#books have always saved my life

[notalostcausejustyet]

I’ve already attached this to a re-blog, but it feels like something that I want to post as a standalone as well. Sometimes I scream into the tumblr void about shit. Thanks to a gifted copy of The Body Keeps the Score I’m doing more DIY therapy work and processing some of my thoughts through the interwebs. So here’s a brain thing.

🎶Let’s talk about projection baby, let’s talk about you and me!!🎶 All joking aside, so many of us who deal with CPTSD use fictional works to process our trauma. We are outsourcing emotions and memories that we, for whatever reason, struggle to deal with unless there is some remove from the immediacy of them. We seek to find ourselves in characters, parallels in stories and situations for our own experiences. We live their struggles and triumphs as our own and so find catharsis within them. Aziraphale as a character is a particularly good example of this. He’s doing the thing so many of us who are trying to convince everyone else and ourselves that “we’re FINE, thank you!” do. He isn’t really processing his shit. He’s putting it on a third party to release some pressure before he completely loses it. And in so doing, us the audience, have gained a character that we both empathize and sympathize with, and in turn, use to work through much of our own trauma. I honestly think that’s why so many of us are waiting for S3 with bated breath. We need Az to figure it out. We need them both to heal. To defeat the odds. To find happiness. We’re all waiting for that because we need to believe that it’s something we can have too. If this Angel who foists 6 millennia of grief and rage and maddening questions about the “why” of everything off into an entire bookshop’s worth of stories and characters, if he can figure it out…surely we can too. Surely there is hope for us buried somewhere in the stacks. Surely there is some understanding that can be found, some catharsis or healing within the lines of these narratives. So we’re all holding our breath, our hope and our hearts, in our hands, waiting to finish the story, and in so doing, complete some part of ourselves. Finally framing those cracks where the light comes in, into something beautiful.

[notalostcausejustyet]

I was asked today how I got to be the way I am. And I said “life. But really, books. Books told me who I wanted to be. And since I have no dragons to slay, I choose to be kind”

On Love and Community

@princes-heels // ? // @inkskinned // mitski, my love mine all mine//@littlespoonsokka // @boymiffy // @2aminhouston // ? // @theviralwitch // @noodle // @criterioncollectiongirl // @fatsoupy // ? // @mjalti // george saunders, congratulations, by the way// @jb-blunk // @ponchopeligroso // @headspace-hotel // everything, everywhere, all at once(2022) //@cheruib // ? // ? // @tordenvejr

[suntails]

love will truly live

[niyaniyanixa]

so many people try to portray ford as being this lone wolf archetype who doesn't need or want companionship (and he himself tried to convince himself of this as well) but he very much so craves human connection and we see evidence of this throughout the series.

he describes himself as being "overcome with emotion" when fiddleford comes to stay with him & help with the portal and drops everything to make him feel at home, constantly sings his praises in his journal, and mentions numerous times how glad he is to have a friend with him. when they make up and reunite, he's visibly relieved & happy to have him in his life again.

once he comes out of the portal, despite his clear displeasure at the portal having been reopened (and having been pushed through it in the first place) he's immediately distracted and overjoyed with the fact that he's a great uncle, is immediately taken with mabel and grows to see himself in & confide in dipper.

even before him and stan reconciled, ford still clearly cared about him, reminiscing on their shared memories fondly in his journal, wondering if he's "been too harsh all along", keeping home movies of them as children for years and carrying a photo of the two of them in his jacket seemingly through the portal; even when he felt like stan had betrayed him, he couldn't bring himself to ENTIRELY hate him. then after weirdmageddon, he clearly admires stan and refers to him as a hero and the most selfless man he knows, and his happy ending is literally spending every day sailing with him.

[jesse-pinko]

Me when a character is relentlessly looked down on and ridiculed and dismissed by everyone around them including the people they love so they start to believe in and actively play into people’s negative perceptions of them but at the end of the day they still make the choice to be better and do better bc they always had the capacity for good and so much love to give they just had nowhere to put it

[twinstxrs]

there’s probably something deeply wrong with me because every time i see someone react to the pok gukgak interrogation scene it’s like “oh no oh my god is riz’s dad a bad guy?” when the first time i saw that scene my only thought was “oh my god is riz’s dad HOT??”

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !

Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...

As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:

[frobby]

i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.

[seilon]

love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me

[atopvisenyashill]

do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in

[maryasmorevna]

now that i've finished my fist original novel (plus the additional material like the epilogue and the male co-protagonist's letter to the main character, which is a dive into his - very troubled - psyche* and a sign of his atonement...), it'll be difficult to leave it all behind ngl. i grew so fond of the characters, the themes i tried (and probably failed) to explore... i'm going to miss them. thankfully i have other projects to focus on, but still - it'll be hard to turn the page once and for all.

[memorydragon]

I am on my gay coproganda bs again and am so Normal about it.

Devotion as a love language, Yan Xie you're killing me.

[trashbaget]

tagged by my beloved april @heartbeatdiaz <33

bold (or otherwise mark in your preferred fruity way) all that apply:

APPEARANCE: i'm over 5'5" // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don't often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS: i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks (if i can afford it) // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP: i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child / i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS: i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS: i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

tagging with ALL of the pressure (totally very really absolutely jk i love yall <3): @enbyeddiediaz almost wrote pinkpurse?? babe. it hasn’t been that for a while why’d i think that lmao @firemedicdiaz @barbiediaz @evcndiaz @prince-buck-diaz @alyxmastershipper @911onabc ehh that’s enough for now <3

[tenok]

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[lovestudies]

gonna vent in the tags a little bit

[homunculus-argument]

I love the kind of books that are written from the perspective of a completely ordinary animal, telling a story of their ordinary life, painstakingly researched to be as close to nature as possible, save for being written out in a language that humans understand. The challenge is always in how much the author tries to anthrophormise the animals, I especially hate when they're given humanlike ideas of love and romance. I'm more down for them having their own bizarre religion than them having stable, monogamous romantic relationships if the subject animal does not actually do that in nature. Like rather give me a story about a completely regular deer buck who observes the beginning of rut like

It's starting to be that time of the year when I become stupid. I hope I won't get killed or injured this year from doing anything idiotic. Hey who the fuck is that guy, get the fuck off my turf.