#books are entertainment and at the end of the day the most important thing is 'is it fun and enjoyable'

[roselinbooks-archive]

Wild for this to come from me of all people considering the levels of world building I have gone into for some of my projects but, like, if you're writing a fantasy story...the point, to some extent, is that it isn't realistic and we don't have to worry about things being 100% Realistic And Accurate.

Don't want to think about economic systems in your high fantasy story? Don't.

Don't have a scientific explanation for how dragons can fly and breathe fire? There's all kinds of natural phenomena we can't explain in the real world, go nuts with it.

Referred to a king or queen as "Highness" instead of "Majesty"? Literally does not matter.

Again. Wild for this to come from me. But the older I get the more I look at fun little fantasy stories and think, "Am I having a good time? Then it's good enough." Obviously if you want to make everything as realistic and accurate as possible because that is enjoyable to you then by all means!! But if you just want a self-indulgent little story then also, by all means!!!!

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Astrology Observation: 🥪🧋🧘‍♀️🛵🏡💻🕯️🛀🏾 Your Daily Routine ( Healthy & Unhealthy) Based On Your Rising Sign 🥪🧋🧘‍♀️🛵🏡💻🕯️🛀🏾

Disclaimer: I hope this post resonates and you enjoy. As always, if it doesn’t apply, let it fly. Thank you all for your support 🫶🏾

❤️‍🔥Aries Rising:

Healthy

* You care a lot about your hygiene and have a routine that ensures your skin, hair, nails, and body look and smell great. You are particular about what you put on your body and what you do because you feel confident when your routine helps you improve your looks.

* You pay attention to what you put in your body, drink a lot of water, eat your fruits and vegetables. You make sure to balance your meals.

* You are very routine, but find a way to balance work, school, with exercise, self-improvement, and relax time. To you there is nothing more important than maximizing your routine.

* You are constantly improving at a skill ( work, school, or a personal skill).

* You research new and fascinating topics in your free time. This makes you incredibly insightful and smart, always adding to conversations in meaningful ways.

* You love to be organized and you’re constantly finding a way to be smarter.

* You help those that need your help. To you being of service to people makes you feel fulfilled.

Unhealthy

* You don’t have a hygiene routine, you let your hygiene slip until you see it getting bad. Your skin breakouts, your hair is greasy, your nails aren’t taken care of, and you have an odor.

* You eat purely because of pleasure or to survive. You don’t drink enough water or drink more juice, soda, and alcohol. You can overeat or barely eat on most days.

* You are fixated in a routine even if it doesn’t serve you. You may overwork ( work long hours) or ( spend a lot of time on school work). You may put off parts of your routine that help you ( exercise) or time for self improvement.

* You are disorganized, misplacing items and losing things easily, you would rather act smarter, than actually focus on gaining the knowledge.

* You only help others when it’s something in it for you. You’re self-serving to your own interests.

🦜Taurus Rising:

Healthy

* You care a lot about your presentation. But you like to keep it simple and blend-in, not stand-out. You keep your hygiene routine simple, you may follow trendy fashion or use products that you’ve seen recommended online. You get inspiration looking at Pinterest or IG for your looks.

* You like to eat a well-balanced meal, but you’re either at that new aesthetic restaurant or ordering on DoorDash. If you cook at home you’re looking up Tik Tok recipes or using a recipe app you found.

* Your routine is focused on balancing your social life with work and routine. You’ll hang out with a friend quickly. You’ll spend a portion of your day having good conversations, laughing, and catching up. You’ll go around town doing fun things and keep yourself entertained.

* You enjoy learning new things and feel refreshed by hearing different perspectives. You can listen to podcast, read books, or spend time on YouTube.

* You enjoy fashion, home decor, looking at places you can travel, and finding new things to buy.

* You like to keep your day light-hearted and you enjoy being in aesthetic places. You might feel inclined to date or to hang with your partner.

Unhealthy

* You can feel very insecure and feel that you can’t dress yourself without an inspiration or copying someone else. You may spend an excessive amount of money trying to impress people with your style. You may feel you always have to dress to impress even when it’s not comfortable.

* You’re conscious about your image so you either restrict your eat, or skip meals. You can end up only eating socially, like eating out once a day or ordering food only for dinner. With the influence of Venus you could eat just to eat and be a glutton or binge eater.

* Your routine is all over the place. You’re too focused on pleasing other people or doing favors for other people, you don’t have time for yourself. You can be too focused on relationship where you’re always with your partner with no space or you constantly need the validation of a friend.

* You can get into a lot of debates and tense conversations due to talking about your perspectives with others especially when there are differences.

* Your focus on leisure and fun to escape your responsibilities can lead to procrastination and putting yourself in unnecessary binds.

* You can be superficial. You might go out just to post an IG picture or to flaunt. You might date just to avoid feeling lonely.

🧠Gemini Rising:

Healthy

* You need space to yourself. You wake-up and provide yourself a private self-care routine. You have a set routine that you do that makes you feel confident and poised.

* You focus on the health routine that helps your ultimate goal. If you’re into gaining weight and building muscle you stick to a diet that allows you gain weight in a healthy way. If you’re into losing weight you and being lean you stick a diet that allows you to lose weight. If you’re trying to maintain your weight you make sure to eat a balanced diet.

* Your routine is very driven, you feel motivated and focused, your priorities, responsibilities, and work will be your main focus and you are working towards an overarching goal to succeed in these areas.

* You have tenacity and always are accomplishing things.

* You love to know the deeper aspects of life. You are on Google a lot. You are trying to figure out how things works.

* You are passionate and want to spend time with your partner, friends, and associates doing things that excite you.

Unhealthy

* You wake-up preoccupied with too much, you don’t have time to yourself. You don’t carve space out to yourself and you wake-up feeling negative. You may end up oversleeping or waking up in a rush because you don’t want to get up.

* You either forget to eat and have periods where you don’t eat enough and you are surviving off of a little food or you on the other extreme or overeating.

* You can be overly concerned with your image and succeeding, so you can be manipulative and do things underhandedly. You can try to get ahead and be selfish in how you move in your routine.

* You may go after your goals, get them, and feel unfulfilled. You don’t enjoy your accomplishments and don’t feel proud.

* You are suspicious and have trust issues. You may be only interested in learning things if it serves you to feel better.

* You are possessive and manipulative. You try to control your friends, partners, and associates and do dangerous things.

🌊Cancer Rising:

Healthy

* You enjoy trying new things in your routine. You like to try new hair products, make-up products, skin care products, etc.

* You enjoy a diverse pallet, you find that you enjoy trying new restaurants and cuisines, you may find cooking exciting, you try different diets to help improve your heath.

* You are flexible in your routine, you like exciting activities, having fun, venturing out, trying new spots. You like your work, school, and responsibilities to be flexible and give you time to explore and do other things.

* You seek to understand life more. You may enjoy reading or understanding the different ways of life. You may be particularly interested in learning, but you may find that self-guided learning is better for you.

* You have a positive mindset and usually like to give yourself and other people pep-talks. You talk to your friends and give them helpful advice and allow them to see a different perspective or bigger picture.

* You have a big personality so could spend time on social media, on the phone talking, you can also like shopping or going out to eat.

* You want to have fun in your days so doing anything to have fun makes your day.

Unhealthy

* You can buy a bunch of products for hygiene that you never use. You may find that you spend so much money on hygiene products, always finding something that interests you and not putting use to them.

* You overeat, always want to go out to eat, love sweets and keeps eating even after full.

* You can feel confined by routine and may feel the need to always do something different, you hate boredom so your routine may at times lead to doing things to escape boredom and monotony.

* You can get very down and lose a lot of hope. This can lead to an excessive amount of negativity and complaining. You may get blunt and reckless in how you speak,saying hurtful comments in these moments.

* You can talk too much about others and be overly opinionated of their lives and decisions which can cause you to gossip. You can spend money excessively and always eat out.

* You can be irresponsible and focused on your own pursuit of fulfillment causing recklessness.

✨Leo Rising:

Healthy

* You like to present yourself as a powerful person. You wear clothing that commands your presence. You keep up on your hygiene so that you come off clean. You have a set routine with your hygiene that you don’t change much.

* You can be a picky eater, mainly because you like to truly enjoy the comfort and pleasure of eating, yet you have your restrictions. You like to be disciplined in your diet to maintain your health and body.

* You are routine and your focus is usually on work, school, and your responsibilities. You can be into hard work or work that makes you feel accomplished. You enjoy taking on tasks and pursuing your goals.

* You can be very focused on success or being the best at what you do, though you may not outwardly show it, you are constantly strive to prove yourself in your daily routine.

* You can be focused on maintaining your image, you may hang out with friends, but you’re selective who you give your time to, you like to be around people who are respected, powerful, good-getters, or successful. You feel empowered by their drive and you often are forging connections for better opportunities.

* You are family oriented so you check on your family, hang-out with them, you can be around your close friends a lot.

Unhealthy

* You feel weak and disempowered, to compensate you overly focus on your physical image, often times commanding presence through showy ways. You can be more engaged with your image than an actual grounded hygiene routine.

* You can be a restrictive in eating often starving yourself or not properly nourishing your vessel. You can be more focused on looking a certain way than your actual health. You can also be prone to overeating especially in privacy, you might eat a lot.

* You work too much for sake of proving your worth. You take life too serious and don’t engage in fun activities. If you do have time outside of seriousness you can be prone to addiction or doing things to cope with your heavy feelings.

* You can step over other people to get what you want. You can be selfish and cold at times trying to attain the things you want or based off of self-pursuit.

* You can be superficial and more focused on hanging around people that gives you a sense of validation or worth. You can be socially pretentious and superficial. You can also be mean and judgmental.

* You can have a lot of power struggles in your family and you can also be very private and closed off from family and only go around them when you need something.

🛀🏾Virgo Rising:

Healthy

* You have an eccentric or popularized approach to hygiene, could either be into natural (holistic) hygienic products or you could use popular hygiene products from major known companies. You can be routine with your hygiene but have moments where you switch up your routine to explore new options.

* You have comfort foods that you eat routinely, but you can enjoy foods that others don’t. And you’re more likely to try different foods, you may even try an alternative diet to explore eating differently ( eating different cuisines, vegan or vegetarian, fruitarian, eating health and superfoods).

* You can be very routine and focused on long-term goals and practical aspects of your day, but you also have this side of you who wants to be free and live unconventionally. Could have a different sleep schedule, pursue unconventional hobbies, or hang-out and do things with weird, odd people or groups.

* You’re very into varied topics, you can also be always on your phone on social media. You could be interested in pursuing a certain alternative lifestyle or in unconventional ways of life. You may have bursts of time where you work, go to school, and handle your responsibilities and then periods where you’re not working as much and exploring other options for fulfillment.

* You can be very focused on bigger ideals so you spend a good portion of your day in your head, coming up with future plans, and planning upcoming things you want to do. You could also be apart of a class, group, organization, or community.

* You can be very friendly and enjoy talking to all different kinds of people especially discussing your lifestyle, identity, and your ideals.

* You can be a bit eccentric and do things spontaneously at times, especially when craving a change.

* Your routine changes a lot and you like to hang around your friends a lot. Together you have come up with progressive idea and learn new things.

Unhealthy

* You could have odd ways to your hygiene. Sometimes you can omit certain things from your hygiene stubbornly even when it helps. You can sometimes have a very erratic routine, missing showers, not properly taking care of your teeth or neglecting skin care.

* You can have an eating disorder or have a strange way to eating. Eating at 3 in the morning or not eating for long periods then eating a lot. You may have a very weird diet.

* You can neglect work and important aspects to focus on bigger ideals. Potentially staying on your phone during work or breaking the rules at work ( taking longer breaks, taking shortcuts) you can sometimes act in rebellious ways and go against the norm. You may get into it with people you live.

* You can find it hard to blend in your environments which makes you at times problematic at work, school, or at home. You can sometimes get into altercations randomly and surprisingly.

* You may get absorbed in the wrong group of friends and do unlawful, bad, or inappropriate things. May struggle to separate yourself from groups and to spend time alone, so you’re constantly seeking excitement socially and do not give enough attention to important matters.

* Your daily routines can clash with your family, partner, or living situation. You may do things that make others angry or feel unsettled.

💄Libra Rising:

Healthy

* You can have a very magical hygiene routine. You can be sensitive and have to use special or gentle products. You could like to make your hygiene experience magical, enchanting, and relaxing.

* You like to eat by yourself or with a loved one. You enjoy the aesthetic of food, you love to eat meals appealing to your senses, that smell delicious, look delicious, and creative foods. You might enjoy dining out at nice, relaxing restaurants that are aesthetic.

* You prefer a more free-flowing routine that allows you room for rest and time to get be creative and explore hobbies. You may need a nap after work or school and time to decompress to yourself. Spending the evening with friends and loved ones. You may not want to be preoccupied with school and work outside of it unless needed.

* Your imagination is vivid so your routine always has to have a touch of fantasy or enjoyment. A spiritual routine, a routine related to your hobby, a routine related to relaxing. You might even have time to yourself to reflect on your day through journaling.

* You have a lot of esoteric and creative interests. You may spend time looking up things to do, places to go, hobbies to learn, looking for your soulmate, or finding ways to connect more to yourself.

* You can be very giving to those in your life and your routine involves being supportive of your friends, partner, and family.

Unhealthy

* You can feel overwhelmed quickly and may not give adequate time to a hygiene routine. You may neglect self-care leading to unhygienic practices or a lack of care for your physical image.

* You can be prone to emotional eating especially when feeling down and overwhelmed you may indulge in sweet food or food that is delicious. You can find yourself ordering food from the comfort of your home, feeling unmotivated to cook.

* You procrastinate on work, school, and responsibilities which can make you fall behind at work, school and on meeting your responsibilities. To decompress from the stress you can become overly dependent on other people, substances, or neglecting responsibilities for more enjoyable activities.

* You can avoid any reflection or self-care routine and go to what gives you instant gratification or pleasure. You can also isolate and detach from people when overwhelmed.

* You become obsessed with your relationships and a need for love. You can sacrifice a lot of who you are, merely to please those around you and keep the peace. Can find yourself over invested in your relationships.

* You can be very escapist with life’s issues and choose to drink, use substances, isolate, dig your heels deeply into your interests and creative pursuits, and sleep.

🌚Scorpio Rising:

Healthy

* You feel energized towards your hygiene routine. You stick to a simple routine that you can do in a timely manner. You focus on the important things and enjoy wearing comfortable clothing that boosts your confidence.

* You like to eat food that energizes you, you go for lighter meals when you want to get up and go. You stay hydrated and after you eat your meals prefer to move around, do activity, or clean.

* You aren’t one for routines as much as doing what you have to do and enjoying the free time in your schedule to do something fun. You enjoy exploring your passions, going out, and accomplishing tasks. You feel very driven towards these things and like to act.

* Getting things done is important, as much as having time to do whatever you would like. The quicker you handle your responsibilities, the more time you feel free. You value your time.

* You like to do things your good at, so you may focus on improving a skill or building your confidence. You can also enjoy getting inspiration online through Pinterest, Tik Tok, Tumblr, or IG.

* You can enjoy personal time in your day to be in your own energy away from others. In those time you may think about your goals, priorities, and current focuses.

* You can be the one to initiate plans to hang-out with others , friends, partners, family. You may also be interested in dating and getting to know people.

Unhealthy

* You can lack vigor and feel unmotivated when it comes to your hygiene routine. You rush through self-care time, skipping steps that can improve your confidence and help you to feel better in your skin. You aim to leave out and do other things than self-care.

* You eat food fast, not savoring the moment. It’s just another part of your day. You can eat food that makes you feel lethargic, depleting your energy. You may find that after eating you don’t want to do anything and feel lazy.

* You want free time even when there are responsibilities and priorities so you procrastinate, hoping to execute the tasks last minute ( because you can do it fast).

* You may waste a lot of your time doing things for your own pleasure or desires, ignoring others and their needs and desires around you.

* You get stuck at the inspiration stage, scrolling through social media but too scattered brain to follow through on tasks.

* Your desire for alone time might lead to neglecting relationships or plans so that you can focus more on what you want. It can lead to conflict with people who want more time from you.

* You may aggressively push your desires onto other people. You can use other people to do things you may not want to do alone.

😜Sagittarius Rising

Healthy

* Your hygiene routine is focused on products that make you feel beautiful, smell good, and are pleasing to your senses. You take your time with your hygiene routine, longer showers, sitting doing your makeup. You like to pamper yourself like you’re at an at home spa.

* You enjoy cooking food at home. You love to prepare meals or to follow recipe/cook books. You get satisfaction from a balanced home cooked meal. Occasionally, you treat yourself to good tasting food from delivery or at a restaurant.

* You like to have a steady routine, can be into slow living or just very particular when it comes to your routine because you want to make the most of your day. Can incorporate creativity, beauty, and love in your everyday routines.

* You can focus on work, but you do enjoy leisure time. For you it’s a balance of achieving career, school, and responsibilities, with enjoying the benefits, rewards, and pleasure of life.

* You have a slow way of savoring the day, enjoying each moment, practicing mindfulness. You can feel connected to Mother Nature and earth by going outside for a simple nature walk or being surrounded by the elements comforts you.

* You enjoy those close to you. Your circle of people is the ones you trust and who have earned their spot through the test of time. You communicate and make plans to see your friends, partner, family, or even go on dates in moderation.

Unhealthy

* You procrastinate with your hygiene routine and may find yourself skipping important steps or too lazy to do things. Sometimes skipping showers, not staying on top of your dental hygiene. You can be too lazy and unmotivated to bother with self-care.

* You overindulge in foods to comfort yourself. You lean too much on sweet, savory, and home cooked meals. You can at times get lazy with cooking and putting thought in your meal and go for convenience or eat out a lot.

* You can lean towards procrastination and too focused on relaxing and feeling comfortable. It can make it so you do things last minute in an effort to focus on the things you love or enjoy.

* You can switch between being fixated on school, work, responsibilities and then switch to focusing a lot on your creative hobbies, chill time, and pleasure. You may lose balance of effectively doing both.

* You can become very routine and fixated in whatever you’re doing which leaves little room for grounding yourself in nature. Your lack of nature, fresh air, and plants makes you feel ungrounded and easily frustrated.

* You keep people in your life for the superficial image and do not have a strong, healthy connection. You can keep your anger in until you explode or have very tense moments with your friends, family, and partner. You may become overly focused on dating and pleasure as a way to feel a void.

📚Capricorn Rising:

Healthy

* You have a unique and refreshing hygiene routine. You can be into understanding the product and finding products that align with what you personally enjoy hygienically.

* You have a lot of flexibility in your diet, but you’re often doing something to give yourself a break; fasting, no carbs, fruit cleanse, no sugar, or just eating more whole foods.

* You allow yourself to shift your routine especially because you find you need space to socialize and plunge into your interests. You can be bothered with a fixed routine, you need room for exploration.

* You find that everyday is a mental adventure. You oftentimes have a lot of interests,hobbies, or fascinations.

* You love to talk whether on the phone, through text, at work, or in class. Engaging in conversations, debates, talks, or dialogue is integral to your routine.

* Your schedule changes a lot as you find more opportunities within work, school, or your responsibilities.

Unhealthy

* You are always in a rush and on the go. You may find that you could careless about a hygiene routine or give it very little time and energy.

* You stick to quick and easy meals, sometimes losing focus to eat truly nourishing meal. Could survive off of snacks or one meal a day. Losing weight unintentionally.

* You can have a very hard time focusing and being productive. It’s like your attention is everywhere and no where at the same time. Sometimes simple tasks take way longer than if you just could focus.

* You can find that your desire and need for stimulation turns you into a dopamine addict or someone who does a lot of different things for the thrill of it. A lot of unfinished projects, ideas, and responsibilities.

* You can be detached and have times where you’re social and outgoing and then off to yourself and easily irritable.

* Your life becomes quickly unstable and you may find that you holding onto things proves difficult ( missed opportunities, losing a job, falling behind in school, running into financial struggles).

🤔Aquarius Rising:

Healthy

* Your hygiene routine is centered around how you feel, you choose what is your most important needs and desires based on your attitude for the day. If you feel a bit upset, you make sure to go slow and do something to make you smile.

* You eat food that reminds you of home, comforting foods, traditional foods, foods that make you feel warm, cozy, and filled. You stay hydrated and present when eating.

* You have a routine that includes time to yourself away from the world. Those are the moments you watch your favorite movie, show, journal, read a book, or do something to relax and feel cozy.

* You care a lot about your work, school, responsibilities and want to be invested in it. Work to you is another home and you make friends with your co-workers. You like to feel that work is meaningful, so you always have work goals or are striving for better.

* You like to hang-out with friends, loved ones, a partner, or someone you considered close and special to you. Involving someone that you care about is essential to your well-being and allows you to feel loved and supported.

* Your day is a cozy vibe where you want to feel that you’re connected to what you do. You enjoy the simple aspects of life and enjoy romanticizing your day.

Unhealthy

* In an effort to show up for work, school, or your responsibilities and being tired from your giving nature. You do not put effort into your hygiene routine which leads to a lazy look or feeling less confident.

* You may lean towards emotional eating, barely eating under stress, fatigue, or depression or overeating under these states.

* You are plagued with duties, responsibilities, work, and school and you have no time for yourself. You end up falling asleep in an attempt to take some time for yourself.

* Work, school, and your responsibilities become overwhelming for you. They create an imbalance in your life and you may feel taken advantage of, used, or burnout fairly easy.

* You isolate to yourself a lot in your own world. You crave connection but you may feel uneasy or distrustful. You may feel more protected off on your own.

* Your day feels heavy and you feel detached from all that you do. Your routine makes you feel depressed and it creates an unmotivated and moody personality.

🎨Pisces Rising:

Healthy

* You enjoy a routine that is creative. A lot of color or products in your hygiene routine that resonated with you by advertising, color, or the ability to improve your confidence. Your confidence is exuded in how much you invest in your hygiene routine.

* You’re someone who likes to make sure your body looks beautiful. You like to balance fun and pleasure, with health. You’re taking your supplements and staying hydrated.

* You like to enjoy your day especially when it comes to having fun, you’re always carving out time for your social life but also to do things that make you happy.

* You are someone who romanticizes life and you take true pride in those that are close to you. Loyalty means a lot to you and you invest in those that are loyal to you.

* You enjoy the finer things in life, shopping, eating out, meeting with friends, going out to places that offer entertainment.

* You take part in going towards your goals of what success is. You feel the need to continue on a path that you see working for yourself or turning into something that can make you feel excited, seen, and respected.

Unhealthy

* Your lack of confidence leads to you dulling down your hygiene routine. You feel like your creativity is diminished and do what you think others expect of you. Limiting the possibility of feeling good because you’re trying to maintain a certain image.

* Food is a source of pleasure for you, so you eat out of boredom or for fun. If not eating to eat ( not properly balancing your diet), you are starving yourself to maintain a physique.

* You’re all play and can find it hard to deal with work, school, or responsibilities. This makes you come off as irresponsible or only focused on fun and enjoyment. This can also lead to procrastination.

* You feel either inferior or superior to those around you, so the relationships in your life can be strained or stagnant causing you to utilize them only out of convenience.

* You overspend on the non-practical items of life always looking to be entertained. You keep going broke and feeling miserable.

* You can be very focused on success in societal standards leaving you feeling empty chasing dreams and goals that don’t align with your true purpose.

[stxrvel]

intrusive (4)

series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. THIS IS EDITED!! there are new scenes!! 16/9. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! sadness, lots of mixed feelings, self-hatred, flashbacks, flashbacks. a/n. hi guysssssssssss. its been a while, i know and im so sorry. i hope this chapter doesn't feel too rushed. truth be told, between life issues and that i've been having trouble with inspiration for scenes it took me a while to build this, but surprisingly i'm pleased with the result. now, where do you think we're going and what will we do from here on out?????? surprises come, surprises go. thank you all for your continued support!! i really appreciate the feedback from all of you and reading your comments makes my days. for those who are still here, thank you. see you next time!

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There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments that kept your hair standing on end every so often or every time you remembered. They were like gaps, things you didn't know how they had gotten there, how they had happened, or how someone else knew. And you were accumulating them, suspicious, somewhat delusional and paranoid if you asked anyone, but they were held in that space in the back of your head waiting for the right moment to come out.

Between moments of lucidity and memories of the past, there were many things you had superficially let slip by.

Yuna was in front of you, her brow furrowed in concentration and her eyes almost square from the amount of time she had already spent in front of the computer. You had been at it all day, so the moment your friend appeared like it was her own living room and everyone acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary, you just plopped down on the couch with a calm expression, waiting for the perfect moment to let certain things out, to ask certain questions.

There were moments of enlightenment, there were moments of brilliant discoveries. And that day you had discovered something you had forgotten because of the brevity of its recognition, but in retrospect it was something worth knowing, even if there were still too many things, more important things, of which you were ignorant. At that moment, all gathered in the living room of your parents' house, the most important thing was what was on your mind.

“Yuna.”

Your friend barely shook her head in acknowledgement of her name. Your parents were arranging the table in the middle of the couches to settle lunch, surely a big feast like every other day for the past few days and the only reason Seojun took virtual classes that day, and your brother was ogling the dishes with his mouth ajar. Eugh.

But none of them were paying too much attention. Food, social media, ordering, direct messaging, arranging the geometrically correct dishes… everyone had their heads in their own world, and that's why you could hear the moment your father's hair touched the ground when you asked:

“You were the one who set up my book booth at the last convention?”

Four pairs of eyes bore into you.

“What?”

You looked at her expectantly, not letting the mischief interfere with your plans.

“No…! I didn't-I mean, what are you talking about?”

Yuna let out a nervous laugh, just after correcting herself when she got a blunt look from your mother. Your father stood stiffly behind his wife, the frying pan in his hands wobbling so clearly that a few drops of the soup dripped onto the wood of the floor. Your mother leaned over, leaving the plate she was carrying on the table, sending Seojun a look that caused him to swallow his saliva sonorously.

The scene was so comical that you really had a hard time not bursting out laughing.

“It's just that when I talked to Sol this morning she commented something…”

You let the words hover in the air, straining them each time it came to one of them. Yuna straightened up, completely forgetting about the computer for a second, peeling her back off the couch where she was leaning on the floor. Your father snorted in surprise so hard that he was attacked by a cough and your mother had to take the frying pan away from him before he watered down all the soup from all the shaking. Seojun hid behind your mother's legs and you just plopped down on the couch, stretching your legs over the armrest, satisfied with their reactions.

“And what did she say to you, honey?”

Your mother was the most composed, finishing arranging the dishes around the pan while your father had run out to the living room for a glass of water. Among the foursome, your mother was the only one who truly knew what dissimulation meant. You had no doubt that her sisterhood with the others in the room would end once you told them you already knew everything.

“She told me she was afraid I hadn't been able to see what you had done for me,” you frowned looking up at the ceiling, looking genuinely confused. “And it was weird, because we were talking about the last convention.”

Yuna let out a laugh, incredulous.

“And why would you be talking about that with Sol?”

Putting the antics aside, you stood up on your forearms and glared at her.

“Why did you do that?”

“What did I do?”

“Sol told me it was your idea.”

“That's not true!”

“Ah…” you held a hand to your forehead, as if you had just remembered something important. Your gaze swept around the room and Seojun cringed when your eyes landed on him. “True. She said it had been your idea.”

Before Yuna could send a warning glance at your brother, Seojun raised his hand and pointed at your friend, exclaiming:

“It was her idea! It was all Yuna's idea! Tell her mom!”

The two aforementioned closed their eyes, taking a deep breath and bringing their fingers to the bridge of their noses. Their expressions of ennui were unmatched and promptly Seojun was cringing for a completely different reason.

“You're such a jerk,” Yuna mumbled, almost barking in the direction of the poor man seeking to escape his mother's lethal gaze. Instantly, your friend turned her gaze in your direction, meeting that amused look that curled her annoyance just for a millisecond. “I thought you'd be more upset.”

“I was,” you lifted a shoulder, leaning back against the back of the couch as you listened to the string of scoldings your mom was in between yelling and whispering to your brother. “But it's impossible not to see reason when you're talking to someone like Sol.

Yuna also nodded in consideration. It was something that, not just the two of you, but all of Sol's workers agreed with. Sol had a warmth about her, a homely feel to her that made you automatically trust her and take it for granted that, if she told you everything would work out, it was because it would; whether it was by chance of the universe or because she would see to it that it did.

“Then it was a good thing you heard it from her mouth and not your inept brother's,” Yuna sent her another withering glare and you couldn't help the smile that twitched your corners as you watched your mother move the bowl of tteokbokki away from her grasp. It was so funny to see that he didn't always get the baby of the house treatment for a change.

“Were you planning on taking that to your grave?”

Yuna turned, arching her eyebrows. With her lips set in a thin line, you knew she was thinking about choosing the right words to answer you, even though that thing they'd done had led directly to the fact that, at that moment, you'd been able to afford the luxury of asking for vacation for the first time and focusing on what you truly loved to do. Even if they had worked behind your back, the result had not been so fatal.

If you took a few unwanted people out of the equation, that is.

Your friend finally softened her gaze.

“No, I knew you'd find out at some point. From whoever's mouth. A secret can only be kept from so many people.” Yuna rolled her eyes, moving to listen to your father complain from the kitchen. “But I didn't think Sol would tell you so openly. Was it on purpose?”

“Yes. I think she was trying to convince me or make up for something. I'm not sure which.”

Yuna raised her eyebrows, cocking her head in tension for barely a second. If not for the years you'd known her, you probably would've interpreted her short-lived reaction as genuine curiosity, the desire for a tidbit of gossip. But your friend's tension was palpable and it was something that left you wondering a bit, especially when she didn't speak until your father returned to the kitchen.

“Honey, I think I'm going to get a sore throat.”

There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments. There were too many things you were still ignorant of and had no idea about; things far beyond what was happening in the present.

There were things you still didn't understand, like why and how Jeon Jungkook, the country's most famous idol and probably one of the celebrities most likely to have easiest facial recognition on the street, had so stealthily stumbled upon your whereabouts or why he had acted as if seeing you again was a reunion with his lost puppy from years ago.

“Are you still upset, noona?”

Seojun watched you warily, your sidelong glance leading him to cower once more behind your father. With lunch settled and the tension gone (barely), you all had been able to enjoy an enjoyable moment. After all, the dense atmosphere that still lingered was only due to the fact that teasing Seojun was fun and more satisfying when you had no reason to do so.

It all came from a great consideration that your family, and even Sol, had for you, trying to support you however they could, even if you didn't even seek their help. As much as you wanted to (and didn't really want to) there wasn't much reason to get angry. Less so when the outcome, likewise, had been favorable.

“We should focus on what's important,” Yuna dipped her spoon into the almost non-existent conversation, finishing her meal and leaving the plate practically glistening, to which your mother was able to sketch a satisfied smile. “We have a meeting this afternoon.”

“Ah. Yes,” Seojun nodded, remembering his place as the second-in-command of the business, because you had actually been relieved of any position you might have held in your own business. “As the person in charge of the treasury of this company, I must admit that the decision made is the most appropriate and in our best interests.”

Yuna narrowed her eyes, seeming it was almost impossible for her to ignore your brother's annoying presence.

“What have you contributed to this business to call yourself the person in charge of the treasury?”

“I've done a lot for this project! Besides, you are focused on advertising. You should be in charge of the public relations department.”

“And I can't handle both?!”

“I set up all the lines of communication with the delivery people and organized the accounts with Dad!” Seojun pulled Dad's shirt collar, pulling him close to his face with a frown. Your dad only let him be, as he savored a wing. “You took charge of net with mom. We can't reverse charges now. Experience and reality speak for themselves.”

Yuna clicked her tongue, irritated.

“Whatever,” shaking her head, she flipped the computer on the table so Seojun and your parents could get a good look at the proposal you had accepted, after arduous study over the weekend as a family. “After a long board meeting, which stretched over the entire weekend, this was the accepted offer.”

You could almost see the zeros running in your brother's eyes, with a budding smile making its way across his face. Your parents looked pleased, proud. And Yuna kept that determined expression; she was really taking all this seriously and you didn't know yet how you could thank her for it.

“Ah…” your mother sighed, holding a hand to her chest. “It's finally happening.”

When she sent you that look with the sparkling eyes you couldn't help but shrink back on your spot on the floor.

“Mom, I think it's best we avoid getting too excited until we've signed.”

Your mother nodded, closing her eyes and breathing to keep her composure.

“Accepted the offer, we were summoned to their facility, which is where we will be heading after resting from this delicious lunch.” Yuna smiled radiantly in your mother's direction. Sometimes you wondered if she wasn't missed at home. But… no, she was much better off here.

“My children have to rest very well to make the best decisions at that meeting,” your mother nodded, stroking Yuna's hair superficially and getting up to pick up the dishes. Seojun got up to help her, but your father stopped him, keeping the warm smile on his face. Of all of them, your father was the most expressive, but you knew that at that moment he was holding back only because at the slightest he would burst into tears. And yes, with a simple glance in your direction, his eyes watered and he had to run away hugging the dishes against his chest.

Seojun sighed dramatically.

“I wish they had been this excited when I entered college.”

Yuna moved across the table, smacking him on the forehead that left him with an instant redness.

“What are you talking about, idiot? You celebrated all weekend.”

Seojun didn't respond, touching his forehead with a grimace. Yuna snorted, not believing your brother's audacity, and turned her focus back to the contents of the proposal you had received from Noble Publishing Apgujeong. You still remembered the screams that had echoed throughout the house when they found the letter from that publishing house in the mail, the most prestigious and probably the highest one could aspire to in the world of writing and for the purposes of editing and publishing. There wasn't a book published under that publishing house that wasn't a success, and that they had sought you out themselves was a great privilege.

“Speaking of celebrations,” Seojun took the floor again, when your parents had finished taking the dishes away and agreed that you would wash them all together before youo left for the publishing house, because nothing was good enough, ”I don't think we've had a moment to at least pop a champagne and celebrate this.”

Your parents remained thoughtful, but you were already shaking your head when Yuna spoke:

“It's true,” her frown said she couldn't believe they hadn't done it yet, but between so many chores, to-dos and new things you were discovering on this new path, you couldn't just take the luxury of doing nothing for a few hours. There was a lot to work on. “We should do it after the meeting. With the contract at home, it will be much better!”

Your father and Seojun cheered in agreement and your mother gave a few claps.

“You're working tomorrow, Yuna.”

“So what?” your friend frowned at you. “Do you think it'll be the first time I've gone to work with a hangover?”

Your mom's throat clearing startled her, and she quickly melted like pudding with a sheepish grin.

“But this time it will be for a good cause…and it won't happen again.”

Your mom nodded, not very convinced.

“Incidentally,” Yuna regained her posture, sending a glare at Seojun, ”we could have y/n finally watch the video reactions of her books.”

“You haven't seen them?” Seojun exclaimed and suddenly the four pairs of eyes felt very threatening.

“… no…”

“Mom?? Did you hear that?!”

“Sweetheart!” your father exclaimed, looking at you as if he had heard that you did something worthy of banishment. “Why haven't you seen the videos, don't you know the good things they say about you?”

“The compliments,” your mother nodded. “Almost the entire internet loves your books.”

“That's an exaggeration, mom…”

“How did you even avoid all that hype?” Seojun asked, leaning over the table. “Even Dad's TikTok wasn't spared, and he only watches National Geographic videos.”

“…I muffled a few words.”

A roar of incredulous refusals followed your words and promptly everyone was moving to corner you against the couch so you had no escape.

“There is no time to waste.” Seojun nodded in Yuna's direction and it offended you too much that the only times they agreed was to do something against you.

“Mrs. l/n, I think dessert will be popcorn,” Yuna moved her computer closer to the center of the table as Seojun settled in behind you, each of your parents on your sides as your friend opened the TikTok web app.

“Hey, no… no. I'm not ready to watch this. I'm not-”

“Nonsense, noona. Even better, this will give you a big confidence boost for the meeting this afternoon.”

You didn't believe Seojun at all. Your nerves were on edge as Yuna moved to sit next to your brother and the first words of the first video echoed in the living room:

“My honest opinion of the A Million Swords trilogy…”

-

“Do you think I might publish any of these one day?”

Your fingers drummed on the keyboard of the desktop computer, watching the letters spinning a story that no one yet knew. No one, except for you and Taehyung at that moment. His gaze was confused as his dark eyes hid behind the dark, unruly, damp locks of his hair. For a pool day, you couldn't have had a better time than writing parts of your still unfinished story, the one you used to run away to when you had a whole reality to mold in front of you. Maybe you should have paid a little more attention back then; attention to details, to gestures, to distances, to forced smiles; maybe if you had paid that kind of attention you would have been able to foresee everything that would happen later… maybe then it wouldn't have hurt so much.

But at that moment, at 14, you could only see with stars in your eyes the enormous possibility that you thought writing would open up for you; the world you were about to discover, much farther away than you thought.

That weekend the pool party was at your house. Jimin had brought a gigantic inflatable pool withJungkook and they all kept splashing water in each other's eyes in the backyard. In your prolonged absence, surely, Taehyung had ventured inside the house to the only place he would know you would be if it wasn't next to them.

“Do I think? I'm absolutely sure.”

Taehyung shook the droplets slipping from the ends of his hair all over your face.

“Tae!”

“Why are you doubting it?”

“I never said I was doubting it.”

Your friend took one of the armchairs that each of the boys had recast in your room, which no matter how much you pulled them out always ended up there again, to sit next to you and watch the unfinished paragraphs on the computer screen. There were four armchairs already gathering dust in the corner of the room that you still hadn't had the heart to take them out.

“Look at that,” the brown-haired man moved his face closer to the screen, splashing more water on you, with a mischievous grin. “It was desire that stirred me, far beyond the reach of reason or any cognitive faculty. In the depths of my being, I knew with unshakable certainty that I was right. Their gaze scrutinized my every expression, searching for ways to break me, while their fingers, far from innocent, accused me relentlessly. Yet, even as the weight of their scrutiny bore down on me, there was no realm, no dimension in this vast, boundless universe where I had not chosen him above all else. Not even as the streets ignited, the houses crumbled to ashes, and the roar of thunder drowned out the cries for mercy…who writes like that?”

“y/n!”

Your other two friends appeared, reveling in the unapproved reading of the first draft of your first novel, and you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

You moved quickly to press the off button and your friends barely let out a short laugh.

“Don't ever do that again.”

“Then don't ever doubt you again.”

“I wasn't doubting! It was just a question…”

“She just wants you to be honest, Tae.” Jimin entered the room, moving right behind his friend and flashing a smile that made your hair stand on end.

“Honest...?”

“Shut up, Jimin.”

The aforementioned barely let out a laugh, under the scrutinizing and confused expressions of his other two friends.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook spoke, trying to gain ground in that unfamiliar room, clasping his hands in front of him in nervousness. He didn't even understand why he was nervous, he just knew he didn't like the obfuscated expression on your face.

“Nothing, Junkookie, Jimin's just an idiot who only knows how to spout rubbish.”

“Rubbish? Where do you even get those words from?”

“I learned it yesterday in literature class!”

“Uh-huh…”

“Stop it, Jimin!”

-

He wasn't a person to be caught off guard. His cautious attitude was something he had developed over time; with the experience of going through and surviving difficult situations; with the toughness of making strong decisions and constantly bearing the burden of being at fault for their consequences.

So no, Min Yoongi took it upon himself to plan things around him so meticulously that every aspect of his life had a place and a time; an hour and a second.

A planning so perfect that at that moment it was slipping through his hands like sand. His friend… no, Dohyun could do nothing but rest his hands against his desk sending him an obfuscated look, trying to look almost as disgruntled as Yoongi was at what he had learned would happen in that office.

“Of all the things I thought you could tell me…” Choi Dohyun shook his head, and on his face Yoongi could tell there were no words that could qualify his surprise. But he was surprised too, to be honest. He didn't know how he had summoned the fortitude to move so quickly from across town, from his study, to arrive at Dohyun's office and blurt that out to his face as if it were any Tuesday afternoon, as if he were simply inviting him to dinner at his house. “I've never underestimated you, Yoongi-ah, but this…”

“Who contacted you?”

“Who contacted me?” Dohyun let out a laugh, which felt a little heavy to Yoongi as he shifted his weight on his feet. “What makes you think I can't recognize a good deal from a distance when I see one? They call me the Shark for a reason, don't you think? I smell business like they smell blood in the sea.”

Yoongi clasped his hands at his sides, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Dohyun, who looked up and barely ran his tongue over his teeth before plopping back down on his ergonomic chair.

“The decision is already made,” was all he said to him, generating a flutter of emotions inside Yoongi.

“Who contacted you?” Yoongi insisted, feeling time slipping through his fingers. “How did you find out about… this?”

Dohyun let out a laugh, bordering on sarcasm and disbelief. Yoongi would've taken more time to think about it there, to ponder what he was doing, what his impulses were pushing him to do. But within the framework of his decisions and conflicting feelings, Yoongi had taken a path that he could no longer undo and the least he could do was avoid was to generate collateral damage to someone. Just for the chance to try, even though the probability of having the universe in his favor was microscopic, he decided not to give in to reason.

Maybe he would still be the villain in someone else's story, but in his conscience… maybe… maybe he was right and was looking for no way to excuse himself; to excuse things he could no longer change; to excuse behaviors he could no longer erase and decisions he could no longer undo.

Perhaps, too, it was the price he had to pay for what he had done. For what he had said; for what he had not said; for what he had done and what he had not done; for his action and his omission; for his perpetration and complicity. If Yoongi had known that time in his twenties that such a decision would have taken things so far, so close to the impossibility of healing, he surely would not have made it .

But to regret now, what good would it do him? To mutter apologies now, what good would it do him? To dig through the fibers of an unbridled heart, what good would it do him?

“Yoongi. I am the head of the largest publishing house in this country. If you thought I was going to see fluttering around the internet this opportunity in a million and as an entrepreneur and investor I wasn't going to take it, who are you taking me for?”

He should've dragged Namjoon away when he saw him in the parking lot, because business was his forte and not Yoongi's. Yoongi might as well cringe at Dohyun's words because how was he going to refute them. He had come with fortitude, yes. He had come with resolve and determination, yes; believing that this decision was the right thing to do, the least he could do right. And yet, at that crucial moment, with everything against him and the swords at his neck, Yoongi had his arms crossed again.

Maybe he should've dragged Namjoon along, but… how would he know if he was on his side?

“But don't worry. I'll try to keep you apart. You know I always separate personal matters from my work.”

Dohyun was a professional liar. If telling lies were a profession, Dohyun would quadruple the fortune he now boasts as the owner of the country's largest publishing house. Yoongi hated the way he covered up his poisonous words with honey, as if he couldn't see through the thin texture of the liquid how everything was corroding around him. And Dohyun was not his friend, if he wasn't sure before, he was now.

It's business, Namjoon would say, as rational and objective as ever; a businessman can't have someone around who attacks his vision, his business, that's an enemy.

Yoongi right now was a blob of green soup on Dohyun's pole, about to walk to an important meeting where he would close a million-dollar deal. His insignificance bordered on indescribability, but his diminutive presence was big enough to be considered a splinter in the foot.

The phone rang, breaking the tension in the atmosphere, and instead of answering it, Dohyun sent a glance toward the oak doors and then to Yoongi's limp body. Clasping his hands once again, it shook him inside to think that once again he allowed himself to be trampled. Once again, he was going to be the misfortune in someone's life.

“They're already here,” Dohyun almost muttered, an amused expression on his face. “You can leave now or you can stay and watch.”

Yoongi knew he'd be happy to have him there, watching him bite his tongue, trying to swallow his embarrassment. And wouldn't it be simpler to just leave, to brush against the fate he once let slip away as if it were something so trivial that it didn't tear a piece of his soul to even think about it; to brush against an opportunity he missed, selfish and presumptuous, as if he were the only one whose heart was beating with pain that day.

“I've never asked you for anything…”

“And neither have I,” Dohyun interrupted him, raising his gaze serenely, lifting his chin to acerbic dominance. “And all I'm asking you now is to stay out of my business.”

And Yoongi would've had to agree with Namjoon, because business and money definitely change a person. No one can rise to a high position, of Choi Dohyun's level, without having scored a big armory and a few degrees of tough personality willing to kill to get what they want.

“I received you out of courtesy. To Jin. But I won't tolerate another second of this.”

Dohyun mumbled, and the moment he brought the phone to his ear, Yoongi knew he had lost. Again.

“Hyung…” Yoongi closed his eyes, helplessness winning out over reason, the word sour in his mouth.

“No. I'm sorry, but no. It will happen. Just make your decision, I don't want my guests to wait too long.”

He didn't know if the grinding of his teeth was as loud as he heard it in his head. He didn't know if his behavior was over the top or understandable. He didn't know if he had a right to those emotions or if he had lost it more than ten years ago. Well, ten years in her head. He didn't know if he deserved that moment; to share that space and time and catch off guard someone who could become as cautious as he was now; because if Yoongi learned from anyone to be the way he was today, it was because of her.

He didn't know, in retrospect, if he ever made a good decision in his life.

-

i reeaally want to know your thoughts on this one!! re-edited!

tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592@yoongznme @queenbloody @leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesworld @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison @butnotmontana @ismelllikechlorine247 @19yearoldjstryingtolivelife @thatgirliehan @yuuuumii @welcometomyworld13 @sugarbaby69x @whoa-jo @chaotickyrith @dreamerwasfound @darlingz99

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 68 - Babel by R. F. Kuang

Overview

I came to Babel with extremely little knowledge about the actual contents of the book but a deep sense of all the vibes swirling around its reception – that it was robbed of a Hugo nomination (if the author didn’t outright refuse it), that it’s probably the single buzziest and most Important sf/f release of 2022, that it was stridently political, and plenty more besides. I also went in having mostly enjoyed The Poppy War series and being absolutely enamoured by the elevator pitch of an alternate history Industrial Revolution where translation is literally magic. And, well-

It is wrong to say I hated this book, but only because keeping track of my complaints and starting organize this review in my head was entertaining enough to keep me invested in the reading experience.

The story is set in an alternate 1830s, where the rise of the British Empire relies upon the dominance of its translators, as it is the mixture of translation and silverworking, the inscription of match-pairs in different languages on bars of worked silver and the leveraging of the ambiguity and loss of meaning between them that fuels the world’s magic. The protagonist is pluckted from his childhood home in Canton after his family dies in a cholera outbreak and whisked away to the estate of Professor Lowell, an Oxford translator he quickly realized is his unacknowledged father. He’s made to choose an English name (Robin Swift) and raised and tutored as a future translator in service to the Empire.

The meat of the story is focused on Robin’s education in Oxford, his relationship with the rest of his cohort, and his growing radicalization and entanglement with the revolutionary Hermes Society. Things come to a head when in his fourth year the cohort is sent back to Canton to, well, help provoke the first Opium War, though none of them aware of that. The final act follows the fallout of that, by which I mean it lives up to the full title of “Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution”.

To be clear, this was technically a very accomplished book. The writing never dragged and the prose was, if not exactly lyrical, always clear and often evocative. Despite the breadth of space and time the story covers, I never had any complaints about the pacing – and honestly, the ending was, dramatically speaking, one of the more natural and well-executed ones I’ve read recently. It’s very well-constructed.

All that being said – allow me to apologize for how the rest of this is mostly just going to be a litany of complaints. But the book clearly believes itself to be an important and meaningful work of political art, which means I don’t feel particularly bad about holding it to high standards.

Narrative Voice

To start with, just, dear god the tone. This is a book with absolutely zero faith in its audience’s ability to reach their own conclusions, or even follow the symbolism and implication it lays down. Every important point is stated outright, repeated, and all but bolded and underlined. In this book set in 1830s England there are footnotes fact-checking the imperialists talking heads to, I guess, make sure we don’t accidentally become convinced by their apologia for the slave trade? Everything is just relentlessly didactic, in a way that ended up feeling rather insulting even when I agreed with the points Kuang was making.

More than that, and this is perhaps a more subjective complaint but – for an ostensible period piece, the narrative voice and perspective just felt intensely modern? This was theoretically an omniscient third person book, with the narrative voice being pretty distinct from any of the actual characters – with the result that the implicit narrator was instead the sort of person of spends six hours a day getting into arguments on twitter and for this effort calls themselves a progressive activist. The identities of all the characters – as delivered by the objective narration – were all very neat and legible from the perspective of someone at a 2022 HR department listing how diverse their team was, which was somewhere between a tragic lost opportunity to show how messy and historical racial/ethnic/national identities are and outright anachronistic, depending. (This was honestly one of the bigger disappointments, coming from Kuang’s earlier work. Say what you will of The Poppy War series, the narration is with Rin all the way down, and it trusts the reader enough not to blink.) More than that it was just distracting – the narration ended up feeling like an annoying obstacle between me and the story, and not in any fun postmodern way either.

Characters

Speaking of the cast – they simply do not sound or feel like they actually grew up in the 19th century. Now, some modernization of speech patterns and vocabulary and moral commensense is just the price of doing business with mass market period pieces, granted, but still – no 19th century Anglo-Indian revolutionary is going use the phrase ‘Narco-military state’ (if for no other reason than we’re something like a century early for ‘narco-state’ to be coined as a term at all). An even beyond feeling out of time most of the characters feel kind of thinly sketched?

Or no, it’s not that the characters are thinly sketched so much as their relationships are. We’re repeatedly, insistently told that these four students are fast friends and closer than family and would happily die for each other, but we’re very rarely actually shown it. This is partly just a causality of trying to skim over a four-year university education in the middle third of one book, I think, but still – the good times and happy moments are almost always sort of skimmed over, summarized in the course of a paragraph or two that usually talk in terms of memories and consequences more than the relationships themselves. The points of friction and the arguments, meanwhile, are usually played out entirely on the page, or at least described in much more detail. In the end you kind of have to just take it as read that any of these people actually love each other, given that at least two of them seem to be feuding at any given point for the entire time they know each other.

Letty deserves some special attention. She’s the only white member of Robin’s cohort at Babel and she honestly feels like less of acharacter and more a collection of tropes about white women in progressive spaces? Even more than the rest, it’s hard to believe the rest of the class views her as beloved ride-or-die found family when essentially every time she’s on screen it’s so she can do a microagression or a white fragility or something. Also, just – you know how relatively common it is to see just, blatantly misogynistic memes repackaged as anti-racist because it specifies ‘white women’? There’s a line in this that almost literally says ‘Letty wasn’t doing anything to disprove the stereotype of woman as uselessly emotional and hysteric’.

Also, she’s the one who ends up betraying the other three and trying to turn them in when they turn revolutionary. Which is probably inevitable given the book’s politics, but as it happened felt like less of the shocking betrayal that it was supposed to be and more just, checking off a box for a dramatic reverse. Of course she turned on them, none of them ever really seemed to even like each other.

As a Period Piece

So, the book is set in the 1830s, in the midst of the industrial revolution and its social fallout, and the leadup to the First Opium War (which is, through the magic of, well, magic ,but also mercantilist economics, make into a synecdoche for British global dominion more broadly). On the one hand, the setting is impeccably researched, recent and relevant historical events are referenced whenever they would come up, and the footnotes are full to bursting with quotes and explanations of texts or cultural ephemera that’s brought up in the narration.

On the other, the setting doesn’t feel authentic in the slightest, the portrayal of the British Empire is bizarrely inconsistent, and all that richly researched historical grounding ends up feeling less like a living world and more like a particularly well-down set for a Doctor Who episode.

The story is incredibly focused around Oxford as a city and a university. There’s a whole author’s note about the research and slight changes made into its geography and I absolutely believe its portrayal as a physical location and the laws about how women were treated and how the different colleges were organized and all that is exactly as accurate as Kuang wanted them to be. The issue is really the people. With the exception of a few cartoonish villains who barely get more than a couple pages apiece, no one feels, sounds like, or acts like they actually belong in the 19th century. The racism the protagonists struggle with all feels much more 21st century than Victorian, and the frame of mind everyone inhabits still comes across more as ‘unusually blatantly racist Englishman’ than 19th century scholars and polymaths.

This is especially blatant as far as religion goes. It’s occasionally mentioned, sure enough, but to the extent anyone actually believes in Christianity it’s of a very modern and disenchanted sort – this is a society that sends out missionaries as a conscious tool of colonial expansion, not because of anything as silly or absurd as actually wanting to spread their gospel. Also like, it’s Oxford, in the nineteenth century. For all the racism the protagonists have to deal with, they should be getting so much more shit from ‘well-meaning’ locals and students trying to save their (one Muslim, one atheist, one probably Christian but black and protective of Haitian Vodou on a cultural level which would be more than enough) souls.

Or, and this is more minor, it is a central conceit of the whole finale that if a few (like, two) determined revolutionaries can infiltrate Babel they’ll be able to take the entire place hostage with barely any trouble. This is because the students and professors there are, basically, whimpy bookworms who’ll faint at the sight of blood and have no stomach for the sort of violence their work actually supports and drives. Which – look, I really don’t want to defend the ruling class of Victorian Britain here, but I’m not sure physical cowardice is really one of their failings, as a group? I mean, there’s an entire system of institutionalized child abuse in the boarding schools they went to to get them used to taking and dealing out violence and abuse. Basically every upper-class sport is thinly disguised military drill or ritual combat (okay, or rowing). Half of them would graduate to immediately running off and invading places for the glory of the queen. I’m not sure two sleep-deprived nerds with knives would actually have been able to cow the crowd here, is what I’m saying. (This would stick out less if the text wasn’t so dripping with contempt for them on precisely these grounds.)

Much less minor are our heroic revolutionaries themselves. And okay, this is more a matter of taste than anything but like – the Hermes Society is an illegal conspiracy of renegade current and former Babel scholars dedicated to using their knowledge of magic and access to university resources to oppose and undermine the British Empire in general and the work of the school in particular. Think Metternich’s worse nightmare, but in Oxford instead of Paris and focused on colonial liberation (continental Europe barely exists for the purposes of the book, Britain is Empire.) So! A secret society of professional revolutionaries in the heydey of just that, with a name that just has to be Hermetic symbolism, who concern themselves with both high politics and metaphysics.

They are just so very, very boring. This is the age of the Conspiracy of the Equals, the Carbonari, the Seasons! The literal Illumanti are still within living memory! Where’s the pageantry, the ritual, the grandiosity? The elaborate initiation rituals and oaths of undying loyalty? They’re so pragmatic, so humble, so (and I know I keep coming back to this) modern. It’s just such an utter wasted opportunity. Even beyond the level of aesthetics, these are revolutionaries with remarkably little positive ideology – the oppose colonialism and racism for reasons they take as self-evident and so don’t feel the need to theorize about it (and talk about them with the vocabulary of a modern activist, because of course they do), but they’re pretty much consciously agnostic as to what world should look like instead. They vaguely end up supporting a sort of petty-bourgeois socialism (in the Marxist sense), but the alliance with Luddites is essentially political convenience – they really don’t seem to have any vision of the future at all, either in England or the various places they claim as homelands.

On Empire and Industrialization

The story is set during the early nineteenth century, so of course the Industrial Revolution is a pretty core part of the background. The Silver Industrial Revolution, technically, since the Babellers translation magic is in this world a key and load-bearing part of it. Despite the addition of miracle-working enhancers and supports to its fundamental technology, the industrial revolution plays out pretty identically to history – right down to the same cities becoming hubs of industry, despite steam engines using enchanted silver instead of coal and thus, presumably, the entire economic and logistical system that brought this particular cities to prominence being totally unrecognizable. This is not a book that’s in any way actually about tracing how something would change history – which isn’t a complaint, to be clear, that’s a perfectly valid creative choice.

It does, however, make it rather galling that the single actually significant difference to history is that the introduction of magic turns the industrial revolution into a Legend of Zelda boss with a giant glowing weak point you can hit to destroy the whole enterprise.

On a narrative level, I get it – it simplifies things and allows for a far happier and more dramatic ending if destroying Babel is not just a symbolic act but also literally sends London Bridge falling down and scuttles the entire royal navy and every mill and factory in Britain. It’s just that I think that by doing so it trades away any chance for actually making interesting commentary on anti-colonial and -capitalist resistance. A world where a single act of spectacular terrorism really can destroy a modern empire is frankly so detached from our world that it ceases to be able to really materially comment upon it.

Like, the principle reason to not take the Luddites as your role models is not that they were morally vicious but that they were doomed – capitalism’s ability to repair damage to infrastructure and fixed goods is legitimately very impressive! Trying to force an entire ruling class not to adopt a technology that makes whoever commits to it tremendous amounts of money (thus, power) is a herculean task even when you have a state apparatus and standing army – adding an ‘off’ button to the lot of it just trades all sense of relevance for a satisfyingly cathartic ending.

(This is leaving untouched how the book just takes it as a given that the industrial revolution was a strictly immiserating force that did nothing but redistribute money from artisans to capitalists. Which certainly tracks as something people at the time would have thought but given how resolutely modern all the other politics in the work are rings really weirdly.)

All of which is only my second biggest issue with how the book presents its successful resistance movement. It all pales in comparison to making the Empire a squeamish paper tiger.

Like, the book hates colonialism in general and the British Empire in particular, the narrative and footnotes are filled with little asides about various atrocities and injustices and just ways it was racist or complicit in some particular atrocity. But more than that it is contemptuous of it, it views the empire as (as the cliche goes) a perpetually rotting edifice that just needs one good kick; that it persists only through the myth of its own invincibility, and has no stomach for violent resistance from within. Which is absolutely absurd, and the book does seem to know it on occasion when it off-handedly mentions e.g. the Peterloo Massacre – but a character whose supposed to be the grizzled cynical pragmatic revolutionary still spouts off about how slave rebellions succeed because their masters aren’t willing to massacre their own property. Which is just so spectacularly wrong on every axis its actually almost offensive.

More importantly, the entire final act of the story relies upon the fact that the British Empire would allow a handful of foreign students seize control of a vital piece of infrastructure for weeks on end and do nothing but try to wait them out as the national physically falls apart around them. Like, c’mon, there would be siege artillery set up and taking shots by the end of week two. As with the Oxford students, the Victorian elite had all manner of flaws – take your pick, really – but squeamishness wasn’t really one of them.

On Magic

So the magical system underlying the whole story is – you know how Machinaries of Empire makes imperial ideology and metaphysics literally magical, giving expert technicians the ability to create superweapons and destroy worlds provided that the Hexarchate’s subjects observe the imperial calendar of rites and celebrate its triumphs/participate in rituals glorying in the torture of its ‘heretics’? It’s not exactly a subtle metaphor, but it works.

Babel does something similar, except the foundational atrocity fueling the engine of empire on a metaphysical level is, like, cultural appropriation. As an organizing metaphor, I find this less compelling.

Leaving that aside, the story makes translation literally capable of miracle-working – which of necessity requires making ‘languages’ distinct natural categories with observable metaphysical boundaries. It then sets the story in the 19th century – the era of newborn nation states and education systems and national literatures, where the concept of the national-linguistic community was the obsession of the entire European intelligentsia. Now this is not a book concerned with how the presence of magic would actually have changed history, in the slightest, but like – given how fascinated it is by translation and linguistics you’d think the whole ‘a language is a dialect with a navy’ cliché would at least get a light mention (but then the book doesn’t really treat language as any more inherent or natural than it does any other modern identity category, I suppose.)

As an Allegory

Okay, so having now spent an embarrassing number of words establishing to my own satisfaction that the book really doesn’t work at all as a period piece, let us consider; what if it wasn’t trying to be?

A great many things about the book just fit much better if you take it as a commentary on the modern university with Victorian window-dressing. Certainly the driving resentment of Oxford as an institution that sustains itself and grows rich off the exploitation of international students it considers second-class seems far more apt applied to contemporary elite western schools than 19th century ones. Likewise the racism the heroes face all seems like the kind you’d expect in a modern English town rather than a Victorian one. I’m not well-versed enough on the economics of the city to know for sure, but I would wager that the gleeful characterization of Oxford as a city that literally starts falling to ruin without the university to support it was also less accurate in the 1830s than it is today.

Read like this, everything coheres much better – but the most striking thing becomes the incredible vanity of the book. This is a morality tale where the natural revolutionary vanguard with the power to bring global hegemony to its knees through nothing but witholding their labour are..students at elite western universities (not, I must say, a class I’d consider in dire need of having their egos boosted). The emotions underlying everything make much more sense, but the plot itself becomes positively myopic.

Beyond that – if this is a story about international students at elite universities, it does a terrible job of actually portraying them. Or, properly, it only shows a certain type; just about every foreign-born student or professor we meet is some level of revolutionary, deeply opposed in principle to the empire they work within. No one is actually convinced by the carrot of a life as an exploited but exceedingly comfortable and well-compensated technician in the imperial core, and there’s not really acknowledgement at all of just how much of the apparatus of international institutions and governments in the global south – including positions with quite a bit of real power – end up being staffed by exactly that demographic who just sincerely agree with the various ideological projects employing them. Kuang makes it far too easy on herself by making just about every person of colour in the books one of the good guys, and totally undersells how convincing hegemonic ideology can be, basically.

The Necessity of Violence

This is a pet peeve and it’s a very minor thing that I really wouldn’t bring it up if that wasn’t literally part of the title. But it is, so – it’s a plot point that’s given a decent amount of attention that Griffin (Robin’s secret older brother, grizzled professional revolutionary, his introduction to anti-colonialism) is blamed for murdering one of his classmates who had the bad luck to be studying while he was sneaking in to steal some silver – a student that was quite well-loved by the faculty and her very successful classmates, who have never forgiven him. Later on, it’s revealed that this is an utter rewriting of history, and she’d been a double agent pretending to let herself be recruited into the Hermes Society who’d been luring Griffin into an ambush when he killed her and escaped.

This is – well, the most predictable not-even-a-twist imaginable, for one, but also – just rank cowardice. You titled the book ‘the necessity of violence’, the least you can do is actually own it and show that violent resistance means people (with faces, and names, not just abstractions only ever talked about in general terms) who are essentially personally innocent are going to end up collateral damage, and people are going to hold grudges about it. Have some courage in your convictions!

Translation

Okay, all of that said, this isn’t a book that’s wholly bad, or anything. In particular, you can really tell how much of a passion Kuang has for the art and science of translation. The depth of knowledge and eagerness to share just about overflows from the page whenever the book finds an excuse to talk about it at length, and it’s really very endearing. The philosophizing about translation was also as a rule much more interesting and nuanced then whenever the book tried to opine about high politics or revolutionary tactics.

Anyways, I really can’t recommend the book in any real way, but it did stick in my head for long enough that I’ve now written 4,000 words about it. So at the very least it’s the interesting sort of bad book, y’know?

[fluentmoviequoter]

The Kay Princesses' Happily Ever After

This is intended to be Part 2 of The Kay Princesses

Requested Here!

Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x fem!reader

Summary: Deacon wants to marry you, but he has to ensure that his kids understand and agree before he proposes. Then, you have a special question for Lila.

Warnings: fluff, brief angst, Annie's fate is up to you

Word Count: 2.4k+ words

A/N: While this is a part 2, it is written from a different POV. I think it could also be read as a standalone, but there are references to the events of part 1. I hope you enjoy!! :)

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Masterlist | Request Rules & Info

Deacon’s kids don’t get to visit him at HQ much anymore, so when they have a day off school and 20 Squad is on standby, he decides to take them by. His team loves seeing them and playing with them – none more than Luca. While they’re there, however, Deacon decides that today is also the day to ask them the most important question he may ever ask. He wants to marry you, he’s known that for much longer than he has had the ring, but he has to get their approval first. Since the beginning, you and he have both understood that if any of the kids said no, you would step back. Deacon prays that you don’t have to step back after walking so far together.

After he calls Matthew, Lila, and Samuel back to his side, he prepares to leave for the day.

“Hey, good luck, Deac!” Luca calls.

Deacon nods his head in thanks, then leads his kids back to the car. He gets to spend the afternoon with them for once, so he’ll ask them as soon as he finds the right words. They eat lunch together, then the kids go to their separate rooms to entertain themselves while Deacon cleans the kitchen.

When he’s done, Deacon takes a deep breath and walks to Lila’s room. She’ll probably say yes, but Deacon prepares himself for the worst. Her door is open, and she’s lying on her bed coloring.

“Lila, can we talk for a minute?” Deacon asks from the doorway of her room.

“Yeah, Daddy,” she answers.

Deacon nods, and Lila frowns at the look on his face. He’s nervous, and she can tell that something isn’t quite right. After he closes her door, he sits on the side of her bed and takes a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” Lila asks.

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart, I just need to ask you something. But, if you want to say no, you can. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Deacon says your name, then stops. He hasn’t told the kids how serious things have gotten with you yet. His team knows, of course, but this is the moment where a single word from any of his children could end what he has with you.

“I want to marry her,” Deacon adds softly. He smiles kindly at Lila before he asks, “Would you be alright with that?”

Lila slides her coloring book aside and climbs into Deacon’s lap. He holds her upright, so she doesn’t fall, and when she wraps her arms firmly around him, he tightens his grip on her.

“Will she live here?” Lila asks.

“Yes, or maybe we could get another house.” He doesn’t want to explain that if they don’t want you in the same house where they knew Annie, he’d move without question.

“And she’ll look like a princess in her white dress, right?”

Deacon smiles as he answers, “Absolutely. And you can wear a dress to be a princess, too.”

“I like her,” Lila says. “I want you to get married.”

Deacon sighs, and hugs Lila to his chest. He whispers that he loves her, and Lila laughs before she murmurs, “I know.”

When Deacon exits her room, he sees the sign hanging across the hall that says, ‘Boys Only (except Lila).’ Samuel will be easily convinced; he thinks you’re the greatest person ever because you know all the shortcuts in Candy Land. Matthew, however, despite having come a long way in his treatment of you, may not be so eager to welcome the idea of having you around all the time. Deacon knocks on the door, and it pushes open.

“Dad! Look!” Matthew calls. He holds up two toys that he has hooked together. “It worked.”

“That’s awesome, bud. Good job,” Deacon responds. “Can you take a break from playing for a minute? I need to ask you something.”

“You’re getting married?” Matthew guesses as he sets his modified toy aside.

“I- why do you think that?” Deacon asks.

“Uncle Luca told you good luck,” Samuel interjects. “Why do you need it?”

“Alright, boys, let’s go back. I want to get married, yes, but if you don’t want me to, I won’t. So, are you comfortable with her being here more?”

“Yes!” Samuel cheers. Deacon smiles, though he suspected as much.

“She’s not replacing Mom, right?” Matthew asks quietly.

“Not at all.”

Matthew nods. “You should do it, Dad. I like her, and she makes you happy.”

Deacon pulls Matthew into a hug without much thought. Matthew groans but returns the affection. Soon, there will be another Kay Princess in the house who may get an exception to the boys-only rule.

Kids are notoriously bad at keeping secrets, and the bigger the secret, the faster it will be shared. So, the moment Deacon learns that his kids like you and support his decision to marry you, he calls you. There’s not much planning or time to make the moment special, but Deacon can’t go another moment without asking you. As Hondo said, the ring is burning him after holding onto it for so long.

When you knock on Deacon’s door, you expect him to open it. Instead, Lila welcomes you in wearing her favorite dress.

“You look beautiful, Lila,” you tell her.

She hugs you, then leads you through the house and to the back door. Outside, the lights Deacon put up to decorate his backyard are aglow in the darkening dusk sky. Deacon stands beneath the tree in the center of the yard, and Matthew and Samuel wait on the deck.

“What’s going on?” you ask them.

Samuel presses his lips together tightly and shakes his head while Matthew answers, “A surprise. Dad wants to tell you.”

“Oh,” you reply softly.

Lila waves for you to go, and you walk off of the deck and into the grass. When you reach Deacon, his smile changes. He takes both of your hands and pulls you closer.

“Thanks for coming,” he begins.

“Of course. What’s going on?” you inquire. “This is beautiful, but…”

“You’re beautiful,” Deacon replies. “And you’re smart, caring, you love my kids… I love you, and every princess quality that you have. I can’t imagine my life without you on my team.”

Deacon releases your right hand as he kneels. Your eyes widen as he pulls a black box from his pocket.

“Will you do me the honor of marrying me, and being on my team, at my side, for the rest of our lives?”

You nod quickly, unable to speak past the tears pressing against your eyes. After a shaky breath, you mumble, “Yes, Deacon. Yes!”

He slides the ring onto your finger, and you don’t even look at it before you hug him. Deacon’s arm wraps tightly around your waist, and he holds you against him as he stands. Behind you, his kids cheer together. You pull back enough to kiss him, then look over your shoulder at Lila, Matthew, and Samuel.

“They’re okay with this?” you whisper.

“More than okay. They’re gaining another Kay princess in their lives, too,” Deacon assures you.

You watch Lila twirl in her dress and realize that they’re as much a part of this as you are.

“Deacon, can I ask Lila to be my maid of honor?”

Deacon smiles and kisses you again. Being a Kay princess is far more rewarding than you anticipated.

“Good morning,” Deacon greets when he answers the door. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome, as always,” you reply.

Deacon welcomes you in, and you kiss his cheek as you pass him.

“Is she ready?”

“Almost.” Deacon laughs before he drops his voice to explain, “She keeps changing. She wants to look perfect.”

“Then would you please take her this?”

You pass Deacon a pink gift bag, and he can’t deny your smile, so he delivers it to Lila’s room. Her squeal reaches your ears in the living room, and your smile widens as Deacon returns.

“What is it?” Deacon asks.

“A matching princess dress. Today had to be special.”

“Every day is special with you.”

“We match!” Lila exclaims.

You look away from Deacon to see her standing before you. She smiles at you before she rushes to hug you. At Deacon’s silent prompting, she thanks you for the dress.

“Well, we’re off to enjoy a princess day,” you tell Deacon.

“Enjoy. Call if you need anything.”

You promise to do just that, then take Lila’s hand and lead her outside. It’s a big day for both of you. Lila gets to live like a princess and spend the day with another girl, and you get to ask her to be your maid of honor. You don’t doubt that she’ll say yes, but just in case, you have a backup plan to involve her in the wedding party another way.

By lunch, Lila is getting tired. She doesn’t want to stop, however, until you tell her about a fairytale-themed restaurant you’d like to try. Easily convinced, you hold her hand as you enter the whimsical building and are led to your seats.

“Lila, have you ever been to a wedding?” you ask her.

“Mmhmm. One of Dad’s work friends,” she answers.

“Do you know what a maid of honor is?” Lila shakes her head, so you ask, “What about a bridesmaid?”

“The girls who stand with the bride?”

“Yep, those are bridesmaids. But the one that stands closest to the bride is called a maid of honor, and it’s usually the bride’s best friend or a girl who is really, really important to her.”

Lila nods along with your explanation, and when you see your waitress returning with your glittery pink princess drinks, you decide to ask sooner rather than later. You set an envelope on the table, with her name written elegantly across the front.

“Would you like to be my maid of honor, Lila?” you ask.

The waitress stops when she hears your question. She smiles and nods to assure you it’s fine to finish before she delivers your beverages.

“Like your best friend?” Lila whispers.

“Yeah. Because you’re super special.”

“And we’re both Dad’s princesses?”

You smile and answer, “That too.”

“Really?”

“Open the letter.”

Lila pulls the card out of the envelope. It’s a picture of a castle with two princesses curtseying, and underneath it reads, “Join me on our special day?”

“Yes!” Lila answers. “I want to!”

She slides out of her seat and rounds the table. Lila hugs you tightly, and you pull the chair beside you out so that she can stay on the same side of the table as you.

“Congratulations, your highnesses,” your waitress says. “I’m sure you’ll be the best maid of honor ever.”

“Thank you!” Lila replies.

“Thank you,” you add.

“So, what do I do?” Lila asks you.

“Lots of things. But I think we should get some lunch before we go shopping for your maid of honor dress.”

Lila quickly agrees and leans against your arm to look at the menu with you.

The morning of your wedding is spent getting ready with your closest friends and family. Luca and Street invite themselves into the bridal suite as well when they hear from Lila that you have snacks.

“Are you nervous?” Luca asks. “Deacon’s reviewed his vows like fifteen times.”

“Should I be?” you reply. “Because I’ve honestly never been this happy and excited in my life.”

“Me neither!” Lila agrees, swishing the skirt of her dress around her legs.

“Deac just wants it to be perfect, special for all of you,” Street adds.

“I would’ve married him at the courthouse the morning after he proposed,” you point out. “It’s already more perfect than I ever expected.”

“We’ll tell him that as soon as we’re done,” Street says, reaching for another cookie.

“Aren’t groomsmen supposed to stay with the groom?” you ask Luca.

“He told me to bring Lila back,” Luca argues. “Never said I had to return by a certain time.”

“Have you seen Deacon cry?” Street asks.

“No,” you say. “Why?”

“Because he is absolutely going to cry when you walk down the aisle, and during your vows, and again after it’s official.”

Luca nods in agreement, and you turn to make sure your mascara is waterproof.

When you step out onto the aisle, your eyes meet Deacon’s and everything else fades away. All that matters in this moment is Deacon Kay and the life you’re entering with him. Which includes his kids. Lila is waiting beside your spot with a smile, Matthew stands between Luca and Deacon on the other side, and Samuel is waving from the front row after delivering the rings to the officiant.

As you begin walking toward Deacon, you notice that he is crying. You blink quickly to clear your own vision, but the tears don’t dampen your smile or Deacon’s. When you reach the altar, you lower gently toward Lila. Matthew and Samuel come to your side as well, just as you practiced.

“Thank you for letting me be part of your life,” you tell them. “I love you, Lila, Samuel, and Matthew.”

They hug you tightly, and Deacon wipes his eyes as you all return to your places. He takes your hands as the officiant welcomes everyone in attendance. You read your vows first, and Deacon cries again. When he begins his vows, however, you are very glad you double-checked that your makeup wouldn’t be ruined.

“… and you’re the most incredible princess I’ve ever had the joy of meeting,” Deacon says. The people around you chuckle, and you smile as you squeeze his hand. “Being loved by you is more special than any title I could have or other life I could live. I promise to treat you like the princess you are and love you more with each breath.”

You chuckle wetly, and Lila taps your side. She passes you a tissue, which makes everyone laugh, and you thank her before you use it to dry your cheeks.

“With those vows – and tears – you will now exchange rings.”

You slide Deacon’s simple band onto his finger, then offer your hand for your matching ring. The moment you are finished, the officiant pronounces you and Deacon man and wife, then steps aside for your first kiss. Just as when you walked down the aisle, everything fades away as you kiss Deacon, your husband, for the first time.

When you step back, your friends and family are cheering, and you pull Lila into a tight hug.

“Thanks for being a princess with me,” you say.

“We’re always princesses!” she replies with a giggle.

“Kay princesses,” Deacon agrees, wrapping his arms around both of you.

[aureliqs]

Burn-Out

Pairing : Remus Lupin x f!Reader

fluff, comfort, some angst I suppose

Warnings : Burn-Out, depressive episode, anxiety, feelings of emptiness etc. Heavy topic

I want to help, to comfort and give hope to everyone who sadly had to experience (still is experiencing ) this like me <3

Content: Your boyfriend Remus decides to say something about the state you’ve been living in, as he is extremely worried about you.

Authors note: This one is a comfort story based on my own experiences, so you might experience burn out or any other mental health struggles very differently. Your experiences are valid. You deserve to rest and heal. Take breaks. Nothing is as important as your health and happiness! I know it’s hard, but it’s worth it <3 (I’m still learning that too :3)

The finals are killing you. There is no other way to describe it. No time to waste. You’ve got a study plan to use your time efficiently, and if you stick to it you might even get ahead of it too. Everything’s going according to plan. Still, you don’t really feel anything anymore. You don’t think you even really have time to feel. You’re always up in your head thinking about what to do next. Every point crossed from your to do list gives you this rush of adrenaline, only to instantly feel empty after ready to chase the next high.

Reading a romance book before bed, while giggling and slightly swinging your feet happend less and less. Even if you wanted to, there’s just no energy left at the end of the day, or any time of the day if you were honest. Besides, what’s the point of reading anything like that. It’s not really useful in any way. Entertainment isn’t helping you with the finals.

Yeah, it’s just not “useful”

That has become your main excuse if you were honest deep deep down, but you aren’t. How could you ever be? There is just no time. If it isn’t potions, it’s charm. If it isn’t charms then it’s transfiguration. There is always something.

Something to avoid thinking. Now it’s just doing. Doing what you’re supposed to do.

Piece by piece it chipped away your personality. At first it wasn’t as apparent. No one noticed, especially not you. Gradually though, you’ve become an empty shell of the person you used to be. There’s no use in these things, like reading, drawing or just having a chat with people.

Even if you wanted to chat with others, you didn’t have a lot of energy. Can’t say you haven’t tried for their sake, to not disappoint or worry anyone. Still, you’re just different.

Not yourself.

But also not anyone else.

You just became empty.

You weren’t always… but you are now.

Your friends stopped asking you to hang out, as you’ve always declined anyways. They just assume your always to busy for them. The marauders also stopped chatting up with you from time to time, since you were always liked up in homework, and no one dared to disturb you. Especially since you got very snappy most of the time.

Your boyfriend Remus was the first one to grow really worried though. Your date rate dropped slowly but surely down. The random chats about each other’s life’s declined as well. Everything is just so serious now. What hurt Remus the most though was that you stopped laughing. By Godric you even stopped smiling. It was Remus most favourite thing in the world. Seeing you happy. It just stopped. You just stopped being you.

Remus and you studied together in the library a lot. You still do that now, but even that changed. It’s barely chatting now, as you’re always so sunken into the topic you’re studying. You barely listen, and give shorter responses than ever before. After studying, you usually rush to do the next thing on your to do list.

Remus misses you.

Remus misses the actual you.

Once again, Remus and you were piled up with books in the library late at night. You were all alone, as most people would rather sleep this late. Not you, you were focused on your goals, and Remus tried supporting you. As you were scribbling down on your paper, lost in thought, Remus finally had it. He couldn’t bear it anymore. Missing you is one thing, but seeing you this miserable was another. Another thing he’s not able to tolerate.

“Y/n?” He muttered. He looked to his left, where you set next to him still lost in thought.

“Y/n?” Remus repeated. You came to your senses and looked at him, fairly confused.

“Yeah, what is it Rem?” You looked blank, waiting for a response.

Remus looked deeply into your eyes. “I am really worried about you y/n. You’re always stressed. You don’t enjoy anything anymore. You’re always tired. There’s no happiness left in you.”

This hit you like a train. You just thought to yourself after the finals everything will be alright. This is just a phase. Now, it hit you. You’re not okay. You look at Remus, frozen in anxiety. You don’t know what to do, or even say. You’re stuck in freeze.

Remus goes on “please, we can talk about everything. I can help you. I miss you so much. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You don’t laugh, by Godric you don’t even smile anymore. I’m just so worried.” The last sentence came out all wobbly, like he was choking back tears himself.

That made you realise how much your behaviours where not just impacting you, but also him and likewise your friends. Everything that made you happy you’ve chipped away yourself. It was all in favour of a “greater good”, your achievements. But was it really for the greater good? Or did you just sacrifice yourself?

Tears starting to form in your eyes. The growing feeling of sadness in your chest was growing heavy. So, so heavy. Everything you’ve repressed lately boiled up all at once. You never took time to look at your feelings once, since you could always distract yourself with more things to do. It’s like a rabbit hole. You go deeper and deeper, until you realise how incredibly deep you actually are.

Tears started streaming down your face.

You’ve felt them running down your cheeks, to the point where they even dropped down your chin and onto your clothes.

Remus eyes widened in shock. To him this reaction made it all the more serious. You were suffering silently. Drowning in this ongoing state of stress. Working day and night to keep down the pain you were feeling behind your achievements.

Remus put his arm around you, and pulled you in close. His other hand found its way behind your hand, gently pulling you into his chest.

As more tears streamed down your face, all you could produce was a wobbly” I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry…”

“Don’t worry… you’re not alone. I should have said something earlier.” Remus stroked over your back, while giving you a kiss on your head. Regrets filled Remus heads, about how far he let you go down this hole. You just can’t look into someone’s head.

“I’ve been so anxious about the finals. I thought if I do enough I can make it.” You continued to sob.

“I understand, I really do y/n. You’re not alone”

“I just feel like I need to do all of this. If I don’t, I will fail.”

“Y/n..” Remus looked deeply into your eyes. He has the most compassionate eyes you’ve ever seen. “You’re more than what you achieve. People love you for who you are. The way you speak, the way you laugh, the way you are”

Remus always had a way with words. What he said felt like it reached the depths of your heart.

“We’ve been missing you. I’ve been missing you.”

“Thank you Remus. I’ve been missing you too” you replied while a tear was rolling down your cheek.

“I love you”

You felt something. Love. Love for your boyfriend who tried to hard to help you.

“I love you too”

You forgot how it is to feel. You forgot to just be, and not plan every next thing to do. You’ve missed to live in the here and now with Remus.

“I promise I won’t let you alone with this.”

“It’s just so hard. How to I even begin to…to be less stressed.” Your voice was still shivering. You felt so fragile.

“I’m not exactly sure either, but we’ll figure it out on the way” Remus grinned at you. This smile could melt the entire North Pole, but right now it just melts your heart.

You just nodded, still processing everything that just happened.

“For starters, let’s go to sleep. No ones studying besides us right now, and to be fair we seem quite nuts to do so”, Remus said with a chuckle.

You’ve laughed. You’ve laughed again. His sarcastic remarks were always the best. Maybe you didn’t loose yourself after all.

“You’re very much right” you gave back with a slight smile.

Remus saw you smiling again. He couldn’t contain his excitement.

“See y/n, you’re smiling again”. His sweet grin broadened. “ I know we can fix this together.”

Remus kissed you on the cheek. After that, you’ve started packing up your things to go back ti your dorms.

As you are walking down the halls, you decide to ask Remus something. “Can I sleep at your dorm tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

Remus was more than happy to do so, especially since the lack of couple time was eating him alive. “Of course honey, but I warn you. James, Sirius and Peter haven’t cleaned up the room. To be fair, I haven’t really either”

You just laughed.

“I really don’t mind. I didn’t expect anything else Rem.”

You’ve both got ready, and laid down in Remus’ bed. All the other marauders were deep asleep, and to be fair very heavy sleepers. James only rolled around once, when you kicked a lamp on the floor, which gave Remus a heart attack.

As you looked at Remus in the darkness of the dorm room, you could only feel so thankful to have him in his life. Finally, you felt some of your feelings return. It’s still a long way to go but you were sure with Remus by your side, you’ll make it.

You kissed Remus, and just started at him for a second longer.

“Remus, I love you”

“I love you too, y/n”. Good night”

“Good night”

A yawn creeps it”s way up to you. After that you cuddle up to Remus. You drift away in mere minutes, and finally get the rest you deserve

Once again, take care of yourself. Take breaks. You deserve to rest <3

I hope you all enjoyed this. Leave me other writing prompts if you want to <3

[rafecamerons-national-anthem]

𝐻𝐸𝒜𝒟𝒞𝒜𝒩𝒪𝒩-𝒟𝑅𝐸𝒲 𝒮𝒯𝒜𝑅𝒦𝐸𝒴 𝒜𝒮 𝒜 𝐻𝒰𝒮𝐵𝒜𝒩𝒟

Husband!Drew believes in grand yet personal gestures. On your anniversary, he might recreate your first date, down to the little details, like the music playing in the background.

Husband!Drew loves surprising you with handwritten notes tucked into unexpected places, like your book, bag, or coat pocket, reminding you how much he loves you. Dates aren’t just about going out husband!Drew loves staying in, cooking together, and slow dancing in the kitchen to your favorite song.

Husband!Drew is the type to make mundane errands fun, pushing the cart in the grocery store like a kid or singing along to silly playlists in the car.

Husband!Drew genuinely enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just lounging around in sweatpants, binge watching your favorite shows, or playing board games.

Husband!Drew is always the first person you want to tell your secrets or vent your frustrations to because he listens without judgment and always has a calming presence.

Husband!Drew loves teasing you in the most affectionate way. He’ll poke fun at your quirks but always ends it with a cheeky grin and a reassuring, “That’s why I love you.”

Husband!Drew is the kind of husband who’d start a pillow fight out of nowhere or try to scare you playfully, just to hear your laugh.

Husband!Drew is big on inside jokes that only the two of you understand, making you laugh during serious situations with a well timed comment or look.

Husband!Drew’s family is important to him, and he loves blending his traditions with yours. Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas mornings, or casual Sunday BBQs are his happy place.

Husband!Drew is fantastic with kids, whether it’s nieces, nephews, or thinking about starting your own family one day. Husband!Drew is patient, goofy, and a natural entertainer. When it comes to your family, he’s fully involved, making an effort to connect with them and treating them like his own.

Husband!Drew is fiercely protective in a quiet, comforting way. If you’re overwhelmed, he’s quick to step in and handle things to give you a break. He always makes you feel safe, whether it’s walking you home at night, checking in during a tough day, or standing up for you in uncomfortable situations.

Husband!Drew’s the first to notice when something’s off with you and gently encourages you to share what’s on your mind.

Husband!Drew loves planning surprises, from impromptu weekend getaways to little “just because” gifts that show he’s been paying attention. He remembers every important date, anniversaries, birthdays, even the day you first met, and finds ways to make them special. If you’re having a rough time, husband!Drew’ll plan an evening tailored to your favorite things, complete with cozy blankets, your favorite snacks, and maybe a handwritten playlist.

Husband!Drew is deeply empathetic and always there to support you emotionally. He makes a point of checking in on you, asking, “How’s your heart today?”

Husband!Drew’s not afraid to share his own feelings, making your relationship a safe space for vulnerability. In tough moments, he’s steady and patient, reminding you that you’re a team and can handle anything together.

Husband!Drew keeps the relationship light hearted and full of laughter. He’ll make silly faces in serious situations just to get a smile out of you. He has a knack for coming up with weird nicknames for you, always evolving based on random inside jokes.

Husband!Drew loves making TikToks or funny videos with you, insisting on bloopers because they’re the “real gold”, but most of them never make their way out of your drafts.

Husband!Drew is your personal hype man, always encouraging you to chase your dreams. If you doubt yourself, he’s the first to remind you of your talent and potential. He pushes you just enough out of your comfort zone, knowing that you’re capable of more than you believe.

Husband!Drew celebrates your wins more than his own, insisting that your success is what makes him happiest.

Husband!Drew is thoughtful about the life you’re building together, from creating a cozy home to discussing long term dreams.

Husband!Drew talks excitedly about the places you’ll travel to, the goals you’ll achieve together, and even what kind of legacy you want to leave behind.

Husband!Drew loves small acts of service, like making you coffee in the morning or filling up your car with gas without you asking, just to make your day a little easier.

Husband!Drew is always the one to hold your hand during a scary movie, offering comfort with a gentle squeeze and a soft whisper of reassurance.

Husband!Drew still sends you sweet messages throughout the day even if he is not the best at responding to texts, just because he’s thinking of you, no matter how busy he is.

Husband!Drew is the type of person who remembers the little things, like how you take your coffee, your favorite flowers, or that one TV show you always wanted to watch but never had time for.

Husband!Drew can never resist a spontaneous dance in the living room, whether there’s music playing or not, just because he loves sharing those carefree moments with you.

Husband!Drew is a planner, always thinking ahead about future trips, activities, or projects you both want to take on, he’s excited about growing together.

Husband!Drew adores playing pranks, but always in a way that’s lighthearted and fun, ensuring that the joke is never at your expense, but more of a playful surprise.

Husband!Drew is fiercely loyal and makes sure to always check in on your well being, both physically and emotionally, ensuring you feel supported and valued every day.

Husband!Drew loves to cook, and he always makes your favorite meal with a little extra effort, knowing how much you appreciate the time he puts into it.

Husband!Drew is the type of person who’ll organize surprise date nights at home, with candles, your favorite takeout, and a good movie, making the night feel special without leaving the house.

Husband!Drew always knows how to calm you down when you’re stressed, offering his steady support and helping you organize your thoughts with a few soothing words.

Husband!Drew is the first to offer a helping hand with household chores, never needing to be asked, and often doing more than his fair share just because he wants to ease your load.

Husband!Drew is a big believer in self improvement, constantly encouraging you to take time for your own passions and hobbies, so you never lose sight of who you are as an individual.

Husband!Drew never lets you go to bed angry, always making sure that any disagreements are resolved with open communication and lots of love.

Husband!Drew can never resist calling you his "favorite person," even in front of others, making sure you know that you’re always his priority.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi! I'm a big fan of your blog and love reading all of your posts. You always have such interesting perspectives and incredibly thoughtful points to add! I'm not quite sure if you're open to answering questions like this right now, and if not, feel free to ignore! But I was wondering if you have any information about the Island of Woe and what life is like there? Like do they ever have to import or export things, do they have more there than just S.T.Y.X to keep them occupied/entertained, etc.? I was trying to figure it out myself and all that I learned was that most people live on the upper walls in the Oceanus section. Do the Shrouds live there too, or do they live within the S.T.Y.X. headquarters? And do they ever have to travel for their jobs, beyond the little mishap that happened in Book 6?

Anyways, again, totally disregard this if you don't want to answer! Thank you for even reading this. I look forward to seeing more of your posts and enjoying your writing and input!

Aaaah, thank you!! ^^ Glad you enjoy my content, whatever it may be!

The bulk of lore for the Isle/Island of Woe comes to us from 6-40 of the main story. We (comparatively) have more information about Styx and how it is run, so I had to isolate what lore is about the island itself + life on the island and what lore is about the organization.

To begin with, here is a map of the area:

Most of the island residents don’t live in Ancient City at the seabed level. Instead, people tend to live in the residential block of Oceanus, which is the outer wall which covers the island. (This is how Ortho describes it to us in game, but it’s sort of confusing what exactly he’s referring to since we don’t see land above the water; based on Epel’s dialogue, the “outer wall” may refer to the upper levels. This means that technically all of the Island of Woe is underwater.)

Ancient City refers to the seabed level of the Island of Woe: It seems to be the community that surrounds Styx HQ, which lies at the center.

The giant pillar in the middle of the city connects to Oceanus Gate, the entrance at the surface of the water, and ends in Tartarus at the other end.

Trains, elevators, and Styx-made technomantic flying vehicles called Chariots are used for transportation. (I assume that only Styx agents are allowed to use Chariots, but this isn’t made clear.)

There is an artificial sky over the isle. This is because natural light provides mental and physical benefits to humans.

Styx makes efforts to use advanced technologies to emulate life on land. This results in the Island of Woe having seasons, weather, forests, and rivers even at the bottom of the sea.

Idia’s post-OB flashback implies that there may be strong security systems in place not only in Styx HQ, but also around the entire island (since he talks about wanting to leave the island and having to disarm the security in order to achieve that; Styx is also shown to control the Oceanus Gate and therefore controls entry to and from the isle).

Going hand-in-hand with the previous bullet point, Ortho states that it’s dangerous to wander the area.

The architecture is a remainder of the Island of Woe’s olden days as part of the Kingdom of Heroes. The buildings are relics there have been well-preserved.

The entire isle used to be spoken of by the common man as like… some kind of superstition or boogeyman?? Lilia tells us that “People believed the Island of Woe would punish any wizard who abandoned their principles and went mad with power.” This is attributed to the isle’s origins as being the place where the Jupiter family sentenced the Phantoms in the Age of the Gods (a period of time in which mages were feared and the relationship between magic and blot was not yet established). Since Styx is not an organization that the general public knows about, it’s possible that the public assumed residents of the isle themselves were vigilante agents of justice against mad mages.

Idia describes the Island of Woe as "filled with the lamentations of give billion people [...] It's dark and gloomy 365 days a year." He also refers to the island as his hometown.

The Island of Woe has bugs, but different kinds than what you would see in the outside world.

To address your specific questions (and please keep in mind that these points are not directly answered in TWST and instead relies on inferencing):

Do they have to import or export things?

While the island does receive sunlight and have seasons + varied weather, I don’t think they’d be entirely self-sufficient depending on the population size and its needs. Styx seems to run the show, but I’d imagine they need to focus their efforts on research and not food production or something. This could easily be automated with tech, I guess??? But some things they just couldn’t get, even with automation. They may have to import some stuff from the outside, though I imagine there are multiple security measures in place to convolute the supply chain and to keep the location of the Island of Woe hidden.

I’m not sure about exports since the island isn’t noted to produce anything significant (other than Styx tech, which I’d imagine they want to keep confidential).

Do they have more there than just S.T.Y.X to keep them occupied/entertained, etc.?

Being that there’s an entire city down there, yes, I’d have to think that the people don’t just work all day. Idia himself is one huge example; how did he get into anime, games, idols, etc. if no entertainment exists in the isle? We even see him as a child playing his beloved Star Rogue in his post-OB flashback scene—and his childhood bedroom is also littered with other signs of his hobbies and interests. Ortho has also mentioned that their family celebrates birthdays and go on outings to parks and such. This implies to me that there are definitely recreational activities around on the isle.

Do the Shrouds live there too, or do they live within the S.T.Y.X. headquarters?

I believe the implication is that the Shrouds technically live in Styx HQ. (A researcher remarks that “Idia hasn’t come out of his room for over two years now” while the background shows the Styx interior.) I’m not sure if this is true of the entire Shroud family, but I think it would make sense if they did since it would add to their vibes of isolation and gloom.

Additionally, it’s stated that it benefits the Shrouds to reside in a blot-dense area like Styx HQ so that their hereditary curse burns through blot in their immediate surroundings rather than burning through their own magic (and potentially life force). I don’t think the Shrouds are forced to stay IN Styx HQ all the time though; they clearly leave and explore the seabed city since Ortho says their family used to go on trips like that.

Do they ever have to travel for their jobs, beyond the little mishap that happened in Book 6?

I don’t know how often travel for work occurs, but it does happen. Styx agents are deployed as needed to secure Phantoms, as well as to speak with important figures. Leona, for example, mentions seeing Ferrymen lurking at the palace of the Sunset Savanna.

[ravenstargames]

I have a self-indulgent ask because I just got back home from a surgery. 😅 How would the love interests take care of a sick or injured MC?

Oh no love! ;_; 💜 I hope everything went well and you are doing fine! Wishing you a speedy recovery from the team and I! 💜Also, sorry for taking a while—this was longer than I expected! I hope it makes you feel a little better! 💜

✦ How the LIs / ROs take care of a sick or injured MC!

✦ Amon: He's good at concealing his worry, but he'd be a lot more attentive than the usual. He would make sure the MC is feeling comfortable and is in no pain at all; he'll strike conversation, telling them about his many adventures to make them forget about whatever is going on, keeping them busy and entertained during the day so they can rest well at night. Of course, he's keeping watch while the MC sleeps.

✦ Raeya: She's a calm one. She probably knows what the MC needs before they say anything, and she'll be careful to disturb them as little as possible while still offering her presence as comfort. She would make her special tea brew for the MC, something she used to do when her siblings were little. Anyone would feel safe around Raeya while being sick or hurt, honestly; she makes it seem like she has everything under control at all times! She won't tolerate the MC being a little crybaby, though!

✦ Gael: Oooh he's a little worrywart. He'd be checking on the MC every two seconds, asking what he can do for them, if they need water, a blanket...Probably asking the same questions over and over again until the MC tells him to calm down. At the end of the day, it'd seem the MC is the one taking care of Gael instead. Also, you'd need a spatula to peel him off his loved one, because he won't leave the MC's side!

✦ Envy: They are secretly —and not so secretly— freaking out. Taking care of someone important to them is something they have not done in a long time. They'd keep a diary where he'd write down how the MC is doing every hour, just to make sure everything is going well, and to quickly react to any changes. They'll most likely memorize whatever the medics have said and would be very strict about doctor's orders. They would find any excuse to spend more time with the MC while making it seem like they are sooo annoyed to have to take care of them.

✦ Ara: You know everything will be alright with this sunshine by your side! Ara would cook the MC's favorite meals and would pamper them in every way. She would fill the MC's room with their favorite flowers, open the windows wide to let some fresh air in, give the MC their favorite sweets, and would bring over books and her painting tools to spend the afternoons painting and reading with the MC if they feel like it. She would probably come up with the craziest plans to keep the MC happy and in good spirits while recovering!

✦ Xal: He's a bit clueless at first, because usually he's the one being taken care of. He would make a list of things that make him feel better when he's sick: a good movie, model building, his favorite drink, special snacks, comfort plushies, card games, fluffy blankets...You bet the MC's room would be more crowded than usual. Xal would have a plan for each day to ensure the MC is not having a bad time and to have every hour planned to a T. Also, lots of cuddles, if allowed.

✦ Father Pride: Ah, eons as Father of All and personal father of six, Pride is going to take such good care of you. He'd be confident, unfazed, and he would make sure to pass that confidence into the MC. They are going to be fine. He'll make sure of it. His duties keep him busy most of the time, but he'd check on the MC pretty regularly and would only allow his most trusted medics to assist him in his task of taking care of his beloved. Would write short letters for the MC and leave them on the nighttable for them to find in the morning whenever he has not been able to spend the night with them.

[bonesandchalamet]

the last night - c.fisher

masterlist

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

warnings: some angst?? + some fluff

a/n: kinda hate this!!! if you have any Conrad or Jeremiah requests my inbox is open!! there are NO spoilers to season 2 or book 2!!!

the thing with Conrad was that he never said what he wanted to say. he let opportunities and moments pass instead of stepping up and saying what’s on his chest.

you spent all summer chasing after his heart. living for the little lines of hope that he would give you every other night. he had the capability of making you feel like the most important girl in the world, only to tear it down and make you feel like the smallest the next day.

the final night of summer had finally fallen under cousins beach. it was the last night for anything. you could either leave your whole heart on the line, or walk away with your tail in between your legs scared of admitting the truth.

that was the ability August had on summer romances. it only lasts for so long until that dreaded month rolled around. the one that threatens everything.

“any plans?” Jeremiah asks. he slips into the lounge chair beside you. two of you soaking up the final rays as much as you could. you didn’t care if you left looking like a lobster, summer was officially ending.

“no,” you pause for a brief second before turning to him, “you?” you ask and tilt your sunglasses down your nose. his hair just reaches above his eyes, blond highlights from the summer scatter across his head.

“something with steven. you’re not hanging out with con?”

you shrug and turn your attention back to the pool where conrad swims laps. his heads underwater, you’re sure he can’t hear a thing when you turn back to his brother, “I’ll probably just stay in and pack.”

“that’s boring.” you hear from across the pool. your head swivels in the direction of his voice. he’s drying off with a towel sitting on the edge of his chair.

“well what are you doing then?” you bite back. watching him take a swig out of his beer, you roll your eyes in disgust. you can’t help but want those lips against yours despite the bitter contents against them.

he shrugs his shoulders in response. you watch him get up from the side of the pool and saunter his way over to you and Jeremiah, “something more entertaining than rereading that book, that you’ve read no more than five pages of.”

he picks the book up by the spine tossing it into your lap, the pages spill out against your stomach.

this was another thing you hated about conrad. how his words were always cold and bitter, even if you know he didn’t mean them the blow still hurt.

you feel nervous under his gaze. the way his eyes were hard on you before he slips into the summer house and you can breathe again.

you look over at Jeremiah who shrugs his shoulders and says, “august means he goes to school. no more him ruining my parade.”

there it is again. the reminder you didn’t need to hear: it was in fact august.

—

summer with conrad was a rollercoaster. one minute, you were having the best time of your life. chasing the high of the ride. and then the next, your stomach was twisting in knots and sobbing into your pillow over the silly things he’s said.

maybe your friends back home were right. this should be the year you let go of conrad. this summer was his final chance to get it right.

except, summer was just starting to end. he never got his act right like you wanted, and you kept chasing him like you always did. god, he had the ability to make you look like a kid chasing after a balloon in the sky. so naive it’ll come down.

you’re seated in the back of Jeremiah’s car. Steven in the front seat, shayla beside you in the back. this was a now or never type of moment. you could go inside and convince conrad to join the last beach party of the year, or go alone.

“just go talk to him.” Steven turns to you in the back seat, “you’re the only one that can convince him.” his eyes are pleading for you to get out and go.

the boys would be fine without conrad, it was you they knew would regret the choice you made.

you huff out a sigh pushing open the car door and allowing it to slam behind you. you rush up those front steps and carefully place the door behind you.

you snuck up the stairs and without a thought in your mind, push open his bedroom door. lucky for you, he’s laying in bed.

“can I help you?” he crosses his arms over his crinkled blue t-shirt, eyes narrowing on yours and suddenly you’re speechless.

like all the words you wanted to say were stuck in your throat. you wanted to express how you wanted one last night with him, that the summer was over, and this was your last time together until next year. but you don’t find yourself saying that.

“there’s a beach party, did you want to go?”

you swallow the thick saliva in your throat. you suddenly feel like a little girl asking for your mom to extend your summer curfew. your fingers nervously toy with the loose ends of your shorts, your shoes anxiously tap against the creaking hard wood floor.

“I’m a little old for that.” he replies back turning to the book he’s snuck under the bed. you laugh, seeing it’s an identical copy to the one you’ve read each summer in cousins.

“its not even 8pm and you’re in bed reading? what a loser.” you scoff making him smile. it doesn’t happen often, the words you say only have the impact to make Steven or Jeremiah laugh, so this was a win. a smile was a win.

“what if I just want to spend time here with you?” he asks. the way his eyes shimmer under the nightstand light lure you in. how could you say no?

“it’s the last night of summer.” you say inching closer to the side of the his bed. you want to hang out with the people sitting in the car waiting for your arrival with him. but would you really skip the chance to have one last time alone?

his arm extends outward, finger tips grazing the back of your knee, “and?” he asks, head tilting upwards to look at you. he makes you swallow nervously. his stare turns butterflies in your stomach.

“and I want to spend it with you too.” you pull on his arm slightly, his weight too much for you to pull him upward out of bed, “so come join us will you? please?”

“alright, alright I’m coming.”

[calcifugous]

Things what I have learnt as a baby witch

As a baby witch who has recently became more spiritually connected and grown as a pagan, i want to give out advice what I have learnt over the 2 years of doing witchcraft.

1) Don’t jump straight into the deep end

Never jump into the deep end by doing spell’s straight away, witchcraft isn’t some aesthetic cutesy thing, it can be serious, jumping into spells without having no idea what you are doing can be extremely dangerous.

Ideally, you want to ease yourself into it, by doing research, yes the word research can be daunting but it will help you in the long run. Research on what witchcraft is, get an overall understanding what its about, find out the pagans holidays, pagans new year, and so much more!

If you have no idea where to start I highly recommend buying this book - ‘Wicca For Beginners’ by Frank Bawdoe

The book explains the introduction of the basic Wiccan religion including Wiccan beliefs, a brief history of Wiccan Religion, and their traditions. How to practice Wiccan Religion, the benefits of witchcraft and so much more.

2) Never buy your own tarot deck

this is very important so please take note and to remember! Never! buy your own tarot card decks, in witchcraft, it is extremely bad luck for you to buy your own tarot decks. So always either get a family member or a friend to buy it for you.

3) Connect with your spirit guide and your tarot decks!

Importantly, I personally believe its very useful and helpful to connect with your spirit guide, the more you connect with them, the more you’ll know a lot about them and who they are in general.

You can do this through connecting with your tarot decks first and getting a special bond with them, you do this by

- Keeping the tarot decks on your desk when your studying, or reading a book

- Shuffling through the decks every day, you don’t even need to do a reading or to use them, just shuffle them. This way you’re putting your energy into the cards.

- Place the tarot decks under your bed when sleeping.

- Ask your spirit guide questions, like what are the tarot cards intentions, am i being protected. Things like that.

- Doing Tarot readings

Doing these things will help you bond with your decks and your spirits guides.

4) Never touch someone else’s Tarot decks

I’m highlighting this in red because this is a massive 101 rule in witchcraft is to never touch someone else’s deck unless they have gave you consent and permission. By breaking this rule, you are also disrespecting and breaking the person who owns the deck boundaries. Everyone’s tarot deck is very personal for them, its their personal business and item, they are spiritually connected and bounded with that deck. If you touch it, not only are you putting yourself through harm. But you’re also pissing off the person’s spirit guide and disrespecting them too. So don’t do it.

5) Things don’t have to be expensive!

When people think of witchcraft and hearing about crystals, herbs and books, they think “oh god this is going to be a lot of money” but in reality you don’t have to go out your way to buy really expensive things! I’m from the UK so i buy most of my books from a store called WHSmiths or Work entertainment. Work entertainment is best for spell jars which only cost £1 or a simple crystal shop which sells those £1.50 crystals!

6) Learn how to do protection spells before doing anything!

If you feel like you are ready to do spells but don’t know where to start or what to do, practice doing protection spells, protection spells is pretty self explanatory but it will protect you from any negative energy or spirit

7) What to do if you got a negative spirit/energy

You’ll know when you have a negative energy or spirit around you as your mood and your health will change, if you feel like your mental health has been a bit down for a while and you’re constantly feeling drained and tired. That means something is draining your energy.

So what do you do?

Do an egg cleanse spell! This will help you detect if someone has set a curse, negative spell or if theres negative energy around you.

By doing so, grab a glass cup and fill it up half way with water, adding salt to it is optional but i recommend doing it as salt is really good at protection. Grab an egg, place the egg on your head, with your hand you would want to move the egg counter clock wise around your body, start from the head, and move the egg down to your arms and legs, back round to the other side of your body. Do not let the egg leave the body.

After you’re done crack the egg into the cup and wait 5 minutes, if its all clear then you’re okay! but if the egg whites starts forming like spider cobwebs with bubbles between it, it means someone has set negative energy around you or a curse. If you see a triangle base shape in the cobwebs and a bubble on top. It means you have been hex with the evil eye. If theres also red or brown spots in the yolk it also means a banishing spell or a curse spell.

So you do a return sender, if you got any spices, add a f*ck ton of it in the cup, the more spices the better as that will f*ck whoever sent you the hex up. Grab the cup and pour everything down the toilet, look away while you flush the toilet. Once its flushed look at the bubbles, less the bubbles less of the negative energy. Sometimes you have to do this more than once.

8) Your spirit guides will show you the answers in different ways

One thing I’ve learnt is your spirit guide will show you the answers in different ways, if you want to know if you are protected, there will be signs, for example I personally believe if a a white feather falls in front of you or by you or if you even see a white feather it means you’re being protected by a angel/your spirit guide. So if you see a white feather it means you are protected by them, or if you see your spirit animal or if you know a dead relatives spirit animal and it starts to show up.

Sometimes the signs will be right in front of your face, example for me is: My spirit guide warned me about people being back stabbers and to watch out. After seeing that in a reading, i had my mother who im very spiritually connected with, call me up saying she had a dream about me being stabbed and she feels like it represented me being back stabbed and warned me who i hang out with.

Then my closest friend used my tarot deck which broke my boundaries, pissed off my spirit guide so she started to get headaches, neck pains, back pains and it got to the point she had to leave. When she tried approaching me the day after that, a white feather fell right by me, seconds later, she started to feel unwell and went back inside. I suddenly felt the sense of relief and happiness, and when i said to my self everything is okay, another white feather fell and it landed on my leg. That made me personally feel that it was my spirit guide confirming me and saying yes everything will be okay.

That’s all the advice i can think of at the moment but hopefully this has helps a lot of you small baby witches! just remember, if you ever feel burnt out or you start to do witchcraft but dont have the passion or get into it but still want to, thats okay! it takes time!

9) Know what you are doing when doing spells!! And do it when you are ready!

Another thing, i know i said previously doing research is key! but please know what you are doing when doing spells especially jar spells! Don’t do what I did, I thought I was ready to do spells, I tried doing a protection spell and I ended up summoning a trickster spirit who is still attached to me and can be a little pissbaby sometimes by moving my things around. But overall he also does protect me when need be so he can be good when he wants to be.

Also if you’d like to know what books I have, i have these! (the pictures below) these have helped me over the past 2 years with my journey so I highly recommend checking them out!

Good luck and i wish you all positive energy!

[toutvatoujoursbien]

midnight thoughts (i hope i don't regret this)

Let me preface this by saying that these are just (very, very long) ramblings I’ve had in my head over the past few days and are MY opinions. I never post to Tumblr, but my level of emotional unhinged-ness right now needs an outlet so that I can process everything and feel, well, less unhinged.

I have never been this enamored with any celebrity or promo for a show like I have for this season of Bridgerton. Admittedly, I am a fan of the books and Penelope & Colin are my favorite couple. I’m going to age myself by saying that I read the series almost 20-ish years ago; past me could have never imagined I would actually get to see a Regency romance on my screen. Romances are for the girlies, and what the girlies like tends to be mocked, ridiculed, and not taken seriously - I’ve seen this time and time again across many different fandoms. I also really enjoy the tv series for being its own creative adaptation. I’ve liked many (though not all) of the changes they’ve made to the show; and I’ve liked all the little nods to the books that have been sprinkled in. Are the books or show perfect? Of course not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t love them for bringing me some entertainment and joy and escapism. I think that’s the beauty of it, I get to have the best of both worlds, so to speak. And for me personally, it’s been so fun to watch the press coverage over the past six or so months. As a fandom, I think we’ve been EXTREMELY well fed. 

Having Nicola and Luke as the leads has been a true blessing; I think/hope folks can tell how much they clearly love and understand their characters/roles. I know everyone has been talking nonstop about their chemistry and their close friendship, which I think is beautiful, truly unique and special. How can you not enjoy watching two people, who seem to genuinely like one other, talk endlessly about a project that they love and have poured so much into? And the way they have supported one another, not only during promo, but during their years of friendship? Astonishing, really. So while I am old enough to know better than to ship real people, I would’t blame anyone (myself included) if they got caught up in the whirlwind excitement and couldn’t help but wonder a sincere “What if?” (At least that was the case for me.) Isn’t that the beauty of hope and possibility and potential? Like, I knew rationally and intellectually that the likelihood of them being together was low, but damn if I didn’t feel giddy seeing their interviews, reading articles, and watching video after video.

“Oh, but it’s all PR!” they cry. Maybe, but like most of life, I don’t think it’s so simple or clear. I think there’s been a lot of nuance and perhaps some blurring of the lines during this promo tour. As long as we are respectful about it and realize that at the end of the day, the only opinions that matter in regards to their relationship are N & L’s, I don’t think some lighthearted dreaming is unheard of. We have to remember, though, that what we’re shown is only a fraction of their true selves, carefully and deliberately curated to accommodate their status as actors/celebrities/those in the public eye. 

(And yes, I know this is the internet and therefore everyone has an opinion - again, myself included. But I struggle to understand why some people think that their opinions should be deemed THE most important to the discussion or would have an impact on any type of outcome, especially in this particular scenario… I hope it’s obvious I’m referring to the very vocal people that chose to expend their energy in hateful, negative ways. Aren’t you exhausted?

However, as a longtime lurker, I have to admit it’s been absolutely fascinating reading all the different perspectives and takes on this too. I think reading other POVs and seeing people articulate points that challenge me and make me think is a good thing - again, as long as it’s all in a respectful manner. 

Also I have spent literal years curating and cultivating a social media bubble that doesn’t make me want to cry or give up on life. I don’t seek out negativity and hate - constructive criticism for a thing is a different matter. It may be ���putting blinders up,” but honestly, real life can be a shitty enough place that I would like to spend my limited time online looking at cute things and learning or reading about stuff that makes me feel less alone in the world.)

Last week, I stayed off social media to avoid Bridgerton spoilers until I could watch Part 2. I did open Twitter on Thursday to check on something that was entirely unrelated, saw the absolute meltdown of a shitstorm brewing and quickly NOPED out of it. (I was also reminded of why Twitter scares me at times. And I'm not calling it X because that is stupid.) When I finally caught up over the weekend (both with Bridgerton and… all the other stuff 😅), I felt like I was experiencing mental and emotional whiplash.

Look, ultimately, I don’t know them personally and know even less about their private lives. As an outside observer (even though, yes, I have a vested interest in them), Nicola is fucking amazing and Luke seems to be a nice, sweet guy. I think they are each others support, and it has been mentioned many times that she has helped him deal with the intensity/anxiety of being in the spotlight this season. So here are some potentially hot takes: I just think, when they’re together, it’s like he’s a different, better person. When he soaks up even a little bit of her light (sorry, I had to), I can see all the qualities in him that she is constantly gushing about. But, and again this is my take on it, I also think he has a lot of growing up to do. I don’t know much about his supposed “hot/fuck boy summer,” but it seems to me that he’s perhaps going through his own Colin phase, which he can totally do. I genuinely want to see him and Nic succeed. However, I do think he’s got to get a better handling on his media image now (this whole thing reeks of a PR nightmare, but I need to take off my comms professional hat). The way this has all played out has been, imo, a clusterfuck. There are other issues that I’m also not going to get into at the moment. 

The thing that frustrated me the most is the timing of those “leaked” photos. You’re telling me that N&L went through SIX months of a - literal - worldwide promo tour, building up hype, doing countless interviews and appearances, etc., only to have these pap pictures “captured” on the night of the Pt. 2 London premiere??? And yes, while I’m aware there were rumblings of a gf being at various events/locations, I didn’t pay much attention to it (read: my curated social media bubble, lol). And I think the lack of confirmation up to that point from Luke and his team just mades things even more tricky/messy. So when the inevitable backlash played out online, piled on top of the hate Polin seems to get from many corners of the internet (Is it ship wars? Regular trolls just trolling? Polin and/or Lukola antis? People who, for whatever reason, don’t like the actors themselves or, worse, don’t like the creative choices/decisions made by the higher-ups and therefore deem it okay to spread hate online? All of the above, most likely.), I know I felt like I had been hit by a train.

Here’s my point: I think what should have been a moment of triumph and a joyous occasion for Nic, Luke, and Bridgerton season 3, was sadly overshadowed by the aforementioned shitstorm. And that’s a damn shame. Too many cast and crew put in a lot of time, effort, and blood sweat and tears, to pull this all together. I was happy with Season 3, which perhaps I will deep dive about in another post because this one has already spiraled out of control. Were there things I wished they had included or, rather, things that could have been left out? Yes, of course. But at the end of the day, I think we got a beautiful story led by two actors who love Polin as much as we do. And I cannot wait to see them back for Season 4. Plus, seriously, those viewing numbers alone should have been mostly what people are talking about. I hope all this doesn’t take away from the overall impact of the show and season.

I think it’s okay to be disappointed by all the stuff that has come out over the last few days. I think it’s perfectly human to want/need to process your thoughts and emotions. What is NOT OKAY is sending hate to anyone, period. And I hope you don’t let all that has happened sour your enjoyment of Season 3 and/or Polin.

Lastly, if you take anything away from this long ass post, it’s that Nicola is a GODDAMN QUEEN. Anyone who says otherwise is speaking slander and we do not stand for that in this house. She has carried herself during this time with grace, charm, and poise, consistently and constantly. And she is always ready for a mega fashion moment. She must be exhausted - already on to her next film/job but also perpetually online, and even stepping up to defend her costar. I may have to do a whole separate post just gushing about her and add to all the people already singing her praises. (And as a big fuck you to all the haters.)

Geez Louise, I clearly have a lot of feelings (more than I allowed myself to believe I did…). But I would love to hear what others think! Please, I need friends with whom I can have rational (okay, maybe slightly unhinged), spirited, deep analyses and discussion of this whole thing, or anything else we might have in common!

[atelierlili]

#thgreread2024: Chapter 1

"Look at what I shot." Gale holds up a load of bread with an arrow stuck in it, and I laugh. It's real bakery bread, not the falt dense loaves we make from our grain rations.

I'm doing the reread of the Hunger Games with my lovely friends. Its one chapter a day so fingers crossed that I can keep it up!

I love Chapter 1 of the Hunger Games. There are few books that gets me hooked from the very first chapter, but Suzanne does it flawlessly. Nearly all the main themes of the series find they way into this first chapter. I don't have all the time to break it down, but I'll do what I can.

District 12, Panem and Katniss as our protagonist is already fully fleshed out. We know her main motivation is to keep Prim safe from the Reapings. We learn her greatest fear is having and loosing children, or more symbolically, hope, in a place like Panem. To want to have children is similiar to having hope for the future, of having good things. Katniss, understandably doesn't think that's realistic. Life in District 12 is not easy for Katniss. The Reapings bring her nothing but stress. That is not a future she'd want to any children of hers- which is why she's so critical of Gale when he brings the topic.

Chapter 1, Gale is rebellious- but he still holds on to hope, unlike Katniss who has mostly abandoned it. He thinks of children as a possibility in the future- in a future with Katniss- if they could manage to escape beyond the fence. A notion that Katniss (very pragmatically) finds ridiculous. His crush on her is already on full effect- he doesn't even try to hide framing their families as one and placing themselves as the parental roles. In a wink whink nudge nudge fashion. Katniss doesn't take the notion all too kindly- she shoots him down and they start a fight. Romantic melodrama aside, Gale tells us directly that Katniss does not have normal relationship with her sister Prim. Prim is very much Katniss' child even if she didn't birth Prim herself. This ties Prim directly to Katniss' biggest fear. Unfortunately, we learn at the end of the chapter that her greatest fear is realized.

The Hunger Games isn't just a romance book, but its easily the second most important theme (Fight me). Talks of marriage and children are introduced as soon as Katniss' first suitor enters the scene. Chapter 1 is also where we get to observe Katniss' and Gale relationship with any outside influence, like Peeta and the capitol. Katniss and Gale get along well, with Katniss even saying Gale is only of the only people she can truly be herself with. Despite this, she takes any notion of being in a relationship him negatively. She sees him as a brother. She attests that there is no romantic tension between them (though I think she's in a little denial here. There IS, she's just ignoring it). She says Gale can have his pick of women so long as she gets to keep him as a hunting buddy. Who knows if she's speaking from a place of denial or simply because she didn't care romantically. Gale and Katniss' relationship is beginning to blur thanks to Gale efforts to be noticed by Katniss and Katniss not shooting him down directly. Whatever it is, it's clear that Katniss is just not ready for a relationship yet. If you asked me, so long as Katniss had no hope for the future, she would not even entertain the idea of marriage and children with Gale (or anyone for that matter).

Even though, Peeta is not in this chapter, symbolically he's right here! Being his sweet smelling self in the form of bakery bread. Gale might have been Katniss' first suitor to us readers, but Suzanne has cheekily included Peeta in between them with the loaf of bread. And boy, does Katniss has a history with bread. It even has an arrow stuck in it! Arrows and Bread. Katniss and Peeta. (Well, I guess you can also attribute arrows with Gale- but I'm pretty sure that he's more of a snares kind of guy.)

Finally another tiny bit of foreshadowing I've notice this is final part of Gale and Katniss's feast. When Gale begins to mimic the capitol- he pulls out a few blackberries and together with Katniss, say "may the odds ever be in your favour" before eating the berries, foreshadowing how Katniss would do the same thing with Nightlock to tip the scales and win the Games with Peeta at her side.

Anyway, see you guys tomorrow for Chapter 2!

[mswyrr]

THG is the only pop culture story I can think of where the heroes (Katniss and Peeta) are disabled* and their happy ending doesn't require that they be "fixed" in order to be happy. IMO, part of why there's such controversy over the ending of the books in particular is that Collins wrote the pov of Katniss as a woman who is content and loves her life and her spouse and kids, but she's still very clearly mentally ill (and arguably somewhere on the spectrum). She has coping strategies and her life is good, but she will never be "normal" and Collins doesn't let the audience think that.

The one part, where she talks about how she handles the darker days, when she's really struggling, never fails to move me:

I’ll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I’m afraid it could be taken away. That’s when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I’ve seen someone do. It’s like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years. But there are much worse games to play. (Mockingjay, 332)

It's hard to express how important that is to me. Someone doesn't have to be "normal" to lead a good life. Someone doesn't have to be "normal" to have a life worth living, to give and receive love in good ways.

And, so, when people look at the villain in the prequel and say "he's just crazy, that's why he's evil. He's just a psycho, he's nuts," it's so out of place, it's so dissonant to me -- I think that's absolutely not the kind of story Collins would tell, given her prior handling of disability.

I don't think she's suddenly turned into a Victorian writer where you can know someone is evil because they're disabled because the writer thinks disabled people are warped creatures incapable of doing anything but bringing evil into the world. And the way people assert this, as if it's the pure, wholesome, most politically advanced reading of the prequel, is just - it doesn't compute for me. I don't understand how people get there.

I studied (for years) the treatment of mentally ill people in the mid-20th Century US. It was horrific. US forced sterilization and eugenics laws actually inspired N/azi Germany's forced sterilization, eugenics, and mass murder campaigns against mentally ill and disabled people. Nice, normal people have repeatedly convinced themselves that torturing and killing disabled people is how they will "purify" their society - they've done great evil in the name of rooting out the people evil is supposedly located within biologically.

Is it so hard to believe that people with normal brains do evil? Is it truly so impossible? Even in a story where the Games are about how a lot of people, the majority of whom are neurotypical, can be brought, via media presentation and entertainment techniques, into taking pleasure in their participation in evil? It's so hard to fathom that evil can't simply be located in someone being "psycho"?

Ballad already has Dr Gaul, who is evil and clearly neurodivergent. If Snow is too then the message starts to get kind of worrying? IMO, Coriolanus is more effective as a kind of “everyman” as an 18 year old - an example of the incentive structures (rewards and punishments) and propaganda that motivate “normal” people to go along. Of course, he will later become something far worse than that, someone who takes control of this thing, who uses his intimate knowledge of it and his insight into other “normal” people to make it worse, but that’s not the part of his life we see the most of. The part the book focuses on provides what I consider a powerful depiction of how ordinary people are acculturated into corrupt societies.

It's fiction so there's all kinds of interpretations that the text can support and exploring those is good. It's a stronger text because it has ambiguities and can be interpreted more than one way. But the intensity of some of the rhetoric is an unsettling contrast to what I've thought, for over a decade, Collins' themes and pov are as a writer.

*Shame on the films for removing Peeta's physical disability, though; in the books he lost a leg during their first Games

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my mom not to invite my sister on vacation with us?

(submitted 5/26/24)

I (22X) have a lot of anxiety about politics (namely the upcoming presidential election and its potential consequences regarding my access to healthcare, among many other things). It started in 2016 and then just kept getting worse and worse as the years went on. I know that if I try to go about my day as normal on election night, I’ll most likely end up obsessively refreshing polling results and worrying myself into a panic attack (or several). So, I did a lot of research and planned a week-long vacation on and a bit after election day. It’s at a nice cabin a short drive away that’s all about disconnecting from phones and technology and reconnecting with nature. I figured because everyone in my family votes absentee already, me and my mom (56F) could go up together while my dad and my oldest sister (63M and 25F) would stay home because of work obligations and take care of our pets. My mom was really enthusiastic about the idea (especially because I went on a vacation with my dad last year, and it’s been a long time since her and I have had a parent child bonding trip), and she helped me finalize the dates and pay for the cabin. I’m in college and haven’t been able to find a summer job, but I’m still trying to save money to help cover the cost of food/entertainment/gas for the trip.

When we were booking, she talked about potentially inviting my sister (24F) on vacation too, as a family bonding thing. She moved out a year and a bit ago and is living with a friend, so my mom doesn’t get to see her all that often. But I really don’t want my sister to come along. Me and her haven’t gotten along since elementary school, and now whenever she visits I’m on edge the whole time. Plus, she has a very old special needs dog that she would have to bring with her that needs constant supervision, and his energy wildly varies between “sleeps in a ball all day” and “blindly runs around screaming and peeing everywhere and getting stuck like a roomba all day”. Which again, that’s very stressful to me. In addition, whenever my sister is over at our house, she always finds a way to bring up politics and wants to talk about current events (never the good ones, only the bad ones). Thankfully we agree on the important things (even if she leans a tad more towards the center than I do), but still. The whole point of this trip is to avoid having to worry about politics, and she always finds a way to bring it up. Plus, I just genuinely think she’d go stir crazy being cooped up in a cabin with me and my mom and poor cell service. There’s not a lot to do in the surrounding area besides hiking (she’s got a heart condition), a small Main Street with some shops that’s a 15 minute drive away, and a diner. It’ll probably just be reading, board games, and cards for a week straight.

Why I think I’d be TA: my mom and her don’t spend a lot of time together, and my mom is the one paying for the vacation. Even though I think she wouldn’t like glamping with us, my sister could still want to be invited and want to come along.

Why I think I wouldn’t be TA: I don’t think my sister would like being in a cabin with me and my mom for a week straight with no TV and poor cell service. My oldest sister is also not going on vacation with us due to work obligations, so they could have some sisterly bonding time while we’re away. Plus, the entire point of the vacation is to have a few days where I don’t have to dread election results, and I know my sister is going to want to talk about election results as soon as they start coming in.

So, would I be the asshole if I asked my mom not to invite my sister on vacation with us?

[contentloadingandstuff]

Lisa, Kujou Sara and Ningguang caring for a sick S/O

A/N: Just some short and silly headcanons since I'm a little ill. The characters were picked by The Wheel. Don't ask why ALF is on the cover.

Lisa

"Don't worry, sweetie. Mommy Lisa will take very good care of you~" 

Enough said, Lisa is an expert at potion crafting. As soon as she notices you're sick, you'll have one of her most effective tinctures delivered to you in no time. It's bitter, but it will help - you'll be frolicking again in just a few days. If it helps, she'll be more than happy to spoon feed it to you! 

Nothing helps the body quite like a rich broth. Add some chicken, boil with carrots and top it off with some fresh marjoram straight from the windowsill, and viola - just like that you have yourself a tasty revitalizing soup. Lisa doesn't like eating meat, but she knows how important proteins are for recovery. 

Tending to you is a great opportunity to pamper the absolute life out of you. Tissues and medicine? Right on the spot. Feeling peckish? Here, let her feed you. Thirsty? The best tea will be brought directly to you. Sleepy? Lisa will tuck you in, or let you rest your head on her thighs if you want to. You will have everything you need and even more without having to move an inch. 

Lying in bed is important - it lets your body sleep and regain strength. Still, boredom strikes sometimes. Lisa will provide you with a few books from her personal collection. If you're too tired to read yourself, she will do it out loud. Her narration skills are really something special, and will keep you entertained for hours on end, or until you doze off in her caring arms. 

Kujou Sara

“The medic will be here shortly. Do you need tea or a cold compress?”

Although Sara isn’t well-known for her caring nature, she really does worry about you. Inazuma’s climate tends to be quite harsh, with all the frigid sea winds blowing through the islands day by day. Even a minor ailment can quickly turn into a long-term illness in these conditions, so she will convince you to stay home when the first symptoms appear.

If you work in the military, your leave will be signed by her without further issues. If you’re working in the civilian market, however, she won’t restrain from using her position to ensure your leave is approved by your boss. Because who in their right mind would argue with the Tengu General herself?

It has been some time since the conclusion of the Inazuman civil war, so most work regarding that period is far behind her. Sara’s general duties revolve mainly around paperwork - reading through inventory reports, approving funding requests and purchases as well as some officer training meetings every now and then. Thanks to that fact, she can work from home and keep an eye on you.

Sara isn’t the best of cooks, so most meals will be handled by your maids. This doesn’t mean she won’t contribute to your recovery. She will check up on you frequently, whether to see if you’re taking your medicine correctly, or just to keep you company.

Of course she will call a physician to examine you, and buy all the necessary medicine - she has an immense pile of money saved up due to her fairly modest lifestyle. 

One thing though - she’s sleeping on the couch. Sara can’t afford to get ill herself, even if it means forcing you to recover in a cold bed. Don’t you worry, she will give you more than enough affection to make up for that shortage once you’re back in full health. 

Ningguang

“Don’t worry, my dear. You will get better soon. Meanwhile, why don’t you try another cup of tea? I am sure it will help.”

Ningguang is a busy woman who has no time for sickness. But you? She’ll make sure you get the proper rest, else your weakened body will fall to another illness. There will be no work for you until you are fully recovered - just like Sara, Ningguang will not hesitate to pull a few strings to make sure you can rest without worry.

Baizhu will deliver only his best products, as money is hardly a concern for Ningguang. Every Mora used to help you get better is a Mora well-spent in her eyes. 

Although not a doctor by any means, Ningguang will use some homemade remedies as well - especially white tea with two spoonfuls of honey. The warm sugary drink will surely bring back your strength in no time… or at least lift your spirits. 

She will check up on you from time to time, yes, but will not take a day off. Liyue needs her, and there’s always money to be made. 

Ningguang will make sure to keep her distance - even if it is just a cold, it could affect her as well and make her work that much more annoying. That means no cuddles until you’re healthy - but, with the best medicine money can buy, you’ll be in her arms in no time.

Thanks for reading!