#brb screaming into a fucking pillow

[lucawrites11]

what about friday's match made sarina think YOU KNOW WHAT LET'S DO THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING??

like i know the goals that were conceded were good goals almost impossible defend but england were slow on the ball, poor in possession, failed to create chances, failed to get players in the box and failed to hold up the ball enough to string a couple of fucking passes together IT'S A JOKE there needs to be a tactical shift and speed introduced to the starting xi

[wistfulwatcher]

EMILY & HOTCH DANCING in 7.24 RUN

[anyasathenaeum]

Listen, I don’t have a type.

*sweating a lil* I swear, I don’t have a type, it’s just-

*sweating profusely* I MAY HAVE A TYPE OKAY MAYBE JUST MAYBE HAVE MERCY

[burningtacozombie]

excuse me for a minute while I'm fanning myself...

[aiura-stan]

look im not a Saiteru shipper, but Teruhashi’s thoughts being the last and most extensive that break through to Saiki, and her request being a prayer to God, which Saiki answers, and then immediately admits that he likes troublesome things, really fucking gets me

[becomingabeing]

Nueng, the only son and heir of a mafia family, loved and nurtured and sheltered his whole life while acutely aware that his future is a foregone conclusion telling Palm, the boy who has had to work all his life, with a future that was as uncertain as the choppy waters he loves so much until his father signed his life over to protect another's son, that no one owns his life, does things to me.

[worth-the-chaos]

Guys I fucked up my opportunity for a meet cute with the boy I think is super cute (that I haven’t talked to yet). Fuck.

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

SIR those veins sir that strumming hand SIR those shoulders sir that wet hair sir that slutty open mouth SIR that tight corset sir those pin-point nips SIR can you fucking not SIrrRRrrRrRRrrrrrRRrrr

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

When you love someone so much but you're almost certain that they don't reciprocate but you can't stop looking for signs and there MIGHT be something there but maybe you're just seeing things and you just adore them and can't stop thinking about them and you want to tell them you love them so badly and kiss them and take them on dates and spend the rest of your life with them but you can't risk ruining what you have and

Because

Yeah

[boyslugs]

got told last night that if i ever got a biopic saiorse ronan should be a potential casting for me and i was like "oh nice" because i forgot what she looks like. i have just been reminded what she looks like and HELLO???? I AM FUCKING HONORED???

[belovedharringrove]

today's mood? listening to this on repeat and sobbing. why? i have 0 clue.

when you find an old picture of us and you clear away the dust i hope you miss me sometimes

[nordarknessdimsthesky]

A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags

This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.

1. Feeling Normal™️

Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).

#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL

2. Feralness

The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.

#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it

3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts

These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.

# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years

4. Throwing

All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.

#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture

5. Bodily Harm

There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.  

#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me

6. Absurdism

My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].

#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass

7. Keysmashes

These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.

#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh

*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.

[moodywyrm]

Cockwarming w ellie, except you get too worked up n start pushing onto it and then the rest is alll u babe🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

nonnie the noise I let out was fucking inhuman ,,,,, u can't just say this shit to me i'll go insane

I imagine that Ellie can be such a lil shit when she wants to be, so just fucking imagine coming to her all needy n whiny n hor knee one day, literally begging her to fuck you (in a cool consensual way). n she's like sorry baby I have work to do (no she doesn't) but you can sit on my strap n wait for me like a good girl :) (it's all part of her plan) n ur like ok yeah I'll take it pls bb

so she makes u strip, n then she strips down to a wife pleaser (way cuter name for those tank tops) n her boxers, puts on the strap, sits down n her big gaming chair n hauls u onto her lap. helps u sink down, but right as u try to start bouncing she holds u down with her deceptively strong arms.

'no baby, we made a deal. just sit here n be good for me' n ur all pouty but u agree, draping ur arms around her shoulders n tucking ur face into her neck, pressing ur tits against her chest, trying to just zone out, maybe snooze (probably not) while u wait for her. n Ellie, the lil shit, is really just doing some busy work that she could absolutely delay. so she starts running a hand up n down ur back, making u shiver, wiggling 'to get more comfortable' but really just so the 6in girthy strap shifts around inside u n makes u squirm. it takes like fifteen minutes for u to snap out of it n realize what she's doing, bc she hasn't typed or moved anything on her desk for a while, caught up in teasing u. n u, mildly annoyed at her antics, just sit up and brace both hands against her shoulders, pushing her against the back of the chair n frowning.

'ur just teasing me for fun >:(' all pouty. n she's like ??? no??? (liar) n she's about to get back to her antics when u pull her hands of ur waist and hold them down against the arm rest, basically pinning her down while u start grinding against her. u tip ur head back n starting bouncing, whining and moaning for her, n she swears she's never seen u look so needy. ur covered in a sheen of sweat from her teasing, ur neck all pretty n exposed, ur tits bouncing n ur thighs slapping against hers, n she can't do a goddamn thing.

'fuck, baby, u really needed me, huh?' she murmurs, trying to move her hands n moaning when u move one to ur waist n the other to ur tits. u lean forward, ur tits in her face, n place ur hands on the back of the gaming chair so u can bounce even harder. the change in pace n position makes the strap hit her clit through the boxers, n she moans so loud it catches her off guard. she's basically pawing at u, mouthing at ur tits n whispering praises against ur skin, her eyes rolling back with the friction against her clit getting more n more intense.

n then, u switch to grinding, pulling her face away from ur tits n holding it in both hands while u kiss her, sloppy n whiny but so fucking good. the grinding puts constant, delicious pressure on her cunt n her legs start shaking. knowing she's about to snap, she moves one hand down to ur sweet lil cunt n starts toying with ur clit, moaning into ur mouth when u let out the sweetest, choked out lil whine, shaking against her as she pushes u over the edge, one hand still toying with ur sensitive nipples. seeing u cum for her so prettily really fucking does it for her, bc she starts cumming so hard she whites out for second, panting into ur mouth as u whine, the both of u writhing n moaning n gripping at each other as u ride out ur highs.

once u both come down n are trying to regain ur breathing, she just goes 'holy shit' n u look at her n give her a lil smack on the arm, more of a pat really, before going 'u asshole' n giving her a sweet lil kiss <3

i need to go scream into my pillow brb

[for-a-longlongtime]

CALLING ALL THE BISEXUALS

it appears we have been summoned

by the bi lighting*

to come look at him

LOOKIT.

Stop it he's so fucking beautiful

i can't even stand it anymore

brb need to go scream in a pillow

(* bisexual lighting is a cinematic/art thing, yes)

ty @magpiepills for the line 'summoning the bisexuals', I just had to make a post with it 💜

(I'm not defining him ok, I'm just pointing out the bat signal for all of us bi's here on Tumblr so don't come for me, just enjoy the pretty picture)

honary mention to @immarocketman because i swear to god I had to take a second look, for a moment i thought it was one of your gorgeous Din paintings!

[polteergeistt]

I FOUND MY GUITAR TEACHER'S YTB ACCOUNT AND HE'S A FUCKING NERD AND A SHOW OFF AND GOTH AS FUCK HE'S A BADASS GOTH MUSIC MAN WITH THE THIGHS AND TUMMY AND BEARD AND I'M GOING TO EAT MY PILLOW IN ONE BITE. OH YEAH SURE I KNOW THAT CRAZY COOL THING YOU DID WAS IMPROV YOU TALENTED BASTARD. HE'S A NERD. HE HAS SO MANY STUFF. I NEED TO PUT THIS MAN BETWEEN MY MOLARS. HOW THE FUCK DOES HE DO THAT. OH WAIT. I KNOW. HE TAUGHT ME. FFS. OH YEAH DO COVERS OF BAUHAUS AND TYPE O NEGATIVE. IT'S FINE. DO A FULL ASS COOL FUCKING COVER THE DAY BEFORE OUR CONCERT. YEAH JUST DO THAT. IT'S FINE. GUYS HE HAD A TANK WITH AQUATIC TURTLES. WET BEASTS !!!!! I AM INSANE ABOUT THAT MAN. I FEEL A SCREAM SWELL IN MY THROAT. THAT'S FUCKING INSANE. I'M FUCKING INSANE. THERE WERE TIMES WHEN I WAS ALONE IN A ROOM WITH THAT MAN. FUCKING HELL. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. HIS VIDEOS HAVE NO COMMENTS AND LIKE 3 LIKES THAT IS SO UNFAIR I WANT TO SPAM HIS COMMENTS LIKE I SPAM INBOXES. FUCKASS NERD. I NEED TO BE SEDATED RIGHT THIS INSTANT. DO I HAVE A THING FOR BALD TEACHERS WHAT'S GOING ONE ???!?!!? I'M NOT EVEN OVULATING. THAT IS NOT FUCKING FAIR. HE RECORDED HIS SHIT IN HIS FUCKASS LIVING ROOM AND HIS SILLY FUCKING ROOM. MAN I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER AND ADULT UP. OW WGAT THE HELL. I'M ACTIVELY SO UNOKAY RIGHT NOW. AND AND AND AND HE MADE PLAYLISTS OF SONGS HE WANTED TO PLAY FOR THE GIG AND THE SONG WE DID WAS THERE. HE REALLY REALLY WANTED TO PLAY IT. HE WAS SO GLAD THE BOSS KEPT IT. HE'S A NERD. I'M GOING TO CHOKE MYSELF ON SACRED VAPOURS GANG BRB. I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. I WON'T SEE HIM BEFORE SEPTEMBER. I'M GOING TO HOLLER.

[toomuchracket]

i want to suck the skin off that mans dick so bad rn (ross) hes so im so. need him to fuck my face. be his cum dump 😔😔 his little toy to use for his pleasure

no this is so real i actually think all my morals would fly out the window if i ever found myself in a Situation with him. but you KNOW it's big (cheers matthew for that gossip), so he'd prob need to train you to take him properly... going insane at the thought of that actually. like those hands of his gently coaxing your head further down onto him, while he's saying shit like "fuck, so fucking good for me, love. think you were fucking made for this, made for me. d'you think you could take me in that pretty cunt of yours, too? need something else to fuck once i'm done with your mouth. but i'll make you feel good, angel, i promise. always do, don't i?" CHRIST ok brb i am off to scream into a pillow <3