#bodies are weird who knows
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anyway i worked out with my therapist (state funds yay) that the biggest thing stopping me from seeking hrt now that i just got medicaid is a bunch of fear about being visibly queer that sort of congealed in me being a kid in the 90s but isn't based on anything that's actually happened to me while i have been visibly queer.
i mean like, i held my girlfriend's hand in high school and we all sat at the queer table at lunch. there's other trans people around town. i'm in the south yeah but in a comparatively safe state in a college and tourist town. sooooo yeah i'm making an appointment for may, which is when i can get a ride.
going to spend the whole next month or so looking at stories of other people who started t in perimenopause woo.
#and my hold for this book on perimenopause and menopause just arrived#i checked it out and i'm reading it but it's like#well now i've finally made this decision i dunno how personally useful this book will be to me#such is life#the thing that finally tipped me over was i was talking about looking like senshi in a skirt#and my therapist pointed out how excited i was about the idea#i mean i don't even know if i'll get much facial hair starting at 39 but like#we'll just have to see what happens#bodies are weird who knows
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kacchan telling izuku that his body moved on his own is fucking crazy. like not only did kacchan remember izuku saying that all the way back from the sludge-villain incident but he’s also confirming that izuku’s crazy, boarder-line suicidal intensity is a two way street. it’s not just izuku who is insane about kacchan it’s mutual insanity. kacchan’s body moved on its own. he was helpless but to throw himself into the line of fire when he saw izuku was in danger. he didn’t think about it. he didn’t choose to do it. he didn’t have a choice. it was as if izuku was a piece of his own soul. katsuki instinctually needed to protect him above all else, even at the cost of his own life
#AND HE SAID IT OUT LOUD IN THE RAIN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE#bkdk#bakudeku#hey man just casually checking in uh I would die for you and not even think about it#you know how you almost kill yourself for me that’s like Mutual I guess idk what are we#do I tell my mom do I update my hinge profile#like izuku knows he’s weird about kacchan he knows he isn’t normal about him#and he ONLY threw himself into sludge villain incident when he saw it was kacchan.#and THEN his body moved on its own#and kacchan is the ONLY ONE who saw just how in danger izuku was#AND THEN HIS BODY MOVES ON ITS OWN#his body unlocks a new ability just to get to him faster#they’re just so deeply spiritually and physically connected and it’s MUTUAL
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Rick's leather sling | requested by EVERYONE
#the power this has???#Rick Grimes#*#rg#The Ones Who Live#pls#nice to be attacked by my own gifsets again#HIS UPPER BODY#STAB ME WITH A RAKE#i love arm#anyone got a quarter we can bounce off his chest?#forget about refashioning my legs as a hula hoop.....#i found out what i wanna be when i grow up#also his arm hair but I'm not gonna be that weird right now#i know he's gotta be SOLID as hell#excuse me where is the ticket booth for this ride#nice rack rick#that second gif is just illegal#i'd be more open than Motel 6#would let him raw me in a gas station bathroom in one of those towns in the boonies that are always the center of horror movies#*GLASS BREAKING* *SIRENS WAILING*#*me on my front lawn apologizing to CBS News*#Kay i need to bring back the tag™ remember the tag?#he's so goddamn fine i want his dick in my lungs#that one#classic
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infantilization
#dungeon meshi#aj art#kabru of utaya#Thinking about the way Kabru is regarded by the elf community he was raised in#Even when he’s pretty clearly an adult#As a spoiled child who needs protecting#Bc they don’t view the short lived races as serious humans who deserve respect#And Kabru recognizes this because he grew up with elves#Adding art detail tags bc I put an embarrassing amount of thought into this#I tried to give him duller and rougher colorjng nd shading#And gave all the plushies soft cartoonish shading and bright colors#To illustrate how he actually is vs how he’s being categorized by the elves#I also tried to give him more specifically adult features like arm and leg hair#Eye bags shaven facial hair and scars#To make his body look lived in#Again illustrating that he’s an adult who has lived a life#Which makes him contrast to the cutesy childlike stuffed animals he’s surrounded by#Bc to us and to him the way he’s treated by the elves is really weird#He shouldn’t be lumped in with childlike things when he’s a grown adult#Also I made it so that all the stuffed animals eyes are closed#And his are open#Bc 1. the elves don’t really see him as a person and 2. They don’t really recognize how they’re treating him or why it’s wrong#But he does#He sees it clearly and knows why they’re acting like that
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#yes i did also mean this in the literal sense#one of the great things about being a short bitch is incorporating it into justifications for poor decisions & dickhead behavior#“whoooaaa buddy calm down!!! you're not gonna pummel a *lil* guy are you?? that'd be sorta fucked up of you.#i've heard it's bad luck actually. to beat up someone who's under 5'5“.#i got sgs anyway ya know?? short guy syndrome.#it's where you don't have enough height for your body to contain your weirdness so it seeps out. hemorrhagic strangeness. can't control it.#doc said it's incurable. you can donate if you want. maybe treatment will get me to stfu for a little bit. ball's in your court my guy“#pacific rim#pacrim#newt geiszler#newton geiszler#newmann#(that's hermann in the corner of the shot who newt looks like he's about to gamer rage on so yes the newmann tag is valid)#hermann gottlieb#k sci#k science#meme#shitpost
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You ever notice a running theme in your life?
#death //#trauma //#drowning //#comics#gpoy#art tag#i know it's not an omen lmao it's probably a subconscious thing HOWEVER#i do think it's weird my dm did that#that one did weird me out a bit#let me know if there needs to be more tags i'm just throwing them on here#i'm not going to tag the books even though all three have their own tags that's not the point of this#EDIT: after posting this i realized that there was also that person who drowned when i worked on the cruise ship#which wasn't necessarily about me but it happened the night before i had an appointment with the ship doctor#and they had to reschedule me because they were dealing with the body#anyways
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A doodle of a couple misc hcs I have about Gman's anatomy
#half life#gman#g-man#body horror#eye contact tw#shmorps art#My mindset with this hc was “what if you like. somehow cut him and there's just no blood”#“how freaky would that be”#Also I like the idea that Gman makes his eyes all glowy to fuck with people sometimes#Kinda like an intimidation tactic#Other times it's just a subconsious thing that happens sometimes when he's stressed out#I don't think he stresses out very often though. He doesn't feel like the type to be scared by much of anything#I just wanted to draw his goofy eyes again#I also hc that even if a limb is removed from him he can still move it#And also reattach it if necessary#so thats fun#How does he function without blood you may ask? Who knows. It's not meant to make sense#Eldritch horrors for the win#I dunno. he's neat#edit to elaborate cause I have thoughts: this is purely for his human disguise#In reality he's something else mimicking human anatomy through and through#Like. even the weird muscles are just fabrications. his entire human appearance is false#As for what he truly looks like. it's unknown and incomprehensible
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mildly unsettling househusband Jin Itadori who is married with a child to a body-snatching brain that possessed his dead wife and his cannibal twin brother Sukuna who ate him in the womb a thousand years ago
#what potential! what a dynamic!#you know what i love about this??? they’re BOTH fucked up#jin is more chill and family oriented but in my personal intepretation he KNEW something was up with Kaori#and still went along with Kenjaku#he’s the twin who thinks he’s normal and put-together but his wife has bodies in the basement that he’s pretendind He Does Not See#so yeah weird pair of twins :) love them.#jjk 257#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen 257#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#Sukuna#sukuna ryomen#Jin itadori#itadori jin#my posts
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It is never too late to a) mention fitz on screen or b) put brax in an episode
#they’re not going to do it but maybe if I hope hard enough they will#come on#what could be better than the doctors weird boyfriend from a few bodies ago or the doctors weird brother being in the show#like we know 15 wears a leather jacket at some point#that’s all I’m saying#doctor who#fitz kreiner#irving braxiatel#really out here making posts for like five people aren’t I
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sorry not to be negative or anything i think a lot of the jokes about maria dying are funny but am i the only one who thinks that its taking it a liiiittle too far to flood the comments of the live action actors posts with stuff about how shes gonna get shot or you cant wait to see her die (and yes this is actually happening im not making up a guy to get mad at)
#i KNOW its in reference to the character not the actor in real life but its still weird?#like even if youre talking about the character youre still directing it at a real person. who is also a child . which just makes it worse#i feel like if i was in her position id be a bit freaked out#especially if i didnt know much about sonic and how important/iconic maria dying is#like the top comment on her isntagram post confirming her role is just ''LMAO SHES IN A BODY BAG ''#and theres a bunch of other jokes under that about her dying. most of the comments section is just jokes about her dying actually#with a few people congratulating her and stuff but mostly jokes about her dying .... its weird#and about waht she was wearing maybe she Was making a joke there#but i feel like its just as likely that she was on set in costume at the time#and isnt allowed to show what maria looks like yet and thats why she had her face and body covered#theres not really anything wrong with these jokes on their own but why are hundreds if not thousands of people#insistent on making sure the actor herself knows how much you wanna see her die . its so weird
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found a baby yaku amidst the Sketchbook-glitch-corruption wreckage..... wondering if he flipped skin tones between black and red and everything in between until he saw his to-be-grandparents (and started mimicking THEIR skin tone....... )
#thinking about yakumo having weird lil homunculus proportions or other such variations#what if he just always had massive hands compared to body size. yaoi hands from birth-transformation#he was so anti-snake that he looked at hands and said YES. THIS IS THE LEAST SNAKEY I CAN BE. I WILL GO 600% ON THIS FEATURE SPECIFICALLY#changing forms from entirely obsidian... or red in patches.... or striped... or other combinations...#because he only had murals to base his human form off of? at least at first?#were the murals in colour? shaded with gradients and lighting oh so conveniently?#then how was he to know what skin tone humans are supposed to have???#imagining the first few times he encountered his grandparents in his cave#maybe they only saw a shadow with eyes darting back into the darkness#just a really long black noodle with semisnake semihuman eyes (just a hint of sclera)#and every time they visited#yakumo observed more of their features#and took on something similar to their proportions...? or hair colour? or skin colour?#and maybe even when he's first adopted into the family and leaves the cave#he's still a vibrant pink and everyone thinks he somehow got sunburnt inside a cave or smth#but then he starts seeing all the other people in the village#including diff age groups and kids who are supposedly around his age#so he starts to slowly morph his body toward those characteristics#his skin gets beige-r. reshapes his eyes a bit.... grows a bit of nose.....lengthens his limbs a bit...#(the big humans seem to treat me the same as that speCIFIC group of smaller humans... so maybe i should use them as a Model)#like... how do you even age in a human body when you have no reference for how humans age?!??!#did yakumo stare at several children in the village and watch their growth year by year#and match his body to their changes just to fit in?#did nature just know what to do?? and he just naturally grew like a human without manual manipulation?#I DEMAND ANSWERS#nu carnival yakumo
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Happy ten years to transcendence au and almost as long to Brian the organ duck! How time flies...
I haven't drawn anything for this au in ages but I did remake the 8tracks playlists on Spotify if anyone uses that. Before Brian shows up, imagine Dipper and Mabel are discussing songs to add to the answering machine playlist (which. that's. Did I mean hold music all this time? lol)
#transcendence au#carliedraws#carliedrawstau#traditional#sketchbook#i stopped being a mod like nooot even a year in because. life. but i have always held affection for the au since#might take a spin through the blog to see what happened on there since i left#yall are so creative#maybe ill do an actual entry for the raffle contest thingy? or is that weird cause i used to mod LOL#but for now this because i was feeling nostalgic#audio#did i have a playlist tag#organ duck#body horror w#the thing I can't believe about this character#is that the initial idea for him came from someone making fun of how i said oregon ducks in a stream#i should stream again someday#i dont do digital much these days because of eye problems but i can do it in limited stretches#(how ELSE is one meant to say oregon ducks. no one i know around here says ore-uh-gone)#(i live in non-OR part of the PNW tho and my dad is from OH so. who knows lol)
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Hi hello, I was struggling with my Spooktober challenge, but wanted to draw something today, so I ended up with this:
He is Very Shape, so I had to lmao (I don't draw animals much, so it was a bit tricky, but hope it came out okay!)
Also, terkkuja toiselta suomalaiselta, meikäläisiin törmää niin harvoin :D
.
#oh no the boy#he looks like his soul is about to leave his body#what goes on behind those saucer eyes I wonder#the horrors it's gotta be the horrors#the shading and lighting are absolutely delicious!#so many good hues and shades#the orange purple and magenta#I use cool colors so rarely (practically never) so it's straight up ~weird~ seeing Machete with a blue color palette#but it works it makes him look even more out of sorts than average#I'm liking all the sharp angles on his ears#oh and the lone strand of fur between them! I draw that too!#I find it terribly flattering when I get gift art from people who say they don't draw furries/animals very often#because if they're willing to venture outside their comfort zone like that it must mean they really truly like the character#I only draw human characters under extreme and unusual circumstances I know how daunting it can be#to switch from a familiar subject to a more foreign one like that#so I see the effort you put into the piece and I appreciate it!#gift art#lumilasi#own characters#Machete#kanssasuomalainen! virtuaalinen yläfemma o/
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for the ask game
tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love
for the ask game!
DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.
it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.
it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.
i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.
Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.
when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.
#necrotic festerings#dicktim#tim drake x dick grayson#dick grayson x tim drake#timdick#batcest#mpreg#nsft#to be clear i'm so not here to yuck anyone's yum about mpreg in the confines of like. normal guy giving birth#it's just not my personal wheelhouse#and tbf you could do this with trans!tim and make it work#but as an afab trans person who's infertile i won't lie. i forget afab trans ppl can have babies.#fully goes over my head.#if you ever read one of my fics and go “why didn't they use protection he could get pregnant??”#know the answer is i fucking *forgot* most afab ppl are fertile.#same with periods bc i don't get mine. straight up forget everyone else does a monthly blood sacrifice.#anywhore#this one is a tad out of my wheelhouse so it was fun to think about!#bc usually i wouldn't explore an idea like this so it was a fun challenge to see how i would do it#do love that mid typing it i checked comic dates to see if steph was 'dead' and she was then i continued on like nothing happened#2006 was a weird era for comics.#i think a soft idea is a fun lil palette cleanser after the dead dove so this one was cute!!#anyway more mpreg should have just the weirdness of pregnancy#messy hormones! cravings! body changes! being unable to tie your own damn shoes!#that's the FUN of it#like dick would regularly see tim naked even before feelings bloomed just because tim needed help getting in his damn pants.#so when feelings start dick is sweating for his life helping Tim dress like. don't be suspicious. don't be suspicious.#tim in dick's clothes bc his own don't fit anymore >>>#i do love mommy kink tho it's my fave how'd you know.#fussy bottom mommy tim. how i love you.
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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anyone else soooooo fucking normal and sane
#zero escape#vlr#virtue's last reward#zero escape phi#phi vlr#I KNOW the reasoning of the first one like the rad6 and everything but it still makes me crazy. she still feels that way at one point#something something who else having the most fucked up existence ever#being a double clone who only exists because of an experiment. an accident in a way. she isnt supposed to exist#and her role in the grand scheme of things is largely out of her control. what agency does she have in any of this? to have her body be#cloned and frozen and poisoned and burned and etc etc#im normal#i promise#trevor.txt#tl;dr she makes me insane#girl who is so normal#the point of this is like. highlighting how weird her existence is if it wasnt clear#what she is is not a normal human being. she is a paradox and an experiment and an accident. its iust. a Tad crazy to me#phiposting
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