#boi needs therapy
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the way ajtl had almost every popular romance trope:
slow burn enemies to lovers pining jealousy 100k angst bad ending (Ren Ruyi x Ning Yuanzhou)
arranged marriage (Chu Yue x Li Tongguang)
"if we both don't have someone by xx let's get married" (Yang Ying x Yuan Lu)
star crossed lovers/no strings attached (lol) (Chu Yue x Yu Shisan)
vengeful ex(?) (Jin Meiniang x Yu Shisan)
marriage of convenience (Yang Ying x Li Tongguang)
#honorary mention to unhealthy obsession with shifu who gave him abandonment issues (Ren Ruyi x Li Tongguang)#that one's a joke okay i dont condone the stalking and obsessive wanting to possesses a person kind of thing#boi needs therapy#a journey to love#really is a journey indeed#this show can fit so many ships#ajtl#一念关山
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HOLY SHIT THIS IS SUCH A WIN
@allthecanadianpolitics
#cdnpoli#bcpoli#now make them eligible for worker's comp#because boy do i wish i'd gotten the physical therapy i needed 5 years ago when delivery biking destroyed my back lmao
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I wanted to do this meme since I saw the S2 of Earthspark, but I had the inspiration after complaining about It with @sketchy-mf . so:
(ok time to going back to Ao3 reading Fanfiction pretending they're canon in my mind 🙂)
#transformers#starscream#transformers earthspark#miguel o'hara#but it is Hasbro#Starscream and Knockout amica endura is canon in my head ... 🥲#canon event#starscream fanart#earthspark starscream#starscream your canon event is shit I sm so sorry#tfp knockout#this is bullshit#I was delulu#transformers hashtag#ao3 my beloved#tfe starscream#Starscream meme#Hasbro I tell you ma boi Starscream need therapy#he need also his husband Skyfire but I have fear now how they made all npc#still delulu#my art#I can hear Miguel theme#maccadam#I'm putting more effort into these tags than the actual drawing
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Charles vs Charles
@i-am-as-normal-as-you-are has once again commissioned me for the Reverse Verse, and this is only part 1, so expect more comics soon!
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#reverse verse#they hate each other which probably means they need ghost therapy#they may or may not work side by side in the future...#also reverse verse is very uncomfortable in the shirt#he hates being close to other people due to The Train(tm)#but original charles is under the impression that he's so tense because he despises him#oh well I'm sure that's part of it#pray for the Edwins
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[I need you to go look up "ICICLE WORKS - I STILL WANT YOU" and start blaring that as loud as you can right now.]
So. Typhus and I have failed in our mission to get him into everyone's bedrolls. Turns out that traumatized vampire got hands. We didn't have the heart to break up with Astarion, and I think we're DnD married now. Please keep us in your prayers.
#bg3#astarion#bg3 durge#tiefling#typhus#I GUESS HE GETS HIS OWN TAG NOW#you can really see me decide halfway through that I need to stop drawing Astarion like 'Fiend but if therapy would work'#I never take my baldurs gate sketches seriously until the last minute jdhfghdffg#I just flew in from a 2-week body fatigue and boy are my arms tired!!!#also tell me I'm not the only one who's made astarion bite karlach. funniest mistake in the game
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harry keeps stealing victim’s boots
#harry starts collecting trophies from all the murders he solves and theyr all designer footwear#its retail therapy#this is just an excuse to draw his fat juicy ass#i need some one to develope a harry du bois dress up game im sick and tired of drawing him in multiple outfits#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#my art
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hero's pain
#lego monkey kid fanart#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk mk#lego monkie kid mk#illustration#lmk qi xiaotian#my art#Someone hug him#he needs therapy#monkey boy
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Throwing yall some more of my Freak Fortress Spy oc Klaus/Unsettled Spy. Did some reworks of him a bit and finally have a color pallete :3
When you don't know who to ship your oc with and choose a random freak you like ToT
Rubberfruit and Klaus are more a sweet duo who share the ocassional kiss. RF likes to steal Klaus' hat.
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 art#tf2 spy#my art#digital art#art#sketch#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 soldier#freak fortress#original character#oc#technically a fruity ass version of#freedom fries#my boy klaus is nervous when you look at him#he needs a hug and some therapy
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If bro smiles through tears in episode 1 of S3 I'm gonna fold like a lawn chair
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic prime#shadow the hedgehog#I am going absolutely feral right now#sorry for the angst lately but the POTENTIAL FOR IT FJSNFJSJBF#SEND THESE BOYS TO THERAPY#oh my god..what if this is the moment he realizes he NEEDS Tails? He has no one to plan ahead for him and now..oh dude#and that sparks missing his brother like nothing else#like of course hes always needed him and always will but it becomes blatantly clear now that he NEEDS him :'((#sonic prime season 3#my art
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This was basically the last two seasons, right?
#sorry if someone already made this joke but i thought it was funny#boy this poor kid needs therapy#everyone does#everyone needs therapy#also hi! i finally finished the show and i can finally interact with this fandom ^^#lmk#lmk mk#lmk pigsy#lego monkie kid#pigsy#lego monkie kid pigsy#lmk s5 spoilers#mabye?#idk#this could absolutely work with wukong too but im gonna shut up now
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#Steven universe#Steven universe memes#Steven universe future#su#it do be like that#I’m glad this boys getting therapy#lord knows he needs it 😭#he just like me fr
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so we all know edwin was in hell and charles was abused by his father. both were in horrible, violent situations, and neither deserved it. but i think the way they do (and do not) talk about their experiences are very revealing.
because, edwin brings up hell every five minutes. he plays the trauma olympics like a pro. and he's comfortable doing that because he knows he didn't deserve it. but he never talks about the actual details of went on in hell, only that it was absolutely awful. because though he is incredibly open about the fact that he went through a traumatic situation, he is very closed about the details of that traumatic situation. this is likely because he was raised in the edwardian era, and, well, people were hardly open about the details in their emotions at that time. and i think the fact that edwin never really talks about it means he's likely never really processed it. in the case of the light leapers, he sees a babydoll head in the gift shop and turns it around while visibly afraid. he has these residual, lingering fears, and they are never addressed, because he never actually addresses them. he has either fooled everyone around him into thinking that by mentioning hell, he is processing it, or charles is just so determined to be peppy that edwin is able to flit around, solving cases, while no one ever questions the depths of the impact hell had on him.
now, charles, on the other hand? you have to pry the fact that charles is traumatized out of his cold dead mouth. he will jump through all sorts of hoops, wave away all sorts of questionable comments, because he doesn't know he didn't deserve it. having an abusive parent is different from something traumatic happening to you. edwin has full confidence throughout the entire show that he does not deserve hell, that it is a clerical error. but charles? the person who is supposed to love and protect him at all costs is hurting him. and we know that he was physically abusive, but like, we don't know the details of what else went down, coz charles never talks about it. & charles never talks about it, and i'm gonna take a gander that it's likely because he is embarrassed and ashamed because he thinks he did something to deserve it. AND because charles feels this pressure to balance out edwin always talking about his trauma. so between the guilt from thinking being abused was his fault, & the guilt of bringing the group's morale down, charles absolutely never discusses his trauma. and, most of the time, that's ok, coz he's able to jump around from adventure to adventure without ever having to process his death.
edwin copes with being alone in his trauma for years by talking about it all the time in a casual manner, as if it's not properly a big deal. he doesn't have too much guilt attached to ending up in hell -he understands it was not his fault- and subsequently, is comfortable being open about it's existence.
charles copes with being abused by his father by hiding it away and pretending it didn't happen, because he has so much guilt and complicated feelings about it that he is not able to talk about it in a casual matter, and he thinks that, if he did, he would be judged for it.
#god they need SO much therapy#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#analysis#renew dead boy detectives#payneland#save dead boy detectives
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"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU
Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.
His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.
(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)
Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.
(something I'll get into later)
He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.
While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.
He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.
They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.
His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.
Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.
His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.
Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.
I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.
Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.
Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.
Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.
(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)
Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.
They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.
But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#additions. opinions and brainstorming are encouraged!! i'd love to hear what other people's thoughts on this are and brainstorm with them.#the brainstorming is the best part.#stillborn? no still born au#poc danny fenton#stillborn au#long haired danny fenton#danny isn't surprised by the fact that the fentons were greenlit for foster parenting considering some of the foster parents HE'S had#those two ideas differed in who found out about who first. Whether it be Bruce or Danny. bruce finding out about danny first results in#Bruce seeking him out first and being able to explain his side of the story first without misunderstandings. this is the Happy Version#Danny finding out about Bruce first results in him getting an official DNA test done and intentionally seeking him out to introduce himself#except when he finds out about damian's existence his shit self worth results in him jumping to the conclusion that his bio family never#wanted him in the first place. that they weren't looking for him and instead just up and replaced him. This is the Fucking SAD Version#and includes a conversation where Danny looks Batman dead in the eyes and tells him that he was 'daddy dearest's fucking reject'#danny completely unaware that batman = bruce wayne btw. for the extra angst. bruce has to stand there and take it. rip#this poor boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and rehab. probably. i've thought about him having an old addiction that he was recovering#from prior to the fentons. but its not confirmed yet. if i go through with it its either gonna be nicotine or like painkillers. i need to#wait and think about it when i'm not on the angst train. i have a tendency to go overboard when i am. its the endorphin high#Danny calls Damian his 'fucking replacement' and Damian tackles him.#starry makes another angsty au
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Any chance you have more doodles of casual intimacy between the surivors? me and my homies Love that Good Platonic Intimacy rep, never be afraid to kiss/cuddle the homies <3
doodles? No. Hajime being Good With His Hands? I do now!
#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#hajime hinata#kazuichi souda#Akane owari#Sonia nevermind#an art#SURVIVORS BEING THOS GOODGOOD FRIENDS. If this is rushed its bc I'm going to the gym and my flatmate is threatening me lol#He knows physical therapy he knows massages he knows tension points. This boy has magic hands#But if I make a part 2 its other ppl taking care of him bc u KNOW he needs tlc#Ok pls enjoy xoxo
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Shovel Talk(s) Part One
Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four
Steve and Eddie aren't even together when Steve gets the Shovel Talk from Eddie's uncle, but it is what tips Steve into talking to Eddie about his feelings, so he's not upset by it.
They aren't dating, not because he doesn't want Eddie, because he absolutely does. It's just that he wants to be sure Eddie wants him back. There are times when he's sure, when Eddie gets into his space a bit too close, or more often, than he does with anyone else. Eddie calls him a thousand and one nicknames, ranging from sweet to irritating but just when Steve thinks that's a perk left just for him, Eddie hands someone else a new nickname (just the one, a voice in Steve's head that sounds suspiciously like Robin says).
Not that any of that is the point. Wayne wouldn't bother to give Steve a shovel talk at all unless he knew how Eddie felt. Wayne is a man of action, and he's never done anything unless it mattered. Meant something. Steve and Wayne have sat in plenty of (what Steve considers to be) awkward silences because Wayne doesn't talk to fill the void of silence.
The point is, Steve drops Eddie off at the house the government so graciously bought for the Munsons, walks Eddie to the door and giving Eddie a hug goodbye. He stays on the porch until Eddie shuts the door and then nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Wayne call out his name.
"Harrington," Wayne says from the shadows of the wrap around porch.
So, Steve jumps and it's only then he notices that Wayne is sitting at the table and chairs set up on the porch. "Mr. Munson, sir, hi. Hello."
Wayne lets out a chuckle, but it doesn't really sound amused. "I have come to accept that you are nothing like your father, boy, but I do want to make it clear to you, that Eddie means more to me than anything else on this Earth."
"I know, sir."
"I know you do. And while I will forever be grateful that you helped return him to me alive, know that I will not hesitate to make you disappear if you hurt my boy in a way he can't bounce back from."
Steve's not afraid of Wayne, not really, but that doesn't stop him from feeling the need to flee. He doesn't, though, because he'd gotten enough shovel talks from concerned parents in high school, and he knows they can sense weakness. "I can't promise I'd never hurt him, sir, but I can promise it'll never be intentional."
He can't actually see Wayne's face in the darkness but he feels sized up all the same.
"I believe that, Steve," Wayne says, and it's the first time Steve's ever heard his name leave the man's mouth, "now go home."
-
Wayne's shovel talk was expected. Robin's is not.
"You took Eddie on a date date?" She whispers it as though they aren't alone in Steve's living room. They're laying on the floor in a line, heads next to each other so if they turn slightly to the side they can make eye contact. Steve's not sure why they always end up on the floor for Serious Talk Time.
"Yeah," Steve says, looking away from Robin's face to stare up to the ceiling, "I mean, sorta? We can't like... be open that it was a date, but we went to dinner and a movie and it was nice. Shared a popcorn and played footsie under the diner table."
"Whoa," Robin says. "I never thought you'd- didn't think you'd be brave enough to ask him."
"Me either."
"Steve," Robin sounds serious, so Steve turns to look at her. She studies his face for a moment before she's the one to look away, speaks to the ceiling, "be careful with Eddie, yeah?"
"What? Careful how?"
"I just think you could really fuck him up," Robin says. "You're his first boyfriend, right? That's going to set a precedent for relationships that might happen if you two don't work out. And I hate to say this, because I know you've changed, but like, I saw how a lot of those girls you dated in high school ended up when you broke up with them."
Steve's a little hurt, because Robin's his best friend. She should be giving this talk to Eddie, not him. But, also, he understands. He knows that Robin knew about Eddie's sexuality before he did, knows they bonded over being queer while Steve was still figuring himself out.
Steve also knows that Eddie's never been in a relationship before, Eddie'd told him at much when Steve asked him out. Steve doesn't like that Robin implied that he and Eddie will eventually break up, but no matter how much that thought makes Steve's heart ache, he won't know if it'll happen unless it does.
He just doesn't understand why she seems to think he'll be the one breaking Eddie's heart. It could go the other way.
"Did you OD over there?" Robin asks, trying to lighten the mood.
"No," Steve answers, "I'll be careful."
-
They've been on four more dates before Nancy knocks on his door. She doesn't accept his invitation to come inside. Just starts speaking on his doorstep.
"As Eddie's Capital P Soulmate," is how she starts that sentence, and it makes something hurt deep inside Steve as he tries not to think about Robin, "I am obligated to remind you that I do own several guns now. And I don't miss."
"Jesus Christ," Steve says, because even Wayne was more subtle, "I got it."
"Good. I do know you'd never hurt him on purpose," Nancy says but Steve doesn't feel reassured.
He thinks that, if she really didn't think he's going to end up hurting Eddie she wouldn't have said anything at all. "Right."
"Well, good talk Steve," and then she's walking down the driveway and climbing into her car.
He closes the door and goes to the kitchen to get himself a beer, mostly so he has something to do besides stew in his emotions. He wonders if Eddie has been given the shovel talk, too? Maybe Robin did the same thing Nancy just did. Showed up unprompted, threatened Eddie with some sort of bodily harm, and then just left.
Steve grabs the phone and dials Eddie's number.
"Hello?" Eddie's voice greets him, albeit questioningly.
"Eddie, it's Steve."
"Oh, hello sweetheart," Eddie says, "are you calling for business or pleasure?"
Steve laughs, "business."
"Boo!"
"Listen, uh, I had a question. I just wanted to know if anyone's said anything to you. About us. Or, y'know, specifically about us and our relationship?"
"Uh, not really? A few congratulations, I guess. Why? Did someone say something?" Eddie's voice is level, almost too level, so Steve knows he's trying to keep cool.
"Oh, no! No! I mean, aside from the scary shovel talk from- Wayne, everyone's been surprisingly cool about it. Very supportive," Steve says and even though it's true, everyone they've told has been cool about it, it feels a little bit like a lie.
Eddie laughs, "I can't believe my uncle gave you a shovel talk! You know, I keep expecting to get one from Robin but so far nothing. She must think you're safe in my capable hands."
Steve is safe in Eddie's hand, he thinks, but that doesn't stop the sting that goes through him. "Of course, she does. You've been a perfect boyfriend."
There's a pause before Eddie's voice comes through the phone, soft and quiet, "I'm glad you said so. I want to be. For you."
"You're not allowed to say those kinds of things when you aren't within kissing distance, babe," Steve says, because if he doesn't add humor to this conversation, he's going to tell Eddie he loves him instead, and even Steve knows that saying that a month into dating is too soon, especially over the phone where he can't see Eddie's reaction.
Eddie laughs and makes kissing sounds at him before the conversation shifts to chatting about the day and making plans for the weekend.
-
Steve is trying really hard to not be the person he was in high school but every time he gets to the point where he's being a better person, someone brings up how he used to be. Shoves it back into his face that no matter what Steve does he can't outrun his past.
One such time is shortly after Steve and Eddie accidentally come out as a couple to all of Hellfire. Steve was just dropping off the boys and had stepped inside to chat a bit. Once game time had arrived it had and Steve made to leave, they'd (he and Eddie) had been on autopilot. Eddie'd whined 'where's my goodbye kiss?' and Steve had stepped over, kissed him goodbye, and was out the door before it had actually computed.
Steve had burst back through the door, rushing back to Eddie, because no way in Hell was he going to leave his boyfriend to deal with whatever the consequences would be alone.
It had been absolute chaos at the table with people shouting over each other.
"Of all the people you could be with, you picked Steve!? You could do better!" Mike had whined, and Steve had thought for sure he was the only one who had heard Mike until he saw Will punch his arm and hiss his own 'don't be a dick' at Mike.
It took almost half an hour to calm everyone down. It was a relief to know that Eddie had come out to his bandmates/the older Hellfire members already. The kids took it in stride, in the end, and Eddie had shoo'd Steve away.
Jeff had excused himself, too, and Steve thought he was just going to use the bathroom but instead he followed Steve outside.
Ah. Steve knows what's coming.
"Harrington," Jeff says, "can't say I'm excited that you're the secret boyfriend Eddie's constantly sighing wistfully about. I'm sure Wayne's already threatened you," And Robin, and Nancy, and Mike doesn't think he's good enough, "but if you hurt Eddie-"
"I get it! There will be dire consequences if I hurt Eddie," Steve snaps, not down for hearing it anymore. He stomps to his car and peels away from the curb without bothering to look back.
-
If he's being honest, Steve didn't even know he had a breaking point with shovel talks until he gets his fifth one from Dustin.
It's not even a shovel talk. It's just a single sentence, said almost a month after Dustin learned about their relationship. He's dropping Dustin off after their DnD game. Normally Claudia picks him up, but she's busy tonight and asked Steve to do it.
"Alright, Henderson, safely delivered."
"Thanks, Steve," Dustin says, unbuckles his seatbelt, and opens the door, before turning back to Steve. He just looks at him for a moment.
"What?"
"I'm happy for you and Eddie. Just, don't hurt him, ok?"
He nods his head but can't say anything. Dustin grabs his backpack, shoots him a smile, and climbs out. Steve does wait until Dustin closes the front door behind him before putting the car back in gear.
He manages to get home, somehow, because Steve doesn't fully remember the drive. It's not that his mind was so focused on something else that made him fail to take in his surroundings, but rather that his mind wasn't even a part of his body anymore.
One moment he was pulling away from the Henderson residence, and the next, he was home, just standing in his kitchen in the dark. And now that his thoughts are back, or easier to process, he finds himself wondering why everyone thinks that he's going to be the one to hurt Eddie.
How many people has he hurt that this is his reputation? Is it inevitable that he will hurt Eddie? Is it truly just a matter of time until he breaks Eddies heart? Why is everyone so convinced that he will?
Briefly the thought occurs to him that maybe he should call up Eddie and break up with him right now, before Eddie has a chance to get in deep enough that Steve could break his heart, but just the thought of it breaks Steve's heart, so he's not going to do that. Doesn't want to do that. That would just be punishing Eddie for something he didn't do.
None of this is Eddie's fault, and Steve's an asshole for even thinking of breaking up with him because of it. Which feeds him back into the loop of thinking that maybe everyone is right about him. He is an asshole and will someday hurt Eddie, perhaps even on purpose.
He loves Eddie. He's in love with Eddie. But does loving him mean proving his friends wrong? Or does it mean leaving him before they're proven right?
He wants to ask everyone why they think he'll hurt Eddie.
He wants to ask everyone why they don't care if he's the one that gets hurt.
#steddie#my fic#we like making steve a sad emotional mess right guys?#steve-centric#we gotta make the boy Sad so that his boyfriend can fix him#is that healthy? not IRL but this is fanfic and if i want Love to solve all the problems then im allowed to do that#only itll be in part two#that might get written one day#is steve putting words into his friends' mouths#yeah duh the boy needs therapy but its the 80s so hes not getting any
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i'm struggling to even put into words how i feel about these two scenes.
i honestly wonder how much of house's facial expressions in these moments were hugh laurie's choice and maybe weren't necessarily scripted, because the episode doesn't really offer any kind of conclusion on how jealous and, more importantly, how deeply fucking sad house looks after realizing wilson has been talking to amber.
first off - this happens a lot in this show, but this is one of those huge instances of "oh, how differently this situation would look if one of these characters was a woman." if that were the case, this whole thing would really be quite simple. if house was a proper Opposite Sex Love Interest, him standing at the door hearing the proof that his unrequited crush isn't over his last girlfriend...well, that would make perfect sense. The level of hurt and jealousy house seems to feel about wilson still being in love with amber is. well. it's Something.
so anyway - house gets that genuinely hurt look at three separate points: #1 is when he realizes wilson is talking to amber (and this moment is especially fascinating bc house's main emotion should arguably be relief at the knowledge he hasn't been hallucinating...but that appears to be taking a backseat to his jealousy for a woman who isn't even alive anymore)
#2 is when wilson tells amber that he wasn't able to go for a run tonight because house is having issues. now, this speaks to the broader problem that - even though house knows wilson feeds off neediness - house is still worried about being a burden to wilson and that eventually wilson will not want him anymore.
Then #3 - when wilson says to house's face that talking to amber makes him feel better when he misses her, and house doesn't. This moment is so painful and interesting to me because house inviting wilson to confide in him feels like a pretty big step in terms of growth! So for wilson to say he'd rather talk to his dead girlfriend than house...well, judging by house's face, the remark cuts pretty deep. (disclaimer: ofc wilson is completely valid for talking to amber; it just also makes sense that house would be hurt by this, especially in the context of him already feeling like a burden and trying so hard to be a better person)
anyway idk where else to go with this . . . i just feel like the episode sort of started to delve into this issue and then never really went deep enough or concluded this aspect - hence my theory that house's level of hurt may not have been scripted and it was just hugh laurie choosing to Do That with his face.
#if anyone has thoughts on this please share them#like he looks like he's in so much pain! it is so painful for him to know that wilson would rather talk to his dead gf instead of him!!#my boys need to be in couples therapy#nolan needs to sit them down and make them talk to each other#house md#hilson#house season 6#house 6x6#house meta#op
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