#broken people all around | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justbookscatsandtea · 9 hours ago

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Honestly, I think a problem might be that WWX uses the "he can't live as an ordinary person. He is too competitive" as a reasoning to get WQ to do the core transfer. And that's the thing. We get the story from Wei Wuxians perspective. We get his biased view. And he was NOT doing well at that point in time either. He was absolutely desperate for a solution and he would have said and done pretty much anything at that point to save JC. And he was a biased narrator and it was always him calling JC too proud which as it turns out was rich coming from him because he cringed at himself for his arrogant attitude when he saw the flashbacks from Nie Mingjues perspective. Point is WWX and JC both have issues because they are human beings and this was a low point for both of them. Their character should not be judged solely for what they did at their most desperate. And in Mdzs you can't trust what you are told anyway because the truth is at least 3 layers and 5 conspiracies deeper than that. Even at the end no-one in the story has ALL the information. Everyone is still missing (fairly important) snippets. No-one knows about JC sacrifice for WWX. No-one knows what happened to WWX his first time in the Burial Mounds. All we can say is that all the characters lived through brutal times where they had to make hard choices which they were too young to make. Surrounded by powerful manipulators and way out of their depth. And all of them deserve at least a bit of sympathy. JGY for his desperate search for approval and power and always being scrutinised for being a prostitutes son. XY and the innocent child that he had been only to be brutally mutilated by a person in power because they could (and yes just a finger is not an argument because with what health care is a street kid supposed to heal). This is a story about broken people who were used by the generation before them and who are powering through devastating loss and power plays so we all should look at them with a bit more kindness.

And another rambling brought to you by me 😅

Why are JC antis so unbelievably stupid? They look at Jiang Cheng having a complete mental breakdown and being suicidal after suffering a devastating, life-altering injury (on top of having his parents murdered+ entire clans massacred) and somehow conclude, "Oh, he only reacts like that because he's egotistical and arrogant, he's too proud to live without his power and privilege" Like, do you even have brain up there? Or Is it just dust and cobwebs?

Imagine a star athlete who’s trained their entire life, poured blood, sweat, and tears into their work, only to have it all ripped away by a career-ending injury. Would you point at them in their lowest moment and go, "Wow, so dramatic. Guess they’re just too arrogant to live without their hard-earned skill"? No, because that would make you a garbage person. Yet here you are, doing exactly that and proudly broadcasting your lack of empathy and basic common sense. It's honestly impressive how hard y'all work to be this fucking stupid.

#jiang cheng #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #sometimes all you need to do is look at things with a bit more kindness #empathy #broken people all around #mdzs the powerful manipulators and their victims

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 8 months ago

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as someone who can have two cups of black tea several hours apart (never even one caffeinated coffee!) and then if i dare to venture any further i’m a jittery dizzy wreck who can’t sleep, i am so curious about how other people’s bodies handle this substance!

#the amount of caffeine all the people around me seem to be able to tolerate …….. staggering!#idk why i turned out so weird. i have a broken thyroid so that might be part of it.#dollsome's deep thoughts #polls

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n0ahsferatu · 10 months ago

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pov you are a locked chest or perhaps someone bleeding to death

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dykealloy · 11 months ago

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ripple effect legacy // my tears are becoming a sea, M83

#weaving parallels but god at what cost #something something luffy inheriting the will of a burnt out sun #something something the things we leave behind (broken promises. pain. little brothers. cool fire punch moves)#see the significance of ace is that he spends his whole life asking 'should i even have been born' and then through the positive #impact he has on everyone around him he creates a continuing cycle of change where people reach out a hand to help others #he said 'im not sure i deserve to live' and then became the most remembered and loved and sorely missed dude in one piece #like it's almost comedic how luffy keeps finding his big brother in the stories and best qualities of all the people he comes across vs.#people who knew ace and keep seeing pieces of him in luffy #anyway happy new year portgas d. ace trauma be upon ye~#one piece #op #portugas d ace #portgas d ace #asl brothers #yamato #wano spoilers #one piece spoilers #CJ's edits #amv #monkey d luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #CJ's op watch-through

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dykedvonte · 8 days ago

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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea #would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress #was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he #just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim #the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking #eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the #reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew #feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to #choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like #it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto #that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the #scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt #cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still #followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want #because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so #they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you #just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be #like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c #crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot #himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point #like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a #point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c #there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance #in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly #is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the #convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied #Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact #Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs #around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin #to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more

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the-woman-upstairs · 6 months ago

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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me #let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough #iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #armand #this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand #and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want #or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around #I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic #you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you #and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others #even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode #as a means of control both external and internal #this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of #armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior #and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship #idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires #all of this also ties into louis and daniel #because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him #someone HUMAN no less #and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis #breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t #not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones #it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize #like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia #I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself #it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors #that ultimately result in your own abandonment #god this fucking show

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eebie · 20 days ago

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Grinds my teeth to dust…. i wish touch didnt have so many Implications. im just trying to survive out here

#after all this i need a cuddle and a movie But who do i ask withoit them thinking im coming on to them #i need to paint a giant doomsday-guy-on-the-street-corner style sign to wear around my neck that says I AM AROMANTIC ASEXUAL #born to hug and kiss all my friends forced to stand around hands in my pockets #im scared to death of people misinterpreting my behavior or feeling uncomfortable #od be so much more relaxed like at a core of my being level if this was a nonissue #dude im desperate i might just ask the guy i almost fell asleep on tje otjet night #the ice is broken and he already knows my deal #(fantasizing about snuggling with people i like) im so fucked up ….#it’s also made way worse by tje fact that I apparently come off as very flirtatious #im playful and i love people Sorry …..#im like All or Nothing . oh my god lol #i had a friend who called me her ‘koala’ because i was constantly clinging to her #we were 7 so it was socially acceptable #99% of the time we were together i was wrapped around her legs or torso. i miss you so much sybil #the start of the end was when i innocently restrd my chin on my friend’s shoulder to watch what he was doing #and the next day someone asked me why i did that #i was like huh…? he’s my friend?#why wouldn’t i?#then i felt all weird about it And ive felt weird about it sincd #unrelated but my best friend is autistic she has misophonia and hates touch But im the misopjonia exception(real thing) AND #i’m one of the only people she hugs. straight up my biggest flex ever

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spacedlexi · 9 months ago

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people dont talk enough about how heartbreaking the marlon betrayal mustve been for clem too,,

this dude saves the life of her and her kid. takes them in has them patched up gives them their first hot meal in who knows how long. gives them a safe place to stay. possibly permanently. confides in her that hes trying to be a good leader but feels like and fears that hes failing. asks her to help him take care of the rest of the group. helps her get over her fear of dogs by asking her to trust him. and things go well. she feels safe. like this place could really finally be the home shes been looking for

but as soon as she finds out what happened to the twins. that marlon planned on giving up her and aj too. she immediately becomes a liability to him and he attempts to kill her for it. locks her in the basement to die by walker. then tries to turn the group against her so he can shoot her instead when the first method fails. and he nearly succeeds

then a majority of the group turn against clem the minute aj kills marlon. ignoring marlons mistakes but condemning aj for his. like clem wasnt betrayed by marlon in the exact same way he betrayed the twins. like she literally wasnt almost killed twice? and how long had he been considering giving her up? was it always some contingency he planned? did he truly want to keep them around and things only changed when he feared the raiders had returned? she'll never know

#i think about this a lot... the betrayal... clems deep trust issues... then they all want to kick her out (except vi aasim and tenn 💕)#when she was just as impacted if not more so than the rest of them. since she was the only one with her Life on the line #thats why violet fighting so hard for them to stay is so important imo and would MEAN SO MUCH to clem too #vi and aasim are the only ones who can see past the bullshit and realize that theyre safer with clem around #while the rest would rather kick her out so they dont have to acknowledge their confused feelings about marlon #like first marlon betrays her then the rest of the group tell her to get fucked and die. dont come back. we never want to see you again #but she does. and she saves them #personally i do think marlon had 'good' intentions but he was a scared and fucked up kid who made bad decisions #and continued to make bad decisions to cover for his previous fuck ups #but that just makes him interesting :)#and i like teaching aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly #all of clems 'wow i feel so safe here :) and these guys seem smart :)' personal dialogue around ericsons makes me 😭#she was so happy to be at ericsons. and they turn against her so fast when she was more of a victim than any of them #aj is a literal baby. do not treat him like an adult who can make fully rationalized decisions. hes a baby and he only knows survival #at least they slowly get over it after clem comes back (some take longer than others...)#but the lack of compassion in voting to kick them out is heartbreaking. she was heartbroken #and thats not acknowledged as much as it should be #posting this old drafted post now cuz it expands my feelings on clems broken heartedness about the marlon situation #it speaks #twdg

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yoihino · 11 days ago

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I can't get over the fact that both times the canary and miner curse has taken effect (Jimmy and Mumbo dying one after the other) it has been because of Grian. In Last Life he directly killed first Jimmy for trying to kill him and then Mumbo just a few seconds later for the same reason, and in Secret life they both died because of the Warden which Grian brought to the surface. Directly or indirectly, their deaths were caused by him.

And then you get Wild life, were if Mumbo hadn't decided to spare Jimmy he would have been eliminated first once again, and then Mumbo would have died, both of them to a contraption once more created (in the server) by Grian. We are all talking about canaries and miners in coal mines, but what about the dust that eventually kills them both?

#AAAH #I just saw too many posts talking about how the canary curse is broken and how Mumbo always dies after Jimmy #And I couldn't stop thinking about how Grian eliminated them both personally in pvp (which is rare for him he normally does traps) in Last #And then remembered that they both died to the warden vs wither fight #And it all came together #I think this could go really nicely with the whole watcher deal but I then you have to go into headcanons for the why #So I am leaving that to people who have more knowledge of the the whole watchers deal. Maybe when I get around watching Martyn's pov or smth #wild life #trafficblr #traffic smp #canary curse #mumbo jumbo #jimmy solidarity #grian #last life #secret life

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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months ago

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...

#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time #chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed #away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all #things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get #to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just #miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im #crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the #same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated

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angelsdean · 7 months ago

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once again, thee only time dean is reckless with Baby is when he's fucking staring at cas for five minutes straight while driving

#saw some stupid drunk driving discourse (again!) and i just. fucking cannot #i'm sorry but. if you really think this man is driving drunk you don't understand dean at all #he's not putting his car at risk and he's not putting the lives of others at risk #his whole life motto is centered around saving people and he's literally so broken up every time he fails to save people #also half the things people 'cite' as proof that he'd drive drunk just show me ya'll don't know what being drunk means #dean drinking a beer out of the cooler with sam at the end of an ep before driving off is not being 'drunk'#you think dean is getting drunk off of one beer?? be serious.#also dean literally sleeping at a bar instead of getting behind the wheel is um wow not him driving drunk!#dean forgetting how to drive bc he's losing his memory and sam THINKING dean is drunk / hungover is ALSO not dean driving drunk. wow!#anyways. we literally never see dean do anything to suggest he drives drunk. but people sure to love to project #fr one of my most hated fanon dean things of recent times #vic.txt

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fisheito · 5 months ago

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i am still sulking about no aster. (give me a few days and a couple watermelons and i'll be back to normal)

#i was one of the people who (after the reveal) fell to their knees in the burger king parking lot. maybe even wailed skyward for a smidge #my petty side says the silhouette tease and tagline HAD to have been intentional to get us to think of aster #my rational side says that they probably did not think that hard about it #and NO they are NOT intentionally bullying familiar fans and feeding off their betrayed tears /... i hope 😂#no ears and tail.... twink who gets burnt.... WHAT WE COULD HAVE HAD....#me 1: don't you like garu? what's the problem?#me 2: i'm CONFLICTED ok. i can like the char but still feel BITTERLY DESTROYED ABOUT LOST POTENTIAL #I NEEEED THE TRANSGRESSIOnS. THE BREAKS IN THE PATTERNS!!!!#oh if we had a familiar treated as a clan member. an aster dante quincy banner. unbelievable. the comedy of it all #i mean. at least this trio is a new combo. AND they haven't been in summer banners before...?#er. summer banners likE THIS. with the beachwear and stuff.#gaAAAHHH but tthe fact that they made it garu #MEANS THAT WIPES OUT ANY IMMINENT DREAMS OF MY TRIPLE YOKAI EVENT #aaaaaahhh. i see. THAT's what this is about #what? like they're gonna suddenly break the pattern and have an event that's JUST yakumo and kuya?#please. we have seen by now that no molds shall be broken. *pathetic sniff*#i guess we'll just keep doing the same top-bottom pairs forever...#and certain characters will never get to mingle with others because they've been SORTED #into HOLE FILLER and HOLE FILLED-EE #*rolls around on the floor in a melodramatic whiny flopfest*#LET THEM ALL ROAM FREE RAAAAAAAAAAANGE

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angelnumber27 · 6 months ago

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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

#I fucking hate having bpd #while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you #I feel so stupid #I feel so stupid for believing all the lies #but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist #I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed #it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time #I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead #it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid #being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world #for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately #like that was the plan all along #he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day #I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me #i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him #I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me #not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together #I’ll never be that beautiful again #and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over #it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all #he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up #nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken #it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover #I deserved it but it still hurts my heart #I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me #there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other #but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked #why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 1 year ago

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Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

#I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but joining this fandom made me fucking hate the word ‘redemption’#no person I’ve seen who is in love with the concept knows the who what where when why or how it should work in a story #apparently it isn’t just themes and tropes anymore people don’t understand the proper use of the word ‘villain’#kelseethe #also hilarious: Jason should recieve sensitivity training HR style from Bruce ‘I’m the government and children are my cronies’ wayne #if Jasons headstrong/‘answers to no one’ attitude towards vigilantism is what makes people think he's villainous #I hate to be a broken record but the baddie you’re describing is Bruce #nobody thinks he’s a villain for only trusting in his own methods/self and repeatedly isolating himself #and on top of that gaslighting and hurting people around him in attempts to do what HE **thinks** is the right thing #you people always thought *him* heroic not problematic for all these traits #the only difference is Jason isn’t psychologically abusive & controlling #yet he’s still the bad guy just cause he liberally kills folks in the crime business.#l'd argue goth ham war is the b*tman story to remind you of everything that makes Bruce authentically himself #Idk how to tell you that Bruce mentally compromising/crippling his son in a twisted attempt to ‘save him from himself’#is perfectly in line with slitting the same son’s throat because he couldn’t stand to see him avenge his own killer #and yk what a redemption arc could be interesting for someone like Bruce #because he rarely questions or doubts his choices esp wrt Jason. no matter how morally dubious they may be #I think it would be quite fun to witness his extremely restricted worldview be challenged/shattered he deserves that humbling experience

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buckingham-ashtray · 3 months ago

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The Invisible Clubber........................ SMILING. CAN'T STOP SMILING. LIFE SO HAPPY. LOVE. LOVE LIFE. BEAT GETTING FASTER. CAN'T STOP SMILING. NOW JUST HARMONY. NO BEAT. MELODY. STOP MOVING. SMILE TO THE SKY. ALL STANDING STILL. BEAUTIFUL. NEVER BEEN SUCH HARMONY IN ALL HISTORY. WANT TO KISS EVERYONE. THEY WANT TO KISS ME. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.................

Sebastian's Story.......... Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die. I'll find myself drifting off, staring at something, anything and I'll stop blinking. I feel my whole body slowing down... My heartbeat... And I wonder how long it'll be broken

*Sorry that I couldn't find the source where I got this from and have no idea when this was released. If anyone has the link I will be very glad to insert it!

#warning: expand the tags at your own risk #I've been way too jolly lately.#time to break some hearts.#oh sherlock.#I could barely type out the invisible clubber I wanted to stick my head into the door frame and have someone slam the door on me #want me to drop dead on the spot? sing oh what a night #oh the invisible clubber. the only thing I could think about is sherlock being so alone and so lost at john's wedding reception #he loves dancing so much and all around him people are dancing but he is so Alone.#he was just standing there jostled by the crowd and turning in circles being drowned in the suffocating lonliness #and so he left. he returned to 221b alone and let cocaine pump his heart for him and wrote that entry in delirium.#The. Invisible. Clubber.#tell me how else could we possibly interpret this.#and please don't mention sebastian's story to me if you don't want me to die in a gory mess on you.#“Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die.”#“And I wonder how long it'll be broken”#don't.#please don't.#I am going to die of heartbreak and mofftiss YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE #nothing should ever be this painful and we're not even sherlock #just imagine how utterly tortured sherlock is this entire time #I'm going to stop now. my tags are getting ridiculously out of control #bbc sherlock #sherlock #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #sherlock s3 #the sign of three #tsot #buckingham-ashtray

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sunmoontruth-stiles · 8 months ago

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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

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