#bowser only has one child

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

The Koopalings Are Not Bowser's Children

So I realize I have not made a post addressing the Koopalings and their status, only ever referring to it in passing. So as we know the Koopalings in the manuals were called Bowser's Kids, and that this led to external media such as The Super Mario Adventures comic and Super Mario Bros. 3 show depicting him as his kids.

While this was the original intention this was retconned and the Koopalings went from being Bowser's kids to his commanders. In a Gameinfomer titled Mario's Creators Answer Burning Questions About The Series interview when asked "In Super Mario Bros. 3, the Koopalings were supposed to be Bowser's children. But there's also Bowser Jr. Are they all his kids, and are they all from different mothers? Is Bowser Jr. a Koopaling?" Miyamoto responded with the following "Our current story is that the seven Koopalings are not Bowser's children. Bowser's only child is Bowser Jr., and we do not know who the mother is."

While many people have come to the conclusion that they are still his kids and they are just adopted, this isn't accurate. First off the intent is that they aren't his kids anymore, and you are still someone's kid if you are adopted.

The next part is the simple fact that they are never called his kids in any newer media. On the official website for NSMBUD they are only referred to as "leaders of Bowser's Troops." In cards they aren't called his children either.

The Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia outside of lifted text from old manuals which the Encyclopedia even notes, the Koopalings are never called his kids.

There is also the fact in game they are never called his kids, nor any implication they are adopted.

There is also the fact that they are too old to be his kids, and could even be as old as Bowser if not close to his age. In Paper Mario: Color Splash Roy talks about attending night school or in other words he's in college. "I guess I'll just have to hope Lord Bowser can defeat you…" "Yeah, I know what irony is. BOOM. Knowledge is power, so I started going to night school."

There is the fact that the Koopalings only ever refer to Bowser by titles such as Lord Bowser and never father or stepdad, and they do the same for BJ calling him Lord Junior. They never talk about Jr being their brother, they talk about how he will be their boss one day, and they are even called his friends. "That punk will eventually be our boss!" "All right, Lord Junior.. We'll be facing off against Shy Guys in this next battle." "Well, he is Bowser's kid. There were bound to be some speed bumps." "They say that helicopter parenting doesn't work anyway. Just let 'em run wild!"

When Bowser asks them to watch over Junior they don't watch over him like older siblings, and even refer to it as being a form of parenting. They even directly refer to him as Bowser's Kid. There is also the fact Bowser beat up Iggy after making fun of Junior in front of Bowser. With all that being said, the Koopalings are not Bowser's kids but rather his underlings. Related Post There Might Have Been No Koopaling Retcon? Bowser Junior Is Bowser's Only Son

[clearnachopirate]

Terry and the batfam. Terry and the batfam. their dynamics have so much potential and i would LOVE to see it explored in any way at all

Terry and Dick: older brothers, trade stories of how they embarrass and get back at their younger brother(s), anger issue twins, "oh you were batman too??" "yeah, but its only bc one of my parents was murdered" "omg thats how i became robin no way"

Terry and Jason: the second most destructive duo, second only to terry and steph. not bc they fight or blow things up on patrol (thats tim and jasons thing) but bc anytime there a new gadget to try, terry will volunteer to use it, and jason will volunteer to 'spar' with terry to test it out. okay, maybe its bc they fight and blow stuff up, but its only ever in the batcave under supervision! "the tim from my dimension actually killed the joker" "no shit? did bruce stop me over there too?" "... about that--" sometimes they grab the others leather jacket by accident and both have given up on caring

Terry and Tim: terry "from the technological future" mcginnis and tim "designs loads of bat tech" drake talk shop, "my younger brother was made robin without my consent" club. tim listens to the works elcectro pop music ever and it just so happens to sound exactly like what they play at terrys favorite club. tim introduces him to (kon or bernard, take your pick) and they hit it off so well that they hang out without tim

Terry and Damian: ace the dog. terry invited damian to his AC island. both are bruce's bio kids and mamas boys. damian calling him "Terrance" and terry never recovering from it. terry knows damian from the future, kind of, and uses that knowledge to his advantage EVERY DAY

Terry and Duke: team "everyone thinks we're the normal one, they are wrong" they totally do movie marathons you cant tell me otherwise, their favorite thing to do is make bets abt the rest of the fam w cass. they never win against her. on any given day you can find them whispering about everyone else "duke, why the fuck were damian and tim staring each other down over breakfast" "hes mad dick said he can't poison him again" "what" "i know i thought they were over it by now"

Terry and Cass: cass sees him for the first time and sees that he rivals tim and dick in terms of being a mess and is determined to bond. terry hears about what she was trained for as a child and shrugs bc "i was supposed to be a second bruce, things change" cass will make him give her piggybacks when shes tired and terry has never dropped her

Terry and Stephanie: the most destructive duo. something happens to their braincells when they patrol together, buildings fall, bones break, civilians are crying, theres about ten minutes where everyone else thinks theyre both dead. they both are waiting at the cave for the others, terry is teching her how to make really shitty friendship bracelets (dana taught him, and stephanie is pretending she doesnt know how). they dont know why everyone else is so stressed "i texted you that we were fine, old man. steph and i just ran into black masks trafficing ring and took care of it-- why is dick crying?"

ALL of them have asked about the future before and the ONLY thing he ever reveals is out of context sayings and trends "yeah actually luigi and bowser have so much chemistry, well, i guess that movie isnt out yet huh" "???" (they think luigi and bowser are a cononical couple in the future and wonder where the world went so wrong) and (while interrogating smon) "watch out, you're not acting like the sigma you are, batman, try rizzing 'im up, then he'll talk."

him and bart meet (everyone tried to keep in from happening) and theyre from similar enough futures that when they talk, not a single person around them can follow it, they teach each other the different versions of different tik tok dances and terry goes back to the manor and teches them to steph, cass sees them do it once and has them memorized, duke thought it was funny, dick thought it was adorable (eventually they ALL know them, and it becomes an inside joke) tims prized possession is a video he got of damian doing the most dispassionate renegade the world has ever seen bc jon asked and he cant say no to him)

TL;DR:

terry mcginnis interacting w the other bat kids has a lot of potential for chaos and family bonding

[batneko]

last night as I was trying to fall asleep my brain gave me a story about Bowser as an imprisoned dragongod who is worshiped but enslaved, kept in a cave where he can't do anything but watch the outside world. He can tell the worshipers what to do (within reason) because his powers are so useful to them that they know if he ever gets angry or miserable enough to off himself they'll all be screwed. They have a LOT of enemies, who all assume that the god is their willing ally, and would be more than happy to crush them the moment they have the chance.

the closest thing to affection Bowser ever had was the woman who decided to bear his child. He genuinely believed she wanted to be the bride of a god, but the moment she was sure she was pregnant she left without even looking back.

years later, when he's told himself he doesn't care anymore (he obviously very much still cares), he sees a beautiful sweet princess and decides he wants her. He orders his "minions" to capture her and present her to him as a... permanent guest. He doesn't think she'll like being a prisoner, of course. HE sure doesn't. But he's stuck down here with no hope of escape, ever, and he can at least make her stay very comfortable. She's a princess, she must be used to being in a gilded cage.

though he knows that the princess has protectors, and they've made things difficult for his followers over the last couple years, he never gives them much thought. Bowser never imagines that they'd be so determined to protect the princess from him that one of them would disguise himself as the princess and willingly get "sacrificed" to the inescapable dragon cave.

(this was briefly brought up as a potential plan by the brothers, but discarded immediately because they don't want anybody to have to be stuck with a dragon forever, especially not each other. But then they got separated and Luigi was the only one left to protect Peach and they were captured and there was no time to spare and... it was the only thing he could think of.)

Bowser is furious, of course, but what he really wanted was companionship. If this random guy is who he's got, it's who he's got. And the random guy is weirdly optimistic about this whole thing, although he's scared of Bowser he never once stops believing that his brother will be coming to save him. No matter how much Bowser explains that not even a god can get out of this hole, Luigi insists that it's only a matter of time. His brother will come for him.

(he does, of course, freeing both of them.)

And that was as far as I got! I probably won't ever write it because it's too dramatic and also absolves Bowser of most responsibility for the evil done in his name. I like Bowser as a villain who really isn't justified in what he does. That's where the spice is! 🌶

But it's fun to think about Luigi being his usual nice guy self around someone who isn't used to being treated like a person, on multiple levels.

[eggcats]

We need a Bowuigi (or Bowsario if that's more your jam) fic where it's revealed that Mario and Luigi kind of take it easy when fighting Bowser (and ESPECIALLY his kids, they would never hurt a child) because at the heart of it Bowser is like a Sunday morning cartoon villian and these 2 dudes from Brooklyn, who know what Real evil looks like, know this

Except Bowser legitimately thinks that's as tough as they are, and so BOWSER makes sure to not actually hurt them because of the "significant difference in their strength," and while he doesn't intentionally lose, he also doesn't intentionally go full strength to actually cause lasting damage to the bros

And then one day a REAL villain appears, who like decides to not only attack and attempt to kill Bowser, but also his children (perhaps as a vigilante "hero" to stop Bowser's "violence" for extra drama)

(maybe a scene where one of the bros tries to talk to this villain (maybe because they originally teamed up with them since they were a hero, except suddenly they're taking everything too far) -

something like "THAT'S A CHILD!??" "a KOOPA child!!!")

And then suddenly, neither Luigi nor Mario are holding back when fighting, and Bowser has a sudden revelation that he wasn't the only one holding back in their fights (imagine the scene in atla when Zuko discovers Katara can bloodbend)

(If you want real drama, one of the bros straight up murks the guy because attacking children is a significant step way too far)

And Bowser is like "?????why did you help me I'm Evil I kidnap Peaches all the time???" And they're like "oh yes, so Evil kidnapping her on a schedule so it doesn't interrupt her work and then never even doing anything to hurt or touch her, sure Mister Bad Guy uh-huh" and Bowser is like "oh."

Anyway Bowser gets a new crush watching (whichever bro you want this fic to be) kick ass and help him/protect his children, and maybe they even coordinate fighting together extremely well because they've known each other for so long they know how they fight and move

[janmisali]

Koopaling Bracket - ROUND 3

time for the final round, already?

coming from the Left Bracket, we have Iggy "Hop" Koopa, known for his history of causing problems in Giant Land, Yoshi's Island, and Soda Jungle. he's got dorky glasses and inconsistently green hair, and most importantly for tumblr, he has his own weekly celebration! truly a force to be reckoned with in this tournament.

and the champion of the Right Bracket, we have Bowser Koopa Junior, the child of Bowser Koopa and Shigeru Miyamoto. the most recently introduced of the Koopalings, Junior's roles in his games tend to be very prominent, always eager to assist his father at whatever weird scheme he's cooked up this year.

two (quasi-canonically) brothers, each with their own dedicated fanbases rooting for them, and each with three not-quite-as-popular Koopalings behind them. but only one can be declared the Best Koopaling!

[year2000electronics]

Did Mario know about the rumors of the Dark Star Child? If yes, what exactly did he know?

What exactly was that one alternate timeline with Luigi on Bowser's side like? And what had happened to its version of Mario?

Has Antasma ever used his vampire transformation powers (in the main timeline)? And what exactly does that whole process entail?

What happens if any of the Star Children are seperated from their jems?

Does Luigi's Dark Star necklace act funky after the prophecy was foiled, with all that forbidden power but its assigned cause being no more?

EXCELLENT QUESTIONS! answers going under the cut because they got long

so both light and dark prognosticus are kept very secret in the FOTS world, obviously, but seeing as the dark prognosticus is ACTUALLY dangerous, it's far-better kept, so the prophecies of the light prognosticus enter the cultural consciousness much easier, so the stories of the four star children get spread far and wide, and in contrast, the far more secretive dark prognosticus gets seen as "not canonical" or just "old wives' tales"- so for a lot of people, the idea of the dark star child ALONE is ridiculous (it'd kinda be like if you talked to two different, i dont know, christians, and one says the book of revelations is about a hypothetical end, and the other says the rapture is happening Tomorow)

and even then, people who DO believe in the dark star child usually go "well it's probably that furious monster king they mention. he sounds scary"

it's the same for mario, because as much as i love to focus on Luigi's Issues, taking a step back into mario and luigi's ENTIRE life- yknow from birth to present- here's pretty much what it looks like, right

the purple tallies are every "foreshadowing moment" i've put in the timeline, so there's yoshi's island, where the only person who saw that foreshadowing is kamek, and then dream team, where antasma says he sees something dark in luigi, brothership, which i won't get fully into because spoilers, and finally, what i've been lovingly referring to as "the train wreck"- where a bunch of grand reveals all happen near the tail-end.

so for mario, it never even occurred to him! he's lived with this guy for at least 20 years with no incidents up until now! the heck is going on??

as for the alt timeline, i imagined it would be a very similar sort of situation to mlp season 5's finale where the gang travels through a bunch of different super-crazy timelines and you get just enough info to understand what's going on, but you can't stay for long because THERE'S THINGS AT STAKE!!

BUT this specific timeline has luigi being raised by kamek as one of his own, so it's bowser and luigi who end up being The Brothers instead of mario and luigi! mario ends up fine, of course, he just needs to work twice as hard to get stuff done. maybe peach teams up with him instead of getting kidnapped? much to think about. in a hypothetical where this was the real timeline, mario would have to convince both bowser and luigi to go along with him to do SPM lol, what a headache

i did a few sketches of some hypothetical alternate timelines- flashy, conveys what it is quick, and then POOF! its gone

as for antasma, i actually had the idea a while back that maybe he slowly starts turning everyone on pi'illo island into his army, so the more you clear the story, the darker the island gets- but that kinda happens with brothership and the glohmed concordians so i might have to scrap that

but yknow, in bowser's early appearances, he's portrayed as this blue-pale colour, and he also is rocking this really cool cape- and seeing as antasma is using bowser for his own plans in a parasitic way, i think it would actually be super cool for bowser to be a vampire for most of dream team

i think antasma would be the only one who could CAUSE nightmares/fear but anyone turned into a vampire by him would have to suck all the rest/good dreams out of people, so youre left super exhausted and when you go to bed you'll either have no dreams at all or have freaky nightmares

the necklaces have a special connection to the star children! i'm sure youve seen those 'cursed object' or 'magical object' stories where the object will just spawn back somewhere if it's lost. that's good for the star children! their artifacts aren't Artifacts Of Power or anything, moreso just yknow, charms of protection, of good luck, stuff like that. it's a representation of the star spirits' blessing. so a lot of it is just 'these things have sentimental value to these crazy kids'

but of course, they'll come back even if the star children don't want them to at the moment...

and after the fact, luigi's necklace is... wait for it... perfectly normal! it's no longer hidden, but it's not like it's some big scary macguffin, either. it symbolizes that the star children have broken free from the chains of "fate" and "destiny"- how they can choose who they wanna be now. and luigi chooses to be a normal guy!

thanks for your questions!!

[unhetalia]

"A Love Without A Name"

Word Count: 3,408.

Rating: Mature

Summary: Alfred's freedom hinges on his ability to guess a magical creature's name. He doesn't take the task very seriously.

Notes: Written for @usukweek Day 1 - Fairy Tale AU. Because I was late to starting, this fic is current unedited - I'll post it on AO3 once I've cleaned it up.

***

“So… do you know what my name is, darling?” England asks, his expression is mild as if he were out on a midday stroll, as opposed to fucking his hips in and out of Alfred’s willing body.

In contrast, Alfred lies beneath him gasping out his pleasure. His nails are clawing at England’s back, desperately trying to pull him closer. His heaving gasps are England’s only answer.

England has asked him this same question every day for a hundred years; Alfred hasn’t bothered answering in fifty. 

***

There is a story about a beautiful maiden who made a deal with a Creature. Her first born child for all the riches in the world. The beautiful maiden had no plans to marry or have children and believed she was tricking the creature, but it wasn’t even two years later that she fell in love and became pregnant. Eventually, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

The story goes that when the creature came for her son, the woman was prepared. Cunning in her own way, and unwilling to let the creature get the upper hand again, she convinced the creature to make a bet. I bet you that I can guess your name, creature, she crowed.

The creature disagreed, and was so sure she would never know his name that he agreed that if she was able guess it, he would renege his claim on her son and let him stay with her.

What the creature hadn’t realised was that the woman had known his name all along, though at first she had pretended to guess a variety of incorrect names. Is it Frederick? Or John? Blake? Bud? Bowser?

Eventually, though, she said, I think I know your name, Creature and said his secret name, and the creature wailed and screamed but had no choice but to leave the woman and her baby alone.

And of course, the woman lived happily ever after, and her son grew up healthy and strong, and they never saw the creature again.

Or so the story goes.

***

Alfred is newly eighteen when England comes for him. He is walking home from work - a small school with only eight students where he teaches basic reading and arithmetic - when he notices a horse drawn carriage beside him. It’s odd, because he’s pretty sure that the carriage wasn’t there a second ago. I must be really tired, he thinks.

A man steps out of the carriage, and the first thing Alfred notices is that the man is exceptionally handsome, with messy light blonde hair, striking green eyes, and even more striking eyebrows.

The second thing he notices is that the man must also be exceptionally wealthy. He’s dressed in the way of aristocracy, wearing a dark suit and white gloves that would surely be stained in any other occupation than ‘sitting around and being rich’. 

Alfred instinctively smiles at him, even though his mother had always warned him about doing such a thing. The man smiles back and says, hello, Alfred.

Which -

“How do you know my name?” he asks. He is suddenly alert, because his mother has spent years warning him of many things, to the point that Alfred doesn’t quite remember what all the warnings were, only that strangers knowing his name must be one of them.

The man keeps smiling, and steps closer. Alfred tries to step back, but finds that he can’t.

“I know your name because you’re mine,” the man says.

And then Alfred’s world goes black.

***

Alfred is England’s because the stories are wrong, and the creature - call me England, creature gets a bit tiring, don’t you think? - and the fair maiden never made a deal for riches, and she never knew his real name.

Instead, the true story is still about a beautiful maiden, but this one gets pregnant out of wedlock. The father is a noble already engaged, who would never leave his comfortable life for a kitchen maid. The maiden was fine with this, and fine with raising her child on her own, because she had loved them as soon as she knew they existed.

Everything was going perfectly fine, until the day she started bleeding and bleeding, and she knew that if it didn’t stop, she and her baby would both die.

This is when England comes in. He doesn’t know how she knew about him - only that one day a woman summons him in order to bargain for the life of her child. 

I have a sister who will care for them, and so I can die. But please, let my child live.

Young maiden, you are not destined to die today, England had said. Only your child.

The young maiden was not happy with his answer. 

Let me die instead, she begged. 

That’s not the way it works. No single life is the same, and so no life can be traded for another. He paused. But I can make you a deal. It comes with a guarantee - eighteen years with your child. - a son, by the way. If you win, you get his full life. If you lose, he will be mine after his eighteenth birthday. I will treat him like one of my Court, and he will be safe, but you will never see him again.

Desperate, the maiden agreed readily, though she made him repeat his promise to take care of her son - a son, she was having a son.

If you figure out my name, maiden, he is yours. If you do not, he is mine.

***

Alfred’s mother had been obsessed with names when he was younger, he remembers. She had pieces of paper all around their little cottage, filled with names from books and stolen from travellers who passed through. Jeremiah and Josiah. Kallen and Maurice. 

A real name, though, is made of more than one name, but of multiple stuck together. One does not guess anyone’s true name.

His mother’s obsession had petered out when he'd turned seven or so. Instead, she had made herself fully available for Alfred. They weren’t wealthy, but she was a doting, loving mother. She taught him to cook, and bake, and clean. Most importantly, she taught him to read and write - a luxury not afforded to many in their village.

He knows now that the disappearance of her interest had come with the realisation that one cannot guess a name. Instead, she had decided to make every second with her son count.

England offers Alfred the same deal. Of course, if you figure out my name, you can leave and go back to your mother and your job and your small life. Until then, you are mine.

***

Is your name Dylan Parkinson?

No, Alfred. That is not my name.

***

England’s aristocracy is a facade. He dresses well, and the one room they stay in inside the giant castle he takes him to is furnished well enough, but when Alfred explores the rest of the castle, he finds it dilapidated and dirty, empty of anything that makes it a home. 

The one livable room has a giant, four-poster bed shoved in one corner, with a cot laid out at the foot of it meant for Alfred. The cot isn’t nice, especially not compared to England’s bed, but to Alfred, it;s better than the scratchy collection of hay and linen he was used to back home.

England doesn’t seem to actually want to do anything with him. Mostly he sits around while the man goes through paperwork. Paperwork for what, he doesn’t know. Was there some kind of Creature bureaucracy?

Alfred tries to escape a total of one time, wherein he twitched slightly with intention and England said don’t even think about it, then put him to sleep for an hour. It doesn’t seem worth it to try again.

“What am I even here for if I’m just gonna sit here and watch you stare at pieces of paper?” he complains. 

“Look,” England sighs. “Unfortunately I don’t actually have a use for you yet. Maybe a spell will require a human sacrifice at some point, then you’d be handy, but as of right now just. Sit still.”

Alfred carefully ignores the mention of human sacrific and stands up, hands on his hips. “How about I clean your house and like, cook for you and stuff? You eat, right? Sitting still is impossible for me - my mum used to say I needed to be walked like a dog.”

England waves him off. “Yes, do that, if you want. Just remember that I’ll know if you try to escape and that I can’t be poisoned.”

Alfred, who had never even considered poisoning another huma - err, living being, balks at the statement. “What the - I don’t posion food! That’s sacrilege! And just you watch, this castle is going to look amazing!”

He doesn’t think England really cares what he does as long as he’s not constantly hovering and bothering him, so Alfred decides it’s perfectly alright for him to make all the decisions regarding what to do with the rest of the non-England occupied castle.

He needs to take whatever freedom he can get, after all. 

***

Is your name Aaron Baker?

No, Alfred, my name is not Aaron Baker.

***

Alfred knows he’s a good cook. His mama was a kitchen maid for royals, and she’d taught him everything she knew. Still, the awed look on England’s face when he tries Alfred’s stew is worth more than every compliment the villagers had given him over the years. This is a being of magic, and yet he still looked at something Alfred created as if it was out of this world.

“Maybe I won’t use you for human sacrifice,” England says, two bowls later. Alfred takes it for the compliment it is, and grins back at him.

***

He doesn’t know when or how it starts, but Alfred starts eating with England. Then, he starts talking with him. He asks questions about what England does when he’s not making deals with desperate women, and finds out that there is Creature bureaucracy, and that England somehow leads it.

“Wait, you’re the King? Why are you living in an abandoned castle?”

“Our royalty do not work in the same way yours does. I must always be alone, except for my intended and my Court. The Court is made up of … well, individuals that I own. Since I prefer not to do that whole ownership thing - well, before your blasted mother wrangled a deal out of me - here we are.”

“And what, you don’t have enough juice to spruce up the castle by yourself?” Alfred asks, incredulous. A castle didn’t seem like much compared to bringing a dying unborn baby back to life. 

“There are … rules. Strange hospitality rules. It’s very stupid and not worth explaining. That is to say, I can not use magic on a home, even if it’s mine.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Quite.”

***

Is your name Rumpelstiltskin?

Rumpel - what? What kind of name is that? No, that’s not my name!

I saw it in a book and thought it’d be good to try it!

***

It takes three years for Alfred to complete the castle renovation to his exacting standards. Every day, England asks him if he’s figured out his name, and Alfred takes a guess. A lot of the time, they’re names of people he once knew, though sometimes they’re names he reads from books in the large library he’d found on the fifth floor (of eight, which is honestly just excessive, no one can blame Alfred for taking three years to finish everything). Mostly Alfred doesn’t put as much effort into it as he should. If his mother couldn’t do it, there’s no way he can. 

The day he finishes, he barges into his and England’s shared room to demand he see the fruits of Alfred’s labour, since he knows England would never see any of it otherwise. When he needs to leave, England just pops out of existence and to where he needs to be, no need to take the door. He hasn’t seen a lick of the work Alfred’s been doing.

Honestly, Alfred expects England to hum and feign disinterest. Well, you’ve certainly kept yourself occupied, he’ll say. Now we need to find you another hobby so you don’t bother me while I’m trying to work

That’s not what happens. England sees the clean floors and walls and the furniture Alfred had either built himself or bought from the nearby village (with money from the part-time teaching job he’d gotten himself, because England truly did not care what he did as long as he came back at the end of the day), and whispers you’ve built me a home, then turns around and shoves him against the nearest wall in order to kiss him senseless.

***

Apparently those dumb ‘can’t use your magic to build your own home’ rules are due to courtship rituals. Alfred still has no idea what exactly those rituals are, because how exactly is he supposed to remember anything when England is biting at the junction between his neck and shoulder just enough for it to hurt so good?

***

“Uh, Beef Stew.”

“You think my name is Beef Stew?”

“What? No, I’m thinking about what to make for dinner.”

***

Five years after the day England ravished him against the wall of their newly renovated castle, Alfred realises he hasn’t aged.

“My darling, I despair for you,” England admonishes. “How could you not notice you haven’t aged? It’s been eight years!”

“Wh - I’ve been busy!” I’ve been getting fucked silly every night, I’ll have you know, he carefully doesn’t say. England is too smug already.

“Well,” England begins. “Technically, I own you, so you’re tied to my life force. And because I’m immortal, well… I’m sure you can extrapolate.”

“Oh.” Alfred takes a moment to think. “So if you didn’t own me, I’d be mortal again.”

“Yes, you wouldn’t be part of the Court, then.”

And then England would be alone again, doing magical paperwork in the same room. He wonders if the castle would fall into disrepair again, without Alfred around to clean or to repair anything that breaks?

“Huh.”

***

Alfred finds England’s name by accident. 

The fifth floor library is one of his favourite places, and often he takes a few books to the school to read to the children. Quite a few of the villagers stop by to listen to the stories alongside the children, and there’s been talk of doing night classes for any of the older folks who want to learn to read themselves.

One day he finds a book that looks a lot older than the others. It’s made of brown, aged leather , and has a strange, gold symbol embedded on it that somehow looks like an infinite amount of intertwining circles. When he opens it, the first page proclaims it to be the property of Prince Arthur James Kirkland. It’s a child’s diary, though the contents are confusing, as if the child was writing about fantasies as opposed to any real places or events. Maybe Prince Arthur was never actually a prince, but a boy with a vivid imagination?

He decides to take the book to the school to show one of the other teachers, a woman by the name of Agnes who loves all things fantasy. Except when he tries to show her, she only looks confused and asks Alfred why he’s trying to show her an empty book.

He realises later what it means, and who the book must belong to. A magical book, in a castle owned by the King of Creatures, who must have once been a prince, a long time ago.

This is England’s, whose name is Arthur. This diary was a record of his childhood, before he was an all powerful king.

Alfred has found out England’s name, but finds he’s more interested in reading stories of what he was like as a precocious child, running away from nannies and scaring mortals against his mother’s orders.

***

When England - Arthur James Kirkland - asks him to guess his name that night, Alfred says, “Cinnamon Buns.”

***

England’s wrung all the pleasure from Alfred’s body that it can handle, and then some. Their last round had started with England on top, but eventually he’d maneuvered Alfred on top of his cock and made him ride him until he’d cried, cock unable to come with England’s magic wrapped tightly around it. Eventually, England had sat up and licked into Alfred’s mouth so he could swallow his lover’s cries as he undid the spell and finally, finally let Alfred finish. 

Now, Alfred’s arms are wrapped loosely around his neck, Alfred’s head laying on his shoulder. England lays him on the bed like a child, kissing his eyes, his nose, his lax mouth.

When Alfred is comfortable, England slides in beside him, chuckling when the other man immediately scoots closer in order to rest his head on his chest. Alfred’s clinginess after sex is a given; routine in the same way The Question is.

The thought makes England frown. He looks down at Alfred’s blonde head, and asks a question he’s been wanting to ask for ninety years.

“Are you ever going to answer with my real name?”

He feels Alfred tense against him. “What are you talking about?”

“About ninety years ago, I left my journal in the library for you to find,” England admits. “I wanted to give you the chance to go back to your village, see your mother again. But that night, when I asked you, you gave me a joke answer. And every day for the next forty years you never once gave the correct one - then eventually stopped even bothering to answer. I have to admit, I - I don’t understand.”

Alfred turns to look up at him, and to his surprise, he’s grinning. “Have I managed to stump The King of The Fae? Why, I think I should be proud of myself for such a feat.”

Alfred presses a kiss to England’s chin. “It’s simple, really, and you’d think that after what we’d just done you’d get it.”

His voice lowers to a whisper. “I’d already decided by then that I quite liked being owned by you.”

[fallen-mario-bros-au]

Aight just a warning I'm pretty new to Tumblr and I'm DEFINITELY new to making AUs so I'm pretty nervous to post anything here but I figured I'd just rip the band-aid off.

FIRST POST HYPE!! :D

Anyways I love Mario and I love Undertale and I NEEDED TO COMBINE THEM LEGALLY so I decided to make an au about it! Dunno if I'm actually going to do anything serious with this, I mostly just want to imagine cute shenanigans with my favorite characters and whatnot, but who knows? Maybe I'll actually try to give this a proper plot

So here's the basic info:

- Mario and Luigi, in the midst of trying to chase down Bowser, who has just kidnapped the princess again, somehow wind up far away from the Mushroom Kingdom and on Mt. Ebott. Where, of course, they fall into the underground.

- All the monsters are pretty much their canon counterparts (at least, my best interpretation of them 💀)

- Mario ends up discovering he has the power to reset/load/save/etc, but Luigi does not. This is because Mario has the most determination to get out of here and save the princess

- Toriel isn't quite as overprotective of them as she would be if they were a literal child like Frisk, but she is still very motherly towards them because it's just kinda who she is. She would probably be concerned about them potentially attacking the monsters so she might make them promise not to hurt anyone. I still don't think she would want them to leave because Asgore would take their souls

- Honestly mostly this is just an excuse for the Mario Bros and the Skelebros to hang out XD

- the thing that is really interesting is that Mario and Luigi are not 1, but 2 humans, which means only one of their souls would be needed to break the barrier. This ends up becoming a real issue but I could see it being resolved in a few ways.

1. one of the bros self sacrifices so the underground goes free (much to the dismay of the other, and also my heart would break haha)

2. They decide to just stay in the underground instead of going home (but they would be pretty sad about it because oh no their kingdom is still in danger

3. ??? IDK tbh

- Since Mario can load saves, he's just constantly in this angsty cycle of trying to keep his bro from getting killed off ;;

- Not sure if Mario could keep the resets secret for long since Flowey would taunt them about it, but he definitely would be pretty closed off about it, especially to Luigi. He does NOT want Luigi to know about the horrible things he's seen

-ofc cut to Luigi being confused as heck as to why Mario seems to already know what's going to happen.

- they have cute sweaters because I said so

- not sure how omega fight would work, but either way Mario would have to fight to save both of them (probably all by himself :c)

- I want them to eventually do true pacifist but IDK how it would work so I'm not gonna think about it too hard rn

- Mario and Undyne having a friendly rivalry about who's the most heroic

- sans trying to convince them they could just stay in the underground and they're like "no we have to save the tiny mushroom people" and he's like "ur just like my bro fr"

- monster speculation about the purpose of mustaches

- It would be kinda funny if they had the firebrand and thunderhand since... Like... Humans aren't supposed to be able to do magic

- "are you sure you're humans? You're so small"

- *confused Italian noises*

Also here's some assorted doodles (I know the quality sucks 😭)

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Clawdia Koopa

Debut: Super Mario Bros.

If you’ve ever tried to take a closer look at the Mario series lore, you’ll realize one thing… it is not very consistent! Mario games are filled with little discrepancies, and of course, plenty of obscure and forgotten characters were practically retconned by the series! And of these, who has suffered a worse fate than Clawdia Koopa?

If you were a gaming fan during the 80s and 90s, you will surely remember Clawdia Koopa, the beloved and female wife of the fearsome King Koopa! She may not have shown up much, but her impact on the Mario world was felt everywhere!

Who could forget making it all the way to the end of the NES game, squaring off against the frightening Bowser himself… only to find out, he was even more scared of his wife than you were of him! As the king of the Koopas cowers before his nagging old ball & chain, Mario, who is in no committed relationship, is able to jump over their heads and grab the ax, sending them both plummeting into lava!

Though their relationship may have had a rocky start, it seems the two were still able to settle down and start a family. Just take a look at this letter Bowser sends you in Super Mario Bros. 3!

Yup, this game introduced the Koopalings, and as Nintendo made very clear, Clawdia was their mother! Not only did the game manual reiterate this fact, it also included some pretty detailed pictures of Clawdia in labor, giving birth to each of the seven! They’re a bit too graphic to reproduce here, but it’s awesome they went that far to flesh out the worldbuilding!

So, if Bowser was married, why did he keep kidnapping Princess Peach? Maybe their marriage wasn’t actually going that great? You see, if you were to 100% Super Mario World twice over, you would actually get to see a secret message written by Bowser:

It’s pretty heavy stuff, and Nintendo hid this message for only the most dedicated of Mario fans! And sure enough, things would only go downhill from here… In Hotel Mario, Bowser would build seven Koopa Hotels just to stay away from his wife, and Clawdia hasn’t been seen in any games since… All the fans who never got this message were pretty confused, wondering where Clawdia Koopa had gone… and they were even more confused with the release of Super Mario Sunshine!

This game introduced Bowser Jr., and he was supposed to be Bowser’s new child! Not only were the Koopalings not mentioned at all, but Clawdia was nowhere to be found, either! Instead, Bowser Jr. kept referring to Peach as his ‘mama’, but she turns out to not be his mother either! What’s going on? If Clawdia and Bowser really did get divorced, then where did Bowser Jr. come from?

Things got even worse when Shigeru Miyamoto was interviewed in 2012, saying “Our current story is that the seven Koopalings are not Bowser's children. Bowser's only child is Bowser Jr., and we do not know who the mother is.” When asked about Clawdia Koopa, Miyamoto ended the interview abruptly. So what’s going on here? Is there some sort of conspiracy to cover up Clawdia Koopa? Who would benefit from this, and why?

Well, it turns out the real culprit may have been right in front of us all along! Bowser actually DID remarry, and the mother of Bowser Jr. is none other than Miyamoto himself! After becoming Bowser’s wife, Miyamoto became jealous of Bowser’s ex-wife, suspecting he still had feelings for her. So Miyamoto went and changed the official story, acting like the Koopalings were never Bowser’s kids to begin with! It was quite a petty move on his part, but since Mario canon is in his hands, there was nothing we could do to stop him…

Clawdia may be gone, but I won’t let this revisionist view of history take place! Most Mario fans today have never even heard of Clawdia Koopa, and that’s sad… But I’m not afraid to say her name! This International Women’s Day, I will be changing my full legal name to Clawdia Koopa in her memory, and I hope anyone who stands with me will do the same! After all, if we let Miyamoto get away with this, who knows what he will do next? He might even try to sully the name of Morton Koopa Sr.!

[childofsardior]

How is everybody doing?!

(And, if they know this is an ask blog for the time being, how do they all feel about it?)

Thank you for asking! (This is the first ask on this blog EVER!)

First of all, no, they do not know abt the askbox thing. Let's pretend a tiny Child of Sardior is currently spying on them to report the best answers possible ;P

Now let's talk about the Royal Koopa Family! They are doing well!

Currently, they are on a vacantion on Isle Delfino! King Bowser decided it was the right time for a break - considering it was getting too hot even on his Dark Lands - and literally grabbed his children, Kamek and a bunch of loyal personal guards and went to the Isle. They are currently staying at Bowser's private Hotel, Sunshine Resort, located on Sirena Beach - the Hotels and Resorts area of the island.

Except made for the troop of guards, that are currently "at work", everybody is relaxing or trying to do so.

Bowser first. No royal burocracy, no responsabilities for a while - he left a council of his most loyal generals and counselors at his main castle - and he can finally chill under the beach umbrella reading the News, eating out in fancy restaurants all around Delfino and sleepng sweet dreams without thinking about the Human Plumbers or conquest plans and so on for a while. To be sure none will disturb his weeks off, he decided to rent a whole piece of beach only for his family. Is it even legal? The King of the Koopa doesn't care.

Then we have Kamek, who is unfortunately the one that can't really relax for real: being one of the main caretaker of the little Prince Bowser Jr. - but also of the others, even if the older ones are actively trying to ignore this fact - he needs to keep an eye on the small Dragon-Turtle even when at the beach or visiting the various cities. Still, our old Magikoopa is still grateful to be able to sleep 8-hours with the air-conditioning of the Resort.

Now, the kids! (Ludwig and Roy would eat me alive for calling them "kids")

Ludwig is chilling. Like, he decided that "chilling" would be his whole purpose of this vacantion. Being normally nervous and easily irritated at the castle and around his siblings, this time our young multifaceted artist is imposing upon himself to only do things he feels to, and not, like always, all the tasks that he MUST do. He's basically spending these days under the umbrella, talking to his gf on his phone, going out at night with Wendy and Roy when they want to visit the local markets near the beach, playing his favorite violin in his room when outside is too hot and so on. Chillin', yknow?

Lemmy, on the other hand, is enjoying his staying and suffering at the same time for the extreme humid temperature. Probably at the main castle the temperature was way hotter, but Lemmy can't really stand humidity, and summer season in general. But he likes to go swimming, playing pranks on tourists with Iggy and trying every type of ice creams he can find - and Larry and Morton will happily help him finish the ones his belly can't take anymore, since Lemmy tends to buy way more food than he can actually eat. He also loves the fancy restaurants Bowser is taking them every two days, especially since he only packed cool and elegan outfits in his bag, maybe trying to forget about how hot it was. Oh, and he also LOVES Pinna Park, especially the Yoshi Go-Round and the Rollercoaster, and has started to bring there Junior with him to have an official excuse to ride the rides for kids.

Roy brought his motorbike with him, even just to complete his "bad boy appearance". He's actually the one driving his siblings around the Isle when they don't feel to take the public transports - busses are REALLY crowded in this time of the year and... some of the royal brats feel too royal and "superior" to take them anyway, right Lud and Wendy? Except for that, he's mostly competing with Wendy in swimming races, going around at night to find some disco open to teens, and collecting shades at the various markets for his evergrowing sunglasses collection. And he's the one with Morton that is suffering less for the heat, due his constitution and the fact that he's used to the desert heat.

Iggy feels at home with all this humidity filling the hair, but the aggressive reflection from the sun forced him to work on a special shades-version of his already customized spectacles before embargin on the conquest of this vacantion. He also made them star shaped because *fancy*. He also tried to cover himself with all the garlands of flowers he could find at the markets in their first day, and instantly bought the biggest hat he saw for sale. He has his own idea of fancy. His chilling-and-pranking times alternate with researches on the local flora and fauna - if Iggy disappears during the afternoon, don't worry, he probably went studying fishes and birds and monsters and trees and flowers only found on the Isle Delfino. He also brought his pet Charlie the Chain-Chomp with him, to the *delight* of the other guests of the Sunshine Resort.

Wendy is living her best life. She loves going on vacantions and she especially loves to go shopping on vacantions. Her favorite places are the markets all around the seaside cities along with the world-famous Coconut Mall, and she's already ordering enough summer clothes and new forniture to renovate and redecorate her own bedroom at Bowser's Castle. But she's a very good swimmer and loves the sea, and she's very excited to go swimming in something that is not a super hot pool inside the castle or at the ash-gray beaches and tumultuous sea of the Dark Lands. She's also updating her followers on Koopagram almost everyday, especially is she finds something pretty or cool to take a photo with - a beautiful monument, a fancy ice cream, an unsuspecting well-dressed tourist...

Morton is quite content for the break. Even if his older siblings are taking a bit of advantage of him - for example, always asking him to carry their luggage - he doesn't really mind. He knows he's going to spend these weeks with Larry and Junior mostly, helping Kamek keeping an eye on them on one hand and having fun with them on the other hand - eating at the weirdest local restaurants and trying the most-gigantic ice creams on the Isle. He also follows Lemmy and Jr. at the Pinna Park time to time, not because he's too interested in the rides but mostly 'cause they need a tall sibling that looks big enough to let them ride the most dangerous rides without questions by the staff. When he's not spending time with the younger (or shorter) siblings, he go swimming with Roy and Wendy or keep company to Iggy in his scientific researches - and while the green-shelled brother takes photos, samples and notes, Morton has started collecting the most perfectly shaped, beautifully colored and shiny rocks he can find, for his own pleasure and to show Junior, too.

Larry here! Larry is spending his mornings creating the best sandcastles he ever made, and turning them into magical glass/crystal sculptures with his azure breath. Since he found out he could try this out he insisted for months to go to Isle Delfino on vacantion, winning over Lord Bowser at the end with great displeasure of Lemmy, who wanted to visit a colder place or at least going hiking around the tallest mountains they could find. When at the beach, after creating a whole crystal city with Jr., the light-blue Royal Koopa posts photos of his creations on Koopagram - he recently was allowed to create an account, under the name of Darkdiscokoopaxx, even if he only has 3 followers at the moment, two of wich are his siblings and one is Princess Peach after he spammed her tons of DMs asking for her official page's follow. Then he goes swimming, always bringing with him his inflatable donut not because he can't swim - he's actually a decent swimmer - but because he can use it as a chair as soon he's too tired to move his arms. Larry is also enjoying the sort-of-freedom Bowser gives him and his siblings dring the afternoon, and is trying out all the junk food and weird soda he can find, along with his brother Morton.

In the end, Bowser Junior is a kid in vacantion being a kid in vacantion. It's not easy to always act as the Prince of the Koopas and the official Heir to the Dark Lands throne, you know? He's enjoying playing with the sand, trying to learn how to swim properly without water wings - he *can* sort of swim already, but... he feels much safer with them, especially when in open sea and not in a pool - eating cookies under the beach umbrella, painting on the beach during sunset like a Real ArtistTM (jokes aside, he's quite good for his age!), convincing his dad to buy him toys and souvenirs, eating lot of chips with Larry when Kamek isn't watching, riding the backseat of Roy's motorbike too when Kamek isn't watching again, and riding rides too dangerous for the average kid of his age - but not for a Dragon-Turtle, to be honest - when neither Kamek or Bowser are watching. He's enjoying his staying a lot! Oh, especially when, at the end of their second week of vacantion, he bumped into Princess Toadstool herself, with her guards and her friends. But this is another story.

[slacksterdidnothingwrong]

KOOPA MASTERPOSTS

||BOWSER—KAMEK—LUDWIG—ROY—WENDY—MORTON—IGGY—LEMMY—LARRY—JUNIOR||

Post One—Captain Ludwig von Koopa

• The eldest Koopaling, around 21 in human age

• His eyes are yellow because he can see in the dark, they also tend to glow slightly. He’s an eerie feller.

• Ludwig can play nine instruments. Violin, piano, cello, french horn, trumpet, clarinet, baritone sax, alto sax, and harmonica. He’s also actively learning more.

• That is not just a big bucktooth!! That is an egg tooth. When reptiles (like Koopas) are born, they use those to escape their soft eggs by slashing holes in them. Ludwig’s egg tooth never fell out.

• He’s a big meanie, who tends to lash out at his siblings when he’s frustrated. It’s grown worse since Junior’s birth.

• He plays the mentor figure for his younger siblings, and is very close with Larry and Iggy.

• He and Wendy gossip like teenage girls.

• He’s definitely a runt compared to other Koopas of his age, but even if he’s physically little, he’s the strongest of his siblings.

• Ludwig is a bastard child, the son of a paratroopa and a magikoopa. While his flight isn’t the best, his magic makes him a prodigy.

• Kamek considers Ludwig as his favorite student when it comes to magic.

• He’s Bowser’s best army general, and he’s tough on his soldiers.

• Ludwig’s favorite vacation destination (aka. His favorite place to conquer), is the Sky Kingdom.

• He has an irrational fear of the cold.

• He also has an irrational fear of Princess Daisy. That one’s less irrational, though.

• Because of his stupid egg tooth, he has a bit of a lisp. So while he is musically inclined, he prefers to play rather than sing.

• HEAVY German accent. No one knows where it came from, but it’s his natural speaking voice.

• He is the only Koopaling that Bowser actively listens to for advice.

• Ludwig holds deep resentment for Junior, purely because he took the “heir” position from him by being born.

• The only Koopaling that genuinely thinks Bowser is stupid for chasing after Princess Toadstool.

• Don’t tell anyone, but he’s a huge softie for pastries. He looooves strudels.

[pianokantzart]

I saw this post by @elitadream for her Body Swap AU. I then blacked out, and when I came to I had written a one-shot. Enjoy! As usual, be mindful of the tagged trigger warnings.

––––––––

"Don't look so gloomy, you should revel in the fact that you held such power! You were the sole pillar that held The Mushroom Kingdom aloft!” Kamek reached out a hand and patted the great chained beast on the snout like it was the head of a small child. Mario winced and tried to turn his face away, but the enchanted shackles held him firmly in place. In his helplessness, he locked eyes with the malicious magikoopa, and blew a puff of smoke in a silent threat.

Having been imprisoned for so long, Mario passed the time learning to wield and control Bowser’s fire breath in hopes that, at some point, it would be of use. The way the heat built up in his lungs didn't feel too different from how firebrand once burned within his heart and weaved around the bones of his hands. In the dingy silence of his cell, he spat large jets of blinding orange flames, breathed tiny flicks of red embers, and puffed dark billows of grey smoke in a quiet contemplation of what all he was capable of. While his body was restrained in such a way that he couldn’t aim the weapon, the fact he could use it at all proved to be a very helpful form of self-defense against the soldiers who delivered his rations of food and water.

Once the guards had overcome the initial strangeness of Mario inhabiting their King’s body, they grew cruel, taking every opportunity to taunt the fallen hero. Physically damaging him was off-limits, but everything else was permitted, and when the usual insults escalated to spitting and throwing food, Mario finally lost his temper, releasing a billow of fire and a fearsome roar that cleared the room in seconds. From then on, whenever a koopa entered his cell, he would growl lowly and breathe smoke. This effectively deterred any further abuse…

… unless, of course, it was Kamek. Kamek was not only accustomed to Bowser’s fearful form, but he knew he was Mario’s sole hope of returning to his own body. Whatever threat was directed at him was nothing more than an amusement. “On the other hand," he continued, "you are the greatest crack in their defenses. Never before have we made so much progress in conquering a kingdom in such a short amount of time, and you’re entirely to thank for it!” “Leave me alone.” Mario had intended to sound menacing then, but despite his new voice there was no denying the fear and sorrow that muddled every word. Kamek smiled. “Oh? But don’t you want to hear about this progress we made? That the castle is falling? That Princess Peach has disappeared?” Mario’s eyes widened. The chains holding him back clattered as his massive body jolted. Fear built within him, stoking the literal flames in his chest until it glowed with heat.

Kamek appeared satisfied with this reaction. “Yes! Disappeared entirely! We expected such behavior from your brother… hiding himself like a proper coward… but we are having a good deal of trouble figuring out where The Princess has gone to!”

Mario suddenly became aware of a strange pain spreading through his body. He had, by now, become accustomed to the burning aches that accompanied being chained up for so long, but this pain was different: more direct and intentional, like a thousand little blades tearing at the sinews beneath the skin. He now saw that the wand in Kamek’s hand was glowing, the smile on his bespectacled face wider and more malicious. “Now, your body is still the property of Lord Bowser, and as such is not allowed to come to any harm.” He hummed, “Thankfully, I know a few spells capable of causing a great amount of pain without damaging the vessel.”

Mario tensed. The agony spreading throughout his body worsened, and he huffed a small burst of flame from between gritted teeth.

“So, I’ll ask this only once:” Kamek hissed, “Where do you suppose the princess has gone?”

Mario answered with a cold glare, then squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. Kamek, having expected this, obliged by intensifying the spell. There was the initial surge, white-hot and agonizing, forcing a restrained cry, when the pain suddenly– and unexpectedly– ceased. Even stranger, Mario felt his restraints fall away, and nearly collapsed in their absence, his limbs slowly shifting in the relief of newfound freedom.

Kamek released a guttural gasp. Mario opened his eyes just in time to see his tormentor struggling against tendrils of bright pink magic that wreathed around him like serpents, until the magikoopa slumped quietly to the floor in an unconscious heap. Behind him stood the familiar figure of Princess Peach, her hands ablaze with magic that sparkled like starlight.

Seeing her in the doorway, disheveled but unharmed, scowling at the fallen foe before her, Mario was suddenly overwhelmed by fear and shame. He’d had dreams like this during his captivity, and believing them for even a second proved immeasurably painful when he awoke to find himself restrained and alone. But even if this wasn’t an illusion, everything he was at this moment was an affront to her: a strange combination of monstrousness and uselessness. His alien form complemented his own newfound insignificance, every ounce of goodwill he’d earned over the years now actively destroying all they had struggled to protect. His body fought to make itself smaller as he stumbled back, only to be immediately stopped by the far wall of his tiny cell.

“S-Sono costernato…” he began, loathing the sound of his own voice. But Peach had already crossed the room, desperate to hold him the moment she recognized his eyes. Mario felt the soft fabric of her gloves wrapped around his face, her hair tickling his snout as she pressed her forehead against him. It was difficult not to hold her in return, but Mario restrained himself. He feared underestimating his own strength and unintentionally hurting her more than he already had, so he simply stood there, basking in the sensation and taking in the undeniable reality of it all.

[viaviv124]

Angst Bowuigi Concept

So basically Luigi is stuck in a timeloop/reincarnation circle of sorts. He lives the same lifetime over and over and over again. It's always the same except one little thing changes each time at random, basically like the FUN values in undertale whenever you start a new run and you can have certain random events. As a child he doesnt remember his past lifes but around his late teens he gradually starts to rememeber.

Now, you see, Luigi is in love with Bowser. Deeply so. Yet Bowser only has eyes for Peach. There were a few timelines where Luigi was able to win Bowser over but then he always died to some accident. But he doesn't give up. He keeps trying and trying and trying, each and every possible method. And it doesn't work out. Nothing works out. So he's stuck in an endless chase for Bowsers love, hoping to grow old with him and die by natural causes in order to get out of this circle. No matter what changes, his feelings for Bowser are always there. And they don't go away. And each time he was close to his happy end he died suddenly, so this has to be it, right? A happily-ever-after.

When he's dead there's a brief period where he finds himself in a weird place with weird orbs flowing around. At first it was just one. The amount increased each time. By now it's pretty much overfilled. The orbs show Luigi's life of the particular circle lt was created from. And he can't help but hurt himself by looking at the ones where he was happy, even for a short while. Espacially if it's after a circle where Bowser dispised him.

There as one life in particular Luigi holds dearly. The first time Bowser requited his love. He had also told Bowser what was happening with him, how often he's been doing this and how much he was suffering. And Bowser held him. Not asking questions, not doubting him, just holding him close and giving him the warmth he's been craving for so long. This was coincidentally the timeline where their relationship was at it's best. They managed to spend 10 years together. Luigi thought he's finally free. And then? One of the sharp decorative parts on a chandelier broke off, impaling Luigi right through the heart. And then he was back in this weird, white place. And that's when he realized he wasn't free. Would probably never be.

So its again time to wait for the next re-birth, spending it either by watching old lifes or drowning in self-pity.

[batneko]

A "wicked enchantress" is running around inflicting people with fairy-tale-inspired curses. Peach's castle gets hit with a Sleeping Beauty curse, and the usual solution doesn't work so Mario and Luigi go chasing down the enchantress.

They catch up easily enough, but she blasts Mario with a spell that turns him into a wolf in a red hoodie. Luigi has just enough time to think "wait a minute, Little Red Riding Hood isn't about a curse," before he's zapped with a "Cinderella" curse. He's stuck in a green ballgown and masquerade mask that won't come off.

Of course, that doesn't bother him much, and turning Mario into a wolf only gave him natural weapons, so they kick the enchantress's butt for a few rounds before she runs away.

Meanwhile, Bowser's castle was hit with a Beauty and the Beast curse... while Bowser wasn't home, meaning Junior is now stuck as a beast and honestly having a great time. The servants are pretty unhappy though and it'll be a pain having Junior shed all over everything (and privately Bowser feels bad he wasn't there to protect everyone, plus kissing Junior's newly-fluffy head didn't break the curse which makes Bowser terrified that he doesn't fully love his son and really is as selfish as people say) so he sets out to find whoever did this and rip them apart.

Soon thereafter he runs into what appears to be a princess with very cool taste in pets, and can't resist turning on the charm.

Luigi would have cleared up the misunderstanding right away, except Bowser is so bad at being charming that it loops around to actually being charming. Telling him who he is after flirting back would just make things awkward and maybe get Luigi set on fire. And Mario, despite lacking thumbs or proper vocal chords, is making it extremely clear that he doesn't approve of Bowser and "Princess Emerald" getting too close. Better to cooperate until they find the enchantress and high-tail it out of there as soon as she's defeated.

Unfortunately it turns out the curse still follows Cinderella rules, so at midnight the ballgown disappears and Bowser finds out after all. He's just as pissed as Luigi was afraid he'd be. There's some fire breath tossed around. But he's more embarrassed than anything else, and the fact that he's the only one without a curse (and that the "dog" is actually Mario) cheers him up enough that he decides to stick it out as part of the team.

He doesn't admit that he'd really started to like Princess Emerald in the afternoon they spent together. She was nice. She listened to him. She laughed at his jokes. And he can admit he's got a thing for big blue eyes. The fact that all those traits are the same whether Luigi's in a dress or in overalls is not one he wants to think about.

(The curse affects Luigi from noon to midnight so he still gets mornings to look like himself. Honestly it wouldn't be bad at all except a ballgown isn't very practical and Luigi's mildly offended that the curse also shaves him.)

So they go on, Bowser tries not to flirt, Luigi tries not to fall for his flirting, they both fail and wolf!Mario suffers.

Eventually they do catch up with the enchantress (probably after a lot of other curse-induced fairy tale shenanigans) and try to fight her. The gang is winning when she suddenly blasts Bowser with something that seems to kill him outright. Luigi, devastated, kisses him before getting up to keep fighting.

The enchantress sees this and goes, "Eewww!"

Turns out she's a little girl who got her hands on a powerful magic artifact. True Love's Kiss didn't break any of the curses because she's seven and kissing's gross! Now that they know she's a child (and that Bowser is just sleeping like Snow White) Mario and Luigi are reluctant to fight at full strength. Instead Luigi distracts her with his pretty pretty princess accessories, so Mario can dash in with wolf speed and steal the artifact.

Bowser is extremely confused when he wakes up, saying something about a weird dream he had, but all the curses are broken and everyone can go home. Problem solved. Definitely no lingering feelings and awkward secrets.

Definitely nobody is going to keep thinking about that teary goodbye kiss when Luigi thought Bowser was dead...

[camprell-art]

It's so funny to see a big part of the Mario fandom thinking that the Luigi's Mansion King Boo and the boring King Boo from every other Mario game are the same characters, having theories like, "the gem makes him evil and different" or "you never see them in the same place" or even "his design changes from game to game to fit the mood", when this image exists:

Okay it's recent like, 2019, in Luigi's Mansion 3 post credits, but I saw a video discussing about this and it is from 8 months ago.

Like?? Okay, I might be exaggerating on the level of "upsetness" I'm having, but it's sooooooo obvious there are two of them. Of course, the thing with the design having to fit the game makes sense, but in a story standpoint, it doesn't.

The whole thing about purple King Boo is that he gets caught, escapes, plans something and gets caught again, he has no life outside of this apparently, it's his whole purpose as a character, which also explains the thing with "they're never on the same place at the same time", because he's always contained in some way.

He must be a different character to fit the narrative, it's the same thing with Bowser, when the final objective is rescuing Peach, Bowser is the main antagonist Nintendo thinks is best for most of the time, because Bowser has a motive to capture Peach, the only thing that remains is the way he does it.

And when it doesn't happen, there's something in the plot or mechanics of the game that changes it.

Just comparing the first games that came to the Wii at that time is a good example, you had Mario Galaxy, Super Paper Mario and New Super Mario Bros. The only one that doesn't have Peach as the final objective is SPM, and the reason is the plot and mechanics.

But I won't harass anyone who thinks otherwise, despite doing this rant thing, I just find interesting because I always thought they weren't the same character, just because it was too weird for child me to try to comprehend that the scary king in the scary game was the same as that generic ass thing in the kart game.

Of course we have the bowser and dry bowser situation, but like... One is the consequence of a plot, it's easier to understand, I always saw it as a skin, instead of an actual character.

It's all about characterization too, but I've already talked too much ajdjajf so thank you for coming to my ted talk. See you tomorrow I guess. :)

[mooniemilkieway]

Laughing Jack Headcanons 🎪🩸

.𖥔 ݁ ˖༘⋆𐦍⊹₊ ⋆｡˚ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

(Credit to @/ sillyhoneybear2)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜

⛧ Laughing Jack can hide in mirrors and can pop up inside of them. He usually does this if someone is being vain and wants to taunt them to hopefully make them insecure not only about themselves but how they perceive their reality. This is also his favorite method as it’s usually easier for him to manipulate people into doing his favors.

⛧ Laughing Jack can get very, very obsessed with someone if they treated him right and who he considers a “friend.” He also has extremely bad abandonment issues but just kills people because he is afraid that they’ll either leave him or that he doesn’t see them as “worthy.”

⛧ LJ has two different dimensions that he holds and likes to refer to them as his “kingdoms.” One of them is his usually abandoned carnival purgatory where he keeps his zombie minions where he resurrects when he kills them and sends his victims he’s trying to kill to push them further into insanity. His other one is a very colorful carnival with a hotel that the people he took can stay. It’s very, very rare that he does this but it’s usually people who are in danger and needs a safe place to be in and who Jack deeply cares for. (If you want to think what it could look like just think of Bowser’s carnival from 3d world lol.)

⛧ Laughing Jack would definitely tease you about your height, a lot. He would rest his elbow on your head and pretend that you are an arm chair. He would sarcastically ask where you are even though you are literally right in front of him.

⛧ He is very protective. If anyone even tries to lay a finger on you, he would teleport in front of the attacker and would mess them up badly.

⛧ Laughing Jack has hemomancy or the ability to control or manipulate blood. He does this to his proxies or slaves or if he needs an advantage in a fight or in one of his killing sessions. It does make sense considering how he can orchestrate his dead minions.

⛧ When Laughing Jack gets angry, he has the ability to grow taller and his eyes will turn pitch black with “cracks” coming from his under eyes

⛧ Laughing Jack has made a “child’s-like” storybook based on his origin story about his relationship with Isaac and how he felt during his 13 years of being trapped in his own box.

⛧ He also has really horrendous claustrophobia. He hates being in tight spaces or small rooms because it reminds him of his imprisonment in his box.

⛧ His favorite flowers are Angel’s Trumpets because they remind him of well, himself. Laughing Jack was technically an angel created in heaven and he is now considered “deadly” just like angel’s trumpets. In fact, he would use these flowers to make his candies poisonous by picking the petals and rinsing them with water creating a liquid.

⛧ He can show his reflections in mirrors and can be seen on digital cameras but for some reason he won’t appear in polaroid pictures. This is just a weird case even Laughing Jack couldn’t really explain why or how.

⛧ Laughing Jack has always wanted to have his own bakery. He has thought of killing children to make his desserts and what not but he also has thought about just opening up a regular bakery with no killing involved.

⛧ Laughing Jack in a way does have frost powers. The only thing relating to that he can do is drop the current temperature to freezing in a small area where his victim lays.

⛧ Laughing Jack would get off-guard and even get flattered if you compliment his appearance. So if you’re in a situation where he could kill you, just say he looks very handsome and he’ll be in his thoughts, giving you sometime to literally run.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜ 🎪🩸