#burnout?

[wanderinginksplot]

Hey creative friends! I need some advice.

Do you ever have moments when everything you make feels so shallow and pointless? I feel like everything I'm writing is terrible.

Individual sections are fine, but it all seems to lack something when I put it together. I've written and deleted more words in the last month than I ever have before and I'm starting to suspect that there's something else going on.

Does anyone have experience with this, or maybe some advice on how you steered out of the skid?

[roleplay14]

Guys, I may be mentally stable (in the low), but I'm physically getting worse.

[bypatia]

not to rant but everything feels so artificial these days. The coffee doesn’t taste like coffee, it’s barely liquid. I’m not moving cities, I’m just going to a friend’s house 20 minutes away. My therapist said that my anxiety is so high, I’m having a depersonalisation and derealization event. I’m in a such a hurry to get somewhere, i don’t even know where that somewhere is. I’m just running and running and running. Everything i do looks like a cry for help. Sleep early? That’s because you have big work tomorrow. Turn to spirituality? That’s because you’re only looking for fast solutions. I feel like someone has rung out all the wonder out of me and hung me to dry. I hope the joy comes back soon. I hope the wonder comes back soon. I hope I don’t need anyone else to save me. I hope I walk out of this. I hope I stop putting my own life in a chokehold.

[hallwaylight]

17 going on 18

being 17 is so wild because I always thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. It's so easy to want to try and change the world and get a doctorate in astrophysics and a million other things but for some reason, right as those feelings reached there climax I'm craving simplicity. Maybe I just want to own a flower shop with someone I love and look at the stars with them and go to pottery classes and hike on the weekends.

[veetri-bitcrush]

Okay, I've tried to restart the engine but it's still not ready. I'm probably gonna take a break from a few ongoing animation projects and hopefully I'll be back in January with a bunch of shit to post.

[gothboylovesbowie]

This is a big post with some context and kinda personal stuff, skip if you want but here it is:

Oh my gods I am stressed... it hit me over the weekend as I got some pretty negative news about a personal issue and I tanked...

The only art I've done is a small biblically accurate angel sketch and an utterly shit Valkyrie which I erased BC it's meant for my college work and I hated it 😭

I don't have the mental capacity for that shit and I'm just not doing too great so if I ghost for a while this week, I'm sorry guys. I'll get the art done soon tho and post it BC then I'll have a motivation that isn't just "get it graded". I want to share my work and Ik you guys want to see it so maybe once my brain pieces back together, I'll post more consistently but ATM, expect gaps...

[cicadascribbles]

Hey gang, anyone got a cure for- “oh god, I need to be doing anything and everything right now at maximum speed and succession”?

[closerundone]

Between a rock and a hard place

I was lucky enough to see a pain specialist earlier this month, and it has genuinely been a life-changing experience. He has adjusted my pain medication regime, and recommended several changes to my lifestyle. I am now doing gentle exercise four times a week, getting at least seven hours of sleep a night and am making an effort to eat closer to the Anti-inflammatory Diet. I feel better and my pain has reduced to a 6 or 7 out of ten.

However, there was one area that I'm having trouble with - Stress. I am an English teacher who specialises in educating teenagers with low literacy. These kids are often neurodivergent, come from trauma backgrounds or have fallen through the cracks. In addition to helping their spelling and reading, I also build up their confidence and self-esteem and make them feel cared for and valued. This is not an easy task, and I often work or worry about work while at home.

Recently, several situations have occurred, both in my classroom, and between my colleagues in my office. One person in particular has been responsible for creating a very competitive and toxic environment in my workplace. I am constantly stressed, often to the point of tears, and I have noticed my pain beginning to flare up again.

So here's the crux of the problem - Do I stay or do I go? I want to stay to help my students and to help the school community. I love our school - It is small, I know pretty much all the kids, and my husband works there. It has been my family for nineteen years. But I also want to leave. I do not want to be constantly exposing myself to these stressors and risk compromising my health and its newfound improvements.

I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, and I'm also aware that a lot of these pressures are acute and may pass in the next few weeks. It could also be the Term Three blahs - It is our longest term without any breaks or public holidays. But I also have never thought about walking away before.

I might be shouting into the void, or just getting my ideas out of my head and into words. If anyone wants to comment on this wall of text, please do so.

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Refuge.

[animentality]

[brightlotusmoon]

[justkindame]

Everything’s really shitty right now. And everything hurts and I don’t want to ask for help.

I couldn’t if I wanted to.

I don’t know how I get out of bed each morning. I go days without brushing my teeth, weeks without showering. I fantasise about getting migraines or panic attacks because fuck, I don’t want to hold it together anymore.

But I can’t not hold it together.

And I feel like there’s a billion tiny cracks in me that no one can see and I just want someone to notice. If I have to shatter for that to happen, so be it. Just make it quick.

And I don’t turn the lights on on the stairs and I listen to music way too loud when I’m out alone at night and I just shaved my hair so I wouldn’t have to wash it for a few weeks and I just want someone to see me. To choose to sit me down and listen to me.

And I want someone to hold me tight enough that I don’t feel like I’m falling apart anymore and I want to stop getting up every morning and smiling and going to school to stare at the wall because paying attention costs too much energy.

I want to stop crying myself to sleep at night and hiding it with makeup every morning.

I don’t want to hurt myself.

But if I get hurt or sick then I’d be glad for it.

Because then people would finally see how fucked up I am.

And I wouldn’t have to pretend anymore.

[smokinghorse]

Burnout is a jockey and he's riding me to death.

[maniwakpa]

I have art I promised to my bestie I need to finish. But every time I sit down to work on it all my creativity leaves my body, all the motivation I had built up, all the "let's dooooo thiiiiis" attitude...gone

I haven't been able to pick up my jewelry tools

My clay is just a listless lump of scrapped ideas

The backgammon set I started to make sits unfinished

Countless earrings sit half made

I've been able to paint a plaster Calavera I got as a gift, bit by bit, but it is like pulling teeth to get started...and I did manage to collaborate on the Halloween centerpiece with my friend...

I have no idea where to start processing this blockage

My trip to Door County last month was supposed to be a reset, it reset everything except my creativity block

I'd scream into the void but last time it stopped me and asked me if I was okay, and I don't want to be a bother again

Maybe it's just time to write because words seem to be the only thing I have an inexhaustible amount of

[hummingbird-reblogs]

I want to take a break, but I can't rn.