#but 𤥠bc there is a but
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đŁ ok we are so backâŚâŚâŚ..
#damian wayne#batman and robin#batman#dc comics#i just found out damian is still the character i have have drawn the most to this very day đ¤Ą#i just finished replaying arkham asylum#i am playing arkham city#i just spent $81 to finish my B&R n52 collection#when i say we are so back i mean it#but for how long?????????????????#too scared to read the new stuff bc apparently they put damian on trial and sentenced him to character growth DEATH
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who knew I would get my first kiss in December 2022? not January 2022 me thatâs for sure
#soooooo#i started seeing this guy đ#weâve been on 3 chill dates bc heâs in last year of uni so itâs not easy#but each time we see each other we make out and cuddle and talk a fucking lot about everything#we vibe very well#but we might have to go LDR bc heâs french and needs to go back to France for his internship at the end of this month đ¤Ą#Iâm not ready to let go#but at the same time commitment issues are arising on my end#Bc the feeling is great and I feel more than fine when Iâm with him and heâs so fucking respectful like itâs insane#idk if Iâll ever find better#but 𤥠bc there is a but#heâs clearly not the type/physique i would usually go for#like not that it matters that much to me but still a little bit#so Iâm hesitating bc of this#also bc Iâm asking myself if (in addition to being ace) I might not be aro as well đ¤Ą#Bc it seems like I canât go deeper than the deep affection I have for my friends for him#even tho we make out and shit I donât feel ´loveâ arising#maybe itâs bc itâs early on idk#so yeah#sorry for ranting#Iâve been mia bc life but I still ended up seeing someone anyway đ¤Ą#lia.txt#lia.tag#irl stuff
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bright young things (2003) / good omens parallels
#good omens#bright young things#aziraphale#miles maitland#crowley#michael sheen#david tennant#goodomensedit#my gifs#rewatched byt at 4 am today#had to do smth so#it's mostly miles. just like the reviews on letterboxd skjsdks#some of these r randomly b&w bc i'm garbage at coloring ://#also the one w/ miles & crowley putting their sunglasses on#it's here specifically to cause psychic damage that's it :^))))#anyhways luv clowning around đ¤Ą
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feral niece and her favorite uncle
#i should draw these two together more often#submas#myart#submas fanart#pokemon#pokemon ingo#warden ingo#pla#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon akari#pokemon fanart#deleted the last one bc I forgot to color in one of the stripes on ingos coat oops đ¤Ą
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đPolin Weekđ day two | Favourite Book Scene
#bridgerton#bridgertonedit#polinweek#polinweek2024#polin#polinedit#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin x penelope#dailybridgerton#perioddramasource#perioddramaedit#weloveperioddrama#gifshistorical#onlyperioddramas#tvedit#*mine*#bunnykaye#bkpolinweek#bkbridgerton#the way i silently swore to myself i would NOT make gifsets for polin week with S3 scenes....#AND YET HERE WE ARE LOL. I AM A CLOWN đ¤Ąđ¤Ł#BUT ALSO#i didn't post mirror promo gifsets the moment it came out bc i was just too busy lol#SO HERE YA GO đ¤#bkpolinweek2024
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When you love Sylus, yet realize you and him might not be 100% compatible with one another -
I'm talking about when the insecurity rolls in. Your very attached to Sylus, yet as you think more and more, you feel isolated. You love him, yet you realize you aren't MC. After all, MC is her own character and the way she acts with each guy is different. You can only see yourself so much in her unfortunately.
MC is very bold. She likes challenging Sylus. Me? I'm the type of gal who'd willing throw the reins to Sylus at every opportunity, loving his leadership and the safety it provides. I'm no pushover by a long shot, but I don't think I'd be able to challenge Sylus like MC does. I'd give in too often, I'd be too easy to please.
And Sylus would probably get bored of me.
Would Sylus do well with a more shy partner? Sure, I'm confident usually, but during sex? Would he love my submissive behavior or wish I was more bratty to put me in my place? Would he get tired of doing most of the work and wish for me to be more entertaining in bed? What if he possibly has kinks I don't really have?
Sylus loves the chase. Would he chase me? Or view me as a temporary distraction from his dangerous life? What if I give in to his "conquest" too early and cut the chase short, resulting in him being disappointed that his "prey" didn't run longer?
Sylus isn't real, yet the idea of him not being able to love me hurts. He's not real, yet I get sad thinking of him choosing MC over me...bc I'm NOT her. I'll NEVER be her. I can't force myself to be something I'm not, yet I wish I could. I can't help but think there's also other people who play the game who'd be a better match for him.
I wish I was his perfect match.
But I know I probably never will be.
And man does that hurt.
#Is making myself sad a kink?#bc I'm very good at it đ¤Ąđ#for my fellow insecure peeps#bc you think your not Sylus' normal type#and you wish you were more like MC đŽâđ¨#also having an existential crisis#bc Zayne and Xavier are probably more compatible with me#and this was not on my 2024 bingo card HELP#sylus x reader#sylus#love and deepspace
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âthere may be something there that wasnât there beforeâ
đ: Mmh... Jamil, I didnât know you were so warm.âŚ.
đ: Prefect, you canât just say things like thaâ
đ: âŚ..
đ: Did you fall asleep on my lap? Good grief.
#huwhsahsga#jamil couldve easily left her to sleep somewhere else#but he didnt.#he kinda just.. let her sleep soundly on his chest#anyways a doodle from late last night bc i didnt want to do work đ¤Ą#now im behind on assignments a bit đ¤Ąđ¤Ąđ¤Ą#the urge to draw them is too strong#stronger than me even#i need to feed myself SOMEHOW#[ââŚ-#-⧠my art#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc x canon#jamil viper#jamiyuu#jamil x yuu#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(đ) yuusha#(đ) curry noodles#-âŚâ]
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ONE CRITICAL ROLE SCENE PER EPISODE C3E13: A Dance of Deception
#critteredit#criticalroleedit#matthew mercer#travis willingham#sam riegel#marisha ray#laura bailey#liam o'brien#ashley johnson#critical role#c1#c3#~#crscene3#i love when someone in the cast immediately picks up on an obscure past reference#bc then i feel less like an obsessed clown for also knowing it đ¤Ą#also matt's little smirk kdjfgdk
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just the commander enjoying his summer I guess.
âBaby, can you pour me another one please?â
Buy me a ko-fiâď¸?^^
#thatâs Coca Cola in his glass bc Iâm drinking one right now and you know matching drinksđ¤Ą#is it weird that i have a beef with hammocks? Iâve been trying to get my mom to dispose of the one we have at home#I just donât like the aesthetic idk#but panama is a hot country so that thing is practically her bed#anyway i was on Pinterest and i saw a guy on a hammock and i thought Erwin should spend his summer in one of those#he deserves it#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot fanart#snk fanart#erwin snk#aot erwin#shingeki no kyojin erwin#attack on titan erwin#snk erwin#erwin smith#erwin smut#commander erwin#erwin fanart#aot au#arteastica#commander handsome
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au Ganondorf đŞˇ
ngl i am Very proud of his design
#zelda#zelda au#ganondorf#au ganondorf#legend of zelda#loz au#zelda fanart#daeyumi art#cycle of the stars#cycle of the stars au#i sat on the wip of his ref sheet for 2 & a half months then finished it in 3 days lol#very on brand for me tbh#tho itâs not as bad as me sitting on my only completed drawing of him for a full YEAR before i even started on the ref đ¤Ą#even tho I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do with his design basically the entire time#anyways i took heavy inspo on this design from my design for the rehydrated ganondorf trend back in 2019 LOL#i wonât show that design here rn tho bc OOF it was rough đ#maybe someday iâll do a comparison tho lol#anyways the last ref sheet i have to finish for rn is zeldaâs#then iâll have all 4 of the main cast#and iâll feel better about drawing more actual pieces for my au after that
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Fake it til you make it
Pairing: Jeonghan x reader Genre: fluff, fake dating WC: 6.5k Warnings: alcohol A/N: yes it's about vday buuut it's actually for @syuperseventeen's bdayyy!!! surprise surprise! happy birthday nat, i hope this year is even better and filled with many things to look forward to <3
Your Valentineâs date with Jeonghan is coming up and yet the only thing on your mind is how to break up with him. Of course breaking up with someone is difficult, but youâd argue that whatâs more difficult is breaking up with someone you never even dated.
Jeonghan is a prankster.Â
Growing up, youâd often be on the receiving end of his pranks at school. Third grade âinitiationâ had you drenched in water after he told you to pin a cup against the wall with a straw, and in ninth grade you had tears streaming down your face after eating an entire scoop of wasabiânot the matcha ice cream he said it was. Then there was the time he did something to make your first crush hate you, which, in hindsight, was a good thing because the guy turned out to be a total asshole.Â
It wasnât Jeonghanâs fault entirely when you were too willing to fall for his pranks because being the target of a prank meant having his attention, and thatâs something that you wanted. Jeonghan had a way of making everyone feel special, and his attention was a limelight that you never wanted to step out of.Â
Honestly, you mightâve kept up with it if he kept going. But then that fateful day came and it was like you were suddenly on his side, working with him instead of being the victim to his antics, and youâd say that thatâs what has kept the two of you together after all these years.Â
Well, at least until now.
âHey,â you greet in a rush, looking around the table at everyone and seeing that youâre truly the last one to arrive. Usually, youâd give that place to Lee Chan; heâs the most popular of your friend group and almost always has a prior appointment to your meetups. âSorry Iâm late. My train was delayed andâoh, did you already order for me?âÂ
Jeonghan slides a sealed bubble tea across the table and sets it in front of your seatâthe one empty chair right beside him, no less. When you glance at him questioningly he shrugs and tilts his head towards the crowd at the front. âThe line was too long so I ordered yours with mine. Hope youâre feeling like your usual today.âÂ
Indeed, the sticker on the cup shows that itâs your go-to order. âAw, thatâs so sweet of you. Thanks, babe.âÂ
Todayâs meet up with your friend group is the first of the year and itâs also the first time youâre seeing everyone since Chanâs wedding⌠including Jeonghan. You wouldâve spent Christmas and New Yearâs with him had he not cancelled on you, and now that bit of distance has manifested into a larger uncertainty for you over the past while. Even now, the âbabeâ seemed to come out awkwardly, sticking to your throat.
âWow, you guys are actually disgusting. I hope you know that.â Seungkwan makes a face at you, and beside him, Soonyoung nods a few times in agreement.Â
You plaster on a smile. âItâs okay to just say youâre jealous.âÂ
The only response you get is an eye-roll from Soonyoung, and then everyone moves on, thankfully. Mingyu asks you what youâve been up to so you talk about your recent promotion at work and some new habits youâve started in the new year, and when you sense that the conversation is starting to approach the territory of your future with Jeonghan, you gently steer it towards Chan. After all, heâs the one that got married just a few months ago, and you know he would never miss the chance to talk about his amazing honeymoon and how great this new chapter of his life is going.
There is truly nothing like adult friendships and its quarterly updates.Â
Once thereâs a bit of a lull in the conversation, Jeonghan turns to you. âWhat are you doing this week?âÂ
âOh, this week?â Your heart speeds up tenfold at the uncertainty of what might come next. âHmm well, itâs Valentineâs Day.âÂ
âYeah, exactly.â He nods and much to your relief, thereâs a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. âSo Iâll see you for our date then?âÂ
âOf course, babe.âÂ
âCanât you guys do this somewhere else?â Soonyoung says as he stares daggers in your direction. You totally understand and sympathize with that though; today youâre turning up the sweetness more than usual to compensate for the distance you actually feel, unfortunately at the expense of your friends.
Jeonghan completely ignores Soonyoungâs complaint and doesnât even look his way. âThatâs good,â he says, leaning back in his seat and almost looking relieved at your answer. âI was afraid my darling might not have time for me anymore.â
âWhat? No way. Did you have anything in mind for our date?âÂ
âHmm, yes but itâs a surprise. Iâll text you the details later.âÂ
âWell, uh, I have to run,â Chan says, slowly getting up from his seat. The rest of you hardly bat an eye, having gotten too used to his busy schedule. âIt was nice seeing everyone. You guys should come over for my housewarming once everything is set up.âÂ
Mingyu stands up too. âOh, I actually have to go too; got a dinner with Wonwoo later.âÂ
âŚOn second thought, perhaps you overcompensated a bit too much with the cringe. Soonyoung and Seungkwan leave soon after getting a call from their roommate, Seokmin, and then itâs just you and Jeonghan at the table. Still seated side by side, your arm occasionally brushing against his.Â
âHow have you really been?â he asks in a low voice.Â
âDecent, I guess, despite the winter blues and all. Itâs pretty much what I said earlier.â You shrug when he remains silent. âWhy do you ask? Do I look depressed or something?â  Â
âNo,â he shakes his head with a laugh, ânot depressed, exactly, but I wanted to see if youâre as sad as I am about not seeing each other in so long.â Then he leans in a bit closer, as if to whisper a secret. âI missed you, darling.â
Itâs times like this when you feel like heâs toeing the line. Thereâs a small smile lingering on his lips and a softer look in his eyes, not at all like the overdone sweetness to the point of sarcasm from before, but you can never tell if he really means what he says or if this is just part of the act.Â
Regardless, it makes your face feel hot and it makes you unable to look directly at him.Â
âOh⌠yeah,â you say, trying to make a quick recovery. âItâs too bad we missed out on the holidays but at least we get Valentineâs Day.âÂ
âYup, thatâs exactly why I have something special in mind for that day. I want to make it up to you, darling.âÂ
You give him a smile and then go to take a sip of your drink, and thatâs pretty much the end of the conversation. Despite saying he misses you, itâs interesting how he doesnât explain why he bailed on the holidays in the first place, and you donât know whether you should ask about it at this point.
Or if you should even be curious about such a thing.Â
Jeonghan pulls you out of your thoughts with a brush of his hand on yours. âItâs getting dark. Letâs head out?âÂ
You agree and then let him hold your hand, lace his fingers with yours, and then lead you out of the shop. He doesnât let go until you cross the parking lot and get to his car. Itâs strange, you think. You canât seem to recall the last time the two of you held hands so naturally like this especially when thereâs no one else around.Â
In fact, when the two of you are alone, the sickening sweetness is always toned down but not completely dropped. Now, Jeonghanâs smiles are softer around the edges like theyâre less exaggerated, less of a performance, and when he calls you darling, his voice is quieter and isnât at all coated in the sticky honey youâre used to. When he hugs you goodbye at your door, itâs a loose hug and almost has a degree of uncertainty.Â
Jeonghan steps back but lingers just for a second. âIâll see you in a few days for our date, darling.â
âOf course,â you put on a smile, âI canât wait, babe.âÂ
He waits until you get into your building before giving a little wave and then heading on his way.Â
After you close the door behind you and collapse onto your bed, you heave a sigh and finally let the smile slip from your lips. So there would be a Valentineâs date this year after all; the anticipation makes your heart speed up the slightest but at the same time makes you all the more anxious. You thought that he really would end things today, and if not, that you should be the one to do so. But seeing him after so long, feeling the way the warmth of his touch lingers on your skin, basking in the brightness of his smiles, you simply couldnât utter those words.Â
Perhaps Valentineâs Day wouldnât be the right time to do it either, or maybe your date wonât end up happening for whatever reason. You know that this is something you have to do, but the question is how exactly would you go about doing it? Because there is one major problem.Â
Youâre not dating Jeonghan at all.Â
One moment in high school is what started this whole thing.
It was eleventh grade drama classâwhich Jeonghan thought would be fun to take as an electiveâthat resulted in the two of you being cast in the school play. Although neither of you landed a role that was remotely close to important, Jeonghan decided to have fun with it and improvise during your one minute of screen time and that somehow turned your insignificant cameos into a beautiful romance that had the audience rooting for you.Â
And that very moment somehow managed to embed itself so deeply in your relationship with Jeonghan that it became a long running joke to this day.Â
Today youâre sitting across from Soonyoung and Seungkwan again, with Mingyu beside you this time. Almost an exact replica of last weekâs meetup, but Chan already has plans and Jeonghan is very obviously missingâsomething Soonyoung points out immediately.
âWow, no Jeonghan today?â he says loudly even before the hostess is out of earshot. The people at the two tables nearby glance in your direction and you start to regret coming here at all. âWe really won this one. Y/N, we should do this more often.âÂ
You definitely should not. âUm, yeah. Totally.âÂ
Last weekâs meeting with your friends is what gave you the idea to consult with them about your situation. You first suggested the idea to Mingyu, and then used the prospect of free food to get Soonyoung and Seungkwan to come out, and naturally, Chan is busy so it ends up being the four of you at brunch. Which is better on your wallet, you think. You get the feeling that this quarterly meetup can totally happen more often if you were to make this offer every time.Â
As for what youâre about to ask⌠well, truthfully, you still donât know if you should even do it. Youâve gone so many years without saying a word that itâd simply be odd to ask now, plus you would run the risk of making everything weird. But if you donât do it, you would only end up making it weird anyway because how much longer can you go on pretending?
Besides, itâs not only you and Jeonghan who are prolonging this inside joke for way longer than it shouldâve lasted. All of your friends should be in on it if they treat the two of you like a couple too.Â
The waiter comes by to take your orders, and you try not to wince at the entire list that comes out of Soonyoung and Seungkwanâs mouths. Mingyu gets the least, seemingly knowing that something is up if the worried glances he throws your way is anything to go by.Â
Once the waiter leaves, thatâs when the small talk stops and all eyes turn to you.
âSo what did you want to talk about?â Soonyoung asks with a goofy grin. âSince Jeonghanâs not here, does that mean you need help with Valentineâs Day plans or something?âÂ
Beside him, Seungkwan has the complete opposite expression as he eyes you warily between sips of his americano.
You take a huge swig of water like itâs liquid courage, and then go for it. âThis is going to sound weirdâŚâ you start, trying not to notice the way Seungkwan tenses up as if bracing for your words, âbut I wanted to ask you guys what my relationship with Jeonghan is.âÂ
Silence. Complete, dead silence.Â
Soonyoung freezes like heâs in a photograph while Seungkwanâs hand holding his americano hangs in mid air as a drop of the drink dribbles down the side of his lip.Â
âSorry, what?â Itâs Soonyoung who recovers first. âI think I heard that wrong.âÂ
You shake your head. âJust tell me.âÂ
âYouâre asking us what your relationship with your own boyfriend is?âÂ
âBoyfriendâexactly!â You have to hold back all the thoughts you have on the topic. âYeah, thatâs what I mean. So you think heâs my boyfriend? That weâre dating?âÂ
Soonyoung frowns but itâs Seungkwan who answers, exasperated. âY/N, what are you trying to say here? Are you trying to say you guys broke up? Or do you think we donât know you well enough and this is a test? Can you say whatever it is directlyââÂ
âJeonghan and I arenât together.â
There, you said it. Your biggest secret is out.
It should make you relieved to finally let out the secret youâve been harbouring for years or it should at least alleviate some of the weight on your chest, but it doesnât. The silence in the wake of your confession only closes in on you and makes it all the more suffocating.
âAnyâanymore?â
âNo. We were never together.â
The bit of silence from earlier repeats itself. Maybe you should become a speaker or presenter with your ability to draw such reactions from a crowd.
Seungkwan noisily sets down his drink and then leans forward with a frown. Heâs still in denial, that much is obvious, and he narrows his eyes as he asks, âIs this a joke? A hidden camera? Are you trying to prank us like Jeonghanââ
âNo, Iâm completely serious. Itâs really not what it seems, and this is why Iâm asking you guys what you see us as because at this point I donât even know the answer myself.âÂ
With a deep breath, you tell them the truth about this entire thing.
You tell them about the high school play and your impromptu acting, and how that led for the two of you to become the famous couple at school afterwards. Sure, it mightâve been a good thing because that meant your acting was believable. But to two people who were interested in just about anything except love at that age, it was annoying and gross.Â
After the show when the shippers wouldnât stop, the two of you decided to do what you do bestâpull a prank. You spent that Valentineâs Day together as a joke and acted extra disgusting to mock couples while making fun of how stupid people were to believe whatever you showed them. In twelfth grade, the two of you did the same for Valentineâs Day and then even went to prom together as a joke.Â
In recent years, however, the annual joke of a Valentineâs Day date has turned into his Christmas and your Lunar New Year, his cousinâs graduation, your coworkerâs housewarming, and Lee Chanâs wedding. Itâs made you on a texting basis with his sister and itâs made him familiar with all your favourite food spots and go-to orders. Itâs turned him into someone whoâs simultaneously as distant as an acquaintance yet closer than a best friend.Â
And so, here you are, living an entire lie because you and Jeonghan had the whole world fooled.
âThatâs insane,â Soonyoung says when you finally finish the story, unable to look your way and instead, stares into his drink with how mind blown he is.
Seungkwan, on the other hand, remains a bit skeptical. âOkay, but then what was with all that PDA?All the kissing? Is this some sort of situationship?âÂ
âOh, um.â Immediately you can feel your cheeks heating up. You didnât think this far at all but now it seems like the entire truth will have to come out. âAll of it was fake. Weâve⌠never actually kissed.âÂ
That drama class has taught you more than you needed to know about manipulating angles and the audienceâs perception, and Jeonghan is very good at it. Your fake kisses were often just a trick of the angle or occasionally using the thumb trick, and having seen the evidence captured in photos over the years, you know how convincing it can look.
Now, itâs embarrassing to admit for reasons you never wouldâve imagined. Admitting to pulling a childish prank like this is one thing, but the realization that you and Jeonghan have faked it for so long without ever once making it real has you feeling almost dejected.
âI always knew Jeonghan was crazy but I didnât know heâd be *this* crazy.â Soonyoung now has his head in his hands and is staring off into space. âThis is the most insane story Iâve ever heard. Iâm not sure if I should be happy for you or sad.âÂ
You give a wry smile. âYeah, well, I get why you would think we were together though. You met us in college and wouldnât have known about what happened in the past so I guess there would never be a reason to question it.âÂ
Beside you, Mingyu clears his throat and you turn to look at him. Heâs been so quiet throughout your story that you were too busy focusing on the reactions of the other two, but looking at him now, his reaction is entirely different. Mingyu isnât as surprised as he is concerned. âActually, Y/N, a few years agoâŚâ he says hesitantly, âthere was a time when I asked him if you were actually dating.âÂ
âYou did? What did he say?â
âHe didnât deny it.â
âWell, we all know how he loves to be ambiguous and leave things a mystery.â
Mingyu shakes his head. âNoâsee, thatâs what I thought too, but it was different that time. At first he didnât deny it, but when I pushed a bit more, he said that youâre dating. In actual words and with the most serious look Iâve ever seen on his face.âÂ
This is news to you. You always assumed that they were all in on the joke and wouldâve never guessed that anyone actually asked Jeonghan, but the fact that he answered that way is all the more baffling.Â
âI donât get it. Why would he tell you that?âÂ
âYeah, so,â Soonyoung says, âfrom then on we all thought that was fully confirmed, and he never said or implied otherwise.âÂ
âRightâŚâ
Mingyu nudges you gently. âY/N, are you telling us about this now because youâre planning on stopping the act? Has it been bothering you? Or did something happen?âÂ
âIs that why you wanted to tell us today?â Soonyoung lets out a dramatic gasp and leans all the back in his chair, hands over his mouth. âDonât tell meâare you going to stop the act because you have a crush on someone?â
âWhat? No, definitely not. Itâs not that, itâsââÂ
Hereâs the next part of your big secret being revealed, something you werenât entirely ready for but you tell yourself that this needs to happen.Â
Itâs because of your feelings for Jeonghan. Your very real, very genuine feelings that have nothing to do with this prank.
Truthfully, you canât pinpoint when you started feeling this way, much like youâre not sure how this joke was able to stick around for so long. It could be the most recent developmentâwhen your friend tried to convince you to hop on a dating app, all you could think about was how wrong it felt because you already had Jeonghan. Or maybe it was the Valentineâs Day just before college graduation when he leaned in so closely you thought he was going to kiss you, for real this time, and then only realizing much later that you were disappointed that it wasnât real.Â
Or perhaps it started way back, to the time he asked you to promâhe said he didnât have a date only for you to later find out heâd already rejected two promposals from other people. All for your fake relationship, supposedly.
And now, for you, what has started as a harmless prank has turned into something much more than that over the years.Â
Everyone looks like they're at a loss for words after that part, and even Soonyoung has lost his enthusiasm after hearing it. âShit, thatâsâŚâ he starts. âOkay, yeah, Iâm definitely sad for you.âÂ
Seungkwan and Mingyu have similar sentiments but you wave them off, eager to lighten the mood again after such heavy topics. The food on the table has been long finished and youâre beginning to feel like youâre overstaying your welcome when thereâs a crowd waiting at the front of the restaurant. âItâs fine, itâs whatever. I just wanted to get this off my chest today so that I can figure things out before I see him in a few days.âÂ
A while later, you finish paying and then all head out together.Â
The conversation continues to replay itself in your head, and you realize there is one thing youâre curious about. You turn to Mingyu. âBy the wayâMingyu, why *did* you ask Jeonghan if we were actually dating?â
Mingyu stops mid-stride and freezes like a deer in headlights, clearly not expecting your question at all. âIâum, I was asking for a friend.âÂ
âA friend?â
âYeah, Chan.â He nods a few times in a row. âI thought Chan had a crush on you and I was trying to help him out.â
Strange, seeing as youâve probably interacted with Chan the least among your friend group. Heâs simply too booked and busy to hang out with you, and has been all throughout your college years together.Â
Oh, and heâs married.
âLike, before he met his wife?â you ask.
Soonyoung starts to cough furiously from where he is a few steps ahead while Mingyuâs cheeks redden the slightest bit.Â
You vaguely remember the first time the two of you did this, and how it wasnât anything like how itâs going now.Â
Tonight is the night youâre supposed to go on your date with Jeonghan, and youâve been buzzing with nerves since the night before. You have no idea what to expect for tonight since all he told you about it was to show up at his apartment, and that in itself was slightly concerning as youâve never been to his home before nor has he been so secretive about any plans. Usually the two of you would be going to a casual place or would have the schedule shared ahead of time if it was a more formal event that needed preparation.Â
Jeonghan buzzes you in when you arrive and before you can say youâll wait for him in the lobby, he tells you to go up to his unit. Again, a bit strange. You do as he asks though, and then even go to knock on the door when thereâs no sign of him coming out.
When he opens the door and steps aside, thatâs when everything clicksâyouâre not here so that he can get his car and take you to your date location. This *is* the date location.
Beyond the doorway, you can see that his apartment is completely decorated. Rose petals line the sides of the hall and lead to the dining table, covered in a deep red tablecloth and perfectly set for your meal. Beside it, a large bouquet of roses rests at the center of the sideboard surrounded by a row of flickering candles which light up the space.
Even without knowing what his home normally looks like, itâs obvious that all this wouldâve taken a lot of effort to set up.
âJeonghan, why did you prepare all this?â
He gives you a dazzling smile. âBecause my darling deserves the best, of course. I told you I was going to make it up to you for cancelling Christmas.âÂ
âBabe, thatâs too sweet of you. You really didnât have to.â You try to return his smile but it doesnât come easy when this whole situation is overwhelming. Then you let him take your coat and then guide you to the dining table where everything is set up.Â
Only when youâre seated do you realize that his response doesnât answer your question at all.Â
The scent of the roses fill the room and looking at them gives you a pang in your heart. This is what the two of you used to make fun ofâthese big, romantic gestures, and the couples that willingly eat them up. Now itâs as if the tables have turned and you donât know what to think.Â
If this were in public, in front of your friends or other people, you wouldâve said that it was another funny gesture that Jeonghan put up for the sake of making them cringe. Because the two of you were the perfect joking, prankster couple, right?Â
Now that itâs just you and him here, it confuses you as to why heâs going to such lengths for a joke when itâs something that no one else would see, when thereâs no audience to watch his performance.Â
You watch as Jeonghan busies himself in the kitchen, serving the food that heâs prepared and pouring the wine into glasses while glancing your way every once in a while. He looks pleased, you note, and he should be if he got his space to look this beautiful. But you can sense that thereâs something else too, almost like a nervousness that sits on his shoulder every time he breezes past you and makes eye contact for the briefest second.
After everything is ready, he finally takes a seat across from you and the dinner begins.
Making small talk is easy at first; you comment on your surprise at this type of date, talk about how cold itâs been lately and how it sucks that your company is forcing you to go back into the office. You ask him how his holiday went and how his family has been, and mention how cute his sisterâs new puppy is after seeing a post about it on her social media.Â
You know youâre just delaying the inevitable. Somehow you get the feeling he knows it too, judging by the way his answers are shorter than usual and how your conversation feels so superficial. So this time after thereâs a lull in the conversation, you decide to go for it.
"Jeonghan, umâŚ"
"Hmm?" He looks at you and waits for you to continue, but you don't. Or rather, you can't. "Ah, you're going to comment on how good this is, right?" he says instead, as if supplying you with a way out.
You're all too eager to grab onto it. "Wow, you read my mind." An enthusiastic nod, a slight look of surprise. "It's amazing. Did you make all this yourself?"
Jeonghan shakes his head and then follows up with a sheepish smile. "Partly. The rest is store bought."
Another nod, and then it just ends there again. Seated in this spot with the soft lighting of flickering candles cast against the wall and the heat of Jeonghan's gaze on you, the feeling of discomfort only grows. It's hard to remember what the two of you were like before, during the days when everything seemed so sillyâwhen each move was a clearly defined act between two actors and the world was your stage. And most importantly, when each smile he showed you didn't send your stomach into somersaults or your mind into a loop of second guessing.Â
The air is so heavy and stifling that you grab your glass and down a large gulp of the wine. At least when you're drinking, you wouldnât have to speak, whether that might be responding to him in a way that gives away all of your thoughts, or completely spilling them out yourself. Maybe the alcohol will also drown out some of your anxieties andâ
"Hey, slow down." Jeonghan glances at you with worry. "We have all night."
You set the glass down, albeit a bit reluctantly. "Right, sorry. This wine is just so good."
Yet another lie, but what's one more at this point? The wine is much too sour and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You would've much preferred a soda or bubble tea, and drinking something fancy like this during such a fancy occasion makes you feel like you're pretending to be someone you're not.
Which is exactly what you're doing, isn't it? You've been living a lie this entire time.
You briefly wonder if Jeonghan feels the same wayâthe two of you have never properly spent time alone in complete privacy, and to have your first time be in such a formal atmosphere must feel strange. But if he's uncomfortable, he makes no sign of showing it. Or maybe he's always been the better actor of the two of you.
âYou know, since you mentioned seasonal depression, I was thinking that for Christmas this year we should go somewhere. Somewhere warm and sunny to get away from the cold.â
âOh, this year?â you repeat stupidly when you canât quite believe what youâre hearing. Jeonghan wants to continue this thing? And here you were, thinking that he was about to end it at any moment for the past few months. âUm, yeah. That would be nice.âÂ
âOr it could be a fall trip. Your parents have been wanting to go see the leaves change colour, right?âÂ
Thereâs no hint of sarcasm on his face and no playful twinkle in his eye, and even though no one can read him very well, you know enough to tell that heâs being serious. You also know that what heâs saying makes no sense at all.
âRight, yeah. Theyâve been wanting to do that.âÂ
âY/N, are you okay?â
âYeah,â you reply automatically, and then reach for another long gulp of your drink. âYup, all good.â
Jeonghan frowns, a tiny crease appearing between his brows. âAre you sure? If you want to talk about it, Iâm here to listen.âÂ
Itâs strange, the way he looks at you. Jeonghan, who dances around questions and deflects easily with humour and only shows people what he wants them to see, now has worry filling his eyes as he waits for you to continue. As if he *knows*.
You doubt Soonyoung and Seungkwan would have spilled your secret so easily, but thereâs a great possibility that the two of them would be unable to act normal around him after what they learned, and unintentionally hint at the truth. Then thereâs the other possibility that Jeonghan knew way before any of this. Because maybe heâ
No, you donât want to think about that.
âItâs just that,â you say, having to force yourself to pause and slow down your thoughts before something terrible comes spewing out. A slow inhale, a shaky exhale. âWhy are we here, Jeonghan?â
His frown deepens, but now itâs turned into confusion. âWhat do you mean?â
âWhat are we doing? This date has been nice, but Iâm just very confused over why you put so much effort into this when thereâs no one else around to see it. Werenât we doing all of this as a joke? As a prank? Pretending to be a couple so that we can fool the world since thatâs exactly what they wanted to see, but jokeâs on them because weâre not?âÂ
Jeonghan watches you silently with an unreadable look on his face. âIs that how you feel?â
ââWell, yes, because isnât that the truth? And now, weâve been doing so much together that it doesnât feel like a joke anymore. How can it be when your mom is offering to give me homemade side dishes? Orâor when Chanâs wife was there, smiling at us on her wedding day like she wished weâd be just as happy as they are?â You pause to look at him and then proceed to look away. âHow long are we going to continue lying to the world? Because I canât stand the guilt.â
The last part of that may be true, but itâs not the full truth.Â
âYeah, youâre right. We donât have to keep doing this.â
âWâwhat?â You stare at him, dumbfounded.Â
Jeonghan sighs deeply and then meets your eyes, but then quickly looks away. âYeah, we shouldâve left this in high school. The joke has kind of gotten old, hasnât it?âÂ
You have no idea what he means by any of that, but it feels like youâre better off not knowing. The tension in the air is thick, and even when you imagined your fake breakup hundreds of times in your head, this is not something you could have predicted. Itâs as youâre on a precipice, and one wrong move will delete all those years, all that time you spent with him.Â
And the worst part is that you donât even want to break up.
âJeonghan, look. I know all of this is supposed to be a joke, but why is it that it feels like you really do care?â One last deep breath before you make the jump. âAnd why is it that I *want* you to care?âÂ
That has him stunned for a second, so much that the expression is obvious on his face in a way that almost never happens.Â
âWait, what? I do care. No, I get that we started all this for fun back then, but thatâs not how I feel about it now. Everything weâve done is realâtrust me, I wouldnât have brought you to my family if that wasnât the case. And I never thought I was lying to them. Itâs exaggerated, yes, and much too dramatic, but Iâm not a good enough actor where all that can be based on a complete lie.âÂ
You braced yourself for the final blow, only to be completely confused over his words. âWhat are you saying?âÂ
âY/N, itâs always been real to me. All of it.âÂ
âButâbut I thought you wanted to stop all this when you cancelled our plans for Christmas. Why did you do that?â
Jeonghan opens his mouth a little but then closes it again. âDo you remember last year at Chanâs wedding when you caught the bouquet?âÂ
You nod but donât hide your confusion about where this is going.
âAfter you caught it, everyone was looking at you⌠and then at me. It was like they all expected us to be next, because well,â he shrugs, âeveryone thought we were together. And thatâs when I realized that this is more than simply feeling like itâs real. We were turning it into something real.â
âSo you called off Christmas because you wanted to stop doing this? Because you hated how it was becoming real?âÂ
âNo,â Jeonghan shakes his head. âThe opposite. I was afraid of how much I liked that it felt real. That day at the wedding, IâI wanted to kiss you for real, Y/N. Not have to fake it.âÂ
âOhâŚâ
âIf we did meet up for Christmas, I donât know what mightâve happened. I thought it was safer to stay away for a bit and gather my thoughts.â He hesitates slightly and you can see the pained smile he has on. âBut one day into the holidays and I was already regretting my decision.âÂ
You donât know what to say to that. Your mind is hardly listening anymore when it keeps on repeating Jeonghanâs words like a broken record, screaming to you that itâs real, that all of it is real. That youâre not the only one whoâs been feeling this way, and that you wonât need to stage a fake breakup for your fake relationship.Â
âAre you okay?â he asks, breaking you out of your thoughts.
âIâm justâare you sure all this is real? Jeonghan, are you being serious?â
He breaks into a tender smile. âDonât you remember? I already answered you back then, Y/N.â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âYou asked me if Iâd be your darling, even if thousands of miles may separate us, even ifââÂ
ââif the paths we walk may crumble,â you finish off. âOr something like that. I actually have no idea what we said back then.â
Those were the lines in the play that you did back in high school, the very lines that the two of you conjured out of thin air one day and the very moment that started this whole thing.Â
âYeah, that,â he says softly.
âHmm, so, babe,â you put on your usual mockingly sweet tone, repeating the line that you said on stage many years ago, âare you going to kiss me?âÂ
Jeonghan holds back a smile like he canât contain his happiness, and follows with his line without missing a beat. âIf thatâs what my darling wants.â
The smile only widens when he gets up from his seat and you go to meet him halfway, and itâs the last thing you see when he leans in closer and closer. Jeonghan gently slides his thumb between his lips and yours as he closes the distance, like how it was done the very first time, but this time you can feel it as he slowly moves it away.Â
Then youâre kissing him, actually kissing him for real for the first time. His lips are soft and warm, and the bit of hesitance between you seems to completely melt away as you wrap your arms around him and he pulls you closer. You let yourself drown in his scent, the warmth of his touch, and the loud pounding of your heart now that you no longer have to be paying attention to the reactions of the people around you. Nothing else matters anymore, all that matters is what you have now.
You spend the rest of the night catching up, whether thatâd be stories over the years of shared memories, or creating new memories to make up for the lost time. He tells you he loves you and that the trip suggestions were very much real, and the two of you laugh over how youâve become the exact couple you once mocked. Itâs easy to understand them now though, you think as Jeonghan gives you a sleepy smile as youâre cuddled up on the couch.
âOh yeah, I wanted to ask something,â you say, and he looks at you in alarm at your abruptness. âWhy did you tell Mingyu that we were together?â
Jeonghan stays silent for a bit, narrowing his eyes as if having difficulty recalling what youâre talking about. Then he finally answers. âOh that?â He chuckles. âThat was because I didnât want him to think he had a chance with you.â
#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x you#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fic#jeonghan fic#my fic#if you asked me just last week if i was ever gonna post again#i might've said no HAHAHA#truly this came out of nowhere!! and yes it's so rushed OTL#not a brand new idea tho bc it's smth i've been thinking about over the years#kinda inspired by an iconic tumblr post!!#tbh the first jeonghan fic on this blog was gonna be#his story of the holiday party series (i wrote 6k in dec and gave up)#was gonna scrap it but i reread it this week and it's not bad??#so try again this year ig đ¤Ą
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PHEW. This has to be the last of my attacks this year! @luckyblackcatxiii âs Saverio and @sirwarlock âs Lavr! đĄď¸âď¸đŠ¸âĽď¸
#my art#curse of strahd#dnd#artfight 2024#saverio#lavr#im soooooooooooo tired#hough#stayed up til 1 am to get these finishedđđ¤Ą#artfight is nice tho bc u get to draw smth nice for artists youâve been.#literally looking up to for months or even years#see u guys next year :3
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#resident evil#leon s kennedy#chris redfield#resident evil vendetta#leon kennedy#reedit#so after re4r i found myself in the chreon mess#which is dumb bc chris isn't even in it đ¤Ą#and here i'm rewatching vendetta while waiting for death island#i have the biggest clown energy#but heart wants what it wants#đââď¸#my stuff
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"I have not seen it. I could see a group of cars ahead and I saw a plume of smoke, like dust and I knew it was - I knew it must have been [Verstappen]. Like, for sure it was him."
#a comedian#why he had to say it like that đ#not me making gifs bc i couldn't find a proper reaction pic đ¤Ą#lewis hamilton#f1#mexican gp 2024
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jace is not âpushing for warâ in the same way aegon and aemond are, and to insinuate so is ridiculous đ
aemond specifically started a war because of his butthurt ego and inability to control his dragon, aegon celebrates this fact with a party. jace just doesnât want his brothers death to be in vain and knows that his and his families lives are forfeit if they donât fight back. heâs one of the only male characters in fire and blood that has to deal with the repercussions of misogynistic attacks; his mother is usurped (on account of her gender), loyalists at court (that he surely knew) were put to death for supporting his mother, she loses his baby sister in a traumatic stillbirth because of the usurpation, his brother is murdered in cold blood (he most likely blames himself for the plan that sent him to stormâs end), heâs going to die thinking he failed to save yet another brother. why would he not push for war? and why are violent misogynist one and two (who STARTED the war in the first place) allowed to react, to want revenge, to want to hurt others in response to their losses, but jace isnât?
we can complain about the way the show frames women as the pacifist pushovers to the men being violent warmongers all day long but jace of all the male characters on screen is *not* included in that, come ON people đ
#house of the dragon#hotd#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#prince jacaerys#team black#pro team black#anti team green#anti team green stans#âhe doesnât understand the consequences of war đ¤Ąâ he literally fucking dies what are you yapping about#get outta my face and stop trying to one up one of the best characters in this shit show#jace>>>any person on the greenâs side#he dog walks them for days#i just know theyâre seething bc him and the dragon twins are going to destroy their favs come season two#he is indeed the most important player on team black#cry about it
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Kaladin not even considering that his men may want to get married. Kaladin being disgusted and annoyed by PDA. Kaladin's only "crush" having been on his only (1) friend (who his parents also low-key expected to become his wife). This man is soooo aro coded
#currently at wor#hoping there isnt later evidence to contradict me đ¤Ą#aromantic#<- mostly tagging bc i love the lil flags lol#kaladin stormblessed#stormlight archive#cosmere#brandon sanderson
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