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torukmaktoskxawng · 2 years ago

Text

‘anla

part two out now

Summary: Ao'nung is carefree and rude, to say the least. All he needs is the fear of Eywa in him, and a girl from the Omatikaya clan unexpectedly straightens him out.

Pairing: Ao'nung/Fem!Na'vi!Sully Reader

Warnings: Mature language, violence, mentions of blood, harassment, death threats, teenagers acting their age, time skips, overprotective fathers, military dad, puppy love, canon compliant, slow burn, etc.

Word Count: 5k+

Tag: #'anla ao'nung fic

Na'vi Words: ‘anla - yearn for, ikran - banshee, pa'li - direhorse, skxawng - moron, tsaheylu - the bond, marui - pod homes, tsmuke - sister, tsmisnrr - nectar lantern, olo'eyktan - clan leader, tanhì - bioluminescent freckle, akula - shark like, tulkun - whale like, maite- my daughter, sa'nok - mother, Iknimaya - Rite of Passage, matxe'lan - my heart, ilu - dolphin/plesiosaurlike, txampaysye - gill mantle, Ayram Alusìng - Hallelujah Mountains, sa'sem - parents, tsakarem - tsahik in training, tsahik - spiritual leader

(I do not consent to my works being reposted or copied)

read it here on ao3

"It's called a punch, bitch! Don't ever touch my sister again."

"Get him, Ao'nung!"

"Show him!"

"Stop this! Stop it! So stupid!"

"Ow! My tail!"

"My ear! Let go! He's got my ear!"

Kiri had begun to laugh the nerves off, amused by the ridiculous display of testosterone in all her short teenage life. Hiding her giggles behind her hand, all she could do was watched as her brothers pathetically fought for her dignity against Ao'nung and some of the other reef boys. It had all been fun and games until she noticed a familiar figure in the sky and she craned her neck up to see it.

A shadow looms over the boys, darkening the world around them as it drew closer. Lo'ak and Neteyam both take a moment to recognize the shadow before dodging out of the way, hot blood cooling from the fight as they quickly moved out of the reef boys' reach. Ao'nung, laughing because he thought they were running scared of him, was the last to see the shadow, only pausing when he noticed his friends looking up and their eyes widen in horror. He isn't given a moment to turn around because something large lands in the shallow water behind him and the force of it drove him to stumble into the wet sand below him. The growling and snarls coming from behind the chief's son send chills down his frame, despite the warm day, as he finally turned his body around to stare up at the beast.

Blocking out the sun above him was a large ikran, light blue with gold lightning running up its figure, cawing loudly as if it had caught a meal. Its wings splash in the water, digging into the sand beneath and cooling off like a tired pa'li. Ao'nung began to crawl away from the ikran by the heel of his hands and feet, breath panting rapidly as the fear took over. The fear didn't lessen even as the ikran's rider dismounted, feet splashing into the beach water, drawing up to their ankles. Ao'nung tried to control his breathing as the rider stood over him, snarling down at the Metkayina boy like he was a bug that was stepped underfoot.

Y/n te Suli Neytiri'ite bore a look of disgust, her bright yellow eyes boring into Ao'nung's very soul. Without looking away from him, she addresses her ikran, her four-fingered hand petting down the side of the beast's neck, "Easy, girl. He's the wrong kind of fish. You can't eat him."

Looking around, the oldest daughter of Toruk Makto demanded answers with a stern tone, acting years older than fifteen, "What's the meaning of this?"

Lo'ak spat blood onto the sand, "They called us freaks."

Blink and you would miss it, but for Ao'nung, who refused to look away in fear of the ikran and her rider, he caught the small shift in Y/n's ears before they reverted back to normal. Her tail twitched, too, and from observation, he realized this was the Forest People's way of showing alertness or agitation.

Kiri had caught onto her sister's shift in behavior as well, her voice cautious, "Y/n..."

"Go home, Kiri. Now." Y/n's voice was flat, rid of emotion as she took charge of the situation, pointing to her twin brother, "'Teyam. Pick that skxawng up and go wash your face."

Neteyam nods dutifully, bending down and grabbing Lo'ak's elbow, the younger boy rolling his eyes at the name-calling. Y/n's eyes narrow at each of the reef boys before directing her gaze at Ao'nung, who stiffens under her close inspection, "As for you... You think it's hard to learn your ways. So why don't you try learning our ways and you can be the judge of that?"

The female Omatikaya gestures to the ikran behind her, one corner of her lips slowly turning up as a challenge, "Go ahead. Make the bond."

In response, Y/n's ikran hissed, fangs bared and jaw open wide. Ao'nung could feel the hot breath of the animal fanning his face and could see down its throat. Suddenly the courage and the teasing had left his body. Eyes still wide, unable to look away, Ao'nung can only swallow down his rapid breathing while Y/n just huffs, unimpressed, "As I suspected. You're not even brave enough to get back on your feet. You wouldn't last ten minutes in the forest, Fish Lips."

Y/n waited until all three of her siblings were walking away before she made the tsaheylu with her ikran and mounted the creature, eyebrows raised while peering down her nose at Ao'nung, "Who's the freak now?"

She had flown away, leaving Ao'nung in the sand, the ocean brushing his legs while his friends stood around, gawking. After returning her ikran to the jungle behind the village, Y/n bounded her way back to the Sullys' marui, internally preparing herself for what her siblings likely told her parents. She was not disappointed as she turned the corner, entering the tent to only find her father waiting for her, her siblings already gone from sight.

"What the hell were you doing back there?" Jake demanded under his breath the moment he saw his eldest daughter.

"What do you mean?"

"Do not try playing dumb with me right now. Your brothers already told me what happened."

"I was humbling Ao'nung." She scoffed, smiling to herself as she mocked the boy not currently present, "He couldn't bond with an ikran even if he tried. They would eat him."

Jake sighed, exhausted beyond his years at her antics as he placed one hand on his hip and the other on his pounding head, "You weren't trying to humble him, Y/n, you were humiliating him. And you knew what you were doing."

She shrugged, "Either way it's a win-win. A bruised ego is a lesson-learned ego. That is, if he's smart enough to actually learn his lesson--"

"That's enough, young lady," Jake spoke sternly, the marine in him making an appearance, "Ao'nung is the chief's son. You either need to get along with him or at the very least respect him."

"And I am Toruk Makto's daughter!" Y/n snapped back, "Maybe respect should go both ways."

"Enough."

The tone drove Y/n to straighten her posture, glaring into the space ahead of her, avoiding her father's gaze as he approached her, "Any more backlash comes out of that smart mouth of yours and you'll be grounded from flying."

Her bottom lip pokes out as she pouts. Jake's eyebrow raises at her reaction and the simple facial movement is all Y/n needs before she mumbles out, "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now get lost." Slouching, she turns to leave.

"Hey..." She turns back to find her father standing there instead of the marine, his features softening into curiosity, "How scared was Ao'nung?"

A grin slowly dawns on Y/n's face, stretching the stardust on her cheeks, "Terrified."

"Atta girl."

~~~~~~~~~

It was close to eclipse and both Neteyam and Y/n were flying their ikran, bows in hand, and enjoying a few more laps around the island before they were forced to return to the village. Neteyam makes a hand gesture and instructs his ikran to dive, his twin closely following them on hers.

They land in the jungle, their ikran hooking their claws into the trunks and vines of the vast trees. Breaking the bond, Y/n jumped to one branch and then skillfully climbed down the trunk, Neteyam not far behind her. The twins land gracefully on the forest floor, their conversation cut off midsentence to the sound of a twig snapping. Both of them spin their heads in the same direction they heard the noise, their ears wildly twitching with every little sound they heard. Finally, with bated breath, the figure behind the noise emerged. It was Ao'nung, walking towards them from the direction of the village, a big bruise now sprouting over the right side of his face.

"Does this guy have a death wish or something?" Y/n muttered to her brother, all the while peeking up at her ikran nestled in the trees above her.

"Don't react until we know what he wants," Neteyam advises, leaning his weight onto his bow, acting casual.

A little smug to spite her brother, Y/n called out to Ao'nung as he approached them, "Little far from the reef, are we Fish Lips?"

He doesn't react to the insult other than a small sneer gracing said lips. When he stood still in front of the twins, they both noticed how he was struggling to look them in the eyes. His fingers twitched, trying to find something to do while he muttered, "I did something... some would think dumb."

"Some?"

"Tsmuke." Neteyam hissed at Y/n from under his breath.

Ao'nung continued, ears flattening to the point he looked ashamed of himself, "I brought your brother hunting outside the reef. And..."

"And?" Neteyam urged him to continue.

"And I left him there."

Y/n's head tilts at the same time her pupils shrink and her fangs make an appearance, "You did what?"

"I thought he'd find his way back to the village eventually, but he still hasn't returned. I just wanted to scare him!" Ao'nung defended himself, albeit a bit weakly, his eyes pleading when he finally looked up at stared directly at Y/n, "That's all!"

She huffs a laugh of disbelief through her nose and it sounded irritable. Y/n peered over at Neteyam with narrowed eyes, "I was right, brother. He does have a death wish."

"That's enough, Y/n!" Neteyam keeps a hand out in front of his sister to keep her at bay, then uses that hand to point accusingly at Ao'nung, "And you! We're going to see my father and you're gonna tell him what you told us. Let's go!"

Defeated and preparing for the inevitable, Ao'nung has the decency to at least lower his head in shame, half of his face still swollen from the fistfight so he winced in pain when he pouted. Neteyam moves to lead the three teens out of the jungle and Ao'nung moves to follow him. A hand shoves his arm, however, and the hiss Y/n breathes into his ear as she walked past him was the exact opposite of friendly.

"If my little brother is dead out there because of you, I promise not even Eywa will find whatever is left of you."

The twins had marched Ao'nung to their family's marui, demanding he explains to Jake what he did. After carefully listening, Toruk Makto didn't hesitate to seek out Tonowari and together they start a search party. It was already dark by the time the party set out, carrying tsmisnrr lanterns and other means of light around as they flew around on their tsurak. Neteyam and Y/n even took part in the search, flying their ikran back out after their parents made them promise to stay within sight of the village.

Soon enough, a Metkayina warrior hollers out a warning call, indicating he had found the missing boy. Lo'ak was safely brought back to the village and everyone had gathered around to check on his well-being. Neteyam and Y/n landed in the sand and rushed up to meet with their brother, watching him with their eyes as Jake and Neytiri inspect him for physical wounds. Overall, he appeared unharmed, all the while he glared up at Ao'nung, who had the decency to look ashamed. As the olo'eyktan insisted that his son was to blame for this incident, Lo'ak surprisingly came to Ao'nung's rescue, blaming himself and speaking for the other boy's innocence. Jake was not amused by Lo'ak's method of gaining friends and sent the boy home after berating him for shaming the family. Once alone, both Jake and Neytiri turn to Neteyam.

"Where were you?"

"Yeah, what happened to keeping an eye on your brother?"

"Sorry, sir."

Y/n, always her brother's shadow, stepped up from behind him, appearing in the soft glow of the village lanterns, "No, it was my fault. I asked 'Teyam to come flying with me and hunt." When both parents turned to one another, exchanging a voiceless conversation, Y/n's tail twitched, "You DID say we should always pair up if we ever go flying over open water."

Jake's posture deflated, eyes closed to refrain from getting another headache, "Sweetie--"

"He can't be in two places at once, Dad," the teen girl stated with drooping big eyes and lowered ears, "That's not fair. Instead of relying on your son to look after your kids, how about the parents do it for a change?"

The words stun both the parents and brother, all three staring at Y/n in shock as if she had just grown a second head. Neytiri's shock is the first to shrink in and turn to guilt, bottom lip puckered as she moved to reach out for her daughter. Jake didn't contract whatever sentiment his mate was feeling, however, as his posture stiffened back into a former olo'eyktan and war leader. He pointed an accusing finger at her.

"This attitude, Y/n, wherever it came from, stops now. This rebellious phase is over, young lady."

"Ma Jake." Neytiri's tone was gentle, with a small hint of a threat, as if daring Jake to interrupt her, "She is fifteen. Do you remember what you were like at that age? Although I doubt this personality is not a phase. I believe it is from watching you."

Jake looked back at his mate, scandalized while Neytiri just smiles and places her hand on Y/n's shoulder, "Look at her, Jake. Look at both of them."

He dutifully turned to inspect the twins, both of them staring up at him with identical, pouting eyes that nearly made him cave to anything they asked for when they were little. They kept their hair braided and near their shoulders, aligned with beads much like the hairstyle Neytiri wore when Jake first met her all those years ago. Their tanhì were not identical, Neteyam's forming rounded or lined patterns along his nose and under his eyes while Y/n's appear more scattered on her forehead and down her cheeks like constellations. Neteyam didn't have eyebrow hair, Y/n did. He didn't have an extra finger on each hand, but Y/n did. Both looked like Neytiri, which was easy to see, but Neteyam inherited more Na'vi features from their mother while Y/n definitely inherited the alien features from their father.

Neytiri admired her two oldest children with a fond smile as she reached out to grip her husband's arm, "They are the perfect balance of what we were like. They inherited the best parts of us."

A beat of silence is left between the four of them before Jake relents, unable to look his children in the eyes any longer and waving them away, defeated, "Go rest. Make sure your brother's alright."

"Yes, sir." They both say simultaneously, trying not to appear rushed when they quickly made their exit, beads clinking together as their braids moved while they walked.

~~~~~~~~~

The next day, both Neteyam and Y/n were surprised to discover Ao'nung hanging out with Lo'ak willingly, and Lo'ak didn't appear bothered. In fact, the future olo'eyktan didn't seem interested in being anywhere unless with the Sully kids and his sister and Rotxo. He still appeared wary of them, but at least he wasn't insulting them under his breath anymore. At one point in the early afternoon, all the kids huddled around on the rocks by the beach after their chores were done and had asked Lo'ak what happened the night before. He explained how he was attacked by an akula but saved by a tulkun. The reef children doubted his story until Lo'ak gave a brief description of the creature. Tsireya, Ao'nung, and Rotxo were all shocked and explained the horror stories they knew of Payakan, unwilling to believe he could have been friendly to Lo'ak until the young Omatikaya stormed away.

Y/n had listened quietly and waited until she was back in the marui to voice her thoughts while she and her twin were weaving a fishing net together, "He's confusing."

"Who?" Neteyam looked up and caught the knowing look in her eye, "Ao'nung?"

"Yeah. He's acting... nice. He's actually sweet when he's not around the other reef boys."

"Yeah, he acts like he's related to Tsireya." Neteyam chuckled lightly through his nose.

"You think Lo'ak made up with him?"

"I think so. Or maybe some level of respect and understanding has been placed."

"Still. He was cruel." She snarled, willing herself to remember the reef boy up until the day they met him, "I don't understand how Lo'ak could forgive him. He nearly died because of Ao'nung. Kiri was harrassed by him and you guys fought."

Neytiri and Jake both enter the marui and weren't ashamed to admit they were eavesdropping when the Na'vi woman pitched in on the conversation, sitting down in front of her twins to help with the net, "He's likely just starting to warm up to you, maite."

Neteyam grins teasingly, eyebrow ridge raised in his sister's direction while speaking to his mother, "Yeah, her especially. You should see the way he stares at Y/n when she's not looking, sa'nok."

Y/n feels her neck crack when she spun her head to stare at her brother, appalled as he laughed. Obviously, he must be right about Ao'nung staring when she wasn't looking since this was all news to Y/n. Her shock turns into a scowl as she reaches over to push his shoulder, "That's ridiculous. I attacked him with an ikran, ridiculed him in front of his friends, and threatened to tear him to pieces if anything happened to Lo'ak. He's likely planning another way to humiliate me."

Jake was cleaning his gun while they talked but took a moment to side-eye his daughter when she mentioned threatening the life of the chief's son. Y/n only smiled back in response to her father's silent scrutiny, her tail waving behind her with feigned innocence. Jake returned to his weapon while shaking his head, though he didn't hide the small corner of his mouth turning up. Neytiri smiled while watching the interaction, though it didn't reach her eyes. A small wave of sadness embraced her, a harsh reminder that her babies were growing and she could not keep them forever. Soon they'll be old enough to be considered adults once they have fully completed the trials of their Iknimaya, and then they'll be free to choose their mates. The idea of her children teasing each other over innocent little crushes brings both fondness and sadness to Neytiri's mind. Where had the time gone?

She shuffled from her sitting position in order to reach her daughter, pulling a braid out of Y/n's face, "People are cruel when they're faced with something they don't understand, matxe'lan."

"Neytiri, don't you dare try to teach our daughter Ao'nung is mean to her because he likes her," Jake spoke up, finished cleaning his weapon and now looking down the sights of it with a certain reef boy at the forefront of his mind, "That way of thinking never worked on Earth and I'll be damned if I let my children believe that sort of behavior is normal."

"It is true." Neytiri's eyes began to glitter with mischief, "Although if you are anything like your father, you'll likely make a skxawng of yourself when trying to impress someone."

Jake nearly chokes while his twins burst out laughing.

~~~~~~~~~

Y/n was disappointed when she was the last of her family to finish chores late in the day, leaving her alone while they were all elsewhere. Tsireya and Rotxo have taken Neteyam, Kiri, and Tuk to the Cover of the Ancestors to show them where their Spirit Tree resided, and Lo'ak disappeared right before then, likely to go meet with his new 'friend'. As for her parents, Y/n was certain they were with Tonowari and Ronal for the day, helping them gather medicinal plants from the jungle. This left Y/n to her own devices, though she didn't have any idea what to do with this newfound freedom, so she started by just casually walking along the beach. She traveled quite a ways, the village now in the distance behind her. The beach was getting thinner to the point where she was surrounded. One side of her held the vast ocean, the other side a dense, deep green jungle. Y/n wondered how long it would take for her to completely walk around the whole island, betting on possibly two days if she did nothing but sleep and walk.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of something breaking through the gentle waves reaching up to the beach, and as her head spins around, her eyes immediately narrow on who was following.

It was Ao'nung, astride a hyper ilu as he himself appeared in a chipper mood, perking up and waving a fin-hand at her, "Hey! Forest Girl! Where are you going?"

"None of your business, Seaweed Brain." Was her immediate response, her internal defenses on high alert. She kept walking away but Ao'nung made sure to keep in stride with her, swimming just close enough to the shore where his ilu wouldn't get beached.

"Well, then let me come with you. Or if you are not actually going anywhere, I can show you a few good spots."

Her head turns back to him, openly skeptical as she pointedly stared at the distant village behind him, "What about your dick friends?"

He flashed her a confused grin, "My what?"

Right. 'Dick' is an alien word. Y/n huffs, rolling her eyes and facing ahead, still walking away, "You know, the pricks you were with while you were harassing my sister. Are they coming, too?"

"Oh. I dropped them."

It was said so casually, but it only confused her more, repeating the words on her own tongue, "You dropped them?"

"I don't like hanging out with them anymore," He shrugged, maneuvering his ilu to drift into deeper waters when it got too shallow, "They're no fun. All they wanna do is annoy everyone."

"And you don't?"

"Ha ha," he replied sarcastically with a deadpanned expression, "Come on, Forest Girl. Do I look like I'm in a position to trick you? I know your ikran is just one call away. I'm not that stupid."

"No?" She feigns surprise even as she slowly enters the water, the ocean greeting her up to her knees. She knew he had a good point and therefore, because of her boredom, decided to humor the reef boy and take up on his offer, "'Could've fooled me. Your stupid enough not to remember my real name."

Ao'nung rolls his eyes, "You don't exactly use my real name either."

One corner of the Omatikaya girl's lips stretches up and she shrugs with one shoulder in a touché motion. Using her tongue to make various clicks and calls, another ilu emerges from the ocean, and Y/n wads over to it, skillfully mounting it and making tsaheylu. Getting situated, she turns to Ao'nung impatiently, "Well? You mentioned a 'good spot'. Let's see it."

His grin wasn't the usual mischievous smile she had grown to correlate with him. It was more genuine and excited, his blue eyes twinkling like when the sun catches the striking blue sea. Y/n blinks in surprise at her own thoughts, quickly shoving them down as she tightens her jaw and her grip on the ilu, stubbornly staring ahead instead of at the boy.

Ao'nung drifted ahead of her, looking back over his shoulder, "Follow me! The best time to see it is at eclipse."

Both he and his ilu dive under the water and with only her thoughts, Y/n holds her breath and wills her ilu to do the same. The scenery vastly changes from land to ocean life, and the beauty below the water doesn't get ignored. Y/n was still fascinated by the ocean, always finding something new and exciting to explore. She dutifully follows Ao'nung and his ilu, smiling at the cute clicks and hums the swimming creatures make to each other. Swimming on an ilu isn't that different from flying on an ikran, only the ikran only have one rider their whole lives. The similarity between swimming in the water and flying in the air is that they both feel like freedom, riding faster than the two young Na'vi could on their own.

It wasn't a long swim, but they had completely lost the village behind them, still following the beach in the opposite direction as Y/n was doing earlier. Eventually, Ao'nung and his ilu rise to the surface, and Y/n follows, greedily gulping down air when she and her ilu breach. As she caught her breath, she looked around, trying to decipher where they were until she follows Ao'nung's gaze, her jaw slowly dropping in awe.

A large shadow had quickly grown over the teens in their approach. Looming above them was a high cliff, connected to the island and facing the open sea. This large rock face was greatly different from the ones Y/n remembered seeing as her family flew away from their home and flew across open seawater. Erosion had eaten its way through the center of the rock face, naturally cutting all the way through the cliff to form a large archway, hundreds of feet above Y/n's head. The only thing connecting the cliff to the rest of the island was the natural bridge made up of stone and plant life at the top of the arch.

"We call this place 'Sänrr Rong,'" Ao'nung explained while watching Y/n's amazed expression, craning her neck to look up at the tall archway, "'The Glow Tunnel.'"

Y/n lowered her head to face Ao'nung, the question on the tip of her tongue before he waves her off, "Wait a moment. You'll see."

And it was perfect timing. Eclipse came upon the pair and before her very eyes, Y/n witnessed a beautiful transformation. As the world darkened, bioluminescent algae began to glow and travel all the way up the inside walls of the rock archway, igniting the tunnel all the way through to the other side of the tunnel. It was so bright against the contrast of darkness that Y/n could look down and see all sorts of ocean life existing below her, an entire ecosystem that lived underneath this archway as she and Ao'nung slowly drifted through it. The water almost looked nonexistent because of how clear it was. The brightness of the arch led all the way down under the water and came back up the other side, surrounding them like a complete circle, giving off the illusion that Y/n and Ao'nung were floating on air, still straddling their peaceful ilu.

Ao'nung softly explains the beautiful sight, not wanting to ruin the illusion for the Na'vi girl, "The waves grow really high in this area, especially during storms. That's why the algae stretch all the way up to the ceiling of the tunnel. My people sing about this place, calling it the 'Doorway to Eywa' in many songs."

"Are we allowed to be here?" She asked, afraid this was a sacred place and as an outsider, she might be overstepping a boundary. This place was way too beautiful for her to be disrespecting it with her presence.

"We're still within the reef. Nothing big swims out here apart from txampaysye. We're safe. Some of the men take time away from the village and come here. Some of them cliff dive." Ao'nung catches a brief scrunch of her nose and eyebrows, an adorable expression if he wasn't trying to figure out her confusion, "You know-- cliff diving?"

Her expression falls into something more blank and impassive, unimpressed as she gestured to herself, "Do I look like I've lived around cliffs?"

He quips back in his own defense, "Do you not have an ikran rookery in the forest?"

"Well, yeah, but all the cliffs in Ayram Alusìng just lead to certain death. We don't have cliffs above water."

Ao'nung's jaw opened in disbelief, eyes bugging out of his skull as if she just told him the most unbelievable news of all time. The shock eventually wears off and is replaced by a shit-eating grin, the mischief she's grown accustomed to finally returning to his smile, "Come on. It'll be fun!"

He moves towards the cliffside and Y/n immediately reaches forward with a hand, words tumbling out, "Maybe some other time. We need to be home soon."

A mocking eyebrow ridge rises as he grins knowingly at her, "Are you sure you're not just scared?"

Her eyes narrow and her ears pin back, unwavering despite the nerves running about in her stomach, "I think you and I have been in enough trouble with our sa'sem as of late."

He relents then with a whiny groan, throwing his head up at the sky before coming back down to earth-- so to speak, "Fair enough."

The reef boy clicks his tongue, the ilu perking up attentively. Ao'nung moves to lead the way back home before he feels a hand briefly grip his arm, "Ao'nung."

He looks up, shocked as his eyes meet Y/n's, blue against yellow. Ao'nung's ilu makes a displeased noise, the creature doing a full-body shudder. Y/n didn't question it, but Ao'nung's gaze turned to the ilu, glaring down at it as if the animal betrayed him in some way shape or form. However, unbeknownst to Y/n, the ilu was only reacting to what it had felt through the bond after Ao'nung's name slipped past her lips. Ao'nung's glare relents after a moment, eyes glancing down at her small, alien hand touching his arm before he bravely glanced back up at her through his lashes.

She smiled, genuinely, like when she first saw the beauty of the archway. The attention sent a thrill up his spine, "Thank you for bringing me here."

His mouth felt dry, the tip of his ears burning but he was certain she couldn't tell in the dark. Perhaps the big ugly bruise her brother left on his face masked the embarrassment. He couldn't stare at her any longer and glanced back in the direction of the village, "You're welcome, Y/n."

Eclipse was over by the time they returned to the village. They had not returned as soon as they left, often finding themselves distracted during their swim home when either Ao'nung splashed her or Y/n chased him around on their ilu. Either way, their mounts weren't irritated, equally playful and mischievous as their riders. The young N'avi pair both felt estranged when they heard the other laugh, but it only egged them on to play around more, wanting to hear their laugh again. By the time they exhausted themselves from playing, they realized how much time had passed and finally returned to the village.

The only problem was that the village seemed tense upon their return. The joy quickly fled from Ao'nung and Y/n's faces, both scared and worried they were in trouble. However, the attention was not on the pair of teenagers, but on the gunship with war paint parked quietly on the bank closest to the Sullys' marui.

Ao'nung grabbed Y/n's shoulder instinctively and pulled her back to him, hissing at the sight of the gunship, "Sky People."

Y/n huffed and shoved his hand away, hope in her eyes with a small smile at the sight of the familiar war paint, "No, not these ones. These ones are loyal to the Na'vi and live among my clan."

Cautious and a little paranoid, Ao'nung only relented a little and eyed her down, "What are they doing here?"

That's where the hope died in her eyes, worry replacing it, "I don't know. I doubt nothing good."

The pair quickly rush to the Sullys' marui, finding a crowd of curious and equally paranoid Metkayina crowding up and down the walkways leading up to Y/n's home, worrying her further. Of course, it's always her family...

The first face she recognized was her twin, surrounded by Lo'ak and Rotxo. She rushed to her brothers with Ao'nung not far behind her, "'Teyam?" Neteyam spun around and his posture visibly relaxed, hand reaching out to gently grab the back of her neck as she looked around, "What's happening?"

"Kiri had a seizure underwater." He answered, eyes briefly glancing to Ao'nung standing behind his sister, taking note of it but not addressing it.

"What?" Y/n's eyes widen, her voice dropping to a whisper, shaking in fear.

"I don't know what happened." Rotxo explained, glancing between the teens who had just arrived, "I've never seen anything like it."

Ao'nung frowned, "Where are my mother and sister?"

"They're on their way. But there's Sky People in there, examining Kiri."

"I told you," Lo'ak addressed the concerned Rotxo, "Max and Norm are our friends. They want to help her."

Ao'nung turned to Y/n, "Aren't you the tsakarem of your clan? You could go to your sister."

Y/n shook her head, pulling Neteyam's hand off her head and squeezing it before letting go, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, "I chose not to be. Either Neteyam will find a mate who can be tsahik one day... or Kiri can do it. She's been more fascinated by it than I. And she had been teaching Tuk a thing or two..."

Y/n's eyes widen as a thought dawns on her, looking around before addressing her brothers, "Where's Tuk?"

"She's with Kiri."

"She shouldn't have to see something like that. She's too little."

Before Y/n could rush to the marui to fetch her baby sister, the tsahik arrived. Ronal glides through the crowds as they part for her, the destination the only thing on her mind. Tsireya walked close behind her with her mother's supplies gathered in her arms, handing them to her before Ronal stepped into the home. Tsireya remained outside, turning back to her group of friends, and managing to catch Y/n by the shoulders before she stepped into the marui.

"Let her work, Y/n. My mother needs the space and there are already plenty of people in there."

"But--"

"Your parents and Tuk are with Kiri," the reef girl spoke gently, smiling with understanding and kindness as she guides Y/n away, "She is not alone, I promise. She'll be alright."

The group of teens keep a reasonable distance away from the marui, sitting or standing around in each other's company as they waited. Tsireya kept Y/n close to her as if she was waiting for the Omatikaya girl to bolt. Meanwhile, Y/n took note that her father had brought Norm and Max out of the home, but her mother, sister, and Ronal were nowhere to be found, and that made her more anxious than before.

Rotxo tried breaking the silence, glancing up at his childhood friend, "So what have you been up to today, Ao'nung?"

Ao'nung, who had his arms crossed while crouched down, glanced up casually, "I went to the Arch today."

"Without me? Not cool, man."

The dig was playful as Ao'nung moved to shove him, "Well, you went to the Cove without me."

Tsireya giggled, "But you hate the Cove, Ao'nung."

Ao'nung's ears pin back and his gaze lowers to the weaving patterns of the walkway below his feet, embarrassed, "I do not."

"Do, too. You think it's boring."

"I wanna see the Cove," Lo'ak perked up, "And the Spirit Tree."

Tsireya practically beamed, ducking her head a little bashfully, "I'll take you next time."

"And me?" Y/n asked, smirking to herself when she watched her little brother's face fall at the idea of her tagging along.

Lo'ak tries brushing his disappointment away with a scoff, "Maybe Ao'nung can take you, sis."

"Or we could all go together," Tsireya offered.

Y/n could tell that Tsireya was just trying to be nice. Well, Tsireya is always nice, but sometimes she's a little too nice. She'll gladly let Y/n come along even if it meant not having as much time with Lo'ak. It was disgusting how obvious those two were. Y/n rolls her eyes jokingly and shakes her head, "Nah. Never liked being a third wheel. You kids have fun."

Lo'ak choked as he tried to form words of disagreement while the other kids laughed and Tsireya's cheeks darken a deeper shade of blue. Finally, Lo'ak managed to form words and they were clearly defensive, "You have never been a third wheel ever in our lives!"

Y/n quirks an eyebrow, "Bro, have you seen Kiri and Spider?"

"That's different! You know they don't like each other that way!"

"What way are you referring to?" Y/n grins wolfishly, tilting her head as Lo'ak realized she had caught him in a web, "And what makes you think I was implying you and Tsireya felt that way?"

As the younger Sully boy sputtered, Neteyam groans a little, nudging Y/n, "Alright, that's enough. Leave him alone or he's going to whine to me later."

"Yeah, Forest Girl," Y/n's eyes dart to the sound of his voice, catching the usual grin plastered on Ao'nung's face, "Let the little ones go. I'll take you to the Cove a different day."

Lo'ak bristled at the words, glaring at Ao'nung, "I take it back, Y/n. You can come with us."

Author's Note: Did I write this so I'd have a reason to call Ao'nung 'Seaweed Brain'? Yes, yes I did. For those who understood the reference I fucking love you.

Also, I don't personally ship Kiri and Spider, I just kind of used the pairing as a foothold for Y/n's brothers to tease her. I think they're cute, and I thought that's originally what James Cameron was going for, but the more I look into it the more I think they just love each other like siblings. In the graphic novel 'The High Ground', Kiri even states that she loves Spider like a brother and Spider doesn't question it. I think he loves her like an older sister because she protects him against other Na'vi (Neytiri) and she sticks up for him. She makes him feel like he belongs, hence why he chose her over Quaritch. Also, Kiri is played by Sigourney Weaver. I don't feel comfortable shipping two characters whose actors have zero chemistry and have a huge age gap. Clearly, I think their relationship will build up to something in the upcoming movies (Kiri uses her Eywa powers to grant Spider a kuru braid and he'll be able to breathe Pandoran air without a mask) but I don't think it'll have anything to do with romance.

That's my personal take on it. No hate to Spider/Kiri shippers. I know not everyone ships certain pairings and hates others because of their opinions and that's not what I was doing. I support Kiri/Spider shippers through and through. I also support Neteyam/Spider shippers (lowkey kinda cute) and Lo'ak/Spider shippers (also lowkey cute). Personally, I ship Ao'nung/Neteyam and I know people are going to hate me for that. But I don't hate people for shipping who they want.

Anyway, that's my PSA that ties to this Ao'nung x reader. Hope you enjoyed it!

The 'anla series masterlist here

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anonymous-dentist · 9 months ago

Text

Or: Prince Roier Hires a Faerie to Help With His Divorce (he hasn't gotten married yet)

For day two of @smallchaoscryptid's Spiderbit Week - Fae/Kiss

Once upon a time...

Roier picks his way through the foliage with a grimace. His feet hurt, twigs keep smacking into his face, bugs keep flying into his mouth. This sucks, but it'll all be worth it.

Thunder rolls above, and rain starts pouring down without a second's warning.

...It'll all be worth it.

He's due back at the castle by morning, but, honestly, he'd kinda rather die than go back. If the wolves eat him, so be it!

Grumbling, he pulls his hood up over his head, and he continues onward. If he freezes to death out here, so be it!

He's not planning on going back to the castle alive, anyway.

Legend has it that, deep in the haunted forest surrounding the Kingdom of Quesadilla, there lives a man-eating witch capable of tearing a man's soul from his body before he can so much as breathe in her general direction. Nobody knows this witch's name, but everybody knows that she's totally fucked up: if she isn't eating people, she's eating bears, and her magic is said to be as destructive as the eruption that created the universe.

Roier needs to meet her now.

So he continues trudging through the woods. The lantern in his hand is fighting to stay lit, and his boots are filled with enough water to drown a rat with, but he's fine. He's going to die miserable, but he's fine.

There's a flash of lightning bright enough to blind him, and then there's a crash of thunder loud enough to make him jump and nearly drop his lantern. When his vision returns, the tree in front of him is toppled to the side, leaving only a charred and smoking stump behind.

And then there's the cat.

Roier, frankly, stares. Because... what?

It's a cute cat, at least: brown with black stripes almost like a tiger's and blue eyes so bright that they almost seem to glow in the night. It sits on the stump with its tail curled around its paws, very polite, 10/10 cat.

Hesitantly, Roier approaches. He holds the lantern up to the cat, tilts his head, smiles.

"You're so cute," he coos, bending down to pet the cat between its little ears. "What are you doing out here, eh?"

The cat yawns, and then it huffs, "I could ask you the same question."

Roier screams and recoils and drops his lantern. It goes out, but the forest doesn't grow any dimmer because the cat is fucking glowing now, okay. Okay!

The cat rolls its eyes, tail twitching. "Okay, ouch. I'm not that scary."

"You're a talking cat," Roier breathes. "What the fuck?"

"What, you were expecting the witch?"

A pause.

Then:

"Oh, come on!"

Roier finally collects himself, brushing the water off of his cloak and adjusting his hood and picking up his lantern.

The cat stands and starts pacing the stump in a small, annoyed circle.

"The witch isn't even real," it complains. "She never was! Witches aren't real!"

Roier frowns. "Fuck you, man, my best friend is a witch."

"They aren't. Witches aren't real. Magicians are real, but witches-"

"You are literally a talking cat."

"I am a faerie," the cat corrects, sounding almost pained as it does so. "Faeries are real. Witches are fake. It's all anti-faerie propaganda created by the Federation-"

"By the what?"

The cat flicks his tail at Roier; Roier's mouth shuts, and, to his alarm, he finds that he can't open it again no matter how hard he tries.

The cat angrily swipes a leaf off of the stump. Unfortunately, it is really cute as it does so.

But then it starts complaining again, and Roier decides that this annoying fucking faerie cat isn't that cute after all.

"I haven't eaten anybody in centuries!" the cat shouts. "Fucking Cucurucho..."

Roier's eyes widen.

He waves at the cat until the cat does its magic thing again and allows him to talk.

First, Roier sucks in a deep breath through his mouth. That was uncomfortable.

Then, he says, "I know Cucurucho. I'm supposed to marry him in three days."

The cat's eyes narrow. Its shadow beneath it seems to grow; it tinges itself red like a pool of water with blood in it, wow. That's almost cool.

"That's why I'm here," Roier explains. "I need the witch to kill me so I don't have to marry him."

The cat sits.

"I see," it says. "Unfortunately, the witch isn't real."

"Suuuure, but you are." Roier sneaks closer. "Can't you just-" He opens his hands and wiggles his fingers. "-magic me dead?"

The cat stares at Roier's fingers. "Um. No. Faeries can't kill."

Roier deflates. "Ugh."

With a frustrated groan, he sits on the stump next to the cat. The cat grumbles, but it doesn't, like, magic him onto the ground, so that's kinda nice of it.

"But," the cat says, slowly as if questioning itself as it speaks, "I can get you to kill for me."

Oh. Now there's a thought. But...

Roier looks to the side at the cat. "I've tried. I'm pretty sure he's immortal, man."

"You haven't tried killing him with faerie magic. Now, come here."

The cat hops off of the stump and pads into the forest. After a moment, Roier follows.

They walk until they reach a hollowed-out tree. Then, the cat hops into the tree and mutters to itself as it looks for something.

Eventually, the cat pokes its head out of the tree with an opaque brown bottle held in its mouth.

Roier takes the bottle and turns it over in his hands.

"This," the cat says, "is extract of unicorn. Mix this in with Cucurucho's food, and he'll be dead by the end of the night."

Roier's mouth twitches. It'll happen, just like that? Just like that? Decades of oppression over just. Like. That?

"Okaaayyy," Roier drawls. He looks back up at the cat with a small smile. "Thank you."

The cat responds by clambering out of the tree and lounging on a branch hanging by Roier's face.

"No, thank you," the cat insists. "You'll be doing us both a favor if you manage to kill that asshole."

"If this kills him, you'll be a hero."

"Oh, I'm no hero. I'm just..." (The cat grins with far too many teeth in its mouth.) "...an invested party."

Well, the cat is probably evil. But that's fine. So is Cucurucho, and two wrongs make a right, right?

Well, wrong! Because Cucurucho isn't fucking dead.

Roier stomps back to the tree stump with the faerie's empty unicorn piss whatever bottle in hand. He doesn't have a lantern this time because, frankly, he really isn't intent on returning to the castle this time. If he trips over a root and dies, so be it!

The cat is nowhere to be seen. Of course, the bastard.

"Gatinho!" Roier calls. He cups both hands around his mouth and spins in a circle and continues shouting, "Gatinho! Where the fuck are you! Come here!"

No response.

Frustrated, Roier chucks the bottle to the ground and plops onto the stump. He puts his head in his hands and groans.

"I am going to fucking die," he moans. "I can't go home, I need to die, what the fuck."

A twig snaps. A presence ghosts over his shoulder, what feels like fingers grazing his tunic. But, when he snaps his head up and turns around, all he sees is the cat sitting behind him.

Roier's eyes narrow. "You."

"Me," the cat agrees. "Did it work? Is he dead? Please tell me he's dead. He's dead, right?"

"No! He isn't! He thought that unicorn shit was edible glitter! Now he wants it at the wedding!"

The cat blinks. "Huh."

"Yeah, 'huh'." Roier huffs and turns back around and hides his face again. "Fuck you, man. You said it would kill him."

"It should've. He's a demon, right?"

"How should I know? He's a fucking bear wizard thing."

"Okay, again, wizards aren't real, magicians are. But you're marrying him, right? How do you not know what species he is?"

"It's not like I'm getting a choice in the matter," Roier spits. He glares into the palms of his hands, shoulders shaking with barely-concealed rage. "Either I marry him or he destroys the kingdom."

There's a pregnant pause as the cat takes this information in. Fair, honestly. Roier hadn't exactly told him that he's a prince. Wasn't important, still isn't important. Doesn't matter if he's a prince if he's being sold off to marry a goddamn bear like he's a common animal.

It's for the good of the kingdom, Foolish had said. He and Vegetta have always liked Cucurucho despite Cucurucho being a legendary fucking creep. It's either you or Leo.

And Roier isn't the one that's meant to take the throne after his parents die.

"Can't you just kill me?" Roier asks. He waves a hand in a random direction. "Just make a tree fall on me or something. It'll be an accident, it's fine, your faerie cops won't know."

"Um, no," the cat says. "That's fucked up."

"Don't you eat people? How the fuck do you eat people without killing them?"

"Who says I killed them before eating them?"

Ah. Sounds about right.

...Kinda cool, to be honest. Imagining a tiny little kitty cat rip a grown dude apart like he's a slice of bread. Almost funny in a way.

Roier jumps as something brushes the hair out of his face.

He jerks his head upright and glares down at the cat, now sitting delicately in front of him.

"I have an idea," the cat tells him. "Follow me."

As they walk back to the hollow tree, the cat asks, "Does Cucurucho still have that freaky mechanical sword?"

Roier thinks. "Maybe? I don't know, he kinda just sits and stares at people. Sometimes he chases the servants around with a sword? Dunno if it's mechanical, though..."

"Well, any sword will work. Hold on."

The cat leaps into the tree and comes out with a new bottle, this one clear.

Roier takes the bottle and swishes it around. The liquid inside looks like oil, okay...

"This is dragon's blood," the cat explains. "It's corrosive to the touch, so be careful. Tell him that it's a special polish for his sword. It should eat his skin to the bone and kill him dead."

"Huh," Roier says, suddenly much more careful with the bottle. He gently slides it into his pocket, makes sure it's secure between a bag of coins and his headband. "Okay. Cool."

"This should work," the cat says. "But I'll try and think of something else for if it doesn't."

"Yeah, well, it'd better work," Roier huffs. "I'm getting married in two days. Then the gods only know what he's gonna do with me."

"Trust me, we'll figure it out."

"Trust you? Aren't you some kind of evil faerie cat?"

The cat looks offended. "Excuse you, I'm barely evil anymore. All I do is read these days. Do you know how many books I have at my house? More than Cucurucho, that's for sure."

"You have a house?"

The cat visibly bristles. "Of course I have a house. What, do you think I'm homeless?"

"You are a cat."

"Not all the time!"

Oh, that's interesting. Roier can almost imagine what the cat looks like in a human form, but the idea escapes him at the last second.

"Whatever," Roier sighs. "Just kill me tomorrow if this doesn't work."

Roier doesn't even bother shouting as he storms up to the stump.

He sits, pulls his cloak off, tosses it to his feet, kicks it away. What the fuck!!

He doesn't so much as blink as the cat appears by his side.

"It didn't work?" the cat cries. "Really? That should've worked!"

"Yeah, well, it didn't," Roier huffs. "He wore gloves today. And Cucurucho figured out that I've been sneaking out to see someone at night, so he told my parents that we're going to move to a different castle out in the middle of nowhere. I bet he's going to lock me up, the piece of shit."

The cat's ears lay back on its head. Its eyes narrow, and its lip curls back in a clear snarl.

"I know," Roier agrees. "Fuck this guy for real."

"Fuck him."

"Fuck him!"

Roier smiles just for a second, and he even manages a brief laugh before remembering, right. He's fucking doomed. Right.

Sighing, he slumps to the side until he's tumbling off of the stump and splayed across the ground. He buries his face in the grass and screams.

To his credit, he hardly jumps as a hand firmly settles on his back and rubs it. Small circles, firm hand, big hand, it feels like, wow.

Something- a knee?- presses against Roier's arm firmly. It's grounding in a way. Almost.

"I'm getting married tomorrow," Roier whines. "Just kill me, gatinho. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"I'm not going to kill you, guapito," the cat says. (Roier blushes. Guapito...) Its voice sounds deeper, almost. Louder. More clear. "I can't."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Marry Cucurucho?"

"I won't let that happen."

"Why? Because you want to kill him? Because that hasn't exactly been working so far."

"Because it's super fucked up that he's forcing you to marry him. I don't give a shit about the kingdom, I don't live there. I want him dead, but I'm starting to think that he's unkillable."

The hand moves from Roier's back up to his head. Fingers sift through his hair. Woooow, that feels good. When's the last time Roier got touched this softly? Before Cucurucho arrived?

"I've been thinking," the cat continues. "I've been keeping an eye on Cucurucho for centuries, but he's never tried destroying the kingdom before now. Before you. I think that, if you're gone, then he might leave, too."

Roier cracks an eye open. He doesn't shift his head at all, so he can only just barely make out a hint of cloth. So the cat has clothes when he's a human, that's cool, Roier guesses. Makes him wonder where they came from.

"So... kill me," Roier tells him. "If it'll get him to leave the kingdom alone, kill me."

"I can't do that."

"I'm not next in line for the throne! It's fine! Just push me into the river, I can't swim."

"You can't swim? Really?"

"Well, I can, but I can pretend that I can't!"

"You are so... selfless," the cat says, sounding completely exasperated. "And stupid. No, come with me. I know how we can solve this without killing you."

The hand leaves Roier's head, and then a cold nose is poking at his cheek until he's sitting up and looking the cat right in its little kitty eyes.

"Do you still have cat eyes when you're in another form?" Roier can't help but ask. "That would be really cool."

The cat chuckles. "Maybe. Come on. I have one last thing we can try."

They go to the hollow tree, and Roier waits as the cat scrambles into the tree and surfaces with a necklace clutched in its teeth.

Roier takes the necklace and inspects it. It's a solid gold chain with a little charm that looks like a cat's head. Cute.

"What, is this evil faerie gold that will melt Cucurucho's skin off?" Roier asks.

"No, it's for you," the cat replies. "Wear it tomorrow. When the wedding reaches the climax, take the necklace off and break it."

Roier points at the cat accusingly. "You are going to kill me!"

The cat rolls its eyes. "I'm not. Just... trust me."

Trust the man-eating faerie cat, sure. Right.

Roier sighs, but he puts the necklace on, anyway. It's surprisingly warm around his neck.

The cat almost seems to smile. "You look lovely."

"This thing is going to explode and blow my head off."

"No, you'll see."

And, well. What choice does Roier have but to wait and see?

The final wedding preparations go by in an uncomfortable blur.

Leo comes in to hug Roier goodbye. She then punches Roier in the stomach and tells him to write to her once he's at his new house.

Jaiden comes in to help Roier finish getting ready. She's happy about the marriage because she really thinks that Cucurucho is a good person, and Roier can't help but be happy that she's happy.

Foolish comes in to walk Roierto the church. He and Vegetta each take one of Roier's arms, and they walk.

And then Cucurucho is waiting at the church in front of the altar in an all-white suit. His fur is meticulously brushed, his claws are polished, his smile is painted on, he's absolutely grotesque.

Roier hates him.

"Good morning," Cucurucho says as Roier settles in front of the altar.

"It's sunset, you fucking idiot," Roier snaps. He can say what he wants now, right? He's going to die, anyway. The cat is going to kill him.

Cucurucho laughs, and then the ceremony starts.

Roier tunes out most of the goings-on if only to keep himself from breaking down and breaking the necklace before it's time. The cat said to wait until the climax, so Roier's going to wait for the goddamn climax.

He comes back to himself as the cleric asks if anybody in the audience has any objections to the marriage.

This sounds like a fucking climax if Roier's ever heard one.

"Yes," he says. "I object!"

He tears the necklace from around his neck and throws it to the floor. Before anybody can stop him, he slams his heel into the charm.

The entire church erupts into screams as a blinding white light fills it. Magic tears at Roier's skin, biting and pulling. He squeezes his eyes shut, anticipating the end of it all.

But:

"I also object," the cat says.

Two large hands settle on Roier's upper arms, and he's pulled back and against a firm chest.

Roier tilts his head back- not too far, because the cat's human form is shorter than he is, funnily enough- and his eyes widen as he takes in the most beautiful man in the world. Long hair the same color as the cat's coat, scarred face, feathery earrings, cat eyes.

"No," Curucucho snaps. "No!"

"Yes!" the cat- well, not the cat, Roier supposes- shouts. "The prince is mine! He swore himself to me the moment he accepted that necklace, and so he will go back with me to the Faewild and become my husband. You know the rules, bear."

Leo, in the audience, cheers. So does Foolish, who always appreciates a good show.

"Gatinho," Roier hisses.

The faerie shrugs his concerns off. Roier is annoyed about this for exactly three seconds before he gets caught up in the faerie's eyes.

Could be a worse arranged marriage, that's for sure...

A long moment passes, but Cucurucho eventually says a begrudging, "Yes."

"So," the faerie continues, "you will not destroy the kingdom for this. If the prince has already been promised to somebody else, then he never rejected you."

"Yes," Cucurucho sighs.

"You're hot when you're arguing," Roier whispers.

The faerie's cheeks redden, as do the tips of his pointed ears. Cute!

Yeah, no, this arranged marriage will be way better than the last one.

"So!" The faerie turns Roier around so that they're looking at each other properly for the first time eye-to-eye. "You will be coming with me."

"Yeah, okay," Roier agrees. Hell yeah. "Take me, gatinho."

"'Take me'?" Foolish gasps. "Ooooo, this is getting spicy!"

"All you need to do is say my name," the faerie says.

He leans in close and whispers right into Roier's ear, and Roier returns the favor... with a couple of flirtatious remarks thrown in for good measure. Sue him, he's about to get married to a sexy faerie. He's going to make the most of the situation.

"Cellbit," Roier murmurs, and something tickles at his skin. Something... purple. It feels purple. Soft and purple.

"Roier," the faerie replies. He looks positively flustered, aww. He's going to be so fun to tease once they're out of the church.

As the Faewild's magic starts to pick up, Roier can't help but give the faerie a grateful kiss.

The faerie blinks away from the kiss after a moment of some very eager lip-chasing. His face is completely red, and his eyes are wide and unblinking even as the magic around them whips like the wind.

"There's more where that comes from," Roier teases. He puts his arms around the faerie and smiles. "You're marrying me, get used to it. That's just part of the deal."

Because faeries are all about deals, right? Well, Roier's the best deal this guys is ever gonna get.

The faerie swallows, an eager grin teasing at his face.

"Yeah," he breathes. "Alright."

He pulls Roier's head down for another kiss just as the Faewild swallows them whole.

(Legends say that there are monsters living in the haunted forest surrounding the Kingdom of Quesadilla. Once monster is a man-spider with glowing red eyes and fangs the length of one's sword. The other is a furry snarling beast of a thing with magic worthy of the most powerful of witches.

Ah, but don't worry, my child, for these monsters don't hunt humans.

No, they hunt bears, and isn't that a good thing for us?)

#a.d.'s fics i suppose #a.d.'s fics i suppose.#i really like this one too!! i love fairy tales!#spiderbit #guapoduo #it's cheesy but that's fine

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biorust-art · 10 months ago

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Fearne + Background study

I just love those blue light photos with the fireflies, I've always wanted to draw it and now I have! With Fearnie ofc,, I am not immune to the pretty fawn lady.

[Image Description: A drawing of Fearne Calloway from Critical Role. Fearne is in a green low-cut off the shoulder dress that is bunched up to one hip and a pink under bust corset. she stands, looking out to a blue lit forest at all the lightning bugs around her. Her staff's lantern is lit and it also drips in willow tree fonds and pink flowers. The foreground is a deep blue that slowly lightens and turns to cyan the further back the foliage and trees grow, and many lightning bugs dot the surrounding like a long exposure photograph. End ID]

#critical role #bells hells #fearne calloway #background practice

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unsoundedcomic · 1 month ago

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Whumptober 2024 - 12 - "Starvation"

Your aunties and nannas, your sisters and grammas sent you to me, little eggs? Little eggs, to me? Well, I don't have time to draw in the dirt for you all the arteries of the underneath nor the roads of the world up above, but yes, I am Half Spear Flann, and I have walked both, and I have cut spiderpaws down by their shinbones and finished them at the throat.

Yes, that is the way to do it, little eggs. I'm here in your village to refill my flasks, to fatten my packs, and to lay close with your aunties and nannas, your sisters and grammas, to make more little eggs to kill more ugly spiderpaws, but yes, I am Half Spear Flann, and I will tell you the story of why that is my name.

Many years ago in the village of Small God Umyaralech, the salt dog that was the servant of the great salt lizard Shaensigin, I was only Flann, but there was not one better with the long spear than Flann. I could pin a beetle at a hundred paces, slay Redcaps by the dozen. The wanderers heard this and wanted me badly; wanted Flann to join their wandering along the shores of the Deep Hungry Sea.

I trained and packed, and waited for the wanderers to return to Umyaralech's village. I would leave with them and be a Man then. But long past the mating time, they still had not appeared. More time passed, and the Still Season was soon upon us. The wanderers had not brought meat, had not brought roots. The little eggs bawled and fussed, tired of only bug and saflesh on their plates. The Elders took up spears. They took up lanterns. They kissed the wet snouts of their little eggs and left, to travel themselves towards the hinters in search of the wanderers.

Then, one day, a strange light burned from the blackness outside the gates of Umyaralech. Little eggs thought it our elders and wanderers, and whooped and ran to greet them. But this light was not the blue of lymph nor the warm amber of fire. This light was the colour of sickness, and even the bagmoths would not circle it.

For this light was made by the evil spellery of Spiderpaws, and it poured into our village like plague.

Cutting shards flew as the enemy barked its spells. In pieces, the little eggs tumbled to the ground, heads cut from necks, arms cut from shoulders, tails cut from flanks. I took up my spear as our leaders let loose our traps. For we were not so far at the periphery, we of Umyaralech, that we had not heard tale of the ugly giants raiding inak lands in search of ogre bones and sparkling stones. So stones we gave them! Down carved chutes, boulders thundered from the dark, crushing the fragile bones that hold spiderpaws tall. They are very weak, the spiderpaws. Break the knees, shatter the legs. Their bared bellies are soft as pig wool, and their throats open at a touch.

Flann opened many throats that day, and the nannas were like beasts in defence of clutch and kin. Soon, only two spiderpaws remained there in our home. They looked around at the bloodied village that I think they had not expected to find so large, so angry, so hard. Upon the taller of them, three inak set, raking his back open so the white bones showed through the red and we all saw the thump! thump! thump! of his terrified heart! It thumps still! Don't pity the monster, but that long thought thumps still!

The last human was left to me. Towards my snout he flung his monstrous glowing paw but Flann was not afraid. I threw a body at him - small yellow Sarb, my dead friend, who could sing and braid so well - I threw her body, and the demon's spell bounced against it. I vaulted forward, to that soft and unguarded spot between the thighs, and plunged my spear high. Oh, his scream, little eggs. I was drunk on it, as with a cup of bitter aret juice I had enjoyed when the Fanare'she visited. I wanted more! Into his dancing body I twisted my spear head, again and again, until the shaft snapped, I could no longer feel my fingers, and there was no blue of me left beneath the coat of my enemy's red gore.

Yes, inak mine, yes. Always celebrate the death of evil! Draw it out and celebrate it! For it is rare, and it is precious, and you must not be ashamed to find it beautiful.

Weeks passed, and still no wanderers. Still no elders returned from the dark. We did not expect them to. Among the dead spiderpaws we'd found my Nanna's fine jewelled belt, and many of the wanderers ancient and holy blades. We knew they had died in glory and sacrifice. We knew they never again would return home to taste Shaensigin's salt nor embrace little eggs beneath the blue lymph of Tidalsong. Yet, we of Umyaralech would not starve, there, in the Still Season. We would live, and make new eggs, and one day kill more and more spiderpaws. Little eggs would become elders, and I, Half Spear Flann, would become a wanderer and gather more wanderers to me.

And so though there was no roasted fish on our plates then, nor crisp sea cotton nor pinchers nor salt dog, we ate well that Still Season. Spiderpaw flank is not so fine a meal, but it grows little eggs into inak men and inak elders, and if you have opportunity to taste it, my fierce ones, dig your fangs deep.

Now away from me! Go and make sport with the beetles and balls. But send your nannas hither! For the Dark is deep and cold, and Flann would take into it better memories than these red tales that make your young eyes glisten and gleam.

#whumptober #unsounded

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ofmonstersandlovers · 4 months ago

Note

*slams fist on table* HASSIAN CONTENT HASSIAN CONTENT HASSIAN CONTENT

more specifically: how about Hassian arriving at his grove for the evening and finding the player already there, with a homecooked meal waiting for him? (Sernuk steak and roasted potatoes)

*throws table* HASSIAN CONTENT

Just For You ♡

TW: sfw, cute shit, domestic(?), gender neutral reader, Hassian being a tsundere like normal, mentions of the mayor and Reth (my love), chapaa hate from hassian lol

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The sky gradually darkened with hues of dark blue as nighttime approaches. The familiar sounds of the Grove accompanying Hassian as his feet crunch leaves with each easy step he takes. It wasn't a successful hunt today, leaving him frustrated and tense.

It did not help that the mayor still continued to boast about the prospects of the Chapaas being suitable pets. Despite the wretched things multiplying at a dizzying rate and threatening the balance of the ecosystem. A fact the hunter consistently brings up, and it consistently falls on deaf ears.

Well. Not all ignore his loud concerns - Y/N takes his words very seriously. When they choose to, that is.

It seems so long ago since the human came to the small village. A phenomenon that has been happening all over Palia - the resurgence of humans long since thought to be a legend.

Who would've thought Hassian would be close to a species one considered lost to time?

Adjusting the strap of his quiver, he sees the sights of his home, the Grove. His body sags as he enters the area restricted to most of Bahari Bay and Kilima Valley residents. Though, to his surprise, a savory scent greets him along with the foliage.

There, he sees Y/N, plating up something from the camp fire with a content expression. One that turns to a beaming one as they glance over to notice his presence. Such unfiltered delight stutters his heartbeat. His grip tightens on his bow as he strides closer.

"What is it that you're doing?"

"Well, hello to you too!" The human chuckles as they finish up one of the plates. Straightens from their crouched position to move closer to the Majiri. Allowing the other to see exactly what they were up to. "I wanted to have dinner with you, so I made something! I got the recipe from Reth."

Hassian's gaze lowered to the offered plate - beautiful seared Sernuk steak with honey glazed potatoes greets him. The aroma arousing his stomach, which he was not aware was empty.

Yet what really caught his attention was the gesture. Y/N made him something for them both to enjoy after a long day that felt like hours of agitation.

Hassian coughs, hand raising in a loose fist up to his mouth as he averts his eyes. Feel the sensation of his face warming alongside the loud pound of his pulse.

"You didn't have to do this." Is what leaves him instead of a simple 'thank you'. Needing a moment before he lowers his fist to gingerly take the plate from the human's hands. Peering down once more at his dinner.

"But I wanted to," Y/N shrugs as they made their way back to the campfire. Confident that the Majiri would follow them. And they were right - he follows obediently without complaint. Settling on a log next to them as he forks up a small bite of the potatoes.

The honey flavor mixed with the freshness of rosemary and thyme refreshing to his tongue. Bringing a low rumble of satisfaction from his chest as he forks up a much bigger bite. Unaware of the proud grin that's bright on the human's face as they plate up their own food and eats along with him.

It's... nice.

It's hard to truly describe it, the comforting feeling that settles over them as they eat together with the added lights of the paper lantern bugs fluttering about. Vastly different from sharing food with his mother or trying one of the many new concoctions Reth creates.

He wants this to be a daily thing. Something to consistently come home to.

Oh.

Hassian pauses as he swallows a bite of Sernuk steak, peering timidly over to Y/N who chats about their day. The light of the flickering fire dancing across their faces, bringing illumination to their beautiful features. A sight that not even the greatest poet could properly capture into words.

"Hassian?"

The Majiri blinks out of his thoughts, caught staring silently at the other who only tilts their head curiously at him. Eyes still soft as they gaze at him.

"Everything okay?"

Flustered, he scoffs as he tears his gaze away. The warmth to his face now a burning heat to trails to his pointed ears as he busies himself with another bite of food.

"The food isn't bad," he grumbles around the mouthful, shrugging with his left shoulder as he gestures with his fork. "Continue - what happened with Tish?"

Y/N is quiet for a second before laughing underneath her breath. Continuing the story of their day with animated expressions and gestures.

And as they share the night together, Hassian subtly suggests another recipe that involves Sernuk meat for them to try together.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

#writers on tumblr #writing #writing requests #x reader #palia #palia game #palia hassian #hassian x reader #tsundere hassian #hassian is a tsudnere and I'll die on this hill--

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wing-ed-thing · 1 year ago

Text

Stupid, Stupid, Emotionally Unavailable Erwin Smith (Levi x Reader x Erwin)

Synopsis: You knew him through his cadet years and yours. You practically grew up together and your admiration of him led you right into the Scouts. You thought your affections had been a well-kept secret. Levi thinks Erwin has known the whole time.

Word Count: 17.5k

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns, Robbery, Knife-Violence, Violence Against Children, Alcohol, Slight Timeline Divergence, Reader is Good at Math, Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort

Notes: This was so fun to write I never want to do it again!

The door was still open, and bugs were getting into the shop.

You could see them from around his shoulder. The lantern at the door illuminated the sign that swung above the sidewalk. The sun had set a bit ago, and now, because of the light, bugs were entering through the open door. The steel of his blade reflected the flickering ember. You didn’t like looking at it. It made you upset, but the moths and other winged things entering the store made your guts squirm.

The stool you had been sitting on had been knocked to the ground by your ankles. You stood behind the counter. The cash register sat on the small space in front of you with just enough room for it and an area for customers to place merchandise to ring up—a hook with bags dangled on the edge.

“Are you deaf? Open the register,” the man repeated forcefully, glancing over his shoulder toward the open door. His eyes flickered around, and he slammed his fist on the counter when you did not respond. You jumped instinctively, your focus only then breaking from the swarm of nocturnal bugs. “I don’t like roughing up kids, but I won’t hesitate if you don’t do what I tell you!”

Before you could even think, you popped open the register. Your heart fluttered in panic as the man came around the counter, pushing you to the side. You fell to the ground as he ransacked the cash from the trays. He pocketed the wad of bills, not before catching sight of the small safe that sat underneath. The thief eyed it greedily, and you could do nothing as he seized you by the sleeve, dragging you up onto your feet. A hand made its way into your hair, tugging and tangling painfully at your skull as you were shoved face-first into the safe’s lock.

“What’s in this?” He let go of your hair, having difficulty withdrawing his hand as he ripped out a few strands at the root. You crumpled to the floor. “Open it!”

“I can’t!” You looked up at him with round, pleading eyes. “I don’t have the key—” A cold metal line touched firmly against your neck, causing you to swallow the rest of your sentence. A stream of tears trailed down your cheeks. You could hardly feel their warmth over the chills of fear that vibrated your entire being.

“Go open it!” As a warning, the thief pressed the blade deeper against your skin before letting you go.

You curled on the floor, mind racing at the prospect of performing an impossible task. Surely, this would be where you would die. You looked toward the front door, a part of you thinking you heard movement, hoping your parents would finally return as they told you they would after their errand. Tears hit the ground below you, soaking into the floor. And as you curled in on yourself, you hoped you would disappear into the wood, too.

A sudden blur flashed in your damp peripheral. The thief stumbled back, his weapon clattering to the floor and disappearing somewhere under the myriad of shelves. A brown-clad arm wrapped around his throat tightly as if holding on for dear mercy. From behind his shoulder came a striking blue color.

“Run!” you heard, staring into bright blue irises, “Get out of here!” Booted feet kicked from behind the man, the glimpse of a sleeve visible to you in the lantern light. You scrambled back with no strength to do as he said.

A military cadet!

The large man threw his weight backward, slamming the young cadet into the bookshelves behind him. You heard the cadet groan out in pain as books tumbled off the shelves like a waterfall. His grip on the man’s back ultimately gave out as he fell. The thief shook himself off, and just as he turned to cock his fist against the young, blond cadet, an encyclopedia hit the back of his thigh.

You stood at the opposite end of the counter, hard-cover novel raised in the air, ready to follow up on your weak throw. The look on your face was frozen in petrification as all you could do was cry. But the moment you distracted him was enough because, in the next moment, the thief was slammed down hard against the wood floor.

And that was how you met Erwin Smith.

The papers would laude him as a hero, detailing the story of a young military trainee on a late-night run through town, arriving just in time to save a child from a knife-wielding thief. The story would come and go from the papers, although you wouldn’t learn all that until later.

One of Erwin’s friends, who had also stayed late to get in some extra training, had tipped off the Military Police, who arrived shortly after Erwin managed to singlehandedly take down your attacker. Your parents returned within ten minutes of the incident, confused and panicked, as their shop had turned into a crime scene in their short absence.

You couldn’t help staring as the blond cadet, Erwin, answered questions by the Military Police. He stood straight and looked serious, more composed than you had been. The MPs had scared you so much you could barely speak, not that your talking capabilities were all that functional before their arrival. They quickly moved on to your parents, and the cadet slowly approached you.

You didn’t know how to stand. He looked so official in his uniform, cadet or not. He held his hands behind his back with an unreadable look on his face, and when he stood in front of you, he held his hand out. His neat bangs were slicked to the one side of his forehead, untouched.

“Are you alright?” he asked, the neutral expression switching from stoic to cordial. “I am Cadet Erwin Smith.” You became conscious of your stance. His back was straight, and shoulders squared, but even so, you stood just a bit taller. You shook his hand. His grip was more firm than yours. You offered your name.

“Thank you,” you said in a small voice, watching as the MPs milled around. You and Erwin stood off to the side, just two kids in the middle of something that felt bigger than truly hit home for you. “I don’t know what I would have done.”

“I’m glad I could help.” He nodded. You leaned against the bookshelf behind you, one of the shelves supporting about an inch of your bottom. Erwin continued to stand straight. He offered you a closed-lip smile and a slight shrug. “You helped me as much as I helped you.”

The two of you continued to watch over the scene, the two of you having been shoved off to one of the book-lined walls, forgotten. You watched in awe, never having seen military officers in action up close. Erwin, however, watched on with a certain knowledge glinting in his eyes that yours didn’t. You glanced from the MPs to Erwin.

“Did you want to become an MP?” you asked. Erwin hummed.

“No,” he answered curtly, his eyes glued to the officers.

“Oh.” You reached behind you, tracing the spines of the books on the ledge. You pushed a few back into place, the titles having shifted from when you grabbed and threw one.

“I want to become a scout.”

You didn’t know what to say, only humming your previous response as your gaze returned to the door. The MPs kept it open as they came and went, and the bugs came and went with them.

***

He came by the shop the next day. You caught his uniform jacket and crest as he passed by the window, the sight of him like a dream. Erwin seemed to notice you the same time you did, his thick eyebrows shooting up on his forehead as he excused himself from a group of friends to enter your humble bookstore.

You sat behind the counter on your stool, appearing taller than you looked the day before. Erwin approached you with a mixture of surprise and relief.

“I’m surprised to see you back so soon.” He stood in front of the register. “I wanted to see how you were doing but assumed you wouldn’t be in for a few days.” The corner of his lip dipped, unsure how you would react to him casually mentioning the traumatic incident from the day before.

“My parents still need a cashier,” you muttered with a few bobs of your head.

Erwin bobbed along with you. He meandered to your left, padding as he scoped out the books on the shelves. The word “NONFICTION” was painted in curly letters on a sign posted near the ceiling. He splayed a hand across a series of encyclopedias, just as you had the night before. They didn’t budge, already neatly pressed against the back wall.

“Your strength is admirable. It must be hard being back so soon.”

“You’re the cadet,” you blurted. “You’re the one with the strength. I’m sure you get into fights like that all the time.” Erwin laughed aloud, something about it still proper— at least it was to you.

“I can’t say I do.” He shook his head before facing you with a mischievous glint in his eye. “That one was my first.” Erwin puffed up his chest, nose proudly in the air as you caught the twelve-year-old in him for the first time. Even so, he practically looked like an adult to you. “And when I’m in the Scouts, I’ll be sure to fight titans and explore all the land outside Wall Maria.”

“Titans?” you cocked your head to the side, not quite knowing much about the military or caring. You had heard the word in school, but your parents preferred not to discuss things as gory as Scouts fighting titans around school-aged children. There were Scouts— you often forgot they existed— and there were titans, which existed separately in your mind. As for the land outside of Wall Maria, it had never even crossed your thoughts.

Erwin’s eyebrows furrowed. You smiled at the sight, deciding you thought they looked like two caterpillars. He glanced over the shelves.

“Yeah, you must have a book on them somewhere.”

Not finding what he was looking for at the front, Erwin headed to the back. He looked over the titles quickly, his boots making a solid sound against the wood floor as he descended the row. You followed him, scrambling from your stool to chase after the double-sword crest on his back.

Erwin found a book near the back of the store. He plucked it off the shelf with a flick of his index finger. The cover consisted of a crudely drawn giant with sharp, gaping teeth. It looked real enough to you. You glanced around the empty store, nervousness causing you to sweat.

“I dunno if my parents would be okay with this.” You cast your gaze off to the side.

Erwin maneuvered around you, the open book in his hands as he settled into a nearby loveseat. You glanced around again, but you found no one, only Erwin. He stared at you from his book before waving you to sit beside him.

You sat, hands nervously on your knees. Erwin sat with the slightest slouch as he placed the back cover over your left thigh. You nearly recoiled, swiveling your head around the store to avoid being caught complicit in obtaining inappropriate knowledge.

“Titans are man-eating giants that live outside Wall Maria,” Erwin explained, pointing to a page in the book. You pouted. You knew at least that. “Preventing us from exploring things we’ve never seen before. All the things living out there.”

“But there’s nothing out there.” You shifted in your seat, bringing your knee up onto the cushion as you crossed your arms. Erwin took the rejected book in his lap with a slight frown. “We live behind the Walls because the rest of humanity was destroyed.” You recited the sentence just as you did in school, not quite knowing what the words meant. You nodded as if it were obvious, blowing a hair out of your face.

Erwin stood, leaving the book about titans on the cushion as he perused the rest of the non-fiction section. You watched him disappear behind the shelf in front of you.

“Well, why don’t we have any record of the people who came here when the Walls were first built?” His golden hair popped out from the opposite side, another book in his hands. He glanced down, taking a step toward you before stopping. “My dad has a theory… had a theory. That there was more outside.” You didn’t notice his correction.

He kneeled in front of you, placing another book in your lap. The two pages joined together to show an entire map of the three Walls. Hardly an inch at the edges was dedicated to the territory outside. You had never really bothered with the books at the back of the store—you preferred the medical texts at the front— but you occasionally reread the short fiction your mom read you when you were smaller. As Erwin knelt in front of you in his uniform, you couldn’t help but be reminded of the princes from those pages.

“This can’t be everything,” he said with certainty, but if you didn’t know any better, you would have thought he was pleading. “And right now, all we know about are titans. And we don’t even know much about them at all.” Erwin scrambled back up next to you, opening the titan book again. “These tall ones could eat you in a single bite.”

His voice was laced with wonder. He hadn’t intended on scaring you, as most boys his age tended to like to do, but his words made you freeze. You studied the page, thinking back to the thief the night before. He had been a large man. There were monsters bigger than him?

“Are they all that tall?” You remained glued to the pages as Erwin flipped through them. He did so quickly, his ability to read a lot faster than yours.

Erwin raised the open book to your face, again tapping at more crude illustrations. Kicking legs flailed from the mouth of a giant with sharp teeth. You couldn’t stop the slight quiver of your lip. You put on a brave face in the presence of an older kid. Erwin didn’t seem to notice, more caught up in flipping through the book of gruesome images.

“Some are only 3 meters, but that’s still tall.”

“I’ll grow that tall one day.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I’m still taller than you.”

Erwin stayed to look through your myriad of books. He even bought one at the end of the night when you closed. And the next day, he stopped by again, plucking books off the shelves to teach you what his father had taught him before putting most of them back where they belonged. Over time, you suspected that Erwin ended up buying all of the texts he used to guide you. At the very least, he learned how to use the cash register after a few weeks. And after a few years, Erwin had become a regular at your holiday dinners.

You would see him walking from one side of your display window to the other before he entered, sometimes walking with friends. You met Nile Dok once, but given how he never entered your store again, you didn’t think he liked you very much. You spotted him the most, walking by Erwin’s side. And during times when Erwin quickly stopped to say hello to you, Nile waited on the street.

The closer graduation came, the less Erwin stayed in your shop, but he always made it a point to greet you with a promise to make up any time missed another time.

Then, one day, Erwin came to the shop in his Scout uniform. While the ensemble was hardly different from his cadet uniform, you had practically screamed once you saw him. You scrambled out from behind the counter, leaping across the storefront to wrap your arms around his neck.

“You did it! You did it! You did it! You made the selection!” you cried, feeling the rumbling of Erwin’s chuckle reverberate from his chest into yours. He wrapped his arms around you, embracing you.

“You stop that! You’re going to mess up his uniform!” your mother scolded behind you. Only then did you let go, beaming from ear to ear as you smoothed out the front of Erwin’s jacket.

“Oh, it’s going to take a lot more than that,” Erwin laughed, addressing your mother formally from over your shoulder.

He stood a good novel’s width taller than you now. You swore a few months back that you would catch up when you hit your teenage years. Erwin smiled proudly, and you were glad for him. Nile Dok stood, cross-armed on the street, as he usually did. A few other teenagers in Scout, Garrison, and MP uniforms milled about in a group.

“Me and a few buddies were headed out to celebrate, and I wanted to invite you.”

You blinked in surprise, glancing quickly behind yourself at your mother in an unspoken bid for approval. You rubbed your bicep nervously. To your surprise, she nodded. You suspected it was only because of Erwin.

“You go ahead, just be home at a decent hour.”

“I’ll make sure of it.” Erwin nodded and guided you out of the store.

***

The pub was packed. Erwin’s friends had claimed a cluster of tables in the far corner, stealing chairs from the adjacent area to pull up enough seats for all of them. You stuck by Erwin, him being the only person you knew, as you found yourself utterly lost. The rest of the newly recruited soldiers had just turned the legal drinking age of fifteen; meanwhile, you, at age eleven, sat nursing a sad-looking juice that Erwin had ordered for you. They yammered on about the military, using jargon you couldn’t decipher. Even your waitress, a girl named Marie, seemed to know what you didn’t.

You sat, trying not to look awkward while Erwin and Nile chatted with her. She laughed a lot, and at one point, she even sat down at the table with you all. Both conversations proceeded to prattle on without you, trapped between military talk and more military talk. Marie seemed more than happy to indulge Erwin and Nile in their niche discussion.

“Up, the both of you, let me see them!”

The two boys rose and, with a cheerful—albeit sheepish— reluctance, gave Marie a slow turn. Only then did you realize that Nile Dok wore the green and silver unicorn of the Military Police. They faced each other, Marie cheerfully between them as the rest of the table whooped and hollered at the modeling of their uniforms. Nile glared at Erwin, who didn’t seem to notice. You looked around at Erwin’s comrades nervously, offering a slight clap of your hands before the two boys finally sat down.

“I see you brought a friend this time, Erwin.” Your head snapped up, distracted and looking elsewhere when Marie spoke. She offered you a warm smile, her face round and kind. “I’m Marie, it’s good to meet you.” You mirrored her, telling her your name in return.

“From that bookstore, you like a few blocks away,” Erwin chimed. Marie lit up in recognition.

“Oh, I love that place. My father always used to take me to pick out books.” She nodded profusely, letting her cheek settle into one of her palms. The other held a round, empty drink tray close to her chest. “I think the amount of times he’s had to read Beauty and the Beast to me has shaved a few years off his life.” She laughed, and the notes she let out were beautiful.

“Really? I might have seen you. I usually run the register,” you said hopefully, without recollection of seeing Marie before. “Small world.” Marie took a sip of ale from Erwin’s cup.

“And you’re so close—” She flinched at the flavor, and Erwin chuckled. —“You should really come by more often. I’ll have a drink waiting for you on the house. Neighbor’s discount.” Erwin cut you off before you could speak.

“Not of age, Marie, don’t do that,” he warned playfully, taking a swig of his drink. You saw Marie’s face contort in confusion.

“Oh,” she sounded, cocking her head to the side. She studied your face, leaning forward as she squinted at you. “I wouldn’t have known.” Marie cocked her head to the opposite side. “You can’t be too far off.”

“I’m eleven,” you surrendered, feeling small in a group of teenagers, “I’ll be twelve by next season.” You and Erwin only had a three-year age difference, but the gap between his birthday and yours during this season made it appear a year greater.

“That’ll be just in time for recruitment. Are you planning on joining up with the military, too? If you’re around this one, I can only imagine he’s told you all about it.” She nudged Erwin hard, and he groaned.

“Really, Marie?”

But, in fact, Erwin hadn’t told you about recruitment. Not that you had been thinking about joining the military in the first place. You remembered he spoke about it more when he was a newly recruited cadet. But as the years passed, you realized you hadn’t noticed his talk about the military— and his father’s theory— had dwindled.

“I think you know more about it than I do,” you opted, thoughts swimming. You glanced around the table. “Are you also a cadet?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” she giggled, waving her hands profusely. “Trust me, if you’ve seen me run, you’d know not to put me in any branch!” You were late to the collective laugh that overtook her, Nile, and Erwin.

“Uh…” You looked down at your sad juice, fingers tracing the rim. “I might apply.”

Erwin quirked a brow.

“Really?” he questioned, “I didn’t know you were interested.”

“I was thinking about it.”

And just like that, the conversation became about the military again. A few trainees from your right chimed in about recruitment, mulling over their days as cadets and other pieces of terminology that you still didn’t understand.

Marie, to her credit, kept attempting to pull you back into the conversation, changing the topic every so often to include you. But just as the chatter had gotten away from you, it got away from her, too.

She was beautiful and seemed kind, and you understood why Erwin seemed so taken with her.

***

Time passed slowly for you but apparently did not for Erwin. After checking the clock for the umpteenth time, you discretely rose from your chair. You left a coin by your half-empty cup for the pathetic juice. You tried to interject in the discourse for just a moment, but as you expected, you were utterly tuned out. You bid a polite farewell. Erwin didn’t notice. Marie caught your eye as you took two steps away from the table, wordlessly asking if you were alright, and with an equally silent affirmation, she turned back to the group.

You made it home. You tried to busy yourself with tasks around your room before you found yourself back in the downstairs bookshop. You always thought seeing it locked from the inside was funny, that something about the closed door transformed the space in a way you couldn’t describe.

The street grew darker on the other side of the glass. The name of your family’s shop displayed itself backward to you, but the letters were correctly cast in the shadow of the setting sun. It would be completely dark by the end of the hour.

You lingered at the back of the store, standing in the second half of the non-fiction section. One by one, you pulled books. Titans. Architectural analysis of the Walls. Cartography. You remembered reading copies of them with Erwin as he explained things to you.

You sat with them in the dark, pages splayed over open spines as you tried to decipher them. You tore through line by line, flipping as frequently as Erwin had, trying to understand his infatuation with the mysteries between the lines because you were certain that Marie understood in a way you didn’t.

You held the book about titans on your lap, staring into the crudely drawn illustrations as you had with Erwin three years prior. You remembered what Erwin told you. You could probably have recited what he taught word for word, yet you still wouldn’t have understood.

A shadow cast itself across the floor. You recoiled back into the darkness behind the bookshelves. The figure outside pressed itself against the glass, looking in. Despite the elongated form, you recognized a familiar silhouette of hair.

You peeked out from your hiding place. Erwin was pressed up against the front glass of your shop, hands cupped around his eyes. You retreated, holding your back against the shelf behind you as you pondered your subsequent actions. For once, you weren’t excited to see Erwin Smith at your door.

He knocked. You waited a few moments, breathing slowly and hoping he would leave. He knocked some more.

It was only when you heard him sit down on the pavement that you went to collect him. Erwin perked up at the sound of the latch unlocking, quickly scrambling to his feet as you opened the front door of the bookstore. He looked surprised.

“I was worried about you,” he said quickly. “I didn’t know where you went. You didn’t say anything.” Your heart palpitated, seeing him in his new uniform still a dream to you. And better yet, he had remembered you after all and cared enough to come find you.

You stood in the shop doorway, holding the door against the front of your shoulder. Erwin remained close to you, almost as if waiting to be let in.

“I did,” you assured him. “Marie said goodbye to me on my way out.” Kinda. He glanced between your face and the positioning of the door with a slight frown. “Thank you for inviting me. I’m glad you finally got to join up. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Goodnight.”

“Wait—” You moved to close the door, but Erwin quickly gripped the width of it. You didn’t fight him for it. He pursed his lip. “I’m sorry.”

Mixed emotions swirled around in your chest. An urge to tear up tugged at your sinuses, and you didn’t know where it came from.

“Nothing to be sorry about, Erwin.”

It had turned to night. The street where Erwin stood had been overtaken with dim lantern light, and the moon overhead was full. A few clouds passed over his head, floating fast across an otherwise clear sky.

“We could’ve talked about something else.”

Even in the darkness, his eyes shone with the reflection of the moonlight. The blues of his irises glinted with an acute solemness. They flickered up, and as you followed them, you found a small hoard of winged bugs buzzing around the top of the doorframe. Wiry bodies smacked against the wood and the ceiling, not knowing the difference between outside and indoors.

“I guess I’ll have to become a cadet.” You met his eye, and he held the same surprised expression from the pub. Surprised and impressed. It was an attention that you liked. “So I can understand what you’re talking about next time.” So that you’ll take me seriously. The corner of his lip twitched.

“That’s a poor reason.”

“Well—” Your gaze flickered from the Wings of Freedom crest on his left breast pocket. —“What about all the things outside the Walls?” The solemnity in his eye had sparked into a blaze instantly, yet the rest of his features surrendered nothing. “You told me about them a while ago. You think you’re the only one who wants to see them?”

You recited it perfectly. You would have believed you, too.

“You know,” you continued, glancing back toward the back of the shop and the stairwell leading to your upstairs apartment. “They’d be thrilled if you stopped in. If you’re up for it, that is.”

Erwin didn’t say a word as he pushed the door with a warm smile. You moved to the side to let him in, locking the shop back up behind you.

***

He tried to talk you out of it more than once.

Erwin liked to ask, “Are you sure?”

And you would always answer, “Never been more sure in my life,” before distracting him with something else to get him to drop the topic. But for all your huffing and puffing, you couldn’t say you disliked the attention. Whenever you brought up your intentions for recruitment, Erwin always fell for your bait.

You spent three years in the Cadet Corps, just as Erwin had. You donned the same uniform you had grown used to him wearing. The warm smile Erwin had shone when you first showed him had you riding a high for the following two weeks.

You wrote to him often. Erwin was, after all, a full-time Scout now, and you were busier than ever— training monumentally more taxing than keeping the register at a bookshop, to a lack of your surprise. He offered instructions on how to best perform in ODM gear, how to coil your wires so they don’t tangle, the places to keep stupid clean for inspections…

You kept them in your gear, papers folded to display certain sections of his notes as you practiced morning to night on your skills. The writing grew worn, and the stationery wrinkled from times that rain fell while you were out and then dried again when you found yourself at a fireplace.

He told you about expeditions and when he departed. You had a theory that sometimes he forgot he was writing to you at all. You owned pages of Erwin dumping his thoughts onto paper, long ramblings about nothing and everything all at once. You spent your nights trying to understand because there was undoubtedly something more profound than his words. And after a thorough session of overanalysis, you drafted your responses in perfect synchronization with his, line by line.

His last letter came in before he was sent off on another monthly expedition. Erwin had addressed it, “My Dearest.” You admired how he wrote your name in the following space, observing where the pen lines were thickest and thinnest.

“By the time you receive this letter, you will have already made your branch selection. Congratulations. I wish I were there to celebrate with you as you did with me…” the letter read. The collection of pen strokes shot through your heart. You let the note drop onto your dorm vanity as you vibrated with glee. You caught sight of your reflection in the mirror and then the Wings of Freedom crest on your breast pocket— just like Erwin’s.

You drew your own stationery, ready to reply to his letter, line by line, as you always had. This time, you intended to give it to him in person.

***

The gates opened at an odd time in the evening. Which, given the nature of the Scouts, certainly couldn’t have meant anything good. You waited with bated breath at the headquarters in Trost, watching as your fellow Scouts trudged up the hill. You kept out of the way to avoid being put to work by a supervisor who’d perceived you as loitering. After scanning half of the crowd from your upstairs perch at a hallway window, you finally caught sight of a familiar blond.

You made a break for the stairwell, sliding down the winding railing at the behest of a few passing officers, and dismounted into the courtyard with a start. Meandering horses and soldiers passed you, your singular standing presence parting the group like a lodged stick in river water.

You instantly spotted him, a wave of relief passing over you that he had returned. The feeling faltered as you saw the gauze wrapped around his forehead and left arm. It didn’t take long for Erwin to spot you in return. His brows raised with joyful surprise before settling into something much more sentimental. You offered him a salute, the first in your new Scout uniform. He saluted you back, the reins of his horse in his hand.

“You really did it,” he said, riding up before you. He gestured with his head. “Walk with me to the stables. I want to hear all about it.” You obliged.

And so continued a long history of following Erwin Smith.

***

On the other hand, Levi Ackerman didn’t seem to like you very much. Granted, he didn’t seem to like anyone much outside his two friends. You didn’t blame him, given the way that Erwin had strongarmed the three of them into the military.

“You’re the one who serves the tea,” Levi said as more of a definite statement than anything else. He stared down at you from a step up, his two friends sitting together in the barracks behind him. The scorn in his voice almost made you take another step down, and his thin brows twitched slightly in confusion. He glanced back at his friends, who both shrugged simultaneously.

“I’m a team leader under Section Commander Erwin?” you clarified, which made Levi scowl deeper for some odd reason. You repeated your name, but Levi didn’t appear to be paying much attention. A buzzing sounded from the lamp hanging just outside Levi’s door. A long-legged insect fluttered around the light. Levi stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

“I always see you serving tea.” Your skin burned with embarrassment. You fidgeted, lightly folding the papers in your hands. Did new recruits really think you were just there to serve drinks?

“I wanted to give you these,” you glossed over the implication, offering Levi the stack of small papers in your hands. He looked at them skeptically but ultimately took them from you. Levi flipped through them briskly, bored gaze passing over carefully hand-written notes and detailed diagrams. They looked old. “I had help when I first became a Scout. And training is tomorrow, and I know the three of you were kinda singled out, so…” You didn’t know where you were going with that.

“Thanks.” Levi continued to stare you down.

“Well, that’s all. I hope they can help.” You made your way down the steps of the barracks hastily. Levi watched your back as you retreated into the darkness.

***

“I guess you didn’t need those notes after all.” Given that this wasn’t your squad, Levi was surprised to turn around and see you. You stared past him and up into the trees of the training forest. After your delivery to Section Commanders Hanji and Flagon, they quickly returned to headquarters.

“Hurry up, Newbie.” Flagon had called to Levi, but you had insisted that he could return with you instead.

“Your matters are urgent, Section Commander. Let me take something off your plate.” And with one last pout, he obliged you.

“They were helpful enough,” Levi said, polishing his gear. If anything good came from his current situation, it came in the form of standard-issue cleaning and maintenance products. “You keep thorough notes for an errand-runner.” You laughed, although Levi couldn’t tell if it was sarcastic.

“Expedition Command is no joke, and besides, it let me catch the tail end of your practice.” You sat down next to him. Before the Scouts claimed this section of the forest for training purposes, someone had placed a picnic table out by the tree line. You sat with Levi on the bench, heaving a deep sigh. “Unless you’re complaining about getting time away from Flagon, which, in that case, I can take you back now.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

You leaned back against the table, enjoying the view over Trost and Wall Rose, glancing at Levi, who was now tending to his grips. The sun had begun to float back down to the horizon, although you still had a few hours before it completely set. Peak heat was starting to dissipate, and the light cast a myriad of pastel colors across the thin mass of swirling clouds overhead. You reached into your boot and, retrieving a folded paper and a pen, turned on the bench to study Levi’s reverse grip.

He glanced up from his polishing, double-taking your rigorous notes. You had already drawn a diagram of how Levi held his swords.

“Can I help you?”

You glanced up at him and back down at your notes. A few equations littered the margins. The numbers were small. A few of them were crossed out. Complex diagrams depicting vectors and force lined the bottom.

“Your reverse grip might be revolutionary. I heard Hanji say so. No one’s ever done it before.” Your face lit up much more subtly than Hanji’s did. Hanji had practically passed out on the spot. “Standard techniques might damage your wrists long-term.” You turned to him with a light smile. “Maybe we can troubleshoot it sometime.”

Levi set his gear down, resting his current fixation on his lap. He observed every inch of your face, suspiciously taking in every fold, pore, and curve. Perhaps Erwin knew of his plan for assassination and sent you to do recon. But something about you gave him the slightest doubt of his suspicion.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, the scowl on his lips no more severe than usual. You would learn quickly that it happened to be the face Levi always made. You cast your attention back toward your notes, calculations, and diagrams, shrugging.

“When you join the military, a lot of talk can go over your head. Things can be a little cliquey that way, unfortunately.” You held out the page to him. “It’s rough because it’s based on my estimations, but this might help.” Levi’s nose wrinkled, and he made no effort to take the note.

“I don’t want your boot paper.”

“Not a fan of footnotes?” Levi didn’t laugh. You stifled the goofy smile that fought to overtake your lips. Terrible puns aside, Levi had never seen that expression while you were pouring tea. You put the scribbling into your breast pocket.

“I’m not a fan of gross, sweaty paper from someone’s boot.”

“Fair enough.” You stood, stretching as you continued to stare out towards Trost. You pivoted to face Levi, who had just finished wrapping up the rest of his gear. “Are you ready to head back?”

You mounted your horses, and Levi had to admit that riding back to headquarters with you likely marked his most pleasant experience since joining up with the Scouts. No supervisors were around to talk down to him. No one was screaming. It was just the two of you traveling through wildflowers and tall grass.

Levi stared at the back of your head as you naturally took the lead. You sure had a lot of faith that he wouldn’t slit your throat and ride off, Levi thought. He rode up next to you, his unfamiliar horse jerking to the side.

“You gunning for some job in the rookie— whatever— school or something?” Levi leaned forward to meet your eye. The question left you puzzled.

“The Cadet Corps? No.” Your mouth puckered in thought. Levi veered ahead, your horses slowing down as you traveled carefully down a decline. He scoffed.

“With your thorough lesson plans. What’s even the point of being here?” he jeered.

“Most of that was actually Erwin’s.” Levi perked up at the mention of his target’s name. “We used to exchange letters when I was a cadet. He helped me get through the academy, so I compiled everything into more organized notes. And, well, I expanded some.” He hummed, saying nothing as you entered Trost.

A few people waved to you. You waved back with a smile. Levi continued to follow you down the busy streets.

“You keep showing those titans who’s boss, Lieutenant!”

“I certainly will, Mr. Flynn. Say hello to Mary for me!”

The farther Levi rode with you, the clearer it became that you knew just about everyone. Even the stable boys regarded you casually, taking your horse in immediately as you made small talk. Levi had several questions about you, but none of them would distract him from his mission.

***

That was until the expedition happened.

Levi made himself scarce during the following days, and with no one close to him, no one sought him out to bother him.

“Maybe I should stop by.” You stared out the window of Erwin’s office. He hardly looked up from his paperwork, humming to himself as his distracted brain worked to register your comment.

“Hm? Why’s that?” You stared off in the direction of the barracks. Given your position, pulling Levi's schedule wouldn’t be too difficult. Your eyes focused on your reflection in the glass, and as Erwin sighed and turned to face you, you met his reflection. “Feeling sentimental for my assassin?” You scoffed, turning around. Your knees bent, allowing you to lean on the low windowsill.

“You’re still here, aren’t you?”

Erwin swiveled his head with a playful roll of his eyes. His mouth remained in a stoic line.

“You’re heartless.”

“You? Calling me heartless? That’s funny when you’re straight merciless. Assassin or not…” With a jump of his brows, Erwin turned back around to his paperwork. —“Oh, and thanks for letting me in on that, by the way.” You glanced back outside the window with a slight pout. “Someone’s ordered a hit out on you, and you don’t even bother to tell me.”

“I’ll be sure to let you know next time.”

“Erwin.”

“Hm?”

You had lost his attention again, probably for the better, given that Commander Shadis wanted the paperwork under Erwin’s hands on his desk as soon as possible. You meandered across Erwin’s office, plucking open a side cabinet to reveal all the fixings for a cup of tea. He perked up at the very sound.

Erwin waited for you to start preparing it.

“Would you make me one?” He craned his neck, hoping to catch today’s selection— as if it wasn’t Erwin’s very own tea collection. You didn’t look at him.

“No.”

Erwin’s face fell with an acute shake at your outright refusal.

“Why not?”

You turned with reluctance, the tea already in your hands, ready for brewing. A vein twitched in your forehead.

“Because new recruits think my only job is to bring you tea.” You didn’t miss the little smirk that glitched onto Erwin’s lips. Another bob of his eyebrows. His pen flew across the pages.

“Oh really? And who told you that?” He glanced up at you, another tease at the tip of his tongue. He would only talk this way with you. “Would it be a breach of power if I ordered you to bring me one?” The annoyed tensing of your shoulders filled Erwin with amusement.

“I’m sure Commander Shadis would love to know that you’re abusing your power over your team leaders.” You walked over to Erwin’s desk, and sure enough, you held a second cup of tea. He graciously took it in his hands with a polite nod.

“This is why you’re in my squad.” You held onto the handle.

“Hopefully, not the only reason.” After a beat, you relinquished the cup to him. Erwin thanked you. You sat on the front of his desk, the both of you taking a sip of your drinks simultaneously.

“Oh, I’ll be seeing Marie at the month's end.” You nearly choked. That was a name you hadn’t heard in a while. You didn’t think Erwin had seen Marie again since the beginning of his time in the Scouts. If he did, it wasn’t information you wanted to know. “She sent me a letter recently. She says she has big news that she wants to share with me.”

“Will Nile be there?” you asked, trying to make sense of the situation. Erwin shook his head.

“Not as far as I know.” You hummed into your tea, not wanting to sound too invested.

“You haven’t seen Marie in quite some time. I’m sure seeing her again will be very nice.”

“I think so, too.”

When you finished your drink, Erwin was filling out the last page. He held his teacup in one hand and penned his signature on the last of the paperwork with the other. You gathered it all in one big stack, and with relief, you retreated from Erwin’s office.

***

A pounding came at your door later that evening. Its force made you dart onto your feet, and as it sounded again, you scrambled for a weapon to answer the door with. Opening the door to your unknown visitor turned out to be rather anticlimactic. Levi pushed directly past you, making a beeline for your kitchen.

“Uh, hello…?” You stood at the door in a set of comfortable civilian clothes and a sizable combat knife in your hand. It was late, after all, to be having unexpected visitors. He only stopped raiding your cabinets for a moment to scold you.

“Shut the door; you’ll let in the bugs.” Not knowing what else to do, you complied with his request. Levi stood in your kitchen, a canister in his palm. He turned back to you with his usual deep frown. “Really?” He held the canister up and shook it before raiding your cabinets some more. “The Scout’s resident tea servant, and you don’t even have anything of quality.”

You gaped at the sight in front of you. Unlike most officers, you didn’t live in standard issue housing within headquarters. Rather, the Scouts owned a few apartments in the surrounding buildings. You happened to get placed in one of those through sheer bureaucratic bullshit, but you certainly weren’t complaining about not having to live in a glorified dorm fifty steps away from where you worked.

Still, you huffed at Levi’s audacity, storming forward to slam your hand against the counter extended in front of you.

“Didn’t you grow up in the sewer or something?” you shot back, earning another glare from Levi.

“Yeah, so it’s a goddamn testament when I say this shit is shit.” Nonetheless, he continued to brew the tea. If you were honest with yourself, you were a bit sick of tea for the day. Levi crossed his arms, his bangs falling in his face. “Do you still have that page from your shoe?” You stood, blinking for a moment.

“The… footnote…?” you wondered with a genuine seriousness. Levi rolled his eyes as he grumbled to himself.

“Whatever. Whatever you want to call it. Do you still have it?” He slammed one of your cups in front of you, and by some miracle, the tea didn’t spill over the sides. Levi took a sip from his, physically recoiling as the liquid touched his tongue. He slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Yeah…?” You still didn’t follow. Levi dumped his drink down your sink.

“Get it for me.” From seemingly out of nowhere, he tugged out your notes. Levi slammed them down on the counter, letting the pages splay out. “I want to work on that reverse grip.”

***

Sitting with Levi at your kitchen table as he read over your notes, something about it felt familiar. A single light dangled overhead. Your two plates had been pushed off to the side, the pastries from the market being the only thing Levi seemed to approve of in your apartment. Your tea had about an inch left in the cup. Levi had settled on a blend you didn’t know you had, grumbling something about it being shit but less shit than your shitty tea.

He sat at your kitchen table for hours, following silently along as you walked him through your notes. He wanted to know everything, what every term meant, every figure and diagram. You explained it all as you relived your old notes with older eyes.

In a way, you couldn’t help but be reminded of Erwin and the way he used to teach you.

“I don’t understand the difference here.” Levi slouched over a comparison of two diagrams. “They look the same to me.”

“The difference is that instead of your first knuckle bearing all the force, it would be evenly distributed across your finger. You can bend your fingers the way you have been, but you risk breaking them.” You pulled up another page, layering the two so that the pictures lay one on the other. “And this rotating motion will allow the remaining force of your strike to be absorbed throughout your entire arm once you hit something solid instead of breaking your fingers or shoulder.”

Levi nodded silently along, eyes darting elsewhere as he thought to himself. He mirrored the motion in the air.

“Doesn’t that feel more natural?” Levi hummed, and you didn’t think twice about taking hold of him to guide him in the motion he had been using in his swordsmanship. “As opposed to this. You can feel it right here, can’t you?” You patted the underside of his bicep.

“Yeah, I can.” You stared into his eyes, the sudden realization coming over you.

“Oh, sorry.” You recoiled your hands from him. He returned to studying the papers.

“It’s no problem…” he trailed off. You watched as he pondered to himself, and you subtly checked the clock. The time he had been there wasn’t much of an issue to you; you were just surprised you had talked for so long. No wonder you were all out of ideas for him. You were about to tell Levi just that when he spoke again, “You are wasted in your position.” Your head snapped toward him, wondering if you heard him right.

“What?”

Levi didn’t hesitate to repeat himself.

“You’re wasted as a glorified errand dog,” he asserted. “I don’t know much about the ranks and shit around here, but I know for damn sure you deserve section commander or higher.”

You were stunned and silent. Levi sighed, taking it upon himself to start clearing up the dishware from the table. You shook your head.

“I don’t—”

“You know, I don’t really care if you don’t agree.” Levi moved past you, rolling his sleeves to work on the dishes. “And I’m not going to try to convince you either way.”

Levi’s departure from your apartment was uneventful. After he finished putting away your dishes, you handed him the newly-thickened compilation of notes, and he was out the door. His words about your wasted potential kept you up that night until you overthought yourself to sleep.

***

Once an assassin sent to kill your closest and dearest friend from childhood, you now thought of Levi Ackerman as more similar to a housecat than anything else. He showed up at your doorstep once. You had given him terrible tea and a decent pastry once, and that had turned into a terrible habit of him showing up to your apartment unannounced at least a few times a week.

“It didn’t feel right,” he muttered the next time he stormed through your door. A few of your notes were fanned out in his hands, wrinkled from how he held them in his punishing grip. He wore his full ODM gear on top of his civilian clothes, with filled sword sheaths and all. You just about screamed when he drew a blade. Levi remained focused on the notes. “You said the new technique was supposed to relieve tension, but I’m still getting aches in my knuckles and my shoulder.” You continued to watch his sword.

“Is my apartment really the best place for your ODM training?”

“It’s not like I’m tearing up the place; even if I did, the Scouts would pay for the repairs.”

“Out of my paycheck,” you muttered.

“Better yours than mine. Show me the technique again.” Levi sighed, shoulders dropping in annoyance as he finally lowered the page. He gritted his teeth, tilting his head back in exasperation. Yeah, Flagon was right. Levi really did look like a thug. A moment passed until he deflated, blowing out hot air as he fought his signature scowl. In your opinion, he wasn’t doing a very good job. “...please?”

You sighed, setting aside whatever task you were doing.

“Look, I’m not a trainer. It’s just theory and a mishmash of stuff I know, which can only take you so far.” You crossed your arms, gesturing at him with a shrug of your shoulder. Levi blinked at you, unbothered. “Okay, show me what you’ve been doing.”

That extra set of ODM gear sat compiled in the corner of your already small living room, which Levi had brought a few nights back to practice his basic motions with. You didn’t ask where it came from.

(He had even hidden an extra set of clothes at your place, although it was likely that he had told you where he was stashing them, and you weren’t paying attention or forgot. Both were likely.)

You stood again at Erwin’s tea station, holding an unopened container in your palm. Given the times it had been passed over, you safely decided that Erwin didn’t like the blend. You held it up in the air.

“I’m taking this,” you proclaimed.

“Go right ahead.” Erwin shifted in your peripheral. “Late nights?” He took a comb to his hair, squinting at his reflection in the window. You reckoned he looked pretty goofy from outside, given anyone was watching the windows.

“I guess you could say that. I was told that my tea sucks.” Erwin chuckled, smoothing his bangs out over his forehead one last time.

“Well, I’m honored you’ve decided to raid my stash to turn the tides.” He came around his desk as you closed the cabinets. You pocketed the tea, and Erwin came to stand tall and straight in front of you. He puffed out his chest, his newly laundered dress uniform looking crisply ironed. “How do I look?”

You adjusted his collar. You never did make good on your proclamation to grow three meters tall, and now Erwin stood in front of you with a decent advantage in height. Not that it mattered now as adults well into their twenties, but it struck you how much time had passed.

“You look as handsome as always. I think Marie’ll just…” You took an inhale, putting on the best smile you could. “Marie will just be so happy to see you.” You picked up the mixed bouquet from his desk and handed it to him. “Good luck. I hope you get home safe.”

“And you—” Erwin glanced back up from the tea stashed in your pocket to your face, a coy look about him. —“I take it you have evening plans as well?”

“Hardly,” you laughed bitterly, picturing Levi’s frowning face. Erwin leaned back on the front of his desk, carefully holding the bouquet for Marie by the bound stems. And as he sat, simply staring at you, your smile faltered as you dared to think his expression resembled something sentimental.

Erwin had changed; as much as you liked to think he looked the same as he always did growing up. To you, he did look the same. You saw him just about every day for the past ten years, and the small details of his face had escaped you. He used to have full cheeks, you realized. Now, his face looked far more defined. You wondered when he developed such angular cheekbones.

“You like your bad tea.”

“Wait, you think it’s bad too?”

“I’m just saying to not get too invested in a guy who criticizes your tea, that’s all.” Erwin shifted his shoulders, pulling on the front of his collar before smoothing it out again. You scoffed.

“Believe me, I wouldn’t consider myself ‘invested’ in any sense of the word—” You stopped short. Erwin was staring again, a self-satisfied smirk threatening to give him away.

“So there is a guy.” You protested at the smug waggle of his eyebrows. You searched around your vicinity for something to throw at him. Finding nothing, you reopened the tea cabinet and hurled a teaspoon at Erwin’s head. He ducked out of the way with a light chuckle. “Easy. You know, I really ought to have a word with this tea critic of yours.”

“There’s no guy. And why do you assume it’s a guy anyway?”

“I know you better than anyone else, for one.” Erwin bobbed his head in thought. “And so, I’d like a word.” The clock chimed, alerting you to the next hour. Erwin stood, and you left his office together. You frowned at him as he locked the door from the hallway, not forgetting the bouquet in his hands for a second.

“What’s it to you anyway? You’re off to see Marie.”

Erwin pocketed his keys, eyes avoiding yours.

“When you have the same tea for so long, some wiseass shouldn’t be waltzing in talking about things they don’t know about. That’s all.” You took the canister out of your pocket, studying the label with furrowed brows.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were so passionate about tea.”

Red moved somewhere in front of your face, and as you looked up, the red blur had become a single flower plucked from Marie’s bouquet. Erwin offered it to you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for expedition prep,” Erwin said, breaking you out of your trance. You took it in your hands.

“See you tomorrow.” With one last faint smile, Erwin disappeared down the stairwell.

***

You didn’t have a vase. You had never been gifted flowers before, so the single flower Erwin gave you sat in the nicest, tallest glass you owned. Due to the wide mouth, the stem flopped to the side, displaying the petals at an angle.

You sat at your kitchen table, having just had dinner. An empty plate moved off to the side, you rested your head on your crossed arms, lost in the makeshift container. You tried not to think about how Erwin’s night with Marie was going.

You had seen her a few months back, accidentally running into her somewhere in the market. She told you that she didn’t see many of the old group around— not that you were a part of it in the first place— but that you should join Nile in visiting her at the pub. She owned it now. You went a few times during your cadet years, a part of you wondering if perhaps the two of you could be friends. It never clicked through no fault of your own or hers, and you stopped as soon as you graduated.

With a groan, you buried your face in your arms before snapping yourself back up again. You plucked your black, beat-up leather notebook from the adjacent shelf, and with a pen from a nearby jar, you flipped to one of your pages in progress.

A neat list of Levi’s complaints with the reverse grip sat on the left side of the page, and a jumbled mess of lines interweaved to point toward possible solutions. Some arrows were crossed entirely out, with new lines overlapping them. Unlabeled microcalculations littered the spaces in between, left unfinished when you got to a point where you could do the math in your head.

You stared at the book for a while, scribbling and jotting things you knew were half-hearted ideas. Your guesswork littered page after page until the ink began to stain your fingers, and just when you were starting to get sick of looking at your writing, a firm knock sounded at the door.

It thumped three times exactly, and you buried your face in your hands at the prospect of having to keep thinking about this stupid reverse hold technique. But you brought it on yourself. Naively, you wondered if you could convince Levi to do something else. He seemed like he could be easily persuaded to clean your kitchen. Maybe you could read a book or perform some other leisurely activity you haven’t had the time or energy to do.

“I left it open,” you moaned, “Just don’t expect me to feed you—”

You had expected Levi, but when the door opened, Erwin stumbled through. He held the door with a lazy grip, the front of his long jacket completely undone, exposing his white button-down and dark-colored slacks. His face drooped in the way that most people did when they had too much to drink. Erwin hardly drank, let alone overdrank.

You immediately jumped up, running to the door to support him. Erwin practically collapsed in your arms when you came near, his dead weight almost forcing you to the floor. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, anchoring the both of you firmly to the ground below. Your door didn’t quite close, allowing a sliver of light from the outside lamps to enter your apartment.

He smelled strongly of whiskey. You tried to pull him away to talk to him directly, but he didn’t budge, head buried deep in the crook of your neck.

He just held you wordlessly.

“Marie is getting married,” he said, hardly above a whisper. Your cheek moved against the hair just behind his ear as you turned in surprise. You rubbed your hand gently between his shoulder blades, your other tracing the back of his collar. He tightened his grip on you, refusing to move.

“Oh, Erwin…” You sighed, and you felt him shake once. “I’m sorry.”

After all this time, he was still in love with her.

And you knew it, too. You’ve always known.

You knew it when you went to his graduation dinner.

You knew it when you found his unfinished love letters to her when he was promoted to Section Commander and got his office.

You didn’t know what you were apologizing for.

You let him find comfort in you, taking the time he needed in your presence as you stared off at where the wall met the ceiling from over his shoulder. You felt something deteriorating in you like a slow spiral that settled into what you could only describe as heartbreak. A few tears prickled at your eyes, but you refused to shed them.

After an eternity, Erwin finally rose, the withdrawing of his grasp also withdrawing his warmth. He let out a huff, almost in disbelief of himself. The only evidence of his crying soaked into the shoulder of your shirt.

“Go sit down. I’ll bring you tea.” With another labored breath, Erwin nodded. He slipped out of his jacket. You took it off his shoulders to hang up by the door. He placed his shoes neatly underneath, slowing impressive dexterity for a man who might not remember the night in the morning. Erwin popped open a few buttons on his shirt as he went to sit.

You went to the kitchen, preparing your beverages with the same tea you had always used. He took it from you graciously.

“I only have tea that you don’t like. I thought I’d opt for the familiar one.”

“I can’t say I have the right to be picky,” he laughed lightly, staring at his rippled reflection in the cup. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a problem. What else are friends for?” Erwin watched as you set your cup on the coffee table before you.

“Yeah… friends.”

He glanced around your apartment. He hadn’t been there for quite some time, but even so, little had changed. Your kitchen table sat four, but the one you sat in every time was the only one not neatly pushed in. You have had the same water kettle since you first joined the Scouts. He remembered when you bought it. You were worried that you got ripped off, but more than ten years later, it still did the job. Pages of handwritten notes were designated into piles across every surface, some better hidden than others.

“That’s not your ODM gear,” Erwin pointed out, observing the pile of gear in the corner of the living area. Even if it was yours, keeping swords and sheaths in one’s living area didn’t align with standard policy.

“Oh, um.” You followed his gaze. “I was doing some experimenting, I guess you could call it.” Erwin took a sip of his tea, beginning to sober up some.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Hanji,” he joked, his smile fading as he played with the cup's handle. “How come you never told me about it?” Erwin leaned forward, taking a paper from a pile on your coffee table, nursing his steaming beverage as he glazed over it. He flipped it over. “You weren’t kidding…”

“That’s not even all of it.” You stood, running to grab your journal and the myriad of pages from the kitchen table. Moving your tea out of the way, you splayed it on the table. Your complex mathematics, crude diagrams, and painstakingly thought-out theories. Erwin poured over it all.

You expected him to say something, but he remained quiet. He flipped the pages over, revealing just as sophisticated backs.

“These are our current techniques for Titan-Engaged Combat,” he said, almost to himself. He set his empty cup down. “And you calculated the most efficient navigation for the best gas conservation and highest striking power… Where did you get these numbers? Who taught you this?” Thrown off by his questions, you almost smiled.

“Do you remember the closest shelf to the register at the shop? The first half of the non-fiction section?”

He did remember.

And all this time, Erwin had only thought about what he could teach you.

“I never knew you did this.” He flipped through your journal. It dated back years, and judging by the near identical ones that lined your bookshelf, he guessed it wasn’t the only one. “It’s impressive. It could be, well, life-saving.”

You thanked him awkwardly, not used to sharing your hobby with anyone. Erwin sat back against the cushion of your couch, studying your work. You leaned an elbow back, sitting on your side as you slung your legs over his lap to read with him. And then he laughed, letting his head fall back, and the page drop to your knees.

“What’s so funny?” you asked. Erwin’s chest rose as he breathed in deeply.

“Just Hanji, huh?” he exhaled, another laugh breaking up the stream as he pinched at the bridge of his nose. Erwin shook his head, his typically neat hair turning just a bit ruffled. “I was worried for nothing.”

“Worried? Why were you—”

You didn’t know how it happened.

Erwin’s nose nudged against yours. You felt him lean toward you, and like that, you let him kiss you.

Your eyes fluttered closed. He was gentle, and his lips were smooth. It was clumsy at first, but you quickly learned to follow his lead, falling into a rhythm as his hand ran up your jaw and as far as it could into your hair. You had waited for this moment for so long, but now that it was finally a reality, you couldn’t stop that nagging, sad, and confused pit in your chest.

“Erwin?” Your eyes remained closed as he kissed the side of your mouth, leading a trail of sloppy kisses down your jaw. You found yourself quickly, taking him by the shoulders and pushing him back, holding him at arm’s length as you stared into his wide, lost blues. You shook your head slowly, repeating his name softly. “Erwin.”

He flinched back from you instantly, hands flying again to his face. Erwin rubbed at the skin around his eyes, brushing aggressively over his cheeks and through his now messy hair.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Erwin drawled in a voice you had never heard before. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know what to say. Your knee dipped into the cushion under you as you reached out, trying to place your hands on his. In a stroke of irony, you weren’t allowed to say anything at all.

“Do you not know how to close a goddamn door? You see all these moths—”

All the three of you could do for a second was look at each other. Erwin sat up straight and alert, ready to stand at any second against your intruder. You had shot yourself to the opposite side of the couch in a moment of instinct, and Levi slowly closed your door, making sure the latch clicked.

You shot up after the momentary shock wore off, instantly taking Levi by the sleeve.

“Now’s really not a good time.”

“Is it, now?” Levi stopped, not letting himself be tugged along. He made a point to glance at the cups of tea on the coffee table and back at you. He sent a pointed glare towards Erwin. “Having some evening tea, are we, Erwin?” Erwin stood, arms crossed, as he regarded your new guest.

“Levi,” he acknowledged.

“Levi!” you hissed, tugging him back toward the door. You held it open, practically pleading with him. “Out!”

With a final glare toward Erwin, Levi shrugged your hand off with a jerk of his arm and left. By the time you turned back to Erwin, he was already beginning to collect his things.

“I should probably be going, too,” he sighed, slipping on his jacket.

“Erwin, wait, I—”

“I’m sorry. What happened tonight was inappropriate and extremely unprofessional, especially for a superior and subordinate officer—”

“Erwin, please, can we talk about this?”

“I will see you in the morning for expedition prep.”

You couldn’t stop him as he left.

***

Erwin arrived at the meeting with Expedition Command just three minutes early with Miche in tow. You had been waiting for him outside, several copies of his requested documents organized neatly in your arms, watching other senior officials enter the meeting room. Ever the one to be at least a half hour early, Erwin arriving to a session on time struck you into a panic. You nearly called someone, convinced there had been an emergency. But with five minutes to spare, you heard him from down the hall. You knew his gait anywhere.

He strode with purpose down the hall, jaw as squared as ever and weight to his step. Your heart jumped, the events from the night before still fresh in your memory. You hoped to talk to him after everything had been squared away from the next expedition.

You had bolted up from the bench you were sitting on and stood at attention with a salute. Erwin regarded you coolly, never dropping an ounce of his collected and upright professionalism. You tried not to let the fact that he treated you differently in private whip your thoughts into a frenzy, but his avoidance of your eye wasn’t something you could ignore.

“Ah, you brought the copies. Perfect. Miche can take those from you.” Erwin walked past you, the slight breeze of his quick pace flowing through the tips of your hair. You hardly noticed as Miche towered over you, hands ready to receive your papers as instructed. You craned your neck, looking at Erwin’s back as he approached the meeting room doors. “You are dismissed.”

“Section Commander? Am I not also on this meeting, too?”

“There’s no need for there to be two team leads here, not for meeting this early in advance.”

“But the expedition is less than a week away—”

“Team Leader,” Erwin snapped, turning toward you. His gaze was lidded and cold, and his lips drew into a tight, untelling line. “You are dismissed.”

His words lodged in your chest, swirling around your stomach until you became nauseous. You didn’t remember saluting him or handing Miche your copies. You heard yourself say, “Yes, sir,” but you didn’t remember speaking.

You hurried out of the hall as quickly as possible and then out of Headquarters completely. And with a single stop at your apartment, you rode out of Trost on horseback.

***

“Graah!! Agrahhh!” You slashed your way through the compilation of dummies stationed on the forest floor, each outfitted with durable, twirling arms made specifically for sword training. The force of your cuts caused them to spin with a force of equal magnitude to your strike. You screamed into the training forest, scaring a few birds overhead who flocked out of the leaves above.

Hot, concentrated air blew out your nose as you maintained your labored breathing. You swung your swords, burning red-hot as you made your way through the training area, the sound of metal clashing filling your ears with a piercing scratching sound. Your muscles knew where to strike before you could even process the rapid turns in front of your eyes.

You ducked under a spinning arm, driving your swords up in an arch.

Why were you taken off of the meeting with Expedition Command?

The arm fell to the ground. The force of slicing it off cramped your thumb, giving you another reason to scream and cry out as you slashed at the remaining dummies with reckless abandon.

Why did Erwin refuse to talk to you? If you let him continue, would he have demoted you like this?

The very thought of demotion made your blood boil, your rage launching you to conclusions and your swords in all directions. You weren’t even thinking about your swings anymore.

All these years following, pouring tea and making copies while Erwin wept over a woman he hardly made an effort to pursue? Turning down Hanji’s offer for a promotion within their ranks for this? For a man who never even saw you in the first place—?

An arm from one of the dummies hit you dead in the face. The velocity at which it spun ensured an instant and solid crack in your nose. You shrieked again as you felt a warm stream of blood pour from your face, your last strike sending the offending arm flying off into the forest. And with a final fit of rage, you sent your swords flying, too.

You dropped to your knees in the middle of the busted-up training circle, frustrated tears falling from your cheeks as you brushed your wild stray hairs from your face. You took a second to feel sorry for yourself and another to pop your nose back into place before you went to retrieve your swords. If you kept bleeding, you would reluctantly ride down to Trost to see a medic.

“You should really watch where you throw those things. You could’ve hurt someone.”

As if your day wasn’t bad enough…

“Leave me alone, Levi.”

You could have cried seeing him. Hell, you were crying anyway. Had it been anyone else standing at the edge of the training grounds with your swords, you might have snapped and wailed at them, too. Levi held a stoic expression on his face if not his usual frown. Not wanting to engage, you reloaded your grips with new swords from your sheath.

You turned back toward the training dummies, giving some half-assed swipes to the spinning arms. They didn’t rotate nearly as fast as they just were.

“People are looking for you.”

“Since when did you become an errand dog?” You spat, still refusing to look his way. Tears were still streaming down your face; no matter how you willed them to stop, they just kept coming. You heard Levi shift somewhere behind you.

“I dunno,” he answered, “When did you start sleeping with your boss?”

You whirled around instantly, eyes puffy and teeth clenched as your face contorted in barely restrained rage.

“I don’t! We aren’t—” you barked, the clasp where your swords fit into your grips clattering just slightly from the shake in your hands. You tugged out a portion of your shirt from under the straps on your shoulder to wipe away the wetness from your eyes. “Please, just leave me alone.”

Your newly attached swords dug into the ground adjacent to your feet, and with new tears came more swipes of your sleeve. With your vision so obscured, you didn’t even notice Levi approach you, the reins of his horse in one hand and yours in the other. The sudden appearance made you jump a bit. Levi had thrown your old swords into the dirt. He offered the reins to you again, holding out his arm.

“Let’s go.” His voice was low and soft. Your brow furrowed, your brain still in a fog. Levi spoke before you had a chance, almost reading your mind. “We’re not going back to headquarters.”

You collected yourself with no time to be embarrassed over your display of emotion. You didn’t know why you followed him. Rudderless, you didn’t know what else to do.

***

You tried your horses up between two narrow areas somewhere in Wall Sina. The thin pathway opened up to a broad, square area hidden between the tall buildings. The height of them made the ground below appear dark. Levi led you through the thin maze of alleys until you finally arrived at a slender, rock-faced building with a wooden door. The shudders were open, allowing sunlight to illuminate the wooden floorboards below your feet.

Looking around, you couldn’t tell what the establishment was. There was a bar, but nothing appeared to be behind it. Tables lined the sides of the room, but there weren’t enough to accommodate many customers for dining. A woman sat at one of them, a broom in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She made half-hearted attempts to blow her smoke out the open windows.

Levi exchanged a brief look with her before marching into a room behind the bar. You stepped into the center of the room, lining your feet up with the orb of light that reflected onto the center. You finally noticed how scuffed up your boots were.

Levi was back instantly, motioning for you to follow him up a set of stairs to the left of the bar. By the time you even reached the doorway, he had already managed to make it up two flights. Random items littered the landings, obscuring your path with folded tables, cases of liquor, and assorted cleaning products. You stared up the winding railings, jogging along quickly to follow.

The stairs led to the roof, where Levi was already sitting at a beat-up table for two. A few clotheslines sat behind him with linens blowing in the wind. A mixture of other assorted items was pushed off to the side. A table missing a leg sat upside down. A few broken lamps lay strewn across the rooftop, among other evidence of broken things abandoned. Levi had already poured wine into two tall-stemmed glasses.

You sat on the chair closest to the door, back tense and your bottom at the edge of the seat. Levi swirled the wine in his glass, an ankle slung across his opposite knee as he looked out across Sina. He didn’t speak, let alone acknowledge you. You took the wine in your hand, giving it a swish as he did before bringing it tentatively to your lips. To your surprise, you enjoyed the flavor.

“You didn’t think I’d choose a shitty wine, did you?” Levi lounged back on his slotted wooden chair.

“I just didn’t take you for one to drink, I guess.”

“Fair enough. I don’t make a habit of it.” He placed the glass back on the table with slender fingers. You still held yours, not knowing what to do with your hands. You stared down at it, and the various items littered the ground within your field of vision. You ignored your peripherals completely, avoiding having to look at Levi at all costs.

“You just drink nice wines whenever you please?” you asked absentmindedly, not really looking for an answer. He crossed his arms, adjusting how his shirt sat on his shoulders.

“I guess you could say I have an eye for quality.” You missed his lingering glance, letting the silence between you fester. Levi, all for silence on any given day, was unbothered for the most part. But for once, he wasn’t simply content to let the quiet pass him by. “You and Erwin are close, huh?”

“Please, I really don’t want to talk about this,” you groaned, squinting your eyes closed as you cringed to yourself.

“I don’t ask for my sake, believe me.” Levi played with the base of his wine glass, tracing the circular shape with the pad of his finger. “Who else are you going to talk to?”

The simple question struck you. He was right; you didn’t think you even had anyone else you could talk to about Erwin. There was Hanji, but as a fellow section commander, talking to them about personal matters might overstep some professional boundaries— not to mention if they decided to report Erwin’s abuse of power to the commander. Team Leader Miche didn’t seem to be the type to give the sort of advice you were looking for either.

“We knew each other as kids,” you found yourself blurting after another sip of wine. Levi settled farther into his chair, ready to listen. And he did, patiently drinking his wine as you told him all about how you first met, the holiday dinners, the day Erwin selected his branch, Marie, and the letters. He remained quiet for most of it, only interjecting occasionally to ask questions.

“Do you even want to be in the Scouts? Or is it just because of him?” he asked, somewhere between your recount of the celebration dinner and Erwin’s promotion to section commander. You had never thought of it before. You chose to join to be close to Erwin, and now, having spent almost your whole life in the service, you weren’t sure you could even make a distinction.

“I think in the beginning, it was because of him. And now that I’m good at what I do, I’m not sure where else I would go,” you sighed. “And if I’m good, then why change now, I guess.” Levi scoffed.

“That’s a poor reason.” His words made you chuckle.

“That’s exactly what Erwin said when I first told him I was going into the Cadet Corps…” you trailed off, the smile on your lips fading slowly. You found it funny: your best friend was giving you the cold shoulder; meanwhile, you were venting your frustrations to the man who was sent just a month ago to assassinate him. You kept talking until there was nothing left to talk about. “I don’t know when I fell for him.”

“Well, you’ve always been in love with him. I’ve barely known you for that long, and even I can tell that much.” You nodded along, trying not to take his words as a blow to your pride. You accidentally met his eye. “And I assure you in no uncertain terms that Erwin has been very aware of that, too.” You cringed again.

“You think so?” You buried your face in another drink from your glass.

“Do I think you’ve been breadcrumbed along by an emotionally unavailable jackass so he has an emotional support blankie? Yeah, I do think so.” Every word struck you through the chest. Levi frowned as deeply as ever, a genuine frustration painted on his brow. You wondered if it was your naivety that made him so angry.

“I wouldn’t say I’m in love with him,” you said, only partially convinced yourself. Levi didn’t even humor you with a response.

“Hm.” He stood, empty glass in his hand, as he stretched out his lower back. “I’m going to give you my unsolicited advice, but I’m only going to say it once.” Levi turned to face you as you still sat. His head blocked the sun perfectly from your eyes, a halo of sunbeams shooting out from his short strains of black hair. “If you’re going to stay, at least stay for a good reason. Not because of some schmuck who can’t make up his mind.”

He held his hand out to you, not making a show of doing so. You took it.

“Wow, Levi, who knew you could be so soft?”

“Tch, remind me never to try to help you again.”

***

You thought about what Levi said almost religiously in the days leading up to the next expedition. And as your administrative responsibilities gradually dwindled, you had much more downtime.

Erwin only spoke to you when necessary, and even then, his words were far more sparing than they needed to be. The passive comments should have hurt more than they did, but your racing thoughts only served as a shield to numb the dull ache in your chest.

A week until the next expedition turned into days and then a singular day. All the while, Erwin remained your section commander and nothing more.

The last meeting had adjourned. Commander Shadis had called a gathering of the four section commanders and their team leaders, as was usual before expeditions. Erwin had departed quickly, speaking urgently to various other officers on his way out. He avoided you expertly, ensuring you didn’t have an opportunity to approach him after the discussions. As he made his way briskly down the hall to his office, he heaved a light sigh, he too wrapped up in his thoughts.

He tugged open the door to his office only to find you already sitting behind his desk. Erwin couldn’t help his pause and the apparent surprise on his face, but he didn’t let the expression linger long.

“Can I help you, Team Leader?” He regarded you formally and coldly. You frowned, standing to shrug off your jacket. You folded it so the crest didn’t show before tossing it across the width of Erwin’s wooden desk.

“I’m not coming to you as a team leader, Erwin.” You tried to not let your shaking show, equal parts of you mortified and invigorated by your audacity to gatekeep a section commander’s desk. Judging by the steepening frown on Erwin’s lip, he had little patience for it. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Things have been busy.”

“None more than usual.” You matched his frown. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I heard you the first time, Team Leader.”

You didn’t imagine Erwin would openly converse with you so easily, but you also didn’t expect his outright icy refusal. You had never made Erwin angry before; in fact, you didn’t think you could recall a time that you weren’t in his good graces. Now, as you stood in direct defiance of his passive-aggressive avoidance of you, you felt shaken to the core and tried not to let it show.

“You still want to talk about work? Fine.” You sat back down in the chair behind Erwin’s desk, the joints at the base shifting. It felt unnatural here with him across the room where you usually stood. “It’s in poor taste to come onto your subordinates, Section Commander.”

“And yet, that’s not the part you have an issue with.”

He studied you for a moment, and with reluctance, he tugged off his own uniform jacket, throwing it on the leather couch to his side. Erwin squared back his shoulders, unconsciously adjusting how his clothes sat under his uniform straps as his arms coiled over his broad chest. Yes, he had grown significantly over the years and had the sculpted muscles to show for his decade of ODM training.

“It was unprofessional.”

“Cut the crap; you made it clear that isn’t what we’re talking about right now, so stop pulling your punches.” He spoke as levelly as ever, the most calculated bite in his voice so as to not give away his seething frustration.

“You seemed happy to see Marie again.” Your voice began softly, slowly gaining momentum as you continued. Your voice was starting to shake, forecasting your incoming tears. “Then you had the audacity to drink yourself stupid and crawl to my doorstep, and only when you knew you couldn’t have her did you even look at me.”

Erwin said nothing as he stared forward with a hard, sunken face. He didn’t sit, perhaps in the same way you couldn’t will yourself to stand.

“Is that it?” he spat disapprovingly, almost bored. Your resolve wavered with just three words, him perceiving you as childish, as he seemed to typically do.

“Is that it?” You repeated, aghast. “Did you just ask me, is that it?”

“You’re impeding me from my work because you’re jealous.”

“Of course I’m jealous!” You jerked forward in the chair, hardly realizing the tending of your legs and the curt gesturing of your hands. “And how dare you try to diminish that. When you’ve known this whole time how I’ve felt about you.” You didn’t even try to hide your open sobbing. “Because you knew, and you never felt the same.”

“Hung up on things that don’t matter.”

Your parted lips revealed clenched teeth as you continued to shamelessly meet his eye.

“I would have followed you to hell and back, and I have—”

“And so has every other soldier under my command—”

“I’m not just a soldier under your command, Erwin!” A clap of silence overtook his office. Erwin’s back faced towards you as he aggressively rubbed at the back of his neck. You were standing out of your seat now, hands on the surface of his desk. “We’re friends—” You wiped the stream of wetness from your cheeks.

Erwin heaved a deep, low breath, the sound heavy enough to fill the air.

“Things are different now.” He was struggling, but he kept it together better than you were.

“You had a place at my dining table for years. You knew how to work the register at the shop.”

“Things are different than back then.”

“Are they?” you asked bitterly. You held your hands together as if in prayer, resting your forehead against them. “When did they change? Because I—”

You were cut off by the exasperated sound of your name. And by the time Erwin turned around, his face was red, frustrated, and puffy. A few strands of golden hair hung over his forehead as he looped a thumb in his belt.

“Things are different in the service. It’s why I couldn’t be with her, and it’s not different with you! We are here to serve and die— there is no other way out— and I need you to understand that!” He was shouting, screaming. Erwin leaned slightly toward you, one leg in front of him. “You don’t understand how instantaneously you could be taken from me! No, you didn’t understand when you joined the Cadet Corps, and you don’t understand now!”

You were both a mess, physically worn, and voices hoarse from yelling. You had drenched Erwin’s desk. You stared down at the puddle of tears, the hem of your jacket in your watery sight.

“I joined the Survey Corps for you. To be with you.”

Erwin strode to the door with what looked to be a shake of his head. In an instant, you were around his desk, running after him as you usually did, but you weren’t quick enough.

“We all have our own reasons for being here. You’ll find a better one.”

He shut the door in your face.

***

It felt dull for an expedition day.

Exhaustion tugged on your eyes. Having had poor sleep the night before, you woke up two hours earlier than you needed. The gathering of horses outside the gates, waiting for them to be heaved open, made you antsy. The looming dread felt akin to the moments before an exam when you were back in the Cadet Corps.

But you didn’t have time to reminisce, as in an instant, you were off through the gates, then across the plains. The pop of smoke guns was the only thing anchoring you to reality, as even the harsh rhythm of your horse couldn’t quite pull you out of your haze.

The formation held as you crossed the land, making it into the forest and just past the point you had roughly achieved the last expedition. That in itself would garner the expedition as a success. Even despite potential casualties, it would hold weight in justifying further funding.

But the luck you had in conquering your titan encounters soon ended as the entire formation was flanked, and everything was plunged into chaos. As the formation broke, the field was filled with screams and the whinnying of horses.

Commander Shadis always kept Erwin close, an in turn, only Erwin’s teams remained close to the center of the unit. No one died in Erwin’s squads. You rode along, torso close to the back of your horse to avoid being hit by flying debris.

The retreat had begun.

“Team Leader, look out!”

You didn’t hear it in time. A tremendous hand flew out of nowhere, smacking your horse from under you and crushing your right leg. Your vision became a jumbled mess of earth, animal, and blood as you were sent rolling across the field, jumped over by other retreating soldiers. You shot up immediately but were forced back to the ground before you could even stand. Your leg was bent at an unnatural angle, the worst of it hidden under the cloth of your uniform pants.

A titan loomed overhead, it’s shadow eclipsing you as you sat helplessly on the ground. You turned in the direction of the retreating soldiers. Time seemed to slow as you met Erwin’s eyes.

He had only turned to look over his shoulder for a moment. You saw as his lips parted in terror. You watched as he began to veer his horse to turn back, the strands of her mane moving with the motion of her pivoting head. She whinnied loudly over the sound of gore and battle as she fought against him to run as fast as she could away from the man-eating titans, with or without her rider aboard. All within a matter of milliseconds.

He could see it all in your wide eyes.

The very last things he said to you swarmed him all at once.

Then, a spray of blood. A slide to the straps holding your sheaths.

The hand that reached out to you fell to the ground. The titan fell forward, and before you were crushed, an arm wrapped uncomfortably around your ribs and pulled you to safety. You were dizzy. The rhythmic thumping of another horse continued to rattle your brain as you were splayed uncomfortably across the back just above the front legs. You tried to pull yourself up to look around, but a hand forced your head down.

“Levi?”

“Shut up and keep your head down.”

Yeah, it was Levi.

***

You were taken to the infirmary as soon as you returned from the expedition. You spent the night there, and when Levi wasn’t out doing his duties as a soldier or getting you food, he was with you. He was sitting next to you reading a book when Commander Shadis knocked on the door to your room.

You tried to salute him.

“You’re injured, soldier. Don’t strain yourself.”

He stood in the center of the small room, subtly looking for a place to sit. You made wordless eye contact with Levi, and with a small grunt of effort, he stood and took his leave. Commander Shadis took his seat.

“Am I in trouble, Commander?” you asked nervously, shifting up on your pillows.

“No, no, nothing of that sort,” he assured you, reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out a few folded pages. You thought you recognized the writing on them. He stopped quirking an eyebrow at you. “Unless there is, of course, trouble that you’ve gotten yourself into that you’d like to report, Team Leader.”

“Not at all.” You let out a breathy laugh. “You just look like you’re here on business. I guess I was just a bit—”

“Nervous?” Shadis interjected, his shoulders bobbing as he chuckled to himself. “My commander just about scared the living crap out of me when I was a soldier. But I’m not here to reminisce.” Shadis unfolded the papers, and as he laid them at the edge of your bed, you realized that the writing was yours.

“I am here to offer you the position of section commander.” You could only describe the expression he wore as proud. “I’m just sorry the proposal isn’t more formal, but what can you do in this line of work?” You gaped at him, still trying to piece together what he said in your mind and how he obtained your notes.

“Maybe this is shooting myself in the foot, Commander, but—” You knitted your brow at him. —“I didn’t think my performance has been all that impressive. Team Leader Zacharius—”

“Has already been offered the other position,” Shadis interrupted. The corner of his lip twitched downward in a skeptical pout. You supposed you both felt as if you were missing a piece of information. “Section Commander Smith put in a glowing recommendation for you in addition to these. He and I believe you could live up to your potential best out from under his command.”

“Section Commander Smith wants to get rid of me,” you jested, a convincing smile on your face as you pondered over what was said in Erwin’s meeting with Shadis.

“On the contrary, I’d say he’s reluctant to see you leave. Or at least that was the impression I received.” Shadis rested an ankle over his knee as he sat back in the flimsy hospital chair. “Section Commander Smith was adamant about your abilities, both on the field and in this secret hobby you’ve been keeping.” He gestured to the pages he brought, taking them in his hands. “If I had to scold you for one thing, it is that you’ve done us all a disservice for not bringing these forward.”

“I sincerely apologize, Commander.”

“But myself and Section Commander Smith have done a greater disservice by not seeing this brilliance, not fostering it, sooner.” Shadis gathered the pages together and placed them on your bedside table, eyeing the rest of the pages Levi had brought for you to keep busy. He turned back to you, hands clasped between his knees as he leaned forward. “What do you say, Team Leader?”

Your voice stalled in your throat.

“I don’t even know if any of those will make a difference on the field.”

“Have you not been helping Levi Ackerman on his reverse-hold technique? He took out ten titans alone during this past expedition.”

“I feel that should be attributed to Levi’s— I mean, Ackerman’s— prowess rather than anything I did.” Shadis sat, staring at you as a growing disappointment clouded his face. You averted your eyes. “And Section Commander Smith saw his talent and recruited him in the first place.” Shadis said nothing, only heaving out a steady sigh. You sat in silence for a beat. “I’m sorry if you’ve been deceived into thinking my abilities are greater than they are. I don’t want to deceive you further.”

Shadis sighed again, standing.

“The only one who’s been deceived is you,” he hummed. “I would very much like the opportunity to invest in your skills, but I am not about to take a chance on someone who doesn’t even believe in themselves, you understand me?” You watched the crest on his back as he approached the door. “I will leave you to think about it.”

***

When you were finally released, Levi helped you to your apartment. He didn’t allow you to do a thing.

“Hey! What did I say about getting up on your own?” He scolded from the kitchen. Something that smelled good bubbled on the stove behind him, filling the immediate area with steam. You smelled the air, ready to take guesses at what he was cooking. Levi stopped in the middle of chopping something on a cutting board with rigor to shoot you a pointed glare.

“I have to get used to the crutches eventually. Don’t you think it’s been long enough?” You hobbled out of your bedroom, content just to be out of bed. Levi frowned, eyeing you for any hint of a tumble. A cotton apron hung around his neck, another item he had fished out from the depths of your kitchen cabinets. He put the knife down on the cutting board but remained where he stood.

“Tch, says you and your shitty perception of time.”

Just as you were about to sit at the dining room table to watch Levi work some more, a knock came at your front door. Something rang out in your chest as soon as you heard it. Evidenced by nothing, you already knew who it was. Levi turned to rinse off his hands in the sink.

“I got it.”

“No, wait,” you interjected swiftly, and, to your surprise, Levi stopped. He offered you a questioning look, but you were already hobbling forward. You smiled at him reassuringly. “I’ll be alright. Gotta get used to the crutches, remember?” He let you move forward, returning to the kitchen as you shouted to the visitor on your doorstep.

And as you expected, Erwin Smith stood at your door. You stood in the doorway, leaving the entrance just ajar enough to accommodate your form.

“Uh, hi,” he said breathlessly, and just like that, you were twelve and working at your family’s bookshop again. You didn’t think you’d ever see a day where Erwin would be nervous to talk to you, yet all you had to do was look at your doormat.

“Are you done giving me the cold shoulder?” You quirked a brow, and Erwin let out another deep sigh in response. A surrender.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m the last person you probably want to see.” He glanced over your shoulder, spotting Levi cooking in the background. You couldn’t see the glower that Levi shot Erwin from behind his bangs. Erwin turned his attention back toward you. “And I won’t keep you. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m alright,” you assured him with a nod. “It wasn’t as bad as they thought it was. I might miss the next scheduled expedition, but Commander Shadis said we could find ways to work around it.” Erwin perked up, his thick eyebrows shooting up on his forehead.

“You already spoke to Commander Shadis?”

“He offered me the rank of section commander.” Erwin’s eyes lit up with his warm smile as he shifted his weight.

“Very good, you deserve it. I know you’ll make an excellent section commander. No one deserves it more than you.” You leaned against the doorway, amused at his feigning ignorance. You couldn’t help your smug expression as you gave in to your temptation to burst his bubble.

“He told me you put in a golden recommendation.”

“He did, did he?” Erwin shook his head, blond lashes fluttering shut as he deflated just slightly. Outmanuvering him wasn’t something that happened often, but it sure as hell was a wonderful feeling. “And so I did.” But even in his defeat, he continued to hold sentiment in his reflective, blue eyes.

“I’m telling him that I accept tomorrow.”

“Well, in that case, let me be the first to congratulate you, Section Commander.”” Erwin pulled a bouquet of red flowers out from behind his back, holding them up to offer to you. You hadn’t even noticed he was even holding them. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I look forward to working with you as your peer and earning your trust in me.”

You looked to him, then to the bouquet. With a plucking of your fingers, you withdrew a single flower from the middle. You made the motion awkwardly, balancing your second crutch under your elbow as you shifted your weight uncomfortably.

“I look forward to that…” You waggled your eyebrows. “Section Commander.” Erwin’s mouth formed a thin-lipped smile. He gave you a nod.

“Section Commander.”

You shut the door without a single insect entering your apartment.

Just in time for dinner.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Writer's Notes: I thought it was fun to write Erwin of all people as that one kid who teaches you things you "shouldn't know" because he's just doing it all by accident.

This fic drew heavy inspiration from "The Imitation Game," in a way. I had always wanted to write a fic that mirrored the scene when Alan wanted to give his love letter to Christopher or something where Erwin was an upperclassman-like figure. It's probably not detectable in the actual fic, but I did go back and watch some of Alan Turing's early life scenes. Weird, considering I only watched the movie once when it first came out.

Please, I encourage you to write complex notes in the replies, reblogs, or inbox. Please. I beg of you.

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