#but I AM saying a found family should be people you know
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allwaswell16 · 15 hours ago
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A One Direction fic rec of fics I think you should read twice as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers. You can find my other recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis / Harry -
🍒 This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere
(E, 149k, X-Men au) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe.
🍒 There’s Such a Lot of World to See by @crinkle-eyed-boo
(E, 125k, Doctor Who au) Louis has seen a great many things throughout his travels in time and space, but only one he can’t explain: He keeps meeting the same boy, who says the same thing to him each time.
🍒 And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom
(E, 109k, blind Louis) For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him? For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart?
🍒 ghost of you by beckywritesthings / @beckydoesthings
(E, 109k, Star Wars au) when Harry Styles, esteemed Jedi Knight, finds out he has to work with the hot-tempered Mandalorian Duke, Louis Tomlinson, he’s prepared for it to go poorly. But it doesn’t, testing both of their boundaries of what they deem acceptable for a partnership.
🍒 Black with Autumn Rain by whimsicule / @baroness-elsa
(T, 93k, magical realism) Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren't exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.
🍒 Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense
(E, 83k, royal) Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. 
🍒 Unveiled by @phdmama
(M, 65k, omegaverse) most surprising are the people. There is a crowd gathered, filled with men and women, some in what looks to be a military uniform, some in what must be the street clothes in this Land. There are no robes. And not a single one of them is veiled.
🍒 Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember by @jaerie
(E, 53k, time travel) H.S. was likely the man in the photographs as well as the owner of the suitcase. Who was he? Why had his suitcase found its way into Niall’s attic? Was he still alive and well somewhere in the world? A camera, a suitcase, and a relationship forged through time.
🍒 Tied to Fate by @littlelouishiccups
(E, 52k, ghost) After his estranged father’s death, Harry inherits a castle in England that has belonged to his family for generations and he knows nothing about. When he breaks up with his boyfriend, Harry decides England is the perfect place for a small vacation. He isn’t prepared to meet Louis Tomlinson
🍒 The Second Hand Unwinds by @kingsofeverything
(E, 51k, time travel) Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.
🍒 Tied Down by HamPalpert
(E, 48k, crime) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. 
🍒 take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots / @anylessreal
(M, 45k, amnesia) the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.
🍒 And That's The Tea by @2tiedships2
(M, 27k, soulmates) the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be.
🍒 No One Like You by myownspark / @myownsparknow
(M, 19k, historical) Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.
🍒 I Am the Blinking Light by @dearmrsawyer
(G, 19k, ghost) There is a legend of a lighthouse far out to sea. It can’t be found on any map, and those who do find it never return. They say a ghost haunts the lighthouse, and you can hear it calling out in loneliness on the ocean waves.
🍒 Have Me And Hold Me by @letsjustsee
(NR, 5k, established relationship)  a wedding day AU in which Louis will let nothing stand in the way of a perfect day - especially a little rain.
🍒 No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way by runaway_train / @runaway-train-works
(E, 3k, camboy) The one where Harry has a particular desire that only Louis can fulfill
- Rare Pairs -
🍒 I Had Rather (series) by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships
(E, 261k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Nick and Louis like each other, but sometimes that's not enough.
🍒 Miss Missing You by harriet_vane
(M, 16k, Liam/Louis) Louis wakes up after an accident with a year of memories gone and something not quite right about his relationship with Liam.
🍒 Favourite Boy by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment
(T, 8k, Louis/Zayn) Zayn and Louis have been hook-ups for the past three years and Zayn is getting frustrated with it, but doesn't know what to do about it.
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olderthannetfic · 3 days ago
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It would do a lot of people well to keep in mind that "I am ashamed of this" and "I don't want to have that conversation" are two very different things (and neither is the same as "I would be unsafe if people found out", but people are generally pretty good at separating that one out).
Anecdote 1:
When I first started writing explicit fic, I was ashamed of it. I was worried what my friends would think of me (even though I knew objectively that none of them would care, and was very aware that many of them wrote explicit fic themselves) and I was embarrased and had some sex negativity baggage to overcome, so I made a second AO3 account. Now I've killed the cop in my head, as the kids say, and have told most of my friends who'd be interested about my fic, and and intend the merge the accounts whenever I get off my ass and have time for that project.
This was shame, pure and simple. I would have been better off if I'd been able to overcome the shame right away instead of spending all that time feeling like I had to hide a dirty secret.
Anecdote 2:
I have been dabbling with crossdressing lately. I'm a trans man and my family are supporting and accepting, but not very knowledgeable; pretty much everything they know about transness is stuff that I've taken the time to explain to them. They understand how important it is to me to be seen as a man, and when I first came out I explained, and they accepted, that wearing men's clothing is significant and meaningful and fulfilling for me. Crossdressing is something I'm experimenting with now that I'm more secure in my identity, and it's been pretty fun. I feel no shame or embarassment about this. But having to explain the intricate nuances of gender presentation, expectations, subversions, and how violating gender norms is fun would be a hell of a lot of work and I'm just not ready to sit my mom down and explain Advanced Concepts in Gender when she had to work to get a basic understanding of Gender is not Biology.
This is not shame. It's avoiding an awkward and lengthy conversation that I just don't see any point in having. So when my mom comes to visit I don't leave a skirt on the sofa. That's all.
Many people would say that my not wanting my mom to find out about the crossdressing is the same as my not wanting my friends to find out about the kinkfic. I knew my friends would be accepting of my fic, and I know my mom would be accepting of my crossdressing. Both are things that are perfectly fine, I should feel good about them, I shouldn't hide them. But hiding something doesn't necessarily mean you feel bad about it.
--
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katatty · 12 hours ago
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Shifting Priorities
Thank you for all the nice comments yesterday! Some really helpful perspectives that gave me a lot of ideas on how I can tackle my simmer's block :)
Mostly, I think I need to trim down the number of neighbourhoods I consider "active" and the amount of projects I am doing in general. I have a hard time letting go of neighbourhoods, especially if I am still somewhat invested in them! But I also need to face the fact that I only have so much free time, and do not want playing the sims to be the sole thing I do with that free time XD
For some neighbourhoods I will also be trying out a more stripped-down approach to blogging, similar to what I've been doing with Driftwood. It makes me a little sad because I like my sims to feel fleshed out as characters and giving them voices is a big part of that! But maybe I can save the prose/dialogue for times when it is particularly needed, rather than including it as a default.
Finally, I am going to prioritise based on what I actually have the most fun with, rather than letting popularity drive my decisions!! Some neighbourhoods I feel sad about potentially retiring because I know people enjoy them, or I feel bad admitting I am never going to finish projects people were excited for, but I have to remember simming is something I do for myself, not for popularity or for other people.
So, plans for my neighbourhoods:
Pleasantview Plus - will continue in its current form for the most part, but holdholds I found less inspiring will just get short summaries rather than extensive documentation. This hood is waaaaaaay too big and I think not that many people follow it all that closely, but it's also my one true love and I would like to start prioritising it again rather than it always being on the backburner
Uberhood Challenge (YouTube Series) - This is a short-term series, and will continue as planned until I finish the challenge, which I'm over halfway through :)
Hollyhead - I hate to say it because I know a lot of people love it, but I feel like I have sorta outgrown this neighbourhood? Some simmers like their settings to be an escape from the real world, and when I made Hollyhead I think it was what I needed too, but these days I find how upbeat & wholesome it is a bit, idk, constraining?? I crave drama and conflict in my stories!! I also have kinda lost interest in the BACC rules and have started to find it more book-keeping and hassle for what I get out of it... Whenever I do open the neighbourhood I still really enjoy actually playing it, and I love the characters so much, but I just haven't found the events interesting enough to want to write about. I think this neighbourhood will not be retired completely (yet), but I will move towards writing much shorter updates in the form of newspaper articles and see if that helps. If by the end of this season I still feel ehhh about it, I might formally end it <3
Driftwood - no complaints about this hood, I'll probably continue with the current style of documenting major events & new builds only
Spruceburg (YouTube series) - I would like to do another season of this next year, after I finish the uberhood challenge! But I will probably go for a schedule of like, one season of series per year, rather than posting consistantly. I enjoy YouTube a lot, but its a lot of work too and I think has majorly taken away from my blogging time this year, which I am mourning now lol!!
The Fiero Legacy - it is probably time to throw in the towel with this and admit I just don't enjoy playing legacy style or with story progression that much! I always enjoy the period where the heir is dating but once they settle down and have kids it becomes a chore and a grind, plus with story progression's time system I always feel rushed and like I can't take a sim out of the house for an outing without potentially missing important milestones - the urban setting feels so wasted when its all family gameplay, haha. Hallie should be at the club!! It was an interesting experiment and a nice change of pace, but idk if I really see myself returning to it. I love the sims themselves and the setting, but whenever I actually load up the neighbourhood I just feel kinda stressed and overwhelmed :(
As for my building projects like Belladonna Cove, perhaps at some point I will get really inspired and return to them but for now they are on indefinite break. I remember saying a few time in the past that I didn't really feel much need to make over Pleasantview and Strangetown because if I wanted nice makoevers I would use frottanas, and tbh I feel the same way about Belladonna Cove - if I was playing it I would just use plumbtales makeovers XD With my past neighbourhood makeovers I was really inspired to make them because there wasn't anything out there that was exactly what I wanted but, well, there's loooooads of nice Belladonna cove makeovers these days so I just don't feel much drive to make my own version I guess?? I think I also have lost interest in building a little becasue I am no longer into super heavily decorated lots - I prefer lighter lots that won't cause lag lol! So yeah, I am probably not retiring from building forever but its no longer a priority for me :)
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kathlare · 1 day ago
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everything as it should be
Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman
Summary: Amelie's tour comes to a triumphant end in Los Angeles, a night filled with celebration, nostalgia, and personal reflection. With Lando by her side, their connection deepens as they navigate the complexities of their demanding lives and rekindle the bond that once felt fragile. Through quiet moments and heartfelt conversations, they affirm their love for one another, finding comfort and strength in their shared journey while overlooking the glowing city that symbolizes both their chaos and calm.
Wordcount: 2.5 k
Warnings: fluff, smau
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November 18th, 2024 - Los Angeles, CA
The night was a whirlwind of lights, music, and flashing cameras as the final notes of Amelie’s set reverberated through the KIA Forum. The North American leg of her Short n' Sweet tour had come to an end. She stood on stage, the cheers of thousands of fans still ringing in her ears as she waved to the crowd. Her heart pounded, a mixture of excitement, exhaustion, and a sense of bittersweet finality settling in. The tour was over for now, but the memories, the highs and lows, the connections she'd made with her crew, fans, and family, would stay with her forever.
Lando stood in the back, watching her with a proud smile. He’d been by her side for the last few shows, from Phoenix to Los Angeles, a welcome presence as her tour came to a close. For the past few days, they had fallen into a rhythm, a mix of flirty banter, quiet moments, and the unspoken understanding that their relationship was something more than just two people casually dating. They had history, a friendship that turned into something more after a rocky past. And now, here they were, together again, this time for real.
As the crowd began to disperse, Amelie made her way offstage, her hair damp with sweat, her eyes sparkling with the afterglow of a successful show. She caught sight of Lando leaning against a pillar, a jean jacket draped casually over his shoulders. He held a bouquet of yellow tulips in one hand, a cheeky grin spreading across his face when he saw her approach.
—Aww, are those for me?— Amelie teased, her eyes lighting up as she looked at the flowers.
—Of course,— Lando replied with a wink, offering the bouquet to her. —Wouldn’t be a proper night without them, would it?—
Amelie accepted the flowers, inhaling their sweet fragrance as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. —You’re the best,— she murmured, her voice soft.
—You’re the best,— he countered, placing a kiss on the top of her head as he pulled her into a hug. —Did I make you proud out there?—
She pulled back slightly, eyes sparkling. —Always. You were amazing.—
He smiled, but there was a hint of playfulness in his gaze. —You were the one who got the crowd screaming, Ames. I just showed up and stood there.—
Amelie laughed, rolling her eyes. —You and your modesty.— She wrapped an arm around his waist, leaning into him as they walked toward the exit. —What do you say we go to that after-party? I’m in the mood to get a little tipsy and celebrate.—
Lando’s eyes lit up. —You know I’m always down for that.—
The after-party was at a cozy bar in downtown Los Angeles, filled with the buzz of the tour crew, her family, and a few close friends. Music thumped in the background, and the energy was electric. Lando and Amelie were already a little tipsy, their laughter and teasing creating a bubble around them as they made their way through the crowd.
Amelie found herself standing close to Lando, their hands occasionally brushing against each other, a touch here, a lingering glance there. There was something intoxicating about the way they were together—so comfortable, so in sync. She could feel the tension in the air, the silent acknowledgment of the chemistry between them that had only grown since they’d reunited.
—Remember when we used to sneak around?— Amelie asked, leaning in slightly, her voice low and teasing.
Lando’s lips curved into a mischievous smile. —How could I forget? The whole ‘nobody knows we’re dating’ thing was a lot of fun.—
Amelie chuckled. —Yeah, until we were both miserable and avoided talking to each other for a year.—
—That wasn’t fun,— he agreed, his expression softening. —But I’m glad we fixed things, Ames. This— he gestured between them —this is worth the wait.—
—Mm,— she agreed, her eyes locking onto his. —I’m glad too. But…— She hesitated for a moment, a flicker of doubt crossing her face. —Are you sure about this? About us?—
Lando raised an eyebrow, his expression serious for a moment. —You know I am, Ames. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.— He took a step closer, his hand brushing the side of her arm. —Are you sure?—
She smiled, leaning up to kiss him lightly on the lips. —Yeah. I’m sure.— Her eyes softened, and she let out a quiet laugh. —Just making sure we’re on the same page.—
—You and me, always on the same page,— Lando murmured, kissing her forehead as they moved to the bar to grab a drink.
As the night wore on, the crowd at the bar grew rowdier, and Amelie found herself a little tipsier than she had anticipated. She leaned into Lando, her hand resting on his chest as she glanced at him mischievously.
—Let’s leave this place,— she said, her voice playful. —I don’t want to stay here any longer.—
Lando raised an eyebrow, intrigued. —Where do you want to go, then?—
—Somewhere quiet,— she said, tugging at his arm. —Let’s go to the Hollywood sign. There’s a viewpoint where you can see all of LA. I want to talk. Just you and me.—
Lando looked at her, his expression softening. —Alright. Let’s go.—
They slipped out of the bar, quietly making their way to the car. The drive to the Hollywood sign viewpoint was filled with easy conversation and laughter, but as they reached the spot, the world around them quieted. The city lights of Los Angeles twinkled beneath them, the vast expanse of the city stretching out into the horizon.
Amelie leaned against the railing, her hands gripping it tightly as she gazed out at the city. —It’s beautiful,— she murmured, her voice soft.
Lando stood beside her, his hand brushing against hers. —Yeah, it is,— he agreed, his tone serious. —It’s nice to get away from the chaos every now and then.—
Amelie looked at him, her eyes searching his face. —How are you feeling, Lan? With the championship and everything. You’ve got the Las Vegas race coming up, and Max is ahead again. That’s gotta be eating you alive.—
Lando exhaled slowly, his gaze distant as he looked out over the city. —Yeah, it’s tough. I’m giving it everything I’ve got, but sometimes I wonder if it’s enough. I’m fighting for something that feels just out of reach, and it’s hard not to think about what happens if I don’t win.—
Amelie reached over, gently placing her hand on his arm. —You’re doing everything you can, Lan. You’ve already come so far. You’ve made it this far for a reason. And even if it doesn’t happen this year, you’re still incredible. You know that, right?—
Lando looked down at her hand on his arm, then met her gaze. There was an almost imperceptible vulnerability in his eyes. He gave a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. —I know you think that, but it doesn’t stop the pressure. It doesn’t stop the feeling that I’m not enough, no matter how hard I try. Max is just... untouchable this season. It’s frustrating. You fight, you race, you put everything into it, but it still doesn’t feel like it’s ever quite enough, you know?—
Amelie nodded, her heart aching for him. She had seen him so focused, so determined, but she knew that self-doubt crept in, especially when things didn’t go as planned. She had her own battles, her own insecurities, but Lando was always so strong, so confident in everything he did. Seeing him like this made her want to shield him from the weight he carried.
—You don’t have to do it all alone, Lan,— she said softly, her fingers brushing gently against his arm. —You’ve got your team, your fans, and me. We all believe in you, and honestly? We all know how damn good you are. Whether you win this championship or not, you’ve already proven more than anyone ever expected. You’re not just a good driver; you’re one of the best. That’s what matters. You’re enough just as you are.—
Lando turned to face her fully now, his gaze intense. —I wish I could believe that, Ames. I really do. But with every race, I just feel like I’m not there yet. And then there’s all the noise, people doubting, the haters online. It gets under your skin, no matter how much you try to block it out. Every little mistake is magnified, every slip-up a potential disaster. And all I can think about is the feeling of losing again. I don’t know if I can handle that. Not after everything I’ve put into this season.—
Amelie reached up and cupped his face gently, forcing him to look her in the eye. —Listen to me, Lando. You’re not defined by the things you can’t control. You’re defined by how hard you fight. You’ve been through so much already. That drive, that passion, that’s what makes you incredible. The championship? It’s a result, not your worth. And as for the haters? Fuck them. You’ve got people who love you for who you are, for the person you’ve always been. No one else matters.—
Lando exhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a moment as he leaned into her touch. When he opened his eyes again, they were softer, more at ease. —You really are amazing, you know that? You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.—
Amelie chuckled, lowering her hand. —It’s because I know you, Lan. I’ve always known you. And it’s not just me. You’ve got this. I’ve seen the way you race, the way you never give up. You’re going to be okay, no matter what happens. And hey, you’re still young. The championship will come for you. I’m sure of it.—
Lando smiled, a genuine, warm smile that reached his eyes this time. He reached out to take her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. —You always know how to pull me out of my own head. It’s like your superpower or something.—
Amelie laughed, the sound light and musical against the quiet backdrop of the night. —Well, someone has to keep you grounded, Mr. Formula 1 Superstar.— She nudged him playfully, her grin infectious.
—Oh, don’t start with that,— he groaned, his accent softening the words. —I get enough of that from everyone else.—
They both fell into a comfortable silence, staring out at the city. The lights of Los Angeles twinkled below, a sea of gold and silver that seemed endless. The moment felt intimate, the kind of quiet that didn’t demand words but carried a weight of understanding between them.
After a few minutes, Amelie spoke again, her voice quieter this time. —Can I tell you something?—
Lando glanced at her, his expression attentive. —Of course.—
She hesitated, chewing her bottom lip before continuing. —Sometimes, I feel like I’m not enough either. With my music, with the expectations people have of me... even with us. Like, I’m always trying to prove something, and no matter how much I do, it never feels like it’s enough.—
Lando’s grip on her hand tightened slightly, a comforting gesture. —Ames, you’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met. Your music means so much to so many people. You’ve built something incredible, something real. And with us...— He paused, searching for the right words. —You don’t have to prove anything. You’re more than enough. You always have been.—
She looked at him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. —Sometimes I worry that I’m too much for you. That my life, my schedule, my everything... that it’s too much for us to handle. And I know we’ve been through so much already, but it still scares me.—
Lando stepped closer, his free hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from her face. —Hey, listen to me. You’re not too much. If anything, you’re everything I want. Yeah, your life is crazy, and so is mine. But we’ve figured it out before, and we’ll keep figuring it out. I’m not going anywhere, Ames. I’m in this. With you. For you.—
Her breath hitched, and she let out a small, watery laugh. —You always know exactly what to say.—
—It’s because I mean it,— he said softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest as she took a deep breath. —I love you, you know that?—
Lando froze for a moment before his arms tightened around her. —I love you too, Ames. Always have.—
She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a teasing smile. —Even when I was ignoring you and being a pain in the ass?—
He laughed, the sound echoing through the quiet night. —Especially then. You’re my pain in the ass, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.—
Amelie rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her grin. —You’re impossible.—
—And you’re stuck with me,— he shot back, his smile playful.
They stood there for a while longer, the city below them and the stars above, wrapped in their own little world. They shared stories, laughed at old memories, and teased each other relentlessly. It felt easy, natural, like they were just two people who had found their way back to each other after everything.
When the chill of the night began to settle in, Lando draped his jacket over her shoulders, pulling her close as they made their way back to the car.
—So, the Hollywood sign, huh?— Lando said, glancing at her with a smirk as they climbed in.
—It’s romantic, isn’t it?— Amelie shot back, her tone mock-defensive.
—It’s definitely something,— he teased, starting the car.
She stuck her middle finger out at him, her laughter filling the car as they drove back toward the city.
And as they made their way through the quiet streets of Los Angeles, hands intertwined, hearts full, Amelie couldn’t help but feel that, for the first time in a long time, everything was exactly as it should be.
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liked by stelladayman, arianagrande, and others
ameliedayman: That’s a wrap on the North American leg of the Short n’ Sweet tour!!!!! I have always dreamt of bringing this tour to life but it was even better than i could have imagined because of every crowd that showed up and gave 100% of their energy and time. best dressed crowds on the market. funniest signs l’ve ever seen. every lyric and background vocal sung to perfection. i could not ask for better fans💞i love you so so dearly
thank you to my hard working cast and crew that makes this show what it is. the attention to detail, the professionalism, and each and every personality on and off stage is what makes the SNS show so special.
cry because it’s over for now... but we can’t wait to see you in the new year Europe 💋💋💋
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landonorris: Can confirm: best dressed crowd because the star of the show is the best dressed. Also, you’re hot. → ameliedayman: @landonorris Someone’s trying to distract me. Save it for later, Lan. 😏 → georgerussell63: @landonorris Bro, we’re all blushing. Chill. → alex_albon: @georgerussell63 Speak for yourself. I’m inspired.
claudiasulewski: I see why everyone’s obsessed. You’re magic, Amelie 🌟 → ameliedayman: @claudiasulewski Claudia! Your kind words = my entire week made 🫶
f1stanpage: OKAY BUT THE WAY SHE'S TAKING OVER THE WORLD RN 🫶
amelieupdates: ICONIC doesn’t even cover it. North America was blessed 🫶 → ameliefanpage: @amelieuodates Europe’s turn. Y’all better scream loud for our girl 💋
hayesgrier: Crying bc I didn’t get to see a show, but living through these pics 😭 → ameliedayman: @hayesgrier There’s always Europe… front row? 👀 → landonorris: @ameliedayman Save the front row for me, baby. Hayes can watch from the back. 😏
minniemills: YOU WERE EVERYTHING. The vocals, the fits, the VIBES. Obsessed, truly. 🫶 → ameliedayman: @minniemills Minnie, I love you more than life. Let me know when we’re brunching again.
emiliamernes: Esto fue arte puro, Amelie. Europa no sabe lo que le espera 😍💃🏼 → ameliedayman: @emiliamernes ¡Gracias, bella! Nos vemos pronto, espero 💋
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abysshare · 2 days ago
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Wow..i saw the leaks and just. Wow.
I was hoping they were fake and its everything i hate in a series. I was biting my tongue until i saw the episodes but here we are.
Before i go into spoilers i do want to say that i AM grateful that we even got anymore of Arcane, but sometimes less is more.
Spoilers underneath
Edit: these are kinda messy thoughts.
My biggest gripes:
Too many plot points for a finale
Family trade in ( Bio sister for found sister for bio sister again )
Vander dying, Alive but fucked up, okay, fucked up again, dead, alive but fucked up, dead.
Not bringing up Isha at all??? Not even a quick funeral?
People being brought back to life but Isha and Jinx has to die.
Jinx has to sacrifice herself to save Vi and herself. 😒
The SEX scene.
Better explaination:
Too many Plot points:
I knew it was gonna be too many. I KNOW we needed answers/resolved plots, as well as needing things to make sense. But it.. was too much. Like most media at this point.
Family Trade In:
So... no one really talks about this trope? Or whatever you want to call it. But it bugs me, so much. If you don't know what I'm talking about..
To me a family trade in is when a Character, no matter their role, has family, turns evil or gets lost and finds a family of their own, and then when it seems perfect for them, they end up back with their original family because the new family died for them/their old family or they just.. don't belong/want to go.
Perfect example that isn't Arcane: Amphibia. Anne has to leave her adoptive found family from another universe and can never go back ( until she dies basically ). As well as her friends have to leave their found families as well and also cannot go back. Anne loves both her families..
And while i understand life isn't fair, and that people are allowed to not want to stay here or there.. it just bugs me the trope is to always trade back in for the old.
With Jinx, she "loses" Vi ( and yes Silco but it isn't about him right now ), And gets Isha. I KNEW the second i saw her she was gonna die ( this isn't a bash against those who didn't see it coming ( /genuine ) at some point. While i adore Isha and i am fine with Jinx adopting her, i am not okay with the writers choice of adding her just to kill her and be practically a trade in for Vi later on.
It sucks. I'll just say it out right.
And i want to be very clear. By trade in i do NOT mean replace. I know Isha was never a replacement for Vi ( or Powder ).
Again, i know life sucks, and you just don't get everything you want in this world, especially when it comes to war. But since this is a trope or at least a thing i see constantly, whether its in a pg way or an R rated way... its annoying.
Which brings me to....
People dying / Jinx / Vander:
Why? Other than shock value?
Jinx Dies, and it felts uncomfortable to me as a Psychotic/Schizospec person like her. She should have lived, she should have been able to find her own happiness after properly grieving Isha.
Isha Dies, happy to do so for her big sister(s), but like.. it ends up not being worth it. It both does and doesn't. She saved them time but then-
Vander. Vander is killed, then brought back to life in a fucked up way, then okay for awhile, then fucked up again, then dies ( by Isha ) and then is fucked up again and alive, and then dead.......... and then fucked up and alive again! And then dies, with Jinx!
It doesn't feel satisfying. Of course that one moment was very sweet and worth it. But oh my god? Why do it at all if you're just gonna kill and reanimate him again and again. Its not shocking its annoying by the third time and a joke by the fourth.
Viktor.. Same deal with him? And I'm not even clear if he is dead or just fucked off to space-time with Jayce, but still. It wasn't shocking anymore. Or thrilling. Just like "ah. Okay. Cool mask".
Heimerdinger... when i read the leaks i thought he was gonna die. Then i was watching and thought "oh no okay, he's gonna stay in that universe. Thats nice he deserves that". Nope. He's either also dead or also in space time. I just sighed really hard rather than be sad.
And finally.. The Doctor's daughter gets to live- AND HIMSELF- even he gets a happy ending? Over Jinx or Vi? What.. i mean yes Vi gets Caitlyn , but.. ? Ugh
The Sex scene:
I'm glad for Sapphic rep i really really am. I like Caitvi a lot as well. But this didn't feel comfortable for me. Not because it was an intimate moment, but because neither of them talked things out properly. On top of that it was really random.
Vi was upset, then suddenly horny for i guess.. make up or grief sex? Or both? And Cait was obviously fine with it, but then to suddenly try and talk about Maddie. I'm glad Vi wasn't the typical ">:( you fucked someone else while i was hurting?!" It was so... random. This is why they needed to talk before hand. At LEAST say it before getting into it.
And doing it in Jinx's cell? It feels so.. weird and wrong in a way? I don't know how to describe it.
TLDR: what in the five marvel hells was that other than visuals pretty
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kittenfangirl20 · 2 days ago
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⚠️content warning mentions abuse and sa⚠️
Charlie: I just found out that Vaggie was an Exorcist and I forgave her even though she killed many of my people.
*Lucifer looked down*
Lucifer: I could try.
*Lucifer walked out and saw Adam talking to the Sinners, it didn’t surprise him that he was getting along with them, they were his family, all Sinners and Winners were descendants of Adam*
Lucifer: May I talk with you.
*Adam stood up looking guarded, they walked off to the kitchen*
Lucifer: Charlie said that she found out Lilith lied to me about you and I wanted to say I am very sorry.
Adam: Is that it?
Lucifer: I don’t know what else to do.
Adam: Saying that you are sorry is nice, but that doesn’t change the fact that she used to beat me and I would cry for you to save me. Then she would wait until I slept and tied me up with vines and the forced herself upon me. I could deal with that if you saved me, but you sided with her, you broke my heart.
*Adam broke down sobbing as he ran to room, once in there he fell on his bed, this is the second in less than a day he broke down like this, he heard a portal open and Lucifer gather him in his arms*
Adam: I should have been Charlie’s mother.
*he didn’t expect Lucifer to give the response he did*
Lucifer: You’re right.
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
(Matchmaker Charlie AU)
*Charlie woke up confused, instead of in her bed with Vaggie, she was laying on the softest grass she felt, it even put her bed to shame when it came to softness*
?: Are you alright? Are you an angel, you must be a new one since I haven’t met you before, but you look like an angel.
*Charlie sat up and was in awe of the beauty around her, also the voice she heard sounded familiar to her, she looked up and saw a man sitting on a tree branch, the only word she could use to describe this man was beautiful, he had lightly tanned skin, short hair the color of milk chocolate, and brown eyes with a hint of honey gold to them, the most shocking was that this man was very much naked, in fact he had no shame in showing off his dick that would be quite impressive though Charlie hadn’t seen many dicks to compare*
Charlie: Wait, who are you?
*the man giggled cutely*
?: Don’t you know who I am, I am Adam the first human man.
*Charlie then remembered the same voice sounding more arrogant saying “Do you know who I am, I’m fucking Adam” but this was nothing like the man she met at Heaven’s Embassy, in fact he wasn’t even like the man that was described in the book her mom wrote about the origins of Hell, Adam jumped down from the tree looking her over in a very innocent manner*
Adam: You look like an Archangel Luci.
Charlie: Luci?
Adam: Luci is the best, in fact he should be here soon. I can take you to meet him. I forgot to ask what your name is.
Charlie: My name is Charlie, it’s nice to meet you Adam.
*she held her hand out to Adam and he shook with such a friendly smile, Charlie wondered when Adam would start acting like how her mother had described her, he took her hand and they walked through what Charlie realized was Eden, there was actually something endearing about Adam, just then they stopped at a pond with the cutest little ducks she had ever seen, she knew that her father probably would have loved a place like this, Adam then got a smile as he looked up*
Adam: Luci!!!!
*Charlie looked up and gasped, it was her father, Lucifer Morningstar when he was an angel of Heaven, she looked over at Adam and realization hit her*
Charlie internally: Adam was in love with my dad.
She watched as Adam ran over to her father Luicfer and they hugged each other, Lucifer even spun him around a little bit.
Lucifer: Addie! It's so good to see you dove.
Charlie was so shocked by the affectionate nickname and how Adam flushed pink. They looked at each other like they were the most perfect beings in the universe.
Adam: Oh, you just have to meet the new angel her name is Charlie!
Lucifer looked puzzled, new angel? Surely he would have heard if his father made a new angel. He looked over to her and was shocked, this girl was very pretty but she didn't look angelic. She actually looked like a female version of himself with red and yellow eyes.
How odd.
Lucifer smiled and held out his hand: Nice to meet you Charlie.
Charlie shook his hand: Hi da-.... Lucifer. It's nice to meet you.
Adam ran over and picked up a duckling and held it up for both Lucifer and Charlie, his smile wide and innocent.
Adam: Look! They just had babies, aren't they just the sweetest?
Lucifer: Yes! Do you remember your purpose Adam? To eventually have babies of your own?
Adam nodded, his smile was shy and Charlie didn't miss the way his hand went to his belly as if he were the one that wanted to carry the baby.
Adam knew he had to have kids at some point but he wanted them with Lucifer so badly, he didn't think Lilith liked him very much and he didn't know why.
Charlie could see the shy looks they were giving each other. Did her dad.... Love Adam back?
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thriftdyke · 1 year ago
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#the sun went down at 4 pm and I am once again having an existential crisis#I went to a bookstore and saw stupid romance book covers and started thinking about how I’m probably gonna ‘die alone’#whatever the fuck that means#I don’t KNOW okay I don’t know if I’m aromantic or just too traumatized and avoidant to be capable of intimacy. but I have no friends and#I’m lonely as fuck#and I don’t want to date but I want someone to be committed to me and I want someone to fuck but I don’t trust people and I#am pretty sure if I fucked someone I would burst into tears bc of how long its been since I’ve been touched#I want a family. like that is one thing I know for sure I don’t know exactly what that even means or looks like#but I want a FAMILY. and not the one I was born with#I don’t mean kids I mwan commitment and fucking. People#and the universe is not on my fucking side girl. she’s not I don’t care what you say#I thought I had a found family in college and look where that is now. dust#and I’m 25 years old#and I’m missing so many milestones#and maybe it doesn’t matter maybe dating and fucking do not give you worth yeah yeah okay#but this is not the life I thought I would have at this age. and I feel like I should be entitled to grieve that#not like I want to. I want to be normal and I want to be over it.#to be perfectly fucking honest. I wish I could wake up tomorrow#and fall in love with someone and have a boring normal happily ever after.#I wish I could be the person who’s capable of that and I know that’s a naive and childish and unwoke desire to have#but I’m just being so real with you chief. I do not know how to live in this world being who I am.#and I don’t want to fucking be alone.#not because it makes me less worthy but because I’m just fucking sick of being lonely. okay.#anyway. I’m probably deleting this#p
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rosicheeks · 8 months ago
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
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dagbert-endless · 3 months ago
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The sisters and Eric didn't leave WITH the Tilpins, but they both left, so it's very possible they met up again outside of the city.
Found Family between them would be so interesting. I hope that's what happens. Can you imagine
What do you mean we don’t know what happened to Eric. What do you mean
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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I am once again asking why everything I do leads to me having the weirdest problem ever known to man
#am i being tested by god. is that what it is. because sir i am not one of your strongest soldiers. i’ll lob my phone into a volcano#and move into the forest. and if anything crazy happens in the forest i’ll just [redacted]#like all i did was send off my dna to be tested for no good reason and now i’ve found a half brother i didn’t know about#and he’s respecting my wish to not contact our other siblings until i’ve told them he exists#(because i don’t know how they’ll react considering one of them’s mom got fucking cheated on by our dad)#and i am just sitting here like. SHOULD i tell them. WHEN should i tell them. HOW should i tell them#i feel like this isn’t a facebook message type of situation but considering i don’t know where either of them live or what their phone#numbers are because they don’t fucking communicate with me because we’re very LC; fb it’ll have to be#i haven’t spoken to my sister in 12 years or my brother in 2 though. so.#they’re not bad people or anything it’s just.. it’s difficult to know what to say to someone when you have a massive generational gap#and nothing in common apart from a man who is dead#i do feel like sooner or later i’ll have to tell them because i know if it were me i’d want to know#and it’s not like i’d be forcing them to use the information in any way#i’ll probably ask P (brand new half brother) for his consent first. he may not even want to speak to them#given that he’s had a million questions for me though; he probably will. it would be kind of nice if he’d bombard somebody else actually#but still. step one: get P’s consent to mention his existence to people. step 2: draft appropriate message#something like ‘hi [name]; i hope you and [family members i know of] are well. i just wanted to let you know i did a myheritage dna test#and i’ve found and contacted a man who i believe is our half brother. he was born in [year] in [town] and he looks just like our dad.#his name is [name]. we’ve compared notes and i’m almost certain he is our sibling. i realise you’ll have a lot of questions so please don’t#hesitate to ask me anything you’d like to know. he’s happy to be contacted by you through [profile link]. i realise this will be a big shock#but i thought you needed to know as i would want to know in your place’#and just. send and await the shitstorm#i don’t want to be doing thiiiis. but like. who else is going to do it#personal
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fish-and-forbear · 2 years ago
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I think I am doing okay, here.
I wish so many things could have been different. My heart aches for it. But I wouldn't have found my voice, otherwise, nor would I have met so many wonderful people and creatures.
I wish the other one would worry less. It's very silly to realize he thought I was the panicked one... now I've organized my mind and honed my edge, and he's the one who keeps feeling down...
I don't entirely understand why... life is very good. Everyone is getting a little better. It aches because I can feel it like a physical creature clawing in the skull, and whispering all of the misery in this world, the atrocities, the tragedies, the possibilities of so many things ending, or of getting hurt or worse for who he is. And being afraid for the people he cares about...
But that doesn't help us sleep right now. It doesn't change that tomorrow morning the sun will rise and we don't have work and we could do anything, within reason of course.
I'm not sure. Maybe I am the stupid one for being so positive. But one of us has to be, now.
Maybe it's just my instincts waking up again. It's so easy to throw my aching heart and memories away when someone I care about needs me. And right now, once more, we just need to rest.
Nothing bad is even happening! We had a nice day. We talked to friends, we played a game and lost track of time because it was so much fun. I liked that game and the name is appropriate, Loop Hero. Ironic but fitting! We helped a friend feel better after a nightmare. And now it's OUR turn to rest.
Nothing is wrong. Everything is alright. Many big steps forward this coming week. I feel his worry creeping into my heart too, but there's no need for it. We were brave and confident before, we can be that way again. :)
- Grist
#system journaling#see I can remember what words I need to use...! Sometimes.#I think I made him sad because my friends have their own blogs now and I immediately wanted to look at them#he let me but it just made him upset. But why? I chose to unfollow. He felt better after that. Why worry?#I am familiar and content with friendships between firey souls that do not last very long.#Better to rest them down gently. You should always leave friends at least a little bit better than you found them#If I did that then I am happy :)#I just wish he would believe me that it's alright... I know who I am... even if other people see me as a mistake that's fine#I've been around too long to care too much about that. Even from my own family. Trauma makes long bonds difficult#Sometimes when they are healed they can rekindle but..... foresight is a gift and a curse for these things. Better to let them go entirely#than hold onto what isn't there.#... I think he needs to talk to his friend again. The one that lives here.#I think he needs closure that these things are alright. After all that was 8 years and they are so much happier now :)#Hmm. This is getting long#I will let it rest. The heart is already a little softer and everything is less tense. His memory is AWFUL and he can never remember what I#talk about on my own but hopefully he will see that I am content and stop worrying so much about me. And focus more on better things#like making my damned music list like he keeps saying he will! But that is a joke to make him laugh :) There is never any rush.
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bunnis-monsters · 1 month ago
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Devoted
Yandere!Knight Elf x Princess!Reader
Bunni’s Monstertober
Oct 15th
Oct 14
Oct 16
summary: your knight is having scandalous thoughts about you…
warnings: dirty thoughts, nudity
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Devoted.
It’s what every knight was, devoted to those they protected, devoting their bodies, hearts, and souls to the royal family and their safety.
But for your knight… it was more than that.
He had spent years wandering the earth, despising human kind for the slaughter of his brethren. To him, humans were selfish and cruel creatures that cared not for nature or other beings, only for their own personal gain.
That was… until he met you.
He had been starving to death, an intentional choice on his behalf. The world had rejected him, taken away all of his loved ones and left him to be all alone, with no one to share his long life with.
When a carriage passed by the tree he leaned against, the place he had picked for his final rest, he hadn’t been expecting a woman to jump out and run in his direction, lifting his chin and pouring cool water down his parched, dry throat.
“Gods, you’re skin and bones. Are you alright..? No, of course you aren’t…”
Within moments, you were flanked by several men in armor, men he would later come to know as royal knights.
“Princess, please return to the carriage. It is not wise to interact with… beings such as himself.”
You shot the knight a look and he quickly backed down. “If I were to ignore a dying man when I am able to help, who am I to call myself a princess of the people?”
The elf attempted to pull his head away, but was both too weak… and too mesmerized by your beauty to do anything but let you feed and nurture him as he was taken back to the palace.
Over the next few days, he was taken care of thoroughly by the palace staff, his every need tended to.
He found out by listening in to the maids outside his room that you had ordered all of the palace to take care of him as if he were royalty himself.
You quickly scolded anyone that dared to even play with idea of discriminating against him due to him being an elf. It was… refreshing, and he felt strange hearing a human speak of him as if he were a person.
As he recovered, you visited him as much as your duties allowed, chatting with him and making sure he was being treated well.
He felt strange when he started looking forward to your visits, even wanting to recover faster so he could stay by your side at all times.
And he was able to achieve his dream by moving up the ranks as a knight, eventually becoming your personal guard. It wasn’t easy, the training was grueling and he was mistreated for being an elf…
But a year later he kneeled before you as your personal knight. He put the work on and climbed the ranks… all for you.
It didn’t take long for him to gain your trust. After all, you were a kind and fair princess. You didn’t judge him for being an elf, something he had never experienced before. He was your knight, and you believed in his strength.
And when he took over protecting you, he started to get a bit… greedy.
He didn’t like that other people got to see and touch you. They were filthy humans who only wanted to use and abuse you.
Even the maids helping you dress and bathe would coo soft compliments, saying how they adored their princess and wanted nothing more than to see you happy.
But he heard what they’d say in the hallways. He would hear their hateful words and gossip. They hated you for being royal, for having a better life than them,
They didn’t know you like he did.
Slowly, he began gathering evidence against each maid and butler, every single body guard and knight that attended you was either fired or executed.
No one should be able to be so close to you… no one but him.
It was late one night when he first saw your bare body. You were bathing, him standing by the door, facing it to guard you.
Having been pampered your entire life, you didn’t exactly know how to properly bathe yourself. Now that all your maids had been fired, you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
“C-could you… help me?”
The tips of his elf ears turned pink when he turned to see you leaning against the edge of the tub, your soft breast squished by the cool surface.
The mere sight of your plump form bare in front of him was enough to have his cock straining against his pants.
“Of course, my princess…”
He sat down on the edge of the bath, slowly easing the shampoo into your hair. After that was your body, and he steeled himself before moving forward.
Moving the washcloth against your soft flesh felt almost sinful. You were his princess, and yet he was touching forbidden territory. Although he tried his best to avert his eyes, he ended up catching sight of your pretty, fat pussy.
It looked so soft, and he could almost picture how cute you’d look all stretched out on his cock. How you’d moan for him to be gentle, burying your face into his neck.
He’d comply, giving you the tender lovemaking you deserved…
After your bath, he had to tuck you into bed before leaving the room to deal with his throbbing erection.
His princess… how he wanted to keep you pure and innocent… but his desires were overwhelming.
Perhaps he could use his elven beauty to woo you and take you away… after all, he could never have you while under that kingdom’s law.
Soon, you would be his…
Want more? My commissions are open, or you can send me a Kofi requesting more!
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NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat
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randompiggy · 1 month ago
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Cool so I get that a bunch of you don’t think Arabs are people or whatever, but if we could not say that a guy who is facilitating a genocide “has actually done a lot of good” and that a woman who has pledged publicly, multiple times, to continue the genocide would be a “legitimately good president” that would be great.
I’m sick to bastard death of people pretending that people don’t want to vote for Harris because they’re inflexible far-left anarchists who aren’t willing to compromise on political positions slightly to the right of theirs. Over 100’000 people have been killed in the last year. More bombs have been dropped on Gaza in the last year than the Blitz, the bombing of Dresden, and Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. Yesterday CNN published a piece about IDF soldiers running over hundreds of people with bulldozers, and the point of the piece was how traumatising it was for the soldiers, how they can’t eat meat anymore after mangling people into meat. There are death marches happening in Jabalia in the north of Gaza right now. People are being lined up, men and boys separated from the group, and brought to mass graves where they are killed or buried alive. Since more than 70% of civilian infrastructure in Gaza has been destroyed, Israel is just bombing people in tents now where they burn alive. The bombs killing people are American bombs, the money funding it is American money, the political cover that allows it to continue comes from American politicians.
I don’t know what it will take for people in the West to acknowledge the scale of what is happening. I don’t know if I have to share a steady stream of images of people’s mangled bodies, not able to rest even in death, I don’t know if I have to tell the stories of the Palestinians I know, of the children I know who escaped Gaza this year and are rehabilitating limb amputations, if I have to do thought experiments with you saying “pretend Beirut is New York and they are bombing outside JFK and Columbia Presbyterian”. If I have to explain that the number of children killed is not incidental but intentional. It is beyond exhausting to watch people be so flippant about the hell on earth that they are funding and electing. Vote for whoever the fuck you want, I get the stakes, but acknowledge the reality of what is going on, acknowledge the reality of your choices, acknowledge that you live in a country that is making you choose between complicity in genocide and complicity in genocide
I mean honestly I don’t hate Harris. or Biden, who has actually done a lot of good in the last four years especially considering the mess he had to clean up. but whatever gets the “my imaginary moral high ground is more important than peoples’ lives” fucks to vote.
#this breaks my no social media discourse rule but this was the first thing i saw when i woke up this morning#i know it’s shouting into a void and if people don’t care then nothing i say will get them to but#the death estimates are conservative from the lancet; 70’000 tonnes of bombs as of april comes from euro-med human rights monitor; harris#policy positions from cnn and cbs interviews and ny times piece from last week; jabalia information from gazan journalists and reuters;#civilian infrastructure damage from un ocha and world bank#i’m not interested in debating any of this; but if you’re looking for sources you’re welcome to ask#the most generous benefit of the doubt i can give you is that maybe the scale of horror is such that you turn off your brain and shut off#your heart to it; but you can’t. that’s genocide denial; and that’s denying the humanity of millions of people. i’m not asking you to hold#all of it; but acknowledge it#even i am struggling to acknowledge and communicate the horror of it. i instinctively want to stay away from words like mutilation; i don't#want to relay the stories of people being amputated without anaesthesia; the reports from western doctors about the number of children shot#in the head by snipers#i don't want to have to justify people's humanity to you; try to help you relate to them; tell you about a doctor named bisan who loved#anne with an e who died 3 weeks into the genocide; about bts fan cards found in apartment rubble; about alshaima akram saidam who graduated#in 2023 with the highest high school standard exam scores in the country; about the dedication that takes; the love it takes to help#someone achieve that; the sacrifice from her and those around her. all to help her become something; to honour her potential; with hopes of#some bright future for her. how she and her family were killed at nuseirat refugee camp two weeks into the genocide#about mohammed abu al-qumsan who went to register the births of his newborn twins; and returned to find them; his wife; and mother-in-law#killed by an israeli airstrike#about ambulances and aid workers killed in targeted strikes; journalists in press vests killed by snipers; flour massacres; water massacres#anyway; i'm not asking you to steep in the horror of it; i'm just asking you to acknowledge it; and to acknowledge those responsible#you should hate the people doing this; christ that should be the least of what you feel
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nerdvi · 1 year ago
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In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.
First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.
So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.
As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.
How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.
If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.
Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.
These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 5 months ago
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Can you do aemond x reader x cregan ?? Reader has a thing with aemond b4 the dance, but after aegon is crowned, she goes with jace to the winterfell and ends up with cregan ?? 🖤♥️
Request: Cregan smut pleaaaaase
A longer fic for Cregan is in the work (Jacaerys twin!Reader), but these take more time to write...so be patient
Warnings: 18+, smut, implied cheating (sort of), oral (f receiving) 
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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Cregan Stark wasn't immune to your charms. It didn’t take him long to fall under the spell of the Queen’s daughter, captivated by your breathtaking beauty and fierce determination. 
Since the day you and Jacaerys landed in Winterfell, you and the northern Lord had many occasions of getting physically closer, but Cregan refused to engage in anything with someone who was already promised to another. He didn’t want that kind of trouble. 
Yet, he found himself drawn to your presence, unable to deny the stirring of emotions you awakened within him whenever you were around. He felt drawn to you in a way he had never experienced before.
But control was more difficult when he had a few cups of wine at supper. 
Cregan stopped at the junction of the guest wing and his private quarters, the flickering torch lights casting shadows on the stone walls of Winterfell. ‘’I should not accompany you to your chamber tonight, Princess,’’ he said, his voice thick with restraint as you walked through the corridors.
‘’Why not?’’ you asked, raising an eyebrow as you stepped closer to him. ‘’You agreed on a cup of wine.’’
‘’I did. But I'm afraid I will not be able to resist to temptations if I am alone with you,’’ Cregan admitted, his gaze locking onto yours with a mix of desire and hesitation. ‘’And I cannot give in to such desires.’’ 
You chuckled softly, leaning against the cold stone wall and looking up at him with a mischievous glint in your eye. ‘’And what’s so wrong with a little temptation?’’ You paused for a moment, your gaze wandering over his tall frame, taking in his rugged features and muscular build. You bit your lower lip gently before continuing. ‘’Is the Lord of the North not allowed to indulge in pleasure?’’ 
Cregan's breath hitched as he struggled to keep his composure. ‘’I am allowed to indulge in pleasure, Princess. But you are already promised to another man,’’ he said, the long silver hair and black eyepatch of Aemond Targaryen flashing through his mind. ‘’Giving in to my desires would make my people question my honor toward others.’’
Your feelings for Aemond had once been true and pure, which led to your betrothal. It was also a good way to unite the families. A date had been set for your wedding and ravens had been sent through the realms announcing the big day, but your grandsire died and Aemond became a traitor to the crown. It didn’t surprise you that he stood by his brother’s side. Aemond had always been loyal to his family, it was part of who he was. What surprised you was the raven the Greens sent to Dragonstone to summon you to King’s Landing and bend the knee to their new King. 
Saying goodbye to the person you once loved was difficult, but you could not see yourself at the side of someone who supported the man who stole your mother’s throne. 
‘’Aemond Targaryen supports the usurper. Our betrothal is no more. I belong to no man,’’ you declared. 
Cregan leaned closer to you, his body only a few inches apart from yours. His eyes roamed over your features, lingering on your lips before returning to meet your gaze. ‘’Does he know?’’ he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.
You slid your hand up the thick leather of his chest, feeling the warmth of him beneath your touch. ‘’Who I bed is no longer his concern.’’
Cregan held his breath as you touched him, holding back from pressing himself to you against the wall and crashing his lips on yours. ‘’Gods, Princess, you drive me mad with your words,’’ he confessed, his voice a low growl.
You pushed your teasing further, feeling his self-control about to snap. ‘’Are you afraid of taking a princess to bed, Lord Stark?’’ 
The control he had tried to maintain snapped. Your words and touch awakened something within him, igniting a fire that he could no longer keep at bay. A soft gasp left your lips as Cregan closed the distance between you, pressing you against the wall and kissing you. His strong hands found their way to your hips, gripping you tightly, and in one swift motion, he lifted you off the ground, pressing you firmly against the cold stone wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, both of you lost in the heat of the moment, forgetting you were in a corridor where anyone could walk by.
You moaned into his mouth as you felt his body pressed against yours and tangled one of your hands into his dark hair, your slender fingers running through it as you held onto his broad shoulder with the other. Cregan’s grip on your thigh was iron strong and possessive. 
He wanted you. 
He pushed his body even closer to yours, his lips leaving your mouth and trailing down your jawline, to your neck, where he began to nibble and kiss the sensitive skin there. You wanted to tear his clothes — and tear your clothes — and see if wolves treated their women better than dragons.
‘’I think we should take this to your chambers, Lord Stark. How scandalous would it be if anyone were to their Lord with the Dragon Princess?’’
The door echoed as it shut behind you. Without losing any time, Cregan pulled you in another kiss as he began to disrobe. You unbuckled your own cloak, letting it fall off your shoulders, and helped Cregan with the buckles of his leather doublet. Why were there so many? 
Once you were both out of your clothes, he carried you to his bed. Depositing you gently on the soft furs before joining you, pinning you beneath him. The fire in the hearth was keeping your naked body from shivering, and casting a soft glow on your skin. You felt the press of Cregan’s cock against your thigh, hard and warm, and reached for it, air catching in your throat at the size. 
The Northern Lord trailed kisses on your hot skin and moved further down your body until he was lying on his stomach, using his elbows to keep himself upright. He gently parted your legs, his fingers brushing over the inside of your thighs as he took in the beauty of your pretty pussy, his mouth watering for a taste. 
Cregan placed a kiss on your mound, smirking when he heard you gasp softly. His lips moved lower, and his eyes drinking in your every reaction, the soft sounds of pleasure escaping your lips making him even more determined to drive you wild with pleasure. He was going to show you how men kiss their women in the North. 
Soon, you were mess on the furs as he tongue licked and teased your pussy. Your legs were folded to expose you more, and Cregan kept a tight grip on your trembling thighs. Your back arched from the bed, accompanied by a loud whine as you reached down to grab his hair and guide his face closer to you. 
‘’Kessa! Lua doing bona!’’ (Yes! Keep doing that!) 
The High Valyrian words had spilled from your tongue without realizing. Although Cregan didn’t understand a single word, he assumed he was doing a good job and continued working skillfully with his mouth to bring you to the edge of madness.
He swiped his tongue over your swollen clit, relishing in the sounds he was drawing from you. He loved hearing the moans and gasps that escaped your lips, knowing that he was the one causing them. 
You rocked your hips into him, practically riding his face, and Cregan moaned, his cock twitching — and leaking — between his stomach and the furs. ‘’Needy, are we, Princess?’’ he teased, his voice low as he looked up at you through half-lidded eyes. 
Pulling on his hair again, you forced his mouth back on you. ‘’No more talking.’’
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale@mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron  @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08  @mymultiveres  @secretsthathauntus  @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl @darylandbethfanforever9 @darylandbethfanforever9 @aegonswife @dakotapaigelove @jays-bullshit
All and more taglist: @kenqki@hawkegfs@gillybear17@black-rose-29@fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade@mellabella101 @vxnity713  @bisexualgirlsblog@queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3   @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs  @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis  @katherinejess  @rafesgirlstuff   @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity  @Anouknani-2305 @books0fever @papichulo120627 @qardasngan @ghostlyvoidydragon @M0rgans1nterlud3 @dahlia-blossom21
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atrwriting · 1 year ago
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trust me -- billy the kid x barowner!reader
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hi everyone :) sorry I've been MIA — law school has been kicking my #ass but it's ok. I saw the new thg movie and while IAMNOTACORIOSNOWSTAN but I am a t*m bl*th and the man was so fine in this show. so fine. I've only seen like three fics for this man (maybe I just don't know how to search correctly thats probably my fault) but I was SEARCHING FOREVER and then I just got pissed because I couldn't find any so I wrote almost eight thousand words for this man that is how down bad I was
informal warnings: me. 1) I should be put on a leash 2) I use italics way too much 3) and whatever the fuck this "—" is 4) will i ever give up the female bar owner trope 5) will I ever stop tho? [vanilla ice voice] no, I don't know
as always, the actual warnings: smutty smut smut SMUT!, unprotected sex (1880's bby but you still gotta wrap it before you tap it), violence, guns, bit of gore but like the tiniest bit, virgin!reader, p in v sex, oral sex, bit of a dom!billy, bit of a bratty!sub!reader, overstimulation what can I say I should be put on a leash
anyway.... here's trust me:
when your father died… it was hard to be sad. he wasn’t very kind and he never seemed to like you very much… but in his will, being his only surviving kin, he left you money.
a lot of it.
and an old building.
the town it resided in was convenient in the way that many people that were passing through had to stop there. so what did you do? well, the only thing you could do — turn it into a restaurant and boarding house.
the money he left behind was used to fix up the place and pay your employees.
within a few weeks time, your place was up and running with very little vacancy. families and important people were always in your bar or comfortably in their rooms. never had you ever thought someone could be as lucky as you.
until one day. that day.
you worked alongside your employees but flipped between positions. sometimes you were a hostess, ran the front desk, a bartender, or anything else that needed tending to. in response, many people did not know you were the owner — and, therefore, some people treated you like you weren’t.
mainly gross old men, which you could handle. however, when a young, strong, and tall man challenged you?
that was dangerous. too dangerous.
even a fake wedding ring didn’t steer them away.
on that day, a young blacksmith had found his way into your bar. he was handsy with you much of the night, and you tried your best to steer him away. it wasn’t until you pulled a knife on him that he finally let up. it didn’t look like anyone saw, but still — you were scared and worried. would people think you classless, for pulling a knife on a patron? would they see you as weak? would they notice that the alcohol you served brought in too rowdy of a crowd? would they stop venturing in?
you thought no one noticed, and tried to convince yourself of that fact — but you were wrong.
when you were closing for the night, mostly everyone had left. a small group of men usually stayed until close — and you didn’t mind. they drank well, paid their tab, and were mostly quiet and polite. you didn’t know any of their names — but it was usually bad when you did know a patron’s name, so you liked them.
you had your back turned to the front of the bar, stacking bottles, when someone cleared their throat from behind you.
“ma’am?”
you turned around.
a tall, fair skinned man with a hat stood before you. his clothes were old and worn, and his fingernails reflected that he was a hard worker during the day. that type of exhaustion was also reflected in his eyes.
but, damn... his face? no one could deny that that man was handsome.
you smiled. “another drink, sir?”
“no. thank you.” he paused for a moment, keeping your gaze. “i wanted to check if you were alright.”
you immediately knew what he was talking about, but kept your face stoic. “yes, sir, thank you.”
he looked like he wanted to say something, but struggled with how to word it. “he usually a problem?”
you clenched your jaw. “he’s… he’s fine. too much drink, ‘s’all. gets the best of working men. can’t blame ‘em.” you swallowed, trying to keep your anxiety at bay. who was this man and why did he care? was he a friend of the man? “you sure there’s nothing i can’t get for you?”
“some wouldn't blame ‘em.” he ignored your question. his bright blue eyes held your gaze. “i would.”
you forced a tight lipped smile. with a laugh, you joked, “i’ll… be fine, sir. thank you. thought a fake wedding ring would do the trick… gotta think of something else now.”
he smiled, but in a sad way. “i was going to ask if your husband ever checked in on the place.”
“no husband,” you affirmed with a sigh. you introduced yourself, and then asked, “what’s your name?”
“william h. bonney, ma’am… but you can call me billy.”
“nice to meet you, billy,” you smiled. “and, please — don’t call me ma’am.”
“alright.” he returned your smile. “the men behind me… we run a sort of — security detail for part time work. if you ever wanted to hire us, we could have a man here when we can spare.”
you nodded, contemplating your offer. he explained the per diem, and you immediately agreed.
“if your man can keep this place safe with little bloodshed, i’ll even throw in a free bottle a day,” you countered.
and that was how your business with billy the kid and his men began.
the men that came along were usually polite and quiet, and mostly stayed at the edge of the bar. they watched for problems, and slowly but surely your fear had begun to subside. there was a minor scuffle one day, where a man had cracked a glass and cut you with it… but billy’s man had stopped him before he could do anything else. you didn’t hold it against billy’s guy — you cared about your business and if the business got bloody, not so much yourself.
billy, on the other hand… did not agree.
one day, bright and early, he parked himself at the middle of the bar where you stood behind the counter.
“rarely see you for detail,” you smiled, wiping down a glass. “much less this early. breakfast, mr. bonney?”
“billy, ma’am,” he responded. “breakfast does sound fine.”
you laughed. “i hate when you call me ma’am.”
“don’t much like it when you call me mister,” he quirked an eyebrow. billy was a rather emotionless and hard man, but you could tell he was joking.
you laughed again. “steak and eggs for billy, coming right up.”
the rest of the day went on peacefully, and you kept billy’s glass full. he was quiet and didn’t talk much, which you weren’t too keen about. he was mysterious, tall, dark and handsome — which was usually a bad combination. you knew it was, and you should’ve cared — but you didn’t.
as you were filling billy’s glass into the later hours of the afternoon, you finally bucked up the courage to ask him a question.
“so why did you stop in today?” you asked. “not that i mind. i just have only seen you when you come in at night.”
“we made a deal, sweetheart,” he responded. your eyes perked up at the nickname. you didn’t hate the nickname — but you hated yourself a wee bit for how much you liked hearing billy call you it. “the man i sent here was supposed to make sure he kept you from harm — he didn’t hold up his end on the deal.”
“it was kept quiet from the other patrons,” you responded. “that’s all i really care about. i’m a woman in the restaurant and boardinghouse business — stuff like that is bound to happen. no need to be hard on him.”
“you keep my men’s glasses too full for them to let slip ups like that happen,” he replied. “he knew better. should've acted better.”
“you’re the boss, billy,” you sighed with a smile. “i’m just the bartender.”
“damn good bartender at that,” he spoke. “too good.”
you giggled, and grew ashamed rather quickly at how much you enjoyed his company. you didn’t know him well, no… but damn, was it nice to have him around.
the rest of the night was rather quiet. a few families had stepped in and out, and a few meetings were being held where the tables sat. that was until the blacksmith that started this whole thing came in and sat himself only a stool away from billy.
you threw a look at billy, but he didn’t meet your eyes. his peripheral vision was already on the man. billy remembered him, and you couldn’t say fondly.
“whiskey, sweetheart,” he grunted. “leave the bottle.”
you sighed. a quiet day was going to turn into a rough night in a matter of a few moments.
“mr. martin, i can’t leave the bottle unless you settle your tab from the nights prior,” you answered. “i can get you a double and add it on, though, if that’s alright with you?”
“that’s not alright with me, girl,” he grunted again, glaring you down. “leave the damn bottle!”
you stood your ground. “there’s a bar across the street, mr. martin.”
“you don’t want my business, that it, sweetheart?”
“not much business if you don’t pay," you quipped.
through gritted teeth, he spat, “leave. the damn. bottle.”
“pay. the. tab.”
he went to catch you by the arm, but you were too quick. you anticipated his antics this time. you snatched an empty bottle, and broke the base of it in the sink. you put the broken, jagged edge of the neck of the bottle in between the two of you. your eyes were wild — you could feel it, and both men could definitely see it. startled, he drew back.
“this is the only bottle you’re getting with that attitude.”
that was when billy stood up and walked towards the man. the thuds of his boots, though few considering the short distance, were deafening in the mostly silent bar. you may have had a makeshift weapon, but billy? billy the kid? everyone knew what he had on him.
“time for you to leave, friend.”
the man laughed. “friend? who’s my friend to tell me when i need to leave?”
“the one who’s a quicker draw than you, that's who." his answer was slow and cool — too calm, which only made the shiver of a threat run up and down your spine faster.
the man, all talk, clenched his jaw as he stared at billy. he slapped the tab money on the top of the bar, and walked out.
you didn’t let out a sigh of relief until the man left.
but billy was the one that spoke first. “was going to step in immediately… but you held your own. they need to respect you before they’re scared of me.”
you laughed. “little does he know i’m all talk as well.”
“with that bottle?” he chuckled. “sweetheart, even i was scared.”
“you threatened him with a gun… i don’t think anything scares you, billy,” you asked. “thank you for stepping in.”
“‘s my job.”
“i know… but still,” you spoke.
you were continuing to close before he spoke again.
“what made you want to start this place?” he asked.
“my father passed a few moons before i opened this place,” you responded. “no parents, no husband — thought i might try this out.”
“my ma wanted to start a place like this,” he replied. “never got the chance.”
you nodded with a sad smile. “didn’t know her… but i think she’d be proud of how you handled that. don’t think he’ll be much trouble anymore.”
“she’d think i’m trouble with how full the lovely bartender keeps my glass,” he spoke, but looked like he instantly regretted it. “my apologies, i shouldn’t’ve — the whiskey —“
“you’re fine,” you laughed, your blush pinching your cheeks. as you walked away, you threw over your shoulder, “hopefully your ma wouldn’t mind that i keep her son’s glass full for his good work… nor that i think her son’s handsome.”
from that day forward, billy was always the man who sat at your bar.
he always greeted and made pleasant conversation with you, and glared at any man that got too aggressive with you. if looks could kill… billy would never need what he held in his holster.
you’d giggle to yourself after the creepy men would walk away. you’d never know… but when billy would hear your giggle afterwards, he’d smile, too.
but he kept that to himself.
however, slowly… he was becoming more comfortable with your company.
“so why didn’t you marry?” he one day asked randomly.
you were wiping down a glass when you got lost in the thought. “when there’s a nice one that’s interested… maybe. haven’t already because there aren’t very many nice ones. it was very convenient when you started keeping the bad ones away.”
to your dismay, he didn’t say anything in response.
but you had gotten comfortable with his company, too. too comfortable.
“and why isn’t there a mrs. bonney, billy?”
“she’d get jealous about how much time i spend with you,” he responded.
there was very little emotion in his voice, and you were afraid of reading into what he was saying. was he returning your flirtations? was he telling you that you were a drag? to answer your own question, you jokingly said, “well if i’m too much trouble, mr. bonney, you are more than welcome to have another one of your men step in.”
“well, ma’am —“ he began. “then i’d get jealous of how much time they were spending with you.”
you couldn’t hide the blush that rose into your cheeks. billy looked upon your face with a small smile tugging at his lips, and his gaze didn’t waver.
“keep talking like that, billy, and i’ll become trouble for you,” you raised an eyebrow at him.
“can’t say i’d mind much,” he responded, taking a sip of his glass, but holding eye contact with you.
if you weren’t frozen, you would’ve pulled yourself over the bar right then and then and planted yourself in his lap. you would’ve flung his glass to the floor, and wouldn’t have cleaned it up until you had kissed every inch of that man. you would’ve responded, but you couldn’t...
that was when billy’s men had stepped into the bar.
the air immediately darkened. the blonde one, named jesse, had led the pack as they stalked in. billy immediately flipped around to see what the problem was.
“sweetheart, give us a minute,” billy asked, calling over his shoulder.
billy never gave you orders, let alone in your own bar. however, if he was asking you to… you figured you should probably listen. you left the bar and went into the back. most of your employees had left for the night, so you helped the remaining ones clean up. it would be a few minutes or so before billy had come back into the kitchen to find you. you went back into the bar with him.
“i’ll be back before you close,” he spoke. “lock the doors.”
a second order. something he never did in the first place. something was wrong. you didn’t pry… you just scrunched your eyebrows in response.
“something’s up,” he spoke. he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before he turned to leave. “i’m takin’ care of it.”
there you stood, absolutely stunned. billy and his men left the bar with haste and didn’t look back. you, on the other hand, stood frozen… unable to leave the spot where you had billy the kid, known for his deadly skills, kiss you on the cheek.
you finally moved, reluctantly, but only to close up.
it would be close to an hour before billy finally came back. a few of his friends came with him, and they dragged in a man on their shoulder who was grunting in pain. blood was pouring from his leg, and you immediately went for the medical supplies you kept hidden under the counter. you grabbed two bottles of whiskey for good measure, arguably also a part of your makeshift kit.
“put him down on the table,” you gushed. his men were stunned to see you hustling, but they didn’t hesitate to rest their friend. you immediately took a look at the man’s leg, and were thankful to see that there would be no permanent damage. you shoved a bottle at jesse, and stated, “make him drink this.”
jesse had unscrewed the bottle and helped his friend drink before you fished out the bullet. thankfully no arteries were punctured, but it would be some time before he was good again. you cleaned up the man the best you could, and asked if any of the men needed anything.
“no, ma’am…” jesse responded. “we were going to bring him here and do it ourselves, your place was closest… so thank you.”
you smiled at him. “take the bottles. need it more than me.”
he tipped his hat to you.
“jesse,” billy began. “you and the boys head home.”
without question, jesse nodded. they helped their friend to his feet and left with a goodbye. even though they left, the unsettling feeling of the room hadn’t changed. billy seemed… different. heavier. he wasn’t the same man that had kissed you on the cheek before he had left.
you turned to him. “i won’t pry, but —“
“good,” he spat, turning to you. billy’s eyes bore into yours like you were one of the problem men at your bar. “don’t.”
a look of hurt flashed across your face. you could feel it. “you’re looking at me like i did something.”
“i told you to lock the door,” he spat again, his look of anger unwavering.
you had only seen billy's eyes that wide and that angry when there was someone being cruel to you. the thought made you shiver.
“how would you have gotten back in?” you asked.
“knocked,” he bit.
you narrowed your eyes at his curt response. “i had a feeling something was wrong. if i had waited to unlock, i couldn’t have gotten that bullet out as fast as i did.”
“doesn’t matter,” he bit. “how am i supposed to keep you safe if you won’t listen to me?”
you scrunched your brows together in confusion. “billy… whatever happened where you were, it wasn’t here. i could’ve gone to bed… but i stayed up. waiting for you.”
“and what if someone came in, huh? what then?” he hollered. “what would you have done then?! what would i have done if you had gotten hurt?”
you shook your head in disbelief. you couldn’t believe billy was speaking to you with such disdain. “with the way you’re talking to me, billy — sounds like you’re used to women who don’t pull knives on creepy men, hold broke bottles to their necks — or fish bullets out of legs when i don’t know why he was shot in the first place. you’re used to those kind of women, and have a problem with me? maybe you should go back to them.”
you immediately turned away from him, beginning to walk towards the bar. billy was hot on your heels when he reached out to grab your wrist and turned you around.
he grabbed both sides of your face and pressed his lips to yours.
you wanted to scream at him, throw fists at his chest, push him away — anything to let you know how he hurt you, how he wronged you... but you couldn't.
no. you couldn't.
you were so stunned you stood frozen in place as his lips moved against yours. you loosely held his wrists in your hands, and kissed him back.
“don’t want those girls, darlin’,” he spoke, breathless, in between kisses. “knew you were a real woman the first time i saw you. the kind that puts the fear of god into you, but looks at you with such a sweetness in her eyes that you can’t look away.”
“better believe it, bonney,” you spat, half joking. “you’ve seen how quick i am.”
“i know, darlin’, i know,” he whispered, kissing you once more. “i also know i was wrong to speak to you the way i did.”
“shut your damn mouth and kiss me,” you replied, pulling him closer to you.
“yes, ma’am,” he playfully responded, and you slapped his shoulder.
billy had backed you up against the wall and pressed his body towards yours. you stood on your toes to reach him, and even then he had to lean down a foot or two.
“billy…” you began, pulling away. “i’ve never… but if you wouldn’t think less of me, we could go upstairs. to my room.”
“i’d never think less of you,” he spoke, shaking off your comment. “but… what’d’ya mean, ‘never?’”
“i’ve never been with a man, billy,” you responded, suddenly embarrassed.
he was quiet for a moment, before stating, “you sure you want it to be with me?”
you nodded. “if… if you want to, that is.”
he didn’t respond to your statement, he just kissed you. he kissed you with every emotion you didn’t think he ever possessed — raw, hot, desperate emotion that held you close and tight to him. the heat and the intensity made your brain swim, but you could only care so much when billy the fucking kid wanted you.
he slipped an arm around your shoulders and then underneath your knees before he picked you up. you bit back a squeal before you threw your arms around his neck.
“light as a feather, sweetheart, don’t you worry,” he spoke.
“all that steak i been feeding you?” you joked.
“my belt can’t help it if my woman feeds me well,” he replied, almost at the top of the stairs.
“you’re a flirt,” you giggled.
you pointed him towards your room. once in, he laid you down on the bed and laid on top of you. his body was warm and sturdy over yours, and you couldn’t help but feel warm. his hips were pressed against yours, but you couldn’t feel him through your dress. you grew frustrated at the thought.
you made quick work to undue his shirt, and billy was quick to catch on. he pulled away to take off his shirt, and you tried to take off your corset with his help.
“damn death trap,” he spat, fussing.
you giggled. he was cute when he was flustered, but nothing compared to the way he was looking hungrily down at you. you were completely bare before him, and you should’ve been embarrassed… but shame wasn’t present in this moment. the only thing you registered was how billy looked down at you — with adoration in his eyes as they raked down your naked form.
“will you…” you began. “will you show me… how to please… you?”
“another time, sweetheart,” he spoke, stealing a quick kiss from you. “i need my head between those legs of yours.”
“you-you don’t have to —“ you spoke. “i know that’s not something — that boys —“
“yeah — boys.” billy snapped, glaring at you. “real men want to taste their women.”
that shut you right up.
billy wedged himself in between your thighs and spread your folds. it caused a sharp intake of breath on your part, but you didn’t realize what you were in for. billy flattened his tongue, and licked a long stripe up your slit. your teeth sank into your lip at the foreign feeling that cause so much warmth to make your veins twitch.
…but when billy’s nose had nudged a specific spot at the top of your slit — your legs jerked.
“what — what —“ you stammered.
“shh,” billy cooed, slightly laughing. “i forgot how sensitive you were. my apologies, sweetheart.”
you trusted billy, sure, but you had never felt anything like that before in your life. the jerking motion of your legs was involuntary and made you fearful. billy could see the fear written on your face.
“that spot that i touched, that you felt?” he asked.
his eyes were so wide and meaningful you felt like you could melt in them. you brought yourself up to your elbows and hummed in acknowledgement.
“that is the most sensitive part of a woman, and if i play it just right —“ ever so lightly, you felt his middle finger and ring finger touch the spot. you shivered at the feeling, but you didn’t flinch like last time. you held his gaze as the warmth began to spread inside you. “i can make you feel better than you’ve ever felt.”
billy bent over your body and held himself up with extended arm planted firmly by your side. he swiped the two fingers over his tongue to lubricate them, and brought them right back to where they were. you both watched his fingers play at the most sensitive part of you, and your lip began to quiver.
“look at me, sweetheart.”
your eyes glanced back up to him.
like you thought before, if angry looks could kill… anyone would die by just a look from billy the kid. however, what would they say about the way he’s looking at you now? with his plump lips parted, and his eyes wild and hungry? you didn't know... but you knew you would find out.
“y’trust me?” he asked.
you hummed in agreement, nodding.
“say it.”
you sharply inhaled, caught off guard by his order. “yes, billy — i trust you.”
instead of leaning back down to plunge his face in between your thighs, he kissed you. his lips connected with yours in one of the most dominating ways you ever thought a man could. with his hand playing between your thighs, he swallowed every moan and cry you struggled to keep hidden inside of you. billy was breathing hard against you — relishing in how it felt to have you so vulnerable and close to him.
that was when his fingers picked up speed.
and, god… did it feel damn good.
“b-billy,” you whimpered. “feels…”
“still trust me?”
“yes,” you cried, screwing your eyes shut. “yes, it’s just…”
he leaned his head down so his mouth was right by your ear. his breaths were hot against your ear, and you hummed at the feeling. your hand played with the curls at the nape of his neck, tugging at the roots.
“fuck — you takin’ what i’m givin’ to you, darlin’,” he rasped, then continued, “drives me insane.”
you could barely hear what he was saying, nor could you respond. your head was swimming with the weight of billy so close to your naked body, holding you down and safe, with those skilled fingers of his working you like you were a damn trigger. you were a whimpering, crying mess — and billy loved every second of it.
“something — feels —“
“d’ya want me to stop?” he asked, breathless.
“no,” you whimpered, confused how the warmth inside you felt like it was going, going, going. you didn’t know where it started, where it was going, and definitely didn’t know where it ended. you were worried that you were going to explode — but you didn’t understand. “something feels — like i’m — i’m going —“
“let it happen, sweetheart.” his kisses were wet and sloppy along the skin of your throat. he nipped at the skin, and that only sent you into more of a frenzy. “that’s right, darlin’. that’s it. trust me. i’ve got you.”
and that was it.
the thing — billy’s words, that sent you toppling over whatever metaphorical edge you could think of to describe it. it felt like white, hot sparks went off behind your closed eyelids and were going off on every nerve ending in your body. whimpers left your bitten lips like you were a babe, and your back arched off the bed. distantly, you could hear billy cooing with excitement, laughter… and praise.
a light sheen of sweat was on both of you, and billy had never looked better. his musk was wafting through the air and had completely taken over your senses. you felt like the only thing in the room was billy and the only thing in the world that mattered was billy. men got drunk off whiskey, but you? you got drunk off of that pure, unfiltered scent and look of a masculine man who showed you how to experience the pleasure of a woman you had never known.
“fuck…” you whimpered as you came down from your high. you tried pushing billy’s hand away, but you were so weak you didn’t think you could.
“sorry, darlin’,” he laughed, kissing your throat again. “got selfish. wanted to keep seeing that pretty look on your face.”
it was difficult for you to find words, let alone enough for an adequate response. “billy… that… that felt…”
“i’m gonna be trouble for you now.” he stole a kiss. “nothing better than seeing you below me, like that…”
“i want you to feel good, too,” you began. “please, billy? i wanna see you, too.”
his lips formed a tight line. “i don’t want it to hurt you.”
“first time doesn’t always hurt,” you spoke. “no one says the second time hurts.”
he smiled at that, and began to roll on top of you. you stopped him, and gestured for him to sit up against the headboard. he was hesitant at first, but he did it anyway. you hovered your hips above his before licking one of your palms and gliding it over the tip of his length. you stroked him a few times, and a soft moan left his lips at the feeling.
“i can keep going,” you spoke, throwing a sultry look up at him. “i want to make you feel good.”
“no, doll,” he rasped. “too selfish. need to see that pretty face of yours do what it does again.”
you pouted for a short moment before you lifted your hips above his length and began to sink down. you could feel a slick leaking from your folds, which made you feel better about actually getting him inside you.
“go slow,” he ordered suddenly. “you stop if it hurts, got it?”
you nodded, half ignoring him.
but it didn’t hurt.
the first inch didn’t hurt. the second didn’t. the third, the fourth, the fifth, sixth, — you lost count. billy was so big and filled you so nicely that you were so greedy with how you sank down into him. you couldn’t have cared less about what he said before about going slow — all you needed was to feel all of him completely.
“you didn’t listen —“ he grunted, slightly mad. “you’re so lucky you feel good, fuck — you’re so tight —“
“so what if i didn’t listen, mr. bonney?” you smiled coyly at him, a sudden bout of confidence coming over you. maybe it was the post orgasm glow, maybe it was the new feeling of having the most perfect man inside of you — you weren’t sure. “you feel — so good.”
“don’t get bold on me, sweetheart,” he smirked.
you didn’t listen. you picked up your pace, rocking your hips back and forth to what felt good inside of you.
billy’s cock liked that, sure — but he didn’t. you could see the mental turmoil on his face as his neglected cock was finally getting the attention it deserved, but his hothead person didn’t like that his girl was getting smart on him.
that was when billy flipped you over onto your back, much to your dismay. you liked putting on a show for him and doing all the work for a change.
“you wanna act like that, darlin’, huh?” he asked in your ear with a raspy, lust filled voice. “not gonna listen to me?”
“it just felt so good, billy, please —“ you were whining at this point, pissed he had taken away that feeling.
“oh, you’re a greedy thing, that right?” he taunted. “gets one fuckin’ taste, and now she can’t get enough?”
you shook your head, desperate for something — anything. “so greedy, baby. please, billy — please just fuck me.”
his hips snapped against you. hard.
maybe it should’ve hurt — but fucking christ, it didn’t. it felt so good to have his strong, forceful hips thrust against yours and hit that spot so deep inside of you.
“you like that?” he asked, taunting you. “that’s what my greedy girl wanted? — needed?”
his hips were relentlessly snapping against yours now as he hovered above you by holding himself up on his elbows. the sight of his broad and strong chest and shoulders… enough to make any woman weak. a firm crease was in his brow, signaling he was struggling to keep up his mean persona.
“yes — yes —“ you cried. “billy, you’re so deep — it feels — fuck, you can’t stop billy. please —“
“sweetest fuckin’ pussy,” he grunted. “squeezing me so tight.”
“right there — that’s the spot, baby,” you bit your lip to keep your voice down.
billy leaned his forehead against yours, and his exhales fanned against your face. little moans were escaping his lips as well, but nothing like yours. instead, he spat, “couldn’t let me be nice to you and fuck you sweet, huh? had to get smart on me?”
you could barely hear him. billy’s usual raspy, and commanding voice was enough to make anyone stand at attention — but now? now you were some cockdrunk whore who didn’t care how she got what she wanted, only that she did. his thrust were hard and fast, hitting a deep spot in you that was making that warmth swell up in you again.
“didn’t want sweet, billy,” you whimpered. “wanted you to use me just like this.”
you weren’t sure what came over you — and billy wasn’t sure either. his thrusts didn’t falter, but he couldn’t understand how the pretty, innocent looking bartender could be so fucking naughty — but only for him. a sense of pride had never welled up inside him like that before, knowing that he was the only one who got to see the prettiest girl in town keen for someone’s touch like this.
his touch. only his touch.
“gonna be the fuckin’ death of me,” he spat against your ear. “should’ve known you’d be such a good girl for me — taking my cock like this. can you cum around my cock like this? gonna be the best girl — and show me how that pussy tightens around me?”
the curse words billy drew from you were not your sunday best, but they made billy’s guttural groans against your throat and ear that much more enticing. you were both covered in sweat, spit, and slick — and nothing had ever felt better. you were close, so close — and all you wanted was to see him finish so you could see it for yourself.
“billy, i’m so close —“ you cried. “but i wanna —i wanna see you —“
“shhh,” he cooed. “gonna take what i give you, sweet girl.”
he sent a hand in between your bodies, and started playing with that spot that had made you explode the last time. you almost protested, but there was nothing like having a man buried so deep inside you do whatever he could to make sure you felt the best you could. you whined, you cried, you screamed, fuck — you did everything to let him know that you were close, billy, i’m so close, please, i’m begging, please don’t stop, and billy refused to look away from your beautiful face as you came undone below him once more.
with your beautiful hair fanned out around you, billy thought you looked ethereal as your second orgasm overtook you. there was something about the way your eyes fluttered softly closed, but broken gasps left your lips like you were so far gone in pleasure that you were lost in it. here, beneath him, before him, was a woman he had spent so much time protecting, so worried about her safety… all he wanted to do was make her feel good. when your limbs began to quiver, knowing you were so deep in your orgasm that you were at the peak, billy couldn’t help himself. he knew you were sensitive, he knew how it would be too much, he knew he shouldn't — but he had to. he was so, so selfish with his greedy girl.
his fingers kept spinning circles on your pink rosebud, and it was like the white light behind your eyes couldn’t stop. you were gasping for air — begging, pleading, hoping, wishing. it was so much. it was too much. it was everything and anything all at once, and you didn’t realize how far you were falling until tears leaked from your eyes.
he should've hated himself for making you feel so lost, but he didn't. not one bit.
“billy —“ you cried, shaking. “i’m so — so sensitive —“
he engulfed you into a long kiss, smiling smugly against your lips. you would’ve laughed with him, but you were so weak. so, so weak. he knew how sensitive you were, and stopped his movements completely. you didn’t realize he hadn’t finished with you until he began to pull out of you.
“billy — you didn’t —“
“s’alright, darlin’—“
“no, it’s not,” you said firmly. “teach me how to do — that thing.”
“that... thing?”
“with my mouth.”
he hesitated before shaking his head. “i don’t… tonight was a lot — for you.”
you narrowed your eyes at him. “boys don’t taste their women, right? men do?”
he scrunched his eyebrows together, confused, but nodded anyway.
“and what about real women, billy?” you asked. “you think they like leaving their men unsatisfied?”
his lips parted at a loss. he couldn’t argue with that, could he?
“sit on the edge of the bed,” you spoke, sliding out from under him and finding a place on the floor.
he hesitated, but he didn’t argue with that, either.
you tried to hide your smirk from him.
he'd never tell you he saw it. he also would never tell you he loved it.
"you gonna tell me what to do, or what, cowboy?" you smirked up at him, taunting.
he shook his head, and pursed his lips in a way that he knew you were in over your head. "you're acting bold. let's see if you got a reason to."
you narrowed your eyes at him, but smiled anyway.
you returned your attention to the muscle you were holding in yours hands. it was long and thick — you weren't sure how it fit inside you before, and you definitely weren't sure how you were going to fit it in your mouth.
"too much for you, darlin'?" he quipped.
you shot him a look. "wasn't too much a minute ago, was it?"
you didn't let him respond. you licked the palm of your hand — throwing manners to the wind — and wrapped your hand around the tip and the top of the shaft. you made circular, stroking motions at the top and licked a stripe, like he did to you, up his shaft.
that shut him up.
a long and drawn out fuuuck had left his lips.
you shouldn't've — you knew you shouldn't've.
but you did anyway.
you started to kitten lick at his balls, and you could feel him shift from above you. hot and heavy groans were leaving his lips, to the point where he was incoherent. now that you had found his sweet spot, you'd never let go. just like he didn't.
"fuck, you are naughty," he rasped, voice dry and cracked. "my naughty girl. so good f'me."
you hummed as you wrapped your lips around the skin of his balls. they were warm and salty, and you relished in the taste. billy placed a heavy palm on the back of your head. you realized then and there he was foreign to giving up control — usually you'd give in, but not now. not when he was teasing you before.
you replaced your hand with your lips, and brought him down as far as you could.
from the corner of your eye, you spotted him beginning to fist the sheets.
tears were springing to your eyes, but you didn't care. you wanted to — had to keep going. you wanted this so badly — to take care of him. you needed this, and if he wanted it, too — he was going to give it to you.
you began to bob your head up and down, taking care to mind your gag reflex and teeth. the slurping sounds from your mouth were obscene — as was the drool falling from your lips, down your cheek, and along the skin of your raw neck.
both of billy's hands were on the back of your head now, giving you slightest — almost ghost like — push down. you welcomed it, hoping to show him you could take him far, farther than he thought you could handle.
above, he was going crazy. fucking nuts. his entire body was hot and on fire, and it took every ounce of him to not drag you back up into his lap and impale you on his cock. however... his muscles were tired, and his sweet girl looked so perfect on her knees before him, and who was he to deny her what she wanted so badly — what she earned?
he'd never tell you — but he wanted you to have it more than you wanted it yourself. he wanted you to know that he only felt comfortable enough with you to be in such a vulnerable position like this — pretty woman, teeth so close to his jewels. he wanted you to know that you were setting every nerve, vein, blood vessel on absolute fucking fire with the way your silky tongue slid down the length of his shaft, and the way your tight, warm throat enclosed around his sensitive cock... he wanted you to know how much he adored you, and how much he wanted to give you everything you had ever wanted.
"fuck, sweetheart —" he bit. "I'm so close — you better — pull off —"
"too much for you, cowboy?" she only pulled off for a second, before she put him into the deepest parts of her throat.
the way you teased him set a raw set of anger and adoration through this veins, and he didn't know what to do with it. he was so weak, tired, spent, and fucking horny — he couldn't move, think, or fight back. all he wanted was to cum down this sweet girl's throat and make her his.
"that's it, baby, fuck —" he spat through gritted teeth, the hands on the back of your head encouraging your movements. "right there, right there — fuck."
you held your place, keeping a few inches of him in your mouth. his thick cock throbbed a few times before ropes of white decorated the walls of your throat, and you swallowed every last drop. you pumped him a few more times, for good measure — and also to get back at him for earlier.
"don't be mean to me, baby —" he whined. "come up and lay with me."
you giggled, crawling up the bed to lay next to him.
"gonna tell me how that was?" you asked. "or too proud?"
he chuckled then. his post orgasm glow was so beautiful... for the first time, william h. bonney didn't have a permanent from embedded in his brow. he looked so... peaceful.
"not too proud to admit that was the best I've ever had in my life," he laughed, letting his eyes close. you trailed a hand up and down the soft skin of his chest and stomach before curling up next to him. "going to be proud after i take you to the courthouse tomorrow and make you my wife."
you scoffed at that. "i didn't think cowboys were the settling down type."
"they're not — but i'm no cowboy, sweetheart," he rasped, turning to look at you. "you're it for me — if you'll have me, that is."
you smiled then. a real smile. the type of smile that gave billy hope.
"on one condition," you spoke.
his eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded his head anyway.
"you'll ask me for real in the morning, mr. bonney."
"i'll give you anything you want, mrs. bonney — as long as you're mine."
---
what did we think?? xox
-L
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