#she just chooses the most emotionally appealing answer to everything
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nerdgirlnarrates · 2 months ago
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My mom is talking about how we “need to hear both sides of the vaccine debate,” and I feel like I’m gonna fucking throw up. She doesn’t understand why I’m mad at her, and I’m like what’s the nice way to say your viewpoint is disgusting and dangerous. That I never thought you could be this stupid. That I don’t know how to be around you when you want to undo everything I want to do for people in my life.
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sweatertheman · 10 months ago
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to me, a really emotionally effective suselle denial is worth more than 10 suselles, because itd do wonders for noelle's arc, pull the themes of rejecting fate into focus, and illustrate a great point about how we play matchmaker with these characters, and how everyone else does too.
literally everyone seems to be gunning for susie and noelle to end up together, but the one person whose feelings about this pairing we've been ignoring, and the one person whose feelings actually matter, is susie! no one gave her a choice here! noelle didn't give susie a choice, she's incredibly possessive of susie and feels like she is owed information about susie, which she can then use to get susie to like her. noelle won't stop until susie is hers. ralsei never asked susie if she enjoyed her ferris wheel ride, or how she felt about noelle, he just watched from a distance and assumed how she felt, because it suits his deterministic worldview. rudy never asked susie if she wanted to go out with noelle, iirc, he just assumed she would say yes, because he loves noelle, and wants noelle to be happy. everyone else is just imposing roles onto susie, the same as they always have!
and while in the real world, having a gay lover is an act of defiance against oppressive social norms, in the world of deltarune, its the opposite! no one is telling her she can't, and everyone wants her to (with the exception of catti, and the couple asshole classmates). even if susie DOES have feelings for noelle, those feelings are sullied by the fact that everyone is still removing her agency, STILL telling her who she is and isn't allowed to be! would you still like your partner if you learned they had done everything in their power to make sure you would end up with them? obsessively collecting information on you in order to seem more appealing, constructing situations for you to meet up in a way where it seems organic, trying to get closer to you by any means necessary? i don't think susie would.
the thing susie seems to value most out of anything is her own agency in choosing what she gets to do, and how she gets to do it. no societal norm, social convention, narrative trope or gameplay mechanic stands in her way of choosing what she wants to do. she won't let you take her armor off unless you give her something else. when you give her a more powerful weapon, she won't accept a weaker one. she's too good for that. susie can dance on her own if she wants, she isn't stupid. it's not fair that kris gets to make all the choices, so its her turn now. heal prayer is boring, so she makes up her own spell. she challenges the idea that darkners are a slave race because she wouldn't want to be complicit in such a system. she believes they should be free to make their own choices. in what world would a person who values freedom above all be happy knowing that their partner wasn't going to let them make their own choice? this isn't even a question of whether or not susie likes noelle, its a question of if susie would be okay knowing that noelle feels, however unconsciously, as if susie belongs to her in some way. and i believe the answer is no.
and this rejection would hurt regardless of if susie liked noelle back, because we do like noelle, flawed as she is. and that rejection forces noelle to change in some way. either she accepts that susie's freedom to choose means the freedom not to be with her, or she doubles down and tries to win her over. she doesn't get what she wants, so she has to choose to get better and start seeing susie as a person, and not merely an idol, or a fantasy, or she has to choose to get worse, and cling onto susie harder.
my rejection of suselle is only somewhat about susie's feelings towards noelle, and is mostly about susie's freedom to not have those feelings, a freedom which is being violated by the "narrative" she exists in, the "Legend of DELTA RUNE"
she deserves a choice, and when the person in question, noelle, doesn't seem to care about how she feels, and only wants susie to be hers, i think she'll choose no, even if she did really like noelle. maybe even especially if she really liked noelle. people talk about how betrayed susie will feel learning kris is possessed and darkners are objects, but what about when she learns noelle was willing to change herself to be whatever susie wants, was willing to treat friends poorly, to almost stalk her, just to make her hers? would she be able to trust her feelings for noelle learning that it was all out of her control, that she hadn't been given a choice?
this isn't even to say they won't end up together in the end. its just to say it can't be like this. it cant be with a noelle who doesn't really respect susie's personhood and sees her more as an object whose affection must be won, and it can't be by the will of a divine entity that orchestrated everything for susie to end up with her. it has to be susie's choice.
this is kind of why i like ralsusie. what better way to make a display of your agency than to reject literally everything others have coaxed you into? rejecting the prophecy, rejecting noelle's advances, rejecting the player's agency, rejecting the concept of darkners not being real people.
its not like she can only choose to be the bully no one likes or the hero protector who ends up with noelle. its a false dichotomy, where fate locks her up and offers an escape, but the "escape" is only another cell. true escape is carving your own path, playing by your own rules.
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the loyalty that louis gives clem is just *chef kiss*
Yes.
It takes Louis a little bit to truly warm up to people, which is something I think a lot of people don't get? because yeah, he gives off the appearance of being so open. If he's crackin' jokes and smiling and being super friendly, then surely that means he's an open book, right? ...except no. That's surface level you're lookin' at.
Yes, he is a genuinely friendly person who cares about people, but he isn't willing to just throw his trust around at whoever walks through the gate. He doesn't know Clementine, and while he wants to get to know her and become friends, he needs more than that to dump his life story on and swear his loyalty to her, y'know? She isn't owed that just for being Clementine, despite what some people believe.
Louis doesn't tell you shit about himself, and anything he does say is during the card game and it's small stuff that he would tell anyone, it's nothing super personal... and when Clementine chooses to spend time with him, he lets his guard down enough to tell her about how he views survival and living before catching himself like "whoops didn't mean to do that ha ha you should leave now and check on Aasim ha ha" like the boy isn't ready to bring that wall down and of course not, he's known her for a day and he's already feelin' a little something for her?? not ready to explore that yet??
And when it comes to the confrontation when you appeal to him? It's so powerful, I'm sorry but that scene is one of the most emotionally impactful in the first episode. Louis has his loyalty to Marlon because yeah, he's known Marlon for years and he's know Clementine for what? Two days? But he knows something is wrong here, that what Marlon's doing is wrong and through Clementine, he finds it in himself to step in front of a gun unarmed as a way of protecting both Clementine and Marlon. This is such a huge moment for his character realizing his blind trust in Marlon was broken and it hurts. Then before he can get any answers from Marlon, he's gunned down and there's no taking that back.
Which is why it's so satisfyingly that after everything they went through with Marlon, Louis is able to come to terms with what happened and forgive AJ for what he did as well as apologize for the mistakes he made and let himself be vulnerable with Clementine like... he still cares about her and wants to be near her, and it's up to her to take the next step.... and when she chooses him?
He finally lays it all out and thanks her for being there and you can feel how much he cares for her and wants her to accept him, so when she does?? even if you don't romance him and I don't know how you manage to do that because I physically have to romance him every time.... he is ride or die for her. He shows his loyalty to her [and AJ] through words and actions, he proves it... like he is true to her, he is willing to tell her about the past he's so ashamed of that made him internalize all of this guilt and self-deprecation and "I'm bad, I feel things that hurt people, I am bad."
Once Louis is at your side, he's there and he's gonna do whatever he can to be there for you. It isn't bullshit "Kenny loyalty" that isn't actually loyalty, it's "do what I say and have the 'correct' feelings/reactions to things or fuck off."
Louis is loyal in that he might not always agree with Clementine, but he's willing to work through their differences and the obstacles thrown at them because she's important to him, AJ's important to him, together they make each other stronger and they grow as people. Even when he's hurting, even when he's pissed, even when he needs time alone to process everything and calm down, he cares and loves them. He'll be there for them no matter what, til death due them apart.
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gunterfan1992 · 4 years ago
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Episode Review: ‘Obsidian’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 2)
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Airdate: November 19, 2020
Story by: Jack Pendarvis, and Kate Tsang, Adam Muto, & Hanna K. Nyström
Storyboarded by: Hanna K Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Mickey Quinn, Maya Petersen, James Campbell, & Ashlyn Anstee
Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)
Of all the many colorful characters in Adventure Time perhaps none has a more elaborate backstory than Marceline the Vampire Queen. In many ways, Marceline really was the writers’ gold goose, engendering complex story after complex story. By the time the series ended, the vampire’s life had in more ways than one been woven into the very fabric of the show’s mythology.
But because I am a Marceline fanboy—whose zeal for her majesty is rivaled perhaps only by Glassboy himself—I always felt like the show could have done even more with her backstory; I mean, when the series finale aired, there were still plenty of questions that had yet to be answered (What happened to her mom? What is Simon going to do now that he’s “cured”? How did Marcy and Bubblegum meet? Were they romantically involved before the events of the main series? How did it all go south?). Nevertheless, when "Island Song” played for the last time at the end of “Come Along with Me,” I forced myself to push aside this minor, fannish grievance and applaud the show for writing such an excellent character. I didn’t need for every last detail of her life to be explicitly shown on screen. I was happy.
But then, about a year ago, news dropped that one of the Distant Lands specials would really delve into the history of Marceline and Bubblegum’s relationship. In an instant, I tossed my stoic “I-am-satisified-with-what-I-received” mentality right out the window. We were going to get another Marceline episode, and it was going to dive back into her elaborate backstory!?! I could barely contain my excitement as I waited for the episode to drop.
Well, was my excitement worth it? Or was “Obsidian” a big ol’ let down—a tragic victim to grandiose expectations that were never meant to be fulfilled?
I’m quite happy to say that not only was “Obsidian” a remarkable special in its own right, but it is arguably one of the strongest episodes of Adventure Time, period.
The plot of this episode is fairly standard, as far as Adventure Time episodes go: Glassboy (a new character voiced by Michaela Dietz, the voice of Amethyst from Steven Universe) accidentally sets a giant fire monster named Molto Larvo loose on the Glass Kingdom, and Marceline and Bubblegum—who we learn have been living their best cottagecore life together in Marcy’s cavehouse—are forced to save the day. But the series’ writers take this otherwise quotidian adventure idea—a story which, at least on paper, could have easily fit in during any of the show’s many seasons—and employ it as something of a Trojan Horse, using it as a pretense to delve into both Marcy’s traumatic childhood and her and Bubblegum’s romantic history. And, boy, is it a ride!
With regard to the former story thread, the audience learns that sometime after the Mushroom Bomb detonated, Marceline and her mother, Elise (voiced this time not by Rebecca Sugar, but by actress Erica Luttrell, who played Sapphire in Steven Universe), roamed the wastelands in search of shelter; after Marceline’s mother came down with some sort of sickness, she sent Marceline to be on her own. Elise was hoping that this would spare Marcy the trauma of seeing her mother die before her very eyes, but due to some communication issues, Marceline never learned what became of her mother. As such, Marceline began blaming herself for “leaving” her mom to die in the wreckage of the world. This plot thread is perhaps one of the bleakest that Adventure Time has ever explored, and the show does it masterfully, balancing the darkness (e.g., Marceline’s mother coughing up blood) with bright spots of comedy (e.g., the "wazzup” dog) that never feel distasteful.
Likewise, when it comes to the story thread about Marcy and Bubblegum’s romantic history, the special does not hold back. We get to see “Bubbline” at its best and its worst. I have a feeling that the word “fan service” is going to be used by a lot of folks when talking about this episode. As the AV Club writer William Hughes notes, this word is usually hurled around like a pejorative, but it aptly describes the appeal of “Obsidian”. After all, this episode really is “fan service at its finest”—not only does it give the ravenous shippers the story tidbits that they have so long to see (e.g., the moment Marcy gave Bubblegum her rock shirt, Bubbline’s epic break-up), but—and this is very important—it does so in a way that is fundamentally meaningful. “Obsidian” does not feel self-indulgent, unnecessary, or pandering. On the contrary, it is overflowing with deep emotion that allows us to better understand how Bubblegum and Marceline really feel about one another. Sure, over the centuries that the two gals have bummed around Ooo, they have bickered and fought, but deep down, their love is passionate. In many ways, it is like the titular obsidian, which means that nothing short of an enchanted diamond pickax is strong enough to break Bubbline apart for good.
(It’s also quite nice that after seasons and seasons of tip-toeing around the question of Marceline and Bubblegum’s sexuality, “Obsidian” can explicitly focus on their life together, showing the two characters cuddling, kissing, and dancing. In terms of LGBTQ+ representation, it’s a huge leap forward, and I’m so happy that Adventure Time has had a part to play in normalizing queer relationships!)
Marceline episodes almost always featured a catchy diddy, but "Obsidian” really cranks things up to 11 by featuring a whole bevy of catchy songs, several of which are perhaps among the show’s strongest. The first right banger, “It’s Funny,” is the song that plays over the special’s credits. With a grunge-meets-riot grrrl feels, this track really sets the tone for the episode, signaling to the audience that we’re in for, as Lumpy Space Princess once put it, some “drama bombs.” The next standout is “Woke Up,” a brutally honest diss track that Marceline used both to contain Molto Larvo and break up with Princess Bubblegum centuries prior to the start of this episode. This song was written by pop rocker Zuzu, and it—as the kids say—slaps. Layers of fuzzed-out guitar and digitally processed vocals are used expertly to sell Marceline’s emotions and convey how, on the surface, she’s delighted to no longer be under Bubblegum’s romantic spell... even if her heart may not be so sure.
But arguably, the musical jewel of the entire special is “Monster,” a somber ballad that Marceline sings to Bubblegum when they find themselves trapped in the collapsing furnace and are facing what they believe is certain death. Written by indie pop artist Half Shy, this song is, in many ways, something of the inverse of “Woke Up”: soft, happy, and filled to the brim with a sort of love that few are lucky to receive and even fewer can honestly express. Not only does “Monster” finally cement Marceline’s real, visceral love for Bubblegum in song form (remember: almost every prior Bubbline song was either indirect or delivered by an angsty, heartbroken Marceline), but it also “tames” Molto Larvo, allowing him to metamorphose into a strange but harmless cat-butterfly critter. Just like “Come Along with Me,” “Obsidian” proves that the power of love and music will save us in the end—if not physically, then at least emotionally.
Regarding the production-side of things, there’s a lot of praise to doll out. First off, the look and style of “Obsidian” is gorgeous. While “BMO” opted to experiment somewhat with the classic Adventure Time art style, trading cel shading for an almost watercolor feel, “Obsidian” echoes the aesthetic of the original series. That said, there’s an undeniable animation bump—likely courtesy of that sweet, sweet HBO money—that lets Ooo and its denizens shine in all their glory. You can tell that Adam Muto, art director Sandra Lee, supervising director Miki Brewster, and all the members of the production staff really went above and beyond the call of duty. The episode's soundtrack, composed by Amanda Jones, as deserves a shout-out. Jones did an excellent job mixing the chiptune style of the original series with a bass-heavy rock sound that highlights Marceline’s starring role. Bravo!
As another production aside, I should point out that CN/HBO’s decision to make these specials each 44 minutes was the right call. The 11 minute format of the original series often left something to be desired when it came to plot development, as many an important episode was forced to end somewhat prematurely due to time constraints; conversely, the 8-episode miniseries format that the show experimented with during its latter days sometimes felt like too much time (Stakes, Islands, and Elements all had whole episodes that felt like nothing more than the show treading water). The length of “Obsidian”, however, was just right, giving us plenty of time to take in what was happening without ever feeling like it was dragging.
A final aspect of this episode that is worth mention is its many call-backs to previous episodes and characters. “BMO” was mostly a self-contained story that, due to its nature as a prequel in space, really couldn’t reference the Land of Ooo without feeling forced. “Obsidian,” however, throws in everything and the kitchen sink (Adventure Time superfan and all-around cool person Jagm has collected most of them here for those of you who want to see everything laid out nicely). Stand-outs for me include Choose Goose (someone who we really haven’t seen since season five) smuggling sketchy products into the Candy Kingdom, post-Ice King Simon trying his hand at open mic nights, Bronwyn as an adventurous hero, and Finn the (Adult!) Human complete with beard and scars! Of note, Jake does not appear in this episode, except as a tattoo on Finn’s chest. Many in the fandom are now speculating that the events of “Obsidian” take place after our beloved shapeshifting dog’s death. Oh say it ain’t so! Perhaps we’ll learn more in “Together Again.”
Mushroom War Evidence: Unlike “BMO,” which directly referenced the Mushroom War and its fallout (both literally and figuratively), this episode returned to the show’s roots by featuring gobs of explicit hints in throw-away lines or elaborate background pieces. Honestly, there is far too many to list here in a pithy paragraph, but some major references include: the reveal that the Glass Kingdom, like the Fire Kingdom, was created by ‘magic’ blaze from the heavens (almost certainly a nuke); the fact that Marceline and her mother wandered for a time in the debris-filled wastelands following the apocalypse; and the reveal that Marceline spent at least part of her childhood holed up in a bomb shelter surrounded by the bones of myriad dead humans. Honestly, while references to the Mushroom War have always been sad footnotes to an otherwise cheery show; in this episode, however, the references are very graphic, illustrating the sorrow and horror of mutagenic war.
Final Grade: As I said earlier, I’m a Marcy fanboy, so I’m horrible biased, but I don’t care. This episode rocked. Q.E.D.
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morsking · 5 years ago
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And so we have concluded Lostbelt 2! Now that I’ve experienced it for myself, I have a much clearer picture about how I feel about this chapter. As I progressed one thing became very clear to me, and that was that Hazuki Minase likely did NOT have any influence with this chapter, and its weakest points can be attributed to its main writer, Hikaru Sakurai, once we more closely scrutinize her work.
For starters, I would like to apologize to the people who kept trying to tell me Minase had nothing to do with the writing of Losbelt 2. You were correct, I simply acted stubbornly because I was terrified that one of the writers I loathe the most had returned to haunt and corrupt the franchise I hold very dear to me. I insisted on blaming him for any flaws because he was an easy scapegoat and a bogeyman, and while we all agree he is a pervert and a hack who should be fired, it is simply not fair to point fingers at imaginary criminals. A person should always be held accountable only for the misdeeds they have actually committed. Indeed, we may now explore Lostbelt 2 and the integrity of its writing with a more objective perspective, or rather as objective as I can manage to be.
The overall theme of the Lostbelt is “acknowledging one’s emotions as a vehicle for personal growth”. The issue persistent in the setting of Lostbelt Scandinavia was that it was a place where only young humans were allowed to survive. These humans would be oblivious to what real growth and prosperity were really like. They were innocent, and emotionally and intellectually stunted groups of people who only knew to live for the truth of their eventual demise. They lived short, rushed lives where they would stay ignorant of basic human experiences, such as love, grudges, aging, vice, hate, competition, and companionship because they devoted themselves to living how Scathach-Skadi ordered them to. They were unable to think or decide what to do for themselves, and were thus incapable of not just taking the reins to decide their own evolution as we do in Proper Human History, but also of fathoming doing such a thing in the first place.
This is a mirror to Ophelia Phamrsolone. Ophelia was conditioned to only listen to others for purpose and direction. Ophelia doesn’t actually know how to listen to her own feelings or even what those feelings even are because she was never allowed to connect not just with herself but with anyone. Ophelia, like Surtr points out, is still very much a little girl terrified by everything around her because she has no balance, no capacity for finding her center as a healthy and normal human being would. Unbeknownst to herself, all her interactions with others are a plea for help. Her very first interaction with Mash in 2017 was asking her if she’d like to have lunch with her and Pepe because Ophelia is terrified by male strangers and wishes to connect with other women as well. Ophelia’s conversations with Kirschtaria are also her not knowing how to proceed with challenges and therefore appealing to authority both for comfort and advice. Finally, her monologues with the Alien Priestess are Ophelia venting about how she feels, as if she were unaware of what to really think of herself as her helplessness and indecision drown her in a lake of self-loathing. 
These cries for help extend to the way she summons her Servants. Ophelia is noted to be incredibly proficient at evocation. Some might even call her a genius. In fact, she is such a genius she unknowingly managed to contract not just with one, nor two, but three different Servants all at once. The first Servant to answer her summon was Sigurd, the King of Warriors from Nordic mythology. The second Servant was Surtr the King of Giants and Scourge of Ragnarok (titled by yours truly), who hijacked the summoning and took over Sigurd. The third, and most pivotal, was Napoleon Bonaparte, the French Emperor whose Spirit Origin was modified to embody the “ideal Good Fellow who could make dreams come true” rather than the actual historical Napoleon.
What these three Servants have in common is that Ophelia wished for all of them from the darkest depths of her heart. Ophelia desired capable Servants who could give her some form of direction and stability. 
Sigurd, for example, is a hero renown for rescuing Brynhild and giving brand new meaning to her life by showering her with love and devotion. Love and devotion are things that Ophelia not just desires to be shown but actively struggles to adequately express to others because she has never known what it’s like to experience those things. To Ophelia, Sigurd represents “being given that which you have never known and finding fulfillment”. 
Surtr, on the other hand, embodies a darker type of direction: the terror stagnation, conformity, monotony, inaction, and eternal suffering. Surtr exercises control over Ophelia by threatening to destroy the world if he is released, prompting Ophelia to flash to her childhood locked away by her abusive parents every dreaded Sunday. Surtr locks Ophelia into a state of helplessness and indecision where she has to carefully consider how she will proceed with dealing with Surtr. Ophelia has decided to lock herself in with him as a way to prevent him from breaking out of both Sigurd’s body and the physical prison inside the Lostbelt’s sun. This is a situation where Ophelia is in a constant state of stress and fear, since as a Crypter the last thing she could ever want to see is the destruction of yet another world by her hands. More personally, the death of the Lostbelt would also mean death for Ophelia, as she has failed her purpose once again and thus would have no worth as a person. However, what Ophelia cannot understand, because Surtr himself does not, is that Surtr’s destructive impulses are how he wants to show love and devotion towards her. Surtr has reasoned that since their worlds abandoned them after they failed to perform their ordained tasks, the only thing left is to annihilate them completely as retribution for their suffering. Surtr does not wish to hurt Ophelia, but because he is a being defined only by his overwhelming desire to burn everything, he cannot help her heal or grow in any way that matters. All he can offer is annihilation. To Ophelia, Surtr represents “self-destruction through a static state of being”.
Finally, there is Napoleon. Napoleon represents a pronounced antithesis to Ophelia’s entire personality. He is an upbeat, improvising, confident man who chooses to not stress over things because what he is seeing is only what lies ahead, not what lies in front of him.He also breaks her defenses by asking something so ridiculous and unexpected as her hand in marriage when they have only just met. Napoleon refuses to give in to any negative outcome regardless of how much the odds are stacked against him, as he demonstrated in Scathach-Skadi’s throne room where he refused to let Sigurd kill his Master despite being restrained by Skadi’s paralyzing rune. He demonstrates this once again when he blows his final shot at Surtr during the final battle, sacrificing his own life to give Chaldea the opportunity to regroup and bombard Surtr to bring him down. He is called the Man of Infinite Possibilities precisely because he faces the unknown head on and finds the best path to walk for his comrades to advance. He does not let fear take over his heart and judgement, he creates a rainbow as a bridge connecting the present to the bright, shining future. He is precisely the hero Ophelia needs, because he embodies “the bravery to grasp your own future and find your own direction”. 
But analyzing these characters further is a post for another time. What I want to get into are the gripes I have with this Lostbelt. 
Now, I could lead you on through a couple more paragraphs before I wham you with what this all means in a much higher metatextual level, but I don’t have the time nor the creativity to do that so I’m just gonna give it to you straight. This square between Ophelia, Sigurd, Surtr, and Napoleon is the storyline that matters most in Lostbelt 2. Scathach-Skadi matters little despite her own parallels with Ophelia and being the Lostbelt King, and the situation with the Lostbelt’s inhabitants matters even less. Why?
Because Lostbelt 2 is Sakurai coming full circle and writing an otome game like Fate/Prototype was meant to be before Fate/stay night became a thing. 
SHOCKER!! SOUND EFFECTS OF SURPRISE!! DRAMATIC KAZOOS GALORE!!
Now, that’s exaggerating a little. Or maybe not that much, actually.
What Sakurai was doing was applying conventional otome game tropes into the setting not just what she’s familiar writing for, but because Lostbelt 2 is inherently an incredibly self-indulgent project. 
There is a classic trademark otome fantasy at play here: the fantasy of multiple men being devoted to a female main character a player can relate to. There is no denying there is a certain appeal to the idea that there are several handsome men all willing to devore their entire lives to a person. Sigurd, Surtr, and Napoleon all embody certain otome game love interest archetypes. Sigurd is the cold, composed, intellectual man who is actually earnest, just, affectionate, and wise. Surtr is the dark-hearted troubled man with fiery disposition struggling with expressing love. Napoleon is the strong, confident, borderline pixie manic dream boy with almost zero brains but plenty of empathy and... *ahem*, physique to make up for his seeming lack of tact and intelligence (he’s a himbo is what I’m saying but that comes as no surprise). The problems arise with Napoleon himself, however. Napoleon hounds Ophelia with marriage proposals she refuses time and time and again. When he proposes to her in front of Chaldea for the first time, the narrative has Mash take Napoleon’s side and urges you to do the same because Sakurai believed the reader would’ve caught on to what’s actually going on between Ophelia and Napoleon. 
The issue here is that Sakurai’s clues up to that point had been far too hidden for the player to make a proper connection, and it’s not until AFTER the proposal that the player discovers Napoleon is predisposed to fall in love with whoever summons him because that’s what Ophelia wanted out of an ideal Servant. Because of the poor execution in presenting all these factors that completely recontextualize the relationship between Napoleon and Ophelia, when Sakurai has Napoleon say “You did not reject me therefore you DID agree,” we jump to the conclusion that Napoleon is engaging in extremely reprehensible behavior and ideology reminiscent of dangerous and abusive men IRL rather than take it as harmless flirtation from a well-meaning oaf of a man as he tries to break the shell of his beloved. Sakurai invokes a very dangerous trope that does more to excuse misogynistic behavior when done incorrectly rather than successfully appear as a romantic gesture of attempting to liberate a loved one from the clutches of isolation and victimhood.
On a larger scale, the application of these tropes is where Lostbelt 2 starts to suffer, and that’s where Sakurai’s writing further begins to resemble Minase’s. Sakurai spent so much time building these interpersonal dynamics that she spent the least amount of effort actually building upon the situation of the Lostbelt and Scathach-Skadi’s character and motivations for keeping the Scandinavia the way it is. 
Upon scrutiny, it’s not very difficult to pick apart the setting and make a mark out of the glaring logistical inconsistencies of maintaining a population of only 10,000 humans for a span of 3,000 years by having them reproduce at 15 years old at the latest to execute them at 25. Anyone with a passing understanding of biology would know that forcing children to carry babies to term can lead to terrible health and psychological complications that would certainly end up in a lot more miscarriages, stillbirths, and failed attempts at impregnation than actual successful births. The problem here then is rather evident. Sakurai wanted to use the fact that all these children are young, innocent, naive, gullible, and ignorant to draw a connection to Ophelia’s own psychological and emotional circumstance. However, she realized that because she was writing a setting that obligated her to work around a 3000-year gap between Ragnarok and the present day. She needed something that would compromise the need for a realistic system that would ensure the reproductive viability of a human population through such a long period of time and the thematic vehicle of childhood and repression of growth as a way to connect Ophelia to her environment. This compromise ended up working for the absolute worse because she chose the worst possible system she was aware was the worst possible system she could’ve come up with and therefore decided to forsake that part of the plot without going through the implications of it and leaving the specifics to the reader’s imagination so they could sort it out in her stead.
This unwillingness to properly explore the problematic implications of Scathach-Skadi’s system not only deprived the player of a possible engaging storyline where child endangerment, a common theme in the Nasuverse, is explored and criticized through a different angle, but also actively hurts Scathach-Skadi’s connection to the player because we never get the opportunity to debate with her about her ideology and the state of the Lostbelt. We never hold her accountable for enforcing such a brutally predatory and dehumanizing system that targets children, instead Sakurai opts to build her up as a flawed, self-absorbed mother figure desperately trying to combat the extinction of the remnant of her world who also never really learned how to deal with the revelation there is an entire life she did not get to have in this universe that we MUST sympathize because she occasionally sees through the characters and acts kind towards them until the time comes for us to fight her in earnest as a matter of principle completely divorced from the question of how she’s managed her Lostbelt. The fact Scathach-Skadi’s model of sustainability does not work is made obvious by the fact it takes place in a Lostbelt, what we are trying to get at here is that it does not work from a writing standpoint because of all the different holes you can poke on it before you’ve punched through the paper screen entirely and revealed the superfluousness of it all. 
There is nothing inherently bad about self-indulgent storylines. If I’m being honest, if Sakurai wanted to use Ophelia and Musashi as self-inserts to fantasize about romancing the different kinds of characters she finds attractive, more power to her. But the problem surrounding Lostbelt 2, which is the same problem that plagued Septem and Fate/Extella, is a veritable lack of restraint from her part as a professional writer in charge of a multi-billion dollar mobile game. What the writing room over at Type-Moon has to realize is that they are no longer a small doujin writing circle that can get away with whatever they want because they operate under obscurity. They are visible to the entire world and will be held accountable and criticized as professionals by consumers and their peers in the industry. A little bit of self-fulfillment in a published work never hurt anyone, you can cater to yourself most of all with your professional work (I mean, just look at She-Ra), but you must be sure that in your pursuit of indulgence your work does not suffer for it and ends up alienating and disappointing your fanbase and giving them the wrong impression of what you stand for. 
Anyway we’re popping the biggest bottles when GudaMoth becomes canon this December. 
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lizacstuff · 4 years ago
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Liza that 3rd fragman 👀 "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)
That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.  
Friends... we’re gonna go through some things.  That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer.  (I heart them)
This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up! 
I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut. 
Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?
You could be right!  I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.  
Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another.  Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me. 
@jan31​ Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!
I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.  
However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons. 
Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.  
Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)
You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama. 
Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set.  But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy. 
As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them. 
The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs. 
In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem. 
Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......
If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!
And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because  a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos  b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.  
Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on.  Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???
Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha
You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us!  As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!  
Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?
After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them. 
Memory loss
Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth,  he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing
Time jump
AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together
Dream
These actors playing different characters in a new story
I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases. 
Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying
The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.  
It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens.  And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape. 
Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.
I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode!  The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.
As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch. 
Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t.  The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.
Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!
Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch. 
Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!
Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!  
Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.
Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far?  Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.
Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...🤷🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.
Bye bitches!  I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that.  And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her. 
Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.
SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!  
That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.” 
I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well. 
Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?
This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see!  I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not!  Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time. 
Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.
Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another! 
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for-the-love-of-life-lads · 3 years ago
Text
What’s the point?
Hey everyone. probably just ignore this post if your triggered by anything. I just need a place to rant and I don’t have anyone to talk to so I would just like to put it here I guess. Suicide warning, lots of sad thoughts and just hurt so just don’t read okay? Okay, thanks.
Tonight is really hard for me, well more than usual. Right now I just wish I was dead because all I can think is what’s the fucking point of it all you know? I mean, no one can actually answer this question for me. Whenever I ask someone ‘what’s the point of being alive?’ all they can see is that they need me here or that things get better. 
But that doesn't answer my fucking question. 
The truth is, I think, is that there isn’t an actual reason that I should be here. For the last 18 years I have been fucking misreable and I am so scared all the time that I know I’ll be too scared to do something I enjoy when I’m away from my parents, so then I’ll still be alone, scared, and misreable. I don’t sleep because my mind is always running and scared. I mean, I like laying down in my bed not because I’m sleeping, but because I can daydream and be with people in my dreams that I know care about me and will put me first for once. I’m not scared that the people in my daydreams will hurt me physically, I’m not scared that they will take advantage of me or try and rape me, and for once i get the love and care that I have always really wanted. 
For my entire life,  no one has ever really cared for my feelings or have tried to take care of me. For my entire life, my dad has not only physically hurt me but mentally and emotionally tramuatized me to the point where I don’t know if I could ever trust anyone. Not only that, but would disown me whenever I didn't get in and fight people in the ring. He always wanted me to get in with people who were always trying to hurt me and make me fight them no matter how I felt, he’s actually told me that sometimes he has set up such fucked up fights, that he was scared for me to get hurt. Yet, no matter what he would push me into these fucked up situatuations anyway and be mad if i didn't completely dominate them or if I was scared. I was never allowed to be scared. My mom? She just lets this shit happen. She hasn’t ever tried to protect me from anything. She always tells me she’s sorry for everything, but it doesn't make me feel better when she’s never really protected me. Then my little sister? I take care of her the best I can, but I can tell you she doesn’t actually care about my feelings. She doesn’t ever want to hear my opinions and will push me away or get irriated when I feel anything that she doesn’t agree with.
My entire life, all I’ve ever wanted was for someone to care about me mentally/ emotionally and... protect me. Its not like I need the protection, I’ve made it through some fucked up shit by myself and haven’t needed anyone to help me. But I just wanted someone to love me enough to say ‘hey,  your important enough to me that your feelings and thoughts matter. I don’t want you to be scared all the time. I want you to feel safe for once. I know you can take care of yourself, but I want you to know that I’m here to protect you and keep you safe so you don’t have to be alone anymore.’
That’s why I love my daydreams. In my daydreams, I have Nate (a boyfriend that I made up). Nate takes care of me, not in a ‘I will beat everyone up for you’ type of way, but when I feel cold and numb in my chest or when I want to take the many sleeping pills and Tylenol and other assorted medications I’ve stolen from my parents with the biggest bottle of alcohol that I can find, he distracts me. He just lets me cry on his chest, wrapping his jacket around my arms as he holds me close and just lets me cry the pain away. He tells me that it’s okay, and that I am safe now to let the pain out. I don’t have to be emotionaless or have to cry myself to sleep anymore. That he just wants me to be okay. Or, when I’m too far gone to the point that I’m too numb and in too dark of a place to cry, he doesn't let me focus on my problems. He pulls me onto a bed and runs his fingers through my hair and rubs circles on my back with me facing his chest. He asks me about my dreams or what I want in my wildest dreams, that we should talk about that.
I tell him that all I want is a small, navy blue house with plastic (that looks like wood) slats with a white trim that’s on the beach. It has three bedrooms, two half bath, and a window seat. We both live there, we’re married and love each other very much. We have two daughters: Emma and Luna. We both work, I’m a psychologist and I usually don’t think about his job because that would be something that he should decide because I would want him to choose something that makes him happy. I always tell him how weird it is that I have kids in my dreams because I hate the idea of having kids because I have been raising myself, my parents, and my sister my entire life and the idea of having kids has never really appealed to me. But having kids with him? Knowing that he would be there and knowing what a great dad and husband he would be makes me feel like its something I would want. One of the nicest dreams I have in this dream I have is of him taking our daughter out on a ‘daddy-daughter-date’ so that our girls always know how they should be treated no matter who their dating. 
In my dreams, he always wants that to be a reality some day.
But I guess that's why I hate reality, because Nate isn't here. He won’t hold me, he won’t be here to make me feel safe or protected against the demons that keep me up and scared.
One of the saddest things I feel is when I am in a panic attack, crying my eyes out alone, or in pain and all I can keep repeating is ‘I want my Nate’. But I know no one will come. Nate will never be here, and no one can ever be my Nate.
No one will ever try and take care of me or love me because I am a shitty person in general, I am confrontational with everyone because I am terrified of everyone else in this world.
It's kinda sad actually, all I want in my life is for someone to love me. But I know that I am unlovable. After all, who can love someone who hates themselves so much that they just want to end it all? Who wants a broken toy when they could have a new shiny one?
It’s really funny, I actually am really mean about people being in love in shows, movies, and books. I always ask how someone could only want love in their lives. How somone could hate being alone. but the truth is? It’s just because I am jelous of people in relationships, and I am so ashamed of how all I want is someone to love and protect me.
Nate is the best part of my life. One of the nicest dreams I have is when he takes me to a mall when he realizes I don’t have anything other than t-shirts and jeans. He always asks me why I don’t have anything else, and I can tell him the truth which is that my dad would always make fun of me to the point where I would cry if I wore anything else, so I didn’t want any other clothes.
At one point, he hands me a couple of dressed to try on in the dressing room. A while passes and he comes to check on me and I’m just crying in the changing room like I always am when I have to look at myself in a mirror, and tell him that I couldn’t come out and that I was changing back into my regular clothes. Before I can do anything, he slips under the changing room door despite me telling him that he’s going to get in trouble. When he sees me, he just stares for a minute and asks me why I was crying. And I tell him the truth that I look terrible and everyone was going to laugh at me because I don’t belong in a dress and that I was too ugly for dresses. Dresses are for pretty girls, like my mom and my sister. Nate takes my hands and turns me so that I am looking in the mirror. he tells me that he didn’t know what I saw, but when he looked at the girl in the mirror, that all he could see was the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. I tell him that I don’t need him to lie to me, that I know that I’m ugly and that its okay. He then wipes the tears from my eyes and gives me a hug from the back and tells me that he didn’t want me to talk shit about his girlfriend. No matter, what I think of her because he loves her and thinks that she is the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He tells me that if I really care about him and his feelings, that I would be nice to his girlfriend too. 
It’s stupid, but I think that this is the only time I’ve ever felt beautiful in my life. Like his compliment actually feels genuine unlike anyone else who has ever said anything nice to me. 
When I look at myself again and ask him if he likes the dress on me, and he says that he really, really loves it. So much that he might want to take it off of me. He makes me laugh, but unknowingly he has just made me feel sexy for the first time in my life. I’ve always felt ugly, unwanted, and like trash. but just a few words from him makes me feel like someone actually thinks I look pretty for once. I tell him that I would like to get this dress. He keeps trying to offer to pay for it, but I refuse to let him because he’s already given me so much more than I could ever repay him for.
He then tells me I’ll need some regular flats shoes because I couldn’t have only one pair of chuck taylor’s to wear with a pretty dress like that. So, we go to a shoe store so I can find a pair of shoes.  We eventually find a pair to try on, and I go to sit down and try them on. But he grabs' the box from me once I’ve sat down. He sits down on the floor and starts taking my shoes off and then taking off my bulky socks and starts putting on the thin, stocking like ones the stores give you to try on shoes. I ask him what he’s doing, that I am perfectly capable of putting shoes on myself. 
He just smiles and tells me that he knows that I can put the shoes on myself, but that he just wanted to do it for me.
All I can feel is shock, disbelief, and then all I want is to jump out of my seat and hug him and never ever let him go. It’s stupid, something as stupid as just changing my shoes for me makes me want to break down and hug him till I die. He makes me feel special even though I know I’m not. It makes me love him to the point where I feel like I can’t breath. and the worst part is he doesn't even know how much he’s making my heart feel like its not hurting anymore. To him, its just a nice thing he’s doing for his girlfriend, but to me its a memory I will never forget, its the thing that makes me feel like life is worth living again, and its giving me a feeling of happiness that I could never repay him for. I wish I could show him how much it means to me.
I pay for the shoes because I am definitely getting them at that point. I love that dress and those shoes and refuse to ever forget them because they were the only outfit that my boyfriend helped me pick, and was the only outfit that made me feel beautiful, sexy, loved, and cared for for the first time in my life.
I wish Nate was real. He’s all I ever think about because its the only thing that makes me happy in my life. I love him so much because I am never scared that he will hurt me just because he doesn't like something I am doing. I don’t have to worry about him getting drunk and beating me up. I don't have to worry about him getting mad when we get in a heated discussion and him hitting me, and I don’t have to worry about him wanting to have sex and not taking no for an answer. 
He’s not real, so what’s the point? No person is ever going to be Nate for me. The truth and reality of our world is that everyone will hurt you, no one will be selfless enough to truly love you. People care too much for themselves to care about you or your feelings if it doesn’t benefit them. We are animals just like ever other living animal on our planet. We are concerned only with self-preservation and continuing our lineage and the survival of our species. This means, that no one is going to choose you over themselves. If you don’t benefit them they will drop you like a bad habit, or hurt you until you comply with what they want. Love doesn’t exist because in just a glorified way for humans to explain their feelings of wanting to fuck someone. We are a smart species that are able to be self-aware, and want to believe that we are above animals, so we can feel things like ‘love’ but the truth is that love is just a way of explaining why we want to fuck someone, because they have qualities that we want our offspring to have (whether these are mental/emotional, or physical). I hate people because we are just selfish, self- righteous animals that think were above everyone else.
I also hate the lie that ‘I matter’ and that I need to be here in this world. That is such bullshit.  There are 7 billion people in this world and counting, why does it matter if 1 in 7 billion is alive? If I don’t want to be here, then why should I take up resources for people that do want to be here? I don’t matter, and the whole world wouldn't miss me if I was gone. Why is it so detrimental that I am here? Why do people fight so hard to keep people here if they don’t want to be here?
I think humans just have a natural aversion to death because they are animals that are trying to insure their species survival and know that people killing themselves would put a damper on that. 
But what is the point? I mean, all that happens in life is that you are met with a bunch of problems and good things that won’t ever last and then you die. I mean, I’m gonna die in the end anyway, I don’t have any real reason for living, I  am sick of facing problem after problem, and I hate myself.
And don’t anyone say that ‘god wants you here’ or any bullshit like that. I don’t personally believe in god. I mean, what god would watch billions of his people starve and suffer, what god would let awful things happen to good people, if there is a god, then why is it so hard for us to translate his word? There are so many contradictions' and changes in religion that its fucking insane. I think that people just can’t handle their loved ones or themselves dying and that there is nothing once you die, so to comfort themselves they come up with gods and stuff to make it easier to deal with.
So, there isn’t a god, there isn’t any real reason to live, and I can’t see how I matter.
My perfect day? Would be taking all those pills I have saved up with a bunch of alcohol, and then laying on my back that way if my body tried to reject the medication by throwing it up I will just choke on the puke, and just daydream about Nate and I together. Him just holding me, laying in bed with me against his chest or us dancing on a date, with my head laying on his chest. He’ll make fun of me for loving country music, but will let me dance to one song because he knows how happy it will make me.
I wish that I could just gather all my savings one day, giving half to a guy that I chose, using the rest of it to buy the nicest hotel room I could, a knife and some alcohol. All I would want the guy to do would just have him lay with me holding me against his chest and saying nice things like that he loves me and that he would protect me (he wouldn't have to mean any of the things he says) and just running his fingers through my hair until I fell asleep on his chest. When I woke up, he could leave and then I could kill myself. That way I would at least know what it would be like to have someone love and care for me. That would be the best.
I wish I wasn’t so sad. I wish I could talk to someone. I wish I didn’t hate myself so much. I wish I wasn't fat. I wish I could sleep. I wish I was strong. I wish I wasn’t so weak. 
I think that my battery is dying. I have to go. 
night I guess.
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dreamsarelikedragonflies · 4 years ago
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Which of your fics...
(eeeeeee!) I was tagged by @nikibogwater for this one, and I’m super grateful for that, because boy oh boy do I have things to say. Without further ado...
...did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got: 
Well, I have to say I thought Uneven Days would be getting a lot of attention, seeing as, yknow, Douxie dying at the end of Wizards would have been one hell of a turn. But, the more I think about that one, the more I realize it’s really pretty dark and downright painful to read even for me, so I can understand why it wasn’t bigger. At the same time, I still regard it as one of my better heavy-angst pieces because of how I was able to make it concise but impactful.
...is your funniest: 
Hmm! I think that I tend to keep a balance of humor, fluff, and angst in my writing (and personally, I think that’s what makes it so appealing to me to keep writing) but Witch Hazel was by far one of the more fluffy and just all around funnier ones. I mean, really, a stinky moppet!Douxie who is overjoyed to be running simple errands for his master, sassy Zoe who doesn’t know what to think of this tall, cute, albeit dorky guy, immediately followed up by a time skip to the future where Zoe is soft about sweet Douxie and the roles are sort of reversed. It’s just so stinking cute (pun fully intended.)
...is your darkest/angstiest: 
Well, previously mentioned Uneven Days probably has to take the cake on that one, simply because of how dark it is. Originally, Fundamental Experiences was going to be a lot heavier. I had actually considered having him accidentally kill his father, and had touched on going more in-depth on the abuse suffered. But...I have an idea to incorporate a quite uncomfortable moment where he sees his father for the last time into that series somewhere...
...is your absolute favorite: 
Why on Earth would you make me choose?!?!? Not to mention, my perception of good or not is heavily influenced by reactions and comments, lol. If I had to pin down ONE, I would maybe say that at the moment, chapter 8, “Did You Know” of Saudade is my favorite. In fact, that whole work is my baby. I really enjoyed making them hurt over the course of 25k words, and then of course, writing out my own pining and yearning into these characters I’ve grown to love so much, well, that was cathartic. I think it’s what finally pushed me over the edge of getting over a semi-recent breakup and a heartache for a crush that was never going to go anywhere(the crush in question once sang me all eight and a half minutes of American Pie by Don McLean at work and my obsession with McLean songs took off from there). I self-project an unhealthy amount, but it leaves my writing astonishingly real.
...is your least favorite: 
Yeesh. Well, I wrote Not Just Happenstance for a “The Dragon Prince” AU thing in a contest-type of thing that was going for a while, and it just felt so rushed and cringey. And this work is what led me to realize I really don’t like writing heavily canon-divergent AUs where just about everything is changed. AUs in general are not my cup of tea, but recently I’ve found a few I really vibe with, but I’m only going to write ones with minor changes. I’m down with reading a few here and there, however.
...was the easiest to write:
Hmm. I think mostly because of it’s simplicity and short-and-sweet style, A Friendship of A Thousand Lifetimes. It was one of my earlier pieces posted, back when I thought I’d get away with uploading under 1k pieces to that series. It came pretty naturally to me, and it was actually a little inspired by HTTYD in the trap aspect.
...was the hardest to write: 
There’s a couple of answers to this question. Emotionally speaking, Uneven Days killed me. I had to take crying breaks to write it. And when I finished it, I wasn’t even relieved, I just felt...numb. But logistically speaking, I’ve done wayyyyy too much research on dancing in the 12th century for one of my WIP Zouxie week fics, lol, for it to only be a super minor aspect. I did a lot of research on that one for acceptable words to use, what clothing would have looked like, and so on, and then I only used a tiny bit of that info in the work. I really struggled to pair it own, too, and it’s almost deserving of it’s own mini-series. If you want the sequel to it, you’ll have to comment requesting it when it goes up Nov. 2nd!
...has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph (share it):
I have a couple answers to this one. In regards to fluff:
“Well,” he starts, running a thumb down her cheek and to her jaw. “Twice in nine hundred years is nothing. I was thinking I’d like to make up for some lost time.”
“I wouldn’t mind that at all,” Zoe answers. She meets his lips with a grin.
I mean, that one is just so freaking flirty and adorable, it makes me feel all AHHHHH on the inside. If not for knowing it’s better unwritten (and that I just,,, I mean,, I would write a scene with them making out but I just don’t know if I should yknow. if you think I should, well, by all means leave a comment here and consider it done) I would have delved into that more lol. I am soft for that sort of super sappy flirting. Saudade, Chapter 8.
In terms of humor? I LOVED writing that email interaction/skype call into my Saudade chapters. I just thought it was so freaking funny and fun to write, not to mention there’s so many lines that are gold in there, I can’t just pick one.
But in regards to the angst and pain??
Archibald feels numb and senseless to even the warmth of the sun on his fur. It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does. Everything has been taken away from him. Archie feels like a celestial body that had orbited a star all it’s life, only to have it suddenly wrenched away from him. He’s now purposeless. Directionless. The gravity is gone and there is nothing to keep him securely in place. 
This one is from Uneven Days again, and whoooo boy does it hurt. I think I managed to capture Archie’s own perception of himself in regards to Douxie. Without Doux, Archie doesn’t know who he is anymore. And that in itself is a powerful thing.
...have you re-read the most:
I’m not sure. Just for perspective, I reread my fics nearly every time someone comments so I can get a feeling for it again, lol. Though, I have only reread Uneven Days twice. Once to edit, and once after posting and that is all. But I think I’ve reread chap 8 of Saudade over two dozen times. I worked so hard to get that one just right. It wasn’t difficult, it was just that I seriously wanted it to be perfect.
...would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time: 
Start with Saudade! It will always be the best place to start, and actually, if you read along with my series updates, they weave together quite well. If you really wanted, you could read A Wizard’s Beginnings first simply because of the chronological order, but it’s not necessary.
...are you most proud of: 
Saudade will always be my magnum opus of fics that I’ve written for ToA. It has everything in it and more. But really? A Sinking Memory is by far the best piece I’ve written for ToA. If you haven’t already, please go read this. There is so much I could go into detail about the ways I tied that whole work together. And in fact, I plan to make a post talking about that because so help me Powers that Be, I am not letting it go under-appreciated. (because holy shit the symbolism and raw fucking emotion in there is WILD)
Tagging(with no pressure, but I’d love to hear from you!): @alovesongshewrote, @constantconfusion14, @feather-dancer and @sammyheroes. Thanks so much for the tag again, much love!!!
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tvandenneagram · 5 years ago
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The Vampire Diaries: Elena Gilbert - Type 9w1
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Elena is caring, humble and stubborn. She is accepting and friendly towards everyone she meets and is one of the most popular girls at Mystic Falls High. She wants to fit in and adapts quickly to read the emotions and feelings of others and appeal to what she thinks they are looking for. She really wants to have a normal life and battles with how this will happen now that she is aware of the Supernatural world. 
I was thinking of typing Elena as a 2 as she is very helpful and can come across as a nurturing figure to her friends and family. However, I think that this has occurred as a reaction to her parents death and feeling as though she has to be this role for Jeremy in particular. Both 9s and 2s are both positive types and put the needs of others before their own but I think Elena does so as a way of keeping the peace more than wanting to feel loved and needed.
At her best, Elena is resilient and becomes more active in her own life. She stops being a damsel in distress for Damon and Stefan to protect and begins taking control of her life and making her own decisions.At her worst, Elena becomes withdrawn, anxious and reactive. It can be seen at the start of the series that she is pushing people away and is emotionally closed off due to the death of her parents. 
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Elena has experienced a lot of loss and change in her life but she remains positive and strong. She has a very calm demeanor and when faced with more tragedies or threats is able to stay composed and think logically. She believes it is better to carry on and keeps her feelings to herself as she doesn’t want to burden anyone else. She will often put others first which can be seen in her decision to go with Klaus in order to keep everyone else safe from him.
Elena finds it very difficult to choose between Damon and Stefan and does not want to make a decision. She fears that she will make the wrong choice and gets stuck in procrastination. She had a very strong relationship with Stefan and has deep feelings for him and is very conflicted when Damon expresses his feelings towards her. She wants both of the brothers to be happy and is afraid of hurting them or coming between their relationship. It takes Stefan confronting Elena about having feelings for her to even consider that this may be true as she is unsure of her own emotions and thoughts. 
Elena has a strong wing 1 as she wants to do the right thing and is more reserved and represses her feeling more than a wing 8. She is mroe likely to write her feelings into her diary than addressing any concerns she may have. 
Tritype: 9w1-2w1-6w7
Some quote to describe Elena’s motivation:
"Dear diary, I made it through the day. I must have said, "I'm fine, thanks," at least thirty-seven times. And I didn't mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks, "How are you?" They really don't want an answer."
“See, the thing is, I got home tonight planning on doing what I always do, write in my diary, like I have been since my mom gave me one when I was 10. It's where I get everything out, everything I'm feeling. It all goes in this little book that I hide on the second shelf behind this really hideous ceramic mermaid. But then I realized that I'd just be writing things that I should probably be telling you."
"When have I ever made a decision? You and Stefan do that for me. Now this, this is my decision."
"Stefan thinks that I have feelings for you."
It was. I'm sorry that I strung you along. I should have figured out what I wanted and just been honest about it. I'm now making the same mistakes with Stefan and Damon. It’s not right what I'm doing to them either, I – I have to let one of them go."
"I don’t know how I feel."
"So, Damon, tell me. What is it that I want?"
"It was my choice to save him. Why aren't you seeing that?"
"Well, he did and that’s exactly what I am. Confused. I need to figure out what these feelings actually mean."
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100 character development questions
these are fun questions so i wanted to answer them all here 
original post
001. When is their birthday?
- Today! October 10th 1995
002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday?
- Her parents used to bake her a cake but since living alone she just makes herself cupcakes
003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea?
- She likes both but coffee does a better job but tea tastes better
004. Do they prefer being alone or with others?
- She spends a lot of time alone and has convinced herself it’s what she wants
005. Are they in good health?
- Kind of? she could stand to take better care of herself
006. What sense do they most rely on?
- Sight, she won’t wear a hood if it obstructs her peripheral vision
007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist?
- Pessimist cause she’s either right or pleasantly surprised
008. What is their favorite fairy tale?
- Chicken Little
009. Do they believe in happy endings?
- She does but for others, not herself
010. Do they believe in love at first sight?
- Unfortunately no
011. How would your character court the person of their dreams?
- Awkwardly try and fail at flirting
012. What makes your character embarrassed?
- Being made to look foolish or stupid in front of others
013. Have they ever been bullied or teased?
- Yep, especially in elementary through middle school
014. Detail one secret shame your character feels.
- She hasn’t been able to graduate on time and it secretly eats away at her
015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?
- Fists, she’ll start talking but get herself in deeper trouble
016. What is their choice of weapon?
- A box cutter she uses for work or a baseball bat studded with nails
017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved?
- She believes it’s justified to protect one’s self or friends and deserved when people do amoral shit. If you hurt kids she’ll curb stomp you
018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do?
- Either not give a shit or join an underground anti-war resistance group
019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose?
- Flight or invisibility
020. What are their hobbies?
- She likes sewing and crafting
021. How do they display affection?
- She’ll want to spend a lot of time with them and bake them cookies
022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?
- She once went out to the desert and got to see the stars with no light pollution. The view in Gotham depresses her
023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically?
- Expressive eyes and a good laugh. Big muscles are a plus too
024. What do they consider ugly in others physically?
- Those who give an air of superiority 
025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise?
- If she can have fun with them and not feel judged
026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise?
- Taking advantage of others and cruelty
027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?
- A life free from debt
028. What makes them laugh out loud?
- A well delivered joke or clever pun can never fail
029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have?
- Some might call it childish 
030. Do they believe in the afterlife?
- She’ll say no but secretly believes in ghosts
031. Are they superstitious about anything?
- She tries to read omens but doesn’t always get them entirely right
032. Does your character believe in ghosts?
- Yes, but she’ll never really admit it until she gets proof
033. Do they keep their promises?
- Tries to, but it doesn’t always work out
034. What’s their view of lying?
- Of course it sucks to be lied to and she wants to be honest with people but sometimes you need to save your own skin
035. What is the most important rule your character lives by?
- Don’t get stuck in Penguin’s pocket and don’t go to a second location, they will kill you
036. How honorable is your character?
- Not very, she’ll lie cheat and steal if need be but can be loyal to a fault
037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do?
- If they were just a regular Joe she’d at least try to give the money back, otherwise just take it
038. What bad habits do they have?
- Smoking, drinking, drugs, mouthing off to powerful people
039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person?
- Fucking with someone’s sense of reality and/or breaking someone’s teeth
040. What is their obsession?
- She doesn’t really have one
041. Are they comfortable with technology?
- Comfortable enough, she can print a document but don’t ask her to code anything
042. What is their greatest achievement?
- Getting into college
043. What will they stand up for?
- She’ll stand up for those weak or in need
044. What disgusts them?
- Cruelty and general disregard for others
045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions?
- Chronic headaches/migraines that’s about it
046. How do they handle getting sick?
- Not well, she’ll be mad and grumpy at herself
047. What was the last medical problem your character had?
- She got food poisoning from a bodega cheese steak sandwich, spent almost two days vomiting
048. Do they have any allergies?
- I think I’ve said she’s allergic to tomatoes in the past but I decided to change it to shellfish
049. How does your character feel about growing old?
- She never thought she’d live this long, growing old is almost unthought of
050. How does your character feel about their own mortality?
- The fact that she will die doesn’t bother her, the question of how and will it hurt like hell does
051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today?
- Probably just have a very chill day getting stoned
052. What is your character’s worst flaw?
- Not thinking things through and mouthing off to the wrong people
053. What is your character’s greatest strength?
- She’s able to notice things others might overlook and find creative solutions to problems
054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind?
- No, being in power doesn’t appeal to her, too many people will want what you have
055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert?
- Introvert
056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger?
- Yes, she’s not proud of it
057. Has your character ever killed anyone?
- Not purposely, she tries not to think about it
058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day?
- It’s cold and rainy outside and all she has to do is get cozy and find a movie
059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up?
- “beg your pardon?” from just being southern “ex-fucking-cuse me?” a phrase from her dear old dad “suck a dick, dumbshit” from bojack horseman
060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning?
- She loves learning, hates the price tag attached and was never really good in school
061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security?
- She thinks she wants safety and security but she prefers the excitement of adventure
062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind?
- A legacy of caring for her friends
063. How well does your character handle difficult people?
- She’ll be nice in a forced customer service setting and glare behind their backs. 
064. In what ways does your character annoy others?
- She can be aloof and has been described as being “a little shit”
065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer?
- She’s no good at leading others, she’s marginally better at following but doesn’t like being told what to do
066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature?
- Being in nature is nice and all but the city has her stuff
067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny?
- Not really but it makes a nice scapegoat when things go wrong
068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it?
- She feels a responsibility towards her friends and family but especially for her fish, Gene
069. What about your character is heroic?
- She’ll stick up for people in need, even if she doesn’t know them
070. What about your character is cowardly?
- She’ll lie and deflect responsibility for her failures
071. How kind is your character?
- Depends on whose asking
072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.)
- probably a bard and annoy everyone 
073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.)
- Villain’s unwilling underling, is in it for the dental insurance or to pay off her own debts
074. What is your character’s favorite game?
- Puzzle games, especially portal and portal 2
075. Is your character ticklish?
- Yes, but don’t tell her I told you
076. How do they express anger?
- Her fists will clench and she’ll probably yell or try to kick their ass.
077. How often do they cry? Over what?
- She either cries over any and everything or goes months without expressing emotions
078. How emotionally stable is your character?
- She’s not, though trying to work on it
079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others?
- She can pick up on emotions but doesn’t always get it exactly right
080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions?
- Too easy, her face is expressive and gives her away more often than not
081. Is your character religious?
- Nope, if anything she hates the Christian God and actively distances herself from it. Christmas is nice tho
082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences?
- Either on her side or stomach under an absurd amount of blankets
083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up?
- Checks her phone and freaks out because she’s probably late
084. Describe your character in one word.
- Tired
085. Describe your character in three words.
- Doing her best (and failing)
086. How would your character describe themself in one word?
- Broke
087. How would your character describe themself in three words?
- “I’m so tired”
088. Is your character quiet or loud?
- Generally quiet
089. How vocally expressive is your character?
- Very, she can mask her disdain in a customer service voice but otherwise it gives her away most of the time
090. How bodily expressive is your character?
- She’s pretty expressive
091. What type of music does your character like?
- Lots of Pink Floyd and the Clash
092. What emotion does your character evoke in others?
- Probably annoyance
093. What is your character’s goal in life?
- Graduate and get out of Gotham eventually, maybe move out west
094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know.
- 1) How it feels to get shocked by an electric fence, 2) knowledge of decomposition specifically human decomposition, 3) how to hot wire a car
095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do
- 1) drive stick shift, 2) sneak around unheard and unseen, 3) hold her breath for up to 3.5 minutes.
096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project?
- She has decent posture but often carries herself in a way to project to others to stay away most of the time
097. How well do they adapt to change?
- Badly, she doesn’t like sudden change at all
098. Does your character like animals?
- Loves them, she’ll feed the pigeons around Gotham 
099. Do they talk to inanimate objects?
- Pretty often, she’ll apologize to a table if she walks into it and will greet stuffed animals in stores
100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?
- She has a lot of nightmares but usually can’t remember what about, usually about being watched or trying to convince someone of something and not being believed. 
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bat-lings · 6 years ago
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Is Bruce a good father to Damian, specifically? I mean, he seems to have learnt from past mistakes... but in preboot, does he even care about Damian at all? Didn't seem like it most of the time (especially in Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul, where he didn't even seem to care that Damian's life is in danger). Do you think he cared about Damian preboot?
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Well, you are both right in that reboot!Bruce puts his preboot counterpart to shame where Damian’s concerned. The thing is, the reboot gave a much bigger place to Bruce and Damian’s dynamic than preboot ever did. Those two actually don’t have that many scenes together in preboot, and said scenes were usually part of a bigger plot/narrative that left little room to focus on their relationship.
I’ll answer this in three stages in order to address everything our Anons mentioned:
Bruce & Damian’s dynamic as portrayed by Morrison
The Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul
Conclusion: does preboot!Bruce care about Damian? And was he a good father to him? (spoilers: yes and no, respectively.)
The conclusion summarizes everything so jump there if the argumentation part is too long.
A) Morrison’s Damian & Bruce
Disclaimer: I really, really hate Morrison’s writing. I’ll try to be reasonable when criticizing it but be extra aware of that bias. It makes me put most of Bruce’s action on the writer rather than the character and while I have my reasons & probably won’t change my opinion, it’s still a pretty categorical take.
Honestly I think Morrison’s Bruce does feel responsible for Damian. I’m even sure he cares about him too:
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[Batman (1940) #657]
Actually, the whole issue is pretty good where Bruce & Damian are concerned. Must be my favorite thing Morrison has ever written. He installs interesting things character-wise, like Bruce making an extra effort to make Damian comfortable in the Manor & be patient with him, or Damian being an insufferable brat up until Bruce snaps at him, at which point he immediately switches off to “yes sir” in front of that new figure of authority.
Those are interesting bases to construct a dynamic upon. Problem is, they’re not gonna be exploited.
Here Bruce shows clear intent to provide guidance to Damian. But rather than give Bruce the occasion to follow up on that intent, and to develop a real relationship with Damian, Morrison gives us the incident Anon mentioned in the next frickin’ issue : an explosion set by Morrison’s godawful “““Talia””” that should’ve killed both her and Damian, and Bruce staring dramatically into the distance.
Does Bruce investigate their disappearance while Damian is being hardcore abused by his mother? Nah, he’s too busy skiing with one Jezebel Jet– a relationship Morrison needs to install since Jezebel has a notable role in Batman RIP.
My point is: as of #658 Morrison considers this arc finished & that there’s nothing to add. By that logic it’s valid to forget Damian until he’s relevant again plot-wise. It’s not (i think?) a way to tell us Bruce doesn’t care about Damian.
Let’s fast-forward to the disputable editorial & writer choice to launch Batman Inc/Leviathan  just after Bruce’s return from the “dead” without A) leaving room for a  confrontation/closure scene between him and Damian beforehand; or B) letting them actually interact more than the strictest minimum in said arc. From a strictly in-universe POV though, it’s not ooc for Bruce to decide unilaterally that Damian doesn’t need him or to focus on the crisis to come without talking to his son first.
I guess I should be talking about Batman Incorporated Vol. 2 too, ‘cause while it’s technically N52 it’s very much in the continuity of the storyline Morrison started in preboot. It also has a few Bruce & Damian moments where despite terrible miscommunication Bruce seems to worry for Damian… But then the plot requires Bruce sending Damian back to the mother who, in this dumbass version, abused him all his life.
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[Batman Incorporated (2012) #4]
If I got that right this is a “Hero must make Big Sacrifice for the Greater Good” moment. The fact that Bruce loves Damian isn’t put into question: it makes the sacrifice more significant.
And that’s kinda my problem. First we’re told that Bruce wants to provide for Damian, but then whatever affection he feels for the boy is sidelined or even sacrificed to other narrative considerations.
So basically Bruce’s love for Damian has no significance in itself. It’s a given that doesn’t particularly need to be illustrated or expanded on; it’s stocked until we need it to breed impact in some scenes. Like the one above or, you’ve guessed it, Damian’s death. So yeah Bruce loves Damian. He loves him so much he’s sad when he dies. Ahem.
All in all it’s not a father-son story: else there would be more banter, slice of life sequences, time for the dynamic to develop, etc. It’s a hero-who-loses-stuff-in-war story. One story isn’t better than the other, they just appeal to different types of audiences.
“Does my father love me” is a personal thus small stake. Batman Inc/Leviathan or “Can I keep this future from happening” are world-wide to city-wide thus big stakes. I think a marked interest in the Big Ideas is what characterizes Morrison’s writing. Thus the portrayal of character relationships has a very specific place in his stories.
Anyway: I don’t think Morrison ever wanted to imply Bruce doesn’t care about Damian. It’s just that he’s a plot-driven writer and that both characters’ interactions & smaller stakes, although somewhat present in his narratives, will always come second in the big schemes of things.
If you consider that Bruce behaving like he does under Morrison’s pen proves he doesn’t give a damn about Damian though, I sure as hell won’t fault you for it.
B) Bruce & Damian in The Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul
(God re-reading an in-character Talia these days is an oasis in the desert. Gotta love that arc all the more for that.)  
Not gonna lie fam. Our two Anons are right when they say Bruce is pretty cold in that one.
But A) Bruce is also dealing with a crisis, which means he’s emotionally removing himself from the situation; B) he’s not treating Damian differently than he is Dick or Tim… which we’ll see is the problem tho.
It doesn’t excuse Bruce’s behavior (I think he’s out of line myself), but I just don’t think it implies he doesn’t care about Damian.
You’ll notice that his apparent aloofness applies to Tim too (and Dick although he’s not mentioned), and that it equally unsettles Talia.
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[Nightwing (1996) #138]
I want to stress the apparent in aloofness. On several occasions during RoRAG Talia reproaches Bruce that he’s not confronting his feelings what else is new. I believe he’s worried about the boys, all of them, but he also trusts them to handle themselves. He also thinks that if he so much as voices his worry, he won’t be able to focus and do what he has to. So he represses them and goes fully in Batman-mode.
Fast-forward. When Bruce is barking at Damian to pick up a sword and fight, it’s his way of protecting him– he needs Damian to defend himself.
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[Detective Comics (1937) #839]
Because it’s not fair to show this without context: 5 seconds before Bruce legit bites Damian’s head off, chill out dude, he goes all protective batdad upon seeing Ra’s trying to steal Damian’s body.
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So yeah. I have reasons to believe Bruce is scared out of his mind here. Hence the very aggressive way he tries to shake Damian into action.
So far Bruce gets a pass. It’s afterwards that he deserved to be punched in the face imo, and that’s probably the scene our Anons had in mind:
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In fact, Bruce is expecting the same from Damian than he’s expecting from his two other sons. To be precise, he’s not treating either of them as sons— they’re on the field, they’re Robin & Nightwing right now. Aka soldiers/partners/teammates rather than family. And Bruce is putting Damian on that exact level when he shouldn’t be.
It’s harsh, and that’s emphasized next to Talia (who is actually written like a Talia). She’s all aggressively worried mother and Bruce’s all cold commander, the contrast is off-putting.
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Talia reacts like a mother first by fleeing to save herself and her son. But Bruce can’t let Ra’s to his own devices, and he expect his sons to fight beside him.
It’s unfair to Damian ‘cause he’s not Robin yet, he’s not part of Bruce’s war the way Dick and Tim chose to be, he didn’t choose to be dragged into Ra’s schemes: he’s snapping to attention at Bruce’s order out of a childish need for validation, not out of a conscious & thought-out choice to make this his life. Also he’s ten. Yet those considerations fly over Bruce’s head: right now and unlike Talia, he’s not thinking like a father.
Do I think Dini balances the Greater Good vs Familial Attachment dilemma better than Morrison does? Hell yeah. He took the time to show Bruce ripping Ra’s apart at the beginning of the issue to prove us Bruce cares. And for all that Bruce’s wrong here, Dini has him fighting beside Damian, not sending him off on his own. Talia’s fleeing with her son gives the reader a reality check & puts the validity of Bruce’s choice into question as it should be. The stakes are also so much more concrete that “distant dark future to avoid”.
Next is probably my fave line ever written about Bruce & Damian ‘cause it gives so much sense (or depth) to Bruce’s hands-off approach.
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And like. Everything that Bruce says here is true. That’s exactly what Damian’s character arc should be about. But dude maybe try to have a relationship with your son outside of the Batman legacy? The thing is Bruce built his relationships with all his kids through vigilantism and I think he just. Doesn’t know how to do it differently. The idea doesn’t even cross his mind for god’s sake.
By my understanding it’s not that Bruce doesn’t love Damian. It’s that he genuinely believes Damian’s better off without him.
It’s low key confirmed in Bruce Wayne: The Road Home.
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[The Road Home: Batman & Robin]
((Don’t trust anything Bruce says about Dick’s “casualness” or whatever in this issue tho. Nicieza just… doesn’t know Dick’s character all that much.))
So Bruce is basically taking the easy way out, yeah. Both in ‘Tec and in choosing it’s not worth trying to work with Damian as his partner. He decides Talia is a better parent & Dick is a better mentor than he could be, and he’s off fighting the good fight against Leviathan.
We can stretch it and say Bruce probs decided he’ll take care of his relationship with Damian after the Leviathan thing is dealt with but tbh I don’t know if DC or Morrison thought that far ahead.
Conclusion
Morrison’s narrative installs that Bruce does feel morally obligated to care for Damian. And although I get why it can feel uncertain, I’m not sure we’re supposed to doubt Bruce loves Damian.
Bruce not looking for Damian after the explosion is is more due to the writer’s choice to consider the “Damian issue” closed for now so that he can focus on his next plot/installment. I guess.
When Bruce has the idea to send Damian back to fake-Talia, I guess his love for his son is a tool used to show how much Bruce is a selfless hero*. and a terrible dad but he’s a Hero™ so it’s okay.
Bruce in RoRAG doesn’t come as indifferent to Damian’s safety to me, he’s being his dumbass self in a crisis situation. He’s got no excuse for sending Damian alongside Dick & Tim when he did though.
On two occasions Bruce unilaterally elects that Damian is better-off without him. First with the in-character Talia who actually loves her son, second as Dick’s partner.
* Actually it’d be very interesting if someone who liked that comic-book could explain me wtf I didn’t get about its narrative significance. Sometimes our personal tastes just render us blind to some things guys.
TL;DR: Does preboot!Bruce love Damian? Yes. Was he a good father to him? No.
And I’m feeling way more comfortable giving a categorical answer here than when I was asked if Bruce is, in general, a good father.
To be fair Bruce does try to step into a fatherly role in Morrison’s Batman #657, aka just after he meets Damian. Afterwards we get sidetracked; and later storylines just. Don’t really give Bruce & Damian the opportunity so share father-son moments.
His behavior in RoRAG is just plain bad. The fact that it’s not due to indifference doesn’t change that. The ten-year-old who didn’t ask for shit should be treated differently that the seasoned vigilantes Dick and Tim are, period.
Obviously leaving Damian in fake-Talia’s clutches or wanting to send him back to his abuser goes under “bad father points” too. If you consider the whole of Morrison’s run should be integrated into your personal understanding of the character, that is. woops look at that terrible bias showing its ugly face again
In later episodes, it’s tempting to give Bruce a pass by saying that he just didn’t get the chance/time to be a good father to Damian, and part of it is true. But again, failing to invest in that relationship is completely in-character, and tbh it’s the part I find the most interesting character- and narrative-wise:
It’s A) self-depreciating (”Talia or Dick can provide my son what I can’t”); B) self-centered, in that Bruce doesn’t stop to consider what Damian thinks or wants; and C) cowardly, in that the second there’s someone else available to take care of Damian, Bruce stops trying to be a father and to invest himself emotionally because gasp, feelings!
As a comparison, think of how long it took for Bruce to go from mentor-protégé-e to father-child in his relationship with Tim and Cassandra; and to admit that’s how he felt about those kids. He didn’t adopt Dick until he was an adult either. Batdad needs time to un-constipate. It’s a Bruce thing, not a Bruce & Damian one.
(Jason is the only kid with whom Bruce immediately builds a wholesome relationship and that’s where you cry because if Jason didn’t die Bruce wouldn’t have half as much trouble getting close to his kids.)
Hope this word-vomit answers that. Thanks for the asks!
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encyclopika · 5 years ago
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2, 5, 13, 27, 28, and 29 I know that's a lot I'm sorry lol
Nothing to be sorry about, Cookie! I appreciate it!
From this writer’s ask.
2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
Sorry to be boring, but not really. Lots of tropes are AU-centric, and that’s just not my cup of tea in writing. I tend to stay pretty in-universe and as canon-compliant as I can. Nevertheless, I’m sure there’s something I’m not thinking of, but I don’t feel like there’s anything I’m DYING to do right now in terms of an official fandom list.
5.  Share one of your strengths.
Oh, uh, hmmmm...I’m really not good at these sorts of questions. I suppose one thing I’m good at (and that sometimes I surprise myself with) is my ability to describe sadness, in its many forms (longing, anxiety, dread, etc.) I don’t know if it’s from a life lived with anxiety/depression, but in both my third and first person works, it always comes up and I always manage to make it sound unique every time. 
13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
I thought about this one long and hard while I was out at sea yesterday. I’ve heard lots of great advice over the years; some of it worked for me and others didn’t. And honestly, I don’t feel too strongly about a lot of it and most “advice” I’d learned myself through practice before hearing it officially.
BUT! The greatest writing advice I’ve heard and I repeat it all the time is “Write the story/fic you want to see in the world.” I don’t know if that really counts - it’s not technical and doesn’t tell you how to do anything - but it appeals to me emotionally and gives me the boost to write things that I want and never appeal to an audience’s whims. I can go into writing something and know that it probably won’t get very many kudos/comments, but that won’t get me down because I wrote something for me and the 2 other people like me and that’s good enough. Years later, I can revisit the work and be like “yeah...this is good food still”. I recently did this with my Giratina-centric Pokemon fic some months ago. It’s been so long that now I read it as if I’m not the author and I really enjoy it. It’s just the fic I wanted to see in the world.
27.  How do you feel about collaborations?
To be honest, I’m not sure. I am so very down with borrowing OCs and let other’s borrow my OCs (with instructions of course - wouldn’t want to represent someone’s character wrong!). But as far as a full on collab? I’m not sure how it would work. This is probably because I’ve never collaborated on anything before, but I guess there’s a first time for everything!
28.  Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
THREE MORE WRITERS YOU SAY?
Madam Chauncey/Chels - I thoroughly enjoy Chels’ writing style. In her latest Todomomo fic, I couldn’t get over the FEEL of the story as it went along, slowly but surely. Everything was so fluid and the word choice was elegant and matched the characters themselves. Everything she writes is magic and I can’t wait to see those multi-chaps she’s been cooking up. 
@sevenrenny - I was reading SevenRenny’s fics before I wrote my own and they are definitely a treasure. Butterflies in the Dark and Wildflowers are two of my absolute favorite IzuOcha fics out there. I love the way Renny describes nature; it’s beautiful!
@singingcookie - oh I absolute love this writer. Even though she writes in third person, it still feels VERY personable with the character(s). It feels like a dialogue and I can’t help but get wrapped up in these character’s personal business. Eri-sitting is cute af and One Plus One is one of my faves - super romantic. And BLESS she’s such a friendo to me, we can bond about OCs and reading other fics. I’m so lucky to have her ~~~
29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
If I like something enough, I tend to feel that it’s perfect on its own. I’ll have to pass on this question...sorry for being boring. I just don’t have an answer for this one! 
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the-nysh · 5 years ago
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Who are your favourite manga/anime protagonists of all time and why?
Of…of ALL TIME!? *mind goes blank* Whew, that’s a difficult + huge pool to choose from, but ‘protagonists’ actually narrows it down, as not all my fav characters are the protags either. Usually I go for the Vegeta + Raphael archetypes instead, cause their character arcs (growth that’s often emotion-based) are more interesting/appealing to me. Protags in general are often nice and likeable by default (in the sense that if I didn’t like them, I wouldn’t force myself to continue the story where they’re the main focus), but they’re also often portrayed with average traits to make them most relatable to the target demographic. Many of them are similarly structured this way with comparable traits/behaviors, so I tend to prefer the ones who can still stand out (in their own unique way) from the rest in general. I also tend to prefer those who aren’t ‘chosen ones’ or who don’t have special hereditary gifts. Instead I prefer them being special through the merits of their own character and the choices they make. So with that criteria said, some names definitely came to mind.
Nausicaa: probably the one I most looked up to and was inspired by as a kid. She did everything I liked and thought was cool, from her free flying/piloting abilities, exploring nature on her own, running her own lab, easily befriending animals, and often finding interesting/different solutions to things that her people wouldn’t conceive of (often in a pacifist way). She could still lead and take charge & responsibility of things as a princess, but still believed in freely doing what she wants (and could still be girly about it too). However, the defining scene that most stuck with me all these years, was her reaction upon finding her father assassinated. The one where she wordlessly gaped in horror and flew into a blind rage (even Teto, her critter, sensed it and got scared), and murdered every assailant in the room with a blunt weapon. Before she picks up the nearest sword and her uncle stops her with his own body, accidentally harming him in the process, and shocking her to her senses, where she then becomes so petrified and guilty at what she’s done that she passes out. She confessed she became that afraid of herself when her emotions and anger ran out of control. And I thought, wow that’s powerful, especially unprecedented and rare for a female (mostly pacifist!) character to suddenly do as well, because that was the strength of her heart, her love for her family, that shone and drove her with the instinct to react so brutally that way. It always made me take pause and ponder, that if I witnessed anything like that happen to my own family or those I cared about, just what form would my anger manifest in response? It’s chilling and ugly to think about, because I’d never want that to happen, but I honestly don’t know if I could hold back either. So I could understand her fear. It’s quite humbling. It’s always this scene I remember and gauge in comparison to when I see other characters strongly react with that same righteous anger/instinctual drive to protect who they care about. And it’s always a fav when I see that happen.
Edward Elric: oh he’s definitely a keeper. Probably one of the most well-rounded and human I’ve seen, with the full spectrum of emotion, badass feats, and quirky + dorky character traits of his own too. A standard I feel, when it comes to well-written and memorable shonen protags. Probably one of my first legit anime crushes obsessions back in the day (even way before Brotherhood existed). I got all the merch, shirts, wall scrolls and everything (got a bunch of craft models for Nausicaa too for that matter). I remember back when my sister asked me who my fav character of the series was, and I answered him without hesitation, but she said ‘oh that’s boring’ just because he’s the protag, (://) so preferring him is apparently expected I guess, oh well. I didn’t go back on my answer then, and I don’t think I could ever go back on it now either. I still faithfully wear an old chibi keychain of him on my bag. My fav scene is probably that really touching moment when he convinced Winry not to kill with a gun, because her hands were better for healing, including how she created and continually fixes/heals his arm & leg. :’) Just ahhh, keeper. 
Guts: hoooo boy. The one and only. The most badass determinator around, continually struggling against all the absolute shit dealt to his life. Just ugh, it’s amazing he hasn’t keeled over yet, after surviving through so much literal hell. His life is just eternal suffering and tragedy, and he’s accepted going down that path. He almost submits to the despair sometimes, but he’s strong. Strong to keep going and not give in no matter how bad it gets. Because he has a mission he absolutely must see through and commit to the end. It’s both painful and awesome to watch him, and I honestly have no idea how he can win (vs Griffith) on his own eventually, but I can only hope he survives to achieve some form of happiness someday, because damn, it’s been so unfair to him. Please just give him a break. I’ll be in that long haul of a ride just to see how he’s doing.  
For more recent protags (and I wish I could choose more girls), ONE is definitely onto something though with his massively relatable yet genuinely hard-working characters, where even if they’re strong in ways, they’re also very humble, and their own merits shine through even stronger. Saitama probably fits my fav protag criteria, along with being an interesting commentary on what happens once you reach the peak of your craft. Is it really worth all the hard work and effort if there’s no one else to share it with? Most interesting food for thought. However, I’m still waiting for him to do something more…where he becomes a bit less passive (and oblivious) to things happening around him, and a bit more engaged and emotionally receptive. For example, if he’s physically invulnerable, then that leaves his mental/emotional vulnerability as a possible target. If it ever comes to that, and he can feel something that makes him react, reflect, and feel alive again, then that’ll be something worth waiting for. He’d really enter my all-time favs that way.
Another recent one who’s caught my eye is Senku (Dr. Stone). Sometimes you’d think he’d be a scheming sneaky bastard (mad scientist) but he’s actually a very standup and compassionate guy. Trustworthy, persistent, and dependable. He’s quirky, he’s unique, and he’s not your typical shonen protag. (He’s also immune to all advances; not interested in the slightest cause his priorities are much stronger.) And I like that. It’s like if Hiruma (es21) got the chance to be the protag, but more down to earth and less threatening/imposing. So far the story’s still pretty new but he’s already pretty memorable. Just gotta see now how his persistence and faith in science will change and save the post-apocalyptic world.
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antonverloc · 6 years ago
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💯💕💑💘
sex + romance headcanons || accepting!!
→  💯: WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S IDEAL DATE?     it depends both on his mood and the point in the relationship he’s at with the person. regarding the first stipulation: if he’s in a particularly bad mood or particularly stressed with work (which is often on both accounts), he’ll be very difficult to convince to go on a date at all. work will always come first, and when he’s swamped or otherwise compromised (i.e. upset), he will not want to go out for anything, even if he’s thoroughly in love with his partner (which is unlikely in and of itself). on days like that, his ideal date would simply be spending time in comfortable silence with his partner while working: if they bring him coffee and just be with him without demanding conversation or attention, just hanging out with him (and not getting in his way) while he’s doing lab work or research or whatever else, he’ll be truly pleased. a symbiotic evening during which he can just have company without being expected to put work second would be the best possible date he could ask for. if he’s in a good mood and not overly busy with work, he’ll be more inclined to go out with his partner (or have a romantic night in). he’s rarely one to enjoy simple dates, in this case, like walks in the park or going to the pub - instead, he prefers to take his partner somewhere nice, like an upscale cafe or restaurant in the parade district (or a select few on st. george’s holm that are up to his standards).
     regarding the second stipulation, the type of date he prefers largely depends on where he’s at in his relationship with the person (all of these depend on the relationship being a relatively serious one, as he’s otherwise relatively uninterested in dates with a partner). for example, if it’s early in the relationship, anton is more inclined to take them somewhere extravagant in order to charm, manipulate, and impress them. if they’re already very close and he feels he’s already done so adequately, he feels less of a need to (although he often still will, as he likes to spoil his partners). instead, he’s more inclined towards the aforementioned type of date (simply enjoying their company) - although if he’s in a good mood, this doesn’t always mean comfortable silence. these dates can also be simply unwinding in the living room-type area of his “lair” with a glass of wine and whining about today’s most incompetent idiot or other, lighthearted and therapeutic topics of interest. conversely, instead of very frequent, extravagant dates, verloc will switch to more personal ways to go overboard. like, for example, making (read: having someone else cook it and passing it off as having been made by him) them a romantic, candlelit dinner.
     dates with verloc can be few and far between given that he prioritizes work over most everything else, but they’re not unimportant to him. he values his partner, and his wealthy upbringing left him with the belief that pampering them (usually with gifts or nice dinners and the like) is the proper way to show them that. he’s also a very, very lonely man in many ways, and as such, they’re also important to him individually - he needs the company of someone he feels close with sometimes, whether he’ll admit it or not. additionally, manipulation is something he falls to often, and he finds that taking his partner on lavish dates is a good way to keep them placated despite his often erratic and abusive behaviour. which, yes, is also abusive. 
→  💕: WOULD MY MUSE EVER BE IN A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP?     short answer: no. long answer: in a hypocritical and self-serving way, yes. anton verloc simply cannot share. he’s jealous, possessive, and controlling - partially because that’s simply his nature, and partially because on some level, he’s absolutely terrified of losing his partner to someone else. if he were in a polyamorous relationship, he would ultimately be incapable of trusting his partner: he’d fear that they loved the other person more, fear that they don’t love him, fear that they’d leave him for them. moreover, he’d go into a jealous rage in all of three seconds, mostly because he has… issues with seeing people as his property when he loves them. which, naturally, is very problematic: he thinks he should have the right to make his partner’s decisions and choose who they can see. not actively - he doesn’t recognize that he thinks this way, and i could go on about why this is the case for hours, but that’s not really the topic. the point is, he could not handle it emotionally, and wouldn’t want to.
     even so, he wouldn’t be against having multiple partners, bringing us to the aforementioned hypocrisy. he would never cheat on a partner and would always be sure that they were alright with it first, but assuming they were and he did have an interest in someone else at the time, he would be perfectly willing to have a polyamorous relationship. but if either (or any) of his partners wanted to be with others themselves, he would never be alright with it (with the exception of very, very rare circumstances). unfair and unreasonable, i know. fortunately, at the very least, if a partner told him “no, i’m NOT comfortable with you having multiple partners”, he would be understanding and respectful of that.
→💑: WHAT ARE MY MUSE’S REQUIREMENTS FOR A POTENTIAL PARTNER?     there are both many and very few all at once, which i realize makes very little sense. to elaborate: anton could, potentially, find a wide variety of partners appealing, as his requirements don’t necessarily limit him to a certain type of person, which i imagine is what this question partially means (”what’s his type”). that said, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a lot of requirements.
     first of all, intelligence. this is a deal-breaker. anton cannot and will not be in nor want a relationship with someone he finds intellectually dull. it’s not stimulating, it’s not interesting, and in all likelihood, he’ll just find them abundantly irritating. there are no exceptions or stipulations here.
     second of all, honesty. this is more important after sally than before sally (the two universally accepted eras of time, A.S. and B.S.), as he’s terrified of being manipulated after his relationship with her whereas before, he was certain of his ability to be the one doing the manipulating instead. as such, after she left him, it became infinitely more important to him that he was sure he could trust his partner. liars, manipulators, people like him - he’s notably less inclined to be with them than he would someone straightforward and blunt.
     next, he needs someone who, to some extent, can understand him. he’s a complicated man who can very easily be viewed as nothing but a villain, and he can’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t see that that isn’t all he is. he doesn’t need them to agree with his views or actions, but he needs them not to demonize him for them and to at least understand where he’s coming from.
     he also prefers partners who he can understand. he has great difficulty understanding overly emotional individuals, and when a person frequently favours emotion over logic, he grows frustrated both by his inability to relate and his inability to understand why they’re thinking how they are. and if he gets constantly frustrated, that relationship is destined for failure. we’ve all seen anton verloc frustrated. he doesn’t need his partner to think exactly like he does, but he needs common ground.
→💘: WHAT ARE THE WAYS MY MUSE SAYS “I LOVE YOU” WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING IT?     these nonverbal methods are pretty much the only ways he says that, actually. those three words very rarely leave his mouth, as they openly and undeniably put him in a place of vulnerability. that said, that means there are many (often subtle) ways in which he says it without saying it. 
     talking to them about his work without prompting is one of them. it means he expects them to understand, subsequently showing that he respects them - and that he cares about their opinion enough to share his full thoughts with them. 
     there are small actions, additionally, that say “i love you” simply because he wouldn’t do them for anyone else. they can be easily dismissed, though, because a normal person might do them for anyone. for example, if an average human being made you a cup of tea without prompting, you might write it off as them being polite and hospitable. if anton verloc makes you a cup of tea without prompting, that means that he actively thought about another human being’s preferences and desires when he would normally only have considered his own, and that’s quite something. there are some circumstances in which he would do this to be hospitable (only when manipulating/charming others, really), but if he’s his normal asshole self and he makes you tea (or something of the like: alcoholic beverages, food, coffee, etc.), that means something. 
     if he lets himself be vulnerable around them, that’s a solid “i love you” right there. aftercare after sex? not something he allows. but if he lets a partner take care of him afterwards, that’s an “i love you”. if he lets them do something like give him a massage when he’s openly stressed/in pain, that is too – bonus points if he actually asks for one. emotional vulnerability, too; if he opens up about something he’s feeling, that’s yet another thing he wouldn’t do with someone he didn’t care deeply for.
     little things like generally taking care of his partner are also important. making sure they’re eating and sleeping well, bringing them gifts, worrying about them in any capacity - all of those small things mean that he actively thought of them and their wellbeing without prompting, and valued those concerns enough to act on them.
     finally, actually wanting their company is another way he shows his love. verloc just doesn’t like people as a general rule, finding himself superior to them and as such, finding them irritating. so when he actually seeks out a person to spend his VERY VALUABLE TIME with, that means he thinks notably higher of them than almost anyone else. 
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scripttorture · 6 years ago
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(pt 1 of 2) So I've got a character (A) that gets snagged by this group of mercenaries/assassins in the hope of drawing out this other character (B) they've been trying to kill. B is telepathic, so the group is hoping that by torturing A he'll have to come and save her. It doesn't work, and A goes through about three days of torture (beatings, mostly) before she's rescued by another character, C.
(pt 2 of 2) C and A are from different races that are mortal enemies, but C saves A because torture is something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. Granted, he does the bare minimum to save her, but could that sort of thing be enough to shake A's firmly held beliefs about C's whole race? Secondly, how do I patch things up between A and B? I've got a lot of people being unreasonable, especially in the short term, but I'm not sure how reconciliation should go, since A is mad and B is ashamed.
Whenit comes to strongly held beliefs I don’t think there are many firmanswers.
Evidencealone generally doesn’tshake our beliefs and we have a marked tendency to pick and choosethe evidence we cite, emphasising and giving more weight to thingsthat support what we believe. We do this even when we’re aware ofthis effect. It seems to be a universally human trait.
Butevidence coupled with emotional appeals canchange people’s minds. People can also gradually change over time.
Thekey word here is ‘can’. It is possible.That doesn’t mean it happens every time.
Thingslike de-radicalisation programs domake a measurable difference in the broad sense. But they don’treach everyone they interact with.
Andthe things which trigger a change of heart are not always fastacting. They can be things that gnaw at a person over a course ofyears, gradually prompting them to shift their stance.
Essentiallyyou could choose to take this either way. You could have A’s viewof C’s people changing, either abruptly or gradually. But you couldalso have A write the incident off as an exception to the rule orotherwise dismiss it. Either response can happen in real life.
Let’sstep back from the success rates of organisations like After Hate fora moment and address this as writers.
Ifyou wantA to have a massive change of heart then however quick the change itcan’t feel like it comes out of nowhere. The readers have tounderstand the process A goes through emotionally.
Whichmeans the reason behind this has to be more than C’s actions: itneeds to be the feelings and thoughts those actions prompt in A.Otherwise the change is going to come across emotionally flat.
ShowA struggling with these thoughts and feelings, swinging betweendoubting what they were taught and what they experienced. Don’t betempted to make this change easy and don’t be afraid to show Afalling back on old, toxic patterns occasionally.
Movingon from these sorts of hateful idea isn’t easy. It means aconcerted choice every day to address your own toxicity and dedicateyourself to being a better person.
Thatsort of introspection, judgement and emotional work is always inprogress. People often slide back a little even if they’re makingprogress over all. That isn’t unusual.
AndI honestly think that this change will read better if it involvessome internal struggle. The best way to present that will vary withhow you write. If it’s from A’s point of view you can show it asis. You might be able to work it in to conversation with C.
Youmight find having B pick up on it works as well, because that thengives you a way to tie these separate sub-plots together. It mightwell be easier for A and B to argue about how A feels about C/C’speople then it is for them to address their problems with each other.
Whichleads us to A and B’s relationship.
HonestlyI think this is something you should be tailoring to the charactersbecause the ‘right’ answer is going to vary with the individualsinvolved. It might be helpful to unpack some ‘logical knowledge’vs ‘emotional assumptions’ on the part of both characters though.
Let’sstart with A.
NowA probably knowsthat rescuing her wasn’t just a question of skill or bravery. Arescue mission is a difficult and risky prospect, highly likely tofail and extremely rare in reality.
She’dknow that B would find it difficult to rescue A. If B doesn’t havean organisation backing them up then a rescue would have been almostimpossible to pull off successfully.
She’dknow that a rescue attempt could result in B being captured andtortured too. She’d know that an unsuccessful rescue attempt couldeasily lead to A herself being killed.
AdditionallyA would also be aware that torture was warping her perception of theworld. A would probably not always be awareof where She was being held or many of the details of herimprisonment.
Ifall B has to go on for a rescue mission is A’s thoughts then A mustknow that B would have had trouble finding her.
Awould also know that the more B connected with A’s mind the moreimpaired B would be. Because B would also be experiencing thedisorientation, confusion and delirium the pain of torture causes.This sort of confused thinking would leak through and create animpairment even if B couldn’t experience A’s pain.
Bwould also know, logically, all the reasons they couldn’tpractically have rescued A.
Bwould be in the unfortunate position of having a second-handexperience of A’s trauma throughout. The threat of torture is veryreal here. It’s immediate. B’s fear of that is legitimate andshouldn’t be dismissed.
Butthat logic doesn’t trump the emotional side of all this.
Andthe emotional side is that B probably feels like they let A down. Aprobably feel betrayed and hurt and abandoned. They bothprobably feel isolated from each other and like it’s harder totalk.
Neitherof these sets of feelings are logical or rational. But there’s anextent to which that doesn’t matter.
Ithink the best way to address it is directly. Which doesn’t providean easy resolution.
Thething is- most torture victims don’texpect to be rescued. They are not in a position to…. think there’sany possibility of rescue. A’s position here is unusual and thatcomes in part from her being privileged enough to know powerfulpeople. Contact with other survivors might help A realise this andprocess a little of how she feels emotionally. It might help heremotionally accept that the expectations she had of B wereunreasonable.
Havingthem talk about it, the reasons why A expected something and thereasons B couldn’t provide it is an important first step. But thisisn’t something that’s going to resolve overnight. Oneconversation, even if they do listen and understand each other, isn’tgoing to resolve everything.
OnA’s side it’s a case of rebuilding trust. I think that’s ofteneasier to write because we see so many examples of it in literature:trust lost and rebuilt. It’s something that’s best built upslowly over time with a lot of actions on B’s part rather than withsome kind of ‘Big Damn Heroes’ moment.
Agood starting point would probably be helping A with her recovery.Consistent help with the little things she’s struggling with (whichinitially may include eating, getting dressed and moving about) wouldgo a long way.
Shemight not forgive B quickly or at all. She may stop relying on B toprotect her. But care is important too. It’s possible to trustsomeone with some things, some aspects of life and not others.
Partof this depends on how deep you want their reconciliation to go. It’sperfectly possible for them to completely rebuild their relationshipso it’s just as strong as before, but it would take more work thenrebuilding something shallower.
Ithink in some ways B’s side of this emotional problem is harder. Acan meet other torture or trauma survivors and learn that theexpectation of rescue is a fantasy out of most people’s reach. Shecan gradually come to trust B again if they both communicate honestlyand B takes the time to try and care for her, to try and build thatfriendship back.
ButI get the impression B has lost their trust in themselves and that’sa lot harder to regain.
Angerruns out of steam eventually. And sick angry people still need to eator help getting out of bed.
Shamecan eat at someone for the rest of their life.  
Myhonest instinct is that if these were real people they’d both needtherapy. A lot of therapy.  And while that’s not something that wecan work in to every setting emotional support definitely is.
Bis going to have to forgive themselves for what happened. A big partof that means accepting their own powerlessness in this situation,which is a terrifying thing. It create a sort of emotional push-pulleffect, forgiving themselves means accepting something incrediblyfrightening so it’s easier to avoid those feelings and hold on toarrogance.
Itcan sometimes be easier to tell ourselves we’re cowards or badpeople then it is to accept our own limits.
EarningA’s trust again may not necessarily combat these feelings, B mightcontinue to feel unworthy of that trust.
Thereare a lot of ways to write a set up like this convincingly and well.I think you’ll get the best results by trying to tie thecharacters’ progress to both the overall story and the charactersas individuals.
They’reprobably going to go mess up a few times. They’re probably going toheal at different rates and be ready for different things atdifferent times. Try to be aware of how other things that arehappening in the narrative might effect the characters emotionally.Because the other things going on in their lives could be useful toprompt this kind of emotional growth.
WhenI’m trying to reconcile characters I often try to think about whatthe root of the problem is. It’s often not what the characters areexpressing or consciously aware of as the ‘problem’.
Inthis case I’d guess that it’s ideas of safety and security on A’spart and ideas of duty and bravery on B’s. Those ideas are thingsall of us can understand but the ways they’re expressed areparticular to your characters.
Ihope that helps. :)
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skygemspeaks · 6 years ago
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Sorry to do this to you, but Supernatural for the ask game?
Oh wow, I haven’t been in that fandom in a long time. I dropped it when Charlie died, so my answers might be a bit outdated.
my all-time ultimate fave character:
Dean Winchester - as an oldest child, there are a lot of things I find myself connecting to him about. Obviously, my childhood was nowhere near as tumultuous as his, but no matter the scale, there are some things that all oldest children share. I love how selfless he was, always putting Sam before himself.
a character I didn’t used to like but now do:
Bela Talbot - I don’t agree with everything she’s done, and there are a lot of things about her that I really respect.
a character I used to like but now don’t:
Sam Winchester - I used to love him, but the more time I’ve spent away from the series the more I come to dislike him. His relationship with Dean used to be one of my favourite things about the series, but the more I’ve grown, the more I’ve come to really resent him. He’s always choosing other people over Dean, who essentially gave up his entire childhood to let Sam live as “normal” a life as he could, and Sam is just so ungrateful about all of it?
a character I’m indifferent about:
Gabriel - A lot of people like him for a lot of different reasons but I’m personally just kinda meh about him.
a character who deserved better:
Benny Lafitte - God, he was one of my absolute favourite characters, and it still hurts me how absolutely sweet and amazing he was, and everything that happened to him. I’m still so bitter about the way Sam treated him the entire time he was in the living world. That being said, there are a lot of characters I think deserved better, including but not limited to: Charlie, Henry Winchester, Jo and Ellen Harvelle, Bobby Singer, Ash, Adam Winchester, and I could go on and on and on.
a ship I’ve never been able to get into:
Megstiel - I’ve been out of touch with this fandom for a long time so I don’t know if this ship is even a thing anymore, but back before Meg died for good, this was starting to get pretty popular actually, and I never for the life of me understood why. Like, logically see where it came from, but the appeal never made sense to me.
a ship I’ve never been able to get over:
Destiel - I’m so sorry but no matter how over this series I am, in my eyes Dean and Castiel will always belong together, end of discussion. 
a cute, low-key ship:
Bobby Singer/Jody Mills - I just think they’re cute together, and after Ellen, Jody’s my favourite motherly figure for the Winchester bros. (But also lowkey I can never think of her without also thinking of Zack and Cody.)
an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:
Sam/Jess - We never saw much of her, and everyone seems intent on shipping him with Gabriel for some reason, but from what we saw of them I think they were a real cute couple.
a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:
Dean/Anna - if we’re talking about something that happened in canon. I never really saw the chemistry there tbh.
Wincest - if we’re talking about a ship in fanon. It grosses me the fuck out, what the hell y’all.
my favourite storyline/moment:
Death’s Door - aka the episode where Bobby died. It was one of the most heartbreaking episodes in the series for me and even though all the deaths before this made me emotional, this is one of the ones that hit me hardest. That being said, it was beautifully written and executed, and everything about it was just perfect. It broke my heart, but I do think that Bobby’s death was the perfect ending for this episode. It just wouldn’t have been as powerful if he had survived.
a storyline that never should have been written:
Soulless Sam. God, I hated soulless Sam.
my first thoughts on the show:
Interesting world, cool characters, good acting, good writing.
my thoughts now:
Emotionally exhausting (which is another of the reasons I dropped it), badly written, absolute dumpster fire of a show, needs to have ended about 8 seasons ago.
All that being said, I haven’t been in this fandom in a hot minute and I’m actually surprised I even remember this much. I chalk it up to the fact that I did a lot of research for it for my fics, back in the day.
And also just a heads up but like, I absolutely do not want anyone coming into my house trying to start discourse with me. Any asks of the sort will be promptly deleted and offending individuals will be immediately blocked.
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