#buck is going through everything that happened in the past month to see how he missed this

[lover-of-mine]

I can't believe some of yall think this is the face of a man who's getting ready to abandon Eddie when Eddie needs him in a fit of rage, who do y'all think Buck is? Eddie's mother??????

[munsonsmixtapes]

Sweet Nothing

Evan "Buck" Buckley x fem!reader

summary: you come home from the hospital and the entire 118 is there to assure you that you have family by your side

word count: 2k

cw: reader has PTSD

part one part two part three part four part six

Buck sat up quickly and looked around to see that he was still in your hospital room. But how could that be possible if-he turned to your bed and there you were, awake this time. You were awake. So he had been dreaming. You were alive and well and hadn’t actually flatlined. But it all felt so real. So real that he had to open his eyes and make sure that it wasn’t actually happening. 

“Hey stranger,” you spoke with a bright smile and he was quick to pull you into his arms as gently as he could and you returned his hug, giving him a squeeze, both of you pouring your emotions into it. The past twenty four hours had been terrifying for the two of you and now you could both rest knowing that everything was going to be just fine. 

“Hey,” he replied, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips that your were quick to return. “And hey you,” he greeted as he rested a hand on your bump. You rested your hand on top of his and scooted over so he could get into the bed with you.

 Your fingers interlocked as he laid next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder. You turned to look at him and could see tears streaming down his face and you were quick to wipe them away with your free hand. Seeing him cry made your own eyes misty and you rested your hand on his cheek as more tears fell. 

“What’s with the waterworks, honey?” You asked softly and he just buried his face into your neck as he cried some more. 

“I thought I lost you,” he mumbled against your skin and wrapped one of your arms around his neck while your other hand carded through his hair.

“But you didn’t,” you told him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Hey, look at me,” you forced him to look you in the eye and you could see that new tears had fallen. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?” 

His hand moved to rest on top of yours and he could see that you were crying too. He wiped your tears away and pulled your in for another kiss, this more deep than the other one, as if he was pouring everything that he has been feeling over the past twenty-four hours into it. His hands wrapped tightly around your waist as he tilted your head back so he had more access to your lips. 

He pulled away just as things were getting a little too heated and grinned at you before snuggling into your chest, the top of his head right against your neck. You rested your chin on top of your head just as there was a knock on the door. Bobby and Athena came into view, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in a vase in Bobby’s hands and a teddy bear that was holding a heart that was embroidered with the words “get well soon” into it in Athena’s. 

You all smiled at each other and Buck was quick to sit up even though the position that the two of you were in was very innocent. He felt like he had been on thin ice with Bobby ever since the two of you had gotten together and there was no way he was going to risk doing anything that was going to get him benched again. 

“There’s my girl,” Bobby said, his smile getting wider as he set the flowers and teddy bear on the table that was to your left that held all of the cards and gifts from the 118 and their families that had been left while you were asleep. 

“Hey, Bobby, Athena.”

“How you holding up, baby?” Athena asked as she stood to your right, moving some hair away from the bandage that was on your forehead, not wanting it to get stuck to the tape. She had only known you for only a few months and was already becoming a mother figure to you. Not that you minded. You actually didn’t mind at all. Her and Bobby had treated you like their third child and considered you to be as such. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t given birth to you, you were her daughter in every way that counted. 

“I’m good,” you nodded as best you could with Buck’s head buried back into your chest. “Thank you guys for being here.”

“We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Bobby replied as he sat down in the chair that was previously occupied by Buck. His hand reached out for yours and you gave it to him. You watched his eyes water and didn’t think your eyes could produce anymore tears, but looking at his bottom wobble, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold them in anymore. 

Pretty soon, all four of you were crying and you all gathered into a group hug, Athena on your side while Bobby was on Bucks, everyone trying their best to hug you tight, showing you just how thankful they felt that you had survived and had come out the other side practically unscathed. It felt like a miracle that a crash that bad had only broken your leg and hadn’t affected the baby in any way shape or form. As your car rolled down the hill, making its way to the tree, you were positive that you were going to be a goner. 

One Week Later

Buck rolled your wheelchair into the elevator as slow as could be, trying his best not to hurt you. You had just been released and he really wasn’t trying to give you a reason to go back, especially since you had racked up quite the bill as it was. Bobby and Athena and Scarlett were right behind with all of your gifts and cards from everyone who had come to visit you. 

You were all engaging in conversation as the elevator went down and once you got to the parking garage, you all exited and went to your vehicles and let them all know what you’d meet them at Bobby and Athena’s where you were going to stay temporarily in their guest room because they insisted on keeping an eye on you. 

Once you said your goodbyes, Buck helped you out of your wheelchair and got you into the passenger seat of his jeep. Once he made sure that you were okay, he got into the driver’s seat and started the vehicle. You realized that you hadn’t been in a vehicle since the accident and you were trying to choke down your fear, trying to push out all of the images of the crash out of your head. 

It was manageable considering that you were a passenger, but now you were afraid that you weren’t going to be able to drive. Not that you could considering the state of your leg, but still. You shut your eyes tight and squeezed Buck’s hand that you were holding tight. He turned to you briefly and then quickly pulled over once he realized that something was happening. 

“What’s going on? Is it the baby? Do I need to pull over?” He asked, constantly looking over at the uneasy look on your face. 

“I’m fine, the baby is fine. Just drive, please,” you begged, wanting this hell to be over. Once you got to the house, you’d be perfectly fine. 

“Are you sure?” He just wanted to be positive that you were actually good and not just saying what he wanted to hear. He knew that you wouldn’t lie to him, but sometimes you did stretch the truth a bit just so he wouldn’t worry and he knew that. 

“Very sure,” you nodded and Buck continued to drive all the way to the house without another word. 

His jeep pulled into the driveway and he was quick to get the wheelchair out of the back before helping you into it. You weren’t sure why, but something felt off as he wheeled you to the front door. Buck opened it and pushed it open, only for the lights to be off, which was weird since Bobby and Athena had been the ones to invite the two of you over and also that their cars were in the driveway so they had clearly beaten you there. 

Buck flipped on the lights and Bobby, Athena, the entirety of the 118 and their families were standing in the living room in front of a large banner that was welcoming you home. They all yelled the word “surprise” in unison and all you and Buck could do was gasp as you pushed your chair to get a closer look. 

Bobby rushed over and pulled down the ramp that they had installed for you and Buck pushed your chair down it with ease. Once you were on the main level, everyone rushed to give you hugs and congratulations on the baby. If you felt loved on the night of your first party, here, you really felt like family. 

All of these people barely even knew you and here they were, taking time out of their busy schedules to visit you in the hospital and even throw a party to welcome you back home. You had never felt more loved and accepted in your entire life and you felt very grateful that you had met Buck that night at the bar. Not only because he was easily becoming the best boyfriend you ever had, but also because you now had a family that came along with him. Just by the way they all dropped everything to be there for you when you were in a time of need and had even showed up to your welcome party even when none of them knew you. Just because Bobby had asked them. 

—

One Week Later

You felt like a kid on Christmas morning as Buck drove you to your appointment. He would have gone anyway, but since you had gotten home from the hospital, he wouldn’t leave your side. He had made himself at home at Bobby and Athena’s and they didn’t mind a single bit. If he wasn’t fetching something for you, he was laying in the bed in the guest room with you, talking to your bump. 

You both were so excited to find out the sex and decided that you’d be happy with whatever you had as long as the baby was healthy. You had discussed names for either gender and Buck was honestly fine with whatever you wanted, completely willing to get rid of his list if you didn’t like any of the names he had written down. 

Buck wheeled you into the room and helped you onto the bed as the woman who was going to be doing your ultrasound entered. She gave you a bright smile and your nerves suddenly lessened. 

“Hey, mama,” her smile got brighter as she approached you.

“Hi,” you gave her a wave and Buck mimicked your actions. 

“Alright, I’m going to put the gel on your stomach,” she put her gloves on and poured some of the gel into her hand and you grabbed hold of Buck’s hand, giving it a squeeze as the stuff was rubbed onto your stomach. It felt odd and cold. She then took the sensor and moved it around until she could see the baby. 

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you saw it. It was so small and you wanted to do everything in your power to protect it. And you would. Between you and Buck, there was no question that that would happen. Even though neither of you were sure what you were doing, everyone else was sure that you were going to be the best parents to that baby. 

You both looked at the screen as you squeezed Buck’s hand and you felt the tears run down your face as you looked at the tiny little baby that was inside your stomach. You turned to buck briefly and could see that he was crying as well. 

“If you’ll look right there,” the woman pointed at the screen. “You’ll see that it’s a girl.”

“A girl,” you repeated, looking at Buck once again. 

“A girl,” he repeated. He’d never tell you, but he always secretly wanted to have a girl. He thought he’d be a much better girl dad and he was hoping that he was right. He was going to spoil her and give her whatever she wanted, knowing that she would take after her mother by being able to show him a smile and he’d try his very best to give her the world.

[wwilsonbarness]

the three words

pairings: bucky barnes x y/n reader  

based on the request below ⬇️⬇️

Ok, here it goes. Can I request a story where y/n is dating Bucky, it's new, like they haven't had sex yet, they both love each other and want to have sex, but Y/n is a survivor of SA, and Bucky will be the first guy she will be with since the assault happen. Can you write about how Bucky will take the news of the assault and how he helps Y/n move past what happened and build a life with him? A bit of Angst, a little bit of smut and a whole lot of fuff.

warnings: smut 18+ (unprotected sex, fingering, creampie), discussion of past sexual assault on reader, insecure thoughts (reader), angst, fluff, bucky is an absolute sweetheart 😭- let me know if I missed any ;) 

word count: 6206 - oops

a/n: Please pay attention to the warnings and don’t read if it will trigger you in any way. The reader blames herself for her SA but please know that if you have ever experienced anything like this it was not your fault, I hope you’re doing okay and I’m proud of you <3 

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist

Bucky notices you sniffling and pulls you closer towards him, he doesn’t hide his laughter and you know exactly why. Movie nights had always been a part of your relationship and without fail they always made you cry.

“Doll, this is supposed to be a happy movie.” Bucky whispered close to your ear. 

You turn your head and look up to see him smiling down at you. “It is happy,” you wipe your eyes trying to stop the tears from falling, “these are happy tears.” Bucky couldn’t help but laugh a little more, he loved these little things about you, like the way you always cried when watching movies, the way you always laugh at someone's jokes even if they aren't even remotely funny, the way you will always make sure to have his favourite snacks when you invite him over, but especially the way you make him feel. He had spent his whole life waiting to feel this way with someone, and with everything that has happened to him he really didn't think he would ever get the chance. You felt the same way towards him, you’d only been dating for a few months but you truly loved him. You just hadn’t been able to bring yourself to say the three words to him, part of you was scared he wouldn’t say it back.

You managed to get through the last part of the movie only crying a couple times before the credits started rolling. You hadn’t realised how late it had gotten before you saw the time on your phone, Bucky had stayed over a few times in your apartment and you loved having him there, you felt safe with him beside you but sometimes the tiny voice in the back of your mind convinced you things would go wrong, tonight you decided you weren’t going to listen to that voice. 

“You wanna stay tonight?” you asked hesitantly, what if he said no? 

“Course I do doll, if you’re okay with it?”

“Always.” you shoot a smile up at him to show you were truly happy for him to stay over. 

“I’ll be through in a minute, I just need to wash my face okay?” you say as you stand up and start walking towards the bathroom. 

“Okay, doll.” When you get to your bedroom you see Bucky in the middle of taking his pants down, you couldn’t deny the physical attraction you had for him, you even craved his touch but you weren’t ready to do that with him. Not yet. 

“I put a toothbrush beside the sink for you.”

“Thank you,” Bucky comes over to you and brings his lips to your forehead for a soft kiss, “I’ll just be a minute.” You nod your head in reply and begin to change into your pyjamas. You opted for a thin shorts and t-shirt set, remembering last time Bucky stayed over and your bed became way too warm, he was like a walking heater. 

“Cute pj’s.” 

“It’s just plain shorts and a shirt Buck.” you say back with a smile on your face.

He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, “Well, I think you look very cute,” you feel your cheeks flush as he says it. He pulls away and climbs into the right side of the bed, knowing you prefer the left side and pats the space beside him. “You comin doll?” You climb in beside him and practically melt into his touch. 

He brings his face down to yours and leans in for a kiss, a slow, deep kiss and you lean into it, kissing him back. He moves his fingers up to your arm and starts to trail his fingers in circles over it, slowly moving to your chest, his lips following the same direction. You could tell what he wanted to do but you weren't ready for it, it took a second for you to say the words that were racing through your brain, “Wait Bucky, stop.” Your words came out a lot softer than you meant them to, you were almost scared he wouldn’t listen, but he backs away from you instantly and looks up to see your eyes becoming glossy. 

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” You could see the concern in his eyes and you hated yourself for making him worry. You hated yourself for not being able to give him what he wanted, you knew he deserved a girlfriend who could make him feel good. 

“I’m fine, but um,” you pause and take a breath before continuing “can we just cuddle tonight?” your voice was just as soft as before, and he could tell.

His eyes softened at your question, “Yeah baby, of course.” He lies back down and pulls you gently next to him. You lay your head down on his chest and get comfortable, he can feel the deep sigh of relief you take.

A couple minutes of silence pass before you can bring yourself to speak, and all you can manage is “I’m sorry.”

“Y/n, I promise, you have nothing to be sorry for. We don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do, okay?” You try to answer him but you can’t find any words so you just nod against his chest. He rubs his hand gently over your arm trying to comfort you, the most important thing to him was that the girl he loved felt safe with him and he hoped you knew that. You had to know that right? That he loved you? 

You wanted to thank him for understanding and for not forcing you to do anything you didn't want to do but you couldn’t. Not without telling him about what happened to you, and you weren't ready to do that yet. You desperately wanted to tell him you loved him, to say those three words to him but the little voice in the back of your mind has once again taken control. He wouldn’t love you back, you know he wouldn’t and it would ruin everything. 

You try to push those thoughts far out of your mind and let sleep take over. 

You're not sure when you managed to fall asleep but when you woke up the space beside you was empty, he left? Did you scare him away? That thought doesn’t last long because you hear a bang in the kitchen and run through to find Bucky and the floor covered in waffle batter. 

You try to hide your giggles and ask if he’s okay but you nearly double over from laughing so hard. You finally manage to string together a sentence, “What happened in here?” 

Bucky did not find the batter spilling that funny but when he saw you laughing over it his heart melted, and he joined you in laughing. “Okay. This was not my fault” he says looking around him.

“Really? You raise your eyebrows and sport a grin on your face, “So who’s fault would it be?” 

“Well..” he pauses trying to think of an excuse but fails, “It was an accident” you walk over to him, looking out for the batter on the way, still laughing at the situation. 

“I suppose I can forgive you this time, but, only if you go change so I can hug you” 

“Just as soon as I clean this up, doll” He goes to grab the paper towels but you get there first.

“I will clean it up, you,” you point towards him “go get changed.” 

“Okay finee,” He sighs, “I will be right back.” 

It doesn’t take long to clean up and once you're finished you notice 3 cooked waffles beside the cooker, they must have been the only ones who survived Bucky’s awful cooking. Behind the waffles are tons of toppings, honey, whipped cream, strawberries and he even had grapes cut up for you, which were your favourite topping. It was unlike him to make breakfast, he would normally insist you go out because of this very reason, it normally ended up in something being broken or burnt. 

“So Chef Barnes, what made you decide to cook breakfast today?” you ask as he strolls back into the kitchen in a much cleaner state. He stands behind you and wraps his arms around you, leaning his head on your shoulder. 

“Just wanted to treat my girl, sorry it didn’t go to plan” you can hear sadness in his voice as he speaks. 

“Hey, we got 3 perfectly good waffles here, and you know what they say.” He turns his head to you, his brows furrowed together, you sense his confusion and continue. “Don’t cry over spilt waffle batter.” You both laugh at your words. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the phrase, doll.” 

“Hmm, I’m pretty sure it is,” you tease back. “How ‘bout we try these waffles? I’m looking forward to seeing how much your cooking skills have improved.”

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high, but they look kind of okay?” His words slow down as he lifts the waffles up and inspects them. You peck his cheek quickly and lift the toppings off the counter.

“Come on, let’s do a taste test” You move to the table and lay out the toppings whilst Bucky brings over the waffles and orange juice. You both top your waffles, you choose grapes and whipped cream, and Bucky chooses honey, strawberries and cream. Bucky was almost burning a hole in your soul with how hard he was watching you take your first bite, so you decided to tease him. You purposefully make no facial expressions as you finish the bite. 

“So, where did you find the recipe for the waffles?” 

His eyes slightly squint together, “I got Sam to send me one,” You just nod. “Are they bad? I can make you something else if you want, well, not make I've had enough of the kitchen today.”

You finally break character and let out a huge giggle, “I’m just kidding, Buck. They taste really good.” He looks at you and you can tell he’s surprised, not quite believing you. “Really! Try it.” You nod towards his plate.

He takes a bite and chews slowly, almost scared of his own cooking skills before a smirk creeps onto his face. “You know what, I don’t think I’ll retire my chefs hat quite yet.” 

“As long as you promise to let me know next time, so I can have the fire extinguisher on standby.” The rest of breakfast went just like that, teasing each other, laughing together, everything felt good again. 

Bucky couldn’t stay with you for much longer that day, he had to go to the compound and meet Sam for training and preparation for a mission they had planned this week. You were sad he had to go but you knew it was important, plus it gave you time to go into work for a bit and check everything was okay with your store. You took a step back from working a couple years ago when things got a little too much, and thankfully you had great employees who could manage most of the workload without you, but as the owner you still had a lot to manage. Which is why you decided to go in today, you ended up serving customers and you enjoyed it. You didn’t think you would ever feel okay enough to work in the front again, things were really looking up for you. You worked until close and decided to stay longer to catch up on the paperwork you originally came to do until around 9pm when Bucky texts you. 

Buck

Hey doll, you alright? Sorry I’ve not been near my phone all day

You

I’m good! Miss you though :( 

Buck

I miss you too! Have you eaten yet? 

You 

No, I’ve been at the store all day, you? 

Buck 

I’ll be done here in like 30 minutes, want me to bring dinner around? 

You 

I would love that 😚

Buck 

See you soon, doll 

You finish the folder you are working on and head home, arriving just a few minutes before Bucky. 

“How many people are we feeding Buck?” you tease. He’s balancing 3 bags of food in his arms when he walks in. 

“I may or may not have gone a tad overboard, butttt,” he trails off as he puts the bags down and digs through one of them, “I got your favourite pasta.” He pulls a box out of the bag and holds it up. 

Your eyes light up at the box and the biggest smile appears on your face which makes Bucky’s heart melt. “Thank you,” you kiss his cheek, “you’re the best.” 

You both plate your food up and sit at the table to eat. Bucky tells you all about the ways Sam annoyed him today, even though you know they’re secretly best friends. You told him all about your day, even though you felt like it was pretty boring he listened to every word.

Before you know it, it was late again, and just like the night before you ask Bucky to stay over but his response is different tonight.

“Do you want me to?” His voice was smaller than usual, like it was lined with doubt. 

You did want him to stay, you hoped he knew that. “I do Buck, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to” You tried to hide the shakiness in your voice but Bucky could hear it. 

“I do, I swear I do,” he goes silent for a few seconds before he finds the words he’s trying to say. “Do you feel safe with me?” His question catches you off guard, so off guard that it takes you a minute to process it. 

“I do Bucky.” 

“I promise I would never hurt you, and I’m really sorry for last night, I never want to make you feel uncomfortable, and you being safe is the most important thing for me.” You could feel tears starting to form and take a deep breath to try and stop them. The thing was they weren't sad tears, they weren't happy tears either, but they were because you believed every single word Bucky had said to you, you did feel safe with him, you truly believed he would never hurt you, and you loved him.

Before you say anything to him you pull him in for a hug, he wraps his arms around you tightly and you can both tell neither of you want to let go, but you force yourself to. You had been debating with yourself for weeks on whether you could open up to him but tonight you had no doubts, you trusted him fully and finally felt ready to tell him. 

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I mean it wasn’t your fault, and it’s not that I didn’t want to, I’m just not ready for that yet” You’re looking at him as you speak trying to sense how he is feeling, but all you can see in his eyes are care and concern for you. Seeing that he cares for you pushes you to keep going. “Can you promise not to judge me if I tell you something ?” You knew he wouldn’t but you still felt the need to ask.

“Doll, I would never, I promise. Listen, if you want to tell me this you can but do not feel like you have to okay? It’s your choice, and whenever you’re ready to talk I will listen to you. Always.” What he really wanted to say was that he loved you but he didn’t want to overwhelm you.

You nod your head as he speaks to you, but find yourself looking down before you continue speaking. “There was this man, he’d been coming into the store a lot and he would always chat to me, he seemed like a really nice guy. He would always ask how I was and how my day was going. I even started to like him.” Your breathing starts to quicken and you try to keep yourself calm but you felt like you were reliving what happened and it scared you.

“Take your time, Y/n. Breathe, it’s okay”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for, it’s okay, take your time, take a break if you need to.” 

You shake your head when he suggests taking a break, you knew if you stopped you wouldn’t be able to start again. You lower your head down to where your hands are playing with each other, and try and catch your breath before speaking again.

“It was just a normal day, he came in, in the morning and we spoke like usual. It wasn’t until I was walking home that I saw him again. It was really dark out and I thought someone was following me, I felt like I was being watched and then he appeared on the other side of the street. I feel so stupid for it now but I was relieved, it was someone I sort of knew so when he offered to walk me home I said yes, I thought that was better than walking alone in the dark.” 

You were trying so hard to stop the tears leaving your eyes but it felt impossible, you weren't just sad over reliving what happened but you were angry, at him and at yourself. If you had just made a different choice that night everything would have been different.

“Everything was fine for a few minutes, then he started putting his arm around me and I asked him nicely to move it, but instead of moving it away he moved it lower. I kept asking him to stop but he wouldn’t, he just kept touching me. I tried to get away from him but he pulled me into an alley and pinned me against the wall.”

You still hadn’t looked back up at Bucky so you had no idea how he was reacting to this, you just hoped he wouldn’t hate you after or look at you any different. What you couldn’t see was that Bucky was holding back his tears, he had an idea of what you were going to say - even though he’d hoped he was wrong -  and with every word you said he got sadder, but he knew this wasn’t the time for him to be upset, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. 

“I told him no, I told him I didn’t want it but he kept saying I didn’t know what I wanted and that he would show me, I wanted to scream but it was like my voice was trapped, I was so scared but there was nothing I could do stop him, I swear I tried to fight him. He just wouldn't stop.” The words were spilling out of you at this point, you couldn’t control them. “He didn’t stop until he'd decided he'd had enough and then he just walked away like he did nothing wrong, like everything was fine. I ran home and it hadn’t really set in what had happened, it didn’t until the next day when I was back at work and he came in again acting nice again, like the night before never happened. That’s when I realised it was wrong, that it was beating me up inside but he was fine. That’s why I took a step back from work, I haven't seen him since that day.” This was when you looked up at Bucky, you could see the tears forming on his eyelashes but he wasn’t letting them run, he looked angry, not at you of course but your brain convinced you he was. You panicked at the thought of that, maybe he believed it was your fault? Your breathing started to speed up and you could feel your heart beat faster and faster like it was going to jump out your chest, and you suddenly felt like you had to defend yourself for what happened.

“I know I probably shouldn’t have been walking home alone, especially in the dark, and I know I must have led him on at some point, maybe when he came into work or on the walk home or maybe I said-” before you can blame yourself anymore Bucky stops you. He wanted to let you talk, he wanted to listen like he said he would but he could not let you blame yourself for this. He so badly wanted to reach out and physically comfort you but he didn’t want to panic you more.

“Y/n, you are not to blame for what happened to you, this is not on you, it’s on the guy who assaulted you, and it never should have happened.” Bucky is the first person you’ve told about this so hearing these words felt like a weight was being lifted off of you. He believed you. He didn’t blame you for it. “Can I hug you?” 

You nod your head, you missed the safe feeling you got when he held you in his arms. “It’s not your fault this happened. I’m here for you, okay? We can just stay like this all night if you want, whatever you need.”

You did want that, it was everything you wanted and needed, to be held by the one person who made you feel safe and loved. “Thank you Bucky.”

“It’s okay doll, no need to thank me” He brings his head down to yours and softly kisses your forehead. “It’s okay.” That’s how the rest of the night went, cuddled up on the couch until you both fell asleep. 

When you woke up the next morning Bucky was still asleep, you were still in his arms but you didn’t make any effort to move, this was the place you needed to be in right now. You’re not sure how long you lay there but soon Bucky starts to move beside you. 

You turn to him “Hi.” His eyes open slowly, trying to adjust to the daylight. 

“Hi.” You both let out a small chuckle at how you have woken up. “Have you been up long?” 

“No, sorry for falling asleep on you.” You go to sit yourself up only now realising you were probably squishing him considering your couch wasn’t that big but he gently pulls you back down beside him. 

“Don’t be sorry, I like laying like this” Without realising you melt into his touch, letting his arms gather round you. “Have you got any plans today?” 

Your brows furrow for a second as you try and remember if you had anything planned today, when you’re confident you don't you shake your head. “Do you have to go into the compound today?” 

“Nope. We finished all the prep yesterday, we could do something if you want?”

“Hmm” you pretend to weigh out your options but you have no doubts in saying yes, “I suppose we could do something.” 

“You’re funny,” he teases before an idea pops into his head which gets him excited. “Do you remember that park you were telling me about, with the dog cafe?” Your eyes immediately perk up at the mention of the dog cafe, ever since you saw it online a couple weeks ago you had wanted to go.  

“Yes!”

“You up for going? We can take my bike and go for a drive by the beach after if you want.��

“You know I’ll never say no to going out on your bike.” The first time you went on Bucky’s bike you were terrified but it ended up being some of the most fun you’d had in a long time, and now you jamp at the chance to go on it.

“I swear you love that thing more than me.” he said as he chuckled beside you. 

You laugh at what he says but in your mind you’re thinking that you honestly didn’t think you could love anything or anyone more than him. 

“As much as I’m loving cuddling with you baby, I need a shower.” 

“5 more minutes?” you look up at him and pout your lips a little. 

“I will always say yes to more cuddles.” 

5 minutes turns into 30 but you finally get up and showered, and head out to the cafe. It was everything you could’ve hoped for, you and Bucky had the biggest smiles on your faces the whole time. You were smitten over all the puppies, and so was Bucky, although he was more in love with the owner's little white cat who wouldn’t leave his side. Not that he was complaining, you think that was his favourite part. 

After the cafe Bucky takes you on a ride around the city, it must’ve been for a few hours, making different stops whenever something seemed interesting enough. The final stop you made was the beach, it was a little more into the country so there was a lot less people and noise. You made it just in time for the sun beginning to set, you and Bucky are both leaning against his bike, Bucky has his left arm wrapped around you and you have your head up against his shoulder. It was peaceful, mostly silent, both of you just watching the waves crash against each other. 

You were happy, Bucky was happy, everything was good. Bucky should be looking at the view but he can’t take his eyes off of you, the way your hair is blowing slightly in the wind and the slight curve in your lips every time you see a wave crashing against the sand. He decides he can’t hold it in anymore and breaks the silence. “Y/n?” 

“Hmm?” you lift your head away from him a little so you can see him.

“I love you.” you freeze for a second, in complete shock over his words and he notices so continues speaking, “You don’t have to say it back, but I just want you to know I really love you.” 

“Bucky” You turn your whole body towards him now and lift your feet up a little so you’re level with him. “I love you.”

This was the moment you had been waiting for, you finally said the three words you had been wanting to say. It was perfect, better than you expected, it’s how it always looks in the movies, on a beach at sunset, which some would say is cringy but for you it was perfect. 

From that day your relationship only got better, you missed Bucky when he was away on missions but you’ve started going into the store a few days a week now which helped pass the time. You were still mostly working from home where you felt safer but things were really good. Bucky had helped you through a lot in the last couple months, he supported you through all the times you felt responsible for what happened to you and reassured you that it was not your fault in the slightest. When you had random days where life was just a little bit harder he reassured you that it was okay to have those bad days, and that he was there for you, and that he loved you more than life itself. 

One thing that hadn’t changed in the past couple of months was your sexual relationship with Bucky, you’d made it clear that night that you weren’t ready for anything more to happen and he was okay with that. The truth was he would wait as long as you wanted or needed before doing anything more, he understood why you aren’t ready and respected you. As  much as he likes to pretend he isn't, he actually is a huge cuddle addict, every night he comes home he rushes to hug you and doesn’t want to let go all night. Bucky still had his own apartment but he stayed at yours most nights, it wasn’t official but he had basically moved in, his things had filled up the empty spaces you once had and his own apartment was pretty bare now. 

It had been a normal day up until now, you and Bucky were laying in bed, but you felt different tonight, you’re not sure what shifted but you wanted to take things further. You bring your lips to his neck and whisper into his ear. “I love you.”

Bucky lets out a breathy chuckle as you speak, “I love you too baby.”

You bring your lips closer and place soft little kisses over his neck, whilst you run your fingers through his hair. “That feels nice..” He can feel your smile against his skin, which causes his cheeks to fill with blush. You were craving his touch and you knew he wouldn’t do anything without your permission so you asked for what you wanted, what you needed. 

“Bucky, touch me.” You see his eyes widen at your words, he was slightly surprised. 

“You sure?” You nod but he needs more, “I need words, baby.”

You can’t help the grin starting to form at the thought of being touched by Bucky, “Please touch me.” 

He turns his body around and guides you to lay flat. “You look so pretty.” You blush at his compliments, he notices and decides to keep going. First kissing your neck, “My pretty girl,” he moves lower, kissing your shoulder, and brings his left hand up to your breast. His cold fingers ghost your nipple through your thin shirt which makes you moan quietly, almost a whisper but he heard it. “Feel good baby?” You could feel the heat racing through you, following his line of kisses. 

As you open your mouth to answer he twists your nipple between his two fingers, you bite your bottom lip trying to stifle the moan trying to escape your mouth. “You don’t have to be quiet, I wanna hear how good you feel.” Bucky lifts your shirt up, exposing your breasts, the cold air hits you but not as hard as his cold fingers do. He continues playing with your nipple with his left arm and brings his mouth to the other. 

“Fuckk, that feels so good Bucky..” You weren’t sure if you were making much sense at this point. “Please Buck- Please.” It was like every bit of you was more sensitive than ever, every time his lips touched you it sent a shiver down your spine. You lift your hips up a little hoping to get some friction against your aching core. You feel his cock through his sweatpants, which made you even more excited. 

“What do you want me to do, baby?” He smirks as you look back at him, he knows what you want but he wasn’t going to do it until you asked. You both loved and hated the way he was teasing you, it made you feel so good but you needed more. 

You wrap your hand around his and bring it down to your shorts, “Please touch me Bucky.” You pull your hand away from him and he starts to pull your shorts and panties away from you. His fingers slightly graze your clit which makes you whimper under him, “Fuckk.” 

He runs his fingers up your folds a couple times, you were already so wet and he’d hardly touched you. He starts to run circles over your clit, your head falling back at the feeling, “Like that?” You could practically hear his smirk.

“Yes.. Bucky, keep- Fuck. Keep doing that.” His touch was sending you nearer and nearer to your climax, you didn’t know if it was because you were touch starved or because he was just that good but oh my god it felt amazing. He brings his other hand down and starts to tease your pussy, he drops a ball of spit down onto you and rubs it over his fingers and around your opening. He slowly pushes two of his fingers into you, you go to bite your lip to try and hide your moaning but remember back to him saying he wants to hear you.

It’s almost like he could read your mind, “Fuck baby, you sound so sexy.. squeezing around my fingers so tight.. Fuck.. I can’t wait to feel you around my cock” Your pussy clenches around his fingers at the mention of him being inside you, pushing you closer towards your orgasm.

“Oh. My. God. Bucky, I’m gonna come.” You manage to string together your sentence through your shaky breaths. No one, not even yourself, had made you cum this quickly before. 

“Go on Baby, come for me.” He speeds up his fingers rubbing your clit, which along with his words makes you completely let go and your orgasm rushes through you. 

“Fuckk..” Bucky continues to rub your clit but slows down as you come down from your high, whispering praise into your ears.

“You okay? You did so good.” You’re still catching your breath so you just nod. He moves to cuddle you a bit but you stop him, he’s confused for a second but then sees the smirk on your face. “What?” he teases. Even though you had just come you were still craving more. 

“Buckyy..” you pause for a second, the shyness coming back. “I want more..” Before he can respond, your leg brushes against his cock and he moans at the sensation. 

“Fuck, Baby. You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.” 

“Show me?” you ask with a smirk. That was all Bucky needed to hear, he starts to take off his sweatpants, you see his cock hit his stomach as his pants fall and a slight whimper leaves your lips. 

“You ready baby?” 

“Please, I want you to fuck me” He presses his cock against your clit and your hips buck up at the feeling. He slides his cock down your folds gathering your wetness, before pushing just the tip in slightly.

He notices your breath hitch and stills himself, “You okay?” 

“Yes.. Go slow please.” he was so much bigger than you had ever had before and even with how wet you were you had to adjust. 

“Okay baby.” He slowly edges himself in more, “Fuckk.. You’re so tight, squeezing my cock so good baby.” His praise was making your pussy squeeze down harder onto him. 

He was fully in you now and he started to thrust in and out, slow at first but gathering speed quickly. “Fuckk.. Bucky. That feels so- so good” 

“Yeah baby?” He puts his hands on your hips and keeps thrusting into you, one thrust deeper than the rest hits that special spot inside of you, your eyes roll back and you gasp at the new sensation. 

“F..Fuck.” You can’t manage to speak properly with how good Bucky is making you feel, you were practically panting at this point and you could feel your orgasm coming towards you. You try to tell Bucky how close you are but you can’t get out the words. 

Bucky notices and is worried he’s hurting you or making you uncomfortable. “Are you okay?” 

You nod your head slightly but he starts to slow down and you can feel him start to pull out slightly. “Buc- Bucky..” You wrap your legs around him and pull him back towards you, “I’m Okay.. Just please.. I- I’m so close. Please.” 

Your pussy clenches around him, squeezing so tightly it makes it harder for him to slide in and out, you bring your fingers down to your clit and rub circles over it softly. The sight of seeing you touch yourself made Bucky’s cock throb inside of you. “Fuckk. Baby.. I’m not gonna last long seeing you like this,” You were both so close to coming, “So pretty taking my cock like this, baby.” 

He hits that spot again and you feel the band in your stomach snap, “Bucky.. I’m co- I’m coming. Fuck. I’m coming.” 

“Fuckk! Baby.” He groans out as his come shoots inside you, coating your pussy. He slows his movements, helping you come down from your highs, before carefully bringing himself to lay down beside you. You can feel the mixture of both your juices trail out of you, making a mess of your thighs and sheets but you didn’t care at this point.

“You doing okay?” Bucky whispers softly in your ear. You turn to him with a smile on your face and nod. 

“That was..” you can’t find the words to describe how he made you feel. “Thank you Bucky” It may have come across to Bucky that you were just thanking him for making you feel good but it wasn’t just that, you were thanking him for making you feel safe and loved and for waiting until you were ready. 

Bucky chuckles a little at how lost for words you are, “Thank you for trusting me,” He kisses your forehead and pulls you closer towards him, wrapping his arms around you, “I love you” 

“I love you more.” The three words you'd once been so scared to say were now one of the things you said most, Bucky truly was your love. 

“I don’t think that’s possible, baby.” 

AHHHH I hope this was okay! It’s my first request🤭

[firewasabeast]

The Dinner

This is going to end up being a 4 part series on Meeting the Parents, where each part can be read individually. You can read on ao3, or continue below.

It was a few months after the wedding before Margaret and Phillip could get back to Los Angeles for another visit. They arrived two days before Halloween, wanting to go around the neighborhood trick or treating with Jee. It was the first year she'd really understand the holiday, and they were excited to experience it with her.

On their first night in town, Tommy and Buck were coming over for dinner.

While Tommy had briefly met them at the wedding, it wasn't more than a handshake and a hello before Jee was pulling her grandparents in one direction, and Evan was pulling him in another.

And now Buck was playing with Jee in the living room while Tommy helped plate the rolls.

“How do you feel about officially meeting the Buckley parents, Thomas?” Chimney asked, leaning against the counter.

“I was fine until Evan woke me up with a powerpoint presentation on what to and not to do.”

Maddie, who was fiddling at the table, looked over at Buck. “He's joking, right?”

Buck shook his head. “You can never be too prepared.”

Maddie rolled her eyes before turning to Tommy, a smile on her face. “Don't worry about it, Tommy. They've mellowed a lot over the past few years. Not perfect, obviously, but better.”

“Is that why you've reset the table five times?” Chimney asked, grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge.

“Hush.” She tilted her head, staring at the centerpiece before moving it slightly to the left. “Seriously, Tommy. You'll be fine.”

There was a knock, and Jee squealed as she jumped up and ran to the door.

Everyone trailed after her, Tommy moving to Buck's side.

After a prolonged hello to Jee, they greeted Maddie and Howie before moving on to Buck.

“Hi Mom, Dad,” he said, a hug for his mom and handshake for his dad. “You remember-”

“Thomas,” Tommy interrupted, holding out his hand to Margaret first. “Nice to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Buckley.”

Buck but at his lip, trying to prevent himself from bursting into laughter. It was so interesting seeing Tommy like this. He was usually so calm, cool, and collected. His nerves very rarely appeared, so it was like a special treat when they did.

“Oh, come here,” Margaret said, bypassing his hand and wrapping him in a hug.

Tommy returned it, looking at Chimney with wide eyes.

Chimney himself looked surprised too, which felt like a good sign.

Once Margaret was finished, Phillip shook Tommy's hand. “Good to see you too, Thomas.”

They settled in and Tommy took what felt like the first breath since this morning. Maddie grinned at him with two thumbs up, which made him feel even more relaxed.

He'd never been so anxious to meet the parents of someone he was with before. Honestly, he'd only done it a couple of times. Once in high school, when he met the parents of the girl he took to prom. She ended up ditching him for her friends about halfway through the dance, so he never had to see them again.

Then there was Joey's parents. A guy he'd dated on and off after he first came out. They were... not a good match, but he just so happened to be at Joey's house when his mom showed up out of the blue. One awkward brunch later, he and Joey broke up for good a few minutes after she walked out the door.

Maybe that's why he was so nervous. The two times he'd met someone's parents, it ended in a breakup.

He couldn't think like that right now though.

Everything would be fine. He could do this.

*****

Dinner went surprisingly smooth. Most of the attention had been on Jee during dinner, but she got bored before dessert and headed into her bedroom to play.

That's when the questions started coming in.

“So, Thomas, Ev- Buck mentioned you also work for the fire department,” Margaret began, “but at a different station?”

Tommy nodded. “Yes, Ma'am. I'm a pilot at Harbor Station. It's about twenty minutes from the 118... or an hour with the traffic,” he added, getting a laugh from both Buckley parents.

“Dangerous job,” Phillip noted. “Rewarding though, I'm sure.”

“Oh, yes, Sir. Very rewarding.”

“So, you and Buck don't ever really get to see each other at work?” Margaret asked.

“Sometimes. I work ground ops every once in a while and we'll see each other. But when I am in the air, Evan likes to take pictures and send them to me,” he added, smiling over at Buck.

Margaret and Phillip shared a glance. Even out of the corner of Buck's eye, he could see his parents looking at one another. He knew they were silently discussing the fact that Tommy gets away with calling him by his given name. Something he'd steadfastly reminded them not to do.

He waited, heartbeat rising, for them to bring it up.

Instead, Margaret smiled. “So, how'd you two meet?”

"He flew us through a hurricane to rescue Cap and Athena."

"Buck." Maddie eyed him, a silent why would you say that?

He knew how protective his parents were. How they hated to think of him in danger. How saying something like that could cause tension between all of them, especially with Tommy.

Buck simply shrugged. "It's true."

"It's alright," Margaret reassured them. "Phillip and I are learning to come to terms with the fact that the job Buck has is a dangerous one. But life's a risk, right? We- We know you're taking every precaution to be safe."

Tommy reached out and rested his hand on Buck's thigh. "Yes," he agreed. "And technically we didn't fly through the hurricane, we flew through the outskirts of a hurricane."

"And Tommy's overly qualified," Chimney chimed in, for good measure. "That's why I asked him to take us. It's also why I claim to be matchmaker."

"Well, seeing as you're all in one piece," Phillip said, folding his hands on the table. "Why don't you tell us more about this helicopter-matchmaking adventure?"

The conversation continued for a while. It wasn't all focused on Tommy, thankfully. They went around the table swapping stories and sharing anecdotes. They never even batted an eye when Tommy moved his hand to Evan's back, rubbing softly. He did it almost unconsciously, nearly freezing up when he realized it. He had been told that the Buckley's weren't homophobic. But it was one thing to not care with other people, and another to not care with your own kid. However, their reaction, or lack thereof, was the final confirmation that Tommy needed to know everything was okay and they truly didn't mind.

*****

When it was time for Jee to head to bed, she demanded Uncle Tommy fly her to the room like a “helichopter” so, of course, he did. Then she demanded her mommy, daddy, and Uncle Buck read her a story together, so Tommy headed back out to the living room with the Buckley's to sit and chat.

“She calls you Uncle Tommy,” Margaret said, nearly beaming.

Tommy smiled. “Yeah, that started a couple months ago. I think she knows it's a surefire way to get me to say yes to whatever she asks. Evan jokes me about it all the time.”

“Okay, I have to ask-”

“Margaret,” Phillip warned.

She waved him off. “I'm just asking.” She leaned in close, almost like she was about to reveal some deep, dark secret.

Tommy sure hoped that wasn't it. He'd heard all about their last deep, dark secret.

“He lets you call him Evan. How'd you manage that?”

Tommy fought to hide his grin. “That's how he introduced himself when we met,” he explained. “Once I realized no one else ever called him that, I tried calling him Buck, but he gave me a funny look and told me to stick with Evan.”

Tommy knew Evan didn't hate his name. Knew others called him by it sometimes. He also knew that his parents calling him Buck was important to him. A way to show they were finally listening to what he wanted, and they were respecting him.

Tommy almost expected this to be where the trouble came in. Maybe this is where the Buckley's stuck up their nose and asked what made him so special? Evan had warned him about it during the presentation that morning.

They didn't do that though. Instead they looked... happy? Excited even.

“You a basketball fan?” Phillip asked, opting for a change of subject.

“Yes, Sir. Love it.”

“Professional or college?”

“I prefer professional, but I watch both.”

“I've been wanting to go to a game for years, but it's a little boring to go alone. We're coming back in a couple months for another visit. You and I should find a game.”

“I'd love that.” Tommy couldn't seem to agree fast enough. The fact that his boyfriend's dad actually wanted to hang out and spend time with him made him feel like he was in a dream world. “I think the Lakers usually play in Vegas that time of year. I could fly us out for a game,” he offered with a shrug. “I go there pretty regularly.”

“Uh oh,” Margaret joked. “Wrong thing to say. He'll be taking you up on those offers all the time.”

“That's fine with me,” Tommy assured her. “I love to fly. Evan and I go on little trips every time we have a few days off together. He's always finding new places for us to go within a couple hours of here.”

“Tell you what,” Phillip said, tipping his beer toward Tommy, “you fly us there, the tickets are on me.”

“Oh, you don't-”

“No, no. I insist.”

“Just nod and say okay,” Margaret faux-whispered.

Tommy laughed, but nodded. “Okay. Sounds good.”

“Good. Now, if you'll excuse me,” Phillip said, setting his beer on the coffee table before he went to stand. “I need to use the restroom. Be right back.”

Once Phillip had rounded the corner to head down the hall, Margaret scooted closer to Tommy, a smile playing on her face. “You don't go by Thomas, do you?”

Tommy let out a breathy laugh. “No, Ma'am. No, I don't.”

She nodded. “I figured. Tommy, then, right?”

“Yes, Ma'am. Thomas is fine though, if you prefer it.”

She reached over and patted him on the arm. “No, Tommy is what you go by, Tommy is what you'll be called. And please, call me Margaret, and my husband Phillip. No need for formalities.”

“Yes, Ma'- Margaret.”

“You're a good man, Tommy,” she said, her face serious but sincere. “You're good for Buck.”

Tommy could feel his heart swell. “I'd argue he's good for me.”

“You're good for each other,” she compromised. “I've never seen him so happy, so settled. He may think I don't know him, and maybe I don't as well as I should, but I know that.” A happy blush rose on her cheeks. “I have a funny feeling you'll be calling us Mom and Dad sometime soon.”

Tommy felt overwhelmed. He'd never expected her to say anything like that, but he loved the sound of it. He was right near having to blink back tears as Buck walked out into the living room. “Jee caught Dad on his way out from the bathroom,” he said to his mom. “She's asking for you now.”

“Off I go,” Margaret said with a giggle, giving Tommy another pat before she got up and left.

Buck sat down beside Tommy, tilting his head when he saw the dazed expression on his face.

“You okay?” he asked, wrapping Tommy's arm up in his.

Tommy smiled at him, then leaned over and gave him a kiss.

“Mm,” Buck moaned in surprise, the kiss ending with a pop. “What was that for?”

“I just... I've had a really good night. And I love you.”

Buck snuggled closer to him, laying his head on his shoulder. “I love you too.”

As he rested there, Buck went over the night in his head. There had been no awkward moments. No moments where Buck felt embarrassed or upset.

Tommy never had to defend him or himself.

They had even managed to be alone with Tommy for an extended period and Tommy seemed... happy about it?

His parents actually got along with Tommy really well.

Buck was glad.

He was glad his parents liked Tommy.

There was no problem.

He wasn't jealous at all.

Honest.

[spookykoolkat]

kinktober | sorry about your boyfriend - e.m.

kinktober day ten - phone sex

pairing: eddie munson x plus size!reader

wc: 3.45k

summary: when you had plans made for halloween night already, eddie was alone once again. but that didn't stop him from having his own fun, until his phone rang with your contact listed.

warnings: 18+ ONLY! minors are never welcomed! inappropriate thoughts, memories from a past hookup, masturbation (m and f), mentions of breeding, crude language, dirty talk, infidelity (reader cheats on boyfriend *again*), possessiveness,

reblogs are encouraged! i hope everyone enjoys this! feel free to like, comment and reblog everything is appreciated :P sorry 4 being so late :(((

⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧ °｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧

HIS OPPORTUNITY WAS PERFECT. eddie’s roommate left for the night, leaving him alone in the crappy apartment, it was halloween and he had zero plans after you canceled on him. his options were to watch a movie, go to sleep, or think about you. 

he couldn’t even try to not think of you if he wanted to. it was only one night when the two of you hooked up, and it never happened again. it was almost six months ago when you and eddie ventured to a friend’s birthday party, drinking a little too much and finding each other at the bathroom door. 

things were said, things that neither of you could take back, but somehow the two of you completely bypassed it. accepted that it was a one time thing, that friends aren’t supposed to do that, and you even tried to convince eddie that he wasn’t attracted to you. 

which he thought was ridiculous. because eddie would’ve kissed the soles of your dirty shoes if you asked him to. 

you’d been on his mind since that night, questions in his head that he never got the answer to, the way your body felt around him, on him. he never knew someone could be so perfect for him, how he found someone to connect with on every level. 

so he thought about you as he laid in bed, eyes at the ceiling and hand palming his half hard cock through his blue plaid pajama pants. wondering if you’d ever give him the chance to fuck you sober, if you’d ever think about him when you touched yourself. 

he didn’t even know how vocal you were until that night, seeing a side of you that he got angry at when he thought about anyone else seeing that side. seeing the way you bounced for him, how your body curved and was marked with beauty and stretch marks. 

he was trying to remember what your cunt felt like again, remembering how juicy you were for him — he felt like he could lick between your folds for hours. 

soon, he shimmied off the clothing that constricted him and pushed them to his ankles before spitting in his hand and lathering his length with it. he was thinking about how you looked when you saw him, saw how he throbbed for you. 

eddie pulled down his jeans clumsily, releasing the aching member you craved to see. the minute it sprung out for you, red and leaking with precum, you let out a soft gasp and a moan. 

“eddie,” you started as you shifted on your knees, your hand cupping his balls and moving to grip him at the base of his cock, eyes darting wide eyed between his cock and his eyes, “you’re so big,” 

“so pretty,” you smiled and bit your lip, watching as he let his mouth hang open and breathing heavily before letting your mouth connect to his tip, licking up his precum and giving his tip small kisses. 

he groaned, wishing he could feel your throat again. it was killing him, seeing you with this new guy you said was the one. the anger and jealousy eddie felt was sinful, knowing that nobody would be good enough for you. not even himself. 

it wasn’t until eddie bucked his hips into his fist when his phone rang obnoxiously, eddie’s heart racing as he used his free hand to pick up the cellphone and look at the screen. 

it was your picture you chose for the contact, and your name flashing. he could practically feel his cock throb at the sight of you. 

“h-hello?” eddie breathed, realizing he hadn’t been talking since he laid in bed. 

“hi eddie,” you smiled through the call, “i just wanted to tell you happy halloween, i’m sorry i couldn’t make it,” you sighed. 

“i went to a party, i’m a little tipsy but i’m home. i just wanted to call you.” your voice was raspy, how it usually got after you smoked weed. 

“you okay? do you need me to come stay with you?” eddie worried, his grip still on his hardened cock. 

“no! no, no that’s okay. just wanted to hear your voice,” you admitted with a blush, the small amount of alcohol you consumed causing you to fluster as well. 

“you like my voice, sweetheart?” he asked, something darker in his tone than you expected, but loved anyways. 

you could admit the crush on eddie was ridiculous. until he did and said things like that, the way he did, and it made your thighs clench. 

“you have a nice voice eddie, okay?” you said, finally stripping out of your clothes and deciding to just lay naked in bed. 

“tell me moreee,” he dragged with a smile, slowly pumping his length as you spoke into the phone. 

he knows it’s wrong. he knows it’s foul and sick. perverted even. 

but did he care? not right now. not when you sounded so fucking sexy just by talking to him, in your sleepy high voice. 

snuggled up in your blankets, you press the phone to your ear and smile at the wall in the darkness. “there’s a lot i like about you, eddie, can’t name them all.” 

eddie’s heart twinged, and his cock throbbed. 

“i have all night, sweets,” eddie breathed into the phone, trying to mask the pleasure he was inflicting on himself because of you. 

you weren’t sure if you were hearing right, or if maybe it was just the cell reception, but you could vaguely hear the tremble in eddie’s voice and something that sounded wet. 

“well, i like your voice, and your taste in music, and… mmm… your hands, those are nice. i also like your hair even though you won’t let me touch it.” you pouted and he could hear it through the phone, only making him think of how you pouted after he fucked your face. 

it was magical to eddie. how could he forget the way your wide eyes stared up at him with spit traveling down your chin, the way you gripped his cock and wanted to suck him off more. 

he let out a small groan, one he thought he concealed as he pumped his cock faster, feeling his precum leak down his shaft. 

“you like my hands?” again, breathy and hoarse as he tried to keep composure. 

“i do.” you smiled. you were intentional with your words. 

you remembered telling eddie that when a girl compliments your hands, she isn’t admiring the fact that they’re nice. she’s saying they’re nice because she’s thinking of the ways your fingers would feel inside of her, or just touching all over her. 

and he remembered it too. 

“i like yours too,” eddie breathed and your face heated up, drowning in redness. 

“i like your arms too, seems like all the guitar playing you do pays off.” you smiled and hearing the rasp in your voice made his cock jerk, stroking himself firmer and at a bit of a faster pace. 

“did you have a good time tonight, sweets?” he asked, trying to keep it together even though he was trying to picture what you looked like. if you wore the dress that didn’t require a bra, pressing tight against the curves of your breasts and perfectly fitting them.

eddie knew your bra size, of course he did. he managed to rummage through your top drawer, seeing the panties and bras you had. he was shocked at how big they really were, and you ended up catching him with the cup of your bra on the top of his head. 

“i did, but i just, i don’t know. i missed you. wished i could’ve spent your favorite holiday with you,” you said solemnly, like you were actually grieving the fact that you couldn’t see him today. 

to eddie, he was getting mixed signals. 

“sweetheart let me ask you this,” eddie said and halted his movements, “why are you on the phone with me instead of your boyfriend after the club?” 

your smiled faded, “‘cus i wanted to talk to you,” 

he could hear the pout from behind the phone and bit his lip, stifling the groan you elicited from him. his hand kept stroking his length, getting closer to his release the longer he had you on the other line. 

“now can i ask you something?” you asked and heard it again, the wet noise and his heavy breathing. 

“g-go ahead,” he stuttered, mouthing a curse word as he failed to keep his composure. 

“are you,” you cleared your throat and sat up a little in bed, “are you touching yourself?” 

eddie practically felt his heart stop. his breath caught in his throat, his cock ached, but he secretly wanted this. he wanted you to ask, he wanted you to hear, he wanted something to remind you of the words you spoke to him that night. 

“i, uh, no i, just, i was uh,” it was too late. eddie couldn’t come up with an excuse, and as he felt fear in his heart and mind that you’d get grossed out and never talk to him again, you cut him off before he could embarrass himself anymore. 

“are you touching yourself to me?” your voice turned erotic within seconds, sounding like the same voice that cried when you came around his cock. 

he just breathed in through his nose, hearing the tone and letting himself get dragged back to those memories that replayed in his mind. “yeah, i, i’m sorry i’m a fucking pervert, i just, i was doing it before you called and, i dont know, i just, i can’t stop thinking about that night and,” 

he rushed it all out while taking small pauses in his own embarrassment, and waited for you to say something in return. 

“i like it.” 

his words stopped, but his hand only kept up his rhythm and gained more confidence with the situation. 

“what about kendall?” he breathed, only out of respect. he didn’t really care. 

“what about him?” you grinned behind the phone. 

you already had plans of breaking it off with him, knowing you couldn’t get eddie out of your head from that night. but nothing in you felt sorry enough to not entertain eddie right now, not after you’d spent all evening thinking about him. 

“he can’t fuck me like you did. just didn’t feel right picturing my best friend when he fucks me,” your voice got low, sultry and seductive in attempt to make him go along with it. 

“fuck,” eddie huffed, his cock aching for your walls again, “you don’t even know how much i keep thinking about you, about how you looked when i was inside of you,” 

you shift to lay on your back, pushing the blankets off of you quickly and letting your fingers trail down your body to your mound. you teased yourself lightly, letting your finger run between the fat of your pussy lips and pushing it in between to feel the slick of your cunt, spreading it to your throbbing bud. 

“i miss it,” you whined, “didn’t know how to tell you i wanted you to fuck me again without being weird,” 

“oh sweetheart,” he groaned, looking down at his cock and imagining it was your hand that was stroking him, “i wouldn’t have to even think twice about it, i’d do whatever you asked me to, you know that.” 

you grinned, closing your eyes to hear the bass in his voice, listening to the words he spoke and felt your hole clench around nothing. you widen your legs more, letting your cunt spread and moving to rub circles on your clit. 

“really? you’d fuck me again if i asked you to?” you gleamed with joy, loving his admission. 

“because i really really miss you. and your dick, and your fingers. i missed feeling you stretch me out,” you whined in a moan, and eddie swore he could hear your slick through the phone. 

“fuck baby, are you playing with yourself right now?” he asked and moved to sit against his headboard, spreading his bare legs to fuck his fist again. 

“mhm,” you moaned, your fingers teasing your hole and prodding it with your fingertips, “need it too bad, need you to fuck me right now eddie,” 

eddie was tempted to hang up the phone and drive over the immediately, nothing stopping him from going to fuck you until your shaking on his cock. but something about this, something about hearing each other touch themselves to the other person, something about the tension of being best friends and you having a boyfriend — doing something that isn’t right over the phone just added to both of your arousals. 

“baby,” he said, massaging over his tip in the way that you did, “i’ll be over there in ten minutes if you really want it, i’ll do anything for you,” 

you moaned at his words, feeling your arousal drip and leak down your ass as you decided to slip your fingers in with a gasp. 

“yeah? you’d come over right now and fuck me?” you asked, now eddie was able to hear your cunt squelch around your fingers. 

“fuck, you’re so fucking wet, yes i’d fucking go over there right now, i, i promise i’ll fuck you all night,” he grunted, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to hold up the phone with his other hand. he spit into his palm again, and moved to rub it over his tip.

“i can just imagine what you look like right now, playing with your pussy and trying to reach that spot you know only i can reach, not even your fucking boyfriend could do,” he spit, his cock throbbing in his grip as he bucked up into his fist, “fucking useless, can’t even make his poor girl cum on his dick,” 

you whined, pushing further into your cunt and flexing your fingers, trying to fill yourself like he did, “wanna be your girl eddie, want you to be the only one i touch myself to, the only one who can make me cum on your dick,” 

he nearly growled, picturing you begging for him on your knees to fuck you, give you what you deserved. the image alone was sickening, making his stomach pull and tighten at remembering how you took his cock and cried for him.

“you are my girl, baby. always have been, i mean i could’ve told you that.” he chuckled hoarsely and you giggled, fingers still trying to fuck your cunt like he did. 

“thought you already knew you were mine when i fucked you in the mirror, you didn’t see how fucking sexy you looked taking my dick? looked like you were fuckin’ made for me, wished i took a picture just so i could show you again.” 

eddie didn’t know where this confidence was stemming from, not knowing how he even had the breath to talk to you like this but you were fucking loving it, you could feel your cunt gushing around your fingers like you’ve never felt before. 

“tell me baby,” he said, feeling his release sting at his lower tummy, “how many fingers are you stuffing inside that pretty little cunt?” 

“only two,” you cried, letting your cunt clench around your fingers. 

“play with that clit, rub her for me, yeah? wanna hear how wet you are for me, alright baby?” he said into the speaker, slowing his hand down on his cock but still slowly stroking. 

“okay,” you whined and opened your eyes, looking down at your hand as you pulled your soaked fingers from your hole and rubbed up to where your clit was. 

eddie’s breathing was harsh, and he tried to quiet himself so he could hear the wet sounds of your cunt — and he was successful. 

he listened to the same sounds he dreamed about ever since that night, he listened to your small whimpers and whines through the phone, the same ones that made his cock stiffen in a heartbeat. 

“fuck, she’s so fucking wet for me, all for me, wish i could feel you on my dick again. you don’t know how fucking bad i wanna fill you up, how fucking bad i wanna see you cream all over my cock again,” he was panting at this point, and so were you as you rubbed firm circles on your clit until you felt tingling all over your body. 

you were vibrating with pleasure, your body jerking and squirming on the mattress as you inched closer to your release and listening to eddie on the other line pant your name, and tell you how good you sound. 

you could feel your back practically sticking to the sheets from your sweat, the feeling of heat creeping up your neck and down your body until your thighs tightened and squirmed. 

“tell me you want me to fuck you again, tell me how bad you need me inside of that sweet cunt and i’ll come over there baby,” 

“fuck eddie, please, need it, need you to fuck me and fill me up again, you’re the only one who can make me cum,” you blabbered as your arm got tight, fingers rubbing sloppier circles on your clit and between your pussy lips. 

your eyes were screwed shut, remembering the way eddie fucked you from behind, watching you in the bathroom mirror. it was too much, too erotic, sending your cunt to clench as if he was inside you. 

“that’s right baby, that’s my pussy, right? your boyfriend can’t fuck you like i can, so you need me to make you cum, make you feel real good, isn’t that right?” his words were so sharp, only sending shocks of pleasure through your body until you felt your hole clenching continuously around nothing. 

his confidence was growing as he heard you fuck yourself, to him, for him. he was practically edging himself at this point, on the verge of cumming for you the more he heard your whimpere ring in his ears. 

“yes! yes! need you eddie, only you, i’m yours baby, please make me cum,” tears were prickling at your eyes, your body heating and started to sweat as your legs squirmed to keep them held open. 

“let me hear you cum for me, cum for my dick sweetheart and i’ll be over there right now, fuck you til’ the morning,” you couldn’t registar much over the slick sounds of him fucking his fist and the way his breath stuttered. 

you could only imagine how he looked, almost hunched over with his dick in hand wet and sloppy just for you. you imagined how he’d feel again, remembering the way he filled you completely without even bottoming out completely. you even thought about how many times he’d jacked off to you in the span of your friendship and it only made your hips buck into your palm. 

“gonna-fuck-gonna cum, eddie ‘m cumming,” you cried as you rubbed a few more sloppy circles on your clit, and feeling your lower tummy heat up as you came. 

your orgasm took over your body, not having had a feeling like this since you fucked eddie. your limbs were limp and relaxed as they shook with pleasure, and you could feel coldness inch its way up your spine as you cried into the phone. 

you could still hear eddie moaning and groaning at hearing you release, and you heard how he fucked his fist through the phone as he started to release. 

“that’s it baby, sound so fuck, sounds so fucking pretty for me,” he stuttered, his balls taut as he let go of his shaft and watched as his cock jerked and shot ropes of his cum on his abdomen. 

it was messy, just like yours was, his cum coated his tummy entirely and dripped down his sides. he didn’t realize how bad he needed to cum for you until tonight, seeing his own mess and thinking of yours. the way your cum dripped out of your hole and down between your asscheeks, eddie was craving to see it again. 

his grunts were enough to send another jolt of pleasure through your body, and you moaned again as your wet fingers trailed up your tummy and rested there. 

your eyes got heavy, feeling as if you were high on something and your limbs went numb. but still, something was missing. 

“fuck baby,” he breathed, looking at the mess he made on himself and watching his cock start to soften. 

“are you still gonna come over?” you asked softly, fixing the phone to your ear and becoming more aware of the sweat on your body. 

“uh, hell yeah!”

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TAGLIST

@awilderi @nerdieforpedro @cyb3rluvvxx @joelmillers-girl @pedritoferg @bethanymccauley @dirtydianaahah

comment if you would like to be added to my taglist! thank you for reading!

[imtryingbuck]

Happy Ending

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader, past Steve x fem!Reader

Summary: Happy Ending that’s all.

Word count: 1,109

Warnings: swearing, my awful attempt at fluff and I think that’s it

Masterlist

 Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

You were wrong. About Steve I mean. Steve wasn’t the love of your life. The man sitting on the floor trying and failing to assemble a crib without instructions because and I quote ‘I don’t need instructions Y/N it’s not that difficult’. Him. He’s the love of your life.

You’re standing at the door to the nursery watching this beautiful man struggle and instead on offering help as you know for a fine fact he’d tell you no, you stand and watch. You look around the room and smile. Sam came over two days ago to help paint the room with Bucky whilst you were sat in the living room with Natasha and Wanda going through baby names both women argued with each other for ages about if the baby’s a girl to be named after one of them.

For 6 months you and Bucky dated without anyone knowing until Bucky asked if he could tell Steve as he wanted to introduce you to his newfound family as his girlfriend, you nervously agreed. Bucky came back to your apartment with a black eye and busted lip. Steve was furious claiming that you both betrayed him and when Bucky mentioned that Steve had dated your sister that was a betrayal, their argument had spilled out to the common room, and everyone was in shock not only to see the two super soldiers’ best friends arguing but to learn that you was Steve’s ex-girlfriend. Bucky threw the first punch after Steve made a comment about you which still to this day, he has never told you what that comment was. After meeting the team again things were going great, that was until you was going to the bathroom and walked straight into Steve an argument happens with him calling you all the names under the sun then apologising and proceeding to tell you how much he loves you. You tell him you don’t love him anymore; you tell him you wish him all the best and with that you go and sit next to Bucky.

Another six months go by, and you walk into your apartment and at first your confused you’ve walked into the wrong place when you take in the sight of your floor covered in rose petals and there’s candles lit up, as you walk further into your home you see Bucky standing there with a nervous smile. 

“Hi baby” he says.

“Hi Buck, what’s all this?” Your minds racing thinking you’ve forgotten your anniversary but that’s not for another two weeks.

“I had a whole speech I wrote but standing here looking at you I can’t remember what I wrote” he chuckles lightly. “So I’m just going to say this. Y/N I love you more than anything in this world. You are my happiness, my forever. I- woul- Will you marry me my love?” 

You didn’t even notice he had dropped to his knee; you didn’t even notice the ring, you didn’t even notice the tears rolling down your face as you nod spluttering ‘yes’.

Your baby was conceived that night.

When you told Bucky you was pregnant you was a nervous wreck, your apologising whilst he drops to his knees kissing your stomach over and over and then he’s thanking you for the best news ever. 

Three months later you and Bucky get married in the field that you had your first date, Tony is adamant he’s paying for the whole thing. Natasha and Wanda are both your maid of honour’s as you simply couldn’t decide. Sam is Bucky’s best man. Bruce and Pepper are running around making sure everything is running smoothly. Your parents and sister aren’t there as you haven’t spoken to them since Steve broke up with your sister. Your brother is there with tears in his eyes and he’s the one that walks you down the makeshift isle. Steve makes an appearance which makes your heart race with worry, thinking he’ll do something but luckily he doesn’t. As you’re exchanging your vows there’s not a dry eye around. You see Steve give Bucky a smile with a nod as you both walk past. When the night draws to an end you tell everyone that you’re expecting Baby Barnes everybody cheers. Steve asks if you two could talk and you agree, you walk into an empty room and he asks you if your happy you tell him yes so with a nod he tells you that he’s sorry for not doing right by you. He congratulates you for your marriage and pregnancy, he pulls you into a hug whispering that you will always be the love of his life.

Steve has to watch the love of his life walk up to hers and there’s nothing he can do about it. He lost you and it was all his fault.

The day Baby Barnes decided to make an appearance your husband is a nervous wreck which actually helps you with the pain as your too focused on him to register that soon enough you’ll be pushing a human into the world. After four and half hours of labour you give birth to the most beautiful baby boy. The doctor tells you to keep pushing as another baby is on its way, you and Bucky share a look of horror and confusion. You give birth to a beautiful baby girl.

As your sat there with your family the room starts to fill up with your other family. Like yourselves everyone gets a shock when Bucky shows them your daughter, wide eyes and laughter fill the room. 

The love of your life sits on the bed besides you with your daughter in his arms your son in yours and neither one of you can stop smiling. He tells you he’s so proud of you and repeatedly tell you how much he loves you.

You see the love of your life kissing another girl instead of your heart breaking it flutters. Bucky kisses Winnie’s face all over to make her release that delightful squeal whilst James Junior (JJ as Bucky calls him) is playing with his Captain America shield. Catching the love of your life attention you tell him your pregnant again he cries and tells you he’s so happy and so madly in love with you, the three year olds are confused but as soon as they see their parents laughing they follow along.

Sitting there later that night with the babies in bed yourself and Bucky take a minute to thank Steve for messing up and as Buck puts it ‘letting the most beautiful and incredible person walk away’.

You finally got your happy ending.

Tags: @bruher @cjand10 @themotherof10 @spngingerbread21 @behindmygreyeyes @hnnhbananananana @reguluscrystals @learisa @unaxv

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[justrikiss]

sweater weather .. dallas winston x reader

fem!reader x toxic!dallas winston "it's too cold for you here.."

warning(s): toxic relationship! dallas keeps trying to push reader away but she won't budge, and he's js like "?? why r u still here" because he's TERRIFIED of love or commitment. things change toward the end though(?).

a/n: i have woken again to post for you guys 🥰 this is true dedication bc i started this at 1:03am and it's now 2:50 at the time of officially uploading this (with this a/n cause it's an edit). first i was gonna talk ab how dilf matt dillon is, then i was gonna make matt hcs, THEN i was gonna do dally hcs, and FINALLY i decided on writing this because toxic dallas is stuck in my headdd😣. i am a FIRM believer that dallas winston is EITHER loverboy softboy around reader OR cold toxic bf that is afraid of commitment and love because of his past in new york. NO OTHER WAY TO PUT IT!

dating dallas, you knew whaat would come with it. no, not just the constant "gettin' it in with the fuzz" or his repetitive fights at buck's on a thursday night, but the laid back "ya know i don't love anythin'" motto he always has going on. you and dallas had probably broken up 5 or 6 times in the past month. either he'd be out with another broad, or he'd be dismissing your feelings again and telling you "i mean i like ya, doll. that's close enough to what you're talkin' about, right? i mean what's love anyways? don't say things you don't understand.."

you'd recently just gotten back together with dallas. you'd broken up with him because you found out he was hitting on another girl, this time a soc named cherry valance.

well, in due time another argument would come up. so here you are, arguing with dallas again because you told him you loved him again and finally snapped at his unbothered, half-assed response.

"dallas i don't understand!" you yelled. "all i try to do is get you to love me because that's what a relationship is all about! i do everything for you and give you chance aftter chance. but no, you just HAVE to keep it up like you care about nothing i do for you!! what's the point dallas? why knock my heart around just 'cause you can't commit to anything?" by now tears welled up in your eyes, but your anger overshadowed the embarrassment you might have crying in front of dallas.

"i don't have to keep nothin' up doll, that's just me. man i thought this love problem you got goin' on in your head was a one time thing. if i knew you were always gonna be so emotional and stuck on tryin' to get love all the time then maybe i wouldn't have dated you at all!" dallas yelled back. you scoffed as you walked up to him, even angrier than before.

"god i hate you dallas! you're not fucking cool, and one day i hope you wake up and see that! the world isn't all bad you just make it out to be that way so you can have a reason to be miserable. i hate it all, and the thing i hate the most is that you just can't love me after all i do!" you gave dallas a little push at the last part. at this point, you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as you grabbed your stuff and walked home. not to mention, the whole argument was in front of the curtis' house. who needed tv when you had your weekly dallas and yn drama, huh?

seemingly on queue, rain started to pour, drenching you in water. you let out a huff in annoyance as you finally made it to your house, slamming your front door behind you.

meanwhile dallas stood in front of the curtis house still, watching you walk away. he tried to act like he didn't care, but deep down he knew he did. "did she get home safe? is she alright? man, i messed up. god, im a jerk. do i love her?" were the questions racing through his mind. he didn't know wether he should run to your house or keep going about his day like nothing happened.

the sound of the curtis' screen door closing brought back dallas' attention as darry walked up to him, trying to give whatever advice he could. "hey dal, maybe you guys should call it quits or somethin', i mean-"

"hey man how 'bout you shutup, alright? mind your own." dallas clapped back, interrupting darry. darry seemingly understood his defeat as he raised his hands in surrender and backed up into the house. all the guys asked what was going on, and as a response he just sighed and shook his head.

..

about an hour later you heard a knock on your door. assuming it was your best friend marcia, since you'd called her a couple minutes before to sleep over, you opened the door without checking who it was. to your surprise, you were met with dallas.

in his hand he had a rose, definitely stolen, some soda (i say pop where im from but whatever..), and a box of milk duds, also probably stolen.

you scoff out of shock before finally speaking. "dally? what's this?" you asked. dallas just rolled his eyes and responded "just let me in the house, man i wouldn't even be caught dead doin' this for anyone.." you couldn't help but grin as you let him in, closing the door behind him. yeah you guys had previously argued but, it felt good to be in dally's presence again..

you both took a seat on your bed, sitting in silence for a bit. finally, you decided you'd had enough of the tension. "so, you gonna explain where all this came from" you asked, pointing towards the items he'd brought you. "just thought i'd do somethin' nice man, that's it." he leaned back onto your bed a bit. "oh, sure okay." you responded dryly.

dallas sat back up and scooted towards you. "yn.." he said, making you look up and respond with a simple 'hm?'. "listen, i care about you alright? but you gotta stop with the saying you love me. i'm not a good guy and i don't do right all the time. you gotta love someone who ain't like me, alright?" you frowned at his words. "dallas, the way you see yourself is totally different than how i do. i know you've been through a lot that you'll probably never tell me about, but that doesn't mean anything in my eyes. i do love you and i won't stop saying it cause i know one day you'll say it back. sometimes you're a little cold, sometimes it's too cold for me here...but i'll keep tryin' anyways dally." you turned away from dallas as you spoke, tears filling up your eyes yet again.

dallas sighed and stayed quiet for a bit, seemingly thinking about what to say. finally, he replied "yeah, alright. hey ask me again in the future. maybe my world'll be different and i'll think about it, huh?" you told yourself "at least it was a start" as you nodded in response to dallas' words.

finally, you'd decided to move onto dallas' lap. he grinned as he leaned in to kiss you. and you guys kissed for a while too. dallas didn't need to say it, but you knew he loved you deep down.

and he knew it too.

yet still, you both awaited the next argument to come. after all, he's still (somewhat) the same old dally. only difference is you both knew he cared about you a bit (and sorta loved you too).

[eternalbuckley]

I don't regret it. — evan buckley

SUMMARY: They always say that you shouldn’t sleep with your friends, correct? They always warn you about it. But if you do it anyways what should happen? Well it lead to an awkward atmosphere between you two and you‘re scared it will ruin your friendship with Buck.

word count: 3.020

genre: angst? with fluff at the end | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: friends to lovers, reader is a firefighter (works with the 118 together), mention of past with buck, mention of alcohol consumption, mentions of sexual act (no smut), teasing?, mention of reader almost falling down a tree, jealous reader, mention of car accident and giving birth, a lot of tension between reader and Buck, use of Y/N a few times, english is not my first language, not proofread! — if there’s something i forgot please let me know!

a/n: i feel like the end was a bit rushed but i didn’t know how to continue this, i‘m sorry. especially because this is my first proper buck fic. keep in mind that i’m only on s4 of the show, so i tried to get everything right! i hope you can still enjoy it! :)

my requests are open so if you have some, send them in and i‘ll see if i can create something! (look at my rules first)

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

navigation | masterlist | taglist

(gif is not mine, credits to the owner!)

"Everything alright, Y/L/N?" Hen asked you after watching you for a few minutes being silent and staring into nothing. Only nibbling at your cup of coffee.

You quickly blinked with your eyes and looked at her. "Hm? Oh yeah. Yeah, everything is alright. 'm just a bit hungover from last night." You smiled and tried to assure her you were telling the truth.

She shouldn’t know that all the things you had on your mind right now were the events of last night. Being out with the team and staying at the bar longer with Buck. The both of you drank more drinks after one another and laughed together. You were dancing together and well. One thing led to another thing and you ended up in Bucks apartment.

Stumbling through the door with shared laughter and holding each other. You went to his kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. Giving him one as well. It was silent between you but there was something unspoken in the room. Your head was spinning but you both looked at each other in a certain way. Buck and you‘ve been friends since he joined the 118. Well after some time you became friends. In the beginning, you didn’t really like each other. You were heavily irritated by him and his behavior. But he felt the same way about you. After all, you can thank a tree and you almost falling that you both became closer. Since he saved you from falling, screaming after you almost fell.

You looked at him. Eyes filled with lust, you tried to ignore it the past months but it was getting harder and harder each day. Seeing him every day at work, needing to resist the urge to shove him against the wall and kiss him. Little did you know it was just as hard for him as well.

He looked you up and down, you did as well. He came closer to you. Very close. Your nerves getting the better of you. He set down his glass right behind you. While he bent down, he brushed against your arm. You followed his action with your eyes, not moving a meter. Not being sure you‘ll be able to hold back. The alcohol still being in both of your systems. Your knees were getting weak after he looked directly into your eyes. Which is the reason you held the counter behind your back.

"I.. Uhm probably should go." You whispered, not trusting your own voice.

"You could stay here. It’s already late." He answered, "You can sleep in my bed."

You shook your head and wanted to pass him but he gently held your arm. Stopping you from moving. "Y/N…" He whispered now and reached up with his other hand to touch your cheek. "I really want to kiss you right now."

Surprise was written on your face. "You.. We‘re drunk we shouldn’t do things we don’t want in that state, Buck."

Both of your eyes met after you looked at him again. You immediately pulled him to you and kissed him. Ignoring the voice in your head that told you to stop. He immediately kissed you back and put his hands on your waist. He gently put you down on the counter and you put your legs around his hips. The kiss was getting more heated. And you indeed ended up in his bed. With him together. Naked. Panting and sweating. Roaming over each other’s bodies and exploring them. You still felt his lips on you and how amazing it felt having him so close to you.

But you will never tell Hen this part of the story. She nodded and eyed you suspiciously but decided to not dig deeper. Her curiosity grew even more after Buck came up and greeted you both. Him looking at you longer but not saying more. And that‘s where things started to be more awkward between you. After you guys woke up in the morning you didn’t really talk with each other. You gathered your clothes and said goodbye very quickly to get home before work. You were nervous and didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t sure what to do as well, either if he should let you go or stop you and talk about the last night. But he let you go.

"I‘ll go and find… Eddie." You quickly got up and went down the stairs. Hen and Buck watching you leave.

Hen looked back to Buck and eyes him suspiciously. "What was that?"

"Uhm I don’t.. know." He tried to ignore the look on her face. She raised her eyebrows and slowly nodded her head.

"Don’t look at me like that, Hen."

She raised her hands as well now. "I‘m not doing anything!"

Chimney joined them now. "What‘s going on?" He chuckled and took one of the snacks that were laying on plates, prepared by you.

"Something’s going on between Buck and Y/N. I just don’t know what."

Buck wanted to defend himself but kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to give in and out himself. They shouldn’t know what happened between you and him. Before anything would be talked about with them, he wanted to talk to you first. Alone. He didn’t know how to process the fact that you slept together. Buck didn’t mind obviously since he had a soft spot for you but he needed to know what you thought about it. His worst nightmare would be that you wouldn’t talk to him anymore and your friendship would be over. He definitely didn’t want it to happen like that. He never even imagined it would actually happen but he didn’t want it to happen while you’re both drunk. But maybe this was needed to get things rolling between you and to talk about each of your own feelings for one another.

Chimney tried to analyze Bucks body language. Eyeing him very clearly. Buck tried to ignore it but it got harder after Eddie came to join them too. Bucks look was hard to read but Chimney immediately looked in the same direction as Buck and was met with Eddie.

"You know something!" Chimney pointed to Eddie, who shockingly looked at everyone.

He shook his head. "Don’t drag me into this."

Buck cleared his voice. "I‘ll uh.. Leave you guys alone." And quickly went down, trying to find you.

Chimney whispered to Hen. "Ten bucks they’re sleeping with each other."

Eddie looked at him and rolled his eyes.

Chimney read this as an answer. "I knew it!"

"I didn’t even say anything! I have no idea what‘s going on between them." Eddie defended him but Chimney didn’t believe him even though Eddie was kind of telling the truth.

Buck walked around the station and found you outside. Standing in the sun and waiting for the next call. It was a quite peaceful day. There was only one call. Saving a puppy from the roof of a house. It got there through a window but it was nothing you and the team couldn’t handle with ease.

Buck stood next to you. "H-hi."

"Hey." You turned your head to him. "I.. Sorry that I left so quickly in the morning." You didn’t know what you should say. It was the first proper moment you had today to talk with Buck.

"Don’t worry. It was a surprising situation." He held a cup of coffee to you which you happily took. You thanked him with a smile.

You looked back to the sun, he did too. Both of you not noticing the group of your beloved family watching the scene between you and talking about it.

"Yep. They definitely have something going on."

"Chimney!" Hen slightly slapped his arm but chuckled. "It was very weird. Y/N was very absent while we were sitting here and after our sunny boy joined us, they quickly had to leave." She added.

Eddie watched you both but didn’t comment anything and just listened to Hens and Chimneys chatting. He didn’t officially know what was going on between you but he knew you guys fancied each other for some time now. It was hard not to notice the longing looks you gave each other. Internally he hoped you would realize soon what was going on in front of you.

You slightly nudged Bucks arm. "We‘re being watched." You whispered to him.

He chuckled and turned around to see Eddie shoving Chimney and Hen away. Trying to act like he didn’t watch you as well. You joined his chuckling.

Buck looked at his feet, stammering out his words. Nervosity and seriousness suddenly took over his body.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

You opened your mouth to answer but that‘s when you were interrupted by getting a call to an accident. You didn’t answer him and immediately ran towards the engine, leaving Buck alone. It took him a second to get his mind focused and he followed your tracks. The rest of the shift went along very easily. You had to help a mother giving birth to a boy at a parking lot. Her car was not working anymore and it was already close to giving birth. And there were another two car accidents with a few injured people but not a big deal. And it continued to be like that for the whole week.

Buck had no chance to talk to you anymore and he thought you were avoiding him. He knew you weren’t but he was anxious about it. Especially after you were no way to be found after your shift. He waited a few more minutes outside for you. And saying his goodbyes to Chimney and Bobby but you were already gone. Buck sighed to himself and got in his car, driving home. He definitely thought about it now that you were avoiding him. And he didn’t know why.

Bucks feeling that you were avoiding were still true. You were avoiding him because you heard how Buck talked with Eddie about someone, he recently had sex with. He mentioned that he wanted to go with them on a proper date. It was a few days ago, two days after you slept together. You thought it was some other girl and you got jealous. It probably didn’t mean anything to him, you thought to yourself. So, you did avoid him.

Seeing this, Chimney and Hen grew more suspicious about the tension between you and Buck. They were seeing that you avoided him each time he was in your near and how you tried not to be too close to him. But there was one thing you didn’t hear when Buck and Eddie were talking. Buck didn’t talk about some random person, in fact, he was only talking about you. Eddie told him he should go for it and officially ask you out but there was no chance to do it.

You were currently sitting on your couch and looked at the couch table. Your head was filled with different thoughts and things you were overthinking about. You didn’t give Buck an answer to his question and left without saying goodbye to him. You didn’t even text him. What if he‘s mad now or thinks you‘re avoiding him on purpose because you were embarrassed that you slept with each other? Your phone was already in your hands, and the chat opened with Buck. You were thinking about texting him and started multiple times but each time you deleted your typed words.

You huffed and got up to get something to drink but your fridge was not helping you. "Damnit!" You looked at the clock. "Fuck it."

You put on your jacket and shoes. You almost forgot to take your keys with you after you were already out of your apartment but you were quick enough to gather it. You quickly walked down and got in your car. You looked at your phone and thought about texting Buck if he was still awake but you decided against it and drove to his apartment. He wouldn’t leave you outside if he would open the door and be faced with you. But if you texted him and he wouldn’t answer it would be even more weird.

When you stood in front of his door anxiety took over your body. You wanted to knock but you weren’t sure if this was a good idea. Right when you were about to knock the door opened and Buck looked at you with a surprised look on his face.

"Y/N?" He still had his hand on his doorknob. "What are you doing here?"

You pushed his arm away and entered his apartment. "I know it‘s already late and it was an exhausting shift but.." You deeply breathed in and looked at him. "We need to talk. And it can’t wait until tomorrow."

He closed the door behind you and that‘s when you noticed he was wearing his jacket as well. What if he was on his way to you as well? No, you were just delusional. He probably wanted to go to a bar or something. He wouldn’t come over to you, right? Right.

He looked at you, waiting for you to continue but you were silent. "Is everything okay?" Buck was hoping you would want to talk about the events of the night that happened a few days ago.

"No. It‘s not."

Buck looked at you, worried but didn’t interrupt you. You started walking up and down. Nervousness built up even more and Buck stood there and watched you.

"I uhm.." You started, "I‘m sorry?"

"For what?" He was confused.

You deeply breathed in and looked at him. You were standing right in front of him. "For avoiding you and basically running away from you." You chuckled but it was your try to light up your own mood. Which in fact didn’t work.

Buck put one of his hands on your arm and squeezed it. "Whatever the reason was, it must have been a reasonable one."

You shook your head and shoved away his hand. You were not ready for any physical contact. His heat was too much for you, all it caused were goosebumps and the want to feel him close to you again. It was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. The way he softly looked at you all the time. No hatred in his eyes. Just pure adoration. You loved that about him. The way how he always tried to be there for you and comfort you whenever you had bad times. And how he showed himself when you guys were alone and you were able to be there to comfort him when he needed it.

"Ironically it‘s not. It‘s stupid." You looked to the floor. "I guess I was just jealous…" You mumbled, he almost didn’t hear it but he did.

Your confession caused him to smirk. You didn’t have to look up, you already knew it. It was Buck after all.

"So…" He took a step closer to you. "Why were you jealous?" He asked you, a teasing tone in his voice.

You huffed. "A few days ago, I overheard you talking with Eddie. About someone you had sex with and I.."

"You really thought I was talking about someone else?" He smirked and got closer to you.

You slowly walked back and nodded your head. "Hm.." You bit into your lower lip. "But you know what it‘s just stupid."

He chuckled and looked to the floor for a second before he looked up again. "What if I tell you that it was just about you? And the night we had?"

You gulped. He was getting closer to you and you tried to get away but at some point, you were cornered by him. Buck stood in front of you. There was no physical touch but you were able to feel his body heat. The more you were in his presence, the hotter it got in the room.

"Uhm.." You chuckled nervously. "That‘s a good point you know? And now that you mention the night, we…"

"I don’t regret it."

You said no word. Just looking at him surprised but happy about him admitting it. Now it was Bucks turn to be nervous. Especially because you said nothing. No reaction.

"Unless it‘s the wrong time." He held up his hands and backed up a bit but you took his hand.

You pulled him to you and kissed him. He kissed you back and put his free hand on your lower back. A few seconds passed by until you ended the kiss. Your foreheads were touching and your eyes were closed. Buck was smiling from ear to ear.

"I don’t regret it as well, Buck. I would never." You whispered and he squeezed your hand.

The both of you ended up staying awake a bit longer and spent the time with talking. Talking about what would happen now especially because you were working together. Buck eventually officially asked you out on a proper date to take things seriously to which you happily said yes. You both fell asleep and the next morning you didn’t run out of his apartment without barely saying anything to him. Instead, you woke up in Bucks arms and tangled legs. You smiled and listened to his heartbeat while he was still sleeping. After a few dates and months of dating in secret and stolen glances while working, you made things official. Telling Maddie and Eddie the news first and then your team.

It was a day on your shift when you and Buck walked in while holding hands.

"I KNEW IT! Hen, Eddie! Give me your money!" Chim yelled once he saw you and he congratulated you both.

Everyone else was in awe, especially Bobby. After Chimney and Hen found out that Eddie was the first one to know about your guy's relationship, they jokingly ignored him but, in the end, everything turned out well.

And well little did you know that Buck had planned many more things for you and your now-shared future. But after all, breaking the rules? It was worth it.

[writersmess]

Ok, first of all

I LOVED the buck fanfic you wrote the other day, my heart...melting! So, I came back with a New idea! (If you want it, of course)

Now. Season 6 Was a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when buck got Hit by lighting. What if his fiance (from your other work) is by him day and night, being all calm and optimistic, knowing buck. And when he finally draws his first breath all alone, she just falls on her knees, crying and finally letting it all out what she held back all this time?

Now, if you don't want to do it, just simply skip 😊 no one forces you. Anyway! Have a great time and take Breaks, think about yourself.

COME BACK (TO REALITY) | EVAN BUCKLEY

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: After being proposed to by Buck in the middle of the night, you didn’t expect an accident to change the course of your lives.

Warning: Mental breakdown, crying, hospital, mention of being struck by lightning.

Word count: 1.5k

a/n: oh my god, I didn’t think it would take me so long to get back. these months have been so crazy at work, I’ve been doing crazy shifts and I’m trying to get my social life back together again. I’ve missed writing for our troublemaker boy.

I hope you enjoy it!!! And I apologize if there’s any mistakes, English is not my first language.

It can be read as a sequel to Vivid Dream.

Masterlist

...........................................

“buck had an accident, we’re at the hospital”

All it took was one message to turn your life upside down.

It’s funny how life is a great well of irony. you spend half of your life by yourself, sometimes hoping to find your soulmate, sometimes not. and then you find them. and they’re everything you didn’t even know you were looking for.

It was amazing how you and buck matched but at the same time were so different. you were adorable. had the warmest and the most welcoming smiles and hugs, and the best advice anyone could ever need. and you were determined, you knew what you wanted for your future, ever since you were a kid. and buck, well, it was buck. the boy who ran away in the hope of finding himself and finding the true meaning of happiness.

which he didn’t imagine that it would be in those sparkling eyes of yours or in that sincere smile on your lips.

and you also didn’t expect to find it so soon in a man like buck. so spontaneous, with such a beautiful smile, and with such a traumatic past.

and that was your fiancé now.

after proposing at 4am in the middle of a shift. with no ring and definitely with no preparation, but with the greatest love that could fit inside of that heart full os scars of him.

“going on a call. love you”

The opened and unanswered message screamed in the car holder as you drove through the dark and empty streets of L.A.

you didn’t know what to expect, what could have happened. you took deep and long breathes, your hands shaking as you gripped the steering wheel, your heart pounding.

“He was struck by lightning”

you knew all the risks that this job entailed, but this was something totally beyond your imagination. it was something impossible to predict.

you paced back and forth in the corner of the waiting room, not wanting to see the looks of pity from your friends. buck would be fine soon, he would face this like he faced everything else.

Eddie without saying a word stopped in front of you and waited until you noticed his presence, so he could hug you. and that’s exactly what you needed at the moment.

“only one of you can go and see him now”

before the doctor had finished his sentence you were at his side, walking with him to the room where your best friend, your fiancé, was.

and he was there. sedated. intubated. It’s like your world was one step away from falling apart. You’d never felt like this before, like control was out of your hands. you had it all figured out, all the plans, the dreams, the next steps, everything was millimetrically planned. and suddenly it wasn’t anymore. your eyes were on Buck lying on the gurney, in such a deep sleep, his face was confused, his frown slightly furrowed, as if he was in an argument, or frustrated.

a few days has passed and Buck’s condition was stable. the days had been grayer, your apartment was empty and you didn’t feel like working, at all. but you woke up every day, put a smile on your face and tried to be optimistic, you had faith that he would get well, he needed to. he needed to come back to you.

You didn’t know it, but 118 commented about you, they thought you were in a state of shock. you didn’t cry, quite the opposite, you always had a smile on your face. when someone was worried about Buck’s situation, you would put your hand on their shoulder and tell them that everything would be fine, that he would be back soon. Eddie was very worried. he knew you, and he knew that you were going to fall apart at any moment, and he hoped to be around when it happened.

you were coming into Buck’s room when you saw Chris talking to your unconscious fiancé, and your eyes automatically filled with tears. you kept quiet and stood in the corner watching the scene and could see Eddie drying his tears, and your heart sank. you needed the love of your life back, Eddie needed his best friend back, Chris needed his playmate back. Buck needed to come back, he needed to fill in the gaps that were open in so many hearts.

“hey buddy, how was your conversation with Buck?” you made yourself noticed when Chris finished talking to him and he smiled when he saw you.

“is he going to be okay right?” Eddie could see you trying hard to hold back the tears, something he didn’t even bother to hide anymore.

“of course sweety, he’ll come back to us”

***

it was mid-afternoon, you were sitting in the chair next to his bed, trying to read a book, when your mind started to take you to places you didn’t want to go. everything started coming at you hard, all these feelings. it was an anxiety crisis. you felt your heart pounding, difficulty in drawing in air, and tears began to fall.

you approached the bed and held tightly onto the hand of the man lying in that bed.

“babe I can’t do it anymore. I can’t put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t. I need you here with me. I know you’ll be fine, I know it. but Chris, Eddie, damn it, everyone, needs you back, we need you, I need you, and I don’t know how to go on without you here, I don’t know. So i need you to fight for me, for us, fight and win this battle babe, win it for me and don’t leave me, please don’t leave me”

And you couldn’t imagine it, but the other end of the line that connected Buck to this plan was in you. He clung to that, he clung to you, to the thought of having you again, and for that he fought, for you he broke the glass that separated him between dream and reality, between life and death, it was for you that everything was worth it. Because of you he would come back.

And he did it.

You could feel a grip on your hand, it was light, but it was there. your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat. this couldn’t be a reflex, you couldn’t believe it was. and it really wasn’t, your Buck was coming back, he was reacting.

As if he’d sensed it, Eddie appeared in the room with the coffee he’d gone to grab, at the exactly moment your knees failed, and he held you.

“I-Is he...?”

“Hey hey, calm down”

You couldn’t complete the sentence, and before your friend could question you, you heard a weak cough, it was Buck, he really was there. back to you.

You were holding Buck’s hand as if your life depended on it, and to be honest, it kind of did. you, who had never fallen in love in your life, were completely surrendered to those blue eyes that you had begged to see again.

You didn’t notice the moment Eddie left the room, but when your eyes met Buck’s, you burst into tears. He couldn’t say much, and you didn’t even need or want him to try, he was there, that’s all that mattered at the moment. you had your head resting on your intertwined hands on the bed, and the sobs coming from your lips left the words stuck in your throat and in your mind. Buck slowly and painfully raised his trembling hand, reaching your head and resting his hand there.

He waited until you calmed down, and his chest tightened at the way you looked at him. your lips trembling and your face wet from the tears that kept falling down your cheeks.

“you’re back”

“for you” his voice was weak and hoarse.

“I never thought I could love someone the way I love you, buck. please don’t do it again, I know I can’t take it one more time” your voice was low and trembling.

“I proposed to you, I had to come back to make sure it would happen,” he whispered with that little smile on his lips.

“You idiot, you made me a promise to love me for the rest of my days, I was going to pick you up wherever you were,” you replied in a whisper and placed a light kiss on his lips, afraid of hurting him.

“I love you, and i’m going to keep that promise” he said and you nodded your head.

that intimate moment between you lasted only a few minutes, then the nurses and doctor entered the room to check on Buck and as soon as they allowed his friends to come in, the mess was made. there was laughter and loud conversation, happy hugs and stories about the day of the accident, you could hear “too soon?” too many times in a short period of time and all you could do was laugh.

You could see the happiness in your fiancé’s eyes as everyone gathered around, and you finally felt your heart calm down. he was really there, he came back to you and you could finally live out your vivid dreams together.

[pansysgothgf]

Okay walk with me here…

Chris is in Texas with his parents. He’s still not talking to his dad, and by extension, Buck. He’s angry, confused, and being with his grandparents who fundamentally misunderstand him and his abilities. He’s struggling with his grief, with not understanding why his dad did what he did, and with missing someone who he’s so mad at.

Then he gets a call from his dad. He ignores it, and hears the home phone ring. He listens to his grandmother talk on the phone for a few minutes, in a hushed tone. It’s late here, past when his parents want him to go to bed but before when he’d sleep back home in Los Angeles.

His grandma cracks open the door, and sighs when she sees Chris is awake. “Your dad needs to talk to you. It’s… Christopher, it’s important you take his call.”

And that? That’s scary. His grandma hasn’t pushed him to talk to his dad in the month or so he’s been in El Paso, not like how his Abuelo has. So, Chris takes the call. For the first time since he stumbled out of his house, he hears his dad’s voice. It might as well have been a minute ago for how broken Eddie’s voice is.

Broken, because Buck got hurt at work. Badly hurt. His dad tells him they’re doing surgery, but that they don’t know what’ll happen. His dad tells him that he loves him, that it’s okay that he’s still hurt, that he just wanted Chris to hear it from him.

And Chris begs to come home. He packs his backpack as quickly as he can, he tells his grandma she can mail anything he forgot back home to him. He gets onto a redeye and thinks the name is appropriate. His eyes are red and swollen from tears. Because he didn’t hug Buck goodbye, because he left in the first place, because everything is so bleak right now.

His dad picks him up from the airport, and unlike when he left, when Chris comes home he clings onto his dad in a way he hasn’t since he was little. He explains that he’s still mad, that he isn’t ready to forgive his dad yet, but that he also isn’t going to leave again. His dad accepts it, asks if he wants to go home or to the hospital first. As if the answer isn’t obvious.

In the early hours of the morning, Eddie and Christopher Diaz sit on either side of Buck’s bed, holding either of his hands. Nothing is okay, not really, but when Buck’s hand twitches in Chris’ grasp and Eddie chokes out a sob while gently resting his forehead against Buck’s, Chris feels like he can see the sun peeking through the clouds.

[drunkenskunk]

Meanwhile, en route to the Icebreaker...

All was quiet on the Dragon's Tooth. The old IPS-N clipper being used as the home-away-from-Hell's-Gate for the Strategic Response Team was currently on its braking burn towards the Icebreaker Borealis, and the ship's clocks had all been set to the station's local time. As a result, it was close to “one in the morning,” and nearly everyone on board was asleep.

A hatch suddenly opened onto the mech bay. Scarlet stepped through the open door, wearing only a tank top and sweatpants. A part of her knew she shouldn't be walking around in here with bare feet, but she was worried about making too much noise. In fact, she was worried about a lot of things...

Before she knew it, she was standing before her mech: Big Red. An old Everest, battle scarred and rough around the edges, she'd been slowly tinkering with and upgrading the ancient beast over her last several months on the team. What stood out the most was the armored “boombox” she'd had custom fitted to the right shoulder. It housed the barrels, rotor assembly, and firing mechanism of the Leviathan heavy assault cannon, fed by a pair of armored ammo belts and connected to the immense ammo drum mounted on the back. It wasn't the newest addition, but it was certainly the most obvious, especially when compared to the other assault mechs in the militia's rank-and-file.

The war machine was still harnessed and braced in its alcove, completely immobile and powered down: exactly as she'd left it several hours earlier. That wouldn't have been notable, had it not been for the unexpected... calamity from earlier. And it was why she was here right now.

See, Scarlet had ordered some explosive vents for Big Red some time ago; after all, heat buildup during the last few fights was becoming a bit of an issue, so she might as well put that heat to some good use, right? But for one reason or another, she had kept putting off the installation. This was likely because everything had become Completely Fucked in Calliope ever since the arrival of all those warship fleets in system. She'd been way too busy running “all hands, repel boarders” combat drills with a lot of the Hell's Gate militia, on the ever-increasingly-likely chance that they'd need it.

Now that the SRT was on their way to the Icebreaker, she had plenty of time, and Agarin even offered to help her get them installed. Getting the physical parts slotted into the mech went as smooth as every other installation in the past, and everything seemed to be going fine. And then she powered up the mech to install the firmware updates.

The instant the fusion core spun up, the machine started moving all on it's own, ignoring any commands and struggling against the restraints and maintenance catwalks holding it in place. Big Red's distinctive purr – a clicking sound with an unknown source the mech would occasionally make – had turned into a ferocious, almost animalistic roar that Scarlet was sure must have echoed throughout the entire ship. The whole machine bucked and writhed uncontrollably, very nearly ripping the umbilicals out of the bay, and if Scarlet hadn't been strapped in by the assault harness and connected through the cranial jack at the base of her skull, she was sure she would have been tossed right out of the open cockpit like a ragdoll.

Just as she felt like her options were running out, Agarin had hopped into the open cockpit with a grace that she thought shouldn't have been possible for someone so damn tall (did that tail of his help with balance?). He was intent on interfacing with the mech using some of his implants and technical know-how in the hope that the two of them working together could get the machine to calm down... but as soon as the handsome dragon man plugged himself in, everything just got worse.

In truth, Scarlet could barely remember everything that happened. Big Red misidentified Agarin's presence in the system as an attack, battering him through the connection with words like INTRUDER, INTERLOPER, and HOSTILE, repeated over and over again... and because she was hard-wired into the machine as well, her mind was also hit with the same mental assault.

Combat recordings from dozens – maybe hundreds – of past engagements flooded both of their minds. Indescribable death and carnage on an unthinkable scale that she had never before witnessed. Screams of the dead, entire worlds on fire, and the machines who burned them. Pilots murdered by the score, one after the other, their names and faces blending together. Recordings, information, tactical data, and images force-fed directly into her brain through the cranial jack, overloading her senses and layering on top of one another until the horror and anger and pain of it all melted into nothing but noise.

The whole experience only lasted for a few minutes, but it had felt like hours.

What she did remember clearly was Agarin doing some kind of Clanner Space Magic to ask her a simple question: “Do you trust me?” And while she responded with as an enthusiastic “yes” as she could possibly muster right then and there, it was like the mech had also been given pause by the question. Before she knew it, the connection in her mind began to fade, and the mech powered down of its own volition.

That was several hours ago. She stared up at the wedge-shaped head of her mech, and the distinctive mass of cracks around the left optical unit. She half expected it to start moving again to look at her, but the trio of cameras remained shuttered, and the head was still and immobile.

“Can't sleep?” came a voice from behind her, and Scarlet practically jumped out of her skin. She wheeled around and was face-to-holographic-face with Siren, the Dragon's Tooth NHP pilot. She had her arms folded across her chest, and she was looking at Scarlet with a curious expression. Was that amusement or annoyance?

“Wh- I- well... no.” Scarlet stammered out eventually. She brushed some errant strands of red hair out of her face. “I'm just... y'know, I'm still... still just a bit on edge from earlier, yeah?”

“And you thought checking in on your haunted mech in the middle of the night would take the edge off?” Siren asked, tilting her head with her mouth cracking into a smirk.

“Hey, c'mon, Big Red ain't haunted, I just...” she tried to wave it off dismissively, but Scarlet briefly looked over her shoulder to glance up at her mech – as if checking to make sure it was, indeed, still not moving – and then quickly turned back at Siren. “Look, I know we're headin' to the Icebreaker for that party bein' thrown by the Kingdom Aniline or whoever, but you know what things've been like lately. Fer all we know, we're headin' into another fight, an' I... I just wanna make sure he's good t'go, and isn't gonna freak out. Don't want any more surprises.”

“Sorry marine, I'm not letting you boot up that thing again while we're in transit and without proper support,” Siren shook her head. “I heard about the Vent Crab Incident back on the Gate, and I'm not letting you blow any holes in my ship.”

Scarlet screwed up her face in frustration. Apparently that fake Muse post Pearce made a while back (do mechs even know what they're doing or do they just see crab flowing down a vent and think “absolutely not”) was still floating around the Omninet. And, sure, she had accidentally blown up a vent crab (and several bulkheads) with a mech scale rifle round that day, but she didn't even have a Muse account!

“I promise I'm just gonna run some diagnostics,” Scarlet said, holding up her hands in what she hoped was a disarming gesture. “I'll keep him in low-power, won't even spin up th' reactor. Just wanna be sure everything is fine, so I can put my worries to bed an' get some sleep.”

Siren was quiet for a minute, scrutinizing the mech pilot. The holographic NHP eventually sighed and shrugged.

“Alright, go on. But I'll be keeping an eye on things, and I'll have my hand on the kill-switch the second I even get a whiff that something is about to go wrong.”

“Hey now, you don't ha-” Scarlet began, but Siren held up a blue shimmering finger.

“These terms are non-negotiable, marine. Now go on, check on the spooky boy, I'll keep watch from here. But do try and be quick about it. I've got some friends in a game of Fleet Command 5016 on standby, and I don't want to leave them hanging for too long.”

And with that, the Siren hologram winked away.

Scarlet turned on her heel, scampered up the access later, and popped the cockpit hatch as quick as she could, just on the off chance Siren decided to have a change of heart. Once she got settled in the command couch, she flipped a series of switches to start the mech in low-power mode. While the monitors and consoles around her began to hum softly, warming up into a diagnostic boot sequence, she reached behind her head, feeling around for the metal jack behind her seat. She moved her ponytail out of the way with her free hand, and slotted the jack into her cranial port with the other.

The connection was immediate and made her grit her teeth, just like always: a sharp electric buzz at the base of her skull that blossomed into icy fingers prodding inside her brain. The sensation wormed its way down through her neck and flooded her extremities until everything tingled uncomfortably, as if her whole body had fallen asleep for half a second. Then the sensation passed, and a relative equilibrium was achieved between Scarlet and her war machine.

“Alright big guy,” Scarlet said, trying to blink away the sparkles on the edges of her vision. “Tell me what ails you.”

The low clicking reverberated through the cockpit in response, and words quickly typed themselves out on one of the monitors.

<<HOSTILE ARCHITECTURE DETECTED>>

“Hostile architecture?” Scarlet said aloud. “Wait, y'mean the new parts?” She figured that was probably the problem, but she still wasn't entirely clear as to why.

The mech rumbled. A different monitor on the other side of the cockpit flipped on, and began to playback a recording. This was one of the many recordings that had been force-fed in her brain earlier, but it took Scarlet a minute to realize that was what she was looking at. After all, seeing an image on a monitor was a slightly different experience than a video feed overlaid with tactical and sensor data flowing around it like water, and transmitted directly into her mind through a cranial jack. Especially when there had been so much other information to parse.

The recording looked like it was the camera feed of a broken mech lying motionless on the ground, surrounded by rubble. It was hard to tell from the quality and angle of the recording, but she was pretty sure the mech this recording came from was much bigger than an Everest. Even so, the mech itself wasn't the focus: it was the inferno all around. It was like the whole world had been set on fire, and through the heat haze, she could see crude juggernauts marching past in formation. The recording shook with every stomp of their heavy boots, and streams of liquid fire surged from titanic flamethrowers.

More words began to type themselves on the other monitor, drawing her attention:

<<Rec:4533u//Hercynia-MycolFields//Varano,J.(Clover)//DECEASED>>

Scarlet turned back to the recording, with slightly better understanding. This was from 483 years ago? She knew this mech was old, but she had no idea it was that old. Hell, she didn't think the Everest frame was that old. Was that why it looked so different, and... so much larger? Had this machine not always been an Everest? The techs back on Hell's Gate had always joked that the “Rage Machine” was an ancient piece of shit, but... did anyone actually know how old this beast was?

And then there was that word that stood out to her for some reason: Hercynia. That was... Agarin mentioned something about that, after he got Big Red to calm down earlier, hadn't he? Her memory was still a bit fuzzy about that. Hercynia was... it was a planet somewhere, wasn't it? She wasn't entirely sure.

“Hang on, somethin' else is botherin' me. What are those?” Scarlet leaned forward, squinting her eyes, trying in vain to get the grainy picture on the monitor to come into focus. “Those mechs stompin' around, they kinda look familiar, but... hell, if I didn't know better, I'd say they were the same kinda frame Andros Capella was drivin' when he came out of that fire gate.”

Big Red seemed to shudder at the mention of Andros Capella... though, it was probably more accurate to say it sent a shudder up Scarlet's spine, directly through the cranial jack.

“Heh... yeah, I feel ya, big guy. You wanted a crack at him, same as I did.” Scarlet started to chuckle, and patted one of the consoles. “Well, look on the bright side: Pearce murked him, what? Four times in the last fight? An' Cassilda punched him t'death the first time. We'll probably get a crack at him ourselves, eventually.”

The clicking sound briefly grew in volume, before settling back down again.

“Alright, so these mechs yer showin' me. What are they, anyway?”

Another monitor above her and to her left winked on. It showed a wireframe of the mechs in the recording, clearly generated from what looked a mixture of official schematics and tactical data. Again, words began to type themselves out, drawing her attention.

<<U-MEF//GMS-UPA.1//Mk-1.Genghis//Worldkiller>>

“Wait, Genghis? That doesn't look like a-” but she cut herself off before she could finish her thought, as another one intruded. The Harrison Armory license she'd accessed to order the explosive vents was for the Mk II Genghis. Mark 2. She'd always wondered about that. Scarlet looked back up at the wireframe: this squat, brutal looking monster of a mech definitely cut a significantly different silhouette than the smaller, slimmer, sleeker frame of the Mk II... but the more she looked, the more she could see the resemblance.

Before she had a chance to ponder that any further, all the monitors cleared themselves, as a string of more words on the first monitor appeared.

<<Protocol 1: Link To Pilot>> <<Protocol 2: Uphold The Mission>> <<Protocol 3: Protect The Pilot>> <<ERROR//PROTOCOL CONFLICT//ERROR>> <<HOSTILE ARCHITECTURE DETECTED>> <<PROTOCOL 3 IN JEOPARDY>>

“Y'know what... after seein' all that? I don't blame ya for takin' that stance,” Scarlet reached up to scratch at her head. “I wouldn't want somethin' from those big fuckers in me either.”

Big Red rumbled again.

“Protect the pilot...” Scarlet muttered under her breath. “Well... I dunno if it'll help things, but... that's the whole reason I got these parts. I wasn't thinkin' of where they came from, but what they could do fer us, y'know?” She gestured with her thumb above her right shoulder. “That big fuck-off assault cannon we got from the Drake license generates a lot of heat, and I'm not sure I know how to squeeze in any more heat sinks without sacrificin' some structure.”

The screen winked clear, and another string appeared in its place.

<<...PROCESSING...>>

“Hell, if you don't believe me, believe what Agarin told ya earlier. We're all part of a team. Agarin, Fern, Cassilda... hell, even Pearce and that gaggle of NHP's he's been collectin' like playing cards. We all look out fer each other. We all make sure we come out the other side of every fight in one piece. An' that's all I was tryin' to do, yeah? Use whatever I can to keep myself alive, so I can find my Five Minutes, an' keep all them alive.” Scarlet let out a heavy sigh. “I... hell, I don't know if I'm makin' any sense. Am I makin' sense?”

The clicking steadied, and Big Red rumbled in sympathy.

<CONDITIONS//ACCEPTABLE>> <<PROTOCOL CONFLICT//RESOLVED>>

The monitor flickered, and one more message scrolled past:

<<Protocol 3>> <<I will not lose another Pilot>>

“Yeah, don't you worry 'bout a thing, big man,” Scarlet patted one of the nearby consoles. “I'm not goin' anywhere.”

With that, she flipped the switches to fully power down the mech. The connection at the base of her skull went cold, as the monitors winked off and the hum of the consoles fell silent. She reached behind her head to disconnect the cerebral jack, and she sat nestled there in the command couch, waiting for the pins and needles sensation of neurons firing at stimuli no longer present to subside.

And as she sat there, surrounded by silence and darkness, a memory crossed her mind. An errant thread, begging to be pulled.

The memory was one of the visions she'd seen, when the team had been caught in that paracausal labyrinth deep beneath the surface of Botzmann. She still wasn't quite sure of how any of that shit worked, or how a cascading NHP was responsible, but it was like reality itself had been cut up and stitched back together; even time didn't make sense, experiencing pasts that never were, and impossible futures that still might be. And while Scarlet was lost, separated from the others, she had stumbled across a mirror. No words were said, but she somehow knew what it was the moment she saw her reflection looking back at her.

This Scarlet stared at her with tired, empty eyes. She was old and grey, with hands covered in blood... but none of it her own. A trail of death and carnage followed behind her. This was a Scarlet that had never found her Last Five Minutes, because she'd deliberately avoided finding them at any cost. This Scarlet was so good at keeping herself alive, that she had become the last one standing.

This was who she feared she could become.

“Yeah...” she said aloud, to no one in particular. “Guess I'm not goin' anywhere.”

[lover-of-mine]

could you please tell us more about why you think chris would freak out? 😊

Okay, I have been thinking this since 4x08 with Chris freaking out about the idea of Eddie dating in general. But the bottom line is, Chris has a delicious shade of abandonment issues. Eddie wasn't there when he was a baby, Shannon left, and then she died, his grandparents were as constant in his life as his mother and now he only sees them every once in a while, Isabel was constant in LA but she's back in Texas now, you can even make an argument that he felt left by Buck during the lawsuit, because while I do think Eddie was hiding behind Chris to say he missed Buck, Chris was attached enough to Buck to feel the fact that Buck suddenly disappeared a for a while (I like to believe Buck showed up at the house with a pile of legos and a bear like the one they won before the tsunami after, but, well, from a kid's perspective as month is a year, it might've been enough to create something there anyway), especially with everything that had happened to Christopher that year, Shannon dying, the tsunami, Chris worrying about Eddie's state of mind, Chris was at the barbecue and we have no idea what he saw or didn't see about Buck throwing up blood, so he had enough traumatic experiences in quick succession to do something to his brain before he was even 10. We also have a layer to play with if the show decides to go there, but the long-term effects of lockdown on a child were a lot more intense than in someone with a fully developed brain because their lives shut down and they didn't have the tools to deal with it and a child needs the interaction with other people and they were not getting that, and if adults struggled with it, imagine how a 10 yo with a first responder parent who couldn't stay with him felt, ykwim? We see that manifesting in season 4, Chris is scared that dating means leaving, he thinks that Eddie bringing someone into their lives just means someone else who will leave him. And we saw at the beginning of the season that he still believes that to be true. He has that moment of it's okay to play around because it doesn't matter if they love you, they will leave anyway. Chris most likely doesn't remember most of life in Texas with Shannon, and even when he's old enough to understand the circumstances around Shannon leaving, it will still have scarred him forever. And that kid has lived through one parent dying, the other in a hospital when he wasn't allowed to visit due to covid, and a constant safe adult he literally saw in a hospital bed. It doesn't matter if the show ever states Buck in a parental position for Chris before he becomes "stepdad Buck", Buck is one of the two safe adults Chris runs to in a crisis, exemplified by the way even though he's being raised by two first responders, his instinct when Eddie had his breakdown was not to call 911, it was to call Buck. We have enough to speculate that yes, Chris sees Buck as a parent in some degree, but we do know for a fact that Buck is an adult Chris trusts.

So, we have Chris with the mother of all abandonment issues of the show, which is saying something considering who he's up against, we have Eddie and Buck being the two constants when it comes to adults, and just the general concept of safety that he has had in the past few years, so Eddie and Buck are the two people Chris is scared the most to lose, Eddie for obvious reasons, and we see that reflected with Buck with him forcing Eddie and Carla to let him visit him so he can beg Buck to come back. But Chris is also watching both Eddie and Buck FUMBLE through romantic relationships. Like, they are BAD at romantic relationships, and, like, even Taylor was brought into Chris' life and then vanished, I'm not saying he got particularly attached to Taylor, but she was in his house, she lived with Buck, for an 11 yo that's as serious as it's gonna get, and then that ended too. So what Chris is picking up here is that romantic love means people leaving. Like, that was literally the conclusion he reached on his own when it came to dating. He understands that Shannon loved them and that there was love between Eddie and Shannon, but he only thought about the way she left that love. We also have everything about Marisol. Everything about her is about babysitting Chris, so he has a decent relationship with her, and she was moving in. I doubt that Chris didn't know that, but that's another development that got canceled and we know Marisol is not here to stay, so yet another relationship Eddie completely fumbled.

So take all that and put it next to the idea of Eddie and Buck becoming a couple. We know buddie is endgame. We outsiders with all the information watching as all-seeing gods waiting for them to just get their shit together know that when they get together, there's no separating them, that's it. Chris doesn't know that. He knows he loves Eddie. He knows he loves Buck. He knows none of them ever managed to make a romantic relationship work. And he thinks that romantic love means leaving. So Eddie and Buck dating means losing Buck. The only conclusion Chris is gonna reach here is "Buck is gonna leave" so he's gonna freak out. He's a teenager. Half of being that age is feeling things too intensely and the other half is reacting as intensely. He reacted like that to the idea of Ana and it wasn't even about someone he knew yet. Chris having The Tamtrun about Eddie dating someone he loves makes perfect sense. Because Chris doesn't know what a successful relationship looks like, sure, there are his grandparents, but he's not around them enough, and even then his grandfather travels a lot for work anyway so what would he have seen when he was kid, and a kid learns love from their parents. Eddie and Shannon were a disaster from Chris pov. They loved each other but she still left, so what does it take for a relationship to work? Because isn't it the thing we teach kids with fairytales and stuff? That love conquers it all? But he understands enough to know that's not true. Chris may know Buck and Eddie love each other in some degree, the same way he knows he loves Buck, and the same way he knows Buck loves him, but the instinct there would be to fight the change in their relationship because he doesn't want Buck to leave. If everyone Eddie or Buck dated disappeared from his life, what's stopping Buck from leaving him if they break up? Most likely scenario is that he would get big mad at Buck because the change in the dynamic will trigger his abandonment issues, and he's 13, so he's not gonna be rational about it. And that would create some interesting tension in the way that when Chris is mad at his parents, he opens up to Buck, if he's mad at Eddie and Buck, who is he gonna open up to? This is absolutely the type of thing that would make their dynamic stronger in the long run, but it would take a minute for Chris to get to the point where he's ready to talk about the fact that he's scared of the change, it would even take him a minute to probably get to that conclusion himself, because again, the horrors of being 13 are real. Chris himself might struggle to figure out why does the idea make him mad. And Buck and Eddie can't reassure him if they don't know what's wrong. They can't promise they won't break up either. So how do they navigate that?

Because Chris is the priority, they would never do anything that would hurt Chris intentionally, but I also think they would be like "I don't want to break up because he's mad" because that would be proving Chris' fear that they won't stay together right. And I kinda think this is the only route they can go with Chris' reaction because this isn't some "my divorced parents are getting back together" situation, Chris has no reason to hope for Buck and Eddie to get together, so I don't see how he would've already processed that. Sure, if they had gotten together when Chris was 10, he probably would've been a lot more chill about it, but Chris as a teenager? He's gonna freak out. That's literally the only logical conclusion here. And considering the beginning of the season, and the way he was handling dating, AND the way he opened up about it to Buck, all the pieces for that to happen are on the table. Buck has a relationship with Chris outside of Eddie, and obviously, Buck and Eddie are, yk, *motions vaguely* but actually getting Buck and Eddie together would add tension to the existing dynamic between the 3 of them. And it is a way to add conflict to buddie without adding the idea that they don't love each other or don't know how to handle the switch or might not be good at being a couple, because navigating this situation would just prove how solid they are. It's all there. The question is if they are gonna go for it or not.

[humblequestvinyl]

mountain with a view

MOUNTAIN WITH A VIEW, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE ‘ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT’ SERIES

SUMMARY: after one too many late nights, y/n l/n is sitting at their kitchen table, debating if her and her husband's marriage is even worth fighting for.

inspired by mountain with a view, by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase is intentional! wc: 1.9k

warning: angst!!!!! swearing, marriage problems, trust issues (?) if there’s anything i missed let me know!

a/n: AHHH NEW SERIES W EDDIE <33! i'm so excited for this!! also my deepest apologies in advance bc i am so mean to eddie in this LMFAOO hope u guys enjoy <333

“COUNTRY STAR Y/N L/N HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HER HUSBAND, EDDIE DIAZ AFTER FIVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.”

the voice of a news reporter flooded through the tv as photos of the former couple were placed on the screen. 

“L/N on instagram asked her fans on instagram to be mindful, and that both parties are fragile, and to respect their privacy.”the reporter went on, before a photo flashed of the h/c girl, “L/N is currently gearing up for her fifth album release; SUBJECT TO CHANGE this september.”

the video came to a stop, and she saw her best friend standing in front of her, with a horrified look on his face, “you and eddie are getting a divorce?” her heart hurt. this wasn’t how she wanted him to find out.

“it was bound to happen buck.”y/n’s voice was strained due to all of the crying she had done for the past two months, with a heavy feeling in her chest, “you and i both saw this coming.”

“i didn’t.” evan buckley’s voice dropped, and y/n slipped the shades to the top of her head, revealing her bloodshot eyes, “never once did i see this coming.”

“this wasn’t how we wanted you to find out.”her voice cracked, playing with the strings of her hoodie, “eddie said he was going to call you about it.” buck’s eyes watched as the girl avoided his eyes, refusing to make contact with them, knowing if she did she would probably burst into tears.

“why did you file for divorce?”

(TWO MONTHS BEFORE.)

STARING OUT THE BIG OPEN WINDOWS OF THEIR PENTHOUSE,

y/n could see the sun rising as she finished making breakfast for her and her stepson, making sure to leave some for her husband in case he came home in time.

eddie diaz and y/n l/n had first met when she was 21, and he was 23, one kick-starting on their music career, while one had just become a single parent to a son from a former marriage. somehow, they still made it work. getting married at 23 and 25,  going from texas, to los angeles, becoming a mother figure to his son chris, and making sure she could still go on tour.

they thought they had it all figured out, with everything working and a fixed schedule.

until they didn't.

so here she sat, waiting for her husband to come home while her stepson got ready for school, knowing she’d have to force a smile, make everything seem like it was okay, and be able to play the part of the perfect wife, perfect wife. it wasn’t until she smelt smoke that y/n realized the toast was burnt to absolute crisp, and was ruined, meaning she’d have to make more.  

“shit.”she muttered, rushing to make more, as she saw chris come down the hallway, and she forced a smile, brushing her h/c hair out of her face, making sure to tie it back.

“did you burn the toast again?”chris asked with a smile, and y/n forced a laugh, nodding before she brought over a plate with pancakes and eggs on them. “unfortunately, i did. i’m making more right now.”

a knock on the front door came, before it opened, revealing carla, and she had a wide smile spread across her face as she came in, and y/n waved as the toast popped up, less burnt than before. quickly placing it on a plate, and putting it on the table, making it so chris would be able to get to school on time.

“you go get ready for the day, i’ll make sure chris eats.”carla told the 28 year old, giving her a soft smile, and y/n nodded, before rushing off towards her room, and grabbing the clothing she needed for that day.

walking into the bathroom after she had changed, her eyes glanced down, seeing a wedding band that wasn’t hers sitting on the counter. 

it was her husband’s.

she felt anger run through her, with a million thoughts racing through her mind. why would he take it off? or why did he leave it at home? did he forget it? did he take it off intentionally before he left for work? 

why did he take it off?

“bye n/n!’chris yelled, breaking the girl out of her thoughts, and she gripped the counter, trying to keep her anger under check. “have a good day at school chris!”she yelled back, and the front door slammed, as she took a deep breath in.

it was a few moments before she walked back out towards the kitchen, noticing everything was put away, except for the burnt toast. opening up her refrigerator, y/n grabbed the butter out, and brought it over towards the kitchen table, before spreading the butter against the toast, and taking a bite out of it.

her eyes scanned back over the mountains as the clock struck 7:30 am, realizing her husband was over three hours late coming home, and had missed seeing his son in the morning for the second time that week.

it killed her. it absolutely killed her that he wasn’t coming home, and she was the one who was carrying all of that weight on her shoulders, trying to keep this marriage going when it was all one sided. she felt like a glass plate, and was breaking into a million pieces.

hearing boots come towards her, her head snapped towards it, seeing her husband eddie diaz walking towards her, before placing a kiss on the top of her head, with no words spoken between the two.  the tension in the air made her uncomfortable. it was so thick that you could almost cut it through it with a knife.

it was a while before any words were spoken between the two, and when they were, they were laced with anger and confusion.

“you left your ring at home.”y/n spoke up, taking another bite of the burnt toast, afraid to see the look her husband was giving her, “and you were late coming home again.”

“i forgot it when i left.”eddie admitted, glancing over at his wife for a moment, before looking back at his plate of food, “and i was finishing up something with buck.”

wrong. he wasn’t with buck, because buck had texted y/n back at five, saying he hadn’t seen eddie since he left his shift at 4am. 

“what? you don’t believe me?”eddie questioned, as y/n got up to throw the toast away, keeping silent for a moment, debating on how to handle the situation, before she shook her head no.

“i don’t believe you.”y/n admitted, placing the plate in the sink, avoiding eye contact with him, and she could feel the anger radiating off of him, “because buck texted me at five that he hadn’t seen you since you left your shift at four.”

she saw eddie freeze, knowing he had gotten caught into a lie, and y/n had seen right through it. he wouldn’t be able to hide whatever he was away for.

“okay fine, i wasn’t with buck.”eddie admitted, causing y/n to lean up against the kitchen counter, facing her husband to read his body language.

“so, where were you?”

“i don’t understand why you need to know.”eddie shrugged, getting defensive, causing y/n to read all the red flag, “it doesn’t matter to you at all.”

“it does matter to me eddie.”y/n spoke softly, fearing of an argument breaking out, but it was enviable with the two. “i want to make sure you’re not sitting in the goddamn morgue.”

“well guess what, i’m not.”eddie spewed, catching y/n off guard, “i’m standing right in front of you, trying to eat breakfast while you’re bothering me.”

“because i want for you to realize that i’m worried about you.”she told him, and she could tell he was dismissive, “i wait up for you every night, only for you to not come home until chris is about to leave for school.”

“and i never asked you to do that.”he stabbed his eggs with his fork, and y/n tensed up, “that’s your own doing for staying up and waiting.” y/n gave him a look as she took his words like gut punches, making her absolutely sick, “maybe you should just stop staying up and waiting.”

“maybe you should come home on time.”y/n shot back, folding her arms as she watched him closely, “to the family you have. to your son.”

“i do!”eddie defended, and y/n shook her head, “no you don’t! for the past four months you’ve been late coming home after every single shift eddie!” 

“you’re forgetting your ring, you’re not coming home on time and you’re distant.”y/n pointed out as eddie brushed past her to put his plate in the sink, and walked towards their shared bathroom, slipping his wedding band on, “there! are you happy now?”

“no i’m not!”y/n exclaimed as eddie started to change, and she followed him, “we’ve been in and out of therapy for the past three years and absolutely nothing has changed eddie. i’m so tired of it.”

“i mentally cannot handle another year of us being just fine.”y/n whispered, causing eddie to snap his head towards her, with a shocked look spread across his face, “what are you trying to say?”

“i want a divorce.”y/n spoke aloud, making all of her feelings real, and she saw eddie’s face fall.

“you want a divorce? all because i’m taking extra shifts to try and provide for our family? to pay for the mortgage for the house you insisted we had to have.”he shot back, and y/n felt her anger bubble over, causing her to snap, “you don’t even pay for the house! i do! it’s under my name and everything! not yours!”

“i’m the one who pays for the cleaners, the groceries, the electric!”she yelled, as the two stood in their bedroom, one that hadn’t felt like theirs in months. “i feel like i’m the only one who’s doing all the work all the time because you’re never home!”

“you loved me way more at 23 than you do now eddie, and that's a fact.”she told him as she brushed past him to pack a bag, “i cannot keep doing this anymore.”

“you’re just like your parents. giving up way too easy on our marriage.” eddie swore, and y/n felt something snap inside of her. “first off, don’t you dare talk about my parents! secondly, i have tried for months to get through to you.”

“you’re the one who never came to nashville when i called you begging to hop on that flight, one i paid for by the way!”y/n exclaimed, zipping up the bag she had packed, “i knew you had the week off and didn’t have chris at all and you still refused to come.”

“i’m done trying eddie.”she finished, before storming past him and walking towards the front door of their penthouse.

“so you’re done?”he questioned as she grabbed her car keys, and opened up the front door, staring right back at him with tears in her e/c eyes.

“this is when it’s over for me.”

[eddiediazismyhusband]

😈 I wanna know more about the homophobic Marisol, it sounds amazing and heartbreaking at the same time

😈 - "I Don't Wanna Miss You Like This (Come Back, Be Here)" or the 'Homophobic!Marisol' fic.

----------

Buck had never seen Eddie looking so small as he did in that moment. He sat one one of the barstools across from Buck- his head in his hands as he recounted his side of the past few days to him. He wanted so badly to cross around the island and pull Eddie into his arms- to hold the man close and tell him that everything was okay.

He was also filled with the urge to track down Marisol and ask her what the hell her problem was. Hearing how distressed Eddie had been after the conversation with Helena, combined with the way the man was sitting absolutely helpless in Buck’s kitchen brought back an onslaught of unwelcome memories- the pungent smell of rosy perfume, the plush sofa, Dr. Welles straddling him, placing a firm kiss on his lips before he could really process what was happening. 

It had taken Buck years to admit what that had been- to admit that he had not consented to being used like that; that he had been taken advantage of in an emotionally vulnerable state. It wasn’t until Eddie had sat down after hearing Chim and Hen joking about it that Buck had the realization that he was in fact a victim. Eddie had been the one who had convinced Buck to go speak to Bobby about it- to have something done in order to make sure Dr. Welles never hurt anyone the way she hurt Buck again.

Now, Eddie sat in his kitchen- head in his hands- telling Buck that Marisol had practically done the same thing to him.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that,” Eddie sighed, shaking his head. “I wasn’t ready- I keep fucking everything up.”

Buck felt his skin heat up in agitation at that. “You’re not responsible for this, Eddie. She was the one who saw you in an emotionally vulnerable state, she was the one who took advantage of that.”

“She didn’t take advantage of me, Buck…” Eddie muttered.

“I disagree,” Buck retorted. “And the Eddie from a few months ago who sat and had this exact same conversation with me about Dr. Welles would agree with me.”

He noticed Eddie blanche at those words, opening his mouth, searching for what to say. “I- W- well, that was different, Buck-”

“How?” Buck asked, turning to face Eddie directly. “How was it any different?”

“Marisol is my girlfriend,” Eddie pointed out.

“Yeah, which makes it worse,” Buck seethed. “Tell me truthfully, if Marisol had been upset and crying about something similar, would it have been okay for you to ‘distract her’ with sex? Would that have even been the first thing on your mind?”

Buck of course knew the answer to that question before Eddie spoke, but he got a small sense of satisfaction knowing he had gotten through his friend’s head. He watched as Eddie’s face fell down, his expression clear that he knew Buck was right.

Buck knew from personal experience how hard it was to admit to being a victim- to admit that you had been taken advantage of in that way. He knew how empty and shallow Eddie must be feeling in that moment- he knew that Eddie was probably confused and blindsided that someone he thought cared about him was capable of something like this. He could see it written all over his face.

----------

:) don't hate me guys <3

[mamahersh]

Mamahersh’s Post-MAG-200 Fanfic Recommendation Mega Thread

@a-mag-a-day

In celebration of us finishing The Magnus Archives (even if I admittedly fell off around S2 and have been mostly lurking since then), I have compiled all of my fave post series fics for your enjoyment! I will be grouping them in some big, general categories, which I’ll list above the read more here. Depending on the size of this post, it might start looking a bit like that “Do you like the sky?” post But I can assure you that I have read all of these and can give them my stamp of approval!

If you finished the series and were wishing for your best boys to finally be happy, then boy howdy do I have some fanfiction for you!

Time Travel

Somewhere Else

AUs

Uncategorized JonMartin Fluff

By these categories, we should hopefully cover all the recommendations I have, and I hope you all find some new fics! (or enjoy rereading fics you haven’t enjoyed in awhile)

TIME TRAVEL

where there’s a will, we make a way by bubonickitten

"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself?

What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first."

________________________

Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

Probably my fave time travel fic in this fandom hands down; it is also currently the longest whilst still unfinished. While I try not to recommend unfinished fics that I am uncertain of their return to activity, this is a big exception and personally I love everything about it! It’s got Jon dealing with trauma through the lens of his speaking only in Statements, Martin being saved from his downward spiral into the Lonely way earlier in S4, Georgie actually sticking around, Basira having a better grasp of the situation and being more understanding about it, and everyone generally sticking close to character while managing to buck parts of the narrative. I cannot recommend this fic enough, and I very likely already did back near the start of S5.

Something’s Different About You Lately by thesnadger

Jonathan Sims has been head archivist for just a few months, but he has memories of holding the position for years. He remembers monsters, and darkness, and the end of the world. Somehow, he'll have to keep everyone safe from what's coming. Meanwhile, his assistants can't understand why their prickly jerk of a boss has gone sappy all of a sudden.

So TMA time travel fics that focus on Jon going back tend to come in two varieties. There’s the “Jon’s mind goes back and replaces himself/inhabits his past self’s body” and then there’s the “Jon physically goes back so there’s two Jons”. The first two on this list are of the first variety, and if I remember right this was one of the first I ever read. However, I recommend this one specifically because this has an amazing ending. Like, it might just be me, but many of the endings in these feel relatively unsatisfying because there’s magically a third option where Jon comes out unscathed while saving his S1 archives crew from the Horrors. For whatever reason, it was incredibly satisfying having a fic that didn’t shy away from the options presented in S4 and S5 and I love how they characterize everyone in this one as well.

100 Seconds to Midnight by starspangledbread

Jon and Martin find themselves back in 2011 after attempting to release the fears from their reality. The world is the same one they left behind, but now something has come back with them. They have a chance to destroy the fears once and for all, but it proves harder than expected. Who knew that the best laid plans could be thwarted by nosy co-workers, office romance, the inevitable learning curve of being a time traveler turned grifter, and the refusal to believe in subtlety?

Did someone say Extinction!Jon? This also is a part of a series, though the true sequel to this one is currently unfinished (though it should eventually be completed and only has one chapter to go). An excellent romp, I definitely recommend if you’re looking for something kinda dark, some comedy, a little OOC, and Martin being able to embrace his crime side in the name of saving the world.

Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey

"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking. The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him. "I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint. -------- Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.

Written by my fave (and most prolific) JMart author, we have a perfect example of the other kind of time travel fix it fic in the form of Jon physically travelling to the past to try and save the world. As expected by someone I am calling my fave JMart author, we’re going to be getting double dose on the JMart. I highly recommend if you’re looking for something that starts a little bittersweet, but then ends in copious amounts of fluff.

Reverb (Series) by Wolftraps

Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.

Summary from the first fic in the Reverb series, I highly recommend the first two fics in this series for different reasons. “The Reverb in These Holy Halls” is a great time travel fic that takes some really interesting turns by the end and unlike most fics actually has Jon try to keep Tim safe by keeping him out of the Archives pre-S1. However “Gossip” I recommend if you enjoy those fics formatted to look like official communication of some kind. It’s got people outside the Archives trying to figure out what’s wrong with them during the events of the first fic, and while it would be very confusing to read without the first fic, I’d almost say it’s worth it if you aren’t feeling the tags on the first one. Really fun and entertaining, you can’t go wrong with either one.

The Triumph of Galatea (for Acis is transformed) by TheOestofOCs

Statement of Hazel Rutter.

Jon couldn’t stop reading.

The Fears, however, are a bit more powerful than Jonah gave them credit for. Jon opens the door, but the world can’t hold what’s on the other side.

Time falls through, instead. Past becomes present, and the future is undone.

Statement begins.

Another fic I definitely recommended back at episode 160, but is well worth the second recommendation and/or re-read. Time Travel, but what if Jon could control as well as go into the dreams of the assistants/other Eye aligned people instead of just his victims’ dreams? Very good, even if unfinished, though the author seems likely to finish someday. Check out their other work as well, it’s all very good and has my fave Circus themed fic written to date.

a map of what matters most by gruhukens

“Is that a body,” Tim blurts before he can stop himself, rising to his feet. Martin looks, if possible, even more scared.

“He’s alive!” he hisses, almost defensively. “It’s not - it’s not Gertrude again, I didn’t kill him, he just – I don’t know what happened to him, I just found him in the stacks like this.”

“And you dragged him up here?” Tim says, and then registers several things at once – the build, the hair texture; the little round scars peppering a pair of thin hands and an awfully familiar face. “Wait, is that Jon?”

----

Jon stumbles back into an earlier Archive, looking for a way to fix the world. (Or, mom says it's my turn for the obligatory time travel au)

Directly inspired by CirrusGrey’s fic that I recommended earlier, this is another: Jon travels physically into the past fic. This one though is far more bittersweet than “Yesterday is Here”, but still an excellent read and does a great job at fleshing out the relationships between all the characters.

Saving the Universe: For Dummies by GhostChoir

Finding a man bleeding out in the alleyway was not what Elias wanted to do today. And he certainly didn’t mean to befriend him. But things never did go how he expected.

****** A Post-MAG200 Jon meets a 1970s Elias, an Elias from before he was corrupted by Jonah. Together, the two of them learn to cope with grief, drink more tea than any two people should be able to consume, and commiserate over shitty bosses. Oh, and just for the hell of it, they stop an apocalypse along the way.

Now for a change of pace: What if Jon time travels to the time of early Gertrude and Elias pre-Jonafying? A very good fic is what! While it’s been awhile since I read this, I do remember it’s quite good and deserves a chance. Note: this is NOT Jonathan/Elias, so my apologies if you were looking for that, but it is two very lonely men getting to just have a reliable friend in times of trouble.

A Little Game of Cat and Mouse by Paptato

“Jonah Magnus.” The cloudy silhouette snarled as it’s hand clamped tightly around Jonah's ascot. That was indeed his name, but Jonah couldn’t begin to fathom what he did to have it spat out with such hatred.

But nonetheless, Jonah was a gentleman and he would kindly address the angry figure as politely as possible, “Yes, and you are?”

“What?” The form spluttered as it slowly came into focus. Ah, yes. That probably wasn’t the proper response to being held at gunpoint by a random stranger. Must have been the blow to his head.

(Or in which Jonathan Sims goes back in time and tries to pull a Terminator, but fails and Jonah Magnus finds a new mystery to solve.)

This is that Jonah Magnus/Jonathan Sims enemies to lovers fic your friends warn you about in a good way. It’s not done, but I think it’s still being updated very slowly. Even if all I ever read is the currently released 11 chapters, I will consider it my one exception to my dislike of Jonah/Jon. As you can probably guess by the description, it’s a time travel fix it where Jon gets shunted back in time to when Jonah was still very human and still trying to figure out the Fears. The Web keeps Jon from explaining his circumstances or anything to do with Jonah’s future in particular, but this is a good thing and they both get to learn how to be more human in a world that previously was very antagonistic to those goals. It’s got a heavy dose of comedy, plenty of romantic tension, and lots of both surprising and unsurprising cameos. If you enjoy Dracula Daily, you’ll probably enjoy this imho.

Déjà Vu by CirrusGrey

Sasha remembers being unmade. Tim remembers being Unknown. Jon and Martin remember being unwound. All of them think they're the only one. -------- The S1 crew wakes up in the past with memories up till the moment they died.

So, here’s another one that’s got quite the spin on it. As you can see from the description, this one is where S1 crew all get their minds sent back in time to the time right around Jon’s first statement if I remember right. Another CirrusGrey fic, so it heavily leans on JonMartin, but otherwise it’s a wonderful exploration of the four S1 characters and ends on a very hopeful note!

oh my darling, just a moment of your time by IceEckos12

The Institute is visited by a pair of time travelers, and Jon has an important question for Tim.

Have you ever had a oneshot that just kinda guts you unexpectedly? While this might not do this for everyone, this is an amazing oneshot that gets right the point. I love it a lot, because of all of the fics where future and past meet each other, it very rarely if ever is addressed that past Jon was a douche. Or well it is but past Jon doesn’t necessarily have a character moment from it. Here he does, and despite the briefness of the fic, the author does an amazing job of giving Jon and Tim a moment while making an almost critique of the TMA time travel genre. Highly, highly recommend, and it won’t overstay it’s welcome if it doesn’t end up being your thing.

The Severing of Webs by chlodobird

After Jon kills the world, he travels back in time. Once there, he gets ready to change the future, to save his Assistants, and to watch as everyone learns to hate him again.

Unfortunately, the tapes wrap around him like a fly caught in a Web—he can't move. He's trapped reliving the original timeline, stuck acting out his past actions like an actor rehearsing his lines.

Sasha will die. Tim will die. Martin—

(Jon screams inside his mind, and someone hears him. Fate is not as immutable as he fears.)

This one is a brand new one! While basically all of the others on the list have been out/updating for over a year at this point; this lengthy oneshot just released this month. tbh, very excellent, which is why it has made the list. Also, quite the twist on the usual premise, where being sent back into his head is actually a bad thing this time. Ends with a giant pile of fluff, but who would I be if all my time travel recommendations were not also fix-its?

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Somewhere Else

it will be this, always by bluejayblueskies

Jon coughed again, and blood stained his lips and blood stained Martin’s hands where they pressed against Jon’s back and blood stained the floor beneath them and help, they needed help.

Martin doesn’t remember shouting. He barely remembers the faces that had surrounded them, wide-eyed and terrified, all utterly unfamiliar.

.

Jon and Martin wake up somewhere else. Jon begins a slow path toward physical recovery, and several important, long-put-off conversations are had as they begin to navigate a new world that they hadn’t thought they’d be alive to see.

So, I’m sure you all have gathered that I have qualms with how much disparity there is between canon and fanon Jmart. This fic is painful, but is the most in character depiction of post 200 JMart fallout I have ever read. The ending is very cathartic, and takes a “realistic” approach to what happens to Jon and Martin as they begin to navigate their relationship after they both had betrayed each other so thoroughly in the leadup and culmination of MAG 200. If you don’t want them immediately making up, this is the fic for you. They get there, but by all that is good do they take their sweet time getting there.

Out There, Somewhere by Artyphex

"I'm sorry, you were found alone."

Jon survived the apocalypse and now will go to the end of this new, unfamiliar world to find Martin again.

So I think I’m just getting all the angsty ones out of the way first lol. Another slow burn, this fic is Jon’s recovery in the new reality while he also searches for what happened to Martin. Since I don’t post the tags, I will say this ones does feature “Eventual Happy Ending”, and I do promise that both Jon and Martin made it to the new reality and lived. But Jon and Martin both get to pine and cope for a while before that happy ending tag comes into play. It’s incredibly well done and explores their characters really well. Personally, I kinda enjoyed the Reddit saga because people mistaking Jon’s pleas for Martin as an ARG is very typical internet and 100% I would have bought into that at age 13.

Of course I need a therapist. I need ten therapists, working round the clock building me a bionic coping mechanism. We have the technology. by MartinKBlackwoodESQ

A story set somewhere else.

I’mma be real with you all, if I believed that characters could write and publish their own fanfiction, I would be halfway convinced the name is accurate. All joking aside however, this is a “crack treated seriously” fic but with characterization so on point I can consistently hear the voice actors when I read this. Admittedly, it’s made easier by it being written in transcript formatting, but if you’re looking for a hilarious time where TMA is suddenly is turned into a buddy cop adventure where Jon and Martin go to a universe where the Fears hadn’t been till their arrival, and they have doubles that already exist there who are living fairly normal lives till the TMA Jon and Martin crash land into their reality... Well this fic is one I cannot recommend highly enough. It also has a sequel, and it is also well worth the read, even if it appears to be on a bit of a break in it’s updates.

Worlds like phyllo pastry by neworld

After episode 200 Jon finds himself alone in a world very much like the one he left but fractionally different. It's so similar he finds versions of his former friends existing happily in the world. Unfortunately they have never met him in this universe and have no idea who he is.

This one’s unfinished, but personally it’s well worth the read as is. Not sure how I feel about the most recent chapter, but the story up till that point is a really fun spin on “Jon and Martin get shunted to a new reality” where Jon learns how to feed in a way that doesn’t cause problems facilitated by the new reality, and re-meets all the people who he lost till this point and has a very silly antagonistic relationship with his alternate self. While fic might be more of a guilty pleasure, it still is written in such a way that I would rank it high enough for this disorganized list.

Death Is The Easy Way Out by traveller19

After having killed Jonah Magnus and ended the Change, Jon and Martin should finally be able to rest. Rest, however, proves impossible when Jon falls ill. What's more, he begins having vivid dreams of their dead friends - Tim, trapped in the destroyed Archives, and Sasha, trapped outside of them. As Jon's condition quickly worsens and the line between dream and reality begins to blur, love is all he and Martin have to hold on to, because hope is a dangerous thing.

Did someone say sickfic??? But for real, this fic has an amazing balance between an A plot and a B plot, and keeps both at the right level of tension throughout. While this is a sickfic heavy one, it also features Tim and Sasha as ghosts trying desperately not to be. There’s also a lovely sequel and plenty of fluff by the end, but this is a rough ride. ALSO, if you or a loved one had covid / any respiratory illness that caused them to be hospitalized with pneumonia and it could be trigging to read incredibly on the nose descriptions of that experience, this fic is not for you. Or very cathartic. :/

Castaways by CirrusGrey

Welcome to the Castaway Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing a safe and secure landing to those lost souls banished from their home worlds by the influence of Fear.

If you wanted saccharine JMart in a new reality where they get therapy and meet old friends from different realities, this series of (mostly) one shots is for you! As you’ve probably come to expect when I suggest CirrusGrey, the writing is fantastic, the ship dynamics are exemplary, and the character are on point. There is so much to say about this series, but mostly, if you want Jon and Martin healing and then settling together and becoming the stereotypical married couple, then this is it. It’s not done, but it is wrapping up, and I hope you all if you haven’t seen this yet enjoy it as much as I do. And for those long time readers who have been reading it longer than I’ve been in the fandom, here’s your friendly reminder that it exists.

Do Before I Die by SupposedToBeWriting

Somewhere Else, Jon can't seem to shake the strange apathy that now plagues his life. Everything reminds Martin of the end of the world. For a change of pace, he and Martin rent a campervan and go on a road trip. Their mission? To fulfill the 'bucket list' Martin made when he was eighteen and lonely. Jon's looking forward to the beach.

Jon and Martin go on a Road Trip accross Britain. It’s just a wholesome and hurt/comfort as it describes. An excellent romp, and the character studies are wonderful. The Planetarium still sticks with me.

ours is a distant shore (series) by pantsoflobster

“If they ever found out about us, we could make things really complicated for them," Jon said. Martin gave a thoughtful hum and then a loaded pause before he said, “Or simpler.” “What?” “We could, you know…” Martin then made mischievous eyes at him in lieu of expanding. “What?” Jon said, thoroughly lost. “Wouldn’t it be a bit fun to sort of... nudge them in the right direction?”

Months after they arrive Somewhere Else, Jon sees himself in the shop.

Summary is from the first fic in the series, this is a fun little romp for those who hated Martin’s defeatism over his and Jon’s relationship in MAG199 and want to see what would happen if instead he accidentally kick started an alternate version and his and Jon’s relationship Somewhere Else. It’s all very silly, tho the last fic does lean more into the hurt/comfort tag than the previous two. Over all though, if you’re looking for a little crack, a lot of fluff, and Jon and Martin being silly this is a good time.

Written in the Stars Will Have to Do by GentlemanCrow

“Yeah well, god knows why, but he thinks you hung the moon, so you might try treating him at the very least like a human being once in a while.”

It was such a small thing. Small words for a small feeling cloaked in a chintzy veneer of idiomatic dismissal. A trembling little bird cupped in his scarred and battered hands and smothered. Or so he thought. Sometimes trembling little birds turn out to be phoenixes, and those who looked to someone else to hang the comfort of a wise, silvery moon in the sky already have the hammer and the picture wire at the ready.

As far as Jon was concerned, the moon only rose on their Somewhere Else because Martin deigned to pull the strings every night, not him.

This is another one of those JMart Somewhere Else fics masquerading as a Safehouse fic that made me want to cry. It’s just, so wonderful, and once again we have themes of healing, but this time through getting a hobby and sharing it with your significant other. The writing is lovely and really gives off the stuffy academic musings I would expect being in Jon’s head (which we are for the duration of this fic) but adds a layer that I didn’t realized I needed till I read it.

On Errantry by ZaliaChimera

Somewhere Else, Jon and Martin discover that their new home has a very special sort of guardian, and Jon seeks judgement from an unexpected source.

They do say that cats purring can heal...

A cute one shot that deals with Jon’s lingering guilt from S5; this is a wonderful tale from Somewhere Else featuring a giant Cat, Martin being supportive, and Jon trying to reconcile his second chance. Very sweet and fluffy, guaranteed!

Lost, Unfound, But Not Forgotten by Elynn

They didn’t find bodies. Or anything pointing to where they may have gone. In the center of the rubble, what Georgie assumed to have once been the top of the tower, was a puddle of dried, crusted blood, and the outline of bodies in the dust and scorch marks. And she knew that wherever the Fears had gone, Jon and Martin had gone with them. The last victims, snuffed and dragged away with them. --- In the weeks after the Eye-pocolypse, Georgie Barker begins the painful process of mourning her best friend.

So, I know I’m very focused on Jon, but I have one fic of Georgie here that’s 10/10. Post 200, Georgie and Melanie eventually goes to clean out Daisy’s cabin of Jon and Martin’s things for Basira (or something like that) and Georgie finds a journal of Jon’s that he kept whilst there. It’s just as bittersweet as you’d imagine, but it’s fantastically cathartic to read and in our MAG 200 feels, this is a good one for closure.

Not Quite Somewhere Else by hawkfurze

Or you can find it on Tumblr HERE

A special entry to finish out this section, I have a long running comic from Tumblr user @hawkfurze who made a TMA x Infinity Train crossover. While I had not watched the show previously (only seen the trailer/pilot from back before it got picked up by CN), the comic is still easy to understand and explains the Infinity Train parts in such a way as to not need any prior knowledge. I highly recommend this comic for anyone who wants a visual treat delving into the relationship and psyches of Jon and Martin as they try to escape into the next reality.

-

AUs

Two Graves by SupposedToBeWriting

Jon sends the fears far from Earth and flees London, leaving the others to assume the worst. He settles in a small village and opts to live there quietly until he dies, a self-imposed penance. This plan is foiled when the first former Avatar shows up - and Jon realizes that every domain-keeper in the apocalypse still has some faint connection to him.

After a year of being a shoulder to cry on for confused and distraught former Avatars, Jon leads a moderately happy life. He has a flourishing garden, a cat, and some company. All of that comes crashing around his ears (or his head) when a familiar face shows up to his cabin, demanding answers.

This fic is in my top 5 fics of TMA fandom. No contest. It has some of the best healing from MAG 200 for Jon and Martin and tbh the world I’ve seen. It’s got that incredible hurt/comfort and the ending makes me cry tears of joy every time I read it. If you read any JMart fic on this list, please read this one if you can only read one. While I was tempted to put this in a different category, this seemed like the best place to put it.

What Comes After by Mornrandir

More than a year after the apocalypse, the world is starting to move on. Georgie, Melanie, and Basira have learned to move on and get back to living their lives. Then Martin reappears- without Jon- and they have to learn to begin again.

A series based around the initial above description, each entry in the series follows the healing of first Martin, then Jon, then both of them together. While I am a Jon-centric woman, if you are of a more Martin-centric leaning, this first fic in the series should scratch that itch. The final entry is very sweet, and the second definitely has a unique reason as to why Jon shows up so late to the after-Fears party.

The Watcher’s Cows by lenioia

He still remembers the first cup of tea Martin brought him. That’s where it began, not with the dog incident. A sweet and strong blend, reasons for appearance unknown, how could it taste so good, also unknown. Jon stares at what will be the last cup between them. His miserable parting gift. Where it’ll end.

Alt Mag 200, or in a slightly kinder universe which differs by exactly one cup of tea, Martin is the one who switches plan last minute, and Jon’s last half-backed scheme, for once, works.

An AU splitting off MAG 199/200, where Jon’s plan actually happens, but instead of it being quite so bleak he finds a new path with the help of Martin. I know the original ending of the series is probably the most hopeful one realistically, but we all enjoy our fixits here, so this is a really sappy “by the power of love” Jon and Martin save the universe and still get to live in it AU. Highly highly recommend, and it finished within the last 8 months, so it’s “on the newer side” as it were. If you haven’t read it, give it a shot, and if you’ve read it and it’s been awhile now’s a good time to read it again.

The Eyespot Chronicles (series) by SupposedToBeWriting

To Martin Blackwood's surprise, he wakes up in the ruins of the Magnus Institute. He thought he would be dead. The world is back to normal, the Entities are gone, and everyone realizes that it's finally over. The only sticking point is that Jon isn't exactly the Jon that went into the apocalypse. Never one to give up, Martin is determined to make a life for himself and his boyfriend. Even if he is a giant moth.

Summary taken from the first in the series, this trilogy of fics covers Jon and Martin’s attempts at healing in a world that remembers what happened. The first fic focuses entirely on Martin’s struggles, the second on Jon’s, and the 3rd (as you might guess) focuses on them both. The series is excellent, and if you’ve got the fortitude for canon-typical emotional constipation after having just experienced MAG-200 it’s well worth the read.

Another Guest for Mr. Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Jon isn't eating his statements like he should.

Mr. Spider doesn't like it.

Written in transcript format, this AU considers the idea of what if the Web was more hands on it it’s approach to getting Jon to Become more monstrous; or at least not starve himself out. Incredible read, you need an AO3 account though. But I have never been that spooked by a Statement or encounter before I read this fic. If you DO NOT like spiders on you or in your mouth and you don’t like reading about it either, potentially hold off on this fic, or at least skip from where Mr. Spider says “Open your mouth. Do not move.” to when he says “Wash it down with this. Now.” But yeah if you didn’t get enough spider trauma from canon, this fic gives it in spades! (And if you want Mr. Spider getting his comeuppance, you get that too ;) )

Illicio by ThatOneGirlBehindYou

As the new Archivist debates between life and death, the Eye ponders on what to offer him in order to avoid an encore of the unfortunate situation with his predecessor.

-----

Gerard Keay opens his eyes at what feels like fuck-ass in the morning, inside a room with far too little space and far too much dust.

A long form AU of what if Gerry Keay was brought back by the Eye to convince Jon to stay on team Monster if you will. Goes all the way through MAG-200, has some great twists and turns, and manages to turn into an “Everyone Lives AU” as well. While it is currently updating, it’s updating every week on Saturday till it finishes, and she only has 2 chapters left. If you’ve managed to never read this, now is certainly the time for it! It is Jon/Gerry/Martin, so if that’s not your exact cup of tea I’d still say give it a shot.

we should ride this wave to shore by ClarionGlass

“archives research & statement envestigation” Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks” Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked stonked: so how bout it lads saucy sash: oh god. A TMA group chat fic where the worst problems they have to deal with start with "h" and end with "angovers"

Right, I don’t tend to read chat fics, I’m going to be honest with you all. I have two exceptions and this is one of them. It goes interesting places, the characters are not completely OOC, if it they are at least it’s consistent OOC and not in a grating way. But in all seriousness, I recommend this because of how it ties in with MAG 160 and 200; as well as how the sequel deals with canon S5. The sequel isn’t finished and is slow to update, but I am still recommending at the very least the first one. It’s a good romp and I highly recommend.

Ask an Exec: How to Navigate Cultish Colleagues, Soul-Stealing Bosses, and the End of the World at Work by shinyopals

I've recently been unexpectedly promoted to lead a department in my organisation, wrote the anonymous emailer.

As there was no one working here when I arrived, my manager, who is head of the organisation, had promised me the choice of my own assistants. However, without warning, he simply presented me with an additional assistant. This new assistant’s first act on his first day was to let a dog into the office. It took several hours to catch and clean up after this dog and it has only been downhill from there. I admit I'm not entirely sure what to do with this assistant now I'm stuck with him. I'm hoping you have some advice?

Kind regards, New Manager

Abigail Bailey runs a successful management advice blog. One frequent contributor is from a workplace with some... issues.

While this isn’t quite an AU and is basically canon compliant, I’m putting it here because it’s a “what if Jon was an avid seeker of advice on a management advice blog?” AU. It’s beautifully formatted, and features very in character interactions. If you are a sucker for the TMA trope: how do normal people react to the weirdness at the Institute, then this is a great fic for you. I know it’s probably one of the most popular things to have hit the Jonathan Sims tag on AO3 in recent months, but this is just me reminding you all it exists and well worth the re-read.

JMart Fluff

Author CirrusGrey

Literally anything by them. I think I probably recommend them every time I talk about JMart, but I think on AO3 they are both the most prolific and one of the best writers for the tag. Pick almost any fic they’ve written for TMA and it’s probably JMart. There’s too many fics of their’s to recommend, so I’ll just link you straight to their profile and you can go swimming from there lol.

Jon’s Moving Castle by IceEckos12

Martin Blackwood may not have a perfect life, but he does have a good one. That is, until a series of magical encounters leave him with an unfortunate curse. Out of other options, he goes to the wizard who lives in the moving castle for aid.

Life never goes how he intends it to, though.

Basically Howl’s Moving Castle, but with a TMA spin. You don’t need to have seen the movie to understand what’s going on, and honestly while it sticks fairly close to the movie, it doesn’t stick so close that it feels constrained by it in places where it wouldn’t make sense in the AU they’ve set up. It’s a very sweet JMart fic with a satisfying conclusion.

The 101 Kidnappings of Jonathan Sims (and Other Inconveniences) by beetlejoos

Martin Blackwood never applies for a job at the Magnus Institute. The universe seems determined that he meets Jonathan Sims anyway. But is it Fate, or something more sinister, that keeps bringing the two of them together?

Right, this mostly crack treated seriously. It’s got hurt/comfort, but it’s fairly light hearted throughout. As one could guess by the title and description, Jon is repeatedly kidnapped and brought to wherever Martin is living/working at the time. While it’s not done yet, and not on a schedule, the chapters that are out thus far are well worth the read. That and there’s some cute fan art for it that’s linked to in the end notes. But I recommend this because it’s got that vibe of S1 Jon meets S1 Martin outside of the Institute and romance (eventually) happens. Very fun read if you haven’t read it yet.

i think we’re alone now + alone-verse (series) by milliganopen

Just a couple of guys breaking into a basement. What could go wrong?

Getting trapped in your apartment with your boss, that's what.

Season 1 re-imagined if Jon and Martin had been trapped by Jane Prentiss together.

Initially I recommended this back when we had hit MAG039/022 because it was a great AU to Martin’s Statement where Jon also gets trapped in Martin’s apartment during Martin’s no good very bad 2 weeks of worm siege. HOWEVER, the author has since continued this series and is slowly working their way through canon one season/fic at a time. They’re currently on S3, and I am definitely keeping an eye on it for whenever the next update happens. If you haven’t had the time to check it out, it’s got some very good JMart moments, and their relationship manages to move faster than a glacier.

Fate, or Something by HermaeusMora

"You can't be serious." Jonathan Sims raises his eyes at last to properly look at Georgie, expecting her to laugh and make some quip about finally getting him to put the damn book down, at least.

"Well, I am," she shoots back.

He sets his book aside and turns fully towards her, betrayal clear on his face. "A blind date, really?"

Jon makes the frankly terrible decision to go on a blind date with one Martin Blackwood. Fate ensues. AU where Jon and Georgie are still friends, Georgie likes finding dates for her friends, Martin doesn't work at the institute, and everyone is just a bit happier while canon spooky stuff goes on in the background. Takes place juuust barely pre-canon in the beginning but catches up quickly. Inspired as usual by the wonderful conversations with my friend RavenXavier/somuchbetterthanthat.

A fun AU that challenges the idea that Jon and Martin are incompatible a la MAG199. Excellently done and well worth the time to check it out.

Diary by luftballoons99

Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.

or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.

A bit of a bittersweet mostly fluff oneshot focused on Jon and Martin having a night in at the Safehouse and talking about good things from their pasts. (Warning, the sequel is rated E(xplicit) for a reason, so I am only recommending Diary. Both are stand alone however.)

Weaving My Heartstrings by arms_full_of_hyacinths

At least he was someone. Someone who could deal with the spiders. That was probably the source of the nerves unspooling like magnetic tape to fill Jon’s stomach with buzzing static butterflies.

Yes, Martin was much bigger than a spider. He was probably the kind of person who cupped them in his hands and talked to them as he walked them out into the garden, which shouldn’t be giving Jon a burst of warm feeling at all, since his preferred method of spider disposal was simply to squash them on sight.

Martin likes Jon almost as much as Jon hates spiders. When a statement from an institute employee sends them spiraling into the center of a complicated web, they'll need to rely on each other if they want to make it out alive.

Bit of an odd suggestion to close us out, but this one is a fun almost episodic plot about an original Statement and the shenanigans Jon and Martin get into trying to research it. It’s very good, features some very on point S1 Jon and Martin along with a bit of a fast forward on their relationship throughout.

And with that, I’ve probably overstayed my welcome lol. I hope you found something new to read! If not, I at least hope that you had fun rereading some old faves. This has taken me a day or two to compile and format, so I hope you all enjoy in whatever capacity that ends up being! Happy end of A Mag A Day, and it was a joy walking alongside you all. Congrats to A MAG A Day blog owners on all your hard work for the last ~210 days and with this post I wish you all a very fond farewell.

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 8)

Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Mature themes

This repetitive sound rang in my ears. It sounded like a slow heart beat. The sounds came and went consistently but there were all the same notes. It wasn’t a good song. The music I liked was jazzy and not flat like this one. There were no words or instruments. Just one note. 

“I am so sorry. This is all my fault.” A voice came through my ears. I can’t make out who it was. I felt something warm in my hand. It was gripped and soft lips were pressed against my knuckles. 

“It’s not, Buck. You couldn’t have known.” Steve. You could hear him but you couldn’t open your eyes.

“How could it not be? This is the second time I led her to kill herself. She needed me and I wasn’t there. I cast her aside. I left her…” He whispered. Bucky. Oh god, Bucky.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Bucky. You left her because you thought she was safer without you. You were trying to protect her. I won’t say it was the right thing to do but at the time you thought it was. Your intentions were pure.” Nat said. 

“She just couldn’t do it without you. She’s been battling demons for a long time and we’ve all seen it. We all should have been there. The past year we had the opportunity to be there for her and we let her down. This is on all of us.” Clint said. Elbows on his knees. How could they think it was their fault? I did this.

“No one knows what happened before she got here. Fury said something traumatic. It could've been that. It’s not on you.” Bruce said. No. No. Not this. This was a secret. This was my secret to tell. My experience to share if I wished for it.

“I know.” Tony said. If only I had more control over how everything happened. I didn’t want anyone to know. Please don’t tell them. 

“Tony, what is it?” Steve asked. Tony looked torn. He sat with his hand across his chin, middle and pointer finger on his temple. 

“She will never forgive me for telling you this. Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to know..” He trailed off standing up. Bucky squeezed my hand. 

“Eighteen months ago y/n was taken. She was dating her boyfriend of almost a year, Christian, things were going great. Apparently they were really happy together yadyadya, whole picket fence type of stuff” Tony said turning the other direction. Bucky stiffened. Not like that Bucky! I never felt the way I did for him the way I feel about you. I wish I could tell him that. I fought to wake up, so hard. 

“Turns out he had been working recon on her for the entirety of their relationship. It was a mission for him but he made it personal. He didn’t have to get her to love him. He pulled the whole ‘spilled coffee - let me take you out to dinner trope’. It was innocent to her. She never expected it. Even with her guard high. She didn’t see it coming. Why would she? He was a CEO at some made up enterprise in the city. She had no reason for suspecting anything.” Everyone was listening intently.  

“Things got rushed, he needed to make a move and fast. So he beat her and I mean beat her bad. He kept her locked up in his flat for weeks. No food, little to no water. He tortured her, trying to get information from SHIELD but she wouldn’t give it up. One day he didn’t come back. She was down there for a while, not looking hot and that's when Fury found her.” He stopped. A picture flew up on the screen. Images of me bleeding, a picture of me laughing with Chrisitan. A tear rolled down my comatose face. I just wanted to tell him to stop. I would tell the story if I had to. Let me tell you!

“Apparently SHIELD caught on to Christian and they took him down but they couldn’t find her. They looked for days until Fury figured it out. But you knew that already, Romanoff.” Everyone was quiet. What? How would she know?

“Yes,” She answered plainly. 

“What the hell, Nat?” Bruce said furious. 

“Fury sent me about some posing CEO scumbag that I needed to take down. I didn’t know it was him until a few weeks before everything happened. I didn’t know y/n yet. It was my mission to wait it out.” She said sadly but not apologetically. 

“That doesn’t matter. You knew who he was! You knew she didn’t know. You knew she was in danger-” Steve said angrily. 

“No. I didn’t. I thought she was his girlfriend. I knew she worked for SHIELD, I didn’t know if she was a part of HYDRA too. I couldn’t risk intervening-”

“What?” Bucky finally spoke.

“I wouldn't intervene, Barnes-”

“HYDRA. This guy is HYDRA?” He gritted out. 

“Yes or he was.” Nat spoke defensively. 

“I promise if I knew what would have happened, if I knew about his mission and that she wasn’t who I thought she was, you have to know I would have killed him on the spot.” She said with tears in her eyes. Tears were falling down my face at this point too. Everyone bega fighting and the voices got loud. 

“Look-” The fighting kept going on. 

“Guys stop! Look-” Bruce pointed to me and walked over to the bed. Flashlight in his hand opened my eyes. I could see. 

“She’s crying, she can hear us. Y/n, can you move your hand?” He said squeezing mine. I tried but I couldn’t.