#blah blah blah im never worth staying for
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Regulus Black thinks he's alone in the world, doomed to be lonely for the rest of his life.
He's right to an extent.
#marauders era#marauders fandom#harry potter marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s#hp marauders#regulus black#regulusblack#regulus a black#regulus arcturus black#regulus deserved better#the marauders era#marauder era#marauders headcanon#pushing my problems on fictional characters again >#blah blah blah i have no feiends and no family that cares#blah blah blah im alone and i think i always will be#blah blah blah no matter what anyone says ill always think it#blah blah blah#blah blah blah im never worth staying for#or being kind to#yea anyways he thinks he doesnt deserve kindness or love#or friendship and also hes a loser emo twink
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there's something incredibly healing about this
#ok bear with me bc i am NOT great w words b u t#there's just something so special about ray- ray who stayed alive for *six* years for norman and emma- ray who never thought he deserved to#be alive. ray who would undoubtedly struggle with his self worth because his entire life he existed to help or be of use to someone else#THAT ray letting himself dream about traveling the world and seeing art and actually Live#he spent his entire life focusing on others- and finally let him focus on himself#and norman. norman who always treasured his family but not in the way that ray had until the last two months#i just#im losing my train of thought god#but ok right so#in the anime they had the kids discussing what they wanted to do on the outside- that scene didnt happen in the manga so it's the only one#i have to base this off of#but anyways#in the anime right? ray was just like. ill have to survive blah blah and norman talked about wanting to travel#so if we're basing it on that- it's nice to see that ray let himself focus on his own happiness. and norman moreso treassured his time with#family because he understands that his time with them is limited#uhhhh ok i guess that makes sense ill probably try and rb this and explain it better not in the tags#tpn#ash is mentally ill#ray#norman
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WANNA START WONYOUNGISM?
STOP SEEKING APPROVAL You guys will be like "I wanna be confident" "How do I become confident" You'll watch countless videos and then repeat the same bad habits. You realize in order to be confident you have to actually be confident in more than just your appearance? Like your thoughts and ideas count too. STOP. SEEKING. APPROVAL. FROM. OTHERS. VALIDATE YOURSELF. "I wonder if they'll like this" STOP. "do you think this looks good on me?" STOP. ALSO not to mention oversharing about your personal life and EXPECTING VALIDATION once again STOP. Also!! Stop wanting, craving, looking for validation from MEN. HECK NO GET THAT OUTTA HERE. "I feel like I never get compliments from guys". Seriously. Compliment yourself. I don't care if it sound dumb. DO IT. its going to help you strip your mind from this messed up mentality of "do they like this" "do I look good enough" "WILL THEY LIKE ME?" NO.
2. IDGAF MINDSET STOP CARING. If your friend comes up to u and says "hey so recently blah blah has been talking about you." INSTEAD OF BEING LIKE "OMG! NOOO what she Say???" just say "ok". dont ask ab what she said. it dosent matter. Your life revolves around you and you only. Also when I say Idgaf mentality dont take this to the extreme and like self sabotage yourself. For instance being like "I have 3 days worth of homework but im gonna go to the movie theater because IDGAF"…. yeah, don't do that. Anyways know this, didn't really talk about how to specifically create a idgaf mindset I can make another post on it for you guys.
3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Take care of yourself ml 💝
create your ideal morning routine (i can make a post on how ) (not necessary) But If you can by some new soaps or skincare to make you feel more motivated to use them (and it can make you bathroom cute ) Shower daily or every other day. make sure your nails and ears are always clean Eat healthy and drink water. Start a new hobby
Basically become as respectfully self centered as possible. Always focus on your goals and happiness. Make sure you’re always put together and clean. Trust me the results are rewarding and you will feel amazing about yourself. Also this takes time and consistency. Adapt these good habits and stick with them. When you feel good physically your confidence instantly increase!
4. LEARN TO SAY NO
Let me say this one time you guys, if you dont wanna do something.. then DON’T. If you don’t want to go somewhere with your ‘friends’ then stay home. If someone is trying to make you do something you don’t want to do, say no. if you can’t give yourself that then how will you ever be confident?
Saying no to people can be very beneficial as it will prove to others that you aren’t a people pleaser. (reminder! it’s not about others) more people will start to respect you and will not take advantage of you.
If the person gets upset because you said no, they weren’t worth it anyway.
#becoming that girl#advice#girl blogging#it girl#it girl energy#mindset#that girl#wonyoungism#glow up#law of attraction#divine feminine#wonyoung
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Just watched top gun maverick…… and whooo Chile. Any fics for any of them and a poc or black reader?
You know it! @leahnicole1219
TOP GUN FANFICITON (!black reader or !poc reader)
BRADLEY "ROOSTER" BRADSHAW
"you know what i need in my life is to run and jump iinto bradley bradshaws arms to kiss him like he's gets back imma sprint"- @inkdrinkerworld
"he met me in my im going to stay single phase & now i'm obsessed with him (!au)- @deanscroissant
hit the hard deck series- @purplelily247
crush (bradley x black!oc), good wife (x!blackoc)- @dulcewrites/@dulcelibra
"he puts on such a hard front but he's a total pleaser in the bedroom. he'll go all out if you're having a hard day and not ask for anything in return, no matter how much you insist it'll make you feel even better, the rooster and i series- @princessphilly
LT JAKE "HANGMAN" SERESIN
call me jake series, watermelon sugar, hangman is secretly possessive and loves leaving marks everywhere he can especially if he sees someone else flirting with his girl, Can I request a soft moment between Hangman and the girl he is seeing?, thinking about calling him daddy for the first time. Like, it just slips when you’re begging him to touch or fuck you and the man goes feral., ohhhhh Hangman finally getting with the girl of his dreams but she’s not convinced he actually likes her because she’s heavier and he’s carved like a greek statue, so he spends the night proving to her just how much he’s attracted to her, i know you wanted smutty but I’ve been feeling really blah lately so if you could hit me with some humor fluff maybe slight smut? With rbf reader who is blunt saying 10) “Look, I’m not into choking but I wouldn’t mind if you grabbed me by the neck every once in a while.” To hangman while playing pool just completely shocking him, going off the thought that Hangman has a classic sailor pinup on his thigh... Could we please have some Hangman tattoo worship please?- @princessphilly
mrs. seresin- @afictionalwhor3
jake's love language, cowboy's date with a georgian (xblack!oc), wet dreams, texas roadhouse, jade, alien storytime (another world series) - @entertainmentgirl80
"hello hello my love <3 I thought maybe I could request something where reader has never really been comforted when crying throughout her life but one time Jake walks in on her crying and just comforts her. She doesn’t expect that and it’s all just a bunch of fluff! I love your writing so much thank you for putting your work out for people to enjoy <3- @inkdrinkerworld
you're pretty, so happening, you're alive, trip to the bahamas no fuck that series- @itsthestutterforme
LT RUBEN "PAYBACK" FITCH
"we neverrrr talk about Payback. Tell me about what happens when Reuben takes a girl out on their first date. Since I'm feeling all mushy."- @princessphilly
LT JAVY "COYOTE" MACHADO
"just wanna share sime little thots on Javy but damn does that man look like he gives such good head. He's reserved but when its behing closed doors that mouth can do anything you want ((but you'll have to ask niceky first)) 🥴", "thots on Coyote and pussy worship?"- @princessphilly
daylight, pie, cancelled flights and beignets- @siempre-bucky
if it's worth your time series, promise this ain't a test, i did what i had to do, for better days, how sweet it is...- @coyotesamachado
flight scare- @words-4u
pie- @siempre-bucky
LT BILLY "FRITZ" AVALONE
***
LT MICKEY "FANBOY" GARCIA
what happens when mickey grows his hair out... - @siempre-bucky
take me by the heart, take me by the hand- @rae-gar-targaryen
warped series (with jake seresin)- @anjaelle
ROBERT "BOB" FLOYD
sundress season, bob is a freak in the bedroom, good girls do, bob and his good girl's wedding night, "anything you got for rooster i'll take it...literally anything but like him on the beach playing touch football" - @princessphilly
white christmas (spy/the americans au)- @dulcewrites
morning showers, koko's and bobby's sexy time, koko's insecurities, expecting again koko's & bobby's special day, koko's special valentine's, - @entertainmentgirl80
the new girl, i think you're cute- @ladyelissarose
might be an understatement- @friendlyneighborhoodchaosdemon
***LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY !BLACK READER OR !POC READER FIC WITH THESE CHARACTERS HIT MY LINE!!!***
#the bp plug#bp librarian at your service#let's chat#sip tea#talk fanfiction#talk top gun: maverick fanfiction#talk top gun fanfiction#top gun: maverick fanfiction#leahnicole1219
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Another AU I was rambling about in Discord, not edited much cause im tired, cause Silvio will never leave my brain. Inspired by a picture of what I can only assume to be a very fancy, expensive looking nightclub LOL
But I've been thinking about a modern AU with MC working as an escort for one of these fancy, high-end nightclubs. She only takes this job because she needs the money desperately, or maybe she/her family owes someone a large sum of money. It's not the best but it pays well and most nights are fairly easy. Until the owner of the nightclub, Silvio, comes to check in on his business...
Silvio immediately targets her, her being the newbie, and wants to know why he should keep her on when it's clear to him that she doesn't actually want to be there or likes this job. Of course, he hides it behind harsh criticism, saying he's worried she's boring his customers, that she's not enticing enough to keep clients wanting to come back for more (AKA spending more money at his establishments).
Blah blah something about proving her worth, as well as her coming around to understanding that Silvio actually really cares about his workers... especially her. If someone ever lays a hand on his employees, he's got the connections to make them regret it for life. But he keeps up the gruff attitude as a front. And everyone but MC seems to think that either MC has caught his heart, or caught his ire, and they're not sure which.
Maybe somehow Silvio finds out about her debt through one of his connections or customers. He hunts down the person harassing her with all the connections he can possibly use, maybe even uses his ridiculous wealth to pay off the debt so she doesn't have to continue working as an escort. And from there, he can either fire her as a cover to letting her free from this lifestyle, or he can be honest and see if she'll willingly stay within his sights...
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REQUESTS OPEK??!?!?!;&@, I JUST WOKE UO IM NOT REAUD UM UN UHH UM
may i request Gintoki with a gn reader who just LOVES to spoil him and make him food but at some point just. stops and doesnt say why and while gintoki doesnt want to sound like "hey wheres my food☹️" he is lowkey wondering if they are mad at him and does a bunch of stuff to try make it up to them. rither like cooking himself or spending more time with them yknow?
but in reality its just that money got tight for a bit and they were embarrassed to say they were spending so much on gin lmao
sorry if thats like all over the place! love you lots professor💚
The way you always come as soon as I open requests, It's like you're in my walls 🥺🚓
Sakata Gintoki Headcanons:
Majority of his life, Gintoki been used to going without comforts, some way or the other. Warm clothes. Fresh underwear. Food. Good food, especially. And it ain't been all so bad since he started the Yorozuya. You can always catch a meal from behind Snack Otose's bar before the old lady catches you by the ear and tosses you out like a dirty mongrel. You can always dip your head in the fountain at the local park to gulp down some cold water. You can always get your 14-year old coworker to stand in a corner and beg for some spare change for your strawberry parfait at your favorite cheap family-style joint.
Point is, you put a street urchin anywhere, and he finds a way to survive.
Theoretically.
So what actually does him in is meals, hot meals, three times a day, seven days a week. The dining table these days is actually creaking, heavily set with the weight of those little side dishes. Side dishes. Gintoki now is getting choices with his meals. And after a delicious meal, then comes dessert. Not just any dessert— strawberry parfait. A tall glass dish filled brim with his favorite sweet, pushed under his nose with a sweeter kiss to his temple before you're happily clearing the rest of the dishes to the sink.
Gintoki has gained ten pounds since loving you.
Until he's suddenly back to square one, ten pounds lighter, back to three-way chopstick fights over every rotten grain of rice, back to scavenging in Sadaharu's dog feed bag, back to harassing Otose's rice cooker, back to swishing fountain water through his teeth to line his never-quite-satisfied stomach.
It's not his first rodeo, but this time, hitting the ground is harder than he remembers.
It's not about the food. In the past few days, you haven't even been looking at him in the eyes, while ladling a fourth of the food that you usually serve into his chipped bowl. Have barely peeped a few words, except murmured thank you for the meal's before quietly eating your portion, smaller than everyone else's. You've kissed him less, hugged him less. The Yorozuya doesn't carry your scent anymore, you're hardly there.
You're ignoring him, he's concluded. Gintoki knows, knows he's pissed you off because Sakata Gintoki always pisses everyone off at some point. You're sick of a lazy, no-good guy like him, he knows it. He knows it.
Fuck, he hasn't missed any anniversaries. On your third month together, he pissed your name in the snow in front of the Yorozuya! If that isn't the most ardent declaration of love, he doesn't know what is! On your birthday, he gave you a DIY, a lovely sculpture! And told you to use it when he's gone! And his performance in bed— no, that definitely can't be it. He puts his back into it! His dicking is flawless. S-tier!
Shinpachi suggests gifting you the newest Otsuu-chan CD. An advice expected of a cherry boy, damn him.
Kagura is more helpful— she's seen it all before. Papi always swallowed his pride and kneeled in the dirt and begged.
And so, Gintoki kneels in the dirt and begs.
And he says something not worth repeating. Blah blah blah blah I miss you blah blah blah blah don't leave blah blah blah blah You don't have to do anything blah blah blah blah just stay blah blah blah blah I love you or whatever blah blah blah blah.
And you're wrapping your arms around his prostrated head, maybe in tears, saying something like money was running short, you were out looking for a job that's why you weren't at the Yorozuya more often, and something like you were embarrassed to face him— which is the most ridiculous bullshit he's ever heard because look at him while he's wiping your tears away with a rough hand, you idiot— you're dating the sorriest, the poorest bastard in Edo! Getcher ass home so we can eat dinner.
And dinner that night— even with four pairs of chopsticks and one paw fighting over the last shriveled dog kibble— has never tasted better.
Happily ever afterrrr
#gintama#gintama headcanons#gintama fanfiction#gintama imagines#sakata gintoki#answered ask#im so sorry if this sucks pure ahhhh bc im stretching my sore writing skills after a while
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Previous First
"Um, what...?"
"Uh oh"
"Well you see"
"Earlier, I was in my shed like always, when I heard some odd sounds outside! But when I went out, there was nothing at all!
So I left, but I still got the lingering worry. What if some animal got in? I really don't like it when my shed gets disturbed, you know
Last time, a bunny got in! Can you believe it?
I had to get rid of it"
"So, I go back! And guess what I found? My controllers were gone!
Now, I might not be an incredibly influential detective like you, Mr Beebo, but I can guess this wasn't the local wildlife
In fact, by the pair of footprints around the woods, I could even assume your scarf friend here told you some things!
And you two went out there giving me trouble, like always"
"Stealing is wrong, you know"
"... Uh, I think killing is worse, actually"
"If you think we'll give them back, you can start begging"
"Oh, don't worry about it, I just need this one! It's in such a good spot!"
"What, under the bar table or something? Fuck you"
"Ángel calm down"
"Huh?"
Eugene smiles
"Oh, I see"
"I'm afraid you got tricked"
Oliver panics a little
"What? What do you mean?"
"Well, you see
Last time, you guys really surprised me! I mean, you got me killed!
So... I got a little worried
And decided to pull a little trick, just in case
It's always good to be cautious, you know"
"Fucking- get to the point!"
"Haha okay"
"I changed the little stickers for the bomb placement"
"Whoops"
"...Oh"
"Oh fuck"
"What- What is that one then?"
"A really good one"
"The main room
Right under the snacks table
See? A great spot!"
There's silence in the room
"... What?"
"That's... were mom is"
"Yeah! Your mother! This will be her second time dying via bomb
I need more diversity, I know"
"No... She can't... I haven't talked to her..."
"Ah, dont cry, girl. Im really bad with crying children"
Beebo and Ángel start to back up
"Wait a minute there, we haven't finished talking!
I would hate to make you guys forget so quickly after we've bonded so much"
He waves the control around
Literally and figuratively
They stay
"So, any more questions?"
"What's the fucking point of this"
"Ángel, calm down"
"What are you even planning?! Are you just going to keep us here forever?! Like some sort of purgatory?!"
"Please, we can't do anything rash"
"What? Of course not!"
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not a cruel man!
We all make mistakes, and all of you have made some very big mistakes!
But you won't be here forever, I'll let you out eventually
"I'm just going to kill you over and over again until I'm satisfied"
"Only then you'll earn my forgiveness"
"All of you deserve to die for what you've done to me"
"Ah, of course, you guys are not equal. Some sins are bigger than others. Let's see..."
"I think the first one I'll let out is my sister. She's stupid but means well. Im sure she would apologize immediately if given the chance
Of course, apologies mean nothing in the face of utter betrayal, so she needs to die a few times."
"Next would be the reporter girl. She's incredibly annoying, but I guess that's not the worst sin she could've committed.
Still, I love to hear the sound of her voice getting increasingly quieter when she's dying, so she's staying for a bit"
"Next, ugh, my wife. People really hype up being married, you know? You are supposed to be a team, but she never wanted to help me with anything! It was all about her house and her family and her kids and blah blah. She's so selfish, that woman.
But eh, she's pretty useless right now, so it's not like she'll do anything of worth once I free her"
"Now, Owen, that kid is staying for a few weeks at least. Can't believe he would betray me like this, really, I thought he was an exemplary kid!
But no, he wasn't. I'm sure his mother would be glad to get rid of him for some time
He needs to die many, many times, "
"And then, my son. Or what I thought was my son, turns out the fucker ended up being more like his mother! Useless thing. And to think he was going to be in charge of my company once I moved on to other things.
He couldn't even betray me on his own. He needed the help of his little buddies. What a rat.
I will not have a coward as a son.
I need to see him cry more, so he'll stay a while"
"Now, you two troublemakers"
"I'll be honest, I wasn't planning on keeping you for long, Ángel"
"But seeing as you have been a complete pain in the ass in your stay here, you are staying a good while"
"Stubborn bastard"
"Sounds like a waste of time. You can't even kill me"
"Eh, I'm sure with enough tries I will"
"But it's not like I really need to, do I? I just need to get your little friend here, and it hurts you just as much"
Ángel says nothing to that
"And speaking of said little friend, Mr Beebo, I always planned on you staying here until the very end
You've done something really bad, you know?
It got me really mad!
And now, you come here, meddling in everything I do.
Causing trouble everywhere you go
It's like you know exactly how to completely infuriate me
I hate you so much! With all my being!"
Eugene says, smiling
"... The feeling is mutual"
"How sweet. I'm glad! Killing you is always so satisfying"
"And since you two lovebirds insist on staying together, you'll share a sentence"
"How do you say these things and claim you are not a cruel man?"
"Well, it's simple. This might as well never had happened"
"Whenever a loop starts again, everything is okay again! There's no scars, no pain, no memories, no proof.
So, technically, I never killed anybody! I mean, look! You're still standing
Is it really that bad? I am going to let you out eventually
And once you do, it would be like nothing ever happened!
Im just taking a few months of your life
Who knows! Maybe after I forgive you, we could all be friends!"
"That won't happen"
"Oh, dont say that. You won't even remember this conversation. No one will"
He looks at Ángel
"... Well, almost no one. But hey! Nobody's perfect"
Oliver holds Ángel back
"... You didn't mention me. Although I'm not surprised"
"Oh, don't worry! I didn't forget you this time
This is why I wanted to talk
I have an offer to make"
#i am very much trying to make these drawings really nice#but I think I'll have to finish this encounter tomorrow#so this is all today. im going to bed#enjoy the ramblings of a madman#detective beebo
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okay i just rewatched the last two episodes of utena, which i think helped me collect my thoughts like... a tiny bit.
anyways i just wanted to get my feelings down really quick, aiming for the broad strokes with my impressions on things, blah blah blah. so big warning for utena spoilers under the cut
okay god so. first of all i loved it. extremely fun show. really cool and interesting. it's got that Older Anime Swag i can't get enough of. easily one of those things where, if i'd watched it when i was younger, it would've seriously restructured my entire brain chemistry. also probably would've realized i liked girls way sooner
there is. A LOT. worth talking about. i don't want to make a massively long post though. trying to be like, as straightforward as possible. not just because otherwise i'd talk forever, but also i honestly don't wanna get into the guts of things TOO much, when im still processing my personal feelings on it, plus i still gotta watch the movie
so i'll just say for now, to me, utena reads as like... something similar to a coming of age story, but not exactly. like a weird divergent cousin. i feel like a lot has to do with themes of like, trauma and how that stunts growth, one's inability to grow up beyond things that happened in our pasts, like death or failure, or even just the fact that you were at some point changed... or actualized, like, made to become aware of reality.
even moreso than growing up or adulthood, the idea of the Revolutionizing the World, which i think v deliberately at first sounds like 'change the world (in a broad, conceptual sense)' but this is something that is like... unattainable. impossible. eternity and miracles. perpetual purity, comfort, safety, a fantasy. even with the prince's sword, akio cannot open the gate. he cannot attain the power of eternity or miracles to become what he once was
if it cannot break its egg shell, a chick will die without being born. we are the chick and the world is our egg. if we cannot break the egg, we will die without being born. smash the world's shell for the revolution of the world.
a lot of my intense interest and confusion over the last third of the show was... character motivations. what did akio want? what was his goal in trying to bring utena to him, but to undermine her desire to become a prince? he wanted the sword of a prince but not for utena to wield it. he said something in the end about... how the power of revolution was too much for her, how it was up to him to decide what to do with it.
and a lot said about how she cant accomplish her goals 'because she's a girl'. she can't hold the sword, can't become the prince, can't save anthy, because she's a girl. and im not saying that's NOT a gender thing, like... obviously, in part. but i fought against that reading a little and came to the conclusion that it's not about being like, a girl as in female. it's about being a girl as in child, or rather, the same girl who wanted to stay inside that coffin, and who arguably never left.
that's a big theme brought up again and again, especially later on... living death, to remain in your coffin: the shell that is your world, and your resting place if you are never able to leave it. cowed by the truth of reality, of death and tragedy and loss and pain. so you stay inside the shell and are never really born. everyone at the school is inside of a coffin, both of their own making and in the grander scheme, because for them, the school is their world
and that's why it's so important that anthy leaves. akio is fighting to open the rose gate, to attain the power of revolution, but i don't think he was able to get it because revolution isn't really what he wants. he wants to go back, to live in the past, to be what he was instead of what he's chosen to be, which he can't fully confront, and so he is stuck and stays in his coffin, the planetarium, the school. living through this fantasy story over and over again but unable to ever break free because of the simple fact that like. he cannot see beyond himself, i guess. as opposed to anthy, who recognized that utena did achieve the power for revolution... by helping anthy out of her coffin. allowing anthy to finally be born...
that's a thing too... i think one of the main things that's really subtly brought up throughout the anime, is this idea of selfishness and being unable to see beyond your own perspective and vision and expectations of the world. and that means an inability to see others clearly. that was a huge thing for anthy and utena near the end. that scene where utena is holding anthy on the roof... and they confess to each other their true feelings (?); i don't know if that was dream or reality, but i believe it was the truth. anthy taking advantage of utena's inability to see beyond herself in order to lead her to this point, and utena's inability to recognize anthy's pain (or even, rather, her ability TO forget anthy's pain) for what it was, and that she really needed from her friend.
there's a weird element i haven't wrapped my head around yet... to do with anthy and her being a witch, the swords she takes for her brother/prince, and his willingness to say that it's what she chose for herself, so she (must?) enjoy being the witch who suffers. maybe it's part of his inability to grow... that he can't take responsibility for anthy's pain (and death?) entirely, though her sacrifice was for him... and it could be part of what had akio lose sight of things
the gate doesn't open for akio, who does not truly crave revolution, only a power he no longer has, and in his way he's gotten so muddled and has grown so (unconsciously?) defeatist about things that he's lost sight of what might have been driving him in the first place - love and a desire to save his sister
but utena, who sees anthy as a child and instantly feels all of her pain, recognizes it, maybe even as her own pain reflected back, weeps for a witch and the door opens for her. and the door is not a gate to power, it's a coffin, with anthy lying inside... waiting to die, or waiting for nothing at all... but-
oh ohhh oh... it's like... akio says something about like, without power you always have to depend on someone else? you can't do anything on your own? maybe a resentment for his tie to anthy even. but like. anthy could never break out of her shell without utena opening the coffin for her, and bringing in the light to help her see the sort of world that waited beyond. she says something like 'don't be afraid of this world where we can meet'...
in an attempt to wrap up, i guess for now i might say... utena is trying to say something about connecting to others, being open to life, but accepting that it includes pain and tragedy and loss. there are things that can and will prevent you from ever truly like... evolving beyond your first stage. becoming your true, entire self. alive, "adult", willing and able to confront the world (beyond your world)...
mm... yeah. i think writing this out has helped me figure out things just a bit. and obviously this is my own interpretation of things, but for now it's what feels right for me, alongside all the meanderings and musings.
gwahhg... movie time i guess. aaa!!!!!
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I’ll be turning 17 this year, turning into a more mature and responsible person as i think i can be.. to be more realistic and transparent in front of the world, but still not being more of an open person cause there are few things you are suppose to keep within yourself or your circle and it stays till there. Last year i leant a lot of things from life; how actually the world like my parents always mentioned to me about, is, how things work around you, how to carefully take each step in your life while being totally aware of the consequences in the future cause one big or even a small step can bring a huge change in your life. Next year i’m looking forward to a lot of things because as i grow up i have started to understand the working of this earth, it’s every revolution and rotation and different aspects. I’ll be mainly focusing on myself and my family foremost, also some of close friends.
Firstly, what i learnt last year was how actually people are, they can turn into snakes into just a matter of seconds which, not gonna lie, is creepy, scary, terrifying, horrible and above all, risky. Yeah, but there are still some people who are worth something, even though you nearly met them a couple of months ago, they totally get your vibe and that’s totally fascinating!! But honestly, this types are very very few species, you can’t get them everywhere, what i mainly noticed last year was all about negativity i came across among all the people i’ve met in my entire lifetime, and i’ve been noting all the points optimistically, there’s no discrimination on that. The main thing i understood what my parents used to warn me about, “be careful while making friends,” but at time i was an early teenager and i didn’t get things maturely, i was like, “they’ll be just telling and blah blah, it’s something that shouldn’t be bothering me much,” but now it does. I am thankful that my parents are strict against me and now that i’ve been taking every step carefully knowing the circumstances of the future. Kids of my age be doing drugs, parties, toxic relationships and all you say ‘cool’ stuff, i thank my parents cause they kinda actually protected me from all this. Things influence me quickly and as parents they definitely know about it since i’m their kid, ha!! They’ve turned into a person i never thought i would become. I’ve been anti-social which technically means i tend to remain away from all this stuff, and they are absolutely not the reason why i’m anti social; i made myself one ‘cause at one point in my life i understood that all this is not worth anything, it’s just timepass and does not have any such positive outcome; all you gonna end up doing something that’s inversely gonna affect you, your mental or physical health, priory studies and your career most importantly. So yeah, i’m heartily grateful to my parents to mould me into a perfect person i thought i would never be. Since i also started to pre-maturely understand things, i even discuss it with my parents whether if it is any topic or anything, i talk to them pretty openly and it’s feels comfortable discussing things with him; after all they’ve experienced life more than enough than me, i learn things from them and moreover discussing various topics helps me gain certain amount of knowledge required for me to act smart. They help me to get aware of things around, how to act smart and not get left out, etc., basically life lesson after all im going to be adult soon. They’re teaching me various things, as in social networking and i can’t mention how much they help me.
yeah, so i guess that’s it for today. i hope i am going in the right direction my life being all positive and carrying all the good learning’s… i’ll maybe share more thoughts on genres like this since it makes me think positive and more reactive, i guess (??) lmao.
— skiesinblue
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2, 4, and 6?
Tysm for the ask!!! <3
Link to the game!
2. Gush about your f/o's nose!
Look at the details on it... So human-like, despite every experiment that has made him a 'moster' in his eyes. He even has black spots, and a thin layer of facial hair! It makes him so perfect, even if he thinks those 'human' like features are imperfect on him.
Straight and sturdy, like him. It's like the most talented sculptor made this nose. Who am I kidding, THE WHOLE him.
I like kiss the tip of his nose a lot, make him scrunch it as a reaction. And I like eskimo kisses too! Although it is usually me who does it, Sephiroth stays still and slightly smiles. When I'm also dozed off, I sometimes like to run my finger along his nosebridge, from above then slowly gliding down.
4. Gush about your f/o's hair!
Look at this! My boyfriends hair is so fabulous, he even got into L'Oreal featuring ad 😤 /j
Such a gorgeous mane of a hair... Like streaks of purest moonlight rays... It smells divine. It never tangles, but his hair does get stuck somewhere sometimes, and leaves a streak of hair somewhere. Tsizilia doesn't find it annoying when she finds one accidentaly in her mouth or in her clothes. She thinks its lovely knowing there's always a part of him with her (even if its a fucking piece of hair.😭)
I am the only one who knows his secret of keeping his hair this shiny and silky. (AND OBVIOUSLY IM NOT GONNA SHARE IT.😤😤😤) I actually help him, theres a whole ass routine that lasts minimally about an HOUR. Just for his hair. And later facial, body care, blah blah. (as much as it is tiring for me, Sephiroth gives me no chance, he's dragging me into the whole routine. But, then again, I HAVE to admit, at the end of everything, it is worth it. You feel clean and your ego is fucking boosted over the ceiling, his routine is magical and works wonders on yourself ISTG.)
I LOVE TO BRAID IT, AND COMB IT. AND KISS IT. AND SMELL IT. I treat it like it's an entirely separate being from him💀😂 Sephiroth then DARES to ask me: "Did you fall in love with me for ME, or just because of my hair?" Of course we know the truth.
... Bc of his ha- /j
6. Gush about your f/o's hands!
Already answered here!
#🖤under my black wing...🪽#tireddovahkiins f/os#self ship#tireddovahkiin answers#ask box#answered#ty for the ask moot! ><#self ship ask#self ship ask game#self ship ask meme#f/o ask game#selfship ask game#ask game#f/o#romantic f/o#gush post#f/o gush#self ship gush#yumeship gush
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watching ‘the sea inside’ for philosophy class and im SO fed up of this “no but life is worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!” for you maybe, not for some so shut the fuck up and stop trying to impose YOUR view on life onto others????????????
#suicide tw#dawning#the movie is about this dude who's paraplegic and wants assisted suicide so he's working with a layer to bring his case to the jury#and this random lady appears in his house trying to lecture him on why life is good and worth it????? im so pissed idhfjafadf#maybe its bc ive been pretty suicidal for the last 10 years but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i hate hate hate when people try to feed me this bullshit talk of how life is wonderful and they cant understand why i want to die BLAHBLAH#it's literally not up to you to understand shit?#it's MY life?????#it's so fucking selfish when people try to keep you here because THEY want you here? but you don't#but they'll ignore that and rather you stay here with a great deal of emotional pain just because they want to?????????????????????????????#makes absolutely no sense to me at all.#if someone wants to die you should fucking let them#they have their reasons and if they dont wanna be here anymore that's their rightful choice#ik many people are able to leave this dark place of being suicidal but#never not once since i was 9 ive seen anything that made me think oh maybe life isnt so bad#some say that seeing people who survived suicide attempts on tv make them get over that blah blah blah etc#like good for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! couldnt be me tho#like stop treating suicidal people like they are stupid? we don't want to die for funsies?#we have a lot of reasons why we want to end our lives and y'all gotta respect that#are you living my life for me? no? then shut up you dont know the hell ive been going through for the last ten years#you dont know how exhausting mental illness is and how draining it can be#im the only person who can decide what i want to do with my life#and if i want to end it i should be able to without people trying to push me into this 'oh no poor them!!!' place#i dont feel bad for being suicidal bc dying always seems better than whatever will come if i stay alive#i dont feel sorry for myself#so you shouldnt either
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He did? Umm.. what happened exactly?
(referring to this post)
my 11th grade chemistry teacher had an associates degree in liberal arts.
you know how in virtually every class you’ve ever had since middle school, your teachers made a big stink about the syllabus? she didn’t have one. this was her first teaching job, which she got because of her length experience as a substitute, not by her licensing qualifications. we were, at first, excited to have her, because she was a “fun sub” and we were 17 years old and stupid as all shit. we were the “normal chem” class in a system where the only other options were “honors chem” which was filled with children who actually know how to study (or cheat) and have an air of proper student activity, and “AP Chem”, which is clear enough if you’ve been an american student in the last 15 years.
she followed the mcgraw hill chemistry book in order of chapters, despite the fact that our state standardized tests did several of the chapters out of order. ever notice how you’ll suddenly be looking at chapter 11 when just last week you were on chapter 5, then the next week you’re on chapter 8? standardized testing is the reason. anyways by asking my friends in other classes who had chemistry teachers of relative competence, i was able to discern which chapters i should focus on, and while she was distracted with literally watching youtube videos all period, I was turning around in my seat and walking across the classroom helping my friends and enemies with the packets. (she was a two-packets-a-week kinda teacher.)
yes i said enemies too. the people i hated, i hated because they were sons of bitches i wouldnt piss on to put out a fire. i hated them so dearly i used to pray to god that they would bump into me so i could throw myself into the concrete and split my forehead open and get them expelled due to the blood-clause of our “zero-tolerance policy”. two of the kids in my class had, only the previous year, attempted to set my hair on fire.
i hated the teacher more.
it gave me extreme pleasure to see her fume and clench her fists when a student would say “i need help” across the classroom and she would move to get up and they would say “oh not you miss, im waiting for vicky.” jesus christ the only time ive ever felt a comparable high was when i was at a halloween party in college where i was literally so zooted i couldn’t move.
it got worse over time, her getting more and more angry, my ego growing larger and larger. i was a huge bitch in high school, i really thought i was the smartest bitch in the room at any given moment. severe main character syndrome. imagine that kind of person actually being right for 45 minutes out of every day. can you even comprehend the kind of frustration that would create? in a room full of little sociopaths who dont give a shit about anything but getting this joke of a class over with so they can graduate? your first real teaching job and they look right past you, the teacher, to this annoying little shit whose grades are completely abysmal? how are they managing to learn anything from a child who can barely speak in front of more than 10 people? who turns cherry red in the face of literally every authority figure in the building except you? who can’t concentrate and stay still in one spot for more than five minutes? all of your other classes behave! they listen! they sit down and shut up and do the packets! so what fucking gives!!!
so you say “fine, since you all HATE ME so much i just won’t teach then!!!” on literally week fucking ten of teaching. and instead of prostrating themselves before you, begging you to like... point at transparencies and read directly from powerpoints i guess.
and they all collectively say “okay” and let the chipmunk child flutter between desks and help them memorize formulas and mnemonic devices and shit. surely her grades will suffer if she’s constantly dealing with other people and you’ll have justification that her horseshit is “distracting” and “a detriment to her studies”. she got bored gave up on that after two days after nothing changed.
then we did the midterm.
except at the end of the exam packet was something we never learned because again, she was going through the book chronologically. because i actually enjoyed the chem book (so much that i stole it when the year was up lmao), i knew the material.
it was about lewis dots/structures. i couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it today but in december 2010 i absolutely knew that shit. i didnt have too much of a problem with it in the exam, but the students who had gotten to that point were complaining and at first she pulled that “you should have been studying independently uwu” shit but the class was about to get loud during exam period so she shushed us and said that when we get to that point, just stop, and she’ll mark it correct during grading, no harm no foul just keep it quiet. one of the more confrontational students called horseshit and said theres no way we’re trusting that and there’s definitely no way anyone will keep an entire classroom cheating at the instruction of the teacher quiet.
i offered to teach it.
she scoffed, rolled eyes, said “sure fine but you can’t get your exam back” and i said “okay.” so when everyone was to the point in the exam, we piled them all on her desk and i used the whiteboard to briefly and quietly explain lewis dots, used the book examples and problems, and helped the other kids understand. there were a couple exam questions that were lifted straight from the book problems so i skipped those. while teaching i realized i had gotten a couple wrong which sucked :( it was an incredibly stupid experience overall, and no teacher worth the paper their certification is printed on would have allowed that to happen. and fucking yet.
anyways everyone but me got their exams back and finished it and many of us passed, only a few of them did particularly well.
discussing the chem exam with friends who also took the chem exam, many students found their anecdote about the lewis dots to be confounding, for you see, the exam we took was not, in fact, the midterm, but the god damned final.
she had us taking the fucking final because she didnt read the fucking folders which read “midterm” and “final exam” on them
she was reprimanded severely and we all had to take the exam on different days, in different classrooms, sitting very far apart. after that she hated me even more. like girl it was your fault lmao i am literally a teenager grow up lol. anyways you can imagine how much more fucking insufferable i became, knowing how miserable she was.
it all came to a head in february when some students were giggling quietly following a minor fuck up on her part regarding bellwork. they were making fun of her like “are you sure thats not tomorrows bellwork lol” and a friend next to me did the “hey i need help wait no miss not you sorry” thing and when i answered him, she solidly snapped. blah blah YOURE SOOOO DISTRACTING blah blah YOU THINK YOURE SOOOO SMART DONT YOU blah blah blah and she was like demanding i leave the room and shouting at the top of her lungs at me “ YOU POISON THE MINDS OF EVERY OTHER STUDENT HERE. YOU’RE POISONOUS VICTORIA, YOU’RE A VIRUS IN THIS CLASSROOM.”
i will never forget that line as long as i live. it was like crack to me. i moved to open the door to leave and the vp opened it first. he escorted me to the office and asked me what happened, then told me to keep my head down in class from now on, and that if i wanted to help my friends i should give them my number and help them out on our own time. i was like “bro thats really stupid” and he was like “thats all we can do right now but i promise we’re working on it”
i lasted the rest of the year giving smug smiles as we did packet after fucking packet for the rest of the year. they were all take-home work. i wasnt comfy giving my number to my enemies. the class camaraderie ended.
the final was altered. my class took a different final than the rest of the normal chem classes.
i started 12th grade and got a solid case of senioritis. i told that story to anyone who would listen. while it was happening, i obviously told my favorite teacher everything as it happened. when i mentioned it senior year he was like “oh yeah i forgot about her,
she was fired over the summer.”
#let me tell you bitch i SCREAMED......#anyways im not sorry this was long#its literally the only cool thing thats ever happened to or about me so shrugs#Anonymous
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Voicemail. ~one-shot~
a/n: howdy babes, last night i was reading through @toothpastekissy masterlist, basically gobbling up everything and came upon Leaked Feelings! I loved the concept of it so I decided to write my own version :) lmk if y’all want a part two!
ALSO, i recorded myself singing both songs i wrote for harry,,,, if ya want to know the tunes i was thinking for them, comment if you want them and ill post em.
my masterlist
There they were.
The leaked files.
When you got a call at 4 am this morning, you did not expect your publicist to be telling you some of your exes songs were leaked.
“What’s that got to do with me?” You asked, still half asleep.
“They’re about you, Y/N.” Well now you’re awake.
“What?” You shot up out of bed, padding over to your white desk, fuzzy pink socks on your feet. You opened your laptop and jumped onto twitter, scrolling through with one hand while the other held your phone. #StylesLeak was trending worldwide, as was #Y/N.
HarryUpdates tweeted:
OMG OMG RED ALERT WE GOT LEAK SONGS Y’ALL
FineFuckinLine tweeted:
OOF, what the fucccccck did harry do to Y/N? These are all apology songs!!! No wonder the break up was hush hush
E!News tweeted :
Hey everyone! We know Harry Styles and Y/N L/N stans are up early this morning! Leaked songs from Harry sales have been put out on the web for everyone to see. The two singers had called it quits 3 years ago, but now they’re the trending topic again! #shipname is now trending #1 worldwide, I didn’t ever think we’d see that one again! Go to our website for more!
You heard you publicist let out a big sigh, you put your phone on speaker and set it down on the desk next to you so you could keep looking.
“There are 7 songs, and each one has your name in it or as the title.”
It was a bit of shock, to say the least.
You had hung up with your publicist a while ago and were now debating on whether to listen to the songs or not, you had found a fan account that had the leaked files all ready to go for your entertainment, but something made you hesitate clicking the url.
“You Bastard!” You screamed, shoving him back into the wall.
Mascara was streaming down your face, the satin red cocktail dress you wore now crumpled as your crouched to grab your suitcase from underneath the bed.
“Please listen, it’s not what you think—“ Harry started, you whipped around to the man before you, fire burning in your eyes.
“Oh, really Harry? How is me hearing you say ‘yeah Y/N is alright, but gotta keep the media happy ya know’ on a voicemail I probably wasn’t supposed to get not what I think?”
Quickly, you zipped the bag closed, kicking your heels off and shoving your feet into your beat up converse. He let out an exasperated breath, tears starting to shine in his eyes.
“I—I was drunk Y/N! I was with some friends just joking around and—“
“Drunk words are sober thoughts Harry.”
You snapped back, slipping your tench coat on and racing for the stairs, luggage in hand. You rubbed away the endless tears running down your face as you made it to the living room, collecting your keys.
H raced down after you, mumbling over words—
‘Excuses’, You thought.
Right before you opened the front door, he grabbed your hand that was wrapped around the handle of your suitcase.
“Please Y/N, can’t we just sit down and talk this out—“
“There’s nothing to talk about Harry, you made that perfectly clear when I had to listen to you compare me some ‘other models’ while at a very important record dinner! I had to fucking sit there, eyes on me, and act like you weren’t ripping my heart out one word at a time!”
You snatched your hand out of his and moved out the door,
“Don’t call me,” was the last thing you said before slamming the door shut.
Bringing back those memories was something you didn’t want to do, it had been 3 years since the break up. Harry didn’t come after you, even though a part of you wished he had. Wished he had tried harder to get you back. But alas, shortly after, he started dating a model, Camile or something, and your relationship was tossed aside like yesterdays newspaper.
You moved back and forth with your mouse on the link, eventually you closed the page. Instead of fully chickening out, you decided to go to your favorite platform for celebrity gossip, tumblr.
“At least one of his die-heart fans must have the lyrics written down already.”
You mumbled to yourself, logging into your secret side blog about cats, Captain America, and cute outfits.
After not that much digging you found a blog, harrysmygod, (you definitely rolled your eyes at the name) had a whole posting written out about it already.
“They’re sure on top of everything, I’ll give them that.”
You started to read.
Hello my harries!
So if you’ve been up these past few hours, something big has happened! HARRY STYLES HAD SOME FUCKING SONGS LEAKED!!! And no, I don’t mean songs that could have been on the FineLine album, I mean OLD songs!
And they’re about, you know my fav girl, Y/N! Now, we know their break up 3 years ago was very quick and hush-hush, not much details ya know?
BUT WE GOT THE JUICE NOW LADIES!!
The boy wrote 7 songs that got leaked, and you wonder why I know they’re about her? Y/N is a lyric or title word used in all of them! Thats right, all 7 songs. I’ve done the best thing for everyone and written out the lyrics for you to look through, I’ve only kept one chorus and each new verse, if you listen to the song and its repeated I only wrote it down one for you, blah blah you get it?
Great! Heres the first one, it’s called Voicemail.
You took a deep breath and scrolled down.
The look on your face,
The hurt in your eyes,
Made me realize, my lover was gone,
I never got to say goodbye.
Oh, Oh, Ah, Oh.
The words I had said, not true,
I’m so sorry you heard them too.
When you came home in that dress,
Mascara dripping onto your chest.
I knew I had fucked up,
One voicemail turning us to dust.
If you ever hear this song,
Know that I was wrong,
You were the best thing in my life,
Now those flames have turned to ice.
Oh, Oh, Ah, Oh.
Y/N, please remember the love we once had together,
So I know I am real
And then maybe, we could try to heal.
Heaaaaaaaaaal.
Wow you guys, this SONG! Totally sucks that harry didn’t mean to release them cause totally invasion of privacy (sorry harry), but lucky for us we’ve got some info on what happened between Y/N and him!
I’m thinking maybe a voicemail gone wrong? They could have been in a fight and he said something that cut too deep? Lmk what you guys think, heres the next on called Gone.
You scrolled through them, you read all the songs. Lover’s Funeral, Drunk Thoughts, Empty Seat, Your Sock Drawer, and then finally, Y/N.
Alright, we’ve made it to the last song my dudes. And personally it’s my favorite!!!! This was the last song leaked, but I feel the most important. Here’s Y/N.
Oh, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,
You make my heart fly,
I feel as though I could touch the sky,
I only need your love to try.
My love, love, love
You shine brighter than any star above.
Make me count everyday,
I should have tried to make you stay.
Oh, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N
I know we can agree
That I’m a bastard
Im a flake,
You made the right choice
Walking out on me
But could I have
A second chance,
I know it would be worth it
In the end
Because I’d get,
On one knee,
And promise myself to you
For all eternity.
Oh, Y/N Y/N Y/N
My love, love, love
Oh, Y/N Y/N Y/N
My love, love, love
You gasped, basically jumping away from the computer like it was on fire. Thoughts raced through your mind, you grabbed your head, trying to keep it all together.
He wanted to marry you? Impossible. 3 Years ago this man was thinking about proposing, then how could he say all those horrible things about you?
“He’s not worth another heartbreak, stop it, stop it!” You chanted to yourself.
While you paced back and forth making a dint in your soft white carpet, you had tuned out the notifications for instagram, twitter, and calls coming through to you.
But then a certain dial tone popped up that you had only set for one person.
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
You glanced to your phone on the table and froze.
Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)
Sent you a message.
Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)
Sent you a message.
Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)
Sent a voice file “Mrs. Styles.”
Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)
Sent a voice file “I Should Have Fought.”
Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)
Sent a voice file “I’m Sorry.”
<3
here’s part 2!!!!!!!!!
#harry styles x reader#harry styles oneshot#harry x reader#harry oneshot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#harry styles fic#harry x famous!reader#harry styles x famous!reader#harry x famous!y/n#harry styles x famous!y/n#harry styles x you#one direction#h s#hs2
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objection
because im now a law/crim student, this is all im gonna fuckin write about
anyway here’s andrew as neil’s defence attorney (totally inspired by @aymmidumps‘ amazing andrew here)
gruesome crime descriptions but neil’s not a butcher in this one
*
“Wesninki’s applying for an appeal,” was all Andrew heard from the minute he’d stepped into the office. It was all anyone could - and would - talk about.
Reasonably so, Andrew presumed. Nathaniel Wesninski had been locked up since his nineteenth birthday, when he slit his father’s throat. Andrew reckons he should’ve never been charged with murder, especially when considering his father was the Butcher of Baltimore, but Andrew had been just an undergraduate student at the time. There was nothing he could’ve done.
Now, though.
Now Andrew was just over thirty and steadily climbing the ranks. He hadn’t intended on becoming a defense attorney, but it just so happened that he was damn good at keep kids out of jail. The juvenile detention system was just a cog in the wheel of dysfunction, after all: he knew that first hand.
Survivors of violent assault who had killed their attackers were also common clients of Andrew’s. Those with mental illnesses and drug addictions found their way into his stack of case files, too. He’d always thought he’d be on the right side of the law, throwing shitty people in jail and fixing the system one day at a time.
This was alright too, he supposed.
“Hey, Minyard,” Boyd leaned against the door-frame of Andrew’s office. He had his own private space, unlike the others, who often shared offices with two or three of their colleagues. Andrew was just lucky. Or favoured.
“Let me guess,” Andrew said, without looking up from his file on a thirteen-year-old being charged with battery and theft. “Dan’s pissy because I didn’t turn up to dinner on Friday, there’s free coffee in the break room, Wesninski’s applying for appeal and Wymack wants me?”
“Uh,” Matt squinted. “Yes? How the hell did you guess?”
Andrew gave Matt a bored look. “You talk too loud. The walls are thin, you know.”
The man huffed, conflicted between being impressed and disgruntled at Andrew’s usual bitchiness. He simply threw his hands up and vanished from Andrew’s doorway, most likely to groan to his wife about how incorrigible Andrew seemed to be.
He threw his file onto his desk, locked his office door behind him and swung past the break room to dump three packets of sugar into a free latte. By the time he arrived at Wymack’s door, the man was already stood up, most definitely unimpressed by Andrew’s tardiness. And his lack of tie.
He did wear a tie to court. Most of the time.
“Nice of you to finally show up,” the old man grunted, tugging on the cuffs of his casual blazer. Andrew fucking hated blazers. They were always too tight around his shoulders. “I suppose you already know what this is all about?”
“Seeing as Allison, Robin and Renee have all tried to talk my ear off about it, yes. I’m aware Wesninski is trying for appeal.”
Wymack wasn’t impressed. “What you don’t know is that he’s come to us to represent him.”
Andrew paused. Now that was interesting. Nathaniel Wesninski was halfway between New York and Baltimore. Why the fuck would he recruit from seedy South Carolina? There was no viable reason, unless -
“Kevin,” he deduced. “How do they know each other?”
“Moriyamas and Wesninskis ran in the same circles, before it all got shut down.” Wymack arched a brow. “Wesninski figures that Kevin is the only person he can trust.”
“Kevin won’t do it,” Andrew shook his head. “He doesn’t touch anything Moriyama related with a ten-foot pole.”
“Wesninski knows that. Which is why he’s asked for you: Kevin passed him on.”
Andrew closed his eyes, very, very briefly, as he cocked his head at his boss. “You want me to get the most notorious gangster’s son out of jail.”
“At least have him commuted to manslaughter,” Wymack suggested.
At least, Andrew thought. He remembered looking over the Wesninski case in his third year. Nathaniel Wesninski had laughed, incredulous, as the FBI lead him away in handcuffs, nearly losing his fingers in an effort to cling onto the knife that he’d used to end Nathan Wesninski’s life.
That wasn’t manslaughter. That was homicide of the first degree, plastered over the front page of every newspaper the next day.
"You’ll owe me,” Andrew warned.
“I’ll cover your bar tab at the Foxhole for the rest of the year,” Wymack conceded.
Andrew huffed. “It’s February.”
Wymack arched an eyebrow.
Andrew had a feeling he’d regret this. He hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his slacks and rocked back on his heels, looking to the ceiling. “Fine.”
“It was an order, not a request,” Wymack grunted. “Get out of my office and get a visitation permit.”
Andrew, already fed up with a case he’d only just been assigned, turned on his heel and dutifully marched off.
*
The drive was nine and a half hours. Andrew could’ve made it a single-day round trip on a plane, but he refused to fly somewhere he could drive instead. He booked a half-hour slot with Wesninski on Saturday afternoon: if he found the man interesting enough, he’d bribe a guard to let him back in Sunday morning. Then he’d drive home, midday Sunday.
At least Wymack was letting him stay in a nice hotel in Philadelphia. It almost made the journey worth it, but he wouldn’t jump the gun. It would only be a worthwhile trip if he figured that Wesninski wasn’t hopeless. The man was just 29. It was nearly 10 years since he’d been locked up. Andrew’s chances were - practically slim to none.
Half-way through the drive Nicky called.
“Heard you’re going to see Wesninski,” he said, the phone somewhat masking Nicky’s obvious curiosity.
Andrew sighed. “Aaron needs to shut his mouth.”
“Aaron comes to family dinners,” Nicky objected. “He has every right to tell me whatever he wants. Speaking of - if I promise you a whole loaf of garlic bread, will you come to the next one?”
Andrew huffed. “I’m busy.”
“Yeah, yeah, you hate socialising, you’ll tolerate dealing with Aaron at work but nowhere else, blah blah. What about me? Your dear, old cousin?”
“Fine,” Andrew grunted. “Now, leave me alone.”
“Yes!” Nicky crowed, but whatever response he had after that was cut off. Andrew dropped his phone back in the passenger seat, turning the radio back up and relaxing into his chair.
It was a further five hours after that disturbance till his arrival at SCI Phoenix, Philadelphia. Andrew would always despise how depressing prison complexes looked. Chain link fences and brick boxes, splayed out like a progression of architectural failures. The parking lot was enormous and empty. Andrew parked far enough away that his nice car wasn’t in direct sight from the prison’s visiting entrance, fixing up his suit and tie and slinging the strap of his briefcase over his shoulder.
The guard by the door snapped his fingers for identification. Andrew flicked his license towards him, gaze deadened by boredom. The guard almost winced when Andrew sighed, looking to the clock. Once he was finally granted access, he took the lanyard and shoved his way through the doors.
Visitation was close to shutting up when Andrew arrived, miserable loved ones reaching for final hugs and brief kisses. Andrew was lead by the duty guard to a private room, waiting by the barred door.
Wesninski was already waiting for him inside. His hands were cuffed to the table, fiddling with a blunt key. His red curls were overgrown and messy, the grey jumpsuit hanging off his small frame.
When the door clanged shut, Wesninski looked up. His eyes were the most spectacular blue Andrew had ever seen, his face marred by horrific scars and the stitches used to hold him together. He looked ridiculously unimpressed. Andrew, meanwhile, smothered any flickers of emotion as intrigue sparked in his chest.
Damn, he thought.
“Unlock him,” Andrew said, to the guard.
The guard arched an eyebrow. “You sure?”
“Obviously,” Andrew said, rolling his eyes. He didn’t have knives on his person - they’d set off the metal detector - but he was never vulnerable. He made a promise that he’d never be taken advantage of again.
Wesninski flexed his wrists when the guard unlocked them, giving Andrew a thinly veiled look of appraisal. The guard immediately skittered off to stand outside the door, holding the interrogation room’s keys in tightly clenched fists.
“So,” Wesninski said, holding out a hand. “You’re the famous Andrew Minyard.”
"And you are the infamous Nathaniel Wesninski,” Andrew returned, ignoring the warmth of his skin as they shook hands. He sat down: the shitty metal chair creaked. “We both seem to have names and reputations that precede us.”
Nathaniel’s eye twitched slightly. “I prefer Neil.”
Andrew leant back in his chair, leg crossed at the ankle. “You seriously think they’re going to let you out?”
“Well,” Neil admitted. “Probably not. But I figured I’d give it a shot. It should be safer out there now.”
“You’ve been hiding in here? Who from, your father’s ghost?”
Neil was not impressed. “His bosses, actually. But since Kengo’s second son was shot between the eyes and his first son locked up for it, I should be fine.”
“Riko and Ichirou,” Andrew deduced. “Kevin’s mentioned them once or twice.”
Neil just glared. “I can’t believe that coward won’t help me.”
Andrew narrowed his eyes. “He owes you, does he? What for? Helping him escape the Moriyamas? Wait - that was me. What about coping with his trauma and reestablishing his career? Nevermind - that was me, too. Goodness, you haven’t been around much, have you? Right, right,” Andrew leaned over the table, resting his chin on his laced fingers. “You’ve been in jail for ten years.”
“You are not funny,” Neil snapped, gripping onto his blunt key.
“I don’t know if it’s worth my time, Mr Wesninski,” Neil flinched again. “Convince me.”
“Other than it’s what is just?” Andrew arched an eyebrow. Neil huffed. “Fine. I’ll pay you. Double your normal fee.”
“Prison pays well, does it?”
“Blood money,” Neil had the audacity to wink. Dammit, Andrew thought again. “I already know you’re quite happy to spend dirty cash, Minyard. A G6, right? Bit of an upgrade from your mother’s car.”
He should not know that. “You’re not exactly winning me over, here.”
Neil leaned back in his chair, fiddling with the stupid little key. He must have spent the last decade tracing it down to its current blunt status. Andrew wondered what it used to unlock.
Okay - he was intrigued by Neil. And yes, his narrative fit Andrew’s bill. And some spare cash wouldn’t hurt: he could sent Nicky and Erik over to Christmas for the summer.
“What’s something you’ve never given anyone?” Andrew inquired.
Neil looked up from under his ruby-tinted lashes. “What?”
“I want something that no one else has.” Andrew leaned further forward, leaning in close. “What do you have to offer me, Wesninski?”
For a moment, Neil simply stared. His fingers stilled. He definitely had a few tattoos and scars, from what Andrew could glean at the little slice of a sharp collarbone, exposed by the jumpsuit.
It was silent - almost electric. Andrew watched as something behind Neil’s eyes crumbled, the exhaustion settling in, the loneliness of a man who had known nothing but pain and suffering and isolation.
“Everyone knows Nathaniel Wesninski,” Neil said. “No one knows Neil.”
Andrew felt the remnants of a smirk tug at the corner of his lips.
“I’ll tell you the truth,” Neil offered, glaring at the table like it offended him. “I’ve never told the truth before.”
Andrew stood up, offering his hand. Neil followed suit, grip hesitant where he clasped Andrew’s hand.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Andrew said.
“You’ll try,” Neil corrected him.
“Here’s something you should know about me, Neil,” Andrew tugged on his suit jacket, fixing his cuffs. “I never fail a promise.”
Andrew felt Neil’s gaze, watching him as he left. As Andrew filtered past the guard, he snuck a two hundred into the guard’s pocket.
“Nine o’clock, tomorrow morning,” he said. “Bring him here.”
The guard, moon-eyed, just nodded.
Andrew glanced over his shoulder for one last assessment of his newest client. Neil was leant against the table they had spoken at, arms crossed as he glared in Andrew’s direction. His hair flopped forward, masking one eye. Like this, with his tattooed forearms and shoulders and hell-fire hair, he looked dangerous.
In his right hand, he played with his key.
Andrew spun on his heel and left. He knew he’d made the right decision.
Neil Wesninski would get out of jail, if it was the last thing Andrew did.
*
#andreil#andrew minyard#lawyer!andrew#felon!neil#neil josten#all for the game#defence attorneys don't always suck!#aftg#tfc#the foxes#law firm!foxes#david wymack#kevin day#tw: a lil bit of mentioned murder#the tension between them is just#mwah#i love my boys#jem writes
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honestly i don't think c!dream will get a redemption arc, dream has said on multiple occasions that he doesn't think ppl should be sympathetic towards c!dream at all so idk i don't think he'd be interested. plus i feel like he's done too much for it to be worth it/make sense: even if he redeemed himself, i feel like the only ppl who would forgive him would be c!george, c!puffy and maybe c!sapnap. not to mention if he really took accountability for his actions, he'd have to willingly stay in the prison (which idk. that's just the same situation we're in rn, only c!dream feels bad, so it feels kinda boring plot wise?). also it would definitely be a rlly controversial thing between viewers (and ofc they shouldn't just do things to please ppl, but a c!dream redemption arc would definitely piss off a bunch of fans). also im just not sure c!dream has it in him tbh, like, he's never once shown any regret for his actions or sympathy for his victims (when c!tommy was yelling at him for killing him, he just asked if ppl thought it was cool and even in the l'manberg war for independence (before he went completely off the rails and lots of ppl on the server still liked him) after the final control room and his duel with c!tommy he didn't even seem remotely regretful that he'd taken like 6 canon lives in one day - like, even the least evil we've ever seen him, he still kinda sucked). idk i think a c!dream redemption arc would be rlly interesting (and difficult to pull off) but i don't think it ever rlly has a chance of happening
oh i didn’t say i want a redemption arc per se, because i feel like that often implies ‘this character deserves forgiveness :)’
like looking back at my ask i said “idk if i would call it a redemption arc” re what i want to see in c!dream’s future. like. we can’t just kill him off. he’s one of the most interesting characters in the server. if he’s gone the main conflicts, the main tension, is mostly gone, or the story is just over. i want to know more about him, i wanna see what he will do, be it get worse or better. i want to know like. more backstory? more reasons why he does what he does? does he mean the things he says? does he actually want nothing more than control? we don’t need to sympathize with or be apologists for c!dream (unless..... we get a BIG reason to. still, like u said, probably unlikely. idk where dream said what u told me, but also we don’t know where the plot is going just as much as they do? to a certain extent? it’s partially planned, partially improvised, and with members like george choosing to get more involved in the lore a lot of things about the story could change) to want to know more about him. he’s one of the only characters whose perspective we rarely ever get to see, and w the knowledge that dream MIGHT be doing a (mostly prerecorded?) lore stream from c!dream’s perspective...... im just interested in all possibilities i guess?
and regarding c!dream’s future as a character...... idk if i WANT him to be a better person, if i want for nothing to change, or if i want him to get. even worse somehow. quite honestly i just want whatever is the most. entertaining. and narratively satisfying? and just to add: a “c!dream tries to be a better person” arc is an interesting pool of potential for me NOT because i want to see him be redeemed BUT because of the wavelengths it could create in other arcs. possibilities like 1) some characters will have to examine their own morality because some of them seem to be operating under the belief that c!dream is the standard for villainy so if they aren’t as bad as him, they aren’t bad. so what happens if he starts doing good things? 2) characters who will be casting doubt upon this, and the potential conflicts that could arise—who will take advantage of Nice Guy Dream? can he be taken advantage of? or will he always be one step ahead in terms of manipulation?
blah blah blah. it’s just fun to think about! i think it’s possible to want to see more from a character without trying to push for a narrative where they do a genuine 180 and everyone forgives them and everyone lives happily ever after. obviously, that would just be ridiculous, and it would be an injustice against the character arcs of dream smp characters who have been hurt by c!dream. hope this clears things up :)
#ask#also re ur last sentence: yeah it would take a LOT to pull it off#would be interesting to see what they’d have to do plot wise to pull it off tho i guess?#but really im just sitting here in anticipation to see what they do next w c!dream#dream smp#mcyt
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Rules for Requesting and Asks!
Heyo, you beautiful little bean! Before I start the rules and all that jazz:
(or shoulder pats, if you don’t like them hehe)
So: Rules. Oh boy. I’m not a fan of rules-- rules feel like it’s just “blah blah blah, do this, not that, blah blah” so Imma try to make these as easy as possible for y’all who are excited to ask >:D
1. Soulmate/Normal Matchups (Closed)
What I Ask of You:
You can be as detailed as you want, or you can just make it the bare minimum, do whatever is easiest for you, my dear :D
Just try to include enough about you so that I know which result/outcome would make you the most comfortable
I might be a bit dismissive, so I’ll send you a notif for when I get the ask! Anons are also 1000 percent welcome :]
Yes, I have dedication issues. This is why I’m only in love with fictional characters and not real people xD!
Oh, and I won’t match you with Willie or Alex unless you’re also a dude, but I might match you two has best friends!
Please try to be as respectful as possible in your ask 🥺🥺🥺
I’m not asking for you to worship me or scream at me with thank you’s, but just don’t scream at me for taking too long. Try not to curse every two words because I’m trying to keep my brain *jazz hands* holy
No, jkjk it’s just that there might be younger users reading over these xDD
OKAY SO ANYWAYS
Try to include:
I literally don’t care!! I want you to feel as free as possible while writing yours. Talk about anything you want. I don’t care if you speak of you and your passion for eating raw cookie dough (but same lmao), or if you hate almond milk. Just talk about whatever you want!! I’m here to make people smile and nothing else, sugarcakes! d;
What You Get in Return:
Over 500 words worth in writing per each fandom
Yes, over 500 (it hurts like heck but it’s *throws skittles* okay)
A gif/fanart piece per fandom
You’ll get yours back either: Within 3 days, if you only requested only one fandom and you were very nice hehehehehe , three days if you wre still hecking amazing but I was busy, or it can go to AT MOST, AT MOST I PROMISE around 18 days if I’m having: an exam week, a pinned post, getting a lot of asks, or yours was really complicated and my brain exploded
At times, it may never come if *cough* TUMBLR EATS IT
I will also throw you fifty virtual hugs and skittles
And yes, every ask comes with a thousand hugs, compliments, and shoulder pats!!
A bunch of dating headcanons
If you put in your name, yes, I can customize ;D
What the person I matched you with does when you feel down
How they support you
How you support them
90 percent of it is mainly me rambling about how sweet everyone who asks is, but what can I say? Y’all are precious as heck
Example of Matchup: Hi! Can I please have a matchup for a male character in Julie and the Phantoms (besides willie + alex)? I’m an INFP-T, 5′4″, Aries, and I’m also very annoying haha. I like writing, dance, and singing-- usually, I write a lot of fantasy novels and I want to be an author when I grow up! I also really like baking desserts, particularly brownies, and I also like to make mocktails if I ever get the chance. I love reading, John Green books especially, and I’m usually the funny person in the group to lift everyone’s spirits. Thank you so much :)
2. Band and Song Matchups (Closed)
These are definitely one of the most fun things to do! You can ask for this to be included in your other matchup, but a quick summary of it would be:
Send me your description, but this time add your physical description as well!
A few of the extra-curricular activities you do
Send up to 8 emojis describing your personality and aesthetic (haha it sounds weird but please trust me on this XD)
Your favorite JATP song
Your favorite genre, and/or your fashion style
And wabam, that’s it!
I’ll reply with who I’d see you as in the band, and what song you would be in Julie and the Phantoms. Seems ridiculous, but heyy ya know XD
3. Headcanons, Imagines, Blurbs, Scenarios, Full Stories
PLEASE SEND HOWEVER MANY NUMBER OF THESE LIKE AJAJJAJAJAJAJAJA
I’ll write for any “X READER” that you request
Literally anything
Angst, major character death, if you’re sad, I GOTCHU
Request for as many characters as you want!!
I can write NSFW, BUT I SUCK AT IT SO PLEASE TRY NOT TO REQUEST IT LMFAO
I’ll write everything else
No, like everything else ever
Okay I won’t write like a Reggie x Cowboy bootes but ya know (...that’s actually not a bad idea-)
It doesn’t just have to be a character insert, it can be anything else!! I really don’t mind :]
TRY TO INCLUDE:
What word count you want (or you can write that you’re chill with anything)
Your gender
Which POV you want it in
And I’ll send you what date I can get yours in!
4. Customized Asks:
I have never done this before, so this is kinda new!
IN CUSTOMIZED ASKS:
Put in a lengthy and concise description of yourself-- it should be a lot more detailed than a matchup. Include your personality type, a lot about your personality, anything you want to add, but make it worth it!! Write A LOT about yourself!! Also, be sure to include your name.
Once you have the full thing, private-message me (please make sure you have an account!!) and I’ll send you my Tumblr asks email so you can send your description (or, send it in the submit form or asks, if you’re okay with it being public).
In return, I write you a reader insert with your real name (not y/n hehe) and make it customized just for you. I’ll make it perfect (or try to,) with your personality, your height, your likes, your interests, and your name so that it’s built just for you and no one else!!
The best part??
YOU DON’T HAVE TO PAY ME REAL MONEY HEHEHEHEHHEH
That’s right! A customized ask that goes from 3,000-10,000 words that should come within three weeks! Instead, all I ask is for some support in any way 🥺🥺🥺 It can be through reblogs, (remember: REBLOGS> LIKES d;), a simple follow or shoutout, or even just a thank you. I’m only here to make people happy!! Thank you so much if you do plan on supporting <333</p>
4. Random Asks/Advice
Scream at me. Vent whatever you want to me. Ask me to help with your math homework. Your ELA homework. Ask for love advice. Tell me about what you did this morning. I LOVE, LOVE GETTING THESE ASKS!!
I love it when people come to me not just for asks and such, but just to tell me about their lives or to ask me quetsions!! And I bet a lot of other creators do, as well! So please support them <3</p>
SCREAM AT ME ALL YOU WANT HON, IM HERE TO LISTEN
I’m sorry that this was a bit long, but if you read the full thing, HIGH FIVE >:3
Thank y’all so much!! Stay safe ^U^
#julie and the phantoms#julie and the phantoms x reader#jatp x reader#luke patterson x reader#luke patterson imagine#luke julie and the phantoms#jatp reggie#jatp request#jatp matchups#julie#julie and the phantoms julie#julie and the fantoms#bi reggie#reggie x reader#jatp alex#request rules#rr
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