#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.

[felixsslutwife]

only cry in the rain - cha woomin x reader

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶⊹︶︶

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶⊹︶︶

Days after days, we loved each other like crazy More and more, we hated each other to death We dared to promise for eternal love

୨୧ : only cry in the rain (2025) - chuu

୨୧ : genre - fluffy angst ??? school au

୨୧ : synopsis - you never thought you'd see him again. and when you do, you try everything to make him like you back. but as sunny days leave and rainy days come, all you've gotten is rejections. tears fall like raindrops, but to hide them, you only cry in the rain.

୨୧ : warnings/content - probably inaccurate to woomins actual personality for the most part, ending might be bad idk how to end it, woomin rides a motorcycle, y/n is a new girl, fempov (feel free to ask me to make a male/genderless pov bc i can if yall want although y/n is only referred to as a girl/she like three times n y/n's gender is irrelevant in the fic), lmk if i should add any more warnings

୨୧ : authors note - my second ever fic guys... i think its been like a yr since i wrote my last one so i hope this is good ahhhhh also im js gonna say the ending is actually TERRIBLE imo but i didnt know how to end it IM SO SORRY GUYS also i lowk dont think if this is accurate to woomins personality i feel like it fits kyungjun better but at the same time it seems too nice to be kyungjun idk pls dont expect too much this is rlly bad imo im not good at this stuff feel free to give recs for an alternate ending if u want lmao

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶⊹︶︶

The sky was a clear blue that day.

Transferring to a new school and a new city comes with its fair share of both excitement and nerves. This place wasn't as polluted as where you had previously lived. You had your head peeking out the window in the backseat as the car drove, the wind flowing through your hair.

All was going smoothly until some boy who looked about your age, perhaps older, drove past in a motorcycle. As both the boy and the car you were in stopped at a red light, the boy revealed his eyes to you. Just his eyes.

"Don't do that. I almost knocked off your head."

A mere second of eye contact.

A skip of your heartbeat.

And as the traffic light turned green, you watched as the love of your life and his pretty brown eyes drove off.

Your heart sunk. This was a large city. There's no way you'll ever see him again.

Until your first day of school rolled around. You introduced yourself in front of the class, and all that usual first day of school stuff.

You didn't notice him at first, but as you scanned the classroom for all the new faces you'd be forced to either befriend or put up with, you saw a set of deep brown eyes that was all too familiar.

"Cha Woomin", his nametag read.

From that day on, you did anything to make Woomin like you. You weren't exactly subtle about it, and you knew it. But it didn't matter to you, as long as he would like you back, or at least remember you from the other day. You found out his favourite snack was Pepero, so you would always leave Pepero and other snacks on his desk. You'd help him with schoolwork, do him favours... Pretty much anything in the hopes that he'd like you back.

Except... he didn't.

Worse, he rejected you. Multiple times.

They weren't full blown rejections. You'd never confessed to him, but whenever you tried to, he'd make up some excuse not to hear it. If you asked to meet up with him in private, he'd say he was busy. If you texted him, he'd leave you on seen.

But you weren't going to give up. Not that easily. You had thought you'd never see Woomin again, and yet fate had brought him here to you. That had to mean something.

Sunshine turned to rainy days, and the skies started to grow grey with rainclouds. Despite rejecting you, Woomin wasn't all that distant. He'd still accept the snacks you gave him, and he'd still let you talk to him, although he'd never actually pay attention to what you said. He seemed to always be subtly displeased with you.

You always wondered if maybe Woomin found you annoying, or even hated you, but you told yourself that you were just jumping to bad conclusions.

Or maybe not.

"I finished the worksheet for you! If you ever need help, just let me know... the formula works like-" "Can you shut up?"

You went silent. It felt like a crack had formed in your heart. An indescribable, tiny but sharp pain.

"Okay." You said. A simple, one word answer.

Maybe he did find you annoying.

Maybe he did... hate you.

From that day on, you stopped leaving snacks at his desk. Stopped helping him with his homework. You didn't even talk to him or look at him anymore. And at break one rainy day, you sat in the classroom with your cousin Hyunwook, ranting to him about how you'd wasted all your time and effort on Woomin, all while munching on the Pepero you would've left on his desk. The bell rang, and you made your way to your final class of the day.

Sitting at your desk, you overheard a conversation between Woomin and his best friend Jiho.

"Y/N's really cute. I kinda like her," Jiho gushed. "She's cute, and smart, and-

"Shut up. She's not cute or smart. She's really nothing. You can do better then her."

The crack in your heart grew bigger and more painful.

Nothing? Is that what you were to him?

As soon as the bell rang, you grabbed your things and left the classroom, running to the rooftop where you could be alone.

The rain was heavy. So heavy that if anyone saw you, they wouldn't notice the tears that fell from your eyes, like raindrops from the thunderstorm that was your emotions. It was like your feelings had materialised as the weather.

You collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. You were nothing to him. Not even a friend, not even an accquaintance. Nothing.

Your tears couldn't be hidden anymore as the rain stopped.

...No, that's not it. It was still raining. But something covered you from the rain.

Wiping your eyes and looking up, you saw Woomin standing over you, holding his umbrella.

He crouched down to your level, and using one arm to hold the umbrella over your head, he held the other one out to embrace you.

Sobbing into his chest, in his arms, made you feel a bit better.

"W-Why.... I thought... I was nothing to you..."

Woomin sighed. It seemed he had a lot to get off his chest.

"You were the girl with her head out of the car window, weren't you?"

Your breath caught in your throat. He remembers you from that one fateful day.

He then inhaled, as if he was going to say something that meant a lot to him.

"I... like you too."

What?

You stopped burying your face in his chest to look up at him.

"I just... I didn't want to get too attached. And I don't even think I deserve you after how I acted... But... I didn't think you'd move on so quickly."

"What do you mean?"

You didn't know the half of it.

You didn't know how Woomin got flustered around you. How he'd seen you with Hyunwook and gotten jealous, not knowing that he was your cousin. How he didn't want Jiho crushing on you.

You didn't know he had also felt his heart skip a beat as the wind blew through your hair, when his eyes met yours as he rode his motorcycle that one day.

"I saw you with Hyunwook and-"

"He's my cousin, don't worry..."

Woomin looked into your eyes. He seemed... sad. Disappointed in himself, like he regretted something.

"I'm sorry for being so mean." he blurted out. "I just- I didn't know how to express my feelings... and I thought I wasn't worthy of your love... I mean, you still wanted me after I treated you so badly... I.... I'm sorry. Truly sorry. I want to make it up to-"

"I love you, Woomin."

He knew, but you'd never actually said it out loud. Not until now.

"I love you too."

You buried your face in his chest again, still sobbing. But a smile lit up your face now, and you cried tears of joy as Woomin's fingers ran soothingly through your hair.

"Days after days, we were overwhelmed with joy More and more, we were hurt and sad We were in a world for two"

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶⊹︶︶

[pyropsychiccollector]

yo its been a bit but im back again with the nagi harem question. so i was on tumblr and saw ur post on hiromi and it got me thinkin on how theyd react to her. like in canon everything kinda just, blew over. Like everything she did and even trying to burn the school building down and just the talk at the end of the festival thing and that was it (i dont remember too much, i dont like her and its been a bit since ive watched AC). In canon im guessing everyone didnt wanna interfere too much, cause its his family stuff. But if he's got a protective harem then it might take a bit of effort to get them to not do anything to her, especially the ones also coming from terrible parents.

Its nagisa so he would still care about her like

Nagi: "ik she can be... reactive, but shes still my mom. I cant just leave her..."

Koro "He's right, while its understanable you would be upset with her, the issue lies between her and nagisa. Trying to force anything may set her off.

...

But if you still plan on anything remember that making a good first impression on your parnters parents is a big step for a relationship :)"

Kaede-chan is, frankly, terrified of Hiromi. ^^;;; Once you get past her arc with the tentacles, there's nothing protecting her from that crazy woman. ... Even if Hiromi does mellow out and isn't prone to... screaming as much anymore. Kaede-chan doesn't wanna poke that slumbering bear, and prefers keeping Nagisa from "home" as long as possible~... She tries being open-minded for Yukiko-chan and Nagisa's sake, but she's very leery. After all, she left her sister to someone like Yanagisawa, and that ended up badly... ^^;;;

Yukiko is one of the ones with most experience in working with difficult parents. She understands Nagisa's feelings the most about wanting to stay with Hiromi, even if his mom has hurt him over the years.

Rio-chan's at the forefront of those not okay with Hiromi, even after she mellows down. Kinda hard to "forgive and forget" when the mom goes and dresses Nagisa up like a girl for years, making him grow his hair out and act like he's the "girl" Hiromi always wanted... Rio might be guilty with regards to crossdressing Nagisa, too... But that was never serious for her or a jab at Nagisa's manhood or anything like that. She might tolerate Hiromi because Nagisa wants them to try getting along with her, but Rio's always on the watch for any relapsing.

Rinka's kinda like Rio in that regard. ^^;;; She's used to strict parents, too, but what Hiromi did was... very extreme. She'll grudgingly give Hiromi a chance cuz Nagisa wants them to, but Rinka is definitely keeping a watchful eye out...

Yuzuki-chan... Probably closest to a neutral party you'll get. She doesn't like that Hiromi's been abusive for years, so she understands where Kaede, Rio, and Rinka are coming from with their distrust. But she can also understand Yukiko and Nagisa wanting to give second chances. Yuzuki tries going with what everyone agrees with, as much as possible.

Touka-chan... She's in Kaede, Rio, and Rinka's camp. Doesn't forgive easily. And like Rio and Rinka, Touka isn't above speaking her mind when Hiromi gets frustrated with Nagisa about something. Doesn't want any relapses to happen here; no more crossdressing, accept Nagisa for who he is. :3

[aestheticvoyage2025]

Day 88: Sunday March 30, 2025 - "In and Out"

15 minutes ago the basketball season ended - not with excitement, but with a few hours of hopeful anxiety that never amounted to anything and then it was over. Im sure I'll watch the press conference interviews and find some comfort in whatever Izzo says about team and love and what its all for. Its all gentleman's practice - seeing how he leads and weaves through heartbreak. Tonight I'll watch Friday Night Lights maybe and wonder if thats the story thats being told here - about how dominant they'll be next year and how they were able to win because they lost. How in this crazy world, the one thats still doing it old school can be successful, by being different. How they can be even better if they stay together and build a legacy around that. Those who stay will be champions; we keep hoping. Its something to hang it all on to get over it and I can find some hope in that, as I hum the alma mater and whimper one last go green go white as the clock runs out. I suppose CBS did me a favor by not showing them cut down the nets, and I dont have to look it up later either. Ive seen our guys do it enough times and I really only need to see that if they are wearing green and white. I woke up feeling like they'd lose and was in a bad mood from the opening bell. The mojo was just never right and every time they chipped away, they'd fall right back. Can't win a basketball game with two steps forward and two.5 steps back. Very poorly officiated, yes, but with the home crowd too, there was just too much to overcome, including some late game theatrics from the sports gods and the #1 overall seed. When you know you're beat, you know. Ive seen enough sports to know - Auburn was a buzzsaw today. War Eagle, just too much. My bracket was busted with about 8 minutes to go and I felt like a terrible fan for not believing and for saying it out loud, and giving up on the vim, but that "trouble with the snap" vibe was never there. I can get on with it now, in the early afternoon, knowing I'll remember this day, just as much as I remember the one at my Uncle Dave's house in Lansing in 1999 when they lost to Duke (the infamous one where the couches burned) knowing that the next year, they ran it back - and I can be grateful for the year then that they got it in 2000, back when I was a freshman in college, 25 years ago. Its one of the few team championships that I've experienced and really relished... up there with the Blues winning the cup, Magglio's walk off, that 4th down STUFF in the Rose Bowl, Freeze's 11th inning homer and "see you tomorrow night" and that time we destroyed Hope for a ring. Maybe theres a heat in the freezing today that I'll look back on, but for now Im a little buzzed and broken after a game that Sparty never led and played from behind until the very end. I had so much hope for this team that I picked them in my bracket, a long time no-no.... Ironic that they lost by less than 8, because for 2 hours today, we couldn't get over that hump. No bit of tossing the margarita ball, or the green pickle plate, or magic hits could break the voodoo. Auburn was just too damn good, at home, and they won the weekend. Sparty goes packing again this season, it will be six months before they're doing it again and the expectations will be sky high knowing that for all the GD in and outs, this game could have just as easily gone our way, if it was meant to. And I can tell, it wasn't meant to. I trust that. Its all part of the story. And today, I hung on every page, hoping for it to go the way I wanted - - - fully understanding that the world don't work like that. A good story comes from a good character overcoming conflict to get what they want. I hope so - because this has all the makings of that great story where Spartan legends are made.

Song: King Marino - Final Round

Quote: "It turns out that the deepest gifts are right next to the deepest wounds. So if we take the ideas of rite of passage or initiation, when the person is going through the rite of passage, what is supposed to happen is a more conscious awareness of the wounds and the gifts. And then the process would involve healing of the wounds and awakening of the gifts and purpose of the person. So both things are supposed to happen. And then each time there's a need for another rebirth, or another initiatory experience, or a crisis brings it on. Both things are supposed to happen again. The road of meaning, purpose, realization and spiritual fulfillment is made by repeatedly opening the wounds and finding healing. And at the same time, becoming more conscious of the style of one's life, of the aims of one's life and of the gifts that were given to the person and intended to be given to the world." ~Michael Meade

[crovanko]

PALOBO GANG NG SIARGAO 103124

if ever man na isearch nyo name natin dito I hope you guys see this hahahah im too much of a coward to face you guys as a group 🙏🏼👅 I hope this answers everything and gives you the closure I was too scared to give 💝

ts been two months but im still so upset awhhahahahaa idk why kasi im the one who ruined everything

i just cant believe that someone loves me to the point they hate me for pushing them away because I was too much of a coward to face them

im sorry i really miss you guys whahahahahah im so miserable

it wont be the same anymore kasi i didnt speak up ��� its crazy how u guys were the only reason why I was active sa anitwt lmao

i dont even play valo anymore cz it makes me feel sick to the core

i wish i had it in me to apologize but nooo its too late kasi all of you guys moved on already and im still stuck and choking with guilt

im good friends with the people i hated the time we were the best of friends now hahahah i never told you but you guys helped turn my frown upside down nung lumayo ako sa main cof ko sa room lol ngayong kami naman okay, tayo naman hindi 🤣

i really was going through a hard time irl because of my cof sa room non lol and naddrain na ako kasi di ko matanggihan mga kaibigan ko umalis or makipag laro

you guys made me so happy that time and I was barely paying attention to my irls hahahah

I admit that I hated it when people begged me to talk to them or play with them but with you guys I genuinely felt happy and kilig haha

im sorry i wasnt a good person when i was still with you guys hahaha 😅 but maybe us falling apart was God’s plan kasi 😞 look, hindi na ako nag ssnitch sa mga irls ko sa ibang tao hahaha

I admit that my gossips were part of the reasons bakit ang dami kong friends sa school 🙏🏼 and after that I stop telling them gossips and show them my humor na like cut off na completely yung gossips okay parang intro na lang sya unless its about them hahahah snitch ako I admit it

but look hahahaha it really is nice kasi my relationships are going stronger kasi i no longer tell people their business😞

so thank you 💕 i learned a lot and ill make sure to be better with my cofs hahaha

im content and happy now with what I have kasi it really is so fun here 👋🏼 but sometimes when i cant sleep i think of you guys and what couldve been if i tried to be better

I never thought na we would split up pa non hahaha even more ako pa yung dahilan 🪵 you guys accepted me despite everything and I love you all for that hahaha

you guys met me at a horrible moment of my life and im all goods now

I loved you guys thinking i could never lose you but God works in mysterious ways lol

binaba ko pride kong pag sesend ng lsm sa gc kasi naccringean ako tapos sa pag rarant hahahha I hope you guys know how important that was to me because I always swore to never be the emotional friend but the playful one hahahahha

it worked i think 💭 I was too bright and lous that you didnt see the terrible parts of me that I desperately tried to hide in fear of being known

I was scared of being seen as the way my parents see me hahahahha

despite me being that way – despite me thinking of myself that way, I don't know why i couldnt allow any more reasons for allegations of inadequacy

hahahahah I miss you guys but I wasnt lying when i said na i am a terrible friend and my behavior will do nothing but bring you down

[itneverlasted]

Hellooo Tumblr

It’s been so long (well for me)

I’m pretty confident my anonymous readers have now ghosted their idea of me or my page. I’ll miss you, just because it warmed my heart knowing I’m being heard from afar. :)

I actually don’t want to ruin this page/account bc I have such great yet sad memories of the things I’ve posted and reshared on here and it warms the younger me. I am currently now 25 years old and I’m thinking about making a new account… not sure yet.

2025 is a new year and definitely a lot of things I’ve gathered from myself from the past few years, the good and bad.

The bad: I’m no longer sweet (so I’m told), I’m not as soft and nice like I once was. My humor has changed. My voice has changed. The tone in my voice, has changed. The way I observe things have changed. I have a foul mouth. I’m negative. Many more ..Though, there are reasons for all of these changes. I’m not going to point fingers but it seems that there’s been many arrows in my path that I am trying to avoid.

The good: I am kind. I am considerate. I am giving. I am definitely louder (which actually drives me insane considering how quiet I used to be.) I can be very excited. I am curious. I am generous. I am grateful. The most important thing is, I forget that I am loved.

I want to start off by saying I feel like I can’t write anymore. I mean, I’ve never written anything great but I notice something you won’t understand. Anyways, 25, crazy— I always feel like getting “older” .. I’ve always thought it was a myth cause pfft, not me. I’m supposed to stay young forever—duh. NOPE. You’ll notice changes in your skin, hair, and body. Its saddens me to the core but I was just in a stupid denial lol. Also, girl calm down “25 isn’t old” I KNOW BUT I FEEL LIKE IM STILL 19 or 20. It sucks sooo much.

But I do like the benefits of being old than 21 ;)

For this part you can choose to read or skip. I’m just to lay it out about whatever comes to mind

I’ve gotten closer to my family a lot. Especially my immediate family, which I honestly thought there was no saving. Friendly advice with living in a shit home, it does get better. No matter how horrible your relationship is, it will soon disperse. It took many many MANY tries but you just have to play by ear when you get older.

Friends? God I’m so odd and weird. Idk how to, yanno, keep friendship without getting annoyed all the time (yes I know I blame myself which is why I’ll gladly accept the 2 friends that I have)…. I lied. I never know what “friends” mean. I’m complicated. I have one guy best friend who I can hang with and have been friends for with since kids. He’s super chill, a girls girl, and isn’t annoying. Then there’s this girl but I’ve drifted away from her.. we still talk, just not regularly. I met her through my job. She was funny. I do have a few of gaming friends tho. But I draw a line in that bubble between “online” and “in person”

Boys? Pfffftt. What even is that. I don’t see myself getting married either. If I did holy fuck.

My job suckssss but the money is good sometimes. Mentally and physically I’m checked the fuck out from that place

I learned how to play Minecraft a lot recently and now I. Cannot. Stop. My eyes burn, my posture is fucked, and sleeping schedule is still the same. Terrible. I still can’t get a full 8 hour sleep, not even when I was in school YAY :D but building a lot of cool stuff is fun. Fortnite is still fun ofc

I’ve recently started to love and subscribe a few people on YouTube. I was never a podcast fan but only for Bad Friends. They are so hilarious. Absolutely love it. Kai Cenat is also a G. Adore his videos and his shopping experiences at Walmart. Last but not least can’t forget CASEOH. Hehe, the best <3 those are just my top 3

I suck at gyming. Lifting weights is great and all but I feel like I’m beefy. I definitely prefer the High Intensity Hit Training. I love the idea of my whole body moving and getting my heart pumped. But I stopped going for almost a month because I got caught up with working 12-13 hour shifts back to back so I had no rest, no motivation, and no fuel. Then I went on vacation 3 weeks ago and finally came back and started my gym again. It definitely feels good to be back for the most part.

Omg I’ve been seeing so many people I know from highschool and if you know me, I PANIC. Why? I don’t know!! What if I say hi and I don’t get noticed back and I’m like ok great imma kms rn cause I look like a fool… But when I don’t say hi they notice me and I look like an asshole LIKE WHAT DO YALL WANT FROM MEEE. Also what if they judge my appearance or something idk what if they catch me in my ugliest form, no makeup, leggings, weird oversized top, and shitty hair LIKEE… do people want conversation during their shopping? Pumping gas? Working out??

I’m running out of whatever more comes to mind. Also bc my hands are cramping with how I’m holding my phone rn.. it’s 1:59 am currently so I should prolly dip

Maybe I’ll write again later????? In life?? Highly doubt it ¿?

[crazychaoticizzy]

Tay I’ve got a bone to pick with you

i’m a mad and sad and happy and all the emotions right now

anyways here is basically every single thought i had while reading this and I regret that it took me so long. uhm. it’s a lot jsyk

spoilers under the cut <3

i’m so scared (the mantra in my head as I read the first bit in Canada)

him promising to give her a better wedding is literally everything

Reiner poor baby 🥺 he was one of the only ones that loved her so purely 😔

honestly I think Reiner wanted a movie love story after playing so many and Y/n just couldn’t give him that so i think it’s actually bittersweet they aren’t together anymore even if i find it DEPRESSING that he still loves her so much

“I would’ve liked to take you with me, but I’ll get over it, ‘s long as you’re happy”

HELP WHY AM I SAD OVER REINER I DONT THINK I EVER LIKED HIM 😭😭😭

“Your love story had ended, but loving him was one of the greatest decisions you’d ever made” OH!

why am I actually tearing up right now oh my god

saying “you won” is crazy though like did y’all really see her as a prize 😭 i take back what i said

LEVI GOING TO THE BEACH FOR HER 😭

the fact that Eren literally just gets out of the hospital and is already hauling ass to sign autographs is so funny to me

OH MY GOD I FORGOT EREN WAS MISSING FINGERS WHAT??? NOOO OH MY GOD 😭

“Neither one of them could remember the last time they’d embraces each other” oh 🥲

side note but Eren and Jean’s dynamic is always so interesting and I love reading it but Tay you did not have to go and make me cry like that AGAIN 😒

okay guys i get that being loved by Y/n is a treasure but what is with everyone treating this like a game or something 😭 like being loved by her is a glorious thing but jeez give her a break please

“And when you looked at Levi with a loving, shy smile, Eren felt his heart snap into pieces.” there are so many one liners and one liners always hit hard but DAMN you’re going for the throat Tay

… what’s Levi’s real plan??

“Thanks for playing along-“ WHATS LEVI’S REAL PLAN???? IS THIS SOMETHING WE WENT OVER THAT I FORGOT OR AM I SUPPOSED TO BE CONFUSED?????

Stop the complexity is terrible because i’m supposed to hate connie for killing my boy armin but you’re making me feel bad for him and sympathize with him

you can’t just do the happy flashback after all this depressing shit goes down

Eren hating the bees and thinking the school is out to get him is so real

STOPPP ITTTTTT THIS MEMORY IS MAKING ME CRY

ITS SO HARD TO BELIEVE THIS KID THAT MISSES HIS MOM TURNED INTO THIS CRIMINAL

life is wild yall this is making me realize that because like imagine that. like being so nice and innocent and all it takes is one incident to turn you onto a completely different path than you imagined. like so much so that people barely recognize you

(unnecessary rant sorry guys life is just so beautiful but also crazy)

another side jot but kids are so amazing because they’ll make friends with anyone just because they also like dinosaurs and j think that’s so beautiful

stop I FUCKING HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS SO SAD AND IT JUST MAKES ME DEPRESSED AND ITS TERRIBLE

oh my god is Levi gonna fucking die too

this is just making me so fucking sad oh my god

i think i’m just gonna start typing all the lines I like as I have been doing anyway:

“He would, perhaps, spend a lifetime trying to get over you.”

then talking about Jean reminded me of something you told me….. wasn’t he her stalker 🤔

STOP BRINGING ARMIN UP I KNOW ITS BEEN MONTHS BUT IM STILL NOT OVER THAT 😭😭

“You’re the definition of a spoiled rich dude,” you said with a teasing tone. “No way would I hold my phone over a body of water unless I knew I could easily buy another.” -this might be a far reach and me finding stuff that isn’t there but i feel like this shows how she was raised and how she still sort of thinks that way ykwim?

the smut was a pleasant surprise i’m not gonna lie 💀 i did not think we would be getting that at this point

“I don’t think we were made to just love each other,” Levi’s forehead was pressed against yours as he spoke lowly. “I’m starting to think we were made to fuck each other too. You’re taking me so well.” -gah dayum 🥵 straight out of a romance novel jesus

OH MY GOD ERWIN AND HANGE 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY THEYRE OKAY

oh my god bye that plan was literally explained at the beginning i’m just stupid 🚶🏻‍♀️

not me thinking he was gonna fucking die (Izzy later ate her words because he did, in fact, fucking die.)

it’s still so wild that one event can change the trajectory of someone’s life so drastically like that’s actually insane

i’m terrified oh my god

i’m so scared

i can literally feel my heart beating in my head that’s how nervous i am oh my god

imagine this being like a TV scene and there’s no music only natural sound and the backtrack of a heartbeat so loud it almost blocks out what they’re saying

(imagining the shots and those details is the only thing keeping me from putting the phone down and pretending everything ended when Y/n was still happily married to Armin)

I AM SO SCARED

BITCH-

WHAT-

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

OH MY FUCKING GOD

I JUST POPPED MY JAW AND IT FUCKING HURTS ON TOP OF THE SHOCK IM SO

TAY WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭

NOOOO OH MY FUCKING GOD

LEVIS GONNA FUCKING DIE I CANT

IMAGIN BEING HANGE AND ERWIN AND JUST WATCHING THEIR BEST FRIEND GET SHOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM

OH MY FUCKING GOD LEVIS DEAD

NO YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO “YEARS AGO” YEARS AGO MY ASS WHAT DO YOU MEAN

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT HAPPY MEMORIES AFTER SOMETHING TRAUMATIZING HAPPENS TO THESE CHARACTERS IT GIVES ME WHIPLASH TAY

i will admit “It’s not gonna turn into whiskey” is funny but i’m still mad 😒

MARIE MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️🗣️ (sorry i love her and Erwin and Nile’s dynamic it’s so wonderful so much so I wrote a fic based on it and no this isn’t self promotion ✨)

“I think romance is a waste of time. Loving someone is stupid, because no matter what, it’ll always end in pain. Heartbreak, divorce, death . . . It’s unavoidable, so why waste your time when you’ll always get hurt in the end? That’s what I think, at least.” Levi took another sip of his tea. “If I die alone, I’m fine with that.” -STOP BECAUSE HES NOT OKAY WITH THAT ANYMORE

oh my fucking god Levi’s gonna die

STOP HES APOLOGIZING TO THE SKY THAT MEANS HES GONNA DIE RIGHT THERE

STOP LEVIS GONNA FUCKING DIE

OH MY GOD

guys i can’t do this anymore i should’ve pretended Y/n and Armin were happily married when I had the chance I can’t go back now 😭

FUCKING CONNIE OH MY GOD

STOP

NO

FUCKING CONNIE

BITCH

OH MY GOD

LEVIS FUCKING DEAD

TAY WHAT THE FUCK

(excuse the limited vocabulary)

i’m so

stop oh my god i’m fucking crying

Erwin comforting Y/n is literally everything this is all so

i’m distraught

fuck connie oh my god

another side note and psychoanalysis of a character because i’m trying to distract myself from this BUT Erwin is definitely the type to not want to break down and in preventing that he carries the weight of everyone else on his shoulders thank you for coming to my tedtalk

STOPPP NOT THE PHOTO ALBUM

OH MY GOD THATS GONNA END UP BEING THE LAST THING OF HIS THATS GONNA BE TRULY HERS OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD NOW SHE MUST FEEL EVEN WORSE ABOUT HER MISCARRIAGE BECAUSE NOW THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING OF LEVI LEFT EXCEPT MEMORIES AND THE FUCKING PHOTO ALBUM

LEVI FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD

IM SO-

UGH

IM IN DISTRESS

i’m scared to read the letter

oh my god this trope is my demise it’s so good and hits every time but it always hurts so bad

OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT TO BE WORRIED ABOUT LEVIS PLAN HE PLANNED ON FUCKING DYING

oh my fucking god

YOU WERE MY ONE TRUE LOVE AND I WILL NEVER REGRET DYING FOR YOU

“But if that doesn’t happen and you kill me, then I forgive you.” -I don’t have enough crying reaction images for this (false)

i don’t even know what to say oh my god

THREE YEARS???? TF YOU MEAN THREE YEARS????????

oh my god is his blond guy Erwin?? did Y/n start her own record company too???? she really did become Connie copy and paste

ARLERT RECORDS STOP IT

OH MY GOD

STOP

I CANNOT

i keep getting hit with waves of sadness because i keep remembering scenes and things that happened and I am so unwell

“He didn’t mind one bit. After all, there weren’t any silent men around to abuse him, and he was no longer living in someone’s shadow.” -this feels so healing because there’s so many people thatve been hurt by Connie here and even if Y/n hasn’t had the best relationship with them she still wanted them with her it’s so-

ACKERMAN STUDIOS STOP- I KNOW ITS MOSTLY BECAUSE OF LEVI BUT ALSO MIKASA OH MY GOD

seeing who she became is so sad and terrible and once again brings me to my life is crazy and it’s wild how a couple things can change a person so drastically 😔

“and enough money to buy a new car if this one doesn’t pull through” -is so funny to me 💀

BUT ALSO ITS SAD BECAUSE REMEMBER HOW SHE WAS TELLING LEVI THAT BEING ABLE TO HOLD HER PHONE OVER WATER ISNT SOMETHING SHED DO UNLESS SHE KNEW SHE COULD BUY A NEW ONE AND HOW I WAS JUST SAYING THAT IT WAS SHOWING SHE STILL HELD THOSE IDEAS AND WAYS SHE LIVED BY WHEN SHE WAS POOR IN NEW YORK ITS SO-

thanks for reminding me about Mikasa and her unrequited love and how she left to travel the world again i really appreciate it 🥲

stop talking about everyone it’s making me so fucking sad-

great i’m crying again

FUCKING CONNIE THEY FOUND THAT BITCH 🎉🎉

unrelated but imagine how Armin would have felt seeing who Y/n became and i feel like he’d lowkey blame himself for part of it 😭

the ring 🥺

i’m fucking crying again oh my god-

it’s the way i keep needing to take breaks to cry and then immediately return to crying once i start reading again

i really like that she didn’t get remarried to someone for a while

THE FUCKING BOOKMARK

tay this isn’t okay you can’t keep doing this

STOP LEVI TRYING TO HELP EREN PLAN I CANT- IM SO MAD LEVI FUCKING KNEW AHHH

connie just went to prison and i’m so

i don’t even know how to feel or what to say

the complexity of people is so crazy and i feel like you capture that so well because the fact that Connie doesn’t beg but he begged to not be sent to prison speaks volumes about what happened and how much it truly affected him when he was a kid

unrelated and once again me trying to distract myself from being so sad but imagine Eren having flashbacks when he and Y/n are walking down the street and he’s on like higher alert because he doesn’t want what happened with Armin to happen with her anyways

am i dumb what do his clothes symbolize 🧍🏻‍♀️

fucking connie i hate that bitch but god damn if he didn’t develop

“I think I need to leave L. A. for a while” IS SHE GONNA GO BACK TO NEW YORK AND THE BAKERY WHERE IT ALL STARTED. FULL EVELYN HUGO CIRCLE???

Eren and I could never be friends because how can you not wrap your head around the sweet tea obsession when what you’re drinking is leaf flavored 😒

off topic but why the south. I mean i guess because of Reiner’s influence but why the south i live down there and hate it it’s so hot and gross 😭

at this point I know Eren is gonna be her end game and I think that’s so meaningful because like…. look at how they started. not the best. straight up ended the relationship with the love of her life without remorse but NOW HE DOES SORTA FEEL REMORSE AND HE BONDED WITH ARMIN BUT NOW ARMINS DEAD AND THATS LIKE ANOTHER LAYER OF EMOTIONAL BONDING THEY HAVE

anyways Eren’s development is also wonderful and fantastically done well written Tay

fun fact i’ve never had peach cobbler because i’m scared of trying new foods and i’ve never had peaches before 👍🏼

they’re so cute🥺

also i LOVEEEE that you’re showing her healing journey and didn’t just end her telling her daughter with Connie being locked up because SO MANY BOOKS AND FICS DO THAT AND IT MAKES ME SO UPSET

anyways

oh my god is he gonna propose (i’m at the part where they need to go to the store for food)

her breaking down because of Eren being gone so long oh my god

i love when writers (you) show development like this but OH MY GOD IT MAKES ME SO SAD

THE STRAWBERRY CHICKEN SALAD 😭😭😭

off topic but that sounds genuinely disgusting have you actually had that Tay and is it good because it sounds repulsing. strawberries and chicken???? what???? ew???

(perhaps a bias because i don’t actually like strawberries 💀)

“Love, in its truest and purest form, doesn’t simply die.”

HE HAD THE PEN ONCE AGAIN AND HE WAS DETERMINED TO WRITE THIS NEW FAIRY TALE PROPERLY ‼️

wait the fact that Eren is incorporating everyone she’s ever loved romantically in their life one way or another is so important to me for SO MANY REASONS OH MY GOD

first it shows that he is also honoring them because he was close with them, even if they were considered “competition” at some point or they hurt him either directly or indirectly

second it shows that he’s secure in their relationship because (and i could’ve totally made this up) BEFORE he was kind of a red flag 💀 like i remember him getting jealous super easily. plus like he literally broke up her and Armin’s marriage… BUT HIM NOW INVOLVING EVERYONE THEYVE CARED ABOUT IN THEIR LIFE SHOWS THAT HES GAINING SECURITY IN HOW HE FEELS AND THAT HE TRUSTS AND LOVES Y/N!!

OH MY GOD MIKASA!!!

unrelated once again but imagine how sad she is 😭 like damn not only did she not get the love of her life (she’s likely already over it but there’s still that sense of feeling there ykwim? like regret almost? like if she had shot her shot then maybe she could be in eren’s spot or something?? but also like it hurt to love you once but it felt amazing at the same time?? idk what i’m trying to say 🚶🏻‍♀️) but also her cousin is dead like dammit

AND YOU SAID IT FOR THE VERY LAST TIME ‼️‼️

ngl the smut once again caught me off guard 💀 ITS NOT BAD I JUST WASNT EXPECTING IT IT THREW ME OFF

WHICH STARTED WITH YOUR OLD FRIEND, IN A TINY BAKERY IN NEW YORK

bye i’m so done i’ve cried enough

(jk i’m reading the epilogue rn)

FIVE HUSBANDS

˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈 || 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐄 — 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈 ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗

˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗

˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗

˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗

♡ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: eren, armin, connie, jean, levi, & reiner x celebrity reader

♡ — 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Plans, promises, & proposals have begun. Your next marriage comes about in an unexpected way. The celebrities of Los Angeles are hoping for peace, but a war for peace has never been an easy fight, and this particular battle will leave you forever changed. In the end, your one true love will always win.

♡ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓: 18+ ONLY || MINORS DNI || DARK CONTENT — fem reader, modern/celebrity au, smut, heavy angst, marriage, divorce, pregnancy, cheating, grief, violence & blood, gun mentions, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of false imprisonment, drinking, toxic relationship, manipulation, stalking, murder talk, illness, hospitalization, & major character death. Some of the warnings listed here don’t necessarily apply to this part, but the series as a whole.

♡ — 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 25k

♡ — 𝐀/𝐍: Hi everyone! I can’t believe this series is finally ending. Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, commented, and/or left me a message in my inbox. It has meant the world to me. I hope you all have enjoyed spending time with my version of the aot characters and in their crazy world. A big thank you to @spicerackofblorbos for helping me plot the finale. I couldn’t have written an ending I’m proud of without you. I had to post the epilogue separately, so don’t forget to click the link at the bottom of this post once you’re done reading this chapter.

I hope you all enjoy the final part, and please let me know what you think in the comments or in my inbox. Thanks for the support!

— CANADA —

Connie Springer was utterly sick of the entertainment news channels.

He had always despised it — gossipy brats who thought they contributed to society by rambling on and on about celebrities, secretly wishing that they could be one themselves.

Ever since he left Los Angeles that following morning after shooting Eren and that blonde-haired guy, he had done nothing but sit. 

Sit and watch the news. 

Sit on the couch and drink until the bottom of his beer bottles were dry, or until there wasn’t a single drop of golden brown liquid within his whiskey glass. 

His current place of residence was far from extraordinary. It disgusted him. Looked like his childhood home. It was a two-level shack where everything was old, brown, and smelled of dust.

But it was the perfect place to hide from the world. 

His other, more extravagant homes spread out across several different countries would have been too obvious, as right now, he needed to blend in, not stand out.

Even after he poured money into the hands of the Los Angeles police department and justice system, he couldn’t return home just yet.

He might not go to prison for murder — and attempted murder — but his reputation was still hanging on by a thread.

The only choice he had was to give everyone time. Time to move on and worry about the next Hollywood scandal.

Eren Yeager’s unplanned survival made everything tricky. 

He could yap to the cameras and tell everyone that Connie shot him. Even if no one believed the rockstar, his crazy fan girls would certainly take Eren’s side, and CS Records wouldn’t see another dollar from them. 

It also made it more difficult to blame you, which was the only benefit to having let you live that night.

Connie paced around the tiny living room of the tasteless property he had purchased just for situations like this, thinking . . . thinking . . . and thinking.

What could he do with Eren now?

Go back and finish the job, killing him completely? Force him into making music again?

No. That wouldn’t work. No amount of torture would work on a man who stared death in the face and lived.

Plus, fans would undoubtedly be paying attention to the warning signs now.

Thousands of videos with millions of views had gone viral on YouTube and other social media platforms detailing great conspiracy theories about CS Records. They took apart Eren’s lyrics, searching for hidden signs. Zoomed in on his photos to point out bruises that weren’t covered up well — Connie saw to it that the hired makeup artist at the time was now rotting in a refrigerator box on the side of the road — and, in short, everyone debated about what was true and what was a lie. 

Connie would have to clear his name soon. 

He’d have to work hard to save his reputation, if that was possible.

Then there was you. The bitch he wished he shot in the head that night.

He saw every clip of you visiting Eren at the hospital. Witnessed the footage of you leaving the police station, and he even laughed a bit at the Carrie White jokes made in reference to your blood-covered clothes. He saw the broadcasts detailing your residence with Levi Ackerman, then your reunited association with Reiner. 

He saw everything, and then he took everything.

Not only did he drain you completely dry of all of your money down to the last penny, but he owned every song you ever created. He owned everything associated with you.

And if he didn’t own it, he worked closely with the people who did and ensured that you wouldn’t see another dollar from any project. 

Your songs. Your movies. Your commercials. Your perfumes. Your Halloween costumes. Anything. Everything. 

It all belonged to him. 

You had nothing.

You were nothing.

The public notice of your divorce brought great joy and pain. He wanted nothing to do with you, the thought of you made him fucking sick, but after everything you put him through, who did you think you were to divorce him? He was the one who was supposed to make that first move. 

And to pour money into the lap of some divorce court to reduce a six-month process into one that could be handled in a few short weeks? It must have been Levi’s money. Were you in that much of a hurry to leave him? After everything you did to make him miserable? 

One night, Connie followed his usual routine: sitting on the couch with any sort of liquid substance that would burn his throat and numb his pain while turning on the entertainment news station. What he saw made his eyes widen.

The heat that ran through his veins wasn’t from any sort of alcohol. Not at all.

It, instead, was from boiling anger.

The television screen displayed both you and Levi Ackerman. You stood by his side, your manicured hand resting on his shoulder. You wore an engagement ring — an expensive silver piece of gemstone worth a fortune, smiling softly like an idiot as Levi spoke into the invasive microphones right in his face. 

“Y/N and I wanted to go public with the news of our engagement as soon as possible. There has been plenty of speculation and rumors about our relationship . . . our history together . . . and the only thing we can say for certain is that the two of us are madly in love, and we have been for a long time now.” Levi stared right into the camera. “Together, we’ve mourned the loss of our baby. It was made to seem as if Connie Springer was the father, but that wasn’t true. I was. But the only thing we can do now is move forward, let go of the past, and start fresh. And one day, the two of us will try again, and have a proper shot at becoming a family. We are-” 

The television screen went black as Connie grabbed the remote and turned it off. 

But he didn’t stop there. 

He threw the empty glass in his hand at the wall next to the TV, smashing the cup into a mess of shards.

The baby. It was Levi’s. Connie knew it wasn’t his — your doctor indirectly told him that — but now, he knew which lover’s child you tried to trick him with. 

Levi Ackerman.

And now, he had the audacity . . . the nerve . . . the guts . . . to marry you.

Connie wanted to kill him. 

He wanted to shoot him over and over again until the man had more bullets inside of him than blood. 

But he couldn’t. He had already gone too far by killing Armin and shooting Eren. And Levi wasn’t like those two. He wouldn’t be walking down the street holding a slushie. 

He’d be holding a gun. 

Someone like him wouldn’t be easy to kill.

But Connie couldn’t let any of this slide, either. 

An hour had passed. During that time, Connie paced around the living room, stepping on the sharp pieces of glass, which crunched and crackled under the weight of his shoes.

He then went upstairs, walked into the tiny, plain, and dark bedroom, and opened a plastic bag that he grabbed from the top shelf in the reach-in closet, pulling out your old phone to search for Levi’s number before texting him from his new one.

CONNIE: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

A few minutes later, Levi responded.

LEVI: I’m marrying your ex-wife. What about you?

Quickly, a second message from him appeared on Connie’s screen.

LEVI: Where are you, Connie?

CONNIE:Why would I tell you that?

LEVI: Why wouldn’t you? You plan on coming back to LA eventually, right? Who else would run your shitty company? We’ll see each other again one way or another. 

We should meet in person. 

Connie scoffed a bit as he started to angrily type.

CONNIE: You think I’m stupid enough to agree to that? You’re trying to set me up.

LEVI: Why would I set you up?

I witnessed most of the things you’ve done to other people and kept my mouth shut. We’d both go down together.

I only went on television like that because I knew it would make you reach out to me. I want to make a deal.

I’ll give you all the evidence I have against you. Every bit of it. I’ll even help you clear your name. 

You just have to promise to leave me and Y/N alone. Eren, Jean, and the others as well.

CONNIE: No

LEVI: Don’t you want to come back to LA? Go back to running CS Records? I’m guessing you’re staying in some sort of cheap hideout right now. You own tons of nice homes that you could come back to, and all you have to do is leave us alone.

If I wanted to kill you or get you locked up, I would’ve done it a long time ago, back when you first shot Erwin.

When you think about it, I’m the one who has to put all my faith in you. You could get the evidence from me and then kill any of us afterward. I’m trusting you not to do that, technically.

CONNIE: You really are trying to exchange evidence for peace?

LEVI: Yes.

It was a tempting offer. Connie didn’t know what kind of evidence he had, and while he could have made the evidence disappear from any police station should Levi ever decide to turn it in, the disgraced manager could decide to go public with it instead.

Ruining his reputation could ruin his business.

And with the latest chaos his name had been dragged through, he couldn’t afford to risk it.

It was a fine deal. 

Connie didn’t want you as an artist anymore. He clearly didn’t mind losing Eldian Devils as a band, considering he tried to murder Eren. Plus, he didn’t care that much about everyone else.

Best of all, he’d get his hands on that sweet evidence, and be able to destroy it.

He believed the idea that Levi would let him continue to run his company. After all, the man had kept Connie’s secrets for years now. He could continue to do so.

Considering Levi had slapped a ring on your finger, there wasn’t any reason for Levi to want to target Connie any longer for keeping you imprisoned. You were his now. Levi won.

After taking all of this into consideration, his hand rubbing his jaw as he sat on the edge of the disgustingly small, queen-sized bed, Connie texted Levi back.

CONNIE: Deal. I’ll head back to LA in a few weeks after this shit cools down.

—

— LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — 

Levi’s plan was rather odd. 

The man wanted to trick Connie into confessing what he had done live on camera, where others could witness it, and no amount of money could erase such undeniable evidence.

However, there were a few things about his plan that still left you puzzled, but your former manager would simply dodge the questions.

“Why won’t you just release the evidence you’ve been collecting this entire time to the public? Why do you need a live confession from him?” You asked one day, leaning on his kitchen island as he sliced into a loaf of fresh bread. 

“I just do. What I have might not be enough.” He replied plainly. “Can you pass me the butter?”

The next day, as you followed him around his backyard, watching him pull weeds with his gloved hand, you questioned, “I understand us going on live television and telling everyone we were getting married and that the baby was yours would piss Connie off enough to make him reach out, but now that he has, why are we actually getting married? Don’t get me wrong, I know we love each other, but I imagined a more romantic scenario-”

“When all of this is over, I’ll make sure you have a proper wedding with a proper ceremony, I promise.” Levi wiped his sweaty forehead off on his arm.

You smiled at the thought of marrying him, temporarily forgetting that, yet again, he managed to avoid answering anything. 

So, for now, you pacified your curiosity by assuming that, maybe, you just needed to trust him, and together, you signed those marriage contracts with the promise of building something greater someday.

—

Although you had often spent your days hanging out with Levi at his house, your current residence was still with Reiner.

Until today, at least.

Holding a cardboard box with the few items you owned  — only after refusing Reiner’s constant offers to let him buy you anything — you made your way towards his front door, shoes clicking against the ground, filling the silence.

Reiner stood there, faking a smile, but those gorgeous hazel eyes of his couldn’t hide his sadness. Even as a professional actor, he wasn’t so gifted when it came to disguising heartbreak. 

Running his hand over his subtle facial hair, he sighed as you approached him.

“So this is it, huh?”

“Looks like it,” you smiled kindly. “Thank you for everything, Reiner. And not just for letting me stay here, but for always being there for me. Our marriage didn’t last very long, but . . . you were a great husband.”

Reiner glanced down at his boots. The sunlight peeking in through the little windows beside his front door only made his pretty eyes seem brighter, and it emphasized the despair poorly hidden within his gaze.

“He’s a smart man. Marrying you really did get Connie’s attention, I guess. Though I don’t get why it couldn’t have just been a fake announcement,” Reiner loosely folded his arms.

“You’re forgetting that we love each other too,” you said.

Reiner nodded slowly, and after giving a short sigh, he unlocked the front door, and, like the gentleman that he was, took the box from you and carried it to Levi’s car.

You followed him, eyes squinting from the beaming sunlight. 

But, even so, you caught a glimpse of a small FOR SALE sign in Reiner’s front yard.

The southern-hearted man placed your box in the backseat. When he turned to face you, you asked, “Are you selling your house? Why?” With a shrug, Reiner started to speak. “After everything that’s happened, I can’t view this industry the way that I used to. Being an actor isn’t worth all the trouble, so I’m going back home, back to Tennessee. Back to my family. I would have liked to take you with me, but I’ll get over it, ‘s long as you’re happy.”

“I understand.” Although you were happy to know he’d be somewhere safe and would get to be a kind, ordinary man and live in peace, you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad knowing that Reiner was leaving for good. “I’ll miss you.” 

You were optimistic that Levi’s plan would finally put Connie behind bars. Then, Reiner and his family would all be able to move back to Tennessee and live safe, happy lives. Their family home, passed down from generation to generation, could never be returned after the silent men burned it down, but at least they would have each other and could start anew. 

“I’ll miss you too.  I’m gonna stop by every now and then to check up on you, okay?” Reiner grinned softly, “But I know you’ll be alright. We both will.”

You wrapped your arms around Reiner’s waist, resting your head against his chest. His muscular arms hugged you back. It was a warm embrace, like always. One you would certainly miss. There was no such comfort quite like Reiner’s hugs.

Although your time together was brief, it was wonderful. He was a loving husband who introduced you to unconditional happiness. Someone who forgave you for your mistakes and did everything he could to protect you. In your time of need, he didn’t hesitate to help you, even if your existence in his life had cost him nothing but pain and grief.

Your love story had ended, but loving him was one of the greatest decisions you ever made.

Levi’s footsteps could be heard as he made his way towards his car. He had to take a private business call while you gathered your belongings, and now, it seemed as if he was ready to leave and take you back to his place for the third, and hopefully, the final time.

“Are you ready?” Levi asked, putting his phone back into his pocket. 

“Yeah,” you replied, pulling away from Reiner. “I just had to hug him goodbye. He’s leaving Los Angeles for good.”

“You are?” Levi raised his brows a bit. “Are you going back to Tennessee?”

“I am,” with a pause, Reiner sighed yet again. “Big decision, but I think it’s the right move.”

“I see. Well, I wish you nothing but luck.” 

Together, you and Levi started to get into his vehicle. 

Before getting into the passenger seat, you gave Reiner one last gaze, not knowing when you’d ever look into his eyes again, and you said, “Bye, Reiner.”

“Goodbye.”

Once you were both buckled in, Levi started to pull out of Reiner’s driveway. The blonde-haired man gave Levi a nod, one that wordlessly communicated: Congratulations, Levi. You’ve won.

—

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky that very next day. How nice it was — feeling sunlight on your skin. The unusual chilly weather had finally started to disappear, and today, you wore a pair of sunglasses as you arrived at the hospital, a cold water bottle in your hand.

Truth be told, you wanted to stay outdoors as long as possible.

Ever since Connie locked you in your own bedroom as his form of punishment, you cherished every moment spent outside. It was thanks to him that you struggled with a Vitamin D deficiency, amongst other things.

“Do you like the beach, Levi?” You asked, glancing at the man beside you as you both stepped into the lobby.

“The ocean can be calming, but I hate sand. It gets everywhere and cleaning it up is a pain in the ass. Why?” 

“I was just wondering,” you said.

It was a lie, one that Levi saw through with little effort. 

“We can go to the beach next week.”

The smile that appeared on your face would make every dull moment of trying to shake off sand worth it.

You and Levi found yourselves at the hospital today to help Eren out after getting discharged. Truth be told, your presence wasn’t needed as Eren had his entire family to aid him, along with a team of bodyguards and additional staff at home to tend to his every need.

Even so, he wanted to see you. 

The rockstar stood in front of the nurse’s station, jotting down what looked like his signature. If it wasn’t for the excited grins on the faces of the three, young medical staff members, you would have naturally assumed that he was signing some form of paperwork, but as he handed the pen back to one of the ladies and they all squealed, it was clear that he was giving them autographs.

At least they had the decency to wait until he was healed before bombarding him with fan requests. You thought about that one nurse who asked you for a picture while you were visiting Eren, never considering that even though you were a celebrity, perhaps, you wanted a bit of privacy to grieve. 

That frustrating memory did make you wonder about something, and as you and Levi approached Eren and exchanged greetings, you tilted your head a bit and asked, “I know this might be bad timing, and I’m not sure if you’ve thought about it, but what are you planning on doing career-wise?”

Eren looked down at his three-fingered right hand. 

“I know there are workarounds to playing the guitar, and there are some cool-ass legends who had some missing fingers too, but I think I’m done with music. Touring . . . awards shows . . . concerts . . . screw it all.”

It was a conversation he already had with Jean earlier in the week. Eren’s departure would end Eldian Devils, as there was no band without him. No one could replace such a reputable band leader. 

Even so, Jean understood. He and Eren hugged it out as well, shockingly.

Neither one of them could remember the last time they embraced each other.

“I’m sorry. Must’ve been a hard decision,” Levi said.

“Nope,” Eren shook his head, smiling softly. “No one ever cared about my music anyway, just my face. And they can go to hell.”

“Wait, but what about your contracts?” Frowning, you added, “Are you going to hire a lawyer or something? You’d never win.”

Eren rested his elbow on the top of the counter. “Aren’t you two working on a plan to get Connie locked up? I’m hoping CS Records goes down with him, and I’ll be free from all of his stupid contracts.”

You looked at Levi with a face of uncertainty.

After all, his plan had a lot of holes — left you with questions he refused to answer. Missing pieces of a puzzle. 

Reiner and his family were moving back to Tennessee, hoping to live safe lives. And, now, Eren was determined to leave the company, both of them resting their futures on the promise that you and Levi were going to take care of Connie for good.

However, Levi didn’t share your worried expression. Instead, he looked at Eren with confidence, and said, “You’re right. Don’t worry about your contracts. Just worry about recovering.”

“So, what will you do now, then?” You asked.

Eren shrugged. “Whatever I want, I guess. What about you two?”

His tone was heavy, coated with jealousy that the poor man tried to hide, but failed miserably at doing so.

When he had heard about your marriage to Levi, all in the name of both love and luring out Connie, he couldn’t help but mourn what he had lost, and what Levi had won.

And when you looked at Levi with a loving, shy smile, Eren felt his heart snap into pieces. 

“I think that I’ll finally do what I’ve always secretly wanted to do, and write my play,” you said. 

Eren softly smiled at you. Then, suddenly, Eren’s eyes darted over to Levi, and his grin faded into a serious, gentle frown.

“Levi? Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah.” 

The two of them stepped off into a nearby, empty waiting room that smelt of stale coffee. The brown walls, cushioned chairs with wooden arms, and the flat screen television hanging on the wall displaying old reruns of Deal or No Deal were all drastically different compared to the sterile, white, and cold interior of the rest of the hospital.

When Eren sat down in one of the chairs, Levi figured that him sitting meant one of two things: he was still recovering and couldn’t continue to stand any longer, or this was going to be a long discussion. 

Either way, Levi sat in the seat positioned diagonally from him and faced his former client. 

“What is it?” Levi asked, furrowing his brows with worry.

After being bombarded with world-shattering news back to back over the last several months, he had grown to always feel anxious whenever anyone wanted to share something with him.

Eren couldn’t tell just how much his ordinary actions were making the other man panic inside. 

“Y/N . . . she doesn’t know your real plan, does she? She just thinks you’re trying to get Connie thrown in prison, nothing more?”

Levi was silent for a moment, lost in thought. He unintentionally scanned Eren’s black jeans, long-sleeved grey shirt, and low, messy manbun.

Eventually, his eyes darted down to the floor, and he sighed softly.

“Yeah.” Levi paused. He hadn’t discussed anything about his plan with Eren, but either way, he was grateful that he kept his mouth shut around you. “Thanks for playing along, but how’d you piece it together?”

“I’m an idiot, but I’m not stupid,” Eren smiled, but it faded away as quickly as it had come.

“Does it bother you? Knowing what I’m planning?” Levi blinked at Eren.

And Eren was much conflicted.

One second, he despised Connie, wanting him to burn in hell for murdering someone as innocent as Armin and for trying to kill him, and getting others to abuse him long before then. 

But, the next second, he thought about the boy he had grown up with, the silly kid who once never dreamt of hurting anyone. 

Connie was always smiling — always laughing. The funny one in the group of four idiots, he was. 

Eren had met the amusing kid in Kindergarten — he later met Jean in first grade and Marco in second grade — and Connie was Eren’s very first friend. 

—

On Eren’s very first day of elementary school, the small five-year-old held on to his mom’s hand as she walked him to the intimidating, terrifying school entrance. The bee and butterfly stickers on the door certainly helped other kids feel welcome, but not Eren. He was stung by a bee the week prior. The school must have known that and was out to get him. Bees were waiting for him in his teacher’s classroom. He was certain of it.

Eventually, his mom halted her footsteps, pulling her son to the side as other kids walked through the door after saying goodbye to their parents.

Kneeling, Carla smiled lovingly at her boy. 

“Okay, this is as far as I can go, Eren. Do you remember your teacher’s name? And her room number?”

“Uh huh,” the brown-haired kid nodded, hands clenching the straps of his red backpack. “Ms. Green, and room two-one-five!”

“Good,” Carla’s grin widened as she reached forward and straightened out her son’s dinosaur shirt. “When the teacher says it’s snack time, there’s goldfish in your backpack.”

“Okay, momma!” Eren could imagine the multi-colored cheddar goldfish already. 

“Here’s your lunch,” Carla said, giving him a small box with a cartoony T-rex on the front of it. “Don’t be scared, sweetheart.”

“I’m not scared!” He lied.

Carla laughed a bit, and then, she hugged her boy goodbye and sent him on his way. 

He remembered where his classroom was from meet-the-teacher night, and once he arrived, the kind, curly-haired educator helped him find a seat. 

Luckily, there were no bees around, and school seemed easy-peasy. 

About ten minutes later, other students started to fill the colorful, animal-themed classroom as well. 

Those other students were chatting and playing with one another as they waited for school to start, showing each other their backpacks and whatnot and making new friends immediately. 

Should he approach them? Show them his backpack, or his cool lunchbox? What if they thought it was silly? 

All the other kindergarteners seemed to naturally gravitate towards each other. Already, he was feeling left out and lonely. 

It was worse than thinking his classroom was going to be filled with bees.

Suddenly, a small finger poked his shoulder three times. 

“Can I sit here?”

Eren turned his head to see a teary-eyed, slightly smaller boy who wore a shirt with three triceratops on it. 

“Sure! You like dinosaurs!” Eren beamed. 

The other kid wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, sniffling softly as he sat down next to Eren.

“What’s wrong? Are you scared?” Eren tilted his head a little bit, and the other kid nodded.

“I miss my mom,” he mumbled.

Connie’s dismissal with his own mom wasn’t nearly as graceful as Eren’s was. He was kicking and screaming, but the five-year-old was, unfortunately, forced out of his car. He had calmed down a bit, but that’s when the crying started. 

Seeing everyone else quickly make friends only made the tears fall even faster, so he decided to approach the other kid in class who was also wearing a dinosaur shirt.

“I miss my momma too, but don’t be scared. We’re friends now, ‘cause we both like dinosaurs.”

Eren grabbed the building blocks in the center of the table, feeling happy that he now had someone to play with, and because he hoped that it would help the other boy feel better.

“Wanna play with me?”

The other kid nodded. As Connie reached for two building blocks, one red, and one green, the kind teacher walked by, caringly rubbed Connie’s back, and handed him a tissue for his runny nose. 

In actuality, everyone had assigned seats, but she wouldn’t dare separate two students who were able to comfort each other, especially when they weren’t causing any sort of trouble yet.

As the two boys played together, Connie coming out of his shell rather quickly, he asked, “What’s your name?”

“Eren. What’s your name?”

“I’m Connie.” 

“Do you wanna keep being friends?” Eren asked, worried that the boy might leave his table after cheering up. 

“Uh huh,” with a smile, Connie said, “we’re gonna be friends forever, promise?”

“Yeah, I promise!”

And, after sealing their promise by twisting their pinkies around each other, the two boys continued to enjoy each other’s company until class officially started.

—

“Eren?” Levi leaned forward a bit. 

He had asked the other man if he was bothered by his secret plan, but Eren failed to answer.

“Huh?” Eren mumbled, snapping out of his daydream. “My bad. Uh . . . it doesn’t matter how I feel. It’s the only way to keep everyone safe, so what I think doesn’t matter.”

“But I still want to know how you feel.”

“Why won’t you tell Y/N what you plan on doing?” Eren dodged the question. “Are you worried about how she’ll feel? I’m sure she’d support it. He killed someone she loved.”

“That’s why I don’t want to tell her. I don’t want her to be any more involved than she already is. If she finds out the truth, she might want to help, and I can’t let her come with me.” Levi looked away from Eren. He noticed how he avoided his earlier question but decided not to press further. “But, anyway, just don’t tell anyone. Let Y/N think that all of this is just about getting Connie to confess, and exposing him to the public so prosecutors will have no choice but to toss his ass in prison.”

“Okay.” 

Levi started to get out of his seat, but then, Eren spoke up again. “I know you’re already married, but give her a proper wedding later on, okay?”

Eren’s emerald eyes were glistening with such intense pain and sadness, that Levi could no longer make eye contact with him.

“I’m planning it already,” Levi paused. “It’s kinda stupid since we’re already legally married, but I’m going to do it anyway. I just don’t want our marriage to be nothing more than a way to lure Connie out.”

Levi went on to describe the details he had imagined, prompted by your request for a romantic scenario. 

Eren nodded sadly, heartbroken.

“Are you upset with me?”

“No, just jealous as hell, that’s all.” Eren pushed himself out of his seat. “Anyway, let’s leave. I’m sick of this hospital. Smells like peas and shit in here, you know what I mean?”

“Peas, shit, and Clorox wipes.”

“Oh,” Eren said. “Thanks for mentioning Clorox wipes. I know what wedding or birthday gift to get you now.”

Levi scoffed lightly with a grin, getting out of his seat. 

“Don’t you dare. I’ve gotten enough cleaning supplies from you.”

It was Eren’s go-to gift for every event dedicated to celebrating Levi. 

“Fine,” Eren frowned. 

If he couldn’t get cleaning supplies, then he’d get appliances. It was his second go-to gift. 

He’d search for a brand new, expensive, eight-burner stove later on. Possibly after mourning losing the love of his life to another man.

—

As the sun fell, darkening the sky that very next day, Eren’s mansion was filled with music, warm food, and celebration.

This particular party was quite different from the ones Eren had thrown in the past. Technically, this party was thrown for him by his family, and the gathering was more family-friendly than the sin-filled nights that often took place whenever lots of people were in Eren’s home.

Carrying a tray of food, you walked into Eren’s kitchen where he was leaning against his kitchen island, chatting with a popular movie star, a singer, and a few relatives.

A short distance away, you spotted Jean talking to an unfamiliar woman.

Darting your eyes back in Eren’s direction, a beautiful smile appeared on his face upon seeing you.

He excused himself, sat his cup down on the counter, and approached you.

 Taking the tray out of your hands and sitting it down on a nearby counter, he said, “Hey, you made it. Thanks for showing up.”

“Of course,” you grinned. “And guess what? I cooked this all by myself.”

“Really?” Eren raised his eyebrows in complete surprise. “You’re learning how to cook?”

“Yep. Levi’s teaching me. I made steak . . . fajita . . . quesadillas . . . or something. I don’t know, but it’s good, trust me.”

Eren couldn’t help but lean down and kiss your cheek in the most friendly way possible. Sorry, but you were just too cute.

He would, perhaps, spend a lifetime trying to get over you.

“Who’s that girl Jean’s talking to? She’s pretty,” Eren turned around searching in the general direction you pointed out discreetly by nodding your head.

“Oh,” Eren said once he spotted the grinning pair of chatty partygoers. “That’s Ava. She’s a pianist.”

“Hm. She’s making Jean blush. He seems happy. I’m glad he’s moving on.” Eren faced you again as you spoke. “Anyway, I’m so proud of you, ‘Ren. Your recovery has been amazing.”

“Thank you,” Eren paused. “So has yours. Not just from your illness, but you’ve been happier lately. I can tell.” 

You smiled once again, god — it was devastatingly beautiful. 

“I’m glad you’re happy, Y/N,” Eren reached out, grabbing ahold of your hand, and gently tracing his thumb across your skin. “I mean it. And I’ll be as happy as you are one day.”

Looking into Eren’s gorgeous eyes, you softly said, “I know you will be. And I can’t wait to see it someday.”

This time, you were the one to peck his cheek. Then, you both let go of each other’s hands, and you walked away from him.

—

Sunshine, ocean water, and warm sand filled your early afternoon a week later.

The gentle, crashing waves were a sight to see. On your hands and knees, you collected tiny sea shells along the shoreline for both you and Levi to keep. 

As you did so, you couldn’t help but think about your childhood days, on your hands and knees, digging through dirt and grass for cool rocks and interesting bugs with Armin. 

Dragging your thumb across a gorgeous white shell, attempting to remove some of the wet sand, you mumbled, “You would’ve loved this, Armin.”

“Hm?”

Levi stared down at you through his dark sunglasses. He was standing in the water, letting the waves crash around his ankles.

“Talking to myself,” you replied, smiling sadly. 

Then, you shook off the grieving thoughts, letting a real, happy smile grace your face this time as you searched around for more shells. 

Suddenly, you heard Levi’s phone click as he snapped a picture of you. 

It had become his latest hobby — photographing you at every opportunity, and not bothering to tell you beforehand.

If anyone scrolled through his photo album, they would see pictures of gorgeous sunrises and animals he spotted in his backyard garden, but mainly, they would see captured art of you learning how to cook — smiling in your little apron as you successfully made your first California sushi roll, or you in the middle of a fancy dinner, mid wine sip. 

There was also a picture of you reading a book on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. 

Or you hunched over Levi’s desk, working on your play. Watering plants. Putting on lipgloss. Laughing at a silly movie. Yawning. 

Whenever he had the chance, he took your picture, capturing every little, happy moment and potential memory.

“You’re the definition of a spoiled rich dude,” you said with a teasing tone. “No way would I hold my phone over a body of water unless I knew I could easily buy another.”

“You can,” Levi took another photo of you as he spoke. “We’re married, remember? What’s mine is yours. That includes money.” 

You couldn’t help but smile — and Levi snapped yet another photo at the sight of it, of course. 

“Hey, how about you take a photo with me, for a change?” You asked, eyes squinting from the sun.

Levi lowered his phone. “Why?”

“Why not?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Okay.”

You gave a celebratory grin as he walked over, kneeling in the sand beside you. Levi gave the softest grin, and while your own smile was brighter, you were both equally just as happy. 

It had been a long time since you had known joy quite like this, and Levi was certain that he had never known such happiness before. 

—

After leaving the beach, you and Levi returned home to shower and change clothes before heading out for your dinner reservations.

It was a lovely restaurant, one that was classy enough for you to not have to worry about prying eyes, as you were surrounded by fellow celebrities and wealthy citizens who paid you both no mind.

After dining on gourmet meals and sipping on fruity wine, you and Levi returned home.

As your back hit the bed, a giggle escaped from between your lips, which spread into a cheeky grin.

“Leviii,” you whined, reaching up and grabbing at nothing in particular, “Take your damn clothes off.”

Levi shrugged off his dark blue blazer. “I think you might’ve had too much wine.”

Tipsy or not, the moonlight casting through the big master bedroom window had illuminated Levi’s face enough for you to see his cheeks were a faint shade of pink.

“Think you might’ve had too much wine too,” you giggled yet again. 

Levi mumbled something you couldn’t quite make out, and then, he kissed you deeply. Sloppily, despite his clean nature. 

While his kisses to your lips and skin might have been rough, he removed your clothing gently, as if unwrapping a fragile present.

He ran two of his fingers from your lips, across your heart, in between your chest, down your stomach, and finally, made contact with your aching clit, rubbing gentle circles around your button.

He loved the look on your pretty face — eyelids fluttering, mouth slightly agape as sweet moans slipped out from between your wine-stained lips, which were the tiniest bit swollen from kissing.

When Levi suddenly swirled his tongue around your nipple, before sucking on it, your moans grew louder — he was in love with the sound of it. 

Your hands made their way to his hair, fingers tangled in his soft black strands. 

“Levi,” you whined. The call of his name was followed by incomprehensible blabber, which was only interrupted by sudden, loud moans as he plunged two fingers into your awaiting hole.

Soon, you would learn that his quick fingering was just the preview, as after Levi made you soak his fingers with your cum, he would then thrust into you with his hard cock. 

His rhythm — the way he hooked his hands under your knees and pinned your legs, fucking you in such a method that resulted in you alternating between gripping the thick, soft, pale cerulean sheets, and digging your nails into his back, decorating his skin with bright red scratches.

“I don’t think we were made to just love each other,” Levi’s forehead was pressed against yours as he spoke lowly. “I’m starting to think we were made to fuck each other too. You’re taking me so well.”

You shut your eyes, turning your head to the side as skin smacked against skin, legs trembling as yet another orgasm was approaching. 

“You’re not getting shy on me, are you? Look at me.” Levi moved his hand away from your leg and gripped your jaw, making you face him. “Look at me while you cum. You understand?”

“Mhm,” you hummed obediently, tears falling from your eyes from complete and utter pleasure, and it wasn’t long before you were gushing all over Levi’s cock. 

Feeling your hole clench around him is what drove him to his own orgasm, and he came inside of you, your pussy milking his cock for all it was worth.

As he finished cumming, he kissed you yet again. 

“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly against your lips, pulling away from the kiss to look into the eyes of the one person he’d do anything to protect.

“I love you too.”

—

A few days later, after having breakfast with you — your overcooked eggs got stuck to the pan, and Levi had to take over and make omelets, which was fine — you excitedly prepped the guest room for two special visitors while Levi left to go pick them up.

The irritated man waited patiently for the plane to land in the big, open area deprived of any people aside from him, his four bodyguards, and a few people who worked for the private jet company.

Soon enough, two people stepped through the jet door, one at a time.

“Levi! I missed you!” Hange shouted, dramatically pressing their hand against their head. “We were on that jet for hours!”

They practically jumped off of the steps, stretching a bit before running up to Levi and hugging him tightly. “I’ve been so worried about you, oh my goodness.”

“You’re squeezing me.”

“I know,” Hange said, not bothering to release the grip they had on him. “It’s called a hug. Don’t be a jerk.”

Eventually, the lingering, blonde-haired man made his way out of the jet, taking his time in thanking the staff members for the transportation and for carrying his and Hange’s luggage. 

Erwin approached Levi and Hange with a soft grin. 

“It’s good to see you, Levi,” he said. 

Eventually, Hange released him, and Erwin was able to hug him as well, normally. 

“You’re both late. What took so long?”

“I dunno. Slow jet, maybe?” Hange shrugged.

“It’s my jet, Hange. It isn’t slow.” Levi briefly glanced at the staff members who loaded their luggage into his truck. “But anyway, it’s good to see you. Thanks for coming. I know it isn’t safe, but I needed some help, and I didn’t know who else to ask.”

“Hey,” Erwin reached out, touching Levi’s shoulder. “We wouldn’t have come if we cared about danger.”

Levi told his two best friends his plan beforehand, but even so, he needed to make sure that they understood just how important their role was. 

“You understand what needs to happen, right?” Levi darted his eyes between their faces. 

“You’ll trick Connie into confessing while Erwin and I stream it live for the world to see,” Hange said. 

“It’ll be evidence no one can fully erase,” Erwin added.

“Then we cut the cameras off, and . . .” Hange didn’t dare to say the next part aloud, but they continued to speak lightheartedly. “And hope to god you’re rich enough to avoid prison and keep us from going down with you, that’s all!”

“That’s right,” Levi mumbled. 

He understood Hange’s enthusiasm. After all, Connie tried to murder Erwin. Even so, there was nothing easy or fun about what the three of them had planned, no matter how cruel Connie was.

As they headed back to Levi’s home, they discussed the finer details of what would take place tomorrow night, during which Connie Springer would walk into his own assassination. 

—

— YEARS AGO, CALIFORNIA STATE PRISON —

“After you hurt someone, how do you feel, Connie?”

The older, brown-haired woman crossed her legs, her knee-length skirt shifting a bit. “Do you feel a sense of gratification, or do you feel dread? Or regret, maybe?”

The chains around Connie Springer’s wrists rattled as he played with the clicky fidget cube in his scarred hands, hands that were covered in cuts and bruises from his latest fight with a fellow inmate in the cafeteria. 

A fight that was so brutal, it resulted in him being tased. 

Of course, the correctional officers could have simply pulled him off of the other guy. He was pounding an adult man’s face in, but even so, he was still a kid. He could have easily been lifted and carried away. 

But it was no secret that the immoral officers had it out for Connie. Around here, locked away from the rest of society, no one cared about what happened inside the isolating prison walls. 

The guards would ruin his entire life simply because their wives forgot to pack them a soda with their lunch, and they wanted to release their anger and frustration on someone easy to bother.

The kid trapped in an adult prison, for example.

And most of his inmates were no better. 

The monsters he was trapped in hell with had turned him from a harmless, kind, and silly teenager — who, once upon a time, had never known pain aside from falling on a concrete sidewalk and scraping his knee, because he forgot to tie his shoes before running to Eren Yeager’s house — to a violent person who had to be taught how to fight just to survive behind bars.

But it wasn’t enough.

He was still just a kid. 

A kid who never wanted to hurt anyone.

A kid who was easily targeted by everyone, and couldn’t do anything about it.

“Connie, did you hear my question?” The older woman spoke up yet again. “How do you feel after you hurt someone?”

The seventeen-year-old’s hazel eyes never once looked up at his therapist. Instead, he glared at the cold, gray floor.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled.

He had given that response to the last three questions she had asked during her attempts to pick his brain. 

“Try and think of an answer for me.”

“I said I don’t know.”

Despite his stern tone, despite the way he raised his voice, his therapist didn’t flinch. Nor did she completely back down.

“Tell me; when you hurt someone, do you think it’s justified because the world has made you suffer with an unjustified prison sentence, so you have the right to hurt others now? Even if those people haven’t done anything to you?” 

“That one motherfucker spilled his drink on me. He deserved what he got.”

“It was an accident, Connie.” The older woman leaned forward a bit. “Fighting can result in a longer prison sentence. Do you know what disciplinary action is?”

“Yeah. I’m not stupid.”

“I know you’re not,” she paused. “But now, you’ve temporarily lost a few privileges. Your friends and family can’t visit you for the next few months. How does it feel knowing you can’t see your friends and family for a little while?”

Connie shrugged. 

“Connie, honey, listen to me.” The therapist dropped her voice to a whisper. “I need you to cooperate and try your hardest to work with me. I’m only trying to help you. I won’t make any promises, but your willingness to help yourself can result in a shorter sentence. Did you know that?”

Aside from the gentle rattles from Connie’s chains as he shifted around a bit, the empty, gray room was otherwise silent for a moment.

But the lady was right. If the corrupted system was somehow kind enough to lessen his sentence, or at least, consider moving him out of the adult prison and to a juvenile detention center — where he should have been, considering his crime was committed accidentally and he was still a child — then they would talk to her first. And she would report what she evaluated.

Connie released a shaky sigh.

“You were such a sweet boy when you first arrived here. I remember meeting you in group therapy sessions, and you were trying to make the best of your situation. You couldn’t stop talking about your friends and how much you loved music. Do you remember that?” 

“Yes.”

“That was only one year ago. What happened in such a short amount of time? beyond being incarcerated, of course.”

The prison was rather cold. Even the therapist had to bring a sweater despite the hot summer sun shining down on Los Angeles, and perhaps, that was why Connie started to tremble.

No. That wasn’t it. 

His eyes started to water a bit, warm tears that brimmed in his waterline threatening to fall down his face, which was pale from lack of sunlight. The teenager clenched and unclenched his jaw. Lowly, he sniffled.

“They hurt me here.”

“They hurt you here?” The therapist repeated. Despite working in mental health for twenty years, she was unable to hide her sadness and concern. “Who hurts you, Connie? Staff members or the other inmates?”

Once again, Connie was silent. The therapist asked yet another question.

“When you say hurt, what exactly do you mean? How are they hurting you?” 

He didn’t want to cry. Clenching his trembling jaw to hold back tears had failed, as one streamed down his cheek anyway. 

If only he hadn’t said anything. Just what was he thinking? 

If his therapist discovered the truth — the unspeakable pain that he had gone through in just a year — then she would have to report it, and he would be labeled as a snitch. 

“I’m just messing around. I didn’t mean to say that. My bad.”

“Connie-”

“Can I go now? Please?”

The therapist looked at her watch, noting that he still had fifteen minutes left in his session. Even if she failed to get some sort of confession out of him, she, at the very least, had to do something in her power to brighten his ruined life. 

Could she convince someone to move him to a different prison? Or, perhaps, fight to have his old privileges restored, such as visitation? 

He adored his mom. Even his therapist knew that much. 

Maybe he would tell the truth to a trusted adult or one of his friends, be it his parents, siblings, Eren, Jean, or even Mrs. Yeager. 

Someone. Anyone.

That realization made his therapist ponder. She leaned back in her seat, thinking.

“I bet Eren would storm the entire prison if he found out someone was bothering you here, hm? I know your mom would be very upset, and she would do everything she could to help you. Do you think you’d talk to one of them?”

“I don’t wanna talk about this. No one’s done anything to me, okay? I was just joking.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of-”

“Nothing to be afraid of?” Connie’s sudden, sharp glare sent a chill down the older woman’s spine. “Are you fucking crazy?”

“Well, am I wrong? Is there something to be afraid of? Is someone making you feel . . .”

Connie dropped his head, tuning out the rest of her words. For the remainder of their session, he was unresponsive, refusing to say another word, fighting back the urge to cry as his thumb flicked at his fidget cube. 

If only he could have been honest.

 If only he wasn’t terrified of what would happen if he told the truth. 

If only someone could save him. 

If only he didn’t feel so alone.

As tough as he pretended to be, punching adults in the face, hoping, and yet, failing, to scare away anyone who dared to hurt him, he was nothing more than a terrified teenager who wanted to go home. Who desperately wanted his mom to soothe him, or his dad to protect him. 

But the boy would have to be content with only daydreaming about being saved as he drifted off to sleep with one eye open, because for the next few years, he would know nothing except for this miserable hell.

— PRESENT DAY —

Levi’s private jet wasn’t the only plane landing in Los Angeles today. 

Throughout Connie’s flight back to Los Angeles aboard his private jet, he spent the majority of the ride shaking his leg from pure nervousness.

Could he truly trust Levi Ackerman?

Evidence for peace.

Peace for evidence. 

That was the deal.

Maybe. Maybe not.

But he wanted that evidence badly enough to risk it. 

Glancing out of the tiny plane window, the beautiful city of L.A. came into view, mesmerizing high-rise buildings below a bright blue sky welcomed him home.

Tomorrow night, he and Levi would meet somewhere privately, and soon, everything would go back to the way it was.

Peaceful.

—

It was dark. 

The night sky had shown few stars, and the nearby orange streetlights, softly buzzing, were the only source that provided sight to Levi as he walked to the agreed meeting spot.

It was a shady area behind an empty building, one free from street surveillance cameras, as Levi promised Connie.

However, it was not free from the little tablet camera peaking out from behind nearby bushes, Hange’s finger hovering over the button to start a livestream as soon as Connie arrived.

It wouldn’t take long. 

Slow footsteps could be heard before Connie came into view, appearing from the side of a building in clothes as black as the night sky. His hands were in the pockets of his nice pants. Even when his life was falling apart, he still bothered to dress impressively.

Hange started the livestream.

Erwin started another livestream from a different social media platform, just in case something happened to the other one. And, as a last resort, they had a camera positioned elsewhere, which wasn’t broadcasting anything, but was for safekeeping, rather.

Thousands of confused fans of Eldian Devils and Levi Ackerman flooded either one of the two live streams. 

After all, he never streamed anything.

The last time a notification such as this one appeared on their phones from Levi’s accounts, was when a drunk Eren Yeager had opened his manager’s phone and started a broadcast without his permission. 

That was years ago.

“Do you have it?” Connie asked, staring into Levi’s suspicious, glistening eyes.

“Yeah. I do. You know what’s on it?” Levi reached into his pocket, pulling out a little black flash drive. “It contains your illegal money transactions. The shitty contracts you make your artists sign. Doesn’t have anything on it about what you’ve done recently, though, like shooting three people and killing one of them.”

Take the bait . . . take the bait . . . Erwin thought.

Hange and Erwin made sure their cameras successfully captured Connie’s face so no one could deny that it was him.

What an idiot he was. 

“You sound pissed off about it,” Connie yawned a bit.

“Of course I’m pissed off. You murdered Armin and tried to murder Eren. Why is that so hard for you to comprehend?”

“I didn’t know you cared so much, man. Sorry if I’m used to you not giving a damn about anyone but yourself.”

Hange shared a knowing look with Erwin. One that communicated their thoughts and worries without them having to say a word: Was that good enough? He hasn’t directly confessed, but he hasn’t denied anything either. Would this be enough?

Erwin gave them a nod, one that told them to keep recording.

Keep recording until it was time to stop.

“Armin was a good person. I’ll never understand why you had to kill him.” 

“Because I had to, okay? Can I have the flash drive now? Because all of this extra chatting could’ve happened over the phone.”

“Fine.” 

It was a good enough confession. 

Levi reached into his pocket and pulled out the flash drive. 

Hange and Erwin were told to end the livestream once Levi reached up and scratched his left ear — not wanting to get what would happen next on camera — but he hadn’t made the move to do so yet, so they continued to record.

And why he hadn’t yet signaled them, they weren’t certain. 

Perhaps, it was because he was hesitant. 

Levi looked into the eyes of the man who, right now, trusted him entirely. The man he had trusted for years. He could see it now — the look of trust in his hazel eyes. And, perhaps, there was a look of regret as well.

Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as comfortable with being an evil murderer as he pretended to be. Maybe he could still be saved.

Once Connie took the flash drive from Levi’s hand, Hange’s thumb hovered over the button to end the livestream, awaiting the other man’s signal.

With one hand, Connie shoved the flash drive into his pants pocket. With the other, he swiftly grabbed the handgun out of his inner coat pocket, pointed it at Levi’s chest, and pulled the trigger.

—

— YEARS AGO —

After a long day filled with drills, exercises, and aggravating tasks all under the name of serving the country, Levi, Erwin, and Hange sat around a wooden table, playing a card game to blow off some steam.

“Shit . . .” Levi took a swig of his tea, glaring down at the deck of red and white cards in his hand. “You’re cheating, Hange.”

“Huh?!” With a frown, Hange placed down another card, coming closer and closer to winning the card game Levi couldn’t remember the name of. He didn’t care that much. 

“Ignore him,” Erwin laughed softly. “He’s finally bad at something, and he can’t stand it.”

“Is that why he’s drinking tea like it’s liquor?” Hange turned their attention from Erwin to Levi, speaking with a teasing tone. “It’s not gonna turn into whiskey, Levi.” 

Levi grabbed another card, glaring playfully.

Being that he was only twenty, he had no choice but to settle for tea. But that lovely idiot across the table surely made him wish he was downing a bottle of something — anything.

“Hey, Erwin? Where’d you go after training yesterday?” Hange darted their eyes up at Erwin, then back down at their cards.

“I had a date, remember?”

“Oh, right! With, uh, what’s her name . . . Maddie? Mia? Macadamia?”

“Maria,” Erwin corrected, smirking just a bit. He was starting to win the card game, relying on strategy instead of luck. 

“Nice, nice,” Hange nodded. “And what about you, Levi? Take any lucky girl out last weekend?”

“I’ll hit you.”

“What? I’m just asking a question,” Hange playfully wiggled their eyebrows.

“Erwin, please tell Hange to leave me alone in a nicer way than I’d put it.”

“I don’t know about that, Levi,” Erwin glanced up at the man. “I must admit that I’m curious about your love life myself.”

“See?” Hange gestured at Erwin with their hand, then looked at Levi. “Do you find anyone attractive? Are you in some wild, secret relationship we don’t know about?”

“No,” Levi placed his cards down. Erwin won the game, but everyone was too focused on hearing Levi’s revealing words to celebrate or sulk. “I don’t have a love life. I don’t care about any of that.”

“Why not?” Erwin questioned, furrowing his brows. 

“I think romance is a waste of time. Loving someone is stupid, because no matter what, it’ll always end in pain. Heartbreak, divorce, death . . . It’s unavoidable, so why waste your time when you’ll always get hurt in the end? That’s what I think, at least.” Levi took another sip of his tea. “If I die alone, I’m fine with that.” 

—

Hange’s livestream ended abruptly because they had unintentionally thrown their tablet, cracking the device and breaking it. 

Hange and Erwin ran to the fallen, bleeding man. It felt as if their bodies were moving in slow motion, and yet, everything had happened regrettably fast. 

Connie disappeared into the darkness surrounding the abandoned building they were stationed behind. Moments later, tires screeched as a car sped away. 

Hange scraped their hands collapsing at Levi’s side, but the little blood on their bruised palms paled in comparison to the pool of blood pouring out of their best friend’s body. 

“Call the police, Erwin! Call an ambulance. Oh my god, Levi, please, no . . .” 

His eyes were open. A streak of blood seeped out of the corner of his mouth. Hange scooped their hand underneath his head, cradling him.

As Erwin contacted the nearest first responders, Hange pressed their hand against Levi’s injured chest, attempting to stop the bleeding.

As they did so, bloodied hand against his bullet wound, they felt the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. 

“Levi? Can you hear me?” Hange stared down into his eyes, but he wasn’t looking at them. He was looking at the few stars twinkling up above. 

“I’m . . . sorry.” Levi’s voice was weak. A tear fell from his eye.

Erwin dropped the phone. He pushed Levi’s hair away from his face, leaning in to hear the man speak.

“Sorry . . .” Levi repeated.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, do you understand me? This screwup isn’t your fault.” Tears brimmed in Erwin’s waterline. When he blinked, it fell onto Levi’s warm cheek.

“You’re not gonna die like this, Levi, we promise,” Hange said. They could barely see him through their tears, which blurred their vision. 

Levi’s blood started to touch their knees.

“Take care of her . . . okay?” Levi whispered. He had to use all of his strength to speak. More blood pooled from his mouth. “Take care of-of Y/N . . . help her learn how to . . . cook. She’s learn . . .  she’s learning. Help her produce her play . . . promise me. Keep her . . . happy. Tell her that I love her . . . okay? Promise . . .”

In the distance, ambulance sirens blared.

Erwin smiled, stroking Levi’s forehead. “You hear that, Levi? It’s an ambulance. You’re going to be just fine. You can tell her all of that yourself.” 

Hange held Levi’s hand. 

He just needed to hold on a little longer . . . just a little longer . . . and he would be just fine.

This time around, no one could hear Connie’s footsteps before he came into view.

This time, they weren’t aware of his presence until he was standing right behind them with his gun drawn, his hand trembling, eyes filled with tears.

“I’m sorry,” Connie spoke with a shaky voice, one filled with regret — the same regret he felt after he fired a bullet into Eren.

Erwin’s eyes widened. 

He must have returned to kill him and Hange, eliminating any witnesses. After all, he had no idea about the livestream. He had no idea that thousands of people had witnessed tonight’s events unfold, soon to be millions upon millions as the news spread.

Erwin didn’t care about his own life, and he tried to reach across Levi and pull Hange away, but the bullet was fired too soon.

It didn’t hit Hange. 

It didn’t hit Erwin.

It hit Levi in the forehead, killing him instantly. Killing any chance of survival.

If the police cars and ambulance trucks racing down the street nearby didn’t know where to locate them, they certainly would after hearing Hange’s scream. 

But when they showed up, there was nothing they could do. 

They were too late.

Hange cradled Levi’s warm, bleeding body, trembling arms wrapped around him while Erwin did most of the talking, communicating with the police officers as best as he could, masking his pain to better tell the tale of how the corrupt justice system is what led to this situation to begin with.

But nothing — nothing — would ever be as difficult as arriving at Levi's home that night, promising to return to the police station in the morning for more questioning.

As they stepped through the doors, Hange’s sobs quiet as they made their way into the foyer, you were preparing a surprise celebratory dinner in honor of their success, confident that the three best friends would return victorious.  

Hange sat down on the foyer floor. They couldn’t walk anymore. They couldn’t feel their legs. 

“I’ll be right back, give me one second.” The sad man stroked his crying friend’s hair. 

He stepped into the archway of the kitchen. For a while, you hadn’t noticed him.

Darting back and forth between the stove and cabinets you were, and Erwin didn’t disturb you just yet, wanting to let you hold on to your happiness just a bit longer. 

Then, your eyes darted up to his face briefly, just long enough to see that familiar head of blonde hair, but not long enough to notice the pained look within his blue eyes, nor the blood staining his body.

“You’re back!” You said, turning away from him to pull a tray of baked chicken out of the oven. “I know it’s late, but there’s nothing wrong with a midnight dinner, right? I, uh, I cooked everything myself. I burned the chicken a little bit on the bottom, but I just cut that part off. It’s fine. I can’t wait to see the look on Levi’s face! I even made dessert . . . well, I bought dessert . . . but only because I didn’t have time to bake anything. Of course, the one thing I’m good at, I don’t even have time to-”

Your words were abruptly cut off as you looked at Erwin yet again, your eyes lingering long enough this time to notice his distraught appearance.

As you stood there wearing your oven mitts and your apron, holding a tray of oven-roasted vegetables, you worriedly asked, “What’s wrong? Why are you so . . . did someone get hurt?”

Before Erwin could respond �� although it took him a moment to get ready to speak, as his voice had faded away due to the lump in his throat — you reached for the stove behind you, turning off a sizzling pan to better your hearing. 

That’s when you heard Hange’s sobs coming from the foyer.

“Erwin?” Your tone was thick with worry. “What happened? Where’s Levi?”

At that moment, when that haunting question fell from between your lips, Erwin wished that he was the dead one right now. 

“Y/N,” he spoke as calmly as he could, nodding in the direction of the nearby breakfast nook. “I need you to sit down for me.” 

You shook your head. Your mitted hands clenched the hot tray. Your legs started to wobble. Your eyes started to glisten with hot tears.

“Where’s Levi, Erwin? Where is he? Where’s Levi?” 

He couldn’t tell you. Not like this. Not with you holding a hot tray in your hands. You could get hurt.

“Y/N . . .”

You started to cry.

“Where’s Levi? Where?” 

Despite your words, you knew the answer. You were a woman who knew the look of unspeakable grief quite well.

Erwin approached your trembling body slowly as you sobbed.

The hot tray fell from your hands. Erwin was quick enough to smack it away so it wouldn’t touch you, burning his hand and arm in the process. It hurt, but none of that mattered. Not right now. 

He caught you before you collapsed to the ground. One hand was wrapped around your body. The other hand cradled your head. 

Crying into his chest, you continued to ask: “Where’s Levi? Where is he?”

—

— THREE DAYS LATER —

The world had come to know the truth — an ugly piece of honesty that no one could deny: Connie Springer was a coldhearted murderer, and Levi Ackerman was dead.

The latest chaos appeared worldwide on notable news channels. Headlined the most popular articles and newspapers. 

But none of it mattered.

Even after shooting Levi twice — once in the chest, then circling back around to kill him completely, not wanting a repeat of Erwin and Eren’s situation — Connie was still a free man.

He very well couldn’t buy his way out of this one. 

The general public had seen his sins with their own eyes. 

But, even if the government was forced to do its part and uphold its own laws, laws that wouldn’t help them purchase a Beverly Hills mansion and secure their children’s future in top-notch Ivy League schools, it didn’t mean a thing, because no one could find him.

The master bedroom door opened, and gentle footsteps made their way towards the side of the bed, where you laid on your side, head resting on a pillow. His pillow.

It was uncomfortably wet from your tears.

“Hey,” Erwin’s voice was soft. “I made breakfast. You should try to eat something.”

You didn’t respond. 

You couldn’t. 

Grief took your voice away — snatched any desire to speak, as your throat was dried to a crisp.

Therefore, you only shook your head, and Erwin sighed a bit. 

He sat down a white bowl of some steamy, nutritional substance on the nightstand nearby.

“It’s here if you change your mind. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

The grieving man walked away.

It wasn’t fair. Truly. It wasn’t. 

He was suffering just as much as you and Hange, who occupied the guest bedroom, having their own tear-soaked pillow to sob into with a bowl of uneaten food on their nightstand as well.

But he couldn’t sit around and grieve. Instead, he had to take on the role of a caregiver, trying his hardest to do what he could for you and Hange. 

Over the last few days, he cooked. Cleaned. Opened the door only to allow visitors who he thought would help lessen your misery, like Sasha, Annie, and Eren.

Although the paparazzi once again lurking around Levi’s property were indeed pests, he took advantage of that. Standing in front of their cameras, speaking into their microphones, he spoke on and on about how horrific Connie Springer was. How none of his artists were safe until he was locked away.

“You care about their music. You care about their concerts. You care about their interviews. Now, it’s time to care about their lives,” Erwin once said, his words broadcasted worldwide for millions to hear. “Help us find Connie Springer, so every artist he has worked with can seek justice, and sleep soundly and safely. Continue to be outraged at him and everyone at CS Records who holds a position of power. 

Eren Yeager almost lost his life thanks to him. I almost lost mine as well, both of us, victims of his violence.

Armin Arlert was a kind, hardworking man who was simply walking down the street with Eren Yeager, drinking a slushie. Now, he’ll never know what it’s like to grow old. To live comfortably.

Levi Ackerman died trying to protect his loved ones. This is the same man who brought your favorite singers to the spotlight. Avenge him by finding his killer, so that he and Armin Arlert may rest in peace. Thank you.” 

—

Around noon, Erwin, once again, made his way into the bedroom. You hadn’t moved a muscle.

Silently, he grabbed the uneaten bowl of breakfast food, which had gotten cold and dry over the dreadful hours.

He replaced it with a plate. On it, there was a sandwich, cut in half, and a few pieces of fruit.

Taking the old bowl away, he returned moments later with a glass of water, and a hardcover, brown, book of some sort. 

He sat the water down on the nightstand. Even the gentle clink-clank of the glass was too much to bear.

“Y/N,” he said softly. “I found this. I think you might want to take a look at it.”

Your eyes shifted in his direction. Much like you did when he offered you food earlier, you simply shook your head.

“It’s from Levi. I found it in his office. I think it’s . . .” Erwin paused. “Look at it, when you get the chance.” 

He reached over you, placing the book on the other side of your bed.

After that, he left.

An hour and twenty minutes had passed before you built up the courage to sit up in bed and grab the book. With trembling hands, you opened it, only to discover that it wasn’t a book at all.

It was a photo album.

Every picture that he had taken of you, both mundane and extraordinary, was printed out and filed neatly on every page you had flipped. He added the dates as well, written along the white spaces underneath every photograph, as well as a little description of what was happening or where you were.

Planting new flowers

Sasha’s birthday party 

Making tacos

The beach

After the photo of you and him on that beautiful day, there was one more.

It was the picture he took of you on the date afterward. There you were, smiling, holding a fork that was getting ready to dive into your first course, a fresh, creatively-plated salad, all while wearing your favorite dress. 

Your tears splattered onto the pages. It blurred your vision, but after blinking a few times to clear it, you were able to read the final description.

Our last date

Gripping the edges of the photo album, you brought it closer. Perhaps, you read that incorrectly. Maybe it was a result of dehydration and depression.

But no. The words remained the same.

How could he have known that your last date would indeed be your last date?

You flipped the page, not expecting any more photos to appear. And there weren’t. The remaining pages were empty photo slots waiting to be filled.

There was, however, an envelope tucked in between one of the pages. 

Your name was written on the front of it in Levi’s perfect handwriting.

Shaky fingers ripped open the envelope rather quickly. With one hand, you wiped your tears, and with the other, you unfolded what appeared to be a letter.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, then I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because I’m going to die soon, and I have to put you through even more grief. I hope you can forgive me for it.

I wasn’t being honest with you, or with anyone.

Some think I plan to kill Connie. They’re wrong. You think I plan to put Connie in prison, which I am, but not in the way we discussed. I need more than a live confession. I need people to see him killing someone they ignorantly think is more important, someone who matters more to Hollywood than a waiter. Getting him to admit to Armin’s death won’t be enough. The flash drive alone won’t be enough.

The only way to cause enough outrage is if I die too, and everyone sees it. No amount of money can erase what I’m hoping millions of people will see. Outrage would mean no amount of money can persuade the justice system. 

That’s what I’m hoping for, at least.

Thinking that Connie will kill me is a gamble, but I’m certain he will because I know him. I really know him. I know he’s wanted to kill me for a long time, and once he gets what he thinks is a flash drive with evidence, he can finally do it. Killing me means killing his biggest threat.

And, there’s also the fact that you manipulated him with my kid. 

I knew mentioning that on TV could be what will finally push him into killing me.

The flash drive I plan to give him is fake. There’s nothing on it. The real one is in my office. I don’t want to risk giving that up, dead or alive. It could come in handy. Who knows.

I had to take a page out of Connie’s book and make a few jerks rich, but I poured money into ensuring that Connie goes to a specific prison where he will never be able to escape, assuming he gets arrested and doesn’t get away after killing me. I hope not, or else this will all be pointless.

But that isn’t the only reason I have to do all of this.

I married you because I love you, that’s true, but I also did it so that you’ll get my life insurance once I die.

Connie took everything from you, but everything I own, everything that belongs to me, I give to you. He can’t touch it.

You won’t have to depend on anyone anymore. You’ll be able to live comfortably now, which is all I want for you. You won’t be alone, either. Erwin and Hange will look after you, I know it. Eren’s still around, and knowing him, he isn’t going anywhere.

But, Y/N, I want you to grow old. I want you to become the playwright you always wanted to be. I want you to be happy, even if I’m not around to see it.

The rest of this photo album is blank. Fill it with whatever you want. Pictures from the past. Pictures you’ll take in the future. 

And once you’re happy and free from all this pain and trouble, share it with someone. 

You were my one true love, and I will never regret dying for you, Y/N.

Sincerely, your husband, Levi

—

— CANADA, TWO WEEKS LATER —

The disgustingly small hideout was once again Connie’s residence as he hid out from the rest of the world. Now, oddly enough, it felt smaller. More suffocating. 

Connie slowly paced back and forth around the tiny living room.

How long could he truly stay here? Was this truly a situation he couldn’t toss money at? With the entire world watching, he had no choice but to accept his fate. He had gone too far by giving in to his bloodlust, all in the name of evidence and revenge.

The computer sitting on his desk against one of the plain living room walls suddenly dinged. It was an indication that he had received a new email.

He would have ignored it. It was probably some sort of advertisement or business that could wait until morning. 

Despite thinking this, Connie found himself walking to his desk, sitting down in the chair, and moving his mouse around to fully awaken his computer — it was as if his mind and body were no longer in sync.

When the bright screen displayed his inbox, an unsettling chill ran up his spine when he read the name of the sender from an email delivered thirty seconds ago. With a trembling hand, he clicked it.

Levi Ackerman (no subject)

Connie,

If you’re getting this email, that means you have successfully murdered me. Good job.

But, if you’re able to read this, that means you aren’t behind bars somewhere, and my plan has failed.

I’m worried that it will fail. I’m worried that even after I set you up and I die by your hand, the people I care for will still be in danger because the shitty cops can’t find you, or maybe, the public doesn’t care about both me and Armin dying as much as I hope they do, and their lack of outrage means that you can pay off law enforcement once again and get away with it all. I don’t know. 

But that’s why I’m writing this email and scheduling for it to be sent after a certain date, because I know that if you see it, you’re still a free man, and you can hurt everyone I care for. 

So, I want to talk to you one last time.

People often wonder why someone like me became a manager. I don’t give a damn about fame or music. I told myself that it was because I wanted to look after Eren. His family took care of my cousin, so I wanted to help him accomplish his dreams and protect him. I did a shit job doing that, clearly.

But I also became a manager because of you, too.

I know a thing or two about shitty childhoods, Connie. When I met you after your time in prison, you had that same look that all troubled kids have, and believe it or not, I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to be successful, and to rub it in the face of everyone who hurt you and doubted you.

So, when I witnessed you become a monster with my own eyes, I did nothing. Hurt people hurt other people. I knew that. 

But I made the wrong decision back then.

If I had done something back then, if I had been there for you in a different way like I should have been, maybe things would have turned out differently now. Maybe you could have gone down a better path.

I can’t say. 

But I’m sorry, Connie. I really am. I let you down. I let everyone down. Leading musicians into what I knew would be a horrific situation contract-wise is something I will never forgive myself for, a burden I can’t shake, so my death won’t just serve as part of a setup to imprison you, but it’ll be my freedom.

But, Connie, it’s not too late to start over. It’s not too late to become a better person, the person you should and would have been if someone had been there for you all those years ago.

That’s why I’m reaching out.

Please leave Y/N alone. Leave everyone else alone. I’m begging you. Let my death be enough.

Anyway, if I survive, then I’ll come back and delete this email before it sends. I doubt I will, though. But, if I do live, then that means you are really willing to accept my deal for peace (then I’m the asshole for trying to set you up, but whatever.)

If that’s the case, if you are willing to have peace, then maybe, I could help you find your own form of happiness too. In the future, we could have tea and talk about all of it once everything dies down. 

But if that doesn’t happen, and you kill me, then I forgive you. 

Sincerely, Levi

—

When tears brimmed in Connie’s waterline, he was uncertain what emotion had provoked such a reaction from him. Sadness? Anger? Regret? 

Either way, his trembling hand moved the mouse, dragging the cursor to a little garbage can icon, and he deleted the email.

—

It wasn’t déjà vu. 

Yes, seeing yet another casket lowered into the ground at the hands of Connie Springer was familiar. The horrific pain was recurring. But this time, at this depressing, heartbreaking funeral, you didn’t cry uncontrollably. Your legs didn’t give out. 

You stood there in yet another black dress, but you were emotionless. Speechless. Eyes dry. 

Your misery was an old friend. Travesty was like a neverending dream. 

But it wasn’t your familiarity with pain that resulted in your unsettling composure. 

It was because you were too angry to properly mourn. 

After all, Connie was still gone, which meant Levi Ackerman had died for nothing, and you refused to let that happen.

No longer would you sit around, having to be consoled and cared for by others. No longer would you sit on the receiving end of every action at the hands of that monster you so desperately wanted to find.

It was time to make Connie suffer too.

And you’d become as twisted as he was to do it.

—

— THREE YEARS LATER —

“I’m nervous, Mom, oh my goodness. What if they changed their minds or something? What if I mess up?” 

Jane Caddell wiped her sweaty hands off on her pants leg as her mom pulled into an empty spot in the spacious, multi-level parking garage.

“You’ll be fine, sweetie.” The older woman said. “I'll be right next to you the entire time, okay? You should be excited!”

“I am!” The blonde-haired nineteen-year-old girl grinned nervously, glancing down at her nice outfit to make sure there wasn’t any lint or cat fur. “I’m just . . . I don’t know. I’m scared.”

“You can be scared, honey. All that matters is that you do it anyway. What you don’t want to be, though, is late. So let’s go.”

The mother and daughter got out of their car, a white vehicle with a Wisconsin license plate, which stuck out in a place like California.

Holding hands, they made their way into the enormous, fancy building. Designing it must have been an architect’s dream. It was rather extravagant — white, mainly, with golden finishes and black accents stretching throughout the lobby and hallways. 

Jane and her mother couldn’t help but stare, wide-eyed, at the beauty that was just a tiny fraction of the first floor alone. 

After meeting the receptionist sitting behind a massive desk, also with golden finishes, they waited for their escort — a tall, blonde-haired man — and made their way to the hallway of elevators.

As they did so, a well-known pop singer walked by. It only intensified Jane’s inner panic. She couldn’t calm her racing heartbeat.

They arrived outside of a spacious, modern office. The man who escorted them, and also doubled as head of security, held the door open, and nervously, the mother and daughter stepped in. 

“Your 12:30 appointment has arrived,” the man said.

“Thank you, Erwin.” 

After giving you a nod, he left, leaving the mother and daughter in your grand office, which looked like a mini version of the lobby several floors down.

You sat in a chair behind a desk with your name imprinted along it.

With a smile, you looked up at the two visitors, and softly, you said, “Have a seat, please.”

They took their positions in the two white chairs in front of your desk. 

“Welcome to Arlert Records, ladies. Would you like something to drink?”

“Oh, um,” the mother looked at her nervous daughter, “that would be nice, yes! What do you have?”

“We have everything here.”

The mother laughed in disbelief. 

“Oh, well, just water will be fine.”

You pressed on the tiny, bluetooth earpiece in your right ear. 

“Two waters,” you requested.

Darting your eyes between them both, and said, “It’ll be just a moment, ladies.”

“Okay, that’s perfectly fine,” the mother smiled politely. The older woman made eye contact with her anxious daughter, then flickered her blue eyes in your direction with a little nod of her head.

Eventually, her daughter took the hint.

She leaned forward, extending her trembling hand, and nervously, but with a smile, she said, “It’s n-nice to meet you, Mrs. Ackerman. I’m Jane Caddell.”

“The pleasure is mine, Jane,” you shook the girl’s sweaty, warm hand. “And, please, call me Y/N.”

“So,” clearing your throat, you paused, looking into Jane’s blue eyes. “I know you have gone over the finer details of your contract with legal representatives, but I wanted to personally meet you myself and welcome you to the record label.”

“Thank you so much,” Jane grinned brightly. “It’s a dream come true!”

After giving two knocks, a woman walked in carrying a tray. She sat down two glasses of iced water with lemons on the rim on the table in between the two chairs. After receiving thanks from the mother and daughter, she left.

“You remind me of myself when I was younger, Jane,” you leaned back in your seat. “Unfamiliar with Hollywood, having nothing to rely on except a beautiful voice. They used to call me a diamond-in-the-rough, you know.”

Jane laughed nervously. Once again, she wiped her hands off of her pants. 

“Anyway, I plan on making you a star, Jane. I hope you weren’t too attached to that retail job of yours, because you won’t need it anymore.”

A tear rolled down Jane’s cheek. 

Were you telling the truth? Would she no longer have to work double shifts at Walmart just to help her mother out with the neverending bills?

“This all just sounds too good to be true, I mean, I can’t believe it. My daughter . . . a star.” The mother reached out, grabbing ahold of her daughter’s hand. “What happens now?”

“Well, this is completely optional, but I would recommend moving down here to Los Angeles, or as close to the city as you can get, that way you both won’t have to constantly travel back and forth.” You adjusted yourself in your seat. “But, career-wise, you will work with our songwriters and producers to create your first official song. One of my signed artists, Jean Kirstein, has created countless amount of hit singles and albums for other artists, so I would like for you to work with him. In the meantime, when you’re not in the studio, you will have to take a couple of lessons — private classes, if you will — for media training, stage presence, and things of that nature. While you’re working hard, my company will be promoting you until you become a household name. How does that sound?”

Excitedly, the doe-eyed mother and daughter rambled on and on about their excitement. 

How innocent they were, having no clue what Hollywood was truly like.

Pitiful. 

The meeting came to an end around thirty minutes later, after discussing more career-establishing details. And, once they were escorted out, your fake smile faded away. You were left with nothing except the soulless expression that graced your face over the last few years, nothing more.

Pressing your earpiece, you softly said, “Send Jean Kirstein to my office, now.”

Ten minutes later, Jean appeared in your office, opening the door with his hand, which had a beautiful engagement ring on it. 

He took a seat in one of your chairs.

“Something wrong?” He asked plainly.

“Not at all,” you crossed your legs. “I signed a new artist recently. Her name is Jane Caddell. I want you to help her out. Write her songs, produce her music, do whatever is necessary to make sure her first album dominates the Billboard.”

“No problem,” Jean nodded. “Anything else?”

Tilting your head a bit, you questioned, “How are you doing? I haven’t talked to you in a while. It’s good to see you.”

Truth be told, Jean was in your massive building almost every single day, mainly in one of the recording studios, but your paths rarely crossed. After all, he was a solo artist now, making music for himself with the exception of moments like this, where you asked him to help out other artists.

He didn’t mind one bit. After all, there weren’t any silent men around to abuse him, and he was no longer living in anyone else’s shadow. 

He was happy. Truly. 

“I’m fine,” Jean smiled softly. “Great, actually. My wedding’s in a few months. We’re sending invitations out soon, and we’d love for you to come.”

“Maybe,” you replied, giving him a fake grin, one that he could see right through, but decided not to comment on. 

There was, perhaps, one thing in his life that wasn’t perfect.

You.

Someone he considered to be a close friend now after everything that has happened.

After all, he hadn’t seen you flash a real smile in years. Forgotten what your amazing laugh sounded like. What worried him more than anything, was that with every passing day, every moment that Armin and Levi went without justice, you were becoming more and more like the very person law enforcement failed to hunt down.

Manipulating others to achieve your goals.

Dominating Los Angeles and the entertainment industry.

There were some differences, though. Those you were willing to hurt financially, emotionally, or physically were often targets because they hurt your friends and artists intentionally or unintentionally. Everyone you cherished was cared for. Even so, Jean couldn’t help but question your values nowadays. It seemed as if money was all that mattered.

Money, and being merciless.

Shortly after Levi’s death, CS Records shut down completely. Some artists and employees enjoyed their newfound freedom, but the majority of people felt lost and were worried about what the absence of a record label — one that was known for paying their artists and employees insanely well — would mean for their careers.

That was when you started your own company with the help of Levi’s money. 

It had blossomed tremendously over the last few years. Artists and employees who previously worked for CS Records now worked for you. 

And that wasn’t all.

Arlert Records was only one of your companies. 

Ackerman Studios, for example, was your film company, and both businesses, along with others, existed underneath your global mass media entertainment conglomerate, The F/N L/N Corporation. The headquarters for it were in another California city about forty minutes away. 

You were now worth billions. Your name was worth billions. Your companies were worth billions.

The unspeakable amount of wealth you possessed was far greater than what Connie had ever pocketed, and in only three years.

If only you were happy. 

“Well, I better get going,” you started to get out of your chair. “I need to go down to headquarters today, and the film studio. There’s business to attend to.”

“Wait,” Jean stood up as well. “Do you want some company? I can come with-”

“No. I’m fine.”

With that, you headed for the door, heels clicking against the ground as you said, “There’s lots of work to do, Jean. Get back to it, and I’ll see you later.”

“Someone lock up my office in about five minutes,” you ordered into your earpiece.

—

Four bodyguards accompanied you during your transportive journey to your film studio across town.

Filmmakers, actors, and productive crew members were hard at work — either surrounded by green screens and cameras or shooting inside of the houses and buildings you build on the surrounding land of your property — everyone creating interesting movies that would certainly dominate the box office next year.

However, today, your business was with a very specific director named Brox Garrett.

A stupid name for a stupid man.

In your office in the main building, you sat on top of your desk, legs crossed, two bodyguards at your side.

Then, that stupid man with the stupid name entered, a smug look on his face.

“Brox! It’s good to see you,” you lied with a beautiful smile. “Have a seat.” 

“I’m fine with standing-”

“Have a seat.”

His bottom made contact with a chair instantly. Your kind, yet assertive tone was frightening. 

“I’m not happy with you, Brox. Do you know why?”

The middle-aged man gulped a bit, terrified to answer. 

“I take your silence as a sign that you don’t.” You frowned at him. “I’m not happy because I truly, truly hate myself right now. I hate myself for being such a fool when I hired you, the hotshot director who promised me that a fantastic action film would be released this next year.”

“We’re not that far off schedule, we just-”

“Stop talking, please.” You raised your hand. He didn’t say another word. “Anyway, I’ve had a very busy week. The last thing I wanted to do today was come down to the film studio, but here I am, all because I hired you. A fool. So, tell me, whose job was it to make sure Annie Leonhart’s harness was fully operational before shooting a jumping scene? As the director, it’s your job to double-check those things, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Annie’s a very close friend of mine. Someone I absolutely adore. And, now, she’s recovering from a broken leg and a concussion.” You sighed. “So, that’s exactly how you’re going to leave here today . . . with a broken leg and a concussion.”

You got off of your desk, making your way towards the door, whereas your bodyguards stayed behind, glaring at the director. 

“Wait, wait, wait-”

“Oh,” you turned back right before leaving, “and you’re fired, by the way. I’ll see to it that you never get a job in this industry ever again.”

Reaching into your purse, you pulled out a small packet, and tossed it at him, the wrapper crinkling as he caught it with trembling hands.

He glanced down at the item.

It was a beef-flavored pack of ramen noodles.

“For you and your children to share,” with a soft smile, you whispered, “use it wisely.”

He shouted something as you closed the door — what he said, you couldn’t have cared less — and you left him trapped in the office with your bodyguards who would make sure he left in the same condition his careless actions put Annie in.

One of your assistants, who was waiting outside of your office for you, perked up as soon as you came into view, clenching her iPad in preparation to take note of all the orders she was certain you’d bark at her. 

“Please make sure Annie is recovering well. Let’s send her on a vacation once she’s healed. Two weeks. Somewhere tropical. Write that down.”

“Yes ma’am,” your assistant immediately jotted that down. “It’s about time to cover Hange Zoe’s bills. Would you like to make any adjustments before I send the funds?”

“Yes,” you started walking down a hallway with multiple movie and TV show posters made by your studio hanging on the walls as decor, and your assistant trailed behind. “Their cat’s sick, so I’ve heard. Send enough money to cover the vet bills, and enough to buy a new cat if this one doesn’t pull through. In fact, just triple the amount we usually send. I don’t care how much they protest, either.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Does anyone else need anything?”

“Uh . . .” your assistant checked her notes, double checking to make sure that Hange, Erwin, Jean, Annie, and Sasha were all taken care of.

Mikasa hadn’t been in contact with you in years. 

Years.

But, according to Jean, she was doing alright, coping with everything that had happened by continuing to climb mountains and dive in the ocean, traveling from one country to the next.

Reiner, lovingly, didn’t need or want anything from you.

He did keep his word and traveled to Los Angeles about twice a year to check up on you. However, upon hearing how you’ve changed, he wanted you to come visit him down in the South. Even so, he knew good food and kind people couldn’t fix your problems like last time, but it was worth a shot, he figured. 

But you declined every invitation.

Then, lastly, there was Eren, who had spiraled after Levi’s death. But, he was starting to heal from his dark mental state. The same couldn’t be said for you.

“As far as requests involving money and career opportunities, all of your friends, clients, and employees are cared for, and all of your upcoming business events are all planned out. However, there are some . . . social requests.”

“Social?” You stepped into an elevator with the young woman.

“Yes ma’am,” she nodded, then darted her eyes down to her iPad. “Reiner invited you to yet another barbeque . . . Jean’s having a party . . . Erwin’s-”

“No, no,” you raised your hand, shaking your head. “I don’t have time for any of that. Just send everyone who has an upcoming event a gift of some sort.” 

“Yes ma’am.”

You knew what your friends were trying to do. They wanted to bring out the human side of you. The side that smiled. Laughed. Cared about things other than the entertainment industry and wealth. 

And, for a while, you promised them that, one day, you would show up for them.

Eventually, you would attend Hange and Erwin’s Thanksgiving dinners. You would grab drinks with Annie and Sasha. Teach underprivileged kids how to sing and play piano with Jean. Go down to Tennessee and visit Reiner and his family.

All of those promises were made and broken. 

But your friends never gave up on you, no matter how much you wished they would.

—

Together, you and your assistant traveled to the marvelous headquarters of The F/N L/N Corporation. There, the business you needed to attend to wasn’t directly connected to the entertainment industry. There, your business was personal. On the top several floors, men and women worked incredibly hard to keep your companies running, handling business, managing talent, and making your bank accounts grow. But, down in the basement to which you were escorted, a different set of employees were working on something entirely different. “I think you’ll be pleased, Mrs. Ackerman,” your escort said, guiding you down the twisty hallways and into a secure room with bright computers and intelligent minds at work. “I better be,” you replied. “If I traveled all this way for nothing, all of you are getting fired.” Stepping into the room, a dark-haired man looked at you with an unreadable expression — as if his soul was trapped somewhere between happiness and fear. “What?” You questioned, glancing around at the other faces staring at you. “What is it?” “We found him, Mrs. Ackerman. We found Connie.”

A photograph of Armin and Levi’s murderer appeared on a big display screen at the front of the room. There the bastard was, wearing a hood and sunglasses to conceal his identity. But, while the average Joe strolling down the street might not have recognized him with a hood on his head, surveillance cameras would. Weeks ago, Connie was assumed to be in Canada. Getting access to his old bank transactions had shown he had a house built out there years ago. It was almost as if he was prepared for his future, knowing that it would be filled with nothing but trouble. However, the details were locked up pretty tight, leaving no specific address that could be tracked down. But there he was. “Looks like he’s leaving some sort of market, so I’m guessing he might live close,” you commented, eyes darting down to the little brown bag in his fist. “Give us a week, and I’m certain we’ll be able to pin him down exactly.” “You have three days,” you started to walk away. “Address or not, I’m going to Canada, and I’m not leaving until I find him.” You could see it now, boarding a jet with your team of security, and finally being able to get your hands on Connie. Then, everyone could live safely. No longer would everyone who was affiliated with him need bodyguards surrounding them or their properties constantly.  And, best of all, Armin and Levi would have justice. Peace.

—

There was something rather somber about your days coming to an end. While you might have had one of the biggest mansions in Los Angeles, which was a gorgeous piece of modern, chateau-inspired art, it only intensified your loneliness. Your driver pulled down around your divine water fountain, dropping you off in front of the grand staircase that led to your double front doors. Your heels clicked with every step, the sound of it echoing into the night. In your house, you had live-in security and staff, sure — but they were employees. They did nothing to fill the gaping hole in your chest.  Before you reached your front doors, a moving figure caught your eye. Glancing up, the startling sight of someone sitting on your steps made you gasp. “Eren?” You frowned. “What are you doing here? You scared me.” “Sorry.” The man stood up from where he sat.  “No one tossed you off of my property?” Glaring, you added, “Everyone knows I don’t like visitors. Someone’s getting fired for this.” “No, don’t fire anyone, it’s my fault. I was trying to come see you, and you weren’t answering your phone, so I asked Erwin, and he said I could wait for you here.” Your face visibly softened. Erwin knew you wouldn’t dare fire him for this, but to disrespect your wishes and allow something like this only meant one thing: even he was trying to cure your loneliness, just like the rest of your friends. Of course, none of them were as persistent or stubborn as Eren Yeager.

“Why’d you want to see me? Do you need something?” “Yeah,” Eren smiled sadly. “I needed to see you.” “Well, I can’t help you with that.” You walked past him. Being alerted of your presence, a bodyguard standing by one of the doors opened it for you. “Go home.” Suddenly, Eren’s hand was wrapped around your arm, halting your footsteps.  “Wait,” he said.  “I wasn’t sure if you’d want this, but here.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a little box, and handed it to you. “Happy birthday.” Your eyes, which bore into his, glistened with utter confusion, and a look of shock that silently asked the question: You remembered? Slowly, you opened the gift. It was a ring, and not a last-minute purchase from Pandora. It was a silver band with a precious, bright gemstone.  “Thank you,” you mumbled. “It’s beautiful.” “You’re welcome,” he gave a soft smile. “Have a good night, okay?” He started to walk away, but he barely made it three steps down before you called his name. “Eren, wait.” The former rockstar turned around, gazing at you with curiosity, confusion, and hopefulness. “Do you want. . .” you sighed, fighting against the self-hatred you felt from being vulnerable. “Do you want to come inside for a little while?” When Eren smiled, it was as if no time had passed, as it was the same beautiful smile he gave you when you first met.

Red wine trickled and swooshed around as it was poured into the two glasses sitting on a table in the middle of your wine cellar. Eren preferred other alcoholic beverages over wine, but he’d be a fool to complain. After all, this was the first time you and him had hung out in over a year. He was curious about what had made you want to let him into your residence but refused to ask. But, once again, that expressional face of his betrayed him. As he sipped his beverage, you could see the curious gaze within his emerald eyes, along with his slightly furrowed brows, and you knew exactly what he was thinking. “If you’re wondering why I invited you inside,” you paused, putting the expensive wine bottle to the side. “It’s not because it’s my birthday. I’m celebrating something else right now.” “What is it?” “Well,” your face changed into a serious, yet excited look. “I’m getting closer to finding Connie. Surveillance cameras spotted him.” “That’s great,” Eren smiled. He was happy, truly. While the police were still looking, they had failed to make any progress over the last three years.  Eren did everything he could, which amounted to never shutting up in front of the cameras, and opening his mouth about everything CS Records had done to him and Jean Kirstein.  With your help, he was able to get a few Silent Men tossed in prison, but not Connie. As badly as he wanted him to be punished, there was one thing he wanted even more. He wanted your old self to come back. “After he’s dealt with, do you think you’ll come hang out with your friends every now and then?” Eren asked softly. “We all miss you.” You took another sip of your wine.  “I can’t make any promises, Eren. Finding him won’t bring Armin and Levi back, and that’s what really . . .” your glass clinked as you sat it on top of a marble coaster. “Everyone’s always telling me that they would want me to be happy. Move on. And I know that, believe me, but what if I don’t feel better after Connie’s dead or in prison? What if I feel this shitty for the rest of my life? I keep telling myself that once they get justice, everything will go back to normal, but what is there to go back to? In the beginning, all I had was Armin. In the end, all I had was Levi. Who’s left?” “Your friends, Y/N.” Eren leaned forward. “We’re still here, and we aren’t going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere, you know that. Me, Jean, Annie, Sasha, Erwin, Hange . . . Reiner and Mikasa might not be close by, but they’re still here too.” “You say that, but Mikasa hasn’t said a word to me in years,” you took another sip of your wine, wishing that it was something stronger. “Have you reached out?”  You didn’t respond, which, indirectly, was an answer in itself. “If you don’t stop a friend from walking away, then you’re the one who has to reach out to bring them back. That’s how it works.” “Is that what you’re doing now? To me?” You raised your eyebrows at the man, who suddenly had grown wiser over the last few years.  “No,” Eren’s eyes darted down at the exquisite wooden table. “With you, I’m the one who walked away and I’m the one who’s reaching out. I just wish you wouldn’t push me away.” “Don’t take it personally.”

A few moments of silence passed.

Eren suddenly pulled two things out of his pocket. The first item was an old, braided, paracord keychain with faded green and brown colors. The second item was something you recognized. It was an overused, bent, blue bookmark. “This,” Eren held up the keychain, “belonged to Marco. He put his house key on this thing. I’ve kept it for years.”  “This,” Eren put the bookmark on the table, “belonged to Armin. He left it at my house that night before he was shot. Those two never knew each other, but they had a lot in common, you know? Both too kind for their own good.” “Both were killed by Connie.” You didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but you couldn’t help it, even if Marco’s death was an accident.  “Anyway, I just like to hold on to things people love, sometimes. They don’t necessarily have to be dead, either. Jean’s guitar pick is at my house . . . I have a scarf Mikasa used to love wearing . . . I have your-” “Do you have anything of Levi’s?” Cutting him off wasn’t intentional, but luckily, he didn’t mind.  “Yeah,” Eren’s eyes darted down to the ring he gifted you. “That ring.” “What?” You gave a confused frown. “What does that mean?” “I didn’t realize it at the time, but when Levi and I were talking at the hospital a few years ago, he told me in great detail what he wanted your wedding ceremony to look like. Even though you were already married, he was still going on and on about it. After he died, I realized that he wasn’t telling me his plans. He was trying to help me plan.” Eren smiled sadly. “I guess he thought that after his death, after grieving for a few months, you’d come right back to me. I don’t think he knew how much his death would change things. I don’t think he understood just how much you loved him, or how much I’d miss him. I used to look up to him, you know? But . . . I know you and me aren’t . . .” Eren stopped speaking. A pained look flashed in his eyes.  “Either way, no matter what, that ring was meant for you, so I wanted to give it to you.” A soft, miserable laugh of disbelief escaped you.  As smart as Levi, he was truly a fool if he thought moving on from someone like him would be so easy. No. Both he and Armin had left you forever changed. “I remember him promising me that I’d have a proper wedding with a proper ceremony. I didn’t know he wanted it to happen with someone who wasn’t him.” “Hey, don’t get the wrong idea,” Eren sat up a bit. “He did want that stuff with you, he just knew it couldn’t happen. That’s why he passed it on . . . to me.”  You nodded, indicating that you understood. And truly, you did. You understood just how cruel the world was. “Sometimes, I forget I’m not the only person grieving.” You reached out, touching Eren’s arm. “You know a thing or two about it as well, hm?” “Worst feeling in the world.” Eren suddenly sighed, masking his grief behind a false smile. “I guess I better get going. It’s late.” A frown appeared across your face. You wanted to ask him to stay, and knowing him, he would have, but you only stood up, getting ready to walk him out.  “Once all this is over, come find me, okay?” Eren smiled beautifully. No matter what, his grin could and would always make you go weak at the knees.  “I won’t make any promises,” you held onto one of the double doors as he stepped through.  “But thank you for coming over. It was nice. Goodnight.” “Goodnight.”

Eren gave you one last smile and made his way towards his car.

—

— CANADA, ONE WEEK LATER —

Connie knew it was a trap. 

A bearded guy was urging him to come into his family-owned bar, prattling on and on about how much he sought customers, and when Connie stepped into the dusty environment that smelt of wood, he knew something was off.

There was not a soul in the bar.

Connie sipped on the cheap bottle of beer, sleeved elbows pressed into the counter as the bartender watched him.

Connie cracked open a peanut. Sipped on his beverage. Listened to the soft music playing in the background. 

If this was a trap, just as his gut told him, then he wanted it to happen already because he was tired of this life. Tired of running. Tired of having nothing. 

The bar doors opened. Connie didn’t bother turning around, but he could hear it being locked.

Finally, he thought.

He could hear footsteps approaching, and he recognized them. It was the same rhythmic pattern of the person who once lived in his old mansion, walking up and down the halls, glancing into every room to see what he was doing. 

“I thought I told you I’d kill you if I ever saw your face again?” Connie shouted out, taking another swig of his beer.  

“And I told you that when you manipulate someone, you end up teaching them all of your tricks.” 

You made your way up to Connie, grabbing a seat on the stool next to him, crossing your legs as you smiled devilishly.

The bartender pulled out a gun, glaring at the former entrepreneur. 

He must’ve been some sort of bodyguard, as well as a shitty actor.

“You come here for revenge or some shit?” Connie rubbed the dark circles underneath his eyes. “Is that what this is? Are you trying to kill me now? ‘Cause I don’t think you have it in you.”

“Do you want me to try and kill you? Is that why you made it so easy for me to find you recently?” You tilted your head a bit. “I couldn’t piece together why, after all these years, would we suddenly be able to catch your face on camera. But it’s starting to make sense now.”

“I just wanted to see if what I heard was true. That you’ve turned out to be another version of me. Personal guards, business owner-”

“My businesses are greater than CS Records ever will be — or ever was, I should say. In such a short amount of time, I’m already more successful than you ever were,” you reached out, teasingly touching Connie’s shoulder. He could feel your hatred for him just in the way your fingertips graced his clothed skin.

“You can say that, but we’re the same, you and me. I started out only hurting people who hurt my friends and employees too. Manipulating people to make myself richer. Then, I started hurting anyone who made me look bad. All you need now is some fresh-faced, diamond-in-the-rough artist who’ll show up and ruin every-fucking-thing you worked hard to build. I suggest you find a hideout for yourself too.” 

Connie tried to take another swig of his beer, but the bottle was empty. 

“I had a great thing going until your ass came to Hollywood. Everyone was happy. Not just me, but my artists too. Then you just couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, huh? Why the fuck couldn’t you stay in New York?”

“I wish I stayed in New York too,” your voice was soft. “I wish I never met you.” 

 “Take it from me, Y/N.” For the first time since you arrived, Connie looked into your eyes. “Don’t fuck up like I did. Get your shit together . . . before it’s too late.” “Look who made words of encouragement their fun, new hobby,” you spoke with fake, sugary enthusiasm. “Keep working on that while you’re in prison.”

“What?” Connie furrowed his brows, his eyes darting over to the man with the gun. “You’re not gonna kill me?” 

“And put you out of your misery? No way,” you smiled cruelly, pushing his arm as if you were talking with a friend — chatting with a dear old pal. “No, see, what’s going to happen now is that you and I are both going to live, and we’ll both be miserable, because you’ll have nothing, and I’ll spend the rest of my life grieving. But, the only difference is that you’ll be behind bars, and I’ll be behind my office desks.”

You got up from your seat. 

“So, are you going to try to make a run for it, or will you make this nice and easy?”

“I’m not running.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause I’m tired, Y/N.” Connie got up from his seat. “Please don’t send me back to prison. Just kill me or something . . . Please.”

Your mind was made up, that much was clear, but Connie figured that he’d still try his hardest to change your mind. 

As the images of prison flashed through his mind, he was certain, for a fact, that he would rather burn in hell. “Hearing you beg like that reminds me of when I begged you not to imprison me after my album release party. Remember that?” With a small, little laugh, you started to make your way towards the doors. 

As soon as you unlocked the doors and stepped through them, your team of security bombarded the tiny, old-fashioned bar, and successfully detained Connie.

After yet another week, the prison Levi had poured his money into years ago was more than willing to continue with the deal. Not that he had any ounce of power to influence anyone to free him, to begin with. 

But, after a chaotic session of trials, overwhelming evidence, and teary-eyed speeches, Connie Springer would die in prison.

And, more importantly, Armin Arlert and Levi Ackerman could rest in peace.

—

— ONE MONTH LATER —

You were nervous. 

Panicked, even. 

But, even so, you knocked on the light brown door to Eren’s childhood home, which was rather nice, given that his dad was a doctor.

Carla answered with a look of curiosity, wiping her hands off on a kitchen towel as she greeted you. 

Even though the Yeager family had briefly moved to Maine for their safety, Eren still owned their home, hopeful for days like these, in which they could come back. And here they were. Right where they belonged.

“Hi, is Eren here?” You asked with as much kindness as you could muster. 

“He sure is,” Carla stepped to the side, welcoming you into the foyer. “Eren! Come here!”

Eren often spent Sunday afternoons visiting his family, so you heard. It was a new habit, one that came to him after almost losing his life and having his mother’s safety put in danger.

So, as it was 1:30 on the last day of the weekend, you had sought him out here, and from down a hallway, he approached, an amused grin appearing once he realized you were here.

“Hey, Y/N. You okay?” 

“I’m fine,” you said, glancing down at your shoes, then back up at him. “I know you’re spending time with your family and all, but I’m busy next weekend and the weekend after that, and weekdays are no better, so I was just wondering if I could . . . um . . .”

“Sure,” Eren agreed to whatever plans you hadn’t yet planned. “Let’s go.”

Minutes later, you and Eren were strolling down the street, side by side. Your eyes scanned his clothes. Something was rather different, and rather quickly, you pieced together what it was. He was wearing a white shirt with some sort of logo on it. His sweatpants were light blue.

Dressed only expecting to see his mother and father today, perhaps some cousins as well, certainly, but even so, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing what it symbolized.

“You’re not wearing black,” you pointed out. 

“Huh?” Eren looked down at his outfit. “Oh. Yeah. I love black clothes, don’t get me wrong, but it’s nice to not be forced to have to wear it, you know?”

He truly meant what he said long ago — that he was done living in the spotlight.

“What have you been doing lately? Since you’re not a rockstar anymore?”

“I don’t know. Nothing. Everything.” 

“Those are two different things, Eren.”

“C’mon, you know what I mean,” Eren kicked a rock, his hands in his pocket. “I’ve been hanging out with my family, traveling, trying new foods — oh, you ever try octopus before? Don’t eat it, you’re not missing anything — uh . . . what else . . . I’ve been playing guitar, which is pretty easy even with eight fingers . . .  I have time to watch movies now. I can nap. I don’t know, but I’m happy.”

You laughed softly. “Yeah, I can tell. Trust me.”

Eren smiled gently. You were both silent for a second, then, he asked, “Why’d you wanna come see me?”

You hesitated to answer for a moment, but then, you decided to tell him the truth.

“Connie . . . he gave me a bit of a wakeup call. Told me that I was headed down the same path as him. In fact, he warned me to change. Can you believe that?”

For once, in the longest time, Eren felt grateful for Connie’s existence. As stupid as he was, the idiotic, murderous man was correct.

“He’s right,” Eren said.

“I know. I’ve been wanting to reach out to you all month, but I finally just got the courage. Trying to not be like him won’t be easy, but I’m . . . trying. I went to Levi and Armin’s graves. Told them they could rest peacefully now. I started therapy. I’m hanging out with you. I’m trying.”

Eren halted his footsteps. As soon as he heard a sniffle come from you, he moved in front of you, pulling you in for a hug as a few tears streamed down your cheeks.

“I’m proud of you,” Eren whispered. “I started therapy too. Why do you think I’ve started to become so wise? And you know what he told me? He said that grief becomes manageable. I hope his ass is right. He can afford steak, lobster, and caviar with how much money he’s squeezing outta me because I’m there every week.”

Lightly, you chuckled a bit, although it was more of a puff of air rather than a laugh. 

You weren’t a fool. There was, perhaps, something that could help you feel just a bit better, even if it couldn’t cure your problems completely.

“I think I need to leave L.A. for a little while, maybe for a month. Maybe a year.”

Eren pulled away from you, surprised to hear such a statement coming from you. Your therapist must have cost a fortune too if they were this  incredibly skilled. 

“I agree, but, where are you going?” Eren frowned with worry.

You shrugged. 

“I don’t know, but in a few weeks, I’m going to briefly trust my companies to Erwin and Jean until I return. I think I want to visit the south, maybe. Aside from touring with you, I’ve only been down there once, but I miss it.” Shyly — an emotion you hadn’t experienced in years, you asked Eren, “Do you want to come with me? Maybe?”

Eren smiled. 

He was far from southern. Couldn’t wrap his mind around the sweet tea obsession and being overly friendly to strangers at the grocery store, but he’d go to hell with you if you asked him to. Even now, a few weeks early, he was ready to head home and pack his bags. 

After your long walk, you returned to Eren’s childhood home and had dinner with his family.

—

— TENNESSEE —

As an artist, Eren had the ability to travel the world, as grand in size as it was. Flying from state to state and from country to country was a gift, truly, but he never had the opportunity to explore. To sight-see. To witness the way other people outside of Los Angeles lived their lives — something he was very interested in, as he was a nosy person.

While on tour, he was only able to see backstage dressing rooms, hotels, and stadiums. Nothing more, usually.

But, now, as you and him rode in the backseat of a car, staring at gorgeous mountains and colorful, beautiful trees, he had to admit that it was a much better view than the Hollywood sign. 

Even so, it wasn’t nearly as beautiful as the woman sitting beside him, staring out of the window with a soft smile.

Around two hours later, you and Eren arrived at a spacious, modern farmhouse with a black and brown exterior that you purchased solely for this trip.

“It’s nice, right? Perfect place to hide away for a while?” 

You started walking up the steps, and Eren followed as you continued to speak. “And, listen, I don’t expect you to want to stay the entire time, because, like I said, I plan to be here for a few months if not an entire year, so you can leave whenever you’d like.”

“It means a lot that you asked me,” Eren said. “If it’s alright with you, I don’t wanna go anywhere.”

—

The next three days were spent exploring the surrounding tourist attractions. Together, you and Eren admired nature on hiking trails, drove to Nashville to experience music festivals, and of course, introduced yourselves to southern cuisine.

It wasn’t a total escape from the world of flashing lights and cameras, of course, as you and Eren were both still celebrities. 

But, even the simplest disguises — sunglasses and a hat or hood — often prevented people from doing a double take, and you were both able to enjoy yourselves somewhat peacefully.

As the sun started to set, the sky fading from a soft blue to a mesmerizing soft orange, bright and quirky neon signs were now on full display. Nearby, country singers performed on the street with nothing but a nice voice and an acoustic guitar, drawing in small, happy crowds. 

People walked up and down the strip with their friends and families.

As you stood there, waiting patiently for Eren, you couldn’t help but admire them.

They all had someone. 

Loneliness was starting to creep back up within you like an old enemy, a subtle frown appearing on your face. But, just before those negative feelings could overwhelm the happiness you felt right now, Eren's voice snapped you back to your refreshing reality — unintentionally reminding you that you weren’t alone.

He was here, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Never had. 

Never will.

“Here,” he held out a tiny paper plate with peach cobbler on it. “Have you tried this before?”

Taking your plate as he glanced down at his own, you replied, “Yes. It’s really good!”

Your sudden excitement was all the convincing he needed. He bit into the sweet dessert, tasting the soft crust and sweet peaches. It was, indeed, a heartwarming meal, one that made him smile.

“I get why you wanted to come down here,” Eren said, going in for another bite as you took one as well. 

“See?” You sighed happily. “But anyway, tomorrow, I was thinking we could go canoeing. There’s a big lake nearby, and I’ve always wanted to try canoeing.”

“Okay,” Eren grinned.

“We can also go to a spa.” 

“Okay.”

“There’s also a cool restaurant I want to try.”

“Okay.”

Amusingly, you grinned, “is there any chance you want to count grains of sand with me too? You’re agreeing to everything right now. You’re the true definition of being down for whatever.”

“You knew that when I agreed to come to the south for a year on a whim,” Eren took another bite of his cobbler. “It’s nice to see you smile again, you know? You think I’m crazy enough to ruin that by turning down something you wanna do?”

“You’re adorable,” your compliment was mumbled, as, truly, it was something you meant to say in your head, but you spoke unintentionally, and Eren’s never-fading smile only brightened — adorably, of course.

Leaning down a bit, he softly kissed your cheek.

“You’re going to get peach cobbler on my face. That’s nasty.” 

He ignored your little comment, and kissed your cheek again, all because it made you smile.

—

When visiting a different state for longer than a couple of days, there comes a point when hopping from one tourist attraction to the next, trying an abundance of different foods, and relaxing near some sort of body of water had to briefly end to handle real-life adult tasks and responsibilities.

Typically, you would have had your live-in chef stock the fridge with groceries, and it had become a task that you were no longer familiar with doing. 

Every time you opened the refrigerator, there was a variety of food. Always.

However, during your attempts to heal your soul, you left your staff behind in Los Angeles, except for two bodyguards.

Even with Connie locked away, you still faced danger as a billionaire, celebrity, and human being. That was life, unfortunately.

Therefore, when you opened the fridge today, you were quite puzzled to see that — aside from three water bottles and a blue carton of eggs with only two remaining — it was empty.

“Eren,” you called out to the shirtless man in the living room, who just finished showering after working out in the home gym downstairs.

“Yeah?”

“I have to go to the grocery store, I’ll be right back.”

“No, I’ll go, you stay here.” Eren offered, already walking to his room to get fully dressed. 

“We could just go together.” Your suggestion went unanswered.

Shortly after, Eren left.

—

Two hours had passed. 

The closest grocery store wasn’t far. You hadn’t done such mundane things like grocery shopping in an incredibly long time, but it was just the two of you. 

There was no logical reason why he wasn’t back home yet.

You called him, twice, but after following the ringing sounds around your temporary home, you found his phone downstairs in the gym. He must’ve forgotten it while rushing out the door.

Maybe he was having trouble leaving the store. 

Maybe people realized who he was, and he was being bombarded by fans. Did he remember to wear a hat or hood? Did he have sunglasses with him? You couldn’t be certain.

Thirty more minutes passed.

You were pacing back and forth on the porch, waiting for a car to appear in your driveway.

What if he was sick of being around you, and he used this opportunity to escape back to California?

Why else would a man who has won Grammy awards be so excited and eager to go to Walmart?

What if he had gotten hurt? What if Connie did something, somehow? 

What if he had gotten into a car accident? Or a robbery?

What if he was dead?

“Jacob, can you please go to the local Walmart and see if Eren’s okay?” You said to one of your bodyguards who stood nearby, watching you pace around, biting your manicured nails.

“Yes ma’am.”

Moments later, his car drove off.

Your anxiety was all-consuming. The nausea you felt, swirling around in the pit of your stomach, made you consider hovering over the nearest toilet, but no. You couldn’t go back inside. Not now.

After what happened with Levi, never again would you assume that someone you cared for would return home after leaving.

Around twenty minutes drifted on by with you pacing, pacing, and pacing, only to stop when your phone rang. It was your bodyguard, informing you that he couldn’t find Eren at the nearest grocery store.

He promised to check again. Said he’d try a few other stores as well. He said something else too, but by then, you were sitting on the porch step, crying into your hands.

How guilty your other bodyguard felt — standing there, watching you. Rarely did you ever talk to him, and you hadn’t known anything about him aside from his name, which was Carter, but he was a sweet person, and he wanted to comfort his boss. But he couldn’t. His job was to watch over you and keep his eyes open, and only come in contact with you if it was to push or pull you out of harm’s way.

But you were crying. Sobbing. Assuming the worst.

When headlights came into view, you glanced up from your soaking-wet hands. Eren had barely parked the car before he hopped out — forgetting about the groceries entirely — and rushed up the steps before sitting by your side.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked with great worry, rubbing your back soothingly.

Both relief and great aggravation washed over you. 

“Where the hell were you, Eren? I was worried! How long does it take to buy a few groceries?”

Eren turned around, looking at your bodyguard. “Can you give us a minute?” 

Carter nodded and decided to busy himself by bringing the groceries in, putting them away, and telling the other bodyguard to come back.

“I’m sorry,” Eren spoke softly. “I took so long because I bought a lot of groceries, and I ended up talking to some people, and just taking my time. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You’re such an idiot,” you cried. “Why did you leave so eagerly, then? Why didn’t you ask me to come with you?”

Eren reached over, swiping his thumb across your cheek as he wiped your tears away. “Because I wanted to surprise you. I bought the stuff to make that salad you like. The one that reminds you of Armin? The strawberry chicken one? I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I thought you might’ve gotten hurt, or worse,” you sniffled. “Do you know how terrifying it is? Not knowing if someone you’re in love with will make it back home? Damn it, Eren . . .”

Eren pulled you in closer. From where your head rested near his neck and shoulder, you could feel just how fast his heart was beating.

Perhaps, it was from your confession, although, truthfully, it should have been a fact that he was well aware of. After all, Eren always had a place in your heart — something you told him repeatedly.

Love, in its truest and purest form, doesn’t ever simply die. 

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, so you don’t have to worry about me, okay? I’m not going anywhere. You couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried. You should know that by now.” Eren kissed your forehead. “And I’m in love with you too, but you should know that as well, right?”

A soft laugh escaped you.

When you pulled away from Eren, you stared into charming eyes that gazed into yours with nothing but love, and a tad bit of concern.

“What is it?” He asked.

Your lips were suddenly pressed against his before your new fear of being loved could overwhelm your desire to kiss him. And, god — when his hand cupped the side of your face, lips moving against yourself as if a lost piece of his soul was being restored, it felt as if you were both falling in love all over again, even if you were, perhaps, already there.

— One year later, Eren proposed. He had to outdo himself — create a romantic experience that would shame his former self, who married you in Las Vegas the first time around and tossed together a last-minute wedding.  Though, your marriage back then fit the wild love story you once both shared, but, even so, he had the pen once again, and he was determined to write this new fairytale properly.  And it would start with the perfect proposal. God, was he nervous. He arranged a beautiful display of twinkling fairy lights wrapped around gorgeous trees, flower petals spread on the ground, and he gathered a few musicians to play the violin as you both approached the desired spot. Much to your surprise, he got down on one knee, looking into your eyes with a hopeful gaze, and asked, “Will you marry me?” Eren rose to his feet and kissed you lovingly after you said yes.

— Leaving the South was like waking up from a dream — an amazing, beautiful dream, but, even so, you were determined to make your reality just as perfect. And it started with marrying Eren. Not yet had you returned to Los Angeles. Europe was your next destination, as it was the place where you and Eren were to be remarried. Much like your wedding to Connie, the memorable ceremony was held inside a gorgeous castle with lavish candle chandeliers and pretty flowers, esteemed guests, and a beautiful gown that graced your body — every immaculate detail that Levi had once imagined had come to life.  Upon seeing you in a gorgeous dress, tears streamed down Eren’s cheeks. He couldn’t believe his luck, getting the opportunity to marry you again. And Jean, who was his best man, having mended their friendship over the last few years, teared up a bit too out of complete and utter happiness for you both. They were all there to watch you walk down the aisle. Not only Jean, but Reiner, Hange, Erwin, Annie, Sasha, and even Mikasa — another friendship that was recently mended.  Loving vows were exchanged, romantic gazes cast upon one another. As you stared into the eyes of the man you would spend the rest of your life loving, you said, “I do.”  And you said it for the very last time.

—

No longer was your mansion in Los Angeles a place of loneliness. Eren had moved in, and your friends had visited quite often, filling your home with love and laughter, as it should be.  It wasn’t long before that very special night came, in which Eren thrust into you softly as he moaned, pressing kisses against your naked skin — touching his lips wherever he could. Never had he come so much in his life. He was almost embarrassed about the way he stuffed you, his pretty wife, and moaned your name like a prayer. That was why, although incredibly happy, he wasn’t surprised when you showed him a positive pregnancy test soon after. The best doctors in the world would guide you through your pregnancy.  Having miscarried before, it was tempting to let your pregnancy be consumed with nothing but fear and worry, but this time, you had someone to hold your hand. “I’m right here,” your husband often said. “I’ll always be here.” Giving birth in a hospital bed to a beautiful, healthy baby girl named Nia was one of the greatest, and most chaotic, days of your lives.  But Nia had a father who cried upon holding her, and a waiting room packed with family and friends who also adored her. She had you as well, a mother who would protect her and see to it that she wouldn’t ever know anything other than love and joy.  And thirteen years later, she was sitting outside on the luxurious patio with you, listening to you tell her your life story, which started with your old friend, and a tiny bakery in New York.

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

♡ — 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!

🎟: @consuming-karma @lilvampirina @okaystopwhore @chrollohearttags @nanamochii @bunny2612 @cupids-soul @crazychaoticizzy @ramonathinks @averysmolbear @seishirogf @6sakusa @levin4nami @chaotic-on-main @sad-darksoul @gwapbby @katestrophes @ventdavi154 @lovelyless-fiction @svftackerman @musegonemad @moonmalice @inciteterr0r @honeybleed @zeninsbitch @purple-milk24 @itzgabz22 @mooomuu @micafecitoconpan @beaniebanby @anonymousme23 @theitchbbbb @skit-brentfaiyaz @princessos-blog @elliesbabygirl @the-mrs-steve-harrington @kittenbabe00 @magictrump @hetalia-tumbler @hon3y-c0mb @bol0-de-morang0 @thisisketchy @yoongirecs @allofffmypeaches @sasha-glass @getwaves @deluluvibes @p3nislawd @emery-333

[manichsey]

hm, hi i guess...

Again, it's been a while since the last time and a lot had happend. Now i have i little cat named Daisy, and yes it is because of Daisy Jones and The Six!!! I am finally on my last year of high school, and i dont like to think about it bc i have no idea of what ill do after school, bc i know im going to college, but i dont like to think about it bc i just FREAK OUT everytime, in college i wont have my friends, college isnt like school that i can laugh all day and just gossip w my friends. College means im an adult, and i hate to think about it, i hate to know that in a few years i wont be a teenager anymore and thta my life will only depends on me, i hate that. I hate that im no longer a kid that goes to school and eats the snaks my mom made me, i hate that im growing up but yet i just want to grow up as fast as i can. I want to live my own life, i want to do whatever i want, i want to travel, i want to live my own life, so why is it so hard to grow up?

Also i have no idea of how im going to survive two months in my house with my family, i love my family so much and they r perfect, but recently the only person i really enjoy being with is my mom. Ever since my dad went like CRAZY i dont feel like he really my dad, i know he is my dad, but he is so different and i dont want to bpther him or give more problems to him, and at the same time my old sister - who is the person that i love most in the whole world - is so... i dont know how to say it but she is so far away even when she is home, she is always mad, angry or just so different... i cant explain it but i guess that what happend to my dad just hitted her different than it did to me. Me and my mom didnt freak out with dad, i guess we just couldnt react to what happened and we frozed. I frozed

I am not the same person i was before september 30th and i guess i wont ever be that person again. I frozed. Every day i go back to what happend that night, i didnt get over it, and im with almost two months of teasr in my throat and i cant cry bc of it bc i dont want to upset my dad and bc its been a while since that happend so dont want to bring it all up again, my family cant handle it and i dont think i can handle with it without screamig and crying and hitting my head in the wall . I just wish i could go back in time and prevent it. I dont know what peace is ever since that, i just feel calm when im not home, when my dad is not home or when im with my friends, and i feel terrible about it bc my dad is the BEST person in the whole world, i love him so fucking much, he was the first person in my family that knew that im lesbian, he was the first that i told bc i trust him with all of my heart and soul, and yet i feel like my spirit just left my body everytime i hear him running in the house, or talking a bit louder, and i cant help myself from feeling it. And i guess im the worst person in the world bc sometimes i just want to runaway and pretend that nothing happend even though my mind reminds me everyday of what happend.

I just want my life to be normal again and i dont know why im writing about it on the internet but here we are hahahaha

going to sleep now

bye bye

[k1ss-m3-b3tt3r]

𖣯 High as a Kite 𖣯

pairing: jonathan byers x male! reader (romantic)

summary: smoking weed takes away the feeling of loneliness by providing you with the most perfect food combinations and your best friends. jonathan tries to confess but you cant comprehend a word he says, making him embarrassed and you, wearing fuzzy llama socks, screaming in laughter.

warnings: cursing, weed, awkward but cute fluff :)

a/n: i love fluff and have such a weak heart for jonathan! also happy yule!!! not revised btw

you were always a stoner and somewhat a loner, until you met jonathan and argyle. whenever it was awkward, you would crack a joke and no one could stop laughing. its just something you picked up from high school a while back, the class clown title. you couldnt deal with emotions so getting high was comforting and you were better explaining how you feel while smoking.

while being a cool stoner, youre also oblivious as fuck. everyone notices and im pretty sure you lost most brain cells, but to jonathan you were perfect. not everything about you was perfect, definitely not, but the way you show that goofy smile really lights up the room was magical. it was a hard core crush at this point.

you were never really part of the group until last year, after all the shit that went down in hawkins. you started hanging out with argyle, liking his stoner ways and matched his energy perfectly. “we are all one with the world” and “bro think about it, we’re all just brains! i dont get why people could hate each other.” were things you said quite often while stoned.

today was the day though: to confess. jonathan was nervous, like extremely after the whole thing with nancy and the break up. it hurt him definitely but he decided it was time to actually get out there and do what he wants to do. jonathan invited you over, thinking about how to do this correctly, so he prepped himself, rehearsing the lines. all of a sudden, the doorbell rings.

“ill get it!” jonathan yells while getting off of his ass as quick as possible. his hands were pretty sweaty so he wiped it off, heading to the front door.

“whos that?” joyce says genuinely curious, but of course she rolls her eyes and puts her hand on her hip and steps in front of jonathan. “youre doing all the chores for a week if thats (y/n).” joyce smiles a cheeky grin.

the doorbell starts again, but this time being pressed on a thousand times. “IM COMING!!” joyce yells ignoring jonathan. “wait..!” he tells joyce but she ignores him. shes his mother after all, not the other way around.

once the doors open, (y/n) spins around. “heyyyy miss joyce!” she turns and looks at jonathan with the i knew it face. “uhh, want me to wait out here- nevermind its too cold..” (y/n) jogs inside and acts like its the coldest hes ever felt. jonathan just looks at him like hes an idiot. “come on, lets just go to my room” as he sighs to himself.

before they go anywhere, (y/n) whispers, “hey, bro, hey.. i got the good shit and i may have smoked half of it in my car, but i left you some!” “get your ass in the room!” jonathan mumbles in an exhausted but hushed voice, trying to get (y/n) into a room.

“uh, bye i guess miss joyce..?” “uh huh, you too (y/n)…” she gives a questioning voice with her brow raised, “dont get into any trouble!” (y/n) laughs it off and runs into the bedroom like an idiot. you can here the springs get hit on jonathans bed all the way from the door way.

jonathan gives a little grin, heading towards his room. when he gets there (y/n) is already bringing out the bong, packing it terribly since hes already high as a kite. “hey bro, you gotta check this shit out, its feisty! back i say, back!” while acting like the bag of weed is after him. jonathan laughs and sits on the bed, taking the whole bowl down in a few hits.

“what is in this (y/n)..?” jonathan starts to feel prickles in his legs and his eyes droop. “i told its good shit! i know the best people my man” (y/n) packs another bowl and starts hitting that shit like crazy.

ten minutes later, theyre starting at the ceiling, on the floor of course. jonathan looks over and catches the other guys face, its practically glowing. the guy sits up and looks towards jonathan with his eyes glazed over. “bro… what did i come over here for again..?” jonathan hesitates, “um, i dont know..” jonathan turns away thinking about the confession hes supposed to make but clearly doesnt remember what he practiced.

“damn.. you know man, you cant lie to me even if im high,” (y/n) says as he ruffles his hair and stands up, walking in circles because it “feels good” as you can quote it. “ok ok, i just have to say one thing i guess?” (y/n) stops and stares at him, while jonathan is taking in all his features, down to his beautiful eyes and.. llama socks..??

jonathan sighs, sitting up and rubbing his hands against his face. “umm, (y/n)?” “yuh?” jonathan laughs and just says, “yuh? what does that even mean mannn?” (y/n) looks at him and bursts out laughing. jonathan looks at his hands, “what was i saying?” “bro, i cant even remember what we’ve done for the past uhhh i dont know twelve minutes?” “uh huh, really specific there (y/n)..” (y/n) just grins.

(y/n) stares at the llama socks and whispers, “i think theyre watching me…” jonathan stands up, urgently, asking who is while looking outside. “…the llamas bro…” jonathan looks at him as (y/n) makes that goofy grin. that goofy grin lit up his heart and he realizes what this whole thing was about. he sits next to (y/n) and give him a shy smile.

“ok so um..” jonathan thinks for a moment before blurting out, “i think im in love with you?” (y/n) jolts up and looks at jonathan. “i dont think ive eaten anything today. should i be worried? will i die?” “did you even hear what i said?” jonathan laughs and touches the other guys hand. “i. am. in. love. with. you. does that make sense??” (y/n) just looks at jonathan then looks at his hand and then the door. “if you really love me, get me food my guy.” jonathan sits dumbfounded as (y/n) says that, wondering how he even fell in love with the guy, before laughing. “alright, deal i guess??”

jonathan goes out of his room a little embarrassed, while (y/n) was doing something wild most likely. as soon as jonathan gets back with the food, you have already made a nest out of blankets and pillows on the floor. “what…??” jonathan takes a second before speaking again, “what are you doing?” (y/n) raised his hand, telling jonathan to stop speaking.

“i made a nest and i love you too loser.” (y/n) sits on the floor in his new nest, cuddled up in a ball. jonathan was too stunned to speak. he had to think about what was happening and almost dropped the chips he had in his hand. “so, you made me get food, built a nest, and now you say you love me??” “well..” (y/n) looks around, “yes? now get in.”

jonathan sits in the “nest” and (y/n) immediately pulls jonathan towards him, while sitting quietly. “you know you should brush your hair, its starting to look like an actual nest. jonathan starts laughing and fixing his hair. “is that better?” (y/n) looks at his nest below him and then looks back at jonathan, nodding to himself. “thatll do just fine.” (y/n) soft kisses his head.

jonathan looks around at the nest and then at the bags of chips before looking back at (y/n) again. “youre smoking privileges are being revoked after this.” jonathan laughs and (y/n) gives him a knowing look. “sure thing dude.. sure thing..”

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[minccinoocappuccino]

Out of all twst characters why leona? (genuine)

ahhhh well tbh when i started playing it was Kalim n Ruggie that were my number one but after hearing Leona's backstory i was like yes this is the man for me (i actually started twst on chap 2 i skipped chap 1 cus i wanted to see Ruggie sjsjsjssj) so Leona means a lot to me cus his struggles i understand v v well n its crazy how close it is to mine sjsjsjsjsj uhhh gonna talk about sort of mental stuff so just a heads up to anyone reading My sister is 15 years older than me which is around the same age difference at Leona n his older brother My sister was the straight a golden child my mom clearly had a fav n it fucked me n my other sister up bad n self esteem n it still affects our lives today nothing i did was good enough cus my oldest sister already did it n better so mom never cared when i was 13 (near or same age as leona when cheka was born) my sister had a baby n oh boy it was terrible mom acted like me n my other sister didnt exist this baby was her pride n joy n they keep trying to push the baby onto me n make me love her a watch her n stuff which just made me distance more from them (which is y leonas sister n law mad wrong for always gettting on leona for family thing with cheka) like i would have came around way faster f they let me go at my own pace n while im def better with it now when i see leona i see myself i know how he feels i know how depressing n unwanted it makes u feel n i get the inferiority complex it gives u n how u just wanna give up cus like u know what u do isnt gonna b good enough u tried n didnt get anything from it so u just stop n dont want to do anything

n while i do find leona hot like i said at first he wasnt my fav i get his struggle n i love how smart he is n how he hides how he feel cus i do that do my friends all say im a mix between ruggie n leona so i def feel a lot for him cus i understand y he does some of the things he does not saying hes n the right but i can understand his though process i think the chap 2 did do bad writing some things out n ppl def dont give him as much lead way as they do other characters that did the same VIl but u can def see his personality n events n cards he acts like he doesnt care but leona cares alot n that eats at him he wants to act indifferent but even ruggie calls him out for not being honest n i love that ;-; I think savanclaw is a good thing for him cus while he wont admit it he is happy he has a place where he feels he belongs n feels wanted there his coalition n i love that for him ahh ;-; sorry i hope this isnt to long or winded i really have lots to say about leonas character n stuff also idk y ppl keep stepping on his tail u would think going to a school with beastmen would make u watch where ur walking more often

[sinbury]

I’m relieved to hear you’re doing better!! I’m really sorry it took me a while to get to you life has really been beating me down lately and it made me nonverbal, I have thought of you though, how have you been?

I’m sorry, how’ve you been with that? I’ll never understand your loss but I do understand your bond, I have an older sibling and she means a lot to me. It’s funny huh they know how to tick you off but at the end of the day your each other’s missing piece.

Ohh okay good questions!! I do have a cat. I’ll show you pictures when I reveal myself but she’s a grey tabby!! I adore her and found her in the streets lol I have an older sister aaand my favorite hobby is crochet it gives my hands something to do yanno? I get pretty antsy so that helps. I wanna learn bass or maybe drums in the future (I heard the ladies love a girl who plays an instrument and I need something—anything to impress lol) jk I love the sound them 😊 okay, I’ll keep this short buuut I love villains because how misunderstood they are, most of them are woman and our feelings are belittled even in the media. It’s always “they’re crazy” or “you can’t excuse their behaviors because of their trauma” failing to realize that not everyone comes out of trauma as a soft uwu. Trauma isn’t pretty. And most men are forgiven by the public even after making terrible decisions. Some actions become a defensive mechanism and we just want what we deserve. People fail to see that with woman. Men get to feel rage and destruction and literally nobody bats an eye, that behavior is so normalized god forbid woman feel that same intensity of rage and selfishness without the public making entire studies about their behavior. I think 2 of my favorites that I can think of at the top of my head are Catra from shera and Jinx from Arcane. Maybe I’m bias? Now your turn, hobbies? What tv show are you currently watching? Fave season? - Red ❤️

thanks for responding!! i was starting to get worried abt u hehe xx im sorry to hear lifes been hard enough to make you nonverbal :( i dont know what thats like specifically but i know it must fucking suck. i hope u feel better soon and im sending u love 💕

grief sucks ass but its always nice to hear about other peoples siblings!! makes me feel a little bit closer to my brother sometimes :)

i am SO excited to see ur kitty!!! i love that u enjoy crochet bc i have dabbled in it myself and omg its tedious!! kudos for having that patience lmao. i def recommend learning bass too bc my brother was teaching me for a while and its SO FUN !!!!!! 1000/10 makes u feel like a sex god

i like your breakdown of villains in media too, thats always why ive been drawn to them too! especially hot sexy women who do unspeakable acts theres just something so good and cathartic about seeing that 😍😍😍 i havent seen all of she-ra or arcane but i do LOVE jinx from what little i know of her!!! probably due to my harley quinn obsession when i was in high school lmaooo

my pretty much only hobby is art. i just say art as a broad term bc i tend to skip around mediums forever and ever hehe i love all kinds of art!! im not currently watching anything new but one of my fav series is an old detective drama called Life bc the symbolism and the writing is just SO chefs kiss that ive seen it approximately 274818858 times!!! it only has 2 seasons and both are so beautiful in different ways :)

i realize now that i dont even know your pronouns smh!! tell me more abt u!!!! i need all the juicey deets >:3

[tsukkismoonlight]

Im in a mood so to break my haitus (sorta) here's some headcanons for dating/'talking' with some hq boys !!!

Kenma-dating

▪︎Not only does he send you random memes that he does the small nose breathe-laugh thing at, but he also sends you a Lets Play episode of some youtuber for you to watch

▪︎ He brings a blanket everywhere, you cannot convince me otherwise. Kenma is constantly cold, so, when you see him trudge up to you with the blanket, you know exactly what to do

▪︎and that is to take the blanket, wrap it around you and then bring him into your lap and wrap it around himself as well

▪︎Late nights are a thing with you two. But around 3am is when you have to drag him to bed, and promise him that tomorrow you can pick up with whatever game/show/etc y'all stayed up doing

▪︎sleeping in or getting up early, when you wake up, he likes to make coffee, or your favorite drink. Its quiet as neither of you are fully awake, but its always a comfortable silence

Nishinoya-talking

▪︎First of all, he acts tough but boy is he such a sweetheart. He has spent countless nights thinking ahead, planning what to say and do, this talking stage is so much more than talking

▪︎he subtlety compliments you, and tells you that you're working hard and to take it easy. He dotes on you and somehow makes it look easy to keep it on the downlow

▪︎Noya just wants to share everything with you. His favorite sport, his favorite comics and his favorite movies. He wants to bring extra snacks and tends to bring an extra waterbottle incase you need it

▪︎He sends goodnight and goodmorning texts, he will wait so impatiently by his phone for you to respond, and then he just grins happily or snickers at your response

▪︎The minute that anyone throws shade your way, or tries to pull a stunt, he is on it. Short king or not, no one gets past him, and frankly, no one really wants to try (he's got those crazy eyes lets be real)

▪︎you go to his games, you cheer the loudest and his eyes always find you easily. Afterwards, you are the first person he texts, and in the night, he'll call you, loving the way your voice sounds when you're tired

Oikawa-dating

▪︎First of all, he literally cannot get his hands off you. This poor boy just wants you. Your hand, your arm, thigh, to hold your face, everything and anything. He'll hug you, give forehead kisses, ofc only when you want them

▪︎That being said, he only ever sleeps well when you're over for the night. If you're not next to him, Oikawa tosses and turns all night (and then complains about it the next day)

▪︎Also, Oikawa is fairly vain, and so anytime you compliment him, it gets him going. He'll blush and then wave his hand as if to say, 'oh stop' but really he means the opposite

▪︎All he wants is for you to keep going, keep calling him cute, or adorable or handsome. He wants to hear you say his name or nickname, and he wants to know that you are only for him

▪︎Which leads us to the fact that he can get jealous easily. The moment another person looks at you, Oikawa flaunts the fact he's dating you. He'll grab your hand or kiss your cheek, when he wants to be painstakingly obvious about it, he just exclaims loudly that you are a couple

▪︎ And in all fairness, you probably love all of it. The hand holding, the forehead kisses, the pet names and his stares. He's so pretty, and when he's looking at you, it makes you feel the happiest and the luckiest

Asahi-talking

▪︎First off, Asahi has never dated anyone before let alone 'talk' to someone before, that being said, things can be a little unnerving for him. He's never sure what to say or when to say it, and he stumbles over his words when in person and misspells when texting

▪︎Not to mention the team is always giving conflicting advice. Tanaka says to go all out while Nishinoya says to play it cool, Suga says to be sweet and Daichi says to be yourself. But in the end Asahi ended up listening to Kiyoko the most, which was to yes be himself, but also to take his time if he needed

▪︎ Asahi makes sure to text you before school and say hello, and to remind you to bring your lunch and a water bottle. When he sees you there, he'll approach and ask if you slept okay and if he can carry any of your books

▪︎Slowly but surely he seems to get ahold of the talking stage, and even starts to get more confident. Confident enough to smoothly grab your hand and interlock his fingers with yours

▪︎Its the little things about him that you love the most, whether its the way he reacts to things or how he looks when his hair is down and his eyes aren't on you, or how his hand isn't exactly smooth but its not terribly rough or calloused, they're all the little things that make Asahi, Asahi.

Bokuto-dating

▪︎Lets get the record straight, Bokuto is the perfect example of a Golden Retriever Boy. He gets excited or everything and looooves any and all attention. When out on a date, he never lets go of your hand and never stops smiling.

▪︎Every little thing you do makes him giddy. Like playing with his hair, snuggling with him on the couch or even just telling a story to him.

▪︎He just loves you so much. Everytime he looks at you, especially when you aren't looking, he just has those eyes, the ones that are filled with dreams of the future, whatever that may hold for you both

▪︎Your favorite thing to do with him however, is when you're both cooking in the kitchen in your pjs, music playing a little to loud and neither of you can really hear the other, besides the laughter that is

▪︎Oh and dont get me started on his hugs. On your best, or your worst days, Bokuto gives The Best™️ hugs. As much as it seems, he doesnt always gives those bear hugs. Rather his hugs are soft and tender. He'll wrap his arms around you with just enough pressure, and hold you close with your head against his chest so you can hear his heart beat

Kyotani-talking

▪︎Okay so contrary to how he is with any other person in the world, Kentaro is actually a bit of a romantic but he just doesn't quite know how to show it. When he does he's a little aggressive, but not in the mean way

▪︎its a lot of "well maybe I want to hold your hand !" Or "you look amazing, okay?!" And honestly its kind of adorable when he does things like that.

▪︎He has to remind himself that you two aren't quite dating so he shouldn't come off too strong, but when you're together he just gets ahead of himself. Especially when someone else tries to butt in.

▪︎The moment someone says that technically, you're fair game since you two aren't dating, Kyotani gets defensive (and a little possessive) fast. If you're there, he'll grab your hand and pull you away, glaring at the person the whole time. If you're not there he'll just spit some nasty name at them and tell them to back off (and who's gonna tell him no?)

▪︎Another thing about him, is that he overthinks everything. He'll bring small gifts, whether its some snacks, or a stuffed animal, he figures that it'll make up for his brash personality, and that hopefully you'll stick around

▪︎which ofc you do. Not only do you know that he is so much more than his harsh exterior, but you know that you can be yourself around him, he isn't into the materialistic, as long as he knows that you're going to love him for him, thats all that he wants.

[asbestieos]

we used to be friends, way before, and like, wow, youve gone so far, proud of you

🥹🥹🥹 oh my goodness!! anon if youre who i think you are (i am somewhat confident in my silly hunch), im so happy to know youre still out there even if we dont talk anymore!!! admittedly i have the most terrible memory ever so i barely remember much of our time together (i wish i remembered more!! but as is, i cant even remember the last time i showered lmfao) but since its been such a long time, i hope its ok if i give you a Riley Life Update of the past.. two, three years? <- it feels like it has been longer than that 😭😭

2020!! i graduated!! i enrolled in school! i girlslayed hard! however due to World Events, i cant go to school in person and am relegated to online classes in my room </3 unfortunately im also in the deepest depths of my genshin phase and ran both my own And denver’s acc. sometimes i paid for her acc’s battlepass too it was bad DBDKBFJ

2021! girlslaying starting to fail from burnout and severe depression from being shut in! i passed my first semester exams with flying colors! i failed all but one of my second semester exams. also come january im both afflicted with covid and experiencing a bad bed bug infestation. #girlsuffering. i dropped out in the summer ^_^ this is when the terrible moodswings hit (i thought they were moodswings but as it turns out, i was incredibly emotionally unstable!! more on this later)

2022!! last year oh my gosh! denver and jasper/moth and i started talking about moving in together, which requires me to have money of course. so aprilish i get a job! i work at starbucks! i girlslay REALLY hard. i also start playing ensemble stars (the beginning of my curse……..). come july i had a massive breakdown and almost broke up with denver and our mutual friend group 👍 it was Bad bad.. but things worked out? <- this experience has led me to believe im probably a bpd haver becos of how wildly unstable i am. fun! crasy asf!

moving plans fall through as summer goes by, im still employed at my job, still havent gotten my license yet but it is ok i will get it soon, and come 2023, moving plans are back on!! hopefully will be seen-through ny the time summer comes…

tldr i have bpd, i dropped out and got a job, im gay a shit over idol bot gacha game, and by summer, ill hopefully be moved in with denver!! yeha those are the important updates! for me at least. randys in college now btw!!! in her sophomore year!! shes incredible truly! she lives on campus so i usually only see her once a month or so but shes literally awesome ^_^

very long update post and i made it all about me 💔 theres history between us that ive unfortunately forgotten and im sad that ive forgotten (then again i could always read back, but every time ive tried, ive only cringed at myself like OOGH is that me?? sickening) but im really glad to have gotten this anon!! if youre not the person i think you are thats okay and also i am sorry i assumed UEGEJVFDJF i needed this i think to try and reflect back on. the crazy ass time my newrly three years of adult life has been.. im 21 in july!!! crazy as hell!

i also hope the formatting is ok, i try to break up big paragraphs w/o starting a brand new one for the sake of readability <:] i think i mightbe learned that from you? i dont remember though guwbddjjd.. but i think about you on the occasion as i do with everyone ive ever met ever and im glad to know youre still kicking it like i am.. life is rough a hell 💔

theres not enough words i can say that can make up for not remembering us too well and also for saying and doing hurtful things to you if theres one thing ive not forgotten, its that i was not a very nice person way back when. but i hope now youre in a better place and you have friends who love you just as much as i did and still do!!

i have to go to work but uuwheuehehhehehrhfht thank you for reaching out anon i hope this post was nice to read and feel free to live in my inbox for forever, even if you wanna stay anonymous forever i dont mind! if youre not the person i was thinking of, rest well with the joy that youve given me a moment to reflect on myself euwhhwrh but if you ARE the person i was thinking of. im sorry i hurt you. and thank you!! i love you!! im glad you were a part of my life. i hope your day is good and your tomorrow is better!! live in my inbox if it pleases you!!

EDIT: FROGOR TO SAY IM PROUD OF YOU TOO 👍

[prettybutter-flyy]

so I'm in what i am calling my cacoon era.

The fact is i have a terrible habit of saying im going to do things to my friends and family and then just not doing it. A couple months ago i realized im only really letting myself down, bc they dont even expect me to do what i say anymore. In fact, i dont even think my loved ones really respect me, but thats a story for another time.

I was just getting so frustrated that my loved ones didnt really take me seriously and wouldnt come through for me but then i realized, i dont even do that shit for myself!

And this is not to say that i dont DESERVE my lov3d ones to show they care or prioritize me or whatever, i absolutely do. If you are someones irl moot, you should show you care about them and prioritize them sometimes.

My point is How can i be mad when others dont come through for me or make me a priority when i dont even prioritize myself?

I am not physically healthy, i eat like shit, im fat, o feel sluggish and weighed down and i dont like it. Dont get me wrong, im cute but i *feel* like shit.

I don't stand up for myself and i invalidate my feelings and thoughts constantly, always looking to others and social media for opinions.

I am not where i want to be financially. But thats just bc I got myself into like 8k debt when i was without a job a couple months ago.

Socially, i feel like im at the bottom of my friend group if I'm being 100% honest. They dont treat me poorly, but i can tell they think im stupid. Maybe we just have too much history, we have been friends since high school, so... and then it doesnt help that im the only single friend, and I'm happy for them genuinely, but the dynamics just change when friends get into relationships. I have 4 hs friends I see semi regularly, 2 of them are married and 2 have serious bfs. They hang out as couples and give me relationship advice and the married ones are getting ready to buy a house and maybe have kids. They're just in different stages of life man, and it peer pressures me into wanting that but im honestly not even sure if i do.

And professionally... idk im doing okay professionally. Im working at a news station as a show producer and my passion has always been film, writing and creating stuff. Its not an exact match but its okay for now and its sustainable and if I can play my networking hands right, i could move to where i want to be (a film firector). My issue here is i have the whole day to do this stuff (write, film, create, practice my art) and i just dont. Idk the mental blocks holding me back, is it my laziness or learned helplessness or what, but i just dont do things that i am passionate about.

All around, i am not where i want to be.

But I moved into my apartment in july, and thats a crazy story in itself but i am an hour away from my closest family (30-40 if i tale tolls). I didnt want to move so far away but recently, ive been getting signs that this was a good move for me. I need to isolate myself to make these changes: no going out to save money; instead workout, get my body how i want; practice making new friends, new SINGLE friends.

Ive slightly failed bc ive been talking to this guy for the last couple weeks but nothing is official and theres no reason it needs to be just yet. I want to get with at least one girl before i settle down with anyone.

My point is, i want to take the rest of my lease in this apartment as a chance to radically repair my life. To sprout my wings and become the butterfly that i feel like on the inside, and let that show on the outside. I deserve so much more than what ive given myself. If i were in a relationship w myself, i would have broken up with that bum ass bitch years ago.

So in my Cacoon era, im isolating myself, trying to make the changes internally and virtually alone, bc I will not have support from family and friends because i have said i was going to get my shit together so many times (and not done it) at this point, i imagine no one believes me. Im chrysalizing myself from a beautiful catipillar to emerge a beautiful butterfly - and I have to do the internal work as well, bc I could lose the weight and still be in a bad financial situation (how will i go on dates!) Or start hating myself and develop an ed (i don't now but i have addictive tendencies) or make shitty new friends who treat me worse than my hs friends (who i want to reiterate, havent really harmed me, just dont respect me). I cant just fix one aspect, they all tie in together, they're all a part of me and what makes me happy and if one of those things is off, i will still be as miserable as i am now.

My cacoon is meant to be protection from the outside, and an incubator for a new me.

So these are the things i want to change, im on a new platform where no one knows me and i have a lil freedom to explore and vent and whatever i want because this is my blog and i deserve it.

I deserve to do the things that i like. I deserve to look how i feel, i deserve friends that take me seriously, I deserve relationships that serve me and to be with someone im crazy about when the time is right. And you do too.

Please join me on this journey. Im begging, one thing i really need right now is a(n anonymous) community of ppl wanting to better themselves just like me, encouragement and maybe tips. An external force to be held accountable to.

Typically, i would ask what your thoughts are, but I don't really care, just follow my journey and tell me abt yours :)

[hookingminor]

three lessons - mat barzal

a/n: new series idea I just had, spoiler there is filth and the next parts will be as well also im not the best at writing smut so you’ll have to bear with me here. anyway! let me know what you think! comments/thoughts are always appreciated! also, I know it briefly mentions being the younger sister of a teammate, but I know nothing about the isles so its literally just for plot purposes don’t expect much from that and this isn’t proofread sorry

word count: 4.2k

summary: you’re tired of being a virgin, so you hit up Mat to help you with your problem and strike a deal

warnings (18+): loss of virginity, smut

PART TWO

-

This was by far the worst idea you’ve ever had.

In your twenty-one years of life, you’ve never had a worse idea. Your initial plan was crazy in and of itself, but adding Mat to the mix? It’s like you were asking to get your ass kicked.

The original thought came to you a year ago when you were sitting on the couch of your friend’s apartment, four glasses of wine into the night. She was complaining about her latest hookup, raging over the fact that he didn’t know where the clit was.

This is how it usually went between you two.

She was the one who got all the guys, the one who could pick up anyone from the bar and spend the night in a stranger’s bed without a second thought. You, however, were the wingwoman, the person who was left behind when your friend eventually decided to leave with a man.

It didn’t bother you that much. It’s not like you felt like you needed a boyfriend, you were secure in almost all aspects of your life, but the nagging thought in the back of your mind kept saying that you needed to get fucked. And soon.

Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your bloodstream or the fact that you hadn’t masturbated in nearly two weeks, but you rolled your eyes at your friend before you finally snapped.

“At least you’ve had someone to fuck the past few months! Be grateful you’re not me and still a virgin at twenty!” You shouted, fed up with hearing stories about how your friend’s sex life was so terrible. At least she had a sex life to begin with.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly, bringing your hand to cover your mouth in shock, “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s hard listening to you talk about this when I can’t contribute to the conversation.”

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry for always talking about it,” your friend said, eyes softening when she heard how regretful you sounded, “How about we change the subject?”

She didn’t wait for your response before launching into a monologue about how classes were going and her upcoming finals. You tried listening to her, but your mind was still stuck on the previous topic. Of course it was unfortunate that you happened to be twenty and with no sexual experience, but it didn’t bother you before like it was bothering you right now.

Ideas began racing through your head of how you could rectify this, and that’s when the seed was planted.

Now, almost a year later, your carefully thought out plan was almost complete; though, ‘carefully’ could be more loosely translated to ‘reckless.’

You paced outside of Mat’s door, walking back and forth as you fiddled with your hands, working up the courage to knock. This was such a bad idea. You brought your hand up to the door, pausing before your fist made contact before bringing it back down and resuming your pacing.

After another five minutes of deep contemplation, you made your decision. You knocked on the door before you could second guess yourself, now bringing your hands to tug at the strands of your hair.

The few seconds it took for Mat to answer the door felt like a lifetime, and when he opened the door, you were met with a confused look.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked, peeking his head out of the door to glance down the hallway.

“Hi, I know you weren’t expecting me and you have to leave for practice soon, but I needed to talk to you about something,” you explained quickly.

Mat’s brows stayed furrowed in confusion, but he opened the door further to let you inside.

“Firstly, I just wanted to say that Anders doesn’t know I’m here, and I’d really appreciate it if you never mentioned it to him,” you said as he closed the door behind you.

Mat ushered you into his living room, gesturing for you to take a seat on the couch as he crossed his arms and waited for you to continue.

“This is going to sound absolutely crazy and you’re probably going to reject me but just hear me out,” you said, taking a deep sigh. He was totally going to shut you down, but there was no turning back now.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d have sex with me. You’d be doing me a favor as my friend. I’m kind of… a virgin… and I really don’t want to be anymore,” you took a breath to watch his reaction which was unreadable, “You’re probably thinking it’s a terrible idea, being that I’m Anders’s sister and everything, but I promise I won’t say anything to him. I just want to get a little experience under my belt… it’s kind of embarrassing. Anyway, I just wanted to ask if you’d give me a few lessons or something.”

You raised your eyes to meet Mat’s as you finished your rant, worrying about what he was going to say. A long silence fell between you two as he processed what you said.

“Uh… I don’t really know what to say,” he started awkwardly, bringing his hand to rub at the back of his neck, “I’m honored, I guess? That you asked me to help, but I’m just a little confused since we don’t really know each other.”

Okay, you could give him that. It was true that you weren’t the closest of friends, but you’d met on a handful occasions. It’s not like you were complete strangers, but other than knowing what you were studying in school and that you were Anders’s much younger sister, he didn’t know much about you.

“That’s fair,” you said, “I asked you because, well, you’re obviously hot which I’m sure you know. Also, not knowing each other is what makes this perfect. I’m not attached to you in any way and vice versa. Honestly? You’re one of the few guys in town that I feel comfortable around, so it was either ask you or find a random Tinder hookup and have to do this speech all over again but ten times as awkward.”

Mat didn’t like the last part of that explanation: the whole ‘random Tinder hookup to take your virginity’ part. He may not have known you that well, but he knew you were a nice girl and deserved to be more than just a notch on the bedpost of someone who didn’t care about you.

“I know you’re probably thinking I’m insane, and I get it. I felt a little insane when I thought about this too. But I really feel like you’re the best option. I understand if you think it’s too weird, though,” you said when he hadn’t replied. Your eyes watched him as he sat still as a rock across from you.

“I… I have to leave for practice soon,” was the only thing he responded with.

You felt your heart drop at his statement. Of course he was going to say no, you were an idiot for even trying.

“Yeah, totally, I’ll get going,” you said quickly, gathering your stuff and making your way to the entrance.

When you reached the door, you turned back one last time to see him still in the same position.

“Can you not tell Anders, please? I know this was a crazy, stupid idea but… just don’t tell him, okay? He doesn’t need to know about my sex… well, lack of sex life,” you added before shutting the door behind you.

-

Mat had lost his mind.

Truly and honestly, he had lost his mind if he was even considering your proposition. Which he was. He was really considering your proposition, and he wanted to punch himself for it.

He couldn’t possibly agree to this, could he? You were the captain’s younger sister. Sure, you two weren’t the closest of siblings, but the code still applied. And the code clearly said he was not allowed to fraternize with relatives of his teammates in any way. He hadn’t broken this rule yet, and he couldn’t believe he was even thinking about breaking it now.

Inside his head, he weighed the pros and the cons of sleeping with you. Well, teaching you would be a better phrase. If Mat was being honest, he had blacked out after the terms ‘virgin’ and ‘have sex with me’ fell from your lips. He watched you from his spot on the couch, his eyes following your mouth but not processing the words you were saying. Truthfully, he ran over the conversation a million times in his head and he wasn’t sure he was actually processing them now.

You wanted him to take your virginity. You wanted him to give you experience. You called them lessons.

You were, quite literally, asking him to be your sex tutor.

When you left the apartment, he did what he did best. He compartmentalized. Instead of thinking about the awkward conversation he just had with you, he pushed all thoughts of you from his mind and went to practice. For a whole three hours he focused on hockey. He even had the courage to look at his captain despite the weird interaction he’d just had with his sister.

But then practice was over, and Mat was left with nothing to do but think about what you said. Thinking turned into contemplating, and contemplating eventually turned into pulling up your Instagram page.

Mat typed and retyped the message a million times, deleting it before he could accidentally pressed send. He went back and forth between wanting to say yes and throwing his phone as far away from him so he wouldn’t be tempted.

What could be the worst thing that happened? He thought.

A million bad things could happen. He knew this deep in his heart that it was, for all intents and purposes, the worst idea ever to teach his captain’s sister how to have sex, but his head and desire to get laid had other plans.

So, he picked up his phone one last time and composed the same message he’d written a hundred times.

to @yourusername: does your offer still stand? text me 212-203-3849

-

For the second time in a week, you were pacing outside of Mat’s apartment. You’d received his message almost six days ago, and now here you were.

Your chest nearly collapsed with relief when you’d seen he wanted to take you up on your offer. And then your stomach filled with butterflies, nerves wracking your body as you now had an official plan to lose your virginity.

You eagerly liked the message, dialing his number in your phone so you could hash out the details over text. He promised you two would go over some ground rules in person, saying it felt too weird to have a written contract or something over text. You agreed to his plans and set a date to go over to his apartment that following weekend.

Feeling more courageous than you did a week ago, you knocked on the door with confidence this time. If you were going to lose your virginity tonight, you weren’t going to look like a frightened kitten when you did.

Mat greeted you with a warm smile this time, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. Same as last time, he ushered you into his apartment and directed you towards his couch.

“Do you want anything to drink? I was about to open a bottle of wine,” Mat asked, already moving to the kitchen.

“Yeah, wine would be great. Thanks,” you replied, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

Mat tinkered around in the kitchen for a couple minutes before he joined you, handing you a glass of red. You took a long sip as he settled down, hoping the wine would work fast to calm your nerves.

“So, what did you want to discuss first?” He asked after a moment.

“Well, we should probably have some ground rules. I was thinking that since you’re the expert and all, you should decide how these lessons go. Oh, and I think that we should keep this to a three-time thing. Anything more than that will probably get more complicated,” you answered with ease. Not to say you had spent the past week thinking about what you were going to say, but you definitely did.

Mat nodded in agreement at your suggestions before adding his own.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Also, we can’t tell anyone about this because, you know, your brother and the team and all,” he said. You hummed in response, that much was a given. No one could know about this.

“So, where do we start? Should I take off my clothes or?” You asked.

“No,” he said with a chuckle, “We’re going to watch a movie.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. For now at least.”

You hadn’t known what you were expecting, but it was not a cuddle session on his couch. You imagined that maybe he would’ve just ripped your clothes off the minute you walked in to get down to business, but he was being way more casual than you were feeling. Which was probably a good thing because your heart was beating a thousand beats a minute, so at least one of you had this situation under control.

Mat had told you to dress comfortably as he didn’t plan on leaving the apartment, and he was dressed in a similar fashion as you: gray sweatpants with a dark blue t-shirt. You had thrown on a pair of leggings and a shirt from your college before leaving, making sure to wear at least a nice bralette and pair of panties underneath.

He drank down the rest of his wine before adjusting himself on the couch, moving into a position where he was laying down. Grabbing the blanket folded on the back cushion, he spread it out over his body before patting the spot in front of him. Normally, you would’ve been intimidated by a bold move like this, but the wide smile on his face indicated that he was perfectly comfortable right now, and his ease surrounded you in waves.

Slamming back the rest of your wine, you lay down in front of him, tucking your body against his while his arms pulled your chest closer.

“Anything specific you want to watch?” He asked, using his free hand to grab the remote. You muttered a quiet ‘no,’ allowing him to go ahead and choose. Mat scrolled through the Netflix options before settling on a new action movie.

“So, how much experience do you have exactly?” Mat asked once the introduction credits had finished. It was a good thing he wasn’t looking at you because your face heated up in embarrassment.

“I’ve only ever got as far as making out,” you muttered.

“No one’s ever touched you then?” He prodded.

“No,” you replied, your cheeks on fire. You couldn’t see him, but Mat nodded in response against the back of your head, letting out a quiet ‘okay.’

It wasn’t the first time Mat had been with a virgin, but that hadn’t been since high school and when he also wasn’t that experienced himself. Mat decided to let the movie play for a little bit longer before making his first move.

That time came when there was a particularly slow scene on. Slowly, he lifted up the hem of your t-shirt and slid his hand underneath, tracing small circles on the skin of your stomach. You clenched your thighs together as a warm feeling started to spread throughout your body.

It was happening.

Mat kept his hands there for a few minutes, inching up so slowly you almost couldn’t tell he’d moved at all. When the initial shock of his touch settled, you tried to refocus your attention to the movie.

Another ten minutes passed before Mat made his next move. Almost imperceptibly, he used his elbow to push his torso up before he brushed the hair covering your neck to the side. You felt his fingertips brush your ear, a shiver running up your spine. He brought his lips to your neck a split second later, placing a soft kiss against it.

Your eyes briefly shut for a second, reveling in the fact that Mat’s lips were on your neck. He kissed around your jaw a couple times before the hand on his stomach was shifting you to rest on your back. Your body followed his lead and your eyes met his hazel ones before he was leaning in to kiss your lips.

A heat unfurled in your body the second your lips connected and you eagerly moved yours against his. One of Mat’s hands had moved to the back of your neck to tilt your head at a better angle, the other hand moving further up under your shirt to rest just below your bra clasp. Your body involuntarily arched up into his hands as his tongue slipped out to part your lips. You opened your mouth and his tongue entered immediately, tangling with yours. You and Mat lay on the couch for a good while, making out heavily before you eventually had to break it for air.

“At least you don’t have to worry about kissing. You’re a natural,” Mat commended with an airy chuckle, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his compliment.

Mat’s smile brightened at your laugh before he leaned back in, the heat building in your body at double speed. You knew you were attracted to him, but you didn’t think he would be able to wind you up this fast. Or maybe it was just because you’ve never had a man touch you like this before.

Breaking the kiss, Mat began to trail more kisses down your body, pausing near your collarbone when he heard a particular breathy gasp leave your mouth. Mat continued his path over your shirt until he reached your belly button.

“Can I take this off?” He asked, looking up at you.

“You can take mine off if you take yours off,” you replied with a seductive smirk. Mat pulled back from your body, matching your smirk with one of his own as he tore off his shirt. Less than a second later, he was tugging at the hem of yours, urging you to sit up so he could take it off.

Mat’s hands were back on your body right after he tossed your shirt on the floor. This time, he retraced his path down your torso with his mouth and tongue, leaving no patch of skin untouched. His fingers danced around the edge of your leggings, teasing you until you were lifting up your hips into his face.

“Please take them off, Mat,” you said through gasps, wanting nothing more than to be rid of your clothing. He chuckled lightly against your waistband, his nose tickling your abdomen before he began shimmying off your leggings.

Tilting your hips up, you helped him slide the pants down your legs along with your underwear. Though your cheeks flamed up at the thought of being exposed before Mat, you felt oddly calm (well, as calm as you can be given the circumstances) with him.

“Holy shit, baby. You’re soaked,” Mat noted with a deep groan. He shuffled his body further down the couch into a comfortable position, lifting one leg to hook over his shoulder.

You breathed in shaky breaths as Mat placed gentle kisses on your thighs, working upwards slowly until he reached your core. And when he used his tongue to lick a strip across your pussy, your back arched into the air as you let out a loud moan.

“You gotta stay still, Y/N,” Mat chuckled darkly, wrapping one hand to steady your middle.

“Sorry, never done this before,” you replied in gasps.

Now immobilized, Mat resumed his place between your legs, repeating the same series of licks before he closed his lips around your clit. He flicked his tongue across the sensitive area. God, you would have done this a long time ago if you knew it would feel this good. You weren’t sure if it was too early to feel the heat inside you build up this quickly or if Mat was just too good at this. You hoped it was the latter.

His tongue lapped at your folds, and your hands flew down to grasp his hair in need. You didn’t think you could moan any louder, but then he brought his thumb to your clit to rub in tight circles as his tongue teased your entrance.

“Holy fuck,” you whined out, canting your hips up as much as you could. You could feel his smirk against your pussy at your exclamation, bringing his hand down to slowly enter a finger into you.

You let out a surprised gasp as you felt the first finger penetrate you. Mat kept his attention on your clit, lips sucking harshly at it. You let yourself get lost in the pleasure, focusing on how good he was making you feel.

After a few thrusts of one finger, giving you plenty of time to adjust, he added a second, feeling your walls tighten around them. He moved both fingers in and out of you, alternating the pressure between your entrance and clit. Just when he hit the right spot inside you, your hand tugged on his hair tightly, and he took the hint to curl his fingers against that spot.

“I’m so close, Mat,” you moaned, tossing your head back into the pillow.

“What do you need, baby?” He asked, pulling back for a quick breath. You glanced down to meet his gaze, taking in the way his chin glistened from your pussy. The view made you moan lowly, and his eyes darkened at the sound.

“Your tongue, please,” you begged quietly.

Mat heard the words leave your mouth and nestled his face back between your legs, tongue sliding up your slit in response. In rhythm with stroking your g-spot, he sucked at your clit, and it was mere seconds before your body coiled tightly inside. He kept the same pace and before long, you felt yourself crest the peak and then fall.

Mat removed his fingers slowly from your entrance, his tongue licking softly at your folds until he felt your breathing return to normal. It took you a few seconds to regain your sense of self, stars still whirling in the corners of your vision. When you finally felt yourself grounded on Earth again, you opened your eyes to see a self-satisfied smirk on Mat’s face.

“You’re so hot when you come,” he said when you met his gaze, and had you not been riding high on cloud nine when he said this, you might have blushed in embarrassment. But you weren’t embarrassed right now. The only thing you felt was giddy. Giddy because you were one step closer to your end goal.

And while you were blissed out, you dropped your gaze to notice the extremely visible bulge tenting in his sweatpants. Focused on a new task, you sat up quickly before leaning over Mat’s body so you could return the favor. Your lips crashed against his in a frenzy, your hands clumsily reaching down to grasp his length. However, you only got to feel it for a second before Mat’s hand was tugging it away.

“Not tonight, babe. Tonight was about you,” Mat said with a strained voice, breaking the kiss to look at you.

“What do you mean? We’re not having sex tonight?” You asked in confusion, your head still a little hazy from the orgasm.

“No, we’re not,” he laughed, noticing the wantonness in your voice, “You said I’m in charge, right? This was already a lot for one night, so we’ll put off the sex until next time.”

You nodded your head, though you weren’t really understanding. It made sense. Tonight was a very big step for you, and he didn’t want to give you too much at once. But despite that, your pussy was begging for a repeat performance and you were so far gone you were willing to do just about anything Mat would say.

“What about you, though?” You asked, glancing down to the noticeable tent.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. We still have two more lessons. There’s plenty of time for that later,” he replied, though the bulge between you seemed to say otherwise.

“Promise you’re okay?” You insisted.

“I swear, Y/N,” he said with a chuckle.

A comfortable silence fell between you after that, and you couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face. Your eyes sparkled with renewed purpose, and you felt satisfied for the first time in a long time. A smile of Mat’s own slowly appeared on his face as he watched you light up before him. Before you could stop yourself, you threw yourself into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck.

“Thank you, Mat. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You said happily, punctuating each ‘thank you’ with a loud smacking kiss on his cheek.

When you pulled back to give him that award-winning smile again, Mat had one thought.

He was totally fucked.

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Request from @iwannagotospaceforever​: Could u do a Fred Weasley x reader maybe with prompt 12 and 13???

12: “I’m Fine!” “Y/n, there's blood coming out of your head!”

13: “You’re cute when you want to stab me”

A/N: I love this!!! I hope you guys enjoy, feel free to leave me any feedback or requests you might have <3

Prompt: You and Fred have been friends for a while, you’ll hang out together on school grounds, pull pranks with Fred, and just seem to get along well, unless its on the quidditch pitch, where your competitive natures can get a bit out of hand.

Warnings: Reader is not in the same house as Fred (Gryffindor), Swearing, mentions of blood, Frenemies type shit, Fluff, terrible quidditch writing

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You walked onto the quidditch pitch, resting your broom against your shoulder as you swung your other arm, excited for game day. You were determined to win this round, Gryffindor having won the last couple games, and you were not going to let your house fall into the same fate. You had been getting up early the past two weeks, trying out new flying techniques, working on your stamina, and practicing chaser moves with Fred. 

You and Fred have been friends since fourth year, having met in Snape's potions class when your concoction may have blown up in Snape’s face. After that you were constantly hanging out. Fred joined in of course, pulling pranks and just talking about random things in general, but for some reason, you and the older twin just had a connection. It might have had something to do with your competitive natures constantly keeping each other on your toes.

You spotted him on the other side of the field with George, each carrying their beaters gear and walking to the Gryffindor rest area. His eyes met yours and a smile spread across his face as he waved. 

“You’re going down” He mouthed, his hand that was once waving now having a thumb pointing downwards. You smiled back.

“Fuck off” You mouthed back, going to give him the bird before you suddenly remembered Dumbledore was watching, and he probably wouldn’t appreciate the gesture.

Fred made a fake sad face, making you laugh a bit before returning the gesture. Suddenly Lee Jordan's voice rang through the bleachers.

“Good afternoon everyone and welcome to the third game of the season, today we have Gryffindor against (Y/H). Lets have a good game, and may the best team win.

This signaled for you and the rest of your team to get on your brooms and fly up to the starting point, forming a circle with the other chasers on your team as well as the chasers on Gryffindor.

There was a bit of silence, before madam Hooch opened the trunk, releasing the bludgers and the golden snitch, before finally throwing the Quaffle into the air, officially starting the game.

After a few minutes you had finally gotten your hand on the quaffle, headed to the goal, and towards Fred and George. You saw George moving to block your left, and moved right, now having to face Fred. You had been practicing with him for the past few weeks, so you knew his weak spots, but he also knew yours. You faked going for the far right goal before quickly turning and going through the middle, scoring your team a point.

“That's ten points to (Y/H)!” Lee’s voice rang out, causing cheers and boos to ring through the crowd. You flew up beside Fred, having a moment before the next play started.

“You need to up your game Weasley” You said jokingly

“Please I saw you from a mile away” He joked back, suddenly making you think that he might have let you score.

“I swear to God Weasley, if you are going easy on me im going to kill you” You said, giving him a look, before starting to fly off, but not before Fred got in the last word.

“You look so cute when you want to stab me!” He said, causing you to look back at him and giving him a pose, causing the both of you to laugh, but secretly you had butterflies going insane in your stomach.

Did Fred Weasley just call you cute? You weren’t blind, you thought the twin were quite attractive, but every once in a while, you couldn’t help but think about Fred specifically, about how the sun caught his hair, or how his eyes crinkled when he smiled, or how he was able to laugh every day, but also made sure that you felt heard. 

You were quickly snapped out of your thoughts however when you made it back to the starting circle, putting your focus back into the game.

A few rounds later and you were 20-20 with Gryffindor. You had just gotten the ball again and was headed towards the goal, Fred facing you, a smirk on his face which only motivated you more. You were only a few seconds to scoring the goal, when Fred's face changed from irritating smugness, to worry. You didn’t have time to make out what he was saying before the right side of your head suddenly erupted with a sharp pain, and you were spiraling towards the ground.

The fact that you were still on your broom didn’t make the fall to bad, but before you knew what had happened, you were laying on your back looking at the sky.

“Looks like one of (Y/H) chasers got a good knock by one of the bludgers, that gotta hurt” Lee Jordan said

Madam Hooch was knelt beside you, asking you about the pain when Fred suddenly landed next you, running over and kneeling by your side.

“I know you said to not go easy on you but I swear it wasn’t me” He said, quickly, causing you to laugh a little.

“Fucking coward” You mumbled suddenly realizing that the game was still going on.

“Fred what are you doing go play I’m fine!” you said, finally sitting all the way up, your head spinning a bit.

“Y/n, there is blood coming out of your head!” Fred said, making you lift your hand to poke the side of your head, only to pull it back to see blood. Before you could say anything else to get Fred back to the game, Lee Jordan's voice rang through the crowd.

“Harry Potter has captured the Golden snitch! Gryffindor wins!” Lee said, causing the crowd to cheer.

“Well that sucks” You groaned. All the practice, only for the golden boy to catch the snitch AGAIN. You reached out your hand to Fred, motioning for him to help you up, which he took. However as soon as you were on your feet your head started to spin, but Fred saw you sway and caught you.

“I want you to go straight to the medical wing to make sure you don't have a concussion, Weasley can you take them?” Madam hooch said, making you roll your eyes.

“I don’t need to-” You started, not thinking your injury was such a big deal

“I would be happy to” Fred said before smiling at you, you glaring at him in return.

A few minutes later and you were sitting cross legged on on of the bed in the hospital wing, Fred making it his job to annoy you while  Madam Pomfry to checked on you.

“Be honest doc, how long do they have” Fred said, causing you to roll your eyes and swat his arm, which caused him to laugh.

“Y/N will be living for a long while, but you do have a very mild concussion, so I don’t want you to do anything labor intensive for the next week.

“What? But quidditch!” you practically yelled, horrified at the news.

“I don’t want to hear it, now at the end of the week, I want you to come back in so we can see how you’re healing, as for the rest of the day I want you to relax” Madam Pomfry said, giving you a sympathetic look before leaving to check up on someone who had a bad encounter with the wrong Polyjuice potion.

“It could be worse” Fred said, trying to lighten the mood, causing you to glare at him.

“How could it be worse?” You asked

“Well you could not have me to keep you company!” Fred said, causing you to groan.

“Death would have been a kinder fate” You said, before quickly laughing at Fred’s shocked expression. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding” You said, moving to get up, which Fred helped you do without fully realizing it.

“Are you sure you want to stick around? I can’t do any strenuous activities so I’m basically the most boring person in the world right now” You said, causing Fred to shake his head.

“Impossible, you could never be boring, but I have an idea if you’re up to it?” Fred asked, quirking a brow which made you suspicious, but you agreed non the less, nodding your head.

“Excellent, adventure awaits!” He said, before walking off while still having his arm around you.

A while later and you were sitting outside by the black lake, underneath a tree. You had been spending the last few minutes throwing rocks in the water, just watching the ripples.

“You think the squid is mad that we keep throwing rocks in his house?” You asked, causing Fred to laugh a bit.

“Why do you think I brought you along? If he suddenly wants to kill us I know you're going to be way slower than me.” Fred laughed, laughing even louder when you shoved his shoulder.

“Typical, you only bring me places to benefit your secret agenda” You joked, leaning your back against the tree.

“Nah, you're to pretty to sacrifice” He said, suddenly tensing up realizing he just said that.

You were feeling something similar, your face heating up as you shook your head, trying to dismiss the comment as something platonic. He just felt bad because you got hit.

“Fred, I am in dirty quidditch clothes, with crazy hair and a bruise on the side of my head, I wouldn’t describe myself as pretty right now” You said, thinking he would make a joke and that would be the end of it.

“Well I disagree” He said, the sincerity in his voice surprising you, you turned to look at him to see he was already looking at you, before looking down at his hands.

“You really scared me today” He started “When I saw you get hit, and saw you falling, I was so scared. I kept thinking of how it happened, how I could have stopped it, how you were probably out cold, but then I got down there, and you were the same you always were, calling me lame for not intentionally trying to kill my friend at quidditch” He finished, his joking tone returning a bit.

“I think the term I used was coward” You said, smiling a bit.

“Yeah, that I am, not because of quidditch though” Fred said, smiling a bit, but you weren’t, stuck trying to think about what he could be talking about.

“Fred, you pull pranks on professors for fun. You stole your parents car, for fun. I don’t need to say all the crazy things you’ve done to know you’re not a coward. Why do you think that?” You asked.

“Because I never told you about how I really felt” Fred said. Suddenly the butterflies in your stomach returned, causing your face to heat up.

“What?” You asked, not quite believing what you were hearing.

“I like you Y/n, I have for a while, but I haven't said anything because I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same way, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship” He said, still not looking in your eye and instead looking out on the lake.

“Well then I guess where both cowards” You said, causing Fred’s head to suddenly snap to look at you, which made you laugh a bit.

“What?” It was now Fred’s turn to look shocked. Instead of answering, you just shake your head and put a hand on his cheek, closing the space between you two and connecting your lips. Fred took no time to respond, moving his hand to gently cup the side of your face that wasn’t bruised. We stayed like that for a moment, before finally pulling away for air.

“Well, that was unexpected” Fred said, making you laugh.

“What that I like you back or that I’m such an amazing kisser even with a head injury” You said, making him laugh in return.

“Speaking of which, maybe we should stop, Pomfry said no strenuous activity and I wouldn’t want to-” Fred started but you knew he was joking.

“Just shut it and kiss me dumb ass” You said, smiling as he reconnected your lips again, this time the kiss going a bit further, his tongue sweeping your bottom lip. You opened your mouth, your hands moving to his hair and-

“Oi no snogging with a concussion!” George suddenly yelled from a bit a ways, Oliver and some of your team mates following.

“Mind your own business” Fred said, making you laugh.

“And here we are, trying to be good friends and make sure you haven't died or something” George said, shaking his head in feign disappointment. “This couldn’t have waited a week?”

“No!” You and Fred said in unison, causing the group to laugh before making their way back to the school, wanting to give you two some privacy, but not before George gave Fred a quick thumbs up, glad that he finally made his move.

“Well I’m glad you didn’t wait to tell me” You said once everyone was out of earshot.

“Me neither, except we still have to wait a week to-” Fred started, a suggestive smirk on his face.

“Fred Weasley I swear to God!” You yelled swatting his chest, causing him to fall into a fit of laughter which you quickly followed. Maybe getting hit by a bludger isn’t the worst thing that could happen.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah, to be hit in the head by a giant ball and be comforted by Fred Weasley. The Dream. TBH I know this ending is trash! But still I hope you enjoyed it, let me know if you have any recommendations or feedback! Also @iwannagotospaceforever​ I hope you liked it!