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Price of Fame
Written for @steddieangstyaugust Day 31: I'm not going to beg you to love me
T | WC: 1044 | No Archive Warnings Apply; Break up, No Makeup; Hurt No Comfort
AO3
It had been grueling, that's what Eddie thinks he's supposed to say. Blood, sweat, and tears. They got big by being lucky, the humble answer. They had been in the right place at the right time after working their asses off and now they're bigger than the biggest. Corroded Coffin is a household name used in the same sentences as Metallica and Sabbath.
And the honest answers to those interview questions about success, he always knew they fucking would be. It was a foregone conclusion in his mind, everyone else just had to catch up. They worked for it, blood and sweat that part probably is true. But what is it they always say? If you love what you do you never work a day in your life, Eddie thinks there's some truth to that too.
It's hard being on the road. But they got big and they stay big by touring, so Jeff wracks up a nasty bill at every hotel they manage to get calling the wife back home, Gareth keeps a girlfriend in every state, and he doesn't know what Freak's deal is. But the perk of being queer as a three dollar bill, Eddie can spend his nine months a year on the road and come back to Steve like nothing's changed. It's different with guys, with them. Cause Steve gets it, he's always been their biggest supporter. He knows the music comes first, the guys are Eddie's family, and he doesn't complain or ask for anything more than the time Eddie is able to give him.
It'll be a longer stretch at home this time, nearly a month, and Eddie is pushing open the door to the apartment he keeps for Steve already thinking about all the ways they can spend the time.
All to trip over a bag in the floor. Dropping his behind him with a thump, the old army surplus duffle that's been as faithful to him as his boyfriend hitting the ground with a smack that brings the man of the hour out from the bedroom. He's got another bag over his shoulder, something expensive looking and stylish that Eddie wonders if he bought.
“Did I forget to tell you I was coming home?”
“Well it wouldn't be the first time,” Steve's voice is sharp and clipped. Face pinched in a way that conjures memories of his mother, the one time Eddie met her.
“If you've got a trip with Robin planned change it, I'll only-”
“Be in town for a few days?” Steve asks. “So I should keep putting my life on hold for the few minutes that you can pencil me in? Change my plans because you've blown into town and just like always Eddie Munson's plans are more important than anyone else's.”
“I thought you'd be happy to see me?”
The question brings a quiet like the eye of the storm, he can already feel the whipping wind starting to push back in around him, smell the ozone in the air; but those words halt everything for a second.
Then Steve breaks.
“I am happy, Eddie,” there's a wet shine in his eye and he knows better than to think Steve is going to give him the satisfaction of letting a single one fall. “That's the worst part. I'm happy every time you walk through the door but I can't fucking survive only being happy one week out of every nine.”
A DM at heart, he can't stand a problem that no one will bring a solution to. Spits the way he would when Gareth would bitch about combat balance, “Then fu-”
“Call a hotel you haven't left the number to?” Steve is vicious, stealing the satisfaction of the curse from between his still pursed lips. “I spent my whole fucking childhood doing that, and I'm not doing it anymore. I-”
He looks down at his feet, at Eddie's, the sprawl of the pristine leather suitcase he moved in with years ago, his grandfather's Eddie remembers. Rather, he remembers the fond way Steve had talked about it.
“I'm done,” he says more to the kicked over luggage than he does to the man he is leaving. “I'm gonna stay at Robin's, she's waiting.”
Desperation claws at the back of Eddie's throat, but what makes it out is his father. “You can't leave.”
Fury lurks at the bottom of the water in Steve's red rimmed eyes. An anger Eddie can feel as they snap to his. “Why not? There's no prenup, no lawyers to get involved. I can walk right out the door you're standing in the way of and you can keep on being Eddie Munson, mysterious bachelor of Corroded Coffin.”
“There is no me without you,” he tries, but even saying it he can hear how it rings hollow off the barren hallway walls.
Steve likes to yell, likes to get loud, has told Eddie it's the only way he could make sure that there was life in the big empty house he grew up in was to make sure he could hear his bouncing off the walls. So he's ready to be yelled at. Ready for whatever Steve wants to scream in his face before they move back into the kitchen or to the bedroom where they'll find normal again.
So he almost doesn't hear the whispered way his relationship slips away. “I'm not going to beg you to love me. I can't do that again.”
“Steve, no, Stevie I do. I do love you. Of course I love you, all of this is for you. All of everything is for you, we can work this out. Just stay.” He begs, babbles, pleads as Steve moves with a silent assuredness close enough to pick up his bag.
“Goodbye, Eddie, I really am so proud of you.” Sincerity rings through in every word, just like he can feel that bittersweet love in Steve's last kiss to the corner of his mouth.
The door clicks shut between them and Eddie is alone. Alone holding the scraps of a broken heart he won't be able to write a song about and with an answer he can't give to his least favorite interview question. What's been the cost of your meteoric rise to fame?
#my fic#steddie#steddieangstyaugust#break up no make up#hurt no comfort#not usually my bag you guys but its what the story called for#ive had this written since like week 1 of this month#id just watched jersey boys and i was reading jim hensons biography#so i had those shared themes of fame coming at the price of those romantic relationships on the brain
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Oh look, it seems like there's a Republican-led movement to purge voter rolls in the lead-up to the election! It's almost as if your vote matters and they don't want you to vote! Anyway, I whipped up a quick map (based on this) that shows when the voter registration deadline is in each state. There are a few deadlines coming up in the next week or so.
If you live in a state that regularly purges voter rolls for infrequent voters (the orange ones in the first map), or if you moved recently, it's good to check if you're still registered to vote.
Vote.org makes it super easy to check your registration: https://www.vote.org/am-i-registered-to-vote/
Just put in your address and DOB and they'll tell you whether you're registered. (And they give you a quick link to register online if it turns out that you're not! Only the 9 states in white on my map don't have online registration, and for those they provide instructions on how to do it via mail or in person.) If you want an extra verification, find your state's election website and double-check there.
So yeah, give yourself peace of mind -- do a quick check. :)
#sorry that us election season plagues the non-usa folks on tumblr#took a break from binging more batfam fics to do this lol#i LOVE how easy vote.org makes things tho#lowkey was planning to do a gotv comic but the reg deadlines were coming up so#us election 2024#thank you past self from 2020 for already having a map in a psd file#i got my voter info booklet in the mail on friday and i'm so hype
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The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind
Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal, the real Light of Mankind.
It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.
#bruce offended parent and signals biggest fan wayne#hes so petty about it during JL meetings. he shuts down all the lights on the watchtower#Batman we cant see#well thats not a problem cause the light of mankind should be able to light up the room while stating directly at superman who just#looks so resigned#Tim floods the internet with pictures of Duke using his powers and fighting villians all with the hashtag theRealLightOfMankind#Duke is having the time of his light#he poses for Tim and makes rainbows on days it rains and poses like sailor moon#its a fun joke for Duke#its a matter of life or death for the rest of them#Dick has to stop Damian from breaking out the kryptonite not knowing that Jason has already stolen it and is heading for metropolis#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#signal#duke thomas#tim drake#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#superman
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tw: broken frontal bone tw: broken left parietal bone tw: broken right parietal bone tw: broken left temporal bone tw: broken right temporal bone tw: broken occipital bone tw: broken sphenoid bone tw: broken ethmoid bone tw: broken mandible tw: broken left maxilla tw: broken right maxilla tw: broken left palantine bone tw: broken right palantine bone tw: broken left zygomatic bone tw: broken right zygomatic bone tw: broken left nasal bone tw: broken right nasal bone tw: broken left lacrimal bone tw: broken right lacrimal bone tw: broken vomer tw: broken left nasal conchae tw: broken right nasal conchae tw: broken left malleus tw: broken right malleus tw: broken left incus tw: broken right incus tw: broken left stapes tw: broken right stapes tw: broken hyoid tw: broken left scapula tw: broken right scapula tw: broken left clavicle tw: broken right clavicle tw: broken sternum tw: broken left rib 1 tw: broken left rib 2 tw: broken left rib 3 tw: broken left rib 4 tw: broken left rib 5 tw: broken left rib 6 tw: broken left rib 7 tw: broken left rib 8 tw: broken left rib 9 tw: broken left rib 10 tw: broken left rib 11 tw: broken left rib 12 tw: broken right rib 1 tw: broken right rib 2 tw: broken right rib 3 tw: broken right rib 4
tw: broken right rib 5 tw: broken right rib 6 tw: broken right rib 7 tw: broken right rib 8 tw: broken right rib 9 tw: broken right rib 10 tw: broken right rib 11 tw: broken right rib 12 tw: broken cervical vertebra 1 tw: broken cervical vertebra 2 tw: broken cervical vertebra 3 tw: broken cervical vertebra 4 tw: broken cervical vertebra 5 tw: broken cervical vertebra 6 tw: broken cervical vertebra 7 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 1 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 2 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 3 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 4 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 5 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 6 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 7 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 8 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 9 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 10 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 11 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 12 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 1 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 2 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 3 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 4 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 5 tw: broken sacrum tw: broken coccyx tw: broken left humerus tw: broken right humerus tw: broken left radius tw: broken right radius tw: broken left ulna tw: broken right ulna tw: broken left scaphoid bone tw: broken right scaphoid bone tw: broken left lunate bone tw: broken right lunate bone tw: broken left triquetral bone tw: broken right triquetral bone tw: broken left pisiform bone
tw: broken right pisiform bone tw: broken left trapezium tw: broken right trapezium tw: broken left trapezoid bone tw: broken right trapezoid bone tw: broken left capitate bone tw: broken right capitate bone tw: broken left hamate bone tw: broken right hamate bone tw: broken left metacarpal 1 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 2 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 3 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 4 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 5 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 1 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 2 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 3 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 4 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 5 bone tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 5 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 1 tw: broken left distal phalanx 2 tw: broken left distal phalanx 3 tw: broken left distal phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 5 tw: broken right distal phalanx 1 tw: broken right distal phalanx 2 tw: broken right distal phalanx 3 tw: broken right distal phalanx 4 tw: broken right distal phalanx 5 tw: broken left innominate bone tw: broken right innominate bone tw: broken left femur tw: broken right femur
tw: broken left patella tw: broken right patella tw: broken left tibia tw: broken right tibia tw: broken left fibula tw: broken right fibula tw: broken left calcaneus tw: broken right calcaneus tw: broken left talus tw: broken right talus tw: broken left navicular bone tw: broken right navicular bone tw: broken left medial cuneiform bone tw: broken right medial cuneiform bone tw: broken left intermediate cuneiform bone tw: broken right intermediate cuneiform bone tw: broken left lateral cuneiform bone tw: broken right lateral cuneiform bone tw: broken left cuboid bone tw: broken right cuboid bone tw: broken left metatarsal 1 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 2 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 3 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 4 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 5 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 1 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 2 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 3 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 4 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 5 bone tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 1 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 1 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 1 tw: broken left distal phalanx 2 tw: broken left distal phalanx 3 tw: broken left distal phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 5 tw: broken right distal phalanx 1 tw: broken right distal phalanx 2 tw: broken right distal phalanx 3 tw: broken right distal phalanx 4 tw: broken right distal phalanx 5
tw: bruising
just had a bad accident
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the spear of longinus
#arcane#art tag#arcane season 2#…#arcane spoilers#KINDA#not really…. i didnt say nothing what if i just went for the vibes#okay spoilery talk below#ohhh vi my sweet butch… u did not deserve this#sa sobrang lala ng lesbian situationship mo yung isa naging leader ng martial law#OHHH THEY R SO SILLY THEY MAKE MY HEART CRACK AND BREAK AND OUUU#i hope caitlyn is begging sceeaming crying on her knees in act 3 if they dont make up this way i will be PISSED#league of legends#lol#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x vi#vi lol#caitlyn lol#caitvi#violyn#piltovers finest#piltovers gayest#arcane s2
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Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#and we arrived at the breaking point#i know the last pages have been very depresso but i swear once this arc is over we'll get right back on track with the funnies#but first we have to deal with some DRAMA#imagine what it would be like if some otherworldly entity took over your body#and suddenly you start making friends and patching up old friendships#Something even your mother is proud of you for#even though it's not YOU doing that#you'd feel like people don't like YOU but only that parasite in your body#because without it you're just that creepy kid next door#you'd feel like the world would be better without you#at least that's what Kris must be feeling right now#i DO wonder what's up with this cave though#it clearly is NOT the exit#and what's with those markings outside and inside the cave?#hmmmmm
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They asked Lee Majdoub what he thinks of Stobotnik vs what Stone thinks of it and this man chose violence omg the more I read the more painful it gets
#although i do love that even though he's having great time making these movies and he and jim are good friends#lee still understands how messed up that relationship is cuz that's the whole point of their relationship#but Robotnik does have a soft spot for this guy even though he hates humans he keeps this one guy by his side always#but i did hope that they would be more than boss and employe but no they decided to break my heart and leave stone all alone#sonic 3#lee majdoub#agent stone#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonic movie 3#sonic movie#sonic movie 2#sonic 2#sonic the hedgehog 2#sonic the hedgehog 3#sth#Stobotnik#stonbotnik#doctor robotnik#ivo robotnik#doctor eggman#I don't think i need to tag it as spoilers
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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@pscentral event 20: antagonists ↳ THE LORDS IN BLACK in NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE
#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid#npmdedit#team starkid#the lords in black#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#npmd spoilers#userisiah#userfaiths#userbaz#usercats#userhallie#noooo fucking clue what to tag in this fandom lmao#musicaledit#? sure#anyway yeah i watched npmd and immediately had to make this i was up until 1 am last night#wouldve been earlier but i had to take a break for dnd lol#i was gonna do a tua set for the event but this is easier and better so like. slay#i just wish they had more screen time. pokey and tinky have less than 20 seconds each </3#oh and the titles and stuff are from the fan wiki. hope i didn't get anything wrong#i've been getting a lot of use out of this motion blur text transition its so funky fresh#*edits
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Snap Snap Snap
https://www.tumblr.com/boyimjustaloserforyourlove/767338606523301888/snap-snap-snap-pt-2?source=share part two!
LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN MY POSTS OR THE NEXT PART IN THE COMMENTS OR ANYWHERE ELSE!
me to their seminal vesicles because i wasn't raised to take shit from no man 💅🏻 also them to you in this smau✉️
my second request!!?! i hope this is to your standards. no Choso and Yuji because I can't see my babies snapping. it can't happen.
you like ? let me know! comments and reblogs and likes are appreciated and give me dopamine!
send requests, I'll probably do them all lol. i hope it is to your liking.
don't worry, both of these will be coming. your vote decides which one comes first
#jjk SMAU#jujutsu kaisen SMAU#jjk angst#jjk smut#jjk fluff#gojo SMAU#itadori SMAU#megumi SMAU#reader insert#jjk AU#jjk text fic#toji x reader#gojo x reader#itadori x reader#megumi x reader#angst#slow burn#secret relationship#fake dating#jealous#protective#break up#make up#texting#soft moments#toxic relationship#banter#yearning#misunderstandings#jjk
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he makes for such a great gorgeous dead wife memory montage. i am not okay
#just finished the first part....#i may have cried....#the wings make him look especially like an angel. im gonna frow up#shattered glass#transformers shattered glass#starscream#skystar#<- I GUESS!!!!!!! breaks down into a sob
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness
#like even putting aside the utter insanity of him imprinting on a newborn (WHICH IS HARD TO PUT ASIDE) it is still CRAZY#like bella was never gonna do anything but be a vampire. from the moment she meets them the only ending for her is to join the cullens.#throughout the series the only thing we see tying bella to humanity is jacob. that's the conflict for her. thats what she must forfeit.#ofc there's charlie but SHE makes the decision that giving that relationship up is worth it to her#bella was never going to do anything else but jake WAS. jake HAD a whole life ahead of him that was taken from him#HE HAS NO CHOICE. HE'S JUST COMPELLED TO DO IT#ugh. jacob can be the Worst sometimes but ultimately he's a victim of the narrative fr#being kinda shitty & unable to get over a girl at 16 shouldn't condemn u to giving up literally every other relationship in ur life#also the phrasing of 'the girl who friendzoned him' in this post makes it sound like i think bella is wrong for that & to be clear i don't#i just mean to emphasize like. how young they are & how trivial their relationship drama would seem to them years down the line#jacob black#twilight#the twilight saga#twilight blog#bella swan#jacob twilight#quil ateara#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#embry call#sam uley#stephanie meyer#smeyer#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#twilight critical#mine#jake
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short#ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half#i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved#like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can#but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay#and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up#and maybe no one else ever will#DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak#but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB
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HYUNJIN SKZ TALKER EP. 65
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#bystay#staydaily#me on my two hour break until the next shift: what if instead of having lunch i just made hyunjin gifs . surely that’s enough sugar#and honey in my system to make my blood pressure go up#gifs#even when u are dangerous when wet u still need to switch to do not disturb mode.. very important.
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