#but I also love The Santa Clause

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Wind: Guys, it’s almost Christmas! It’s time to start watching Christmas movies! You know what that means?

Sky: Watching The Santa Cl—

Warriors, shoving Sky aside: Watching Die Hard >:)

Wind: HECK YEAH

Sky: *sighs*

[safyresky]

How long is the wait before you have to Kribble Krabble???

Cuz like. We've no idea how long B-Man was head elf, right? We know that he was for SURE head elf for Scott for 8 years at least. And we KNOW he's been there for a HAUTE MINUTE given the photo he has with Mad Santa, okay? So HUNDREDS of years, then about 8 for Scott.

Then Curtis takes over and we know he's been head elf for like, at LEAST that year (given how he says "fyi I'm head elf NOW" to Jack, and Santa comments frequently enough on how Curtis needs to get his head in the game (wildcats!) bc he's head elf now), right? Then literal DECADES pass and we KNOW in that interim, Curtis explodes but then doesn't and goes on kribble krabble instead, right?

Okay. So like. Betty has deffs been there for a HAUTE MINUTE. I don't think there's ANY comment on how/when she started. So we can assume Betty has been there for DECADES at least if the whole Escape Clause debacle had Curtis exploding his way to Kribble Krabble.

Now I THINK she mentions she deferred it a bunch, or SOMEONE mentions she did. So like. Okay. We can deffer a Kribble Krabble. Cool! But how long did she do that for? How long did B-MAN do that for?

Moving on!

So Betty finally goes on Kribble Krabble, and then a year later Noel goes with her on his (their) Kribble Krabble so basically, WHEN DOES THE KRIBBLE KRABBLE TAKE EFFECT? BECAUSE THIS IS VERY MUCH GIVING

[songofsunset]

[secretlythatsme]

anyway dc x dp is my new fixation hell and i've had so many ideas for aus but one that's really sticking with me is a classic "danny has to run away to gotham because his home is no longer safe" au where danny is explicitly looking for other ghosts or at the very least is pulled to gotham because there are so many of them there.

he flies around for a while and finds this manor and he can sense so many nice ghosts! so he just. goes there! and stays! and this can be human danny showing up at their door injured or it can be ghost danny just flying in but regardless, the waynes would never turn him away. bruce would get suspicious absolutely, but he's seen enough traumatized abused kids to know the signs. thomas and martha? they think this new ghost kid is adorable!!

there could be angst sure but idk i love the idea of danny getting hurt by his parents or the giw and being so wary of more humans, and this place full of friendly ghosts would be so enticing. ghosts that don't try to immediately wreck his shit? ghosts that get territorial but are also extremely welcoming and have a habit of letting new kids into their haunt? the batfam who've dealt with the paranormal before and wouldn't give a shit? that's a normal tuesday for them babes. like please, danny just found heaven and it's in gotham.

despite all the "batfam adopts danny" aus i've seen, i rarely see people mention the ghosts of dead family members who would absolutely still be there and would definitely want to help danny :(

[oh2e]

We were discussing our favourite Christmas films at work but the only one I’d seen was the Muppet Christmas Carol. However, who needs Christmas films when you’ve got the Thanktival special on DVD?

[op15-moonwaltz]

*cracks knuckles* Headcanon that even after Jack thawed at the end of clause 3, a lot of the people still didn't trust him or even like him being around often. He was very frequently left out of plans and conversations, and more often then not purposefully avoided by a lot of them.

Mrs. Claus would invite him over for cocoa though. She was one of the few that welcomed him with open arms even after all the things he did and became his (sometimes physical) shoulder to cry on, he could never find the right words to tell her just how much her company meant to him

[myfanfictiongarden]

Just realised that the young actress who plays Betty in The Santa Clauses also plays Frances Montgomery in The Gilded Aga.

This young actress is rocking it.

[lmelodie]

THE POLL HAS SPOKEN! Yall get a smaller doodle dump this day (Blinter will be next week for certain)

More experimenting with style but with Kills this time. I am really liking the added gray to be honest. I myself often forget that he is physically in his fifties just because he has the energy of someone in their twenties with nothing to lose. But he is old man and I love him.

MORE GENDERBENT AU! I have a handful of doodles of more characters for this AU. Including MILF!Jack who is just constantly serving aint gonna lie. AS IS DUDE CHIMERA. Hot = Hot not matter the gender and that's true for everyone here. The pull of Lady Bernard is STRONG with this AU

Lucy and Ryder! I have a whole series of Epilogue Stories planned about the stories after the story, and one of those (hopefully) is gonna expand on Lucy and Ryders dynamic. I don't even know if it's even gonna be romantic! Maybe! We’ll see. 

A TSC Discord specific image of MN and Bman. Idk, I like em. They have fun.

Lucy Beach episode! I wanted to post this with the actual Beach EP ask I received but the cropping was all kinds of out of whack, but she’s here now. Ready to OWN Charlies ass at volleyball. 

[livvyofthelake]

well those three episodes were great fun also i just realized i forgot to watch a movie today. well that’s okay in a few days i’ll be watching all three santa clauses so it’ll even out and julie was way more fun than a movie <3

[chaoticallyfluffy]

I want more of the JL acting like normal celebrities.

Batman and Chappel Roan working together on a competitive cooking show against teams of Kylie Jenner and Danny Devito, Kanye West and Kesha, Taylor Swift and Superman, etc. They are a surprisingly good team who work together great. They end up winning the whole thing and a bunch of wholesome memes start trending about the two of them adopting you after your awful parents kicked you out. Superman and Taylor Swift are surprisingly a TERRIBLE team. They’re disqualified because they never finished cooking their meals as they were too busy arguing. They are memed to be the parents who kicked you out and desperately need a divorce.

Wonder Woman going on a survivor-like reality show about a bunch of celebrities stuck on an island together and all the contestants are whining about things like “My hair is so frizzy and Chad is SO hot, I don’t want him to see me like this omg” While Diana has already chopped down multiple trees, used the wood to make a cabin for everyone, hunted a wild boar which is currently roasting over a campfire she also made with the leftover sticks and leaves, and cracked the coconuts from the tree. The rest of the show is mostly a normal reality show. The other contestants never have to lift a finger and can peacefully gossip and have drama while being well fed, housed, and hydrated. The only real difference is that every few minute the camera switches to Diana wresting a grizzly bear or catching fish with her bare hands.

The masked singer where there’s a person in a colourful parrot costume singing on stage and everyone has to guess who it is. People have guessed many celebrities like Oliver Queen, Bruce Wayne, or even Lex Luther, but they mostly guessed famous singers because the guy is GOOD and there’s no way he doesn’t sing professionally. He sang songs like “Party in the USA”, “Call Me Maybe” and “Never Gonna Give You Up”. People were going crazy trying to figure out who he is. The time finally comes for the reveal. The man slowly takes off his parrot head and... it’s Batman. The crowd goes wild.

The Flash (Barry) and Green Lantern (Hal) make a podcast and spend the entire time going on long rants about their respective interests. Flash talks about forensic science and chemistry for an hour while GL hums in interest or asks questions every once in a while. After that GL rambles about airplanes and engineering for another hour while Flash enthusiastically nods and adds in related stories every so often. Twitter diagnoses them with autism.

Captain Marvel has a TikTok account where he posts himself trying suggestions from his fans. Some of his most popular videos include him juggling a bunch of chainsaws (perfectly, btw), pranking JL members, bedazzling Mr Minds prison jar with fake crystals and speech bubble stickers that make it look like Mr Mind is saying things like “I’m DUMB”, and his most popular by far, citing The Santa Clause rules to Black Adam and convincing him that since he killed his father technically that makes him his new dad (the horror stopped Black Adam in place mid battle, giving Marvel the perfect opportunity to punch him in the face. The punch has been slo-mo’d and memed to oblivion). His Batman mandated PR team has been begging him to stop for months but in response he posts himself TikTok dancing (terribly) in front of a green screen in the background showing an image of the emails while asking for more suggestions.

If anyone has any ideas like this or fics to recommend plz tell me In the comments, I love the Justice League just casually being celebrities.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲, 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚

𝐋𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: charlotte is adamant on making sure her dad knows exactly who the plate of cookies and glass of milk is for, and it isn’t him…

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: very cute fluffy dad! lewis

𝐚/𝐧: i couldn’t resist writing this blurb, he gives off dad vibes constantly 🥹🥹

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Charlotte loved Christmas, she loved helping you decorate the tree, helping her daddy set up all the lights outside, and adored dressing roscoe up in funny hats and sweaters. She also loved to bake cookies for santa and making sure Lewis knew the plate for him was off limits.

“Daddy!!”

You laughed, watching your five year old little girl climb off her kitchen stool, her curls bouncing as she ran towards the special stand where her plate would go for santa clause

“Yes darling?”

“Come here please!” she called back, standing with her hands on her hips, she was precious and got her sassy attitude from her dad, and you found it too adorable.

“Oh you look like you mean business princess…”

Lewis smiled biting back a laugh as he walked over and kneeled in front of his daughter

“See this plate daddy?”

“Yes I see it baby”

She nodded before pointing a finger at him, her eyes stern

“I made cookies for santa okay? So when I put the plate here and his glass of milk no touching okay daddy?”

Lewis wanted to laugh so bad, truth be told you couldn’t hold back the giggles either

“Mummy this is serious!!” she squealed, not impressed to see you amused

“I’m sorry my love, you’re right it’s not funny, right daddy?”

You watched your husband nod

“Mummy is right, I promise I won’t eat any of santa’s cookies or drink his milk I promise…”

Charlotte seemed pleased enough with this answer but still stuck her pinky finger out for him to link with his, the father-daughter duo always sticking to their pinky promises.

“And daddy…”

“Yes baby?”

Charlotte smiled innocently before holding his face gently in her hands

“If you eat a cookie or drink the milk, you’re on the naughty list which means you get only coal for Christmas!”

Lewis smiled letting out a soft laugh

“I promise I won’t princess..”

“Good! Thank you daddy!”

She yelled before taking off towards the kitchen, straight past you to continue decorating her cookies, a smile on he little face.

“Well she definitely gets her dramatics from you love…” Lewis said, coming up to kiss you softly to which you rolled your eyes jokingly

“Mhm but she got her sass from you…guess we know she’s our daughter for sure”

There was no doubt in the world of that, Charlotte was the perfect mix of you and Lewis, she might be opinionated and know what she wants, but at the end of the day she was the sweetest angel in the entire world.

Until someone threatened to eat santa’s cookies…never go for the cookies…

[safyresky]

Been thinking about CS!TSCS for a month at this point. Please enjoy these lil' doodles about it!

[ID in ALT and typed dialogue under cut :D]

Numero 1

Jacquie: Up the CHIMNEY?! Carol: RIGHT UP IT! MID DISCUSSION! Jacquie: GIRL, DUMP HIS ASS!!!!

Numero 2

Santa: How did you even GET that vest, huh?!?! Jacqueline: I MURDERED my PREDECESSOR. Santa: you what

Numero 3

Jack: Good day at work today, little flurry? Jacqueline: Mmmmmm yep! Told Santa I killed you for the vest and the title >:) Jack, turning around sharply and full of pride: HA! NICE!

---

These were the doods I meant to post last last Thursday after this scrimbly Jacqueline, lol. When I tell you that Crystal Springs TSCS has been IN MY HEAD, I AM NOT JOKING!

The reason I didn't post these sooner is bc I really wanted to draw the last one and hadn't gotten around to it as of yet, and I also wanted to colour these PROPER scrimblies because holy SHIT I LOVE COLOURING 🤩🤩🤩🤩

More fun facts about CS in TSCS:

Carol and Jacqueline have regular vent sessions. Mostly Carol; Jacqueline's just there for the TEA (and emotional support)

Her catchphrase could very much be "CAROL. DUMP HIS ASS" in this cs au

"Don't you mean tscs au?" NO. TSCS IS AN AU IN ITSELF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

She frustrates Santa to no end bc A) She's Jack Frost and he has previous biases, and B) she goes OUT OF HER WAY to bother him.

When I say Jacqueline dislikes tscs!Scott, I am not joking. It is not hyperbole. She can't STAND him. And she tells him that to his FACE. MULTIPLE TIMES. And adds insult to injury bc she's buds with Carol and Buddy and Sandy, lol, and all the new gen elves are like, chill with her

(I have a silly hc that Betty is a Bernelle kid and Jacquie's her godmother, lollllll)

She and I both dislike people who need change and refuse to work on themselves/believe they're FINE and it SHOWS.

After she made the claim about murdering Jack, Santa was TERRIFIED on top of his usual distaste for Jack's successor lmao

She was quite delighted at how Santa took that tale. Elaborated a bit. I imagine it went something like this:

"...you what?" Her murderous look intensified. Santa could easily picture the darkness gathering around her the way it did in cartoons when the evil character was. Well. Being evil. "You heard me!" She sounded way too delighted, Santa noted. "I killed my predecessor! You know, the guy before me? Yeah. Stabbed him right dead. Pulled the vest out of the melted pile of slush that was once Jack Frost the first and put it right on." "...Jesus Christ."

Anyway, after that, she goes home and Jack pops in for 4 o'clock coffee and the final image ensues, lol. This interaction follows that:

"And he believed you?" Jack asked, pulling out the chair next to her and plunking down, stretching out his legs and crossing them at the ankles. "Damn near shat himself about it, too," Jacqueline confirmed, looking sly over the top of her mug. Jack laughed. "Oh that's, that's marvellous." "Mm! It was! THEN I elaborated. Told him I took the vest like a war trophy, you know? Didn't even wash it or anything. Shame I said SLUSH instead of BLOOD because I bet he would've like. DIED on the spot picturing me putting on a blood soaked vest, ehehe. I swear Jack, I could see his soul leave his body. Definitely top 5 best days at work. Maybe top 3, even."

Jack is deffs enjoying retirement in this au! Going full vacation mode, spending most days in various hot spots on various beaches with various drinks, usually popping by the family home for 4 o'clock coffee and cocoa--and a break from the sun since he burns and Winter worries

YES he IS still wearing his suit pants. I thought that'd be funny and just about died picturing him in khakis

With every Jack I draw his hair grows more powerful, AS IT SHOULD BE!!

I DID draw a chair behind Jacqueline but her poofy hair ate it~

I think she is A) older in this au than she regularly is and B) is already married to Dite. I'm still on the fence about both those things, but she feels older in this au--probably because the entire cast is older lmao

Late night post is late bc I finished colouring this and wanted to share it asap, DAMN THE TIME!!!!

[kazoosandfannypacks]

AWWWWWW THIS IS SO ADORABLE THANK YOU!!!!!! 💚❤️

Kazoos Advent Calendar

@kazoosandfannypacks day

⚠️WARNING ⚠️

Under cut is not to be shared with children!

Todays gift is a story of Emma trying to explain Santa to Killian.

“Swan?”

“Yeah babe?”

“How do we know Santa Claus?”

That caused Emma to stop she was doing and look up at her husband. He wore a genuine look of curiosity.

“Wh-” Emma paused giving thought to what exactly she wanted to ask.

Killian took this moment to speak up, “Earlier today you told Hope Santa Claus was coming. All day I tried to figure out who this person was and how we know them. My apologies love but I can’t remember them or their importance and I’d rather get this settled before their visit. When are they visiting?”

Emma couldn’t help the slow smile spread across her face and the small chuckle escape her lips.

“Swan I’m being serious.”

Emma waves her hands and shake her head. “No I know. I sometimes forget- Never mind. Um We don’t know Santa Claus personally.”

Killians eyebrows scrunch in further confusion. “Then why are they coming for a visit?”

“They aren’t.” Emma paused trying to think how best to explain this, “Santa Claus is a myth. We tell kids if they behave and are good kids. Santa Claus comes down the chimney on Christmas and leaves them gifts.”

As Emma is explaining she watches her husbands face morph from confusion to curiosity to horror to acceptance. “So we tell our daughter if she is good enough a strange man will break into our home and leave her a present.”

“He’s not a stranger. Everyone knows Santa. He lives at the North Pole and has elves to help him make all the toys. He rides a flying sleigh pulled by reindeer. He wears a red suit and hat with white fur trim, has a fluffy white beard, and is a jolly kind soul. He watches over kids and has a naughty and nice list. If you’re on the naughty list, you get coal. If you’re on the nice list you get presents.”

Killian nods, “So he’s a story.”

“Yes.”

“Like Peter Pan.”

“Yes. No. Kinda,” Emma stutters trying to find the best way to explain this, “Saint Nicholas was a real person. A kinda man who’s generosity gave way to the legend/myth of Santa Claus. Santa Claus now is a figure for the joy of giving. Anyone can be Santa we just all imagine him a a jolly old guy in a red suit. He’s one of the few pieces of magic we have in this realm.”

Killian hummed, “you sound like your mother lass.”

“Hey during Christmas that isn’t a bad thing.”

A couple of days go by and their conversation of Santa Claus all but forgot until one night.

Emma and Killian were curled up on the couch with Hope fast asleep on the floor in her nest of pillows and blankets and Henry drifting off in the arm chair. The family decided to have a double Christmas feature tonight. The credits of Santa Clause 2 began to roll on screen and Killian turned to his drowsy wife.

“Love were these based on the true story of Santa Claus?”

Emma let the giggle freely flow from her mouth, the word yes on the top of her tip but she bit down and said, “No I don’t think this is based on a true story. But in storybrooke you never know. I mean I am the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and my husband is captain hook.”

“Yes well, in that case there’s no possible way these are true. Look what your realm did to my story.”

[signedkoko]

Hello! I just found your blog and oh my god I’m obsessed and I’ve read everything

Can I request some fluffy lucifer and Lilith x fem reader who’s really sweet and ultra feminine? Like 9/10 she’s always wearing a dress or a skirt long or short doesn’t matter, loves doing her makeup and doing her hair? and puts hella effort into her appearance on the daily not for her husband and wife but just for herself and because she can?

Lucifer X Reader X Lilith [Comfort]

In which you're as feminine as they come, and both Lucifer and Lilith adore that trait in you.

Lilith likes having you around, because since Charlie grew up theres been a bit of a hole of girl time in her schedule

Being able to give you advice and go to only the best spas in hell, leaving Lucifer behind to enjoy some company time

One of the best parts is when you do her makeup, she always does yours because she was trained from her dancer days, but when you do hers its so gentle

Telling her the purpose of each tool even if she's heard it a million times, each colour and shade, and the small peck you give her when you're done

Lilith is especially amazing with hair, and after helping you doll yourself up for the day its nice to get a good thirty minutes in just stroking through your well maintained hair and decide what'd frame your outfit best

Sometimes when she does your lipstick, she puts it on her and kisses it onto you to give it what she calls 'a faded makeout session look'

Well, it looks good, so who are you to complain

On the other hand, Lucifer is big on fashion and always makes sure he looks like he is making a statement, so he always bring syou back clothes which he has a tailor fix to your exact curve

He always tries to match with you but Lilith tells him off because she doesnt want you to match whatever santa clause aesthetic he has going on

The public loves you, marked as the newest and hottest addition tot heir relationship, which they encourage and tell you about

Lilith will bring you to her magazine shoots and insist only you can style her makeup and hair, though unfortunately they always draw the line at clothes

She thinks you'd dress her better than whatever they do

Charlie is also happy you wormed your way into their hearts, because you are a lot less intensive than her biological parents, and she appreciates how much you visit her

When you suggest Charlie join you and Lilith for some getaways, they both love the idea, so now you get some mothers to daughter time

Author's Note - Back to writing I am actually writing from the airport atm because I am heading back home for christmas! I will have a ton of time to write during that time, since I have now wrapped up my exams. Lucky me! I am 3 pina coladas in and ready for takeoff 🛫

Ayyways, thank you for requesting these two, I actually love poly with them so much and there is not enough of it out there (I would know, I read it all), so I hope I met your expectations 🖤

[brucewaynehater101]

I had an AU, that at this point is more of a headcanon for me, that I thought you might enjoy because it's a nice mix of angst, Tim not thinking things are as bad as they very clearly are, and some fluff.

So it's pretty widely accepted that the Bats don't really know anything about Tim's days with Young Justice right? Like they might know one or two small facts, but they don't know that the gang blew up Mount Rushmore, any of the times the DEO tried to arrest them and drag them into Government Labs for experimentation, or that time they went to a Disco Themed Hell with Supergirl. They sure as hell don't know about any of the things that happened with Secret and Harm. Even though Tim would canonically be gone for days at a time (some of his adventures, mainly the one when they were gone for THE ENTIRE WINTER OLYMPICS) with no one noticing. One time they were in space and had enough time to not only go to Darksied's planet but spent WEEKS there and when they got back still not even Batman knows that Tim was even gone.

Anyways, all this to say. If Tim vanished for a month or two and just said he was spending time with Young Justice again while sending in case files and stuff to keep Bruce busy, I don't think anyone would notice. Nor would they notice if he suddenly switched from being Right Handed to being Left Handed and then after months of practice he goes back to being right handed. It's such a small change after all.

So here's the headcanon. On a Young Justice mission, something goes horribly wrong and Tim full on looses his hand. It's simply gone. The reason no one knows or notices is that he got a robotic replacement, a very realistic looking one like Roy Harper has, that he spent a few months learning how to work with and then went to physical therapy for it for years. It's just part of his life now and he thinks everyone knows, after all. How could they miss it? Jason has seen his palm open with a screw driver deep in his wires. Jason thought he was still tripping from fighting Scarecrow a few hours before. Not a single person outside of Cassie, Tim, Kon, Bart, Greta, Anita, Slobo, and Cissie knows that Tim is missing his right arm just below his elbow for almost 5 years.

That is until Tim has been up for 4 days straight and Dick says something about needing a hand with something and in a moment of sleep deprived brilliance, Tim takes off his hand, and throws it at Dick.

Yes! I love this AU/hc. There is a fic that kind of has this situation: "I told you about that... Didn't I?" by weewoow_070603. Jason is the one to find out, though.

I like the details you added in this AU that the fic (as far as I remember) didn't add: Tim being gone is a regular thing, the fear toxin with Jason, the months of physical therapy, etc.

I do think something as vital as this would happen to Tim, and he'd just forget to tell his family. At first, he tries to hide it. He doesn't want to deal with their fretting, the lectures, the scolding, and them getting involved. He has it handled, after all. After a while, he forgets that he should hide it and why he did in the first place. Then someone finds out, and he's confused why they don't know such a common place thing.

I'm also super glad you tied in all those YJ examples that you did. People tend to focus on the space baseball or Santa Clause (which I love those events too), so it was refreshing to see other events as examples.

[queenimmadolla]

its maisie again

girl you arent getting any sleep ever cos on me

younger penny and wayne being in an absolute mood with reader because they saw her cheating on daddy…with santa claus 🎅

𝐈 𝐒𝐚𝐰 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐬

(dad!eddie x mom!reader)

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst and fluff, mentions of infidelity (no cheating), misunderstandings, implied sexual activity, hurt and a lot of comforting.

𝐚/𝐧: this started off as a little drabble and got way too long because, i dont know, i love them. nonetheless, i hope you all enjoy reading this. and as always, reblogs are appreciated and let me know how you all liked it (if you didn't, simply move on). merry christmas and happy holidays to you and your families! ♡ ♡ ♡

wc: 7.5k

“Penny…Penny…”

  Your little girl stirred in her bed, a small groan escaping her.

  “Penny, wake up!” Came another hurried whisper and finally the seven year old squinted her eyes open. She was scowling as she pushed herself up on her elbow, a fist rubbing her eye and pushing the curls out of her face.

  “What?” She snapped at her little brother, the toddler perched on her bed next to her. He didn’t look remotely apologetic or sheepish for venturing into her room and disturbing her from her slumber. No, he looked nervous, clenching his tiny hands to his pajama covered chest.

  He didn’t answer her right away, shifting uncomfortably in place with his big eyes on her akin to a puppy who had knocked over a vase and was now begging for sympathy.

  Penny knew her brother needed a little more prompting so she sighed and sat up, hands in her lap. 

  “What is it, Waynie?”

  He was quiet for a few more moments. Then, “....Sowwy.”

  She also knew he hadn’t woken her up for no reason, “It’s okay. Did you have a bad dream?”

  Wayne shook his head, short curls tossling. 

  “Nuh uh. I hadta go peepees so I gotted up and afta, I hud mommy in the kishen–”

  “She was probably washing dishes, Waynie.”

  Wayne shook his head again, this time with more urgency, “No, Penny! Mommy was talkin to Santa.”

  Penny sat up straighter, any lingering sleep withering away as she became instantly alert and concerned. “Santa?”

  Wayne nodded slowly in confirmation.

  “But–But it’s too early!” Christmas wasn’t until next week,  “What is he doing here? Does he make special visits? Are we in trouble?” 

  Penny let out a small gasp after the last question, horrified at the thought of Santa Claus coming to their home to tell their mommy and daddy how naughty they’d been.

  But–but they hadn’t been! Penny had been a good girl!!!! . . . Mostly. And Wayne, too! But from the way Wayne was looking at her, he also must have had his doubts.

  “What were they saying?” She demanded and he held up both of his hands and shrugged his shoulders up to his ears.

  “I dunno! I camta waked you up.”

  Well, Penny was going to get her answers. She flung her blanket off and hopped out of bed in her nightgown while Wayne climbed down after her, snug-footed covered feet landing on the carpet.

  “C’mon,” she encouraged as she quietly padded over to her door and slowly turned the knob, holding her breath as she pulled the door open. When it didn’t creak, Penny let out a sigh of relief and crept out of her bedroom, down the hall with her little brother toddling after her.

  Her eyes nearly flew right out of their sockets when she poked her head around the corner to see her mommy and Santa Clause standing in the middle of the living room, right by their christmas tree!

  She hid against the wall, turning her head to gape at her brother who had a look of I told you so on his face.

  They both peered around the corner once more to get another look at the scene, spy. Santa’s back was to them, but they could see their mommy’s face. She was smiling and had her fingers pressed to her mouth.

  “Are you sure it looks okay?” Santa asked you, and you nodded, eyes roving over him.

  “It looks great–much better than last years. I’m glad we tossed that one.”

  “Is it, though? Because I still feel stupid.”

  Then, to your children’s surprise, you wrapped your arms around Santa’s shoulders. And if that surprised them, then Santa placing his hands on your waist to pull you even closer should’ve sent them into shock. You only did that with their daddy!

  “Well, I don’t think you look stupid. In fact, I find the whole thing kind of…hot. Coming down the chimney, leaving presents that’ll have those kids smiling for weeks, doing this to make them happy–it’s all so very attractive.”

  “In that case, Santa’s not here just to make the kids happy.” 

  Penny and Wayne did not like the way Santa said that. Not one bit. It got worse.

  “I think you should save that talk for Mrs.Claus, Santa.” But you were looking up at him through your lashes, a coy smile on your lips. 

  “What Mrs.Claus doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.”

  Then Santa pulled you in, white gloved hand moving to cup the back of your head as you kissed him.

  If your kids were shocked when you and Santa displayed affection, Penny and Wayne were ready to faint as you kissed Santa Claus!

  Penny knew she had to get Wayne out of there, trying to quietly usher him back to his room but the toddler accidentally hit his elbow into the wall.

  “Did you hear that?”

  Penny and Wayne made a run for the nearest bedroom, Wayne’s. They scrambled under the blankets, settling and shutting their eyes just as the door opened, casting the yellow hue of hallway light into the room. They kept their breathing even as steps neared.

  “Why is Penny in here with him?”

  “He must have had a bad dream, he gets her sometimes. I’ve found them asleep in her bed a few times before.”

  “Oh, that’s cute as shit.”

  “I know–wait, get out of here. One of them might wake up and see you!” They heard their mommy hiss.

  “Oh, crap!” Then heavy footsteps retreating from Wayne’s room just before their mommy’s loving touch tucked them in. Penny felt her press a kiss to her forehead before she could tell her mommy was leaning over her fake sleeping body to kiss Waynie, too.

  Then your soft footsteps retreated and the door was quietly shut. 

  Wayne, the amateur, quickly turned to Penny and tried to talk but Penny shushed him and remained still for a few minutes. When she was sure her mommy wouldn’t be coming back, she spoke. 

  “Oh my goodness.”

  “Bad wuds.” Wayne whispered, thinking of the swear jar on the kitchen table. And he couldn’t even go get it and have Santa put a dollar inside. 

  “Santa’s potty mouth is the last thing we gotta worry about.” Penny whispered back, staring up at the glow in the dark star covered ceiling as she replayed the image of her mommy kissing Santa Claus.

  “Whudabout daddy?” Wayne asked, turning onto his side to face his big sister, little hand pressed between his pillow and his cheek.

  Penny came to a grim realization, “We gotta tell ‘im.”

  The next morning, when your kids came into the bedroom to wake you, they didn’t jump on the bed and lacked their normal enthusiasm.

  Penny simply shook Eddie’s arm until he stirred, which pulled you out of your own sleep as you were laying on his chest. 

  “Good morning,” he rasped out, squinting through one eye at them with a smile.

  Their reply were quiet mumblings of good morning. And when you leaned over Eddie, beaming at your babies, they didn’t smile back.

  “How’d you guys sleep?” You asked, conjuring up the image of your babies cuddled up in your toddler’s new big boy bed. You’d wanted to fall to your knees and coo over how cute they were.

  “Okay.” Then Penny just walked out of the room while Wayne lingered, watching her go before his eyes nervously returned to the two of you, who now looked confused.

  “Hungwy.” Was all he said before he hurried after his sister.

  When they were gone you pushed yourself off of Eddie and got out of the bed.

  “That was weird, right?”

  Eddie nodded mid-yawn, “She’s probably just tired still. You know how grumpy she gets when she doesn’t get enough sleep.”

  “Takes after you.” You teased, just barely dodging a pillow tossed your way as you walked towards the bathroom, “Hey!”

  After quickly washing up, and whacking Eddie awake with the pillow he’d thrown at you when you’d come out of the bathroom to find he’d fallen back asleep, you got started on breakfast.

  Normally, your kids would be in the kitchen eager to help you, but Penny and Wayne remained perched on the couch, watching Looney Tunes cartoons. 

  “Is it a funny episode?” You called from the kitchen as you pulled the eggs from the fridge.

  “They’re always funny.” Penny’s answer was blunt, she didn’t take her eyes off the TV.

  “I’m not too fond of the earlier re-runs, never really found them all that funny until Bugs Bunny stopped looking weird.” You stated, trying to keep the conversation going. Maybe once you got them going, they’d come to be your little helpers. 

  No such luck.

  They remained quiet until Eddie came striding out of the bedroom. The TV was all but abandoned as they jumped him with squeals of daddy.

  Eddie bent over so Penny could climb onto his back while Wayne tried to swing and hang from his arm.

  “I missed you, daddy.” Penny stated, arms wrapping around his neck from behind and she nuzzled her head against his. 

  “You missed me?” Eddie’s grin was clouded in confusion. He’d been a way for a solid week, three weeks ago. Corroded Coffin had opened up for some band they didn’t care for (and probably wouldn’t be associating with again, if the fight Gareth had with the guitarist was any indication).

  But he’d been back since then. 

  “Yeah, I missed you a lot. Even Waynie did–huh, Waynie?”

  Wayne didn’t reply, too focused on trying to hang onto his dad’s arm without falling. Eddie gently lowered him until his covered feet met the ground, and Penny was next.

  With his legs back on solid matter, Wayne’s attention shifted to you. He ran over laughing, last night’s events 

 forgotten, due to a short attention span, while he wrapped his arms around your legs, chin resting on your legs with his head angled up at you.

  That beaming little face warmed you right up. You abandoned the pancake mix to pick him up and he nestled against you, arms around your shoulders and legs wrapped along your rib cage.

  “There’s my little love bug.” You sighed out in content, giving him a gentle squeeze. Your son giggled and tried to squeeze you right back so you entertained him, pretending to choke at the strength he didn’t possess which only made him laugh harder before you shifted him onto your hip–a mission in itself with how heavy your baby was getting. 

  “You wanna help me make breakfast?”

  “Yeah!” He chirped enthusiastically. You turned your head to Penny who looked away a fraction of a second too late. With a harrumph, she stalked back towards the couch and didn’t spare either you or Eddie a second glance. 

  The two of you shared a confused look before Wayne was demanding your attention. He pointed at a wooden spoon on the counter and grunted. 

  “The spoon?” You asked, hand hovering over it as you waited for his confirmation. Wayne was getting better at words, but he still hadn’t mastered them very well. More often than not, he only spoke full sentences when he felt pressured to and sometimes that was too much for him, made him nervous. It was something you were working with him on and you’d noticed he spoke easier around certain people, namely Penny and his namesake, his grandpa Wayne (though to be fair, he and big Wayne didn’t talk much, just vibed in peaceful silence together, having to exchange very few words to understand each other).

  He didn’t respond right away, just brought his fingers up to his mouth and stared at the spoon so you jostled him softly to bring him out of his head and it worked. Wayne grinned at you and nodded his head so you picked the wooden spoon up and handed it to him only for him to grab it and hold it out to his dad, practically stretching right out of your arms to do so.

  Eddie gasped, closing the distance to take the spoon and his son right out of your arms.

  “Are you telling me to get to work?” He asked, eyes narrowing at the toddler. Wayne laughed around his fingers, head bobbing as he nodded and Eddie let out a playful growl, lowering his head until his temple was pressed against his son’s. 

  Wayne didn’t find his dad remotely scary, not even a little intimidating. He only laughed harder with it trailing into a joyful sigh. The toddler pressed his forehead firmly against his dad’s to call his bluff. 

  Eddie gave in immediately, head falling back as he sighed in defeat before perking up, “Fine. You win. Again.”

  Wayne was practically glowing with how hard he was smiling and it brought one to your own face as Eddie turned to you, cutie nestled against his chest with a tiny arm thrown over his dad’s shoulder.

  “Where do you want us, baby?”

  “Egg duty.” You flicked your chin in the direction of the carton of eggs, on the counter near the stove and empty pan.

  His mouth dropped open in mock disbelief, “Your lack of trust in my cooking abilities is hurtful. You never let me make pancakes anymore.”

  You scoffed, picking up the scraper you’d been using for the mix.

  “Last time you were trusted with that, you put way too many chocolate chips in. Three out of the four of us were laid up on the couch with tummy aches for the rest of the day.”

  Eddie pursed his lips as he fought a smile, eyes darting away to avoid your pointed look. The memory of him, Penny and Wayne groaning on the couch with bulging tummies and promises to never touch a pancake again was a fond one to look back on now that he wasn’t suffering.

  “That was one time. Four times–baby, we all make mistakes.” He tried to reason, a boyish grin on his face. Eddie knew he wouldn't be winning this one and he was fine with that, he just liked to argue with you, loved the banter you threw back at him. His witty wife.

  “You’re absolutely right, and you can mess up all the yolks you want. Except for Wayne’s.” He wouldn’t eat it if his yolk was broken in the cooking process, which was insane because you or Eddie cut his eggs up for him before serving him. It was almost like he had some sort of sixth sense when it came to them, knew when he’d been given an egg that’s yolk had been broken prior to being plated. After thoroughly testing his abilities, you both knew there was no way to fool him.

  Eddie held up the wooden spoon in the hand that wasn’t holding Wayne. 

  “The f–,” quick glances were spared at the toddler on his arm and the little girl seemingly ignoring them on the couch, “-ffffreak am I supposed to do with this then?”

  You placed your scraper down and picked up a nearby spatula, swapping the wooden spoon for it.

  “Go crazy.” You teased, leaning in to give your husband a quick peck and cheek pat before you returned to your task. 

  You could hear Eddie talking to Wayne–or rather, narrating everything he was doing for him–and subconsciously, you offered the wooden spoon to your empty side, blinking a couple of times once you realized what you were doing and why the wooden spoon was out in the first place.

  It was Penny’s favorite thing to use when helping you cook. She wasn’t at your side, at her usual place. 

  You craned your head to get a look at the couch, her curls barely visible from the top as she sunk into it. Maybe she was just outgrowing family cooking time.

  You felt your throat get thick with something, eyes glazing over but you didn’t want to cry over breakfast and guilt her into helping you if she didn’t want to. So, you swallowed your disappointment and went back to stirring the mixture on your own.

  As if she no longer felt your eyes on you, Penny got on her knees and craned her body around to peer over the couch, eyes filled with longing as she watched her family in the kitchen. She wanted nothing more than to join you but she couldn’t because she was mad at you. You all looked so perfect and happy but nothing really was. You kissed Santa.

  You were only supposed to kiss her daddy. And Santa wasn’t her daddy. 

  You betrayed her and her daddy. You did a bad thing so you had to be punished, Penny wasn’t going to play with you, hug you or give you kisses ever again. It was a difficult decision for her to make, but there was no other way!

  She turned back to the tv, its vibrant images ignored in favor of a head full of thoughts much too complicated for a child to understand. This was how it was going to be now, and something in her chest felt very heavy at the realization.

  Penny refused to partake in any activities, locking herself in her room whenever you brought out something to do, be it baking christmas cookies as practice for the ones she and Waynie were supposed to make Santa, or helping with last minute decorations. She sat away from you and Eddie during the Christmas movie marathon, silently stewing in her misery–refusing to even look at you.

  The day they were supposed to go see Santa at the mall, Penny made sure to stuff herself on her leftover Halloween stash of candy so she’d throw up, effectively keeping her family–namely you and her daddy–away from Santa.

  There’s always next year. You’d chirped, helping her change out of her ruined clothes as she pointedly stared through you.

  You’d obviously caught onto her change in demeanor, it was a major concern. Your spunky, outgoing little girl had become an overnight introvert, withdrawn. When you tried to talk to her, she brushed you off or claimed exhaustion, escaping to her room to avoid you. At first, you thought it might be something that happened at school. 

  A quick talk with her teacher after picking her up had confirmed her behavior at school had also taken a nosedive that week. She’d gone from playing with all the other kids during recess to sitting on the swingset alone. Her classroom attitude had dulled, she hadn’t raised her hand, talked to the kids at her table, nothing. The only other child her teacher noticed her interacting with was her friend Isabel. Miss Ripley said it appeared Isabel was comforting Penny. 

  The car ride home after that interaction was spent glancing at Penny through the rearview mirror and nibbling on your lower lip as you worried.

  Was she just sad? Was it something else? Was your baby depressed? It wasn’t a warming thought, still, it was a possibility. You remembered the Charlie Brown Christmas special you’d all watched as a family the night before. The same sullen demeanor Charlie Brown displayed mirrored Penny’s behavior as of late perfectly. She either seemed a million miles away or looked like she wanted to be a million miles away.

  One would think as Christmas neared, she’d be filled with excitement, sharing in the joy with her little brother but no. When Eddie talked to her, she’d perk up a little but anytime you tried to approach her, she shut down. Blunt answers and no excited chatter about the final week of school before Winter break. Nothing. She wouldn’t talk to you and it was really starting to worry you and Eddie.

  In the end, after a long conversation between the two of you, you’d decided if this persisted past Christmas, you’d take Penny to see a child therapist, at least once, to make sure your baby girl was okay.

  You had a feeling, mother’s intuition, that Penny was struggling with something big, even if just to her. You just had no idea how truly troubling the subject was for her.

  Penny had grown more upset with you as time went on, but mostly, she was sad. At first, she was sure she had to tell her daddy about what she saw–but what would happen after? 

  Grown ups were complicated, she knew that much. Her friend Izzie’s parents had gotten divorced and Izzie said that meant she had two Christmases and two houses and two bedrooms along with a new step daddy. Even though Izzie didn’t seem all that upset about it, and raved about her two houses, Penny didn’t want any of that. 

  Penny didn’t want two Christmases. Penny wanted one Christmas. Penny wanted one house, one room, one family and one mommy and daddy. She didn’t want things to change. If she told her daddy, she knew everything would. 

  So, she couldn’t tell him. No way. 

  But she had to fix this. She had to!

  And there was only one other person she could talk to, only one person who could fix it. Even if she was mad at that person, too, even if she had already tried her hardest to avoid having to be in the same room. She’d do anything to keep her family. Penny knew exactly what she had to do.

  That’s how she found herself tucked into her bed, her blankie clutched to her side and fighting sleep on Christmas Eve. 

  You and Eddie had put her to bed hours ago, but she couldn’t sleep risk falling asleep or she’d miss her only chance at keeping her family together.

  As the minutes ticked by, and the low glow of the Christmas lights lining the neighbor’s houses kept the pitch black from shrouding her bedroom, Penny’s eyes grew heavy. Snug like a little bug in her warm blankets, the sandman was calling.

  Eventually, Penny dozed, chest rising and falling with her breathing. She dreamt of bright and colorful lights, chocolate chip cookies, and the comforting embrace of your arms. 

  She was pulled from them when she heard a dull thud. Her big brown eyes flashed open and she shot up with a start. For a moment, she had no idea where she was, nor even a sense of self identity as she wiped the drool from her cheek and smacked her lips together.

  Her mouth opened wide as she yawned, hand reaching up to scratch at her head before falling onto her blanket covered lap. Just as fast as she startled awake, Penny fell back onto her pillows, nuzzling in as she prepared to go back to sleep.

  And then her brain finally kicked into gear, reminding her of her task and she let out a gasp as she threw her blanket off of her, grabbing her blankie and rushing for her bedroom door.

  It was yanked open in haste as her heart hammered in her chest, fearful she’d missed her chance to keep her family whole just because she’d fallen asleep.

  Penny hurried down the hall, her footsteps surprisingly quiet. Before she even breached the doorway, she heard rustling.

  And not just any rustling, it sounded like items were being placed under the tree in the living room. Presents. 

  This was it. This was her only shot.

  Tentatively, she stepped out of the doorway and into the living room, mouth parting as the man in red came into view. Santa Claus.

  For a moment, Penny was starstruck. The man she watched so many movies about, had heard so much about, who knew when she’d been bad or good, was right there. And he just so happened to be the man who kissed her mom. But he could fix it. 

  Without even thinking about it, she padded closer, until he was just a few feet away. Still, she couldn’t force herself to speak, couldn’t squeeze out so much as a peep as he placed another gift under the tree. 

  But she had to ask him.

  Gulping down her fear, she finally spoke.

  “Santa?”

  Penny watched as Santa fell over over with a yelp, a few presents he had stacked near him toppling over him as he quickly squirmed onto his back, pushing himself up on his elbows. 

  She held her blankie to her chest, squeezing it tightly as she grimaced on his behalf. That looked like it hurted but Santa did a bad thing so it was okay.

  They both stared at each other with wide eyes in silence and Penny noticed his beard had a stain on it. Icky.

  “Wha-” Santa held up a fist to his mouth, clearing his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was much more gruff, “Penny, what are you doing still awake?”

  Penny gasped, mouth falling open.

  “You know my name?”

  “Sure, I do. I know the names of all the children in the world. And…grown ups. Yes.”

  Penny’s brows furrowed in thought, “Oh, yeah.” 

  Did he know she throwed up so they could stay home instead of seeing him at the mall?

  Eddie carefully and slowly pushed himself up, adjusting the annoying padded belly belt thing he had to wear in a discreet manner so Penny wouldn’t notice his stomach was almost completely on his side.

  Two years of dressing up as jolly ol’ Kris Kringle to shove the accumulated gits under the tree after Penny had almost caught the two of you putting the gifts under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, and Penny finally caught him in the act. He owed you twenty bucks. But what was she doing approaching him? 

  Eddie had entertained a scenario where she did catch Santa, but he’d been banking on her being sneaky about it, running back to bed to pretend she’d been asleep during Santa’s stop at their place. He’d expected to hear about it for the first time in the morning, while she was bragging about it. He never thought she’d just saunter right up to him–but Eddie was good at staying in character. 

  He didn’t suffer as a theater kid for the first two years of his high school sentence for nothing.

  Once he was sure his costume was secure, he was able to move onto one knee as he regarded her, “You know, it’s far past your bedtime…”

  He watched her eyes flicker to the floor before her big, beautiful eyes were on him again and filled with guilt. 

  “I know. I’m sorry, Santa. But I really needed to talkta you. I know you are a very busy man and you have to go to a kagillion houses, but I promise it’s important and I’m not ‘sposed to swear but I swear ‘cause that’s how important it is. Please?” The guilt in her eyes gave away to a sense of urgency that filled Eddie with alarm and he straightened as she leaned forward, eager to say whatever it is she needed to say. He had a feeling it would explain her behavior.

  “I can make all the time in the world for anything, Penny. It’s a little trick of mine. Go on, ba-dear.” Dear sounded like a term of endearment a guy old enough to become a legendary figure for consumerism and myth would use, right? Yeah.

  This was it. Penny got her chance and even though she was shaking in her fluffy socks, she persevered.

  “I know it’s about to be Christmas, but-but I was wondering Santa, uhm–I was wondering if it would be okay that I could get something else for Christmas this year. In-Instead of my presents. I don’t want any toys this year, you can give them to the other kids. I just only want one thing instead.”

  Eddie’s whole body stiffened, panicking at the idea of Penny freaking approaching Santa Claus to make a special request–and c’mon was he supposed to say no to her while dressed as Santa Claus–that she’d be disappointed to not see under the christmas tree because there was no way Eddie would be able to run out and get it, if he could even afford it.

  “What is it you want?” Eddie was so tense he was clenching his asshole.

  “I was wondering if….if my mommy and my daddy could stay together.”

  Eddie was absolutely bewildered, soul damn near leaving his body before crashing back down into place. “I–I beg your par–hmn?”

  Then, his little girl raised her chin, filling herself with bravado as she held his gaze, “I saw you kissing my mommy.”

  Shoot him. Get a shovel, beat him with it, because it was all starting to make sense. 

  His eyes slipped shut as he chided himself, the fear he’d had regarding the unknown disappeared, replaced with an intense relief as he mentally beat the crap out of himself. Penny was withdrawn because she’d witnessed him kissing you, while disguised as another man, and it was tearing her apart.

  Eddie couldn’t begin to imagine her emotional anguish all because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself and he couldn’t keep his tongue in his mouth.

  He felt like shit. Eddie had to fix this.

  “Kissing me—? Oh, Penny. You’ve got it all wrong. The only person your mother kisses is your father.”

  The pinch between Penny’s brows returned, “But…It looked like you.”

  “What? This?” Eddie glanced down at the red suit, pulling at the red jacket. “You don’t think I go down all those chimneys without getting filthy, do you? No, I get plenty dirty and your dad–a great deal of dad’s around the world, actually–had a new suit waiting for me. It’s usually every block or so that I’m replacing my suit. Yes, your dad must have been trying it on, making sure it would be perfect for me. I appreciate when they do that, otherwise, certain things might be riding up with each chimney I have to go down.”

  Eddie watched as Penny’s features began to soften, her puzzled expression wavering before she giggled, imagining Santa getting a wedgie.  

  That didn’t explain…“How come he was wearing a wig like your hair?”

  The two stared at each other in a brief silence again.

  “Now, that, I can’t explain. I don’t know! He’s your dad, you should know why he’s so weird. You tell me.”

  “He is weird.” Penny agreed, shoulders sagging as the weight of what she’d seen was lifted from her, because she hadn’t seen her mommy kissing Santa Claus. Penny saw her mommy kissing her daddy while he was making sure Santa’s clothes would be good enough!

  “An odd creature, indeed.” Eddie agreed, happy to see his little girl was starting to come back to life, so to speak. “But he’s an odd, weird creature who loves you, your brother and your mother very, very much.”

  All Eddie wanted to do was reassure her of his love but the corner of Penny’s lips turned down and her gaze turned watery, brown eyes shiny with distress as her head bobbed in agreement.

  “Penny…” He mumbled, reaching to grasp her small dainty hand in his his gloved one as she whimpered and a hot tear ran down her cheek. Saying her name only seemed to make her more emotional, tears leaking from both her eyes as her lip trembled.

  “It–It–hurted my feelings ‘cause, cause my mommy loves my daddy so much. She always says so, so it hurted that I thought she kissed someone else because–because–because she looks at my-my daddy with hearts in her eyes like in the car–cartoons.” Penny stuttered out, breath hitching as she cried and Eddie’s heart clenched.

  He knew she was upset, obviously but he hadn't realized she was this upset about it. Working herself up in her head. His little girl was willing to give up presents, material things, to ask if he and you would stay together instead. That’s a huge fucking deal for a kid.

  Eddie had never had a big opinion on his parent’s relationship. He’d been a little younger than Penny when his mom died and the only thing he knew for sure now, was that she deserved better than his dad. With the few memories he had of her, and from what Wayne told him she was like, he wasn’t sure why she even stayed with that deadbeat. Eddie certainly didn’t have a moment where he was willing to barter off toys he wasn’t going to get in favor of his parents staying together. If anything, maybe little Eddie would have asked for his mom to grab their stuff, and him, and leave his dad behind.

  Penny had a better family life, you and Eddie made sure of that, and she was apparently willing to do anything to keep it when she thought she was about to lose it.

  Eddie had to blink back the wetness at his own waterline as Penny continued.

  “But–But it hurted my feelings to be mad and mean to my mommy more ‘cause I love her so much and she’s a good mommy! She cuddles me whenever I want and takes care of me when I’m sick and takes me a bath and makes me warm food and–and–and she plays with me and uses funny voices and kisses my–my owies and she says she loves me and she didn’t do nothing wrong!” Penny was full on sobbing now, dropping her blanket so she could free up her fist to rub at one of her wet eyes.

  Eddie didn’t hesitate, he tugged her forward and she went willingly, throwing both arms around him as she cried into the fluff lining his jacket. Eddie held her to him tightly, his own eyes squeezing shut. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. 

  So, this whole time Penny had been intentional with her behavior, purposely being cold to you because she thought you had kissed Santa Claus. But being upset with you, and treating you as she’d been, had also hurt her feelings because of how much she loved you. 

  Penny got mad at Eddie a lot, he liked to tease her a lot, and the emotion was never really directed at you. Even if you were punishing her with a deserved time out, she was more hurt than mad at you. And regardless of the punishment she’d run right back to you after stewing in her emotions, to make sure you still loved her even if she had been a little bad. You reassured her every time that there wasn’t a single thing she could do to get you to stop loving her. Eddie was sure Penny just liked to hear you say it. 

  What a mess. Next year, he’d force Uncle Wayne to be Santa. Just so he could be sure this wouldn’t happen again. 

  Eddie held Penny until her sobbing died down. When she started hiccuping, he pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, gloved thumbs catching the remaining tears and ridding her cheeks of them. Her big, sorrowful eyes were framed with long wet lashes. Reminded Eddie of a wounded puppy.

  “Penelope, your mom loves you. Just as much as you love her and probably more.” If your I love you times infinities during an ‘I love you’ exchange with the kids (and Eddie) were proof, “What you thought you saw hurt your feelings, but your mom wouldn’t hold anything against you, especially if you were upset. All she wants is for you to be happy and feel loved. That’s what she asks for every year for Christmas.”

  “Really?”

  Eddie hummed in confirmation, caressing her cheek one last time.

  “I miss her.” Penny admitted, wiping her eyes again as Eddie picked up her blankie and offered it to her.

  “It’s a good thing you’ll be seeing her in the morning, isn’t it?”

  Penny nodded and Eddie finally stood up, hands at the base of his back as he stretched and it popped.

  “Let’s get you back into bed.” He held a hand down to her and she was about to slip her hand into his when she remembered something. She hurried over to the couch, dropping onto all fours to retrieve something from under it.

  Eddie’s eyes widened when she pulled the fireplace poker out. Penny put it back into its holder by the fireplace they rarely used and returned to his side, immediately slipping her hand into his hold while he continued to stare at the poker, dumbstruck.

  “Penny…uhm, what–what was that?”

  “It’s a poky for logs, so daddy doesn’t burn his hands ‘cause he does whenever we use the fireplace.”

  Okay, well, that wasn’t his fault. He had more control when he used his hands, the poker (stoker, whatever) just pushed one log further in but didn’t prevent the others from being nudged out.

  “What, perchance, was it doing under the couch?”

  Penny looked guilty, the tip of her sock covered toes stroking along the floor as she avoided meeting his eyes. 

  “...I was gonna kill you if you said no.”

  “O-oh.”

  Eddie felt a mixture of emotions at that revelation. He was greatly amused that she’d simply decided if the man in red who she thought ruined her family wasn’t going to fix it, she’d just get rid of him. He was also a little scared for his own life, and shocked that he might have been subjected to her beating him with it, had he said no or refused to talk to her in the first place.

  “Okay...” Was all he could say before he led her down the hallway, still a little stunned. 

  Penny was exhausted.

  When she climbed into bed, Santa tucked the big blanket in around her exactly how she liked and made sure to flare the bottom out so her feet didn’t feel trapped. He really did know everything.

  “Goodnight, Penny.” He whispered, a hand stroking over the top of her head, mussing the curls there. For a moment, Penny thought he was gonna give her head a kiss ‘cause he leaned in then stopped. Penny was glad, that would be weird.

  “Goodnight, Santa.”

  And because Eddie couldn’t say it as himself, “And remember, your mom and dad love you.”

  She beamed at him as he began to close the door, and when it was shut, Penny snuggled into her blankets and pillows, eyes fluttering shut. 

  She’d done it. Penny had planned to save her family, only to find out her family never needed saving. She was never going to lose it. Her mommy loved her, Waynie and her daddy and not Santa.  

  Penny was really glad she didn’t kill him. 

  She let out one big yawn, and promptly fell asleep.

  —

  After all the presents were under the tree, and he’d gorged himself a little on the cookies you and Wayne had made, Eddie made a big stink out of ‘leaving’ the house up the chimney (used the fireplace poker Penny had planned to take him out with to make a little bit of a racket), then he took off the heavy boots and quietly tiptoed to the master bedroom. 

  He sagged against the door once he made it. Jesus Christ.

  What a night.

  Eddie made quick work of getting out of the suit, stashing the costume in the back of the closet. 

  He didn’t bother throwing anything on, in fact, he slipped out of his boxers, too.

  He watched you for a few moments, sleeping on your side, with your elbow propped on a pillow and your chin in your palm. You’d tried to wait for him.

  Eddie’s lips twitched into a smile as he climbed into your side of the bed, slipping in behind you. He wasted no time, body pressing up against yours as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, lips trailing wet kisses from your pulse point, down to where your neck met your shoulder.

  You stirred, letting out little groans as you tilted your head to the side. Always so pliant for Eddie, even when you were trying to break free of sleep’s hold.

  “Eddie?” You slurred out. He hummed against your skin, tongue darting out for a taste.

  That particular spot had your toes curling, but as your mind escaped the sleepy haze, you recalled what his mission for the night was.

  “How’d it go?” You asked, shifting around until you were facing him. Once you were re-settled, he pulled you flush to him. If you weren’t awake before, the feeling of him semi-hard, pressed against the space between your pelvis and lower stomach certainly did the job. You hadn’t realized he wasn’t wearing anything on his lower half.

  Eddie momentarily debated on giving you the rundown of tonight’s emotional events but decided against it. If you knew, you’d just beat yourself up. You never gave yourself the grace you deserved. Besides, he was positive Penny would be back to her happy, mischievous self in the morning. And after hearing her talk about how much you loved him—well, Eddie just wanted you.

  “It was fine, same as it goes every year—but I’m thinking, with Santa being old and shit, maybe Wayne can fill in next year.”

  He didn’t give you time to respond, ducking down to kiss you. Eddie worked your mouth open, letting your tongues dance for a while before his kisses trailed down again. When his lips met the straps of your tank top, he tugged impatiently on it.

  “Baby, I don’t think you're catching on here. I’m naked, kissing you, all hot and bothered and for some reason, you still have your clothes on.”

  You smirked up at him, your stare sultry through your lashes. “Well, considering I’m someone’s present, I’m waiting to be unwrapped.”

  Eddie’s face scrunched up in confusion before you wiggled your eyebrows. When he pulled the thick strap of your tank top down your shoulder, it revealed a slim red satin strap beneath it. Lingerie.

  “Oh, you’re most definitely on the naughty list this year.” He growled and you squealed as his hands slipped beneath the top, smoothing over the satin as he lifted the cotton away.

  It was quickly discarded on the floor, along with the sweats you’d been wearing.

  ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, two creatures were stirring and one even yelped.

  ─

  Despite her late bedtime, Penny was awake the moment the sun was up. 

  Eager to see if everything was as Santa said it was, and to see you, Penny hopped out of bed and ran out of her room to wake Waynie up. Then after they brushed their teeth, they’d both jumped onto your bed to wake you (and the two of you were thankfully clothed, Eddie had to dress you himself after he was done with you in the hours of the early morning, you were too exhausted to even sit up on your own).

  You and Eddie moved too slow for their liking, so they’d already developed a Christmas routine. By the time the two of you were fully awake and joined them in the living room, they were digging around the tree. 

  Penny put the present she’d been assessing down the moment you seated yourself on the couch with Eddie to watch them open up a few gifts. 

  It surprised you when she ran over and threw herself at you, arms wrapping around your neck almost tight enough to choke you but you didn’t care. Your arms wrapped around her little frame, too, confused at the 180 degree change in her behavior again, and more than happy to return her affection.

  Penny’s eyes were blissfully shut as she tried to convey all the love for you she had in her little body, into the hug.

  “I love you, mommy. You’re the best mommy in the whole wide world and I’m glad you’re mine.”

  “I love you, too, baby. Always.” You promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead as a hand tried to smooth her wild mane down, though you knew your attempts were futile. Until she would let you do her hair, she’d just have to open her presents looking like she’d been electrocuted. Nothing but some water, a comb and hair products could tame it. 

  Satisfied, Penny released you from her iron hold to join her little brother on the floor.

  You turned to look at Eddie, already finding his eyes were on you and he had a big, pleased, shit eating grin on his face. 

  He quickly leaned in, pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose and pinched your cheek before addressing his spawn.

  “Alright, you two know the rules. Three presents now, the rest you gotta save to open when Grandpa Wayne and Grandma Maude come over.”

  “‘Kay.” Waynie mumbled, more fascinated with the wrapping paper of the big box in front of him than its contents. It had little Santa’s all over it, and he was trying to count them in his head even though he was still learning his numbers and started making them up past the number five.

  A lot of Santas.

  Wayne made the same scrunched up face his dad made whenever he was perplexed.

  “Santa….” He mumbled, before looking over at you and Eddie.

  “Mama kissid Santa?”

  All three of you gasped.

"Waynie!"

"WHAT?!"

"Here we go again..."