#both wips are already past 5k! i just need to know what to put my focus on

[pinkmirth]

help a girl out!

[punemy-spotted]

The Price You Pay

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Non-con/Dub-con, mentions of murder, unclear timeline, blackmail, unprotected sex, fingering (F!receiving), smut, esoteric references to past abuse, manipulation, Dark!Fic

Words: 5.2k (holy fuck?)

Summary: You need his help. He names his price.

Notes: This is for @stargazingfangirl18 and her incredible 5K Soft!Dark Challenge and I can't believe I wrote over 5k words for a oneshot, making this the longest piece I've ever written. I took a blend of prompts: Mob!AU; “When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this;” and “That’s a big favor you’re asking for, I think you need to make it worth my while.”

And this was intended to be a oneshot but now I can't stop thinking about it so thanks Siri, I think this is now a part of my WIPs too! Your work is amazing and I had a blast being able to take part in this!

As usual, my work is 18+ ONLY, Minors DO NOT INTERACT

You went to him first.

You went to him, handed them your business card and I want to speak to Steve Rogers.

Honestly they almost threw you out with an extra hole in your head but then the man of the hour walked right in.

So now you’re here. Now you’re here, sitting across a gorgeous dining table with a ten-course meal laid out and honestly you’re surprised they didn’t tie your wrists to the arms of the chair while you watch him eat and take in the look of those baby blue eyes scanning you over.

He even brought you non-alcoholic rosé, when you said you didn’t drink.

So.

So.

You wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, I do. Thought you’d just sit me in your office, have a consultation.

I like breaking bread with new friends. Have a nice dinner, get the wine flowing — of course, that’s not gonna loosen your tongue, but we’ll forgive it.

Oh. Cool, I like being forgiven.

He laughs at that one and the room, strumming with tension, snaps into amusement. So do you, cracking a half smile on dark red lips, before swallowing down the lump of anxiety threatening to break through and destroy everything. You need this. You need this and you can’t let anything — not your nervousness, not your morals, not him — stop you. You need this and it needs to be done and if this is what justice is in this fucking city then so be it.

Well, sweetness, you’ve got my attention. You want to talk business or pleasure?

That one makes you laugh, a little sharp and a little cruel, and the curling smirk on his face gets a little furrowed because he hears it too — pain.

It could be both, you say finally, picking up the glass of rosé-that-wasn’t, if your reputation is as real as they say it is.

He lifts a bite of cheesecake into his mouth and lets it melt on his tongue while he watches you, somewhere between impressed and incensed. You know the look — you saw it the last time he met you in court, but you weren’t there as allies then. Never thought you’d come to me, he admits finally, sounding halfway bemused at the idea, but you’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Counsel?

You wince, or maybe smirk, eyes on the man before you.

It’s a game, a dance, a ruse, and the woman you thought you were thirteen months ago when you put four of Steve Rogers’s best men in jail for fifteen years — fifteen years longer than any District Attorney had ever managed to do before you, and you were just the rookie they handed a shit case to — is leagues different from the woman you are now, seated prim and proper in the lion’s den.

You’re not innocent. That’s not been your game for years — this life doesn’t leave room for innocence, it tears at you, leaves you tired and broken and ill.

Your colleagues learned to fear him a long time ago, the man before you. Captain America, leading the city, the country, the world into a new era of high tech crime all under his thumb. It’s a pretty shiny shield, the one that sits behind him, but mirrors are black on the other side and his soul is dark as coal.

You’re not an angel yourself, and this deal with the Devil isn’t for anyone but you.

I need someone taken care of.

So you come to me? I thought you were a lady of morals, Counsel.

Certain kinds of morals.

You can see him smile, see the way he raises his glass, the glimmer of malice and amusement in his eyes. So tell me. What’s the name?

You give it.

He’s not in the city, your target, but he will be. A Judge, an activist, real tough-on-crime-sweet-on-justice type of shit. You don’t tell him the reasons why, because those are yours, but you tell him the name. You tell him he’s a problem, you tell him he’s dangerous, you tell him you’ll pay to have him taken care of, you tell him you don’t want to practice in front of that black, black robe.

And he smiles like the Devil he is, watches you with a grin and drinks his whiskey in one last shot before slamming it down, Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

You said that when we met the first time.

He’s a hunter, you can see it in his eyes. That lion’s mane might be tamed right now but it won’t be for long and you’re playing with wild animals. The eyes on you are ice and daggers, daring you to do the one thing everyone in the office has been begging you not to do.

(Drop the charges, Rookie, the case is just to get your face in front of the judge.)

You upped the charges.

(Rookie, you don’t know what you’re dealing with, there’s other cases.)

You subpoenaed his phone records.

(Rookie, don’t make me drag you off this case!)

You won.

You had no witnesses and a jury you had to drag in from god-knows-where after you proved, over and over again, that he’d paid off the cohort in the courtroom. Finding people with nothing to lose and a desire to do their civic duty wasn’t harder than you thought — it was exactly as impossible as you expected.

But you did it.

That’s what you do, isn’t it? Push and push and fight, claw your fingers at the ledge and pull yourself up, you pay for your crimes in your blood, sweat and tears you pay for the things you could have done then and didn’tdo.

You pay.

And sometimes, that payment bounces back.

And when it was all said and done, when the closing statements were delivered, when the Jury came back out and the Judge — hands shaking, mouth agape, eyes wide — read out the verdict no one expected, you… didn’t feel any better, did you? There was no justice for you in that room, just the searing glare of ice-blue eyes and the burning of your steel spine.

Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

First words he said to you, while the courtroom emptied out and you stood there, facing the man you’d just made an enemy of with your briefcase in your hand and your eyes aflame.

I did my job.

Did you? Is that what you think your job is?

My job is justice, unflinching and blind, Mr. Rogers. I don’t care how much power you have or how afraid you leave this city, I’m going to do my job.

You could always let justice turn a blind eye.

Yeah. I could, but that wouldn’t make this any fun, would it? Thank you for the win, Mr. Rogers — I’m sure I won’t get many more.

You leave him with a smile on his face and the scent of your perfume in his memories.

He leaves you with the pride of victory in your bones and a reminder that your strife could be worth it.

One day.

How do you plan to fill that pit, the one you tossed the corpses of your old self into? The one you let them claw up out of, to haunt you? Remind you?

You’re digging your own grave and you know it, but you won’t let Steven Grant Rogers be the first one to toss a handful of dirt over your corpse.

But now here you are.

In his dining room, enjoying dessert and some sort of after-meal coffee. In need of him…

This might almost have been a date, if not for the topic of conversation.

So. You want a Judge taken out. What if he’s already on my payroll?

Why would you keep a dead man in your pocket?

You like the sound of his laugh, and you don’t even have the excuse of wine to fall back on when it warms your core. Don’t admit it though, don’t say it aloud, don’t let him get an in. Be smart, cross your legs tighter, keep your eyes on the prize.

You’re so close to the finish line.

That’s a big favor you’re asking for, Counsel, I think you need to make it worth my while.

Worth your while?

I’m not a charity. And since you put the guy I usually use to handle these things behind bars for a few years—

You know I can get him out too.

That’s not payment, that’s putting things right.

You take a drink. Steady on, girl.

I’m leaving the DA’s office.

That stops him.

Oh that stops him good, and he looks fascinated. Interested. You’ve said something he can use as leverage and it’s not just about a job. That smirk on his face is smug and his eyes are darker and he has to know the impact that look has.

Can’t falter, don’t falter, don’t give in.

Am I allowed to ask why?

No.

You’ve done your research. You just don’t know why you’re thinking about it now. Steven Grant Rogers, “Captain America,” leader of a crime family that had too many names to stamp out, bolstered by a mad scientist, a military man through-and-through who turned New York into his own private base against whatever stood against his way.

Get in his good graces and you’re set for life. Get in his good graces and you’re safe, you’re protected, you’re good.

Get on his bad side and you only make that mistake once.

There are no second chances in this game, and here you are, asking for one.

So what? You leave the DA’s office, you leave yourself open to me — you think leaving New York is going to be the thing that stops me, Counsel?

No.

Then what?

Breathe. Steady.

I know you gave me that win on purpose — you could have taken out my last jury cohort. This isn’t about the four men… and you know I’ll get them out. This is something else, but I’m not here to ask about what or why.

He falters just briefly, like he’s surprised you knew, but the crack in his mask smooths itself over as soon as it forms and he’s back to watching you, nodding along in silence while you breathe and watch him and keep talking.

But even then. I got four of your guys in prison. And I know how your organization works — I subpoenaed the documents, remember? Your lawyers are good, but they’re not used to people asking the right questions. You want someone to seal up the cracks you need someone who actually knows what to look for.

You have more than his attention, you have his interest, and now he’s leaning in a little. Imperceptibly, but enough. Scanning over you from across the table, like he’s thinking how you managed to get so impertinent in the face of the likes of him but that’s the thing — when the only thing you have left to lose is your life, you’ll risk everything.

So what are you offering?

Breathe. Don’t. Stammer.

Myself.

The chair scrapes and suddenly there’s the clicking of guns, aimed and ready until his hand rises up and he stops them and he’s stalking towards you.

This is the lion’s den, sweetness.

The stakes are higher and you ought to be braver and he’s got your chin in his hand before you have a chance to react, dragging you to your feet. Do you know what you’re offering me, Counsel? Low and hissed and hungry, like those perfect teeth might be sinking into your throat in the next moment.

Oh, you have no idea.

You get me. On your payroll — you know. The offer you sent me a year ago.

You think it’s still open?

If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have met with me.

The chuckle in your face makes your cheeks warm and you’re looking more flushed than you would like, the open shoulders of your dress suddenly feeling a lot more like a mistake the more you realize just what kind of meal he might make out of you tonight.

We might need to have a discussion about your workplace duties, Counsel.

You don’t notice the hand near your thigh until it’s too late, sliding up the soft fabric of your skirt until it’s squeezing your ass, until it’s jerking you towards him, until you’re pressed against his chest and the hand on your chin is now hooked around the back of your neck, thumb pushing your jaw until you’re forced to look at him. Won’t lie, when I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this, having your pretty little body in my arms,and you can look as indignant as you want but he’s got the upper hand and you only thought you were two steps ahead of him.

You think I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to put you in your place, Counsel? You’ve got a smart mouth — I wanna know what else it can do.

He doesn’t give you a chance to use that mouth to lash at him, lips sliding over yours, swallowing that indignant yelp with a punishing kiss. Nipping at the plushness of your lower lip until you open your mouth and yield to him with a sigh of reluctant surrender, let his tongue slide past that barrier for him to explore. He’s got his fingers wound through your hair, just a little too tight and whether the whimper in your chest is because of the pain or because of the want, he doesn’t care.

Knew you’d be sweet, Counsel… softly, when he pulls back to look at you, take a look at those love-swollen lips and your ruined lipstick, the pretty way you pant at him already, the heat burning your cheeks. Pay no attention to the slick warmth between your thighs, pay no attention to the way he makes you burn already, pay no attention to how your fingers have curled into the lapel of his coat to hold yourself steady, pay no attention to how you suddenly miss the pressure of his lips.

All that smart-talk and now you’re quiet, Counsel? F’I knew it just took a kiss to get you to shut up, I would’ve done that at trial, he’s purring in your ear, soft and sweet and you should push at his chest, so uncurl your fingers girl and push.

I didn’t say I was selling my body, there’s your harshness, and there he is, laughing at you again, the grip on your hair jerking your head back until you’re looking into those dagger-cold eyes again.

You don’t make the rules here, Counsel, I do, and you need me more than I need you. So if you want to make sure your Judge can’t start wreaking havoc on your career… you might want to get used to readjusting it for me. I promise I’ll make you feel nice, if you let me…

And if I don’t?

Then I take what I want and I don’t feel bad for not holding up my end of the bargain. Your choice, Counsel, you cum willingly and I’ll give you everything you want. Don’t, and it’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.

That’s not a threat, that’s a promise, and suddenly you’re more scared than you ever thought you’d be, wondering if you’ll need to sell another part of your soul to take him down after. How much of yourself will you put up as collateral to get justice for the wrongs you were never able to correct?

You’re afraid.

Oh sweetness, you’re afraid.

Here? Now?

No, Counsel, we’re gonna do this right, aren’t we? You wanna be in bed with me, I’ll take you to bed with me. Come on, say it. Say the word.

Say no. Say no, rail and fight, stamp your heels into the expensive leather of his shoes, jam your knee into the sensitive between his legs, scream and yell and tell him you will never let another man take advantage of you again to help you reach your goals. Do it. Do the thing you swore you would do the next time a man like him — men who think they can take anything from anyone, men who think they own the world and the women in it, men who think you aren’t strong enough to fight back — propositioned you just like this.

You’re selling your soul to get rid of a man just like this.

But that’s coiling heat in your core that wasn’t there the last time, was it? That’s want. That’s the realization that you like the way this predatory smile feels, that you like the way this one wants you. You’re not her, not scared and alone and helpless. You could fight back and run and maybe escape if you were lucky.

You could choose.

He’s let go of your hair to stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers, soft and sweet, You gonna give me an answer, Counsel, or am I gonna have to take it?

Say something. Say no. Scream. Say no say no say no say— Yes.

It’s a whisper. A desperate, soft whisper. A helpless, lonely whisper. It’s enough.

He sweeps you around until you’re pressed with your back against his unyielding chest, feeling him flex with every movement, broad arm wrapped around your shoulders from the front. All of you are dismissed, and that’s when you remember there were others in the room with you. Others who just watched you concede to becoming Captain America’s newest plaything and the burn on your cheeks is more shame than lust. You pull at his arm briefly, futilely, earning a tighter hold for your efforts and a whispered don’t make me choke you, before you are half-walked, half-dragged out of the dining room.

The walk to his room is slow and agonizing as you’re pulled along, barely struggling but barely helping at the same time, tears sliding down your cheeks as you come to terms with what’s going to happen next — no one is going to save you tonight, no one’s going to interrupt and drag you out, this is your job and this is your place and here you are.

No one speaks. There’s no sound but the steady tap of your heels and his shoes on fine marble. Even your sobs are silent, even your breathing is muffled, until the stairs are traversed and the faintest click of a lock turning opens the door to the rest of your life.

You made a deal.

Time to pay.

Sit on the bed.

You move as if in a trance, and he watches your face, the hint of waterproof mascara failing to do its job, the smudged ruby red of your lipstick. Don’t give me that look, you knew what you were signing up for when you walked into this house, Counsel.

His hands are gentler than you’d expect, when he wipes away the streaks your tears leave down your pretty cheeks, coaxing you to look up at him, We’ll set ground rules later. Tonight? I wanna see if I can get that mouth of yours to beg for me.

It won’t, you snap without thinking, knifeblade sharp and cruel, ready for a fight again. He promised you that once, in a hiss you thought you’d misheard but no, you heard him just fine and now if he thinks he can quench your fire and have you pleading just because you sold your body for the prospect of revenge then he’s wrong.

Thing is, he laughs like that’s a challenge, and the hand holding your chin so gently is wrapped around your throat before you know it, silencing your voice with just the right application of pressure. I can do this all night, Counsel. Do you think you can last that long?

Fear. Anger. Indignation. You are fury made flesh and he is manipulating you with just the barest press of his palm and sliding over you, until you’re laid out there on soft sheets and he’s looming over you, splaying that big hand out and sliding it down your throat, over your chest, feeling the ruching of the fabric under his palm. You wrapped yourself up like a present for me, didn’t you sweetness?

The change in nickname isn’t lost on you but here you are, glaring up at him while he smiles so beatifically it leaves your blood boiling and your skin steadily warming. The rise and fall of your chest is hypnotic, every angry breath a swear you don’t utter, every inhale your protests dying in your throat. What can you say, what would you say, right now? There’s nothing that can change the way he looks at you, or the way his eyes flicker from ice to blue fire the more he takes stock of the pretty little thing he’s about to start sharing his bed with.

Fuck, you’re beautiful, that one shocks you, but not as much as the sudden rush of cold air when he tears the emerald green fabric of your dress down and reveals the soft swells of your breasts, nipples peaked from the sudden cold.

You don’t get much time to gasp, just something soft and strangled before he turns your voice to whimpers, wrapping lips around that pebbled tip and laving his tongue over sensitive flesh. Where are your words now, Counsel, while he threatens the softness of your chest with the scrape of his teeth, when he slides his hands over the round curve of your thighs and parts your legs so he can press himself between them, so he can press himselfagainst you? Where is the knife-dagger of your wit to protest each soft, suckling kiss to your skin, each press of his fingers like he could just squeeze his ownership of you into the plushness of your hips, into the sweet swell of your ass? What do you say to the dirty little thrust of his hips as he bucks with his own burning need, reminding you just how much this is for hispleasure as he will make it for yours.

You would, could, should push him off and instead what are you doing? Curling your fingers into the silk-smooth of his comforter, desperate to writhe out of your own skin away from the burning pressure between your thighs, the foreign, unfamiliar heat you suddenly feel like you might be craving.

Anyone ever touch you like this before me, Counsel?Warm breath splays across your skin when he questions you, eyes fixed on yours and he waits. Answer him, answer him, tell him he’s nothing, tell him you’ve had better, lie and destroy that ego, lie lie lie lie—

Nnnh—no.

He looks like you’ve just told him the best news of his life, eyes wide and blown with lust, Oh is that right? You’re saying no one’s ever touched you this good? Or just no one’s ever touched you at all?

You don’t have to answer. The furious blush on your cheeks? The way your eyes slide away from his? The way you writhe, trying to press your thighs together to relieve the pressure and finding the effort futile? If the man’s grin could get any wider, it would, right now. Oh sweetness, we’re going to have so much fun exploring your body together…

He pulls back just enough to take a look at you, already flushed and writhing and overwhelmed and if he could take a picture of this right now he would. He’ll save that for later though. Tonight? Tonight is just the two of you, and his hands are back to your skirt, pushing the tight fabric up over your round hips and revealing the lace of your panties… just before he rips them off, to the sound of your indignant yelp Steve!

You’re going to call me Captain, sweetness, we’re not close enough to use my name just yet.

No. No you’re not, and he’s not sure you’ll ever be — he rather likes the idea of hearing you whimper out his title when he gets you desperate and wanting.

He touches, slow and steady, watching you try to jerk away and tutting at you when you do, fingers at your delicate nerves like an assault on your pleasure. Bite your lip, bite back the moans, whine at him like he’s wounded you, You’re so wet, sweetness, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you, as he palms his cock to relieve the pressure on himself. You’re going to beg before he does and he’s patient, he’ll last the night.

St-stop it, it’s too— he shushes you ahtahtaht and rests his free hand on your mound, holding you down so his probing, inspecting fingers can take stock of the velveteen plushness of your delicate cunt. It’s too much, too much and you want to scream the moment he presses one finger into you, already overwhelmed, already so tightly wound the barest touches are unraveling you steadily.

You’re such a pretty thing, all desperate and needy, sweetness. You wanna cum already, don’t you? So busy, never gave anyone the chance to fuck that stuck-up bitch right out of you, did they? It’s almost pitying, isn’t it, the way he talks, hums at you while you’re reduced to a whining, whimpering mess so soon, so desperate for the release he’s on the edge of denying you, feeling you flexing around his finger and then the second leaping jolt of your body when another joins the inspection. Taking careful stock of the pretty cunt he owns now, and he’s careful to curl his fingers just right as he seeks the spot to hammer just to get you to scream.

You don’t, not yet, but that’s okay too, because he sees the way you take desperate hold of the sheets, the way your eyes roll backwards just slightly, the way you strain against his heavy hand to arch your back. Gotta tell you, sweetness, I imagined you under me a thousand and one ways but this one, right now? Tops the list. You ready to beg for me?

Do it. Do it and end your pleasurable torment. Do it and be released from the pressure, the coiling want. Surrender to him. Let him have you.

The white hot rush of your orgasm is not unexpected to him, his curling, cruel fingers having found the sweetness of your g-spot, but — you, too busy climbing the ranks to think of your own pleasure, too busy demanding your due from an unjust world explore your own warmth beyond that of a memory of a college hookup you would rather forget — you left breathless and wanton in the heat of the explosion he draws out of you, mewling something desperate and pleading against your own will and the song of it fills his ears like it’s all he’s ever wanted. There it is, and I thought we’d be here all night. A thumb flickers over the nerves at your entrance and you practically jump, something between a yelp and a moan escaping your lips.

First one’s just a treat, sweetness. Now on, you cum when I say you do, understand?

You nod.

Oh you nod, and you are lost, here and now. Sensitive and broken and there is so little of that steel spine here, writhing in his sheets and ohyou don’t know the things you do to him.

Think you can go again, sweetness? He’s purring, smug, twisting fingers stretching you slowly, muttering under his breath about how fucking tight you are around his fingers, how good you’re going to feel for him, and the smugness on his face is slowly fading into a dark consternation, brows furrowed like he’s somehow angry at you for being plush and delicate and fuckable.

You’re almost begging him to stop, and yet the pressure is building again, the twisting, coiling heat that leaves you breathless and mewling and he looks like he might be trying to immortalize this moment forever. Say it, sweetness. Say you need me. Beg me for my cock.

That’s it.

That’s what you need to, you need to beg, you need to give in. No more fighting, no more arguing no more —

Please…

Please what, sweetness, come on now. You got a way with words. The snarl is so barely contained.

Please, Captain, please just…

What do you need, sweetness? The fingers are relentless, the buzz in your nerves is overwhelming, you can barely even hear yourself talk, much less him.

Please just fuck me, Captain, I need your cock! It’s hurried and it’s crude and it’s desperate and it’s exactly what he wants as just another wall crumbles and you fall off your pedestal right into his arms.

He’s barely able to resist the buck of his hips, the need to be inside you, the knowledge that you are soft and velvet and you could be all over his senses just like this.

When did he free his cock? You don’t know, you just know it’s practically salvation when he sinks into you, when he fills you like you’ve been desperate for and Oh sweetness…pours from his lips just as you hiss out something like praise right back at him.

You’re so full and he’s so gentle, at first, like you’re made of crystal in his arms, like the slow shifting of his hips might have you shattering underneath him if he’s not careful. Cradling you, even, sliding your legs around his narrow hips as he leans in and takes a hungry kiss from your wanting, whimpering mouth.

Love this look on you, all wrapped around me, whispered low and slow into your ear, sweetness you have no idea how good you look…

Melt into those compliments, melt into him, because the way he’s holding you is divine and you can feel him so deep in you it’s making your head spin. When did your arms end up around him? When did you start clinging to him like an anchor, start winding your fingers through his hair, start leaving the marks of your nails on his back to the sound of his own needy groaning?

He noses your cheek and leaves a mark of ownership on your neck with hungry lips, knowing you’ll bruise a beautiful flower right over your pulsebeat and continuing the steady assault on your nerves, cunt-first.

Harder. Faster. More.

And oh, sweetness, you do shatter.

You shatter all around him, you shatter into something divine and rapturous, full of him and filled with him and he cums so deep inside you as you do, still fucking you through your joined climax, hips rutting and breath hitching and nearly furious at you for the way his vision whites out too, the way he feels like he can Never get enough and so he hisses that at you like an accusation while his thoughts reorient back to reality, back to smugness, back to the control you took from him while he tried to strip you of yours.

In the end, as he pulls away from you and sinks to the side of you, watching your sweet expression as you return to the reality of your new situation, he is satisfied… thoroughly.

Oh yeah, I think we can make this a working relationship, Counsel.

[neesieiumz]

Hi there, I noticed your requests are open! May I please request some smut for laxus with a fem reader, headcanons or scenario I don't mind (I hope this isn't too vague and I hope you do smut, if not some fluff would be nice) thanks!

Surprise {Laxus Dreyar x F!Reader}

Summary: You had news, important news to tell Laxus. You wanted to make it special, so while preparing the surprise, something happens. Will you be able to tell Laxus the news?

A/N: I AM SO SORRY!!! I was working on this ever since you made the request and I had that long bout of writers block and hated touching my WIPs! But now I can finally do this request! I wrote like six prompts for this request and this was the one that I could flesh out the most. I know you asked for smut, so I may do a part two of this, have it take place after the one year time skip. I just wanted have something for you, instead of leaving this in the drafts. 

Word count: 5k

---

You’ve been in the guild since you were young, and have stayed with them through thick and thin. You found solace in the Thunder Legion and in the arms of the Master’s grandson Laxus. The two of you clicked in ways you’ve never expected. You started as going close friends and went through it all together. From the Battle Royale, which did drift you to his sudden appearance at Tenrou Island. It was the two of you, along with the Thunder Legion, against the world. Ever since Tenrou Island, the two of you have been dating, and it was the best decision of your life. 

Now it was after the Grand Magic Games and for a while, things were peaceful in Magnolia. There were a lot of jobs being taken, wizards of Fairy Tail were thriving. It was all good.

You were out shopping, a soft smile on your face as you picked up things for the dinner tonight. You were planning a dinner with your boyfriend and his friends tonight. A special one you told them. You were wearing a black, spaghetti strap, corset top, with ripped, black jeans and a pair of strappy boot heels. You were in one of the best moods of your life, so excited for tonight. 

You picked up some dry pasta and placed it alongside your other items in your basket. You went over the list of everything you needed before heading to an empty checkout line. Once you began to place the different food you bought in the lane, your mind drifted back to before you arrived here. When you had to tell them why you couldn’t come with them for their restaurant job at 8-Island. 

“A special dinner? For what?” Bickslow questioned, crossing his arms. 

You just smiled smugly, placing your finger on top of your plump, glossy lips, “that, my dear friend, is for me to know and for you guys to find out! Now I don’t want to keep old man Yajima waiting! Go!” You shoved the long-tongued man, along with the rest of them, towards the large guild door. 

Laxus, being Laxus of course, barely budged from your efforts to push them out, instead choosing to turn around and grab you by the wrists. You tried to squirm out his hold but he held your wrists tighter and pulled you even closer, looking into your eyes. You squirmed at his intense stare, trying to look away from his blue-gray eyes. 

“You sure it’s nothing bad?” He questioned softly, one of his hands moving from your wrist to your waist. 

You relaxed a bit before smiling, exhaling through your nose. You raised an arm to caress his cheek softly, running your thumb over his lips. 

“I promise it’s a good thing.” Still holding his cheek, you leaned up and gave him a peck on his cheek, leaving a glossy print. 

He muttered “angrily” at your actions but his cheeks gave him away as they turned red which made him glance everywhere but at you. You smiled at his actions and gave them one final push out of the guild so they can make it on time for their restaurant job at 8-Island. 

“See you guys tonight! And don’t eat too much there, I’m making a big dinner!” You waved them off. 

The Thunder Legion turned around and waved at you back, Evergreen yelled at you to make your famous butter rolls. You smiled at her and yelled back that you already planned to make them. She smiled at you and turned back around and caught up with the rest of them. 

Laxus glanced back at you and winked at you, making you roll your eyes and smile at him and waved your fingers at him before entering the guild to talk to Mira about her recipe books. 

You smiled before hearing the cashier calling out to you. Your cheeks immediately burned in embarrassment, before pulling out your wallet to pay for your things. She handed you your receipt, which you thanked her for before summoning a cloud to help you carry all of your things home. It was already getting close to the time they were supposed to be returning from 8-Island anyways. You wanted to get dinner started for them so they wouldn’t be waiting long. 

You walked towards your home, clouds carrying your bags and your hands on your abdomen. 

Not realizing the horror that was happening to your loved ones right now. 

----

Meanwhile, at the Fairy Tail guild hall…

“How are we supposed to tell her?”

The entire guild was in the infirmary, moments after Freed carried all his team and Yajima back to the guild. They were currently unconscious, their bodies writhing in pain from the Bane particles in their system.  Porlyusica was still trying to ease their pain.

“Huh? Tell who?!” Natsu asked, looking around the guild. 

“You idiot!” Lucy yelled, hitting him in the back of the head before pointing all around the guild. 

“Who else?!? Y/n Of course! She’s not here! She doesn’t know what happened to them!”

Natsu looked at Lucy incredulously before looking around before realizing she was right, you weren’t here. No one has seen you since Laxus and the Thunder Legion left for their job. Mira, however, looked away and down as she started to recall the conversation you had with her. It was right before you left the guild, heading towards the stores in town today. 

“She went out in the town today,” Mira started, tears filling her waterline, “she said she had a surprise for Laxus and the Thunder Legion and wanted to make a special dinner for the four of them,” Mira told the whole guild, looking down at her hands, tears filling her eyes. 

“I have to make an amazing dinner for them tonight, cause of the news I have to tell them!” You were so excited, taking the book in Mira’s hands and putting it in your bag. 

Mira giggled and clasped her hands together in joy, “may I ask what this special surprise is supposed to be?”

You looked at Mira, eyeing her carefully. After Ever, you did think of Mira as your best friend. The two of you hit it off when you joined the guild with Evergreen. Plus she knew how to keep a secret. When she wanted to anyways. You took a deep breath and smiled before placing your hands on your abdomen. 

She looked down at your hands before looking back at you. You tapped your finger pads gently against your abdomen, making her look back down. She was still confused for a moment before her eyes widened in shock and she gasped loudly. 

“You- You’re preg-”

Frantically, you quickly reached up to her face and covered her mouth with your hands. You looked around to make sure that no one heard her. Luckily no one is paying attention to you guys. All you did was nod your head at what she was asking you before slowly removing your hand from your mouth. 

“I’m so happy for you!” Her eyes filled with tears as she carefully wrapped her arms around you. 

You smiled at her happiness and wrapped your arms around her, relishing in her warm hug. You both stayed like that for a moment before letting go. You told her that you hadn’t told Laxus or the Thunder Legion yet and that you wanted to make a special dinner for the five of you. To do that, you have to head out to the store to get the things you needed for dinner tonight. 

Mira smiled in happiness for you as she waved you off, seeing you walk out the guild doors, with a skip in your walk. 

“See you later Mira!”

Mira began to sob in her hands, taking a seat beside Laxus’ bed. Lisanna immediately began to comfort her, wrapping her arms around her older sister’s trembling shoulders. The entire guild could only look in sadness as the white-haired S-Class wizard cried for her friends. 

“T-this is going to kill her,” Mira sobbed, taking the tissue Juvia offered her. 

Gray opened his mouth, was about to say something when loud creaking, which usually came from the guild front doors, started filling the quiet air. They could hear footsteps slowly entering before hearing, 

“Hello!!? Where are you guys? Where is everyone?” 

It was you. It was way past the time that Laxus said he and the others would be home. After waiting for over an hour, you decided to come to the guild. You had planned to go to the 8-Island restaurant but city officials had closed off the area due to a gas leak. At least, that’s what they were telling people who asked. They would have told you something different, however, your guild Mark was on your shoulder blade, and you were wearing a jacket.

Mira began to cry harder, her body shaking. 

“I-I can’t-,” she choked, coughing into her hands. 

Master Makarov sighed, stroking his beard, his eyes closed. He stood there for a moment before turning around and headed towards the infirmary door. 

“Don’t worry child, I’ll tell her.”

——

You were getting worried. First Laxus and the Thunder Legion don’t show up and now the guildhall is empty. You changed out of your outfit, wearing a long-sleeved, black, ruched dress with ruffles all over the dress. Your coils, usually in a wash-and-go style, are now slicked up into an afro puff and decorated with a butterfly clip that Laxus had gotten you one time. You looked around at the empty guildhall, wondering where everyone was. 

“Guys, this is getting really weird… where are you?!” You called out one more time. 

You then heard movements behind you, making you quickly turn around and get in a battle stance. Only to find Master Makarov coming down the stairs. You let out a breath of relief before walking up to him. 

“I’m so glad to see you,” you smiled at your future grandfather-in-law, “where’s the rest of the guild? Have they all taken jobs again? And do you know where Laxus is? It’s getting late.”

Gramps sighed before taking your hand and leading you to the closest table to the stairs. He made you sit down as he looked down in anguish. 

“Gramps… is there something wrong?” You asked him tentatively, leaning over to try and look him in the face. 

You could see tears in his waterline which made you even worried. What could have happened for him to feel like crying?

“My dear Y/n… something has happened…”

——

The doors of the infirmary slammed open, causing everyone to gasp and turn around as they saw you running inside like a madwoman. You pushed them all away from you, basically having no regard for any of them. You soon reached the closest bed. 

Which just so happens to be Laxus’ bed. 

Your body began to shake as your eyes glanced over on his sickly body. He was pale, oh so very pale, you could almost see the poison moving through his veins. His eyes were closed but you could hear him grunt from the pain of the and writhe in pain. There was sweat glistening on his body. The tears were already falling from your eyes. 

“N-no, not L-Laxus,” you stuttered, slowly falling to your knees.

You couldn't breathe. You could see dark spots started to cloud your vision, you could feel your eyes beginning to flutter open and closed. You took a couple of steps back before you lost your footing, stumbling on yourself. 

“Y-Y/n?” You heard someone question but you couldn’t place who it was as your vision blackened, falling to the ground unconscious. 

“Y/N!”

Gray, being the closest male to you, immediately picked you up and placed you on the next empty bed, the one beside Freed’s. Porlyusica immediately came over to check on you, placing a stethoscope on your body and placing it at different vital areas. She removed the tool and placed her hands on your abdomen, her hands giving off a blue glow. A few seconds after her hands immediately turned pink. 

She slowly nodded her head, before removing her hands, the pink glow slowly fading away. The entire guild watched as Porlyusica slowly rose from her kneeling position before turning to face the rest of the guild, looking on at their collapsed guildmate with immense worry. 

“Well?!” Natsu questioned, “what’s wrong with her?”

Porlyusica just sighed and smiled sadly, shaking her head. 

“She’s pregnant.”

The entire guild gasped loudly at the news and the reveal only seemed to make Mira cry even harder. Some looked over at you, seeing your tears drying on your face as you rest. Some looked onto Master, waiting for his reaction. Others looked onto Porlyusica as she explained the reason for your fainting. 

“She just needs to rest, I guess she stressed herself out a little too much today and this just topped everything,” Porlyusica said, reaching over to pull up the blanket to right under your chin.

Porlyusica made sure that you were as comfortable as possible, before turning to the rest of the Fairy Tail Guild, “This is a crucial time for her, she needs to be resting… which means you all need to find the person who did this Laxus and the rest of the Thunder Legion and find them quickly!”

The guild’s all-around sullen faces became hardened with resolve, with these new developments, a new enemy was upon them. Master Makarov already started to make plans to find the other council members and protect them while making plans to find Tartarus. The entire guild soon cleared out of the infirmary, on Prolyusica’s orders, of course, saying that the large group was making her and her patients stuffy. After everyone left, Erza already yelled at them to start the search for the former council members. However, Mira and Lisanna stayed, looking on to your resting body before turning their eyes towards the Thunder Legion and Old Man Yajima. 

“Don’t worry Mira,” Lisanna said, giving her sister a reassuring one-sided hug, “Laxus and the others are gonna make it out of this alive and he and Y/n are gonna have their baby.”

Mira took a deep breath, wiping her tears away with a clean tissue. She looked down at her hands before forming a small smile on her face.

“Yeah, you’re right Lisanna.”

——

You were awake.

It had been two days since you found out about Laxus and the Thunder Legion’s demise. You were now awake and you barely spoke to anyone, using mostly nods and head shakes to communicate to people. Mira was the only one who would hear you speak real words. But the most she would get to hear you say is “no’s” and “yes”. The only time people would hear you speak full words and sentences is when you would talk to Laxus. He obviously couldn’t respond but you couldn’t help it. You knew he was mostly listening. At least you hoped. 

You refused to leave Laxus’s side, Mira had to bring you clothes from your home and you ate and slept in the guild. In the empty infirmary beds. No matter what, you refused to leave his side, no matter what people tried to tell you. A plus to this was that Porlyusica could do checkups on you. She made sure that the baby was growing and nothing was hindering their development. However she, and the other have been trying to convince you to take a break from the guild. Although you couldn’t go out and help people with the search, they wanted you to at least take a walk outside of the guild. 

“You can’t keep staying here Y/n, it’s not good for the baby,” Mira tried to convince you to take a walk but you wouldn’t budge. 

You were sitting by Laxus’ side, as you’ve always been, holding his hand and just looking at him. You were wearing a pair of comfy sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt. Your hair was dry and crunchy to the touch. You had not moisturized it for days, still pulled up in the same puff you had a couple of days ago. 

“How about you take a small walk, I can convince Levy to take over for me and I walk with you?”

Nothing. Not a word from you. You were still silent, sitting by Laxus’ side and holding his hand, slowly stroking it. Your eyes were lifeless, eyes heavy with bags. 

“Y/n, I know you're worried, but please think about what Laxus would want. He would want you to take care of yourself, take care of your baby. And staying like this isn’t good, you need a breath of fresh air. Please if not for me, for the baby then?”

You took a deep breath and leaned back, still holding his hand. 

“Mira is right, your baby comes before you now. Take some time outside, before you come back to this dreary place,” Porlyusica then said, looking at some herbs and oils in glass beakers. 

Mira came up and grabbed you by the shoulders, “please just for five minutes, and then you can come back inside, okay?”

You sighed, glanced at her before looking at your lover, who was currently fighting for his life right now. You looked at him with longing, to see him wake up, to see his reaction when he learns of your state. You caressed his face, thumbing over his cheek before slowly sliding your hand off of his face. You looked back at Mira and nodded your head, sliding your chair back. You got up and followed Mira outside, ignoring the members who were running around, currently on the mission to find the former council members, hopeful to find the ones connected to FACE. 

Mira kept you updated about the guild at times.

The two of you stepped outside and took in the cool air slightly blowing in your faces. You took a deep breath as you began to rock back and forth. You crossed your arms together and rubbed them up your biceps to gain some warmth in your palms. 

“See, don’t you at least feel a bit better, more air in your lungs at least?”

You said nothing, just continued to look out into the Magnolia distance. Squinting your eyes, you could see the old Island-8 restaurant, and the construction workers beginning the new building. You felt a lump in your throat as you looked on, before taking a deep breath and rolling your shoulders back, feeling the joints in your backbones crack. 

“Y/n?”

You felt a force slightly push you at your shoulders, pulling you out of your headspace. You jumped a little before turning around looking at your friend, who looked at you with even more worry. You gave her a small smile as she grabbed your shoulder, joining you in looking at your home city. 

“You know he’s gonna pull through, so please don’t stress yourself out,” Mira said, laying her head on top of your shoulder. 

You let out a small breath throughout your nose before reaching out to place one hand on her head and the other one in your slightly protruding abdomen. The two of you just stood there for a while, taking in all the fresh air you could before someone called out to the both of you. 

The two of you glanced at each other before looking at Warren, who was sweating and panting like a dog in need of water. 

“Mira! We need you!”

Mira let go of you but looked back at you, eyes swimming with unspoken unconcern. You smiled and gestured for her to go. 

“Go,” you whispered, nodding your head towards Warren, “go find the council members.”

She smiled before following Warren into the guildhall. Yous sighed before turning back, staring at the horizon once more. The cool breeze  You smiled to yourself, the first real smile you’ve felt in days. 

“Laxus would love how this day looks…”

----

You were disoriented, the confusion caused your stomach to start to flip on itself. The baby definitely didn’t like the ride, no matter how smooth Carla tried to make it. You groaned as you tried to push yourself up from… the rock? You glanced around, only to find yourself in an unfamiliar place. You looked down to find yourself, surrounded by the Thunder Legion and Old Man Yajima, who was also laying on the ground, still unconscious. You gasped and stood up as quick as you could without upsetting your stomach and your baby anymore. The wind around you was blowing all around you, as in the distance, you could see a large building in the distance. You took a couple of small steps, squinting your eyes as you got a better look at the emblem sitting front and center of the castle. 

Tartarus. 

You gasped as you looked around to find your guildmates appearing all around you, coming from Cana’s cards. That’s when the final moments came back to you, you were sitting inside Laxus, holding his hand as Porlyusica administered something to help ease his pain. That’s when the door slammed open and you turned to find Cana running inside. Before she could explain herself, she had already placed all of you in the cards. She then handed them to the three exceeds, putting herself in a card as well, right before the whole guild hall blew up. Cana saved the entire guild’s lives just in time. 

“CHAAAAARGE!!!”

You quickly looked up, seeing an army of Tartarus soldiers, headed straight for you and your entire guild

“Y/n!” 

You turned around to see Cana looking back at you, holding her cards as she began to fight off the soldiers.

“You and the wounded get a safer place, you can’t fight in your condition!” She said, glancing down at your slightly protruding abdomen. 

You looked down at yourself before looking back at Cana, who was waiting for you to move. You just shook your head at her concern before cracking your neck. As you did that, the clouds above began to move as your eyes began to glow white. Your fingers twitched with bright, blue-white lightning, the most powerful type that you can control. The guild and even the soldiers glanced up at the changes in the weather, The wind began to blow all around, centering around you. You raised your hands high as thunder sounded off in the sky. 

“Thunder Clap!” You yelled, bringing your hands together in front of you in a swift motion. 

The loud clap echoed into a large soundwave which knocked down all the incoming soldiers that were closing in.  You turned your head and smirked at Cana, who just smirked back at you. You could feel Prolysica’s disappointment glaring right at your back but you couldn't sit back. Not when your entire guild was giving everything to save the kingdom and magic in this world.

“I think we’ll be just fine Cana, worry about getting into their guildhall!” You yelled, before summoning a bout of lightning from the skies to take on some more soldiers. 

She nodded at you before charging ahead, taking down more soldiers as she went. You took a deep breath before looking at the oncoming soldiers. Your eyes went white once more before as you took a crouching stance, lighting appearing at your fingers. 

“Let’s do this,” you whispered to yourself. 

You knew you couldn’t go all out, so you needed to take out as many as you can and save enough energy in case you needed to move the Thunder Legion and Old Man Yajima. 

---

You collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily. You could hear Porlyusica exclaim, running over to you. Your magic power was greatly reduced since you have another lifeform feeding off of you. So you couldn't hold your own in a battle as long as you could anymore. After Tartarus activated Alegria, and someone somehow found a way to let you guys go. You immediately found yourselves surrounded by soldiers, and you were the only functioning wizard for miles, everyone getting separated in the rubble. So you had to fight them off, and you were already tired from the previous fight.

“You pushed yourself too hard! Now, look at you!” She turned you to your back, using her stethoscope and using her hand to feel around your abdomen. 

You could the ground rumble under you, the tiny stones jumping up and down. You turn your head to find even more soldiers headed your way. You tried to push Prolyuisca away from you, you had to keep fighting. But as soon as you did that, you could feel something cramp up painfully in your lower abdomen. The grip there, caused you to gasp painfully and lay back down, curling yourself into a fetal position. You pushed your coils out of your face as you glanced at the incoming soldiers, they were getting closer and closer. 

You took another deep breath and tried to sit up but this time, Porlyusica pushed you back down. 

“Lay back down! You pushed yourself too hard and now you baby could be in danger!”

“They’re coming, and we don’t have an offensive wizard anywhere around us! I have to fight through it!”

The pain only intensified every time you tried to move, your efforts going for naught. You could feel tears fall down your eyes, God was this it? You had no idea where your guild was, the entire Tartaros castle laid to rubble, and you couldn't get up anymore without endangering you and your unborn baby. 

That’s when you heard it. 

Lightning. 

The both of you glanced up, to where the soldiers were coming to only find them all taken down in one fell swoop, struck by yellow lighting. Once the smoke cleared, only one man was standing. 

Your man. 

 You gasped, feeling tears of happiness come to your waterline. He was shirtless, and you could see his body sweating even more than usual. He then turned his body halfway, looking down at you and Porlyusica. He just gave you his signature smirk before facing forward once more. 

“Take care of her. She stressed her and the little one too much.”

And with that, and a stroke of lightning from the sky, Laxus was gone. 

“LAXUS!!”

And that was the last thing you said before fainting from all the fighting and stress. 

---

You took a deep breath, smelling antiseptic and disinfectant. A hospital? Being your first thoughts, shifting about slightly. You could feel a thin blanket on top of you as you slowly opened your eyes, before squinting due to the bright lights above you. 

Yep, definitely a hospital. You thought. 

You took another deep breath before pushing yourself up, still feeling some soreness from the battle. Once you were setting up, you tensed up slightly as you heard a noise right beside you. A snore. You glanced to your left, before melting at the sight before you. 

Laxus was sitting right beside you, looking so much healthier than the last time you saw him. The color in his skin was back., which means that while you were asleep, Porlyusica must have gotten the blood to make the antidote. Currently, he was sitting in a hospital chair, which was tiny by the way so his very large body was stuck cramped in it. The sight was almost comical to you but the thought and gesture caused you to smile sweetly. You reached over to him, before taking his hand, stroking over his knuckles with your thumb. As you did that, you could hear him jump in his sleep, his snores going a higher octave for a moment before his own eyes began to open slowly. 

You smiled at him, “Morning sleepyhead,” you teased. 

His eyes widened. Your voice pulled him out of his sleepiness as he realized you were awake. He jumped out of his seat and wrapped his large arms around you, placing his head in your neck. You giggled at his actions before hugging him back, laying your head on his shoulder, taking a long whiff of his cologne. The two of you stayed like that for a long time, just staying there hugging each other. You could feel tears falling from your eyes, starting to make a damp spot on his shirt. You sniffled a couple of times, you had him back. You had your Laxus back and he was okay. 

“God I was so worried about you,” you choked on the lump in your throat, tightening the grip around his neck. 

You could hear him chuckle, “funny, I was gonna say the same thing about you, well the both of you.”

You could feel his arms slide down your back before going around your waist, his hand landing on your abdomen. You smiled at his actions, before moving your hand on top of his. With his other hand, he scooped you under your legs. He picked youtube and placed you on top of his lap, still holding you close to his body. You then leaned against his chest, feeling his heartbeat out of his chest. Both of your hands are still on top of your abdomen. 

“I’m pregnant.”

“I know. I heard everything you said.”

You smiled sadly, “I had a better way to tell you.”

You played around with the buttons on his shirt absentmindedly, more focused on the way he took a deep breath once you said that. 

“Is that so? Tell me about it.”

“Well, first I was gonna cook this big ass dinner…”

And the two of you stayed like that, relishing in each other’s touch until the Thunder Legion came to visit you. From there, the five of you made plans for your next move. Where to go, what you would do next.

-

[Taglist]

@perzawa

[beyondxmeasure]

Thank you to my lovely mutuals, @thebreadvansstuff and @dontworrylouis for tagging me in this challenge. I don't always do these types of things, but I saw it going around, and it got me thinking! So thanks for that!

Probably my number one goal is to keep myself accountable no matter what I put on this list and be able to cross everything off this time next year. We shall see, won't we... But for actual, tangible goals, here goes...

Complete my Big Bang in under 50K words. I've been working so hard this year at being a more concise writer. For some reason, it's easier for me to write tens of thousands of words than it is to just write one thousand.

Write fewer words in a more impactful way. Speaking of keeping it short and sweet, I want to tell a story well from start to finish in under 5K. One-shots, ficlets, drabbles, etc. I'd also love to figure out how to be a better writer faster and complete (more/shorter) works in less time.

Post outside of fic fests. I've literally only posted my work within fic fests and I think it would feel nice not to have the pressure of a deadline looming over me.

Complete my Fitness Instructor Harry fic. This will be my first ongoing chaptered fic that I post. I've only ever posted completed works, so it will be interesting to see how it goes to post something over time.

Finish other WIPs I've had on the back burner. Currently, I have at least 27 fic ideas between both fandoms I write for that I've been kicking around for the past two years. I want to finally turn at least some of those into finished works.

Advent Fic. Speaking of back burner WIPs, there was an idea I had in back December that I was really excited about but never made it past the brainstorming stage. I’d like to made that into my first Advent fic.

Sign up for fewer fic fests. My last three goals sort of lead up to this. In order to focus on my other writing that I already have going, I need to stop putting new things onto my plate. Of course, if I can make something already in-progress work for a fest, then mayyyybe.... but I tend to over-commit and put far too much pressure on myself in general for something that is supposed to be my fun escape from real life.

Help my Eroda Fic Fest idea to become a reality. Yeah, so I know I just said less fic fests... But it doesn't count if I create the fest myself, right? Right. Sure!

Tagging randomly... @homosociallyyours @littleroverlouis @beanno28 @reminiscingintherain @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @lightwoodsmagic @scrunchyharry @beelou @jaerie @jacaranda-bloom @kingsofeverything @crinkle-eyed-boo @creamcoffeelou @disgruntledkittenface @dinosaursmate @bearmustard @greenfeelings @larry-hiatus @larrysballetslippers @solvetheminourdreams

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

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Hi! First of all, thank you so much for running this blog, It's become one of three reasons why I haven't yet committed arson (I jest but the Feeling is true). [Hee, hee, hee.] I have a rec for you! It's called "wholesome life usurp immediately" by comfect on ao3 and it's. So good. It's unfinished but the author updates it literally every other day if not faster! It's a lovely fic, I hope you enjoy it. 🌻

Wholesome Life Usurp Immediately

by Comfect (T, 55k, yunmeng sibs, qingli, wangxian, WIP)

Summary: Wen Qing examines Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses and has a cure for her poor cultivation.

Now there are Three Prides of Yunmeng.

Everything kind of fixes itself from there.

~*~

hello mojo!! I would really like to recommend standing still (but we keep going) by lwjromantics!! it's really good!!

standing still (but we keep going)

by lwjromantics (justfantaestic) (T, 5k, wangxian)

Summary: Lan Wangji supposed that if having to take care of little A-Yuan and Mo Xuanyu and having to look at the reminders of Wei Ying in their habits and mannerisms was punishment for his actions, he would willingly take it and flay his own back open.

— There are children in the Burial Mounds.

~*~

hii mojo! I just read this cute fic and I loved it so I wanted to rec it :) 

Word Up, Talk the Talk

by Larryissocute (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary:  It wouldn’t have been a problem (it really wouldn’t) if they weren’t best friends. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know what good deeds he did in his past life to be blessed with Lan Wangji as a friend nor does he know what evil things he did to be cursed with being only a friend to Lan Wangji.

Or the one where Wei Wuxian kisses Lan Wangji and then runs away.

~*~

Hey! Love your account — and proud of you for taking the hiatus you needed.  [Lol - it was really nice!]  Idk if you take fic recommendations, but I'd love to rec Roots by ardenrabbit. Fantastic characterization, I really love it!

Roots

by ardenrabbit (E, 46k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  After Wei Wuxian's duel with Jiang Cheng, he finds that stab wounds aren't so trivial when he doesn't have a core to heal them. He wakes to find Lan Zhan in the Burial Mounds with him, already beloved by the Wens and making himself at home. When Lan Zhan tells him that he wants to stay and offers more help than Wei Wuxian knows how to accept, he fears that it's only too good to be true.

Lan Wangji knows that Wei Ying is doing the right thing, and he couldn't live with himself if he let him do it alone. For everything Wei Ying has sacrificed, Lan Wangji is determined to give something back to him.

Hanguang-Jun has turned his back on the clans to join the Yiling Wens and their demonic cultivator leader, and every clan has a different opinion on the matter.

~*~

Hello! I wanted to rec a fic on ao3 called "Restoration" by jelenedra. It's complete, an alternate universe of the sunshot campaign told nonlinearly. It has strong fairy tale and fae elements, with a touch of mystery. Bit of a fix it. Some delightful one liners, and the final ending imagery is just LOVELY. The fic deserves much more love. There's also some YilingWei, wwx not raised by Jiang, and sentient Burial Mounds elements. Enchanting read that keeps you enthralled and curious and intrigued.

Restoration

by jelenedra (M, 85k, wangxian)

Summary:  They say he was thrown into Luanzang Gang by the man who killed his parents; they say that he is an immortal cultivator who had been in a deep trance until the Wen sect disturbed his rest and incurred his wrath; they say that he is the fierce corpse of a cultivator who had somehow regained his mind and his spiritual powers.

When Lan Wangji sees him for the first time, he understands why people talk.

Meng Yao wants safety. Xue Yang wants vengeance. The Sunshot Campaign wants victory. Yiling Laozu provides, for a price.

~*~

I usually read all your recommendations. Thanks for gathering all good recs of wangxian. I am in love with every single story your recommend especially the favorites. [I’m so glad!]  I just wanted to suggest a fic i came across while searching for phoenix!wwx. Its a new story I think as author has published it today. The first chapter was very interesting that i thought ill recommend it you and know your opinion. The legendary phoenix and his dragon -Devipriya and Hidden Path to Love by ShadowTenshiV

Hidden Path to Love

by ShadowTenshiV (G, 78k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wei Ying is a servant working at the Gusu Lan castle. One day he enters through a secret passage way connected to the library where he meets a Lan for the first time. He may have left quite an impression, gaining the other´s attention and slowly becoming friends. They would like to become something more, but a servant can´t be with a prince, but maybe his secret can change that.

~*~

hello mojo! i was wondering if I could make a fic rec? it’s called “and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow” by izanyas. it used to be on ao3 but the author has since moved it to eir own website and has started posting updates there. i was wondering if this could also act as a signal boost bc some old readers on ao3 might not have known that it is now on another website.   Author's been through a tough time so I think it deserves a lot more love.

For new readers, please mind the warnings in the prologue and the beginning of each chapter! it’s omegaverse and a very heavy read as it deals with (possible spoiler) off-screen rape that results in an unwanted pregnancy, as well as secondary gender oppression which runs deep, but for people who can bear it the writing, worldbuilding, and emotions are truly spectacular.

and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow

by izanyas (E, 270k, wangxian, WIP, link is to WordPress rather than AO3)

Summary: Cangse Sanren was the first of her kind to become a cultivator. Talented, passionate, free-spirited, she bested everything that ever came her way until the very end.

Jiang Fengmian refuses to see her son deprived of that same freedom.

~*~

Hello Mojo! I dunno if this's been recced before, but here's another ficrec for you? It's complete, on ao3, "The Third Young Master of Qishan Wen" by KouriArashi. It's 'if wwx was raised by dafan wen, but gets recognized as 3rd heir due to his skill' scenario. Some really nice banter and characterization. Wwx and lz get together before the sunshot campaign. Story follows the live action but diverges into au, and does some cool callbacks to original canon. Love Meng Yao in this!  [Oh, I know KouriArashi from my last fandom, I love her works!]

❤️The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen

by KouriArashi (T, 139k, wangxian, my post)

Summary:  The fic where Wei Wuxian is adopted by the Dafan Mountain Wens instead of the Yunmeng Jiang.

~*~

Hi Mojo! I can count the number of times I’ve spoken on Tumblr on one hand (I’m shy heh) but I found this fic that I think you and others would really like? I’m a sucker for emotional hurt/comfort and this was just too sweet for me not to share (did I go through 20 pages of bookmarks just to make sure you don’t already have it? Maybe …) [Aww, you can do a sidebar search in the bookmarks for the author’s name.  But I hope you found other good fics by carding through the whole catalog!]  It’s “Close Your Soft Eyes” by timetoboldlygo! I also wanna say thank you for all the hard work you put into this blog! It’s a treasure beyond compare. :D [Thank you so much!]

Close Your Soft Eyes

by timetoboldlygo (G, 12k, wangxian)

Summary:  When Lan Wangji woke, the first thing he noticed was the slip of paper, folded and tucked between his index and middle fingers, not Wei Wuxian’s absence. His fingers trembled as he unfurled the paper. A donkey with a little smile beamed down at him.

-

On the nights that Wei Wuxian was gone, Lan Wangji woke to gifts on his pillow.

~*~

Hey Mojo! I love your blog it is beyond awesome! [Thank you!]  I was wondering if you would consider reading JaenysBloodcourt series "A Bond to Takes us home"? The summary is weird but I like the fics and would love to hear your opinion on LWJ POV (it's part 2). Part one is Mingxian but part two (Wangxian) reads as a standalone for the most part. Anyways, thank you for all your hard work! <3 [I’ll put it on my list!]

A Bond to Take Us Home

by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 10k, mingxian - nmj/wwx, wangxian, series in progress)

Summary:  Wei Wuxian has two soulmarks. He has two soulmates that seem to be the opposite of him. During his first life he meets both of them, loves only one and longs for the other. In his second life, the one he loved first is dead, and the one he pined after is pining after him.

These are the many tales of his soulmates and the raucous they made across the cultivation world.

Some are dark, some are light. Beware.

~*~

I forgot to send this in for Mother's Day a few weeks ago, but have you read dragongirlG's "into the light of a dark black night"? It's a short canon divergence where Mama Lan escapes the Cloud Recesses after spending one last, heartbreaking night with her sons. It's so beautiful and bittersweet! [Oh, ouch.  I just read this author’s time travelling juniors au, but hadn’t seen this one.]

into the light of a dark black night

by dragongirlG (T, 3k, Madam Lan & sons)

Summary:  The night that Wu Yuhua, formerly known as Madam Lan, plans to escape from the Cloud Recesses, she runs into an unexpected complication.

That complication comes in the form of her younger son A-Zhan running up to her door and kneeling in front of it, hushed whimpers escaping from his throat.

Wu Yuhua knows it's not the full moon, knows that it's not the one day a month she's allowed to see her children—but like hell is she going to leave her six-year-old son out there trying to stifle sobs in the snow.

She opens the door. "A-Zhan," she says, bending down and reaching out a hand. "Come in, my sweet boy."

On a snowy night in the dead of winter, Wu Yuhua, formerly known as Madam Lan, unexpectedly spends one last night with her sons before escaping from the Cloud Recesses.

~*~

Hello queen I’d like to recommend for ur follower rec posts Avatar: The Untamed Waterbender by KouriArashi. Banger of an ATLA au, def the best one I’ve seen. It’s a WIP but the author updates pretty regularly and it’s all around an A+ fic [Oh, yes, I’ve been waiting for this one to finish before I jump in.]

Avatar: The Untamed Waterbender

by KouriArashi (T, 123k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  You know the drill. Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

100 years later, Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli find Wei Wuxian sealed in an iceberg.

Featuring: avatar WWX, waterbending JC, firebending Wens, airbending Lans, earthbending Nies and Jins, Jiang Yanli in possession of the brain cell, et cetera.

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

[tomionefinds]

Samhain / Halloween Fics

Some thing wicked this way comes.

The Black Veil by NerysDax E/Ma | One Shot | 16k Samhain: When the veil's at its thinnest, the impossible will occur. Up is down, down is up. Everything can be achieved by those the Goddess values.

Samhain by knittedcoffee T | One Shot | 3k Tomione Au: Samhain. Tom is the Fairy King of the Otherworld, and on Samhain, he gains the ability to enter our world. "Best not to go in there, little one," a cold baritone voice warned. The spell broken, Hermione whipped her head around, but was unable to identify the speaker. "Who said that?" "A friend . . . or a foe. It depends upon how you look at it."

Hell Can't Wait by Mercurysflame E/Ma | WIP | 36k Thanks to Draco Malfoy, procuring Hermione Granger for Lord Voldemort becomes top priority when he needs her for a series of Dark Magic rituals that just so happen to align with the nine circles of Hell.

King of Nothing by NinjaFairy M | WIP | 7k As a child, strange creatures visited me. The left me gifts, sung me songs; they adored me. One day, an odd boy arrives and vows his revenge on me, then vanishes without a trace. Years go by, and on Samhain night, I wake up to a fey nightmare. I will do anything to survive this labyrinth. Anything. I wonder if he knows that.

Autumn Goddess by WildKitsune E/Ma | One Shot | 8k Hermione sneaks into a pureblood Samhain gathering to get information on Death Eater movements. What will happen when she is given a key role to play in their ancient rite? Will she ever leave again?

Miscalculation by Spork_in_the_Road T+ | One Shot | 7k AU where Tom Riddle is a student in the 90s

The Mysterious Castle by tellmesomethingnew M | One Shot | 9k Tom, the brother she never knew she had, was a man with two sides to him, and Hermione is the only one alive to see both. Just when everyone is finally starting to act like a family, they’re invited to the exclusive, annual Samhain Masquerade ball held at the old Hogwarts castle many have rumored to be haunted. While Tom and Hermione fight for the strange, unnatural feelings that they can’t help but feel for one another, Hermione begins to see strange things while attending the ball. The interesting part? All of the strange happenings seem to point their fingers at Tom.

Sleepless by Artemis1000 T | WIP | 29k The night of Halloween is also the night of Samhain Lore, when the veil between the world is the thinnest and ancient magic reigns. In this night, Hermione has a mysterious encounter on the Astronomy Tower with Tom Riddle. A figment of her imagination or..

My Soul to Keep by TheCorrosivePen M | Complete | 12k In which Tom Riddle is not quite a ghost, Hermione Granger just wants to live past midnight and things most definitely do go bump in the night.

A mix of dark fairy tale, gothic horror and psychological thriller. When Hermione meets an alluring stranger at the All Hallows Eve Ball, she has no idea how much her life will transform in a matter of hours. Hours that may just be her last. A Halloween themed short story, just for the chills and thrills. Already complete as usual. New section every other day until the 31st.

Mistress of Halloween by Mariico G | One Shot | 13k On Halloween night, there are candies and happy children, but there are also monsters.

Quiet Little Voices by nauticalparamour M | One Shot | 5k A little historical, witch trial AU for Halloween! Hermione has a dangerous, uncontrollable power inside of her, one that she can't quite put a name to, until she meets with the village's minister, Tom Riddle. Will this end up being a blessing or a curse for Hermione? One-shot. Complete!

On Halloween, of all nights by Meowmers T | WIP | 2k She just wanted to spend her Saturday with some overpriced coffee and a nice, long, scorching hot bath. Instead, she was dealing with the end of the world. In her bath robe. Zombie AU. Tomione. Modern.

Melting Hearts by EarlGreyPanic E/Ma | One Shot | 4k It's Halloween and Hermione decided to trick-or-treat at Professor Riddle's home. She definitely got more than she bargained for.

Diabolus Est Cormeum by summersaults16 T+ | One Shot | 4k Already on his deathbed, Hermione finds out the truth about her grandfather’s past and the price she must pay when the Devil himself pays her a visit. “I am called by many names. To most, I might be known as Satan, while others call me Lucifer, but for now…. You can just call me Tom.”

Treat by PenelopeGrace M | One Shot | 2k Trick or Treat?

Post-Epilogue + Tomione + Halloween AU.

Eyes to fall into by OverlyInvestedFangirl T+ | One Shot | 2k Behind those angelic looking eyes is a devil inside, but when those eyes are set on her, how can Hermione resist the force of their possessive pull.

Reflection by uleanblue T+ | One Shot | 1k The sound is so faint it almost doesn't register at first.

Any Other Verse by disillusionist9 T+ | Complete | 3k His not-quite corporeal form leaned against the opposite end of her workbench, his neck exposed to the setting sunlight, a streak of red-tinted light across his neck in a violent slash. Hermione was doing her best to ignore the way his breathing filled the space between bubbles in her potions or how the air in the room changed whenever he entered. AU. COMPLETE.

13 by LittleMulattoKitten M | WIP | 16k 13 spooky, creepy, and a bit freaky one shots for Halloween and Dulceween. Expected Pairings: HG/TRJ HG/DM HG/HP HG/RAB HG/SS HG/TN HG/TRJ/AM HG/AM HG/FW/GW HG/BZ; Pieces aren't written in outlined order. Parts Posted: 1, 3

The Mixtape: Halloween Remix Edition by Calebski M | WIP | 40k A Halloween inspired collection of song prompted one-shots, featuring Deathmione pairings.

[youremeimyou]

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

[soldouthaz]

hi!! these past few months i’ve gotten several asks about all different parts of my writing process and i thought i’d go ahead and make a full post that i can refer people back to in the future! with the fests coming up as well hopefully it may help someone because i know i always love reading about author’s processes! feel free to let me know if i’ve forgotten anything :) 

DISCLAIMER: this is MY writing process. these are my own opinions and maybe not methods that will work blanketly for everyone. writing is different for every person and you should always do what works best for you personally! 

this post will be split into four parts - before, during, after, and other tips and things to remember :)

inspiration & idea 

this is typically either the easiest or the absolute most difficult part of writing a fic. sometimes you begin with an exact idea and other times you want to write but have no idea where to start. personally i tend to draw inspiration from a few places in particular. writing prompt and dialogue blogs, although sometimes a bit cliche, are a huge help when trying to come up with ideas for scenes and outlines. these are some good ones – here, here, and here if you need some inspiration! pinterest and weheartit are also great places to search for inspiration both before or after you’ve settled on an idea. find an aesthetic you like and base the characters around it, do some world-building, create folders for your characters - this is a good place to reference back to while you’re writing! at this point i just try to pick something that i feel like ‘calls to me’ and leave the rest for later. the last avenue that i use to think of fic ideas is real life. i think of small things that have happened to me or to someone i know and make them much more dramatic and layered. add in some fluff or angst or whatever aspect fits and usually a storyline begins to carve itself!

outline 

once you have an idea, making an outline can help you figure out if it’s going to work for you or not. nailing down the important details and plot points before you begin writing is crucial so that you have a purpose to your scenes, so that things don’t feel repetitive or pointless. when i outline i tend to organize by word count. for instance, by the 5k mark let’s say i’d like to already have established what character A does for a living and some of their interests, and i’d like character B to be vaguely introduced. by 10k i’d like the characters to have formed a friendship and for the conflict to have been introduced, so on and so forth. the plot spacing may differ based on the goal word count for a fic (do things happen quickly or is it a slow burn? etc.). 

next I make a tentative timeline for the fic. I have to give myself sufficient time to plan and to write without rushing myself, but also make it reasonable enough that i can still look forward to it! writing takes different amounts of time for different people, but the more you write the more you’ll be able to estimate how long a certain word count is going to take you to complete. also, as far as advice goes, decide if you’re going to write everything and publish at once or if you’re going to upload weekly chapters, etc. i strongly recommend publishing a full work at once. typically people shy away from unfinished works and it can be very disheartening when there are almost no reads. publishing all at once will raise the chances of your fic being read and shared and will also help you as a writer not to make mistakes because you are able to go back and fix/edit certain plot points as you write. 

organization 

if you have more than one wip at a time, it can be really helpful to have some sort of organization in place. i write primarily in google docs, so i have one master doc with all of my wip information inside of it. i use a numbered chart (the docs themselves are titled with numbers only and correspond to the number in the chart) that has the tentative title, the goal word count, the current word count, which pov i plan to write from, and an estimated posting date. you can also limit the number of wips you have this way.once a work is published i move it from my wip list to my completed list, with the title, the final word count, and a link to the posted story. this part is optional, it just helps me to be able to see all of it in one place. i’ve found this method to be much more helpful than just making random notes on my phone that i forget about within the hour!

research 

depending on the topic of your fic and the setting, you may need to do some research beforehand. if it’s historical, I brush up on the history of it and watch some films or read some books about the time period to get a feel for the vernacular and style, etc.. if the protagonist has a job i’m unfamiliar with I search up what they do, how much they make, where they work, and things like that. it’s unlikely that someone is going to fact check every little thing, but accuracy when it comes to these topics is very admirable and i feel like it really adds a lot of depth and authenticity to a fic. 

another fun activity for this portion of planning is designing the characters. i try to do this for a lot of mine and experiment with personality traits, quirks, and appearances, and to create a character that feels layered as opposed to just surface level. it’s fun for me to figure out their morals and motives and opinions and to play around with those and see if they can be changed throughout the course of the story. an interesting activity here is to take personality tests from what you think they would answer about themselves! then, even if only subconsciously, your character now has interests and hobbies and feels more real, which will definitely show through when you write. there are some for you to take here, here, here, and here, and this is also a good resource.

atmosphere 

(meaning in real life, not the setting of a fic). i tend to produce what i feel is my best work at night, after dinner when i have nothing else to do for the day and i can just relax. having a designated time and space to write really helps with motivation and focus, and can be the difference in accomplishing your time goals for the fic. feel free to try different things like adding music while you write (i write with headphones in and music blasting!) and adjust your surroundings to your liking. put on noise cancelling headphones, stop the clock that keeps ticking in the background or turn up the floor fan to drown other things out, or play some ambience videos from youtube to help you focus. whatever works! sometimes i also create playlists for my fics that i listen to while writing them which can add some more depth to the story too! being comfortable and not distracted are my two main requirements. also, unless it’s for music or research purposes, i would suggest distancing a bit from your phone as well!

word vomit 

this is one of the most frustrating parts of writing but i can’t explain how many times it’s helped me, especially when i’m trying to reach a certain word count. i like to do an exercise when i don’t know what to write or i just have a vague idea where i sit down and just write. i don’t let myself backspace anything (unless it’s a small typo or something minor like that) and i just see where i end up. the reason why this is so helpful is because a lot of times subconsciously our brains already have some kind of idea of a direction to go in or what should be included. though this rough draft almost never makes it into my final piece and frankly doesn’t make much sense, i’m able to go back and read over it and think oh! that’s a good point, i can also write about [random plot point] here! as i think of it.

dialogue 

the very first part of a scene that i write is the dialogue. personally i find it the easiest, and it helps me make a skeleton of a scene where i only have to fill in the descriptions in between. most of the time getting the dialogue written can help to visualize a scene and make conversation flow easily when you aren’t distracted with everything else going on in the scene. a lot of times if you’re focused on what a background character is doing the actual speaking may end up choppy or not make sense when you’re finished with it, which is usually my issue. this method is a good idea to use if you find yourself stuck on a scene or if you don’t know what you want the setting to be yet. if the dialogue you wrote doesn’t fit just right once you’ve added in the rest of the scene, you can always alter it to your liking.

taking breaks 

this is the key to staying motivated for me. if i push myself too hard or write for too long i get frustrated and struggle to keep the flow going. it’s important to take a break when that happens because it becomes very obvious in your writing when you aren’t inspired. you’re more likely to take the easy way out of conflicts and dialogue and it could completely change the tone of the fic. by this i don’t mean procrastinate writing, but definitely make sure not to over-write. writing should be fun, not stressful.

similar fics 

this step is 100% optional, but i find that it really helps me. when i read other author’s fics and i get inspired, the scene really sticks in my brain. to avoid accidentally copying someone’s ideas from their own fic, if i know that i’m writing something similar, i avoid reading any fic with a similar premise during the entire writing process. even if i think i won’t, often times i’ll subconsciously mirror a scene or a piece of dialogue from another fic without meaning to. this is definitely something to look for when you’re reading it back over!

balanced elements 

this step really just depends on the type of fic i’m going for, but i’ve found that fics with some balance to them tend to do better than others. by this i mean fics that have a little of each important element like angst, fluff, smut, etc.. of course, this differs from fic to fic depending on the plot. if it’s a pwp, obviously the main element will be smut. if it’s got some heavy topics in it it may be primarily angst, or a holiday fic might be just fluff. all of these are okay on their own but it’s super easy to mix them together to create more realistic scenes and meaningful emotion in the dialogue. in a pwp i try to add some back story into it, something a little angsty or that gives the smut more meaning than just surface level (unless of course that’s what you’re going for!). on the flip side, you could take a really fluffy fic and at some smutty elements that enhance the love-y feelings from the fluff. even fluff/angst might be fun to explore! my point is that realistically we feel many emotions at once, all the time. when i write one alone my writing often feels like it falls flat and my message/theme doesn’t come across the way that i want it to.

resources 

there is a list of resources and links at the bottom of this post that may help during the writing process! they are ones that I have saved to look back at when I get stuck!

read it over 

this is my least favorite step. at this point, once i’ve finished the fic, i just want to post it as-is. i don’t feel like reading it over or doing edits - i just want to be finished with it. the benefits outweigh my dislike of it though, so i make myself do it anyway. it’s necessary (for me) to take a short break between when i finish it and when i read it over so that i can look at it with fresh eyes, just a day or two at least. the most important advice that i can give here would probably be not to delete anything you don’t like immediately. almost 100% of the time something can be re-written without being deleted, so if you don’t like the way a sentence is structured or the way a character speaks in a certain scene, don’t delete it! just see if you can rewrite it to model what you’re going for better. this step helps me to stay above my goal word count and not to let my insecurity get the best of me. everybody is their own worst critic, but usually there’s a reason you wrote something down, so give it every chance before you get rid of it altogether. i wrote about this here as well.

beta’s 

i’m going to link to another post i answered about betas here!

choosing a title 

when it’s time to choose a title for a fic i usually pick from one of four places. the first is a catchphrase from the fic. if there’s a recurring theme or nickname or description, it may be a good idea to title it the same thing so that readers will connect the title with that detail and remember it more easily in the future. the second place is from a song. there’s a lyric for nearly every different message and emotion, so there’s a high chance of being able to find one that goes hand-in-hand with a fic. the third place i look is in poems. i’m personally a big fan of lang leav, michael faudet, and bukowski, among others, and poetry usually also features a wide range of themes to choose from. the last idea i resort to when i can’t come up with anything else, which is to take a word that you feel represents the fic and translate it into another language like french or spanish, among others, or pick a word that has a meaning that corresponds with the fic. although there are no right or wrong titles, i would suggest to try not to pick a title that’s been used a lot already, or one that you think might be easily forgettable. even if you think it might be odd or not typical, people are going to remember it much more than if it’d just been a regular title.

choosing a summary 

this step is also kind of hit or miss for me! either i know from the beginning what i want my summary to be or i struggle up until the last second trying to come up with one. there isn’t really a right or wrong summary – except for one. my advice here is please, please don’t just put ‘i suck at summaries! just read it!’. people tend to gravitate toward fics if the author seems confident in their own abilities as opposed to someone quite literally pleading with them to read. other than that, there are several types of summaries that i see a lot of. personally i like to use a snippet from my fics in italics, so that people can get a feel of what my writing style is like beforehand. when i write drabbles though, i usually come up with a quick, occasionally witty tidbit of a summary to grab people’s attention. for example: 

a longer fic summary

Harry Styles takes his time coming out to greet them. Louis only knows what he’s seen on file and what he’s heard them talking about, but he fully lives up to the image he had inside of his head. 

He saunters down the front steps of the farmhouse in his Levi’s, brown snakeskin boots curving out from underneath the denim Louis’ sure he had specially made. He’s got on a plaid button-down tucked into the jeans because of course he does, curls spilling out from either side of his cowboy hat around his sunglasses and country-tan skin. 

“Harry Styles,” he drawls, extending a hand to Louis’ manager, “Pleased to meet ya’ll.” 

(from my fic baby blue)

+

a shorter fic summary

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare. 

and louis. 

(from my fic like it’s a game)

+

and sometimes people use both as well, like this one from @falsegoodnight​ ‘s fic, before we knew – 

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?” 

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles. It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it. He hates everything about his supposed soulmate. He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples. 

- 

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

+

and this link has some other ideas and tips for writing summaries that I found to be very helpful! 

posting a fic 

as far as tags and ratings go, THIS PART IS IMPORTANT! all of the steps are in one way or another, but this one is crucial that it’s done correctly. warnings and tags can absolutely make or break a fic. people tend to have very strong preferences when it comes to fics so i try to be as specific as possible without giving the entire story away in the tags. if you’re afraid of doing that, you can always put the full warnings in the note before the fic and tell people to check there before reading. i won’t list all of the possible triggers here but be sure to look those up if you are unfamiliar with some of the common ones. when it comes to tags, you’re always better safe than sorry! i like to tell people they’re free to message me and ask about something if they’re uncomfortable as well, so i can explain the trigger to them and why i tagged it that way and they can decide if they’d like to read based on a more informed basis. tagging correctly saves many people from being blindsided by something they didn’t want to see, and it also protects the author from some very angry messages about warnings.

archive of our own has an extensive support page with all of the info you could need about posting a work on their site including tags, ratings, warnings, co-authors, translations, HTML, and more. you can find it here.

as far as wattpad goes, i am definitely not as familiar with it. i have only a couple of my fics over there and a few translations that people have done for me, so my knowledge is very limited. this link seems to have some good resources for posting with them.

moodboards, graphics, covers 

i feel like the writing does most of the work itself, but a graphic can really help when it comes to the next part of the process, posting on social media. some people like to do moodboards, some people commission artists to draw for them, and some like to create their own graphics completely from scratch. like most aspects of fic, there isn’t really a right or wrong way to do this. i usually make moodboards for mine! i try to stick to an aesthetic or theme, and pick a cohesive amount of pictures to use (typically three, six, or nine so they line up nicely). the pictures i use are almost always from tumblr, pinterest, or weheartit. i put them together using an app and then put a blanket filter over all of it so that it all looks unified. if you used pinterest or weheartit to create concept boards for your idea in the beginning, now is a good time to use those photos and media as well! if you’re curious, the apps i use to create graphics, moodboards, and covers are as follows:

canva (mobile app & website) 

tons of templates to choose from as well as patterns and fonts! some things are locked unless you’re a member but most elements are free! easy to download and share and lots of options to customize and play around with. i strongly recommend the website on desktop or laptop as opposed to the mobile app so that the features are more easily accessible.

picsart (mobile app) 

when i need to make one quickly and i’m not near my laptop (or just need something simple) i use picsart to make a quick collage and put a filter over them. there are some limited text options as well but they are not as advanced as some of the others mentioned here.

photoshop express (mobile & desktop app) 

a step up from picsart, but slightly different elements. photoshop allows you to control a lot more once you know how to use it. there are some nice moodboard layouts here, as well as text and fonts, borders, and color controls. my favorite tool on here is the style transfer option under ‘effects’. a very quick and easy way to make your pictures look very cohesive!

vsco (mobile app) 

perfect for adding filters and things like vignette, grain, and fade. it also has some color controls to customize those. this is typically the last step before i post. and you can save custom presets that you like to use again!

and there are many others as well – almost all photo editing apps and software have a function that will allow you to make a collage or add text to a graphic! i know wattpad also requires a cover for their stories and I believe they have an app for that too!

here are some lovely graphics that have been made for my fics by @lovelylou​, @behisoneandonly​, @tomlinvelvet-ao3​​ and @brickredtoe​  as some examples :) 

and one that I've made as well: 

social media 

once i have a moodboard or graphic, i post the link to my fic on twitter and tumblr. in these posts i always make sure to include the title, the word count, and the summary. i try to make it as visually appealing as possibly by organizing the post accordingly and using fonts occasionally to catch people’s eye. this is the app i use for those on mobile! 

i think about the sizing as well – twitter has set dimensions for its photos and is known for displaying the photos awkwardly. tumblr on the other hand will let you upload up to ten photos of any size, and will display them fully without any cropping. according to this link a single photo on twitter should be 16:9. this page also has some good tips. and as far as i can tell if you’re using two or four photos, i would stick to the square images as that is what’s worked for me personally. i believe canva also has a template for a twitter post too.

write for yourself 

i think everyone knows this on some level but i tend to need to be reminded pretty frequently. if you’re heavily involved in social media and fic discourse, it can be very easy to get attached to what you know people want to see. writing should be a balance though, and you should always write for yourself before anyone else. we’re all free to write whatever we want and, even if it’s difficult, you shouldn’t ever let someone make you feel guilty for doing so. writing is an escape and a safe space but it can very quickly become something that causes stress and anxiety if you aren’t doing it for the right reasons.

don’t stress 

easier said than done, I know, but like I mentioned earlier, writing should be fun. a lot of people here don’t do it as their job and no one gets paid to write fics. these are projects that authors take on on their own time even while they work and handle everything else in their lives and those things should come first and foremost, as well as your mental health. this circles back into my earlier point – don’t let people make you feel guilty about anything like not finishing a fic on time or not writing exactly how they wanted it. authors are real people with real lives too and if things get to be too heavy or too stressful, they’re entitled to a break or to leave if that’s what’s best for them.

don’t be afraid to ask for help / validation 

there are tons of lovely writers in this community and others that would be more than happy to answer questions and give advice. if you’re struggling with something, there’s always somewhere to go to get help! 

however, the concept of validation is a bit trickier than the others. there’s a fine line ;) between asking for validation for a little boost, or relying completely on it. posting snippets and sneak peeks is a great way to get people excited about your work and to get yourself motivated if you’re feeling down, but i would suggest not to post one with the sole purpose of fishing for compliments. if you do, it can be very disheartening if you don’t receive any or the ones that you were looking to hear. in my opinion you need to be at least somewhat confident in your own abilities before you can expect other people to be. posting a snippet is more beneficial for when you’ve got a mental block or are stuck in a scene as opposed to just searching for validation for the sake of getting it.

cliche vs. copying 

there’s also two sides to this argument! you shouldn’t be afraid to write what you want, even if it seems like it’s a common trope or cliche topic. everybody writes in different styles and has different ideas and therefore may provide an entirely different view on what’s been poised as a ‘common’ theme. i think i could read a thousand of the ‘there was only one bed’ trope or the college au’s or the other popular plotlines. they’re popular for a reason and you shouldn’t be afraid to explore your own take on it! no one author ‘owns’ a specific trope. 

BUT there is a clear difference in doing your own take on something versus just copying what someone else has written exactly. the lines can get blurry here but it’s obvious to readers when something has been repeated word for word from another fic or when one too many elements are the same. to be on the safe side, always check to make sure that the specifics of your idea haven’t been done exactly before. 

resources 

+ masterpost of some resources 

+ how to keep readers engaged 

+ helpful tips 

+ 100 words for facial expressions 

+ how to write good villains 

+ good advice  

+ synonyms for commonly used words 

+ using metaphors and references 

+ more helpful tips 

+ descriptions

+ synonyms for ‘beautiful’ 

+ tips for dialogue 

+ writing enemies to lovers 

+ other helpful tips 

+ writing friends to lovers 

+ dystopian writing 

+ writing a realistic argument 

+ ways to cut word count 

+ how to write smut 01 * tw for body descriptions etc.  

+ how to write smut 02 

+ SUPER helpful smut vocab

+ how to write flirting 

+ how to write about grief 

+ even more helpful tips

[yoificfinder]

Hi! Hope you’re doing well! Do you have any recs for Magic AU fics? Thanks in advance and stay safe! 💖

Hi nonnie, here are some fics where they have magic--categorized into HP/Hogwarts AU and Other Magic AUs (I excluded superhero AUs tho as there's already a masterlist for that):

HP/Hogwarts AU

Canis Major by @yuripaws [G, 8K]

Viktor Nikiforov: Head Boy. Quidditch Captain. Outstanding in all his O.W.L.s. Excelling in all his N.E.W.T. classes.

Something about his eyes reminds Prefect Yuuri Katsuki of the strange dog that likes to patrol the corridors with him at night.

darling, we both know by @astoryaboutwar [E, 31K]

You can grow up with someone and be simultaneously better and worse for it.

(Or: the HP Wizarding World (not set in Hogwarts!) AU where they meet as preteens, fuck as teenagers, fall in love as adults, and occasionally find time to magically figure skate.)

Defying Gravity series by rinsled05 / @dreaming-fireflies [T and E, 58K]

Summary of first fic:

Imagine if Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after the demise of you-know-who, started accepting foreign students in an effort for greater unity among wizarding communities around the world. Imagine that, in this changing climate of diversity and social acceptance, Hogwarts also decided to host an exchange programme with select students from Durmstrang Institute and Beauxbatons Academy of Magic for a semester.

Imagine, then, if a young Japanese wizard by the name of Yuuri Katsuki had transferred to Hogwarts to escape his past, just in time to meet a Russian Quidditch player who would blow open the very doors he was trying so desperately to close.

A story of love, magic, and teenagers trying to find themselves.

Falling For Your Charms by Reiya / @kazliin [T, 32K]

Professor Katsuki’s crush on Professor Nikiforov is supposed to be a great secret.

So naturally, the whole school knows

Open At The Touch by @kiaronna [T, 6K]

Maybe Nishigori got ahold of a lock of Viktor's hair, and some Polyjuice potion. Maybe it's all an elaborate prank. With this as his only reasonable explanation, he steps forward, snags Viktor by his robes and tugs him in.

"Nishigori," he says in Japanese, "this prank isn't funny. Your English is better than when I left, though."

"Ah," says the fake Viktor Nikiforov in English, voice dipping, and is he blushing? "What was that?"

"Maybe I got hit in the head by a Bludger," Yuuri muses. Viktor's smile grows ever wider, tightening at the edges. "Maybe I never came home from my international Quidditch competition. Maybe I'm lying in the hospital right now, hallucinating."

There has to be an explanation, mystical and magical or medical, for the best Seeker in the Quidditch world showing up at his door; something besides his portrait, which won't stop talking to Yuuri anyway.

Technical Support by @possibleplatypus [T, 18K]

Research had needed a new field-tester (they always needed new testers, as most Aurors would “test” an artefact only once before screaming to be reassigned), and thus the most decorated Auror in recent history was currently shouting into a modified “smart phone.”

Viktor was quite certain that phones were not alive, so he did not understand how they could be intelligent. He found that when it came to Muggles, it was best not to think too deeply into things.

“THIS IS NIKE,” Viktor bellowed into the thin, rectangular case. “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

The Dance of the Veela by @satbiym [M, 17K] *WIP

Listen, Victor has a lot on his plate, not only is he dealing with the dreaded Veela Maturity in a den of iniquity (ahem Hogwarts ahem), but he also has to find an appropriate Consort for his upcoming Veela Maturity Ball, held during the Winter Solstice, amongst the hundreds of people he is surrounded by everyday.

But How Does He Know?

A Fairy Tale in 3 Arcs.

Viktor is Luna Lovegood: The AU series by seventhstar / @pencilwalla [T, M, and E, 33K]

Magical theory nerd Viktor is determined to win quidditch prodigy Yuuri Katsuki's heart. Luckily, Yuuri is too busy crushing on him to notice his throngs of admirers.

warm-up hogwash series by antikytheras [G, 16K]

Summary of first fic:

Viktor Nikiforov is a genius. He tops the level without having to study and he can perform most spells without his wand. He was the second-ever first-year Seeker in the school, and the first Slytherin one at that. He’s a Parselmouth and he’s tamed the other basilisk hidden in the school’s plumbing. He has washboard abs and really defined hipbones. He’s the only son in a long line of pureblood Slytherins and he’s half-Veela and he can speak Mermish and he was born as Voldemort’s secret daughter which is why he’s prettier than half of the girls in school and—

‘Where do you even get all these?’ Viktor asks, eyebrows drawn together in bemusement. 'I'm not even a pureblood, I'm Muggleborn.'

Other Magic AUs

And Miles to Go Before I Sleep by @orchids-and-fictional-cities, @iruutciv [M, 41K]

Katsuki Yuuri has been cursed to spread misery and grief to those who dare to come close to him. Viktor Nikiforov has been sentenced to wander the earth, unable to die, granting wishes to mortals in the hopes that one of them might give his life meaning in exchange.

They meet in a tempest of April snow.

in distant castles mirrors broke by lily_winterwood / @omgkatsudonplease [E, 7K]

Yuuri had discovered his powers at a very young age.

For as long as he remembers, people have talked in hushed whispers around him, about him. About how the Northern Lights had shone at the hour of his birth, about the stars that had burst into existence alongside him. Yuuri has known, from a young age, that he’s destined for some sort of greatness.

The problem is, he’s not sure what sort of greatness it is, or if it’s even really greatness at all. After all, everyone says that sort of stuff about princes.

in which there is a moving castle by @fireblazie [T, 3K]

When Viktor opens his eyes, Yuri is staring at him with a horrified expression.

Granted, Yuri greets him with that face every time Viktor opens his mouth, so Viktor doesn’t quite grasp the gravity of the situation at first. But then it comes to him in stages: a gradual ache settling in his lower back, a peculiar stiffness in his joints, and, most horribly of all—

He runs towards the nearest mirror and freezes at the reflection that gapes back at him.

His hair.

Viktor screams.

(A sort of Howl's Moving Castle AU.)

My Name On Your Lips by @feels-like-fire [E, 108K]

Yuuri Katsuki has been betrothed to the High King's son, Victor, since he was just a child; furthermore, as an omega, he's forbidden from practicing magic in combat. For years, he's been able to put off the former because the Prince was traveling abroad, and gotten around the latter by practicing with his mentor in secret.

Now Victor Nikiforov has finally returned home, and Yuuri is being summoned to the capital for their wedding. He needs a plan to put off marriage long enough to find a way to break the betrothal, while keeping his practicing from being discovered.

If only the Prince didn't have other ideas.

Roses of May by @cuttlemefishwrites [E, 46K] *WIP

At age five, all children are assessed for talent and beauty in the City of Hasetsu and the other eight cities of the Empire. Every year, five are branded with the mark of a rose before being carded off to the Emperor’s palace where they are trained to become Roses, or sacrifices to be sent every May to the Ice Spirit that lives in the castle at the top of the mountain. Roses never return, except for Katsuki Yuuri, who shocks the Empire when he appears again two years after his departure with a silver crown on his head and a blond baby in his arms, demanding the Emperor step down or face the wrath of his husband, the Ice King. But, not everything is what it seems.

to the water's edge by @ebenroot [T, 84K]

Once upon a time, in a secluded tower that rests upon a cliff and is surrounded by tall trees, there lives a young man that faces a certain conundrum:

Katsuki Yuuri has fallen in deeply in love with a man he has never met.

Your Breath, My Skin by @lavenderprose [T, 5K]

"What did you do?" Yuuri mutters as Viktor takes off his coat and scarf.

Viktor's mouth moves soundlessly for a moment, then gestures for a pencil and pad. Yuuri yanks his way through several drawers and finally finds a grocery list pad and an old charcoal. He throws them in Viktor's direction and shuffles into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. Viktor tugs on his sleeve eventually, like a timid child, and Yuuri turns to see what he's written.

"A succubus?" Yuuri demands, teeth going on edge. "Viktor, oh my God. What did you do?"

Or: Viktor needs to stop finding new and creative ways to get himself hexed. Yuuri is Suffering.

---

ETA - Other people's rec:

A Story of Withcraft and Wizardy by @sophialala1 (She also recs other magic/fantasy AU fics in the replies and here's her ao3)

Magic & Ice by @ajwolf84

when the ice melts in the snow (that's when you'll love me) by lilithiumwords / @amberstarfight

Thanks for the rec, @alistairvt! ❤

[leafenclaw]

For the “Ask questions about my WIPs!” game

@inkstainedfingers97 asked:

“Perchance would you be willing to send me a brief summary of the premises of "Gem" and "Fearful Symmetry" ?”

First of all, thank you for asking! ^^

Gem is actually one of my earliest Mentalist works, one of several character studies I wrote in preparation for another story called Visions (which I was supposed to go back to right after Chasing Storms, but then Kindred happened x3). The concept was quite simple, a long drabble in which Lisbon was pondering all the ways Jane reminds her of a diamond (the dazzling smiles, flashy tricks, cutting edges of his personality, the fatal flaw at heart, etc.). That said, 400-ish words in I realised I was pushing that metaphor just a little bit too far? XD So unless I recycle parts of it for Kindred at some point (perhaps for 2x09, with that subplot about a diamond Jane lost in the bullpen? ^^), it’ll probably never see the light of day and to be honest I’m pretty okay with that. x)

Fearful Symmetry is a different animal entirely. I don’t know if you remember 2x10 well, it’s the episode where Jane gets hit by a baseball and gets a concussion, so he spends the whole episode fainting and having intrusive memories of his father? And in one of those memories, you see him and his father conning an old lady and her dying granddaughter. For some reason as I was watching I started thinking on that kid, wondering what would happen to her if she survived after this. Would she think the crystal really saved her, or would she know it’s a con and resent the Janes for it? I followed those thoughts for a while, got mislaid by a few Shakespeare references, and ended up with a story in which Celia (the dying girl) is Red John, because the application of the crystal nearly killed her and she wants revenge on the boy who lied to her. x)

It’s not a happy story. Written in 2nd person from the POV of an extremely unreliable narrator, it’s meant to be an illustration of how a healthy mind can sink into really unhealthy thought patterns because of a single event, how holding onto hate and a desire for revenge usually ends up poisoning your own life, and (as the title implies) it was also meant to be a commentary on thematic parallels between Jane and Red John, how similar they are, how you just need to fill in a few blanks to realise they have the same nature.

Anyway. x) It was SUPER cathartic to write and I was all set to publish as soon as it was done... until a computer mishap ate half my progress (more than 5k gone, I had almost 12k by then), including a scene I struggled a lot on, so it never recovered. I’m still keeping that one on the back-burner though, it’s one of ten stories across all my fandoms that I definitely intend to come back to and complete.

Excerpt under cut. Trigger warnings for obsessive thoughts of hatred and revenge, graphic descriptions of pain, some internalised ableism, and violent rejection of morals and religion. (There may be other things, as I said it’s not a happy story.)

(Feel free to comment but please don’t reblog.)

*****

Fearful Symmetry

*****

"Breathe," says your grandmother softly.

And you do, one laborious inhalation after the other, even as the wet, squelching sound makes you shiver, and the pain tears you apart. You do, and you clutch the crystal against your chest – because it will help, won't it? It must. Your grandmother says so, and the Carney man at the fair said so, and the boy. The boy said so. The beautiful boy who cried for you, with the golden curls that makes you want to giggle and sigh and feel their softness under your fingers. He said so.

"Breathe," repeats your grandmother, and you do – again and again and again and why isn't it working?

"I'm sorry to tell you, ma'am. You were robbed," says the doctor, shaking his head. "Crystals aren't magic. They can't heal anything."

But neither you nor your grandmother will listen to those lies, because you saw it. You saw the blister on the boy's finger heal with your own two eyes. How is that not magic? So you breathe, and breathe again, and cough up phlegm until even your grandmother pales and shakes her head.

*****

"What if – " you ask, then cough some more. "What if it needs to be inside?"

"Direct application," whispers your grandmother, eyes feverish. "Yes! We could put it in your oxygen tank – that should work. It will work, Celia. I promise."

Of course, no doctor will allow her to put a foreign object in your oxygen tank, not even a magic healing crystal that could save you. You should have known. They never took you seriously, even in the beginning. That's why the cancer was allowed to spread so far.

But you and your grandmother know what you're doing. You've seen it work. And when it does, when you're healed, you will walk back to the county fair on your own feet and kiss that boy right on his generous mouth to thank him for everything he did.

One day. If you dare. You need to heal first, for that to happen.

So you and your grandmother talk about it, and come to a decision.

Forget about the doctors.

Trust in the crystal.

Trust in the boy.

"Keep your eyes closed," whispers your grandmother, a handful of carefully grounded crystal in her palm. "I will blow it toward you. And when I say so, take a deep breath, as deep as you can. Are you ready?"

You nod.

"Now!"

You open your mouth wide and breathe, and cough, and open your eyes because it hurts so much, and dust flies in your eyes and your mouth is burning, your eyes are burning, your lungs, NO, burning scratching burning bleeding leaking painpainpain –

You scream.

*****

"What were you thinking!" bellows the doctor, somewhere on the other side of the door.

Your grandmother is crying, all hysterical sobs and blubbering mess, incoherent words of desolation falling out of her mouth like a waterfall. You want to tell her it's not her fault – it's not her fault, it's the boy's. The lying boy with his lying tears and those lying curls of shining gold you still want to feel under your fingers, except now you want to feel his lying throat bobbing up and down as you squeeze it just as much.

You want to tell her, but they hooked you up to your oxygen tank and you can't say a word, and you can't reach out to her either because you can't see with all those bandages covering your eyes.

Can’t, can’t, can’t do anything, anything at all.

"It's a miracle it didn't kill her on the spot!" yells the doctor again.

You can hear the angry breath he takes and releases, almost covering your grandmother's cries.

"Your crystal dust buried itself in the tissues, scarred her lungs and cornea," the doctor adds, so quietly you have to strain your ears to hear him speak. "If she was to live, it would be a miracle for her to escape pneumonia and infections. But as it is..."

You shouldn't be listening to this. But you do, you do even if you're not supposed to, even if you're supposed to be sleeping, and resting, and recovering. That's what they told you to do, anyway. Rest, and don't bother your pretty little head with grown-up talk.

Rest.

Rest in peace.

"Her last days will be painful," concludes the doctor. "Dying will be a kindness."

Your grandmother's wail covers every other sound.

The pang of shock in your mind covers every other thought.

Until shock turns to helplessness.

Then anger.

Then hate.

*****

You lie on your back, eyes closed as the priest anoints your forehead with oil, muttering blessings for your soul. Your grandmother cries softly by your bedside as you take one painful inhalation after the other. They've all given you for dead already, talking about you in past tense, hushed murmurs and sniffles in every corner of the room.

You don't care.

You're such a raw mass of unending pain. Nothing else matters but the burning in your lungs and the fever in your eyes and the pounding in your head that erases all ideas, all thoughts, all emotions.

Except one.

And the growing thirst for revenge sustains you in a way nothing else – no medicine, no prayer, no crystal – ever could.

*****

You never knew there was an emotion so powerful as to conjure up miracles – but if you had, you would have bet on love.

And you would have been wrong.

Love, in the end, wasn't enough to save you. Be it the love of God with its many prayers all through the night, or the love of Science on the altar of which you sacrificed your hair – both utterly failed you. Even the love of your grandmother only brought you worse suffering instead of the promised peace and relief.

Love wasn't enough.

But hate is.

Hate allows you to survive night after night until a full month passes. Hate allows you to hang on by a thread until breathing comes easier, until pain ceases. So slowly at first nobody notices you healing. So slowly at first you don't even notice it yourself.

Until you do.

Until they do.

"It's a miracle. Praises be to God," says the priest, and you want to tell him to shut up shut up shut up, because there is no miracle, there is no God, there is only hate burning bright and hot inside you, turning the cancer to cinders and coal dust.

"It was the crystal. It gave her back her life," says your grandmother, and you want to tell her to shut up shut up shut up, because the crystal nearly killed you, the crystal scratched your eyes away and even hate couldn't give you back your sight.

"It was the treatment. In a few months, we may be able to graft her a new cornea," says the doctor, and you want to tell him to shut up shut up shut up, because the medicine was never helpful to begin with, they didn't even bother treating your eye infection properly when they thought you were dying, and when you finally get out of here you will never trust a doctor again.

But you don't say a word – because you may be healed but you're still weak, and arguing over what exactly saved you would be a waste of time, a waste of energy. Instead you let hate eat away at any warm emotion you once felt, shield your mind with its cold, hard shell of frozen magma.

Who cares what they all think anyway? You know the truth, and at night you dream of a thousand humiliations and pains for the boy who grievously betrayed you.

[filippoinzaghi]

1, 2, and 4 pls!

1.Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it? 

So I have four main projects at the moment. I have others but they are just embryos, a couple lines written down somewhere so as to not forget about them and work them later on like brioche dough.

That Carraville cuddles prompt

You sent me this one months ago now I think but I’m getting there!!

Progress : It’s about three fourth done, I’m just trying to find a nice transition scene to link what I have so far and the last scene I have written some time ago already.

What I love about it : it’s totally self-indulgent in the setting/context. I don’t want to spoil too much as I want it to be a surprise but the drabble is set in an AU-ish sort when Carraville (and others familiar faces) take part into a TV game show about teams of two having to hitchhike to reach their given destination with barely any money and having to complete different challenges along the race.

 “Uncle Beom-pal” Project

What was intended as a drabble and will probably finish at 4/5k words qzsedrcftgybh. A fic about Cho Beom-pal, himbo extraordinaire from Kingdom, a korean original Netflix show about zombies in the early Joseon era.

Progress : I’d say I’m about halfway done. The more I write and think about this WIP, the more I think about scenes I could add or change, the more I can see the construction of the story, almost like a storyboard. I do have a clear-cut vision of how it will be now so I think it won’t change too much from what I have in mind.

What I love about it : I decided to set the story during the timelapse that happens at the end of season 2 so it allows me a certain form of freedom to imagine what may have happened during the seven years timelapse (the fic is set a year before the story resumes). It also gives me the opportunity to develop further Beom-pal’s layers that we see in season 2 (honestly the best character arc of the whole show) and to speculate on his relationship with the new king who happens to be his young nephew. To give you an idea of Beom-pal’s situation at the end of season 2 : he’s alone. His friends are not with him anymore, his family is all gone. Except for his nephew. Who also happens to be the king. Whom he also happens to be the prime advisor. I try to explore the complex relationship this situation creates because of protocols and royal duties in contrast to the king being just a child and he and Beom-pal basically being the only family they have left. As you can see I’m very invested in this project haha ^^’

 The “Ceci predicted an actual scene of the show     in fic” project

This WIP has been going on since August while I was watching Miss Korea (a truly beautiful show and criminally underrated).

Progress : it’s been a slow progress but I’m almost there.

What I love about it : the characters, who are the secondary couple in the show but who, imo, steals the spotlight. During an episode at the end of the first half of the show, there was a scene that made me wonder what happened after and I just expanded it trying to tie it with the character’s traits and depictions. Find me wheezing four episodes later when like... 85% of what I had in mind ACTUALLY HAPPENED in the show aqzsedrftgyhuji. Anyway, I’ll go through with it even though it is a bit of a canon divergence. What I like about this WIP is that I make the characters “see” one another for the first time and not just a glimpse (which happened some episodes earlier). They are more vulnerable, especially Teacher Jung (his name truly means Teacher so I just call him that) who is your typical petty thug but with some moral code and a good heart underneath. 

 The “5+1 times Nam Ju-ri x Lee Sang-in” project

Lots of projects about korean dramas at the moment but I have watched a lot of them lately so I guess it’s only fair. And it’s also because I can’t find any fics focusing on my favourite characters (usually supportive characters) so I guess I want to be the change I want to see in the world.

Progress : very early stage of the fic, I wrote bits of paragraphs or dialogue for different chapters at the same time, it’s kind of all over the place at the moment.

What I love about it : there are no fics focusing on these two who had a cute, individual, development of their character and who have a blossoming relationship. They are both losers who cares and I just love themn, they deserve more love. This is truly a self-indulgent fic and that’s just nice in and of itself.

 2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Re : the Uncle Beom-pal project.

There are two scenes that appeared to me after I began writing but which gave me so much feels just thinking about it that they had to be there.

The plot of this WIP is basically the young king, on the eve of the day in remembrance of all the victims of the “great plague” (he doesn’t know it was a zombie epidemic, everyone tries to protect him and not tell him what truly happened), asking Beom-pal to tell him a story before going to sleep. The ceremonies planned the next day weighs on his mind and makes him think about his friends and, especially about Seo-bi : a nurse who saved his life and to whom he is truly devoted like a lost puppy. And thus, he tells the king what happened without really telling him. By turning it into a story, not mentioning names but using nouns or adjectives (”The Healer”, “The Warrior” or, for himself, “The Fool”) and just being vague about “monsters” in a far away place, a long time ago. As he goes on with the story, past and present mix together as Beom-pal remembers his and his friend’s journey.

The two scenes are flashback scenes between Beom-pal and Seo-bi right after the last big “battle” against the zombies. One flashback she tends to his wounds and there’s a sort of silent reverence as if she finally realises he’s not just a useless and coward nobleman. And he, on the other hand understands what is probably to come (her leaving with two other characters, their friends) and how he wishes he could go with them or keep her with him but either solution is simply impossible. And the other is their goodbye (they won’t see one another for, AT LEAST, seven years and the guy is still yearning, can you believe). And again, it’s mostly silent, sentences cut short because they understand and they don’t need to say all of it. He’s not being talkative and a lost puppy following her every move anymore and she lets herself be more relaxed, lets her guard down a bit with him to show just how far they have come personally and in their feelings towards one another. Truly cannot wait to make myself cry and for my friend to threaten me to call the police on me zserdtfygh

 4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

He was tired, tired of pretending, of wearing a mask when nothing seemed bright anymore in his life. He felt the salty tears brush his lips before he realized he had begun to cry. He put the barbell back in its place, before it threatened to fall from his soon trembling hands, and he sat on the bench, completely consumed by uncontrollable sobs.

Failure, fraud, failure, fraud, failure, fraud… His mind did not leave him any rest.

 From and I’ll only need to hold you (go back to sleep and dream) – Chapter 4

 More than that paragraph, it was the whole chapter that I was happy with. It came from a rather personal place and it wasn’t always easy to write it but when I was done, I felt a bit better and I was happy with the result. The paragraph above is the beginning of my favourite scene in the chapter which is when two then-not-old Italians have a confrontation. Well… More like Rino confronting Gigi after the latter has isolated himself for some time. And it’s in the dark. Ever since I’ve read Long Day’s Journey Into Night and studied it, I’ve been fascinated by the trope of dark/night setting = when the characters are the most honest, the most vulnerable and the most true to themselves. And that’s what happened in that scene. I was happy with how I wrote it out and the vibes it gives off.

[officialthiamlibrary]

Are tere any fics where one or both of them become an alpha?

Divided the list for your convenience in Alpha!Liam and Alpha!Theo. 😊

Liam

It wasn't your fault by @tabbytabbytabby

When Liam gets hurt during a fight, Theo blames himself and tries to leave. Liam is quick to remind him that what happened wasn't his fault.

[TeenUp / 1.5k / complete]

Finding my way to you by @formerprincess

Theo and his twin brother Mike are on the run and never settle down. They are not made for settling down, not with their past. But an encounter with a small pack changes their way of thinking. And maybe, just maybe, the twins can finally find a place to call home and people to love. Or is their past too much of a burden and can't be overcome?

[TeenUp / 3.9k / wip]

Heartlines by @breakerofreality

When a witch tries to attack Liam, Theo pushes him out of the way. Now, Theo is in a coma, feeling the reality of what he desires, he has everything he wanted friends, his family, his own family with a husband, Liam. The puppy pack brings him to Deaton, who is the only one who knows what to do. But what's the catch?

[TeenUp / 7k / wip]

Lean on me by @tabbytabbytabby

Liam feels pressured to step up as stand-in-alpha now that Scott and the older pack is at uni, but ends up stretching himself way too far and majorly over-exerting himself, to the point where it starts affecting his health—enter concerned Theo, stage left.

[Explicit / 103k / complete]

All I need is your lips on mine by @malec_life979

Both Liam and Theo know how they feel about each other but have pushed it to the side because of everything that had been happening.

So, Theo of course would die for Liam ...

[TeenUp / 5.1k / wip]

Learn to Love by @flyrobinfly

Theo and Liam have to work things out before the new alpha of Beacon Hills arrives.

[TeenUp / 2.7 / complete]

A tale written with fangs and claws by @formerprincess

This is a story of a spark getting ignited when nobody thought it would happen. A story about friendship, trust and yes, also about love. About finding your place in the world and figuring out who you really are.

This is the story of how Liam Dunbar became an Alpha and got a mate and a whole pack to call his own. This is the story of the Morning Dew Pack.

[TeenUp / 459k / wip]

Teen Wolf || Next Generation by @dan13la-blog-blog

Two months have passed since the defeat of the Anuk-ite and the retreat of the hunters led by Monroe. Scott, Stiles, Lydia and Malia left for college, and now it's up to Liam protect Beacon Hills. But Liam is not alone. It is not a true alpha yet, but he already has his own pack. He has Mason. He has Corey. He has Nolan. He has Alec, the omega that Scott has saved from Monroe a few weeks before. And then ... he has Theo. But meanwhile the pack pray to be able to get to the diploma peacefully, on the other hand they know that the balance is about to turn back towards the worst. And it's not just about hunters. Another dark threat is about to fall on Beacon Hills...

[TeenUp / 131k / complete]

A bargain of bloods and tears by @friendlysociopath

“You did die for me.”

[Mature / 1k / complete]

Teddy by @flyrobinfly

“How can I help you today?”

The whole time he was in line, the man had been glued to his phone, probably reading something important or something that was inducing stress if the lines on his forehead were anything to go by. “Uh. I’ll have a chai tea.”

Teddy rolled his eyes and scoffed. He’d waited just so he could talk to the guy and he didn’t even bother looking up. “Never took you for a tea-guy, Liam.”

That seemed to get his attention. Liam looked up and straight at him, shocked. “Theo,” he said, a little speechless, a little breathless.

[Mature / 3.7k / complete]

Supernova (Dying Star) by @GodricSalzaar16

A year after the older members of the pack left Beacon Hills, Liam and his friends have been taking care of things. But when a new enemy comes to stir up trouble, they'll need more than Scott to fight them off.

To protect Liam, Theo plays a dangerous game that could potentially cost him his second chance. But he'll do anything to protect his new friends - even if it means making them think he's gone back to his old ways.

[Mature / 25.3k / wip]

The mountain and the wolf by @glitter-cake20

Aka the famous Desolate plus Epilogue

Liam involuntarily becomes an Alpha. He refuses accept the new wolf and instead runs away, leaving Beacon Hills behind, and takes to a small cabin in the Colorado mountains for refuge, mostly from himself. He subdues the alpha wolf in him... Until one day when he has absolutely no choice but to let it out.

[Mature / 65.9k / wip]

Sculpture in briefs by @saawinchester

Liam’s parents left him the house and very little cash before they scurried away to go live their life of adventure. Forced to be independent too soon, Liam had to look for a means to pay the bills, keep himself in school and put food on his table.

That leads to him displaying his body for people to drool or ogle at while he swerves to the music and for the right price- get to touch.

Of course none of his schoolmates and pack members know about his late night activities.

Enter the ever inquisitive Theo Raeken who comes into the picture with his flirty smirk, stupid perfect hair and hypnotic hazel eyes.

[Explicit / 20.5k / complete]

Second in command by @volsungar-the-mighty

Theo and Liam are having an excellent morning, until they get a call from Scott. Things... go down hill from there.

[TeenUp / 3.2k / complete]

Happily Ever After by @extrasteps

Theo buys a Happy Ending potion. It gives him a 24 hour glimpse of everything he’s ever wanted. Except… some of those things surprise him.

[Explicit / 5k / complete]

Just a dream @kathendale

Liam realizes, it was only just a dream....

[TeenUp / 1.2k / complete]

Responsible by @volsungar-the-mighty

Hayden shows up one day out of the blue, with news that Liam is a father, before dumping the baby on him and leaving. It's up to him to be responsible now.

[Gen / 5.7k / complete]

Theo

Sparks and Embers by @wolfenboyb

Liam has trained all his life to be an emissary, only to find out the spark of power within is too dim to help anyone, let alone a pack of werewolves. Theo is a reluctant alpha on the run from hunters and his past. When they meet the beginning of something new takes form.

[Gen / 3.3k / complete]

Power by @liamschimera

“No, you look at me.” Theo snarled, sitting up as best he could as tears fell down his face now. “You watch me bleed out, you watch me die. You spineless fucking coward.”

[Explicit / 981 / complete] dark

Luftschloss by @ofhamartia

As Liam tries to adapt to being a werewolf and his role as Scott's beta he finds himself attracted to his Alpha, it isn't until they both discover that their Alpha/Beta bond is being affected and they decide is best to keep their feelings at bay. Time goes by and Liam meets Theo, Scott's 4th grade ex-friend who's returned to Beacon Hills as an Alpha. Things get tense when Theo lures Liam into becoming his beta despite Liam still being fond of Scott.

Scott and Theo need to work out a solution before there's a mutual destruction for both Alphas.

[TeenUp / 904 / wip] Scott/Liam/Theo

Be careful what you wish for by @manonisamelon

Back before he was sent to the ground all Theo ever wished for was power, to be an alpha, to have a pack. Now he knows better, knows that power isn’t as easy as it seems. All he wants now is to try and stay alive, try to be good enough to one day be part of the pack and protect the beta with anger issue. During a fight with an alpha gone feral Theo is given power he doesn’t want anymore. Now he has to learn to live with what he had wished for so long ago.

[Mature / 46.6k / wip]

Deal with the devil by @sharkycannotwrite

Theo Raeken’s family was murdered when he was 10, and the wolves that did it took him in. He did everything possible to survive until he was stronger, faster, and deadlier than any of them. He finally gets the chance he has been waiting 9 years for and escapes. He ends up severely wounded however, only to be found by IED plagued runaway Liam Dunbar. The 17-year-old becomes both the bane of Theo’s existence, and his best friend. The two crisscross the country, killing with no discernible pattern and doing anything they must to survive. 

[TeenUp / 33.8k / complete]

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled.)

"It's an enticing nectar, laced with deceits, Piercing straight through my heart-- ARROW" -ARROW, English translation

God, it's already my 2nd-to-last square to write for? That's kinda sad... It's been a hot, what, 6 months since I've written some TC? Truth be told, I was planning on filling "Sleep Deprivation" with Derek, but then a request came along... I still plan on finishing the WIP I have lying around for it because it was really fun to throw that on a Word file. Also are y'all ready for Uncle Fly's wacky nervous angsty wild ride because I guess this is set in an AU-ish timeline where PGS was found much earlier than 2021. This is kinda meant to be set in 2020 because why not, but the one mention of the date would rather remind you of 2019. Let's just say Derek is like your truly's and born at the end of the year. Anyway! The people in the TC server were really excited for this one so I hope I won't disappoint them. I tried some new and experimental things there so I hope it won't be too distracting or too much italics. Btw, can we bring the TC fandom back to life for 2020? It's the 15th anniversary of the franchise and the year Trauma Team happens in!

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Arrow to the Heart

Summary: GUILT getting eradicated didn't mean the staff of Caduceus USA were allowed to roam around freely without risking their lives every minute. Angie, Derek and Leslie all saw that through a different lense, caught between the memories of a dire crisis for Caduceus Europe and the drops spilled all over the operation table.

Fandom: Trauma Center Relationships: Pre-rel Derek/Angie, platonic Angie & Leslie, some focus on platonic Tyler & Derek

Wordcount: 5K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version available here.

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As a blurry ceiling appears before her, a soft, familiar voice makes itself heard.

“Angie?”

Tilting her head to the right, struck with a terrible case of lethargy, her vision finally focuses: it’s her friend and workmate, hovering over her. She has a concerned expression on her face and a notepad in her hands, clutched against her chest.

“L-Leslie…?”

 As her eyes finish focusing, she realizes she knows this place: it’s a room at Caduceus. Why she’s there is vague at best and undecipherable at worst, but her throat is hoarse and she doesn’t feel like asking questions. She can only guess she still has some anaesthetic running in her system, considering the dull pain she has on her chest and shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s me, good deduction,” she says with a soft giggle. “How are you doing?”

“I’m… alive, I suppose…”

“You can thank Derek for that. He’s stabilized you before you’ve arrived there. I don’t know how he managed to pull that out, but I guess that’s what surgeons like him can do.”

Oh, right. She kind of remembers something now…

 Turns out it was all a trap.

 Well, of course it was. Now that he thought about it, something really wasn’t right with how they even got there. They got called for a situation eerily similar to a possible GUILT case, assuming the patient could have contracted PGS due to the former being extinct for the past two years of so. The condition of said patient was declining by the second, so they were rushed together to the scene.

If he went in like it was business as usual, Angie had picked on the negative vibes she was getting from it all, urging him to go slower and be more cautious. Dumb and naïve as he still kind of was, he preferred running around the place, wondering where the patient could be. As he called for one, absolutely divulging they were from Caduceus (with Angie not-so-silently trying to remind him not to do that and exert caution), the only thing he found was sudden, piercing, burning pain.

 “Wait… I… What happened…?”

“We wanted to ask you that,” Leslie replies in a more solemn tone. “From what little we could gather, Derek and you got shot when going for an on-field surgery.

“Ah, I… I do remember that… Turned out that…”

Turns out there had never been any patient, just a Delphi renegade, armed with a gun, few bullets and quite literally nothing left after escaping confinement from the rest of society.

“Do you remember anything else?”

Angie’s memories swim for a moment, trying to gather and brace themselves. Drop by drop, tear by tear, wave by wave, it comes back to her, slowly, surely. She clears her throat.

 Before he ran out of bullets, the renegade cowered away, leaving them with nothing but contemplating their own injuries. Hiding behind the wall of a little street, not too far from the stench of the almost-full trash bins and surrounded by heavy almost-silence, they were finally safe enough to open a light. To his displeasure, as soon as he tried to see whatever’s surrounding them, he spotted two things he didn’t like in the slightest: their surgery kit on the ground, half open, and a panting Angie next to the slightly scattered tools.

The first thing he noticed were the two bullet holes she had in her left shoulder and the right side of her abdomen. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to have hurt a lot of vital components and didn’t delve too deep into her flesh. Still, if he didn’t do anything, even with help coming their way eventually, she’d die on them; and he didn’t plan on letting that course of events happen. Not on his watch, never.

He sent a distress signal from his phone to Caduceus, then turned back to her, already grabbing the gloves and antibacterial gel from the case.

 “I see…” Leslie seems conflicted, to say the least. “At least, you got out alive of this terrible situation. We even expect you to make a quick recovery!”

“My wounds aren’t too bad, then?” Her voice was starting to win over the sleeping gas. Good.

“No! Again, they’d have been worse if Derek hadn’t stabilized you on the scene, but your wounds really aren’t bad. That man must have been a lousy shooter.”

“R-right… Derek tried to…”

 “Angie? You’re still with me?” He asked, trying to get her to stir back to consciousness.

Dishevelled strands of hair move with her quick, shallow breathing. She was obviously suffering, but nodded anyway, the blood already pouring from the wound and staining her pink uniform.

“Okay good… I… I can’t afford to anesthetize you, right now, so… I’m really sorry for what’s gonna happen!”

Her face slowly distorted even further.

“Y… You’re not gonna do that, right, Derek…?” She had an awkward, pained smile full of disbelief on her face.

“If I don’t, you may… You may not make it!”

She shut her eyes close for a few moments, then sighed heavily, slowly. He expected a rebuttal of some sorts, despite how much blood was spilling from the bullet holes, but she instead smiled and gazed at him with drooping eyes.

“…Then, let’s start the operation, Doctor.”

“I’ll try making it as painless as possible,” he repeated to both her and himself. “I won’t let you down, Angie.”

 Leslie’s lips were sewn shut by her retelling of their conversation in the little alleyway.

“To be honest with you… His job was sloppy. The bandages he put on your injuries weren’t straight. Of course, usually, we’d have had a conversation with him about that, but…”

“But?”

“Because of the circumstances, I don’t think we’re allowed to be any harsh on him for rubbing antibiotic gel improperly.”

“Oh God.”

“What’s wrong, Angie?”

“I remember that now. Vaguely, but… I remember.”

 The pain in his chest was excruciating, but that was besides the point. Angie needed him, right at that moment, to be strong and do his job. He had become a surgeon to save lives and what was a surgeon if he couldn’t do so for his assistant, his most trusted friend and ally? Besides, he needed to repay her for the time she helped Naomi save him from the demons trying to tear his heart apart. With blurring vision and trembling hands, he’d do his job, fulfil his mission. Even if it were to be its last, he’d successfully conduct this operation.

It wasn’t like he was the only one in pain either. Angie’s usually soft features were distorted by the suffering he was inflecting upon her by not being able to anesthetize her. Still, as much as he desired Cybil would be there by their side to allow for such a thing, she wasn’t there with us; so it was all on him, with the little he had at his disposal to deal with this.

 “I kept passing out and waking up, only to lose consciousness again. It was… terrifying. I thought we’d both die here and there, again and again.”

“When we found the both of you, you were barely conscious and your dress was half-zipped. Derek lost consciousness before he could finish dressing you back up.”

God, she must have been out of it for her not have been embarrassed to be so exposed in such a creepy context. The circumstances are all to blame on that one.

“…How is he, then?”

Leslie goes silent.

“How’s Derek?” Angie repeats, impatience and fear building in her throat.

The silence gets heavier. And heavier. And heavier.

 The scene was grizzly to say the least. He had dropped blood everywhere his hands had gone for the past minutes. Angie’s vitals weren’t smiling in the slightest, her moments of consciousness getting shorter and shorter each time she couldn’t tolerate what he was pulling her through. It was for her good, only for her survival chances not to plummet to the ground.

He was getting there too: he had removed the bullet in her abdomen and patched that up with some membranes they miraculously had packed in (which, considering they had suspected PGS, didn’t make a lot of sense; but Angie still put them in just in case they’d face Deftera or Tetarti). He was on his way to removing the second one, even if his hands weren’t steady anymore and his vision was turning into a guessing game if he didn’t spend a few long seconds focusing on one object. Still, adrenaline was keeping him running, anxiety and fear of death ringing behind his eyes and in all of his nerves, so he’d manage.

Not like he had a choice anyway.

 “…He’s not woken up yet,” Leslie finally says with a heavy sigh and her hands twitching right under Angie’s gaze. “Tyler was supposed to operate on him, but he broke down when realizing how bad the damage was.”

 Leslie was tenser than ever as she presided to the pre-operation conference with Tyler and Sidney. The nervous glance the former was darting towards the latter just showed he knew how wrong the situation was before she could even speak up about it. She had always hated being a bird of bad news; this wouldn’t change today.

“The patient is a twenty-seven-year old man who got shot twice in the abdomen. The bullets don’t seem to have hit anything major, only grazed them. The few things we need to be wary about are the high risk of internal and external haemorrhage, along with the possibility of him being afflicted with PGS happening as the patient previously contracted GUILT, these being Kyriaki and—”

“The fuck is that, Les’?!”

 Tyler’s voice was oddly serious. The death stare he gave her made her legs shake and her arms shiver further than they had done when she had first learnt of the situation.

“W-what do you mean?”

“The patient’s name! It’s… It’s some kind of sick joke, right?! That has to be!”

“There are no “jokes” of any kind here, Dr Chase,” Sidney intervened. “If we don’t operate immediately, he’ll die. Get ready right now.”

“…Of course, Director.”

 “So… Then… is Derek…?”

Her colleague takes time to find a way to answer. Her chest seems to weigh like lead threatening to snap the rope keeping it standing. During their few years working at the same place against the same threats, she doesn’t remember having seen Leslie this stressed, this anxious about anything, especially not when the life of someone they both knew was the matter. Then again, Angie wasn’t in the USA, when Caduceus Europe had to break terrible news to their American counterpart. She was right there, in the middle of the panic and the tears she didn’t want to spill. And even then, even when remembering how nauseous she’d get just thinking about what could be happening to him, what could happen would Naomi be unable to save the day —

Even with all of this considered, right at that moment, Angie feels like she’s just opened Pandora’s Box.

 Tyler had tears flowing down his face, hands trembling, as he painfully removed the second bullet. It was the first time she had ever seen him in such a state, at least, the first time since Amy had gotten saved by, well… the very man they were currently trying to save, whose vitals kept trying to plummet to the ground as they watched the blood they were transfusing into his veins pour right out of the wounds. The syringe he was holding with unstable fingers had just hit the ground, breaking in a thousand shards and splattering some stabilizer around the crash site.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. Not that she didn’t have her own idea as to what was going so awfully incorrectly at the moment, but she was still surprised by how distressed Tyler was. For such a naturally talented surgeon to panic this way…

“I-I don’t know!!” He screamed, breathing hitching, hands crimson. I just… I just…”

 Before he could put an end to his stuttering, a new party entered the room, dressed in scrubs and already grabbing the forceps on the surgical tool tray.

“Step aside and calm yourself down, Dr Chase. I’ll take care of it.”

He gulped, but nonetheless, Tyler stepped back from the operation table, right as she moved to dry his tears with a tissue.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, I don’t know…”

“Enough, we’re running out of time. Please monitor the vitals for me, that’s all I ask.”

“Will do, Doctor.”

“Leslie, get a syringe of stabilizer ready”.

“On it, Doctor.”

 Dr Hoffman’s arrival changed the air in the OR from desperate to tense and solemn. There simply was the feeling he’d manage to pull a miracle like Derek had done so before their eyes before. In a heavy and serious tone, one that didn’t betray any panic whatsoever, he ended the conversation:

“Let’s save him, once and for all. Failure isn’t an option.”

 “If it wasn’t for Dr Hoffman stepping in, we’d have lost Derek. I honestly never saw Tyler gets this wound up by anything in the OR like that before…”

“That must have been terrifying to see…”

“And it was! We went over it after the operation was over, and he confessed to me he couldn’t seeing him that way. Makes me wonder how you pulled through him getting infected with GUILT…”

 Sidney suddenly entered the room, almost as suddenly as everyone was convoked here, his workplace phone in hand, eyes sombre behind his glasses reflecting part of the neon lights of their lounge. It had been a slow day until now as the GUILT epidemic had been mostly subdued, leaving them with the wiggle room and luxury to wait for a patient to come in; even if that didn’t make any of them think any less of how odd it was for them to be called here so brutally. Still, from the corner of her eye, Leslie noticed something else that was weird: Victor was there too.

Victor, who never came out of his laboratory unless forced to, was there with us, crossing his arms as he walked behind Sidney and laid back against the wall. From the gazes she exchanged with Tyler, she knew he found it suspicious too. If even Victor was there, it meant Sidney was more than deadly serious about this.

 “Is everyone here yet?”

“Victor was the last person we were waiting on,” Stephen said from behind Sidney, even if the questioning expression in his eyes and on his face indicated he must have been as clueless as they all were.

“Good,” he replied as he came closer, putting his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. “Everyone, if I have gathered you all here on such a short notice. However, what I have to tell you is too urgent not to.”

“And what’s that urgent thing?” Victor asked.

“I got a call from Caduceus Europe.”

 The sheer idea of their European counterpart contacting them now, right as they had both Derek and Angie there, and prompting Sidney to call them all in was rising all the possible red flags it could. The air got tenser with just a sentence.

“And what for?” Tyler reacted with a nervous grin on his face. “Miller can’t have possibly called you just for a hamburger recipe.”

“Would you mind taking this seriously, Dr Chase?”

“S-sure.”

“As I was saying, a few minutes ago, we got a call from Caduceus Europe. They were asking for your permission to proceed with a GUILT intervention.”

“Why didn’t they just ask Stiles to do it then?” Victor chimed in again. “He has his own agency, doesn’t he? No need to ask us all for that kind of stuff.”

“That’d be because Derek is the patient.”

The news cut through the air like a hot blade through glass.

“…You’ve got to be shittin’ us,” was all that any of them said about it, courtesy of Victor.

 “I wasn’t the one operating on him directly, that must have been how… It wasn’t any easier on the nerves, that much I can tell you…”

“I’m sure it was. We were all tense that day, too… Tyler kept asking me if he’d be fine. We really weren’t sure if Dr Kimishima could… That’s her name, right?”

“It is.”

“So, yeah, we weren’t sure at all, so we all were super stressed until Sidney told us it’d be all okay…”

 The door to their lounge opened again. As soon as it did, Tyler jumped up from the couch, Leslie following shortly after. Victor tried his hardest not to look like he was somewhat concerned. Appeared before them their director whom, by the look of the traits on his face, was less tense than he had been around thirty minutes before. God had time been slow and cruel on their hands…

“How’s Derek?!” Tyler immediately interrogated, running on legs that had previously trembled under the weight of his worries.

“He’s made it. Barely, shall I add, but he made it. The operation was a success.”

A collective sigh of relief happened as Tyler’s legs buckled up again, with Leslie barely managing to catch him before he’d have hit the floor. They didn’t lose anyone today and, in the end, that was all that mattered, right?

 “Still, with how anxious Tyler was back then, it’s no wonder why he lost his composure when it seemed like there’d be no end to it.”

Angie’s breath caught up in her throat. The painkillers had subdued enough for her consciousness to be back to its usual sharpness, even with the lingering rests of lethargy from blood loss. The IV in her wrist was just the physical manifestation of that.

“…what do you mean by that, Leslie?”

Her workmate’s shoulders tensed as she looked away, pinching her lips, before sighing.

“We…”

 “We underestimated the extent of his injuries…!” Leslie yelped as Tyler’s hands had managed to take out one of the bullets.

“J-Jesus Derek, how could you have still been conscious when there was that in your chest?!”

They both stared, dumbfounded and terrified, at the hole very much close to the heart still bleeding under their watch.

“It grazed the aorta… If it had been a little closer….”

“…he’d have been dead on arrival, yeah. Let’s… Let’s remove that bitch…”

Tyler’s voice sounded hesitant and about to let a sorrow escape.

 The operation continued on with the smell of blood and gunpowder filling the atmosphere of the room. Both were too focused and with too much pressure on their shoulders to let that hinder them in their mission, even if she could notice her surgeon’s grip getting looser by the moment.

“Vitals dropping!”

“I don’t have the time for that bullshit! Inject stabilizer yourself!!”

Without a word, Leslie did as told and grabbed the syringe.

“That… That fucker just had to use his fancy voodoo powers before passing out, didn’t he…?”

“How would you even know that…?”

A familiar beep resounded again.

“V-vitals dropping!”

“…yeah, that.”

 Still, his pupils regularly darted to the screen displaying the vitals. Sweat drops flowed profusely all over his face, more than any other person she had ever assisted before. The more tranquil aura he gave off compared to the failure-paranoid Derek was nowhere to be seen…

The forceps almost fell into the body when it slipped from his hands, the second bullet escaping his grasp and landing near the aorta yet again. Breathing quickening, almost wheezing, he fixed his mistake with a display of cracking down under the fears piling up on his mind. Tears started flowing down from his eyes as the vitals continued falling and falling, the third bullet still doing its damage…

 “Oh my God…” Angie doesn’t have the words. She really doesn’t.

“Turns… Turns out he got shot four times. Your assailant had six bullets on him and they all hit.”

“That’s…” Her throat was knotting on itself. “That’s…”

A memory suddenly hit her.

“Wait, Leslie. You mentioned Tyler supposed Derek had used his Healing Touch on me, right?”

“Yeah. I’m still sure it’s just a hunch he had, but he did. I think it’s because he panicked when realizing the vitals kept dropping further and further.”

“It’s not just that. At least, I think it isn’t… I’m certain he did use it.”

“Why would Derek even do that? He was already injured as it is, he was lucky he didn’t pass out here and there to begin with!”

“…I suspect it’s because he… knew that.”

Her colleague stood there, dumbfounded, before her eyes grew wide and she almost bit her hand in realization.

 Oh no, no, not now! It wasn’t time to pass out, not yet. Angie still needed him, he had to stay awake! Issue was, even with all the determination in the world, it seemed like he wouldn’t have the time to… That’s right! Time! He was one of the few people on Earth who could play around with its flow. All he had to do to save Angie was to draw a star and focus hard enough with what was left of his adrenaline and clarity of mind to finish the operation or, at least, what he could finish of it.

Success: time was now going at quarter of its speed. He saw everything, now: how to remove the second and last bullet, how fast he could put on the membrane and seamlessly apply it to the injured flesh with the gel, how to give Angie her dignity back now that he’d finished on her. She’d be fine, she’d be fine; he was hearing the sirens coming their way, seeing the blue lights blinking.

 However, as soon as the distortion of time started fading, he felt all of his energy crash back. The world started spinning as he finished zipping her dress close, his hand giving up halfway through as it went limp and his other was too focused on rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Something drops from his mouth yet again.

It was no use resisting. The world span and span around him, blurring into one vague landscape of blacks and blues, the sounds gathering together to form a cacophonic white noise looping in the back of his mind. With the tools falling from his hands, he all but crashed on his patient, workmate and best friend all at once, eyelids fluttering as the black spots invading his sight made themselves more and more invasive.

When time resumed its course, all Derek could sense was the darkness of his vision, the coldness of his skin and the taste of copper in his mouth.

 “I mean, I’ll believe you on that one, you know him and his process much more than I do…”

To be frank, after telling all of this to Leslie, Angie just wants to cry. This has all been a terrible, atrocious, hideous mess and she’d have liked it to remain buried inside her mind.

“He’s such an idiot…! He could’ve died, and yet…. And yet he still operated on me!”

Leslie remained silent, but gave her a candid smile and handed her a handkerchief.

“That’s Derek for you… I’ve heard he tried not to make you worried when he got infected a few months back too.”

“That… didn’t really work,” she remarks with a soft of snicker in her voice. “He’s such an idiot… Sometimes, I wonder what stupid things he’d do if we weren’t there…”

“Saving you, it seems. He realized his wounds were less deep than yours.”

“…where is he, by the way?”

“Wait, you haven’t guessed yet?”

 Leslie seems genuinely surprised, even if her astonished expression soon gets replaced with her usual amused smile and bright eyes.

“He’s behind the curtain,” she replies as she points to the item in question with the tip of her thumb.

Angie’s entire face suddenly catches on fire and her weakened condition almost makes her head go for a spin.

“Oh God… Has he woken up yet?!”

“If he wasn’t before, I don’t think he could sleep through all of this for much longer, y’know.”

 Tyler’s voice suddenly rises in the room as his hand draws the curtain open. He gets up from a chair sitting by another bed with that dumb grin of his brightly plastered on his face.

“Geez are you ladies noisy…!”

Dumbfounded, embarrassed and relieved all the same, Angie just stares in complete silence. Leslie giggles under her breath.

“But hey, at least you’ve almost awoken my patient by doing that! That guy’s been sleepin’ for the past few hours!”

Leslie and he exchange a glance, a smirk on both of their faces.

“I think we should leave the both of you alone,” she then adds. “Just be careful about your injuries, okay, Angie? You’re the more reasonable of the two on that front, so I trust you with handling them properly… If you need help, don’t hesitate ringing for a nurse!”

On that, the both of them leave, and she isn’t sure what to make of it all.

 However, Angie has always been a worrywart, she knows that very much, so she still tries getting up from bed. It’s difficult and taking her ages since her legs feel so fragile and her wounds bother her, her shoulder still feeling very much sore. She pulls through the annoyances anyway, rising to her feet while supporting himself with the wheeled IV stand by her left side, gradually making her way to the other bed in the room and sitting on the chair still left warm by Tyler’s presence. Seems like he was there for quite a long time too…

Unlike whatever movie was playing back in her head, her eyes soon lie upon a peacefully sleeping Derek, whose face is still a bit too pale to her liking. She goes as far as to making sure he is doing as fine as she’d like him to: his chest is rising and falling steadily, calmly; his breathing is stable, only needed to be helped a little by the pipe in his nose; his vitals are doing just fine on the screen next to the bed beeping regularly.

Life suddenly sounds very peaceful.

 Right as she settles into the seat, putting the pillow she’s borrowed from her bed on it, Derek stirs awake. It’s his eyelids slowly fluttering back open at first, then a little cough, and finally his vision coming to be, eyes locking into hers. He looks somewhat different without his glasses: even if she’s seen him before without them, it’s still an odd feeling to get, somewhat like an uncanny valley effect. They smile to each other.

“A-Ang…?” His voice is hoarse, which was predictable considering the extent of the trauma his body must have taken.

“That sure is me. How are you feeling?”

“I guess… not worse than when I got GUILT…?”

She’s heard something like that before, albeit differently…

 Right as she settled into the seat, her folder still clenched against her chest, Derek stirred awake. First his eyelids slowly fluttered back open, then it was a little cough escaping his mouth, and finally his vision came to be as his eyes locked into hers. He did look somewhat different without his glasses: even if she had seen him before without them, the time he had spent three days in bed sleeping coming to her mind first, it was still an odd feeling to get, somewhat like an uncanny valley effect. She smiled to him.

“A-Ang…?” His voice was hoarse, which would obviously happen considering the extent of the trauma his body had been put through.

“That sure is me… How are you feeling?

“…like trash… To say I’m putting patients through that…”

“It’s for their good. It was for yours too.”

“I suppose you’re right, Angie…”

 With relief washing all over her, she put her free hand hand on his, mindful of the IV inserted in his wrist.

“What about you never do that again? I told you that was suspicious!”

“I gotta listen to you more often… How are you…?”

He asked that before too. How are you, Angie?, when she wasn’t the one who had gotten infected by a bioweapon. That man has the most skewed priorities of them all, she swears…

“I’m doing just fine. Thank you very much for saving me, Derek. Still, if you could not die on us again, it’d be appreciated.”

He snickers. “You’re welcome…”

 Still, and even with her greatest efforts, Angie feels tears running down her cheeks and wetting something under them.

“What’s wrong…?” He asks, concern lacing his tired voice.

“I… I got so scared I’d lose you!! W-when I saw you operating on me, I… I…. I wondered why you were doing this instead of sparing your energy!”

“I’m a doctor, Angie… I save people, so I saved you. I… couldn’t just sit there and watch you bleed out, in pain…”

“But you were injured!”

“And so were you… Everything’s fine, now, right? I’m here, you’re here…”

She sniffles her sorrow back in and tries giving him a smile, rubbing the early tears away from her eyes.

“You… You’re right. Everything’s fine now.”

That grants her a smile.

“Good…”

Still holding his hand, they fall into a comfortable silence, her arms resting on his mattress.

 For now, there’s no point in looking back at the past and remembering how terrible things can get. She can, at least for a moment, let go of all of her fears and remain serene, in the safety of a haven she keeps rediscovering, by the side of her favourite person. There’s nothing quite like the calm that comes after a violent, red-tinted storm, nothing quite the reassurance that comes after getting terrified and nothing quite the sun which makes rainbow after the rain has stopped pouring down.

Truly, sometimes, life can be merciful and full of light, as long as it wants to shine…

[juniper-and-lamplight]

Recent Reads -- May 12, 2019

It turns out that I start to feel itchy if I don’t do a round-up of my various one-off recs every few months or so? Though there are some new recs on this list too (helloooo, Lix Storm). As usual, it’s a multifandom mix--DGHDA, Harry Potter, The Hour, and just a bit of Sherlock and The History Boys. Recs under the cut, so you don’t have to scroll unless you want to :)  Enjoy!

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency I'm So Queer I Can't Even Think Straight (But To Be Fair, You're Not Helping) - @dont-offend-the-bees - 2.2k, T, Dirk/Todd "'His mind was buzzing, his heart pounding, his lips tingling, even now five, ten, however many minutes later. But if nothing else, he’d got past the phase of the whole holy shit Dirk just kissed me thing going round and round in his head, stuck in there like a bad song. But holy shit Dirk just kissed him.' In which Todd shows his hand, and Dirk takes a leap." So funny and charming that I’m almost mad about it? The Comic happened, we all lost our minds, and Bees was there with fic on the SAME DAY.

A Thousand Butterflies Can't Be Wrong, (But I Think I Might Be.) - electricteatime | @kieren-fucking-walker - 6.2k, G, Dirk/Todd "It’s a lot, he knows it’s a lot, and he almost wishes he’d stopped to think about his answer before just blurting his feelings all over the place. But then he supposes he’s always been a little like that, and it hardly makes sense to change that now. If Todd feels the same he already knows what he’s signing up for. If. For two small letters, it really is a big word." OF COURSE post-s2 Dirk thinks that Todd and Farah will be together and leave him, because historically, that's how things go for him...bless his heart and his inability to cope with Todd's eyebrows.

Leave What's Heavy Behind - electricteatime - 5k, G, Dirk/Todd "A semi-poetic semi-character study of one Todd Brotzman, the lies he tells himself, and the truths Dirk Gently knows." So beautifully, painfully REAL?!? I may never stop having feelings about this fic.

song for the heartsick (better days are near) - embraidery - WIP, T, Bart & Suzie Boreton "Suzie Boreton, rescued from death at the hands of the Mage's goons by the dirtiest woman she's ever seen in her life, faces a question: would she like to go on a road trip with her savior? No, Suzie thinks, but when she opens her mouth, Yes comes out. And so begins the weirdest road trip ever." This is such a fascinating premise, I can't wait to see where it goes.

To sleep, perchance to dream - @flightinflame - 2.4k, G, Mona & friends "Mona is sick, and loses control of her abilities. She tries to hide it, but it becomes too much to ignore." This is? So soft?! And also quirky, and playful, and just plain heartwarming.

the intricacies of triangulation - reptilianraven | @actualbird - WIP, T, Farah/Dirk/Todd "'Todd. Us. Us and Todd. We need a plan for this,' Farah says. Or the one where Dirk and Farah get together (they’re surprised about it as well) and try their best to get Todd to date the both of them in the most roundabout ways possible." In just one chapter this fic had me HOWLING with laughter.

or make a home - reptilianraven - 6.6k, T, Dirk/Todd "Or Todd’s adventures in dating Dirk Gently, the mundanities of which unsurprisingly turning out to not be very mundane at all (featuring, among other things: intergalactic wormholes, regular periods of lying down on the floor, and several annoying habits that concern toothpaste and toothbrushes.)" With a combination of absurd humor and honest emotion, this fic absolutely nails the joys (and annoyances) of loving/supporting/living with another person.

put that baby back where it came from, or so help me - reptilianraven - 7.6k, T, Dirk/Todd "A case drops a telekinetic baby into the agency’s care and Dirk feels...overwhelmed whenever he sees Todd competently, wonderfully, lovingly taking care of a child." Tropey and ridiculous, but in the BEST WAY. My favorite line in this fic is ALL of them.

Though Your Breath Racks Your Ribs and You Throb with Pain; There's a Juice on My Lips for Each Purple Stain - @sexycoinkidicks - 7.4k, E, Dirk/Todd "In which Dirk shows Todd where it hurts. Angsty emotional smut, based loosely on a scene from the play Kiss of the Spider Woman (VERY loosely- no prior knowledge needed!)" Claustrophobic sadness and Extreme Emotional Intensity, with a slight edge of hope.

An Interlude; or, Compulsory Heterosexuality Made Me Do It - @teacupsandcyanide & @gallantrejoinder, - 1.6k, G, Farah & Todd "Farah and Todd did, in fact, make out while on the run. They also both realised some very important things about themselves. But not the things you might expect." Todd and Farah are glorious disasters, and I love them <3 This fic made me giggle from start to finish.

The Situation - teacupsandcyanide - 8.5k, M, Dirk/Todd "Todd raises his eyebrows at him. 'You gotta admit. We would get into this … situation.' 'What, the situation where we flee from the weekly hired goons into a badly aging knock-off of the Ritz, get shut in an empty room with no escape, and find ourselves compelled to make loud, gratuitous sex noises in order to put the aforementioned lackeys off the scent?'" In which Dirk and Todd have wildly different interpretations of Dirk's "coming out," and the only thing preventing them from getting together was their inability to have an honest damn conversation. Sensual and full of Big Emotions, as is only fitting for these two.

The Butterfly Effect (Love Is Love Is Love Is Love) - teacupsandcyanide - 7.2k, T, Dirk/Todd "Dirk kisses his best friend on their balcony in front of the Pride Parade. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Things escalate wildly into identity issues, old hang-ups, anguished declarations of love, and inopportune sabotage of the situation by their tiny bastard cat." This fic left me an incoherent, keysmashing mess. I might have actually clutched at my own heart after reading it.

Harry Potter Midday, Midnight - @aryastark-valarmorghulis - 8.5k, T, Remus/Sirius "During the summer of 1976, between fifth and sixth year at Hogwarts (and after The Prank), Remus goes outside the Lupin's cottage and he finds a big, black dog in his garden..." The character voice in this fic is so authentically teenager-y; Remus is so deep in his own head. I also enjoyed all of the sensory details, which create such a vivid image of the Lupin home, and the feel of a summer's day (and night).

Aural Gratification - birdsofshore - 10.9k, E, Harry/Draco "Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot." I know I’m waaaaay late to the party on this one (as I often am with Drarry fics), but worth it. As a person who listens to audiobooks for both fun and profit, I could not resist it :)

Letting Go - LuminousGloom - 6.1k, E, Remus/Sirius, Remus/Kingsley, Remus/OMC "A number of lusty, intimate encounters. Although for Remus, it's really only ever been about one person. And it's never quite right, until it's right." I love that each of Remus’ encounters is not only distinct and sexy, but also that each highlights different facets of him: forthright, secretive, curious, ashamed, conflicted, joyful, soft, rough, broken, and (eventually) unbroken.

like tea and knitwear - @songofwizardry - 2.4k, G, Remus/Sirius "There are probably easier and faster ways of showing one's affection than learning how to knit so one can make the object of said affections a jumper. Fortunately, Sirius has never been fond of picking the easy route." As soft and warm as a hand-knit jumper, but with just enough snarky humor that it still feels Marauders-y.

Sky Full of Song - @writcraft, read by semperfiona - 2k, 13min, T, Harry/Draco "Draco turns up at Harry's birthday party unexpectedly and Harry takes a leap of faith."  A wonderful blend of angst and humor and realistically messy emotions.

The History Boys Don't you know you're life itself? - Philipa_Moss - 5.5k, M, Scripps/Posner “Dakin thinks you’ll get bored of me,” Posner says, out of the blue, and Scripps says, automatic and habitual, “He doesn’t.” This fic feels so perfectly lived-in--all of the relationships (partnerships, friendships, whatever) are well-worn, complex, and shaped by choices in a way that rings true to life, and to the characters.

The Hour (Guess who watched all of The Hour this winter and was left wishing that there was another series entirely about Lix Storm?)

The Small Hours - deathorthetoypiano - 1k, T, Lix/Bel "Lix stayed at Freddie's funeral, despite her instincts - and old habits - telling her to leave. She stayed for Bel, because she might need rescuing or a shoulder to cry on, someone to make sure she was alright, or at least as alright as she could be, given the situation." A quiet, bittersweet coda.

My thought is not changeable - @lbmisscharlie - 1.5k, E, Lix/Bel "Freddie will return – sometime – he must – and Bel is never aimless when Freddie’s around, not like she is now, eyes intent on Lix’s mouth and one stockinged foot rubbing uncertainly against her calf and their smallest fingers just touching where their palms are braced on the floor." Sharp poignancy and tons of sensory--a perfect stolen moment.

Light gathered in you - lbmisscharlie - 1.4k, E, Lix/Bel "Bel looks at her, sidelong. Her lashes are long, mascaraed dark, and her mouth coral pink. “I did wonder,” she says. “If you were – a Sapphist.” She says the archaic word so delicately that Lix has to laugh, which makes Bel pink up and drop her gaze. “I’m – not fussy,” Lix says. She shifts her weight just so, her forearm brushing Bel’s elbow. Bel doesn’t look up, but takes a breath, lifts her glass to her mouth, and swallows her wine down." Everything about this--tone, dialogue, dynamics--feels spot-on.

The Most Marvellous Place to Get Lost - peninsulam - 8.5k, E, Lix/Bel "It is late spring in Tangier, and Bel feels as far from home as she has been in her life." Gorgeous, poignant, evocative. You know, just generally breathtaking.

Immoral Support - @thisbluespirit - 420 words, T, Lix/Bel "Bel winds up where she always does after a bad day; in the safest place she knows..." This is lovely, and manages to nail their dynamic in fewer than 500 words.

I'd like to explore you - rainbowsuomi - 604 words, unrated, Lix & Bel "Lix’s mind is already somewhere else when Bel tells her to think about it and exits the office, picturing herself in front of the camera, describing bars where girls had their hair cropped and styled with grease, smoking cigars and slipping their hands, elegant, long and white, under flowing, frilly skirts, caressing stockings and corrupting young ladies." A beautifully characterized slice of life (and Lix’s history).

Sherlock Roads, Not Shrouds - verdant_fire | @viridiandecisions - 3.4k, T, John/Sherlock "He's perfectly happy to live out the rest of his life in monastic devotion, feeding John and loving John and provoking John just enough to distract him from what Sherlock did to their kitchen table." Lovely and lyrical and heartfelt (without getting treacly).

Further fic recs | Fic bookmarks

[jaerie]

11/11/11

I was tagged by @phd-mama and @allwaswell16 and @chloehl10 so this is more like 33/11/11 hahaha  I got a little carried away with this but I love answering stuff like this

Answer 11 questions, come up with 11 more, tag 11 people.

1. Tell me, do you like music on when you write?? 

No, I have to have silence.  Or, you know, normal household noises.  When I was in high school I listened to music with the tv on while doing my homework but now.... I think it’s moreso because I periodically close my eyes and visualize the scene or really throw myself into the character to get the emotions right and the music just takes away from that.  I also hear music in a really complex way which I won’t explain here because this is about writing, but yea, it’s too much stimulation

2. Are you someone who plots everything out before you write it?

Absolutely not.  I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve actually plotted something for a fic in this fandom.  I’m definitely a fly by the seat of my pants kind of writer.  I generally have somewhere the fic is going, but I usually let the characters steer so sometimes it vectors off someplace I never expected it to go.  That’s how so many of my better fics have gone.  I did have to plot out As We Were, As We Are extensively because wow complex precise true to life timelines, but that’s really the only one I’ve actually done a real one for. 

3. Do you write in chronological order?

Most of the time, yes.  Occassionally I’ll jump down and write or start a scene that either inspired the whole fic or that I want to get down before I forget it, but I usually write from start to finish.  

4. Do you like to eat while writing?

hahahahaha usually no.  But only because I’ll get distracted and like.... not write.... 

5. Is there a trope you love?

I am a sucker for fake/pretend relationships.  It’s so obviously one of the most predictable storylines but I’ll read every one of them.  I don’t know why.  The misunderstanding angst of it... I don’t know! 

6. Have you written it? (See 5)

I don’t... think so... Is that bad I don’t remember?  But I don’t think I have 

7. Is there a trope you hate?

I can’t really do the sugar baby/daddy scenario... there are a few cases where it’s worked but in general, no.  

8. Have you written it? (See 7)

I think there is a little bit of it in a couple maybe?  And someone asked me to write one that’s still in my maybe pile... so I might.  

9. Can you read your main ship with other pairings?

Depends.  Usually yes because if it’s a pairing I don’t like I just kind of generically gloss over it in my mind a bit?  Or imagine the same description but not that exact person?  But there aren’t really a lot of absolute nos for me and it’s usually related to me not like that PERSON rather than the ship (taylor swift for example, have to really speed through fics with her in parts BUT like I said, it’s easy for me to imagine a likeness that’s not HER specifically. Idk).  If it’s well written then it’s worth getting through it, if it’s not well written, I probably wouldn’t finish it anyway.  

10. What’s a solid NO GO for you?

I don’t have many and most of them even have exceptions so I don’t know what a solid no is until I see a tag that’s a solid no??  And they’re the usual general niche things?  (scat, watersports, idk those things)  Hardcore bdsm-type is a no for me (but there have been some exceptions).  MOST things that are nos for me like daddy kink, I can still read the fic, I just kind of... speed through those parts?  I don’t really have any actual triggers...  I don’t really read a lot of girl direction if they’re both girls.  Which is a weird complicated issue for me because I WRITE IT.  And there are some good ones out there that I have read but in general...?  idk it’s weird and probably has a lot to do with me being sdpofijapsdgjoidsjfosdj about words for vagina rather than it actually being girls.  But to be fair it took me years to be comfortable writing cock and dick without blushing and running off.  I don’t know, it’s something about reading it that it usually isn’t my first choice.  That was a long complicated answer just to say “not really”

11. Do you have a signature move, aka, let’s say for no particular reason, just because, coming in pants?

oh my god.  Yes.  Probably.  I can’t think off of the top of my head but I definitely find myself returning to the same phrasing or words or actions.  Especially when it comes to abo and knotting.  

1. What’s your favourite fic you’ve ever written, and why?

Sisterwives and As We Were, As We Are I think because they are the two I put the most into.  Plotting, planning, emotions, etc. 

2. Pick three words that you think describe your works overall.

Problematic (lol), intense/emotional, sexual. 

3. How long does it take you to write a fic?

Varies.  I’ve written 20k+ in 24 hours and I’ve written 5k in a month.  Really depends on what I’m working on and my emotional state of stress.  

4. What’s the hardest thing about writing?

For me?  Fluff and filler.  And English.  I’ve fallen into a pattern of writing that probably has a lot of errors in tense.  But... it is what it is.  

5. Do you listen to music or anything while you write? What’s normal for you when you write?

I answered this one in depth above 

6. How do you come up with titles for your fics?

I have this terrible thing where I just name a fic and run and then regret it and want to change it once it’s already posted hahahahaha There are a handful that I’ve named after Hanson lyrics just because I think it’s funny... but most of the time there is no rhyme or reason to it.  

7. What’s one piece of advice you’d give to a new writer?

Just keep writing.  Because it’s easy to get discouraged about kudos and attention.  Kudos and attention does NOT equal quality.  It’s still something that I struggle with letting go, but as a new writer it’s more difficult not to see that as a failure.  But my first fics in this fandom still have some pretty low kudos counts and my fics in other fandoms have as few as FIVE kudos.  Five.  I think they’re great fics, but I’m just not as known in that fandom/there aren’t as many readers.  For example, I wrote this AWESOME Brokeback Mountain fic for the Hanson fandom and it has only 15 kudos.  

8.  How important do you think tags are when you are publishing a fic?

*gets up on soapbox* Tags are the most important part of publishing a fic.  I am a firm believer that anyone can write anything the want as long as it is properly tagged.  Proper tagging is the writer’s only responsibility to the reader.  If those are in place, what follows doesn’t have to be tailored to anyone.  

9. Do you write for fests/exchanges? If so, do you enjoy them? If not, why not?!

I have mixed feelings about this.  I used to write for both.  Now I exclusively write for fests and I’m selective about the ones I participate in.  Why?  Well for one, deadlines.  I’ve made the mistake too many times of overcommitting and then nothing felt right and I was stessed about it and just... not good.  As for exchanges... I’ve been burned in the past?  By dropouts and such?  Or by the giftee not liking or never reading the fic?  Or by me needing to drop out for mental health reasons but not because I was writing FOR someone?  I’ve done a handful of pinch hits since I swore off exchanges, but they’re too much anxiety for me personally.  (I have had some good experiences with exchanges though!! Not all of them were bad!!)

10. Which work of yours are you most proud of and why?

As We Were, As We Are..... because.... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FRICKIN RESEARCH I DID FOR THAT FIC!? ALL WHILE WRITING IT DURING NANO?!?!  I put soooooooo much into that fic that I’m sad it didn’t get much attention.  It was written for the Alex exchange so Harry is written as Alex so that’s probably why.  Some people have a big problem if fics aren’t written a certain way.  I don’t know.  I was really sad about that though.  I LIVED in WWII for months with that fic and it will always be special to me.  I’ve even thought about putting more work into into it to have it published somewhere.  I know it’s not like... classic 1D fic quality or whatever but I think the bones of it are strong enough.  I don’t know, I’m probably delusional. haha but I still like it

11. What’s next for you?

Oh man.  Well.  I said I was going to stop writing for this fandom.  But then this rush of support came in and then I started to feel really spiteful and thought that I’d keep going just because of that... and I feel like I’m only just now gaining a following for my fics that keeps me motivated enough to keep improving... soooo I’ve committed to a few fests coming out this fall.  I am also participating in Wordplay going on right now.  The first fic comes out tomorrow I think.  I also have some Sisterwives timestamps.  

1. What fic have you written that you wish everyone would read?

dunkirk fic and sisterwives probably 

2. What’s your favorite character you’ve ever written?

hahahahaha harry from one of my yet to be published sekret fics hahahahaha but I really love so many of them like shifter harry

3. What’s your most popular fic and why do you think it’s your most popular?

By Kudos?  Where Do We Go Now.  And I have no idea.  Because I always have to click to even remember which one it is.  And it was written so fast and I remember not liking where it went but just hit publish because it was a pinch hit... I honestly have no idea.  Someone please give me insight on this because i have no idea.  

4. What’s one of your favorite fan fics that you haven’t written?

I kind of answered this above but I’ll also say The Wilds because it wrote so fast.  I wrote the whole thing in under 24 hours

5. What is your current WIP about?

Ummmmm Some of them are going to be posted on anon I think?  So I’ll just say Thor Harry

6. What is a fic that you hope to write someday?

siiiiigghhhhhhhh my Almost Famous au

7. Do you read fics from other fandoms? Which ones?

I read a lot of Thorki... and random fandoms.  I love to read a lot of fucked up shit just for the shock value of it?? I don’t know, I’m weird like that.  So I started branching out to general tag searches so I’ve read stuff from tons of fandoms that I don’t even know what they are.  I think Supernatural is one I frequent a lot because they have some real fucked up fics. 

8. What author or book has influenced you as a writer?

Sooooo There was a writer that really sparked my creativity back when I was in a different fandom.  But then they disappeared from that fandom and I ran into them as a popular figure in the 1D fandom but they’re kind of hated in the fandom now?? so I won’t say their name.  BUT in the other fandom, they had this fic that I still go back and read to this day every once in a while.  It was intense, a lil fucked up, and just... yeah.  The kind that sticks with you.  

9. What’s one of your favorite books from when you were a child?

Island of the Blue Dolphins.  Which I reread a few years ago and ??? idk I was a weird child.  I mean I didn’t think it was a BAD book

10. What’s an au/trope that you thought you didn’t like until you read one and loved it?

Harry Potter AUs?   haha I’m sure there are more than that because there have been a LOT I didn’t think I’d enjoy and then I loved... OH THE TIME TRAVELER AU.  I don’t remember why but I didn’t read that foreeeeever because I didn’t think it was my thing.

11. Choose one: angst or fluff?

angst.  this isn’t even a question.  

Wow.  I probably spent too much time on that.  If you’ve made it this far, kudos for sticking in there through my ramblings.  

Let’s see.  

1. What is the most problematic concept in one of your fics?

2. Mpreg. Yey or ney and why.

3. What aspect of a fic can you write but not read? 

4. What aspect of a fic can you read but not write? 

5. What fic is your most popular? 

6. Is it a fic that surprises you or is it one you wish was not as popular?

7. Is there an exchange/fest that you didn’t write for that you wish you would have?

8. Do you write in any other fandoms? 

9. What was the first fandom you started writing for? 

10. Do you write other pairings other than your main? 

11. What projects are on the back burner?  

Omg this was so hard.  um.... @tragic---love @wendydarlingfics @reminiscingintherain ummmmmm omg tagging people gives me such anxiety bc i feel like i’m annoying. its a struggle.   back at cha @chloehl10

[kybee1497]

I’ve read fanfic long before I started writing it so believe me I get that it sucks when you can’t find what you want or when updates are sporadic and you just want to know what happens next.

I’ve been writing fic for almost a year at this point and I’m at almost 200k on ao3 which is... so many words Jfc.

Reading a 5k chapter takes me... maybe 20 minutes. 30 minutes if I want to ✨savor✨ it. But what about writing that same 5k.

Let’s break this down shall we. I’m going on my own personal experience and ability and averaging it out. Sometimes I can write 3k in one day and sometimes I cant write anything for weeks on end because even looking at a wip doc makes me want to scream. Creativity and writing energy comes in waves, babes. It’s not reliable or predictable.

On average, I write about 1k in an hour-ish. Now I can’t speed write in sprints and do like 1k in 45-ish minutes but again that’s not sustainable.

So at 1k an hour, that 5k chapter would take me at least 5 hours to write. That’s at least five (5) hours to get words on the page.

Now editing. I like to edit as I go and I rewrite stuff a lot because I’m an indecisive bitch full of self doubt. It’s the ADHD/anxiety/impostor syndrome combo, it’s fine. I usually try to read back through the section/chapter/fic every time I come back to it to make sure I have a fresh memory and any new words match the tone/vibe/etc. So the bulk of the editing is done as I go. Let’s call this about 1 hour, maybe 1.5 hours to read back through and edit this 5k. We’re now at 6.5 hours

Then it goes to my beta. Usually a 5k chapter takes at least an hour to beta read, checking for grammar, flow, characterization, etc. both for my betas and Fics I beta for. So I’ll budget about 1.5 hours We’re now at 8 hours of work time. This doesn’t include the time in between sending the fic to beta and them being able to look at it. Betas have different schedules and their own lives. This can be anywhere from minutes to days.

I still read back over a fic or chapter before posting to check for any final things I want to fix. When I finished writing and editing ballgowns, it was almost 22k. It took me over 3 hours to read back through and make any last changes because I’m not just reading it as I would as a reader, I’m slowly making sure things work and stopping to fix here and there. So let’s say another 30-45 min for that 5k chapter and we’re now at about 8.5 hours for this chapter.

Next is posting on ao3 which isn’t really fast. You have to plug in all the little categories, write out tags, find the summary snippet if you haven’t already (or write the summary which is hard) and copy paste. Then you have to copy and paste the fic from the doc to ao3. Maybe it’s just my computer but highlighting 5-10 pages in docs takes a hot minute. It’s slightly faster in the app. Then is any final formatting in the fic itself before posting. This whole process can take anywhere from 5-30 minutes depending on how detailed you need to be. We’re now at 9 hours.

Do you make Moodboards for your fics? I do. Moodboards can be anywhere from 10-15 minutes to 1-2 hours. Sometimes they’re easy and sometimes I want to rip it to pieces and then cry. It’s a toss up. Shorter oneshots are usually faster. Longer fics need more thought put into the Moodboards. This one took 10 minutes. This one took... god knows how long. It’s a process. Let’s call that 10 hours.

Do you post ao3 links on tumblr? I do. Make the post, copy and paste the description over, add the link. Less than 5 minutes. Do you have a taglist? I do. Is tumblr being a bitch that day? Usually. Taglists can be a 2 min activity or a 10 minute activity. We’re now at 15 minutes. Don’t forget to add enough tags on the post so you can track it and it gets shown in the right searches. We’re now at 10.4 hours.

That’s 10.4 hours for a 5k chapter or one shot. (Roughy 2 hours for every 1k) Ten and a half hours of unpaid labor. And yeah it’s fun. I really really love writing fic and interacting with readers but it’s not easy and it’s time consuming. I work just short of full time. I have a dog who needs time and attention from me. I have my own needs and I have family who need time. There’s only so much time in the day and creativity doesn’t come on command. There are so many nights that I get everything done and I’m so excited to sit down and write and I open the doc and nothing comes out. It happens.

On average I have less than an hour a day that I can write. With the math above, it would take me 10 day’s to produce a new 5k chapter. Assuming that I could sit down and be creative on cue for the entire time and not have it be absolute garbage. This doesn’t include the time it takes to come up with ideas, or any research or outlining time. Or time spent getting stuck in a corner with a multi chap Fic.

What about any feedback? Yes, it’s important to write for yourself, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to spend time, energy, and passion on something and then get crickets in return. Or someone who only demands more, and that’s a thing for another day.

Let’s look at some stats shall we.

The most read one shot (go read it, it’s amazing! Don’t forget to comment and kudos people) the julie and the phantoms fandom has a total of 11,529 hits, 1,733 kudos, and 215 comments. Only 15% of readers took 2 seconds to hit the kudos button. Now, maybe they didn’t like it? Valid, but not enough to make up for such a low %. Now I know that ao3 only lets people kudos a fic once, that’s also valid. But I sincerely doubt that 85% or readers either A) didn’t like it or B) are reading it again and have already left a kudos. Kudos are just a quick way of showing an author you liked what they read. It’s super fast for you and while appreciated it doesn’t tell us what you liked. What made you laugh or cry? Was anything surprising? Kudos are absolutely appreciated but they don’t give us any feedback for what we should keep doing or validation but again that’s a problem for another day. Less than 1% of the 11,529 people who read this fic, left comments. 215 is 1.8% of 11,529 and almost half of them were author replies to comments. This fic is 7k, which is safe to say took AROUND 14 hours (not claiming this as fact. I am not this author and I don’t know their process/writing speed). 14 hours and less than 1% of readers left feedback.

Let’s hop over to Marvel. The most read one-shot is the groot crack fic. It’s also the most read fic on ao3 at 899,873 hits, 108,233 kudos, and 3,309 comments. (Admittedly the crack component may slightly skew the results but not a huge amount.) but we’re at 12% of readers hitting the kudos button. And 0.3% of readers leaving a comment. Most of these are reader comments. (This fic is all “I am groot” so I’m not factoring in time.)

Next up is supernatural. The most read one shot is clocked in at 424,627 hits, 16,142 kudos, and 638 comments. Y’all know the drill. 3.8% of readers took a second to hit the kudos button. 0.1% of readers left a comment. This fic is 15k so let’s say 30 hours start to finish, for 0.1% of readers to leave feedback.

So yeah, writing fic is time consuming. It’s a hobby, a fun hobby, but still a hobby that writers aren’t paid for. So sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes we doubt our skill, or talent, or ability, or we just don’t have the creative energy. So long waits for updates suck but it happens. In the meantime, maybe reread it? Maybe leave a comment or kudos if you haven’t already. And hey drop a comment again. Nothing like kind words or a simple “I really loved this.” Or “I just reread this and I’m excited for what happens next.” To boost confidence or make me want to write more. Though please for the love of god don’t leave the “when are you going to update this?” Or “update please!!” It’s not encouraging, kind, or helpful. I assure you I’m well aware of how long it’s been. Further more, I’m a spite fueled human. 🙃

In conclusion, tip your local fanfic writer and be kind.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

And if you vibe with Julie and the Phantoms, you can find my fic here 💜

#fanficproblems