#books have always saved my life

[notalostcausejustyet]

I’ve already attached this to a re-blog, but it feels like something that I want to post as a standalone as well. Sometimes I scream into the tumblr void about shit. Thanks to a gifted copy of The Body Keeps the Score I’m doing more DIY therapy work and processing some of my thoughts through the interwebs. So here’s a brain thing.

🎶Let’s talk about projection baby, let’s talk about you and me!!🎶 All joking aside, so many of us who deal with CPTSD use fictional works to process our trauma. We are outsourcing emotions and memories that we, for whatever reason, struggle to deal with unless there is some remove from the immediacy of them. We seek to find ourselves in characters, parallels in stories and situations for our own experiences. We live their struggles and triumphs as our own and so find catharsis within them. Aziraphale as a character is a particularly good example of this. He’s doing the thing so many of us who are trying to convince everyone else and ourselves that “we’re FINE, thank you!” do. He isn’t really processing his shit. He’s putting it on a third party to release some pressure before he completely loses it. And in so doing, us the audience, have gained a character that we both empathize and sympathize with, and in turn, use to work through much of our own trauma. I honestly think that’s why so many of us are waiting for S3 with bated breath. We need Az to figure it out. We need them both to heal. To defeat the odds. To find happiness. We’re all waiting for that because we need to believe that it’s something we can have too. If this Angel who foists 6 millennia of grief and rage and maddening questions about the “why” of everything off into an entire bookshop’s worth of stories and characters, if he can figure it out…surely we can too. Surely there is hope for us buried somewhere in the stacks. Surely there is some understanding that can be found, some catharsis or healing within the lines of these narratives. So we’re all holding our breath, our hope and our hearts, in our hands, waiting to finish the story, and in so doing, complete some part of ourselves. Finally framing those cracks where the light comes in, into something beautiful.

[notalostcausejustyet]

I was asked today how I got to be the way I am. And I said “life. But really, books. Books told me who I wanted to be. And since I have no dragons to slay, I choose to be kind”

On Love and Community

@princes-heels // ? // @inkskinned // mitski, my love mine all mine//@littlespoonsokka // @boymiffy // @2aminhouston // ? // @theviralwitch // @noodle // @criterioncollectiongirl // @fatsoupy // ? // @mjalti // george saunders, congratulations, by the way// @jb-blunk // @ponchopeligroso // @headspace-hotel // everything, everywhere, all at once(2022) //@cheruib // ? // ? // @tordenvejr

[jesse-pinko]

Me when a character is relentlessly looked down on and ridiculed and dismissed by everyone around them including the people they love so they start to believe in and actively play into people’s negative perceptions of them but at the end of the day they still make the choice to be better and do better bc they always had the capacity for good and so much love to give they just had nowhere to put it

[twinstxrs]

there’s probably something deeply wrong with me because every time i see someone react to the pok gukgak interrogation scene it’s like “oh no oh my god is riz’s dad a bad guy?” when the first time i saw that scene my only thought was “oh my god is riz’s dad HOT??”

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !

Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...

As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:

[fatehbaz]

.

[seilon]

love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me

[atopvisenyashill]

do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in

[harrowscore]

now that i've finished my fist original novel (plus the additional material like the epilogue and the male co-protagonist's letter to the main character, which is a dive into his - very troubled - psyche* and a sign of his atonement...), it'll be difficult to leave it all behind ngl. i grew so fond of the characters, the themes i tried (and probably failed) to explore... i'm going to miss them. thankfully i have other projects to focus on, but still - it'll be hard to turn the page once and for all.

[landgraabbed]

sometimes you gotta take in the lil details

[carcarrot]

i guess im being offered the job lol

[saintknightley]

i feel like i abandoned comics but i just have a tumultuous on and off again relationship with marvel and we are currently going through a divorce

[ablednt]

I like how the death of literacy is because tumblr users watch kids cartoons and not that we live in a capitalist hellscape where you don't own what you have and curating your internet space to include anything of substance is increasingly inaccessible

[crimeronan]

i seem to finally be coming off a flare that's lasted....... fuck knows how long. most of the month at least. i woke up today only wheezing a little and not having a headache even before taking my meds. took a heavy-duty anti-inflammatory just now to kill the remaining symptoms, i'm gonna do some dishes and then go pick up yet Another prescription for More heavy-duty anti-inflammatory drugs, bc that's my life now. send prayers or good vibes into the universe that i have more than a day or two of freedom from The Hellfires. i need this So Fucking Bad.

[frobby]

i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.

[leatherbookmark]

an interesting thing abt jgy antis is like. where is the source of their, shall we say, negative opinion of jgy? like, 1. jgy is a villain, he does horrible things with no remorse, he’s willing to do everything to achieve his selfish, egotistical goals. --> 2. the source of this claim: this, this and this scene. --> 3. alright, but to me -- says someone who’s not an anti -- this reads differently. that he did all those things, and did them on purpose and without remorse, is not that obvious to me. why do you think that? --> 4. well, obviously because he’s a villain and does horrible things with no remorse.

like... he’s evil because he does bad things, and he does bad things because he’s evil. i’m interested in how antis came by those opinions, but a, unfortunately i have them all blocked, and b, even if i or someone else made a poll, it wouldn’t be authentic because no sane anti is going to say “well, people hated him and wrote all those things about him on twt, so i started hating him as well”, or “i only care about wgxn, you could sell me anything about other characters if your arguments were convincing enough because i zoned out during the parts when wgxn weren’t on screen/pages of the book”. it’s all “written in the book/shown in the show” and “logical arguments you’d agree with if only you could read”.