#bruce wayne is awful

[frownyalfred]

love how Gotham goons are like "awh, it's the nice, quippy one" when they see Nightwing and then Dick shoves his fucking escrima stick down their throats until they choke on it and almost die

[neptunezo]

The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!

Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!

Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???

Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!

—

Steph: Cass and I are adopting…

Bruce: Holy shit, actually???

Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt

Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.

Steph: Too young…?

Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?

Cass: Too young for an iguana?

—

Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.

Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?

Damian: This is my second kid, duh

Bruce: Are you talking about goats?

Damian: Of course I am father

—

Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!

Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant

Tim:

Bruce: Is it a dog?

Tim: No it’s a tiger

—

Jason: I have something to tell you

Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?

Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter

Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her

Jason: What the hell are you talking about?

Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????

Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian

Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!

Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?

[finemealprompt]

DP x DC Prompt #27

When Dick's parent's fell, his first thought was, "This can't be happening." His second thought was, "What's going to happen to me and my brother now?"

The answer? His brother was older than him, much older. Old enough that he could stay with the circus. But Dick? Dick couldn't stay with Danny. He was too young.

So Bruce Wayne took him in, offered to take Danny in too. Dick begged his brother to join him, but Danny didn't. He smiled at Dick, ruffled his hair, and told him he'd be waiting at the circus for when Dick returned. Promised to send postcards and letters.

Then he was gone. And Dick never returned to the circus.

[bluegarners]

bruce and dick are both emotionally repressed but in kind of different but parallel ways. like, the repression that bruce experiences stems from never confronting trauma or any negative emotion, whereas dick's repression stems from needing to be the emotional support for an emotionally repressed man at the ripe age of 9 and so never being able to process any emotions associated with that responsibility

[violent138]

My personal headcanon for Clark Kent interviewing Bruce Wayne (when neither of them know each other's secret identity) is that Clark is the one person Bruce doesn't flirt with and leaves with a halfway coherent interview. A reluctantly impressed Perry White sends Clark repeatedly to get quotes, and work on more articles, leading to Bruce and Clark having several calls, some of which jokingly get called "off the record calls". This goes on for several months before they realize that's just called being friends, they hang out, and they have their identity reveal, it's less jarring because they know a lot about each other and Bruce informs Clark that he's sending Clark a suit made of more durable materials when Bruce realizes how rippable it is during making out.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt in Memes 6

Let's make it some in-world memes this time :)

[bruciemilf]

Girls when they think about the Waynes being ‘I bet on losing dogs’ and the Kanes being ‘Army Dreamers’ coded

[randombatcharts]

this seemed fun, here ya go! Sorry that they have been inconsistent lately, I will by trying to work on it but no garuntees

[kay-enemy]

Jason Todd is far more forgiving than I, who was never raised as a child soldier, could ever be.

if you’re looking at it with purely watsonian in universe reasoning, yeah Jason is the “holding onto a grudge for years” guy, but if he wasn’t also incredibly forgiving he and Bruce would’ve been no-contact years ago

[dailydccomics]

help the lil chaotic multidimensional demons Batman/Superman: World's Finest #25 by Mark Waid and Dan Mora

[mistress-of-vos]

Gotham Pride: So many WE sponsored posts that are bland and tacky. A bunch of cops with night sticks. Very boring. Bi Robin and lesbian Batwoman aren't even there. People are literally getting maced in the crowd. Police warned Catwoman not to go.

Metropolis Pride: There's a whole ass LOD float. Lex Luthor was in drag, got kissed by Superman AND Lois Lane. It lasts for a solid 4 days. No crimes are committed because no one wants to be called homophobic by the Superboys. Dreamer and Supergirl lead the parade. Everyone is having the time of their lives. Bi Robin was found dancing with Superboy and Impulse.

[frownyalfred]

“J’onn hates being around Batman because of his mind” Wrong. J’onn craves the moments he has to spend in Batman’s presence because Bruce Wayne is somehow the only person on the Watchtower, save maybe Victor, who can consistently keep his thoughts at an “inside” level.

[notfeelingthyaster]

you don't need to minimize other people's favorite because you have a favorite: it's okay to love damian, you don't need to shit on tim's character/erase his trauma. you can love tim and not shit on jason's run as robin. you can have cass or duke as a favorite and not diminish the other kids relationship with bruce and each other. and on, and on, and on.

[dragonpyre]

Bruce Wayne has crippling baby fever and you cannot convince me otherwise

[muttsona]

always very funny to me that fanon people try to paint red robin 2009 as being worse than it was when its like: this seventeen year old almost died because he was going insane trying to prove to everyone that bruce was alive. no he isnt crazy and youre the crazy one for not believing him. he fell out the window, he didnt know dick would be there to catch him. he was like a plank of wood on that hotel bed, he was bleeding out and he was prepared to die alone. he is nothing if not all the bad events that led up to red robin, and he is the faces that look at him like hes crazy. he isn't crazy.

[littlefankingdom]

Tumblr: You seem to like Bruce Wayne, aka Batman.

Me: Yeah, I do.

Tumblr: Then can I recommend you these posts tagged "Anti Bruce Wayne"?

Me: Why do you hate me so much?