How am I supposed to let that go?#I mean everything I hoped and believed in? It's just getting pushed off to accommodate the timeline?#I mean fine? But what?#I was drifting for so long and now?? I'm both healing and losing my mind. man.#God. I'm really disappointed.#nd I have a really hard time doing or accepting nice things for myself because of the Dad Filter#individuate kid. c'mon it doesn't matter what he thinks about your interpersonal relationships#not to mention I have no idea what's going on in his mind. although it's surprising that I did manage to clock what was bothering him
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blue-champion Ā· 8 months ago
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Being chaotic again <3
Made something silly about my current health because jokes are how I cope!!
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julesnichols Ā· 1 year ago
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Y'know. There were several ups and downs when I was working for the mouse, and the downs were always really, really bad. But like also I'm glad for them because four years ago I absolutely would not have said SHIT about being given a shift that conflicts with my availability and just worked it hoping it never happened again. Now I will talk to all four fucking managers who work throughout the entire day I've been here until one of them listens instead of pushing back and getting pissy about me saying it's not my fault and sure, I'll try to find coverage to be nice, but not my fucking problem if I can't find it, can't work the shift, they can't mark me as a no show and they can die mad about it because they should've thought about it before giving me a shift I can't work šŸ¤·
#vent#obvs i said all that in more professional language#but like i was fucking firm about it that yeah i'll humor them and ask around but that's also not my job bc it wasn't my mistake#so if they end up understaffed sucks to suck. only so much i can do if everyone i talked to was booked and busy#not my fault some idiot who makes more than me to do one single task on a 9-2 schedule weekdays only didn't have her shit together#anyways i am Proud of myself bc i no longer take shit#sucks that it took those lows to get to this point but y'know what? i'm grateful#wish i could've learned these lessons a different way#obvs. but i am glad that i did learn them#anyways today sucked but i got almost 7.5 paid hours instead of the 6.5 i was originally supposed to get so āœŒļø#somewhat makes up for me needing to call out last sunday lmao#also i put up with soooo much shit i am a Team Player if i refuse to back down and choose a hill to die on it means smth to me#extend me to a 10 and a half hour shift and only take a 30 meal break instead of the hour i'm entitled to?#yeah okay sure more money and the break schedule is already fucked so i don't wanna screw over everybody else#gotta clock in half an hour early and stay twenty minutes late? no problem i'm here may as well. plus money#need me to train someone when i only restarted here 2 months ago 4 years after the last time i worked here? sure. why not.#blind leading the goddamn blind and all that but like i also know what situations ppl have gotten most pissed at me in#so lemme teach you how to do some of the shit nobody explains the way they need to#so if i call out it's bc my legs well and truly WILL give the fuck out if i try to stand on them for longer than 5 mins#and if i say i shouldn't be the one to fix their mistake but i'll try a lil. i am a nice person i am a team player i can and will take shit#from them but also i am not a goddamn pushover#i know my limits and i know my worth
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ponderingmoonlight Ā· 4 months ago
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Sanemi lashing out on his pregnant wife only to beg her for forgiveness later
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Pairing: Sanemi x pregnant!reader
Word Count: 3,1k
Synopsis: Like every week, you find yourself on your way back from Shinobu's estate and your pregnancy check-up. Little did you know what horror awaits you at your own home with your husband almost killing two kids...
Warnings: Sanemi is mean in this one and I mean it, extreme hurt but also comfort in the end so don't worry, full Shinazugawa package regarding language and violence lol, not proofread because I have to leave now
Thank you sooo much for that cool request @itsmscoco and I'm sorry it took a while. I really hope you like what I came up with šŸ¤
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You rub your minor belly. For a woman, a pregnancy should feel like a trip to heaven. After all, you are blessed with developing a child that is half you and half your husband. Oh, your beloved and surprisingly gentle husband who always makes sure that you get enough sleep, that you nutrition yourself properly. But even the wind hashira canā€™t do a single thing against your constant sickness and pain.
ā€œPlease try this out, (y/n). Donā€™t hesitate to come here again if you need something else. You really have an unfortunate pregnancy when it comes to nauseaā€, Shinobu comments gently while giving your belly a little massage.
ā€œDonā€™t get me wrong, I am so excited about the honor of caring for a child in my own body. But honestly, Iā€™m so glad when this pregnancy is overā€, you huff while taking a deep breath in.
Please, donā€™t vomit all over the insect pillar whoā€™s just trying to help. Youā€™ve been here what feels like everyday since finding out youā€™re pregnant. Well, to be exact, Shinobu is the one who suggested that you might expect a child.
Because of your never-ending sickness.
ā€œOh, thereā€™s nothing to get wrong at all! After all, your pregnancy is a rather difficult one. But Iā€™m sure Shinazugawa is taking good care of you!ā€
ā€œHe definitely does. My husband is an angelā€, you reply in an instant.
You canā€™t wait to go back home. Even though your sleep-drunken eyes wonā€™t be able to stay open longer than maybe a few hours, even though you werenā€™t able to catch a proper glimpse at Sanemiā€™s part in the on-going hashira training until now, you canā€™t wait to go back home. Back into your estate, back into the arms of your beloved husband.
ā€œNot quite the codename Iā€™d use for him, but thatā€™s just what love does, right? I will send a kakushi along with you. Otherwise, Shinazugawa might show up and threaten meā€, Shinobu jokes while helping you to get up.
ā€œThank you for your help. Again.ā€
You pull the insect hashira into a deep hug. How lucky you should consider yourself for the opportunity to call Shinobu your friend, that Sanemi laid his eyes on you. Out of all the countless women around, the ones with faces like porcelain and bodies so well-formed you canā€™t hold a candle against every single one of them. But still, he chose you.
ā€œCome on, (y/n). Why are you crying?ā€, Shinobo whispers into your ear while rubbing small circles onto your back.
ā€œIā€™m just a little overwhelmed from everything I guessā€, you mumble against her comforting shoulder.
Just a few months ago, you would have laughed at anyone who told you that your life would turn out like this. Of course, youā€™ve lost countless good friends and family members on the way and living with a suborn husband like Sanemi isnā€™t always easy. But somehow, the two of you always make it work.
Right?
-at the wind hashira estate-
ā€œWe are almost there. Are you feeling alright?ā€
ā€œOh, donā€™t worry about me. Iā€™m just a little tired from walking, thatā€™s all!ā€
Truth is, your feet hurt like hell. Shinobu reported about women who donā€™t even feel their baby until the second trimester. Why are your feet already swollen, your belly bloated, your guts constantly turning? And thereā€™s still so much ahead.
ā€œLooks like Shinazugawa-sama received a new bunch of trainees after the other corps members all landed in Kocho-samaā€™s hospital wingā€, the kakushi next to you comments dryly.
ā€œWas it really that bad?ā€
Of course you heard about the rather brutal training methods of your husband. After all, even the walls of his estate arenā€™t thick enough to stop every single scream from reaching your ears. But stillā€¦
ā€œIt was pretty bad. Some of the-ā€œ
Glass cracking. Screams from afar. Out of instinct, you pick up your pace until you dash towards your home, sweat now dripping from every pore. What happened? Is Sanemi alright? He wouldnā€™t leash out on one of his students like that. Something must have happened. A demon? No, itā€™s still daytime. But what is it?
ā€œHeā€™s back! Heā€™s back! That cold-blooded man! Lie down and pretend that youā€™ve fainted!ā€, a blonde-haired boy screams while almost collapsing onto the floor.
ā€œWhat are you talking about? Whatā€™s going on here?ā€, you press out.
Your lungs threaten to fail you, breath already tasting like pure iron.
Until your eyes find Genya.
Your guts twist and turn in every direction, almost force you to vomit all over the place. Genya shouldnā€™t be here. Out of all people, it shouldnā€™t be him. And whoā€™s the boy next to him. That familiar scar, youā€™ve seen that boy before. Is it possible thatā€¦
ā€œKamado Tanjiroā€, you breathe out.
Maybe that is even worse.
Your eyes dart around the area without an aim. Whereā€™s Sanemi? Did he find them already? They need to leave before he finds out that theyā€™re here, carry on with another hashira training.
ā€œPlease stop now!ā€, Tanjiro suddenly shouts while stretching out his arm in defence.
An uneasy feeling crawls up your spine, the dark claws of sickening foreshadowing. All you can do is standing death still right where you are and watch in sheer horror as your husband stomps out of your estate motion.
Is that your husband you love and adore, though? You know how untamed he can get especially when getting confronted with his painful past. It was never easy for him to see Genya join the demon slayer corps or realize that his mother could have been saved like Tanjiroā€™s sister.
But never in your entire life have you seen him like this. The empty shell of your husband, muscles tensed to the maximum and his empty orbs directed towards the two boys in front of him.
In this very moment, youā€™d trust him to actually kill them.
ā€œWhat are you going to do? Are you planning to kill Genya?ā€, Tanjiro continues passionately.
Your glossy orbs are set on your husband. Would he really do something like that? What if you witness the father of your unborn child taking the life of two other human beings? Your heart canā€™t take it, knees threaten to fail you.
ā€œHell no, Iā€™m not going to kill him. It would be easy enough to kill him, but since itā€™s against the rules and allā€¦Iā€™m going to ruin him beyond recovery!ā€
Until your blurry head finally makes a decision and allows your feet to run.
Straight towards the two boys.
Straight into the firing line.
Straight into the sight of your now maniac husband.
ā€œYou wonā€™t do any of these things, you hear me?ā€, you jeer at him with your new-found courage.
ā€œ(y/n)ā€, Genya breathes behind you.
ā€œHow dare you to talk to innocent children like that, Sanemi?ā€
The man in front of you furrows his eyebrows, hands clenched into tight fists while taking a step towards you.
ā€œGet lost. Right nowā€, he hisses through gritted teeth.
You swallow hard, all nerves now tingling in sheer horror. This is the first and last warning, without any doubt. The look on his stone-cold face tells you more than urgently that Sanemi isnā€™t playing, that he doesnā€™t want you here.
Maybe itā€™s best if you go back inside and pretend that nothing happened. He himself said that he wonā€™t kill them, after allā€¦
ā€œIā€™m not leavingā€, you bite back.
But that would mean leaving Genya alone. That would mean giving up all of your principles.
ā€œWill you act out like this towards our child as well?ā€, you continue while growing bigger and bigger in front of the two boys.
He might be your husband, the love of your life. That doesnā€™t mean youā€™ll always have to do what he tells you, tough. Instinctively, you clench your hands into tight fists with your glossy eyes almost piercing through him. Enough is enough.
ā€œIf our child acts as dumb as you do, I sure as hell will!ā€
Oh.
Your heart drops to the floor when a nauseous wave of agony hits you with full force. Sanemi is and has always been a hot-headed man who never thought twice about the things he said. But never, not even once in your entire relationship he insulted you.
Until now.
ā€œIs this really how you feel about me? We should support each other, you should listen to me as well as-ā€œ
ā€œSpare me with that bullshit, (y/n)ā€, Sanemi spits at you.
ā€œGet.out.of.the.way. Canā€™t you hear me?ā€
Itā€™s like you stop living for a moment. All this time, you did your best to understand him and his grief. Everything Sanemi does comes with a logical reason behind it, even though itā€™s hard to see from time to time. But lashing out at you like that?
ā€œStop being so disrespectful to me right now. I am your wife-ā€œ
ā€œRight now, youā€™re my problemā€, he jeers back.
ā€œAnd now get off my sight and let me finish this real quick-ā€œ
You donā€™t know what made you act the way you just did. Was it his cruel behaviour, the way his words cut through your heart like a thousand knives? Before your husband is even able to finish his sentence, your palm races towards his cheek with full force.
The world around you goes silent, frightful gazes glued onto you while you canā€™t stop your tears from falling anymore.
ā€œIs this how youā€™re acting around your pregnant wife by now, how youā€™ll treat innocent children? If thatā€™s the live you chose, Iā€™m not a part of it anymoreā€, you hiss through gritted teeth.
Suddenly, the urge to get as far away from him as possible becomes unbearable. Your feet start sprinting towards the estate on your own, carry you into your now so empty-feeling bedroom.
And finally, you allow yourself to break down and cry.
Is this really the man you love, that youā€™d give your life for? Your shaky fingers caress your belly mindlessly.
You canā€™t stay here. Not when Sanemi showed you a completely different face today. Not when this place doesnā€™t feel like home anymore.
-a few hours later-
ā€œFuck!ā€, Sanemi cries out on top of his lungs while dashing towards Obanai over and over.
Why canā€™t he get your stupid words out of his mind? The way you stood there with tears in your eyes, how he was literally able to hear your heart crack when those damned words left his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, to drag you into the fuckery with his little brother and that Kamado boy.
But why did he say all those dumb things, then?
ā€œYou seem off, Shinazugawaā€, Obanai comments dryly, hitting the wind hashira with full force again.
ā€œI guess I fucked upā€, Sanemi mumbles.
What if you wonā€™t forgive him for today? Your last words haunt him since the moment you left him standing in the rain.
ā€œI bet you can talk your way out of it-ā€œ
ā€œHell nah. I donā€™t think she wants to see me tonight.ā€
ā€œDid you ask her, though?ā€
ā€œWho the hell do you think you are anyway? Youā€™re the one to talk, not able to confess your feelings to Mitsuriā€, Sanemi barks at the man next to him.
ā€œBut yeah, maybe I should get goingā€¦ā€
Coming home never fuelled him with so much fright. What if youā€™re still angry at him, if you refuse to even talk to him? Or even worse, what if youā€™ll really leave him?
Sanemiā€™s guts turn in an instant, feet now picking up their pace with every step. He canā€™t lose you. Not you, the light of his life. Not when you are the only ray of sunshine in this rotting hell. What the hell did he do? The fact that he even raised his voice at you is unforgivable.
Finally, his fingers grab the door that leads to your shared bedroom, finally heā€™s able to make up for his mistakes of today-
His eyes widen in sheer horror.
Youā€™re gone.
Right there where your head should rest, thereā€™s absolutely nothing.
Panic starts rising up his chest, forces his heart down his throat.
Did you leave?
He yanks out of your shared room, eyes roaming around each and every corner of your estate. But you arenā€™t there. You arenā€™t here.
ā€œMy lady is at the love hashiraā€™s estate.ā€
Sanemi darts up immediately, greeted by the oh so familiar voice of your personal crow.
ā€œIs she fine, why did she-ā€œ
ā€œWith all due respect, I suggest you to control yourself before making any more insensitive comments to my lady-ā€œ
ā€œWho the hell do you even think you are you-ā€œ
ā€œYour earlier spoken words really troubled her and my lady certainly does not deserve that.ā€
Without another word, your crow disappears into the darkness of night again.
Sanemi swallows hard. Fuck, did he really hurt you that badly? He never wanted you to feel bad, never wanted to hurt you. Damn, he only wanted to show Genya and that Kamado boy their places. It shouldnā€™t have hit you. Out of all people, why did he have to hurt you?
ā€œI need to tell herā€, he mumbles under his breath before dashing towards the love hashira estate.
-at Mitsuriā€™s-
ā€œI canā€™t believe Shinazugawa said something like this to you, (y/n)! You are super far away from being dumb, after all! Here, eat another pancake and stay as long as you want.ā€, Mitsuri babbles while handing you another plate.
Your dry eyes are barely able to stay open any longer. All the grief, explaining, fighting and crying did apparently really wear you out. Good for you Mitsuriā€™s estate is near by and you just know sheā€™ll always open her arms for you.
ā€œThank you so much for taking me in, Kanroji. I really donā€™t deserve your kindnessā€, you sniffle.
ā€œYou have to be joking, (y/n)! Itļæ½ļæ½s my duty as your friend to be there for you anytime you need me! And also, I-ā€
Three violent knocks on Mitsuriā€™s wooden door almost send you over the edge. Itā€™s past after midnight, the time closer to the morning than evening. Who would knock on Mitsuriā€™s door this late at night?
ā€œDo you think thatā€™s a demon?ā€, you mutter in horror, both pairs of eyes set on the door.
ā€œI donā€™t think so. Letā€™s see!ā€
Before youā€™re able to stop Mitsuri, she rips open the door.
And reveals no other than your husband.
ā€œSanemiā€, you breathe out.
Tears start swelling up your eyes in an instant when a flood of memories crushes you all over again. Just a few hours ago, your husband made very clear that he doesnā€™t want to see you again anytime soon. How did he find out that youā€™re here?
ā€œ(y/n), can weā€¦have a talk?ā€, he mumbles with icy voice.
ā€œDo you want to leave me?ā€, you blurt out.
ā€œWhat?ā€
Is that really how you feel, what you think of him? That heā€™ll turn his back on you after a fight? He did say all those nasty things to you, though.
ā€œI think Iā€™m going out andā€¦cook!ā€, Mitsuri announces while sprinting out of the door, leaving you alone in the room with all that tension and him.
Him, the man you love more than anything else in this world. And also him, who broke your heart like he never did before.
ā€œYou have to be kidding meā€, Sanemi mutters under his breath.
You turn away before you lose your composure completely.
ā€œWhy are you here, Sanemi?ā€
ā€œDo you really think Iā€™m here to dump you!? You, my pregnant wife!? You canā€™t be fucking serious about that!ā€
In the matter of seconds, you find yourself surrounded by his usual so comforting arms that now hurt like daggers against your skin.
ā€œPlease, let me go, I canā€™t do this ri-ā€œ
ā€œ(y/n), please.ā€
His suffocated voice forces your eyes to dart upwards.
Instantly, your heart drops to the floor.
Is this really your husband, crying against your shoulder while pressing your body against his?
ā€œIā€™m sorry for all the shit Iā€™ve said, Iā€™m sorry for making you feel this way. Iā€™d never leave you, not when Iā€™m even lucky for calling you mine. I shouldnā€™t have dragged you into this, I justā€¦I just canā€™t stand themā€¦ā€
ā€œSanemiā€¦ā€
ā€œAnd I get that I donā€™t deserve you and that Iā€™m a jerk for hurting you. I know you couldā€™ve had every man you wanted-ā€œ
ā€œSanemi!ā€, you snap at him, holding onto his face tightly.
ā€œBut youā€™re the one I wantā€, you finally cry out.
ā€œBut your words hurt me. Is this really how you feel about me? Do you really think Iā€™m a burden?ā€
ā€œI was out of my fucking mind for saying that to you! Youā€™re my blessing, my everything, the sunshine in this rotting hell. Youā€™reā€¦Youā€™re my wife, right?ā€
That innocent look on his now tear-soaked face runs shivers down your spine, reminds you that even though he acted out today, this man is still the Sanemi Shinazugawa you fell in love with years ago.
ā€œI am your wifeā€, you press out before a new wave of tears haunts you down.
ā€œIā€™m so sorry, (y/n). So so sorryā€, he mutters again and again while kissing every tear away that escapes your eyes.
ā€œAnd Iā€™ll never talk to you like that again, I promise.ā€
ā€œWill you promise to not treat Tanjiro and Genya like that ever again too?ā€
Sanemi shifts his weight underneath you, his orbs growing hard again. Was this too much to ask for? No. Even though you love Sanemiā€™s rough side as well, he simply canā€™t do something like this again. Not when youā€™re his wife, not when you are expecting his first very own child.
ā€œI will. But only if these jerks leave me aloneā€, he grumbles before giving you a passionate kiss.
ā€œThat might be manageable. I want to go home nowā€¦ā€
ā€œNo problem, Iā€™ll carry you-ā€œ
ā€œYou really donā€™t have to carry me-ā€œ
ā€œOh, but I sure as hell will.ā€
ā€œHAVE A GOOD NIGHT YOU TWO! AND DONā€™T ACT LIKE A JERK AGAIN, SHINAZUGAWA!ā€
ā€œDid you have to tell her everything?ā€
ā€œSheā€™s my friend, Sanemi. Of course I had to.ā€
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Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenixĀ  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld
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irisinluv Ā· 2 months ago
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Isekaied as the Yandere Villain!? Pt 2
Part one
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It was almost 2 minutes before I realized I was still dragging the crown prince behind me. I quickly dropped his hand and looked at him, not able to hide the embarrassment on my face. Listen- Iā€™m committed to the bit. I WILL be the crazy jealous fiancĆ©. Butā€¦ Iā€™m still human ok. I just dragged a full grown man down several halls and a flight of stairs while I spaced out thinking about how Iā€™m gonna buy my cat premium wet food once I get back home to her.
Itā€™s fine, Iā€™m not flustered at spacing out about my cat, my characters just flustered because sheā€™s been holding the hand of the man sheā€™s obsessed with, thatā€™s all!
ā€œWellā€¦. Did you still want to dine and take that walk?ā€
I expected him to scold me for my mistreatment of Cressida, grow irritated from me dragging him along like this. Instead, he chuckles and threads his arm in mine, and begins escorting me down the hall.
ā€œAbsolutely, have you dined outside by the roses yet? Thereā€™s this lovely pavilion that I am eager to hear your thoughts on.ā€
And thatā€™s how I found myself under an impressive array of roses, all trained up and around a cozy dining area, creating a canopy of green and pink over an intimate tea table. The food was equally impressive, I had to keep reminding myself that the other me is used to this lavish lifestyle, to not gawk at the fancy tiny sandwiches and deserts.
ā€œWell? Is everything to your liking? ā€
Iā€™m going off script here, how am I supposed to know how the villainess would react to a romantic scene like this?? If my ā€œevil crazyā€ side isnā€™t supposed to be directed at him, and sheā€™s usually kinda distant and unsure around himā€¦. That means I should probably respond pretty curtly, polite, yet not really engaging. Butā€¦. Iā€™ve already messed that upā€¦. I guess I can be more genuine when itā€™s the two of us like this. He can think that this version of me is the facade, that Iā€™m pretending to be pleasant, and then will start to see what a jerk ā€œIā€ truly am when Cressidaā€™s around. Besidesā€¦. I almost feel bad for the villainess. She really just seems like she was shy. Who knows- maybe, if given the opportunity, she really would have opened up more. Itā€™s clear she loved the prince, and just didnā€™t know how to show it. So, with that thought, I made up my mind.
ā€œItā€™s breathtaking! Roses are my favorite flower, and Iā€™ve never seen so many kinds in bloom at onceā€¦. Plus the food and company leave little to be desired.ā€
There you go- slip in some subtle flirting! Iā€™m not quite sure what time period this is supposed to be, but I get the impression flirting as bit more high class here, and I think I can have some fun with that.
ā€œIā€™m glad, to be honest I was a bit flustered asking you to dine with meā€¦ you caught me quite off guard today, but in a good way.ā€ He reaches his hand across the table and places it on my own, ā€œIā€™d like to do this more often, you and I. I feel like the confines of our current arrangement have left us practically strangers, despite being engaged for several months already. Iā€™m enjoying just being companionable with you, even if itā€™s just existing comfortably in the same room.ā€
Ohhhh, I know Iā€™m the villain in this story but I canā€™t help but root for him- what a sweetheart! Itā€™s so obvious heā€™s been lonely, I canā€™t wait for him and Cressida to fall in love and have a couple of kids that theyā€™ll spoil rotten. And in the meantimeā€¦. Maybe I do have a bit of evil in me, because Iā€™m going to selfishly enjoy this handsome man treating me to lunches under roses and reading in cozy libraries while I can.
ā€œI know exactly how you feel your highness. Now, you mentioned a walk?ā€
We spent the afternoon laughing and chatting, and it felt nice to chat without worrying too much about my role. He asked me about that book I picked out earlier, and listened attentively as I caught him up with where Iā€™m at in the plot. In turn, I asked about what papers heā€™s been signing, documents heā€™s been drafting, etc.
The only thing I had to do was send glares to any young ladies we passed, settling my hand on his arm possessively, and I saw their eyes widen and faces disappear behind fans as they whisper to one another. I can picture this illustrated in a manhwa- the nasty princess sinking her claws into the gullible princeā€¦ hopefully all these ladies will start gossiping and we can really cement this evil persona of mine now that Cressidaā€™s here.
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When we returned to our separate apartments, I explored my rooms a bit until servants came to get me ready for dinner, and I slipped back into the frigid bitch persona. The servant girls dressed me in a slightly stuffy gown, but I had to admit, I looked gorgeous. I sat stiff and straight as they did my hair, forcing myself to be the very picture of cold indifference. I then dismissively thanked them for their help, then sat there awkwardly as they stared at me like I was crazy.
Ohhhh shitā€¦. The original story hadnā€™t prepared me for this. My character was a villain, yes, but a side character for the most part! How was she supposed to act towards her servants? I went over what I knew- the novel showed the villainess alone quite often, usually obsessing over Eric and plotting/stalking. It showed her with Eric, and how distant and awkward their relationship was when together. And then of course the numerous scenes with Cressida where the Villainess did all sorts of heinous things to the sweet girl. Butā€¦ it never depicted her with servants, or even any friends or other nobles. Justā€¦ Eric and Cressida. Was other me not actually a bitch all the time? Am I being unnecessarily rude right now? Oh god Iā€™m such an idiot.
The story is told through Cressidaā€™s point of view- of course thereā€™s more depth to my own character than I initially thought! The Villianess must be a misunderstood introvert! Unsure of how to act around her crush, sheā€™s fiercely insecure and jealous of this new girl who doesnā€™t struggle the same way she does. When she notices the prince slipping from her grasp, she acts out against Cressida because she canā€™t bear to lose Eric!
As someoneā€™s whoā€™s worked minimum wage jobs and struggled with social anxiety most of my life, I try to be nice to the people just working to survive, but here I am acting like these poor women are the dirt beneath my shoeā€¦. Ok. Um. Well theyā€™re still standing there in shock, I can fix thisā€¦.
ā€œYou really did a lovely jobā€¦ my hair has never looked so gorgeous, youā€™re truly talented! And I think the prince will be very pleased with this choice of ribbon!ā€
There- I was nicer, and I brought it back to Eric, so Iā€™m still the lovesick fiancĆ© whose entire world is waiting for her in the dining room. I frowned as the servants scuttled out of the room with hurried excuses, all of them looking like they were about to faint. Damn itā€¦ I canā€™t believe I misread the relationship between us. I probably just ruined their night by being uncharacteristically rude. Iā€™ve gotta learn their names next timeā€¦. Maybe ask them to help me eat some fancy pastries as an apologyā€¦?
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I didnā€™t know it, but while I was lamenting how wrong I was about the Villainessā€™ character, the servants were all gossiping to the others about what had just transpired.
ā€œYouā€™re telling me she said THANK YOU!?ā€
ā€œYes!!! And then you should have seen how nervous she got! She just rambled, blurting out such a sweet compliment, and she even tied it back to the prince!ā€
ā€œI had no idea how precious she wasā€¦ I canā€™t believe I never realized sheā€™s just shy! In a new place, all alone aside from her new fiancĆ©ā€¦. Who I gather sheā€™s got a bit of a crush on! Poor dear.ā€
ā€œOhh our sweet girl, Iā€™m sure it must be hard bonding with the prince, when all you do is sit yards apart and hardly speak ā€¦ā€
ā€œWell I may have some news about thatā€¦ and itā€™s no wonder she was a bit flustered today, because I saw the two of them in the gardens today! They were both nothing but smiles- absolutely smitten with one another!ā€
ā€œSuch a lovely girl, and we never knew it all this time!ā€
Apparently, I had it backwards. The real villainess truly was a 2D, basic character. She was insecure and possessive over the prince, bullying Cressida half to remind her who Eric belonged to, half for the fun of it. But she didnā€™t let on to anyone about the true depth of her love for him. She didnā€™t gossip to her handmaid, didnā€™t ask the servants which dress he would like better. Simply acted as if they did not exist, hardly saying a word to them.
While I thought my blunt ā€œthank youā€ was colder than they were used to, and then tried to smooth things overā€¦. It was more words than theyā€™d heard from me in the whole time Iā€™d lived in the palace. They lapped it up and declared me their own shy little dove after that.
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When I arrived to dinner, I realized why daily dinners werenā€™t exactly a bonding activity for the villainess and Eric. The table was massive, and only held two chairs, one at either end. It felt soā€¦. Cold?
Eric had beat me there, and quickly stood up from his seat, waiting until I sat and a servant pushed in my chair to retake his own seat. He smiled at me and said,
ā€œGood evening, princess.ā€
He had to project his voice slightly. It wasnā€™t like he was shouting or being loud, it was just the manner of speaking you use when talking to an elderly relative, clearer, and enunciating better so they could hear you.
I replied back, projecting my voice similarly, and found the conversation was, in fact, more awkward than it had been earlier. We ate our food mostly in silence, occasionally one of us would say something and the other would stop moving their utensils on their plate, listening closer as they ask,
ā€œWhatā€™s that?ā€
By the time dinner was over and we each went to bed, I felt drained. I could have just been louder I suppose- but itā€™s so hard to keep up a conversation like that. I know we get along- we had chatted all afternoon after all. But some part of me realized itā€™s probably good to keep a bit of distance between us, even if Iā€™ve rewritten things to be a bit chummier between the two of us. Cressida needs to swoop in and steal him from meā€¦ and my job is still to leave that room for her to do so.
Itā€™s hard trying to be someone else, yet also making sure you lead the plot in the right direction- itā€™s exhausting! I feel like both director and actress!
Itā€™s with this in mind that I launch myself into the softest bed Iā€™d ever felt, and passed out. My first day as princess consort, the Yandere fiancĆ©, complete.
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While I was getting acquainted with my feather bed, Eric was speaking with the head waitstaff.
ā€œYes, tomorrow, would you mind adjusting the seating situation? Iā€™d like for the princess consort and I to be closer together from now on. Yes, and ask my assistant to arrange my schedules like so, Iā€™ve detailed it here. Thank you.ā€
At the same time, Cressida was recounting her run in with the prince and I to her handmaiden as she finishing unpacking and settling into her familyā€™s guest apartments. Which, unbeknownst to meā€¦ was right across the hall.
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Aaaa! You survived your first day! And look at you- doing suuuuch a good job staying true to character. Nothing could go wrongā€¦ right?
Tag list for the series;
@bitternsweet @tonightwrites @confused-they @lanxianschoenheit @poptrim @siriuslyobsessedwithfiction @one-really-annoying-tree-rat @anonymousdisco @forbidden-sunlight
Tag list closed! Stay tuned for part 3!
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