#both of them would get arrested for the most ridiculous reasons

[chaoticcultist]

Why does no one talk about how Yuichi Usagi and Leonardo would absolutely meet in a cell in the Hidden City prison, and both become very concerned at the other's ability to easily escape.

[schrijverr]

Jason’s Shitty Day

Jason gets arrested by Superman and Wonder Woman, while undercover as Red Hood in a criminal organization. Problem is that they don’t know he knows Batman and trying to get free only poses more problems. Especially when it’s Dick, not Bruce that comes to break him free.

This work is inspired by Undercover by InvalidStuff on AO3.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jason curses under his breath as he runs for his life through the streets of Metropolis. He can’t believe that this is how he’s going to die for the second time in his life; by the hands of the blue boy scout and his idol.

Okay, maybe he’s being a dramatic, like Bruce they try not to kill their villains, but unlike Bruce they don’t have a strict no killing policy backed up by trauma, so there is a gray area and Jason knows he’s made himself a prime target, being at the top of the Justice League wanted list and all.

Right now it seems ridiculous how he lorded that over the little demon spawn last time they all ate dinner together. The shrimp might not be an assassin anymore, but he still envies Jason’s notoriety all the same.

It’s one of the reasons he told B not to remove him, something he’s regretting now as he rounds a corner, nearly slamming into the building in his haste.

A part of him knows that running is useless, both Superman and Wonder Woman stumbled upon him in an attempt to dismantle the same organization he’s been involving himself in. They assumed him to be the ring leader, because of course they are one of the few members of the Justice League that are actually up to date on their wanted list.

Fucking fuck!

If this were Gotham, he would have had the upper hand, since he knows the terrain and both would be more cautious taking anyone down when Batman forbids metas in his city. However, here in Metropolis he’s more easily confused and the bright city doesn’t allow for him to slip out from under the sight of two of the most powerful people on earth.

So, he isn’t that surprised when Superman’s shadow falls over him, right as he rounds another corner where he comes face to face with Wonder Woman.

He skids to a halt and curses his luck again. His admiration of Wonder Woman never wore off and he’ll likely never live down the mortification of meeting her like this. Right now, he really hates that Bruce is a paranoid fucker, who never let any of his kids near the Justice League. He totally would have made a better impression as the starry-eyed fucker he used to be back as Robin.

However, instead he’s stuck between her and Superman and the only thing he can do is attempt to fight them. Great. B is going to owe him for this.

Jason lets out a roar and charges towards Wonder Woman, whose lasso makes him trip. It forces him to hit the deck and within seconds, Superman is on him, wrestling him to the ground. Of course Jason puts up a fight, never stopping his movements as he kicks and bites, even though that hurts him more.

He knows that Superman is stronger than him, but he also knows that he is stronger than an eel, yet the bastards are hard to catch. So he tries his hardest to impersonate an eel.

A part of him hopes that there are no cameras nearby, because if Barbara or Tim get wind of this, they will get that footage and it will haunt him for the rest of his fucking life. The great Red Hood, wiggling on the ground, being mortified in front of stupid Superman and amazing Wonder Woman and over crimes he didn’t even commit. It’s shameful.

But nothing to be done about that now.

Still, he tries to maintain a little of his reputation, by threateningly growling: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” when Superman reaches out to take off his helmet.

Superman’s hand stills and he cautiously asks: “Why not?”

“Because the explosives will blow and you can say bye bye to my head,” Jason answers, hoping that now that they’ve apprehended him, they’re not planning on killing him.

“What?” Superman chokes, as Wonder Woman demands: “Why would you do such a thing?”

“Pays to be cautious,” Jason shrugs as well as he can while being bound on the floor. And it is being cautious, nothing more. He’s not paranoid like B is, no matter what Dickhead says. When you’re a dead man walking, it’s better for people not to know.

Superman likely uses his X-ray vision, because he’s quiet for a second, before he gasps, his hands twitching. However, Jason has to give him very, very minor credits for swiftly moving on with his interrogation after learning that – though perhaps that’s because he isn’t likely to get blown up alongside Jason, should the bomb go off.

“Your helmet is led lined,” Superman comments, actually sounding a bit miffed about it.

Jason has to swallow a snort and just shrugs again, this time with a bit more little shit thrown in, as he repeats: “Pays to be cautious.”

Wonder Woman apparently has had enough, because she tightens the lasso around his feet, making it glow as she asks: “What are you doing here?”

“Working,” Jason spits out, having trained with Bruce about being able to answer with truths without giving anything away. He is glad for that training now, but he still can’t believe that he is interacting with Wonder Woman and it’s like this.

“What kind of working?”

“Worming my way to the top.”

“You’re not the leader?” Superman asks, sounding surprised. Jason already guessed that they assumed that, but rolls his eyes anyway. Who goes in without doing any research? Do they not know the importance of intelligence?

“No, does this look like Crime Alley to you?” he shoots back.

“So what are you doing here outside Gotham then?” Wonder Woman asks.

It’s a valid question. And a question Jason can use. He’s obliged to tell the truth, but that doesn’t mean the whole truth, so he answers: “Worrying Batman.”

That makes the two heroes pause as they look at each other then back at him, suddenly a little less certain.

Under the mask, Jason grins. He and B still aren’t on perfect terms, but he doesn’t see green anymore whenever they’re face to face and they’ve actually been working on their relationship, hence Jason being at family dinners and out here doing this infiltration mission for the old man.

However, that answer can also be interpreted as him creating chaos that Batman is worrying about, which would make it an issue they’d call him about.

They already might have anyway, since he’s a Gotham rogue and they know Batman likes to deal with those himself, even if they can fall under another hero’s jurisdiction by not being in Gotham. But they also might not have. So, by doing this, he’s implying that whatever he’s doing is linked back to Gotham, which makes it so they’ll have to call B.

Usually, Jason doesn’t want Bruce’s help. Ever. Not when it comes to professional things. He is his own vigilante now, he’s independent and has his own plans. Batman should ask before interfering and Jason is too old and their relationship too tattered for a father figure to help. So, he’d be spitting and screaming whenever the old man even tries.

This time isn’t the same, though. This time he’s in bigger trouble than he’s ever been before and he can’t get out of it by himself. Well, he might, but only if they drop him off at a local police station, which isn’t likely to happen with how high-profile he is.

He can get out of prisons, of being kidnapped, being thrown into a space war, of being discovered as a mole, of nearly all torture. But the Justice League? He knows B grumbles about them being unprofessional, but they still hold a lot of power. He is screwed without B right now.

Still, Bruce has always stressed the importance of not letting anyone know they’re connected. To the League, Robin was never anything more than a rumor and Batman works alone. It’s to protect all of them and despite their past, Jason doesn’t want to endanger them… doesn’t want to disappoint Bruce either. Which is stupid and he’s ignoring it as hard as he can.

Besides, even if he tells them, they aren’t likely to believe him. And Jason doesn’t want the knowledge that he’s a good guy, playing a bad guy out on the streets. He admires Wonder Woman a lot, but her and Superman aren’t great liars. They’d tip people off and he can’t have that.

So, he has to convince Superman and Wonder Woman that they have to call Batman and maybe B can convince them to let him go.

The silence after his comment has dragged on for a bit. To take advantage of it, he chuckles: “Oh, big bad heroes didn’t see that coming? What? Did you think he scared me and I moved out? Tsk, don’t make me laugh. My haunt is still my haunt, all I do leads back home.”

Then he starts struggling again. They haven’t even bound his arms. It would have been better to try when they were still distracted, but they’ll likely capture him again and he has broken his bones enough times already, thank you very much. Better to play at being a flight risk so they’ll move him to a more comfortable place than the dirty street.

Indeed, Superman is played like a fiddle and hauls him upright, saying: “We’ll take you back to base for interrogation.”

Wonder Woman takes the lasso off his legs and instead binds his arms. Smart move on her part, though Jason can’t believe that neither of them question whether bringing a very dangerous criminal back to their base is a smart idea. Didn’t B train them better than this? Have some sort of secondary location for questioning people if you must, don’t bring them home!

However, he doesn’t mention it and lets them take him to a Zeta-Beam, so they can get to the Watchtower. It’s a step closer to B, thus a step closer to freedom, he isn’t going to argue with that. Let Batman rip into them when he finds out.

In the Watchtower, he’s sure to look around. Bruce has never let anyone in here, not even Barbara or Tim, who have to explain how to install the security updates at the Watchtower. God, they’re all going to be so pissed that he got there first.

To make up for that betrayal, he makes sure to look around as much as he can. They’ve of course all stalked the Watchtower on Babs’s monitors, but none of them have actually been, so he’ll have to be able replicate the vibes later.

The vibes are kind of sad.

A bit rude, maybe, but it’s true! It’s all metal and not even that toasty, nor cool, just that gross in between where a sweater is too hot, but you also feel kind of cold. It’s clear B has had input here, because he loves his professionalism.

Jason can still remember the Batcave in its infancy, how much he, Dick and Barbara had to influence before it became what it is now.

All the others don’t remember – except maybe for Tim, who had to pick Bruce out of his self hate spiral – but the Batcave didn’t used to be a little warm for recovering muscle soreness or the cold from outside, there didn’t used to be comfy couches, a fridge with snacks and drinks, or messy piles of works in progress.

He’s going to have a serious word with B when he gets out of here about why he hasn’t implemented anything like that here, when he knows that B naps on those couches and appreciates all the warmth the kids (ugh) brought into the Batcave.

… Well, maybe if he gets out of here, not when. The holding cell they’re pushing him into seems pretty secure and after a second, Jason recognizes it as a Superman containment unit that’s part of B’s contingencies. That makes it also pretty much anyone else proof too.

The shackles he’s locked into are meta proof, however, also Batman’s design, which means that Jason has made it his business to know how to get out of them, because he lives to spite the man most of the time.

Neither Superman nor Wonder Woman have spoken since they started hauling him off to his new little prison and Jason wonders if that is going to change or if they’re going to leave him again.

He also wonders if he should start spouting some sort of monologue to cement himself as a proper villain, but decides against it. It might interfere with a cover story to get him out of here. Anything you say can and will be used against you and all that shit. So, he stays quiet.

There is a chair in the chamber that he’s pushed on and Wonder Woman, starts to wrap her lasso around him again as she states: “We need to know more about this organization of yours. You fought us well and I commend your bravery, however, you posses information we need and you do not seem willing to part with it. But the lasso will make you speak the truth.”

Alarm bells start ringing in Jason’s head, despite feeling thrilled that Wonder Woman just complimented him, so he immediately says: “Hey, hey, hey, can you even do that? Isn’t that unconstitutional or some shit? I mean, I think you need a permit or something to question me like that, I know good old Bats is always up his own ass about right channels and court permissions, shouldn’t you read me my rights? I’ve been arrested enough times to know that’s part of it.”

Red Hood has absolutely not been arrested ever, Jason Todd has, but that’s irrelevant right now. He knows he can’t keep up half truths forever and the actual truth can’t come spilling out. Right now he needs to ensure that Wonder Woman keeps that lasso away from him and remind them that he’s a rogue of Batman, so that they’ll contact him.

Wonder Woman pauses for a second and looks at Superman, who is more versed than her in the world of men.

“He has a point, if this goes deeper than a surface drug deal, then we’ll need to ensure all of them go away for life,” Superman says.

At that Jason would let out a breath of relief, if he hadn’t been trained better than that. He does, however, let his eyes roll, because Supes over there can’t see it and he is allowed to be annoyed that they think it is just some drug bust when Jason has been working for two months to get this neck deep into very fucking shady shit.

“Batman must have some protocol about it,” Wonder Woman says. “I shall look it up, so that we may proceed.”

“You’re not going to call him?” Jason asks, a little surprised, because surely that would be easier than going through the thousands of pages of protocol that B wrote.

Superman squints. “You seem eager to get Batman up here,” he comments. “That’s unusual, most want nothing to do with him. Why?”

Fuck.

He’s used to Gotham villains, who regularly kidnap Batman and want him to pay attention to them, not this fear that he has outside of Gotham. It’s easy to forget too, because B is one of the least scary people Jason knows. Hell, even Dick ranks above him in scariness.

Still, he doesn’t let that show, instead leaning back in his chair as casual as he can, smirking: “I guess, I just appreciate the devil I know is all. You two seem a little boring, no offense.”

“Well, that’s new,” Superman comments and Jason wants to throttle him, because he’s horrible at not letting any information slip past the cracks – and yes, personal relations and reputations are definitely information – he’ll have to remember to mention that to Bruce too.

In the end, Wonder Woman goes to contact Batman and look over their protocol, while Superman stays to watch Jason. It’s the first sensible thing they’ve done, not leaving him alone that is. A part of Jason wants to be annoyed, because now he can’t switch on the com with Babs, since Superman will hear, but he’s just relieved that they have a sense of knowing what to do.

So, they sit in silence.

Superman tries to chat a few times, but Jason knows better than that. You don’t talk, not even small talk. Anything is prying when you’re being interrogated, even if they just want to know your opinion on the weather. Which is making the atmosphere quite awkward.

Luckily, they’re freed from the silence five minutes later when Wonder Woman returns. She says: “Batman says he’ll be here in ten minutes and to not touch or question Red Hood until he gets here.”

Jason is too relieved by the news to judge her for saying that in front of him. Soon B will be here and then he will talk Jason out of here and he’ll be home before he knows it. After today, he can probably convince Alfred to bake cookies with him too. Score.

For the next ten minutes, the atmosphere doesn’t get much better. Jason feels a little more inclined to talk to Wonder Woman, but she is taking Batman’s instructions seriously and with Jason in the room, none of the conversations between Superman and Wonder Woman really take off.

Then the door opens to reveal Batman. For a second Jason can feel a weight be lifted off of him, but then he looks again. The figure is not Bruce, it’s Dick.

What the fuck.

If he weren’t wearing the helmet, he could make a face to demand an explanation, but for now his shoulders will have to do. However, Dick has always been bad at reading Jason’s shoulders when he’s chained up and Jason has a harder time with Dick’s face when he’s playing Batman. So whatever information flow there might have been gets lost in translation.

Dick is one of the few that know Jason did theater in High School, so he’s probably counting on Jason’s yes-and-bullshitting. Which is the only thing that prepares Jason for whatever nonsense he is about to pull out of his ass.

He can’t believe they’re going to lie to Superman and Wonder Woman. What a day this is shaping up to be.

“Hi Batsy,” he grins, hoping that him recognizing Dick will strengthen the cover.

“Red Hood,” Dick greets back. “I knew I’d run into you at some point with this. I’m disappointed, you were doing so well last time. What happened?”

“You know me, I never keep my nose clean,” Jason shoots back, because he’s a crime lord and he doesn’t plan on changing that. His family knows that.

Dick fakes a sigh and sternly says: “You were at least staying in Gotham.” Then he turns to the others and asks: “Where did you find him?” like he didn’t know already.

“Batman, I am glad you came,” Wonder Woman greets. “We have apprehended Red Hood in a drug bust in Metropolis, but we need more information from him. He claims his organization goes back to Gotham, if this goes deeper, we need to know.”

Tsk, what ‘his organization’? Jason had nothing to do with this. Terrible reporting. She could have used ‘the organization’, way more accurate and- oh god, now he’s judging Wonder Woman!

Dick as Batman grunts in acknowledgment and Wonder Woman continues: “We found him in the middle of the warehouse district. The others got away.”

Jason notes that Superman hasn’t said anything yet and shoots him a covert glance. He is frowning at Dick. Jason curses. Dick can do a good Batman when he wants to, but when he does that, he is usually not in good lighting with people who work with the actual Batman regularly.

So, he keeps an eye on the man as Dick gruffly says: “Thank you. I have been tracking his organization these past weeks, if I had known he would branch out, I would have contacted you. I’ll take him back to Gotham for proper interrogation and loop you back in once I know more.”

At that both Superman and Wonder Woman start to look more suspicious and Jason just knows that Dick is going to rip into B later, because why the hell are they surprised at him saying thanks?

Superman finally speaks up: “Why have you been tracking his organization, when he claimed he wasn’t the ringleader when we caught him?”

Damn those investigative reporter instincts, Jason thinks. He needs to distract them from Dick, so they won’t ask any more question. So, he calls out: “I mean, I practically was. Gotham branch is all mine.”

Eyes are back on him, great. Or, well, not truly great, because he hasn’t thought much further than that, but great as in, there is a distraction.

“Red Hood,” Dick admonishes, though Jason can see the relief in his shoulders.

So, he shrugs: “What? I like getting proper credit.”

“Well, you can tell the GCPD all about the things you deserve credit for,” Dick says, leaning in close as he growls.

Fuck, Jason is so making fun of him for that later. After he busted him out of here. Because right now, he has an act to play if he wants to see freedom again. And if he’s honest, he really likes his freedom.

However, before Dick can haul him out of his seat and break him out of here, they’re stopped by Superman: “We caught him in Metropolis, I’d like to question him here first.”

“And he’s my rogue, messing in my city,” Dick snipes back. “He’s got his fingers in all types of pies and I’d like to get him behind bars for it as quick as possible. My way. Because that way works.”

Jason studies Superman and Wonder Woman closely. Dick used the pie expressions, B never is one for expressions, much less pie related ones. And it seems the League figured that out too, because there is a tenseness in their shoulders that wasn’t there before.

Dick must have noticed too, but he’s awaiting their response so he can play into it. However, both know for sure that they’re screwed when Wonder Woman says: “I know you have your way, but you have rarely denied the use of my lasso, especially if it would help your city.”

“Yeah, and you would never just take him without getting more information from us first,” Superman adds. “Who are you?”

“I’m Batman,” Dick repeats, though that’s clearly not going to cut it with the way the two heroes start to close in on him. Jason is starting to feel he’s gonna be on his own here again real soon.

“You’re not. Your heartbeat is wrong,” Superman says.

“Rude, my heart could just have been having an off day,” Dick retorts, obviously giving up on the facade as he darts out of the way and ducks under their attacks and out of the door.

Wonder Woman sets off after him, Superman closely behind. It’s reminiscent of earlier today but then with Dick in Jason’s position. Jason takes a moment to be smug that Dick is definitely getting caught on camera, before taking off through the door himself.

It’s another mental note to bring up to B later and he is starting to wonder if he even trained these people, because that’s truly an amateur’s mistake. Though, perhaps they can be forgiven with the shock of someone managing to break in to the Watchtower without detection while pretending to be one of their own.

His arms are still in the shackles, but there is no time to pick them. Jason also has Zeta-Beam access, if he can just reach the terminal, he’ll be out of here. He’s sure Dick can either talk himself out or that he can come up with a better rescue plan than that.

Where the hell even is the actual Batman? You know, Bruce Wayne?

No time to think about that now, he tells himself, putting the thought out of his mind. He is quickly following the route they’d taken when he got here, but in the opposite direction. He grins when the terminal comes into view.

Skidding to a halt, he quickly starts to put in coordinates. Any coordinates at this point. He’s not used to it, never really traveling via Zeta-Beam much. He hopes he remembers the coordinates of the Batcave after B’s insistence they all learn them and he won’t end up in the middle of the ocean or some shit.

However, before he can beam away, Dick crashes into him when he comes flying into the entrance hall, obviously having thought the same thing as Jason. Only he has two heroes on his trail.

“Fucking fight, Dick,” Jason screams, not even caring that he used the real name, because with Dick you can get away with that. As he attempts to type even faster to get them both away.

Alas, it’s not meant to be, because while Dick is a worthy opponent, he’s fighting two of the most powerful people on their home turf and he doesn’t have anything to fight them with, except for B’s gear that he is less familiar with than his own.

So, while he gets a few good punches in, soon he and Jason are dragged away from the terminal and wrestled to the ground. Now Dick in shackles too.

“Way to go, asshat,” Jason bitches as he lies on the ground for the second time today.

“Oh, like you could have done better. I make a great Batman,” Dick bitches back.

Right at the moment, Flash comes running in, confusedly asking: “What the hell’s happening? I saw it on the monitors, but I didn’t know who to go after first and- Wait, why is Batman in chains? Is he brainwashed?”

“See,” Dick exclaims delightedly. “Flash thinks I make a good Batman.”

“What?” Flash asks confused.

Superman says: “It’s not Batman.”

“He’s not?” Flash says, sounding surprised as he leans over to take a better look.

“Ha!” Dick crows as Jason hisses: “Shut your mouth, dumbass.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Batman?” Wonder Woman exclaims, digging her knee into Dick’s back and making him grunt. Jason has no pity after that stupid stunt.

“I’m Nightwing,” Dick answers and Jason tries to send him a ‘wtf’-look, but is ignored. “I’m a vigilante. I work in Blüdhaven. It’s Gotham’s sister city. Batman’s tied up at the moment, asked me to go in his stead. He didn’t think you’d notice.”

“Lies,” Wonder Woman says.

“Batman would contact us ourselves, not trick us. He’s our ally and we know him,” Superman states confidently.

“No, you misunderstand. He’s quite literally tied up,” Dick says and it dawns on Jason that Bruce Wayne must have been kidnapped when the call came through. In enough of a bind that a miraculous escape would put their identities at stake. Just great. Fucking great.

“He’s taken? We must save him,” Wonder Woman says.

“That’s not necessary,” Dick backtracks, realizing his mistake. “We already have someone on it, don’t worry.”

“Who?” Jason asks.

“The day shift,” Dick answers and Jason mentally translates that to Duke. Good for him. It’s very useful to have someone out there during the day for situations like this.

“Wait, is he claiming to know Batman?” Flash asks. “I mean, I know he’s dressed like Batman, but being captured and all, I thought he was kind of impersonating him and hatching some nefarious scheme, not, like, covering his shift.”

“He is impersonating Batman,” Superman says. “And we can’t trust his claims. He’s here to rescue Red Hood and he is one of Batman’s villains.”

“Oh, so they know him from fighting him,” Flash says, getting what Superman is implying.

“Where have you taken Batman!” Wonder Woman demands.

“I haven’t taken him! Batman isn’t taken,” Dick yelps. “His civvie ID is and he is getting rescued.”

“You know his secret identity? We don’t even know his identity,” Flash exclaims, actually pouting.

“Yes, I know his ID,” Dick says, almost desperate, Jason would feel bad, but he’s kind of given up and is just laying there. “You can check the Zeta-Beam logs, I’m Nightwing, I have access. I work in Gotham’s sister city, we team up sometimes. I know Batman, I promise. I’m just helping him out.”

“Helping him out by getting Red Hood out?” Superman asks, obviously not believing it.

Dick knows how it sounds and lets out a frustrated scream. “Yes!” he insists again. “How did you contact him to come here? How could I have known to come?”

That makes them pause for a second, before Superman shakes his head: “You could have intercepted the message.”

“I didn’t, you know how paranoid B is, his shit is unhackable,” Dick says.

“B?” Flash repeats to himself and Jason mentally face palms. It’s sweet that Dick tried to rescue him, but he feels like he only made it worse.

“We don’t know, maybe you could,” Superman says.

“Oh, he could be a shape-shifter, who took on Batman’s identity and hid the real Batman somewhere else to masquerade as him and help his fellow villains in some sort of plot,” Flash spins a theory.

Now Jason groans out loud and thunks his head on the floor, the impact dampened by his helmet, which is luckily still on. “Why the fuck would he then not take the exact form of Batman?” he asks, exasperated.

“Exactly, just check the logs, I’m Nightwing,” Dick backs him up, almost begging at this point.

“You could have faked that, if you intercepted the message,” Wonder Woman says, not letting Dick up for a second.

“It would make sense,” Flash nods.

“It would?” Superman asks and Jason curses. They should have pushed, the boy scout might have believed them, but the moment’s gone now.

“Yeah, if we bought it, then he could pretend to be Batman for forever and we wouldn’t be suspicious if he acted out of character, because he was a different person, but in our perception still a good guy. It’s smart,” Flash shrugs.

Jason really hates his life, because the Flash is making kind of sense and it appears that there not going anywhere anytime soon.

“I’ll contact Oracle again, Batman’s AI won’t be compromised where his phone might,” Wonder Woman says and Jason has to do a double take. They think Barbara is an AI?

He and Dick share a confused look, however when they hear Barbara pick up, Dick takes the moment to scream: “Tell B to get his ass over here.”

Jason immediately joins in: “O, I’ll owe you if you get me out of here in the next 30 minutes.”

Now all of the heroes present are giving the two of them a confused look as Wonder Woman relays: “We have Red Hood here and an impostor claiming to be Batman. Where is Batman, Oracle? Is he safe?”

While he can’t make out what she’s saying from here, Jason can still hear the amusement in Barbara’s voice as she answers Wonder Woman.

However, whatever she said, must be enough, because when Wonder Woman hangs up, she says: “If our friend does not show up within the next twenty minutes, we are free to go search for him.”

That’s quite fast, Jason thinks. If he could have gotten here so fast, why send Dick first? Jason could have waited for actual Batman. Dick must think the same, because he makes a confused noise, which turns into a little yelp, when Wonder Woman drags him to his feet. Jason starts laughing at him, but gets cut off when he gets hauled to his feet too.

They don’t leave for the cells again though, apparently they’ve decided to hang around here while they wait for B to show up. Flash does leave however, having been on monitor duty before the whole drama went down.

While they wait, Wonder Woman reaches out to Dick, saying: “Let’s reveal your true identity, impostor.”

“No, wait!” Dick yells. “The code states that as a hero, I cannot be discowled or unmasked without my explicit approval. I state that I am Nightwing, a hero, unless you can prove that I am not who I claim I am, you are not allowed to do that.”

Wonder Woman stills again, then asks: “How do you know that?”

“Uhm, I work with B, you really think he doesn’t make me memorize those codes?” Dick shoots back. “And if you knew it wasn’t allowed, why would you do that?” Another thing for on the list.

“You’re clearly a villain, that code does not apply,” Wonder Woman states.

“No, you think I’m a villain. Innocent until proven guilty,” Dick corrects.

“You broke into the Watchtower, that’s not screaming innocent,” Superman points out, which is kind of valid, but Jason has sat in enough on court trails against his own men. He knows that shit wouldn’t necessarily hold up.

“I had a good reason,” Dick huffs and Jason ignores how touched he is that Dick thinks that freeing him is a good enough reason to risk getting destroyed by the Justice League over.

After that, they’re all silent. Wonder Woman and Superman do try to talk with them again, but Dick knows, just as Jason does, that it’s smarter to keep your mouth shut. So they wait quietly as the minutes tick by.

It takes a long time.

By the time they hit seventeen minutes, Jason is starting to get worried B won’t get here in time and then they’ll have to deal with Superman and Wonder Woman tearing into Gotham to try and find their Batman.

Whenever they civvie IDs get taken hostage, it’s usually a media circus after and that’s when rescue doesn’t take overtime. He doesn’t know how Bruce is going to duck out of it. Maybe he has already failed.

Fucking fuck, how badly can one day go? How badly can Jason screw up that he hasn’t just compromised himself and his relation to Batman, but also Dick’s connection to both of them and risked Gotham’s entire vigilante population being found out by two metas, who will go into the city without permission.

It’s clear that Wonder Woman and Superman are getting antsy too, continuously checking the time and looking at the Zeta-Beam, waiting for it to come to life.

Just as they hit the nineteen minute mark, the Zeta-Beam whirs and the crisp voice announces Batman’s arrival. The man himself appearing like some water in the desert, dressed in his previous suit, though his arm is in a cast.

“Batman!” Wonder Woman exclaims in relief, as Superman worries: “What happened to you?”

“A minor mishap,” B replies. And Jason curses, it’s going to be a bitch to keep him out of the field like that and it doesn’t help prove their innocence in the slightest.

“I thought you were going to be busy for way longer,” Dick accuses, probably having been as surprised as Jason was that he could get here this fast.

“Signal is getting better and the broken arm helped me avoid the whole media circus,” Bruce explains apologetically.

“You actually know these two, Batman?” Superman asks, sounding a little hurt, betrayed and confused all at the same time.

“Yes, I honestly thought you wouldn’t notice Nightwing running this errand for me while I was preoccupied,” Batman informs them. “If I had known how today would run, I would have waited and retrieved Red Hood myself.”

There is absolutely no apology in his voice and it’s now doubly confirmed that Dick’s thank you had been a dead give away. Why is he being a dick to his friends? They all would have gotten a sorry if B pulled this shit on them. Dick is so going to lecture him.

“I demand an explanation,” Wonder Woman frowns. “That one is a criminal and we have not heard of Nightwing before. Why does he have access here? Why are you helping Red Hood?”

Batman sighs as if he’d seen this coming, but was hoping it wouldn’t happen. Then he says: “I’m here because Red Hood was undercover for me, you blew his mission. I send Nightwing to get him, because I trust him.”

“And not us?” Superman asks, even more hurt than before. “Batman, you thought we wouldn’t notice you being an entirely different person. You tried to trick us and never even informed us Red Hood worked for you.”

“Hey! I don’t work for that asshole,” Jason snaps, already annoyed since B blew the cover he worked so hard to keep, even if he wasn’t likely to get out of this without giving something away. He knows it’s stupid too, especially in these circumstances, but it’s always been a sensitive topic for him.

Superman and Wonder Woman now look between him and B and B explains: “He’s an independent vigilante, but we team up. I asked his help, he did it as a favor. I never told you, because telling you would compromise him. If we can spin this, it might solidify his standing in the organization, if you had known, you might have let him go and they might not have believed you. It was better this way.”

“I’m really starting to feel like you trust them more than us and that you’ve been lying,” Superman frowns. “We have always respected your privacy and not pried. But you’re keeping things from us. Important things. Things related to our work. And that’s not okay.”

Batman is now between a rock and a hard place and Jason would be more sympathetic if it weren’t B.

“There’s a reason I’m keeping this particular thing,” Batman says without offering any further explanation.

“This is no way to treat your fellow warriors,” Wonder Woman exclaims.

“I’m with her,” Dick pipes up.

“Me too,” Jason adds, because like hell is he siding with Bruce over Wonder Woman.

“You and me both know that we right here, are old enough that you don’t have to do this,” Dick says, almost imploring and Jason holds his breath. He can’t believe Dick is asking Bruce to break their non-association vow here.

“What is he talking about?” Superman demands. “How do you know them?”

B is quiet, assessing the situation, then he utters words Jason never thought he’d hear in front of anyone associated with the League. “They are my sons. I raised them. That’s why I trust them and why I’m here to get them.”

It’s deathly silent for a second, then both Wonder Woman and Superman burst with outrage of never having been told, of being kept in the dark with information like this. How did Batman keep this from them? Why?

Letting them rage for a moment, B speaks up again once they’ve quieted down: “They weren’t always adults and I didn’t know you well enough. I wasn’t going to endanger them. What if you were mind controlled or turned against me? They couldn’t become a target.”

“So what about I work alone?” Superman huffs. “We put effort into pulling you into our group.”

“And that is appreciated and it does take effort to learn how to work together, even if you’re already familiar with teamwork,” B counters. “But yes, I did lie. Having a certain persona here helped keep my children safe. I don’t regret it.”

Despite wanting to be better than this, Jason’s still touched that B would go this far for them. It has always been an insecurity of his, so no matter how shitty it is to the League, he can’t help but feel happy that Bruce chose him over them. That he doesn’t regret it.

Dick, however, doesn’t have that as much and has a different reaction. He pulls free from Wonder Woman’s grip, slackened by circumstance, and says: “And your persona is asshole? Jesus Christ, B, the least you can do is apologize. They got suspicious of me saying thank you, Agent A raised you better than that.”

B at least has the decency to look a little sheepish at that, shocking the two heroes and then shocking them even more when he says: “I am sorry for the trouble.”

“Great,” Jason breaks the tension, stepping away from Superman, because he’s had a roller coaster of a day and he is done. “Glad we got that all settled then. Nice to meet you two, let’s not do it again. If your see me, you don’t know me. Now, let’s to get out of here.”

“Wait, we want more answers,” Wonder Woman stops them.

“Wonder Woman,” B says, finally sounding like himself, tired and a little gruff, but not unkind. “I broke my arm less than an hour ago, I’ve been patrolling all week with three separate Arkham escapes and my kids just got chased and locked up. I need a moment. Promise that I’ll explain better tomorrow. Make it a meeting if you must.”

She still looks reluctant, but Superman is already won over. His kindness is easy to exploit Jason notes out of habit.

“Alright, Batman, but I expect you not to duck out,” he says.

With Superman allowing them to leave, Wonder Woman agrees too: “Yes, answers can come tomorrow. But know that I will come into Gotham to find you, should you not arrive.”

Jason sees Dick suppressing a snort. He has to agree that. With the forewarning and all of them there, they could stop her should B not want to go tomorrow. They’re not going to, B can face his own consequences and Jason doesn’t actually want to fight Wonder Woman, but it speaks to both of their naivety about their city.

“Thank you,” B says, probably feeling he’ll worsen Dick’s lecture otherwise.

Then he punches in his code on the Zeta-Beam and they’re in the Batcave before they know it, Barbara and Alfred waiting for them.

Barbara smirks: “You have no intention of letting them know about the others, do you?” Jason guesses she had already been here with Dick as often happens whenever one of them is kidnapped as a civilian.

“No,” B grunts.

Jason rolls his eyes and finally removes his helmet, holding out his shackles for Bruce to undo without a word. He’s going to crash in his room upstairs, eat some of Alfred’s delicious cooking and then come up with some way to make this whole thing work for him. He’s already invested two months in this stupid op, he’s not letting one shitty day ruin it.

While B undoes his shackles, Dick bounces over to Babs to let her undo his, saying: “Do you know the Justice League thinks you’re an AI?”

“Of course, people tell secrets to computers, not people they’ve never met before,” Babs shrugs easily.

“Oh you’re evil,” Dick grins and Jason agrees with a nod.

Now free, he also makes his way over to her and says: “What do I have to do to get the footage of Dickiebird here getting wrecked by Superman and Wonder Woman?”

“Hey, you got destroyed too,” Dick pouts.

“Not in the Watchtower while dressed as B. I looked cool,” Jason counters, half of that a lie. Fuck, he really hopes Babs hasn’t already found footage of his own take down.

“Get me those snacks I like next time you’re abroad and I’ll throw them in the group chat,” she says.

“Deal,” he shakes her hand, before Dick can interfere.

“You two are so mean,” he pouts even more. “You got taken down too, bet you looked stupid.”

“I did not,” Jason protests immediately, his cheeks feeling hot.

“Camera footage says otherwise,” Babs grins evilly, because she’s an evil evil-doer, who is out to get Jason with her evil ways.

“DO not show him that!” he shrieks, jumping to get her hands away from the keyboards, before she can pull it up, while Dick tries to fight him off so she can.

A part of him still can’t believe that today he nearly died for the second time at the hands of the blue boy scout and his idol, nor that Dick broke in to the Watchtower dressed as Batman to come get him.

Later he’ll have to deal with B’s paranoia over the Justice League knowing about him and Dick, write a report about the weak points of the Justice League, then worry about his own mission and all of that will be a hassle. But right now he’s worrying about making sure his eel footage never sees the light of day and wrestling with his brother and Babs.

All in all, today could have been worse.

~~

A/N:

I don’t think the Justice League is incompetent btw, I think Jason (and the other bats) are just kind of intense with their own security and a little judgmental.

[hellosweetart]

Hi, so for the Serial Killer Francis Au, I have some ideas (btw I'm not the SK Francis anon, so there could be some inaccuracies in the AU here and there)

About the Milkbread route of the AU, what if: Nacha is a nervous wreck? Of course, she is nice, bubbly, but she also is a ball of crippling anxiety, always scared of messing up everything in her life, from relationship, to work, and to her overall reputation?

As Nacha hung around with Francis, she still noticed something was wrong about him, like how uncaring he was to the world, how sometimes he would drop the most disturbing and morbid statements, but she was just a little bit less decisive. Now at that time, psychology was not a big thing yet, so while her gut was screaming that he's a dangerous man, she still had zero evidence to actually prove that he was and had no reason to distance herself from him. Since Nacha's gut feeling was strong, she even called some of her friends and family members from outside the building to evaluate Francis' behavior. However, all of the people whom Nacha contacted waved off her concerns and some even said that her worries were ridiculous and she might even make a fool of herself if she kept worrying.

So, to not be the jerk, Nacha stayed with Francis. Francis was a smart man, so when he saw Nacha exhibiting her discomfort when he acted "off", he knew to adjust his act. Eventually, Nacha ultimately felt bad for thinking of Francis as one creepy man, (even if her worries is totally valid), and even dated and had Ana with him.

And fast forward till Nacha killed someone and was too scared to do anything that she called Francis and confessed everything. Francis of course was over the moon in a twisted way and helped Nacha with the corpse, pretty much by butchering it so it looks like a doppelgänger mauled the victim.

At this point, Nacha would realize that her gut was right all along because: no way a normal person would look so excited dissecting a whole corpse, and from the way he worked, so "professional" for lack of better terms that it's definitely not his first time.

She had 2 choices: 1, say nothing and live with this cursed knowledge that her husband was a monster in the form of a human while pretend that everything were fine; or 2, confront him about his ways and behaviors, but get blackmailed back because he knew she killed someone. It was not like she had a video recording of Francis casually dissecting a corpse and like I said before, all of Francis' behavior can be chalked up to jokes and stuff, which means that she can't get him arrested, due to lack of proof.

Francis can now force Nacha help him around with his kills, something like a twisted bonding time between the couple. He makes the kills, she helps with the disposing, both of them get bloody together and sometimes she even kill under his threats too. She now can out him for being a murderer, but she would also end up in jail for being his accomplice.

In other words, her cowardice and lack of trust in her own judgement doomed her.

Then come another character: Izaack Gauss. He's the nosy reporter type, whom, like Nacha, notice something off about Francis, but has no proof to accuse him of anything. He's been trying to befriend Nacha for ages to get her to spill something interesting to him about her husband, but she had nothing to say to him... until now. This time, she can rat Francis out to Izaack, and can actually get away scott free since Izaack would be covering for her. But would she actually do it? Or would she be too broken and too drowned in her own regrets to do anything? Or maybe... she may even kill Izaack, in her shattered mental state?

Also, since I also see Francis with Angus and William being friends with dubious morality, I think it'd be somewhat funny if Angus explains his friend group to a random lackey of his like this:

"Ah yes, me, the nerd who created the doppelganger catastrophe, and a dude with superb killing and torturing skills plus his wife who makes good food but looks a bit too traumatized lately, meh, at least she's not ratting any of us out."

This is a great headcanon. Though if SK Francis actively killed someone and need to dispose of the body, he would rather just do it by himself than ask assistance from Nacha. I believe he would prefer to fix his own mess because, in his own standards, he would be a "bad husband" to ask for his wife's help. And if Nacha fell into the same mess (like what she did to the workmate bastard who sexually harassed her), SK Francis would be more than willing to help her.

Speaking of Nacha's trouble, here is my sketch:

Ana peeks out and yeah...something is off with her father.

Also, another thing about my HC for Angus is that on this universe, he doesn't often smile. I think its because of trauma he had endured of owning a shady business and then came along with SK Francis where he has developed a strange close relationship. He can't tell if its amazement, fear, amusement or infatuation...

[sarnai4]

Emergency Contact

In a modern fic I'm writing, I brought up Dagur's list of people he would contact in case of an emergency. I started thinking way too hard about this, so I might as well share (it's sad how this is also how most of my fics begin).

Hiccup is the first one on the list. He's known Dagur the longest and has already seen the good and bad, so having to get called to a jail because Dagur beat up a rude bartender isn't even a surprise. Is he going to still scold him? Yes, but Dagur's heard it enough that he already has several speeches ready.

Mala's next. She hasn't seen all the bad from Dagur, so there's a part of him that wants to keep her from knowing how deranged he can get. Still, she's reasonable and takes care of business, making her a perfect person to call. If he's actually in trouble, he knows she'll probably kill someone for him too which he finds cute.

Heather is third because Dagur trusts her. He doesn't want to be a burden, though, so she's not as high on the list as she could be. He knows her temper isn't great either, so it might just end with them both being in holding cells if worst comes to worst. If he doesn't contact her after both Hiccup and Mala were unavailable, she'll fuss at him, so whatever he does is a calculated risk.

Fishlegs is probably next because he's responsible. He doesn't get called for arrests. He would be too scared to be around the other people, so this is a "somebody blew up my car, can you give me a ride?" or another issue along those lines (because I'm convinced at least one person has tried to kill Dagur)

Snotlout because Dagur's not really sure if he'll make it better or worse. It's a coin toss. He prefers his Snothat time to be fun, but he still knows Snotty can hold his own. So, if he's about to go somewhere and needs backup, then Snotlout gets pushed up to the first place. It's just anything else that makes Dagur wary.

I'm almost not sure if Astrid is on this list. I feel like she has a similar problem to Heather with also being so angry. This could cause more problems than it fixes, but she'd probably be okay if he was stranded somewhere and needed a ride and Fishlegs wasn't around.

Ruff and Tuff are not on this list. There is 0 chance that Dagur's calling them for any kind of emergency. They're his prank buddies. If something is wrong, he doesn't trust that they'll turn the silly mode off and be helpful.

No one else is on that list either because he either doesn't know them very well (Atali, Gobber, and Minden), knows he would cause him to die somehow (Gustav), or still isn't sure if they're cool (Stoick).

Here is the story that made me think about this. I will admit that it's ridiculous, but it was also so much fun to make.

[the-teapot-hatter]

No bc imagine like MC using one of those gigantic lily pads instead of a small boat (bc boats are expensive) to fish and fucking Jack just sees this human fishing on a giant lily pad. Bonus points if they wear like put the flower on their head as like a hat or smth for “camouflage” LMAOO

Jack has seen a lot of strange things as a part of the Navy. For obvious reasons. Not only would they sometimes be pulled away to suit the position of regular guardsmen, but they would frequently go out with Sailers and deal with pirates.

But even with all of the strange things that Jack has seen, this is by far one of the strangest. To the point, all Jack could think was 'what the hell--'

Sitting on a giant lily bad, paddling out with some twig from a fallen branch, was the strange little human that he's been seeing around recently. Stranger yet, they were wearing the flower from the lily pad on top of their head, with a completely straight look on their face, unmoving.

'Do they think they're blending in or something!?' Jack didn't know what to think. Being left with complete disbelief, though this was far from the first time. Their first meeting, if it could even be called that, also left Jack completely speechless.

Then there was the fact that they were fishing, something they weren't supposed to be doing and was definitely illegal. Jack understands not being able to pay the expensive prices in the market for seafood, however a license is needed for a reason.

People who get licenses have to go through a handful of procedures and background checks, not only to make sure they are as safe as they possibly can be, but to make sure they don't have any affiliations with pirates.

Actually, it could be said that it was to avoid situations like this, because attempting to fish on a giant lily pad certainly wasn't the correct way to go about things.

Just as Jack was about to shout out for them, so they'd come back to shore and give him some other strange and out there excuse like all the other times before, they suddenly wildly jerked around and attempted to stab the water with their stick.

(Not entirely surprising either. One needed a license to buy proper fishing material, but this was ridiculous.)

Unsurprisingly, such an action caused them to tumble into the water. Jack sighed to himself, waiting for them to remerge at any given moment. Only, that's not what happened.

Instead, what he say was wildly flailing arms in the water, and a series of suspicious bubbles. They were drowning. This is why a license is needed. So it can be checked if you can actually swim.

Appalled, and a bit amused, by their stupidity, Jack jumped into the water in a hurry. He didn't appreciate them breaking the law (he had absolutely no right to judge), but he wasn't going to let them die because they were doing whatever it was that they were doing.

When Jack finally did manage to reach them, he was kicked, punched, whacked at (with both stick and fish). He was partially convinced they were trying to take him down with them.

"I'm trying to help you! Hold still!!" Jack snapped, only for them to turn on him with the most offended look, completely unwarranted since he was helping them, and shout--

"I'm a single parent with a child to feed and three guests to host. You won't take me alive!!" Before promptly whacking him with their fish, that they miraculously caught. Is this how Leona felt when he first met them?

"You? What? No, just hold still!" Jack argued, struggling to get a hold of them as they kept slipping away. To add insult to injury, when they finally seemed to be accepting his help, they used him as a stepping stool to get back to the giant lily pad.

Then began paddling away as quickly as possible.

Jack watched, amazed by the sheer absurdity of it all. He could easily catch up to them, but he had never actually been planning on arresting them. So, he watched on to make sure they didn't nearly drown again, where they watched him with a weary glare. Running off once they were on dry land.

Hours later, he was asked a question he hadn't been expecting.

"Howl, why do you have a flower on your head?" One of his other fellow Navy officers asked. He reached up, patting his head, surprised to feel something off.

He grabbed the offended material, pulling it down to reveal a flower. The very same flower the utter idiot had been wearing earlier today. How humiliating.

However, if not for the flower, he was sure he would think it was nothing more than one big fever dream.

[echantedtoon]

Demon Bride Ch56 Demon's Are Strange P2

(Warnings: Douma IS his own warning. Possibly some innuendos. Mentioning of him being poisoned. Mentioning of death.

Alternate chapter name being 'Y/n Becomes Babysitter To Douma, A Mother To Three Children, And A Big Sister All In One Day'. Also Kokushibo needs reading glasses cuz I said so.

Author's Note: I don't know when Rui was turned into a demon in the original canon so for all I know he could've been way older than Tanjiro. Just for this story I'm going to say that Rui atm is 10 years old about to turn eleven and the twins are both currently 11 almost 12. Muichiro retains his optimistic personality since the traumatic incident in cannon with the demon does not happen in this particular au/timeline and Yuichiro is alive because I say so. So the ages of all the kiddos are-

Rui: 10 yrs old

Muichiro and Yuichiro: 11 yrs old 

Zohakuten: 14 yrs old)

Jade.

Older sister to Sakura and ex-possible lover of Douma. She became the head woman of the family since their mother ran away with another man seventy four years ago. Since Sakura was arrested and confined to prison nearly two months ago, their family has faced harsh ridicule and Jade and their father has tried to arrange a meeting with Douma to most likely try to talk him into releasing Sakura or at least probably lessen her punishment. But Douma refused any and all attempts at contact with them and Akaza (for his short few days of ruling in Douma's place-) had also refused after learning what happened between you and Sakura. 

And Douma had blatantly said Jade was the one responsible for your murder attempt.

Or at least he believed so. Which you had to admit, made a bit of sense. Jade was Sakura's sister and that was motive enough right there. But you also were technically engaged to Douma which was the person Jade attempted to seduce in order to gain more power, and that was the reason Sakura attempted to get rid of you in the first place. However Akaza was not going to make any accusations against her just yet. You didn't know if it was because Jade was a woman or because there technically wasn't any proof of her doing it yet, but there wasn't anything really too much to worry about. Kokushibo would be returning tomorrow and he would decide what to do about both Sakura and Jade.

There was nothing you could do about it either other than to wait and see what would happen tomorrow when Kokushibo arrived. It was only a matter of-

"MOTHER!!"

Something big jumped on your stomach and in an instant you both woke up and wheezed as all the air left your lungs. Rui excitedly jumped up and down on your futon while harshly shaking your shoulder.

"Mother! Mother! Mom, Mom, Mom!! Mother! Wake up, Mother! Wake up!!" Purple eyes blinked tiredly before a head emerged from the blankets hair all a mess as Rui smiled widely down at you. "Father's coming! Get up! Get up!"

...You groaned before flopping your head back making Rui shake you again. "Ok. Ok. I'm up."

"No you're not! You're still lying down!! Stand up!"

"Uuuuhhhh. Alright!" A hand smooshed against Rui's cheek and moved him away as you sat up. "Give me a chance to get ready."

"Hurry up! We don't have all day!" 

He crawled off your futon and headed towards his own room leaving you there... before groaning and tossing the blankets aside. Another day, another parenting Rui adventure. Sigh. With no other choice you dragged yourself out of bed and into the bathroom. A cold bath and half an hour later, you were straightening out your hair when Rui tugged on your sleeve.

"Why are you taking so lllooong?," he whined Arachnid sleeping in his arms. "I wanna go now. "

You sighed. "Rui, your whining isn't going to make Akaza show up any faster-"

KNOCK, KNOCK,KNOCK!!

Both of you turned to the door-

"Father!" You winced at how loud Rui was. The door was thrown open and Rui's excited face gasped at the figure on the other side throwing his arms up! "FATHER!! YOU'RE BACK!!"

You turned just in time to see Rui get lifted off the ground and into the air by blue fingered hands. "You've gotten bigger since the last time I saw you!" Akaza smiled at the laughing boy he held. "How old are you now?"

"I'm going to be eleven in two more months!'

"Well then. I'll have to take you hunting for your birthday. We'll catch a really big buck!"

"Yes! Look!" The STILL sleeping puppy was held up to him. "I GOT A PUPPY!! SHE'S GOING TO HELP ME HUNT TIGERS!!" The puppy only yawned before flopping her head over in boredom again.

Akaza chuckled. "I'm sure she'll be a great hunting dog when she gets older. But right now you and your mother have to come with me to an important meeting today, so I'm afraid your puppy is going to have to wait here."

"Ah. Ok." Rui gave a small pout as he was out back down and looked at his puppy. "Sorry Arachnid. But Father seems to be very serious about this. You stay here and guard my toys from the maid." The pup yawned. "I knew I could count on you."

You both chuckled before Akaza looked at you with a smile. "I'm sorry for coming like this so early but Kokushibo requested both yourself and Rui comes to the meeting he's holding."

At this you looked confused. "Rui? I understand if he wants to see me, but why does Rui need to go?"

Akaza shrugged. "I'm not sure myself but if it's important enough to warrant his presence then I think he should come. Besides this will be a good chance for Rui to experience what Kizuki work is! Very educational. Education is good for children!"

You chuckled at him and nodded. "Sure. I guess that'll be good for him as long as he behaves himself."

Long story short Akaza escorted both yourself and Rui down a few hallways to a part of the Dwell you've never been to or seen before but it was certainly just as cleanly, polished, and fancy looking as the rest of the Dwell. A few servants were already walking around working and bowed as you both walked past them all. You still weren't used to that along with your new royalty status but you couldn't help that now. Rui happily was walking between you two although his face was went back to that serious blank stare he always had while looking at everyone. Probably trying to mirror Akaza's serious face as he also walked briskly. He lead you this way and that before eventually stopped in a place that..Was completely empty. Literally. It was eerily quiet and silent as you three were the only ones standing there.  No servants or anyone else in sight. Although for some reason you smelt the heavy scents of...food? Like smoked pork and sweet cakes and freshly baked bread being a few of them. Was someone cooking around here? You looked at Akaza for an answer. Akaza then held up a hand and knocked on the sliding door in front of him. For a moment there was silence and then someone on the other side spoke.

"Enter."

You recognized the deep voice instantly. The door was pushed open widely as you looked inside and Rui leaned over to peer from behind Akaza's legs. A rather large polished oak table sat there in the center of a beautifully decorated room. Fluffy pillows were stationed all around it and you found the source of the smells as you saw a large amount of food sat on top of the wooden surface. At the head of the table sat a demon with his back towards you, a purple and black coat drapped over his shoulders and a deadly katana set to his side. The head turned waving a waterfall of cascading mahogany hair and thee half lidded eyes looked at the three of you.

"I have been... expecting you all."

"Kokushibo," you politely greeted with a small bow. "It's certainly been awhile since I last saw you."

His eyes momentarily closed as he nodded his head back to you. "Yes. It has. It also seems to be.... that you have been up to.....things as well..from what I've heard." His eyes opened back up and stared at you. "Attacking Kizuki....and making quite a... ruckus of... yourself." You froze staring at him. "I will let it...all slide this...once as you didn't mean...to cause trouble...but further trouble won't be... tolerated."

"Uh..Good to know. Thanks I guess?"

"Come sit. We have much to discuss."

It was only then as you all were walking in did you notice that Kokushibo wasn't alone in the room. There was five other people in here with him. You stared at Mr. Hantengu and Zohakuten of all demons also looking confused your way, Douma sat propped up in some kind of chair pillow combo at the very end of the table away from you and waved at you. Oh. That's why you weren't annoyed by Douma's yelling from his room this morning, he still looked completely sick however. And then there was two figures that were both sat on Kokushibo's right side. You stopped cold. Purple eyes widened. 

THERE WAS TWO HUMANS SITTING AT THE TABLE.

Two very young humans. CHILDREN. Kokushibo had CHILDREN sitting next to him. They also stared at you with bright turquoise eyes and looked like they had been stuffing their faces with the food before you all walked in.  They both looked so young. They couldn't have been older than twelve tops. You three just stood there staring at one another in surprise before one of the boys scowled and turned away sharply. What were human children doing here in the Infinity Castle? You hadn't seen any other children here except for Ms. Rei. 

"Now we...shall begin this meeting." You were gently tugged into sitting down the closest to Kokushibo by Akaza right across from the two boys, and you were very aware of the way Akaza was glaring down both  Kokushibo and Douma with anger- "Akaza..You shall refrain from violence....in front of the children..'' 

Said pink demon looked angry but just scoffed again. "If we're speaking of matters that needs to be taken cared of, then who's going to be undoing everything Douma put his hands on?"

"Douma has done adequately...in running the castle...in our absence." Kokushibo paid Akaza no mind as the pink haired demon paused and Douma chuckled from the far end of the table, and picked up a few pieces of papers. All six eyes reading over the ink scribbled on them. "However...there are some concerns... with budget expenses..." his top pair of eyes looked right up to Douma and squinted. "Daily trips...to the spa? Dresses. Jewelry...Daki had unlimited access to that money."

Douma chuckled and Akaza gave a facepalm loud enough to make the children jump. "W-What can I say? I've got a weak spot f-for my favorite pupils."

"This is why I said NOT to leave him in charge," Akaza hissed with a growl straining from his mouth through clenched fangs.

Kokushibo's brow rose higher. "Amongst the expenses are...also toys, books, and other items...that you personally purchased for...a certain woman." His eyes clicked to you as you quickly turned your eyes away. "...From now on..no one but myself will have access to the Kizuki budget... unless given permission. I expect..you all to follow that. Douma..you shall fork over.. some of your own money..from your cult to make up for the full amount...Daki and yourself spent so carelessly on."

"Oh. You all are so mean to me-*COUGH COUGH*" Douma turned his head to cough his lungs out and Akaza smirked at the sight.

"On the subject of your cult...Your head priest has been informed about the.. situation and will continue to...take care of things until you are able again... However you shall remain here, until you get better...Akaza." Said demon looked at Kokushibo. "I don't like leaving my fiance...alone considering the circumstances...So for now...you will also remain in the.. Infinity Castle until our investigation is..concluded and..Douma can resume his place."

"What about our regular duties?"

"I will...split them up between the...other upper moons. Sekido and Urogi...shall assume your regular duties amongst the humans...while I dispatch Gyutaro to...keep a monitoring eye within ...the Eternal Paradise compound..."

"Ooh! What a wonderful idea! I know Gyutaro won't l-let me down!"

Kokushibo only hummed and removed the first paper to read the next. "Very well then...As for the obvious problem in the room...The investigation of the poisoning is under way...Jade has been imprisoned and held..until proven innocent."

"Don't you think you should prove she's guilty first before she's arrested?"

"She's not arrested.. she's simply being held on suspicion...Until evidence is provided then they both...shall stay there." All six eyes narrowed at Akaza. "Or would you rather risk...HER life?" Akaza froze. Looking from Kokushibo to you and giving you a long frightened look.. before deflating in defeat. "Thought as much...Now if no one else has anymore grievances about ...that particular situation...I will be addressing the reason I called the chikdren all here."

You were wondering that too. It made sense for Douma and Akaza to be here and you to an extent. But why were so many other people here? Why Rui? Why Mr. Hantengu and Zohakuten? And why these two strange young boys? Human boys at that! None of it made any sense.

"The main reason I have... called them here is because there...are important changes that will be made concerning their livelihoods." 

You then watched as his left hand left the papers to reach into his hoari coat and pull out a pair of... glasses. No. Three pairs of glasses?  No. One pair of glasses that when he nudged it, popped up a second and third pair to easily fit over his face as he simply kept staring at the papers. You've never seen such a contraption before. 

"SRK?!"

Your head turned to one of the human boys, the one whom scowled at you before, had snorted before turning his face aside. His snort was followed by a look from his brother and his shoulders lightly shaking.

"Yuichiro. Is there... something you want to say?" Kokushibo's eyes glanced at them but the boy shook his head without looking at him. "Hmm...Then let us begin." The paper was held up for him to look at closer. "The first order of business...is to address the new noble titles three of you...have gotten."

"Who?"

"He's referring to Rui." You looked at Akaza. "As you obtained a noble title by the defeat of Sakura, that title also applies to any children or spouse you have. So that would make Rui a young Lord."

Immediately Rui looked at Akaza starry eyed. "I'm royalty now?"

"That also applies to the two in front of you, but only because of their adoption by a lord-"

"Akaza...I can surely explain myself."  Akaza went silent as Kokushibo stared at him harshly. "As I was saying...There shall be two permanent... residents to the Dwell. The two before you...Are My children."

You whipped back to Kokushibo wife eyed. Children? Did he say HIS children?! But they didn't look demon at all- Oh wait. Akaza mentioned adoption right? You turned back to the boys as the older demon quickly gestured at them both before moving on.

"They'll be... staying in the Dwell until adulthood... Starting next week..They start school." Your held tilted at the boy whom still didn't look at anyone. "Grade Rank Two...Treat them as such. Zohakuten-"

"What's your name?" 

Everything. Fell. Silent 

Akaza sharply turned to you wife eyed as you DARED to interrupt Kokushibo. Hantengu whimpered ducking his head and covering his face. Douma tilted his head interested- Before coughing again. Kokushibo himself had gone eerily silent. Lowering the papers and slowly turning to stare as you happily smiled at the boys. 

"My name's Y/n," you said gesturing to yourself with a smile. "What's your name?" You asked smiling sweetly and gesturing to the boys.

The one boy whom still looked away didn't look at you but the other one did, blinking widely before speaking. " Muichiro..T-Tokito."

"Muichiro?" You giggled making him flinched as you smiled. "What a cute name! And you both have such pretty eyes!" 

"H-HUH?!" His face spotted an embarrassed pink as whom you assumed was his brother finally bothered to peek at you.

"I've never seen someone with eyes like yours. They're so pretty and they match your hair so nicely!" Both boys just...stared. Muichiro red in seeming embarrassment and his identical brother with narrowed eyes. 

"U-Um...T-Thank you. I-I've never seen someone quite look like you too. You're very pretty."

"Muichiro." The boy jumped and snapped to the other that scowled at him. "You don't even know her! Stop saying useless flatteries!" 

"I don't think they're useless." Both looked back to you and you rose a brow at the scowling one. "And you shouldn't be so rude to your brother like that." The other seemed taken aback when you called him out so bluntly. "Don't do that again. Now...What's your name?"

He gave you a frown and you were reminded of Rui whenever he pouted. "... Yuichiro. Not that it's any of your business-"

"Yuichiro."  Said boy froze as Kokushibo addressed him. "You forget your place....I brought you here to...better yourself...Do not show disrespect to my kindness...by acting disobedient and spoiled."

Yuichiro clenched his fists on his knees and frowned hard at the table but didn't say anything more. Muichiro gave his brother a worried look before he also looked down. You looked at them before at Kokushibo.

"Don't be so hard on them. They're new here, so They'll be needing some time to adjust. Children need guidance sometimes that's more than just scolding."

Kokushibo continued to stare at you half lidded thinking of something behind those eyes, before slowly nodding. "I will take your words...into consideration going forward." Both twins looked surprised at him then at one another. "As I was saying... Zohakuten. Your results from school are severely slipping... Your rank shall be stripped later this day."

"WHAT?!", the loud voice of the teenager raged as he stared at the top moon slamming his hands down on the table. "THAT'S UNREASONABLE AND YOU KNOW THAT!!"

"You are currently yelling...at someone whom could easily...defeat you. Obviously...you are not mature enough to realize that....If you can't keep up simple grades like...other children your age and showing... constant disrespect to your superiors....Then you are unfit for the position. And .. proving you are nothing but a... disgrace to not only the entire Kizuki but your family and even... yourself." The teenager instantly looked like someone slapped him...his body going limp. "Is there anything else you...want to say and shame yourself further?".... Zohakuten silently sat down and stared at the table. "At last you learn something...Douma..You shall stay stationed in the room you are in. I ...do not want anyone... getting any ideas.. while you're sickened."

You stared at Kokushibo and then at Zohakuten whom just stared at the table hard enough to almost burst it into flames. ... Before you looked back to Kokushibo. And an idea formed in your mind.

"Kokushibo." He hummed but didn't look up from the papers. "I have a question concerning the Kizuki."

"Ask."

"Will you and Akaza and...Douma have your chance to court me soon? So far you three are the only ones that haven't done so yet." 

Akaza immediately looked like he wanted to smack himself and Douma looked interested tilting his head at you. However Kokushibo nodded again without looking up still.

"Of course...Those two may do so... while they're here. I...have much work to do and ...will do it when I have time."

"Agreed! But...you promised you'd give me a proper courting gift once you got back." He paused looking up at you. Ok. You had his full attention now. "For my gift, I don't want anything physical. I want you to grant Zohakuten a second chance to prove himself." This time EVERYONE looked at you in some form of shock but you only smiled. "If he's having trouble then he needs suitable tutors. Get him some."

He continued to stare at you... before humming. "Interesting...You seem to believe my ruling is wrong."

"There's a place for discipline. But there's also a place for understanding and guidance. You can't grow a tree by just planting the seed, they need help from the rain and sun to grow a strong trunk. I doubt yourself was a natural born Kizuki without someone that helped you."

He continued to stare at you with lidded eyes before just looking back at the papers. You frowned. Did it not work-

"A few months.." You blinked. "He has until the very end of the year...to show improvement in BOTH...his attitude and schooling....And it must be both. Not just one....If he meets my expectations..by the end of the year....then he may keep his Kizuki position. Your gift....is granted."

You blinked at him.. before smiling widely and clasping your hands. "Oh thank you!!" And before Akaza could stop you, you leaned up and easily threw your arms around Kokushibo whom froze completely off guard as you hugged him tightly. AKAZA held up his hands but didn't touch you as you pressed a kiss into the multi-eyed demon's cheek. "MWAH!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!" You then let go of him and sat back and smiled.

He sat there looking at nothing in the silence as everyone else stared in shock... before he slowly reached up a hand and fixed his crooked glasses and ignored the lipstick kiss marks on his face. "Now...As I was saying...Akaza...I was informed by Rui's tutors that they want ....to have him skip a grade Rank...and settle into Rank Four next year...as he is rather intelligent for...his age...Do you and the mother wish...to do that?"

"Uh...."Golden blue eyes continued to stare at the lipstick on his cheek before slowly nodding. "Sure. That sounds great. He'll get a great bump to his education."

"Well...Sure. Only if Rui' thinks he can handle it."

"I can!" Rui threw a hand up and puffed up his chest. "I can handle anything."

Kokushibo nodded. "Then the arrangements will be made...The children and Douma will be mostly in care of the one...whom can handle them best. ...I will also make...those arrangements in the Dwell..."

You smiled proudly at yourself and patted Rui's head. Things WERE starting to look up for you all. 

Douma coughed again. "I-Is there anything else W-We need to discuss while we're here, Kokushibo-dono?"

Kokushibo turned to the last page. "Ah yes...The new system in place ...for keeping out anymore...human brides from the Eastern mountain border."

....This might be a long night after all.

The meeting went on for another two and a half hours as you sat there and ate until Kokushibo FINALLY called the meeting to an end going on about some kind of system to distribute water to a certain irrigation system on the human plain. Something about farmers needing it in some drought? You weren't sure. The first thing Akaza did was pick up Rui whom laughed and held him with one arm.

"Now that I'm off work, what do you wanna do?"

"Come play with me!," Rui excited tugged on him, "I can show you my new toys!"

"Ah. So that's where the toy expenses went." You embarrassly covered your face as a strong arm wrapped around your shoulders. "Come on. It'll be nice to have you both around me once more."

"Akaza-dono!! Don't I get to come too!?"

"You're only going back where Nakime sends you!! The last thing I need is you giving Rui any ideas!'

"Boo. You wound me so- *COUGH COUGH*"

You sighed as Akaza steered you away from the room and could only wonder if Akaza remembered that Douma was literally right across from you. With the day coming to a close Akaza spent what was left of it just sitting down and allowing Rui to babble on and show him the multiple toys he'd gotten overtime before insisting on Rui go to bed and just leaving but not before praising you and in turning you giving him a massive kiss leaving him with a red lips and lovestruck smile as he left making you giggle. However there was some sort of peace now. Only now there was a few more problems loomed in the background which you wouldn't find out until the next morning-

"YYYYYYY/NNNNNNN!!!!!" Purple eyes blinked open as a shrill cry left the air. "HEEEEELP MEEEE!! I CAN'T GET ANY FOOOOD!!!"

And so on and so forth until you dragged yourself out of bed and out into the hall where you found a tray with a large amount of food just left in front of Douma's door...which you opened and found Douma sitting there 'happily' smiled at you. 

"My darling! Thank goodness you answered my pleas for help! I was helplessly sitting here without anything else to eat." He pressed a hand to his forehead. "How tragic."

"Why didn't they just bring it in to you?," you asked annoyed leaning down to pick up the slightly heavy tray, "You're too weak to walk still."

"Oh. Well they're afraid to catch my illness so they made arrangements for you to care for me.~" he smirked and you blinked... before scowling.

"What?! I didn't agree to this!'' You marched in and just harshly sat the tray down in the blonde Demon's lap as he chuckled. "When did everyone decide I would be your sitter?!"

"Since Kokushibo assured them it would be alright to have you help if they or I needed it.". 

Your eyes widened before they narrowed. "Of course he would. Ugh!" You facepalmed and grumbled. "I'll need to have a talk with him later."

"Well he did say we'd be able to court you while we're here." A book was shoved at you and he smiled wider. "Why don't you read to me some more while you're here? After all we're going to spend a lot of time together."

You deadpanned before grabbing the book from his hand and pointed it at him. "I'll make sure you regret this."

He chuckled- Which turned into another round of coughing and him pounding his chest. This was going to be a long day.

"Also I've noticed that out of everyone that's courting you, I-Im the only one who hasn't gotten a kiss." A glass shattering sound went off in your head. "So may I kiss you?"

"...What?!"

"May I kiss you please?"

You deadpanned again. "Oh. Of cccoooouurrsse."

"Really?!"

"No!" You firmly say down just outside of his reach and opened the book. "Now be silent and keep your voice down or I'll leave. Eat your food and be quiet."

"Feisty this morning aren't we?"

"Only when you're involved. Now where was I?" Your eyes scanned the pages until you reached where you last left off. "Oh yes. The darkness of the night hugged her close as she-"

BANG!!

You yelped and fell over in fright as the sliding door slammed open with a woman and man standing there panting and teary eyed and clinging to the door hard enough to leave claw marks in the wood. 

The woman stared right at Douma... before letting her eyes go more teary and whining louder. "DDDOOOOUUUMMMAAAA!!!"

"Oh Daki. My sweet, beautiful child." He smiled at the two visitors he received and held his arms out. "Aw. Don't cry. I'm alright." Daki's response was to whine louder and instantly go to hug the older demon. Douma patting her back as she messily sniffled and ugly cried into his shoulder. "Oh Gyutaro. You're here too! I always knew you had a soft spot for dear old men.~"

"Uh...Yeah. Here." A random handful of flowers was just dropped on Douma's legs. "Get better soon...and stuff." It was then that a familiar green haired demon looked at your deadpanned face staring at the ceiling. "What the hell are you doing on the floor?"

"Admiring the ceiling." You then sat up onto your elbows to look at Gyutaro. "What are you two doing here? I thought you guys were doing stuff for Kokushibo."

Gyutaro grunted. "Was. Came as soon as someone told us someone was sick." He must've been referring to Kokushibo telling Gyutaro what to do with Douma sick. "Didn't know you'd be here too."

"Yeah. Someone has to look after the giant baby. Nice of you to drop by though."

"We're not staying for long. Too much work to do. I'll wait until my sister's done crying."

You glanced at Douma half hugging half patting Daki's crying head. "How long will that take?"

"No idea."

It was a long day after all. It was almost forever waiting for Daki to stop crying and eventually Gyutaro had to rip off his sister and throw her over his shoulder to leave as work couldn't wait, and they only stopped by briefly to make sure Douma would be alright. It was actually kinda sweet of them. However Douma would not be less annoying. Half the time he babbled your head off with useless topics and half the other time he just dead ass stared at you and no where else. It was creepy. You were finally able to leave with the excuse Rui would be home from school soon.

"YYYY/NNNN!!! I'M BBBBOOOORRRDDD!!", He whined as you stood in the doorway with a blank face. "I'm sorry I called you my little wife. I just wanted attention!"

"And how many times did you call me your wife despite us barely being engaged?"

"Twenty seven!," he happily chirped. Your answer was to just close the door in his face. "Y/N?!" 

''JUST READ ONE OF THE BOOKS I GAVE YOU!!"

'YYYYY/NNNNN-"

"WHAT?!"

"You didn't say good night!~"

"UUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!" You glared at the door as he laughed before starting another coughing fit before turning around and stamping off across the hall to your room. Not even bothering to knock on it, you just threw it open. And paused as four pairs of eyes stared back at you. "...Akaza?"

Said linked haired demon stared at you from his criss crossed position on the floor and surrounding him was Rui and the two twins you had seen just the other day. In their hands were papers and books. And what looked like the remains of a dinner. All of them stared at you and Akaza raised a hand in the middle of drinking something.

"Hey. Was wondering when you would get back. How's the baby?"

"Um... Douma's fine. What are all of you doing here?"

"Watching the children as they study. I would've gone to fetch you.." A few veins popped up along his arm as he restrained himself not to outright rage in front of the young children. "But Kokushibo said that I'm not to interfere with Douma's courting of you. He wants you to chose without outside persuasion."

"Oh. Well that's kind of him." Speaking of Kokushibo, you needed to have a talk with him later. "How's the studying going?...And why are Kokushibo's children here?"

"Fine. All three children are rather clever.  Kokushibo is unable to tend to them right now and is tending to things in the Master's place, so I took the liberty of looking out for them while I remain here."

You smiled at him. Aw! That was so cute of him! "That's so nice of you!" You then tilted your head at Muichiro. "And how are you two doing?"

He smiled and nodded. He looked so sweet smiling. "Your son showed us his puppy! She's very sweet!"

"Just you wait! Once Arachnid is old enough to not need anymore puppy naps, Father and I are going to train her to be a hunting dog!," Rui exclaimed with a determined face, "I plan on getting lots of big game! Aren't we father?"

Akaza chuckled as Rui looked at him. "Absolutely. But not until you're a little stronger. Next year I'm going to start training you. You'll learn how to fight and use your demon arts with perfection."

"Wow." Muichiro was practically staring starry eyed at them both. "We train too!" He happily exclaimed holding up his hands. "He's been training us on how to use swords since we were seven! He says soon we'll be able to learn a breathing technique like him or another one of his students!"

Breathing technique?...Does he mean like the one Kaigaku was able to weild? Did Kokushibo also posses the ability to use breathing techniques? You've only seen a few people able to use the special abilities some warriors use to fight against one another and others. Kaigaku was the only demon you knew that could utilize such a skill. You'd definitely have to speak to Kokushibo.

"Hmph. He spends so much time with his duties and training us, that we barely get to do anything else with our lives," Yuichiro spoke with a sour expression. "The only reason why we're even here is because he said we need an education on top of training!  As is we don't have enough to worry about!"

You gave Yuichiro a curious look as he just scowled down at his books.. before an idea popped into your mind. "Hm. Well ...You all get a day off in three days from school, and I know a really cool looking toy store nearby." Both boys looked at you although Yuichiro was slower to turn his head to you. "Or a bookstore if you'd rather read, and this a few places outside the Infinity Castle like a big meadow with a pond or an entire mountain side of cherry blossoms. If you boys can keep your grades up and behave then I'll start taking you both and Rui there with me! What do you think?"

Both twins stared at you then at each other but Rui was instant in his reaction. "Yes! I want to go fishing again without that green eyed pervert bothering us!!"

"I've always wanted to visit one of those places!" Muichiro practically lit up like a bright candle. 

"Hmph. ...Fine. But it's not like I asked." Yuichiro mumbled nudging a page over. 

"Then it's settled. I'll take you all to see some cherry blossoms soon!"

"This is going to be great!" Muichiro looked at you brightly. "I knew I was right when you'd be a great mother!"

"*CHOKE* PFFFFTTTT?!"

"That's disgusting!!," Yuichiro yelled out as Akaza choked and spat out his drink.

Akaza proceeded to pound his fist against his chest and went into a coughing fit. You stared jaw dropped in shock. Douma loudly laughed from a room over. Yuichiro stared in disgust where Akaza spat as Muichiro stared happily. And Rui stared in awe at Muichiro before throwing his hands up.

"I FINALLY HAVE BROTHERS!!"

*********************************************************************************

The air was getting oddly warmer and he wasn't sure he liked that or not. He often didn't even feel warm just a dull numbing cold. The cold usually didn't bother him either. In fact he relished it very much. His senses were also dulled to a very uncomfortable degree. He couldn't sense figures from fair away anymore and he often felt his ears and nose was clogged like being underwater only not and being light headed. And he discovered a very good observation.

BEING SICK SUCKED!! 

And even his best friend wouldn't visit him. Boo. At least his little prodigies were so kind enough to visit him. Speaking of visitors-

"My senses might be dulled, but I can still sense you.~" Rainbow irises turned to stare at six eyes and smiled widely. "Im so happy you decided to visit me, Kokushibo-dono."

"Still your tongue." A menacing figure walked from around his left and into view beside him. "Your body is.... starting to recover already."

"Oh yes! Two days ago I couldn't feel my legs, but now not only can I feel them I can also move them now..*cough cough cough*....Oh. Excuse me. My lungs still burn when I breathe."

"Hmm...Do not... attempt to walk just yet. You need to still... heal a great deal."

"Will do!" He held a hand up. "But what brings you to visit me so late at night? Akaza-dono mentioned that you were very busy."

"I'm contemplating something but need....your confirmation on a few details...to make a decision." Douma tilted his head with a curious 'oh' leaving his mouth as he stared at him as glassy eyed as a goldfish. "What did the woman do to warrant....you visiting her that first time?"

"Oh you must mean Sakura!" He happily nodded. "Well for whatever reason she had gotten it into her pretty head that it would be a good idea to challenge our darling little lotus and not only that, but attacked my sweet little Daki as well. *sigh* You should've seen the poor dear so distressed. Of course I only let Sakura off with a warning!  After all girls will be girls and petty arguments happen, but then she tried to off our darling when she confronted her. Naturally as the caring person I am, I was going to let her go find her own eternal paradise... Bbbbuuutt Darling convinced me to arrest her instead and leave her to you to deal with."

"And of her...sister?"

"Oh now THAT'S a much more boring tale." Douma waved him off with a few coughs. "Didn't show much emotion. Very cold woman that one. Never would've worked between us as she insulted my sweet Daki's capabilities. That is all I needs to know to make my decision. Why do you ask me of the sisters?"

"The one whom had those....flowers delivered to the Dwell...was a human florist on the surface...A servant of their...house placed the order thinking it... wouldn't be traced to them...If not directly by them."

"Oh I see. Jade paid off a servant to deliver the poison from an outside source. Very clever."

"Could she be... capable of doing that?"

"Jade? Without a doubt. She's definitely clever enough and would definitely do that on her sister's behalf." His head tilted more. "What are you thinking about now?"

"....Treason... attempted murder of someone whom is...off limits....Attacks on the Kizuki...poisoning.... Illegal possession of wysteria and a love potion... destruction of the Infinity Castle....My choice is clear...I shall contact Lower Moon Three and inform Hairou that...they shall both be executed immediately."

Douma hummed brows rising. "Would that be for the crimes they committed? Or... because of a certain lady?~"

"....My statement stands....Get well and back to your duties."

[thepenultimateword]

Hello!! Can I request a captive x captor prompt list? I don't know if that's something up your alley, but your prompt lists have a wide variety and have helped me get out of some sticky spots (that I wrote myself into lol). If not, that's totally fine too. I appreciate your work ❤

Sure thing! Imma do my best to make them non-toxic/non-Stockholm syndrome-y because that’s more comfy for me. But thank yooou! I’m so glad that my prompts have been able to help you at all! Sometimes I wonder, so that’s really nice to know!

A pirate crew captures a selkie and intends to sell it at a dark enchanted market of different creatures and rarities. However, the more one of the pirates spends time guarding their captive, the more they dread pawning them off to the highest bidder. But how can they commit mutiny against their crew and captain, the only family they know? Especially for a creature that most definitely hates them. 2. When a human steps into a faerie circle, the fae in question is ecstatic. Their fellow fae friend has a birthday coming up and a taste for unique items and eccentricities. Actual conscious animals are hard to come by, but a human transformed into an animal? Much easier. And how is Other Fae to know the difference?

3. After trying their food by chance, a royal forces a local cook into their employ as their personal chef. Though the royal spoils them with nice quarters, unlimited ingredients, and a ridiculously high wage, the chef cannot forgive them for taking away their freedom. Meanwhile, the royal, whose love language is food, falls deeper in love with each meal.

4. Pirates are to be hanged. That is the law. However, when a recently arrested pirate is up for execution, the city's lord visits them with a bargain: their life for their service as a guard. The lord's child has recently bought a ship and is insistent on sailing around the world, oblivious of their own inexperience and naivety. And everyone knows there's no one more sea-smart than a pirate. However, their child, having no idea of the deal, begins catching feelings for their gruff crew member who always seems to be there for them.

5. Dragons have taken humans captive since the days of knights and princesses. It is no different for the modern-day city dragons, though the reason has become foggier over the centuries. Is it for hoarding? For food? Love? All the dragon knows is their instincts screamed at them to take this person, so they did. Except now they're riddled with guilt. On the other hand, they picked on of the only humans who would be ok with this development. A dragon scientist/expert who is over the moon to study a member of the rare species up close.

6. Human pests are always breaking into the giant's home, stealing their supplies, wealth, and anything else they can get their tiny grubby hands on. They decide to put up traps, but when they actually succeed in catching one of the thieves, they're not sure what to do with them. They don't want to kill them, but they certainly can't let them go either.

7. A monster hunter is taken captive by one of the very monsters they once caught and sold. The monster escaped a couple years ago, but not without serious scars, both emotional and physical. They intend to make the monster hunter share their pain, but the hunter is so much more ragged and tired then they remember. It seems they’ve become broken and scarred all on their own.

8. Knowing that planet earth is about to be destroyed, a group of aliens breaks protocol and abducts a few hundred humans in order to preserve the race. However, the humans, whether uninformed or wracked with grief are none too happy about this development. The ship’s captain tries to keep them isolated to one area of the ship, believing it will be easier to them adjust to one factor at a time, but one of the humans is always escaping, and searching the captain out. The captain is still only semi-fluent in human, but their addresses usually involve a lot of shrieking and spitting.

9. Vampires are merciless, bloodthirsty monsters; the vampire Hunter knows this from much experience. So why are they having such a hard time finishing this one? Pretty hair and a sunshiny attitude are not reason enough!

10. The detective is the only thing standing in the way of the criminal’s success and freedom. They should take this chance, catching the detective helpless and off guard, to get rid of them permanently. But…the detective has also been the only constant in their life for years. They’ve dedicated so much time to impressing and thwarting them and the detective so much time to chasing them. Maybe they shouldn’t rush it and keep hold of them a little longer.

11. A royal is almost assassinated and the hitman is put in the dungeons. The royal insists on talking to their would-be-killer themselves and what starts as an interrogation transforms into a daily storytelling session, with the royal hounding the assassin for information about the outside world. As the assassin’s execution date looming, the trapped royal’s desire to leave grows. If anyone could take them away from this place, it would be assassin, but can that trust them not to finish the job they were hired for?

12. After kidnapping Sidekick multiple times as leverage, it is Villain’s turn to be a hostage. In all their captures, Sidekick discovered a familial connection between Villain and Supervillain, and with Supervillain on the verge of mass destruction, Sidekick is going to exploit it. Surrender or Villain will be killed. Except Sidekick has no experience with hostages and is relying on all of Villain’s advice on how to keep them secure. At first it’s manipulation, but after a while…Villain doesn’t really want to leave anymore.

[voidartisan]

More Ideas for TCW Modern AU

No war no drama just a wholesome family sitcom

There is DEFINITELY a roadtrip at some point. Ideally all the clones are shoved into one van and have invited Anakin and Ahsoka and maybe Obi-Wan and Plo to join them

There's a plot point about Korkie getting his driver's license, or Anakin losing his, or both

Ahsoka runs for student council against Lux Bonteri

Yoda teaches the neighborhood kids martial arts and the clones get an "I'll Make a Man Out of You" style training montage

They try to throw a surprise birthday party for Satine but inevitably bungle it somehow

Satine, Padme and Ahsoka have a spa day and Anakin gets arrested

Korkie plays matchmaker

Anakin definitely has a car in the garage that he's working on but has to go to ridiculous lengths to get parts for

Lux, Ahsoka, Korkie, and Barriss all get assigned to the same group for a school project

Fives brings home an espresso machine and all the clones are vibrating at the speed of sound within two days. Cody and Rex have to lock it in the attic and eventually defend it like the last two survivors in a zombie apocalypse movie. Fives sees that it has gone too far and sells it on ebay

Bo-Katan is Korkie's Cool Aunt who lets him do things Satine would not approve of. She occasionally shows up for a couple days with no notice and weirdly prescient gifts for her nephew, crashes on the couch for a night, and then disappears the next morning.

Obi-Wan stress bakes

Obi-Wan and Satine decide to take a week-long vacation to celebrate their anniversary, leaving Anakin in charge. This proves to be a Bad Idea and Plo has to save the day

Lux, Ahsoka, Korkie, Anakin and Barriss go ghost hunting in the abandoned house down the street (all the spooky stuff is just Yoda messing with them)

Rex is constantly looking for excuses to stay over for dinner because both Satine and Obi-Wan are excellent cooks. most of his brothers are... less so.

There's a running gag about Yoda's garden being attacked by demon rabbits that can chew through chicken wire. It's heavily implied that the clones are behind this so that Plo can be the Best Gardener In The Neighborhood, but the bunnies are actually just Like That

Obi-Wan has one of those four-person chessboards that he pulls out on family game nights when Anakin isn't home. Satine is the reigning champion.

Barriss sleeps over and Ahsoka begs everyone to be normal but the fire deparment ends up having to get involved

The clones never discuss it but there's a jar in the background stuffed with coins and bills labeled 'dirt bike fund'

There's a community talent show for some reason. Korkie spends the entire episode doing unrelated and increasingly bizarre things. When anyone asks him about it he says he's preparing for his act. Quinlan keeps trying to get Obi-Wan to do a sword-fighting demonstration with him. The only performance we see in full is Fives's theatrical rendition of "oh where is my hairbrush". All we know about Korkie's act is that he leaves the stage to thunderous applause and Satine and Obi-Wan are in the audience holding hands and shedding tears of pride and joy.

So much potential for holiday episodes

Grandpa Dooku turns up unannounced for thanksgiving dinner (extra tension provided by the fact the Obi-Wan is clearly the favorite grandchild)

Ahsoka, Korkie and Lux try to catch a halloween vandal that turns out to be Barriss

4th of July shenanigans (with fireworks)

Valentine's Day episode where Anakin is consistently foiled in attempts to slip away to see Padme by Ahsoka looking for boy advice because Bariss thinks Lux has a crush on her. Subplot with Obi-Wan and Satine trying to have their first romantic dinner date in like three years but things KEEP COMING UP.

Sentimental Father's Day episode where Anakin and Obi-Wan remember Qui-Gon, and Ahsoka and Korkie attempt to find the PERFECT gifts for Plo and Obi-Wan, respectively (Ahsoka has already found her gift for Obi-Wan, it's that one card that says "what is a dad? you. you is a dad." she knows he'll secretly treasure it), and think they've failed miserably but everything turns out okay and it's very wholesome and a little cheesy.

Wholesome christmas episode where Anakin and Padme have their gift of the magi moment and Ahsoka has to hide that she accidentally found out what Plo is getting her and Satine and Korkie and Obi-Wan make a ridiculoulsy elaborate gingerbread house to bond and relax and the clones and Quinlan have a disastrous holiday light competition (Cody gets to be a little bit feral in this one. as a christmas gift. to himself)

Next season someone is sabotaging the light competition. It turns out to be Obi-Wan, who just wanted to bake cookies and put up his lights in peace like a normal person, which he finds extremely difficult when his neighbors are SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER in their front yards

Cliffhanger at the end of a season where Padme finds out that she's pregnant with twins.

We find out that Leia and Luke call Obi-Wan "Uncle Ben" because his name is really hard to pronounce for two-year-olds and everything they said came out sounding like Ben anyway

When the twins get older there's a very popular clothing brand called Rebel Scum and they get a shirt for Obi-Wan so that he can "be hip with the youngsters." (quoting Luke)

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Those leto fan girls are so annoying and pathetic actually. And I'm off anon because I don't want their asses to say I'm "weak". No one cares you're not part of the fandom anymore. And yes the evan fandom can be awful. But so much of the toxicity was often caused by them. And sorry we are gonna call you out for stanning someone with multiple allegations against him. It is not the same as when people slander evan to defend emma. There are actual allegations against that man. People are not obsessed with them just pointing out how stupid it is to complain about EVAN'S fandom when you stan a man like that. Like it's laughable actually.

well! happy sunday night all. i have dozens and dozens of messages about this topic and i don't want you guys to think i'm ignoring you - i am not. but i don't think it serves anyone to dogpile and make post after post about this. @evanboodaddy @letsxriot i received your messages as well so i will address this here:

i just want to start off by saying this: i'm not here to police who anybody is a fan of. i really do not care if someone is a fan of jared leto, not because i believe he is innocent of the allegations against him - quite frankly, where there is smoke, there is fire. the odds are very likely that he is a nefarious person who has done things that would be unforgivable if proven. but they are not proven at this time - no arrest or charges, and i am not familiar enough with him to make a conclusive judgement and even if i was.. he would be one of like, a million men in hollywood who are guilty of just as bad and worse, so i do not have the time nor mental bandwidth to be concerned with his proclivities.

but outside of that? look, no one can constantly troll/make remarks intended to inflame, and not expect to get a reaction. it's disingenuous to act as though you are minding your business and evan's fans are being unfairly critical. to be honest, i am well aware the only reason you both have taken a turn and are speaking against evan's fandom is because you feel you were essentially pushed out because people ''hate'' and want to cancel you. every time you logged on it was like you were fending off people upset with you, but if you were truly above it, you would not be incessantly speaking on evan and his fans in a derogatory manner, - you'd simply move onto the next male celebrity you stan, as you both have done previously, no big deal. your accounts did not begin as evan fan accounts, in fact, before dahmer you both never mentioned his name. what is happening now, you becoming fans of someone else and moving on, is par for the course and nothing to apologize for. no one should be mad at someone quietly moving onto a different fandom, for any reason.

i hope you will consider that you can participate in fandom and not feel the need to dedicate the majority of your time to engaging with people who hate the celebrity you stan. and to be fair, you have no right to talk down to the anonymous people on my blog when you created numerous troll accounts to argue with ''haters'', per jessie herself. you perpetuating a cycle of making remarks to anger people and then being frustrated you're disliked is not serving you in any positive way and it doesn't have to be like this. fandom is to enjoy, and i don't see how this is enjoyable. you are setting yourself up to be in a constant loop of hate and defending your fav against every person who speaks negatively about them. i will not disagree that there are some very toxic and draining people in this fandom, but allowing them to affect your enjoyment of it is a decision as far as i'm concerned. if you two stop addressing the fandom i'm pretty sure all would be forgotten by most in a couple of weeks, but the tit for tat will just keep things continuing in perpetuity.

either way.. only you can decide that. i understand a lot of folks are riled up but i just don't see there ever being a resolution to this and it's just ridiculous to me, i don't see the point in continuing to address inflammatory tweets that are obviously baiting you to do just that.

[abybweisse]

Why is undertaker's scythe an actual Scythe unlike the other reapers?? And do grim repaers have their scythes specially made for themselves? What is so special about him that they decided to give him an real scythe?

Undertaker's scythe, revisited

All of these questions have been discussed in my blog before, in some fashion. Perhaps try searching it for stuff like "agriculture" or "agricultural". Or "Undertaker's death scythe" or "Cedric of Rotherwood".

But, for quick answers, I'll break it down like this:

1. That's what he chose. Either that sort of scythe was new technology when he first became a reaper (Cedric of Rotherwood from Ivanhoe parallel) because he's really that old... or a death scythe that looks like an actual scythe is the regulation version that reapers usually get once they complete their training. And he either didn't modify it after turning it from sickle to scythe, or he only modified it a bit, like adding the skeletal details.

Since I think he's very old, and because he was the "epitome" of a reaper, I think this is the only design he would have wanted.

2. It's explained in the manga that once reapers complete their training, they get to modify their death scythes. Othello's sickle is a training version because he never modified it at all. He admits that to Grelle when we are first introduced to him.

Grelle's most-recent modification apparently wasn't made until working with Madam Red inspired the chain saw design. One of the reasons William arrests Grelle is because of this unauthorized modification. That means it's new. Grelle later gets the modification approved. Ronald's modification is also fairly new, probably made just before we meet him, and he had to chat up a lady from the reaper HQ's modification department (or whatever) to get it. Honestly, I think both of them have ridiculous designs for death scythes. Not only is it gruesome to hit a person with rotating blades, but any death scythe that relies on rotation is easily disrupted: we've seen Sebastian stop Grelle's with a wool coat, and we've seen Layla/Al stop Ronald's with what might be regular scissor blades. Ludger might have a similar weakness in the design of his hedge trimmer.

3. At the time, nothing about Undertaker (136649) would have seemed special at all... beyond him refusing to go by his name. I suspect that he's really that old. All the reapers long ago would have probably used death scythes that look like scythes.

What's so special about the (relatively) newer reapers -- like Grelle, Ludger, and Ronald -- that they'd be approved to use power tools as death scythes?

[thecherokeediaries]

Let’s Talk About Chrisean

In recent years, Zeus network has become one of the most streamed networks amongst young people. Amassing over millions of viewers due to their reality shows it was inevitable that new stars will arise in the spotlight. Chrisean ‘Rock’ Malone is one of them. Gaining attention from being on a couple of reality shows both on Zeus Network, and a competition reality show she has become one of them more popular influencers that we have at the moment. People are in amazement of her own shock of her, she has become one of the most polarizing reality stars we’ve seen today. Most people in my community seem to idolize her and love her for her raw personality but that’s not the case for me.

Whenever you see Chrisean Rock trending, it’s never for a good reason. Chrisean is often trending for getting arrested, a fight, a domestic dispute she had with her abusive boyfriend, or her doing something completely, and utterly ridiculous. But more commonly, her relationship with the rapper, blue face is on the forefront of most of our Twitter and social media timelines. We know almost every negative aspect about their relationship whether that be them, physically, emotionally, mentally abusing each other. The world is their audience. While it makes me uncomfortable, it seems like the audience are egging it on. I don’t find them funny, at all.

I often see people say that they ‘love’ Chrisean, and they are actively rooting for her to get her life together. I can safely say that they don’t love her nor are they rooting for her. People love seeing Chrisean the way she is, which is literally always in distress. The fighting, crying, the arguing gets a rise out of people, and no one wants to see a train wreck better themselves. What’s miserable to see, is the fact that she genuinely thinks that people like her for who she is. The people around Chrisean exploits her because they know she makes great TV, she makes them great TV at her own expense. Before the fame, Chrisean was an athlete, playing both football and running track, and she was on a competitive reality show in which she won.

It all went down words when she met the rapper Blueface, and they’ve been in the on and off relationship since. Since the relationship, I’ve never seen someone gradually lose themselves chasing after a guy who obviously doesn’t care about them. Blueface is emotionally, abusive and manipulative and physically abusive as well. She also indulges in being emotionally and physically abusive, but whenever someone talks about it seriously it’s always pond off as they are in love with each other. It even went as far as them getting their own show that shows the severity of their relationship. People thought it was entertaining, and also was saying that people who criticized them being in love that it was not our place to judge, and that we don’t know what real love looks like. Chrisean is very obviously in a toxic relationship that no one cares about you because they find it funny/entertaining.

This furthers my point in saying that people don’t take Chrisean seriously as a person and don’t really love her or want her to do better with her life. Chrisean is currently pregnant with the rappers child and has since continued her same behaviors that she has had before the pregnancy. She thought that pregnancy would knock some sense into her, and she would start being kinder to herself, but that did not happen. I often show concern for her because she is someone who is not too far off in age from me, to see someone be exploited, and so publicize the way she is it’s alarming, because as long as she’s someone who is an influencer, or who is known for a particular thing, they won’t encourage her to change as a person, or to get her life on straight. She struggles with substances often either drunk or high, even during pregnancy, and no one has stepped in to help her. It kind of opens your eyes to see how expletive the influencers/reality TV star lifestyle.

I don’t think this is funny nor do I think other people should find this funny. We have to do better as a community to callout problems as we see it. Chrisean Rock would be so much better than what she currently is however, she’s stuck in a lifestyle and no one cares enough to take her seriously and get her some help.

[the-white-soul]

We've got some good thoughts already, aside from Sans. The only thing he's eager about is quitting. You can't blame him with how hard this all is, but we have to win this case despite that!

Let's see... During the war, we couldn't even manage to take one life while countless monsters died. They were also allowed to make these murders since it's a given of war, but all this means is monsters haven't manage to kill anyone until Asgore's seven souls. Humans are much more bloodthirsty, and most monsters could hardly even hurt humans if they tried. At the point when souls were taken, we were forced to do so just to live free from a barrier which was put in place for no real reason in the first place. Monsters were innocent for the longest time and beaten down on by humans for that one instance with the curious child who absorbed the soul of their already dead friend. The kid didn't even try to harm anyone with it, like Alphys said.

I'd like to say I should go as a witness as well since I also know asgore well and grew up in politics so I know how things work, but then again I didn't perform well last speech and I might ruin this again in addition to sparking some negative reactions just by showing me face.

Speaking of, d'you think people are going to try to take me for murder? Or would the police not care since that human was obviously an idiot? At least I hope it was obvious.

(Kara) "Honestly, I have no idea. How hasn't he been arrested? I'm happy about it but confused." (John) "While you are probably a criminal, you are a criminal of war, so…" (Dess) "It doesn't matter. We have great security." (Kara) "People spraypainted your house." (Dess) "They were protecting you. They are everywhere." (Kara) "Spies cost money." (Dess) "You want to know how we can afford everything? There's one monster who's so popular even some humans give him plenty of money." (Mettaton) "It's me, darlings! You can see why, can't you? I'm so glamorous it connects the world because everyone agrees I'm hot." (Kara) "Whatever pays. Now, one last question." (Dess) "What is it?" (Kara) "What will we do with the Anons?" (Dess) "I was about to ask the same thing."

(Kara) "How many problems can we handle? I feel like I'm about to explode. You can change your voice, as well. Great, now you could all be psychos. 'Hey Kara, did you have enough stress today? No? Well, let's make it so you want to pull out your hair and punch yourself so hard you'll be unconscious. Won't that be great?'Looks around and sees the monsters hiding behind a chair. Sorry, something slipped out. Now, how did you get here? Cause when one person gets in…"

(Kara) "Wait, Chara did this again?" (Dess) "Um, Kara? I don't mean to alarm you too much, but we're not hiding because of you." Kara turns around and sees Chara pop out. (Chara) "Howdy!" (Kara) "Oh shit!" (Chara) "Don't worry, I'm not here because of blood lust. Well, not now. Tee hee. I'm here because I thought a flower would've been my mailman, but he seems too afraid. Don't worry. I'll tell them. Winks. You see, I think you should take this more seriously." (Kara) "Why?" (Chara) "Oh, let's just say monsters will be free one way or another, whether it's by death or love. Most likely both. I guess you've met some of the anons. I thought about giving you a little fun because we all know how boring court dramas can be." (Dess) "Don't you want monsters having less discrimination? How does bringing more hate solve anything?" (Chara) "Well, if you can't handle a simple creature like an anon, you should give up! I promise you I'll make it quick." No one spoke. The wind could've gone 1 MPH, and everyone would've heard it. (Chara) "Okay! If you want a ridiculous trial, then who am I to judge? Good luck! Try not to die to the anons!"

[theroseempress]

Greetings, denizens of Tumblr, men, women, and potplants!

I randomly decided this blog needed an introductory post, so here we are.

Any of my writing/art can be found at the #my writing and #my art tags respectively. My current WIP, The Golden City, can be found at #the golden city or #tgc if I'm lazy. I have any number of background projects, which can all be found at #backburner wips.

Random details about me include; I'm a writer/artist in training, self-taught for both, and a professional bullshitter. I also like cats better than dogs, drink a lot of hot cocoa and coffee, and recently discovered I might be intolerant to milk, which I am VERY salty over. I'm also a professional procrastinator, and am actually procrastinating from something by writing this very post.

I come in several different flavours of neurodivergent!

I am also a coloured pencil. No, I will not elaborate.

You can call me any variation of my blog name, R, or Rose, whichever you like. (if you somehow know me IRL and thus know my actual name; no you do not)

I'm chill with basically anyone (whatever your opinions are on anything) as long as you can be respectful about them. While I do have opinions on all controversial topics (being as I am a Human Bean and thus biased) I prefer to stay firmly neutral and out of any Important Debates/politics.

Oh, and I adore tag/ask games, feel free to drop in with anything at any time, but I am erratically efficient with answering so it maay take a while. Sorry.

Anyway! Other me/WIP-related stuff under the cut because this's a 'lil long :D

Media I like includes; Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (I'm planning to watch the 03 one at some point but haven't gotten around to it) Avatar; The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, the Reckoners series, Redwall, The Queen's Thief series, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl comics, the Agents of SHIELD tv show, and pretty much all of the older Barbie movies. (most specifically Princess and the Pauper) I'm also pretty involved in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, somehow, despite not having watched most of it.

Favorite characters of mine include; Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, Azula, Kuvira, Sokka, Zuko, Fitz, Adrien Agreste, Félix Graham De Vanily, Kagami Tsurugi, Varrick, Zhu Li, Eugenides/Gen, Basil Stag Hare, Gonff, Ling Yao, Preminger, and Azul.

I'm not much of a shipper, but I do have a soft spot for Royai, the Love Square and Feligami from Miraculous Ladybug, and whatever Zhu Li/Varrick is called.

Anyway, here's the plot as of yet of my main WIP in newspaper-headline style because I saw someone else do it and I liked the idea.

Local Thief Gets Arrested And Then Takes Advantage of Loophole; Winds Up Going On Treasure Hunt. (Chaos Ensues)

Here's a runup of the main characters;

Felix Rose- professional bullshitter/actor/ridiculously good at being charming. Very cocky, actually has enough skills to (occasionally) warrant it. Owns four cats. Does not want to go to jail, thank you. Noble who part-times as a thief, as one does.

Shannon Rose- professional Felix's Twin Brother. At first glance seems significantly less mischevious than Felix, but we must remind you that Felix is significantly more anything than anyone. Studying to be a scholar. Would also prefer it if Felix did not got to jail, would like to prevent that.

Valentin Fleet- professional Cinnamon Roll. Wants to do the Right Thing, unsure what that actually means. Is capital-C Conflicted. Somehow managed to go from the resident Tough Person to the resident Cinnamon Roll over the story's creation. The reason Felix is in jail, would prefer it if he stayed there, please.

I also have a website, (carolinaauthor.wordpress.com) where I'll be posting my WIP when it gets to production stage, and an Etsy store (it's called CoffeeCatDesigns, I'll find a link later sorry) where you can buy stuff from me. Oh, and I started writing fanfic recently! I'm The Rose Empress on ao3 if you're interested!

If you want to ask me questions about any of my WIPs or tag me in stuff I will be more than happy to answer :D

Mmmmmmmmkay that's it thank you for reading, I'm gonna go do that thing I was procrastinating from now.

-R

[perthshirecottage]

Been doing another rewatch of this amazing show. I have said before that I don't understand the way the FBI treats Jonathan.

While yes, Jonathan has been convicted of a crime, it was for INVOUNTARY manslaughter. It was something that happened, and that something was very serious and needs to be punished. But the average sentence for involuntary manslaughter is 10-16 MONTHS! This is because the jury understands that it was not premeditated. That it wasn’t even a crime of passion where someone could get so upset that they lose complete control of themselves and can become a danger to those around them. It was making a dumb choice, like drinking alcohol in this case, where another person loses their life. Honestly, by the time the show started, Jonathan should have already been out or close to it at this point. And yet Jonathan was convicted for 10 YEARS! This is not justice, this is retribution. The sentence doesn’t fit the crime. The most likely reason is because he ran, but still, that is an insane amount of time just for panicked running from the scene. I’m sure the prosecutor made Jonathan out to be a horrible person because he hid from the world for 30 years. That he was hiding because it gave him time to torture animals or something equally ridiculous. But Jonathan was not the only one hiding. Cameron, Dina, Gunter, and Jordan were all complicit in that. They just hadn’t broken any laws and therefore no one could punish them. No one wonders if they’re trustworthy because of the lying that they did. Cameron was a part of the secret for as long as Jonathan was.

Once Cameron started working with the FBI, so did Jonathan. Cam often went and asked for Jonathan’s help on making deceptions work. He helps to put away bad guys who are actual criminals who are purposefully going out and murdering multiple people and selling drugs and just doing truly awful things. The FBI even gave Jonathan special privileges to work in one of the visitor’s rooms to solve Bishop’s codes. And when Cameron went missing, the FBI gave a special allowance for Jonathan to get out and help. All of this clued the other prisoners into the fact that Jonathan worked for the Feds. It’s why they hung a rat in his cell and someone tried to shank him. And the guards don't even care. They're against him because he's a criminal. The criminals are against him because he's helping the Feds. He literally has no one on his side in a very dangerous situation. I have heard that there are special areas in prisons where they put high target prisoners, like ex-cops or criminal informants who are more likely to be targets because they fall a bit on both sides of the law. Yet Jonathan isn't given any kind of extra security. Gunter isn't wrong when he talks about how the entire team, including Jonathan, have done so much to help the FBI and yet they haven't gotten anything in return. During the short time he was out after Cam was kidnapped, they act like he is some master level criminal on par with MW. Like he is just waiting for any opportunity to escape so he can go on some kind of crime spree.

Even if Jonathan was guilty of the crime he was convicted, then it’s still not the worst kind of murder out there. I’m sure there could have been a plea for compassion and safety granted to allow Jonathan to be put on house arrest where no one would actively be trying to kill him for his help. And that for every actual criminal that he helps put away that he gets something like a month off his sentence. But no one ever offers him anything. He just keeps putting his life on the line and gets absolutely nothing in return. I’m sure this is why he snaps at the end of the season. Maybe there’s some underlying resentment against Cameron, but I have a feeling most of it came from the FBI doing nothing and Cameron being the face that always had to convince Jonathan to keep hanging in there. To not escape and go find the evidence for his innocence. Now the FBI has left Jonathan out to dry despite everything he has done and all the horrible things that have been done while in prison. Jonathan just took it out on the only person who represented the people who screwed him over, even though it wasn’t Cameron’s fault.

And something to add is that at the end of the season after MW gets arrested she reveals information regarding Danic, the foreign diplomat. The team comes up with a deception and manages to save Danic and his wife. MW just reveals that Danic was in trouble and then yes she does meet with the bad guy (can’t remember his name) while surrounded by armed FBI agents. She didn’t contribute THAT much. Jonathan did a bunch to help with this particular deception and was treated with a lot of trust, especially after how he was treated last time. (I’m sure because there’s someone even more untrustworthy there and that person is MW!) And yet she managed to make herself useful enough to get into Witness Protection and not even get charged with anything because she proved her usefulness exactly 1 time! While the team still doesn’t have the proof of Johnny’s innocence, Cameron is a witness to multiple counts of illegal activities that far outweigh Jonathan’s INVOLUNTARY manslaughter conviction. Cameron has been held at gunpoint by this woman multiple times. She attempted to steal a $7 million diamond. Cameron was abducted by her. He watched her purposefully kill a man. Any single one of these is far far worse than Jonathan’s entire conviction because she did them all on purpose. And yet she just gets to walk. They still don’t even know her name or what else she actually knows beyond this one tip and yet they just decided to drop all her charges and give her a cushy life for free.

While the team was doing the deception, MW was obviously setting things up for herself. And because she was a prisoner, she had to have an agent reach out to the DA. It could have even been Deakins who did it. Deakins was the one who had to explain to the team why MW was just leaving with absolutely no consequences. Because MW could help put people who were much worse away. Which is what Jonathan has been doing but no one ever offered him a get out of jail free card. Or offered him anything at ALL!

I understand that the Doylist answer is because it kept Cameron and Jonathan sperate so that they weren’t having to constantly have Jack do a split screen. And so that at the end of the season they could have Jonathan off with MW. Also, if Jonathan had been released or was about to be release, then there wouldn’t be this drive for Cameron and the FBI to put everything into finding MW. Of course they would want to clear Jonathan’s name, but if he was free or on house arrest then it wouldn’t be something that was so urgent. When Cameron was kidnapped, yes he would want to get the evidence to free Jonathan, but he wouldn’t feel so desperate to break the law if Jonathan was on house arrest and at least had a modicum of freedom and had already taken a year off his sentence by working with the FBI. But Jonathan still got the short end of the stick.

It would be interesting to think about how the show would differ if someone were to decide that Jonathan deserved something for al of his help.

[whumpupthejam]

“He’s Out There” - Character Intros + picrews

ALRIGHT. I was gonna wait until I’d posted more writing of these characters, especially because I haven’t even introduced most of them yet 🤪

But I’m really excited abt these and I’m taking too long on the next pieces, so you’ll just get to know them a little now!

If you have any questions about them, or wanna see snippets/drabbles featuring any of them, my asks are open and I would kiss you on the mouth <3 (open to non-canon compliant asks/requests).

I’ll start with the precious boy we all know and love and want to see destroyed:

Marcus~

Extras:

Full name: Marcus Pearce

Age: 22

Height: 5’10”

Mbti/enneagram: INFJ/4w5

Birthday: June 7

Actual favorite film (the picrew gave limited choices): Star Wars Ep. V

Primary Role: Whumpee

Fun fact: Marcus plays the violin and is first chair/soloist for his college’s symphony….or he was. :(

Also, he doesn’t really have a hand tat, I just thought it fit his aesthetic for the picrew, and he DOES have a half sleeve on his right forearm (easily covered by a tux when performing).

Caleb ~

Extras:

Full name: Caleb Levi

Age: 22

Height: 6’2”

Mbti/enneagram: ENTP/8w7

Birthday: April 25

Orientation: Bisexual/Aromantic

Actual favorite film: Best in Show

Fun fact: He is a criminal justice major with a minor in behavioral psychology. He’s basically super scary and super smart. Many find him intimidating, but once you get to know him a little bit, it’s easy to see he’s a big goofball teddy bear angel.

Caleb has been Marcus’s best friend since they were kids living in the same neighborhood. There’s nothing. Nothing Caleb wouldn’t do for Marcus.

Jake ~

Extras:

Full name: Jacob Settler

Age: 23

Height: 6’0”

Mbti/enneagram: ESFP/6w7

Birthday: March 2

Actual favorite film: He doesn’t watch many actual movies. He’s more of a TV show guy. Faves are Arrested Development and Downton Abbey (he used to hide this fact, but when he got to college he decided, what the hell! so he’s got refined tastes, sue him!). He also loves Napoleon Dynamite.

Primary role: Whumpee

Fun fact: He has two sisters, one older, one younger. Ever since his dad died tragically, he’s taken all the emotional responsibilities of father onto himself. His mom wishes he wouldn’t, but he feels guilt over his dad’s death. He tries to use humor to throw people off from the fact that he’s incredibly self critical and struggles with his mental health. He’s been feeling a little better since meeting Marcus and Caleb, but he’s in a pit he can’t seem to get out of. Really fun fact, right??

Elena ~

Extras:

Full name: Elena Sherwin

Age: 22

Height: 5’7”

Mbti/enneagram: ENFP/4w3

Birthday: October 19

Actual favorite film: Pan’s Labyrinth

Primary role: Caretaker

Fun fact: She has a beautiful singing voice. She hopes to be a film actress someday, but she’d also love to get to sing for the rest of her life.

The Man (+name reveal..?) ~

Extras:

Full name: Daniel Stane (alias?), (Other known aliases: Daniel Goran, John Landry, Elliot Golfinder, Barrett Cork).

Age: 51

Height: 6’1”

Mbti/enneagram: INFP/6w5

Birthday: February 5

Actual favorite film: *sigh.* It’s Pride and Prejudice (1995). Look I’m not happy about it either, but it’s true.

Primary role: Whumper

Fun fact: He has a cat. His name is Marcus—no I’m kidding, lol. The cat is very sweet. He doesn’t have a name.

p.s. while this picrew is ridiculously adorable, it portrays one body type. So just for the record! Marcus actually is a fairly skinny boy, Caleb and the Man are both reasonably buff, Jake is as well, but less so than they are, and Elena is mid-plus sized. <3

[simcardiac-arrested]

Mr. Cream Simcardiac-Arrested has recently made a number of fellow users very, very angry, including me. However, as anger serves no function in a successful rebuttal, I will simply state objectively that Miss Simcardiac-Arrested doesn’t perceive that anything is wrong with them. Consider this ask not as a monologue but rather as a joint effort between anon and mutual. Together we shall fight for what is right. Together we shall improve the living conditions of the most vulnerable in our society-the sick, the old, the disabled, the unemployed, and our youth—all of whose lives are made miserable by Mx. Cream Simcardiac-Arrested. And together we shall show principle, gumption, verve, and nerve. If you want a better opportunity to get a job, raise a family in a safe neighborhood, have a better chance at a good education, and lower the taxes on the money you earn, then I ask that you help me justify condemnation, constructive criticism, and ridicule of Mrs. Simcardiac-Arrested and its louche canards. Doing so will at least prove that he will do anything to prevent us from critiquing her doctrinaire magic-bullet explanations. Don’t magic-bullet explanations that aim to till the flagitious side of the nonrepresentationalism garden deserve—and in some sense, require—abundant critique and evaluation? That’s why I propose that we strike in self-defense a blow that will free this hellsite from the deleterious effects of Ms. Simcardiac-Arrested’s larcenous, querulous adages, mainly because we have a problem, and we need to solve it. I mean really solve it—not put a Band-Aid on it, not empty it in the Garbage Wastes, not look the other way. I propose we start by building a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow as that will get people thinking about how far too many people look the other way when they see Mr. Simcardiac-Arrested impinging upon our dash. We need to be better than that. We can be better than that. And we can start by using evidence-based arguments when discussing issues with Mrs. Simcardiac-Arrested. Mr. Simcardiac-Arrested is able to argue only from emotionalism. They doesn’t argue from a logical, linear point of view. Hence, by taking on Mr. Simcardiac-Arrested at her false premises one can easily demonstrate that we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that his fraternity of otiose, cankered gadflies is a colony of heaven called to obey God by taking away our sense of community and leaving us morally adrift. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that I correctly predicted that Miss Simcardiac-Arrested would shake belief in all existing institutions through the systematic perversion of both contemporary and historical facts. Alas, I didn’t think they’d do that so effectively—or so soon. All of this once again proves the old saying that there is no reason to fund a vast web of snitty, gruesome sectarians, temeritous, voluble vocabularians, and the most quixotic weirdos you’ll ever see and there is every reason not to. SENT.

thank you for this randomly generated anon complaint i will be putting it on my wall