#bpd vs npd

[hauntedselves]

Steele's Notes on NPD

NPD vs BPD

Generally have less capacity than BPD to mentalize, lack more insight, have more difficulty recalling early abuse/neglect, have less empathy toward others

Severely avoidant of genuine connection;

May need to keep a power differential in the relationship

Don’t respond well to being reassured that they are “human” and “normal,” unlike most borderline clients.

Classic NPD symptoms & behaviours

Arrogant, entitled, critical, controlling, lacks empathy

Inflated “self” is a defense against shame and devalued “self”

Experiences related to devalued self are completely avoided or denied

Generally are unable to acknowledge devalued self

Therapist should not explicitly confront the defense

Acknowledge that it might be lonely and challenging to feel that no one else is good enough

Explore any perceived disadvantages to the defense

Fragile NPD

Alternate between grandiosity and inadequacy

Unhappy, critical of others, anxious, envious, competitive, and have extreme reactions to perceived slights or criticism

Tend to obsessively compare themselves with others

Strong perfectionism

Have narcissistic defenses that work well until they are criticized or rejected

Can access their devalued self: therapist can focus on root causes of devalued self

Reversed NPD

Strong belief and need to be the worst, the sickest, the most traumatized patient

Underlying need to be special, but due to dysfunction, not adequacy

Strong need for validation and compassion

Therapist focuses on emotional validation and less on content of distress

Encourage client to communicate through more positive experiences and affect (compassionately shift focus from negative to positive experiences

Treatment approaches for NPD

Trauma-based in many clients

Certainly affected by quality of early relationships (neglect)

Work with conflicting idealized and devalued selves

Work with inner critic and perfectionism

Mentalization based treatment

Transference based psychotherapy

Dialectical behavior therapy

EMDR and other approaches to resolve early traumatic memories (often not explicitly accessible in the narcissistic patient)

Treatment approaches in Fragile NPD

Identify the conflicting idealized and devalued selves

Help client notice swings between the two

Help client recognize the distortions in both

“I suffer more than anyone; my abuse was the worst; I am completely damaged”

Versus

“I could have been and should be the best”

Help client deal with relentless inner critic

From Kathy Steele’s presentation 'Integrating Personality Disorders in our Work with Complex Trauma and Dissociation' (PDF), 18 August 2021, Delphi Centre.

[Transcribed from a PowerPoint presentation without notes; therefore this post is without context]

[normystical]

found this meme online somewhere

so now

get ready for

and

⚠️⚠️⚠️ DNI IF YOU BELIEVE IN NARCISSISTIC ABUSE OR BORDERLINE ABUSE. DNI IF YOU USE "NARCISSISTIC," "BORDERLINE," "ANTISOCIAL," "PSYCHOPATH," "SOCIOPATH," OR "LOW/NO EMPATHY" AS INSULTS. THESE HEADCANONS ARE DERIVED FROM THEIR GENERAL EMOTIONAL BEHAVIOR, NOT THEIR ABUSE. CLUSTER B FACES ARGUABLY THE MOST DISCRIMINATION OF THE NEURODIVERGENT COMMUNITY. SUPPORT THEM. ⚠️⚠️⚠️

[eclaire-went-bam]

"covert" narcissist this "overt" narcissist that, are y'all actually that consistent?

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Cluster B culture is “Wow Quora hates me”

.

[straightyuri]

Looking up npd n feeling like it matches ur experiences a lot n then looking at all the other stuff in search results that act like people with npd are evil monsters without souls is literally ghoulish. Like wow. Thanks.

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

I think the worst part of all this is the anger I continue to take out on everyone else including myself because I was too scared to express it to you.

I was too scared of losing you.

So I let you scream in my face. I let you criticize me endlessly. I let you belittle me. I let you take my entire soul and rip it from my body, with nothing left but blood vessels and grief bleeding out all over the floor.

I can’t tell what was more toxic,

Me still loving you to the point of delusion, or me wanting to be loved by you so desperately that I allowed you to disrespect me the way you did.

[a-sip-of-milo]

NPD Resources Masterlist

[BPD]

The official resources masterlist for NPD. Includes all the links I've shared in the past and stuff I haven't.

Any posts I've linked about supporting those with NPD have been put in the misc section because I do not want to take away from what this post is really about, which is helping people with NPD, not the people around them.

Diagnostic criteria

NPD diagnostic criteria, rewritten by someone who has it

Official diagnostic criteria

An explanation of the diagnostic criteria

Recovery resources FOR the narcissist

NPD recovery resources

How to find therapy for NPD, common types of therapy and signs of an abusive/toxic therapist

Narcissist supply

What is narc supply?

Things that can give a narcissist supply

NPD stigma

The perception of NPD symptoms vs. how a narcissist might actually experience them

Why those with NPD have a hard time seeking help (spoiler alert: it's not because they're unaware)

A plea from someone with NPD (and some resources debunking common misconceptions)

Narcissism is not abusive / abuse is abusive

Debunking common myths on NPD

Common disproven myths about NPD

Miscellaneous

How to support someone with NPD

NPD Carrd (What is NPD, dpt skills and self-help)

Unravelling the connection: npd as a trauma response

NPD terminology (do's and dont's)

NPD safe blogs

@empath-abuse-awareness

@enigma-in-reality

@loverofmirage

@the-npd-culture-is

@nicepersondisorder

@theegosystem

@mischiefmanifold

NPD positivity so you don't have to go looking

Reblog to kiss a narcissist on the forehead

Reblog to tell your local narcissist that they're the best ever

Happy NPD appreciation day

Positivity for systems with NPD

Be normal about narcissists unless it's to give them love

NPD should be EPD (Epic Personality Disorder)

Of course I have a praise kink, I have NPD

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful

Positivity for narcissists who like sex

I love my narcissists

Aromantic narcissists are amazing

Narcissists I love you

Easy ways to spot a narcissist (it's not what you think <;3)

Narcissists deserve to be loved

As usual, if something needs to be deleted because it's wrong/comes from a toxic author/etc. please let me know. I tried to look on Google but all I found was ableist shit, so these are all found by your fellow narcissists on tumblr :)

Edit: If you have any resources, please send them to me through an ask or DM and i'll check it out/add it!

[serial-unaliver]

npd dad vs bpd mom who will win

bpd mom because she'll threaten to kill herself first

[livingfictionsystem]

Hot psychology take:

Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder is *so* comorbid.

Like a 30-40% comorbidity rate. The two overlap a Lot. Mostly because of a gender differential; a lot of AMAB people are dx'd as Npd and AFABs are dx'd BPD even if they have the same symptoms.

Yet I'm seeing Borderline people like "Oh yeah I'm an EMPATH that was VICTIMIZED by a NARCISSIST" and Narcissists that are like "Oh I'm a shark chasing after prey, I don't feel anything, all I need a source."

Like no. Y'all ain't that different from one another. There is a substantial overlap in that Venn diagram. The fact that you act like this emotions vs. Non-emotional dichotomy fucking SENDS me, that's not how this works.

I'm Borderline. I don't have NPD, but I'm friends with at least two clinical Narcissists and I love them to death. I relate to them on some levels, not others. PwNPD have emotion, deep emotion, but they operate on the realization that emotional honesty is weakness and that ego is a defense. Borderlines have been punished for having identity and boundaries and therefore sacrifice it for the chance to be loved until they can't take it anymore. Both are trauma-born. Both can be manipulative. Both are statistically more often victims than perpetrators.

Cut the shit already.

-Sincerely, a Borderline dude that loves the entire Cluster B for what it is.

-Sparrow 🧷

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend for not taking her meds?

My (24M) girlfriend (28F) has bipolar and BPD. We've been together coming up on 3 years now. For the last half a year we were together it was pretty rough and turbulent, she was unmedicated and was having suicidal breakdowns almost every day, ended up in hospital several times, threatened and got into physical altercations with other girls who spoke to me or she thought were flirting with me, and I was spending almost every single day of my life having to take hours to talk her down from suicide or self-harm. It was emotionally exhausting and as someone who's also had suicide attempts in the past it was also incredibly triggering and damaging to my own mental health.

For additional context as to why I feel the way I do, my last girlfriend also had diagnosed BPD and NPD and when she stopped taking her medication she became fully abusive both physically and verbally and it took me a year of being absolutely beaten down to finally snap and leave her.

(Obvious note: I'm not saying everyone with bipolar, BPD, or NPD is abusive or that these illnesses inherently make you abusive. They were an abuser who just happened to have those things, and that played into how they acted and thought/felt.)

Current girlfriend eventually got medication and has been doing much better for most of the time since then. When she's on her meds she's a wonderful and generally pretty healthy partner - she's supportive, understanding of my boundaries, checks in with me, she's a year clean from self-harm, hasn't displayed any kind of self-destructive behaviour. She's gotten a job and managed to hold it down (got fired from several jobs in the past because of her daily meltdowns meaning she wasn't attending work), she's started exercising and going to the gym, she's picked up new hobbies, made new friends, she's just been doing great in general.

For about the past month though, she started going days without taking her medication and when I reminded her she would say she didn't want to, that she hated taking it, that she doesn't like the way it makes her feel etc. This is something my last girlfriend said too, and I know it's really common for people with BPD (and maybe bipolar too?) to stop taking their medication because they feel emotionally flat in comparison to how they feel off of the meds. I pretty much said that I couldn't handle going back to how she acts when she's off of the medication again and that if she was going to stop taking them then I didn't think our relationship would last through that kind of period again because last time it completely destroyed my mental health, my sleep, my life and several of my relationships due to how much energy and time I was having to put into her vs. myself and everything else. I suggested asking her doctor/psychiatrist/etc. for another dosage change or meds switch again to see if that would work better (though up until recently they have seemed to be working great so I'm not sure how good of an idea switching it up again would be).

She agreed at the time but I was kind of concerned about whether she'd been keeping up with it or not because over the last few weeks I've already noticed things devolving again - her screaming at me out of nowhere and having mood swings, intense jealousy and possessiveness, impulsive behaviour, even a couple of breakdowns again and having to talk her out of self-harm for the first time in over a year. True enough, today I found out she's been pretending to take her medication and throwing them out. When I confronted her about it she admitted she hasn't taken her medication for weeks.

I pretty much withdrew after that and didn't say anything at that moment but after a while she asked me why I was being so quiet and I basically repeated what I'd said to her in the last conversation, that I was honestly rethinking whether or not the relationship would work because I can't handle that kind of emotional exhaustion and constant sacrifice all over again. I don't mind some emotional support and some labour of love in a relationship because of course I'm going to need to look out for her mental health and reassure and comfort sometimes, that's the reality of loving someone who struggles, but I can't do it 24/7 again. I can't once again put talking her down for hours every day and weathering screaming and violent lashing out all the time at the expense of even my own basic needs and my own mental health struggles (for example my c-PTSD from my last relationship).

When I said that she got very very upset and basically said I was forcing her to choose between me and freedom or being able to live a normal/unmedicated life (which I mean, I guess I can't argue with because in a way I am making her choose between me and stopping her meds), and that I couldn't control her like that. I told her I wasn't doing it to control her and that if she's really determined to go off of them she could, but that I would have to make my own personal choice to walk away as a result of it for my own sake.

She said she'd think about it but ever since that conversation I've been going back and forth in my head on how much of a dick move it would be to flat out just do a black-and-white "Either you stay on your meds and regulate your behaviour or I leave"

TL;DR Girlfriend wants to go off of her medication, but when she's off her meds she has almost daily suicidal breakdowns and lashes out at me physically and verbally. WIBTA if I broke up with her if she goes ahead with stopping?

What are these acronyms?

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Please, elaborate more on these Hazbin Hotel headcanons. I’m very interested in hearing about them.

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

Since you didn't ask about anything specific, I'll just give some headcanons on Vs since I think about them the most.

> Vs are not a polycule, it's VoxVal + Velvette because she would never touch any of these losers. What's more, Vox and Val are extremely sexist (I mean it's kinda canon, we heard how they speak about women) so if she had sex with any (or both) of them, she would no longer be one of the boys and become one of the bitches.

> Vox has NPD, Val has BPD, Vel has APD.

> Vox is continuously overstimulated because he's constantly connected to his web. That's why snaps so easily and sometimes goes through 5 stages of grief in 5 seconds. He could disconnect (and sometimes he does) but he's too much of a control freak to not lurk constantly.

> During his life on earth, Valentino had a terrible, toxic father. Very much machismo who abused him relentlessly for being queer. (Not that I want to make him sympathetic, I just think that evil people are often miserable before they become evil.) Because Val is very queer, not just "man occasionally fucking other men", he's always been loud and proud pansexual and gender non-conforming. He wasn't some kind of activist, very concerned about queer issues, he just refused to stay in the closet out of spite, and because it made men around him uncomfortable. He just enjoyed being perceived as a deviant. It was one of the things that eventually got him killed.

> Vox is like a hardcore sadist. He cuts people open just to feel powerful.

> During his life on Earth, Vox used to be extremely homophobic because his bisexuality was threatening to his masculinity. He's also the embodiment of toxic white masculinity from the 50's. He actually did some personal growth in Hell, eg. He gave up racism, homophobia, transphobia, and most other -phobias, and now he despites everyone rather equally. He just bullies women more because misogynistic violence is a low-hanging fruit.

> So with Velvette I had some fun because she manifested in Hell not so long ago and happened to be as powerful as other Vs, who had much more experience and souls collected. So I assumed she must be completely deranged. I came up with the idea that she used to be a toxic influencer who built a cult-like following around her. She weaponized it against multiple people, ruining lives, and manipulating kids into committing crimes or even suicides. Her methods are very fine, Vox and Val have nothing on her when it comes to cruelty.

> Velvette is not misogynistic per se but she despises weak women who can't fight for themselves. That's why other Vs behavior don't bother her, she doesn't feel threatened by their aggression.

> Angel Dust has BPD and an eating disorder. That's why he fell for Valentino so terribly, to trust him with his soul. He used to think that Valentino is the only person fucked up enough to truly love him as damaged as he'd been. (More hc about Val and Angel here). Actually Val has a very similar backstory to him - a queer, gender non-conforming man in a very masculine environment (I'm not sure how canonic is Angel working for the Italian Mafia at this point but I stick to it until proven otherwise).

Other headcanos about Vox and Val ❤️🩵

[ghostr0tz]

Thinking more about this.

I feel like Alastor is similar to Vox with his own delusions of his capabilities (Stares HARD at the Adam v Alastor fight) but probably didn't indulge Vox's TOO much and maybe even got to the point of discomfort of Vox's...

And i feel like Valentino indulges them completely and helps fuel the grandiose self perception, which is maybe why Vox absorbing Valentino and Velvette into it went smoother than when he did that with Alastor..

Hi! Hello, just another local Vox in the neighborhood that wanted to say he loved the disability. Headcanons, questions and thoughts on if Vox would suffer from either Cluster-B either BPD or NPD and/or Fibromyalgia. As a liver of both of these, they certainly suck, but they do add to my experience as a Vox. Also Gosh it sucks that side blogs can't ask questions. Thank you and have a good Day!

Hello!!! Thank you that means a lot that people like my silly headcanons.

I very much think Vox is cluster-b coded, but my original post was getting so long I felt too bad to add other things...... (rambles under the cut)

I said in the notes that I felt like Vox felt BPD coded but I can DEFINITELY see him having NPD as well.

He displays a lot of grandiosity and self-importance, making WALLS against his true self and his public image, or whatever kind of person he needs to be for any given scenario.

MASSIVE superiority complex. Hes got so much shit under HIS name. HIS products. HIS show. HIS company. Its all Vox.

I feel like that complex completely warps once Vox actually considers you as your own Person and not some sort of consumer to sell something to though...

I could see the break in Alastor and his relationship being a Bad Result of Vox absorbing Alastor into his grandiosity delusions and Alastor reacting badly to it. And maybe The Vee's being a Positive Result of the same thing.

Extremely fragile image of himself that is prone to fracturing with criticism. Vulnerable to those he cares about (good or bad) and takes things very personal easily as we see in Stayed Gone....

Very Copedendant to people he lets in

Hatred for Alastor being vocalized so much and so publicly due to his NPD self-importance and need for approval and attention. Unable to understand why nobody cares as much as he does about Alastor being back.

Under the lens of Vox having BPD it is so clear that Alastor was in the position of being his Favorite Person:

Vox mimicking Alastor in SEVERAL ways

Obsessing over him for years, and even their relationship break could very easily be seen as Vox splitting on Alastor? or at least to me

His immediate fixation on Alastor again once realizing hes just walking around....

I feel like Valentino and Vox fuel each other's BPD and Vox and Velvette both could have NPD together,,

His obsession over Alastor feel like a man who has yet to get over his favorite person........

Interesting to think about Alastor being his First person he obsessed over and depended on which is why hes such a touchy subject and so personal.

ALSO Vox with Fibromyalgia is VERY real and definitely can see it. Vox is some sort of chronic pain is very based i think. I just KNOWWW his legs are bad but so is literally all of his body and hes SOOOO tired of it but theres things and work to do.

I dont think hed let himself have a lot of Bad Days to nurse his pain too much unless its Genuinely unbearable or hes being physically pulled away from his desk.

Thank you for the ask i loved writing these!!

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Cluster B culture is:

Inside of me, there are 4 wolves coyotes:

The HPD urge to post a vent that you know will set people off publicly then turn off your notifs/take a nap/get deeply involved in some project

Vs the NPD urge to NOT do that because omg what if it ruins my reputation??? They can't know I have feelings!!!

Vs the BPD fact that everyone can tell I'm unwell, I'm short tempered, snappy, and I spend all day holed up in my room

Also the AsPD traits aren't doing anything but they're here too. Collected em like pokemon cards.

.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Npd + Bpd culture is being friends/associating with kind of morally questionable people and just not caring, because like in my brain anyone that wants to talk to me and interact with ME is my friend. idc if you're a criminal or whatever

and its hard, when people reach a point when i do cut them off (because i'll look bad if i associate with them); because depending on how close we were it feels like i'm ripping out a part of myself. and seeing the number of people who care about you decrease is never fun. its the conflict between: i can't talk to you anymore because you've crossed the line vs why couldn't you just have been better?, i don't want to cut you out because then i'll be even more alone.

.

[au-sonic-smackdown]

AU Sonic Smackdown - Round 1, Right Side

Click to see full size image

Infested AU belongs to @hejjhug

Sonic Thunderstorm AU belongs to @delightrolls

Read more about them under the cut!

Infested AU-

Sonic, under the influence of a mysterious alien brain parasite, has become unpredictable and very, very dangerous. While all his powers remain the same, he now uses his speed to maim and kill anyone who moves. Sonic’s mental state has devolved to basic instinct, and, thanks to the parasite, he is in a near-constant state of feeling like a wild animal trapped in a corner. As a result, he will call upon impossible strength, reserved only for life-or-death scenarios. Pray you don’t catch his attention. You can’t outrun the fastest thing alive.

Sonic Thunderstorm AU-

Sonic the Hedgehog is an Egyptian Long-Eared Hedgehog. Sonic has major Electrokinesis and major Aerokinesis and major Cháokinesis. Sonic is an aromantic quoiromantic asexual aegosexual intersex pangender bordergender narkissigender genderspeed hedgehog with ADHD, BPD, and NPD who uses any pronouns, including storm/storms, ⛈️/⛈️s, thunder/thunders, 🌩️/🌩️s, gale/gales, 🌀/🌀s, bree/breeze, and 🍃/🍃s pronouns. Sonic is a result of the Ultimate Lifeform Project specifically Project Kinesis, a search to cure aging, discover the genes responsible for Kinetic Abilities, and grant Mobian Kinetic Abilities to humans. Many Mobians with Kinetic Abilities were kidnapped and bred to have their abilities studied resulting in the birth of Sonic, their pink and green siblings, and many others. Around the age of 3 - 5 Sonic and well as their mother and two siblings escaped the lab only to drown in the ocean during their get away leaving Sonic as the sole survivor and with an intense fear of water. After being saved from drowning they were put the foster system where they were they were often bullied or excluded by the other children and past around from home to home sometimes being treated well but other times being abused their adoptive families and that combined with never having a stable home leads to them developing BPD. Around the age of 12 - 13 Sonic gets tired of feeling unloved by both the foster homes they lived at and by the people who adopted them only to later throw them away so Sonic decides to run away in the hopes of finding someone who will genuinely care about them. While struggling to survive on their own the hedgehog starts to encounter Eggman and quickly becomes a thorn in his side. Also while searching for a home they encounter Tails, a DID system who is being abused by their family and bullied due to being Autistic. Sonic, sympathetic to their new friend's suffering, encourages them to run away with them to find somewhere better to live. While on their quest for a happy home the two become known for stopping Eggman's evil deeds resulting a couple named Darron Bolos Segaleh and Ilaiya Gotzone Nailah coming to adopting the two. The relationship starts of sweet but in reality Darron really only cares about using to two as mascots for his company and isn't above mistreating and abusing his children when they do something that makes his company loses money or negatively impacts their image. Being treated like a prince when succeeding and as worthless after every mistake leads to Sonic developing NPD. After growing up Sonic eventually goes on to live in a house with a number of their friends including Tails and Sonic is able to finally start recovering from everything that happened to them although they find recovery incredibly difficult. Sonic is a sweet person but is very emotional unstable which can lead to them make mistakes or hurting themself.

[clusterrune]

narcissistic personality disorder

[narcissistic personality disorder]

npd resources

narc supply, / narc supply2, / highs vs crashes

another list, / list2, / term list, / npd carrd

6 keys for a recovering narc, / therapy for npd

can a narc change?

therapists guide on treatment

7 steps on response change, / recovery strategies

Narcissism and Abuse, / narcissism is not abuse, / why "narc abuse" is ableist

percieved vs expirienced symptoms

dificulty with diagnosis, / a plea against stigma, / npd&bpd healing, / faking is a choice, / response to assumptions, / its okay to give them attention, / bpd&npd splitting, / issue with search results, / respect is deserved, / a disorder is not an abuse tactic, / opinion response

ppl w/ npd vs ableists, / in other words

debunking myths, / disproven myths

diagnostics revised, / npd checklist, / criteria explained

how to support, / admiration and love, / helping someone with npd, / personal acceptance

trauma response

narcissus did not stare at his reflection .. for his name to be used in vain, / it did not start, nor will it end with npd

npd centerd youtube channel, / (wattpad)npd experience, / (quotev)npd traits quiz, / (quotev)are you a narc(1), / (quotev)are you a narc(2), / (quotev)poems, / (quotev)diary of a narc

compliment generator

the demonization of npd

an npd flag rentry supplied by .seraphim-system-official

additionally:

our book, understanding narcissism, holds all these link's content in plain text and more, / and we run clusterrune in instagram where we try to write our posts in plain text in the captions.

please let me know if any links fail to work or are douplicates.

i also accept people suggesting things to add

apologies for the lack of ids.

check back again later when we have more!