#bit of a vent post

[syn0vial]

after attempting to commission art of boba fett without his helmet, i am forced to consider that a good number of artists, subconsciously or not, cannot accept that temuera morrison has always been hot despite his lack of european features, and honestly this explains a lot about the fucking travesty that is every single clone's face in TCW and TBB

[misscammiedawn]

Never trust anything you think about yourself after 10pm. It's all lies and you'll feel better in the morning.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT EVEN 8PM YET?!

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Alright folks, final Qsmp post of the day (--will have mentions of the Forever situation fyi--)

The prison event was very fun and I got some good laughs (especially from the therapy session). I'm glad to be back and have broken the ice after being radio silent for like 3 weeks.

Going forward, I don't think I'll be as emotionally invested with the lore as I was before with Forever's content, and him not being here is still weird for me. There's moments that feel so much like he should be there, and references that I know would've been made if the server wasn't collectively ignoring his existence. I understand why they're doing that, and I'm not saying they shouldn't. I remember seeing some posts after the initial blow up saying it would probably feel off for a while before the server found a way to fully move past it. Its completely understandable, just like I hope its understandable that people like me still feel sad and hurt over the loss. That'll take a while, and I'm sharing this cause I hope this can resonate with anyone who feels the same.

Oddly enough, this whole situation gave me the opportunity to step back and learn a lot about myself. Hyperfixations are a big deal for ND people, it can be life consuming, and as much as I stand by the fact that everything would've been astronomically better if this never happened... I do think it helped me analyze my own brain in a way I didn't before, issues I had been ignoring or hadn't realized. There's a lot to life, and sometimes you lose sight of that when you're zeroed in on one thing 24/7. I'll still think about the cubito and consume content of him until I naturally lose interest (shout out to the other former Forever fans who are doing the same, separating character from CC of course), but from here on the Qsmp is something I'd like to just have fun with. Something for creativity and culture, but as a fun hobby rather than a serotonin lifeline. This may sound dramatic, but you never know what's happening in someone's life, and what they use to keep themselves going when nothing else is going right for them. Its why this kind of content exists, and I'm thankful for what this server provided when I was still figuring myself out. Even with the situation, I don't want to forget about any of it. But I think I'm ready to take a new and healthier approach this time.

Having said that, I'm glad I could be here for today, and I want to continue being in this fandom until the server itself is ready to end. The Prison Event, whether planned in advance or last minute, was honestly a really great way to give a bit of a blank slate for people still feeling weird about Forever's absence. It brought a new premise disconnected from him and gave people like me a reason to come back to livestreams. I'm glad to have broken the ice and to know that I can come back to the Qsmp fanbase and content, even if its different this time, I'm glad its there for me to return to when I feel like it.

There's a billion drafts for other fandoms and topics that I want to get through, and I'd like to be more consistent with them since my Qsmp hyperfixation has calmed down a bit. But I'll be here, sometimes blogging, sometimes just vibing. Its good to be back, I missed all of you a ton. See you at the Inmate Crucifixion <3

[thefroggypond]

deleted all the writing and art you sent me

didn’t even look at or read it for a final time

felt sorta freeing

i can pretend you never existed now :)

[askkwieon]

oh my god. i forgot how much i miss my old friends

[cupidsarrowneverhitanaro]

Meeting with the Principal

"I would like to personally help our top students apply for college." My brain freezes. I look at the other two kids, but they are excited, already talking I don't hear a word they're saying. Am I a "top student?" Perfect grades A pleasure to have in class The highest ACT score the school has ever seen I guess I am. This is it, then. You've been perfect; here's your reward.

Now stay perfect.

.

.

Written August 2022.

[skittish-labrat]

Been a while since I've been on here, sorry for disappearing like that. School made me slow down here, and my social anxiety and repression made it easy to just give up, but recent events (read: the election) have made me decide that I'd rather not die unfulfilled, so here I am!

[infacheezit]

I’m watching Mob Psycho. I feel so connected to Reigen in a weird way. Just the fear of not being able to be anything without other people and seeing his cycle be the exact one that I go through is just concerning. I swear this show feels like watching a fragment of me and what I could become.

[coots-and-bats]

On tumblr bc I wanna ramble but man,

Christmas really isn’t a happy time for me, it’s just kinda, there?

Abstaining from the family secret santa bc one, catching covid meant I wasn’t able to shop for a gift anyway and two, there’s no theme and bo assigned people, it’s the kind where you buy a gift and put it in the middle and you go around and pick a present/steal and I can guarantee like, over half of the gifts will be alcohol and I! Don’t drink!

And I’m gonna sound so ungrateful but like, I know dad’s mentality of gifting money is ‘aw I don’t know what you want so here you go!’ but man it just kinda…makes me feel very unseen.

I know it’s not about what you receive but the thought and season of giving but what to do when there’s so clearly…zero thought behind it, like it’s just done bc we feel like we ‘have’ to.

Dad and I don’t even put up any decorations anymore, idk I just get a bit melancholy hearing about how festive other households get

[hel-phoenyx]

It may be because of my period but my emotions are having ups and downs so quickly

I was angry af some hours ago, re-reading content on my characters made me so happy and now I'm just

Hurt

Tired

Feeling like the biggest scum on earth

I don't know

[deadsquidstudios]

Cat had mandatory vet appointment today and while everything seems fine she had to get mandatory bloodwork done and as usual my anxiety has decided that it is mandatory to make me worry that my cat is secretly deathly ill.

fucking hell this is why I hate vet appointments all my pets are getting old and my brain is full of dread blergh

[cringycrisis]

Don’t you love it when life and work both team up to kick your ass?

[darkmuffinstudios]

Whenever I’m struggling (physically, emotionally, or psychologically), I would always put a pen to my screen and just let myself draw.

Messy lines for messy feelings

I hope I captured it well. Killer and Nightmare were always a perfect muse for these kinds of moments.

[the-infamous-cowardlion]

I love when people from first world countries decide to share on tumblr for the bilionth time that they're using animals products since they're "sooo enviromentally friendly and use the WHOLE animal uwu"

Meanwhile, 80% of the deforested area of the amazon rainforest is used for cattle ranching. But sure, feel free to tell me how eco-friendly your leather is as the tanning poisons our rivers or how important meat is for european culture while latin america burns for your double cheeseburger.

Don't worry, I totally understand it's too much to ask for you to stop eating meat in the name of the planet, animals, and us third-worlders who will be affected the most by global warming.

[o-mellowy]

Post sob-session glow 🌟

[turtletoads]

thinking about those cora lives aus but they never explain how he’s alive, so i always assume its this scenario