#bit of a weird post but fuck it it’s my blog
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if you need therapy and you know it clap your hands
@yunfox00 @willowthefoxxo @speakofthedebbie @zoerislovely @sunifixation @theelectrichighlighter @teanster123
#👏👏#therapy#ooc#bit of a weird post but fuck it it’s my blog#heheheheheheheh#spamming weird shit at this point#tagging people cuz yeah#if u wanna tag people go ahead
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admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS
i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).
i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.
nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"
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i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.
i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.
i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.
i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).
but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.
but it wasn't worth the price for me.
so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.
ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?
of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??
in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".
anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)
anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.
#text#my art#doodle#sketch#sona#prince#cyclops#long post#HOLY SHIT THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED#sorry for the fucking rambling essay at 12am#tomorrow im doing cute commission art because its cute and i like that#i might one day share some of my fav vent pieces but for now its a bit weird#its also weird being open on any platform of mine not dedicated to being my personal blog#so im also very anxious abt that#but i wanted to try being more open and active on here too... so...#i hope this is ok#this isnt a vent either btw just me going on a ramble#i have been thinking abt it a lot the past year#also sorry for the many disclaimers#i am internetpilled and working on it#its funny cuz i dont even use twitter or tiktok which is commonly associated w the whole uh#people irl: hey whats up#kind of thing#i am very scared to share but i have a draft of this topic saved already like i do want to talk abt it#idk what i am afraid of so whatevs#also dont expect this much so anyone whos afraid ill be doing posts like this often#uh dont worry BSBDFBSD
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still feel so vindicated by tpatd. i dont rly have proof of it but i always wanted tlq to be a bit of a strange beast but i was worried it conflicted w canon (the wraith in particular, and the lack of a visible mouth in his appearances) so i scrapped some ideas i had to make him more beastly so tpatd was such an incredible and welcome surprise
#stp spoilers#i know theres the whole 'fuck canon' thing and i support that but i tend to try rly hard to make my works as canon compliant as possible#it bothers me if i dont#which prob sounds strange from someone who draws objects w animal limbs#but that feels more like artistic interpretation of simple designs than contradictory#and i also just sorta felt like everyone else must be onto smth or know smth i dont so seeing the popular general design for tlq#made me think that it mustve been intended for him to be so humanlike#being wrong made me so excited i got nauseous when i got to see tpatd#love that the guy has a huge beak and a creepy smile#i love a character who acts very normal and personality wise is generally just Some Guy#but is actually a weird guy who is a little scary#ill post some of my art of him in a bit after i get some food#actually art too lol not just joke stuff#i gotta start populating this blog w art ive been making since i got back into the game#maybe even my animation wip.... gotta work on that#AND i gotta get my voice designs posted bc theyre not that out there but im happy w them and had fun making them!
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My mom is talking about how we “need to hear both sides of the vaccine debate,” and I feel like I’m gonna fucking throw up. She doesn’t understand why I’m mad at her, and I’m like what’s the nice way to say your viewpoint is disgusting and dangerous. That I never thought you could be this stupid. That I don’t know how to be around you when you want to undo everything I want to do for people in my life.
#I’m just stunned and appalled#I mean for fuck’s sake I’m a doctor#and she just will not fucking listen to me#she keeps saying she’ll look into it#like what the fuck does that mean#you’ll look at your weird conspiracy blogs and make a decision?#idk it feels like losing my mom a bit#she’s been so smart and I just don’t understand this at all#but I feel like being republican the last eight years has slowly rotted her brain#it’s like she doesn’t think anymore#she just chooses the most emotionally appealing answer to everything#god#my content#my text posts
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the young royals fandom is so fucking weird about sara and i hate them for it
#i don't even think it's that the whole fandom is weird about sara. there's a good bit of people who are chill about it#i think the people who are weird about sara just won't stfu about it#like. i have had two blogs. my current blog is very tiny too. and every time i've made a sympathetic post about sara i get a negative ask#i get told i'm just projecting and my own autism means i don't understand her as well as they do#i get told she's a uniquely terrible person for her actions when the show is about teenagers all making mistakes#and being complex people#i get bad faith interpretations of her every action that don't dismiss her potential motives or ways she's been mistreated#i get told 'well yeah she has autism but that doesn't mean she's allowed to [complicated way to say be autistic]'#and this is all while the rich white prince is repeatedly forgiven for fucking with his partner's feelings for 3 seasons#bc 'he has anxiety!! it's soooo hard being a prince!'#which like. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. i'm the fucking ben hope guy and i try not to be hypocritical#but in the interest of not being hypocritical why him and not her#outside of racism and misogyny and selective ableism against people with more stigmatized disorders and classism#and also the shipping bias i mentioned the other day. bc people really glossed over him basically abusing his boyfriend this whole season#just bc they wanted wilmon endgame#it is. exhausting. fuck y'all fr#anyways. instead of responding to the ask i'm doing this vent post on a separate account#hashtag growth if you remember og indi-glo
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#uploads#blog post#moodboard#todays eats: khaleesi pitaya acai bowl#pesto mozzarella toast#rosemary lemonade and chocolate chip cookie#grandparent eggplant Parmesan ..#canes.#Drank lemonade at grampsthen water…#I’m Robotic lowkey cuz I am repetitive but it’s not the same sentence cuz I add diff nonverbal to it everytime#but whenever I go over to my grandparents. I’m the Grstitude robot lowkey all I say is thank you for having me thank yu for dinner thank you#for cooking thank you for your open door thank you for being concerned about us thank you for taking my call ahhh#Im not responding fr to two things i have a vague impression solicit a response#both are Boys#Been taking total drama island subliminals into my subconscious bc I have been watching the FUCK out of that show lately#Mom was wack lowk when i got home today but at the same time both my parents agreed to take me out to dinna for my bday ahhh#To the place of my childhood happiness#which my mom mercilessly dissed consecutively 6 times#i said she beats the dead horse and i hope she eats it#She fw horses so that was intentionally murderous imagery to shake her up lowkey#Been a bit since I’ve been to a therapy sesh gon from 4 hrs of therapy a week and dbt activities to free Willy Freeloada smokes weed as#therapy summaaaa#Amy and I linked after therapy today i was giving serious Dead eyed thousand yard stare weird sad faraway voice energy but of course w my#beautiful friends all my energy is beloved in some special wayyy#Im grateful to my family even tho it annoys and saddens me when my drunk mom gives energy that she would pick a fight over all else#Hmmm#Why not both lol#one must be a brave soldier to Fight the powa… powa the fighta#Good morning Nigo#I’m wearing Bape
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(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.
#i just think it’s silly….#like no joke i’ve written five songs this school year and lets see#there’s one about being a ‘‘silly stupid angel’’ who’s degraded and abused and idealized and stripped of all dignity#(yes it’s a commentary on the patriarchy. yes it’s about the toxic relationship i was in at the time. it’s also several of my kinks in one)#there’s one called GOOD BOY about being a dog. whining and kicking up the dirt. growling and whimpering. being taken advantage of#ITS JUST A METAPHOR. obviously. i actually wasn’t into puppy play yet when i wrote that song iirc. guess it got to me….#then there’s the cannibalism one. i gave my soul up you can eat me raw diced up and vulnerable i’m yours to try#it’s a ummmm it’s just a commentary. (also about my toxic relationship. he didn’t want to fuck OR eat me. but somehow still used me)#anyway the other two are just normal one is about filtering myself for him and the other is about being oppressed and poor and angry lol#still though. the fact that over half my songs are literally my kinks turned into poetry. and NOBODY KNOWS#it’s not my fault that those things are on my mind ALL THE TIME. what am i supposed to write songs about if not being a stupid puppy??#i don’t think anyone on my kink blog ACTUALLY wants to hear about this but my kinks are secret so this is the only place i can post about i#hope u can get some sort of psychological insight about me?? or idk stalk me?? show up 2 my shows and kidnap and use me?? who said that#i’m not even like. wet rn i’m just on here as reflex. and i’m THINKING. abt my TWISTED MIND and the weird shit i write about#in an intellectual way. cause i’m not USING my KINK BLOG this week. cause i SAID SO cause i need to KEEP MY WITS ABOUT ME#so i’m gonna be so normal. and not touch myself even a little bit cause i need to sleep and i need to move house and i need to be so normal#unrelatedly: tomorrow i’ll be one month on testosterone!! definitely hasn’t awakened anything in me….#anyway. anyway. i’m going to try to go to bed. probably going to end up edging myself stupid instead though#will just have 2 see what happens…. god it would be a shame if someone came in and used my sleeping body. who said that
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#risking my ass for this bit considering posting a vid is what got my account terminated IHDGIHDGHDFG#not for what it was but because i spam uploaded#IN MY DEFENSE TUMBLR WAS ALREADY ACTING WEIRD. so i guess it was just a glitch#this was not the fucking vid that killed me btw. this is me coming back from exile#i sent in an appeal and they never replied but i woke up with my account back??#weird shit#anyway i consider myself extremely lucky to come back intact. it could have just as easily been gone for good#HIGHLY recommend exporting your blog. because u never know#ive learned my lesson. no more posting videos at 1 am
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[cut to me standing with a baseball bat and hitting the button to set to no reblogs as fast as i can any time a post i made for myself gets any amount of attention]
#multi makes text posts#this was funnier in my head but i'm still posting it babeyyy#tonight has been a night of A Fucking Weird Headspace#but anyway ASDJFKL;L;AKSDJF#a post i made on one of my rp blogs bitching about ai covers got a bit of attention from random ppl#and i'm like..... hi...... please don't..............
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girl its so embarrassing but i love jonmartin so fucking much i havent cared this much about a ship since like. high school
#NOTHING COMPETES#guys its really bad that i got a new hyperfixation while in a bit of a rough period mental health wise#because MAMA MIA!!! THATS A GOOD ESCAPISM!!#i think i might. i think i might still be manic? its a little hard to tell. it can sometimes last more than just a day for me#sorry im bipolar posting abit#sometimes ur just having a fucking moment#its weird right because like. knowing im manic doesnt stop the manic. like i didnt know but now i do but i cant stop it! i would like to !#but at least i have my escapism lmao#kara stop blogging#ANYWAYS back to jonmartin#yeah theyre literally so romance. for the past several years i havent really been reading romance fics/interacting with any ship fanworks#like art or whatever#not intensely anyway#not out of a dislike? just a general disinterest. not sure why! just havent been in the mood? i guess?#but holyyyyyyyyyy fuck jonmartin is like. you are a 13 year old girl who just discovered shipping on tumblr for the first time again#I KNOW ITS A HORROR PODCAST BUT#LIKE COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#the characters are just so! FUCKING! GOOD#i also ADORED daisy and basira's dynamic#wough. okay ill shut up now#tma#also these fucking tags are like legit proof that the tags on my personal posts are just full on incomprehensible diary at this point. bye
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Sorry for the empty blog, it's been hard to keep up lately. I haven't been feeling well and my phone has been having issues. I've also been having more hallucinations than usual, and they have been much more involved than I'm used to. I'm still here, and I still want to post!! Things might just be quiet for a little while. Thank you for understanding 💕💕💕
#cielings keep breathing and i keep seeing people walking around ._.#not even shadow people anymore. well i still see shadow people but ive been seeing more like. normal human people.#glimpses of arms waving or someone walking by.#AND THE BUGS!!! GOD I FUCKING HATE THE BUGS!!!!!!#i am worried i might have an episode and im getting nervous about what might happen since it seems i am getting worse :(#SO if i start posting weird shit. please understand i am simply hot n sexy n insane.#(< i am trying to make jokes because maybe it wont be so bad if it is funny)#once again fighting off delusions with big sticks but honestly. what if im right ya know? much to think about 👍#wildly unrelated but allergies have been kicking my ass lately and im also a little bit normie sick :(#batty blogging#text
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i finally got to season 2 btw so now i finally got to The Guy (10th doctor)
gonna miss the previous guy tbh. think i already said that
but i also think its so funny how he literally said in no uncertain way that he literally needed to regenerate or he would die but everyone was insulting him and being all mean that he needed to rest after?? like ok lol
#and now hes full of adhd#rose crying about it felt like cis people crying when their partners transition JDJAJDJ#like i get that its a bit hard but hes not dead got damn. thats the whole reason he did that was so he wouldnt die ?!#wish i could look at the internet about how other people feel but then id get spoiled :[ downside of watching old things#also something that ig is harder to see usually. david has freckles ??? its so cute#cant believe twice now btw that they made me care about people i previously didnt like at all#skin sheet and weird green ET wannabe...... fucked up. anyway#my post#liveblogging#doctor who#sigh. making a fucking doctor who tag on my blog in the year 2023. who am i??
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thinking about how last night i had a dream where my friend (u guys know the one) idk found out the way i feel abt him or smthn and got rlly mad at me for talking abt him behind his back (i haven’t been saying anything negative irl or in the dream, all of it has been pining 😭) and then got further mad at me for liking or reblogging some of his vent poetry bcz i didnt understand what it means/didn’t properly relate to it ig and in the dream it was true (kinda) but for some reason i didn’t wanna tell him that so i was like “no i do get it” and he was like “oh yeah? what does this one mean?” and i got it wrong bcz i interpreted the word “drew” wrong and yeah when i woke up i felt rlly weird in the way u do when u have a nightmare and u have to remember that no, that person didn’t die u don’t have to grieve them dw or whatever and yeah when i turned my phone on i saw this “while in do not disturb” thingy that said he texted me which scared the shit out of half-awake me 💀
#i know literally no one cares but fuck off it’s my blog i can post what i want#also most of the dream took place over text btw#(the only part that didn’t being the “tell me what my poetry means” bit#which took place in this weird wormhole thing#tho he was still speaking to me with written/typed words he wasnt talking)#also yeah he was very ooc he does not act like this at all irl 😭 (incase u were wondering)#idk i think my brain might be trying to tell me smthn cause that’s normally what happens when my phone plays a role in my dream-#idk what it is other than imposter syndrome abt mental illness#or fear of losing my friend bcz he finds out i have a massive crush on him#both of which i already knew#anyways yeah idk#dreams#ryan shut the fuck up
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#i think ive been going way too overboard from what im actually comfortable with i dont actually like that#this is all weird and ive been acting weird and i feel bad maybe my mind has been way too foggy for me to. really think straight#like that sounds really dramatic i just feel weird and uncomfortable and wrong like my posts are weird and my attempts at talking#to people are weird and my conversations with my friends are weird#like im not acting like myself or im too out of it to remember how to act like myself#idk. i just dont wanna keep doing any of this but im not sure what ''any of this'' is#i got myself in some kind of spiral and im not having fun and i feel bad and gross and lame#i think im in an actual like bad mental health state#and i now im worried i have thousands of people following this damn blog and seeing my posts while im in a vulnerable state#and im acting erratic and weird and because i post my every thought in this website everybody is seeing me act erratic and weird#which just makes me much more anxious#i really hate how prone i am to letting my mental health make me act weird and how prone i am to over posting online due to a lack of#impulse control#and how i have an amount of followers that is way too large for it to be safe or healthy for me to be fucking myself over online#i am not minimally healthy or stable enough to keep my posture in front of a large audience and this should never have happened to me#i dont know that being said i should probably take a break for a bit#post less until i can get my head in place
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She’s literally SO PRETTY YOUR HONOUR I’m gonna call the police (pun intended)
#sin huellas#catalina pardo#shitty screencap posts (TM)#delayed but my computer crashed and I'm only just now regaining access to it#'if you want something done right you have to do it yourself' is apparently my fandom motto laughcry#I am single-handedly going to populate the catalina pardo tag if it's the last thing I do#anyway siri how do I deal with having a crush-adjacent situation with someone I used to see around the patio at recess???#this is new territory for me lmao#also she looks EXACTLY THE SAME it's freaking me the fuck out#from telenovelas to lead on an amazon show sharing screentime with the likes of silvia alonso and álex gadea you're doing amazing sweetie!!#also fun (and kinda weird) fact: when I was a kid I used to dream of having a cat named camila one day#I literally hadn't thought about that in AGES but it popped into my head recently and I realized something#that's a weirdly specific name to want to give your cat... and I think it's bc I always thought she was the prettiest girl in the school#and had such a pretty name#you could even say she was the first girl my age I ever had a crush on although I'd need a bit more introspection to corroborate that#and now I get to blog about her (respectfully) here on tumblr dot com#life is weird and wonderful sometimes#anyway pls go watch this show so it gets a season 2#I need camila to stay employed on something that's right up my alley so that I can continue to fully enjoy her
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NEW AND IMPROVED INFO ON UNIVERSE 1 AND THE FUNNY LITTLE GUYS WHO LIVE THERE
I decided to make an update to the original info post I made, since I changed the canon a lot since I made it. Plus, the old one was based on an even older character doc that didn't go into very much detail and omitted a few decently major characters. So, what the hell!! New year new info.
THE BASIC PREMISE:
A young sorta-goddess named Alice was born alongside her own personal pocket dimension to rule over and expand at her leisure. After many years of this, Alice decides she wants to make the perfect friend for herself, but in creating Mikayla, she accidentally makes her perfect nightmare instead. Mikayla turns against her creator, forming a pact with the monstrous Breaks to act as their commander in exchange for her world's eventual destruction, and Alice does not have the strength to create her own army to oppose them. In desperation, Alice turns her sights back to the Earth she was born to, and begins to build her army a different way - with the souls of those who died young and unhappy. The story follows the humans trapped in Alice's domain as they fight to survive in the hopes of one day thriving in this strange new world, while still struggling to deal with the scars from their pasts. The main story takes place sometime around 2016-2018.
SOME WARNINGS: mentions of death, abuse, school shootings, human experimentation, body horror, murder, bullying, car crashes and suicide. none of these will be discussed in depth (outside of the death part, since I will be mentioning how each of Alice’s soldiers died, and potentially the body horror part when it comes to describing Alice's guards), and will only be briefly mentioned, but I felt it was worth adding this warning nonetheless. let me know if there’s anything else I should add to this warnings list, and I’ll make sure to add that warning both to this and any future piece that may contain that particular content.
NOTABLE TERMS:
Authors - Someone with power over a Realm. The name is a shortened version of the word “authority”, as well as the term 'author/auteur' as used to refer to the primary creator of different forms of art. They look like normal people in their home worlds, but are reality-warping gods in their Realms. They can either be born this way (Founding Authors) or can be turned into an Author by a different Author (Inherited Authors). If an Author dies and hasn’t selected anyone to be their ‘heir’, their Realm crumbles and dies. The term has some variations - Alice, for example, refers to herself as an ‘Authoress’ as a more fancy and feminine version of it - though ‘Author’ itself is considered a gender-neutral term. They have a tendency to become fixated on making specific types of objects/creatures, and they become more and more powerful the more they create, though if they use their abilities too much too quickly, their bodies can begin to auto-cannibalize themselves similar to starvation in order to keep feeding their powers.
Realms - Miniature universes created by an Author’s birth, sometimes considered to be the Author’s twin. They are sentient to some extent, though are so different from most lifeforms that they cannot communicate aside from puppeteering creatures (usually Creations) to do their bidding. Their Author(s) keeps them stable, and if the only Author dies without picking a replacement, they do too. The majority of the story takes place in one of these Realms (exceptions being prequel short stories that take place on Earth).
Creations - Living creatures made by Authors to serve a specific role in their Realms. Creations are given a ‘purpose’ by their Author that forms the backbone of their identities, which can range from specific tasks they must fulfill to simply live however they choose. Aside from that, they can look like practically anything, and their mindsets can range dramatically from "exists only to perform this particular task with no individual personality to speak of" to "smarter than a human with a clear and defined sense of identity". Think of them as biological robots - some are closer to androids in sci-fi media, while others are more similar to roombas, but they're all classified under the same umbrella.
Breaks - Hive monsters that spawn in the void between worlds, meant to be one part training and one part punishment for Authors who break the Unspoken Rules (which are unspoken because no one really knows what they are). They can form pacts with Real creatures as well as Creations to grant them powers in exchange for the individual becoming the focal point of their hive mind, and want nothing more than to devour Realms from the insides out.
Life Force - The energy that keeps all living creatures alive. Humans are the baseline, with a reasonable amount of Life Force that can allow for bursts of incredible strength, speed and mental processing when in life-threatening situations; Creations have about half to three-quarters the Life Force of a human, as they typically do not need to ever use it and all of their Life Force must be provided by their Author when they're created; and Authors have the abilities they do because they have an abnormal amount of Life Force that only grows larger and larger the longer they live, and the ability to manipulate it at will. Life Force can only be drained by either using abilities that require Life Force, or by spending time in a universe that is not your own. If drained, the affected creature will grow more and more emaciated before beginning to decay alive.
CHARACTERS IN THE REALM/UNIVERSE 1:
(please note that even after all this time, a lot of these guys don’t have fully solid designs - I’m more of a writer than an artist and character designs don’t mean much when you’re not using a visual medium lol. I have at least vague ideas on how all of them look and I do want to give those ocs with less solid looks permanent designs in the future, but for now???? ehhhhhhhhhhhh I’d rather focus on the writing part lmao)
THE NEWCOMERS
Lydia
Age: 16 (nearly 17)
Role in the story: Protagonist
Appearance: Chubby girl with long, wavy blonde hair, warm-toned beige skin and blue eyes. Around 5'5-5'8. Wears a long, loose grey t-shirt with cut-out shoulders and a distinctive blue butterfly design with diamond-like wings on the bottom-left corner. This matches her prized necklace, which always hangs around her neck on a long chain, and her hairclip that pins the left side of her hair out of her eyes.
Rapid-fire personality info: -One of the two protagonists of the main story.
-Calm and friendly, always trying to see the best in others. Her life's motto is very much "hope for the best and prepare for the worst".
-Deeply committed to helping people, even at the expense of her own health - definitely fits the “paragon” archetype and will do anything if she thinks it’s for the good of those around her.
-Wanted to be a therapist someday so that she could improve peoples’ lives, and reads about psychology often in pursuit of that goal. She still wants to find a way to make use of her knowledge in her new situation, but isn’t sure how.
-Grew up moving from town to town after her mother passed away from a terminal illness; as such, she’s gotten very good at reading people and figuring out what makes them tick. (She’s not always as right about them as she thinks she is, though.)
-Feels her emotions intensely, and often cries when overwhelmed or scared, much to her own frustration.
-Can’t handle horror well at ALL, which makes it all the harder for her to adjust to her new life in the Realm. She never quite gets used to Alice’s side of the Realm, preferring to stick closer to the Soldier’s Camp.
-Just wants things to be okay and for everyone to be safe and sound. This is a much more complicated goal than it sounds, but by god is she determined to give it her best shot!
-Outside of reading about things like grief counseling and psychological disorders, she enjoys photography and doing little DIY projects to decorate her living space with; definitely the type to have one of those strings of Polaroids in her room that all the old aesthetic blogs back in 2013 loved.
-Has the ability to see the memories of others through her dreams. Big side effect is that whatever memory she brings up will be re-experienced by the memory’s owner while she does so, and considering almost everyone in the Realm has some sort of trauma, she needs to be careful what she makes them re-live. She also hates it in general because she really doesn’t want to breach her new friends’ privacy, but she doesn’t have a choice in the matter.
-Died in a car crash.
SINCLAIR HELLSPARK!
Age: 16
Role in the story: Protagonist
Appearance: Dresses more like they’re from an RPG than the same Earth Alice’s soldiers came from, or at least as close to that as they could get from the local thrift shop. (Dress for the world you want, not the world you have!) The most prominent part of their outfit is a long, slightly oversized brown leather trench coat that goes halfway down Sinclair’s calves, with a strip of red cloth pinned underneath the jacket’s collar roll to mimic a cape. The coat is left open to reveal a black t-shirt and black pants underneath, the latter being ragged at the bottom hems, with a pair of brown combat boots. (I could also see them drawing fake magic circles and runes and shit on the inside of their jacket or down the sides of their pants in gold fabric paint.) They wear a belt around their waist (unconnected to their pants) with a couple of satchels on it to store things, mostly small trinkets and snacks they’ve “borrowed” over time.
Rapid fire info: -One of the two protagonists of the main story.
-Boisterous, loud-mouthed, and generally seen as a pretty cheerful person, though they can also come across as a bit overwhelming and annoying without realizing; a large ham through and through.
-Grew up in a neglectful household and were never quite able to make friends. After a bit, they gave up on trying to get people to like them (kind of) (not really) (they tell themself that, anyway) and decided to just get real weird with it in a way they personally find cool.
-Likes to proclaim that they’re a powerful sorcerer, blessed by the spirit of a dragon to seek out the world’s oddities and protect the innocent with their powers and wit; they will threaten to curse people they don’t like and claim to cast blessings on people who are nice to them, though these never have any effect. Sinclair knows it’s bullshit but it’s FUN bullshit so they don’t plan to stop any time soon.
-Has a bit of Main Character Syndrome, fully believing that their life can and will play out like a story. They try to be genre-savvy in real life and have a tendency to assign character archetypes to people around them, no matter how little they fit that role. (For example, within an hour of meeting Lydia, Sinclair declares that she MUST be their rival.)
-Impulsive; they tend to leap before they look and don’t give enough thought as to how their actions might affect people around them. They’re prone to bouts of arrogance and can’t stand being underestimated.
-Genuinely wanted to get trapped in another world before ending up in the Realm, and are one of the few people to take to the Realm like a duck to water, though they quickly learn to be careful what they wish for.
-LOVES cryptozoology and parapsychology; their back-up dream if they didn’t get isekai’d was to start a cryptid-hunting TV show. They start off as sort of a bit of an overbearing fan towards Gamma, since he’s a figure in local urban legends where Sinclair once lived and they’re overjoyed to learn he’s actually real.
-Sinclair may be cringe but Sinclair is free.
-Died in a car crash.
ALICE’S INNER CIRCLE (+ Mikayla)
Alice
Age: somewhere around 14
Role in the story: Secondary character; an integral figure in the backstory
Appearance: Takes the form of an adorable young girl the majority of the time, with skin that both looks and feels oddly reminiscent of candle wax, owlish brown eyes and straight black hair that falls to her waist. She wears an opulent, knee-length dress reminiscent of a kid’s princess/queen costume. It has a square neckline, puffed sleeves with strips of brown fabric falling to her wrists, corset lacing in the shape of a heart on her stomach, a grey sash tied around her waist in a bow on her back, and brown skirt split in the center to reveal layers of translucent yellow fabric, surrounded by gold embroidery. Sometimes, Alice's soldiers have claimed to see her hair or pieces of her outfit move on their own. This is somehow one of the least weird things about her.
Rapid fire info: -Created the Realm and has god-like powers of reality-warping and creation; she refuses to let anyone forget either of these facts.
-Childish, and acts either cheerful or annoyed about 90% of the time.
-Callous and selfish, often disregarding human suffering as ‘not her problem’ despite being one of the very few people actively bringing them to her world in the first place; generally dislikes humans and especially adults (outside of Gamma, who looks and behaves like one), refusing to allow them into her home; she’d likely do this for all humans if not for the current situation.
-The only person she seems to care about besides herself is Gamma, owing to the long history the two share together and the deep trust that’s formed as a result, which tends to surprise people thanks to the two of them seeming like complete opposites. Gamma helps Alice work through her ideas and points out flaws in her plans, especially when it comes to aspects of humanity Alice is blind to; in return, Alice makes Gamma things she thinks will make him happy and helps to keep him grounded on difficult days, even if she doesn’t fully understand what he’s going through.
-Experiments with her powers for fun, with her most common experiment being the creation of a living creature without really paying attention and then taking it apart while it’s still alive to see what she got wrong. (This is essentially the Author equivalent of life drawing. Still more gruesome than it needs to be, though!)
-Hates admitting things that she sees as a blight on her reputation as an Author (i.e. caring about people, feeling emotions other than joy and rage, wanting to do things other than create, being wrong, etc.), as she takes great pride in her status.
-Morphs into a much less friendly looking version of herself when pissed off, and is prone to having her skin melt like she’s a wax figure when sufficiently annoyed. Even in her ‘normal’ form, her skin is noticeably cold, as though she’s a living corpse, and she often grins with a few more teeth than humans should have.
-She’s basically a weird little girl who was given god-like powers by chance and then let loose on the multiverse.
-If she dies, something terrible will happen…
Mikayla
Age: Has existed for 4 years (behaves and is generally treated like she’s in her late teens/early twenties)
Role in the story: Primary antagonist; an integral figure in the backstory
Appearance: Has replaced her face with a white, porcelain mask decorated with red swirls, and does not appear to have any hair. Her skin tone matches Alice’s - pale like candle wax - though it’s mostly covered by a long, hooded, ivory cloak and the black, veined bodysuit underneath that holds her body together as she regenerates. She’s probably around 5'8-5'10.
Rapid fire info: -Alice’s Creation, meant to be the perfect friend; unfortunately, to Alice this meant ‘basically a carbon copy of myself but taller’, which wound up backfiring horribly once Mikayla learned that she didn’t share Alice’s level of control over the Realm while still sharing Alice’s massive ego.
-Cut off her face to seal her pact with the Breaks, who gave her regenerative powers and limited ability to use portals; now wears a porcelain mask as a replacement face, and uses her cloak to mask her limbs as they regrow.
-Extremely manipulative, and does not take being told “no” well; she’s a massive control freak and tends to lash out without remorse when someone goes against her wishes.
-Switches personas on a whim, going from calm and collected to rage-fueled screaming on a hair trigger when she thinks it will keep people in line. She's very unpredictable as a result, and her soldiers walk on eggshells around her in a vain attempt to keep her from lashing out at them.
-Has a personal grudge against Alice, since Mikayla views Alice simply being alive as both a threat and an insult, and Gamma, since he made many attempts to stop her from achieving her goal to kill Alice. As such, she will do whatever she can to torment and torture them - especially Gamma, as a punishment for him not joining her mutiny.
-She’s basically the most destructive kind of sadism in humanoid form. Just an awful person who takes pleasure in hurting anyone she views as a potential enemy - including those on her own side, if she thinks it will keep them under her thumb.
-Has died at least three times before the main story starts. Unfortunately, this hasn’t stopped her.
Gamma
Age: Has existed for around 8 years (behaves and is generally treated like an adult)
Role in the story: Deuteragonist; a mentor figure for Sinclair; an integral figure in the backstory
Appearance: Very tall (around 6'7-6'10), extremely pale (to the point where other characters’ narrations have remarked he looks like he’s never gone out in the sun in his life), and muscular by necessity for his job. Has black hair that’s always slicked back to his head and golden eyes that never blink with noticeable dark circles underneath. Wears a black suit with a white dress shirt and golden tie underneath. While the suit repairs itself after fights, the lapels and wrists of his sleeves are permanently tattered due to his jacket being a prototype by Alice (Alice could make him a better one now, but he got attached to the original, much to Alice’s chagrin - it’s like a family member hanging an old piece of art you did in high school in their living room to her). His skin on his arms and legs is a slightly different shade from the skin on his head and torso.
Rapid fire info: -A Creation whose guiding purpose is to protect Alice and her Realm; this quickly extended to the human soldiers once he learned how fragile they truly were. He’s tasked himself with keeping an eye on Alice’s other guards to make sure they’re doing their jobs properly, too.
-Also in charge of the transportation of the dead teenagers from their world to the Realm. Most of the soldiers don’t like associating with him due to this fact, and a good chunk of them outright despise him for being the one to directly trap them in this place.
-Reserved, serious, and excessively secretive. That last part is largely because he’s not one hundred percent sure what does and does not unnerve humans, and so he tends to hide information he thinks might cause them distress, even if it ends up being something benign.
-Constantly researching things like anthropology, sociology, psychology and history just for fun, since he finds Earth absolutely fascinating. It’s basically an alien planet to him, and he has a deep respect for its inhabitants. Alice has joked on occasion that he’d start a human fanclub “if he had ten percent less dignity and anyone who’d join it.”
-One of the few people Alice views as something close to an equal, which is more than anybody else can say. This is due to their long history together, which according to Gamma, includes her saving his life numerous times, and led to him becoming her bodyguard to return the favour.
-Has been through Some Shit before the wars even began, and his mental health is incredibly poor as a result; he blames himself whenever things go wrong in the Realm out of reflex, tends to have extreme fight-or-flight responses to perceived threats, has a self-esteem in the negatives and copes by being almost fanatically devoted to his given role compared to Alice’s other guards. Most notably, he seems to fall into extreme panic when surrounded by the colour teal…
-Seems to have some odd abilities that it’s assumed Alice gave him, since he’s much stronger than a normal human and has a tendency to know things he really has no right knowing (the latter is thanks to him constantly hearing the thoughts of everyone around him; it’s less of a power to him and more like a sense. He fully believed this was a Normal Human Experience for most of his life, and when he learned the humans weren’t letting him read their thoughts willingly, it freaked him out badly enough that he suppressed this ability as best as he could manage, to the point where all he hears now are muted whispers unless he directly ‘tunes in’.)
-Is absolutely bewildered by Sinclair not only tolerating him but actually seeming to enjoy his presence, and he warms up to them over the course of the story.
-this man has so much going on with him I swear to fuck. he's kind of the default protagonist for anything taking place before Lydia and Sinclair show up on the timeline, and he’ll probably be in a LOT of the prompt fills lmao
-Hasn’t died yet, despite the universe’s best attempts.
ALICE'S SOLDIERS
Cynthia
Age: 17
Role in the story: Secondary character, somewhat of a mentor figure for Lydia and Sinclair; an integral figure in the backstory
Appearance: No solid outfit design just yet. (Her old outfit was designed when I was around 14 years old and included a t-shirt that said ’#SWAG’ on it. I wish I was fucking joking.) What I know for now is she has olive-toned skin and a bob hair cut, dyed a dark blue/indigo, along with grey, almost silver eyes. She likely has a muscular build out of necessity, and probably wears something simple and easy to move in in case of a surprise attack.
Rapid fire info: -Co-leader of the Soldier’s Camp; also one of the very first humans in the Realm.
-Used to be somewhat snarky with a heart of gold shining through, but the massacre that was the First Break War made her withdraw to the point that she’s become extremely stoic.
-Asked Alice to remove her memories of her past life during the First Break War so they wouldn’t hold her back; some suspect Alice took a little more than just that.
-Hard to read, and comes off as cold to most people, only really opening up to Dylan since they went through the First Break War together, and forged a deep trust as a result. She’s usually the one to push him to go and rest when he starts putting too much on his shoulders (and he’s usually quick to point out how hypocritical it is for her of all people to say this, lmao)
-Focuses mostly on strategy, supplies and upkeep of the camp while Dylan takes care of the human element. Extremely practical and a bit of a workaholic, to the point of requesting a murphy bed for her bedroom so she could use it as an office (with her reasoning being, “there’s no point in having two separate rooms when one could serve the same purpose.”).
-Is responsible for multiple quality of life features for the Camp in some way, including walkie-talkies the soldiers can use to warn everyone of potential attacks and repurposing some areas of the under-populated camp to be for storage of emergency supplies. Spends much of her time considering what she could request to improve things further.
-Almost all the soldiers see her as the Realm’s ultimate authority figure due to her strict nature - considering Dylan’s more relaxed attitude and Alice being… well, Alice - though some (like Morgan and Sydney) aren’t afraid to talk back to her if they feel like it.
-Deeply despises Gamma for reasons even she doesn’t fully understand; it seems to stem from the time right before she got her mind-wipe. He’s the only person she’ll actively lash out against, and he never so much as protests.
-Has a love of music, and if she isn’t busy working to make sure the camp has everything it needs to keep everyone happy and healthy, she can typically be found in her room, listening to music on a pair of headphones and tuning out the world. (Though, naturally, she keeps her walkie-talkie on her at all times in case of emergencies.)
-Her cause of death is unknown, though it’s assumed she was stabbed or impaled in some way due to her death scar (a large, jagged cut just below her ribcage).
Dylan
Age: 18
Role in the story: Secondary character, mentor figure for Lydia
Appearance: No solid design just yet. What I know for now is that he has sepia/brown skin, short hair, and mostly wears a faded blue hoodie over a black t-shirt and a pair of navy blue jeans. (Outfit might change with time)
Rapid fire info: -Co-leader of the Soldier’s Camp.
-Generally a relaxed, optimistic person who does his best to keep the morale of the camp high; he’s basically what Lydia wishes she could be, and he quickly takes her under his wing once he realizes how much she reminds him of both himself and Cynthia when they first arrived.
-Helps newcomers get settled in the Camp, and acts as mediator for disagreements; some joke that he’s essentially the camp’s HR guy, or sarcastically call him the “Camp’s Counselor”. Most of the younger members look up to him like an older brother, and it’s a role he’s happily taken to (largely as a way to cope with missing his family from Earth deeply - especially his younger sister, Dawn, who he was once very close with).
-Doesn’t talk about his own problems much to avoid troubling people, though most are aware that he gets severe anxiety upon hearing gunshots and will warn him if a movie or game will contain them. Everyone in the camp thinks he came out of the First Break War unscathed because of this, since he doesn't really show any signs of trauma from it. He absolutely did not.
-One of the few who spoke with Gamma before they died; as such, he’s one of the few soldiers who isn’t all that intimidated by his presence, and often goes to speak with Alice and Gamma on the camp’s behalf. One of his weekly chores is to just gather everyone’s requests and bring them to Alice’s Manor, since he’s the only one willing to do it.
-Used to be in the swim team in his school and played in a band with his two best friends - Tyler and Kieran - since the beginning of high school (he did guitar and backup vocals). He was also often among the top five highest-scoring students in many of his classes. Unfortunately, most of these skills and achievements are completely useless in the Realm, much to his chagrin.
-Still enjoys playing the guitar and regularly requests sheet music to learn new songs in his free time, as well as coming up with new ones on his own. Sometimes, he plays for Cynthia while they’re relaxing. He knows all of her favourite songs by heart at this point.
-Died in a school shooting.
Morgan
Age: 18
Role in the story: Secondary character
Rapid fire info: -Medic for the Soldier’s Camp
Appearance: Has albinism, so her hair is a very pale grey (long, but often pulled back into a bun, with lash-grazing bangs), her skin is pale and pinkish, and her eyes are red (which is actually very uncommon for people with albinism, but considering her spite towards Alice… Yeah, they weren’t always that colour). She’s noticeably tall compared to the others - probably around 5'10 - 6'1. She wears a plain white t-shirt with pale grey jeans under a long, burgundy cardigan that falls to the back of her knees in a silhouette similar to a lab coat. Her fingers and lips are permanently discolored from her death, stuck a greyish-blue.
Rapid-fire personality info: -Both a soldier and the senior of the camp’s two medics; she wants to give up her medical duties to stick to solely fighting instead, but she can’t bring herself to dump those responsibilities solely on Trinity’s shoulders.
-Had a rough upbringing where she was put under constant pressure to succeed that burnt her out, and the First Break War killed the last remnants of any optimism Morgan once had; now, she’s resentful towards the world and everyone in it for her shitty circumstances, lashing out at anyone who dares come close to her when she’s in a bad mood (which she nearly always is).
-Known for her sharp tongue, harsh criticisms of others, and tendency to estimate to newcomers’ faces how long she thinks they’ll live - usually no longer than a month - giving her a reputation for being cold and cruel. The twins have nicknamed her “The Ice Queen” because of this.
-At the same time, she is the most skilled soldier the Realm has, considering her incredible combat skill and her high amount of medical knowledge, and she works tirelessly to maintain that status; a perfectionist to her core, Morgan cannot stand being “only” second best.
-Has an ongoing feud with Sydney due to their clashing worldviews - Morgan believing Sydney’s a complete idiot who’s destined to get herself (and possibly others) killed with her thrill-seeking, Sydney believing Morgan’s a killjoy who’s dead set on making a shitty situation even shittier, especially for the newcomers who are already in an incredibly stressful position. Neither are entirely wrong, but neither are entirely right either.
-Is unlikely friends with Trinity, due to Morgan appreciating her dedication to her unwanted role and far better bedside manners, and Morgan does her best to keep her abrasive side to a minimum around Trinity to keep the kid from getting scared of her. Every day, Morgan resents the fact that Trinity ended up in the Realm at all, and she’ll do whatever it takes to keep her from suffering any more than she already has. (There might be a little projection happening there...)
-Isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty if it ends the war faster; to Morgan, the ends ALWAYS justify the means, especially if that end is a future where no one in the camp needs to suffer anymore.
-In what little downtime she allows herself, Morgan can usually be found reading fantasy novels in the camp’s library. Every now and again she’ll also paint with Trinity, if the kid invites her.
-Died of hypothermia
Sydney
Age: 16
Role in the story: Secondary character
Appearance: Has sort of amber-toned skin that’s patched with burn scars from her death, most prominently covering much of the right side of her head and almost the entirety of her hands and forearms. Since the right side of her head can’t grow much hair anymore, her short brown hair is styled into a comb-over, and she has light brown, orange-toned eyes. Wears a black leather jacket over a yellow shirt (which likely has some sort of flame pattern on it that gets covered up by the jacket) and shorts with spiked studs on the left side, with purposefully-ripped black leggings underneath.
Rapid fire info: -A former delinquent with a love of fire who fights Breaks with a nailbat (and occasionally flamethrowers) for the thrill of it all.
-The most Chaotic Good member of the team by far; she doesn’t give a shit about any rules if it means having a great time with her friends. She's decided that if she's stuck in a bad situation, then she's gonna have fun with it and live each day like it's her last.
-Has the most prominent death-scars of any of Alice’s soldiers, and while she was pretty self-conscious of them when she first arrived, she doesn’t really care anymore, proudly wearing outfits that have them on full display. It’s half posturing to make herself seem more badass, and half Sydney trying to show newcomers that their scars are nothing to feel ashamed of.
-An adrenaline junkie at heart. When there aren’t enough Breaks to fight, Sydney will start doing stupid stunts to get the same rush, much to Morgan’s intense chagrin; this directly led to their ongoing animosity in the Main Story.
-Helps train newcomers alongside Dylan; newcomers often see her as a cool big sister figure, but don’t tend to look up to her as much as they look up to Dylan, thanks to Sydney discouraging it and being far more irresponsible in general.
-She’s kind of the “if I just keep moving at all times then my problems can never catch me!!” type, and tries not to dwell on bad situations any longer than it takes for her to make a shitty joke about them.
-Has always had a certain love for fire, but the stressors of the Realm have turned it into honest pyromania; it’s well-known that when Sydney’s under a lot of stress or incredibly pissed off, she’ll gather random shit and start a bonfire somewhere out in the forest. She is single-handedly responsible for Alice forest-fire-proofing the woods around the camp.
-Is good friends with Troy and Bianca, and she often shirks her duties to hang out with them. They can often be found either in the Main Hall’s living room area watching movies, or in the Hall’s hidden rec room playing different party games with them. (Sydney adores action movies and fighting games the most, along with FPS games.)
-Died in a house fire.
Trinity
Age: 13
Role in the story: Secondary character
Appearance: Looks even younger than her age, with many newcomers mistaking her for being 10 or 11. Has fawn, freckled skin, and dirty blonde hair that’s always pulled into a tight braid over her shoulder, along with deep green eyes. Wears a short/cuffed-sleeve, green button-up shirt with a darker green scarf covering her entire neck, and khaki shorts with cuffs that just barely scrape the tops of her knees.
Rapid fire info: -A girl who turned out to be a medical prodigy, brought into the Realm when they needed medics most - which is all very convenient, isn’t it? :) As of the 'present day’ in story, she’s the junior of the two medics.
-Extremely timid around people - especially strangers - due to a history of severe bullying; it can take a newcomer weeks to hear her voice for the first time. However, she takes comfort in helping others and is prone to showing a slightly more confident side of herself when doing her job due to the sense of agency it provides her.
-Very self conscious of the bruise on her neck left by her death, often hiding it with a green scarf that also acts as something of a comfort item to her.
-Since she’s easily the youngest and most fragile member of the camp, all of Alice’s soldiers are extremely protective of her, doing whatever they can to keep her away from danger - Morgan especially so, to the point where she’s known to push Trinity away from people who may be dying so that Trinity doesn’t blame herself later if they do pass on.
-Tries to push Morgan to be less of a jerk to everyone around her; this works, but only when Trinity’s around, much to Trinity’s chagrin. Still, Trinity hopes that one day, Morgan can find some semblance of happiness, or at least peace.
-When she’s not in the infirmary, Trinity can be found either in her cabin painting, or in the greenhouse with her sketchbook. Natural landscapes and plants are her favourite subjects, and working on art helps to soothe her nerves. She’s pretty good at it for her age, too! Morgan’s cabin is full of her artwork, and she’s also given a couple pieces to Dylan and the twins.
-Died after falling out of a tree.
Troy
Age: 15
Role in the story: Secondary character
Appearance: I’ll be honest, I have basically nothing for this kid. I know he probably has shaggy ginger hair, and pale, freckled skin. He’s also probably pretty scrawny. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got for now. I kind of just imagine him as your average freshman tbh, lol
Rapid fire info: -Bianca’s twin brother
-The Realm’s only marksman, due to both how close-quarters Break combat tends to be, and due to Alice not wanting to constantly be using her energy to create ammo (and also to limit the amount of people who can kill her from long-range, should that ever become a problem). He uses specially-made airsoft guns that shoot pellets containing an Alice-made substance; it’s harmless towards humans with a sedative effect after around three to five shots, but an extremely potent acid when used on Breaks. This is largely due to the other soldiers fighting with melee weapons, along with one of their best fighters (Dylan) having trauma surrounding firearms; these guns were specifically made to look and sound different enough that they don’t set off any triggers for him while still being effective long-range weapons, though they do still make Dylan nervous to be around.
-Troy prefers machines and weapons to people; he can often be found tinkering with various devices around the camp or maintaining his guns to ensure they’re in tip-top shape. Meanwhile, he's often a bit awkward around people, especially those he's unfamiliar with, stumbling on his words and overthinking everything he says.
-The Resident Gamer of the group, with a particular love for retro arcade games. The most likely place to find him is in the camp’s hidden rec room, trying again and again to beat the nigh-impossible high scores Alice sets on each of the arcade cabinets when she makes them. He’s also a fan of FPSes and fighting games, and he and Sydney can spend hours competing to see which of them is the best.
-Has a bit of social anxiety not helped by Bianca pushing people away from the two of them, nor the fact that they were killed by a classmate who seemed perfectly harmless and friendly at first, giving him some trust issues that he keeps firmly under wraps.
-Knows he’s a bit boring compared to his sister and their best friend (Sydney), and it bothers him constantly, but he does his best not to let it show. He cares about both of them deeply in spite of this, especially Bianca - despite everything that's happened, she's still the closest person in his life.
-Knows that Bianca has issues due to their deaths, but doesn’t know just how bad those issues are, nor how to properly help her with them; he just does his best to be there for her and hopes it’s enough. (It’s not.)
-Generally just wants to make the best of the shitty situation he and his sister have been dropped in and stop the wars for good.
-Died by being stabbed three times in the chest.
Bianca
Age: 15
Role in the story: Secondary character
Appearance: Has shoulder-length, ginger hair often pulled into two short pigtails, along with pale, freckled skin and green eyes. Wears a large headbow shaped like a bat, along with a short-sleeved, almost retro-looking, knee-length, plain black dress with a red belt. The belt holds a large pocket knife, as well as a small sack full of throwing knives, in case of an emergency.
Rapid fire info: -Troy’s twin sister
-She and Troy were killed in the same incident - one that Bianca feels responsible for, as she’s the one who trusted their killer the most. Not only that, but she was forced to watch her brother die while being helpless to do anything to stop it. This has led her to become severely over-protective of Troy and extremely paranoid that anyone around them could turn out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing without warning.
-Acts cheerful and air-headed around other members of the camp despite this; while part of it is a ploy to get people to underestimate her, it’s mostly genuine - a bit of her old self peeking through the cracks.
-Has a fixation on knives as a result of her death, seeing them as something powerful, but only as long as they’re in her hands. She’s even been known to threaten people she sees as threats to Troy at knifepoint, though she’s never followed through when called on her bluff. If anyone else wields a knife against her, she panics, sometimes even to the point of passing out.
-Came to trust Sydney after one such incident, where Sydney made it crystal clear to Bianca that she wasn’t about to hurt either of the twins. Looks up to the older soldier quite a bit, and she’s the only person Bianca full-heartedly trusts to be alone with Troy.
-Was just beginning to really experiment with aesthetics when she died, and while keeping her brother around is her number-one priority, she loves to DIY new decorations for her cabin and often requests different clothing from Alice.
-Died by being stabbed multiple times in the abdomen.
MIKAYLA'S SOLDIERS
Dawn
Age: 18
Role in the story: Secondary antagonist
Appearance: I don’t have much for her just yet. What I know for now is that she has sepia/brown skin, eyes that are so dark brown they’re nearly black, has long hair tied into several braids tucked into a ponytail, and probably wears entirely black. I like the idea of her wearing a caplet of some kind.
Rapid-fire info: -Mikayla’s first success in creating a ‘general’ for her army, through a torturous process that involved trapping Dawn in a series of ever-worsening nightmares that only Mikayla’s intervention would save her from. (Fun fact! This is heavily inspired by a pixel animation on YouTube called Marenol, as well as the song O Light by KikuoHana.)
-Much like Cynthia, her experiences have left her severely withdrawn and seemingly emotionless, though Dawn is much more apathetic and blunt. She’s become a woman of few words, only speaking in short, clipped sentences when necessary.
-Has grown resentful of her brother, Dylan, as after his death she felt he had to fill his shoes to keep her family happy; considering that Dylan was naturally gifted in a lot of different areas, this led to Dawn spiraling when she couldn’t live up to those same lofty expectations.
-Half-believes Mikayla when she says the Soldier’s Camp is inhabited by Alice’s Creations and not real humans; as such, Dawn can be ruthless and cunning on the battlefield, though she hesitates to actually kill anyone.
-Is deeply terrified of Mikayla, largely because she knows full well that Mikayla could trap her back in the looping nightmares at any point if she messes up.
-Once each sibling learns that the other is in the Realm, they’re gonna be in for a rough time…
-I don't have much for her yet, largely because I really wasn't sure what to do with her before this rewrite.
-Committed suicide.
The Oracle
Age: 17
Role in the story: Secondary antagonist/character
Appearance: A malnourished girl with unruly brown hair who wears a long white nightgown at all times. Her body is wrapped with bandages, the most notable of which being around her eyes; taking the facial bandages off is not recommended, as it typically results in the Oracle shrieking until they’re returned.
Rapid-fire info: -A failed experiment of Mikayla’s to get a human to use Life Force the way an Author can, largely in order to create someone capable of seeing into the future. In some ways, she did succeed, though she absolutely destroyed the Oracle’s mind in the process.
-The Oracle has lost all sense of self, forgetting her past life entirely and becoming incapable of truly perceiving the present when she isn’t being directly spoken to. As a meager form of coping, the Oracle has dedicated herself entirely to the idea of ‘destiny’, viewing it almost like a god.
-Seems to view Lydia as a kindred spirit, which freaks Lydia out a bit. It makes her worry that her own powers could end up leaving her in a similar state (though that’s largely because Lydia doesn’t know what exactly led to the Oracle’s powers).
-There isn’t too much to say about the Oracle, largely thanks to her playing a small role in the story and her lacking much in the way of personal agency for much of it due to her circumstances.
-Cause of death unknown; assumed to be suicide.
ALICE’S TEAM OF GUARDS:
The Serpent
Age: Has been around for about three years.
Role in the story: Basically set dressing lol
Appearance: A massive snake made of dark grey stone, about twenty feet long, with a human-like hand where the tip of its tail should be that it uses to hold onto the door to Alice’s Garden. It has two curved horns on the top of its head and a mouth full of sharp, stalactite-esque teeth. Its eyes glow different colours based on the feedback it's received; in its neutral state they’re light purple, when a riddle has been answered correctly they glow red (because Alice wanted to fuck with people, basically), and when someone has failed its test they glow bright green.
Rapid-fire info: -A living security system Alice set up over the door to her manor. At first, the Serpent only tested a creature’s ability to speak before allowing them passage, but Mikayla proceeded to alter the Breaks so a few could mimic human speech, so Alice altered it to tell riddles instead. If you fail three times, you’re eaten alive, and while it does slowly assimilate its victims into the raw meat that makes up its insides, any unfortunate human consumed would die of dehydration due to how long this process takes. Thankfully, Alice can typically figure out if a human’s been eaten within a day or so, and will usually get the Serpent to spit them out. She won’t help with the acid burns, though - that’s not her problem as far as she’s concerned.
-Largely lacks a personality, as it doesn’t require it to do its job. However, it does seem to have some opinions, as it respects Gamma quite a bit as the lead guard and has a mild distaste for the gargoyles’ antics.
-Will gladly answer questions asked to it (once its riddle is solved, of course), though its answers can be cryptic and lead to even further questions.
-Is the main reason Alice’s soldiers really don’t like visiting her manor, since it freaks them the hell out (and to be fair, the threat of being eaten alive would do that to most people).
The Gargoyles (El and Ar)
Age: About three years old.
Role in the story: Basically set dressing lol
Appearance: They basically just look like dragon-esque gargoyles, made of the same grey stone as the Serpent, that are about the size of a large dog. Each has gemstones for eyes, with El’s being sapphires and Ar’s being rubies. (Fun fact! These two were inspired by two identical lion statues my grandma has outside of her house, framing her front door, though the irl statues are MUCH smaller than the gargoyles.)
Rapid-fire info: -Created to guard Alice’s Manor personally once the human soldiers got their own camp, as well as clean up the mess left behind after Break attacks. They have pedestals outside of the Manor’s front door - El sits on the left, Ar sits on the right.
-Absolutely inseparable, mostly because these two have a single brain cell to share between the both of them and it spends all its time thinking about meat. They have a penchant for speaking in unison and finishing one another's sentences.
-Both of them have identical, almost manic personalities, and it would be impossible to tell one apart from the other if not for their differing eye colours.
-They’re basically the Realm’s janitors, eating leftover Break flesh once attacks finish to keep the Realm (and especially the Soldier’s Camp) nice and clean. The humans aren’t big fans of them, due to their winning personalities, and Gamma shares this opinion, largely thanks to the two of them shirking their duties more often than not to go hunting in the woods together. (Alice thinks they’re funny little guys, though.) Fortunately, they’ve been specifically programmed to find the taste of human flesh repulsive.
-The best way I can describe them is that they have seagull vibes. They’re like if you made a seagull the size of a dog and gave it the ability to speak.
Diver
Age: Less than a year old
Role in the story: Basically set dressing lol
Appearance: Its head is a massive, seven-foot-tall brass antique diving helmet, from which three immense tendrils made of some sort of black sludge protrude. It has no sensory organs to speak of, but it seems to be able to navigate just fine, even getting a bit too close to humans it gets curious about as if to get a better look at them.
Rapid-fire info: -Alice originally created this funky thing as an experiment, then liked it so much she gave it its own fountain in her backyard and made it a guard.
-Has about the same mental capacity as a toddler, and is prone to doing odd things when it gets curious about something; is known to climb on top of the Manor’s roof and stretching up as tall as it can in order to see outside of the walls surrounding it, which is mostly just seen as a nuisance.
-It still has the craving for Break flesh, like most of its carnivorous peers. It can absorb any organic material it wants through its sludge, though it seems to be able to choose what it does and does not want to assimilate into itself, as it doesn’t consume things like grass by moving over it.
-It isn’t allowed outside of the Manor’s walls like the gargoyles are - largely because Gamma fears it might consume a human if given the opportunity and wants to keep a close eye on any interactions it might have with them, just in case - and as such, the other guards need to regularly bring it Break flesh to feed on. (Something the gargoyles like to “forget” to do so they can keep it all for themselves.)
Blitz
Age: Has existed for a little over eight years
Role in the story: Basically set dressing lol
Appearance: A mis-match of parts from different Earth animals, with the body and fur of an adolescent black lab that hasn’t quite grown into their paws yet, a feline head, a fox’s tail and large ears similar to a lop-eared rabbit’s. The tips of his tail and ears are white, as if they were dipped in white paint. Blitz also has a small clock embedded in his forehead (and maybe on his shoulders and flanks as well, haven’t decided yet), and through the gears you can catch glimpses of his brain.
Rapid-fire info: -Calling Blitz a ‘guard’ is a bit of a misnomer, but he doesn’t really fit in any other category (aside from Alice’s Inner Circle, but it felt misleading to put him above Cynthia considering his unimportance to the narrative); he’s the first permanent Creation Alice ever made, and he’s around largely to be a companion creature, though he’s really just chilling.
-Has no tongue (Alice got so caught up making sure the rest of him was perfect that he gained consciousness without one), so he’s easily mistaken to be more animalistic than he is by the humans, but he’s really got the mind of a small child and can communicate telepathically with Alice and all of her Creations with ease. Alice could make him a tongue, and has offered in the past, but Blitz prefers this.
-Has not aged physically or mentally since his creation because he simply does not want to. Because of this, Gamma treats him like a beloved younger sibling despite Blitz technically being older than him by several months, even reading the little guy bedtime stories regularly. The affection is mutual, as Blitz admires his ‘Big Brother’ a whole lot. (Enough that Blitz uses he/him pronouns purely because Gamma does and Blitz thinks Gamma’s cool.)
-Blitz is almost as curious about the humans as Gamma is, mostly out of childish wonder at these strange new beasts in his home, but Alice and Gamma won’t let him go outside any further than the Manor’s gardens since he’d be easy Break food. He’s very happy in the rare times that humans do come and visit.
Some Random Timeline Bullshit:
-Completely desensitized to gore and the like thanks to spending most of his time around Alice ever since he was made, but does get extremely sad when one of the humans or one of the guards die; he doesn’t fully get the concept of death, but he understands it just enough to know that it means he's never gonna see someone again.
-Quite literally exists to sit around being cute. He’s very good at it!!
Order of Arrival To The Realm: Cynthia (4.5 years before the main story (BMS)) -> Dylan (4 years BMS) -> Morgan (3.5-4 years BMS) -> Sydney (3 years BMS) -> Trinity (2.5 years BMS) -> Bianca + Troy (6-8 months BMS) -> Lydia + Sinclair (start of main story)
The First Break War happened around four years before the main story, lasting about a year and leading to the deaths of almost a hundred people. The Second Break War happened around a year and a half before the main story, lasting around six to eight months and leading to the deaths of a little over a dozen people.
#Universe 1#The Gang's All Here#I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAA-#I've been working on this for a little bit now and it was ALMOST completely formatted and ready to go last night#but then I had to go to bed for work.... once again my employment stands between me and my creative ambitions#but!!! here we are!!! now with like. double the characters.#honestly the best part of this to me is that it highlights that Gamma's weird as hell to the humans' side of the Realm#whereas on his side he's is the most normal person around by a fucking LANDSLIDE#also the header for Sinclair's section is just for fun lmao. like... every time they introduce themself in story it's the loudest shit#they monologue and everything and it makes me grin every time#so it just felt fitting#anyways!! yeah!! if you guys have any questions just let me know!!! I love talking about these funky fellas#gonna double-check this later just to make sure everything looks fine with my blog theme as well as replace the info page#but I'm gonna keep the old version up in post form for archival purposes!!#might reblog this in the future with more info on locations and stuff. but this is already enough of an info dump adhfgahjksgdfkjhas
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