#but I actually think he’s protecting his dad

[feitanii-ll]

“ GUMI’S HOME!! “.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 …

✮ pairing: gojo satoru x reader (romantically). and megumi fushiguro x reader (platonically)

✮ synopsis: in which,, megumi comes to the realization over the years that he in fact does have a family. Or, raising megumi w satoru.

✮ contains: heavyyy flufff, long-term relationship w gojo, young megumi growing up :(, reader and gojo are the same age and get marrieddd. NOT LORE ACCURATE (kinda). ONLY SLIGHT SEASON TWO SPOILERS. crack-fix type dialogue. Megumi and Satoru scuffle. Not a lot of reader until the end. Uhhh, slight cursing. Centered around megumi’s POV!!

September, 2007

Upon first meeting Satoru Gojo, Megumi could confirm (with much confidence) that the man was truly an odd ball.

Like a snake, he slithered his way in with that cocky attitude. A stupid, smug grin and a bravado that made the little boy cringe. Crouching down before him to try and get on his level. Just who the hell did he think he was?

“You’re… fushiguro’s kid, yes? Man, you look just like him. It’s almost uncanny.” the silver haired male gets too close for comfort, thoroughly observing the boy as he mentally points out the similarities between him and his father. “It’s a shame you zen’ins are a bunch of deadbeats—“

“Do you, like, need something–?“ megumi butts in, voice sounding irritated in a way that says he ready to ditch this conversation completely, but curious as to what the hell he could possibly want from him. And just what the hell did “his” clan have to do with him? As if they even knew he existed.

“Well, yeah, actually. Fushiguro is—“

“—something Important.” He emphasizes just before he could finish his sentence.

“Just, about your dad— we aren’t on the best of terms. I ki—“

“Don’t care,” the ravenette huffs, and the sorcerer is surprised at just how much emotion is in such a tiny body. Or, lack there of.

“You.. don’t care?” The male pouts, hands dropping to his sides.

“Haven’t seen him in years. Nor do I remember his face, or what the hell he has going on. Why would I?”

Satoru’s lips purse, and his eyebrows raise in shocked amusement.

“Really. I’ll admit, I’m a little baffled,” he cackles in a way that has the boy frowning in disgust. “You’re stronger than I thought, then. Both physically, and mentally. I’m sure you see that within yourself, too, don’t you, Megumi?”

Megumi stares blankly, and the older boy takes it as a silent agreement.

“Well then! I guess I don’t have anything to say, after all.” With a slap to his knees, satoru stands up from his crouched position, his height shading the smaller boy from the sun. Megumi can now truly see him— the silvery stands of hair, pale skin, and though protected by the expensive branded sunglasses adorning his face, the uncanny, borderline disturbing radiant color of his eyes.

A blue too vibrant to look away from. It was far from comforting, really.

“I’ll be seeing you around, Megumi!” Satoru laughs, and because he has no damn sense of decorum, ruffles megumi’s hair, much to his dismay. “You stay outta trouble, ya hear?” He beams, a huge contrast to the disturbing news he was just about to break to the kid.

“Uh huh,” he hums, watching as he steps off. When out of sight, he scoffs.

“What a dummy..”

He doesn’t leave the area until the voice of his sister beckoning him over rings out through the alley from atop of the balcony. He takes a good look at where the sorcerer just was before slowly feuding his way back home, backpack straps clenched within his tiny fists.

──────

For a boy his age, Megumi is, for the most part, an emotionally intelligent, levelheaded kid. Other than a short temper, he’s always been good at simply ignoring the things that tick him off for the sake of his sanity.

But this? A grown man screaming out in the middle of a crowded street in front of a billion strangers? A very noticeably grown man, and a very obvious frightened looking child as the lanky weirdo sprints towards him, ignoring the cries and disgruntled curses of disagreement from the innocent people in which he shoves.

“Megumiiiii! Megumiii—!”

“Oh, no… no no no no no,” Megumi’s eyes widen, shaking his head to himself while simultaneously backing away slowly.

The calls of his name grow closer, and just as he turns on his heel to book it out of there, he’s tugged by the book-bag by an unnecessarily strong grip, and pulled backwards.

“Megumi, there ya are!”

A yelp escapes the boy as he’s lifted into the air, kicking his feet as he’s held like nothing, hanging by the armpits of his bag.

“Don’t ya know it’s dangerous to be walking home on your own like this? You could get kidnapped. Or worse, what if you get squished by car!?” Satoru gasps dramatically, arm extended out in front of him as he angles his hand so that the boy is facing him.

“Nothing—“ Megumi grunts, small feet kicking at the man’s torso to no avail, “is worse than this!”

“You make me sound like a monster.” Satoru whines in faux sadness.

“You might as well be!” By this time, the other patrons seem to dismiss the little scuffle as just a boy throwing a tantrum. For the most part, they aren’t wrong.

“Come on, I just wanted to check in on ya!”

“I’ll scream.” The boy deadpans, tiny fists shaking my his sides.

Satoru, pauses, the cocky smile on his face dropping slightly as a small bead of nervous sweat trickles down his temple.

“You won’t—“

“HELP! I DONT KNOW THIS MA— umpfff”

Satorus eyes widen as he clamps a large, sweaty hand over megumi’s mouth.

“Shhhhh shhh, alright, damn, kid!” He sets the boy back down on the floor, but still keeps his mouth clamped as he crouches down to his level. After touching down, Megumi goes quiet, but his silent rage is loud and clear as he glares and crosses his arms.

“Listen, I’ll make it up to ya with a an ice cream cone, huh? How ‘bout that? Actually, whatever dessert ya want, it’s yours! How’s that sound??” He questions desperately. After a beat, the boy nods, making the older man sigh in relief.

“Alright… now I’m gonna let ya go— fuck!”

With a gasp, Satoru pulls his hand back and clutches it to his chest. He glances down at his hand to see a curved row of lines engraved between his index and thumb, and he looks back up to see Megumi, spitting onto the pavement dramatically and wiping at his mouth as if he’d just consumed the worst thing imaginable.

After looking between him and the kid for a little bit out of pure disbelief, Satoru scoffs, “You little shit, you bit me!”

“You kidnapped me!” Megumi rebuttals, whipping around as he wipes his mouth on his sleeve.

“I was having a conversation with you,” the sorcerer stands to his full height, cradling his hand as he rubs the stinging spot with pouty lips and furrowed eyebrows. “You’re just like your father!”

“Shut up, crazy! I wanna go where you wanna take me so that we can get this over with. I need to get back home. I’ve got homework—“

“After you bit me? Hell no—!”

“I’ll tell the cops!” Megumi points and accusatory finger, and Satoru is genuinely shocked at just how… difficult he was.

“Fine! C’mon..” he mumbles, now sulking as he basically lets the boy lead him to whatever dessert shop he desired.

For the first time, Satoru felt… defeated. Beat by a child, no less.

──────

That same day, Satoru finds out that megumi’s favorite dessert is mochi ice cream. At least, it’s what he can assume after being demanded to order 10 pieces, all various flavors, before eating them before the frost can even melt.

The duo sit in a red-leathered booth within a quiet dessert shop. The golden rays of sun spill through the large window pane, painting the walls and floors of the shop a rich shade of orange. The sunset meaning that he’d soon have to be taking Megumi home. Within this time, the two take the time to learn about one another. Satoru is surprised when Megumi actually seems interested and asks questions! Albeit, very rudely.

“So, are you like… homeless?”

“Nope!” Satoru purses his lips,

“Then why are you always around on the street?”

“Maybe I just like going outside?” His silver brows dip down in annoyance.

“Don’t you have friends?”

“Yes.”

“That didn’t sound convincing.”

“I do!” He shouts, to which the boy stares blankly.

“… I do” Satoru persists

“I don’t know why you’re still trying to convince me.” Megumi shrugs.

“Because—!”

The light bickering continues to flow through the area, though to Megumi, it’s honestly the most amusement he’s had in what seemed like a while. Long over due.

“There’s my best friends Suguru, and Shoko— I’m like, super cool with all my teachers,” The man lists off with his fingers, looking away in thought.

“And most of all, my amazing, beautiful girlfriend!”

“Oh—“ a shaky chuckle rings out between them. Escaping megumi’s lips.

Satoru whips his head towards the boy, not knowing whether to be shocked or offended at the blatant laugh at his statement. On one hand, he’s happy he finally got to break that tough exterior of the little man. On the other, he doesn’t believe he’s got a partner. Doesn’t believe he’s got you.

“Something funny?” Satoru grins, crossing his arms and leaning back against the seat.

“There’s no way you have a girlfriend,” Megumi mumbles, shoving the last piece of mochi into his chubby cheeks. “Who the hell would date you?”

“Her, thank you very much!” He sits up, pouting. “And I sure do have a girlfriend. Soon to be wife, actually!”

“How muush ju pay ‘er?” The boy mumbles with a full mouth, still not believing a word he says.

“Nothing!” He gasps, offended. “I’ll have you know, her and I are very much in love. I’m sure you’ll meet her one day.” He huffs, confident.

Megumi shrugs, swallowing and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. A bad habit, Satoru notices.

“Whatever. Can we leave, now?”

“Sure,” Satoru goes to move, but pauses. “Aht aht, wait. Before I forgettt,” he rummages through his pockets before slipping out a pen and swiping a napkin from the holder before scribbling something down.

“Boom! That’s my number, and home address. In case of emergency.” He slides the napkin across the table. And though Megumi silently judges the sloppy writing, he simply sighs and pockets it.

“Sure, thanks.” He mumbles, and the two slip out the the booth, Satoru ruffling his hair just as they walk out the shop.

Satoru was.. weird. But he wasn’t bad. Megumi glanced up to Satoru, who looks as if he doesn’t have a care in the world as he he walks the boy home. Lost in his own stupid world. What was the end goal here? To be a babysitter? An older brother?

‘And the stupid address. Like I’d ever need that stupid thing.’ He thinks to himself

──────

2 days after

Right now, Megumi hates that the world is seemingly out to test his already thin patience. Of all of the beautifully sunny days this week, this had to be the one day in which it’s pouring raining.

And the weather wouldn’t usually bother the boy, if when he had gotten home, he had actually felt his home key in his pockets. He pats his shorts frantically, eyes widening when he can’t seem to locate them. His frustration grows as the weather grows heavier, rain pouring just slightly harder.

“Don’t tell me…” he groan to himself, simultaneously pounding in the front door with one hand as the other searches for his keys.

“Tsumiki!” He shouts, but to no avail. “Hell… I forgot she’s out the house.”

Feeling hopeless, Megumi slips his hands into his pocket and kicks at a rock, groaning. Only then does he feel… something, in his pocket. He furrows his brow, pulling out the item and pausing.

The napkin.

──────

Everything in megumi’s being is dreading knocking on this damn door. A fairly large, but simple house with a wooden patio. It’s kind of.. out of the way, which he finds surprising, knowing how dramatic the male is.

He sighs, double- checking the napkin again before sighing. He wipes his wet face, now sheltered from the pouring rain as he stand in the patio. With a hesitant hand, he knocks three times.

He almost thinks he didn’t knock loud enough as there wasn’t any sign of movement for a while, until he sees the light just to the side of him turn on through the window. Then, the soft padding of footsteps. A pause. And then suddenly, the door creaks open.

And before he can be displeased by the face of Satoru Gojo, his annoyance disappears when the sight of a woman appears instead. Confused, shocked, and curious as to what he’s probably doing here.

“Oh… sorry. Must have the wrong house.”

The lady stares at him with pinched brows, as if trying to put pieces together as to who he was. He pushes his lips into a thin line and begins to turn on his foot before the voice cuts him off.

“Are.. are you Megumi?” The woman asks, as the boy turns, surprised. How..?

“Uhm, yeah—“

To his shock, the lady straightens up, in an odd excitement. “Oh my goodness! Megumi! Come come, it’s pouring out here! What are you doing out here in this weather? Honey—!”

He watches as you turn your head over your shoulder and call out for… for your husband? Boyfriend? Wife? He didn’t know.. his brain was trying to piece together where all this excitement was coming from from this stranger. And… if this was Gojo’s home, then—

As if on cue, there’s a heavier thumping from behind the woman. He watches as she smiles, but Megumi’s expression is the exact opposite as the face of that… monster, pops up over the woman’s shoulder.

Immediately, Satorus face is etched with excitement, and he smiles.

“Megumi!? Whatcha doing here, kid? Come inside!” He chuckles, and as if he’s in auto pilot, tiny feet shuffle their way through the door. He can’t even take in the beautifully places decor. The house plants, the smell of fresh clothes and lemon. The in-taste furniture— no way this was his home.

“You.. you live here..?”

He glances between Satoru and the woman, and drops his mouth in shock when he approaches her, wrapping his arms around her middle and pressing a kind kiss to her cheek, to which he smile. Grins, actually.

“We, live here, actually.”

Megumi doesn’t like that tone…

“Is this..?”

“Megumi, this is y/n. My girlfriend of three years.”

You laugh at the shock on the kids face, shaking your head. “Hopefully he hasn’t been giving you any trouble, Megumi. I only knew you from how much he talks about you, it’s good to finally meet you. Will you be staying?”

For the first time, Megumi felt defeated. And as he looks at Satoru a stupid, smug face— he begrudging responds to your kind offer.

“Yes… please, if you don’t mind.”

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 06/01✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Do the little monkeys on Flower Fruit mountain ever see at Wukong and Macaque bickering like an old married couple and think to themselves 'just kiss already'?

Yes. They keep doing and Wukong tries to stop them otherwise Macaque could hear them (he already does)

Anonimo ha chiesto: Been reading up on Macaque Body Language and found this: "A peculiar behaviour displayed by macaques is lip smacking. Between macaques, lip smacking is used to show submission, affection and reconciliation. This behaviour is a form of communication and is sometimes accompanied with cooing vocalisations and mild raising of eyebrows." So now I can't stop imaging Monkey King and Macaque just smacking lips and raising eyebrows to each other instead of saying "I love you" or after a fight just smacking lips and then hugging. But then I also started questioning, do the two monkeys in your AU actually use monkey body language to communicate? Or is it just human language they use? Great work on your AU btw! Loving the art and story ^^

Mm some? Like a little but not too much. But that’s an adorable trivia!!

Does macaque know about Wukong's stage fright?👀

Yes.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Baby MK lives in my head rent free. If Wukong or Macaque were trappen in the calabash than their perfect world would be one where they could raise mk without him having to fight or get hurt and traumatized

I THINK the fanfiction series Squashed Apricots is just about this if it can interest you.

@abbytheslothwitch ha chiesto: In your AU or your general opinion, which monkey dad is the taller one; Wukong or Macaque?

Macaque

Anonimo ha chiesto: The way you draw Pigsy honestly is one of the best I've seen I mean just look at him!!! He doesn't have the proportions of a regular human because he's not human and it works so well! I dunno he just looks cool in your artstyle and design That all I had to say :]]]]

Thank you so much!!!♥️♥️♥️ He’s honestly quite hard to draw exactly bc of that, but it’s good practice! Him and DBK are generally harder, I’m not super used to draw animals.

@peach-fury ha chiesto: Ello! Sorry, it's me again But just had a thought, sense Macaque has died and went to Dìyù or the underworld. (I think that's were the book of death is) Wouldn't he be at least scared or nervous to go back? Idk like bad memories like their fight or the lady bone demon or something? Idk maybe overthinking or that I just like angsty :P (P.s I fricking love your art and your AU's so much!!!!)

Yes. I believe he wouldn’t like the idea. I like to think he��s actually terrified. But he wouldn’t care less if it means to protect and help his baby.

Anonimo ha chiesto: will MK try to try change his name into nobody or something form of loophole name so that can be like ohhhh nobody us in trouble! Everyone is safeeee! And nezha’s dad is like wait no

Ahah that’s a good idea! Unfortunately that isn’t the plan

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hear me out we know Wukong made the bed because he made it bigger. It's made out of peach tree wood. And carved moon and suns and stars on the headboard.

AWWWW!!😭😭😭😭😭

@a1teruniverse ha chiesto: What's the hardest panel you've drawn

It is a panel if it’s an animation?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will u ever do flash backs for shadowpeach thats “happy” like them first meeting realizing there in love a jealous mac courtnapping the monkey king just being young and in love.

Mmm yeah i wanna do smth like that. Don’t know when or how but i wanna.

Anonimo ha chiesto: does Wukong ever/will ever let glamours down and let like everything hang out like Mac would come in and his husband just causally has his boobs out and he’s like sweet my husband got hotter bc he’s pan(?) like I think you said that in an earlier post

I mean. I don’t think he has any issues dropping his glamours in front of macaque. I don’t think he would stay too much without his glamours bc still, I guess he would have some slight dysphoria. Also I mean, yeah Macaque loves him with or without boobies. But if Wukong could choose he would prefer not to have them out if he can.

Anonimo ha chiesto: which bottle is every ship in your lmk comic chugging? (I’m talking about your red bubble stickers for ao3 tags I would find it but I’m lazyyyh)

Shadowpeach is hurt & comfort (which I saw now I didn’t uploaded but yeah I got that one as well.), slowburn, enemies to lovers, and angst cause- duh.

Spicynoodle I would say is fluff, oneshot, enemies to lovers, found family.

Anonimo ha chiesto: im so embarrassed to ask about this but, later when mk and red boy r dating, who would ask the other first on a date? What would the date be? Also what does dbk and pif personal opinion of their relationship? SORRY IF THIS HAS BEEN ASKED BEFORE😭

I think MK, because dates are something a little more human, and cause Red Son is a workaholic. It can either be something like a training session, a videogame session at Red castle, or just also the traffic light trio being competitive. DBK and PIF are supporting, mostly bc they know their family will be even more powerful with an union such as theirs. Of course PIF is supporting also cause MK is Mac baby.

@kandymaneuwu ha chiesto: On a scale of 1 to 10 how fluffy is macaque this is very important

10 with merits

@5hadowm0ch1 ha chiesto: When will Shadowpeach kiss? It's always head-to-head Pats (I'm trying to predict what happening)

b-b-b-b-b- but head-to-head pats are cute…

@majesticgazell ha chiesto: Ooohhh I’m just imagining Li Jing catching wind of the plan and activating MK’s fillet while he’s in the shadows… maybe he wouldn’t lose himself under normal circumstances, but with that thing tightening around his head? 👀 Just a thought

Hehe, isn’t that a possibility?

@nataszaluiz ha chiesto: So I have a few questions. First: do you plan on ending it before Season 6 releases or do you plan on continuing it and mixing it up with your AU? Second: have you heard theories that a fragment of Azure's Soul is placed in the blue flower that appears after it's sacrifice? Third: Will characters like Yellowtusk and Peng appear in your AU?

S6 seems to either happen next year or never, so I ve3ry much hope i finish my story sooner.

no i haven’t

mmmm i don’t know

@cheddarcheesebiscuit1 ha chiesto: I gotta ask, if MK would to ever get injured in his monkie form, then would Macaque/Wukong try to take him to a human doctor or a vet?

I know we all want to see Macaque and Wukong freaking out when their baby is sick, but I think we forget sometimes that, even though they aren’t medics, Wukong has a basic understanding how to heal wounds and medicine. Macaque is head-canoned many times to be an expert in fact. And I think there are demons/demonic doctors in case MK has some kind of curse or demonic sickness, which would be what actually makes them worry in the first place.

@ainnur ha chiesto: Mei and Wukong team up?! Wasabi Duo the party crasher🎉✨ Love them💕 They need more love as a duo

Their name IS WASABI DUO????????? AAAWWWWWW

@sleeo-goos10 ha chiesto: Hi kyri! Thank you for sparking my LMK hyper fixation and I’m really curious: Will we get more Nezha? How will he react knowing that the Buddha approved this? IF the Buddha approved it at all 👀

Yes you will have plenty of Nezha. Also if youo guys really want to know, yeah, the Buddha themself approved of this. No, Li Jing wasn’t lying.

@saphstories ha chiesto: KYRI PLEASE IF I ASK FOR NOTHING ELSE I NEED TO SEE HELICOPTER AUNT PIF AND UNCLE DBK IN THAT FIGHT BECAUSE *HEAVEN DID WHAT TO THEIR NEPHEW???* And I'm sorry but of freaking course Red Son being the brat he is would call Mommy and Daddy to tattle about how mean Heaven is for stealing his Monkey before he could. 😂😂 Can you tell how insane the extended Monkey Fam makes me? 😂😂😂 I love this AU, I can't wait to see more!

When they heard the news they wanted to come to help attack the palace as well, but Red Son stopped them saying smt like “HE IS MY FUTURE HOUSBAND AND I GET TO KIDNAP HIM OUT OF HEAVEN MOM!”

@anxiousbb-witch ha chiesto: Do I have a reason to fear the possibilities of the golden headband being used on MK and all the emotions and tears coming from it?

oh year, absolutely.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I just have the funny thought that MK woke up one morning in his true form and get jumpscared by looking at himself and see he has boobs again

nooouuuu poor baby! But yeah it’s a funny image

@monkieshad0w ha chiesto: HELLOO HELLOO! What’s ur opinion on sundial duo :D (if you don’t know what sundial duo is, it’s basically Macaque and Wukong being duos and besties but not lovers) :3

oohhh well I do live any pf my ships as besties as well! Platonic love is just as important as romantic one for me personally!

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Jan 6th

~*~

1. So in the book, xue yang is younger than wei wuxian, like he and Xiao xingchen were supposed to be closer to wwx's son/nephew's age. So, itmf stories where xue yang is actually wwx's son (they do share physical similarities) adopted or bio. Or at least related to each other in some way. Imagine - xue yang is wwx's long lost son or cousin or something. Or things similar to "the kids are OK (I think)" by gosamerglimmer on ao3, where xy wwx & mxy are all cousins descended from lost xue sect

Coincidentally… (Or, if you ask Xue Yang, purposefully with the intent of slander and defamation!) by pipip (G, 2k, WWX & XY, YLLZ WWX, Wangxian is only implied, XY is a Brat, Gremlin XY, MXY Deserves Better, MXY Deserves Happiness, XY Deserves Better, XY is a Little Shit, XY is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Loves WWX)

🔒Til Death Do Us Part by Thyone14 (Not Rated, 73k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, WWX Needs a Hug, Protective LWJ, Soft WangXian, POV LWJ, POV Alternating, No Smut, POV WWX)

~*~

2. ITMF JGY or the cultivation world finding out that the Yilling Patriarch's weakness is LWJ and they're not above using him to take down WWX. It could be LXC pretending to be LWJ to lure WWX out like in 'bloom unto the ground' by tattletold or anything, I'm just looking for fics where everyone is aware of LWJ being WWX's weakness and uses it to their advantage

~*~

3. heyo, Are there Any fics where the Juniors witness Wangxian sweetness? Like that's it. They're just witnessing their beautiful relationship but also angsty moments? Please let me know, please and thank you and have a nice new years 😁 @yasssbassss

Dear Hanguang-Jun by cavaleira (M, 8k, WangXian, ZhuiLing, Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, Post-Canon)

🔒 The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (T, 19k, WangXian, In-Universe RPF, Romance Novel, LJY’s sense of justice, OYZZ’s sense of romance, Featuring a surprise appearance by WWX’s oft-absent sense of shame, Look the ducklings just want their sort-of dads to be happy okay?, And it’s not like WWX or LWJ are doing a good job of ensuring their own happiness, LJY rejects canon reality and substitutes his own, highly relatable actually, Post-Canon Fix-It, primarily drama-canon with cameos from novel-canon, The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea))

can anybody find me (somebody to love) by stiltonbasket (G, 2k, WangXian, Slice of Life, Post-Canon, Married WangXian, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Domestic Fluff, Introspection, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Happy Ending)

Over and out by baxia (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Junior Quartet-centric, Junior Ensemble-centric, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Teacher WWX, Teacher LWJ, Married WangXian, Established Relationship, POV LJY, Future zhuiyi)

~*~

4. ITMF request please—any Wangxian horse stories? Like they meet at a riding club or WWX gets to have a favorite horse or their swords are horses? I read the one where he helped save CR bc of LWJ’s request and now I just want more of him with horses. 🐴 tysm!!

Légèreté by perkynurples (T, 65k, WangXian, Modern au, Horse riding, Swords as horses, Crack treated seriously, Friends to Lovers)

Nothing to rec, but I was wondering which fic prompted #4 :) (in general would like it if requesters specified which fic they mean if they make a reference to something)

~*~

5. Any fics that have the Yiling laozu and reincarnated Wei Ying in Mo Xuanyu’s body in the same time period and Lahn Zhan’s reaction to both? I read one called Me Myself and Lan Wanji by Melon and A Tide of Teo Seas by Occulting, so was looking for more or similar fics. Thanks! @toyft2

🔒 Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar by masked (T, 13k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Fluff, Humor, Time Travel, 5+1 Things, Jealous WWX, the Impeccable Trust between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, POV Outsider, everyone is Thirsty for Hanguang-jun as one tends to be)

~*~

6. Hi! Happy New Year! I hope 2025 is a blessed year for you all!

For ITMF: any fics that include WangXian wedding where JC is there as WWX’s family. @bitemepotter

Thank you for all your hard work!

With Absolute Splendor by Lise (T, 43k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Wedding planning, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a happy ending)

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Rape, not explicit but definitely referenced, Time Travel, Not Everyone Dies au, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, WWX/babie tendencies, WQ is a queen in any reality, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, WWX finds new ways to be oblivious, seriously it surprised even us, Для нас обоих (И время лишь бумажная луна) by nomuad, [Podfic] Cold read of For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by kisahawklin)

A Lifetime of It (Please, and Thank You) by misscam (M, 5k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, JC & WWX, Wedding, Humor, Fluff, Angst, some naughtiness, Switching)

💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, WangXian, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX, Post-Canon, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, the make people respect WWX agenda, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Soft WangXian, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, a very very small amount of smut, also a possessed squirrel, El trabajo es bueno si lo quieres by evirtual3, [Podfic] Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts, Le feu qui gagne la rivière by Silu_chan, [Podfic of] The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by exmanhater)

The long road home by dea_liberty (M, 9k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Found Families, Happy Ending, a lot of feelings, Epilogue, Marriage, so many feelings, Some angst, (Русский) The long road home by rootofallevil)

~*~

7. Hello! Good morning/afternoon/evening! For I'm In The Mood For: fics where LWJ thinks that WWX rejected him (after confessing to him) or that WWX only calls him a friend and he just accepted that they could be nothing more.

Only for WWX to find out that LWJ's crush rejected him or that LWJ is heartbroken and tries to find out who rejected LWJ.

LWJ could distance himself from WWX or they continue staying friends. I could definitely go with either Angst or Humor. Thank you :D

r/relationships by vespertineflora (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Viral Reddit Post, Pining, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Awkward Flirting, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Comedy, Love Confessions, Kissing, Happy Ending, r/relationships [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

Some of You by tangerinechar (M, 60k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi Modern AU, Social Media, Actor AU, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Love Confessions, Matchmaking, Light Angst)

How Wei Ying Went from Oblivious Idiot to Shameless Boyfriend in Three Days by misscam (T, 5k, WangXian, College/University, Modern AU, Getting Together, Humor)

Far Away You Are by cqlorphan (E, 17k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Misunderstandings, cleared up by juniors ensemble, Explicit Consent, Bottom LWJ. Top WWX, but i'm sure they switch about it, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff and Smut, with a little angst - as a treat)

~*~

8. Hello and happy holidays!! ❤️✨️

ITMF Wei Ying returning from the BM not as a normal human, but changed. Like, maybe he A) becomes a fierce corpse (either sentient/semi/ordinary), B) a ghost/spirit/ghost fire, or C) he is "reborn" or remade there into another form entirely (some horror creature/a demonic animal).

Also peferrably with Wei Ying dying before being thrown into the BM (maybe he is not even thrown there, like in Grief Kindly Stopped by ShanaStoryteller), so the Wens and everyone else are sure he is dead, angst and grief following. Or maybe he disappears like in canon, and later after his return it is found out that he is not alive/fully human anymore.

Thank you everyone! @shellennium

🔒 A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX’s questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding) Wei Ying dies after being thrown into the Burial Mounds but he returns "other."

🔒between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, SanLi, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, sorta, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating, Happy Ending) I think between the shadow and the soul also works but Wei Ying doesn't exactly die in this one.

~*~

9. Hello! I wanted to know if there are any fics where Wei Wuxian had enough and snapped at everyone including Lan Wangji @yuukikonnos-world

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10. Hii - first off: obligatory thank you so much for the work you do in this fandom!! (I feel like you get this all the time but also not often enough: so just: thank you thank you thank you!!)

For the next itmf - I was wondering if you all have any specific favorites or have a compilation list of fics along the lines of “character watches the show/reads the book” whatever; not picky on what character watches or is focused on!

💖 The Path by Seastar98 (Not Rated, 279k, WangXian, CQL Verse, Golden core reveal, Fix-it of sorts, Angst with a happy ending)

💖 Teen Project to Change the World by animeloverhomura (Not rated, 841k, wangxian, watching the series, fix-it of sorts, bamf!wwx, WIP)

The Characters of MDZS Watching the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by emma_screams (M, 166k, WIP, WangXian, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Drama)

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, WIP, WangXian, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Time Travel Fix-it)

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11. For itmf, I'm craving some wangxian who are reuniting after being separated for whatever reason and one of them is shocked to find out the other now has a child and there are big feelings about the whole thing. Ty!

estuaries by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 34k, WangXian, Modern, Breakup/makeup, breakup mostly happens off-screen, Pining while fucking, Single Dad WWX, brief mention of chronic illness, Angst with a Happy Ending)

i guess i’ll have to change my plan by darjeelinh (E, 42k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Love at First Sight, First Kiss, First Time, Inspired by Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004), soft rom-com vibes, One Night Stands, but not really, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, they both have demi vibes in this fight me about it, Misunderstandings, Separations, Reunions, WangXian canon Elopement™️ shenanigans, now with art)

plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by fleurdeliser (E, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, Car Accidents, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Explicit References to Injuries and Death, References to Addiction, Doctors & Physicians, Falling In Love, soft romance, background 3zun, [Podfic of] plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by knight_tracer, [Podfic of] plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by exmanhater)

my dreams are playing softer now by fleurdeliser (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Drunken Shenanigans, First Dates)

❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Single Parent WWX, Homophobia, LQR’s A+ Parenting, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, idiots to lovers, car seats as an expression of love, literal plot bunnies, Fluff, some not-so-light Angst, the inherent eroticism of boning down while receiving free childcare)

Lifelong Confidant by saved (E, 42k, wangxian, modern, Fluff and Angst, Past Character Death, Families of Choice, Explicit Sexual Content, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, playing fast and loose with basic real life things, references to past alcoholism/substance abuse, Alcohol)

Unstrictly Ballroom by Ariaste (T, 47k, WangXian, background SongXiao, Modern AU, Everyone’s alive, the gang defeats systemic heteronormativity, Stripper AU, competitive ballroom dance AU, really stupid misunderstandings, Yearning, Mutual Pining, the wrist grab, Erotic Handholding, [Podfic] Unstrictly Ballroom by RevolutionaryJo, Unstrictly Ballroom [Podfic] by esbielle)

Yesterday Once More by Sweetlittlevampire (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern, Reality Show, Long Lost Family AU, Adoption, Family Reunions, Reunions, Lost Love, Getting Back Together, Family Feels, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, [Podfic] Yesterday Once More by shash_reads (sunkitten_shash))

Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink)

~*~

12. In the mood for a fic where Lan Zhan have Qi deviation or is in serious danger of it. I have read one fic that Lan Zhan nearly qi deviates and it made me interested in this concept (I loved how everyone was so worried and protective of him, even his uncle). I haven't seen any other fics like that so far so I would be grateful for the help.

No-One Else (As Much As You) by sami (M, 6k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, Family, Slice of Life, Children, Insecurity, Unexpected Complications Of Reincarnation, Mild qi deviation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) LWJ has a mild qi deviation in this one, but FYI it is a sequel and may not make much sense without reading the first in the series

~*~

13. Hi, first, thanks for all your amazing work. You have been a source of joy and help with my sanity for years!! I want to know if you could include a request for the next I'm in the Mood for a Fic post. I want fics related to Reality TV. I have read all the ones you have in your Fic Compilations, but I wonder if there is any more!! Specially any fic inspired by Survivor or by The Amazing Race!! Pretty please!! Be well!! Happy New Year!! Hugs!!! @monicaop21

Thank you for the new recs!! I think this are amazing stories!! If there are any more later I'll keep an eye for it ;). Be well!!!

❤️ Knight Hunt! Phoenix Mountain by travelingneuritis (E, 51k, wangxian, modern, dating show, Modern Cultivation, but in the silliest way possible, Reality TV, the juniors are interns, Smut, Illustrations, low-stakes pining)

and from our own/live to ourselves by betweentheheavesofstorm (M, 105k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fantasy, Reality TV, Arctic Survival, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Getting Together, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Bloodletting, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Animal Death, Hunting, Mild Sexual Content)

🔒 will the cultivators Nail It? by AmyNChan (G, 21k, Nailed It AU, Modern, TV Show, Chaotic WWx, Awkward JZX, SS Being an Asshole, Judge LWJ. the Nailed It editors deserve a shoutout, THIS IS FOR YOU GUYS AND YOUR FANTASTIC EDITS, Nichole and Jacques being best friends)

A Right Hook to the Heart by azurewaxwing (G, 3k, NMJ/QS, MXY/NHS, Modern, Reality Show, Punching your future father in law in the face as a metaphor for love)

Soup is Another Word for Love by azurewaxwing (G, 1k, JYL/JZX, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Modern Setting, Reality Show)

The Millionaire Matchmaker (makes a match) by DizziDreams (T, 6k, JC/NHS, Reality Show, Millionaire Matchmaker AU, JC's standards aren't too high, everyone else just needs to be better, #teamBullyJiangCheng, Modern)

Love Is Blind (and also stupid) by DizziDreams (T, 5k, WangXian, Love is Blind AU, Reality Show, Modern, Love is Blind AU, Reality Show, Modern, El Amor Es Ciego (y estúpido) by evirtual3)

🔒 Lan Zhan gives shocking romantic confession on Dirty Laundry season three (not clickbait!!) by dykemania (T, 8k, LXC/JGY, WangXian, LXC & NHS, Modern, Actors, Reality Show, POV LXC, Love Confessions, On Set, Gaunyin Temple scene but reality TV)

floating prison by spicecandy (E, 25k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC/WQ, Reality Show, Yachting, Boats and Ships, Dom/sub Undertones, Blow Jobs, JC& WWX Reconciliation, Chef LWJ, Alcohol, Drunken Flirting, Getting Together, Ensemble Cast, Modern)

~*~

14. Hi, I'm in the mood for a wangxian multiple time loops fic. I've recently been reading a Korean bl called Cloudless Sky (highly recommend, modern with super powers, found family, A+ plot so far about the mc repeating the same tragedy over and over again) and it was so WangXian coded that I know I'm going to be itching to read a similar one after I've finished. I've come across a few in the past but they've never been completed so it'd be great if the recommended fics are also complete :) @gsmileys

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy)

Every Time You Close Your Eyes by brooklinegirl (E, 38k, WangXian, Time Loop, Modern AU, Modern with Cultivation, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, I swear there is a happy ending, but yeah WWX dies a lot, Case Fic)

Rebirth of a Wretched Mayfly by marikazz (M, 15k, WangXian, Time Loop, Time Travel, Groundhog Day, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Trust Issues, Hurt WWX, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Okay, Mental Breakdown, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Angst, Dissociation, Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, POV WWX)

~*~

15. This would be for ITMF? I just read That Bitter Draught by nirejseki, it's a Su She central fic but it's so well written (it stays true to his character too) and it actually made me like Su She! I'll love to read similar fics if it exists (praying it does). I don't care too much about the ships, I just want more Su She central fics

Honestly, What Did You Expect by BlueberryLimoncello (T, 27k, WIP, WangXianShe, WangXianOC, waking up as a minor villain, playing fast and loose with the plot, playing even faster with the mechanics of qi, MC is SS, POV SS, POV First Person, potentially making everything worse?, Unreliable Narrator)

💙🔒Su She Eats his Heart Out by KizuKatana (T, 16k, WangXian, 3rd person pov, implied offscreen wangxian sex)  

~*~

16. ok so when i was daydreaming as always i come up with some ideas and i thought im sure someone wrote this. A) Wangxian / regression. Wei or Wangji or both will turn back in time where they can fix their past mistakes or regrets before bad things happen. Rewriting of Mo Dao Zu Shi from a regression perspective. ( i don't prefer the untamed fics but I don't care as long as i can find what i want) . I have one more but letter limit prevent me writing so i will make a second of this

B) Second one is more spesific and probably there is no fic like that. This is more like transmigration/isekai where some fan or reader of the mdzs enter the story as a side/mob and try to fix things and also brings couples together. I don't want mc to fall in love with main characters or anything like she must ship wangxian(it is a must) and make them couples. She can have a romance with any other side/mob character.( Like mc transmigrated as madam yu can have romance with jfm and fix her family ) @kaiserokitadesadesougoii

16A)

🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)

💖 Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nostalgia, Subtly Assertive LWJ, WWX Won't Back Down But Blushes Anyway, Very Mild Angst with a Happy Ending)

Family by Quiet_crash (G, 57k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JLY & WWX & JC, LXC & WWX, JYL & LWJ, Time Travel Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Established Relationship)

🔒 We Can See a New Start by preciousbunnynoiz (M, 127k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, Soulmates, Time Travel Fix-It, Biting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, but mentally they are adults, Making Out, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Happy Ending, PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Supportive LWJ, Communication, Soul Bond, Blood, Found Family, Parent-Child Relationship, aromantic JC, Lesbian WQ, Queerplatonic Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Disassociate episodes, disassociating, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Depression, Delusions, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Attempted Sexual Assault, Therapy, Supportive JC, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Torture, Revenge, Self-Sacrifice, Accidental Bonding, Brotherly Bonding)

this is our vow by orro (E, 142k, WangXian, WIP, Major Character Death, Time Travel Fix-It, Butterfly Effect, For Want of a Nail, Character Death, Sunshot Campaign, Child Death, War Crimes, Time Travelling WWX, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet)

16B)

i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized (M, 50k, OFC/LXC, minor WangXian, Isekai, Transmigration, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Amateur cartography, Butterfly Effect, Sunshot Campaign, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, No Golden Core Transfer, Dimension Travel, Politics, LXC the politician, Self-Insert, Foreknowledge, Angst with a Happy Ending)

The Tamed by Escheria (T, 481k, WangXian, WIP, LWJ/XZ, WYB/WWX, YiZhan, YLLZ WWX, The Untamed (TV) References, Overpowered WWX, XZ is WWX, Canon Divergence, Transmigration, Isekai, Demonic Cultivation, Genius WWX, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soulmates, Reincarnation)

~*~

17. itmfff

fcis with the "don't touch my wife!" trope in arranged marriage or otherwise plsplsplspls

thank u sm! @bunnycoffeeumcat

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[drdemonprince]

I’m liking the normalized conversations around childhood sexual assault and sexuality. There’s something even more “taboo” that no one talks about. I dont know if you actually want to respond to this but I’ll type it out if even just for cathartic purposes.

People very rarely discuss sexual assault where the victim actually gets pleasure out the experience. I was molested by a neighbourhood kid not much older than me who I believe was sexualized by his dad and encouraged to do things to the girls in our neighbourhood. I heard rumours about other girls.

Anyway I dont know if these events caused hyper sexuality or if it was already there and that’s why I responded the way I did. But basically he would do things and I would just kinda giggle and enjoy it. I was super young like maybe 4 and he was around 6. In my mind he was showing me attention like grown ups do who are in a relationship so I thought he was kinda like my boyfriend which I liked and I felt kinda special. But he was not into me like that at all and grew up to be a good looking popular prep school boy with like a million girls after him.

I look back and go yeah actually that was kinda gross and weird but my responses always made me feel more shame than what he did. Like there was something wrong with me for reacting that way.

I don’t know if you know Billy Connelly the Scottish comedian. He was molested by his dad and spoke about how it caused pain but there was pleasure in it too. It is like that because if you touch a human body in a certain place and way we will have natural responses albeit unwillingly.

I recently read something on here where this chick who was raped said she orgasmed through it. She still felt violated, traumatized, all those things. But her body responded that way and that caused her a lot of shame.

I wonder if this is more common than we think but no one talks about it? Which makes it a really hard place to come from and harder to try and talk openly about it and get support. Because people just probably think it’s gross and unnatural. Or that is means you “wanted it” therefore it’s not assault and your experience becomes invalidated.

I wish Tumblr's search function was better because I have talked about this many times before! I came during the majority of my assaults, it makes sense that this would be a self protective mechanism that the body employs to prevent physiological damage during rape. One of my assaults is so vividly linked to unstoppable/unintended pleasure in my mind that it's still one of my number one spank-bank topics; I masturbate about my assault on a regular basis and have frequently used sexual scenarios with consenting partners to recreate it for myself. What you are describing is super common anon. Try looking back in the archive for the taboo kinks asks to hopefully see more about this.

[whateverisbeautiful]

How do you think Rick’s relationship with RJ will be more similar or different to his relationship with Carl? Obviously every kid is different and there’s a different dynamic there, but it’s interesting to think about/would be cool to see play out!

I think the similarities will be that Rick has a similar sense of honesty and transparency with his sons. Rick allowed Carl to see a more human side of himself rather than just trying to be an authoritarian or an intangible superhero in his son’s life. When Rick expressed to Carl that he understands he’s a man now in 4.09, I feel like going forward he made an effort to find this balance of still protecting him/treating him as his child while also respecting how Carl was coming into his own as an individual. I think as RJ becomes a man, Rick will try to aid him along that journey in a similar way. He’ll treat/protect him as a child but will also be honest about his own humanness and vulnerabilities. And he’ll care to hear RJ’s thoughts and opinions on things like he did with Carl. Also, considering Rick, Carl, and RJ are all stubborn I think that might be the similar common thread in whatever conflict Rick has with his sons. 

I think the difference in their dynamics might have to do with temperament. I get the sense that Rick and RJ will probably have a more similar temperament which could allow them to communicate with a bit less tension than Rick and Carl sometimes had. I know sometimes it’s actually the kid who is most similar to their parent that ends up butting heads the most with that parent, but idk when it comes to Rick and RJ and being under their unique circumstances of meeting when RJ was older, I think their personalities and outlooks will align well and help them relate and understand each other. 

One of the biggest differences in their dynamics will of course stem from the fact that Carl was able to form an instant trust and bond with his dad right from birth, whereas Rick will have to establish that trust and bond a bit more intentionally with RJ. I think the evolution of Rick and RJ’s relationship will entail Rick figuring out how to go from The Brave Man to Dad in RJ’s eyes. Because RJ understands Rick is his father, but to really feel like this man is my dad who I can always turn to and rely on in a different way than anyone else - that will be something Rick will have to build in a different way than he had to with Carl. But they’ll definitely eventually build that and have a strong relationship because Rick and RJ had that innate initial connection already just from their first time in front of each other.

[generalpenguinangel]

Thoughts inspired by @saulbetter's recent posts.

This show is kind of sold or discussed as "spies! but they suck at being spies!" But the thing that all the slow horses actually have in common isn't that they're bad spies, it's that they're people without social capital. They actually range from competent to excellent at the technical aspects of their work (Ho, Catherine, Marcus, Shirley, Coe, and even River are all good at the hard skills of their jobs. We are told Louisa screwed up but in both show and books she is shown to be one of the most reliable performers on the team). But they don't have friends or patrons to protect them when things go sideways.

The reason they're the rejects is because they're loners who struggle to connect with other people for all their various reasons (childhood trauma, job-related PTSD, addiction, personality disorder, inherent temperament). So they're playing checkers when their internal opponents at Regent's Park are playing chess. To the extent that they even realize that the social/political game exists (Ho and Catherine mostly don’t), they're bad at it (Coe, Lech) and/or think they shouldn't have to play it (Marcus, Shirley). River impressively manages to be deficient in all three aspects: totally naive to the politics of advancement within the Park, bad with people, and so committed to his own view of himself as a Boy Scout that he thinks he shouldn't have to sully his hands with any of it.

This is why the show is such a brilliant office drama. This one is for all the folks who are good on paper but bomb in interviews, for all the people who are promoted based on their technical mastery and then shit the bed as managers because they're illiterate at reading people. This is why it's such a stroke of genius that River's ascendant career is cut off at the knees by tailing Taverner. He's so full of himself and such a try hard that he mistakenly thinks doing an unrequested extra credit assignment about his boss makes him clever instead of creepy, annoying, and red flagged as a potential troublemaker.

Unfortunately, because Mick Herron is unable to let the story or the characters grow, this excellent premise results in some deep weirdness later in the book series. (Weirder than the deadbeat dad child soldier sex cult plotline, you say? Idk, you be the judge.)

Book spoilers under the cut.

First, let’s talk about Lech Wicinski. (I know, no one wants to talk about Lech Wicinski, but he is the curly-haired insomniac introvert of my heart so I’m going to talk about him.) I love Lech but parts of his origin story are so stupid. He’s just a normal guy who is comfortable in his niche and relatively unambitious and gets screwed by ambitious people’s big ego shenanigans, which he falls into by accident when he unthinkingly steps outside his work comfort zone for a minute. So far, so good. But then, while he’s desperately trying to save his job and reputation, he’s also… not? Like, why would this sort of overly serious but otherwise very normal young-ish middle class man immediately and inexplicably decide not to seek medical treatment for a profoundly disfiguring injury? Why does he never even actually try to show to his fiancee that the revelation that causes the breakdown of their relationship was completely fictitious? It makes no sense! Except, the author is lazily destroying Lech’s social capital to make it make sense that he’s now a slow horse for life. 

Similarly, River can’t have Sid in S1 because she is a bright and well-rounded person while he is cute but also an idiot nepo baby manchild. So do the books resolve this imbalance by allowing River to grow - or even just change - in response to various challenges like dashed career aspirations, finally meeting his psychopath biodad, the steep mental decline of his beloved father figure, etc? No. Instead of letting River at least attempt to grow up, the books put River and Sid on a level by cutting Sid down instead - putting her in protection (ie. cutting all her social ties) and giving her a traumatic brain injury that hollows out her previously bright personality. Heaven knows we’re all miserable now. Sure do hope they fix that plotline for the show! I love them as endgame and I honestly think the show could do something so satisfying and poignant with them finally finding their missed connection but the books make the way they finally get together so creepy and sad.

[glitter-stained]

Psychopathology in The Protector

So, I just realised I write stories about mental illness and do meta about it, but I haven't really talked about what's going on in my stories explicitly, so I figured it might be interesting to talk about what's going on on that front in The Protector (especially since I had gotten an ask about how to write dissociative episode, so I thought it'd be nice to talk more concretely about the link between writing and psychoanalysis meta). So of course, spoiler warning for the whole fic. Also, I wrote the story with all of my psychopatholgy headcanons and meta for the characters, but the meta only focuses on the parts explicitly shown in the story and for which I think there's stuff worth detailing, so if you're wondering "why doesn't Mia have CPTSD", "why doesn't Dick's pathological grief focus on his parents as well", they do, it's just not shown explicitly/enough in the story. With that said, let's get to it!

> So starting easy with Jason, about 60% of the point of the fic was writing about cptsd in the context of csa, so obviously he has CPTSD. In most of the fic, it expresses itself mostly with traumatic nightmares, panic attacks in the context of vivid traumatic flashbacks in which he thought he was back in the traumatic moment (ie waking up from the nightmares, the panic attack in the room with Tim and Steph, or the chapter 6 fight scene with Dick...) and of course that fight against Martian Manhunter where he voluntarily triggers a flashback to his death. Dude. But just because he has CPTSD like in canon doesn't mean it's expressed the same way! Here, the emphasis on the flashbacks and traumatic memories is much more intense (which has less to do with some fundamental change in his character and more to do with a ploy regarding reader empathy and the theme of taboo). However, when it comes to the "complex" part, the biggest change is that in canon, during his time as Robin, Jason grew to trust Bruce and consider himself as Bruce's son. Here, the whole point of the story is that their relationship is much more fragile: while Jason loves Bruce and sees him as his father, he very obviously never grows to fully trust him, and doesn't think of himself as Bruce's son/thinks Bruce regards him as such (as seen by him correcting himself after calling Bruce dad in the flashback in chapter 11). So while Jason's whole crisis is about a virulent devaluation of Bruce, I don't think it's fair to consider that this particular bpd criteria is fulfilled: this is based on false beliefs that are very stable and even logical regarding bruce and his worldview, that have literally lasted the whole 4 years since he met him (5 including the time he spent in a coma/dissociating). However, the identity crisis part is extremely salient, with Jason torn between the Robin and Red Hood identities (to the point of Duke suspects a jekyll and hyde type situation). The story as a whole puts so much emphasis on the concept of roles (hero, villain, victim, guardian, protector, avenger, etc.) in the context of trauma, as etiquettes that can give comfort and reassure our sense of control but fail to depict the true complexity of a situation. The most blatant example of this, imo, is the fight with Dick in chapter 6, where he goes from beating the shit out of Dick to cradling him gently upon realising Dick is having a traumatic flashback, because he immediately switches from "villainous enabling monster" to "victim, must be protected" as the two can't coexist in his mind. Around chapter 11 and through chapter 12, as a consequence of the final confrontation (and how badly he managed to retraumatize himself), Jason's dissociation symptoms go from something very hyperactived (fighting and flailing vividly in flashbacks, having panic attacks) to primarily hypoactivated, with an extremely absent attitude similar to the one in Lost Days (remember how we talked about the "catatonia" actually being a dissociative episode?) Because of the frequence and intensity of those episodes, and because I had a feedback loop in mind when I wrote them, I'd say they would warrant an additional Derealization/Depersonalisation Disorder diagnosis.

> Talking about Dick! Mostly the story focuses on his PTSD in regard to Catalina raping him while in shock after Blockbuster's death. Regarding his PTSD, aside from the flashbacks, our resident acrobat is also touch-averse and has nightmares. Because of his screwed up sleep schedule due to both the vigilant life and nightmares, he also experiences sleep paralysis, which tends to trigger flashbacks to the moment of his rape (mostly due to not being able to move and feeling a weight on top of him); the spiders are a mix of sleep paralysis hallucination and traumatic flashback. With time, this leads to him developing, not really a fully-fledged phobia but a clear, intense discomfort towards spiders in general.

> Bruce, Dick and Tim all have pathological grief. For Bruce and Dick, for the purpose of that story this grief is mainly focused on Jason (in chapter 2, Bruce sees Jason in the glass case and it's implied that he's been seeing him many times; Dick hallucinates Jason in chapter 3, and we're told that this is a setback as it hadn't happened in years). For Tim, it's a little more complicated: because of this AU's compressed timeline, our boy just lost, in rapid succession: his mom, Darla Aquista, Steph and his dad. He's not doing so great. But Tim's pathological grief is at the intersection with his ptsd (see: the mention of his nightmares in chapter 1). The limit between ptsd and pathological grief is already very blurry at times in the classification, but with the conjunction of the two it would be absurd to try and separate the two. And it's in the context of Tim's civilian identity being permanently attached to a kid that died and whose suit is displayed in the cave, so there's this constant stress and pressure of not failing, lest you end up like Jason, which completely haunts Tim with regard to his feelings of powerlessness at saving the people he's lost, hence why he's haunted by a dead Robin (with the caveat that Tim's view of Robin Jason was more positive than in canon, there's some mention of victim-blaming near the end but mostly Tim thought very positively of Jason due to him being Robin and the attachment to the symbol. This has nothing to do with particularities in their psychologies from the trauma or or anything, Tim's just a secondary character and I didn't have the space to focus on that since the story isn't about Tim, it's a topic that would have deserved more space and I didn't want to take space away from the central point of the story.) With Tim, we also see insomnia, fatigue and a perturbation of his usual life rythm as a result of that grief/ptsd. I also gave him food sensitivities, but that has nothing to do with the grief or trauma, it's just one of my hcs for Tim.

> With Cass, we see, again, other possible expressions of PTSD. We see her be haunted by what looks like a hallucination of herself as a little girl holding onto her victim's heart: sometimes traumatic flashbacks can look a lot like hallucinations (and lead to false psychosis diagnosis). We also see avoidance, which is really not something I see often mentioned when talking about ptsd, and yet avoidance of triggers plays a key role in how the disorder works. In chapter 11, Cass is already triggered by the situation as a whole and seeing Jason relieve his murder, faced with her powerlessness, induces emotions too intense, which she has to run away to evacuate in private; in chapter 12, it's mentioned that she avoids Jason for the same reasons. We also see the impact of the stress on her mood and social interactions, with her snapping at Barbara, beating up the punching bag, and all the anger she holds towards herself resurfacing as well as her anger towards Jason (which is more complex but involves a big level of projection.) It's also mentioned that her speech regresses in the months following the kidnappings. That's because in the timeline of this AU, Cass is at a moment where she's learnt how to speak, but it is not automatic yet: it still takes effort and focus for her to do. Because of this, it's much more sensitive to stress, and the exhaustion of being stressed out all the time, which is why she struggles more when recovering from the events of the story. She has little screen-time, but I do think her thought process during that does involve a rigidity and a dichotomy associated with her complex trauma, which is why Jason's general existence challenges her worldview and triggers her so much, in a mirror of Jason's crisis regarding Dick: there are the villains, who do terrible things and need to be punished/sent away, and there are the victims, who need to be protected, and she can't forget what he did (and what he made her think he did) that prove him a villain, and she can't stop her empathy and reading skills that prove he is a victim. Hence the crisis.

> Steph also experiences PTSD; while there's mention (in chapter 3) of the repetition of traumatic events causing CPTSD, the story focuses on the trauma from Black Mask and mostly on the "classic ptsd symptom" side. We have hypervigilance and panic attacks (in chapter 3), which is also why she attacks Tim before having taken her environment into account in chapter 4). We also see her avoiding her triggers with a lot of urgency; running away from the manor in chapter 12 is part of this, of course, but also her refusal to stay in rooms with closed doors in general (see her anger towards Ollie in chapter 9), and getting rid of her bedroom door entirely in chapter 12.

I think that's all for now, but I'll come back to this if other stuff occurs to me, feel free to ask if you have any questions!

[sreiumboost]

I think people are forgetting how amazing the first two hello neighbor games are

Hello neighbor one (although it had MANY glitches and bugs) was still a VERY good game for me. I loved the anticipation of it, from the alphas to the actual game. Reliving Nicky's trauma, from when he was a kid, to finally defeating it as an adult. Not too mention, those haunting cutscenes to do with Theodore! Usually lots of HN content shows Theodore as some psychopathic kidnapper/murderer, but in hello neighbor one, he's shown through who he really is. A truly broken, emotionally drained man who tries everything to keep his secrets hidden.

Hello neighbor hide and seek did such an amazing job at showing us the back story of the petersons. Diane's death literally caused Theodore to become depressed, and this led to Aaron being too harsh with Mya, causing him to accidentally kill her. It shows us that not only did Theodore suffer, everyone else around him did. It led Theodore to having no choice but to lock away his own son. It wasn't a punishment, it was for protection. He DIDN'T want too loose his son as well, and I don't think Aaron wanted to loose his dad either.

Nicky was naive, he thought he was uncovering the secrets, he thought he was the hero. But he wasn't. He just dragged himself involved into this tragic mess, caused by Theodore himself. Theodore was desperate to fix everything, he lost Diane, he lost Mya, he locked Aaron away, and now, he has to make sure Nicky won't go off and tell anyone about Aaron. Theodore didn't lock Nicky away to harm him, he locked him away because he couldn't take another risk.

And then Nicky escapes after a couple of weeks, and this (obviously) gives Nicky his trauma. And then, when Nicky is 32, he moves back to Raven Brooks and he FIGHTS the demons that has been haunting him for so long. He finally understands what had happened to the Petersons family. And more importantly, he had understood the reason why Theodore had done what he had done to Nicky.

Not only was the story well crafted, but the scenery and visuals to do with hello neighbor was unique in its own way. Hello neighbor hide and seek made this extremely clear, which is why I won't dive too much into it.

Also, to do with the glitches, most people think it "ruins" the game, but for me, it actually makes it better lol. I love messing around with the AI and the bugs, there's endless things you could do in these games, really. 7 whole years has done a crazy turn on me, AND I STILL KEEP FINDING NEW GLITCHES IN THE GAMES EVERY TIME I PLAY IT. It's not a perfect game, no game in existence is perfect. But hello neighbor and hello neighbor hide and seek are unique in its own way and it's outstanding for me

I personally love these two games the most, out of the whole entire... What? 13...14 games? I still definitely love the book series as well, and maybe a bit of secret neighbor. But hello neighbor and hello neighbor hide and seek are my favorite, and nothing can change that

[twineswine]

Dick Grayson raised by Catwoman. After the flying Graysons die he runs away but instead of being scooped up by billionaires he tries (very unsuccessfully) to scrape by on his own. Catwoman finds him and takes care of him. Call him Ocelot while he’s Robin age then some sort of big cat like Panther when he’s Nightwing era.

Jason Todd raised by Harley Quinn. NOT the Joker, Harley Quinn, or at least both at the start and ending with just her basically being the parent. He could be the catalyst for why she eventually decides she needs to leave the Joker, which is why Joker kills him, and either Todd comes back because Harley begs the al’Ghuls to in exchange for a way to get at the Joker, or because he’s a talented marital artist and they think having him would be a good asset. How he comes back is up to you. You could call him Jester at Robin age, Redhood would probably still work for late stage but instead of the cowl it could be a big red hat or something lmao.

Tim Drake could slot in with the Penguin pretty easily, since in the runs I’m familiar with, his family betrays the Penguin and they get put in witness protection. In the AU, instead of betraying him, Cobblepot could be his mentor or godfather or something.

Damian is pretty cut and dry, he just never leaves the League of Assassins.

Stephanie Brown, instead of being mad her dad was returning to crime, could actually help him out or just become the next Cluemaster.

Duke Thomas could be raised by his father Gnomon instead of his mom, but I’m not really that familiar with Gnomon or Duke.

Cassandra Cain could, like the last two, also follow in David Cain’s footsteps to become a top assassin.

Other options for Grayson and Todd could be:

Mister Freeze: They’re used as burglars to take equipment they need for Nora’s treatment that need a more subtle touch than a snowman in a power suit. They wind up being the son Freeze always wished he’d have with Nora.

The Riddler: I feel like this would go best with Jason, but the idea would be that the Riddler takes on a student or pupil to make someone with a mind that could rival his own. But, Jason gets smarter than him, which really REALLY makes Nigma mad, and it winds up being Riddler who kills his own student/son, which leads into Jason being revived and coming back as Hush.

I might put more in later, but those are the best ones I came up with. Hope this helps!

I’m definitely an au where some of the bat kids are villains or anti heroes and raised by various rogues instead of Bruce but I need some ideas

[sammaggs]

I just love wherever is going on here between Ray and Dief

[raticalshoez]

Assissins and spies and their stupid found families

[sallymew4]

kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once

im not even joking btw

bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^

[gingermintpepper]

Day 3: Asclepius

Interpretation notes and trivia under the cut!!

Woo boy, this guy was another difficult character to settle on both a design and an interpretation for! Asclepius tends to have two big schools of thought for his tale, either he's the tragic doctor who resorted to illicit methods in order to save his patients or he's a strict scientist who was so skilled at his art that his resuscitations were called magic but were just science. I don't actually mind either interpretation, but due to the way I personally see Coronis and the way I chose to interpret Asclepius' birth story, I chose to focus on a different facet of Asclepius; Asclepius the family man. The theme of geneology and the inheritance of 'curses' through blood and birth is one that permeates this work and Asclepius, in a lot of ways, has not only inherited both his mother and father's banes but his actions and talents create new ones for his children. Throughout this, and all the many messy crimes Asclepius will commit in the name of what he thinks is necessary and right, he will willfully ignore the warning signs staring him dead in his face screaming that he will leave the burden of his work to his children and it will be easy. After all, Asclepius has made a career out of ignoring his own father's warnings and cautions, what are a few more red flags to ignore?

Less of a character note and more of a personal thing, but for a very long time I used his teenaged design when sketching out scenes and ideas but after tidying up my timeline, I realised that he would be an older man throughout the events of the story!! Since he's properly mortal, he would have to look his age and while that was slightly intimidating since I've not drawn many older characters, it also made me very excited since characters in the 40+ age range are rarely protagonists of these sorts of adventure/fantasy stories and working in the physical differences between him and his brothers was extremely fun!

Some fun trivia:

Youngest of Apollo's children currently alive and kicking. Maybe it was because Apollo so intensely regretted the way he dealt with Coronis but he doted endlessly on Asclepius and essentially personally oversaw his education and training. Because of this, Asclepius, without a doubt, is the child with the best relationship with Apollo between the brothers and believes unfalteringly in his father even if they have many practical and philosophical differences.

Has a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to necromancy and communing with the dead and spirits beneath the earth. Because he was rescued from the torch of death when he was babe, he has retained a connection with the chthonic. While he cannot exactly see figures like Thanatos or Hermes, he can certainly sense when they are afoot. Is very aware that Thanatos cannot stand him and expects to be taken by Ker when he does finally die.

Always keeps gold coins on him on the off chance he is spontaneously struck down while doing research or healing some previously unhealable disease. His father, upon realising that his warnings would be thoroughly ignored, pleaded for him to do at least that since after Asclepius is dead, Apollo would be unable to intercede for him.

Happily married and has four children! His eldest Machaon chose to follow his footsteps and became a gifted surgeon in his own right while his second eldest Iaso chose to follow her mother's footsteps and become more of a nurse than a doctor. He's endlessly proud of all of his children and hopes his research makes the world a better place for them.

Was recognised by Apollo at 15 and became Doctor Laureate at 17. Lost said laurels at 22 after he revived his second corpse from the dead and since then has been on a strict probation when practicing his medicine. Has a mark on his left wrist that will fill itself out if he commits such an atrocity again and then he will be marked for death and supposedly tormented until he forfeits his soul.

On very good terms with Orpheus and the two often work together and catch up when they happen to meet up while travelling. Never knew Eurydice but he gets the feeling that he would've really liked her.

Despite being a son of Apollo, has absolutely zero musical talent and cannot dance. He can't maintain his hair either and would've cut it multiple times over if Apollo himself didn't stop him and chastise him for even thinking about such a thing. Epione does his hair. The little braids in his beard are courtesy of the twins Hygiea and Panacea who enjoy putting little braids in anything they can get their hands on.

Doesn't resemble his father or his mother actually! The relative he resembles most is his paternal grandfather Zeus, a fact that gives his wife endless grief because his hair is thick but not curly, a trait she covets. Asclepius having thick body and facial hair was also very awkward considering Apollo is incapable of growing body hair and, for a while, his lack of curls and cascade of body hair when Asclepius started puberty made Apollo doubt whether Asclepius was truly his or if he had saved Ischys' child instead.

Has zero self preservation and will hunt monsters and creatures for their blood, teeth, claws and hides for his medicines. Like his father, he has a personal 'wall of horrors' where he stores everything from gorgon blood to pegasus feathers to hydra venom. Sometimes gods in the guise of men will simply give him precious materials because they know Asclepius is the one who will take their unsolveable cases in the face of disaster. It is a very risky exchange and has only barely skirted by Zeus' notice because actual money hasn't been exchanged (yet).

Preferred weapon is the scalpel and doesn't like fighting humans. Has a fire-retardant mantle made from chimera skin Apollo gave him when he was a child that doubles as a very good shield in a pinch.

Favourite colour is withy purple and his favourite food is goat butter spread on bread and topped with celery, tomatoes and olive oil. Has a lot of snake themed jewellry that he's passed on to his son because he thinks they're too gaudy for his old self to be wearing.

[straight-to-the-pain]

I don't know if anyone else in the whump community has read 'A Constellation of Vital Phenomena' by Anthony Marra but it is genuinely a really good book and also has some of the best depictions of torture and its aftermath that I have read in fiction.

I wanted to share some of my favourite quotes, hopefully without too many spoilers as it is out of context, but maybe skip this post if you don't want to know anything at all going in.

To give a brief summary, the book centres around the lives of people in Chechnya during the first and second war between the Russian government (Feds) and the separatist rebels. The main story focuses on a man (Akhmed) who is trying to save his neighbour's daughter from being killed by the Feds after her father is taken away in the middle of the night. He does this by taking her to a hospital where he then volunteers. One of the people in his village (Ramzan) becomes an informer for the Feds after being tortured, and this is explored in the excerpts below.

‘Information the Feds would torture them for was written here on the walls for all to see. It was well understood among the men that the Feds had as much sense as two bricks smashed together. It was also understood that pain, rather than information, was the true purpose of interrogation.'

'During his first detention in the landfill, in 1995, in the first war, he had refused to inform. They had wrestled down his trousers, shown him the bolt cutters, and still he had said no. Screaming, thrashing, with his manhood half severed, he had said no. He had done that, and now he was ready to start saying yes.'

'He would have confessed everything, but they didn't ask, weren't interested, threatened to cut out his tongue and put pliers to his teeth if he spoke one more fucking word. Electric wires were wound around his fingers. A car battery was drained into his bones. God might have been watching, but it wasn't God's finger on the battery switch. The interrogating officers didn't speak. Instead he was an instrument they played, performing a duet, and in their own way they conversed through his sobs. They both wore very shiny shoes. That was all he would remember.'

'He had trouble walking, He had forgotten torture could be so exhausting. The new interrogator, the one with less shiny shoes, held him upright, using his whole body as a crutch, and helped him walk. He carefully wiped Ramzan's forehead with a handkerchief before opening the door to the next room.'

'The interrogator with less shiny shoes crouched behind him. His hands were wet. Ramzan promised everything, and the interrogator, like the parent of a child too old to believe in ghosts, watched him with disappointment, his clear eyes saddened by Ramzan's sincerity. The interrogator took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, laid the live wires on Ramzan's chest and mapped the border of their shared humanity. Ramzan offered his soul. He begged to be enslaved. The known universe contracted to the limits of the cement floor, and on it, the interrogator was both man and deity, prophet and god. By ten o'clock the interrogator with less shiny shoes asked his first question. By eleven the electrical wires were unwound from Ramzan's fingers. By noon he was allowed to dress. By one he was on the FSB payroll. He kept thanking the interrogator with less shiny shoes.'

‘Greed didn’t motivate his informing, at least not primarily; primarily he informed by necessity, to survive, for his love and hate and above all awe of the power wielded by the interrogating officer with less shiny shoes.'

'That was his greatest fear. Could he stay silent? Could he withstand what awaited him? He told himself that his love for the girl should fortify him against any torture, but this, like so much of what he told himself, was a lie. After all, he was squeamish at the sight of blood, what would he say when lying in a puddle of his own? But he saw no other way. He would pray for the strength to stay silent, for a quick heart attack, and leave the rest to God.' (This is Akhmed POV)

'When they threatened to beat me, I said nothing, Akhmed. When they threatened to beat me, I said nothing. When they threatened to electrocute me, I said nothing. When they threatened to castrate me, I said nothing. I said nothing, Akhmed. Whatever you think of me, you remember that once I said nothing when a wiser man would have sung. And the interrogators, they couldn't believe it. They called in others to examine me. I was there on the floor, and above their faces were dark ovals silhouetted by the ceiling lights. They had beaten me hard and I couldn't hear right, but I kept saying no, with every breath I had. The main reason they let me go, the only reason they didn't shoot me right there was out of perverse respect, some sort of professional courtesy. But I wish they had shot me, Akhmed, because the good part of me died there, and all this, everything since, has been an afterlife I'm trying to escape.'

‘I knew what was coming. I knew it never stops. They put a shame inside you that goes on like a bridge with no end, the humiliation, the fucking humiliation of knowing that you are not a human being but a bundle of screaming nerve endings, that the torture goes on even when the physical hurt quietens. People treated me differently when I came back the first time.'

[postmail]

i love it when people give them this type of dynamic... silly whimsical old man + the baffled yet fond teenage boy who just. loves his weird ass cousin/uncle/grandpa(/dad??) so much he would throw away everything for his goofy ass. i sure do hope nothing happens to split these two bagginses up!

[wormieapple]

i am once again thinking about emma