#bones I am going to put you in a jar and shake it
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lichqueenlibrarian · 16 days ago
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McCoy I think is constantly prodding and poking at Jim and Spock makes a lot of sense when you realize that he is fighting a constant battle to keep his two best friends from succumbing to melancholia. He went on a huge rant to Zar for giving up when he could still do so much with his life, that he might not be a young man but he’s certainly old enough to be talking like he’s reached the end.
McCoy is going to drag everyone along into healthy fulfilling lives out of sheer vexation. If they’re bickering and teasing one another then they haven’t given up.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months ago
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Wicked Games 13
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Warnings: non/dubcon, cheating, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Steve Rogers
Summary: you had a one night stand. Or did you?
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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“Sweetheart,” Steve’s voice sends a bristle up your neck as his apartment door opens. You crinkle the mostly empty bag of pretzels you discovered in the back of the cupboard. They’re stale. “I got you a surprise.” 
He strolls in with his usual valiant triumph. You sneer as you smell something rancid. He has a paper bag in his hands and a reusable shopping bag on his elbow. You clamp your lips tight and gag, putting your fist to your mouth. 
“Oh god,” you choke out, “oh--” You race over to the sink and wretch. “What is that?” You spew up the belly full of pretzels. “It smells like dogshit.” 
“Shwarma... Tony suggested it--” 
“Get it away from me! I asked for pickles!” You snarl and grip the counter as you puke. Your whole body shakes as you empty your guts. 
“No problem, don’t gotta be rude about it.” 
“You did this to me,” you snap between mouthfuls of bile. ��
He puts down the grocery bag and walks out with the paper one. You grumble and roll your eyes back against hot tears. 
You’re left trembling and barely standing as you cling to the edge of the granite. This is miserable. If you’re not soul-suckingly hungry, you’re sick to the bone. You close your eyes as your mind stirs along with your stomach. 
All those things he’s said. The little snippets of what could or might happen. The uncertainties. ‘Your symptoms could be worse’ or ‘we don’t know what the serum will do’. What are you? A lab rat! 
You turn on the faucet without lifting your head to rinse the vomit down the drain. You would rather have stayed with Barrett. That thought, that mistaken whim, fades away. No, you wouldn’t. You’d rather not deal with either of them. 
“I called a doctor. He’ll be by later to check on you. Make sure everything’s fine,” he affirms. As if that’s some comfort. You’d prefer if he’d just take you somewhere to get rid of the thing. “Hey, I can’t hear what you’re thinking but I can hear your heart. If you’re mad, tell me.” 
“Why do you think... I’m mad?” You pant and pause to rinse out your mouth, spitting the water carelessly at the sink. You push yourself straight and huff. “You don’t care at all. You’re not the one...” you clutch your stomach. “...suffering.” 
“I care. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” he argues. 
“Sure,” you drag your feet over to him, “where are the fucking pickles?” 
“Just...” he bends down as you do and catches your hand before you can reach into the bag. “Sit down and relax. I’ll get you whatever you need.” 
“What I need is an abortion--” 
“Shut the hell up,” he keeps a hold on your hand and yanks you up. “Don’t you say that to me again. Got it.” 
“Ow,” you wince and writhe in his grasp. “It was a fucking joke--” 
“First, it’s not funny. Second, watch your language.” 
You furrow your brow and wriggle until he lets you go. You rub your chafed skin and back up, “fine, Captain. Your order is my command.” 
You slump away and sit at the table. Being still reminds you of the small aches that are getting a bit more noticeable each time you stop. In your hips, your back, even your tits. You lean on the table with one elbow and watch him. He takes out a large jar of pickles. 
“Chocolate sauce?” You ask. 
“You didn’t say,” he goes to the drawer and grabs a fork. He brings both to you and puts them on the table. 
You pop the lid off with almost no effort. You hesitate for a moment but your hunger overtakes you. You reach in with two fingers and pluck out a thick dill. You bite into it, the juices flowing down your chin.  
“Mmmph,” you gnaw on it until it’s gone. Your cheeks are full as Steve backs up.  
“I did get chocolate. Oreos and some candy bars but you really shouldn’t eat too much of them--” 
“Give them,” you demand as you shake a hand at him. 
He sighs and drops them next to the pickles. 
“You should try something more substantial. I could do up an omelette or chicken and rice--” 
“Bland,” you dismiss his suggestion as you tear open the pack of oreos. You make a sandwich with two of the cookies and half a pickle. You shove half in your mouth and growl. 
“God...” he mutters. 
You look at him with a flash of rag. You chew and swallow and stand. 
“Now you think I’m gross, huh?” 
“No,” he watches you placidly. “I’m just concerned--” 
“You weren’t that night when you didn’t put a damn condom on. Fucking a stranger.” 
“I just told you to watch your language,” he sniffs. 
“You’re not my goddamn father. I haven’t seen him in a decade and good riddance.” You stuff the rest of the cookies and pickle into your mouth. 
“Right.” 
You tilt your head and munch rapidly, another streak of agitation rising. 
“What? You think I have daddy issues? Funny how men say that instead of thinking that they might be the issue.” 
“I didn’t say--” 
“No, you’re just standing there like—like a dumbass.” 
“Last time,” he warns. 
“Or what? What are you going to do, Steve Rogers? Can’t get me drunk this time, so maybe you’ll just hold me down and ra--” 
“Don’t,” he grabs you by a fistful of hair. He’s fast and strong. You yelp. “That’s not what happened. You wanted it. You said so.” 
“I was blacked out. I don’t remember,” you sneer through your teeth. 
“You keep saying that but I can hear your pulse pick up--” 
“Ouch. What is it, Cap? You only pick on the weak? You can’t fuck a drunk girl so now you gotta rough around a pregnant woman--” 
He lets you go and raises both hands. His blue eyes are dilated and his jaw is square and sharp. “Enough. Alright. Enough. I went out and got what you want. Sit down and eat.” 
You stare at him and rub your scalp. He sighs and drops his arms. 
“Don’t act like you had it better before,” he shakes his head and picks up the shopping bag. “Or that you can do better than this.” 
His words slice through you. It must be the hormones but self-awareness can’t take away that ache. He isn’t wrong, even if this isn’t what you want. You stagger back and sit. 
Look at you. You’re some pathetic animal eating pickles and cookies. You’re disgusting. You’re... lost. 
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justarandomsimp77 · 6 months ago
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SOUTH PARK DREAMWORLD COMIC #2
[A cold breeze ran up Butter's shoulder, instantly making him shiver awake.]
[His eyes widened at the sudden darkness, the area was almost a pitch black to him making Butter's almost believe that his eyes were still shut]
[Butters takes a deep breath, attempting to calm himself. Butters knows that he wasn't going to be calm, but it was worth a try]
[His shoulders were still tight and his muscles were tense.]
[Butter's head jerks around in confusion]
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Butters: "Golly! It sure is dark in here!"
[Butters says, his voice slightly trembling.]
[Butters tries to not sound scared, but his shaking body just stresses him more]
[Butters rubs his eyes before noticing strange gray outlines in the darkness and a faint glowing green light emitting from the shadows]
[Butters, thinking that it was something that could help, walks closer his eyes shimmering with interest]
[Butters is slightly put off by the strange things floating around]
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[Butters wasn't a fan or the floating eyes, and that strange apple and flower freaked him out]
[Butters look at the floating balls, happy faces, eyes, flowers, mushrooms, letters, teeth, table and blan rainbow before seeing the strange green glow]
[The green glow came from a strange green glow stick floating near the wooden table with the word 'Muffin' and 'JARS' engraved into the side of it]
[Butters reaches out for the glow stick, his shaky hands grasping so tightly around the glow stick his knuckles turn a pale shade of white]
[A strange feeling starts to sink into Butter's gut, and he held onto his only source of light with his life]
[Butters couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched, but he focuses on the glow stick in his hands]
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Butters: "A glow stick?"
[Butters mutters to himself, looking down at the item in his hands with curiosity]
Butters: "W-well I guess this can help."
[Butters says attempting to see the silver lining of things]
CRASH!!
[The sudden sound makes Butter's nearly have a heart attack as he yelps out in shock]
[His body starts shaking like a leaf, and his eyes were wide open. His head jerks around desperately trying to find or at least be aware of what the sound was]
[Suddenly... He saw...]
[Butters dropped the glow stick, letting it roll to the other 'persons' feet]
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Butters: "LE-!?"
[Butters starts to say as he takes a step back]
[Alas Butters was too late and before he could do anything]
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CRACK!!!
[A stick was thrown though Butter's skull, and it takes a few moments until a sudden burst of pain runs though Butter's shaking body]
[Butter's screams out in pain, his breathing slowly becoming more difficult as his throat starts to close]
[Blood pours out of Butter's skull like a river, as his limp and lifeless body tumbles down to the ground]
[What killed Butters slowly trails its metal hand down his dead bodies back, slowly peeling open the flesh with a slow wet ripping sound]
[The being rips away and tears off Butters shirt and flesh, showing the bloody tissues underneath the flesh.]
[The 'persons' hands grasp onto his spine, the small sharp parts of the bone digging into its fingers]
[It rips out Butter's back with a loud sickening sound, watching as Butter's blood gushes out]
[The being makes a satisfied smile before finishing up devouring his body]
[They walk over and their bloody Sharon finger slowly traces an X over the photo]
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???: "oNe DoWn."
[the being says as it scratches out the picture of Butters even more, making it almost impossible to make out the image of his face now]
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💘💘💝💝💖💖💗💗💓💓💞💞💕💕♥️♥️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥Thank you all so much for reading! I am so grateful for you all, and I'm so glad that you guys love these comics just as much as me! If you guys have any art tips, or anything you want to tell me do not hesitate to ask my profile or just leave a comment on this post! Thank you once again, and that was comic #2 of South Park DreamWorld! Or SPDW for short! Make sure to read the other comics, just by typing in 'South Park DreamWorld~' on the search of this app! Anyways have a lovely day!!! ❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💛💚💚🩵🩵💙💙💜💜🩷🩷🤍🤍🩶🩶
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fanaticsnail · 5 months ago
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Travel is all fun and games until you step off of that 14 hour flight for a layover and realize you've got 3 more hours after it. Makes me wanna cry 🥲.
Anyways, on to the ocs. Writing the Zoro Fic (still don't have a name for it) I've found it a bit difficult to come up with OCs who can create interesting dynamics with Kuina and Karasu. With Kuina providing such a nice parallel to a younger Zoro, it's been hard not to just copy-paste the original crew lol. I have a few basic frameworks for characters, though. As always, no names:
Little Miss Chronically Unemployed. Not exactly a bounty hunter, more of a contract job kinda gal. Well, she would be if she could get a job, that is. Kuina is the first person in a long time to throw her a proverbial bone, and now she follows her around like a lost pup. Tsukino Usagi if she was a sad drunk.
Prince of....wherever the hell. Karasu, why do you, as a man, have an arch nemesis? What are you arching, your back? Seems being a swordsman is a one-stop-shop for being a bi disaster. Prince of some island and, for lack of better word, the group's sugar daddy. He's a stupid dumb dumb, I wanna put him in a jar and shake it.
The Struggler ™️. Obligatory devil fruit user, and despite being the youngest, they are adult supervision to these idiots. I'm thinking levitation, simply for the mental image of the rest of the group arguing with eachoter, only to suddenly be flung in opposite directions. Some assembly required on this one.
Thats what I have for this fic so far, however the more I get into this fic, the more I realize I don't know. The biggest example being: I am an only child, however with the amount of cousins and clse family friends I have, I've basically experienced every spot in the eldest-middle-youngest hierarchy. I've got an idea of what to do and ehat not to do when it comes to writing Kuina and Karasu but there's a small part of me that feels like I'm going to slip up and do smth stupid. Some Kuina & Karasu interactions, for your perusal:
Karasu has eldest child syndrome. Kuina has eldest daughter syndrome. That means even if their parents were present for their whole lives, they very much raised eachother. Very close bond because of this, but would rather die than acknowledge it.
As kids, Kuina once got dangerously sick. Karasu got so worried that he threw up and their parents were stuck caring for both of them.
Karasu once convinced Kuina her onigiri was poisoned so that he could have it instead. This backfired when Kuina freaked out and threw it away for "safety ". (This is inspired by smth I did. I have no regrets 👹)
Slow-motion punches. No words, just going up to eachother and pretend punching them into the face. You can't refuse a slow-mo punch, it's illegal. You just gotta take it.
UGHHHHH, I could go on and on, but for your sake I won't. OK, byeeee.
-♡♡ lots of love
Oh my gosh, HOW MANY LAYOVERS AND FOR HOW LONG??? Here I am whining about the fact that I've got a 2.25 hour flight coming up to see my baby sister, and you're doing a full 17 with stops. Dayum!!
Coming up with titles is just the worst. If this fic was me, I'd simply call it: "The World's Greatest," or "Whatever It Takes." Maybe even going with: "My Greatest Honor" considering the greatest honor for Zoro would be to pass his title onto his daughter.
Tropes are tropes for a reason, we love them. Having Roronoa Kuina as a reflection of both Zoro and Kuina (in his youth) would be an interesting way to have him see life come full circle.
Chronically Unemployed: the all rounder. Physically strong and burly, great sense of humor, could drink Zoro into a new liver -> reason why Kuina enjoys her so much? Reminds her of what her life would look like if she was less ambitious and more carefree. If we're going Japanese for names, Junko (ジュンコ) would be cute considering her obedience to Kuina. That name literally translates to "obedience" or "pure".
The Prince: Karasu's nemesis because he envies his parentage perhaps? Could go deeper: Zoro's wife and mother of Karasu and Kuina could be an heir to a title, and gave it up before her arranged marriage to the Prince's father. She chased love, and Zoro was who she wanted. The Prince sees Karasu as the embodiment of the childhood he could've had, and the Prince's mother could've been more hands off (as many are) than Zoro's wife. The issue? Karasu is in love with him, but has to keep up the farse that he isn't because he doesn't want the prince to stop talking to him -> even if that means insults. I would give him an incredibly pretentious name like "Ludwig" or "Leopold" and have his nickname / alias "Ludo" for safety for travel.
Devil-Fruit User: Leviathan is such a cool name, I love it! Anything to do with aqua mythos and I'm like a moth to a flame. "Levi" is also a very cute nickname, but considering the fact that I went with an "L" name for the one prior, I would love to steer your attention to other aquatic mythological creatures. Neothelids, for example, would be REALLY FUN to play with in the One Piece world, and "Neo" or "Theli" would be cute for the youngest member of the crew. A Neothelid is a creature that stems from mind-flayers, growing into a beast like a Kraken or Worm, that can: levitate, use telekinesis, breathe acid, and overtake creatures minds with a mental blast. Playing with those powers would be absolutely chaos, but I love it.
I am the oldest of four, my younger three siblings and I get along extremely well. We play D&D every Saturday night as a family, and I'd do anything for them. Wasn't always like that, but that comes with having siblings close in age. Sibling dynamics are a lot like watching older cats interact with younger kittens: swatting, showing who's boss, establishing the pecking order, and then realising "Oh shit, you're a lot taller than me now. What have I done," when they grow up.
Yes to the onigiri incident between them. Absolutely happened, it's canon to me. Poisoned food, food poisoning, absolutely.
OKAY SO NOW I HAVE A HOT TAKE FOR YOUR FIC.
Ship Roles:
Captain: Kuina (Little Sister)
First Mate: Karasu (Big Brother)
Navigator: Ludo (Prince)
Chef: Neo / Theli (DF user)
Shipwright: Junko (Chronically Unemployed)
Kuina is the captain because she is assembling the team. Captain whether she wants to or not. Karasu is the first mate because they are known for taking care of their Captain. He wants to keep her safe, like the doting big brother he is. That, and his mother would kill him if anything were to happen to her.
I'm sorry it took a while for me to get back to you about it! I have been thinking on this so hard and wanted to have the words happen in the right way. Love you, ♡♡ Anon. Enjoy your time away!!
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poedameronwifey · 11 months ago
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A true home (The hobbit Fanfic)
Chapter 5
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Their outfits
_________________________________________
Third Pov
Bilbo looked at us with confusion and walked to the front door with Kat. He opened the door and saw a bald and muscular man. He looked at Bilbo and bowed.
"Dwalin at yer service ."
Kate nodded at him with a smile but Bilbo was still so confused. He quickly came to his senses and tied his robe before standing taller with the confused look still on his face.
"Bilbo Baggins, at yours. My daughter Katherine. As well as my adopted daughters Lilith and Renée"
Dwalin nodded and smiled at Kate before walking in with his usual brooding face without invitation.
"I'm sorry but do we know each other?''
Bilbo asked as Dwalin was looking around before looking back at Bilbo with an offended expression,
"No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here?"
Bilbo looked at him with as much confusion as he could muster.
"Is what down where?"
Dwalin took off his coat and threw it at Bilbo.
"Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it."
Kate tried not to laugh at her father.
"Oh of course master dwarf. Please follow me. I bet you're hungry from your journey."
Dwalin nodded and followed her to the kitchen where Renee and Lily were. They had already finished their food and washed up their plates. They heard footsteps and looked up to see Kat and Dwalin.
"Oh good evening master dwarf. Renee and Lilith at your service. You must be hungry. I'll get you some food. Please take a seat."
Renée smiled as she got him a plate while Lily showed where he could sit. Dwalin sat down and Renée brought him some fish. He thanked her and started eating. Renée just stood by Lilith and Kate.
Bilbo came into the kitchen and watched him eat, disgusted. Dwalin scarfs down all the flesh off from the fish. He drops the bones onto the plate, wiping his hands on his beard.
"Very good, this. Any more?"
"What? Oh, yes."
Bilbo passes a plate of biscuits that Lily made earlier but before he did, he placed two in his pocket. Dwalin grabs most of the biscuits and stuffs them down his mouth.
"It's just that we weren't expecting company."
Bilbo tried to explain. The doorbell rings once again. Bilbo looks up in alarm. Dwalin looked up at him.
"That'll be the door."
Bilbo opens the door once again. He finds another dwarf standing before him. The much older dwarf gives a ginger bow.
"Balin, at your service."
"Good evening."
"Yes, yes, it is. Though, I think it might rain later. Am I late?"
"Late for what?"
Renée came to the door and smiled at Balin.
"Not at all. Renée, at your service. Please come in."
Balin gave her bow and a smile before he noticed Dwalin in the hallway trying to get biscuits from the jar. Lilith offered to help him while Kate just sighed, amused at his attempts.
"Oh! Evening brother!"
Dwalin gave the jar to Lily who put it down and he looked at Balin with a smile. The two brothers approach each other.
"By my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met."
Kate tried to keep her laugh in while Renée just rolled her eyes and Lilith smirked.
"Wider, not shorter. But sharp enough for the both of us."
The two share a chuckle before banging their heads together. The girls just looked at them with shock, wondering how they did not hurt their heads as Bilbo looked on, confused.
"Doesn't that hurt? If I did that I'd lose the rest of my non-existent brain cells. The thought is making me lose brain cells already"
Renée sighed, shaking her head while Lilith, Dwalin and Balin chuckled. Classic Katherine.
Dwalin and Balin have gone into the pantry, helping themselves to ale and examining the food and the girls followed them. They knew it was better to just accept what will happen so they decided to help instead. Bilbo steps into the room.
"It's not that I don't like visitors, I like visitors as much as the next hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come visiting."
The dwarves continue to riffle through the pantry, ignoring their host. The girls knew what was going to happen but decided to let Bilbo suffer. Kate debated if she should help or not but decided not to say anything. Bilbo sheepishly pressed on.
"The thing is, I don't know any of you. Not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry."
Dwalin and Balin pause and look at Bilbo.
"Apology accepted."
The girls couldn't take it anymore and started laughing. Renée was leaning on Lilith and Kate was leaning on the wall.
"I'm sorry Papa, I just had to or else I'd explode. My God, that was fucking brilliant. You two have my respect. I haven't been able to laugh like that in years. You girls okay?"
Lilith and Kate nodded, still shaking a little with laughter.
The two dwarfs looked at them with such fondness. They were proud of themselves that they were able to make them laugh. Bilbo nodded, satisfied. Balin then handed a tankard to his brother.
"Now, fill it up, brother, don't stint!"
The doorbell rings once again. Bilbo slowly turns around, at awe with shock. He went to the door while the girls stayed,
"Okay so what's the plan? My guess is it's not just you two that's going to be here. Am I right or am I right?"
Lilith smirked at the and for a second both dwarfs thought they saw Thorin in this girl. They shook their heads and Balin explained what he had in mind. The girls took him to the dining room and they suggested moving the tables so that it was one long table.
Dwalin left for who knows what and Lilith and Kate tried to figure out how to move the tables. Renee could feel herself getting tired.
Renée's Pov
Damn, my energy is depleting. How am I supposed to last through the night if I have such little energy? This is not gonna end well. I heard footsteps so I turned around and saw Dwalin with his arm around someone who looked a lot younger. Great more dwarfs, just what I need. The young looking dwarf noticed me and grinned. He then turned and called for someone before looking back at me. Kate and Lily came to stand by me. Another dwarf came and stood by him. He also grinned at us, well more at Kat. Ooh Kate's got an admirer. I can't wait to tease her. This is gonna be so much fun.
" Fili."
"And Kili."
"At your service."
They both give a courteous bow. The girls and I just giggled.
"How long have you been rehearsing that?"
Kili grinned,
"A long time"
"Oh we can tell. I'm Renée, that's Lilith and that's Katherine but you can just call her Kate. It's a pleasure to meet you both."
We curtseyed with a smile. I looked over at Kate and her entire face was red. Ooh la la. Kate's got a crush. I mean I don't blame her.
"Gosh I can sense the sexual tension. I'm going to help Balin. You guys...don't do anything I would do. You fucking gremlins."
Lilith sighed as she walked into the dining room to talk to Blain and Dwalin. Kat and I were so confused. What sexual tension? The fuck is this girl on?
"Okay, is she high again? What the fuck is she on about? Sexual tension my non-existent ass and chest"
Kate murmured as she glared at Lily, I shivered internally. its funny how she roasted herself in the process. I turned back to Fili and Kili.
"Apologies, this one is mentally unstable (Not really). Anyway I think we should go before Lily plots our murder and I can assure you she will."
Kili grinned and winked at me, making me roll my eyes. Boys...cant live with them, can't live without them. Kate and Fili went to Lily while Kili and I stayed behind.
"Shall we, my lady?"
"Hmm we shall, good sir."
We laughed and walked to the others. Finally someone who can handle my dramatics. Thank you God. I stood next to Dwalin and slowly tuned out the conversation. I looked over at Kate and let me tell you that girl looked like a fucking tomato. I laughed inside. As the amazing Lizzo once said, IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!! I feel so proud right now.
Kates Pov
I can feel Renée teasing me. Damn me having no experience with boys. Actually, why must this boy be so hot?
I wish I was rather a lesbian instead of bisexual but no I still feel shit for boys. I could hear knocking at the door and decided to go and check on dad before he blew a fuse. I heard him ranting as I walked to the front door where he was. Dad opened the door and a bunch of dwarves fell inside, laying on each other. I rushed to help them up.
"Are you all alright?"
They all nodded and smiled at me. I noticed someone behind them. Gandlf being the tall man he was bent down so we could see his face.
Dad looked like he was ready to murder him.
"Gandalf"
"Gandalf, you're back. Come on in and be careful of your head."
I let him walk past me and closed. Oh well Let the chaos begin.
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snkts · 3 months ago
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IMPRESSED, if you please!
The sun beats down. It’s hot and ruthless, punctuated by the whine of cicadas in the air. Birds chirp in the tree branches. Somewhere in the underbrush, a rodent stirs. And here, the tranquillity is broken by the sound of metal hitting stone. It's an uneven staccato, over and over and over again. Each clink is accentuated by rustling fabric and grunts of effort. It smells of sweat and minerals and blood and leather and dirt and friction-burned skin, chewing tobacco and stale alcohol. It was a familiar smell. Reassuring, even if it wasn’t exactly a bed of roses. There’s the occasional murmur of conversation that flows around him. He doesn’t join in. He never does. Just doesn’t have a whole lot to say. 
“Morning, Logan.” Adam says. He’s an older man, tall, broad in the shoulders, with a thick beard covering his lower jaw. He usually has a smile on his face. Nice guy. Logan grunts. 
“Morning.” It’s half-mumbled, but intelligent enough that Adam nods. 
“Right spot of sunshine, you are.” He teases. Logan nods. 
“Sure am.” He replies. Adam laughs. 
“Will I see you in there?” He said, knocking his shoulder against Logan’s as he walked past. Logan shrugged and turned towards the Foreman's shack. 
“So long as you have eyes, yeah.” He quips, and Adam laughs again. Logan retrieves a mining pick from the shack and takes a moment to stare at the entrance of the mine. 
Time to get to work. 
And work he did. Finding a spot in the mine and breaking rock over and over again. It was repetitive, monotonous work. The same motion, over and over and over. It’s easy to just shut off. Easy to just think of anything else. And he does let his mind wander. He thinks about Rose, and her upcoming marriage. He thinks about how long it’s been since he’s gone hunting, and how he should do that again. He thinks about how he might need to fix the roof at home. He thinks about- 
A creaking sound. Deap and bone-shaking. What was that? 
Logan stops his work and tilts his head. He doesn't move. He hardly even breathes. To his right, Jean-Luc stops, too. 
“Logan?” He asks, slinging his pickaxe over his shoulder. “What are-” 
“Shh.” He holds up a hand. He waits. He listens. He hears the noise again. It’s louder now. He furrowed his brow, and– 
“We have to leave.” He says suddenly.
“What-?” Jean-Luc flinches back. Logan grabbed his arm. 
“Move, now!” He barks. He yanks Jean-Luc after him, already putting boots to earth. “All of you! Get back!” his voice echoes off the cave walls. It's sudden and jarring enough that everyone stops. Logan growls. 
“I said go!” His words are accompanied by another baritone rumble. This time, the others heard it too. 
They move. Most of them run towards him, and that's good. Some run in the other direction. He doesn’t know what happens to most of them. The wet, snapping crunch tells him what happened to some of them. Poor bastards. 
“Ed!” That was Adam. Edward had been his cousin. Emphasis on the ‘had been’. Adam hadn’t seemed to have figured that part out yet. He raced towards the rubble, pulse racing, eyes wild. “Ed, Edward!” 
“Hey!” Logan lets Jean-Luc and dives for Adam. “Get away from there!” It’s not a struggle to move Adam back. Logan has always been stronger. (He's stronger than everyone here. That’s just what comes from living on the frontier, instead of in towns like this. He’d be loathe to call these men soft, but–) 
“Ed’s under there!” Adam snaps back. “I’m not leaving him, Logan! I can’t” He tugs free and moves to the rocks again. “He’s family!” 
“He’s dead!” Logan’s run out of patience. Every second they spend in this cave is another second they haven’t spent getting out. Wasted air. Wasted time. Wasted energy. And pulling at those rocks might cause another cave in. 
Then, they’d all be screwed. 
“You don’t know that!” Adam shouted. He was frantic. Eyes wild, pulse elevated. So different from the jovial man he usually was. He looked like an animal. Pulling at the rubble like a trapped fox gnaws at its leg. Both equally desperate, and both equally futile. Both equally doomed.
“Like hell, I don’t!” He says back. “Noone survives that! We have to move!” He turns back to Jean-Luc. “Get everyone else rounded up. I’ll handle him.” 
“Uh- right.” Jean-Luc blinked and hesitated. He blinked again and the situation caught up to him. “Right!” He turned and started speaking in a fast mix of French and English - Franglais - to the rest of the surviving miners. Some of them yelled back. Some of them agreed with him readily. Some of them just stood there. The entire cavern reeked of fear and blood and uncertainty. He had to tune them out. Adam losing his mind would only make this worse. 
“C’mon, Adam.” He says in a low voice. “We gotta go.” Adam is trying to pull at a rock. He strains, grunts, rolls the rock off the pile. Logan growls. One rock is fine, sure. It doesn’t do anything. It’s a fucking rock. The problem is, the cave in is made of a lot of fucking rocks. Each one works to hold up all the others. The more they were pulled at, the more likely it was that they were gonna start another collapse. 
“Eddie…” Adam said quietly. “C’mon, Eddie. We gotta get to work.” Ah, shit. He was out of it. That wasn’t good. Logan sighed and rocked back on his heels, resting his elbows on his knees. 
“Okay.” He says to himself. “Sorry, Adam.” He wasn't. He tears back and slaps Adam across the face. Not full-force, didn't wanna kill him, but hard enough it echoed. Adam’s head snapped back. He jerked backwards and staggered. Oh, whoops. Maybe that was too hard. Oh well. 
“Good lord, Logan!” That was Peter. Logan rolls his eyes and focuses once again on Adam. 
“Snap out of it.” He barked. Adam blinked, stared, blinked again, shook his head, then swung a fist of his own. He missed.
Widely. 
It wasn’t his fault. It was dark, and he was hysteric, but he missed by a longshot and Logan snarled. Irritation spiked white hot in the back of his mind and it was an effort to reel it back in. 
“I said, snap out of it!” He grabs Adam by the lapels and shoved him back. “You’re gonna get us all killed!” 
“Like Eddie?!” Adam snapped back. Logan groaned. 
“Yes, like fucking Eddie!” He said. “Ed’s gone, Adam! He’s dead! Dead as dirt! We can't do anything for him now, but the rest of us are still drawing breath! You wanna keep it that way? You come with us!” He doesn’t wait for a response. He just leaves. 
“Logan!” That’s Trout- well, Michael, but Trout to the boys. “Where are you going?” 
“I told you.” Logan huffs, shouldering his way past the gathered men into the darkness. “I’m getting out of here. You either come with me, or you can die here.” He got all of three steps before Trout grabbed at his arm. 
“Go where?” He asked, words slurring through his missing teeth. “Deeper into the mine? You’re crazy!” Logan growled again.
“You think they're gonna dig us out?” He says without stopping, tugging his arm free. “All the way down here? We don’t know how much of the tunnel fell in. They won’t bother. Might send someone to tell the Missus if you're lucky.” He steps into the darkness and stops. He sighs.  
“Listen. I can’t promise that I’ll get any of you out. But your chances with me are a hell of a lot better than if you just sit around and wait to die.” 
“I’m coming with you.” Jean-Luc says. He’s got one of the other men hanging on his shoulder - probably injured in the chaos. He was still alert, though. … One of the new guys. What did they call him? Stumps? Stumpy? Something like that. He’d been a logger before he came to the mines. He squinted a lot when he looked at things. Weird person. Not bad, just weird. 
“‘M comin’ too.” Stumpy rasped. “Don’t feel like rottin’ here.” There were a few more scattered murmurs of agreement. Logan didn’t wait to see who they were. They were already burning precious oil. There's a collection of footsteps behind him as he walks. Some more whispers. They echo off the walls of the mine. It’s loud. It’s annoying. Logan keeps a scowl on his face as he walks. He doesn’t have any direction at first. He’s mostly just guessing. Going where his feet take him. And then he stops again. … Something smells different. Someone bumps into his back, and he barely notices. He narrows his eyes and sniffs the air once, twice… Three times. Yeah, it’s faint, but it’s there. Wind currents - already weird enough - and, distantly, the scent of growing things. Plants. 
Outside. 
“What’re you-” 
“This way.” Logan cuts off the chatter behind him. “Stay close.” He starts moving again. 
“The hell was that?” Stumpy rasped. “What do you mean, this way?” A few more voices joined the dissent. Logan growled. They didn't have time for this. He wanted out. Out of here. Away from these people. In the fresh air. Back home with Smitty and Rose. Just anywhere but trapped in this fucking mine. 
“Any of you lot hunters?” He asked, turning around. A beat of silence. “That's what I thought.” 
“I don't like this.” Someone in the back muttered. Logan could smell their anxiety, and it mingled with the scent of freedom in a way that curled his lip. “Feels like we’re walking in circles.” Logan did his best to ignore them. They're not helping the situation and he's tired of yelling in here - the echoes make his head hurt. 
“What do you think?” More murmurs. Logan swallowed a growl. 
“Adam?” Someone - Peter, he thinks - asks. Adam doesn’t answer. 
“You can find your own way if you want.” Logan snaps. “If you’re following me, we’re turning left.” And he does. He’s followed by most of the footsteps. After some hesitation and more muttering, the rest come too. 
“Logan.” Jean-Luc had been quiet most of this time, and finally spoke up. “Do you really know where you're going?” Logan grunted. 
“You too?” He asked. He heard Jean-Luc shake his head. 
“No, no, not like that.” He protested. “It’s just… Our lantern is running very low.” Logan listened with his head cocked a second longer, then smirked. Perfect timing. 
“Can I see it for a moment?” He asked, holding out his hand. Jean-Luc handed the lantern over. Logan nodded his thanks and blew the flame out. The tunnels filled with surprised shouts and loud protests that quickly fizzled out.
“See?” His features are still visible in the dim light, and he’s not hiding how smug he is. “Look up; there’s our way out.” They all look up. There’s a few beats of silence. 
“The boy’s gone mad.” Trout mutters. “We’re going to die.”
“There's no way we can fit through there.” Peter agreed. “Please tell me you're joking.” 
“That's not it.” Logan began, but they weren't listening. 
“We’re doomed.” Stumpy slurred. “We’re dying here.” 
“You’re not gonna-” Logan tries again. 
“I knew it.” Logan didn’t care who that was. It didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered is they weren’t listening–  “Shoulda stayed back at the-”
“That’s enough.” It’s not Logan who says that, but it is Logan who’s so surprised he doesn’t protest. He blinks as Adam shoves forward, still haggard and with a bruise blooming dark across his jaw, but more coherent than he had been in a while. “You boys gotta hold your tongue. That attitude doesn’t help anyone.” He turns to Logan, who nods his gratitude. “What are you thinking?” 
“The soil and rocks are loose here.” Logan wasn't about to waste the time he'd been given by stalling. “Probably got knocked around in whatever tremor caused the cave in. It won’t be hard to push ‘em aside and make an exit - even if it's just enough for some of the smaller ones to slip out and come back with powder. But I don't think that’ll be a problem.” Another moment of silence. 
“Bad day to eat that extra lunch, Trout.” Peter muttered. 
“Shut your trap, Petey.” Trout sulks. 
“Sounds an awful lot like yappin’, and not a lot like digging.” Logan glared, turning back to their potential exit route. 
“You heard him.” Adam says, and Jean-Luc nods. 
“Let’s get out of here.” 
And they did. It took over an hour of digging, manoeuvring, clambering over one another, but eventually, they all made it up onto the outer surface of the mine. They climbed and stumbled and fell, exhausted, back to better ground. And they were part way back to the town when someone ahead yelled ‘there!’, and then there were footsteps and Logan suddenly had Smitty’s hands on his shoulders as a fresh group of men from town were yelling and shouting and cursing their surprise. 
“Holy God, boy,” Smitty was saying, “I thought you were dead!” 
“We would’ve been.” Another hand on his shoulder and Logan looked up to exchange a weary smile with Adam. “If it weren’t for our Wolverine.”
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lacheri · 4 years ago
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Okay so... you might not even take requests but I’ll give this a shot anyway bc I love everything you write. I fucked up at work big time today and I feel tremendously anxious and guilty. Which made me think... Levi scenario with gf reader messing up on the field? I know he’d prob be harsh af at first but maybe... some fluff in the end? ): only if you want ofc.
hi nonnie! sorry for taking a few days to write this! but I hope u like it <3 (sorry to hear about your bad day btw ):)
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accidents and apologies
pairing: dom!Levi x sub!fem bodied reader
content: canonverse, impact play, mild choking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex/creampie, oral (f receiving), some humiliation/degrading, reader is clumsy and Levi is mean, minors DNI
wc: 3.2k
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Fat tears sat in thick clusters on the brim of your lash line, a hiccupping sob racking your body. You were as good as dead, having possibly made the biggest fuck up of your military career thus far. Titans seemed like ants in comparison, the fly that buzzes by your ear that irritates you to no end. Levi’s odm gear sat in pieces on the floor, and somehow this loomed over you like the Colossal titan, maybe even larger.
The polish container sat forgotten on your captain’s desk, the wipe slipping from your trembling hands. Your bottom lip quivered, your lungs filling with air quickly as you slumped to the floor next to the shattered metal. Your off duty position of being Levi’s assistant was practically over, it had barely even begun. You had begged for this job for weeks now, only a few days into being his helping hand, you reflected on how poorly of a job you’d done.
It wasn’t enough you had gotten Levi’s tea wrong this morning, adding sugar to the steaming mug, thinking he’d like a change in taste. He didn’t, immediately spitting the liquid out, cursing you into guilt on the spot. To try to make it up to the ravenette, while he was on his lunch, you sat at his desk and began to organize his paperwork by date of importance. You felt pride as you finished with the three piles of stacks, putting fresh ink in his pot for his quill. However, Levi was horribly furious to see what your regret had manifested into. How were you supposed to know he liked his documents organized by date of assignment, not what was most important?
This was the cherry on top, Levi leaving for dinner, mentioning that his gear did need some polishing. Surely, you wouldn’t fuck this up, he thought as he closed the door to his office behind him. How wrong the man had been though. Within minutes, your fingers became slippery, losing your grip on the cold metal as watched in horror as it clattered to the floor, breaking on impact. It didn’t make much sense, how could it have broken? Wasn’t the gear meant to outlast a titan’s grip? Especially Levi’s trusty gear, you couldn’t fathom how his gear was now laying in pieces on the floor.
You sucked back your sob as you heard the creek of the door, your heart falling straight down to the pit of your stomach. Of course Levi would be back before you recite your apology a thousand times over in your head. You heard the thud of his boots hit the floor as he walked over, seemingly calm.
“Oi, what are you doing on the floor?” he barked out, you could feel his presence looming from behind you.
You turned your head up, his face blurry from the rush of tears in your eyes, “Sir, I am so sorry.”
His grey eyes flickered in front of you, finally taking notice of his broken gear. His lips twitched in a deep frown as he sucked in air through his nostrils harshly.
“Get up, cadet,” Levi spoked venomously, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
You hurried to your feet clumsily, trying your hardest to quell your cries from your throat. You faced him, head downturned, attempting to steady your racing heart rate and the tremors in your bones. Whatever control you thought you had slipped from your grasp the second your captain’s lips parted.
“Never in my life have I met someone as insolent as you,” the harshness of his words kept your eyes on his boots, fresh teardrops rolling down your cheeks. Levi was not going to speak to the crown of your head though, and his hand gripped your chin to force your eyes up, looking directly into his own. “You’re going to look at me while I talk to you, understood?”
You nodded, but this was not what Levi was searching for, “Your words, cadet.”
“Yes, sir,” it came out of your mouth as a squeak.
“You want to explain to me why my odm gear is broken?”
“It slipped,” you hiccupped, violently shaking under his fierce glare. “I couldn’t catch it in time. Captain, I’m so sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” he bemused darkly in disbelief. “This is the third time today you’ve fucked something up, and you’re just sorry?”
“I don’t know what else to say,” you were on the verge of hyperventilating as you stuttered your words out.
“Well, now you owe me new gear, and you’re going to personally pay for the expense,” Levi’s hand left your face as he backed away from you, sitting down at his desk.
You looked on in confusion, “Sir, I don’t have any money?”
“Then I guess you’re fired,” Levi tilted his head back as if bored now with the conversation. “You’re relieved of your military duties as well. We can’t afford to have someone as brainless as you in the Scouts.”
“Captain, please,” you raised your voice, arms wrapping around yourself to contain your shaking.
Levi’s eyes darkened, leaning forward to press his elbows on his desk as he leaned his head onto his intertwined fists, “Leave my office, now.”
This couldn’t be happening. You had no home to return to, having left it behind long before you joined the Training Corps. This was your life, your purpose, your friends were here. You finally felt like you had a place in the world here in the Scouts.
“I’ll do whatever I have to!” you begged, not moving a muscle. “Whatever I can do to stay!”
“Are you deaf or just an idiot?” Levi pushed onto his feet, striding over to stand right in your face as he spat. “Leave my fucking office, that’s an order!”
Your bottom lip trembled, and you felt so fucking pathetic but couldn’t stop yourself from one last attempt, “Please, sir. Don’t kick me out, please let me make it up somehow.”
Your brain took a moment to catch up with what had just happened as you were suddenly staring down at the wooden notches of Levi’s desk. He had grabbed your wrists in a fierce swiftness, pushing you face down, his hands now positioned against your spine to keep you in place. His right hand reached around to fumble with your belt, and your heart began to race for other reasons.
“Captain?” you stuttered, feeling him begin to pull off the belts stationed on your thighs.
“You think you can just beg me in that voice, looking like that, and expect me not to lose control?” his voice was thick with anger, but instead of fear, it tickled bouts of arousal in your lower stomach. “Answer me.”
“No?” it came out as a question, you pushed your thighs together as you felt a pulse run through your core as his fingers tickled the exposed skin of your lower stomach. “Sir, I’m confused, what’re doing?”
“Like you have no idea what you do to me,” Levi chuckled without humor. “You begged me to be my assistant even though you knew you weren’t going to be a good one. You think I wouldn’t notice, your little crush on me?”
It was true, so entirely true. Levi had been the object of your affection for such a long time now, taking every opportunity to get as close to the man as possible. If you were being honest with yourself, this fantasy of being bent over his desk was a constant distraction in your mind. He was right, you were shit at cleaning, you were probably the most clumsy person you knew, you really had no qualifications to be Levi’s aide, yet you still asked for the position.
“Then why’d you hire me, Captain?” the bratty words left your lips as it dawned on you, Levi had found you appealing regardless of your lack of qualities.
With a quick motion, your pants and panties were bunched around your knees, Levi’s palm meeting the now exposed skin of your cheek in a caress, “The same reason you’re fucking soaked right now, cadet.”
You stayed in position as Levi brought his other hand to your opposite ass cheek, fingers kneading the fat as he spread you open to his hungry view. He was right, you were dripping. His pointer finger ran down the seam of your ass, laying a soft touch to your hole, watching it flutter in excitement. He couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face, removing his touch entirely.
You whined, pushing your bottom closer to Levi’s hands, desperate for his touch. Your hips were slammed against the edge of his desk, his fingers digging firmly into the back of your thighs, pushing your legs back together. You felt a jarring sting on your backside, yelping in response as you could make out the distinct imprint of each of his fingers.
“You want to show me you’re really sorry?” Levi’s voice was low and raspy as he soothed his palm over the reddened mark he had made. “Tell me after every slap.”
You were able to brace yourself this time as you felt the strike of his hand once more on your opposite cheek, unable to contain your moans at the contact. You squirmed as you felt removal of Levi’s touch leave you, only to bite down on your tongue harshly as he swatted the back of your thighs much harder than he had on your ass.
“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he spoke ruthlessly as another slap hit your thighs.
“I’m sorry!” you cried, gasping for air from the impact.
“Again,” his hand smacked the fat of your ass again, his other hand smoothing over the harsh red blotches against your thighs in an attempt to soothe the pain.
“‘M sorry!” you were whining, knuckles white from gripping the opposite edge of the desk as you arched your ass up into his hold. Part of you was genuinely shocked over how much you were enjoying this, thoroughly aroused mentally and physically.
Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front him. The handprints scattered across your lower half had his cock springing to life, hard and painfully erect. His hands traveled down to your pussy lips, using his thumbs to spread you open. Your hole was drooling, Levi let out a deep groan at the sight. He couldn’t stop himself, he had to have a taste.
You let out a sputtered moan as you felt the tip of your captain’s tongue lick a stripe from your hole to your clit. You pushed your hips further into his touch, thankful he resisted in shoving you back into the edge of the desk this time. His fingers held you open and apart, his taste buds rolling circles into your clit before returning back to your flitting opening, shoving his tongue in your walls. You could feel it fold in half, almost in a cupping motion as he bobbed his head, lapping as much as he could.
“Oh my God,” you whined, thrusting a hand behind you to grasp at his hair. His palms circled to the fronts of your thighs, digging his fingers into the fat as he pulled you somehow closer as he buried his face further into your dripping heat.
You were seeing stars, in between the mix of the pain and pleasure, your brain was completely empty. Levi’s right hand left your left thigh for a moment, coming back with a softer slap, inching his fingers to your center. His pointer finger swirled your clit relentlessly, and your breathing hitched as you were brought to even higher heights than before. His thumb joined not long after, pinching and pulling at your bud as you yelped.
You could feel the beginnings of your impending orgasm as Levi twisted and lapped your walls. The burning churn in your lower stomach became almost unbearable as Levi’s fingers worked faster at your bundle of nerves, full of purpose and intentions. Levi could feel the sudden change, your pussy clenching tighter and tight around his wet muscle. Your arousal was thicker, almost muskier as he inhaled through his nose, and Levi could swear he could drink from your core as if you were the finest of wines.
At the first blinding rush of pleasure, your body preparing itself for the intense promise of release, the ravenette removed all touch. You were gasping for air, your entire body’s nerves tingling uncomfortably. You were aching, desperate for anything.
“Look at you,” the return of Levi’s palm slapping your ass was welcomed with a smile on your face, thankful for any form of touch. “Falling apart that easy?”
You mumbled out a 'sorry', remembering his earlier warning. Apparently this was the word Levi was searching for, spinning you around and attaching his grip to your hips, slamming your sore ass on his desk, shoving his paperwork to the floor. Your eyes widened dramatically, seeing Levi’s cock fully exposed out of the zipper of his trousers. He was thick, his tip red and angry as he moved his fist over his length, a quiet groan leaving his parted lips as he relieved some of his own pent up arousal.
“Open,” he demanded, removing his hand from his dick, extending his palm to your pouty lips. You complied, letting your mouth loll open as Levi’s fingers pressed against your tongue, rolling them around to coat his digits.
He pulled them out with a pop from your lips, returning his now dripping hand to his erection, covering the entire member in your saliva. He gripped the backs of your knees after he deemed himself properly lubed up, dragging you right to edge as he positioned himself.
His grey eyes flickered up, fiery and full of lust, his voice hoarse, “You ready?”
“Yes,” you mewled, your fingers wrapping around the edge of the wood to steady yourself.
Without a moment of hesitation, Levi held your legs up as he slid his fat tip along the slick of your folds. It was so wet, so sloppy, you couldn’t contain the whimper leaving your lips as he pressed into your sopping hole. You could’ve sworn you felt your soul attempt to leave your body as he slid in, resting his tip right against your sweet spot once he was fully sheathed, your eyes rolling back into your skull as the mind blowing pleasure. He hadn’t completed a full thrust before you were begging for more.
“Please, please, more,” you managed out in between gasps, Levi rolling his hips backwards.
“You want more?” he chided, ramming himself so hard, the two of you bounced from the impact. You nodded, unable to voice a single word, drool threatening to escape your lips. His fist left the comfort of your bent knees, coming up to squish your cheeks together, a dribble of spit glistening against your pout, “You’ll answer me when I ask you a question, brat.”
“Yes! More!” you strangled out, muffled from his grip on your face. He let go, placing a very soft pat to your cheekbone, almost as a reward.
“Atta’ girl,” Levi’s gaze turned dark as his eyes traveled from your eyes to the column of your neck. How pretty would you look with his fist wrapped around your throat?
The thought was threateningly persuasive as Levi found himself doing just that, squeezing the sides of your neck as he began to piston his cock between your folds. The sounds of slapping skin and your pussy squelching had you panting loudly, Levi’s fingers pressing harder into the sides of your throat. It felt so good, good wasn’t even the word to describe it. In fact, there weren’t any words in your brain at all, too consumed by the visuals of the ravenette plowing hard into you.
His hand left your throat upon seeing your eyes begin to flutter, his concern for your ability to breathe over taking his lust. Instead, he circled both his arms under your back, bringing you up into a folder position against his chest. He placed open mouth kisses along the curve of your shoulder, licking and sucking at any skin he could reach. Your ankles hooked around his waist, and you couldn’t hold yourself back from slipping a hand to your aching clit.
“Kiss me,” you pleaded into Levi’s neck as your middle finger rubbed hard at your clit, your thick slick coating the pad. You got curious, letting your hand trail further down, exploring the motion of his cock pummeling into you.
“Put your hands on my back, and maybe I will,” he growled out, displeased that he wasn’t the one bringing you total and complete pleasure.
You followed his orders with speed, his head navigated out of the crook of your neck, capturing your lips with a hasty passion. He tasted sweetly sour, the lingerings of your essence resting in the crevices of his lips, but still, you couldn’t get enough of his kiss. When his hand finally left the middle of your spine, and began to travel down to your center, you could feel the bubbles of climax igniting back in your stomach.
“Levi,” you moaned into his mouth as his fingers moved at lightning speed against your nerves, timed nearly perfectly with the pattern of his thunderous thrusts. The desk was squeaking loudly against the floor as he continued to pound into animalistically, moving it slightly with every move.
“Fuck, you’re so tight, gonna’ cum,” you swallowed his words as he somehow sped up his movements, driving you straight to your climax.
You couldn’t even warn him, you barely had time to realize you were cumming yourself. It almost hurt how tightly you had clenched his cock as the pleasure nearly blinded you, unable to hold back swears and moans. Levi kissed you harder, and upon feeling your contractions swallowing him whole, your plush walls pulling his tip right up against your cervix, his hips staggered and his knees buckled.
Levi’s brain went blank as his orgasm was ripped from him, “Fuck, fuck!”
Levi should’ve felt embarrassed at the noises that left his mouth, whimpers and soft moans exiting his throat as he came hard. It was almost too much, the feeling of your wet heat wrapping around his most intimate part, the closeness of your bodies, although still fairly clothed, had his heart hammering in his ears.
When you came down from your highs, all you could was stare at each other in astonishment, breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. He rested his sweaty forehead against yours, fluttering his eyelashes shut as he kissed you gently. You let out a sleepy giggle, your body entirely spent. His hand finally left the sensitive skin of your clit, wrapping your fingers around the back of your head as his kiss deepened.
When he finally slid his softened length out of the depths of your pussy, you were hissing at the fluttering of soreness intruding your pelvis. Levi shot you an apologetic look, kissing your forehead.
“Does this mean I can still be your assistant?” you mumbled, a small smile on your face as Levi reached down to pull his pants up.
His head tilted back as an uncharacteristic laugh bubbled out, flashing you a mischievous smile, “Get yourself cleaned up, and meet me back in my office. I still don’t believe you’re actually sorry.”
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LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.
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kayxleeee · 4 years ago
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Tony Stark: Are We Fighting?(Tony x Reader)
Tony Stark: Are We Fighting?(Tony x Reader)
Warning: Sexual implying if you squint.  Tony being cute and you being mad at him for a second.
A/N: Y’all this is my favorite, I love Tony fluff.
Summary: Tony’s in deep water after you notice the “head of security” watching your every move for an entire week straight. The only problem is, it’s date night, and can you really stay mad at someone with that face? 
Word Count: 2k+
*NOT MY GIF* Don’t copy my work !
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The aroma of tomato sauce and Italian herbs wafted the air around you immediately as you swung the large front door open, walking in. Tonight was date night, you were starving, but you had a serious bone to pick with the conniving genius. You kick your heels off and make your way through the foyer greeted by dimmed lights, a candle lit living room, soft romantic music playing, and an excessive amount of rose peddles leading up the grand staircase.
Nice touch Stark.
You look at it all in awe, but try to snap out of it, because you meant business tonight.
��Tony?!” You call out wondering where he was.
“In here.” He says peaking his head through the kitchen entry way, wiping his hands dry on a dish towel. “You look ravishing.” He says as he makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist giving you a quick hug and kiss on your forehead. “This isn’t too much is it?”
This was probably the best one yet. You were delighted at his efforts to make date nights memorable, especially since you hardly saw him. He had either been busy being an avenger or down in his lab working his life away. You were also very busy yourself running Stark Industries. Between the meetings and work related calls, it was a very rare occasion when you and Tony could just enjoy each others company. So this was when weekly date nights were born; Just a time to catch up and be together and have unadulterated quality time. You sigh taking it all in. Tony always does them well, especially when he is trying to make up for something. The dimmed lights, roses, music, candles, even his cologne— god, did his cologne smell good, intoxicating even. You could swoon right then and there the atmosphere was the definition of romantic and relaxing and here you are ready to uproar it all.
Damn, right.
“Told you date night would be extraordinary tonight.” He smirks taking your silence as a sign that you were pleased, while wiggling his eyebrows up and down. “Be back in a sec, get comfy.” He says giving you a wink before turning away.
He makes his way back into the kitchen to finish up whatever he had been doing previous and you follow him. He turns around and gives you a weird look, scrunching his face as he sees you following behind him. Those dazzling brown eyes weren’t going to get you this time, you were still mad— Maybe not as mad as you were before coming through that front door, but still upset enough to confront the issue right now.
“So something interesting happened to me today.” You say setting your purse on the kitchen counter as Tony strategically plates the pasta he made.
“Oh yeah?” He says maneuvering through the kitchen. “And what might that be kitten?” After he’s done, he turns to you popping an olive into his mouth, as he leans against the counter behind, ready listen attentively.
“Well I was ya know working my little ass off, minding my business… Ya know as I do every single day. When I noticed a very attentive Happy Hogan, watching my every move.” You say eyeing him suspiciously as he smiled innocently. “I thought to myself, now I’ve been seeing Happy in all sorts of wacky places this week, why would he do something like that?”
“I donno, why babe?” He says dusting his hands together for no particular reason looking everywhere else, but your face.
“Mmmh- maybe he’s just being his old paranoid, overbearing self this week. Watching my every move for no apparent reason.” You say testily, you already know Stark put him up to it. 
“Happy is very dedicated to his new position. Didn’t you hear? He’s head of security, babe. He’s gotta be eyes and ears.” He sighs, now moving from his leaning position to begin pouring two glasses of bubbly. “That’s our Happy for ya."
Of course you heard, and of course Tony was the one who appointed him, and of course Stark Industries did not need that.
“Oh jeez golly! Eyes and ears on little ol me?” You say in a fake sarcastic souther bell accent. 
He raises his eyebrows, and gives you a well justified laugh, because that accent was horrendous.
“Did you send happy to spy on me or what Tony?” You say getting to the point.
“No.” He says shaking his head from side to side frantically like a child who’s just got caught stealing from the cookie jar. “Nope, I don’t recall.”
“You don’t recall?” You scoff. “It’s a very simple thing to remember doing Tony. Did you say oh Happy please spy on my faithful, loyal, beautiful, loving, girlfriend?”
“Um— are we fighting?” We're not fighting are we?” He sighs genuinely unsure.
You didn’t want to fight or argue either, but he was getting on your nerves beating around the bush. You already knew he did it, you just needed to know why.
“Sure, we aren’t fighting Tony.” You say annoyance booming through, hoping he would just come out with it. He was definitely pushing your buttons. “Now did you send him?” 
“ I don’t recall.” He says again now putting on a fake ‘thinking’ face.
“You don’t recall asking him?! Okay, well I am sure if we give him a call that might jog your little memory.” You grab your phone out of your purse quickly dialing his number. “Mmmh I think you’ve been hit on the head entirely way too many times, ya know since you can’t recall events.”
Before you can press the dial button to call Happy, Tony swiftly reaches over the counter where you are standing and snatches the phone from your grip, ending the call before it’s made. 
“Okay, listen baby, I think we’re fighting, and I don’t want to fight tonight.” He says with pleading eyes putting his hands up in defense.
“Tony!” You yell at him going to where he is standing in the spacious kitchen. “You're not answering my question and you should have thought about that before asking Happy to spy on me!” Which I’m not understanding what for! Just say you don’t trust me and leave it at that, why play all these games?!”
His face flattened.
“Okay, kitten, listen it wasn’t like that. I do too trust you.”
So he did put Happy up to it— of course he did.
“You better explain or I’m Leaving Tony.”
He sighs heavily, shame settling on his features. 
“Happy brought up this guy? Aldrich Killian, said you dated him a while back?" “Oh my go- you don’t trust me!” You exhaust throwing your hands up and turning on the heels of your feet ready to retreat out of the kitchen.
“No!” Tony quickly follows behind you. Come on babe, let’s talk about this!” He says grabbing you by your shoulder gently spinning you around.
“Tony you’re doing a lot of the talking, and only digging yourself in a deeper hole.” You say crossing your arms. 
“Okay, let’s back track, I trust you, with everything I own, my life even. I’ve just been overwhelmed and overthinking recently. I can’t say what I did was right, but in the moment I didn’t feel it was exactly wrong either.”
“In the moment Tony really? What moment did you realize I needed to be spied on like some convict? What moment did you realize you didn’t trust me alone at work with some guy, I hardly ever dated by the way!”
“Okay, okay! I did not send him to spy on you, I sent him to keep an eye on you.”
“Same shit Sherlock and I don’t appreciate it ! You say you trust me but tis is definitely not how it’s coming off.” You huff in annoyance, trying to grab your phone from him again, in which he manages to keep it away from you snacking his free arm around you. “Give it back now, I’m leaving Tony!”
“Would you stop getting mad?!” He huffs. “Just- it’s not a trust thing baby. It’s a safety thing.”
“I wouldn’t be getting mad if you’d just tell me the truth and stop beating around the damn bush. I’m over it anyways, I’m going to be leaving now, so give me my phone and let me go.” He rolls his eyes and pulls you into him closer. “No you’re not leaving , stop being dramatic.” He says holding onto you tight, still holding the phone away from your grasp with his other hand. You scrunch up your face about to say something,  about his remark, but he quickly says. “And don’t be mad that I think you’re being dramatic about this.” He says to ensure he digs himself out of being in trouble over that stupid comment.
He continues, “You already know I trust you so don’t give me that. I did all of this because I love you.” He says holding you close and swaying the two of you slightly to the music that is still playing softly in the background.
“Not the because I love you speech.” You say rolling your eyes, hands resting on his chest trying to create distance between the two of you, but he just pulls you back into him. “You are so annoying.” You comment on the action, surrendering to his grasp.
“No it’s not like that, I just needed to make sure you were safe. No malicious thought behind it or intent, I swear. I just wanted to make name you are safe at all times.” He says softly with a sigh as he feels that you’ve calmed down.
“Why wouldn’t I be safe at work?” You say looking up at him. He now sets your phone down on the near by counter and places the hand to your face, caressing your cheek.
“Anyone can be in danger anywhere honey, I’ve learned that the hard way— and if I were to loose you? Well let’s just say for my sake and peace of mind, I might of let fear cloud my judgment and asked Happy to keep an eye on you. No spying, just an eye. You know how he gets.” He looks deeply into your eyes and you could tell he was telling the truth. “I’m sorry, okay?” He leans into you just enough to rub his nose against yours playfully. “Do you accept my apology?” He says in a child like voice, giving you puppy dogs eyes.
He was so cute.
“Okay fine, I’m hearing you.” You say caving in. “But you’ve gotta stop him from following my every move— if I’m going to the bathroom, I don’t need him right out the door.” You huff.
“Done, you got it, Happy is officially barred off of bathroom duties. Can we kiss and make up now?” He says this as his lips ghost over yours and you happily lean into the kiss, knowing full well it was long overdue after how hard he worked to impress you tonight. This kiss was sweet and sincere, while also deep and romantic. 
“I love you.” He says after breaking the kiss.
“You're a pain, but I love you too.” You both laugh before you give him another kiss. 
“Now are we still fighting?” He smirks after pulling away a second time. “Just wanna double check before I invest.”
“You're so annoying.” You laugh rolling your eyes playfully. “No we aren’t.”
“Good because our spaghetti is getting cold and our chardonnay is getting flat.” He says intertwining your fingers and spinning you around to walk into the living room. “And you look entirely too good to keep this on all night.” He says referring to your outfit. “I can’t believe you were going to call Happy.”
“Well how about next time, you don’t play with me.” You laugh ready to enjoy your dinner.
“Oh, but honey, playing with you is my favorite thing to do. I especially love it when you scream my name.” He smirks giving you a wink.
Comments, Questions, Opinions :)
See more of what I have written so far: Masterlist
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raggaraddy · 4 years ago
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hello, so if you still take requests i want to request yandere reaction where the reader is as possesive as them, or like she willingly do anything for them and obey them. its totally okay if you dont feel like writing it or maybe you dont take request.. its just im craving reading something like that and youre a great writer :)
A/N: Hi, I am still new to writing reactions, so I hope that this is what you wanted or you at least like it.  Thank you for your sweet comments. Enjoy!
Mine
Summary: When another girl gets a little too comfortable with Jungkook your reaction's a surprise to the both of you.
Trigger warnings: Fighting, mentions of abuse, violence.
Jungkook
You had begged Jungkook to take you with him tonight. He'd been so busy with work lately and you'd found yourself missing him too much when he was gone. So when he said he wasn't staying home tonight, but he was instead going out to a bar with some of his friends, you were enthusiastic for him to take you with him. It had used to be the complete opposite. Every time he left you alone, gave you some time to breathe on your own, you were thrilled. But more and more you'd started noticing him in a new light.
Sure he's rough and demanding sometimes. And yeah, he can lose his temper every now and then. But you're not perfect either, and you know it must be hard for him, especially when you behaved so insensitively at first. However, despite your flaws or his, he deeply loves you. He accepts you for who you are and he wants nothing more than to keep you safe. How could you ever find anyone else who cared for you as much as your Kookie did?
The night started as every night out with Jungkook did. He listed out the same rules over that he had said dozens of times before.
You have to listen to everything he says and do everything he says. You don't talk to anyone unless he's with you, and most importantly, you never leave his sight. You had tried to run off a few times in the past, so you knew how deathly serious he was about that last one.
After thoroughly prepping you, and dressing you, and warning you one last time to mind the rules, the both of you finally went to meet his friends.
"Sit. Here." Jungkook pointed to the booth table at the back of the bar. You slid in and he right away pushed in alongside you, nudging you in further and further until you were all but barricaded against the wall. As his friends began to come in one by one, they all joined in a large group. While the night went on, you talked among his friends and their girlfriends. A few people got food, but most people were just drinking to excess. You of course got the choice of soda or water. Every now and then throughout the evening, you could feel JK's attention on you, and you would hug his arm a little tighter to let him know you were paying attention to him too.
At some point, it was Jungkooks turn to buy the next round.
"Y/n." He whispered lowly. Even in the middle of a conversation and with the music playing in the background, his voice caught your focus right away. You looked up to him, a small smile and big eyes. "I'll be back in a few minutes." His lips pressed to your ear, his warm breath blowing along your neck spiking tingles down your side. "If you even try to move while I'm gone, I'm going to pin you to the table by putting this butter knife through your hand." He twirls the point of the dull knife into the table, scratching the wood.
Your smile grows a little bit bigger at his threat. Not because you think he wouldn't do it, but because you know there is no way he would ever need to do it. You're not going anywhere.
Your fingers linger with his, holding on for a few seconds extra as he gets up. While the conversations go on, your concentration keeps flicking to Kookie. Watching every now and then to make sure he hasn't left your sight either.
On one momentary glance, you catch sight of some random woman standing too close to him. They're at the bar, and it's quite crowded so it could be nothing, but she doesn't look like she is ordering drinks. She's completely facing him. Talking to him.
Slowly your frustration starts to build as a few minutes pass and they stay in the same position. You don't know who she is, you've never seen her before. Jungkook's body language expresses that he doesn't know her as well. She, however, is acting way too familiar. Laughing, smiling, flicking her hair and pushing her chest out like some kind of desperate slut.
You're trying to let it pass. But after only about 10 minutes of silent stewing, that's all you can tolerate. You know your Kookie has no interest in any other girls. He's just too innocent to realize that this girl is flirting with him. That, or he is only trying to be polite.
She crosses the line though when she decides to put her hand on his arm.
He might have told you to stay in your seat, and you know he is going to at the very least slap you for willingly going against his rules, but you have had enough and you're not going to allow this bitch to paw all over him anymore.
Shuffling out of the booth, you take heavy, furious steps towards them. The second you're in reach you draw against Jungkooks side, wrapping your arm around his. At the same time, you roughly and forcefully shove the heel of your palm into this girls shoulder, knocking her back and off of him. She stumbles looking shocked and fleetingly frightened. You're not done sending a message yet.
"The next part of you that tries to touch him is going to get stabbed!" You growl. Jungkook leans back a little to look at you. A mix of intrigue and surprise coming together to form a smirk on his face. It's not just from the forceful action you made, but also the confident, ruthless way you spoke to intimidate her.
This woman is dumb though. She either doesn't see or doesn't understand how sincerely you made that threat. "Wow," she scoffs. Yelling, trying to be louder than the music, "Is this your girlfriend? She's a psycho." she mocks, stepping forward, speaking directly to Jungkook. You pull yourself in front of him, dragging his hand around your waist to wrap on your hip, your fingers lacing over the top of his. Even with you standing between them, eyes burning with hostility she still doesn't back down. "If you want a cool girlfriend, you can come home with me, baby." She propositions him, with the cherry on top of calling him baby. Calling your Kookie baby! Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?!
You snap forward and slam your curled up fist into her face as hard as you can. She mustn't have been expecting that at all because she falls like a ton of bricks. Knocking into two or three other people behind her before she ultimately falls on to the floor.
Honestly, you've never hit someone before, and you didn't realize it would hurt so much. So you have to quickly shake your hand feeling the bones bruised and jarred. You regain your composure by the time she can gain hers and looks back up to you. You step over the top of her getting into her personal space. "Go find someone else to be a pathetic whore with." You snap. "He's mine!"
She scrambles out from under you and back to her feet, sensibly darting away. Over your shoulder, you can see Jungkook taking control of the consequences of your interaction, assuaging the bartender's concerns. JK knows them all, so if they know that it's him, they're not going to make a fuss over it, they'll just let it go and assume there was a good reason.
You latch onto him again as he focuses back on you. Grabbing your hands into his shirt, you hold him closer. "Don't let other girls touch you."  You whine, taking the aggression out of your voice when you talk with him, but not the seriousness.
"Why? Because I'm yours?" He looks down with a smug smile, and a salacious glimmer in his gaze. His tongue running over the inside of his cheek.
You're still so pent up and frustrated, you just want to be as close to him as you can be for comfort. You press your whole body flat to him, feeling warmed by the firm shape of his arms and chest. "Yes, you're mine."
He insists on a small amount of space between you two, gripping onto your upper arms harshly he pushes you back. His free hand comes up and his fingers cling into your jaw keeping you still.
This is it. You knew he was going to hurt you for disobeying. But honestly, it was worth it to keep her off of him.
Looking down at you so intensely, he isn't reacting the way you had expected. His eyes are instead filled with an infatuated allure that's making your stomach tingle and your cheeks feel warm. He rests his mouth next to your ear like he had earlier. "That was so fucking hot Kitten." His teeth nip at your ear lobe, making you shiver. "We're leaving. Just wait until I get you alone. I'm gonna prove I'm yours."   
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drarrily-we-row-along · 3 years ago
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Day 111: Smile
"Auror Potter! Auror Potter!" the wizarding press started shouting the instant the doors to the Wizengamot opened following the trial, and Draco watched as Harry's shoulders stiffened. "Smile for the cameras!" one witch shouted.
"Tell us about the case, Auror Potter!"
"How did you catch Hollister?"
"What's the status on your relationship with Ginny Weasley?"
"Smile!"
He watched as Harry carefully put on a mask of indifference, making his face pleasant and amiable in the way that only someone who has spent years in the public eye is able to do.
Harry held up a hand, "Thank you for your interest in this case. We're asking that you respect the Griffiths Family's privacy as they go through the aftermath of this harrowing ordeal. Alden Hollister has been brought to justice; I will leave it to the court reporter to give you more of the details."
The reporters started in shouting at him once more, asking all sorts of questions both professional and personal.
"Sorry," he said, "If you'll excuse us please. Auror Malfoy and I have had a very difficult few days and we're long overdue for some rest," he added, chuckling amiably at them. "Thank you," he nodded. "Good night."
Without waiting for anything else, Draco reached out and grasped Harry's elbow and apparated them out of there and back to the apparition point just outside the Ministry. They had to apparate home separately, Merlin knew the press would have a field day if they knew the full truth about the nature of their relationship.
(Read more below the cut)
Members of the press were waiting by that apparation point as well, Draco watched a tremor of unease sluice up Harry's back. He was sure that he wouldn't have suspected a thing if not for how long he had been watching Harry Potter. Sometimes he wondered if he knew Harry better than Harry knew himself.
Harry held up a hand but Draco beat him to the punch this time. "Move," he snapped, pushing his way through the press but keeping Harry half a step ahead of him so they couldn't suck him in. "Auror Potter's already given an interview to your insipid colleagues. The DMLE and the Wizengamot will be issuing official statements within the hour, I suggest you wait for them."
They were followed into the lobby but fortunately the reporters couldn't come any further and within a few moments they were ensconced in the relative safety of the elevator.
Once they got inside, Harry leaned back against the back wall and let his head fall foward while Draco hit the button to their floor before joining him.
"Thanks," Harry murmured.
"Don't mention it," Draco replied, reaching across the gap between them and hooking their pinkies together.
He released his finger the floor before theirs and stepped away, "What do you still have to do?" he asked.
"You're submitting the report, right?"
Draco nodded, "It's just about done. I'll need a few minutes to finish."
"I just have to straighten up my desk, then. I'll head home first."
The elevator dinged and the door opened onto their floor, Draco gave Harry a little nod and they stepped out.
Harry was done straightening his desk and putting things away in ten minutes and he stood and stretched before patting Draco congenially on the shoulder. "Nice work, Malfoy," he said. "I'll see you in two days. Enjoy your couple of days of recovery," he added.
"Thanks, Potter," he replied. "You, too."
He didn't let himself watch Harry leave, didn't let himself look at his retreating form to analyze what he was feeling and thinking. No, he went back to finishing his report and after another fifteen minutes he was done as well. He dropped the report in Robbard's mailbox and headed for the apparition point, knowing that Harry would have used the floo network to avoid as many reporters as possible.
Fortunately, the reporters left him alone for the most part and he reached the apparation point without incident. A heartbeat later he was standing in their entry way, breathing in the comforting scent of home, the warmth seeping into his bones and washing away all of the tension and stress.
He kicked off his shoes, tucked his bag into the closet, and hung up his cloak before turning and heading into the kitchen. Harry was standing over the hob, cooking chicken tikka masala by the smell of it, and that told Draco everything his needed to know about how draining this case had been on Harry.
Harry only cooked after a case when he was especially frustrated, when he was desperate to care for someone, to fix the hurts he was able to, to heal. He ached with how much he loved the other man.
"Hey," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and hooked his chin over his shoulder. "Smells good."
Harry leaned into him, "Good," he replied, setting the wooden spoon down and turning his head to press a quick kiss to Draco's lips. "How are you?" he asked softly.
"Tired," Draco replied honestly.
Harry hummed and turned back to his rice, pulling down the jar of jasmine and adding some. "Me too."
"I'm going to open a bottle of wine," he said, pressing a kiss to Harry's shoulder. "White okay?"
"Sure," the other man replied, giving him a worn, weary smile.
Draco opened the wine and set the table, getting everything ready while Harry finished preparing the food.
"Dinner's ready," Harry said, bringing over the rice and chicken tikka masala, and a batch of naan that he'd had under stasis for a moment like this.
"Thanks," Draco replied and the first part of dinner was quiet, companionable, like it always was.
Then, once Harry was almost done with his first helping he started to talk. "Godric, I hate those vultures," he grumbled before taking a sip of his wine. "Can you imagine how heartless you have to be to stand outside of a court to ambush someone after the kind of case we just finished?"
"They're awful," Draco agreed.
"I always wish I could tell them to fuck off," he added, shaking his head.
"What a sight that would be," he said with a laugh. "I'd give my entire vault at Gringotts to see it. Can you imagine their faces?"
Harry laughed too, "It sure would be something." But then after a moment he said, "What's happened to me?"
"What?" Draco asked, panic spearing through his chest. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, "No, nothing like that," he said, soothingly. "Sorry. It's just," he paused as though he was trying to put his thoughts in order. "When I was seventeen I would have told them to piss off in an instant. I would have told them that they were heartless, soulless leeches without hesitation."
"You've just learned to be more diplomatic," Draco replied, tearing off another piece of naan to soak up more of the tikka masala.
"But why?" Harry asked. "I'm sick of it. It's exhausting."
Draco nodded, "I don't doubt it. But I'm sure even you would get in trouble for telling off the press like that. You are the Ministry's Golden Boy, after all. You've got quite an image to uphold."
"Why do we do this job, Draco?" he asked suddenly.
Draco blinked, their conversations after a case usually centered around the case itself and Harry's guilt for not being fast enough, clever enough, etc. "Well, when we started, you wanted to catch bad guys, save people, the works. And I wanted to redeem myself, do some good for once, and piss off my father."
Harry swallowed down the remainder of his glass of wine, "I hate it."
"What?"
"Being an Auror," he said. "The only time I'm ever happy is when I'm with you, the only time I feel like I'm actually me is when I'm with you." He shook his head, "I don't know how I became this person. How I became someone who could put on a fake smile and be polite to people who are such arse holes."
"What are you saying?"
He blew out a breath, "I want to stop." Running his fingers through his hair he said, "I don't want to do this anymore."
"Alright," Draco said, covering Harry's hand with his own. "We'll quit tomorrow."
"We?" he asked.
He nodded, "Ninety percent of the reason that I am still an auror is to keep an eye on you."
Harry leaned in to kiss him, both of them smiling so widely that it made kissing rather difficult. "What'll we do?" Harry asked.
Draco shrugged, "Let's not rush into anything."
"Alright," Harry agreed, bringing Draco's hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to his wrist. "I'm sure whatever we decide on will be good, as long as we're together."
"I love you," Draco murmured.
Harry smiled and squeezed his hand, "I love you, too."
And even though he didn't quite know what tomorrow would bring, he knew that everything would be okay.
---------
Day 110: Rough | Day 112: Intimacy
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amiedala · 3 years ago
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SOMETHING DEEPER (a mandalorian story)
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CHAPTER 1: There's Always Three Things
RATING: Explicit (18+ ONLY!!!)
WARNINGS: sexual content, hints of voyeurism
SUMMARY: HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO AND HAPPY SOMETHING DEEPER SATURDAY MY LOVES!!! this is the first chapter in Something Deeper, the
second installment in the Something More series. in this one, Nova is her established character, they're still trying to save the galaxy, and the spice is racketed up even hotter ;) more notes at the end, as always, and until then, ENJOY!!!
If you're a newcomer, my fic "Something More" is the first installment of this story! <3
AUTHOR’S NOTE: HELLO MY LOVES HAPPY SOMETHING MORE SATURDAY!!!! this chapter is quite the whirlwind, i hope you love it! more notes at the end as always <3
*
Novalise Djarin is absolutely certain of three things. One, that the strongest thing in this galaxy is the green alien baby she calls her son; two, that her gorgeous, commanding bounty hunter husband is an excellent leader but a fantastically horrible diplomat; and three, that she is by far the most skilled person she knows at getting out of a particularly sticky situation.
Nova is excellent at getting out of things, period—her husband would argue that she’s an expert at getting the both of them out of their clothes and Mandalorian armor, respectively—but she excels at somehow, miraculously, wriggling herself free from between a rock and a hard place. And, right now, the asteroid belt that makes up Polis Massa is the abundance of rock, and the TIE fighters right on the tail of Kicker’s infamously sporadic power is the hard place.
They’re relentless. Nova squints her eyes, making the starry backdrop of the Outer Rim split and fractal into a thousand more glittering balls of light. There’s only three of them, this time, but this is the closest they’ve ever dared to follow her to Mandalore, and there’s something dangerous and electric kicking around somewhere inside of her chest. They keep shooting, jarring bolts of blasts that do their best to try and knock down Kicker’s very stubborn shields.
“Stupid,” Nova whispers, her breath low, the ghost of a smile stretching across her face, even in the crush of space. A year ago, she wouldn’t have recognized herself—this fearless, feisty pilot, the fully-formed reconstruction of the girl she used to be. On the ground, even with the Force on her side, she’s clumsy, an amateur. But up here? This is where Novalise shines. She has the upper hand out in the stars, and, besides, even if she were being chased by an artillery of a hundred more, there’s reinforcements on her old, lovable beater of a starship.
“Surrender,” one of the mechanical, ordered voices comes over the comm, and Nova giggles to herself in the darkness.
“Does that ever work?” she asks, flipping the right switches to make Kicker drop down and over itself, sending one of the fighters careening into the nearest asteroid. It doesn’t deter whoever’s in the cockpit for long, but it’s enough to utilize her infamous barrel roll to twist up and away from the other two fighters close in tow. “You know, asking impolitely for whoever you’re chasing to surrender?”
Silence. Nova smiles again, biting her teeth down against the fullness of her bottom lip. Her stomach grumbles. It was a sleepless night and a long day she spent back on Hoth before making the short trek back home—Mandalore, which isn’t the kindest of planets to call your own but is undoubtably better than some of the other alternatives—and the broth-based soups and dried legumes that frequent the base there are not nearly as filling or delicious as the feasts that being Mandalorian royalty entail. Still nothing from the other fighters, which is perfectly fine, because she’s about to feign dropping into warp and leading through a wormhole that’ll lead nowhere but the barrenness of the Mid Rim, but usually, they’re much more demanding.
“Surrender,” comes the voice again, and Nova sighs, cracking her neck, readjusting the familiar, worn helmet still stamped with the orange Rebel insignia. Kicker beeps angrily, and she lends a soft hand to the worn metal of her beloved ship’s dashboard, coaxing the metal to just go a tiny bit further.
“I’m just saying, you might have a stroke more of luck if you’re a little bit nicer. Less demanding, more asking. Who am I surrendering to?” she asks, and even though the TIE fighters are still volleying an array of blasts at the back end of the starfighter, they’re not quick to identify themselves. Nova squints again, catching a glimpse of one of them as she swoops to avoid a larger chunk of asteroid. It was stupid to come here, she admits internally to herself, even though it makes her heart drop a tiny bit inside of her chest. All she wanted for the hours she spent on Hoth was to get back to Din, to hold Grogu against her heartbeat for as long as she could before she reluctantly had to relinquish him to the one and only Luke Skywalker, but when Wedge called, it seemed urgent. “Hello?” she whispers, only to dare the strange, affected voice on the commlink to rattle back across the stars.
“Andromeda Maluev,” the comm blurts, and the sound of her name—her birth name, still heavy and pearlescent with the weight of losing her parents—makes Nova’s heart drop even further. Everyone left in this galaxy that Nova associates with—Din Djarin, Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles, Bo-Katan Kryze, Boba Fett, Cara Dune, Greef Karga, and every person she met along her trip with Din through the galaxy and back—knows that Andromeda Maluev is dead, and that Novalise Djarin rose from her ashes. But every single bounty Nova’s had on her head has slammed that full weight of her first identity back into her bones, like a brand, like something she can’t escape. It makes the force of people after her—the shadowy legion of the obscured First Order, and all of their cronies—feel just a bit more insidious.
“Not my name,” she volleys back, but the brace in Nova’s voice doesn’t sound like anything dangerous, anything sharp enough scare them off. “I’ve ran into enough of you by now for you to get it right.”
“We’ve got you surrounded. Surrender or be killed.”
Nova snorts. There’s three fighters on her tail, and they’re nowhere close to surrounding her. It’s so ludicrous, so unexpected, that the laugh catapults out of her mouth and echoes in the small hull of Kicker. She wishes Din and Grogu were here to equally share in her utter disbelief—she can practically see the helmet cocking and the baby’s giant, intuitive eyes crinkling—but she dodges another set of shots, which are almost completely aimless and hardly land on the tail end of the ship. “Be killed?” she repeats, swerving and ducking through another large chunk of asteroid, seamlessly, barely paying any attention to the terrain around her. She doesn’t need to. Even in a field this littered, space is Nova’s strongest suit. She could do this with her eyes closed. “As far as I can see, you’ve landed what, three shots? I don’t think you’ll be getting anywhere near close enough to even do damage to my ship. You’re three fighters strong, and one of you has a wounded wing. And you still haven’t answered my question.”
“The First Order demands your services.”
Nova’s blood runs ice-cold. It’s a familiar request at this point, but still, the name sends a very real shiver all the way down her spine, rocking and rattling her vertebrae. She swallows, blinking furiously, avoiding the tailspin of a smaller asteroid as she lurches out of the chase. That wasn’t the lowly voice of some sorry stormtrooper that got the shitty job of trying to wrangle her out of the skies. It sounds evil. Dark. Mirthless. It wasn’t Moff Gideon’s voice, but it was something close to the memory of the dark timbre of it. Fear forms wet and cold on the back of her neck, curling up through the bottom of her hairline, seeping underneath the warmth of her standard, Rebel-orange jumpsuit. She swallows, but the air feels like it’s evaporating out of her mouth.
“The First Order,” she manages, finally, trying to detach the nervousness from her voice, “will not be getting my services. Not now, not ever.”
It’s only been two weeks since Din’s coronation. Two hectic, packed weeks in which her big, brave bounty hunter boyfriend got forcibly turned into a very reluctant diplomat under the watchful—and perhaps slightly resentful—eye of Bo-Katan Kryze. Din never seemed to really need sleep the way a normal human being did, but Nova watched as the bags under his eyes darkened and grew as he spent long hours in the war rooms, buried somewhere in the giant, stark palace they’d moved into, eyelids pressed into the warm hollow of her neck in the early hours of the morning when he made it to bed at all. In the meantime, Nova was spending every single precious second of her waking hours with Grogu, who she knows is on the verge of needing to go back to Jedi training, trying to absorb as much of his small, green light as she possibly can. When Wedge called the other day, though, he sounded desperate, which didn’t happen often, and she had wrenched herself away from her family on Mandalore to try and stop the impending doom of the First Order on Hoth, but it had been yet another dead end. Polis Massa was a pit stop—an impulsive, foolish one—because Nova ran furiously out of the library archives the last time she was here, and she wanted to pick up books on the history of Mandalore for Din and herself, and a small star of yearning in her chest was to spend a little more time in the shelves like her father used to before the Empire killed him.
And as much as Nova wants to put Andromeda Maluev to rest, longing for the days when she was tiny and growing up on Yavin with her parents alive and happy beside her outweighs the alternative. She swallows through the lump in her throat and closes her eyes to shake the starshine of her past lives away. The time to focus on getting the hell out of here is now, all yearning and ache can blossom fully formed when she’s away from the reaches of the First Order, safely back on Mandalore.
“Surrender,” the voice says again, only this time it is the timbre of some sorry stormtrooper and not the one that still haunts her nightmares, and Nova sighs, flipping all of the switches on Kicker’s dashboard to feint left and fake drop into hyperspace.
“I’ll ask you again. When,” she exhales, straightening up in the pilot’s chair, “has that line ever worked?”
“We are granted permission to obliterate your starfighter under Order Number—”
“Obliterate?” Nova interrupts, stifling another giggle. “Is the Order giving you vocabulary lessons? I’m impressed, trooper—”
“Andromeda Maluev,” the voice comes again, and Nova tries her absolute hardest to ignore the pulsing and aching in her heart that comes with the punch of her previous identity, “you are to surrender to the First Order. Failure to comply will result in termination. This is your final warning.”
Nova sighs, pulling Kicker to a temporary halt. If she stares, the ghostly outline of Mandalore, embedded forever in her memory, will flash in front of her vision, even out here in Polis Massa’s gigantic asteroid belt. She knows that the troopers, whoever they are, whoever they’re working for, will understand that she’s intending to go straight back to the strange palace she’s started calling home, but she also knows that any force in this galaxy, no matter how dark, no matter how strong, is smart enough to know they can’t take on a planet full of Mandalorian warriors without all the strength they’ve got. From the way Kicker is paused in the middle of space, she knows it looks like she’s about to surrender, or at least like she’s weighing her options heavily, and the satisfied, smug silence of the trooper on the other end of the commlink is enough to assure herself that her plan—hasty and rash as it may be—is working.
“Okay,” she whispers, feigning resignation, into the comm. “I understand I’m dealing with forces a lot stronger than I am. I don’t surrender, but I’ll come with you. But first,” she whispers, silencing the clicking that the switches to go into hyperdrive with the muffler of her right hand, “I need to tell you something.”
There’s a pause. “So be it. Reeling you in via tractor beam now.”
The unmistakable whirring of a ship forcibly being dragged onto another’s power starts up, and Nova swallows, pushing the second to last toggle into place, keeping a steady eye on the rocketing meter on her dashboard that indicates the ship is fully charged. Under the noise of Kicker being pulled into the largest TIE fighter’s proximity, the beeping goes unnoticed by the other party. Nova slips her hand off the switch and finds the necklace Din gifted her back before he accepted his role of Mand’alor, pressing hard enough that the symbol embosses itself into her thumbprint. “First of all,” she starts, trying her hardest to keep her voice level and even and not reveal a single ounce of the glee that she’s concealing, “my name hasn’t been Andromeda Maluev in a decade. You want me to answer to you, to answer to the Order? You’ll call me Novalise.”
The sigh from the trooper is short, clipped. “Noted.”
“Second,” Nova continues, leveling her jaw with the center of the dashboard, watching every single thruster lock itself into gear, “I am married to the galaxy’s most ruthless bounty hunter. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than the word surrender to scare me into submission.”
Kicker grinds to a halt in midair. Nova straps herself in tighter, just enough to ensure that she won’t be sent reeling across the perfectly aligned dashboard when she breaks free of the tractor beam and shoots Kicker straight into the stars, back to Mandalore, back to Din, back home, and steels herself.
“Stop,” another voice says, tinny and nervous over the speaker. “She’s—she’s screwing with us, sir—”
“I’m assuming,” the original trooper speaks, trying to intimidate Nova with the ice in his voice, “that there’s a third thing?”
“Oh, there’s always a third thing,” Nova volleys back, eyes catching the light of what’s been powering up the entire time the troopers thought she was weighing her options and deciding the First Order’s clutches sounded warm and delightful, after all. “Not only am I a commander in the New Rogue Squadron, not only am I the wife of the reigning Mand’alor, I contain multitudes.” She grins, her teeth bared and gleeful in the low light of space, knowing this is by far the most badass exit she’s ever attempted. “And do you know what that means?”
The trooper in the largest fighter sounds defeated. This was barely even a scratch compared to the narrow scrapes Nova’s been entangled with before. She bites down on her bottom lip, cracking her neck, taking advantage of Kicker’s stationary position to break free of the tractor beam, and as the angry clamor of the three troopers in the fighters trying to reel the ship in starts to filter across the commlink, Nova does what she does best.
She barrel rolls the entirety of Kicker, flipping downward and over so that she’s facing the three fighters, staring through her Rebel helmet at the floodlights drenching her whole ship in florescence that shouldn’t be possible in space, and shows every single one of her teeth, smile stretched so far across her face that it hurts, “My starfighter is Rebel-made, sure, but it’s gotten a few upgrades in the past few weeks. The only reason you got this far was because I was waiting to unload the artillery loaded up in the guns that are pointed at you right now. And you know what they’re made of?”
“All aim to kill—”
Nova can’t resist. She tries, but this whole royalty thing, the whole leading the New Rogue Squadron thing, this whole being a Jedi thing—well, all of it has been tallied up enough to recognize she can stand to be the tiniest bit cocky to the people trying to kill her or bring her in as a slave. She raises a single middle finger, making sure that the pilot of the largest fighter catches her elongated, elegant bird with the floodlights. “Same thing as my resolve is. Beskar, bitch.” And with that, she punches all the thrusters, Kicker dazzling and evaporating through hyperspace, gone before the first trigger even pulls.
Mandalore is quiet. There’s a strange serenity that lives on the horizon, pulsing and shifting, but never quite tangible from the planet’s surface. It’s hard to look at the place where the greatest warriors in the galaxy are born and bred and not see anything but a whetted, sharp arena, but so much of this planet is soft around the edges. The blue architecture in the capital, for one—something Nova knows is much newer than the ancient history of the land here—and there’s a silence here that teeters on eerie but mostly stays in a strange sense of tranquility.
It doesn’t hold the feeling of abandonment, like so many other planets do these days, but it seems like the rest of the world around the city is disconnected. Inhabitable. Nova parks Kicker in the nearest landing bay, watching the strange haze that hangs over the atmosphere, trying to find other places where lights are lit, where people live, but so much of the planet is quiet. It’s the same sort of stark contrast that Yavin had when her and Din got engaged all those months ago, or Hoth’s anesthetic brutality, but Mandalore’s environment feels different.
And, Nova reasons, as she disembarks off Kicker’s gangplank, running the tips of her fingers over the Rebel insignia hidden under the outermost coat of white and silver detailing, it’s likely because this isn’t home. Not yet, anyway, and it might never have that feeling of belonging that the Crest did, that Kicker does, that her and Din found on Naator and Kashyyyk and Nevarro. Nova climbs the marble steps to the palace, smiling at the stoic Mandalorians stationed outside as she slips up the stairs and through the main entrance, immediately cutting sideways up the hallways to the left, watching as her shadow traipses behind her in the blue dusk, trying to not stake stock of the silence that most of the building holds. In true Mandalorian fashion, their holding cells are built into the palace itself, alongside training arenas and the war room where Din spends most of his time. Nova moves as quietly as she can through the halls, up the other marble staircase, and when she bursts into the chambers twice the size of the starship that she and Din usually call home, a gurgle from Grogu on the floor makes the entire day turn around.
Nova grins, dropping to her knees. Grogu beams up at her, his big bug eyes full of nothing but love, and she scoops him up, pressing his tiny, warm body against her chest. It chases away all the chill of Hoth and the crush of space, and for a second, she just runs her fingers over the top of his fuzzy head, pressing kisses to his green skin, soaking in every second she can.
“I missed you, lovey,” she murmurs, and Grogu’s giant green ears perk up. “What did you do in your day here?”
Grogu pulls away from her chest, pressing a three-fingered hand against Nova’s temple. The visions that used to terrify her, the ones Grogu put into her head, filled with screaming and loss and desperation, fall away as he shows her the bath he took, the feast he got for dinner, sitting on Din’s lap while in the war room. As he drops his touch, Nova grins down at him, all teeth and excitement, all of the panic and isolation of the last few hours melting away.
“He terrorized Bo-Katan,” a familiar voice rings out from behind her, and Nova pushes herself up on the heels of her hands, her heart flipping over with the same butterfly menagerie Din’s always given her. “I didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop.”
“Hi,” Nova whispers, giddy, watching as Din steps forward out of the shadows. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s been lucky enough to gaze over his handsome face, it doesn’t matter that he’s been spending more time helmetless here on Mandalore, every time she sees him, it’s like the first time. In the moonlight, obscured by the permafrost of Mandalore’s blue twilight, Nova’s eyes roam over the valleys and mountains of her husband’s face. His hair is the length it was when he proposed, long enough for the ends to curl up gently. His mouth, even in the near darkness, is pink and gorgeous, his lips slightly parted in the unconscious way they do when Nova’s the only thing in his eyeline. His scruff is there, long enough to scratch her chin—or her thighs—up something terrible, and the ghost of the mustache she used to feel in the dark is strong, dark, manicured. His eyelashes are longer than the length of her thumbnails, and his eyes, his gorgeous brown eyes, soften around the edges the second Nova smiles.
“Hi,” Din echoes, bridging the gap between the two of them with two quick strides, and Nova feels her breath catch in her throat. Din’s hands, gloved in black and twice the size of her own, balance on the curve of her hips, his fingers digging into the loops of her orange jumpsuit, pulling Nova over her own feet, anchoring her body right up against hers. The way he kisses after only being separated overnight is desperate, longing, filled with words he doesn’t always know how to say. Nova leans into his embrace, head fuzzy, waterlogged, like everything else fades away. It does. She loses track of time, how many minutes pass, the stars behind her eyes dazzling, supernovae, regenerated.
When they break apart, Nova’s hand trails over the regalia Din’s wearing. It’s his familiar beskar, the armor he’s worn since they first met, but it’s been cleaned, and underneath, where his typical black undergarments used to cling to his build, he’s wearing Mandalore blue. It’s the color of the skyline at dusk, a faded azure that signals something more than warrior, something a shade closer to royalty. The material is lightweight, practical. It’s the same kind that every single one of her matching outfits are made out of—Mandalorians don’t have much use for aesthetic, it just gets in the way of practicality—but it seems more vibrant on Din. “How was today?” she whispers into the hollow of his mouth, and Din exhales, low and slow, tipping his bare forehead against hers.
“Long without you,” he admits, his voice barely anything. Nova’s eyes search his deep brown ones, trying to figure out where his exhaustion is hiding. “Come with me. I—I want to show you something.”
Nova nods, catching sight of the dirty orange jumpsuit stretched over her tan trousers, the black tank top she’d spent the past year replacing every time Din tore it off of her body. “I should change.”
Din’s eyes flick hungrily over her silhouette, and when he speaks again, his voice is husky. “No,” he says, finally, digging his thumb slightly into the flesh on her hip, “you shouldn’t.”
The trek downstairs is quiet. Both of them move in the shadows, lulled into an easy silence, their hands knitted together in between their two bodies. Nova watches as the low light of the corridor flickers as they cross over another staircase and down a side hallway, entering through the war room by the back entrance instead of the front, even though there’s no one left in here to try to hide from.
Nova’s been in here at least ten times, but the decoration steals the breath straight out of her mouth every time. A glittering holotable, top of the line, at least twenty years more advanced than the one on Hoth, sits in the direct center. The ceiling looks more like a cathedral than it does anything else, which is perfectly fitting for a group of people who treat fighting as their religion. Nova looks up through the sheer domed ceiling, watching as the moody dusk falls into a silent, quiet night. Stars dazzle and shine from above, and even though they’re not nearly as poignant and powerful down here as they are out in space, the direct line to the cosmos is bright enough to make her throat ache. “Wow,” Nova whispers, voice barely anything at all, staring straight upward, mapping constellations under her breath. Eventually, her eyes slide off of the ceiling, traveling over the careful architecture, the shrines in the corners, the murals painstakingly hand-painted across the circular walls, all of beskar and helmets and Mandalorian history. It feels so ancient, even though the palace was recently rebuilt, reconstructed from nothing during both of their lifetimes. She’s been in here a handful of times before, but never as night is on the horizon. There’s something transcendent about this place, this holy center of Mandalorian worship. Something deeper, something divine enough to make a Jedi believe in them, too.
Din’s standing across the other end of the holotable, fidgeting with the controls until a map of the galaxy sparkles to life in front of them. Through the light, Nova watches the peaks of her husband’s face getting caught in the reflections, letting everything except his face blur out to stardust. “Did you get anything from Wedge?” he asks, and Nova blinks her eyes to refocus on the map. “Anything new? Anything…useful?”
Quietly, Nova shakes her head. “He thought—he called me back to Hoth because of a prison break in one of the sectors Cara doesn’t have jurisdiction in, or I’d suspect she’d have already taken care of it. It was small, just a few criminals with nothing more than petty charges breaking out of a hold somewhere, but he thought it might be related to—”
“The First Order?”
“Me,” Nova finishes, quietly. Her eyes narrow just a fraction, refocusing on Din’s silhouette through the glitter of the galaxy between them. “Yeah, the Order. We couldn’t prove anything, but I—”
“You feel something is coming,” Din interrupts gently, stealing the words right out of her mouth, bracing his strong, gloved hands on the side of the holotable, and Nova nods, watching his grip, starting to get a little dizzy, with lust or with the reflections above them or both. “Don’t you?”
“I do,” she echoes, confirming his theory. “I—I took a detour coming back here. I went to Polis Massa, to try and return to the library archives so I could learn more about Mandalore and bring you back something other than a dead end.”
Din stares at her, his face partially hidden in the glow of the rotating image of the holotable. “You brought yourself back here,” he says, finally, and Nova’s knees buckle a little under the husk of his voice. “It’s hard to care about much else.”
Nova bites down on her lip, butterflies swirling up a storm inside her tummy. “Din,” she whispers, leaning forward on the table, cocking her head in the signature way he always does, lifting her chin slightly with the tilt, “we are tasked with the incredible privilege of saving the galaxy, you know—”
“Fuck the galaxy,” Din breathes, and despite the fact that what he’s wanting to shirk is their top priority, and really has been for months, it buzzes inside Nova, wet and hot. “Let someone else handle it for once. I don’t care.”
“You do care,” she protests, weakly, but his tongue slides out from the hollow of his mouth, and everything else seems to evaporate. “I know—fuck, I don’t know, I know you missed me when I left overnight, I know we’ve been apart more than we’ve been together, but it’s for good reason, and when we save, y’know, the whole galaxy and everything, it…it’ll be all the time in the world for the two of us.”
“I’m impatient,” Din counters, roughly, and then he’s around the table in three quick, determined strides. Nova sighs, letting her body crumple a little as Din moves forward, his hands on her hips, anchoring her pelvis against his. “Don’t make me wait any more for you, cyar’ika, I won’t be able to stand it.”
Nova inhales sharply, feeling him harden against her leg, and she lifts her chin a touch more, enough for their lips to only be an inch apart, enough to make eye contact, enough for all of this to let the rest of the world fade right out. “You know,” she whispers, finally, blood pumping furiously, “you’re the leader of this planet. You could order me to do anything, and I’d be helpless to do anything but comply.”
Din lets out a groan, low and desperate, a choked off, guttural one. “And if I told you I wanted you right here on this table?”
Nova grins, her teeth glittering against the quickening darkness, pulling away only to drape herself over the holotable, face down, letting the spots where her body occupies the space filter out of the reflection. The glow of the lights is disrupted by her figure, and she hears Din’s voice catch in the dark behind her as she arches her back, still fully clothed, an invitation for him to come closer, to take what’s rightfully his. “Then you’d have me right here on this table, Mand’alor.”
She feels Din press up against her, hard against the soft, voluptuous curve of her ass. He inhales, heavily, she can hear it whine through the darkness, not hidden under the evenness of the modulator built into his helmet. Nova knows she’s an expert at getting out of things—sticky situations, clothes, everything in between—but right now, she wants to make Din wait beg for it before she complies. Something to prove that even while he’s the one on the throne, her neck is holding up the crown. At least here. Especially here.
“And if I told you I wanted to fuck you on the floor?”
“Then you’d take me on the floor, Mand’alor. I quite like the floor, you know.”
“You—” Din’s breath cuts off again, and Nova lets the timbre of his voice soak into her. It turns her heart over, first, that excitement tangling up with the knowledge that she’ll let him do anything. It’s been over a week since the last time they fucked, because he’s been spending most of his time in this room, trying to prove to the rest of the planet that he’s worthy enough to hold the throne, and she’s been splitting her time between Grogu and saving the galaxy. All of them necessary evils, deserving distractions, but it’s nearly impossible to think about anything other than the feel of Din up against Nova, his mouth on her neck, his hands on her hips, concerned only with burying himself as deep into her as he possibly can. “I brought you down here to show you the stars. You’re distracting me.”
Nova smiles, then braces her palms on top of the holotable, pushing herself up, gliding her body backwards up against her husband’s. “What an honor,” she purrs, quiet, low, the same kind of voice Din always uses when he wants her so badly it hurts to breathe, “that the king of Mandalore thinks I am a suitable distraction.”
“Novalise.”
“Use me as a distraction, then,” Nova continues, taking hold of one of Din’s gloved hands, guiding them against the curve of her chest, making sure he feels how her nipples harden under his touch, a soft, mewling sound with her mouth completely indicative of the flush of warmth rushing between her legs. “Show me anything you want, oh worthy Mand’alor, please—”
Her breath is cut off as Din whirls her around by her throat. It’s sudden, desperate, the kind of electricity he used to greet her with whenever he finally tracked down the bounty he was hunting and could let loose with her on the Crest.
“Get on,” Din starts, voice raggedly, both hands clenching against Nova’s cheeks, puckering her lips, “the fucking throne, cyar’ika.”
“The—throne?” Nova repeats, breathless. “You want—”
“I want to fuck you on my throne,” Din interrupts, and stars above, she can feel the way that his cock is throbbing in his pants, through the regalia, through the beskar, all of it. “You said anything I want. I want to make you scream my name on the planet we rule while I’m seven inches inside of you. That work for you?”
Nothing but a strangled moan comes out.
Din nods. “Good. Get over there.”
Nova reels back as he releases her. It takes more than a few seconds to collect herself enough to move, and when she does, her legs feel like they’re made out of rubber, elastic and wobbly. She can feel his heavy gaze on her as she makes her way around the holotable, and when she takes the few steps that lead to the ironclad, menacing chair that sits atop the highest point in the room, Din’s voice rings out.
“Stop,” he commands, and she does, feeling her heart hammer. “Face me.”
Nova turns, her breath caught in her throat, staring down at Din. The few steps she’s scaled make her just a tad taller than Din is, and she watches as he slowly moves forward, crossing the tile of the floor with quiet, intentional steps.
“Take your clothes off,” Din manages, and Nova’s almost a hundred percent sure that he’s whispering, even though it might just be that she can’t hear anything over how loud her blood is pumping, over how hard her heart is hammering.
“Now?”
He raises a single dark eyebrow, and Nova nods, trying to peel off her shirt and her trousers as fast as she can. She kicks off her shoes, and they land at the bottom of the steps with a very incriminating thud, but Din just kicks them out of the way as he presses the soles of his beskar boots deliberately against the tile. Everything in here is blue and reflective, even after night has fallen on Mandalore, and Nova catches sight of her silhouette in the floor. Her breath stutters in her throat, suddenly very aware that she’s completely naked and Din, save for his forgotten helmet, is fully clothed, but with the way his eyes are roving over her body like he’s starving and she’s the only thing in this galaxy or the next that can satiate it, she forgets how to care.
“You,” he starts, trailing a single gloved finger down the curve of her body, “are so beautiful.”
“Stop,” she whispers, smiling, everything burning and in flames. It’s the opposite of what she means—she never wants Din to stop calling her beautiful, stop revering her, stop treating her like something holy—but when they’re in a public room that just about anyone left on this planet can walk on, and she’s the only one naked, the risk burns hotter than her desire. “Din, I—”
His finger is on her lips before Nova even realizes he’s moved. “Do you believe me?”
Nova blinks, stuttering over the dying words hidden somewhere between her teeth and the back of her throat. The answer is yes, because Din Djarin never utters a single word that he doesn’t mean, because he uses so few of them to begin with, and also because he’s seen every single inch of her body and worshipped it, but in this reflective room, usually full of figures so much more athletic, razor-sharp, warrior-grade, a tiny bead of insecurity spools down the back of her neck. Nervously, Nova’s gaze filters off of Din’s, flicking over to the ornate door on the other side of the room, and when she looks back, he’s staring at her.
“Nova?” he repeats, gently, and something about the way he’s saying it makes tears spring up in her eyes. “Here. Come here. Look at yourself.”
She lets him guide her over to the throne, which is made out of the shiniest, most reflective beskar she’s ever seen, polished so effortlessly it doubles as a mirror, and Din pulls curls of her dark hair away from her collarbone, fingers grazing the new necklace he gifted her, one hand curling around her jaw, the other sliding down the side of her body.
“Look at yourself,” Din repeats, his touch still so light, and when Nova doesn’t immediately obey, his grip tightens. Not hard, just filled with enough desire to snap her back to her senses—that he took her into this room to fuck her senseless, that his eyes don’t meet anyone else’s, that Din Djarin isn’t a pious man in any other capacity than his Creed and all the rules he broke to worship Nova instead. She relaxes under his touch, her eyes glazing as they travel over the valleys of her naked body. Her skin doesn’t glow in the darkness like it does during the daylight, but it’s a rich brown, three or so shades darker than Din’s. Her eyes, a deep sage green that dips into brown in the darkness, glitter as they flash against the beskar. Her eyelashes, dark and tangled up in the corners from where her laughter lines are. Her nose, not as prominent as Din’s hooked, curved one, but big, slightly upturned, and anchored in the center of her face. Her mouth, plump and perma-stained deep pink from where she bites hard on it in concentration. Her hair, so long now that it trails down to where her curved hipbones protrude, woven into a deeper curl than the natural wave of her hair from the braids it’s always tied back in. Din’s hand on her hip clenches gently at his knuckles, and she lets her gaze shift off of her face, down the stocky muscles of her upper arms, slightly sore from twirling Grogu around and from flying out of her skirmish with the TIE fighters. Her hands are long and elegant, princess fingers, her mother used to call them, dainty and slender, nails kept short to flip all the necessary switches on whatever vessel she’s flying, thumbs worn down with callouses from fighting and twirling Luke’s lightsaber around for the last two weeks, trying to conjure the power he radiates on her own. Down the left side of her tummy, which is rounded and collects weight around her bellybutton, is the scar that Jacterr Calican left in an attempt to rip her soul out of her body, and Din’s finger traces over the bump of it, gentle, endearing, protective. Her hips, which are wide, the curves of her upper legs, the muscles that pack on more weight in her calves. Nova looks at herself and sees, just for a glimpse, just for a split second, that sure, she’s not shaped like a Mandalorian, but she’s certainly desired by one. Din pulls her hair back from where it’s settled against her throat, pressing his lips to her skin.
“What do you see?” he murmurs, his voice deep and electric.
“The girl you love,” Nova whispers, grinning at him in their reflections. Din spins her back around, much gentler than he did a minute ago, all the fire gone, his eyes gentle like the oceans on Yavin.
“Damn right,” Din affirms, the timbre of his voice in her ear making goosebumps spark up across Nova’s bare arms. “Now get on the throne.”
She’s giddy. Her heart is, as usual, racing a thousand beats per minute, threatening to hammer right out of her chest. It’s cold—the throne—cool to the touch. As Nova slowly slides down onto the beskar, she watches Din’s brown eyes flash with lust and longing, and his look alone is enough to take away the chill against her bare skin. The beskar warms to her touch, and she crosses one thick thigh over the other, trying to quell the nervousness that’s still whining at the back of her mind.
“Don’t look at the door,” Din orders, his head cocked to the side. It’s been a few months now since Nova’s seen every single contour of his face, but every new expression not hidden behind the helmet makes her stomach lurch up into her throat. Right now, she can see the tenseness of his command in his clenched jaw, but his eyes soften as they roam over her body. “Look at me.”
“Din—”
“Look at me.”
Nervously, she does. The second her eyes meet his, everything else fades away. In the back of her mind, she’s aware that she’s completely naked, her skin up and against something divine, something not meant for her, this throne that she’s about to be desecrated on.
And sweet Maker above, she doesn’t even care. Din slowly canvasses the distance between the two of them, the intensity of his gaze never once wavering off of Nova’s face. The pure look of animalistic desire on his unmasked face makes her whimper under her breath. If she were weaker, she would cower away, avert her eyes, but by this point, she’s earned her brazenness. There are exactly two things in this galaxy that the ruler of Mandalore, the most ruthless bounty hunter, and the man in front of her would do anything for. Grogu and Nova.
He doesn’t make a noise. Everything is an electric wire as he finds his secure, silent footing on the first step, and Nova’s heart catches in her throat. She wants to say something, to make a silly comment, to cut through the tension, but she knows that whatever’s about to follow Din’s ascent will be worth her quiet. Instead, Nova bites down on her trembling lip, watching the rest of the throne room disappear as Din steps closer, still not making a single noise, pulling his body weight up the lip of each step, staring at her.
“What?” she manages, finally, the word all air.
Din moves closer. Nova’s seated against the throne, the beskar suddenly warm against her bare skin. Everything in her is burning. “What do you want?” Din asks, his voice deep, rumbling through her like a honeyed thunderstorm. He doesn’t even have the modulator to filter his words, and even though the deepness of his voice through the helmet runs rivers through her, Nova’s suddenly glad for the bareness of all of this. It makes it easier, dirtier, better.
“I want you,” Nova manages, hollowly, the words surrender out of her parted lips. “Just you.”
“You want me?” Din repeats, and a flash of lust sparks up behind his beautiful brown eyes. There’s something dangerous in his tone, something deeper, something electric. She stares at him, unwilling to break his gaze. If it were anyone else, Nova would think that the timbre of Din’s voice was teasing, but the edge to it suggests towards pleading.
“Yes,” Nova echoes, and Din moves forward, towering over her. She stares up at him as one gloved hand easily notches against her right cheek, eyelashes fluttering as the pad of Din’s fabric-laden thumb traces over the mountain of her cheekbone. “I want you, Mand’alor—”
“I’m not Mand’alor right now, cyar’ika,” Din interrupts, his voice low and ragged, sparking somewhere in his throat. “Look at who’s on the throne.”
Nova gulps. Air is suddenly impossible to come by. Everything in her is electric, alive. Everything else fades out except for Din’s touch. Her doubt, her insecurity—it’s all been chased away and zapped into obliteration by the way Din’s speaking, touching, breathing. “I—”
“Say my name,” Din says, hooking his free hand under Nova’s chin. She swallows, letting the roughness of his gesture manipulate her body in any way that he wants, pliable against Din’s weathered hands. “Say you want me.”
“Din,” Nova squeaks out, and a single one of his dark eyebrows quirks up against the celestial darkness of the throne room, daring her to speak. “Din Djarin,” Nova rectifies, her voice suddenly loud and clear. It booms out, fills the throne room with sound. For once, the buzzing in her head completely drowns out her fear of being discovered. This palace doesn’t exist. Anyone walking the strange, ornate, blue halls doesn’t exist. Stars above, Mandalore itself doesn’t exist at this point. She’s emboldened, as if her will has flooded back, full-force. “Three things. There’s always three things included in how I want you. I want you without armor. I want you without titles. I want you like I had you back on Dagobah.”
“And how,” Din whispers, his voice running through Nova like heat, “is that?”
She gasps as Din’s hand slowly slips down to her throat, bracing itself there. He barely squeezes, and without all of her senses screaming at her that Din’s hand is against her, she thinks his touch would feel like a ghost, like nothing there at all. “Like we belong to each other,” Nova manages, and Din’s grip intensifies. It’s a slip. She can tell, with the way that his eyes roll back, with the way that a moan slips out from the hollow of his open mouth. Stars blur through her vision—some refracted from the open sky up above, and some from the restriction to her airflow, and she leans into the pressure just as Din retracts his grip.
“Cyar’ika—”
“I belong to you,” Nova whispers, the words sounding like a confessional, deeper and darker than she intended. Her hands find Din’s, wordlessly pulling his hand back to rest like a vice against her throat. “Everything in me is yours. Remember?”
Din squeezes again, and the grin that was hiding slowly spreads across Nova’s face. She knows that in the darkness, her teeth glow white, framed by the plump pinkness of her mouth. Din’s standing, still fully clothed, but she can tell by the way his grip tightens against her throat that he’s rock hard under all that beskar.
“Din,” she manages, her voice high and thready through the pressure of his hand, “what do you want?”
“I want you,” he chokes out, guttural and dangerous, his voice coming from somewhere beyond the horizon. Immediately, he pulls Nova to her feet by her throat, eyes flickering carefully over her own gaze to double-check that what he’s doing isn’t too far. She smiles back at him, and when she’s fully standing, smile still plastered across her starstruck face, she drops her grip on Din’s wrist and immediately moves to unhook his armor. She could do it in the dark. She could do it blind. By now, Nova’s memorized every single inch of Din’s body, whether he’s armored in all of his beskar or not. Even the new additions to his regalia since becoming Mand’alor are burned into Nova’s memory, bright and gleaming. She doesn’t break Din’s gaze as she undresses him, pulling the pauldrons off, the chest plates, the silver V of covering that protects his lower stomach and his crotch. It’s over in what feels like seconds, and then the only thing covering Din is the soft fabric of his underclothes. Nova tugs at his trousers first, pulling them down to reveal the silky feeling of his boxers. She positions herself in between Din’s legs, grabbing his right hip to anchor his hardness against her, and he groans out again, the desperate, wet sound filling up the throne room. It's loud. Too loud. The kind of loud that Din never reaches, not unless they’re the only two people on a planet, not unless they’re lost out there in the crush of space. If his cheeks redden at the sound, though, Nova doesn’t catch it, because her touch is too focused, her vision still spinning off starry, impassioned, loud. Slowly, she reaches up through Din’s weakening grip to pull the shirt off of his torso, breath catching in her throat as she takes the King of Mandalore without armor, without clothes, without anything. Nova smiles up at Din, blinking away the small tears of pleasure that gathered in the corners of her eyes, and then she sinks back down on the throne, squaring her shoulders, tossing her loose hair out of her face, eyes full of allure and desire.
“I want you,” she echoes, and then her mouth is on his stomach. Din gasps out, the sound of it ringing out like infernal bells, and Nova hides her teeth as she grins against his stomach, tongue swirling up and down his belly, fingers grazing like butterfly wings across the bones of his hips. She can feel him growing harder and harder as she teases, parting some of the faint hair that trails down his stomach with the wetness of her mouth. Din’s hands find her shoulders, and his fingers clench down, leaving small half-moons imprinted on either side of her neck. “Can I taste you?”
“W—want you,” Din chokes out, his voice demanding and desperate, but the rocking of his hips against her chest betrays him, and before he can make good on his command, Nova’s already slid every inch of him down her throat. She moans in rhythm with him, as Din’s hands leave her shoulders in a frenzy and instead tangle in her hair, wanting. Quietly, Nova swirls her tongue around the base before she pulls off of his cock with a loud, slurping, sucking noise, and she doesn’t even have time to be embarrassed before she’s sinking her mouth all the way down over Din again, the tears that have returned at the corners of her eyes springing back to life. They feel like satisfaction. She can feel him trembling, and when she drops one of her hands between his legs, lightly cupping his balls, Din cries out again. “Nova—”
“Shh,” she interrupts, which is truly a feat, considering her mouth is full of him and her saliva and not much else, “let me finish you here.”
“No,” Din interrupts, and his voice is strangled, muddled. Immediately, Nova does, pulling her mouth off of him regrettably, blinking up at him, lower lip slowly jutted out. “I k—fuck, I know you wanted to finish me like this, but—but I need you to break in my throne.”
A jolt of lightning strikes through Nova’s body, and she shudders as Din’s shaking grip finds the small of her back and pulls her to her trembling feet. For a moment, everything else evaporates, just the two of them breathing and holding each other, Din’s forehead stooped low to press against hers, and then he whirls her around.
Nova’s used to Din’s manhandling, the expert way he spins and lifts her, like she’s made of nothing but air. This is much clumsier than his usual vigor, and when she’s done a complete 180 and is facing her husband, Mand’alor, the big brave bounty hunter, he’s seated on his throne like he owns it, and his hands are on Nova’s hips in the same place where she was sitting a second ago. There’s something deeper and more intense in his gaze right now, something beyond just lust. It’s power, Nova recognizes as Din pulls her hips down, her knees splaying to the sides of the beskar throne. The metal is unyielding against her bones, but still, she doesn’t feel the impact. Din has collapsed her on top of him, the only thing keeping her upward is his grip and her knees trying desperately to cling onto the straddling position that Din’s holding her in.
For a moment, she just stares at him. He looks like divinity, here, something deeper than just another human being in front of him. Nova doesn’t know if it’s the starry sky spinning through the throne room, or because this feels like a holy place of worship, or if it’s just been weeks since they’ve had longer than a handful of minutes at the end of the day before they both fall asleep, too exhausted and dizzied by their work to touch each other relentlessly, but she feels like she’s spinning. Like this has been months in the making, even though it’s only been a handful of days since Din pulled her down over his lap and anchored her hips to his. Her eyes are on his, desperate, searching. When a single hand trails up to brush against her throat, she eagerly leans into his touch, nodding before his outstretched hand makes contact with her neck, skin on skin.
“You want this?” Din breathes, eyes fixed on her open mouth, and Nova nods against his question, his touch, everything.
“More than anything,” she manages, voice throaty and high, stars spinning beyond her eyes. Din nods in assent, and then his hand is gone, a claw rounded around her hipbones, his fingernails sinking into the plushy flesh. The way he holds her as he grinds her down on top of him is enough to make the rest of the world—and every insecurity—trickle out of Nova. When he pushes inside her, slick and warm and so big from this position, she gasps, the sound of it wet and obscene, too loud for the silent room.
“Fuck,” Din hisses, and then Nova starts moving of her accord. She can’t really feel her knees as they dig into the smooth, impenetrable surface of the beskar throne, but it doesn’t even matter. This is worth never feeling either patella ever again. There’s something humming low and urgent in Din’s throat, his scratchy face buried in Nova’s neck, tongue licking and snapping at her most sensitive pulse point. She groans. “You—you’re perfect, cyar’ika.”
“Not perfect,” she murmurs, hands wrapping around Din’s neck and tangling in his dark hair, eyes fluttering open enough to catch a glimpse at it, her fingers long and beautiful as they tug at his hair.
“Listento yourself,” Din pleads, one of his strong, toned arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her down over and over. In any other situation it would be embarrassing, the sucking noise coming ceaselessly between her thighs, but she’s so wet and so close to the edge that she doesn’t try to obscure it, and doesn’t try to fight Din’s insistent, guttural words. “You’re perfect. Everything about you. Your hips, the—the way they move. Your eyes, rolling back into your skull as I fuck you. Shit, Nova, everything about your pussy, I—”
She can feel her cheeks burning. It’s not often that Din is this vocal, this unhinged, especially not in this situation. It’s dirty and forbidden, and as she bounces up and down on his cock, eyes rolled back like he loves, everything wet and slippery between her legs, she forgets all about the fact that they’re naked and desecrating the throne of Mandalore. It’s everything. It’s so much, and when she’s right on the edge of orgasm, Din grinds his hips up into her.
“Din—”
“I want to show you off,” he grits out, and before she can ask him what he means, he’s lifting her off of him like she weighs fucking nothing, pushing himself down to the hilt inside her as she watches the empty throne room, the empty seats around the holotable, watched by the lifeless warriors painted on the wall. She doesn’t try to hide any part of her body. Din’s still whispering every dirty sound he can think of in her ear, one broad arm wrapped around her waist, the other hand tangled up in Nova’s hair.
“To whom?” she asks, the words barely even air. She’s on the edge still, eyes blinking, torso trembling. She wants Din to let her cum so bad, she can barely hear what he’s saying over the pumping rush of blood in her ears.
Din lifts up a lock of hair, the same stubborn wave that always falls in her face, tucking it gently behind her year. For a second, she sees red, legs shaking, completely subject to whatever Din’s doing. “Everyone,” he whispers, and the shock of how guttural and feral his voice sounds sends Nova right over the edge she’d been teetering on. He makes her cum so hard that everything explodes out into the same number of stars shimmering above, divine and dangerous, white-hot, so, so alive. And before she has a chance to gain her senses back, Din’s dragging and rushing as deep into her as he can, every inch of him warm and desirable, and when he lets go to follow Nova over the edge of the cliff they’re both standing on, she gasps as he fills her, hot and thick. It’s so much harder than the last time they fucked, both of them devastated, exhausted, fulfilled.
Nova leans back against Din’s chest, heaving, spinning, trying to catch her breath. They’re both inhaling and exhaling intently, trying to return back to the planet they rule, to the throne they just fucked on. “Well,” she starts, pulling the long waves off her back, looking over her bare shoulder at Din, “wow.”
He laughs, and he’s still inside her, slowly softening as he comes back down from the high of it, pressing his pink lips against her exposed skin. “High praise.”
“It’s the truth,” she whispers, giggling, suddenly remembering where they are. “I—I can’t believe we just did that—”
“We’re newlyweds,” Din interrupts, his voice still rough from the aftermath of sex, and something sparks up low in Nova’s belly as he talks, “plus I’m the ruler of this planet, remember?”
She grins, tipping her shoulder back into his bare chest, trailing her fingers over his tan skin, tracing fault lines she’s never seen but knows are there. “I like power on you.”
“Nova—���
“No, seriously,” she continues. “It’s hot. Do you get a crown, maybe? Do I?”
“I think one of us will have to duel Bo-Katan for that one,” Din groans, and Nova laughs again, sliding off of his lap, slowly pulling together the pieces of armor she discarded earlier, tossing them through the dark air for Din to collect. The mention of Bo-Katan, though, sends a shiver of a reminder down Nova’s very exposed spine. She pulls her own underclothes on, quickly whipping her tank top back over her head, suddenly remembering how cold it is in here when she’s not writhing between the proverbial sheets with her husband. She bites down on her lip, hastily zipping her trousers up, the noise loud and discordant. “Nova,” Din continues, squinting at her, “what’s wrong?”
“Oh,” she says, dazed, tossing the last piece of armor back over to him, “you know, we—we just desecrated a holy part of Mandalore, we don’t know how the hell to fight off the First Order, and Bo-Katan is probably standing right outside that door, ready to kick both of our asses.”
“She,” Din answers, pushing against the heavy beskar doors, “is not here. We’re working on how to stop the Order. And this holy part of Mandalore,” he breathes, walking back towards her, one eyebrow raised, as if he’s questioning the way his face is displaying expression, “is ours to desecrate.”
“When you said,” Nova breathes, staring back at him, everything else fading out, “that you wanted to show me off to everyone—”
Din suddenly looks sheepish, and she giggles. “Nova, I didn’t—I was just into the moment, if you don’t want to—you never have to, I—”
She grins, smile glittering in the dark, sliding past him and into the empty hall, drifting in the general direction of their bedroom. “I didn’t say,” she whispers coyly, holding out one hand for Din’s gloved one, “that I didn’t want to.” She winks, pulling a still-stammering Din behind her. “I just can’t believe you want to share me with anyone.”
They’re up the stairs and back to the entrance to the master bedroom, and Din finally finds his words—or his grip—and grabs her, twirling Nova back into his arms with the force of the bounty hunter that he used to be. “You’re mine,” he whispers. “I won’t let a single person in this galaxy forget it.”
Nova grins, heart doing backflips in her chest. By the time they finally make their way into the suite, it’s dark across the whole wide expanse of sky, and Grogu is asleep in their bed, comically small compared to the king-size that takes up most of the room. “I know,” she whispers, looking back and forth from her husband to their son, a smile etched into her lips. “We should get to bed,” she murmurs, after a second, and Din nods, pulling off the armor and his underclothes in his silent Mandalorian way, Nova weaving her hair back into her usual braid, feeling the bruises from her knees banging forcefully into the beskar throne.
“What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?” Din asks, both of them gently pulling the pillows that line the bed onto the ground, until it’s empty except for their usual spread and the baby’s tiny body. His eyes drift down to Grogu, and so do Nova’s. He knows. She knows. Neither of them want to say it aloud. It’s time for Grogu to go back with Luke and resume his Jedi training, even though none of them want him gone. Nova swallows.
“You know,” she tries, halfheartedly trying to lift her voice into excitement, “Back to business.”
Din rolls over, facing Nova in the darkness. “You don’t have to,” he whispers, and she knows losing Grogu again, even though it’s to Luke Skywalker, even though they’ll be able to fix it, is wreaking havoc on him too. Nova settles down next to him, ears focused only on the miniscule snores of Grogu’s open mouth, her hand finding Din’s, her eyes falling over where Luke’s lightsaber is hanging ceremoniously by the door.
“But I do,” she answers, finally, closing her tired eyes. “We have a galaxy to save. And I,” she breathes, snuggling in closer to the baby, “have a Jedi to see.”
*
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I HOPE YOU LOVED IT!!!! whether you're a returning reader or a longtime lover, i m so happy you're here with Din, Nova, Grogu, and me. i just simply could not stay away from this story, and i cannot wait to go across the stars and back with the second fic in the series!! leave all your thoughts in the comments here, or find me over at tumblr @ amiedala, or scroll through my tiktok @ padmeamydala
CHAPTER 2 WILL BE UP SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11TH, @ 7:30 PM EST!
xoxo, amelie
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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 3 years ago
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The d’Avenir Treatise on the Essentials of Monster Hunting (Vol I) - Preface and Introduction
The timing of this whole thing with the campaign is pretty amazing, as it turns out. In the middle of absolute work hell and attempts to sort out my general apartment/living situation, a little while ago I entered a fic into the /r/CurseOfStrahd second annual fanfic contest. It was one of my attempts to kind of write out and process the way our own run through the module went, stretch out some poor, suffering, unused writing muscles, and it was also super duper self-indulgent. So I'm very, very proud to say it won first place amidst some really great competition, and super happy to rep my best girl Ez.
Summary: In the aftermath of Strahd's destruction and the not-quite-loss of her mentor, Ezmerelda d'Avenir sets out to tie up loose ends and lay some ghosts to rest, and continues carving out a path for herself in the Domains of Dread.
Word count: 9999, as there was a 10k limit. I had fun.
Rating/Warnings: T, with canon-typical violence, and dealing with death and loss in a general gothic horror setting. Spoilers for the Curse of Strahd module.
---
The d’Avenir Treatise on the Essentials of Monster Hunting (Vol I) - Preface and Introduction
Being a compendium of successes, failures, tricks, and warnings relating to detecting, tracking, fighting, and ultimately destroying undead, fiends, lycanthropes, and assorted monstrosities.
-
1.1. Introductory remarks
Their ride back to town is a quiet one. The silence is broken only once they are sitting, their hunting and travelling gear half-unpacked and strewn about, in the library just above van Richten's herbalist shop.
"Were we in any other profession, this would be a cause for celebration," van Richten's lips twist into a bittersweet wisp of a smile, and he pushes a warm cup of tea into her hands. "A demonstration of pride in an apprentice's first job well done, for all to see and revel in."
Ezmerelda tries to look up at him and meet his gaze properly, but her shoulders, her head, her eyes all feel too heavy. A leaden weight seems to have settled on every bit of her. She is tired, bone-deep, but the very thought of lying down and closing her eyes to attempt to sleep fills her with disgust and no small amount of dread. She knows exactly what she will see. The man, just on the cusp of middle age, entirely unremarkable at first... features quickly twisting into a mask of monstrous hunger, then to wide-eyed horror, and, finally, resorting to desperate pleas for mercy as the stake hits home and his screeching form dissolves to ash. 
It feels like the ash still coats the back of her mouth. The tea smells of strong herbs, with just a whiff of something even stronger that van Richten must have snuck in from the liquor cabinet. Her hands clench around the cup, and a burning need to justify and defend herself drives her to finally speak up.
"I was ready," she insists. "I am ready."
"I know," van Richten replies, softly, sadly.
The tea scalds her tongue, but she drinks it anyway.
---
Getting up from the damp, cold floor of the tomb again feels like an impossibility. She can barely keep her head above the ground, eyes stinging with a mixture of blood and sweat and the glare of pure, magical sunlight. The clawed gashes on her ribcage burn with every weak, hard-won breath, and a metallic taste coats the back of her tongue.
But she is not done yet. She has one last lightning bolt left in her, and Strahd and his dusk elf lackey are so beautifully, perfectly aligned. Ezmerelda can't keep her lips from curling up into a smirk as she raises an arm and mutters her incantation, feeling that familiar tickle of static rising all around her.
She holds on, builds it up as much as she can, teeth grinding together, ears buzzing - until she can hold on no longer, and the energy flies from her, the flash near-blinding, the roar of accompanying thunder ringing in her ears.
She sees it hit home, the first traces of foggy vapour swirling around Strahd's convulsing form, and a beautiful satisfaction fills her. 
Then, she lets herself go.
An instant or an eternity later someone is shaking her into jarring and painful wakefulness, jostling her head against the rough floor. Her mouth is filled with the bitter aftertaste of a potion, and she grimaces as she feels the familiar residue on her lips and chin.
"Fine, fine, old man, relax, I'm up," she manages, slurring the words, struggling to blink her eyes open and into focus. "I'm awake. Stop it."
But it's not him.
It is Ireena, wide-eyed gaze somehow growing wider still at her words. The reason for this becomes abundantly and agonisingly clear as she points to somewhere behind Ezmerelda... to where Rudolph van Richten lies, very pale and very still, a greater and more profound calm upon him than she has ever witnessed.
"No."
She didn't even see him fall.
"Why didn't you help him?" Ezmerelda knocks the empty potion bottle away, and it clatters loudly against the stone, finally finding rest near a streak of dark ashes. "What are you waiting for, what--"
"I tried. It was... it's too late," Ireena whispers, "I'm sorry." 
Ezmerelda feels shame flood her immediately at the misaimed anger. "No. No, I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I'm sorry. I just-- wait." Awareness of just where they are and what they were in the middle of doing suddenly overwhelms her, and she feels panic crawl up her spine. "Is it over? Did you stake that bastard once and for all?"
Ireena nods, mouth curling in visible distaste. "I did, just like you said to. Your last hit - it was enough to force him to turn into mist, and then, when... when he reformed in the coffin, I did it."
The relief Ezmerelda feels at that is so bitter it burns. "I missed it, then," she murmurs, and feels ridiculous immediately afterwards. Ireena shakes her head, and helps her sit up.
She allows herself a few precious moments of rest against the cold, damp wall of the crypt, eyes painfully locked on van Richten's still, still form. As soon as she feels half-capable of moving, she all but drags herself to his side. Feeling for a pulse, a breath, anything at all to help her disbelieve what is plainly before her eyes.
She finds no such thing. He's dead, and it feels like a stake through her own heart. After all her efforts, after getting into Barovia just to get the damned foolish old man off his self-destructive warpath and out, only to lose him now, to fail right at the end...
A pale shimmer falls over the scene before her, like a curtain right before her eyes. Ezmerelda blinks and shakes her head, but can't make it go away. She reaches up, and--
Erasmus all but swoops down to be face to face with her.
It takes her a moment to properly grasp what she is seeing. Erasmus. Somehow still there, his ghostly form hovering over his father's body. Gesturing at her wildly, pointing down at something, and, finally, using his ectoplasmic paint to draw... a circle within a circle, hanging in mid-air.
She follows his wordless instructions to the best of her current ability and, with some painfully suppressed reluctance, looks down at van Richten. And there on his finger is a ring that was certainly not there before.
Erasmus seems insistent and quite unusually agitated, so Ezmerelda takes the ring, trying not to register the coldness of the hand it was on, and puts it on numbly, feeling utterly beyond thought.
Suddenly, cutting through the fog that seems to have descended upon her mind, bubbling up like an idea from her own consciousness, a thought - a voice. A familiar voice.
'Ezmerelda? Ah. I see. Well, that could have gone decidedly better.'
She feels tears welling up in her eyes, an unstoppable burning in her chest. She wants to laugh until she can't breathe, or sob her lungs raw. 
Instead, she sits back against the cool stone wall. As the adrenaline wears off, she becomes more aware of the extent of her injuries: the sting where foul claws raked across her midsection and upwards; the burns of magical fire on her palms. She fishes out the last potion from her pocket, and downs it in one greedy gulp. The relief is near-instant.
Her faculties at least somewhat returned to her, she opts for a laugh as she recognises the ring for what it is. Ireena looks at her with some concern, but Ezmerelda waves it away.
"A ring of mind shielding. Protect the mind, and store the soul, should the worst happen. Of course you of all people would come so prepared."
Ezmerelda twists the ring on her finger, marvels at the detailed engraving.
"Should I... we could... there's ways. To get you back. I mean..." 
She trails off, and there is a brief pause before the voice in her mind pipes up again. 'No. No, I think, at long last, it is time for me to stop. And rest.' 
Even though her entire being wishes to rail against this, to insist on the need for Rudolph van Richten to exist, and protest the injustice (just when she'd gotten him back!), Ezmerelda manages, barely, a soft, "I understand." 
'There is still some work to do before that, though, no? Loose ends for us to take care of before, well...' 
That, she feels far more comfortable with. It almost comes as a relief. "Yes, of course. First order of business, we will sit down, and we will work out a plan. And we will stick to that plan." 
There is a soft chuckle in her mind. 
"What's so funny? You love plans." 
She imagines, in better, happier days, the old man - only slightly less old - shaking his head at her with a long-suffering smile. 
'Thank you for humoring me, is all I'll say. Now, go handle things here properly and finish up, while I think of a list of priorities for us. Miss Kolyana is waiting for you.' 
-
1.2. A brief reflection on personal experience
Ezmerelda is pulled into a room, hand clamped over her mouth. The door slams shut, and she almost stumbles as she is suddenly released.
"What in all the realms are you doing here?" The colourful half-elf carnival master hisses at her in a voice decidedly unlike the one he was just using in the downstairs taproom. Now that they are close, she can see the magical disguise of the Great Rictavio is utterly impeccable, but the eyes... the eyes are unmistakable. 
They are also flooded with the closest thing to panic Ezmerelda has ever seen in them.
"I'm here to help you. You don't stand a chance on your own."
"How did you find me?"
Ezmerelda shrugs noncommittally, and doesn't look behind him. "I have my ways."
He shakes his head. "That isn't good enough. If his agents - and there are many, I assure you! - catch even a whiff--"
She finally glances at the ghostly form of Erasmus, just barely visible over Rictavio's shoulder, unable to be perceived by the one man he wishes he could reach out to and reassure. He meets her eyes and holds his finger up to his lips.
"I recognised your horse," she says, at long last. 
"Dear Drusilla? Oh..." Rictavio seems to almost deflate at that, though his nervous pacing doesn't slow. 
Erasmus' visage shows what has to be gratitude, or relief, or both. Then he closes his eyes, seemingly tired, and the shimmering remnants of him disappear from view. 
"Damned stubborn, foolish girl..." Rictavio moves deftly around the small room, securing the shutters on its single window, locking the door from the inside, gaze darting around wildly. Then he reaches up and removes his hat, and Rudolph van Richten, looking more old and more worn than Ezmerelda was perhaps ever prepared to see, stands in his place.
"I had a plan, you know," he sighs, tossing the hat onto the bed. "One that I can now no doubt forget about entirely."
"There's no time for your endless preparation and planning. Any waiting game we try to play is a losing one. There's a young woman who desperately needs our help, a legendary weapon to be found, and there's a monster to hunt, feeding on an entire land. I've been to the castle, scouted out--" 
"You've done what?" 
Ezmerelda doesn't look at him and chooses to pace a small circle around the room herself. "The castle. Ravenloft. Getting in was a breeze - getting out was the hard part." She suppresses a brief shudder at the memory of her invisibility spell running out and Strahd's eyes boring directly into hers, as if he'd known she was there all along. "But, well, I managed. And more importantly, I found a way into his crypt."
Van Richten sits down on the bed, rubbing circles into his forehead.
"Ezmerelda, you can't be here." His voice sounds pained, almost. "You know you are not safe near me. My curse--" 
"Sincerely, fuck your curse," Ezmerelda spits. "After all these years, it can wait a few days before striking. Can't be worse than what will happen to both of us and anyone involved if we can't manage to work together on this. We have to. I tried, by myself, but..." 
She tries not to dwell on the terribly brief confrontation, the bite of the cold, cold grasp that seemed to steal the very life out of her, and her rather desperate escape.
"Ezmerelda," van Richten starts again, then pauses, and just looks at her - a long, heavy look. "Why?"
"There are still people who care about your well-being," she replies simply and softly, "no matter what you may believe." 
Then she straightens her shoulders and allows the steel back into her voice. "So listen to me. We are going to stake that devil in his lair, and we are going to get out of this cursed land. Together."
For once, he doesn't argue.
---
Their lord and master may be gone, but there are plenty of foul things still crawling around Castle Ravenloft - and occasionally crawling out of it as well.
How lucky for the Village of Barovia, then, to have a monster hunter visiting.
"...so I think that should do it for that particular area of the barracks," Ezmerelda flicks a stray bit of zombie gunk off of her bracer, then casts an apologetic look at Ireena. "But who knows what else he has buried under there."
Ireena Kolyana, the girl haunted, hunted, and tormented by the vampire, deciding she's had enough of running, turning on him and wielding a sword of pure sunlight against him. Poetic justice, if Ezmerelda fancied herself a poet.
Ireena Kolyana, looking exhausted in a very different way, now caught up in burgomaster duties, barely finding time in her overstuffed schedule to hear about the results of Ezmerelda's latest expedition to the castle.
"You know," Ezmerelda begins, eyeing the stacks of papers and growing chaos on the desk between them, "if you ever get really tired of this, and miss life on the road..." she nods towards the window, and the wagon just outside it. "I have room for one more. And could always use a deft hand with a sword." 
Ireena smiles, but the sadness underpinning it is palpable. "I can't, not now at least. There is too much to take care of here. And without Ismark..." a shadow falls briefly over her face, then she visibly forces it back. "Some day, maybe. I would honestly love to." 
Ezmerelda nods, then moves to stand up, and holds out a hand expectantly. "Come on, you have time for a walk. A minute to escort me out and say goodbye, at least."
Ireena chuckles quietly and shakes her head, but pushes away from the desk and takes the proffered arm. 
The sunlight is bright, tempered only by a wisp of white cloud here and there. Ezmerelda feels a light pull on her arm as Ireena stops on the threshold of the house for just a fraction of a moment. The hesitation is brief, barely noticeable, but the pause as if needing to catch her breath and the subsequent dawning joy - pure, almost radiant by itself - as the sunlight hits her skin--
Ezmerelda realises she's staring, blinks, and makes herself look away.
Their stroll is indeed brief, and as soon as they turn the corner and reach the parked wagon, Ireena sighs and stands half-ready to hurry back to her office and her duties.
"Hey," Ezmerelda puts what she hopes is a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I know you can handle all of this. Never doubt that." 
This wins her a sincere smile. "Thank you."
Knowing there's no more point in delaying, Ezmerelda pulls away, moves to arrange her things around the wagon and prepare to leave. 
"The offer stands," she says as she climbs into the driver's seat. "Keep it in mind."
"Maybe next time," Ireena replies with another sad smile. But then she pauses for a moment, almost as if thinking something over. Then she darts in quickly, and kisses Ezmerelda's cheek.
"Don't stay away too long," she says, quietly, then draws away again. Ezmerelda nods her agreement, and takes up the reins of her conjured horses.
Ireena waves her goodbye, and stands, looking on, bathed in sunlight. 
And then the road turns, and she disappears from Ezmerelda's view.
'Well.'
"Shut up." Ezmerelda can feel her face burning. "Absolutely no need to read into things." 
'You know I mean no offense. I only want the best for you.' 
"I am perfectly fine," Ezmerelda grumbles. "Besides, this is the last thing she needs right now." 
'You don't know that. Ask her sometime, perhaps, to tell you herself. Too many people have assumed too much about that young lady, I think. Myself included.' 
"Oh, what do you know..."
There is a distinct sensation of stinging grief, never quite healed, as the voice comes again. 'You seem to forget I was young once. In love once. More... than once. And though it never ended well, like few things in my life did, the only thing I have ever regretted was not acting sooner. And regret is...' 
"... the enemy of progress. I know." Ezmerelda sighs, the old man's oft-repeated saying rattling around in her mind as she snaps the reins and takes them down the road westward. "Maybe next time."
-
1.3. Materials and methods, an overview
Her balance is off still, but the past few weeks have brought incredible improvement. She flicks her rapier upwards, then lunges - back, forth, back, forth, fully and properly bearing weight on her right side in the training yard for the first time in months. The new prosthetic is truly a work of art and a masterful display of craftsmanship. Ezmerelda feels almost giddy at the sensation of ducking and weaving under the wooden limbs of the training dummy, feinting deftly, ignoring the burn in her arm and shoulder. The maneuvers are not yet close to her peak speed and fluidity and elegance, not after the long, arduous recovery she is only now reaching the end of. But it is all so very, very promising.
It also brings to mind - because how could it not, when for the better part of the past half-year she has had more time to think, and remember, and reflect than in her entire life? - van Richten's drills. He was always far more of a theoretician than practitioner of swordfighting, but he was certainly no slouch with a blade. The precision and perfection of form he insisted on instilling in her initially seemed to clash with her more free, improvisational, off-the-cuff approach, but ended up blending with it to great effect in ways that occasionally surprised them both.
She goes through attack patterns he's drilled into her and realises she misses him, the cantankerous old man and all his frustrating ways, and suddenly finds herself fervently wishing she wasn't doing this alone. She spares a moment to imagine the amount of fussing over her he would likely have insisted on, with his overprotective bedside manner that she used to chafe and scoff at whenever one of their hunts went badly for her. She thinks of all the lovely, fleeting drawings Erasmus would have made for her.
Her next step is careless, thoughtless, distracted, and as a result only a little off. The lunge is misaimed, unbalanced, and her knee twists unpleasantly. For the briefest flash of a moment she could swear she can feel the teeth sinking in again, and the horrible tearing.
Ezmerelda winces, fingers clenched around the rapier's handle, knuckles white. Her teeth grit as the wave of pain subsides so very, very slowly, but doesn't quite go away. She remembers, belatedly, that she has an audience.
"Ah, almost there," she calls back to the artisan eagerly awaiting her feedback, voice forcefully kept steady, without turning to face them, and taps her rapier on the metal plating running up from the heel. "We'll need to make another slight adjustment to the ankle joint, I think. But this is definitely and by far the best one yet. Let me get some more practice first, and we can go over the details in the afternoon."
Ezmerelda doesn't wait to see if her words are acknowledged. She hefts the rapier back up.
---
Before she reaches the first crossroads west of Vallaki, she turns the wagon south and into the woods.
"I have some unfinished business of my own to settle first," Ezmerelda states very matter-of-factly, preempting any interrogation from the ring's general direction.
The wagon trail to the top of the hill is easier to navigate than ever, and the camp is abuzz with activity, as it usually is. But this time the feel of it all is a bit different.
Ezmerelda knows it well; the air of a caravan packing up to leave.
Arabelle sees her weaving through the horses, strolling towards the large central tent, and darts towards her immediately, then freezes not three feet away. Ezmerelda can tell plain as the new Barovian day that she is torn between looking dignified and throwing herself at her in a hug.
So she crouches down and opens her arms first, and is almost knocked over when Arabelle rushes in. 
"I want to show you something I've been practicing," Arabelle whispers conspiratorially, "but you'll need to lend me a dagger."
Ezmerelda's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but she obliges the girl after only a moment's contemplation, still crouched down and one arm around her narrow shoulders.
The dagger is one of the smaller ones she usually keeps concealed, but even so it seems far too large in Arabelle's hands. Nevertheless, in a few surprisingly dextrous motions with only a couple of moments of hesitation, she seems to make it disappear - then produces it again as if out of thin air.
"Huh. Impressive. Did your uncle teach you that little trick?"
Arabelle nods, but her pride is palpable. "Papa was so mad! He says that both him and you are a bad influence and I am far too young to be handling blades."
"There's no such thing," Ezmerelda scoffs, but motions for her dagger back and tucks it away safely. "Where is your father? I wanted to speak with him."
"Luvash is busy," another voice cuts in cooly, and Arrigal steps out of the fading, scarce shadows, somehow slipping under her notice even with the bright streams of sunlight all around. "But you can speak with me."
Ezmerelda stands up slowly, and can see him sizing her up.
"Run along now, Arabelle," Arrigal says in a much warmer tone of voice, but without taking his eyes off Ezmerelda for even a moment.
Arabelle gives her one last look as she turns to leave, and Ezmerelda tries to give her a reassuring smile - but then she realises Arabelle doesn't seem concerned or reluctant or... anything at all. She seems supremely calm, and not seven years old at all.
Arrigal steps forward and, even as uncannily quiet as he always is, it startles her back into the moment. Then, he reaches out a hand.
Ezmerelda meets his gaze, steps forward, and takes it. The handshake is firm, and she smirks. "Looks like you backed the losing side, cousin."
The term of address rolls off her tongue with some bite of irony in it. Arrigal inclines his head in acknowledgement. "You can't say it wasn't a fairly sure bet. A matter of survival, of course. We do what we must to keep our people safe. But," and he draws a bit closer, as if letting her in on a secret. "I'm glad he didn't send me after you."
Ezmerelda nods, and decides she isn't in the mood for a debate. "You know, so am I. I would have hated having to kill you. Instead, here you are, in an excellent position for a little introspection, changing your ways... much better this way, isn't it?"
He shakes his head with a grin, and finally lets go of her hand. "You are a menace. But we follow the traditions, and you have a place here. Where are you going?"
"Borca," she says, and pointedly doesn't elaborate further.
Arrigal laughs. "Off to more of your grim business right away! Well, one has to admire your tenacity. You can stay, of course, and leave with us tomorrow. We will share the road at least part of the way."
So Ezmerelda stays, and exchanges news of recent caravan routes and planned Mist-traversal with Luvash. The fire roars to life as the sun sets. Tales are told, and she contributes some of her own.
"Regale us, cousin," Arrigal says, grinning wolf-sharp, arms open wide as if to encompass the entire camp, "with the story of the fall of the devil Strahd." 
Arabelle is a delight, as always. The truce with Arrigal, if it can be called that, is uneasy, but holds. The ring is quiet.
Arabelle insists on riding with her in the morning ("You did fish her out of that lake... brought her back to us," Luvash grumbles. "I suppose there's no harm... I'll have none of that monster-hunting nonsense, though!"). Her delight at the summoned magical horses is palpable, even as she tries to hide it. Ezmerelda gives her the reins until they need to enter the Mists, and is only slightly surprised to see her managing well, with just a few pointers here and there.
The whole way, Arabelle demands stories of her and van Richten's exploits very matter-of-factly - interrogates, almost, at times. Her eyes are large, intent, focused, as Ezmerelda obliges, for hours. 
"I knew you would win," Arabelle says at one point, breaking a rare longer stretch of silence between them. "Uncle didn't want to listen to me, but I knew."
Ezmerelda looks at her, matches her seriousness. "I hope he will learn to listen, one day soon."
-
1.4. Common pitfalls
Ezmerelda inches back to consciousness more than wakes, and hisses as she almost reflexively tries and fails to sit up. She recognises her own bed in the former guest room above the herbalist shop, but the details of how she got there are fuzzy at best, completely absent at worst. She is, however, very aware of a merciless pounding in her head and that she has most certainly just pulled some fresh stitches.
A swirl of colourful ectoplasm greets her when she next opens her eyes, Erasmus' fleeting but always lovely and cheerful greetings hovering above her.
Well. Ezmerelda forces a pained smile at him, knowing that if he is here, his father cannot be far, and--
Ah. Familiar footsteps on the stairs, and the distinct creak of the second one from the top, as Rudolph van Richten enters the room with uncanny timing. 
He doesn't seem to be surprised to see her awake as he gives her a quick look-over, even as concern and frustration clearly war on his face.
"I thought we had reached an agreement," he begins at last, very deliberately calmly.
Ezmerelda doesn't reply.
"I thought," he continues with that same calm tone, "that we had made a plan. That was my distinct impression of our last conversation."
Ezmerelda clenches her teeth, then grinds out, "I couldn't just stand by and let that beast--"
"You could have voiced your disagreements with the plan and brought your concerns to me, instead of running off on your own in the middle of the night," van Richten is clearly struggling to keep his voice level. "You almost died."
"Fine, I am voicing my disagreements. We know it's a wereboar. Just go at it with our silvered weapons, set up an ambush where we found its lair... why wait? Why give it more chances to hurt people?"
"To be absolutely certain we have all the information. That we have looked at it from every angle, that we have not overlooked a crucial detail. Minimise its chances to hurt us."
"But by then it might have mauled half the village to death, or worse!"
Van Richten's gaze on her is sharp. "And if we get ourselves pointlessly killed, are the villagers any safer for our hasty, brash, ill-thought sacrifice?"
"Hasty, brash, and ill-thought. Fine, if that’s how it is, how you think of me," Ezmerelda throws her hands up, and wishes she could march off, slamming a door shut behind her for good measure, as childish as the thought makes her feel.
Van Richten sighs deeply, and pulls up a chair to sit next to her bed. Ezmerelda recognises it as one from downstairs, and feels a small stab of guilt at the thought of him setting up a vigil at her bedside.
"We can't go rushing in on half-checked information," van Richten begins, after a brief silence, looking down at his hands. "We can't, because... because I have done that, in the past. And people - good, brave, dedicated people who chose to stand against evil, people who trusted me - died as a result."
"I have been wrong," he continues, still not looking up. "I have followed faulty sources without the due diligence of thorough enough vetting. I have overlooked things, and I have lost many. I will not and cannot allow that to happen again. We have to be careful, patient, and vigilant, always."
"I'm not advocating for blindly rushing in," Ezmerelda protests, "I'm merely--"
"I won't have you on my soul as well. I have far too many already."
"And I won't have any more innocents on mine! We had all the relevant information two days ago. Four people could have been alive today if we had acted on time. We were right."
"And what about when you aren't, Ezmerelda? What about when you aren't?"
Ezmerelda looks him right in the eyes, steely. "Then I will make sure I am the one who pays the price for my own mistakes."
"Oh," van Richten smiles sadly, "If only that were possible."
---
The letter arrives just as she is preparing, to her great relief, to leave Port-à-Lucine for good. It is hand-delivered by an ostentatiously dressed man in a stylised fox mask, entirely - and Ezmerelda feels her lips curl in annoyance - unassuming and usual for the land of outrageous pretense that is Dementlieu. The way he seems to disappear in the moment it takes for her to glance down at what he has thrust into her hands is also something Ezmerelda finds hard to marvel at anymore.
Overjoyed to be able to return to the relative privacy and safety of her wagon, she tosses away her old harlequin mask in the sincere hopes of never having to put the damn thing on again. Then she throws herself on the bed and focuses on tearing into the sealed envelope, absorbing its mysterious contents.
After she reaches the end of the letter's brief text, she stays very still for a long while.
'Not a name I thought I would see again, if I am to be honest,' van Richten's voice comes slowly, sounding very wary.
Ezmerelda breathes out a frustrated sigh, an unidentifiable jumble of feelings warring in her chest and burning up her throat. She tries to reply several times, then stops, and closes her eyes. Collects herself, at least somewhat, and decides to focus on the practical. "How do we even know this isn't a forgery, or some sort of trap?"
'We don't. But it is a loose end I, for one, am not prepared to simply overlook.'
"She's tried before, but I never... I don't have time for this right now, I--," she throws the letter and the shredded envelope onto the chest at her bedside, and runs an annoyed hand through her hair, again, and again, and again. Thinking, or at least trying to. 
'We have time. You and I both know it's not time that is the problem.'
They are nearing the end of their planned journey, finishing up their business with Alanik Ray and Arthur Sedgwick's latest investigations and bidding farewell to Dementlieu. And then it was supposed to be on to Mordent, to call in at the Mordentshire shop briefly, and afterwards to Darkon - to Rivalis, and the villages surrounding the old Richten estate. Some ghouls to fight off, wraiths to purge, ghosts to lay to rest, to help the villagers out, before... well. They'll come to that when they do.
Ezmerelda can't deny the detour would only be a brief one.
"A 'loose end'," she huffs. "Really."
'I am just trying to help you. Don't waste years of your life like I have, either bitter or wondering or fleeing. Confront your - our - past, at least this part. Lay it to rest, if you can.'
"The past does not lie behind us. It is part of what we are, and part of what we always will be," Ezmerelda recites, then sighs again. "Old Vistani saying."
A moment of silence. 'Make sure it is a good part, then.'
-
Ezmerelda's memory of her mother feels... not fuzzy, but perhaps a bit tweaked and twisted over the years, more by feelings overtaking it than by any fault of recall. The images of what she remembers and what now stands before her don't match, but have a strange, dissonant overlap, leaving visible in the centre a woman Ezmerelda could almost, almost imagine seeing in the mirror. One she hoped to never see again after that night of wordless parting, many years ago. 
Years of imprisonment seem to have been surprisingly kind to Madame Irena Radanavich. She has wormed her way into some kind of favour with someone powerful here, no doubt, as has always been her utterly unscrupulous way. The cell is clearly a formality, more of an office than anything, a parlour for receiving agents and lackeys, as well as bosses. There is even a chair - a worn, old wooden frame with faded red upholstery - placed a little ways away from the bars, facing them. Ezmerelda also gets a distinct impression that the guard standing in the corner is not there for any visitor's safety or protection.
The woman in the cell seems to light up the moment she sets eyes on Ezmerelda strolling into the cell space with a pretense of casualness.
"My, how you've grown! My, and yet-- oh, darling," concern seems to flood her face and voice, and - there, a subtle, wry twist - Ezmerelda thinks she catches a false, even mocking undertone to it. A flash, and it’s gone, and perhaps she merely imagined it, or even wanted it to be there, an ache for some semblance of simplicity to box this woman in. "There's both more and less of you than last time I saw you." 
"Really?" Ezmerelda scoffs, and almost wants to laugh. "All those tales I've heard of your vicious, clever, insidious scheming, and that's the best you can come up with?" She crosses her arms, and clicks her metal heel against the floor loudly. "Not an angle you can use against me, I'm afraid. Try again." 
"You wound me!" A dramatic hand placed over her chest. "Treating your own mother like that, who has never had anything but your best interests at heart. Who you've never even come to visit."
Ezmerelda slips the opened letter through the bars, letting it land on the hewn stone on the other side. Then she moves to sit down on the solitary chair.
"I'm only here because I got your letter."
"Oh! Good. My dearest Ezmerelda, I was--"
"I am here to tell you I want you to leave me alone," Ezmerelda continues, acting as if she hasn't heard a word. "For good. Forget I exist, preferably. I want nothing to do with you, and I never will. And the only thing I might want to do with your plotting and scheming is foiling it, so it is in your best interest to leave me out of it all. And van Richten..." 
The saccharine smile dips down, almost into a scowl. "And here I'd heard you'd finally seen sense and parted ways with that old fool." 
"You hear much, I see," Ezmerelda replies, cooly.
"I have my ways. My sources. People loyal to me, who have yet to abandon me."
Ezmerelda feels the swipe like an airy almost-cut of a dagger that just barely misses. "Well, here's something new for you, then. Something your little web-weaving spiders seem to have missed. You'll be happy to hear he's dead." 
"And right away you come back to me! Time to end your silly games, eh, Ezme? Good, good. A start--" 
"You have no right to call me that," Ezmerelda cuts her off, rapidly losing her will to restrain herself.
"Come now, dear. That's no way to talk to your mother, your own flesh and blood. It's about time we set all this nonsense aside, don't you think? Your family--" 
"You're no family of mine." 
"Please," she scoffs loudly. "You sound like an angry child. And... oh, really, what kind of name is 'd'Avenir' even?"
"My name," Ezmerelda replies, perfectly matter-of-fact, and refuses to even entertain further discussion of the matter.
"I wonder how you'll do," Madame Radanavich smiles, but this time the threatening edge is obvious, pretense briefly abandoned, "all alone. Playing your little games of pretend with your make-believe name. You'll come crawling back to me yet." 
Ezmerelda finds herself thinking of Erasmus, and almost believes she can see him, out of the corner of her eye. Tries not to think of what this confrontation might be bringing back for him. Thinks of the Martikovs welcoming her with open arms and offering shelter even in the darkest and dourest and most dangerous of days; thinks of Ireena with the sunsword and an entire wealth of feeling tangled in a tired, relieved smile somehow brighter than the blazing sunlight itself. Of nights around the fire in the camp outside Vallaki, and little Arabelle pulling on her coat, extorting promises of lessons in both swordfighting and divining. Of Arthur Sedgwick and his honest, caring eyes, and his patient instruction in properly using a flintlock, as his husband gleefully offers detailed scientific explanations of the weapon's workings from the side. She twists the ring on her finger.
"I'm not alone," Ezmerelda says simply, and feels resolute steel pouring back. She stops to consider her next words more carefully.
"I watched your actions and your curse destroy a good man's life. But I want you to know that you wanted to take from him, and in the end you took from me, the daughter you profess to care about so much. And now you crow at me about flesh and blood and expect me to, what? Beg you to let me come back? Back to what? A mouldy cell and as short a leash as the current master feels like giving you?"
"Bold words for one given to following an old wretch around like a sad pup, even as he keeps trying to kick you away," Radanavich sneers, then shifts back to sad pity in the blink of an eye. "Oh, yes, my dear, it's so very tragic... I've heard it all. Look at you - you're wasted on him."
"Oh?" Ezmerelda raises an eyebrow cooly, clamps down on the sting to her pride and the deliberate scrape against old wounds, and almost wanting to scream you are the reason he feared that daring to care about someone would be a death sentence for them. "And what would you prefer to be using me for?"
"How dare you! After all I've done for our family, while you throw your lot in with the man who killed your brother and imprisoned your mother!"
Ezmerelda feels suddenly tired, more than anything. "You know he did no such thing. And I've done very well for myself, despite you." 
"Have you, now? What price have you paid for your... profession? What has it cost you already?" 
"Nothing I wouldn't be ready to pay ten times over if it meant ensuring the safety of an innocent, or beating back those such as you. You still don't understand," Ezmerelda just smiles sadly, allowing only the slightest undercurrent of danger. "I'm neither lost, nor settling for anything, nor desperately grasping at a chance, nor tragically misguided. This is what I want. This-- this cause, this fight, this is exactly what I was meant to do. And I am very, very good at it."
"Oh, Ezmerelda, if excitement and adventure and glory is what you are after, I know of much that you could do! So many causes that your... talents... would be an excellent match for. You do have a certain reputation, and I know several highly influential actors who'd know exactly where to put your skills to use, no matter how they were acquired. You could do so well for yourself! Rise right to the top of the ranks in the blink of an eye, become truly great."
Ezmerelda shakes her head, and sighs, and moves to get up from the sad, solitary seat. 
"Ezmerelda--"
She quickly turns towards the bars and leans in, baring her teeth and grinning widely. "I killed the devil Strahd," Ezmerelda smirks at the look of shock she gets in response. "I think your petty schemes are a little below me, don't you?" 
She turns to leave, not waiting for a response. The guard leans back in his corner as she moves away from the bars, waving him off.
"Oh, do feel free to let your masters know," she tosses over her shoulder nonchalantly as she makes her way out. "Though I have to say I haven't really looked into whose lapdog you are nowadays." 
Ezmerelda hears a frustrated growl behind her as the sickeningly sweet, pleasant mask falls for good. As the door slams shut behind her, she doesn't look back.
She lets the noise of the city drown out her thoughts as she slowly makes her way back to her wagon, more than ready to be on her way elsewhere. Until, after a while, a familiar voice comes swimming up through her mind.
'How do you feel?' 
"I don't know," Ezmerelda murmurs, after a long silence. "Ask me tomorrow."
-
1.5. Notes on useful classification and categorisation
As she finishes rattling off the information she's gathered on a series of apparent annis hag encounters that van Richten asked her for, he looks-- well, 'impressed' is the only word Ezmerelda can think of to describe it.
In the ensuing moment of quiet, he takes off his spectacles, fidgets with them briefly, polishes off a smudge with his handkerchief. Then, he looks her right in the eye. "You, girl, are a veritable sponge."
Ezmerelda flashes him a smug smile, then remembers the other matter she wanted to bring to his attention. She clears her throat, and begins, with uncharacteristic hesitance. "I've also been looking into some... other things. Another way I can contribute, I think." 
The only reply is a raised eyebrow, so Ezmerelda steels herself and decides to go forward with her planned demonstration. She quells the nervous fluttering in her stomach, and instead focuses on the points of her own fingers as they trace well-practiced patterns in the air. With a final flick and a quick mutter of the incantation she's quietly recited so, so many nights in her room when she was supposed to be asleep, the very air around her right hand shimmers with heat. A few tense moments later, a small mote of flame appears in her palm.
Ezmerelda bites back an exclamation of joy at the success, tries to keep her expression fairly neutral, and looks to van Richten expectantly.
His eyebrows are, very amusingly, trying to climb into his hairline. "Where in the world did you learn to do that?"
She lets the little flame dance between her hands, casually skip from one to the other, flickering giddily, and feels an odd sense of relief wash over her.
"I saw it in one of your books. Almost by accident, and it... it just made a lot of sense to me, even just skimming over it. So I thought, why not? If I could get a handle on a few of the spells, I could complement your arsenal quite well. Bring more to the fight."
Van Richten nods, but there is a wary undertone to his words. "As long as you aren't making any ill-advised deals and pacts - which, I'll remind you--"
"-- are all of them. I know. Don't worry. I'm only interested in things I can glean by myself."
"Well, I'm not much of an arcane practitioner, though I am quite familiar with a lot of theory. I'm afraid I won't be able to provide any elaborate training or instruction--"
"That's fine," Ezmerelda rushes to say. "I can continue like this. The research, the books - it's..." 
She trails off, not quite knowing how and what to explain. Arcane magic is fascinating, surprisingly enjoyable, and strikes a deeply satisfying balance between being hard-won and feeling like it comes naturally to her. 
It also feels... hers.
"It's very engaging material," she finishes after a little while. She moves to close her fist and extinguish the tiny fire, but something stops her at the very last moment.
"Indeed," van Richten replies simply, and gets up from his seat. "Well, I do need to go tend to the shop, but rest assured we will discuss the tactical applications of this later today." 
Just as he is out the study door and about to start down the stairs, he pauses, and turns back to look at her, a bright and sincere smile on his face. "Very well done, Ezmerelda."
The flame flickers, ready to fly from her fingers, bursting with potential.
"Thank you," she murmurs long after he is gone.
---
It is deep nighttime when Ezmerelda shakes off the last tendrils of the Mists and sets eyes on the cliffs of Mordentshire. The wagon's wheels clatter over rain-slick cobblestones as she navigates the still-familiar streets of the seemingly unchanging harbour town. The cold sea wind makes her tighten her coat around herself, to very little avail. 
She can't say she's missed the weather.
By the time she spies the sign neatly painted with the words Herbalist - Dr. Rudolph van Richten, she feels soaked through and entirely miserable, and spends only a moment giving the place a quick look-over.
The shop is in fine shape - if she didn't know better, Ezmerelda could easily believe its owner closed it up for the night and left just yesterday. The wolfsbane and garlic in the planters underneath each window are flourishing. She makes a mental note to make her first order of business in the morning calling in on the neighbors and discussing further arrangements with Mrs. Polk, in whose capable hands van Richten has been leaving things for years.
In the meantime, she fervently hopes for dry clothes and a workable fireplace.
A quick rummage between two bushy wolfsbane plants - the second and third one on the right - produces a spare key, and Ezmerelda remembers with mild amusement her shock at this mundane weakness in van Richten's usually impeccable and overthought defenses, years ago.
"Keys," he'd looked at her over the rim of his spectacles, "are hardly a problem for things that truly want to harm me."
The little bell chimes as she opens the door. Catching a glimpse of herself in the very precisely placed full-length mirror just opposite the entrance, she wastes no time before going upstairs. The second stair from the top creaks its old, familiar reassurance.
Ezmerelda enters the room that used to be hers, in between harrowing hunting trips and trying adventures, during her years training with van Richten. It doesn't seem to have changed much - nor does it seem to be in use as anything but spare storage space.
She does her best not to think about how empty and quiet the house is, or how she's never truly been alone in it. Instead, she hangs up her coat, rolls up her shirt sleeves, unpacks some of her things, and, by the time she gets a proper fire going, realises sleep is the very last thing she feels like doing. Her eyes alight on the small desk in the corner, and she instead decides to do something she hasn't in a while.
She sits down to write. 
First, Ezmerelda takes off the ring and sets it aside, muttering a quick good night, Doctor under her breath. Then she takes out some of her collection, observations accumulated over the years - jotted down on everything from thick parchment to old wrapping paper. Combining it with the wealth of van Richten's remaining material and into something eventually coherent will no doubt be a challenge, but a challenge is not something Ezmerelda d'Avenir has ever shied away from.
It is just haphazard, quick notes on anything of consequence that comes to mind at first, carried by an odd nervous energy. A more systematic approach will have to come at some later point.
While knowledge is a key weapon in any hunter's arsenal, honing one's body as well as mind is absolutely necessary, she writes, tapping her foot on the wooden floor in a way that often drove van Richten to distraction. Many of the creatures of the night become, in their cursed states, inhumanly strong, and in such instances one must be particularly careful of engaging them in close quarters, for even the greatest strongman would be at a disadvantage.
However, not all of these encounters need be solved by violence. Many ghosts 
She pauses, pen slowly dripping ink onto the half-filled page before her, and sees Erasmus out of the corner of her eye. She turns her head to face him, and for once in their long and unusual life-and-afterlife-spanning acquaintance, she finds she can't quite read him.
Many ghosts are held in their in-between existence due to unfinished business. Tethered to some regret or incomplete task from their mortal lives, they seek resolution and closure. Many hauntings can thus be resolved by investigation, and what I must term a primarily sympathetic approach. Of course, one must also always be wary and on the lookout for deliberately misguiding spectres who seek to play upon one's pity.
The first signs of dawn creep into the room by the time she has moved on from ghosts to wraiths to trying to sort out her notes about creatures that lurk underwater - old notes that have been, to her chagrin, very appropriately and unsalvageably waterlogged.
Ezmerelda manages to light another candle just before her current one sputters out, and rubs at her tired eyes. Then she pauses, gazing idly at the ink stains on her fingers.
She reaches over for a new page, setting her current work aside. There is something else she wants and needs to write, something other than dry facts or hopefully helpful guidelines. The first few sentences come in fits and starts, but soon enough she finds them flowing out of her pen almost of their own accord.
What I would like to make clear is that this is not an inherently bad place. The lands themselves can be beautiful - wondrous, even. Worth living in, and worth fighting for. And the people who live in them do not deserve to live in fear. I, and many others, could simply leave for some better, tamer prospects, yes - but then what? Nothing is gained if we merely surrender an entire world, a collection of lands so fantastically varied and so full of promise, to a cruel, merciless, hungry night. It can't all be abandoned as collateral damage in a great punishment intended for a horrible few. I can't, and won't, allow this to happen.
Maybe the foes are overwhelming, and the fight endless. But a life saved is a life saved. A victory is a victory. One innocent snatched away from a grim fate, one tendril of darkness beaten back - that is enough. But only if we persist at it, day after day after day. And evil may be impossible to ever completely destroy, but it is far weaker and less widespread than it could and doubtlessly wants to be, in at least some small part thanks to our continued efforts.
A dour prospect? Perhaps, for some. Ezmerelda smirks to herself, and gazes down at her veritable manifesto, and thinks back to that cell in Il Aluk. 
What better life is there to lead? None, for her.
I, for one, don't intend to give up anytime soon. I hope that in you, dear reader, I can find one of like mind. And perhaps one day we shall find ourselves standing together.
She lights another candle, and continues.
-
1.6. Conclusions and remarks on future work
She clenches her hands as she steps into the sitting room that morning, decisions made after a long, sleepless night of contemplation. As if fate is conspiring against her, the first thing she sees is Erasmus, hovering over his father's shoulder. He turns to face her as soon as he notices her, a bright smile he saves just for her on his pale, ghostly face. She knows what a struggle it is for him to manifest this way, how much it takes out of him. The thought of his precious few minutes today being this... 
It takes immense effort to speak up, interrupting van Richten's apparent focus on the post strewn about the table in front of him.
"I think... I think it's time for me to go."
"Go? Where?" He blinks, looking up from his papers.
Ezmerelda swallows, but hesitates only for a moment. "I don't know," she answers, chin tilted up, almost proud. "But I know we can't go on like this. I don't want to go on like this."
They butt heads and scrape against each other constantly. Chafe and grate and, and, and. She can't remember the last time they agreed on even the most cursory thing. It has reached a level where she fears his presence will become intolerable, and anything binding the two of them together become irreparably soured and tainted.
She refuses to allow this to happen.
Erasmus has drawn a coin. Two sides. He indulges in a small, semi-teasing pantomime, pointing at the two of them as his shimmering, ectoplasmic drawings hover briefly before vanishing like so much smoke, and Ezmerelda shakes her head sadly.
"I don't want to come to resent you, that is all. I don't think I could bear it if I did."
"If you think it for the best, by all means," van Richten says simply, and leaves it at that. He never turns to fully look at her. There is an undercurrent to his voice Ezmerelda can't quite place - something deeply tired, and far more complicated than plain sadness.
It rains heavily that morning as she sets off, as if the world itself wants her to rethink this. The muddy road squelches almost threateningly under her horse's hooves as she leads him forward.
Van Richten doesn't come out to see her off.
"I'll miss you," she breathes to herself, and half-hopes it somehow reaches both of the companions she is leaving behind. But she has only the rain and her horse's steady trot on the trail for company. 
It is quiet.
---
Finally, the familiar mists of Darkon, and the countryside of Rivalis, lie before them. The inevitable, at a familiar estate fallen into quite a state of disrepair. 
'No, leave it be,' van Richten said, at her hesitantly presented idea of including returning Richten House to at least some of its former glory on their list of unfinished business and loose ends.
Still, this is where he wanted to come. At the end.
Ezmerelda never saw it in its prime. She was a mere child then, kept well away from her family's machinations. Until she was (inevitably, irrevocably) drawn in, her fate forever entangled with that of the van Richten family. But even now, in all its disrepair, rich traces of what the gardens, the orchard, and the house itself used to be permeate the atmosphere, like ghosts themselves.
She walks across the hills of the grounds, all the way around the mansion to the family cemetery. She slows as she moves up to the two most recent graves, so easy to find, and thinks, briefly, of the body van Richten insisted on being burned before they left Barovia, just in case. 
Just in case, she agreed, knowing all he knew about what foul magic and foul intentions could do to physical remains in the wrong hands, and built him a pyre.
The headstones before her are simple but elegant, as is the tidily engraved lettering on them.
Ingrid van Richten
Erasmus van Richten
'Well, here we are.' For a disembodied voice softly projecting into her mind, almost as through a mild haze or over some great distance, it is one of the heaviest things Ezmerelda has ever heard.
'A few words, if I may,' van Richten's request comes, gentle, and she nods, finding herself oddly wordless.
'I am so proud of you,' he begins, and the ferocity of it almost startles her. 'I hope you know this, always. If I have ever made you doubt this, as I pushed you away - I am sorry. I regret many things in my life, as one does, no matter what I like to say - but most of all I regret that I didn't tell you this sooner. 
You are the best of my life. But more than that, you have grown far beyond me, into a finer person than most could dream of being. And I am sorry I wasn't there for you, that you had to do so much of it on your own. But know that when I see you... I couldn't be happier, or more in awe.' 
There is a very brief pause, and then the voice softens again.
'I love you as my own, and am deeply honoured you would consider me, and that I get to consider you, family.' 
Ezmerelda swallows once, twice, struggles, then finally lets her tears fall freely. 
'Look at you. You don't need me anymore. And I can only hope your legend will far surpass anything I have ever done - there is so much ahead of you! Your light stands so very bright against the darkness. But I am glad, so very glad - selfishly, perhaps - that we were there together, at the end.' 
"So am I," she manages a whisper. "Love you too, old man." 
'Now I suppose it is time for me to go.' 
Erasmus looks at her, bittersweet pouring from him in waves, and he gives a small nod. His form flickers, and then disappears, and Ezmerelda knows she will never see him again.
She knows how the ring works, too. The soul within it can choose to depart whenever it wants to. She knows she doesn't need to do anything - that she couldn't, even if she wanted to. It brings with it a strange sort of peace. 
Ezmerelda inclines her head. "I hope you see them soon." Tell Erasmus I'll miss him, she wishes she could say. 
She spins the now-inert ring around on her finger, a habit she will need to break. She wants to tear it off, and throw it as far away from herself as she can. She wants to never take it off as long as she lives. 
A soft rain starts up, and Ezmerelda feels oddly grateful for the feel of it on her face, even as she knows there is no one here but her.
It is quiet.
---
With gratitude to the notes and tutelage of the esteemed Dr. Rudolph van Richten, whose guidance and wealth of knowledge have proved invaluable on countless occasions, and whose friendship changed the course of my life more than once.
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itszemo · 4 years ago
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(    *    & .    ---    RESCUE  ME .
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*   helmut  zemo  x  gn!reader . warnings  for  heavy  angst,  referenced  rape  (  not  by  zemo  ),   aftermath  of  torture,  suicidal  ideation   &   suicide  attempt .   —    ‘   1812 words  ’
(   BLOOD   )  IT'S  THE  SMELL  of blood that makes Zemo gag. Not the sight of the wounds themselves, or the knowledge of what your captors must have done to you: it’s the thick and heady scent of copper in the air that shoves its way down his throat and almost makes him sick.
Almost. His hands are steady — slick with sweat and clammy from adrenaline, but perfectly capable of aiming his gun. He takes out the jailer in your cell. He takes out the men who rush to his aid. He stuns the agents running toward him down the hall.
He doesn’t touch you. The smell of burned armor and burnt skin replaces the scent of blood. He turns, and through the smoke he sees little flashes that will stay with him forever: hair matted with blood, skin bruised so dark that for one brief moment Zemo thinks it’s rotting.
Open wounds, circular burn marks from where someone pressed a hot weapon against your stomach and thighs. Dried blood, the crust of cum on your legs, your back, your chest, your face. The deep lines worn into your wrists from where your captors used wire instead of handcuffs, favoring pain over efficiency, confident that they’d broken you so badly you couldn’t escape.
You are his target. You are nude and barely breathing. You are the person who helped Wanda and Pietro which resulted in the destruction of his country. You are lying in your own urine on the floor, unable to stand.
You are one of Hydra's super powered experiment, and you've been raped by men who once called themselves SHIELD agents.
Zemo takes a deep breath and cuts the ties around your wrists.
(   THE   SERUM   )  “That’s all I can do.” Zemo says, standing from a crouch. He tosses his hands up, a muted gesture of helplessness. Your eyes follow his hands like you're expecting a blow, but your expression is weary, not cautious; if Zemo were to hit you, he doubts you would even flinch.
The serum running through your body has taken care of the deep wounds around your wrists, and it’s eradicated the infected cuts on your back and thighs. Perhaps it will dull the pain of your burn wounds; perhaps not. There was little that could be done by the time Zemo got to them. He stands over you, who sit half-dressed on a sofa in Zemo's hotel room, wrists crossed loosely over your knee.
Head bowed. If not for the strain and exhaustion in your posture, you might look natural. Even if you did look natural, the antiseptic smell hanging around you would give you away.
“You want to talk about it?” Zemo asks. He can see you staring at his worn leather boots; your own feet are bare, your bruised and bloody toes peeking out from behind bandages. Your toenails are gone, your soles flogged raw.
“What information do you need?” You ask, tone placid, conversational.
It takes Zemo a moment to realize you’re having different conversations. He wants to know how badly you were hurt; you think this is an interrogation. He hesitates, sits beside you on the sofa.
“They raped you.” He says.
You don’t meet his gaze. You lift your chin, stare at the tv opposite you with cool eyes and a tight jaw.
“I am their soldier.” You say with neither pride nor shame, just stating a fact. “I have been tortured before, Colonel. Haven’t you?”
Zemo’s lips lift in a half-smile, no real amusement. He says nothing.
After a moment, so subtly it could be classified as an accident, you shift in your seat, your arm brushing against his. A light touch, barely there. Zemo sneaks a glance at your face, sees a glaze of confusion in your eyes, a hint of fear. He understands the touch for what it is: not comfort, exactly, but grounding.
There are a million things Zemo could be doing, plotting his revenge plan against the avengers chief among them, but for now, he doesn’t move.
(   BRUISES   )  They won’t fade for weeks. They limit your movements in the shower. Zemo offers help, and you snap out a refusal so harsh that it makes you both freeze, Zemo flushing, you pale. You struggle on your own beneath the water spray, can barely move your arms or bend your legs.
You won’t be clean — truly clean — for quite some time. Won’t be able to rid yourself of the smell of humiliation which lingers on your skin. You wear one of Zemo's old shirts, but beneath the fresh scent of the clean shirt, you swear you catch whiffs of semen and piss. It doesn’t matter that it’s been days since you were rescued; the smell of blood is gone, but those two scents remain.
You stand before the mirror afterward, examine your face. The hum of the shower offers flawless soundproofing, allows you to do whatever you want in here without Zemo finding out. There are a thousand options.
What you do is line your knuckles up with your cheekbone, pull your fist back, and punch yourself in the face.
The first blow is soft, less painful than you want it to be. Your self-preservations instincts have kicked in, making you pull the punch. You don’t let that happen again. You pull back, strike yourself again and again in the same place, until every blow jars you, makes your bones shake in your head, leaves your skin heated and fragile to the touch.
You press your fingers to your cheekbone. You can almost feel the broken blood vessels stinging beneath your skin.
When you sit next to Zemo on the sofa that night, his eyes track up and linger on your new bruise.
He doesn’t say a word.
(   BED   )  At night, you lie stiff in your bed, unable to find comfort. Your body screams at you no matter how you sleep, but this is best: on your back, arms crossed as much as you can manage over your stomach, legs straight and slightly spread. You stare up at the ceiling, Zemo’s bed next to yours. You listen to the former soldier toss and turn in his sleep.
You feel your heart hammering in your chest. You tell yourself the sounds mean nothing; your nervous system tells you otherwise, insists that Zemo is waking, getting out of bed, coming your way. A trickle of heat burns through your chest, into your stomach and bladder, leaves you struggling to breathe as your muscles go limp. You can think of nothing but keeping yourself in control, not letting fight-or-flight get the best of you. You focus so hard on this that you can’t stop your breath from whistling through your teeth, nor can you stifle the frightened groan that escapes your lips, completely involuntary.
In the bed next to you, Zemo goes still. His voice is thick and rough from sleep.
“Are you alright?” He asks.
You clench your fist, drive your knuckles into a bruise on your ribs, let the pain bring you back. Your captor is asking you if you’re alright. When you say nothing, Zemo looks to his side and peeks at you, his face impossible to read.
“Don’t worry.” He says. “I won't harm you.”
He won't harm you. How the hell are you supposed to answer to that?
(   GUN   )  Zemo notices it’s missing from his holster at the worst time: when he’s fighting two HYDRA agents that came looking for you. He manages to fight them off, kills them and stands, nerves jangling, crossing to the cramped hotel room space that he and you have made into a temporary home.
He finds you sitting on the edge of your bed. Your shirt is lifted, revealing the blood-stained bandages beneath; they need changing, but there’s nothing left to change them with. Clasped loosely in your hand, which rests at your side, is Zemo's gun.
Zemo swallows. His throat is dry.
“Hey.” He says, his voice a rasp.
Your eyes meet his. You lift the gun a little, point it not at Zemo but at yourself. There’s no expression on your face, no emotion in your eyes, as you raise it and press the barrel beneath your chin.
You don’t speak as Zemo approaches. Your grip on the gun stays loose; you make no attempt to pull the trigger. When Zemo takes the gun away, sets it aside, you put up only the briefest of fights: your grip on the handle tightens, your hand spasms, you let it go.
You don’t react when Zemo's hands land on your shoulders, squeezing gently, turning you to face him. Your gaze is haughty, exasperated, dignified and unashamed; you're ready to argue that you have a right to kill yourself, that you won’t reveal any new secrets about your powers in another round of torture, that you don’t trust him and there’s nothing Zemo can do to convince you. Zemo can see the arguments boiling in your eyes.
But when he pulls you forward, you crumble into his arms.
(   BREATHE   )  The air in Sokovia is cold and misty in the morning, the kind of air that can coat your lungs in frost. But it will warm up soon, when the sun is high. For now, Zemo drapes his coat over your shoulders, places one hand flat between your shoulder blades for support.
You stand on the stairs of Zemo’s private plane, looking down at the rubble that remains of Sokovia. A few curious looks are thrown your way. Nobody rushes to put you in cuffs; few people seem to recognize you from the battle, and those who do only look at Zemo in surprise, then scowl and move along.
“I told you nobody would pay you too much attention.” Zemo says softly.
You say nothing. Your teeth are clenched, your face blank. You blink rapidly and wait for the mist to crash to the ground, for the image before you to fracture into nothing. For the space in front of you to glitch and turn into your cell walls, the scent of blood.
You blink. You blink again, the bruise on your cheekbone stinging in the cool air. Zemo's hand on your back is warm and broad and magnetic, keeping you upright, keeping you still. You swallow past a tight throat and watch the sky blur.
Now. Now it will dissolve, reveal itself for a hallucination. Now it will become your cell again.
But you blink and the blurriness intensifies then fades, a tear blazing down your cheek, over your self-inflicted bruise, too hot and immediate to ignore or classify as a delusion. You feel Zemo’s hand flex on your back, reminding you that he’s there.
“Breathe.” Zemo says. “And we can go down when you’re ready.”
You breathe.
‘   @noavengers   ’    —   comment to be added to my taglist .
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twinkubus · 2 years ago
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fun food related stuff i have been doing lately
roasted a pork shoulder. this sounds hard but in fact you just stick it in the oven for 8h on a low temp and then it is done. INCREDIBLY juicy/savory/umami, it was falling apart and good even just to snack on. it also fed me for 1-2 meals/day for a week and i still had leftovers to freeze!!
since the main cooking event had already taken place i was able to do a way bigger variety of dishes than usual, including: pork tacos w chimichurri, some rice bowls, ragu w/ polenta, stir-fry, and bbq sandwich
the ragu w/ polenta def took the most time but none of them were SUPER taxing, a lot were just kinda heat-and-go.
i have pork drippings now that i can use to cook stuff in
i also have a big bone that i am going to hopefully make a stock from
fermenting. doing end-of-year garden stuff made me go kind of ham!! right now i have 4 (four) active ferments going:
cabbage
w/ red pepper flakes + onions, i started on monday, and it smells fermenty now (Weds) so i am excited
mead
just 4:1 ratio of water and honey under the guidance of Fermentation Master sandor katz who makes it sound like you can just put honey and water and fruit/spices in a jar, shake often, and it will start fermenting.
v curious to see how this progresses bc if you look at any ‘homebrewing’ advice they are always like ‘u need separate yeast/campden tablets/yeast nutrient/etcetcetc’
my honey is like a year old but some bubbles are showing already so V hopeful about it!!
kale
one of the last garden harvests. since i put stuff in my cabbage jar i am just doing water and salt w/ this one
green tomatoes
probably the actual last garden harvest, i checked the plot today to organize some of the stuff we had chopped down over the weekend for garden cover, and some tomato branches had really small but still green and firm tomatoes on ‘em
this one is the most...who tf knows if it will go!!! no loss if nothing comes of them tho. i added a bay leaf and some celery seeds to the brine.
also from garden that i came by accidentally: mullein and marigold. gonna try to make some tincture from the mullein, dunno if i want to turn the marigold flowers into tea or maybe try a dye?? nothing to dye atm so leaning towards tea.
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frostahesmegabite · 3 years ago
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The Judgement of Carrion
@daily-writing-challenge - Day 4 - Accomplish/Macabre [ Content warning: Blood, Guts, Gore, Bits of Torture, That sort of stuff. While there aren't pages and pages of it, it is present in this short story. I tried to find a balance of detail and keeping things light without going into ‘Hostel’ territory. ]
Human forts were a dime a dozen, easily found and half of them forgotten or falling to ruin due to the numerous war fronts that were constantly moving across the face of Azeroth to fight one force or another. Some lost to time, others to ruin, some to marauding forces and others simply abandoned because they were no longer needed. It was one of these Forts that Megahes had put to use for himself and probably his most comprehensive and long lasting pastime.
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Clever little devices put into play to keep things looking abandoned and misused, neglected and falling to ruin. The place had not only been repaired but also reinforced with Magical and Mechanical Goblin ingenuity that was built upon with knowledge gained over the past several decades.
Inside of this fort, despite the fact it was never intended to receive an actual willful audience, was decorative furniture made of fine dark woods embroidered with rich velvets, soft silks and the finest wools and cottons coin could acquire. Tables stretching about with plates and goldware that no man or woman other than Megahes would ever see sat to present an atmosphere of riches on display. Trophy cases and stands line the walls with numerous weapons of both magical and mundane descent that perch over Armor Stands holding protective metal layers meant not just for Goblins, but all races.
If any ever came to somehow find the place and took the time to inspect any of it, they’d find that all of these items weren’t as ‘pristine’ as they may appear at a distance. Damage came to them all at some point or another. Blunted blades, shattered axe heads assembled to look presentable. Armor with gashes, pierced helmets or chest pieces, greaves with shorn metal by the thighs that most likely led to bleed outs.
The more one could look, the more they’d note that all of the gear was like walking through a museum of deathly wounds. All that stood or hung from the walls had a story of defeat and loss and probably before then, great triumphs, valor and victory… just to have their stories end here.
Megahes pays no mind to these things now though as he walks with his back rigid and straight, his arms back behind him with hands clasping the other arms elbow in some overly formal glide across the stone floor. His bright white and gold attire is a stark beacon amongst the dark colors and atmosphere of the room that one should have found comforting, but for some reason, only brought worry and dread with it as he moves about his untold business.
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[ Artwork by the Magnificent Fishadee. No Fire or Light Shards floating about in this scene, purely put for clothing example. https://twitter.com/fishadee ] He stops, not worrying to look around for any watchers, for he knows there are none as he stops at a small wall just behind a staircase. “Rehorur decno Kudex.” A series of flashes occur around our Goblin and once completed a small stone panel slides off to the side and Megahes puts his hand into the slot. A sudden sharp ‘shing!’ sound is head and Mega’s neck tenses but for a moment before his hand is withdrawn. A mechanical but feminine voice perks up from the slot. “Welcome back.” “Hmm.” The only sound Megahes makes before he takes a step back and then to the left. The stone wall jars forward at an alarming speed, spikes erupting from her stone crevices meant to impale and kill any would-be intruders while giving Megahes the solitary moment that was needed to pass behind the crude defense into the wall beyond. Whether by measured practice or perhaps sensors, the trap quickly retreats and returns to normal, giving off no telltale signs of a hidden door or of Mega’s earlier passing.
The reason for all this secrecy? Hidden at the end of the staircase Mega was already descending. Humans had their specialties sure, jacks of all trades those people. But the one thing they never fail to make well?
Jail Cells and Prisons.
It was this singular reason that Megahes took over this once ramshackle Fort for himself. Though there weren’t many cells, there was no need. Three of them sat in a row at the bottom of the stairs, each outfitted with custom Arcano-tech that allowed for the arrival of a singular occupant that was soon set to magical and electrical suppression to keep them docile and incapable of action while time slowly allowed them to become dehydrated and starved to where strength or speed was no longer an issue either.
The work put into this place was one of Mega’s hidden creations of pride and in the past, its use went towards a sorted pastime of torturing whoever was unfortunate enough to get caught by one of his traps. Times change however and with Mega’s newfound religion, came the need to change how and why he did things while applying them to old hobbies. Today’s hobby however, only involved one other person beyond himself and Mega comes to stand right before him as electricity pulses through his frail, nearly starved frame.
“Brother Abacus.” A stupid name, false to be sure, but one that Megahes didn’t really care about either way. “I realize you don’t know who I am and that’s quite alright.” He leans in, voice dialing down as he speaks through the bars just as another tide of electricity bombards the ‘Brother’, causing him to whimper and whine in pain. “You have been found guilty of being a member of a Twilight Cult, one in fact, that was run by Dinthoqaf the Defiler.”
The cultist looks up, arms shaking in heavy tremors as he tries to look his would-be captor in the eye. They give out however, causing him to hit the ground with an exhale. His cracked and bleeding lips wobble, trying to say something, but the lack of strength made their efforts near useless. It was sad really, or at least it would be if Megahes cared about the man's condition in the slightest.
Megah glides over to a control panel on the wall and proceeds to flip a series of switches and dials which cause several mechanical tendrils to tear from the wall in Abacus’ cell that soon lash him to the same wall they originated from. His body was quickly drawn into an ‘X’ shape with limbs pulled tight and to their limits.
“You see. Your former… Employer? Boss? Leader.” Megahes hands lift and tumble in slow methodical circles as he tries to find the right word, but leaves it be. “Him and I don’t get along very well and thanks to his efforts, I find myself needing to improvise my tactics a bit. While I know he’s dead, face turned to slag and glass, I wanna make sure I get the job done correctly, meaning none of his followers try to take up his mantle. I’m sure you understand.”
He turns around and heads into the cell, worry of electrocution now gone thanks to the current state of affairs. “You see. I have this…” He pauses. “...Macabre little ritual I have to do every so often and believe me.” The Goblin laughs while looking up at the man while proceeding to straighten up his clothes, as if it mattered. “As much as people might want me to say I hate doing this… I don’t. I’ve been doing this to people way before you all found me and now. Now I get to put my hobbies to better use.”
Megahes’ hand comes up, his index finger pressing to his lips to tell Brother Abacus to be silent. His smile fades with the gesture and he reaches up, pressing his black and gold painted claw against the clothing of this man's thigh. Downward, slowly, it runs. Fabric quickly turns from a peasant-y brown to a heavy red and brown as flesh below seems to split before the clothing itself can.
Magic? Possibly. Insanely sharp claws? Not likely. But whatever it was, the man's thigh split open as if by scalpel and despite his starvation, he thrashes weakly in an effort to pull away. The machines holding his wrists tighten and continue to do so until the sound of bone is heard crunching.
This process continues on not just for mere moments but stretches of hours, lines drawn across flesh like sand. Megahes had nothing else to say and so, despite the protests and pleading, begging to let him go and he’d tell no one, Mega continued.
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Soon, details were carved away, facial features, scalp and its rooted hair, ears. Nearly anything that could be taken and removed without outright killing this poor cultist was taken in some macabre movie of silence and torture and finally, when the man was nearest his end, Megahes opens his own shirt.
The metal embedded into his Chest that shines with the Light like a beacon in this squalor, practically vibrates as Mega runs his blood coated hands across its surface. Red blood made semi-translucent by the sheer shine, soon was baked and cooked black, all Vitae devoured, leaving Megahes to sigh in relief.
“I would ask you to tell the Defiler thank you for giving me this. But… we both know you’re never going to have that opportunity.”
Megahes runs his hand up from Brother Abacus' groin clear up to his collarbone, shearing clean through flesh and muscle alike. What came next was a grotesque shower of innards that began to fall and slop to the floor, leaving our would-be cultist inanimate and lifeless.
“Now to clean up and go home. Tonight’s my date night and I have so many things to accomplish before She gets home…” Soon, the jail cells were left dark and eventually the slow trickling of blood and various other liquids came to silence in the dark, waiting to be cleaned up and for a new subject to be taken.
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aerynwrites · 4 years ago
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Okay okay, I got this! So may I request Cassian with the prompts “You’re bleeding” and “Come here, let me fix this” where the reader is inadvertently injured during a mission and Cassian needs to patch her up? Maybe some feelings involved somewhere too 😭💕 Thank you!!
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A/N: Here you go! I’ve missed writing for Cassian! <3
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: Blood and injury, hurt/comfort, fluff.
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It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get in, meet with the informant, get the information, and get out. A simple task that Cassian has completed hundreds of times. Which is the only reason he thought it safe to bring you along with him. You’re just a technician, usually you come with him or the rogue one crew to help with analytics or if something goes wrong with the ship. Cassian had never intended to fall for you, having always put the rebellion first. He never expected for you to worm your way into his heart with your kindness or bright smile. 
Yet here he is with you, running away from an ambush of storm troopers, all because he could never say no to you. 
You had begged and begged to accompany him on one of his smaller missions. Claiming that the more knowledge you had of his field work the more help you could be. But Cassian knew it was because you wanted to do more for the rebellion than just fix ships and look over data. Perhaps that’s why he had caved and let you tag along, because he saw a bit of his younger self in you. Optimistic, hopeful, but terribly naive. 
“Come on!” he shouts, ducking and pulling you with him to avoid a round of blaster shots, “We’re almost back to the ship. We can make it!”
You struggle to keep up, the stormy weather of the planet you’re on has turned the ground into a muddy mess. You keep losing your footing on the slippery terrain, and you can hardly see in front of you due to the buckets of rain pouring down from the sky and dripping into your eyes. Oh...and the blaster-shot to your side that you think Cassian has yet to notice. 
The only sense of hope you feel is when you see your ship in the distance. You faintly hear Cassian call into his comm link for K2 to start the ship and get prepared to take off the moment you two arrive on board. Another round of blaster fire has both you and Cassian ducking to the side before you both finally manage to run into the ship. You slip on your way up the ramp and Cassian instantly catches you and hauls you the rest of the way into the ship. You let out a pained hiss as his hand falls onto your blaster wound, and release a sigh when you are set gently into one of the passenger seats. 
“You’re bleeding,” Cassian says, voice slightly panicked as he looks at his hand covered in crimson.
“I-I’m fine,” you tell him, trying to calm him down, “It’s nothing we can’t handle.” you wince on the last word, hand falling to the source of pain instinctively. 
Cassian feels like his heart is in his throat when he discovers your injury. He feels like a fool for letting you come along with him, letting his feelings for you get in the way of his better judgment. He shakes his head firmly, quickly stripping off his thick coat and moves to find the med kit. 
“I shouldn’t have let you come,” he sighs, pulling the medkit off the wall and walking back over to crouch on the floor in front of you, “It was too dangerous, and I should have known that!” he chastises himself. 
“Cassian,” you call out to him, “Stop,” you breathe, “Please. It’s not your fault,” you insist, “You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. Please don’t blame yourself.”
The man before you closes his eyes tightly, biting his tongue to stop himself from arguing with you. He takes several deep breaths, realizing that - as much as he hates it - your words are true. 
He sighs. Moving to help over to help you stand from your seat, “Come here,” he instructs softly, “Let me at least fix this,” he gestures to the charred and bloody area on your jacket. 
You nod, letting him guide you over to a low bench instead. He helps you remove your jacket slowly, careful not to jar you around too much. Then he lifts your shirt up enough so he can inspect the wound.
“Hold your shirt up,” he whispers. 
You obey, holding the fabric away from the wound and biting your lip when you feel his fingers trail around the area lightly, assessing the damage. You let out a shaky breath when he pulls his hands away, and he sighs softly in relief.
“It isn’t too deep. Just a graze,” he explains, “I just have to clean it, apply some bacta and bandages and you will be good as new.”
“Okay,” you say softly, “I trust you.”
Cassian smiles wryly as he begins to slowly doctor your wound, “And look where that trust got you. Covered in mud with a blaster bolt to the side.”
“Cassian!” you chastise, voice pitching up slightly when he starts to apply bacta cream to your injury, “I told you this wasn’t your fault, you need to sto-”
“I have one job!” he cuts you off, voice harsh yet hands gentle as he continues to treat you. “I have one job,” he reiterates. “To protect those who can’t protect themselves. To protect those I lo-”
He stops, throat going dry, as he begins to wrap the bandages around your waist. He has never told you how he feels, never intended too. But after today, even though it wasn’t anything terrible, he can’t deny the absolute fear he felt shooting through his veins when he saw your blood on his hands. He has plenty of that already, but he never wanted yours on him. Never wanted the blood of those he loves to come anywhere near him. 
He continues only when he has taped the bandage off and tugs your shirt back down, looking up at you with hands resting on your thighs gently. “I’m supposed to protect the people I care about, the people I love,” he squeezes your thighs on the last word, “What good am I, if i can’t even do that?”
You feel your eyes burn with unshed tears at the confession. You’ve had feelings for the captain since the moment you had joined the rogue one crew on your first mission. You knew that you both felt something for each other, constantly tiptoeing around one another and teasing back and forth. But you knew that Cassian was practically married to the rebellion. So, to hear him finally say these things out loud...it made a wave of emotions crash over you. 
You quickly slide down from the bench so you are on the floor just a hair's breadth away from him. You hesitantly move to cradle his face in your hands, feeling your heart swell when he melts into you. 
“I love you too, Cas,” you whisper, thumbs running slowly over his cheek bones.
His eyes snap to meet yours when the words fall from your lips, and before you can react, his hands are on your wrists and he's bringing his lips to yours. 
And suddenly...everything seems right.
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