#bruh where have you been
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Sometimes I just can’t stop thinking about young Beowulf, sitting at the bottom of the ocean, deeper than the sun reaches, just throwing hands with weird deep sea fish and then crawling back on shore days later all “it’s SAFE NOW, YOU’RE WELCOME”
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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wtf not david croft & karun immediately yapping abt the safety car and implying lando would've won as max crossed the line
#i wish i didn't have to listen to sky#where was this in miami?#bruh lando also locked up and went off track at one point anyway + mclaren had enough time to call him in when the sc was called#there was also the safety car restart#skysports don't be biased (impossible)#canadian gp 2024#lando norris#max verstappen#lando was on fresher tyres too? and he came out in front of max but ofc the tyres weren't warmed up#help me it's been minutes and they're STILL yapping abt it#and in the medium stint max managed the gap perfectly but you don't hear a lick of that from sky.
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man the dev notes w/ the stormshore tabernacle convo. whatever they're there for it's kind of remarkable how so much of the notes there for her are just textbook abuser stuff.
#tbd#after all the advantages I gave you -- i have the visceral skin crawl reaction its the abusive parent anthem#things that make my skin crawl bruh#it's everything I did for you#child who i groomed#I'm being so magnanimous towards you giving you time == child who i groomed#look at how merciful i am even though my first instinct is that i don't like how you didn't obey me#the dev notes of that convo genuinely make it worse boooy#which well done but also i will throw hands#dming helm pls kill her again#anyway i think it's kind of fascinating that most gods in this game show themselves as these larger than life figures but mystra?#you are seeing the person who did that to gale you are seeing that person#that person came to him as a child#like that divine separation has just not been there#esp with the build up#where she first dispatches elminster and then again when he tells you about the grant but at the end it's just her in this human figure#i genuinely feel like it deliberately strips that divine separation away & its another layer of insidiousness on her part#it's grounded in the sense of the damage she'd done to gale idk i am waffling but its just something about it is worse when it's so..wow.#idk i think in this game? i think she's not written like the other gods in this game and i think it makes her worse not more sympathetic#bg3 spoilers#abuse tw
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youtube
TMNT x music
The Iteration: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Who made the reference: Donatello
The Band: Iron Maiden
The Song: 2 Minutes to Midnight
In "Late Fee" Donatello says, "2 minutes to midnight, maidens." just before they trick Ghost Bear into returning Splinter's Lou Jitsu DVD back to the kiosk...... like. That's it. That's the reference. kbye
#tmnt x music#tmnt is a parody ouroboros#tmnt as pop culture commentary#apparently someone is on twitter complaining about the pop culture references in Mutant Mayhem#................#bruh#the entireeee fucking premise of TMNT is a pop culture reference#whathefuck#where have you been#who are you????#are you new?????????????#TMNT was born of pop culture#sure the Daredevil New Mutants 80s comics as the catalyst#but wuxia#japanese period drama#more that I could clog my tags with but whathefuck bro#or is it because the person is probably a millenial and isn't enjoying how old the refs are making them feel#I'm willing to bet 10 bucks that's it#because i'm petty#(fkkn love the millenial/xennial refs in MM)#glug glug glug give me more#hi i'm snackugaki one of many of your local 90s Turtlemania survivors#leonardo#raphael#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#michelangelo#splinter
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If you don’t mind, I’m gonna yap for a second.. I think another problem with Kab is how sudden the turn around was. Like in the first convo where Kab was acting “evil”, Zam fought back with the argument that she’s wasn’t really evil at all and I think he did believe that at least a little. And if Kab slowly began to turn her path around then he would be a bit more trusting cause he would have SEEN her actual emotional growth but the turn around was so fast, it feels like there was no emotional growth at all and that Kab is still the same as before, cause she basically is. She still wants Mane dead no matter the cost and she’s still, intentionally or not, trying to manipulate Zam, but she wants to be treated as if she’s had that whole long term emotional growth
yeah ii think this is where her majority experience with short-term smps really bit her in the ass, i think there are two main directions that other ppl take it tho: 1. is as what you speculate in that some ppl think that she hasnt had genuine growth and hasnt changed at all and 2. that she genuinely changes too quickly and is therefore unreliable regardless of if shes being honest or not
i think the reason zam was so receptive to her in silent scream was cause this has been a recurrent plot point for a couple streams now, kab trespassing zams base to yap while zam tries to decipher her wants and motivations until eventually she just let it all out and in that instance i think he did genuinely believed that she changed even if it was slowly/just a little bit
....but then die for you happened lol
ssee the thing about kab is that shes shes all-or-nothing, going from one extreme to the next after just a little bit of change in character which can be jarring to some ppl to say the least (unless you thought she was lying and therefore any character development shouldnt be believed i suppose) but is something that was a great asset in shorter and arena-based smps where you had to get as much advantage against your opponent as possible without having to worry about the long-term consequences of these actions ie them not trusting you while still having to interact often in mundane ways even after messing with them. while she Can be swayed this only really works with things she was already unsure of which while a great motivator and trait to keep her on track with her goals (again another great trait for short-term smps), can be really jarring and distressing for other ppl if the things she was absolutely sure about goes against their own perspective like for example her thinking that derapchu killing her constitutes zam getting payback for her as the protector of the server (The protector, not A protector like zam insists, The protector of the server)
i think shes far too used to the fast-paced instant acceptance of changed personality in arena smps that is a natural consequence of them being short-term and having a revolving door of members and teams which is why she expects ppl to accept her growth and efforts so quickly even if realistically nobody would hand over their trust that easily esp after essentially being harassed in their own home multiple times, like even in normal smps where theres a baseline amount of trust ppl still wouldnt trust you after doing that, what more in a server like lifesteal where general trust is low basically all the time?
#mine.ask#Anonymous#i wrote most of this at like 2 am cause i couldnt sleep so i hope this is understandable lol#like. kabs actions are logical sure but its one extreme to the next#even zam takes at least a couple weeks before changing into something opposite than he was#and hes one of if not the most fickle ppl on the server#like. idk. ive noticed from tge beginning that kabs lore is pretty fast-paced compared to everyone else#but after she got fixated on zam it increased by a lot i feel#like hating him one moment then loving him the next#like damn girl is he your fp /j#but yeah a lot of things kab does can be explained away by the fact that shes never really had to deal with the long-term consequences#of fucking with someone#whether it be because of the fact the smps she was in were short ones or cause clown was there to get rid of her opps#and like. in a regular smp maybe ppl would believe her more#but this is ls where all the players are accutely aware of the fact that trusting the wrong ppl could get them killed or worse#and kab not only has an untrustworthy rep thanks to money smp (that she was was proudly flaunting)(also derap is here)#but her still continuing to lie and manipulate ppl does not make ppl want to give her the necessary baseline trust#that would constitute believing in her whenever she changes her mind/direction#and unfortunately for her; now that shes been established as untrustworthy on lifesteal itself#(compare her rep to wemmbu whos rep comes from non-ls smps and is proudly trustworthy and loyal on ls itself)#that baseline trust is gonna be really difficult to go against#i was gonna give spoke as an example but then remembered he manipulated pbaj during the election arc lmao#but uh yeah reputation is really important on ls whether the players like it or not and kabs rep is unfortunately not the best#like bruh zam thinks shes less trustworthy than Spoke#do you have any idea how untrustwortthy someone would feel you are to get that low on the trustworthiness tier???#like damn it hasnt even been a full season yet
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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Season 2 Mike: desperately protects and loves Will, sleeps at his house, sleeps at his doctor's office, and tells him he's the best thing to ever happen to him. Will:🧍
Season 3 Mike: focuses on someone else. Will: Wait where did you go I liked us what happened :'(
Season 4 Mike: ignores Will. Will: ignores Mike for ignoring him. Mike: Why are you ignoring me????? That's really mean you know :(((( You ruined my day :(((((((
These fuckers are perfect for each other are you kidding me. (We're excusing them on account of they're 14 and also improving anyways)
#byler dynamic#this will forever be so fucking funny to me#because will gave 0 hints#im obviously he was busy#and then mike was like ok damn guess i'll date somebody else then#and then will was like why would you do that you broke my heart k bye#(oversimplification)#and then mike was like i can't look at you i'm coping with whatever tf just happened so i'm not gonna call you for 9 months#and will was like ok damn guess i won't talk to you either then#and then mike was like where have you been all day? it totally ruined my day i was so sad and also why didn't you call more? i missed you!#BRUH#stranger things#byler#byler povs
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the way nerd men still treat girls that were into other toys besides barbies as if theyre like fucking elves or something is so funny
#some video of a girl unboxing her old toys randomly came up on my feed and All the comments are like holy fuck a woman of culture.....be st#ill my beating heart where have you been all my life#and its like bruh literally almost all my friends were into shit like spiderman dbz transformers power rangers etc#girls being into those at that time was Not the rare occurrence pop culture was still weirdly obsessed with making it seem to be
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imma be real with u guys i actually unironically love danganronpa but only the source content i hate 99.99999% of fan content so fucking much.
LISTEN THIS IS A HETALIA BLOG NONE OF US ARE BETTER THAN DANGANRONPAERS AND EVERYONE WHO IS UNAWARE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND DANGANRONAPERS TREAT KOKICHI THE WAY HETALIA FANS TREAT ENGLAND. EXCEPT WORSE. SOMEHOW 100000x WORSE
#AND IM 20 FEET UNDER IN THIS HETALIA SHITSHOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE BEEN DOING TO ENGLAND SINCE 2008#DANGANRONPA IS REALLY FUCKING GOOD ITS HILARIOUS#ALL THE CHARACTERS HAVE SWISS CHEESE FOR BRAINS#THE GAME IS FUN I LIKE THE MINI GAMES I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT YES I LIKE THE FUCKASS DANGANRONPA STANCE ITS FUNNY#THE FIRST GAME IS THE BEST ONE BECAUSE NGL THEY WERE NOT PUSHED THAT HARD TO KILL EACHOTHER LOL#AND ALSO THERES AN ENTIRE PART WHERE U GOTTA CONVINCE ONE KF THE CHARACTERS THAT ANOTHER ONE ISNT A GHOST#AND ALSO BYAKUYA TELLS TOKO TO STOP TALKING AND SHE STRAIGHT UP DOESNT FOR LIKE 2 DAYS AND NOBODY CARES LOL#toko is actually an incredible acomplishment because she is so genuinely insufferable and awful and everybody hates her for half the game#and then somehow by the end of it she hasnt changed but you just like her now its an amazing phenomenon#i cant think of a single other character that ive thought to be the actual worst and then later i like them so much even tho they havent#changed at all#bruh in universe shes hated too like theres that part where junko kidnaps everyones loved ones and we see peoples families n shjt#and then toko only has her goddamn pet stink bug#now that nobody likes danganronpa anymore (thank god) ill make my clearing kokichis name post one day... BECAUSE OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU#PEOPLE DONE TO HIM#HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM HE DOESNT SLIT HIS WRISTS HES A GAMER
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im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...
#kuwameshi#give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like#WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU...#i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3#based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates#i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko#kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together?#AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!!#and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro#and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them??#as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally#not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo#anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke#but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward#planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing#and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara?#keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here?#i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him#cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he#catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch#a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko''#and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans#you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call#kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and#yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something
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JESUS CHRIST. Spilt coffy all over my work area
:(
#it could have been way worse. the only loose pages on my area (i. cannot reasonably call it a desk.)#were my notes about alfonse's 40 convo and a stray pencil comic that was never intended to be anything beyond pencil.#could you fucking. could you fucking imagine. could you. cpuld you fucking. bruh#the 40 convo is sitting like. right adjacent to where i set and knocked my coffee w my knee.#another. thing i can't reasonable call a desk. separate from where i put my coffee#where i set out all my pencils ect ect. could you. could you fucking. imagine. i would never recover.#you would never hear from me again.
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My bff just got engaged…
#baby darling dude bro man um. you’re only 21#don’t. don’t fucking do it bro. like don’t do it#the fiancée is chill or whatever but he’s literally bffs second serious boyfriend ever#I knew it was coming because it’s their one year anniversary today#but like. not to be a dick but bff has high key just ditched me for the guy#which is like whatever but it’s kind of like ok so you move to another state and get married and barely talk to anyone else except fiancé#what are you like a Christian??? and what it’s not like I can be unsupportive#it’s just like damn….#and then. well. you add in the fact that I have never even been on a date with anyone ever in my life like ever#and now all of my friends have gotten/are getting married#like literally all of them. the ex-friends who were homophobic church folks just got married like last month then two of my old hs friends#are married; one of em has two kids#I just like shittttt dog like bruh come on#also the fact that we used to say people that get married at 20 are idiots haha like that’s him now#anyways#it’s fine just like damn where’s my boyfriend#m talks
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i dont think melt down is supposed to be a sad song but the way i teared up while listening to it anyways
#the lyrics are the most youngk lyrics ive heard in a while#feel like i can trace the concepts to so many lyrics that he's written#its a direct answer to not gonna love#which btw the krn title has the word ice in it and so he spends a lot ofthat song with a play on words and talks about how he needs#someone to melt his heart#similar word uses of like shivering#reminiscient of wonpils stranded which youngk helped write iirc#using the phrase 'its okay' (seems to mean so much to him fr fr)#'youve done well' wyls helloooo#better better has similar concpts of like being able to withstand a day bc of someones smile#bruh better better was stuck in my head today too lol#and just the idea of finally giving back to the people he loves its smth he explores like in thanks to and want to love you#the only thing that would have made this more youngk is if he had used the word 'thanks' somewhere in the lyrics lol#tbh surprised it doesnt show up def a song where that would have been a very appropriate lyric#as always theres just something so raw and so pure about his lyrics and how he delivers it i dont even know how to put it to words!!#rambles
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that anon was wild ANYWAYS chenford’s gonna have 2 beautiful children and raise them together happily what are we naming them
omg ikr, wasn't that just bizarre? i was like "huh?!" 🤨 like i'm not saying they should start having kids this season cause even i think that's a bit of a far fetched plotline. but anyways i picture them with three kids. two whirlwind little girls, and a super sweet little mama's boy. i came up with a full name for their first daughter when i was writing my pregnancy fic (really lost the fuel to my fire for that though when i accidently deleted my previous main account a couple years ago, idk if i'll ever really get back to that one sadly 😔).
#sylvieschen#answered#chenford#idk if anyone thinks i should change my mind and try to pick up that piece again then hey maybe i will 🫠#but for now that wip is locked away in the back of the file cabinet where my ideas/plots have been slowly rotting away#oh and their girls aren't twins (at least not in my head)#i imagine their girls are a year apart and then they have their little boy maybe like... 2yrs later#i mean if they're gonna drop the bomb in s6 i imagine it'll be a closing scene in one of the finale two episodes#but still why tf you hatin' bruh???? 😂😂😂#btw abby you're tags on my post about getting sobford are mwah 💋✨🤌 magnifique you totally get me#we're gonna break this man down you and me i believe it
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if kab wanted a clown replacement hannah is perfectly capable of (and would possibly be even happy with) fulfilling that role idk why she seems to be going after zam who she didnt even have positive rapport with before the yap yesterday
#mine.txt#kab#and pedestaling him is crazy#hes always been open about the fact that his oath is based on his own principles and that hes fine with ppl fighting each other#even the ones who fight for no reason as long as it isnt at spawn#like theres a reason he didnt give a shit about the blindfold alliance's crimes and even allied with them#before they turned into griefers#and why he was a non-interfering party in both revenge killings and out of spawn killings#even when he clarified his reasons to kab he specified that hed defend innocent players who were killed for no reason#kab is neither an innocent player nor was she killed for no reason#like bruh she killed derap right after; zams not gonna enact revenge for her cause shes clearly capable of doing so#like shes not helpless and deraps not like mane in the slightest; kab is Not helpless in this situation#like girl his priorities have always been different from the rest of the server#thats not about to change just cause you think it should#idk if this is a new member vs old member belief clash or what#cause like i feel like its obvious zam wouldnt interfere with a kind of spat thats perfectly normal on the server#esp since it didnt happen in spawn#like if they were teammates sure but they arent teammates#idk why she thought they were teammates before but regardless zam cleared up the fact that they werent teammates#cause like maybe shes like pbaj last season where she just hasnt internalized the fact that for lifesteal to be functional#there has to be conflict and killings and that sometimes that conflict comes from long standing grudges#like i hate to say it but if youre teamed with someone at the time of the grudge happening youre gonna be lumped in with that grudge#also by her own logic isnt hannah killing derap unfair too since he was an indirect reason why their team was killed#and that hannah shouldve gone after mane instead?#(who has been tormenting not just her but the whole mice team for a certain span of time before the others went inactive btw)#maybe zam should say that by innocent players he means helpless ones maybe thatll get her off his back
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