#bro this healing shit hurts can i PLEASE BE DONE WITH IT

[owchieee]

ive seen it all from my space rocket

[coffeegnomee]

ugh sometimes watching Kab pov I get real sympathetic for how difficult it must be to be in her brain and just be so confused all the time and exhausted about masking her feelings to make other people trust her and her pain in wanting to be vulnerable and receive vulnerability and feel deep reciprocal love.

But then she says shit, really fucking mean and toxic shit towards mental health and healing and it triggers my own fight or flight and i become a ball of rage.

And like, I do get it. When you start your journey of mental health healing you often become the toxic one as you throw the shit people have said to you at everyone who also has similar mental health issues as you. (been there done that) Doing it to process your own rage at being told these things, or thinking, out of desperation, that if you can just get them to fix themselves quickly, you can fix yourself quickly. The bullied becomes the bully.

But then time passes and you realize this shit is hard to overcome. (or maybe it won't ever be overcome! and that's okay!) And you stop being toxic and you start being compassionate, to yourself and others. And eventually you start to heal and become confident in your own self worth and the validity of your emotions.

But before then it's the fucking worst place to watch someone be in. And that place is unfortunately where we are right now.

below is a short transcript of the convo this reflection is based off of. it can be triggering so like, don't feel obliged to read it.

11/10/24 kab vod: "I have no idea what's happening"

1:42:00 KAB: “what about how he makes me feel? Why is it so important what he feels and to accommodate everything he’s feeling? Why do i have to conceded to that???”

1:44:00 “I’m sick of having to accommodate to everyone else’s actions” 

realizing your masking is hurting you is one of the worst realizations (imo). bc the mask keeps you safe, but if you can't process or give worth to your real emotions, it's not serving you.

so she swaps from processing her own feeling to being angry at zam.

1:47:00 She gets he needs time and space, but “We don't have time for to try and sit and process your emotions properly. Do it after we deal with this fucking issue [...] sometimes you just need to toughen up” 

Fucking hell the trigger i just felt for just toughen up. 

1:48:00 “i need to know what he’s thinking so that we can work together. In a team!” 

what team!?!

“‘Does zam really hate communication more than he likes spawn and the server’ literally. Like pick your priorities dude.”

I’m going to fucking throw up. Because yes. Actually yes. Unfortunately and actually yes. He's gotten a lot better but like.

1:53:00 “I dunno. I wish he would care about himself as much as i care about him. Hard to see him like this [pause] maybe he does need more nurturing than i can give him bro ugh. I am just not- i am not good at that shit. I think it’s stupid [..] when you have a job to do [..] just shove your emotions away for a bit. And then you can process them later” 

I was going to say this is just eclipse, but I just realized that maybe it's just this is exactly the perception Zam had of Vi: that Vi just wanted him to move on when he couldn't. All his deepest fears of what Vi wanted from him are being personified into a new person. 

(also he is shoving his emotions away and that's why he's not processing it and giving you an answer for why he "doesn't know"????? but since he's not a perfect ball of joy and masking to you and because he is doing what you can't (shove emotions away) you are in rage)

1:54:00  “But it’s like, while there’s a life or death situation that literally determines the entire server we don't have time to be like, holding your hand, you know? Like, you're an adult” ughh fuck. being broken is inconvenient for others and age is seen as an invalidation to any of your real brokenness. If you're old you no longer have the right to be broken. Can we please change this narrative? thx

“If he cared enough he would actively try and do something to help himself in this situation” 

Interesting choice of words to say "he would try to help himself if he cared" complaining about others not "working" on themselves (and you can never know if someone is working on themselves bc you're not in their brain) helps nobody bc you can only control yourself.

“You just want to sit and feel bad about yourself” no that's what you're doing kab

“He got me to fucking open up to him and pour my heart out and is now turning his back on that entirely. That’s what i’m actually more upset about” 

oh the naive belief that because you pour your heart out to someone they must reciprocate. That is the risk you take when you are honest with someone about your feelings. They are at no obligation to reciprocate ever. Never ever. But that doesn't mean your feelings aren't true and it doesn't mean you shouldn't have done it. Love is a risk.

But also she feels she was forced into it. Forced to be vulnerable and she hates the vulnerability. She doesn't remember (or believe) that Zam promised to not use it against her. She isn't willing to give him the chance to not use it against her. He simply knows and that is a threat.

So love turns into spite. Instantly. And she doesn't want to talk to him anymore. And decides that she will just be fake to him.

oh girl. keeping the mask on doesn't help anything. 

“I’ve lost a lot of respect for him today. I’m done trying to impress him”

and so the mask returns. and healing stops.

[etherealising]

well…🤭 honestly i’m pretty much dropping them as a whole i fear. i did a rewatch like a month or so ago and it hit me then (especially rewatching s2) but after watching that trailer for the third time it’s official. I think in the beginning i wanted sydcarmy sooo badly i was willing to overlook the red flags (and we all know how many there are 💀) but i just can’t do it anymore. while i still acknowledge the intimate moments they shared together i just view them as *pause for dramatic effect* platonic. they share a platonic intimacy that YES is stronger than whatever that was b/w camry and claire s2. but it still feels just that, platonic. i think we don’t see those kinds of dynamics enough. carol and daryl from twd are a great example i think (i’ll add a text i sent to a friend a while ago where i explain further). while i believe that syd and camry understand each other in a way that no one else can, i still think sydney deserves so much better than carmen. i think he uses and abuses her and that if people loved her like they say they do, they would want more for her. she can’t fix him y’all and neither can claire but honestly she can go ahead and take him off our hands if she wants to try so bad. she has dreams and ambitions that are greater than a romantic relationship with camry. we saw how her and richie stepped up and ran shit in the season 2 finale. he needs her and not the other way around. say they do get together. do we think those anger issues and erratic and abusive behaviors are just gonna cease to exist? that man needs therapy and years of it before he’d ever be good enough for her as a romantic partner. hell, he’s a shitty business partner! (and i’m not saying he needs to be a completely healed person to be worthy of love let’s be clear, syd need therapy too.) i say, introduce someone new for sydney! or just let her be, that’s also an option. but yeah i think i’m done. also i’m hoping the writers let her and marcus stay friends cause it’s giving little bro 😬. (just another example of a man mistaking a woman’s kindness for flirting let’s be real) she needs friends anyway and because what other ones does she have? (please don’t say camry, that man is not her friend 😭. they’re kinda like family atp. 🫣🤷🏾‍♀️ ) and marcus may need someone like sydney to talk to anyways if what i fear may happen, happens this season for him.

i tried so hard to respond to all of your points and then i started ranting but i hope this makes sense and in short i do find myself heavily agreeing with you.

bestie as soon as i saw the thesis you provided me with i knew i had to take some time to digest it and as much as it hurts dare i say…. i think i have to agree with you : (

i too was blinded by how badly i wanted sydcarmy to thrive and i think i was also fighting so hard against the way people in the fandom were trying to discount their “romance” because ayo is a black woman and they couldn’t fathom their favorite fictional white boy of the week lovin on someone who isn’t the “beauty standard” that i definitely overlooked just how toxic their whole situation is.

and you are so right it was so easy to get caught up with how badly i wanted them together and a series rewatch will definitely slap you in the face and let you know how blinded you were. now please don’t fight me but i think its def giving platonic/little bro from syd like homegirl is just trying to live out her dreams, but i def think carmy may look at her with a bit of a romantic undertone because of how you mentioned they understand each other and i think bc he feels like no one has really ever understood him including his own family that he finds himself drawn to syd, she pretty much validates his whole existence and challenges him instead of settling for the mediocrity that man constantly gives that in a way he has taken her platonic care and worry for him as something more. like he literally admitted he was a loner man doesn’t understand HOW to be friends especially not with women.

let me get on my soapbox real quick. you are absolutely 100% right syd deserves someone a thousand times better than carmy and i definitely want more for her, if i’m being honest i want her to leave the bear whenever she gets that chance but that’s a whole other convo. i can rant about claire and carmy for hours but i’m genuinely just so tired of them and i’m not looking forward to seeing their relationship this season whoops. to me it felt like carmy only began respecting syd after she came back and now he has this mindset that no matter how much vitriol he spews her way she’ll always be there for him and its like a crutch for him. what really sealed the deal for me is the whole take out episode from season one, did syd fuck up 100% yes and was carmy’s anger justified also yes but not to the extent that he went, every time i rewatch that scene of him throwing the sharpie in syd’s direction as she walks away i feel genuine disgust like yes i know the sharpie wasn’t working and that got him even more irritated but he could’ve thrown it in so many different directions and i’m not saying he purposely aimed to hit syd but rewatching that really just showed me how immature he is and how much growing he really does need. like if your next response to your own anger is to get violent and start throwing shit around you definitely need to work on yourself before trying to mess with someone else’s peace of mind.

if they were to get together it would not change carmy at all, getting involved romantically with someone does not change you as a person unless YOU WANT THAT CHANGE FOR YOURSELF! and what we’ve seen from carmy is that as much as he pushes everyone else to change and evolve it doesn’t seem to be something he can do for himself or thinks he’s capable of. and yes please keep syd and marcus as friends there is literally zero chemistry between those two regarding romance, like can we just let syd be the successful woman she wants to be and maybe offer her romance if she wants it.

also let me go back to the topic of change real quick just look how quick he was to attack richie while he was stuck in the walk-in, he was literally projecting his deep seeded insecurities onto richie while richie took the change carmy pushed on him like a fucking champ and got shit done with his bestie syd (these fics i’m writing for this man really got me defending richie)

i will end my nonsensical rant by saying this: no self-respecting person in this fandom would actually ever date carmy and i stand by that ten toes down. its very clear that he has his own behaviors he needs to work out and there is nothing wrong with that and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love but that also doesn’t mean his partners should be subjected to the mental and emotional weight that would come with loving him, it would definitely get tiring fast. and to take it a step further if carmy wasn’t played by a white man the masses find attractive most everyone would definitely be singing a different tune in regards to him. (like please imagine the microagressive think pieces we would get every season if carmen berzatto was poc)

the carmen berzatto we know and see right now will always love self-sabotaging more than he could ever love anyone else.

[straykidsreactionsandscenarios]

StayTeez Trope’Pril - Trope Prompt 8: Friends with benefits

Post Date: 24th April 2023 Content: Slight angst/ Fluff - Friends with benefits : Hyunjin x Reader Word Count: 1.3K TW?: Drinking/ Hyunjin got out of a bad relationship/ Soft boi hour shit Summary: Spin the bottle with the twist and an ending, well, start to a friendship that you didn’t expect. 

~ Scenario Mobile Masterlist                                     Prompt List StayTeez Trope’Pril Masterlist If you like my stuff and wanna tip, just buy me a coffee!

Game night with the boys is always a rollercoaster. Especially when spinning the bottle comes out to play.

To be fair, you’ve all had a few to drink so not the soberest, Chan being the only one to stay sober so he can look after you all.

“Y/N!” Hyunjin screams, running into the room and throwing himself on you, making you panic slightly when he slips but luckily has a soft landing on the pillows.

“Stupid.” Han cheers out, poking his friend in the rib.

“Your foot was in the way! Be careful where you’re putting yourself!” Hyunjin dramatically exclaims as you burst out laughing, playing with his hair to calm him down.

“Why are you laughing?!” He continues.

“It’s a little funny!” You snicker, trying to cover your mouth to try and compose yourself from laughing more.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes at you before Pouting as he sits himself up, poking his tongue out at you.

Doing it back to him, you hear the other boys chatting between themselves.

“Seriously get together already.” Felix groans, sipping his drink.

“Felix. The hell dude?” You glare at him, everyone knows Hyunjin’s going through a bad breakup, and there’s no room for any moves to be made.

“Bro, no.” Hyunjin hisses, feeling a little.

Hyunjin knows it’s meant to be a joke but part of him still hasn’t healed from the previous relationship, affecting him more than he realised it would.

“Spin the bottle, Y/N.” Seungmin complains as it’s been your turn for a little while and he just wants to get on with it.

“Fine.” You roll your eyes teasingly at him, reaching across the floor to spin, coincidentally landing on Felix.

“Take a drink, spill a truth about yourself or come here and kiss me.” You lay out the options, and he takes a sip of his drink, winking at you.

The version of spin the bottle you have isn’t just for a kissing game. Usually, it’s your way to do truth or dare, but with a twist. Now it was time for Felix to spin the bottle.

Then Changbin.

Back to Felix who manages to get it to land on you.

“Same back at you, Y/N. Truth, dare or kiss me.” Felix smirks, knowing you weren’t going to kiss him.

“Dare.”

There was a speed at which you answered, surprising everyone as you bite your tongue. Ready for what’s coming your way.

“I dare you... To...” Felix taps his chin, pointing towards Hyunjin, “Kiss Hyunjin.”

As you’re getting yourself prepared to do it, shrugging it off as you knew that’ll come your way, you notice how Hyunjin just gets to his feet and walks out of the room. Excusing himself.

"Well done." You side eye Felix, who's now realising he's taken a joke a little too far.

Knowing he's going to have to apologise for it later but before he could even get to his feet, you're already chasing Hyunjin to his room.

"Jinnie, please open the door." You lightly tap on it, and you hear a light sound of music playing.

No answer.

"Jinnie, please. It's only me here." You plead lightly, getting ready to sit outside his door if you really have to just so he knows he has a little company if he needs it.

Though before you could even get comfortable, the door opens behind you, almost fall into his room as you use the door for support.

Hyunjin scoffs lightly to himself at his desk, "Careful, you might get hurt".

You laugh as you get yourself up, closing the door behind you and take a seat on his bed. Carefully reaching over, you place a gentle hand on his arm, caressing it with your thumb as you share a soft smile.

There was nothing to say at that moment for either of you. You just wanted to let him know that you're there for him, and he doesn't even have to apologise for leaving. You understood his situation and you weren't one to put your input on anything.

Spinning his chair around to face you, he takes hold of your hand in his gently.

His long blonde hair falls in front of his eyes slightly, and you give in no time to react to carefully place them behind his ears, cupping his cheek briefly before letting go.

The second he lets his eyes connect with yours, he takes hold of your wrist of the hand that gently cupped his face, pulling it back to where it felt right for him. It's comforting.

You didn't question in, thinking he just needed someone to be soft with him, to let him have his moment.

"You don't have to go back out there if you don't want to. And I can just sit in here with you. Maybe drinking with them at the moment isn't the best idea." You suggest, smiling softly as he nods in reply, pulling you up onto his lap to hug you tightly.

Again, you found nothing wrong with this. You were gentle with all of them, always willing to give them hugs and be there when they just need someone to hold them.

It did make you feel a little guilty considering that his relationship ended not so long ago and you just didn't want him to get hurt by you continuing on the physical affection, even if it was platonic.

"Felix didn't mean harm, he's just trying to have a laugh." Hyunjin tries to defend his friend, hurting himself more as he feels as though he's overreacting to the situation.

Shaking your head, you cup his face in both hands, making him look at you, "No, you have every right to get hurt by these jokes. Don't try and defend him even if you know he has no bad intentions behind it."

Another moment of silence.

Hyunjin could only share a small smile as you continue to hold his face, pulling back all of his emotions just to act as though he's okay.

"Are you okay?" You ask lightly, knowing the answer but hoping your consolation has helped him a little as he looks back in your eyes again.

His hand lightly trails up your arm until he's cupping your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss as you freeze on him.

"I'm so sorry." He apologises quickly, lifts leaving yours as he hangs his head lowly.

"Don't be..." You reply softly, lips tingling from it. At least you can tell Felix that you managed to take the round. But you wouldn't hurt Hyunjin like that.

"This can stay between us." You offer with a grin, pulling him back for another kiss, hesitating slightly before pulling you back in properly.

The kiss deepens slightly but you pull away, hesitant to hurt him more if you let him continue.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" You ask him, brows furrowing in concern.

Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin looks back at you, "I'm not sure but kissing you felt right and made me feel okay." He replies slowly, completely lost in your eyes at this point.

"I don't want you to get hurt more than you already are." You justify, as you try to keep his attention when he tries to look away.

Another small sigh from him, "Could we just do this as a comfort thing? No attachments so no one gets hurt? I couldn't trust anyone else."

Your heart harms at this but you're still slightly sceptical, needing reassurance that he's 100% with what he wants to do.

"Promise me you want to do this." You point up your pinky finger for him to take, kissing him lightly as he does so, "Please stop when it gets too much for you. I don't want to hurt you, okay?".

"Okay." He replies through the kiss with a smile on his face.

For the first time in a while, he's feeling okay.

~

Taglist: @hipster-shiz, @ateezreactionsandscenarios, @whatudowhennooneseesyou, @bellscamander

[broadway-dave]

so that was fun

except for the part where @broadway-terezi​ talked over me i wasnt even done

really didnt like that

anyway it was a sad day when he jumped up to that ring

good thing dsprite came in clutch though

lyrics under the cut

[VERSE 1]

Oh Egbert, oh Egbert, oh Egbert, come down

Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you

Oh Egbert, it's not much but there's proof

You crazy-assed heir of breath, remember your virtue

Redemption lies plainly in truth

Just humor us, oh Egbert, oh Egbert, come down

Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

[INTERLUDE 1]

[You know I'm from the future, Egbert, you've got to listen to me. I know vaguely what she's telling you might seem like a good idea at first but you gotta stop and actually think about it man. Like a shortcut? Really? She's toying with you.]

[VERSE 2]

Oh Egbert, oh Egbert, oh Egbert, come down

Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken

Remember the pact of our youth

Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping

Since there is no us without you

Soldier on, oh Egbert, oh Egbert, come down

Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

[PRE-CHORUS 1]

Loathe the way the game took our homes

But love the sweet shit we've been making

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone

Engage with the game and awaken

[CHORUS 1]

Today, of all days, see

How the most dangerous thing is to trust

How you will heal and you'll rise above

[INTERLUDE 2]

[Well, not literally. Seriously, put that thing down. Would you do this in your ghostbusters MMO? If you try to go through with this crazy ass plan the whole timeline will be doo- ]

Oh Egbert, oh Egbert, oh Egbert, fly now

You are absent of cause or excuse

So self-indulgent and self-referential

No Alternian would stay there like you

You crave all the power yet hate all the waiting

So listen, you’ll save your whole crew

I’m not trolling, oh Egbert, so go with it now

It's a pointless resistance for you

[INTERLUDE 3]

[If you just listen to me, you know that I'm speaking logically. Jumping ahead can get you so much loot and power up your whole team! All those rare grist types that'll be there too, you can alchemize some wicked shit. Hear me out here!]

[VERSE 3]

Oh Egbert, oh Egbert, just put down the rocket

Don't listen to what you've been told

It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy

Of feeding and it's wholly untrue

You may think its worth it or a chance worth the taking

It's all just bullshitting and gloom

And there will not be meaning, I've been there and seen it,

Do not waste yourself on this roof

[PRE-CHORUS 2]

Hear those bells ring deep in the soul

Chiming away for a moment

Feel your breath course frankly below

And see life as a worthy opponent

[CHORUS 2]

Today, of all days, see

How the most dangerous thing is to trust

How you will heal and you'll rise above

Crowned by an overture bold and beyond

Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

[INTERLUDE 4]

[Egbert, she’s sending you to your death. And if you die, so does Jade. Don't take the risk.]

[BRIDGE]

You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers (it's not worth it, oh Egbert)

To just win the game or shiny grist colors (don't listen, oh Egbert)

But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker (you're worth more, oh Egbert)

You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)

You want my opinion, my opinion you've got (no one asked your opinion)

You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts (no one asked for your thoughts)

Be done with this now and jump off the roof (be done with this now and get off the roof)

Can you hear me, oh Egbert? I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

Oh Egbert, come down

Oh Egbert, come down

[INTERLUDE 5]

[I know you're still considering it, but I promise it ain't worth it. This ain't just about the game, we’re best bros. I think Jade would miss you too, but Rose definitely did. So please, man, just listen to me and not that troll. ]

[VERSE 4]

Throw yourself into the unknown

With pace and a fury defiant

Clothe yourself in beauty untold

And see life as a means to a triumph

[CHORUS 3/OUTRO]

Today, of all days, see

How the most dangerous thing is to trust

How you will heal and you'll rise above

Crowned by an overture bold and beyond

Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

[readyandnot]

ready rambles~

sovereign state season one finale

part three thoughts

spoilers under the cut

* well already the thumbnail is basically inversion- so i hoped that they wouldn’t summon in the middle of the stadium cause that’s fucking terrible.

* I CALLED IT

I FUCKING CALLED ITTTT

* STARLIGHT GETTING THEIR MEMORIES BACK LETS GOOO

* let’s talk about the memories cause omg- THEIR FIRST MEETING, it’s so crazy to see that their dynamic really isn’t any different, and avior is the same guy hence why he was sarcastic again when he pulled starlight back in- now of course his sarcasm is limited because he did fall in love with starlight BUT ITS STILL THERE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN

* next- the HEALING GOD THERES SO MANY HEALING SCENES IN THIS SERIES; i wonder how starlight got injured? they must have tried a plan that didn’t work? maybe got lost in a circle? nevertheless AVIOR STARTING TO GET SOFT WITH STARLIGHT I CANT the fact that he calls them “human” bro come on we all know you have a cuter nickname you can use LMAO; hearing the teasing and laughing from him AFTER SEEING HIM HURTING FOR SO LONG, it’s so bittersweet, i hope we can see him like this again in the future after everything

* also THE PARALLEL OF AVIOR NOT BEING COMPLETELY TRUSTING TO STARLIGHT VS WHEN STARLIGHT WASNT SURE IF THEY COULD TRUST HIM WHEN THEY GOT PULLED BACK IN I CANTTTT

* next- the kissing. i am still not over it. i have listened to this audio 5 times now, and i’m still not over this part. IM IMAGINING WHAT LED UP TO THIS AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTER AHHHHH; the teasing in between kisses. i love them so much. THE PASSION. THE LOVE YOU CAN TELL THEY FEEL FOR EACH OTHER.

* then, the “confession” scene i’ll call it; i hc that this is right after that previous memory (cause let’s be honest that was getting hot and heavy-) but i’d like to think after all that they talked about it and that’s where this memory comes in. HES SO SOFT FOR STARLIGHT, i’m just imagining him grabbing their face and just ADMIRING THEM. he’s such a romantic holy shit

* THE FINAL MEMORY OF THEM TALKING ABOUT THE COFFEE SHOP. OMG. the “starlight, look at me, please.” gets me every damn time. his comfort is soft and so beautiful it truly makes me so happy. i love this relationship so much.

* “i love you. so much.” STARLIGHT LOVES YOU TOO I PROMISE

* also- can we just appreciate the piano music for a sec? BECAUSE ITS SO SIMPLE YET SO BEAUTIFUL. i love using the music as another form of storytelling, it’s such a nice addition and doesn’t take away from anything, i love and have loved it so much. it’s so calming in a way. i wonder what music he used…

* THEYRE HOMEEEEEEE LETS GO; to all you non believers… haha :)

* THE DISBELIEF, THE REUNITING AND HUGGING, THE SIGHS AND SHUDDERS OF RELIEF- chef’s kiss, a wonderful reuniting

* SO STARLIGHT WANTED AVIOR TO GO THROUGH THEIR MIND- the parallel of avior telling them he could use that as a trick- BUT THEM SUGGESTING IT NOW OMG; i mean it makes sense, i honestly would’ve done the same because one- i would want him to see what i saw and two- it is really hard to explain and quote like it’s nothing so it’s a perfectly valid way to explain

* THE HESITATION. THE CONSENT. TAKE NOTES CUTIE.

* “behind this wall, come on.” I IMAGINE HE GRABBED THEIR HAND AND PULLED THEM UP AHHHH

* avior baby i’m sorry you’re overwhelmed but you had to see that. THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS THEY HAVE THEIR MEMORIES BACK, I CAN SEE THE SHOCK AND REALIZATION ON HIS FACE

* “and how do you feel about that?”

* [what i think starlight said]

“like this…” AND GOES TO KISS HIM COME ON ITS PERFECT

* THE KISSINGGGGG SUCH UTTER PERFECTION- THE MELTING INTO IT FUCK

* listen avior, priorities are priorities- kissing your partner after so long before coming to terms with your mission is definitely a top priority. i don’t blame you one bit lol

* “i’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that you don’t fucking hate me!”

* “i never hated you.”

* so…. it happened on new year’s eve. I KNEW THE THUMBNAIL HAD TO DO WITH INVERSION

* also the fact that they were there for over two years and it was only less than one hour in the real world??? can someone do that math cause i cant-

* THE SIMPLE THINGS LIKE A DARK ALLEY AVIOR I GET IT ITS OKAY

i hate to see characters cry, but this time it’s understandable, and it’s not like a heartbreak cry, it’s a relief. something that avior and starlight needed- relief.

* THEY COULD HEAR THE PORTAL OPEN??? THEY CANT BE THAT CLOSE; AVIOR DO NOT GET ANY CLOSER I DONT WANT YOU TO BE LIKE GAVIN

* and then they stopped hearing the screaming, because that’s how quick the decision was made by david. holy shit. it sounded like it was forever because we heard everyone’s perspectives when in reality it was less than a minute, and we finally saw that. that’s crazy.

* “too late to stop this tide.” SO WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???

* “we just traded one hell for another” WAIT ITS NOT YOUR FAULT COME ON NOW

wow, all i can say is wow. this series is something i did not expect i would come to love so much when i first listened- but it had me hooked from the first audio. now i was one of the luckier ones and got to catch up before the “confession” audio. but i still had to wait and feel everyone’s pain of the wait LOL

but it was so worth it. getting to this point to where we’re almost caught up in the current timeline is worth it. seeing the character development slowly going from slow burn to not and reuniting was worth the wait.

avior has definitely risen up in my ranks for the characters because his development and arc is a beautiful thing. we saw him at his lowest and highest moments, we saw him make mistakes, learn and love. he is a character that i’ve grown to love and i’m sure other people have as well.

starlight. starlight is truly one of my favorite listeners at this point- they’re such an intriguing person, no wonder avior fell for them LMAO, but they have this personality that’s infectious and a soul that’s admirable; they are a person who is stubborn in the best way possible and it’s been amazing seeing how they dealt with the situation. and how they are with avior back then, when they got back in, and how they are now!

i’m so excited for season two, i have a lot of theories and ideas- for example, how they could possibly meet people working for project meridian, or helping take down closeknit with sunshine and elliott (maybe even sweetheart?), and maybe even colliding with vega and warden at some point! there’s so many options and ways this can go, and i’m so thrilled to see that they’ll do it together.

thank you redacted for such a wonderful series and i speak for everyone when i say that we cannot wait for what will go on in season two.

what’s next- now i believe we would get more updates with the balance after the avior season one finale! that’s going to be something- just back to back angst WE DO NOT HAVE A BREAK LOL, but i’m so excited for the balance and the upcoming simpler videos! let’s see what the next lineup has in store :)

ps- vote for milo for march redactness HE DESERVES TO WIN OKAY SAM ALREADY WON

here’s to the believers o7 thanks for reading <3

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts #229

BBS Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starter: [ 9 ]

H2ODELIRIOUS

What the hell is this shit?

I made it, I fucking made it.

I got the checkpoint.

This is going to be a good one.

What sheep?

He ain’t clicking no buttons.

It didn’t hit me.

Is this the money?

I don't think none of us have a soul.

I didn't mean to get up here.

Look at all these damn idiots.

Bring all the books.

Where’s the device?

We can beat his ass.

Don’t worry about that alarm.

That sounds like a lovely weapon.

Someone’s shooting at something over here.

I didn’t mean to do that.

I shouldn’t have done that at all.

They’re having a hell of a party in that room.

BRYCE

There's a rat in the kitchen!

Don't worry guys, I know what to do.

What do we do with him?

I gave one guy a rat.

I told you not to let my stuff catch on fire!

Oh my God, this is so stressful.

All the bread is cooked, bro.

At least someone is enjoying our food.

I bought ninety dollars of cheese.

Alright, guys, this is our moment.

SMII7Y

Let me get that off.

Amateur, you should’ve had that off in the first place.

Wait, no, don’t type it.

Look at him, he’s struggling under there.

Wait, did they fix this?

No, no, please, how do I get out of this?

I’m covered in guts.

Go to the safe room, just go to the safe room.

You guys better shut the fuck up, I’m out here fighting for my life trying to save this guy!

Don’t worry about this part.

BIGPUFFER

How do I do this?

I'm gonna slap you across the face, shut the fuck up.

I'm going left, I guess.

I'm doing pretty well for myself.

Cause you're hurtful to me.

Someone's already on it.

What happens if he loses the juice?

We're on a fucking deserted island.

It literally flipped upside down.

Just so I can hear him be miserable.

NOGLA

Oh, that was funny.

He's going so slow, but he did it.

No one cares about your inner monologue.

He better be ready for my chlamydia.

He's either going to heal it or get it, it's one of the two.

Alright, I don't want to hear no complaining back there.

I don't know about you guys, but I got wet.

You have more kills than them.

That's why we did that? To kill time?

Hop out, guys, no time like the present.

TERRORISER

What the fuck are you talking about?

How the fuck can you not know me?

Well, you found a way to make it offensive.

I win, I win again!

What the fuck did you just do?

I'm absolutely baffled how he got up there.

Why are you shooting?

What is it asking us to do?

Yeah, I did, I put it somewhere fucking useful.

Good thing we didn't lose our cool in there, guys.

VANOSSGAMING

That’s right guys, you don’t die, you just turn into a chicken.

Is this acid?

I didn’t get any, I need some.

I can’t understand you at all.

Who is that super villain?

We can do that after, you know, we win the game.

Goddamnit, I was going to jump too.

We're fine, we're fine, kill this guy real quick.

This is how my kitchen looks every time I try to cook.

I thought you were gonna say drugs.

BASICALLYIDOWRK

Anyways, as I was trying to say…

This guy is fucking cheating, bro, I don't know what the fuck is going on.

How about you shut the fuck up.

 I don't even want to play anymore.

It was pretty smooth.

What if we…held hands?

I have to protect you with my life.

What is your role, dumbass?

Kick him in the dick.

We need to turn around and go the complete opposite direction.

KRYOZ

That was an absolute nightmare on my ears.

You know the answer, dumb bitch.

This is like Titanic, kiss me, hold me.

Why'd you draw that dude?

Dude, there's like a lot of fucking rust on this grill and it is being a bitch.

I think you can hit a little bit more there.

Have we cleaned the roof at all?

I'll say we just leave it dirty.

Let's get this side done first, we must.

Don't ruin it yet.

[calypso-finale]

Ninety Nine.

The way I have been back and forth to France, I am busy and now I get how my mother felt, but with me it’s close enough for me to get back for Aziel and I can be with him, so I think London being my home was the best idea to me. Aziel gets my time, and this is what I wanted, I did not want him to be left out, I didn’t want Aziel to suffer because of me working which he isn’t, he has a perfect schedule. But I have left him with Grace since his father is in France still, he has been in France ever since, I actually don’t know but he has been away for a while promoting his music, so he is busy himself, but I try and get back for him a lot of the times but this time I am staying over because I have the Dior thing going on. Grace has come in handy, I dropped him off and jumped on a jet here. Halle bless her heart, she took a career break to be with me, and I was shocked she said that “I can get used to this life I can’t lie” she said as she sipped the champagne “it’s not even nine you know, it’s morning still” she is drinking already “one little glass please but the fact I have been on a jet more times then I have fingers, I am shook to the core. My passport is running out of pages, I am loving life, but you know when I got home I said to Colin thank you, for being understanding. He said oh it’s ok you know, you want to be there for our friend, even though you never asked. I think, well I hope I am a help” I chuckled “of course you are, you give me strength. The meetings, just to have you there with me, I feel confident and you being here has given me that, I am happy you are here Halle, and I can’t thank you enough. Lillian I appreciate her too, the boys. Like you all care for me like we family, and we are family, but you didn’t have too” Halle shook her head “to know what you went through, I mean ok we tried but it’s going to affect you, like being alone and doing this? I was like I can take year out and be with you, no string attached. But Lillian said” she cackled “she said I am missing the fucking gossip; I am sick. But when we go back, we need to update her like she wants to know. So fuck that, how are you feeling. Photoshoot and then the whole runway thing with him” I blew out air “I am not nervous, like I am up for it. It’s in the back of my mind and always will be but I am excited, I can’t wait to get out there, but I think Oakley is mad with me about it, he calls and is like Aziel there” I sniggered “oh” Halle said, “oh my god, you know what when you said I have something to tell him, was it that?” nodding my head “oh” her eyes bulged out “oh girl, I never said it to you because like obviously we been here and there and everywhere so fuck” now I am scared “bitch what happened?” I am so confused.

She shushed me “just please don’t mention it to him but anyways we was at the food place, and I was like fuck it, I am going to ask him. I said how you feel after the whole Rylee thing. Oh bro, he was like it is what it is I guess but she could have done it differently, she could have said wait for me and let me heal but she is being a better person for some next man, and I don’t rate that, but whatever I guess. I love her, ain’t fake shit but the way she did it I ain’t like it. Then he snapped because I said bro you taking it the wrong way, because you have nobody so what the fuck. He goes you ain’t see the videos, you ain’t see it. I did, that shit engraved in my head. I am like is this guy real, because you literally fucking wide open, so we had that, but made up then you said that, oh shit” she laughed, I stared at Halle “really?” I am shocked “fucking really, girl. He was really hurt by it, like why she trying to be better for another man, so like I wasn’t worth it for her” covering my face shaking my head “oh my god” I said “I know, I fucking thought the same, like Oakley you not getting the picture, but he is slow. Men are fucking slow, London men at that are slow sister so this is no shock to me” I am shocked “so he didn’t like I said that, I literally told him I have no other man, like this is it for me so why is he acting like I am doing this for another man?” I said “because men, that is it. Colin and Diji would fucking do the same, he just sees you doing better for another man, guy is acting injured” I groaned out “so that is why he is being weird, no wonder but now I know. I can’t say anything” I scoffed “he is butt hurt for nothing, I wasn’t being good for him, so goofy wanted me to be a nut job?” Halle kissed her teeth “leave him, let him realise. Let him do it, these men are dumb” she waved me off, I am just shocked that this happened with him.

My mind is still stuck on what happened with Halle and Oakley, is he that stupid and did he really take it that bad and why, I never meant it in that sense. I am not even looking for another either “I don’t drink, my friend will have that, but can I have water please?” I said to the assistant “of course” she bowed out “I am about to be drunk?” Halle froze staring at me “can’t be rude now” I laughed “no you’re right, we can’t waste” I am going to be the sensible friend now that doesn’t drink. I prefer it this way anyways “these dresses are nice; I am loving them. You think a bitch could get some free ones” I shrugged “possibly, I will find out for you” I grinned “oh clink clink bitch, but I need to get for Lillian too, she is hating me too much” she kissed her teeth “Rylee” the assistant came back in “rapper and now model Digga” oh he is here “aw shit” he said laughing “hi” I smiled “ladies, I am Digga, let’s be formal” he got his hand out, shaking his hand “we don’t hug now?” he said “my legs hurt” I said lying “oh yeah” he laughed “I know you” he pointed “of course you do, who doesn’t know me Diggles” Halle said and he busted out laughing “oh man, this is crazy” he sat down “what is your real name?” I don’t like his rap name “ask your man, he knows” oh he is annoying “oh wait, no sorry. You both aren’t together. Rhys, Rhys Herbert” I laughed out “my uncle is called Herbert too” he let out an oh “I was about to say, you laughing at my name now but Rylee and Rhys sounds peng though, I mean let’s be real. Rylee and Rhys” he clapped his hands smiling “beautiful” I sighed out “how is big Oaks, he good? I peeped his friend Wadz, they been running from my fade, but I have changed, closer to god now” oh this man is annoying “they both ok” he smiled “I ain’t seen man in West, did he erm” he pointed “moved out of west because it’s a bad place in court, oh yeah, yeah he did. Man rather kill himself then catch a fade from me” he laughed “that isn’t funny nigga, we ain’t laughing so shut the fuck” Halle said “I am sorry, I apologise. My bad” he said, that was a nasty thing to say, and I get why Oakley and him didn’t get on.

Halle is sticking by me so close, me and this guy having to be with each other all day is going to kill me because he just talks just to talk and at this point “has big man Oaks ever tell you about his school life? You know what we could have been friends but it’s his fault” looking over at him “he has told me stuff but yeah” I don’t really want to know “he hung out with my opps” he looked me dead in the eyes and I don’t care “so you stabbed his brother” he pointed at me laughing “innocent until proven guilty, they locked me up for nothing” he laughed “but this guy right, he was a hustler, I give him that. But he hung with the wrong niggas, he hung with the people that put him down. He’s a little bitch, like half of these shots didn’t need to be aimed at him but they were and ever single one of this friends that have died is because of him, he’s a pagan, and we don’t like them people. You run with the devil you going to get burnt” squinting my eyes “but you do the same shit, I wonder how many of your friends have died because of you” he went silent and looked away from me “allow it though” he waved me off “plenty, I know this shit boy, we know. You both do the same shit just one has moved out and the other is still stuck on this shit, like grow up now” he sniggered “Halle you know how we do with this postcode war shit, I don’t play that. He moved and he switched, fucking white boy. I’ll beat his ass if I see him, Wadz ran from me. I don’t care about guy; I mean come on. I am me; I am here at Dior who the better one? Please don’t play me” Halle kissed her teeth “I am not doing this with you, but I know the shit, now shut up” I have no clue about this British shit they be talking about “guy is a joke” he laughed to himself “diggles, stop!” Halle spat.

I have already told Dior, I don’t want him touching me at all but the rest we can move with, but the pictures are fitting “we look good together, Rylee and Rhys. Yeah boy” side eyeing him “break for five” the assistant said “so tell me about yourself? I been around and like why you choose him, you have to break your neck to look up at me” he smirked “and I still don’t see it” I said, “oh shit, see you been quiet but like let me take you out and show you how a real man does shit” rolling my eyes “real man, do they exist?” he chuckled “yeah me man, you beautiful and clearly your standards are low because you went with a white man” I kissed my teeth “nigga shut up yeah, my standards are high. You don’t know him, I don’t care if he is whatever with you just shut up ok, I don’t want it. I am not interesting you are obsessed with my ex, get over it” now he made me snap “jeez I was just saying Rylee” shaking my head “I apologise but let me take you for some food, friend thing” shaking my head “no” where is Halle now “how you get with him and now me? He can’t handle a woman, like look at you, you’re peng. Beautiful peng, I don’t even care he been there. I will take it” I scoffed, I walked off “aye, you beautiful” he laughed, he is a fucking idiot, he just wants to piss me off and laugh about it. Let me just stand somewhere else, somewhere where there is peace, he does too much and finds it hilarious when it isn’t.

Turning to Halle and rolled my eyes “he never mentioned that he would be performing here at all, he knew he was doing the afterparty too” I said to Halle “girl, you know he going through some invisible trauma” I chuckled, out of all the afterparties, Central Cee performing here, I mean I don’t mind it. But he never mentioned it and I was never told he would be here either, I really think that he needs to relax. I told him I am not looking for others but Halle told me that in confidence so I can’t say anything to him, looking to Halle and laughing “he is a trip, he didn’t even say. Least he did Obsessed with you, and you right here in the crowd, chile. He love him some of you” I giggled to myself and looking back at the crowd “oh brother” of course he is here “I hope your trap boy is your type” Digga pointed as he made his way into my section “yeah I am not into them, I am turned off by them actually” he sniggered “I can change your mind, a real nigga” I scoffed “yeah I have heard this a millions of times, there is no real. The real I had is over with, he is the realist now drop it” he shook his head “I think he a little butt hurt seeing me here, aye! White boy” Halle swatted Digga “you leave him alone, why can’t you act normal. We are in France not fucking west” she spat “and I am saying hey to him? Can’t I be nice” shaking my head “I am not not doing this, I am not standing with you and you making him mad, it’s bad enough that you and I walked together and did a shoot, it’s business ok” I pointed “but you fine, and I think you need a real man. I won’t lay my hands on you” I kissed my teeth “nigga fuck you” I shook my head walking off “Why you being a bitch for” he grabbed my arm “the fuck you touching” I stepped back and hit his shoulder “you playing me b” he grabbed my hand and I moved “you stay out of it you fucking bird bitch, I am sick of your mouth” he said to Halle “you leave me alone and I will pretend this shit didn’t happen” I said to him, he stared me down “you fuck that white guy, you fuck anyone” he said in my face, a loud gasp left my lips as Digga was thrown down to the ground, he hit the table with the drinks and all the glass smashed. Oakley started to beat him up “holy shit” I just said, Digga threw Oakley off him “Oakley leave it!” I shouted to grab his arm, but Halle just moved me “oh my days, I been waiting on you bro” he is so demonic “fuck you bro” Juke kicked him in the face “he has a knife” I said to Halle “leave it!” I said “just stop” Digga got up like it’s nothing and went towards Oakley and punched him in the face but Oakley just didn’t care, they both grabbed each other and they both fell off the platform we are on, hitting the ground “he has a knife” I rushed away from Halle, security started to pile in “get off him! He has a fucking knife” pushing my way through.

They backed Oakley up in the corner, I managed to push my way through “your face, what did you do? Why did you do that, he has a knife, he could have stabbed you” I said “you got tissues? He needs tissues!” I spat, his nose is bleeding badly “I saw him touching you, I peeped it ok” the security guard tapped my shoulder “he needs to leave” I scoffed “he fucking didn’t do anything, Oakley just put your head back” he is so quiet “I am here!” Halle said “tissues” I ended up forcefully putting his head back and placed the tissue under his nose, Oakley is just staring at me and I stared at him back “why?” I said to him “he touched you, I saw it” I shook my head “and he had a knife, he is unhinged. Please don’t do that, I could have handled it” he didn’t need to do that “he needs to leave, now!” security are being so annoying “from the back! Don’t test me, you don’t know who the fuck I am, this afterparty is mine! Done for me by Dior and what I say goes, so you open the back door, you get a car for him! He will be then gone” who do they think they are “I am good, I am fine” Oakley said, moving hand back “allow it” he mumbled “Oakley, don’t say allow it and walk off” Halle said, “I am gone, don’t worry about it” Oakley just walked off “you stubborn man!” Halle shouted “nigga you ran from the fade again” why is Digga still here, then I see he is in handcuffs.

[delicateartisantrash]

update: Bongo has pain meds, antibiotics, and a fancy foot cream. One dislocated toe knuckle that may heal crooked abd if so she will still be able to get around

Picture tax now that i am calmed marginally enough to think of it:

Info dump below the cut. You've been warned.

The big gest concern is ensuring the injuries stay clean and heal well, she's a very tough little gal and is being a big trooper. She's gotten her Forbidden Favorite Junk Food of Sunflower seeds (i fed her other seeds; she was eating almost exclusively sunflower when i adopted her and was literally addicted to them and it took about eight years off my life in the six months it took to convince her to even TRY a fancy stupid good and healthy pellet cold pressed to preserve nutrients and expensive because it's lacking stupid artificial vitamin K that has questionable effects on parrots long term feed with it and lacking stupid filler things that interrupt vitamin absorption or are unhealthy as fuck when eaten in too much quantity (IM LOOKING AT YOU, SUNFLOWER SEEDS. Epic treat. Bad primary food choice.) and no dyes or blah blah blah

My birds often eat better than i do xP

So she's been spoiled with extra seeds, her favorite almonds, and she got to eat the sunflower seeds from the vet. She's mostly needy in wanting company so I'll be sleeping near her tonight and also to monitor just in case she has mobility issues, she's pretty tired and sore and it's telling in the way she moves. Birds are exceptionally good at hiding pain and injury (please see the first time something like this happened, and i didn't NOTICE SHE HAD A BLOODY ASS FOOT FOR AT LEAST THREE HOURS BECAUSE SHE HID IT. I only noticed because when i asked her to step up to s perch, she used the wrong foot and i wondered why she changed her pattern.), so seeing her show any sign of distress makes my mom agony meter blast orbit with anxiety

Anxiety i was able to stuff down long enough to take care of her, she should date willing be okay ;-; new scars, but okay. It freaks me the fuck out in the most existential and absurd way that she... Reminds me so much of me. Bingo is basically my kid. Not in the "she's a people too!" No, she's a bird, she has bird properties etc etc etc but she is family to me, and she is my responsibility to take care of and there's no glorious future of rehabilitation and wild release just like there's not for 99% of any captive raised bird.

i get nervous admitting that out loud because my whole life I've known so many people who are very aggressive on anything they perceive as "not putting humans first exclusively and in all matters ever"

Like no bro

I would drive scary ass mountains for this bird if i had to or climb up thorny trees without protective gear or tackle a big ass dog. I HAVE hauled myself through the mires of both whole body shutdown because my stupid glitchy nervous system says "shit this math is too hard. Im tired of keeping up with this humans too fast movements. Just shut everything down for a bit" in order to make sure she was taken care of and then i can go crash and implode (i am approaching the implode stage but writing about it is helping me do that in a more managed way hooooo boy. Thank fuck for breathing exercises.) and i kindly said no duck you

Then promptly blacked the duck out and fainted the instant i had finished getting everything crucial done, handed off to other people. Weeeee. Glad this time there was no fainting, thank fuck. I was the only one home to take care of her so also thank whoever and all i have for watching out for us today. Bongo could have been hurt so much worse, I'm really very confident in being able to tend these wounds fate willing, so it's not like doomsday of "wow. My bird lost her entire foot" or worse.

She's drinking, eating, being sassy and cuddly and her usual self.

And there's something so freaky about relating so hard to her. Sometimes i have to remember to consider to let someone know I'm in a lot of pain, because it just. Doesn't show unless you really know me. Bongo reminds me of when i was a kid and frighteningly fearless and too tough by half. It just keeps smacking me in the face lately with that like

That thing you see when people are like

"hahaaa i hope you get a child just like y o u"

Me, with a bird too much like me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Echo is, by the by, okay as well-- i didn't find any injuries on him, and he was mostly just pretty shaken up and exploding with anxiety (which is an understatement). I had to towel him for the first time since adopting him-- something was have avoided like the plague and reserved for emergencies.

He needs to be taught how to be comfortable with towing, but that's not something he's ready for yet, so it's something we haven't done anything with and damn if my baby bird didn't handle that scary thing well for him. I was scared i would come home to him with a bloody face; Echo has a downright phobia of being confined in a cage (don't blame him, i really don't) and it brought me to tears the first time he went into his cage all on his own without any treats to lure him in, he went inside just because he *wanted* to and we'd established enough trust he was confident in knowing i would in fact let him out regularly and he'd not be trapped all day.

So this being

The first time I'd personally toweled him (he's been toweled by the vet of course, but for now we let only them do that and he gets spoiled with treats after)

I left WITH Bongo for.... Like eight hours? That might not seem like much especially if you don't know birds, but Echo has serious anxiety issues that if he's so provoked into panic, and lately we've been having issues with him freaking out when Bongo leaves the room but he's still in it (i cannot let them out at the same time, please see; they will fight; I cannot let Bongo loose in the bird room like I can Echo, because Bongo is the kind of smart that knows how to calm a human down and manipulate a household by how she directs her attention (she very deliberately takes "turns" spending time with each person in the house it's so fucking cute. And while she's being a Whoever's Bird she will snub her nose at everyone else for cuddles or games or anything except mandatory routine which she follows still)... And Bongo is also the kind of stupid that flies to Echo's cage, lands on it, then stands there and bitches him out and just. Just let's him attack her feet. She might take a single sidestep i swear to Gods Bongo you've taken a few years off my life in a matter of seconds i lived those moments for ETERNITY GWUHUUH.

Anyhow. Echo was shaken up, but chill enough after i stepped in to confirm he was uninjured and his water was still filled (he trashed his food bowls, and also yanked favorite perch off which is a first), that he started quiet with just a few contact calls while I went through all the steps of getting Bongo her first doses of medicine (she protested of course but we got them done), and getting her hospital cage assembled. (It's a flimsy was fuck fold up thing I'm disappointed by because we wanted it for a travel cage, but it works great for exactly this)

Once she was all settled, then i went over and hung out with Echo for a bit, then gave him some blueberries which he snatched with the desperate grab of Swindle reaching for rust sticks; actually hungry and excitedly ravenous for it and also needing that reassurance that comes with a gift of food.

Birds don't just yeet their fledglings out of the best and duck off. At least the species I've researched, there could be some exceptions I'm sure. But most birds, they continue to take care of their babies even when they're not really babies anymore and are fully grown and can feed themselves now-- parent birds will comfort them or praise them with sharing food or other interactions. They're highly social creatures.

Yeah Echo and Bongo fought and she got hurt but he's not the bad guy or villain in this situation; if blame goes anywhere it's on me as the human captor who controls every aspect of their lives from what food they have access to to where they can and cannot fly and and and

It's suffocating for birds to feel controlled. It's an exhausting dance between offering them as many choices and opportunities to be independent and act on preferences was possible, while still ensuring I'm making sure they're safe and healthy and not doing something they won't live to learn a lesson from.

I'm not really mad at him. I am frustrated, but that frustration comes from feeling helpless to not know how to unravel his behavioral patterns of late so i can help him be more comfortable.

Sigh but that's a whole other novel of sorry and I've vented enough.

Bongo is okay

Echo is okay

I will be okay. Whoooooo. Sold some painted skulls so that right there covered the costs of the vet visit and medicine thank duck.

...

I'm going to just accept the duck typo. It amuses me. Also fuck you phone

(Bird-mom Venting)

Not me blasting 20 of the 13 spoons of energy i woke up with today, because I ache all over and needed to rest and yake it slow and easy aaaaand...

...in the middle of getting my birds corralled for breakfast and settled, Echo (Indian Ringneck) is acting funny for his usual behavior at breakfast. I thought perhaps my routine and well-being being off was provoking it, and then i saw movement in my peripheral and both my birds attention shifted

GIZMO KITTY STEPPED A FOOT IN THE BIRD ROOM BECAUSE THE BIRD ROOM DOOR WAS OPEN *AND* THE DOOR TO MY SPOOKY EPIC STAIRWELL WHERE I LIVE DOWNSTAIRS' DOOR WAS OPEN AND THAT'S EXCLUSIVELY *MY* FAULT AND HOW THE FUCK DID I FUCK UP OR SKIP MY SAFETY CHECKS I HAVE LIKE FIVE SAFETY CHECKS FUCK YOU MIND FOG AND FATIGUE AAAUUUUGGHGHHHHHHHHHHHH

like literally the basement door to my apartment has a little slide lock on it so I can ensure kitties cannot open the door by figuring out the doorknob, and also because doing that means NORMALLY paying attention and not forgetting to ensure the door is fully actually shut not just almost shut aiabfiwoeofnyvidbe.

*screaming crying vibrating in place*

And i think i might have actually teleported across the room after Echo took flight, and Gizmo promptly went "what the fuck was THAT WOAH" and turned to trot after him towards the livingroom and i

Channeled energy i haven't used since the last time i had to yeet over and grab my baby Bongo (green cheek conure) off Echo's cage because she is so pretty and so emotionally aware and astute with PEOPLE because she was hand raised and taken from her parents by people and AAAAAAAAH SHE JUST STOOD ON HIS CAGR TO LET HIM ATTACK HET LIKE A CONFUSED GOLDEN RETRIEVER.

i did not faint this time after crisis was averted, however. That was good. Last time after I got Bongo off Echo's cage and the blood stopped with cornstarch over her confused beeps, told my mom who to call (thank the Gods for good Zoos with good exotic species veterinarians) and I think i passed her off not let her fly over, and then i promptly blacked out. Not from panic, though that didn't help, the panic actually came after i came to sitting up and someone telling me i passed out and THEN i panicked because i realized i was utterly useless in a crisis situation but at least i got everything critical accomplished and passed off to those who could (Bongo was okay, one expensive vet trip and my forever sorrow she's now missing one talon but it healed remarkably well)

I never feel more like a failure as a bird or cat or anything mom, as the viscerally real and tangible moments when my babies get hurt or could have gotten hurt.

Whooooooo weeee. Okay. Yeah.i just had to scream about that for a hot minute there because i got everyone settled, everyone is fine, Gizmo heard me raise my voice in full No Nonsense Mom Emergency Command hollar (the kitties are the newest members of our family) for the first time ever, and Echo finally went in to eat his breakfast.

Now I'm shaking and chilling with oatmeal and tumblr and wow okay imma just. Sit here for a bit. O w.

(for context, those of you new to my blog, i have chronic issues that cause problems with balance and paina nd just kind of existing on the physical plane in general weeeeee, so thr things i am not suppossd to do that i used to do all tbe time, include moving fast, standing up quickly, and turning pr moving my head too quickly. All of whi h i just did l. Weeeeeee. That is why i mentioned blowing all my spoons of energy. That one crisis save just killed most my plans for tbe day vut also wow it was more effective than any coffee or energy drinkcould ever be on waking me the fuck up.)

[edoro]

May I ask for your extremely normal thoughts on this episode?

takes a deep breath

dissolves into a screaming puddle of goo

things i am Extremely Normal About:

-Philip's continuing obsession with Luz

-the way her insulting his fashion sense clearly GENUINELY HURT HIS FEELINGS? oh my godddd bro she is not your friend she doesn't LIKE you but that's not gonna stop him

-the way he irritatedly corrects her from 'emperor of the witch hunters' to 'witch-hunter general' this man is such a bitch and also just SO deep in his own twisted little game of make-believe like. just really zero concept of what's going on here for real.

-he is so obsessed with her it's so fucking creepy. the way that it was her crying and begging while saying his Real Name that got him to agree with her? oh my god, Philip, dude.

-the way he just unleashed 300 years of barely restrained Bitch Energy on Kiki in one moment of nuclear weapons-grade cruelty because he's tired of being nice and he DOES want to go apeshit and it like visibly immediately improved his entire demeanor, there's not even anything physically wrong with him actually he is literally just such a bitch that the sheer effort of holding it back for that long caused him to experience the symptoms of every disease ever

-GRANDPA BODY HORROR GRANDPA BODY HORROR

-"Hunter why are you hurting me :(" shut the entire fuck up oh my god i'm going to put this old man in tupperware and leave him in the back of the fridge for a year

-Caleb name reveal + ABSOLUTE BATSHIT FREAKOUT GRANDPA BODY HORROR

-the Collector is genuinely fucking terrifying. immortal godchild kidthing with unspeakable cosmic powers and 0 concept of morality or that other people are real or can be hurt or that his actions have consequences. i love him so much. genuinely so much more frightening than Philip's banal malice tbh.

-the Collector is So Fucking Traumatized this kid is so fucked up holy shit they are NOT okay. cannot imagine what the last 300+ years of having no one but Philip "molestation Georg*" Wittebane for company has done to them

(*lives in a cave and has groomed or attempted to groom every child he's ever met jesus FUCKING christ someone put this man in a jar and put the jar in a lead-lined box at the bottom of the sea)

-The Collector Is My Sonthing Now. yes he has done everything wrong ever no i don't care.

-EVIL BODY HORROR GRANDPA GETTING TWIRLED UP LIKE A FORKFUL OF SPAGHETTI AND THEN SPLORCHED. "i'm not even mad tho" man he knew he had fucked up, i love how we finally got to see Philip Experiencing A Consequence

-obsessed with how brutal and unceremonious that was tbh. like. i was just sitting there like Is He Actually Fucking Dead. Is That How They Disposed Of Philip. Oh My God. everyone else watching in utter horror because that was incredibly fucked up. the way Hunter was crying about it because That Was His (evil and unspeakably abusive sure but still) Uncle and that's so fucked up for him to have to see. his hesitance in stepping in the goop puddle. the malicious goo dribble ugh ugh ugh Leave Him Alone Philip Please.

-GOO GRANDPA IN THE HUMAN REALM WHAT CRIMES WILL HE COMMIT

-i love Raine ripping off Eda's arm. i feel like, you know the bit where Darius stopped fighting bc Healing Coven Head was about to kill Eberwolf? i think Raine would have done the math on how quick they could get the replacement Beastkeeping Coven Head up there now that it was all underway and Belos was gone vs how much longer til the eclipse was over and decided they could bear that moral weight on their conscience forever if it meant they and everyone else lived to see the end of this

-GUS? CRYING?? THE WAY HUNTER WAS PROTECTIVELY HOLDING HIM? THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AUUUUGH

-SNEAKY KIKI SNEAKY KIKI god i love her she's so horrible and so good and i simply adore her

-the pit of like DOZENS OF MURDERED GOLDEN GUARDS okay. what is WRONG with Philip like what happened to his brain to make him this way.

-the way they left Alador behind like he was going to Divert The Horde in a zombie movie LMAO it's okay Amity. it's better this way. now you can pretend he would have been a good dad instead of having to live with the ongoing realization that even his best would be crushingly mediocre.

-Alador trying to hit Hunter with the "loyal soldier of the Emperor" accusation and then trying to dad voice him immediately afterwards when that doesn't work. sir. pick one. also lmao love the Shit Dad Driving Experience. terrible driver gets mad when you point it out and actively endangers all of you because now he's distracted yelling at you. his Shit Dad Energies are just so huge, i love it.

-i'm just obsessed with Philip and the Collector oh my god. horror horror horror. there is so much wrong with both of them and they're so fucked up together jfc. never going to get over it.

-it took me literally four hours to watch the episode.

[mike-wachowski]

bro bro.

7. kissing scars, yelena and kate.

if u want<3 please giggles

(prompt list)

Fifteen seconds. 

It takes fifteen seconds for Kate to notice Yelena, perched in her open window, back to the fire escape. 

In fifteen seconds, Yelena could lunge from her place in the shadows and tackle Kate Bishop to the ground, yank her arms above her head, pin her legs down with her knees and have her in a chokehold so tight it would only add five extra seconds to that time. 

Or she could launch two daggers from her belt, poison tipped to render Kate motionless, one impact for each leg; Kate Bishop would drop to the floor in mere seconds, her legs failing her, then slowly the poison would travel further up her body until her whole self was paralyzed, trapped in a prison of her own contorting muscles. 

In fifteen seconds, Yelena could steal Kate’s bow from her room. She could outfit her entire kitchen with hidden cameras. She could raid Kate’s fridge. 

Yelena does none of these things. She sits on the windowsill for fifteen seconds, watches Kate strip herself of her coat and quiver, let Lucky off his leash, and walk all the way into the kitchen. She does this for fifteen seconds, and right at the cusp of sixteen, Yelena makes her presence known. 

She lets out a low whistle. “Welcome home, Kate Bishop.”

“Fuck-ing shit, oh my god.” 

Kate jumps like a startled mouse, and Yelena only barely tries to mask her smile. “Did I scare you?” 

“No, no.” Kate stammers. She fumbles for her kitchen light. “No way. ‘Course I knew you were here when I walked in.” 

“Yes, of course you did.” 

Kate finds her light switch. “What are you doing here?” 

“Currently? I am staining your kitchen’s wood floor a lovely red shade.” 

The yellow industrial light in Kate’s kitchen buzzes on, and Yelena watches as Kate’s vision drops very rapidly from her face, to her toes, where a not-inconsequential pool of blood has slowly accumulated over the last fourteen seconds. 

“Oh, shit, Yel.” Kate groans. “What happened?” 

“I fell.” 

“On a bullet?”

“Er. Yes? 

Kate is already out of the room. When she returns, she returns with a familiar red bag, filled with bandages and first aid equipment. How cute, Yelena thinks. We’ve settled into routine. 

Kate kneels before her. “Can you- um. Can you take off your pants, please?” 

“Kate Bishop!” She howls. “Ask a girl out for drinks first, will you?” 

Kate grumbles, “I did ask you, and you turned me down to try and kill my partner.”

Yelena just pats her softly on the head.

With Kate’s help, Yelena peels off her cracked armor pads and slim, blood-soaked suit. She’ll ask Kate if she can use her building’s laundromat later. 

Kate tends to her wound gently, gentler than Yelena has ever been cared for. She holds Yelena’s hand (even as she swears she doesn’t need it) when Kate pulls the bullet from where it’s embedded in her thigh. She cleans the area with gentle strokes, squeezing Yelena’s fingers when she tenses from the sting, and stitches the wound closed with clean sutures and the steady hand of a marksman. 

When she finishes, she doesn’t pull away. Instead, Yelena watches as Kate Bishop’s ever so perceptive eyes drop from the gunshot wound, to a wide, jagged scar beneath it. 

Kate runs her thumb along the ridge of it. “I’ve never seen this before.” 

Yelena glances away. “You never needed to.” 

“It’s old-” 

“It’s ugly, and it never healed right.” Yelena sighs. “Leave it, please, Kate.” 

If Yelena’s words have hurt her, Kate does a fine job of not showing it- in another world she would make an incredible spy. “I’m sorry,” she just says, giving Yelena a comforting smile. She drops her hand to Yelena’s knee.

But Kate shouldn’t have to be sorry. Not after everything she’s done for her tonight. Maybe that's why Yelena blurts out, “It’s where they put my tracker in.” 

Kate blinks. “The- uh.. the Red Room, right?” 

Yelena nods. “When I first broke away from their control, I had to cut it out so they wouldn’t find me.” 

Kate looks up at Yelena as she brings her hand to once again hover near the scar, asking for permission. Slowly, Yelena places her hand, feather-light, atop Kate’s and together their fingertips trace the length of the scar. The the raised, uneven space where she had to cut herself open and put herself back together is sensitive, as all new skin is, and feeling Kate Bishop tend to it so gently makes her breath pause. 

Then, before Yelena realizes, Kate leans down and presses a hovering kiss to the bottom of the scar. 

Its enough to make Yelena pull back, her hand squeezing Kate’s a little too tight. Kate understands, slowly leans back from Yelena’s leg to sit on her heels. 

“I know you think it’s ugly.” Kate whispers, fingers tapping on the side of Yelena’s knee. “But I think it’s really powerful. It’s the first mark on a body that was yours.” 

She chuckles, shaking her head. “Only you could think of such things, Kate Bishop.” 

Kate smiles, thumb pressing one final circle into Yelena’s leg. “I”m gonna put the first aid kit away.” She stands, grabbing the bag of supplies and tucking it under her arm. She gives Yelena a quick glance over her shoulder. “You better not jump out of that window.”

Yelena rolls her eyes. “I would not dream of it.” 

When Kate returns just in time to see Yelena’s feet slip off the edge of the railing, she can still hear Kate whisper, “Damnit, Yelena.” and then, “Gosh, that's still so cool.” 

And then, as Yelena is halfway down the fire escape: “You left your fucking pants!” 

[obeymeluv]

Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.

Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.

Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.

My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:

The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?

Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?

I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?

Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.

End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.

Other thoughts: Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc. 

As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.

What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.

I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content. 

HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)

The facts: 

They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you. 

They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates). 

Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies

Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.

Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache

Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.

Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.

Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.

As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.

Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse. 

Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)

1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking). 

Lucifer:

We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both

You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.

He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks

He’s not sloppy, just cozy. 

Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one

When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair

Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).

Mammon:

GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)

He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything. 

He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that

Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)

The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.

He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut

Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)

Leviathan

Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.

His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.

Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement

The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?

The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants

The loud laugher

He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in

Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well

Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down

Sways when he sits

When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair. 

Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings. 

Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.

Satan:

It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out

He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket

He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger

He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.

The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks

He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games

He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)

Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs

The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy

Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles

Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.

Asmo:

Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.

He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people

He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy

The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.

Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry

Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’

Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.

Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody

If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!

Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.

Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!

The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day

The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.

Beel:

The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol

Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.

Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.

He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else

Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring

Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree. 

Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy

Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.

Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.

He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.

Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.

When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable. 

Belphie:

Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.

His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.

He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent

Will try the funnel drink challenge.

The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.

Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually

The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.

Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.

Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.

The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.

The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!

[weebswrites]

Heyy! I recently came across your blog and a absolutely love your writing! 🥰

Would it be possible to request an angst hc with the Obey me brothers? So maybe the bros were having a bad day and they lash out at the MC. The MC leaves them alone and the brothers don’t hear from them for hours and think MC just doesn’t want to talk to them but in reality MC got attacked and is barely alive. And maybe MC summons the brother with what little strength they have left so the brother is met with an MC laying in front of them almost dead.

Ah I’m sorry I know this is a lot so feel free to ignore this if it’s too much! Have a good day :D

A/N: YES YES YES I LOVE THIS THANK YOU ANON

The Demon Bros Saving Your Life (this will have swear words and light descriptions of violence so if that makes you uncomfortable read at your own discretion pls I love u guys)

Lucifer

“MC, please just leave me alone” he spat, trying to stay calm but losing his patience quickly

“Lucifer, I’m not letting you shove me away. You can do that to your brothers, but not to me” you insist, remembering your conversation where he said to ignore him when he tried to push you away

“I’ll do what I want to you, human, don’t forget your place” he boomed, so loud your eyes reactively filled with tears

“Fine, do what you want” you mutter at him before storming out, slamming the door behind you

He knew he fucked up, but wasn’t in the headspace to chase after you, so he stayed in his office and worked. He’d apologize later

You ran out of the HoL, just wanting to be out of Lucifer’s reach for a bit. You decide to go to Purgatory Hall to visit Simeon, your best friend outside of the HoL, but take the scenic route there to clear your head a bit and calm down. Before you know it the sun is setting, and figure you should get to Simeon’s sooner rather than later.

“Hey, aren’t you Lucifer’s bitch” you hear from an alleyway, and suddenly you’re just as annoyed as before. But you know better than to engage with any demons that are egging you on like that, so you keep walking

Then you’re grabbed from behind and slammed against a brick wall, hitting your head roughly against the surface

“Fuck” you exhale, vision already blurring

“Think you can ignore me, human? You’re weak here, nothing” the demon drove a fist into your stomach, causing you to cough

“I’ll show you not to come back to the Devildom ever again, filthy human”

By the time he was done you were a bloody mess crumpled on the ground, in the fetal position to protect your vital organs as much as you could, but you felt yourself losing consciousness

The demon spat on you before leaving, laughing as he walked away. Your body was in so much pain, and you felt yourself losing your grip on reality

You could felt your lips moving as your vision turned to black, and your last coherent thought before blacking out was realizing you were summoning Lucifer

“I...summon the Avatar of Pride...” you inhaled as much as you could, but his name came out a whisper, “Lucifer”

You saw his legs appear before you lost consciousness, thankful you were actually able to summon him

“What the fuck” was his first comment, as he didn’t see you at his feet, but as soon as he did he felt his heart shatter

“MC! Fuck, MC. MC?” he shook you very lightly, and when you didn’t respond he went into overdrive. He picked you up gently in his arms after examining where you were most badly injured, as to not make anything worse

He was in demon form from the moment he saw you, wanting as much of his strength at his disposal as he could have. He flew you to the nearest hospital (idk if there’s a hospital in the devildom but there is now) and demanded you be placed in the best care possible, and also made it very clear that he wasn’t going to leave your side

He watched as doctors sewed your wounds closed and put an IV in your arm, unable to take his eyes off their every move. After a few hours, the doctor turned to Lucifer

“They should wake up within a few hours,” the doctor said before leaving

“Thank you. Please mail the bill to Lord Diavolo and I’ll take care of it” he said, figuring that was easier than having to fill out the HoL on paperwork

He was then alone with you, and he scooted his chair next to your bed and took your hand in his, holding it gently

“I’m so sorry, MC” he whispered and pressed his lips to the top of your hand as he tried not to cry

He sat there for what felt like hours, but just twenty minutes passed before he felt you move slightly

Your eyes fluttered open, and you took a moment to adjust to the lights

You felt warmth around your hand, and recognized it instantly, looking to your side and locking eyes with Lucifer

“Luci” you whisper, voice hoarse from not having used it for hours

“MC, I’m so sorry” his voice was soft and you could tell how distraught he was, “I never should have snapped at you, it was out of place and rude and I’m sorry” he rambled on like this for a minute, and you just appreciated his genuine care for you as you listened to him speak

“Lucifer” you cut him off, “Thank you for taking care of me. I forgive you”

Mammon

“Just get a job! Then your brothers won’t shit on you all the time” you suggested. Mammon had come to you venting about how some of his brothers had ganged up on him again and demanded that they pay him back. You were more understanding than you probably should have been with him, but wanted him to be proactive and get himself out of this on his own

“It isn’t that easy! Damnit MC, I thought you understood me!” he snapped, and you decided you should just let him cool down

“Look, Mammon. I’m always here for you with this, but you can’t keep complaining about this and not doing anything about it when there’s an easy solution. I have to go study with Satan for a test we have, so I’m going to go meet him. Text me when you’ve calmed down”

You meant it to be caring, but his mind was clouded, and he took it as you pitying him and running away - his greatest fear

“Fine!” he huffed, turning his back to you

You were saddened by this, but genuinely had to go, so you turned and left, thankful for the bit of time that you knew Mammon needed alone to clear his head

You were walking to the library, in the middle of a text to Satan when you accidentally bumped into another demon

“Shit, my bad” you apologize, but the demon had no intention of letting you get away with that

“A human, eh?” he grabbed your shirt collar and instantly drove a fist to your jaw

“What the fuck” you tried to say, but couldn’t really speak

The demon punched you a few more times, and you thought that they had the strength of Beel with how much it hurt

Your body was tossed to the ground and kicked before being abandoned, and you wished you didn’t take the back way to the library

“I summon the Avatar of Greed, Mammon” you whispered, hoping your words were enunciated enough for the summoning to work

“MC!” he noticed you instantly, crouching down and putting a hand on your arm, “MC what happened. Wait don’t talk, can you stand?”

You began to sit up, which he took as a yes, and he wrapped his arm around you to help you stand

He studied your injured face as you stood, and wished he had the power to heal you instantly

“Come on MC, the hospital is close”

“T-Text Satan I’m not coming” you handed him your phone, not wanting Satan to think that you ditched him

Mammon exhaled a laugh through his nose, “You’re always thinking of others, MC” he commented, “We really don’t deserve you”

You just shook your head, feeling like you didn’t deserve the joy the demons brought you

Mammon stayed by your side until you were completely healed, which took a few weeks. He even signed up for a job with Akuzon DC. It was the most selfless you’d ever seen him, and you thanked him for his kindness once you were healed with a gift card to his favorite store

Leviathan

“Just stop! I get it, you have other friends, I don’t care. Go have fun with them” he snapped. Levi hadn’t slept in about 48 hours and you could tell

“Levi, please sleep. I’ll be back in a few hours” you try to comfort him, but he isn’t hearing it

“Whatever, MC”

You’re hurt by his attitude, but know he’s just exhausted. You turn to leave and plan to head back to him a bit sooner to spend extra time with him (quality time love language lookin demon) (also the avatar of envy but that’s not as funny of a joke so)

You were planning to meet with some classmates to study, but you ran into a demon on your way that had been bullying you for being human for the whole semester

You hadn’t told any of the brothers because you didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but you were worried suddenly what the demon would do to you outside of the school grounds

“Hey, it’s the human” she snarled, stepping in front of you to stop your path

“Sorry, I’m busy” you tried to walk around her, but she had no intention of letting you go unscathed

“Not so fast” she stomped her foot over yours to stop you and shoved you back against a light pole nearby

You felt the cold metal slam against your spine and grunted in discomfort

“Can’t take a little pain? That’s too bad” she said, taking you by your shirt and  throwing your body on the road

She kicked your body for what felt like minutes while spitting insults at you, before leaving your weakened body on the ground

You tried to get up once she was gone but screamed in pain, not able to move a muscle

“I summon the Avatar of Envy, Leviathan,” you said, tears starting to run down your face at his name

“Levi, Levi please, help me” you whispered as he appeared

“MC, I’m here” he kneeled down beside you and inspected your body, “I’m here, don’t worry”

“Levi” your hand tightened around his jacket, “Help”

He picked you up, maintaining your position in his arms, and took you to the hospital as fast as he could while keeping you comfortable

He stayed by your side as much as he was legally allowed to while the doctors cared for your torso and x-rayed your foot. After a day or so you were allowed home, and he insisted that he stayed by your side until you were completely healed

Satan

“MC, I’ve asked you eight times to leave me alone, I’m clearly trying to read, can’t you take the hint?” he sighed exasperatedly and waited for you to leave, not intending his words to be so harsh but he figured you’d be fine

You were not fine! What the fuck Satan.

“Fine, screw you then” you retorted and left, slamming the door behind you

He realized that you weren’t fine, but wanted to finish his book. Then he’d apologize. But when we went to your room later that night to talk, you didn’t answer.

“MC, come on, open up. I’m sorry for earlier, can we just talk?”

Beelzebub was walking by, “I haven’t seen them since this morning, they left the house crying” he said awfully casually, “I never saw them come back”

Satan felt the blood drain from his face and he ran out of the HoL, ignoring Beel’s “I’m sure they’re fine now!” from behind him

He barely made it out of the doors before he was summoned, and he was confused before he realized the only way he could be summoned was by you

As soon as he was there he saw you, thrown against a dumpster, barely able to hold yourself up

“Satan” you called, voice weak, and he was at your side in less than a second

He stood in front of you and you got on his back, wrapping your arms over his neck

“Tell me what happened. Who did this” his voice was firm and you could almost feel the anger radiating off him

You muttered a name under your breath before resting your head on his shoulder, trying everything you could to not pass out

“Satan, talk to me. I can’t stay awake”

That scared him, so he walked to the hospital a bit faster, but gently still as to not cause you any extra pain

He started telling you about his book since that was all he did that day, but it ended up turning into a long apology for pushing you away and raising his voice earlier. You would have cut him off but you didn’t have the strength to, so you just listened to his words, noticing the thought he had clearly put into them throughout the day

“Satan-” you started, and he instantly stopped to listen, “I forgive you”

He was silent, a sense of relief and appreciation for you washing over him and he thanked you for your understanding of his anger as you arrived at the hospital

Similar to Lucifer, he demanded you to be seen by the best doctor there was on staff, price be damned. He watched intensely as the doctor checked you out, eyeing them up and down to make sure they were good enough and treating you with the same care he would

Once you were released he had Diavolo send a car to drive the two of you back to the HoL, where Satan had had your room prepared with new pillows (the kind you mentioned liking from his room, as well as new ones of the ones you had), freshly washed sheets and duvet, and a cup of your favorite drink waiting for you (he definitely didn’t bribe his brothers to get your room ready, not that it took much bribing)

In addition, each of the brothers had pitched in to get you flowers and a stuffed animal that you’d mentioned wanting, a few weeks ago. The sight of it all made you tear up, and you wrapped Satan in the tightest hug he’d ever gotten

Asmodeus

“I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, MC, but I just need some time by myself,” he said, and you could tell he was losing his patience

“Are you sure?” you offer one last time before leaving, wanting to make sure he really wanted to be alone

“Yes! I am!” he snapped, and you felt bad for pushing

“Sorry, Asmo. Feel better” you leave and take care to close the door as quietly as you can on your way out

You were having a bit of a bad day yourself, so you decide to go walk around the devildom and let the fresh air clear your head

Which ended up being a bad idea, as you ran into one of the demons that always hit on you in one of your classes.

“Hey, MC, you finally aren’t with any of those idiot brothers” he approached you and tried to touch your arm, but you pushed it away

“Oh, they’re fiesty. I’ll have to teach you a lesson” he spat on the ground next to you and before you knew it he pushed you against a wall and was punching you senseless

It felt like he’d never stop, but eventually it did, and he left you to bleed on the road. You tried to stand up, not thinking your injuries would be that servere, but you couldn’t move. You sighed and closed your eyes, exhaustion suddenly washing over you

You knew you probably had a concussion and some broken ribs, and that you shouldn’t lose consciousness, so you did the only thing you could think to do. You summoned Asmo.

“I summon the Avatar of Lust, Asmodeus” you spoke, and there he was

“MC! Babes, what happened? Where are you hurt” he knelt in front of you and looked over your body

“Ribs...and my head...” you whined, leaning forward for him to take you in his arm

Asmodeus was stronger than you realized, and he picked you up easily and started walking you back to the HoL. “Let’s get you laying down and I’ll call a doctor” he said gently, “Then Satan and I will take care of the idiot who did this”

Until you were healed he was by your side, bringing you anything you even thought of wanting and getting the classwork you missed from your classes

Beelzebub

“Hey Beel, what’s up!” you walked into the kitchen and greeted your favorite demon cheerily

He grunted, usually a sign that he should be left alone, but you wanted some Beel time and figured you’d just be cautious and give him his space

“How was your day” you asked innocently

“Not now, MC. I’m not in the mood” his voice was firm, and you took the message

“Got it, I’ll leave” you said apologetically, and left the kitchen. You were a bit upset by him pushing you away, but knew he just needed space. You decided to walk to get takeout for dinner, and made your way to the restaurant on your own.

That was a mistake. You weren’t even halfway there when you figured later you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time

“Is that a human? Here?” you heard from across the road, and sighed, hoping to get off easy

“Hey, human!” the demons walked over to you and you stopped, deciding to at least acknowledge them so they’d think they could insult you and move along

“Wow, I’ve never met a human in real life before” one of them smirked, “I wonder just how weak they really are”

“I wouldn’t test it, just because I’m a human doesn’t mean I don’t know some demons who would make your lives miserable if you hurt me”

The other demon scoffed, “You’re lying. What demon would befriend a human”

You were getting irritated at the attitude being thrown at you, so you decided to fight back with a little sass of your own, “Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, and Lord Diavolo, to name a few” you smirked and crossed your arms

“Bullshit” one of the two demons got in your face, “there’s no way a demon like that would look twice at you”, and before you could begin to think of a comeback you felt a sharp pain in your side

You looked down to see a gash in your side, thankfully seeming to not have hit an organ, but it was still bleeding pretty badly. You didn’t know what to do, but didn’t really have the chance to do much because a few strong punches were delivered to your core immediately after

“Fuck” you mumbled as you crumpled to the ground, and heard the demons laughing as they walked away. You felt yourself bleeding pretty heavily, and knew you wouldn’t be able to make it back to the HoL

“I summon the Avatar of Gluttony. Beelzebub” you said, hoping you remembered how to use your pact correctly

He appeared before you and you let out a sigh of relief, then wincing in pain at your own action

“MC!” he instantly took off his grey hoodie and pressed it to your wound, “There’s an underground hospital close, is it safe for me to lift you or can you walk”

“I think I can walk, but can you keep an arm around me” you ask, and he obviously does

You get to the hospital and are instantly checked in and brought to a care room. Beel holds your hand and lets you squeeze it as tightly as you need as your wound is sewn up, and then the nurses give you pain medication for the next few weeks

You didn’t know the names of the demons who hurt you, but Lucifer found out easily with his many connections, and he and the rest of his siblings, along with Lord Diavolo, made sure that the two demons never so much as thought about you ever again

Belphegor

“Belphie, please let me in” you knocked on his door again, not knowing what had caused him to storm off in the first place

The door opened, but before you could say anything Belphie was talking

“MC, I’m fucking pissed right now, and the last person I want to be around is you” his voice was sharp, and you almost teared up at how genuine his words seemed

“Fine, okay, I’m sorry for trying to help” you responded before turning and running down the stairs from his room in the attic, wanting to give him space but also run away from him

You were going to try not to cry, but as soon as you stepped outside the HoL you couldn’t hold back anymore. Sniffling, you walked to the park nearby to sit at a bench and think. You pulled out your D.D.D. to text Beelzebub and ask him to check up on Belphie, but didn’t even unlock it before someone sat down next to you

You didn’t recognize who it was, and you wiped under your eyes as the demon began to speak

But they didn’t say anything near what you expected. Well, you didn’t know what you were expecting, but it wasn’t to be called a filthy human by a stranger

The demon proceeded to call you names, but you were too mentally exhausted to fight back, so you just sat and listened as they tried to get a reaction from you

“What, aren’t you listening to me? Stupid human” and the demon started punching you. Hard.

You tried to fight back at first, but compared to the strength of a demon you couldn’t really do much. Once you started losing consciousness the other demon left you to sit, laughing at your wounds

You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to bother Belphie if he was still in a bad mood, but you needed help. You pulled out your D.D.D. and saw a text from him, reading: ‘MC, I’m sorry. Please come back, give me a chance to explain’

As you couldn’t move, you realized your only option was to summon him, so that’s exactly what you did

“I summon the Avatar of Sloth, Belphegor” you suddenly got nervous, unsure why since you and Belphie were so close, but you knew he’d help you no matter what

“MC? MC holy shit” he sat next to you on the bench and you instantly leaned into him and started sobbing

“MC I’m so sorry, this never should have happen” he had an arm around you

You sniffled, “It isn’t your fault, I was just clearing my head” you reassured him, still hurt by his previous words but not at all blaming him for the other demon’s attack

He brought you back to the HoL and gave you ice packs for the bruises that were starting to surface, making sure you had everything you needed for the next many days until you were healed

--------------------

A/N: This took me longer than I thought it would to write but I also kept taking breaks and had three classes today lol. But here it is !!! I love writing angst hehe so this was really fun

[meowtheextremechickenhorse]

Probably a hot take but I am genuinely starting to dislike c!Ranboo, as a character and as a part of many narratives, for a couple of reasons: he sucks at supporting any narrative that isn’t his own because of his spinelessness, and because any action he does take is contradictory and ultimately harmful to both his causes and the people around him.

(I’d like to preface that I used to really enjoy c!Ranboo and am just very disappointed in how he is currently. These are all just my opinions, and please feel free to disagree or add onto them. I want to see if I’m being blindly negative about him or if any of this has some standing, haha.)

Let’s address the first: He doesn’t support a narrative very well.

Look, I get it. c!Ranboo has his enderwalk and the fantasy horror of that is interesting. He struggles against a side of him that he can’t see or communicate with, and it turns out that side has the potential to do things he doesn’t want to do. Interesting. I get it.

The problem with that, is that that narrative is the only one in which c!Ranboo does anything actively. And all his actions in that narrative are centered around two people with the focus on one: himself. The other one is maybe c!Dream. c!Ranboo only ultimately has conflict with himself, and that’s a problem in the scope of the Dream SMP.

With storylines all around you discussing interpersonal relationships between incredibly nuanced characters that have been developing for a hot, long while (like c!Tubbo versus c!Quackity, who are both characters with interesting motivations and interesting relationships with each other that span a big chunk of the SMP), choosing to do a completely solo narrative won’t end up being as consequential for the server as a whole. That’s totally fine, if that’s what you’re into, but that creates a vacuum in the “so what?” of the story.

So what if Ranboo has memory problems? It’s stated that his enderwalk won’t hurt anyone he cares about, and we saw that with that one scene with Michael. So what if he thinks he’s helping Dream? Is he? Does it actually help Dream become a worse villain in the grand scope of the SMP if he is? So what if he can be a manipulative person when he’s enderwalking? He’s certainly not the first, and his actual manipulation is harmless at best and slightly dangerous at worse. We see that with Foolish, and how he’s not exactly been pressured by the contract at all.

It’s inconsequential. To other characters and to the rest of the SMP, his problems mean shit to nothing. At the moment, c!Ranboo is inconsequential as his own character and cannot really affect other people.

Notice that I say “At the moment”. I do believe that he has a shit ton of potential as a character to do antagonistic or negatively impactful things (rather than supportive or positively impactful things), which is where his own lore is pointedly leading towards. He just hasn’t done anything significant so far to suggest otherwise.

Alright, so that’s him with his own narrative that focuses mainly on him and what he’s trying to do for himself. Cool. If he’s not exactly strong enough as a character on his own, what about with others? He’s a character that is involved with many other plotlines, even if only by a little bit or by proxy, after all. Let’s talk about those, with emphasis on two for now:

Exile. New L’manburg. He’s had a part in both of these, and in both he ends up influencing next to nothing.

Exile. He visited Tommy in Logstedshire and kept letters with him. He noted Dream’s behavior as unhealthy and made the effort to point it out. He saw things. Extending this to the Bedrock Bros Arc, he witnessed that too. He saw Tommy try and heal, and he witnessed what would have become Tommy doing things against his moral code against the most important person still left in his life.

What came out of his involvement? Did he talk to anybody about what he saw? Did he apply that knowledge to his perception of his friend? No, right?! He didn’t tell anyone about exile, I can’t remember a time when he brought it up on his own. He has not let it change him, not in ways that matter. “Oh, the monologue he had when Tommy died kinda counts!” Does it?? Ranboo said it himself, he was being hypocritical. He didn’t change, not in the ways he said he probably should. And we see that he still holds some belief that Tommy is nothing but a troublemaker, without any of the added nuance you’d expect from somebody who saw what he did. Inconsequential. Nothing really big changed as a result of his involvement, right? It’s not just me?

New L’manburg. He as a traitor received no punishment. He as a minutes man didn’t get to make any big decisions regarding leading the country. He as a member of the Butcher Army was there *unwillingly*, and ultimately got no repercussions out of that either. Ranboo didn’t get his only home taken away since he was invited to live with Techno and Phil. Ranboo didn’t lose any memories of NLM or L’manburg since he had none.

What did his actions or roles do? I’d make the argument his betrayal (which it was, since he was a member of the country who allowed and passively participated in its destruction) only served to make him untrustworthy to Tubbo or whatever, but we see that hasn’t had the biggest strain on their relationship. The source of their problems with communication is mostly just Tubbo’s unwillingness to talk, and we saw that with the talk about the execution. Outside of that, nothing has really had an impact on the way other characters talk and interact with him. We get that a little, with Wilbur, so once again: potential. Still; he was inconsequential to NLM, and I don’t really think there’s anything to be done about it.

When it comes down to the both of these, the biggest characteristic of his that comes into play is his lack of backbone. He doesn’t bring up exile because it might spark conflict (or he just doesn’t want to, which would be worse in my opinion). He was a traitor to avoid conflict with Techno. He doesn’t get consequences because that would be too much conflict. And he doesn’t have to get into conflict. He, more than almost any other character, can just… back out. And so he does. Which leaves him without conflict, without an opposing force, and that makes him inconsequential. That want to avoid conflict is written into his character fundamentally, which is why I don’t expect that to change until something desperately drastic happens.

Getting back to his potential, however, I do NOT want to say that nothing he does sparks conflict. Far from it, since we have the whole Syndicate versus Snowchester, Techno versus Tubbo debate coming up. There’s just nothing presently available about c!Ranboo that gives me faith he’ll actually be active about it. None of his actions prove it. He’ll most probably choose the path of least resistance, like he always has. You’d expect that moment, that situation to be where that path reaches a dead end, but there’s always the chance it won’t. We won’t know until we see and by GOD I hope Ranboo doesn’t let me down.

I believe that this aspect of him will come to a fucking HEAD when we see his reaction to Techno and the Festival. This is his moment to change, to learn, to do something. From what I heard (not saw, heard, so take this with a grain of salt), he hasn’t really reacted very much at all. Whatever steps he takes next will define him going forward, and if he takes the wrong ones I will give up on him completely. It has taken months to reach this point, and I have been waiting for so long to see any development on his side. If he continues being a doormat, continues letting this conflict evade him, there is nothing Ranboo can do to make me excited for him anymore. I don’t care if he ends up doing the wrong thing. I don’t care if he ends up hurting everyone. I just want him to do something that fucking matters.

That’s the more meta-textual aspect of my dislike for him. I’ll go into a more “character analysis” rant later where I complain about how his motivations and the things he has done so far (however small or unimportant they may be) don’t exactly add up to me.

[afrival]

Insecurities That the AoT Characters Have [and some they find cute] Scouts Edition

Hello yes I love them sm and like to remember that they would also be insecure abt shit bc they aren’t perfect hope someone finds comfort in these 👍

warnings: slight body issues, insecurities w/ appearance in general

- their insecurities, + insecurities they love

Eren:

- He’s more insecure about his personality than his appearance. Like, he’s aware he can be a dumbass, and thinks he’s too loud and irritating sometimes. Probably wants to be reassured that he’s literally fine and talking at a normal volume but won’t ask

+ Maybe kinda basic, but he’s a fan of larger hips and thighs. They just look nice to him. Arms too! Please hold him

Mikasa:

- She has really thin hair and hates it, but doesn’t really know what to do with it Loves whenever she gets complimented on her hair, it makes her feel a lot better

+ MUSCLES bro, especially in the legs. She can appreciate curves but really gets behind a more masculine physique (flat, few curves, etc) especially w/ women

Armin:

- His height— Wishes he was taller all the fucking time even though he’s literally average height. Also really specific, but he thinks his ears are too big. Please just give this man some ear pecks idk it will heal everything

+ Big noses and lips are cute as hell too him, especially more flat or Roman noses. Just really appreciates being able to smooch your nose or smth idk

Jean:

- Again, not rlly any physical insecurities, doesn’t talk about his interests that much because he thinks that he’ll be annoying about it— loves when people just listen to him talk abt whatever and don’t make him embarrassed abt it

+ Broad shoulders baybeee, likes wrapping his arm around them. I feel like people give this man a bad rep when it comes to what he’s attracted to LAMJDJR give him some credit bro

Connie:

- Literally has a shaved head but thinks his head shape is weird ??? Like he thinks he looks like a 💡 but rlly he’s just

- Acne and rough skin!!!! He LOVES how natural these are and it literally doesn’t affect appearance ever

Sasha:

- REALLY wishes she had blue eyes, like, have you seen armin and historia? Who wouldn’t want a pair of pearly blues after seeing theirs. Please remind this mf that brown eyes are just as pretty

+ Chub/body rolls :,) thinks it’s the cutest shit, but doesn’t comment about it but like she just hdjfjrkrkf

Ymir:

- Her freckles :((( She would honestly just prefer to have clear smooth skin but def has some scars and freckles and everything. Historia always makes sure she knows that she doesn’t need perfect skin to be pretty

+ Short legs. She just thinks they’re so cute, especially if they don’t reach the ground when you sit

Historia:

- It’s a bit specific but sometimes feels kinda embarrassed of her femininity? Like all of these people around her are more tough looking and she just feels like she’s 👸💕 and can’t compare. But like who says you can’t be traditionally feminine AND kick ass at the same time

+ TALL GIRLS. SHE LOVES TALL GIRLS PLEASE dawg. Like just absolutely adores them. Long legs? Yes plz. ALSO BI QUEEN alternatively she thinks short guys are the absolute best

Levi:

- Listen. We’ve all seen those screenshots. Mans has chubby cheeks :,)) He isn’t like INSECURE about them but if someone points them out (cough cough, Hange pinched them or some shit) he will get upset

+ Flat chests, Loves just being able to lay on someone without any potential problems of it hurting the person he’s laying on

Hange:

- She hates whenever she goes on bigass rambles about shit but cannot stop. Like Eren she just feels like she’s annoying everybody with her existence. Please let her talk it’ll make her day

+ Naturally frizzy hair SHE WILL GO BONKERS. ITS SO CUTE PLEASE . She just loves messy looks in general like??? Yes please be chaotic with her she will adore your

Erwin:

- Eyebrows ??? Honestly ?? Like in a modern au I could see him getting them done frequently or getting Historia to teach him how to use a brow pencil

+ Curly hair, ALL KINDS. LOVES it it’s so fucking pretty and just loves it when curls bounce or just exist and look stunningZ Also genuinely does not mind body hair like he couldn’t care less lmao

[thatonceandfutureprat]

Kids grow up, and change. 

My brothers have done a lot of the latter since getting married and having kids. It’s part of life, and you learn and grow and, inevitably, change.

My dad is having a pretty hard time with this, mostly because my brothers seem to have changed into people my dad doesn’t know anymore, and he’s having a really tough time with that.

My oldest brother hasn’t been “home” for ages now. My parents once attempted to have a civil conversation about how much he’d changed and how they weren’t sure they fit into his life anymore, and he stormed off. That hurt my parents so much that whenever he DOES try to reconcile, my parents describe it as “opening up a wound that we’d like to see heal.”

Now my other brother, a proper bitcoin bro - yikes - , has his business-minded father-in-law telling him things that make my dad a little uncomfortable (what with my brother owning part of the farm at this point, as per an agreement made years ago). He was supposed to get the farm, but then his wife apparently didn’t want to move (maybe not back then, she does now, she’s told me herself) and now the whole FIL thing....it’s made my parents, dad especially, very uncomfortable and, with everything else, very unhappy with their current situation, the fact that they’re still living on the farm that they kind of planned to leave five years ago...

And the thing is, they keep telling me these things. And I’m not sure I can or should do something about all this. I’ve tried telling them my SIL does want to move here now, but my parents seem to have become bitter about that and now don’t want anything to do with her. Which isn’t helpful at all. They know.

I don’t now what to do about the thing with my oldest brother either, beyond telling them “at least he seems to want to stay in touch. Don’t you guys want that?” and in that, too, they’ve become embittered. 

They’ve tried putting the farm on my name in case something happens to them, but apparently that’s difficult too, and quite honestly....I don’t know???? what to think of that????????? my future happens one day at the time at the moment, things are changing so rapidly that I barely have time to sleep and process it.

Nevermind all this nonsense that keeps me awake and has me worrying. Should I be? Probably not. But worrying is a character trait at this point that I can’t shake off. 

A few days ago my dad asked me what I thought about moving somewhere else entirely (the current housing market is so shit that he has to ask me, bc I can’t go anywhere else even if I wanted to). Somewhere with a little house, a bit of land and a few stables for the horses, and nature to ride out into. 

I’ve told him to do what makes him happy, because he’s been unhappy for far too long and I hate seeing him like this. I’ve also told him to please seek therapy, because someone else’s professional perspective might actually help. But then “talking to you helps too” is my answer, but the talking to me doesn’t help me. 

Anyway, after he told me that he kind of wanted to move somewhere else and sell the whole lot, I eventually went up to my apartment, closed the door, and finally reached a point where a challenging new job, my other job that isn’t running smoothly at all because my boss refuses to modernise, changing from an insulin pen to a pump and all that entails, doing regional horse club work AND putting a magazine together where I’m not just editor in chief but also the advertising coordinator and in charge of finances really, really became too much and I just wanted to crawl underneath a rock and tell the whole world to fuck off. 

Today the magazine’s done and going to the printer tomorrow, and regional club stuff is, for the moment, out of my hands. So that’s something. But, like, can the world leave me alone for just a moment so I can figure my own shit out? Please? I’d also like a week off to just sleep, thank you.

Also my parents need to grow a pair and talk to their other children. Or a therapist.

god.